


No Familiar Sunken Roads

by SilusLocke, x57



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Extremely Underage, Kid Eggsy, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Drug Use, Shota, Stalking, Underage - Freeform, bordering on dark!Harry, extremely morally dubious Harry, not between the main characters, partially off screen rape, yet kind of sweet in a weird way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:26:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 60
Words: 663,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3984880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilusLocke/pseuds/SilusLocke, https://archiveofourown.org/users/x57/pseuds/x57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Harry didn't have many qualms about covert surveillance anymore. If he did, he was certainly in the wrong line of work. But he knew that if he allowed himself to be sucked into this budding...feeling, edging far too close to desire, watching Eggsy like this would soon turn from enticement to torture. </i><br/> </p>
<p>Harry never stops watching Eggsy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
[View full size](https://www.dropbox.com/s/1qn4z073ns8r2va/no-familiar-sunken-roads.jpg?raw=1) ([More art](http://pixiv.me/x57)) 

_"This is not the same river at my fingertips._  
_There are no paths, no sunken roads_  
_familiar in the forest, by which we can_  
_retrace our steps,_  
_by which we can escape,_  
_by which we can reclaim and return,_  
_or hear the child's song running in the timothy..."_

\- Paulinskill Hours and Other Poems by John Daniel Thieme

* * *

Night fell quietly the day Harry left Michelle Unwin's doorstep. He could still hear her inside as the door closed behind him and the wintry chill in the air bit at his nose. Thin walls. But it had been warm inside, warm like only a family could make a room, and Harry felt that pang deep in the centre of his chest. As he descended the stairs, flights of them in the endless concrete structure of Rowley Way, he wasn't thinking as much of the woman who'd lost her husband so much as he was thinking of her son.

Eggsy. Funny name, but as soon as he'd looked up at Harry with those clear blue-green eyes, it seemed one that fit. Harry suspected the boy would be crying much as his mother was later, when the news sank in, when his father didn't come home, but for the sparse minutes Harry had laid eyes on him, the boy had been quite striking. 

The Unwin boy remained with Harry over the next several days, but only in fleeting thought. After a week or so, he'd mostly put it out of his mind. 

It wasn't until a year later, during a late night at the manor, that Lee Unwin's son finally re-entered Harry's thoughts. He'd been filing paperwork, nestling in the new with the old, lists of potential candidate families with new children - just to keep an eye on them - added beside knights past, when one folder caught his attention. The former candidate for the Lancelot position. The man who'd died, saving his life. 

It wasn't the first time a man had died in Harry's place and he doubted it would be the last, but this time when he recalled that day, Harry didn't just remember the sandy haired man with an odd sense of humble pride and a modest background. Harry remembered the boy he'd left behind. The one who'd stared into Harry's eyes without fear or judgement even as he'd explained to the boy's mother how Lee had died. 

Harry paused. He was surprised at just how well he remembered those blue-green eyes. It didn't take long before he finished up that night with a notion prickling in the back of his mind. It was a notion that led him to turn away from his own doorstep as he returned to the city, heading north instead. 

The Alexandra and Ainsworth TRA hall was much unchanged from the last time Harry had set foot upon its grounds. He held his umbrella and briefcase with idle purpose as his feet carried him down a vaguely familiar walk until he spotted the door he sought two levels up in the distance. 

Not just a door; a small head of auburn hair was just visible above the concrete wall enclosing the walkway, accompanied by a small hand. Pushing something along, though what manner of toy wasn't visible from such a distance. After a few steps, the hand disappeared and switched to the other, contently running the toy along the walkway rim in the other direction. 

The child made a circuit back and forth, never straying too far from that particular door, before finally disappearing from sight behind the wall. Mrs. Unwin was nowhere in sight, but that meant nothing. Especially that the area was unobserved. Too many windows lined the walk even if they were at a distance. 

So Harry walked on, cutting his path short and taking the stairs while the boy was on the other side of the corner. He darted up quickly but surely, face expressionless and eyes ahead of him as though he'd not seen the child at all, and yet some strange sense of thrill leapt inside Harry at the sight of the boy. 

He overtook the second level of flats and continued up to the third, pausing only when he was out of site of anyone on the level below. He moved down the walkway at a slower pace then, bringing himself closer to where the boy was playing until, carefully, casually, just as he heard the faint, childishly approximated sounds of a race car screeching along a concrete wall, Harry pressed his weight against the railing and glanced down. 

And there the boy was, cross-legged on the walkway in a set of second-hand clothes that had seen better days. A couple of toy cars sat beside him, with one more rolling along underneath his fingers with a high-pitched humming meant to mimic the sound of an engine. Eggsy pushed the toy around in loops, racing against a track only he could see.

The moment was broken when another tenant walked by. The man had no time or inclination to step around the boy, and so Eggsy was forced to snatch his cars up and scoot back against the walkway edge before he was stepped on. His heard turned as the adult cursed under his breath and grew fainter as he strode down the walkway, eventually disappearing into a flat several doors down.

It was then that Harry got a really good look at him. And couldn't look away. 

Eggsy hadn't grown overly much since the last time Harry had seen him, but Harry's recollection of the boy was swiftly overtaken with this new vision of him. With the soft sun glinting off his hair and half light falling across his pale cheek, Eggsy was...rather beautiful, for lack of a better description. It was the way his gaze lingered on the door his neighbour disappeared into that gave Harry pause. Well, one of the things that gave Harry pause. 

Eggsy didn't go back to his game right away. As though he were wary the man would come back or other adults would come by. The boy was clearly used to playing alone. 

Even when he resumed play, there was an air of caution instead of the stereotypical carefree attitude a boy of his age should have had. Eggsy didn't sink back into his imagination games right away, but glanced around every few minutes, just in case someone else made an appearance on the walkway. It was only after several minutes passed that he stopped watching for trouble.

Barely another minute passed before Harry heard the the slight rasp of door hinges and a woman's voice called out. "Eggsy? Come in 'ere, you've been out there long enough."

Eggsy's mouth turned downward but he gathered up his cars obediently, perking up a bit upon mention of a biscuit for an afternoon treat. The boy disappeared out of sight and the door shut firmly behind him.

Harry stepped back from the rail and resumed his slow pace to the opposite stairway, his thoughts churning all the while. It wasn't...a particularly brash decision what he did next. Harry did such things all the time. It was the impulse that was brash. 

On swift legs and a turn of his briefcase Harry descended to the Unwins' door, walking past as fast as normalcy would allow and palming a miniature device against the door frame. 

He left as quickly as he came. 

When Harry arrived home in a secluded little mew of Kensington, he went straight to his office, fired up his laptop, and dialled into a memorized network. With minimal adjustment, he directed the focus of the receiver to a 120 degree radius, just enough to cover the extent of a small flat, and let the sound of Michelle's voice permeate through the speakers on the wall. Just as though she were there in the room with him.

"Do you not like the Leicester boys?" Michelle's voice came through clear, despite the distant noise of the telly and the quiet sounds of domesticity. Cupboard doors opened; plates clicked against one another, then against the plastic of a tabletop. "I know they're a couple years older, but... no?"

A child's voice mumbled a response. At a second prompting, Eggsy repeated himself. "They don't like me."

"Don't like you? That's silly. There's no reason not to like you."

"I don't like them either, they took a car and threw it away."

Harry licked his lips, waiting with keen ears as the conversation continued. It moved at the slow cadence of Michelle's movements and Eggsy's avoident replies until Harry imagined her sitting down at a table with her son. The longer he listened, the more he became aware of what he was doing. Stakeouts were like that. Ninety percent slow and idle chatter and little else. When Harry had had enough he sank back against his chair and turned off the feed. He'd gleaned what he wanted. Enough to satisfy his curiosity about the boy he'd left fatherless a year ago. 

Harry turned off the computer and put the little excursion out of his mind. He went to fetch a glass of wine and a movie instead. He'd check in on the boy again, but he'd give it a while. Just to make sure the young Unwin was doing ok. 

One flight of fancy for the day was good enough.

* * *

It turned out that Harry managed to keep little Eggsy out of his thoughts, mostly, for a while. He turned on the bug he'd left at their door occasionally, whenever a small face set with bright eyes and soft skin edged into the corner of his mind, but ultimately listening to Michelle talk on the phone with her sister and only the occasional interjection from Eggsy over the din of the telly was...unsatisfying. Harry checked the feed less as the months went by.

It wasn't until almost a year later that Harry felt the urge to visit the Unwins in person again. The bug had finally run out of battery life weeks ago, and he was spurred into the idea when he remembered it would be the anniversary of Lee's death. Or around that time. Harry had strangely little interest in checking to be certain, but he did have a keen interest in seeing Eggsy again. 

The boy was outside again, easily spotted once Harry drew close to the tenament complex. Gone were the toy cars, leaving a rather dejected looking youth sitting on the steps of one stairwell and tossing a small rubber ball into the air. Eggsy had grown, but was still too young by far for the notable sharp increases of height that came with puberty. The most drastic change were faint, purple smudges of fatigue near the boy's eyes.

From the reaction of the other tenants, Eggsy looked to be a regular on the steps. Others passed him by without so much as a curious glance.

Harry kept his distance, Eggsy would probably move to the lower level if he wanted to toss the ball against a wall for a game, but the feeling Harry was struck with again at seeing the boy, even from so far away, was jarring. 

It was...he'd visited Eggsy before now, twice. He'd heard the boy's voice often enough through the speakers in his office over a glass of wine and a good novel. He'd wondered about the boy's welfare often enough. The death of a parent was unimaginable to a child so young, and yet it had happened. Harry would have been surprised had Eggsy _not_ been going through a rough patch. But that wasn't the entirety of what struck Harry about the boy. Again, all Harry could think was that he was... _beautiful_. 

And so Harry strolled unseen along the lower level, taking care to listen for Eggsy's footsteps while he moved as close as he could. He felt certain the boy would descend soon enough. He'd spotted a group of teenagers approaching down the long walk where Eggsy played. So, careful to make sure there were no neighbours about and no windows directly facing him, Harry positioned himself just around the corner of a service stairwell. 

Voices rang out, the familiar pattern of call and response, and Harry heard Eggsy get to his feet to go greet the approaching teens.

"Hey, skinny runt. Whatcha doin'? You alright, mate?"

"...guess." The boy's response was quiet enough that Harry nearly missed it in the shuffle of feet and the sounds of hands slapping arms and backs. Eggsy was a good deal younger than they, but there was some amount of camaraderie between them.

"Guess what? Either you are or you ain't, and you look a bit ragged 'round the edges."

"Is it yer mum again?"

"...yeah." Eggsy spoke again, slightly louder this time, and with a bit of an edge. "I'm fine, though. I'm not a wuss."

"Yeah, we know you ain't," another one of the boys agreed readily. "You don't gotta talk about it. Just, look... you don't gotta sit around on the stairs all day neither. Stuff gets too bad, just tell yer mum that you're gonna visit, and come over. Right?"

Harry frowned, firstly unsure whether these boys had good intentions and weren't just looking to have a younger boy around to tease and run errands for them, secondly rather put out that Eggsy might disappear inside. All he'd be able to do would be to find a window if he were lucky. If he wanted to continue this little...check-in, he decided to call it. 

If he leaned back against the wall a bit more, he could make out the young boy's profile. Harry had to staunch a smile as Eggsy's posture had changed to match his speech, appearing more relaxed. If it was an act, it was a decent one. Harry couldn't tell from this distance and such little context whether it was or not. 

"Yeah, alright."

"Right, well. We're going down to the Tesco and Primrose. If you still don't want to be home when we get back, just give us a shout."

"Later, Eggsy." The older boys shuffled past and down the stairs, one of them boldly digging out a pack of cigarettes in plain sight that he was clearly too young to possess. From the look of them, none seemed to be bad kids at heart, but neither were they closely supervised by their older family members. Eggsy watched them go with an air of wistfulness in his blue eyes, then turned and trailed after them down the stairs, breaking away at the bottom to walk towards one of the complex's walls instead.  
The boy threw the ball against the wall this time, catching it on the bounceback. The rubber made a resentful sound against the concrete.

Harry wasn't sure whether to feel glad or sorry that he'd gotten his wish. Little Eggsy looked so bored and forlorn loitering about. Echoes of his ball sounded through the concrete complex and...well, it was rather difficult for Harry to find much joy in the way he was able to watch Eggsy now. 

After a few moments more, he slipped out of his hiding place and took the long way around back up to the Unwins' door while Eggsy still idled below. The lights were on, glowing warmly through the window, but the blinds were broken and it took little more than a glance for Harry to see that the inside had not been picked up for quite a while. He didn't spend much time outside their door and he did not pass in front of their window as he could distinctly hear voices inside, one of them familiar as Michelle. She was more animated than Harry remembered, but her voice came with a slight slur around the end of her sentences. 

He made quick work of replacing the bug and dispelled thoughts of sticking around longer. This time, however, Harry couldn't bring himself to leave without catching a glimpse of Eggsy again. Before he descended the opposite stairway, an idea came to him. He turned and, making sure Eggsy was still below and out of sight, went to the top of the stairway the boy played below. There, Harry unfolded a 50 pound note from his bilfold and placed it on the ground just out of sight to anyone passing from above. 

Again he went the long way back around to the other side of the flats, wary of even the neighbours spotting him lurking for too long. He wasn't sorry to see the money go, but again Harry found himself unable to leave once he'd found a corner where he was out of sight again and could check on the boy.  
He brought out his glasses this time, thick rimmed and studious, he'd been told on more than one occasion. The lens nearing telephoto capabilities came in quite handy. As did the recording function, which Harry was almost embarrassed to find himself activating.

It wasn't long before Eggsy grew tired of taking his frustration out on the wall and trekked back towards the stairs. If the boy hadn't predominantly been looking down at his feet, he would have missed the pound note as he climbed. Instead, he stopped mid-stride, nearly stumbling as his jaw dropped in disbelief.

Fifty pounds was more pocket money than he'd seen in his life. Surprise writ across his face, Eggsy glanced around, but no one else was in sight. Nobody looking for where they dropped their money, and no one that could witness him taking it. The boy's decision was made in a split-second; his small hand snatched up the note and stuffed it in his pocket as quickly as he could manage, and he couldn't quite help but turn and look around once more to be certain he was in the clear.

Warmth bloomed in Harry's chest and a small grin touched his lips. He remained absolutely still though, not wanting to disrupt the recording. It wasn't until Eggsy had disappeared behind the concrete wall on the way back to his door that Harry removed his glasses and tucked them into his pocket. 

He left Rowley Way that day with a lighter step than when he'd arrived and the young boy a little more firmly planted in his mind. The warm feeling in his chest stayed with him all the way back, sweetening the air and brightening the sun. Even the dull chatter of the cabbie he took held a slightly more melodious tenor. 

As he went to bed that night, Harry did not suspect this sort of thing would become a routine. Indeed it didn't, but not due to any notion on Harry's part because the very next day he and two other knights were sent off to Russia for a long term infiltration project. 

It was months before Harry returned to London, and when he did, he was scraped up badly and exhausted enough that it was several months more before the bewitching thought of the young Unwin entered his mind again. 

Harry had kept the recording safely locked up in his home computer, and it was with a slight sense of whimsy that he played it again after such a long time. He'd thought about the Unwin family while he'd been away. But it was one of those things he didn't mention to his handler even though Merlin could have easily checked in on the boy for him. The young Eggsy trotting up the unforgiving landscape of the TRA Hall seemed...somehow more hollow than it had been in his memory, and so, after not much more consideration, Harry checked to see if the audio feed was still active on the household. 

The device, and its battery, had kept. Harry's speakers came to life, and a male voice filled his ears, far too deep to be the boy's. That wasn't entirely unexpected - people moved on, people remarried regardless of how much they had cared for their previous partner - but the words filtering were.

"Look, I don't _care_ about that. I wanna know where you've hid the money."

"I-... I don't know what you mea-" Michelle's voice cut off with a sound of flesh hitting flesh - not sharp enough to have been a true blow, but a warning.

"The money. From your side jobs you get, with the birds at that salon? I need to know where you're stashin' it. Or did you drink it all away already?"

"I don't know what you-... o-ok, right, yes. Lily and Greta have given me a bit of pocket money for helping tidy up their places, 'cause they know assistance don't cover hardly anything, but I haven't got it anymore!"

"So you _did_ drink it."

" _No_. I-... we were out of food. Eggsy's already skipping breakfast every morning. His grades are starting to go."

"His marks aren't poor 'cause he's hungry, it's 'cause he's bloody thick. So you bought a bunch of rubbish health food because you think it'll sharpen him up?"

Harry had gone absolutely still. He could feel the frown tugging around his mouth as he fought the urge to close his eyes. Already he could make an educated guess as to what had happened in the last eight months or so. Harry knew she'd maintained a job at the salon since the death of her husband. He hadn't needed the bug to find that out. What public records hadn't told him, however, were the many occasions she called up her sister, crying in the middle of the night after putting Eggsy to bed. It wasn't pleasant to listen to, and so Harry often hadn't. He had found it objectively understandable though, aware that to a certain degree Michelle had fallen into depression. Harry was missing a sizeable chunk of time between then and now, but he doubted he needed the details. 

It was again Eggsy whom he thought of first, Eggsy's bright eyes flashing through his memory and settling disquiet into his gut. 

The argument continued while Harry's thoughts churned and stole his attention away. Eventually the angry man left the flat, slamming the door behind him after declaring his intent to go to the local pub, and Michelle quietly burst into tears.

After a few minutes of muffled sobs and hiccups, small feet padded across the carpet and approached. "...mum? Mum, it's ok. Was he mean to you again."

"Eggsy, darling, just go back to your room. Please." Michelle sniffed, throat still tight enough that it thickened her voice. "I'll be fine."

"But you don't look fine. Why does Tom have to come over? He's so _wrong_. Why can't we just get rid of him?"

"Eggsy... it's not that simple, luv."

"I don't understand, mum. I don't understand why you like him when he's so _mean_ to you."  
Harry's frown deepened. 

It was...strange how little Eggsy's voice had changed from what Harry remembered. He would be almost nine by now, which, Harry had to admit made perfect sense that his voice was so soft, but he'd somehow expected otherwise. Distance and time had done that. It made him suddenly overcome with the desire to see the boy again, whatever state he and his mother were in. Perhaps all the more so because of that state, but Harry could not say for sure. Concern welled within him, absolutely, and it wasn't something he was used to feeling. Something he had not felt in some time. This boy had made an impression on him.

Harry didn't turn the receiver off, even if he would rather not have listened to Eggsy's childish concern for his mother and Michelle's insistence upon shutting down the conversation when Eggsy wasn't satisfied. She tried to console him, tried to distract him, and Harry would have rather not heard a word of it at all.

* * *

The following day, Harry began to investigate who this "Tom" was. 

Much as expected, "Tom" ended up being one Thomas Brunson, a man constantly down on his luck with a history of mildly antisocial behavior, mostly involving a bad temper and damage to property or whatever person was unfortunate enough to be in close range. Tom had a job at a local small-industrial factory that didn't pay enough to sustain his taste for drink or betting on sports, which meant that his name was on the lists of a few collection agencies.

In short, someone Michelle likely met while out at a bar, looking for companionship to ease her loneliness and depression. Tom, meanwhile, likely saw an easy mark.

Quite a step down from her former husband, Harry surmised. 

It wasn't until he made a few anonymous phone calls, impersonating one of Tom's acquaintances and calling up Michelle's friends, that he found out how long they'd been seeing one another and what the official status of their relationship was. To which he found that it had been less that four months and there was no official status whatsoever. He did get an earful from one of Michelle's co-workers, however. From her familiarity with Tom, Harry concluded that this was the woman, or one of the women, who accompanied Michelle on her nights out. Harry dismissed the sister altogether. A man like Tom wasn't something Michelle would bring up to family. Especially not when Harry already knew how much the sister's judgement affected the woman. 

Whatever Tom was hanging onto Michelle for, which Harry had already found out through their conversation to be money, it was a waste of time. The man would either be gone soon enough when he realised this, or he would stick around if he were the type who liked to have a particular sort of control over the people in his life. That, Harry could understand. Although it gave him little sympathy for the man regardless. 

Harry decided to use what little vacation time he had left to investigate further. A trip back to Rowley Way was in order.

Evening had fallen by the time Harry made it to the complex. Street lamps dotted the landscape here and there, but they were few and far between, giving ample amounts of shadow useful for passing without notice. The tenements themselves stood out in the darkness, lit from within by lamps or the cold, flickering illumination of telly sets. People passed by on the walkways every now and then, going out or coming back from a bit of nightlife indulgence.

Harry had dressed down for the occasion, which still put him a step above the men he passed, just not quite so much as his usual standard would. It didn't matter. He didn't linger within sight for long. Moving along the darkened spaces where the lights along the walk had been broken beneath the hulking line of the TRA Hall, Harry arrived at Michelle's flat soon enough. He picked the lock of the service stairway and ascended to the back where the windows were open. 

From there it wasn't hard to find a perch in the darkness to watch, through the kitchen and into the living room where Eggsy had settled down. Probably at the request of his mother. Michelle, however, Harry could see better. Well enough to notice one side of her cheek was markedly redder than the other. 

Eggsy couldn't quite keep his mind on the telly. Michelle had put a movie in for him to distract him for the night, but the boy kept glancing back from the sofa at his mother, who remained in the kitchen, sorting through mail and trying to put on a brave face. From the piles on the table, it looked to be mostly bills and predatory credit offers.

Tom was nowhere in sight, which perhaps was for the best. The man was a problem, one Harry wasn't much inclined to ignore. He'd drain what little resources the family had, and men who raised hands to their partners usually extended that violence towards the children of the household sooner or later.

It didn't take long for Harry to make a decision. He needn't even call in to find Tom's home address; the man had already announced his destination earlier that night. Instead, he moved away from the flat and back down on the street before he dialled Merlin. 

With a list of local pubs, Harry was able to find the place soon enough. It wasn't Michelle's usual haunt, which had been his first try, but it still wasn't far. Only a short walk south of the tenement complex. Harry found little difference between the two, but for the burst of sound he encountered upon stepping through the rickety front doors--men's voices, caught in a tone edging between jovial and hostile, shouting between one another in the packed space. This pub was popular, but apparently only with a certain crowd. Harry gave the room a quick assessment before he slipped up to the bar, wary of blocking the door. 

Harry was still over-dressed for the establishment, but not so much as to instantly draw suspicion and hostility. Some of the men eyed him, but it was much the same as they would have given any new face. Tables were clustered with groups that looked to be regulars, each keeping to their own while those without a group packed the spaces in between. A couple of tellies mounted to the wall showed a few sports channels, drawing loud commentary from those watching.

It was a few minutes before the barkeep had any attention to spare for Harry. After he delivered the last rounds for the men who'd queued in front of Harry, he stuffed the quid into a grungy register and finally turned to take new orders. "What can I do you for, mate?"

"Whatever's dark and on tap, please," Harry didn't bother downplaying his speech. He wouldn't be there long. Having a glass in his hand would put him more at ease though, just as it would the men around him who'd noted a well dressed stranger in their presence. 

The bartender's gaze lingered but he nodded and fetched Harry his drink while Harry scanned the room, searching out a face to match Thomas Brunlow's license photograph. And mugshot. Harry hadn't forgotten about that. Nothing major, just petty theft and one or two misdemeanours, including failing to show up in court. Harry would have faced far worse if his own actions had ever made it passed Kingsman's wall of intelligence. Still, he declined to compare the two. 

He found Tom after he'd paid for his drink. The man was standing with his back turned to the room, enthusiastically engaged with a group taking up a table in the corner. 

Tom was quite animated, gesturing and smacking the back of one hand against his palm to emphasize his statements. The room was too loud to be able to make out what the discussion was at this distance, but from the expressions of the men around Tom, it was bluster they'd heard before. One of them clapped Tom on the back, while another rolled his eyes and buried his face in his drink.

The moment was interrupted by a commotion behind Harry. "You fuckin' _tosser_ ," someone snarled, and heads had just begun turning when the first blow landed. A man stumbled backwards into the crowd lined up near the bar. Packed so close, the impact rippled through the group, every falling backwards and jostling one another. One man fell back against Harry, rocking him and causing his pint to spill down his front.

Harry righted himself and rolled his eyes, suddenly thankful he had only a cashmere sweater and a light jacket to take the damage. He set the glass down at a table beside him as his plan of confrontation altered, turning back to the men and the bystanders around them who'd failed to quell the fight and were now getting pulled into it themselves. He made eye contact with one of the large men who'd run into his back. 

"Now I really think you had aught to apologize for that," Harry said just loud enough to make himself heard, cocking his head in a challenge so polite it was bound to have no other affect than to irritate the man. Which turned out to be the case as he advanced on Harry, assuming to have found an easy target.  
"Maybe you shoulda learned to get out the way," the man taunted back and Harry could have smiled. He made to shove Harry in the chest and propel him back into the room, away from the fight breaking out, but Harry caught his wrist, turned, and sent the man stumbling forward. Straight into Tom. 

Tom had only been partially paying attention, still caught up in trying to relate his story to his friends. Harry caught a glimpse of the man's eyes widening as he noticed the heavy body flying towards him, but it was too late. The impact knocked Tom into the table in front of him, tipping it and, with it, all of the groups' food and drink. Immediately, the unfortunate intruder was rounded upon by Tom and the rest of his group.

"What the bloody fuck d'you think you're doing?" They'd only gotten a few blows in when the target's friends spotted him across the room. It took a few seconds, but then they managed to squeeze through to come to his rescue.

With the ensuing conflict, three quarters of the pub now had been pulled into the fight, and Tom was in the thick of it. Harry stepped out of the way as a group of men fell to the ground beside him. He couldn't help the hint of a smile curling at his lips now. There was nothing quite like standing, untouchable, within the midst of such chaos. He didn't intend to remain that way for long, however. 

While Tom's back was turned, one of his friends having caught the man he'd just punched round the middle, Harry sent two others barrelling into their group. In the confusion he descended upon Tom, wrapping his arm around the man's throat from behind and dragging him toward the door. 

Harry was stronger than he looked - something he'd used to his advantage many a time - and Tom had already acquired a mild concussion from a couple of blows to the head. The man struggled, trying to reach back to grab whoever was behind him while pushing forward to try to get out of the lockhold, stupidly cutting off his own air. It didn't take long for him to weaken, and Harry managed to get the door open and drag him outside with no one the wiser.

He didn't slow down until they'd reached the narrow alley beside the building, Tom still unable to manage his feet while tripping over the kerb and the rubbish bins Harry pulled them behind. 

Once Harry was satisfied they were out of sight, he whirled the man around and punched him square in the face, sending him to the ground just as quickly as he'd been righted. He didn't leave the man time to linger there either. Harry grabbed him by the front of his shirt, brought him up again, and threw an elbow to his face. Harry moved on autopilot, expressionless, inflicting blow after blow to a man who could barely glimpse him through the blood pouring out his nose and the way his head was jolted back every other second as Harry's fist connected. 

Tom didn't last long. Several punches like that to the front of any man's skull and he was out. Harry felt only detached satisfaction as the man sank between him and the grimy wall one last time, delirious with pain and nearly blind. His cheek and nose were shattered. If Harry wasn't mistaken, Tom would be missing one or two teeth as well. 

Slowly Harry crouched down, leaning over his ear, careful not to dirty his jacket even further. Tom's eyelids quivered when Harry spoke calmly. "Tomorrow you are going to leave Michelle Unwin. You will not tell her why. In fact, you will never speak to her or her son again. Am I clear?"

Tom made a gurgling sound that might have been assent. It was difficult to tell, with the way his mouth was swollen. His raised hands told Harry what he needed to know, however. Tom didn't want any more trouble. Whatever he'd wanted from Michelle, he hadn't been expecting this and she wasn't worth this sort of punishment.

Tom stayed down, even when Harry straightened up, turned on his heel, and began to walk away. Harry could still hear sounds of the ruckus coming from behind the door they'd emerged from. It would be some time before Tom's friends noticed he was missing, if they even noticed tonight at all. It would be some time, too, before Tom would be able to pick himself up from where Harry had discarded him without seeing double and needing to wretch.

All in all, an efficient and remarkably satisfactory solution. Harry's knuckles still stung from the impact, and some bruising would be likely, but such was a price worth paying.

He went home that night and poured himself a stiff drink before bed, watching one more time the video of Eggsy finding the prize he'd left on the stairs.

* * *

Over the days that followed, Harry found out that Tom had indeed broken his relationship off with Michelle, sending word through one of his mates while he was in the hospital, no less, and refused to take her calls afterwards. No one else at the pub associated Harry with the mysterious assailant, nor did Tom have a decent enough description to give. All in all, things worked out well for the lot of them.  
Michelle's curiosity faded, her cheek healed, she got to keep what little money she had, and Eggsy didn't have to avoid the flat any longer. Harry's surveillance, however, increased notably. 

After a few days of listening to the idleness of their daily lives through the bug, Harry began to grow frustrated. It wasn't enough. He couldn't _see_ how the family was doing. And so, two weeks later, while Michelle had taken her son out to visit her sister, Harry arrived at her doorstep again. 

One of the perks of being a Kingsman was that, so long as they fulfilled their duties and didn't draw untoward attention, very little judgment was passed on what the members chose to do in their leisure time. Or what supplies they used for it, so long as it was nothing irreplaceable. Harry spend the day cleverly wiring the flat for both audio _and_ video, with no corner spared. If there was more surveillance in Eggsy's room by far, with many more cameras to show multiple angles, no one was going to comment. More than likely because no one, aside from Harry, would ever know.

As efficient as he was, it still took the better part of two hours for Harry to connect the cameras into the electrical system and hide everything to his personal degree of paranoia. The Unwins would be home at any minute, so Harry didn't linger longer than he had to. He was eager to get home and test his work, somewhat frustrated that he didn't have Merlin on the other end to test it immediately and inform him of whatever issues or skewed angles needed to be fixed. Doing this sort of thing by himself was invariably a much more time consuming process. 

When Harry did arrive back home in Kensington another good forty minutes later through traffic, he found that he'd done a very decent job on the first go. Every section of the small flat was in focus, and every corner of Eggsy's room covered. Satisfied, Harry made a plate of sandwiches and brought a glass of wine up to his office, settling down at the desk to work and keep an eye on his new...'side project', he decided to call it. 

The Unwins were in much higher spirits now that Tom had exited their life. Michelle was still struggling, and Harry didn't miss the bottles of cheap alcohol she secreted in the cabinet from their quick grocery stop on the way home, but Eggsy looked more upbeat. Bored, in the way that children that age often were when forced to socialize with relatives, but no longer quietly angry or carrying a slightly defensive hunch to his shoulders. Michelle handed him his treat for the night from the grocery bags - two candy bars and a small pack of sodas - and the boy promptly retreated to his room, having had enough interaction with adults for one day.

Eggsy set the soda pack on the floor and then promptly flopped across his bedspread. He dug his Game Boy out while he ripped one candy bar wrapper open with his teeth. The model wasn't particularly fancy or new, gotten at one of the secondhand electronics stores on the cheap, but Eggsy treasured it. His mum never bought nice things, and yet she'd scraped together enough to gift him that for his birthday. The screen was a bit scratched, but it was _his_.

Harry's attention was transfixed. The pen in his hand hovered over his ledger for a good several minutes before he thought to lower it and turn himself fully to the monitor screen. He couldn't help it. The camera he'd installed in the ceiling fan picked up the perfect angle and when zoomed in enough, he could see Eggsy's face perfectly over the game in his hand. 

This was.... This was far better than spying upon the boy from across the yard of the complex, with such distance between them that Harry only caught glimpses of him close up through the glasses. And here Eggsy was relaxed in a way he had not been while playing outside, even when Harry had seen him on his own. 

Eggsy worked his way through one candy bar as he played, pausing once to wriggle a bit further up the bed until he was propped against some pillows and more comfortable. Eyes locked onto the small screen and tapping away at the buttons, Harry could clearly make out the small smile that graced the boy's face. A smile that was broken as his tongue darted out in concentration.

Eggsy's face had changed. The few years since Lee had died had subtly shifted his features, but all that had done was make the boy all the more striking.

Harry took a sip of wine. Then another. He recognised where this train of thought was going and held fast against it. Truth be told though, he had to admit the feeling had been a silent presence in the back of his mind for...a while now. Harry did not often check up on the families of dead colleagues, even ones who had saved his life and were now left out on their own. Neither did he go out to seek vengeance upon those few individuals who threatened such families. 

It...disturbed him that little more than seeing the way Eggsy's small teeth caught his bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth had been Harry's motivation for putting a man in the hospital. He rather enjoyed putting that man in the hospital. The issue wasn't so much _why_ he had been swayed to do it either, Harry admitted to himself. He did quite like thinking of Eggsy and...well, he didn't have to regret that in his own mind. The issue was that he had been swayed to action at all. Period. 

The boy shifted again, legs splaying out, and that was enough to derail Harry's thoughts a little more. Eggsy was completely unselfconscious and relaxed in what he thought was the privacy of his own room, and the arch of empty space between his legs threw into sharp relief just why this boy had prompted such reactions in his favor, unlike the loved ones of other ex-associates.

Eggsy looked _inviting_ , like a work of art that possessed sensatory qualities beyond merely the visual. His was an aesthetic that begged to be touched and possessed. 

Harry put down his glass and ran a hand over his face. His breath came out in a deep sigh before his fingers parted and he peered through to the screen again. He was a grown man, well past the hormonal years of his youth. He should be beyond this. And yet he couldn't look away. 

Harry didn't have many qualms about covert surveillance anymore. If he did, he was certainly in the wrong line of work. But he knew that if he allowed himself to be sucked into this budding...feeling, edging far too close to desire, watching Eggsy like this would soon turn from enticement to torture. The boy was beautiful, laid out for Harry to see. And Harry was certain he would see much, much more while Eggsy moved through his daily routine, but by the very nature of covert surveillance, he was still cut off from the boy. 

Truthfully, Harry would rather Eggsy never know what he had done for the boy, leaving him cash and removing Tom from his life. It would seem too much like pity, and Harry had to admit that partially it was. But then again, if pity was only the half of it, the other half was not any more principled. 

Almost as if summoned by the thought, Michelle knocked on Eggsy's door, startling the boy out of his focus. "Eggsy, luv, it's almost time for bed. Don't forget to brush this time, I don't want to hear complaints from the dentist next time you're in."

Eggsy rolled his eyes, pausing the game and setting it aside. "Yes, mum." He slid off the bed and, to Harry's intrigue and frustration, grabbed onto the hem of his shirt and pulled the garment off over his head before walking over to the room's small dresser. A drawer was opened, and pyjama pants found, and the rest of the boy's clothes began joining the shirt he'd tossed carelessly onto the floor.

Harry cursed under his breath and leaned against the desk as though he were about to turn away. But he didn't. He kept staring, even switching to a camera mounted within a loosened panel of the dresser with one of its screws missing and carved away for an eye hole. The range was a bit limited, but not so much when combined with the camera mounted behind the freshly painted plaster of the wall and tucked just below a particularly vulgar poster. 

Harry watched with one hand on the keyboard and the other wrapped tightly around the stem of his wine glass as Eggsy unselfconsciously revealed more and more bare skin. 

Eggsy leaned awkwardly against the dresser, stripping one sock off, then the other, before he straightened and his hands drifted to the waistband of his trousers. The button and zipper were undone, and both trousers and pants were sliding down his narrow hips all at once. Eggsy was still thin for a boy his age, but not gaunt from neglect. The slight angles of his hipbones drew Harry's eye downward, and every inch of his skin looked soft and perfectly smooth. His small cock completed the picture, perfectly proportioned for his frame and reminiscent of the flushed youth so popular in the classical paintings of old.

That perfect moment vanished all too quickly. In another second, Eggsy had stepped into his pyjama pants and tightened the drawstrings. Covered again from the waist down, the boy opened his bedroom door and walked towards the bathroom to do as his mother had asked.

Harry closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a breath of air. 

He was not going to do this. His was not going to let himself get worked up over a _child_ so far out of his reach he might as well toss his computer out the window. Harry did not want to subject himself to that kind of pining. 

Except. Except that he didn't yet feel the sting of it. He'd checked in on the family now for a couple years, but Eggsy was still new and alluring and Harry didn't need more than that right now. Listening to Eggsy's small voice over the last two weeks and just now seeing him as though Harry were a fly on the wall...well, it was nice. And like it or not, Harry had grown attached. 

With that, he drained the glass of wine and went to get ready for bed himself, trying to ignore the heaviness between his legs.

* * *

Time, as usual, passed too quickly, except for the days Harry spent away from his surveillance. He tested himself and the new spark of attachment, denying himself access to the audio and video feeds in order to prove that he was in control and unaffected, then taking a look into Eggsy's life once he felt he'd denied himself long enough. Long enough tended to be once every week or so, until duty called once more and, swept up in the danger and excitement of two missions in succession, a few months passed.

Harry didn't have many spare moments with which to dwell upon anything but the tasks at hand, but when he did, he found his thoughts turning back to the boy and the few memories he had.

When he finally returned home for a few days, he forwent making excuses altogether before tapping back into the surveillance of the Unwin household.

With it being late on a weekday, he found Eggsy in his room, likely having been told to do homework he was avoiding in favour of his gameboy. The sight of the young boy sprawled atop his bed was satisfying enough that it took Harry a good fifteen minutes before he checked the rest of the flat and realized that the family was not alone. 

Wrapped up with Michelle on the couch was a stocky man with dirty blond hair. The pair were watching something mindless on TV and seemingly engrossed in it. The man had his arm around her and she had tucked her knees up on the couch to turn into him. And Harry did not like it. 

The feeling came upon him so unexpectedly. He had barely felt anything but detachment and purpose when Tom was so briefly in the picture. But now he found a bitter taste in his mouth at the idea of another man intruding on the lives of the Unwin family. Again. 

Intruding, but not disrupting. At least at first glance. Michelle lacked the drawn look about her eyes that had been present when Tom was in her life. No visible marks on her could be seen, and the flat looked moderately clean and well-stocked. Whoever this was, he had come into the picture while Harry was away on work.

Michelle snuggled closer during a tense moment on the programme they were watching, and Harry saw the man's hand squeeze her shoulder, prompting another flicker of discontent. It was a feeling he couldn't pinpoint the source of. Was he irritated because, having watched and touched the lives of both family members from afar, he now regarded them as his? Or was it that this man, whoever he was, saw and interacted with Eggsy daily and might someday become an important figure in the boy's life?

Michelle glanced at the man and smiled, and Harry didn't stay to watch. He moved the feed back to Eggsy's room instead and kept it there as Eggsy went about his nightly routine. He couldn't stay away this time. Every few minutes, when he had gone to do the laundry or left the room for any reason, he returned shortly to check on the family. And Eggsy in particular. 

The boy stayed in his room. It was obvious to Harry as it no doubt was to Eggsy that his mother was having some comfortable alone time with her new friend, and Harry still suspected Eggsy was pretending to either be working or asleep even though his lights were on. 

It took an hour or two more for Harry's instinctual hostility toward the man on Michelle's couch to wan. He still wasn't happy about the man's presence, but every time Harry switched back to them he seemed attentive and she seemed happy. 

Eggsy gradually tired of the ruse and grew more confident that his mother wasn't going to be checking up on him anytime soon. He glanced at the door, then got out of his chair, careful to make as little noise as possible. He crawled under his bed, moving aside some of the storage boxes before finding the one he wanted and pulling it out.

The top came off, and Eggsy began taking his treasures out, one by one. Glossy sports magazine featuring popular football players. A toy gun with a container of plastic pellets. A fancy pocket knife. A book on Star Wars, packed with information and photos to allow the reader to sink into a fantasy universe. Item after item was set out to be admired, far more than he could have afforded from whatever pocket money Michelle might give him, and it was doubtful she gave him any at all. More than the boy could have bought with the fify pound note he'd been gifted so long ago.

Either the boy was being spolied by someone else in his life that Harry hadn't noticed, or he'd found a way to make money on the side... or he'd been stealing.

A snort of amusement left Harry before he caught it. He couldn't believe he'd missed such a thing, but then again...he had been trying to limit his spying after all. He knew there were places Eggsy went where Harry hadn't followed--gymnastics practice for one. Still, he had not expected this. 

He watched Eggsy go through one of the magazines, laying on his stomach. His shirt rode up as he turned over and Harry got a very nice view. 

It struck him as a little strange, just how much he got out of watching the boy do essentially nothing from day to day. It was...nice, feeling almost as though he and the boy were in the same room, so long as he didn't remember they weren't. It made him often wonder how he would look at the boy if they _were_ in the same room, even doing nothing, simply engaged in their own affairs.

Eggsy paused on one particular page in the magazine. He'd been moving so steadily that the sudden stop drew Harry's attention more closely.

Spread out across both glossy pages was a full color photo of the entire team of Manchester United. Rather than a formal team photo, with all of the men decked out in their official kits, this was a bit more candid. And also full of bare skin, a step away from the standard for promotional photos. Every man wore a colorful set of swim trunks, playfully horsing around with one another or standing ankle-deep in seawater. 

Harry raised an eyebrow. As though there were a chance that anyone would see the expression. He watched as Eggsy lingered, half expecting the boy to move on after another moment, but he didn't. So Harry bent closer. He moved to another camera mounted in the headboard of the bed so he could see the boy's face. Eggsy looked...lost in thought, almost blank but for the focus he gave the photograph.  
Harry bit his lip, knowing what he wanted this to mean, but unsure if he dared jump to that conclusion. After all, the boy was barely 9. 

Minutes ticked by, and still Eggsy didn't move on. From cross-referencing the cameras, Harry could even see what he was looking at - the way the boy's eyes lingered, moving over the sight of toned stomachs, broad shoulders, even the way the water-soaked trunks clung to the men's flesh underneath. Harry didn't miss the way Eggsy's dazed, thoughtful expression gained a flush of color, turned to confusion, then slid into horror.

The magazine was suddenly pushed away and Eggsy ducked his head, running fingers through his own hair before gripping it tight. Eggsy's breathing quickened. He stood and snatched the magazine up, looking for a moment like he was going to bin it, or perhaps rip the offending pages out. After another glance and a long moment of hesitation, the boy tucked it back into the box, then began to bury it underneath the rest of his stolen treasures.

Harry sat back, letting out a stunned breath. He knew it was perhaps poor detective work to be so certain so early, but was he ever ready to conclude Eggsy's interest in the magazine was exactly what he thought it was. If his mind wasn't quite there yet, another part of him certainly was and Harry had to adjust himself in his trousers. 

It didn't help. 

Harry went to bed that night with thoughts of the boy's pink tinged cheeks and pert arse laying atop his bed. He imagined Eggsy shifting his hips into the comforter while he'd looked at that magazine. Harry imagined what it would be like to have been in that room with him, touch him, to run a hand over Eggsy's small thigh, up and over his little arse. And Harry couldn't help wrapping a hand around himself as he thought about it. He came with visions of Eggsy's small teeth biting his lip in pleasure and his legs spread wider on the bed than they had been that night, just wide enough for Harry to press between. 

He went to work the following morning without guilt.

* * *

After another day or two, Harry made the decision to see Eggsy again. This time in person. 

Morning wasn't an option. Eggsy had school and, despite the evidence of a tendency for petty theft, Harry had not yet noticed the boy making a habit of shirking off school. Which meant he had several hours in which to stew, imagining how the encounter might go and what Eggsy might be up to in the classroom.

When two hours after noon passed, Harry left for Rowley Way. He arrived with plenty of time to get to a vantage point, letting him observe without being seen. 

Eggsy exited public transit right on schedule, walking the short way back to the flat with a heavy bookbag slung over one shoulder.

Harry watched the boy jog up the stairs, mulling over the fact that there was something vaguely lewd about school uniforms. It was in the cut of the clothing, even though uniforms were all off-the-rack, or perhaps the implied untouchability was the key. Eggsy disappeared inside the flat, doubtless going to his room to change, and Harry felt a smile touch his lips at the thought of going over the recordings later.

After a few minutes Eggsy returned, waving away the comments Michelle shouted at him as he left. The rubber ball made a reappearance, and soon enough Eggsy set up to play a game of catch with himself, throwing the toy against a nearby wall to work off some of the energy he generated being pent up at school that day. 

Harry watched and carefully set his own posture, book in hand and seated at one of the few courtyard benches. Eggsy had noticed him of course. Harry made sure he sat far too close for the boy to dismiss him. The trick was to keep his distance just enough so that the boy wouldn't be intimidated by playing in front of a stranger. He had to remain just out of reach for just long enough for Eggsy to get comfortable with him there. Comfortable enough for Harry to unleash his ploy, no pun intended. 

It was barely ten minutes later, when Eggsy had given up the ball in favour of doing...distinctly eye-catching handstands against the wall, where his shirt would fall down to his belly button and ride the rest of the way to his shoulders before he had to turn over just so he could see, that Harry discreetly let one hand fall to the leash beside his thigh. Deftly, he unhooked it and gave a nudge to the little shaggy figure lying obediently upon the grass. Mr. Pickle looked up at him, excited, but also bewildered. Harry raised his brows and gave a jerk of his head, and the dog was off. 

Eggsy was startled out of his concentration by the sound of excited barking. His head turned and he toppled over, one leg hitting against the concrete. The boy cried out, but got back up to his feet quickly, straightening his clothing and looking with disbelief at the small, furry body cavorting in circles around the grounds. The older man that he had noticed before was whistling in vain to call the dog back; squirrels were infinitely more interesting than discipline. The canine took off down the path, turning into the greener area between Rowley and Ainsworth.

Eggsy caught a look at the older man's expression and made a split-second decision. He took off running after the dog, the slight limp from his banged up shin disappearing as Eggsy found his focus. 

Harry watched with delight as a blur of a child rushed past him. 

Mr. Pickle was already down at the other side of the courtyard and making his turn back to tear down the opposite direction. Harry gave another whistle and a shout, knowing they would do no good. Mr. Pickle had never been taught to heel to either such common call. When he saw Eggsy sprinting toward him, however, the dog was more than eager to play. 

And so began a merry game of chase. For such a small dog with short legs, Mr. Pickle was remarkably fast. Eggsy wasn't lacking in speed either, fortunately, and while it was a bit more difficult to catch an animal so close to the ground, Eggsy had the advantage. He knew the territory far better than Mr. Pickle did, wasn't too far away from the ground himself, and most importantly... did not get suddenly distracted by interesting new smells.

After a few minutes of running, Mr. Pickle failed to notice Eggsy circle around to flank him and took quite a fancy to the scent markings on a nearby tree at the most inopportune moment. His ears perked at the sound of footsteps nearby, but he failed to react in time to jump out of the arms suddenly encircling him as Eggsy pounced. "Gotcha!"

Harry caught up with them just in time, coming to a swift halt just out of reach of the boy and his dog. He didn't have to fake a single ounce of the delight upon his face. "Oh thank _goodness_." Harry righted his glasses upon his face as though they'd been knocked askew by his quick jog over. "I don't know how you caught him; he never listens to me and I can't get within arm's length of him when he's in a mood to romp." Clear blue-green eyes met him and Harry almost lost his breath. He had to catch it, although that certainly worked in character, but he couldn't help the small smile that drew at his mouth either. 

"Romp, huh?" Eggsy flashed him a smile. Getting back to his feet was tricky with a wriggling ball of fur in his arms. "What brings you out all the way out 'ere, huh? I've never seen you before and I know pretty much everyone in the Hall. And nobody says 'romp' around here, not like that."

Eggsy paused, looking Harry up and down. Harry wasn't dressed to his usual standards, but even such casual wear had been tailored to fit. Eggsy's gaze caught for a split second, and if Harry hadn't been watching so closely and so well-trained at spotting tells and micro-expressions, he might have missed it. "...are you lost or somethin'?"

Harry gave a small, self deprecating laugh and inclined his head. "No, I'm afraid not. Just visiting an old friend, Mr. Garner up the walk, though he seems to be running rather late today." Mr. Pickle squirmed in Eggsy's arms and tried to lick the boy's face, so Harry took that opportunity to crouch down at their level and give the dog a pat on the head. "He rather likes you I think. Name's Mr. Pickle. Ah, not mine, that is. The dog." Harry raised his brows in minute embarrassment. "My name is Harry. And you, my young dog-catcher, are rather astute, aren't you?"

Eggsy had been leaning backwards from the dog's affections and nearly lost his balance again at the sudden appearance of a hand on the dog's head, and the accompanying closeness of Harry's presence. The boy's eyes widened. For a split second, part of him wondered whether this 'Harry' was an undercover bobby before he dismissed the notion as ridiculous. The Met didn't recruit from the ranks of the posh, at least not for positions that were going out on the street, and there was nobody worth busting at his flat complex. If he was going to get caught, it would be while in a store doing a bit of boosting, and not with some policeman sneaking around itching to arrest him over some stolen knick-knacks and candy.

"I... um." Eggsy flushed, the corners of his mouth turning down in embarrassment. "Don't know what astute is. And what kinda name is Pickle for a dog? Is that his favorite food or somethin'?"

"Ah, well, that's a bit of a story. Mainly because Fluffy, Spot, Rufus, and Waddlesworth were already taken. I really couldn't think of much else on the spot." Harry shrugged at the boy's look of utter bewilderment. "And when I say you are astute, I mean you are apt, intelligent, discerning, even 'crafty', if you will." Harry gave the boy another small smile and raised his brow, catching his attention firmly with the ambiguity of the word. "You'd have to be in order to catch this little fellow. Isn't that right, Mr. Pickle?" That little addendum would explain away Harry's deliberately inquisitive, flattering, even bordering on flirtatious, air. If Eggsy thought on such things later. Which Harry suspected he most certainly would. 

With that, Harry dusted off his trousers and drew himself up to his feet. "Once again, I really must thank you."

"Not a problem, really." Eggsy was still reeling from being praised as intelligent. His mother clucked such things over him, of course, but that was mothers for you. Eggsy suspected she would say as much even if he was dumb as a rock, which some of his teachers seemed inclined to believe. "Seemed like you was gonna have trouble running him down. He's pretty quick."

All at once, Eggsy realized that he was still holding the dog in question. He glanced down at the ground, thought better of setting Mr. Pickle down, then gave Harry a questioning look. "You got his leash?"

"Ah, yes." Harry slid his hand into his pocket as though he'd nearly forgotten himself. Deliberately, he shifted his hips a little with the motion and watched out of the corner of his eyes as Eggsy's attention followed. Harry produced a slim, leather leash and bent to hook it at Mr. Pickle's collar. It left him fairly towering over the boy, even when Harry made an effort not to and that was difficult to avoid...noticing. He could have picked Eggsy up right then, just as easily tossed the boy over his shoulder. Harry could toss a good many people over his shoulder, but regardless, this child was enrapturing in his small stature. Harry made sure, however, to downplay the emotion into a subtle fondness. "Thank you," Harry said kindly as the boy bent and set Mr. Pickle down on the ground again, excitedly pulling at the tether after his run. 

"It was nothin'. Really." Eggsy was still wary, but a spark of curiosity had entered his eyes as Harry had stopped towering over him and bent to set his dog on the ground. Harry was strange and unfamiliar, at least in terms of the sorts of people Eggsy encountered on a daily basis. He wasn't like any of Eggsy's neighbors, or any of the kids or staff at his school. His accent, his way of speaking, even his way of _moving_ was different. "So, uh. Mr. Garner, huh. How do you know him? Just, y'know, he doesn't seem the sort."

"Well..." Harry began to make his way back to the bench, but he gestured for Eggsy to walk with him. It was casual, the way Eggsy followed his stroll and how easily conversation came to the boy. He may not have been used to people like Harry, but it was obvious Eggsy was used to talking with people around the complex. "No, I suppose he doesn't, does he? It's true we don't have a lot in common, just a couple old friends some years ago. That's what the marines will do to you, I fear, leave you with not much but what you had to start with and a few less friends on the way back." Harry affected a lighthearted shrug. He was edging into some heavy territory and needed to be careful. 

"I didn't know he knew anyone in the forces." Eggsy mulled over this information, turning thoughtful. When he resurfaced from his contemplation, he watched Harry more closely, looking for signs that he was a veteran - a limp, a scar, a clipped gait, anything that might give him away. A tense set had entered the boy's own shoulders as he trailed along behind Harry, staying just out of reach. "My dad was. In the forces, I mean. Nobody will tell me what he did, just... that he got packed off on some hushed up mission and died a hero."

Harry turned to give the boy a look and raised his brows. "That's a bit peculiar. Sounds like he might have been onto something rather important, although you look like you might have suspected as much already." Harry would rather not smother the boy with seemingly uninformed sympathy. Their stroll had slowed considerably. Harry didn't want to arrive back at the bench and have to sit awkwardly before Eggsy bid his goodbyes and Harry waited for a man who wouldn't return from his business trip for another week yet. Harry pressed on only gently. "Must have happened some time ago then?" 

"Yeah." Eggsy's sneakers scuffed at the concrete walkway. He swayed on his feet, then jammed his hands into his pockets, trying to adopt a tough air to dispel the awkwardness of the conversation. Eggsy had had too many people give him false sympathy or worse, _pity_ , when they found out one of his parents was gone. "Couple years ago. I don't remember him real well. Just pieces, and stories my mum's told me. I got his medal but it doesn't match anything I've seen in books, so who knows. Doesn't matter in the end, really, because whatever it was for, it still ends with him dyin' on me and mum."

"Hm." Harry gave a single nod and sat down on the bench as they arrived. He leaned back with one arm spread over the bench Mr. Pickle obediently settling down at his feet. Harry gave the boy an appraising look. "Perhaps you'll do better someday. I saw those handstands." With the inflection in his tone and a pointed gaze, Harry made it clear that he was impressed. And also that he was willing to change the subject. Having this little, broken bit of conversation would come in handy later on, but that was enough for now. Harry put on a pleasant front and a curious nod of the head. "What else can you do?"

Eggsy's reaction was instantaneous. Red colour rushed through his cheeks up to his ears, and he shrugged. "Oh. I... y'know, stuff. Some of the older blokes have taken me down t'the park every now an' then, to go toss a ball around. I've gotten pretty good with catching ricochet shots against the wall, too. I've tried some flips and stuff, but people keep telling my mum and she yells that I'm gonna break my head open, so I don't try that as much anymore."

"No? Well just don't do it over concrete and you'll be fine. Look here, plenty of grass; most of it's a bit soggy even!" Harry let his mouth draw into a smile when he caught the boy fighting one of his own. "Go on, show me something. I've got time to kill and I won't keep you long if your mother's expecting you back." Mr. Pickle gave a huff of a bark, sensing Harry's enthusiasm and it only seemed to add to the entreaty. Harry let more of his affection seep into his gaze, noticing the way Eggsy had a hard time meeting his eyes. 

"I... I dunno..." Eggsy shifted, unsure of what to do. Being noted by adults and praised was something he longed for, but it was one thing to want that with his mother, or his teachers, or his neighbors and older friends. Harry was a complete stranger, in more ways than one; from his accent, it was likely he lived in a completely different part of London that may as well have been another country. There was no reason for him to take interest in a random boy, even if it was one who'd done him the favour of catching his dog. Eggsy became even more uncertain as a thought occurred: maybe Harry just wanted a laugh, wanted him to embarrass himself. Enough kids had done it before that it didn't seem out of the question that a stranger might want to tease him into acting the fool so he could have a bit of a laugh. "I'm really not that good, honest."

Harry fixed the boy with a look of mock seriousness. "Really," he deadpanned. When Eggsy just looked up at him from underneath pale lashes and an indescribably delicate pout, Harry had to tear his gaze away. Instead he sighed and cast his eyes skyward. "Alright then. If that's the case...." Deftly, he tied Mr. Pickle's leash to the arm of the bench and climbed to his feet. Eggsy stepped back in confusion, especially when Harry unbuttoned the tweed jacket he wore and laid it over the bench before loosening his cuffs. He gave the boy a challenging quirk of his brow for good measure. "How about this. If you can't beat me, then I'll concede." And with that, he rolled his shoulders and tipped himself upside down to walk on his hands across the indeed mushy grass.

Eggsy watched, his jaw progressively dropping further as Harry stripped his jacket off, bared his arms, and inverted himself. Not only was the stunt entirely unexpected from an adult, and a posh one at that, but the very novelty of it caused Eggsy to stare.

It didn't help that Harry's waist was now eye level, or that his now-bared arms shifted and bunched as he moved with toned muscle that hadn't been apparent underneath his jacket sleeves.

Harry kept going, balanced the whole way until he reached the other side of the grassy patch and righted himself again. When he turned with a smile and the slight quirk of a brow, Eggsy bristled. He'd been picked on too many times by kids at school from families with better means, heard too many despairing comments from his mother about the Tories and rich people in government making common folks suffer. He wasn't, _couldn't_ be shown up by this complete stranger, especially right outside his own flat. It didn't matter that nobody else was watching, Eggsy would know and remember.

The boy shot Harry a defiant look and, after a second, flipped over onto his palms and began to follow Harry's trail across the grass, if a bit more wobbly than the older man had done it.

"There you go!" Harry called, brushing his hands off before planting them at his hips. 

He couldn't keep the smile off his face, not when Eggsy was walking toward him upside down like that, awkward over the sodden grass, but every step determined. The boy's shirt was sliding down again, and Harry caught more than a flash of lean, pale skin before Eggsy finished in front of him and tipped over again, feet plopping with a squelch down on the ground. 

Harry made a point of bending over and looking a little more winded than he actually was. "You thought I was having a laugh at you, didn't you?" Harry leveled his gaze with Eggsy's haughty one. "I assure you, I'm not."  
Eggsy crossed his arms, heedless of the damp and soil that rubbed off onto his shirt. "How come, then? I mean, you wanted to see me do it for a reason. Tryin' to make me fall on my arse seems pretty likely t'me." The boy shifted, his eyes darting and taking in Harry's state. Harry was closer again, the smile from earlier not quiet gone as he caught his breath. Or pretended to. "Gotta say, I didn't think you could do it neither. Older people usually aren't that flexible and such. Is that a soldier thing?"

Harry clicked his mouth shut and adjusted his glasses. "I'm not _that_ old," he sniffed. "I wanted you to do it because you'd done it before and for some reason the idea of doing it in front of someone else gave you pause." Harry reached out and clapped the boy on the shoulder as he strolled back to the bench. "You shouldn't be intimidated by me, Eggsy. You don't even know me, so what does does it matter? If you can do something well, don't let someone else's judgement stop you."

"Yeah, well, you can say that 'cause you're not in school. Nobody's going to mess with a soldier," Eggsy sniffed. After a moment's hesitation, he followed Harry back towards the bench where Mr. Pickle sat and watched, tail thumping happily against the ground. "Doesn't matter if you don't know people or not. People get mean. Sometimes even people you know."

That brought Harry up short. He gave the boy a look. "Yes, I suppose they do." With a little more care, he sat back down and fixed his gaze on the boy. "I'd rather not presume to tell you what to do with your life either." He had Eggsy's attention now. Harry knew it. And that meant it was time for him to go. No conditional added onto the end of that statement. No more 'life lessons' or bits of coincidence for the boy. Harry glanced down, eye catching on his watch and his mouth pulled into a frown. He looked back up to Eggsy and sighed. "But I'm afraid I ought to see what's become of my old friend. And I shouldn't keep you any longer."

Eggsy frowned for a split second before nodding. The strange visitor was out of place, and a bit irritating at times, but he didn't seem to mean it when he was. _And_ he was interesting, more so than some of the other visitors his neighbors got. An ex-soldier was a step above the usual patrons of the local pubs, or new mates that came over during football matches. "...yeah. Probably time for me to go in anyway."

With that, Eggsy started to walk off. It was only after catching a glimpse of Harry's expression, slightly disapproving, that the boy paused. "Right. Um, cheers. And good luck with Mr. Garner."

Harry gave a little wave back. "Thank you, on Mr. Pickle's behalf as well." 

With that, Eggsy trod off and Harry stood, making a show of gathering his coat and the dog's leash. He took one last look at the boy, he really couldn't help it, before making his way vaguely in the direction of one Jeffrey Garner's door, ostensibly to see if the man had returned while Harry had been distracted. Once he was far enough out of sight, however, Harry dropped the act. 

He left the complex and made it all the way to the street before he had to stop and take off his glasses, rub at his temple, and wonder just what the hell he was doing. He allowed himself five seconds worth of visible fatigue and then righted his posture and schooled his expression. The adrenaline and the turmoil inside his head, however, did not dissipate. 

That night, Harry saved the footage he'd taken to his home computer and brought up the feeds to the Unwin household like he had done often enough days prior. It felt stranger now, having interacted with Eggsy face to face, to see his inner world again. Not that it stopped Harry. 

A quick rewind showed standard scenes of domesticity - Michelle bustling around in the kitchen, a dinner gathering, and Eggsy retreating to his room with a backpack slung over one shoulder. Surprisingly, the boy hadn't immediately defied Michelle's insistance that he do his homework first; Eggsy spread out atop his bed rather than using the desk in one corner, plugging away at his maths without showing any signs of struggle.

Far more interesting than Eggsy's effortless maths skill was the hem of his shirt. Rucked up from when he'd slid backwards on the bed, a line of pale skin was visible just above the waistband of his trousers, offering a small glimpse of the curved dip of the boy's spine.

Harry slid down in his seat, trying and failing to tear his eyes away from the sight. How easily he could remember being so close to that swath of skin just hours prior. Just before Eggsy's curious, cautious eyes locked on him and made Harry feel ten times lighter. Light enough to walk on his hands. Now, however, all he could feel was a particular sort of longing in his gut, warm and very persistent. His hand went to his temple again as he watched the boy. As minutes ticked by, Harry grew more comfortable just watching again. Seeing Eggsy in living colour had been worlds apart from this, but this was a moment of quiet for the boy, with no one else watching him. No one to guard against.

Eggsy finished with his homework and tossed the book aside, rolling over to stare at the ceiling for a long moment. A thoughtful, slightly guilty look passed across his features, and after a glance at the bedroom door, he rolled off the bed. He grabbed the nearby desk chair and wedged it under the door handle before he returned and stooped to retrieve the box underneath his bed.

Something new was in it this time. Battered from being paged through too many times, the date on the magazine was from a few years ago. It was also, _undeniably_ , one that was marketed towards women from the large font declaring the publication to be Playgirl Magazine. More than likely, Eggsy had lifted it from some stash his mother kept in the house, or from some girl at school, rather than risk being caught shoplifting an item that would raise uncomfortable questions.

Harry found himself drawing closer to the screen. Eggsy was no longer a passive recipient of his gaze as the boy climbed back up on the bed. The strangeness Harry had felt watching the boy just minutes ago now that they had met again dissipated completely with his renewed interest. Harry flipped from one camera to another until the boy settled and Harry could see both his face and the magazine. He needed to know what Eggsy was looking at almost more than he desired to see the way Eggsy looked himself while doing so. Almost. It was compulsive, that need to know. 

Eggsy completely skipped the articles, concentrating on the photographs with a strange intensity. The more he flipped through, glancing from bared chest to defined jaw to the tantilizing line of a groin cut thwarted by a strategically placed hand, towel, or thigh... the more his brows drew together. The boy's hips shifted against the bed, and immediately Eggsy gained a look of distress. One hand clamped over his mouth.

Eggsy wasn't quite at an age yet where there were expectations about flirting and dating. He wasn't old enough to be teased about finding a girl, or pressured into gaining some stories of conquests, but he was certainly old enough to have heard and seen derogatory comments about homosexuals. 

And yet here he was. And this was the second time Harry caught him doing this. If nothing else, Eggsy's look of mild distress told Harry what he needed to know of the boy's thoughts. The timing didn't escape him either. Although he could point to no certain indication that he was a factor in Eggsy's decision to bring out this magazine tonight, Harry was fully aware that his encounter with the boy earlier had been the most notable thing that had happened to Eggsy all day. It left his trousers tight and his eyes glued to the monitor, unable to look away. 

Eggsy bit at his lower lip, looking more and more guilty, but with a definite flush to his cheeks that was growing the more he glanced through the magazine. His gaze kept drifting towards the door in mild paranoia, but no footsteps could be heard on the other side. Michelle and her new boyfriend were glued to the telly, and Michelle hadn't thought to check on Eggsy yet to see if he'd done his schoolwork as asked.  
Slowly, Eggsy shifted off the bed, eyes still fixed on his impromtu barracade. When he still heard nothing, his hands drifted to his clothing, pulling his shirt over his head in one motion and fumbling at his own trousers. Layers were quickly shed, revealing a lithe form and a small, erect cock. Eggsy slid open a drawer on his desk, grabbed a small tube of hand creme, and within seconds had slid under the covers of his bed with the duvet settled over him like a tent.

" _Fuck_ ," Harry bit out the moment Eggsy disappeared. His own hand pressed over the erection between his parted thighs while he watched the covers move and held the image of Eggsy, slim and small and beautifully naked, in his mind. He switched the cameras to no avail, even the one planted in Eggsy's headboard, though it brought him closer, could only lead him to imagine what the movement beneath that duvet meant. Harry sat back and glared at the screen, willing the boy courage enough to remove the sheet. 

All in vain. Eggsy was embarrassed enough about his self-exploration and discovery. The boy needed the illusion of security that the blankets gave him, and the real security of denial should Michelle decide to check in on him and get his door open. Only his head and a bit of the magazine popped out for Harry to see once Eggsy got comfortable. It wasn't much, but for that Harry was grateful. He was getting a bit of a show, if not quite the one he wanted. 

Oblivious to the fact that he was being watched, Eggsy didn't bother to school his expressions, and the movement of the duvet was enough that little imagination on Harry's part was needed. The boy had picked one of the more artistic photos in the magazine, with the model completely nude but for the loop of a necktie caught in mid-pull as the man removed it, a table top just barely hiding everything beneath his waist. Eggsy looked everywhere, but the loop of fabric near the man's adam's apple and the blocked view near the man's hips commanded most of his attention.

Harry swallowed hard. The way Eggsy had the duvet draped halfway over his head cast part of his face in shadow, but Harry could make out enough. He squeezed himself through his trousers and his hips shifted on impulse. He hadn't planned for this to happen again, and not so soon either, but Harry couldn't resist. Not while Eggsy was doing the same, for the first time Harry had seen. Not while he could share this moment with the boy. Even if Harry was entirely unknown to him. 

He couldn't help imagine what Eggsy was thinking about. It was fairly clear from the photograph, but surely his mind must be bringing up images on its own. How easily Harry could recall the way the boy had looked at him, spoke with him, walked with him earlier that day. He could imagine how it would feel to have touched Eggsy then, not counting the brief pat to his shoulder as Harry passed. He could imagine having pulled the boy into his lap on that bench, brought him somewhere else even, just as easily as he could imagine being there in Eggsy's room now, pulling away the blanket and pressing the boy beneath him. 

The exuberance of youth was such that the moment was over all too quickly. After a few minutes of movement under the covers, quick sliding that left Harry with the image of small fingers wrapped tightly around an equally small cock. Eggsy bit his lower lip. The hidden microphones Harry had placed in the room were sensitive enough to pick up the boy's muffled whimper as he climaxed, and the gasps that followed as he caught his breath.

Eggsy stared down at the page in front of him, flushed and spent for the moment, his suspicions about himself confirmed.

Harry's moment, however, did not end there. He held that image in his mind, Eggsy's face all scrunched up in pleasure,, teeth reddening his lower lip. Harry was determined to hold onto it for a long time to come. He squeezed himself harder to stave off the desire for more. In the screen Eggsy was putting the magazine away and now, slowly, actually getting ready for bed. Harry waited until Eggsy was back under the covers with the lights out before he turned off the cameras. 

Every image he'd filed away in his memory that day came back to him. One by one he sifted through them and pulled them out to review as he unbuttoned his trousers, moistened his palm, and began stroking himself. He didn't last long after that. Not with visions of Eggsy nude and erect, shifting his hips into the bed below him, eyes as clear as they had been outside that day, not with all that passing through Harry's mind. He came into his palm with one hand braced against the desk, remembering Eggsy's gasp. It left Harry short of breath, sated. For now. But still he felt the lingering ache of wanting more.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry just managed to stay away for a week, limiting his access to the video and audio feeds in the Unwin flat as much as he could while he tried to distract himself searching for work leads and puttering around the tailoring shop. One week before the heat under his skin and the images that flashed through his mind combined to be too intolerable to endure without relief. When he couldn't take it any longer, Harry changed his clothing again to something a little less conspicuous and drove towards Rowley Way.

A week was fine, he told himself. After all, he had come to a certain kind of conclusion after speaking with Eggsy before. It was not a conclusion he'd meant to come to, but there it was all the same, mapped out in his mind just as clearly as any mission to investigate a mark. Harry would see Eggsy again. And again after that. And then probably again after. Harry did not yet want to think about an end goal to these encounters, but he knew one was forming in the back of his mind and he would dive into it all the same. That was how Harry worked and he would not settle for anything less. It was part of his ingrained caution at this point.

It was another weekday afternoon, a pleasantly mild day if a little breezy, but Harry was not bothered. Nor was Mr. Pickle, happy to accompany him out of the house. Once again, Harry posted himself at the bench in the courtyard, dog at his feet and novel in hand, and waited for Eggsy to arrive home.

About a half hour after he'd settled in, Eggsy came up the path, his book bag strapped to his back and his hands in his jacket pockets. Alone, as usual. The boy was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Harry right away. When he did, the moment was palpable; his step hitched in mid-stride as his head turned and caught sight of Harry and his dog.

"...back again, are you? Still waiting on Mr. Garner?"

Harry looked up and cast his eyes quickly over the red brick walk before him until they settled on Eggsy. "Oh, hello again." He offered the boy no more than a small pull of his mouth, but he knew his eyes would be fond all the same. "Why yes, he's promised me to arrive no later than 4:30 today." Harry paused for a moment, as though he were considering whether to shoo the boy on or not. Eggsy was already looking at him with such a narrowed, considering gaze. "If you're on your way back out again, I wonder if I might bother you for a favour later." Harry knew he would be, seeing Michelle insist day after day that her son go outside to play most afternoons.

"...yeah?" Eggsy paused, turning until he was facing Harry head-on. The tension in the boy's body was a giveaway, as was the way he stared, as if trying to see through Harry. "I'll be out later. But funny thing, that. I mean, there's not a lot of people here, so ev'ryone knows most ev'ryone else. And I have it on authority that Mr. Garner was out all last week, and ain't gonna be back this week either. Which makes it awful strange you're waiting on a man who isn't gonna show."

Harry raised a brow, unmoved. "Well if that were the case, I would be most displeased. But I have it on his authority that he will indeed be back from his trip down to Croydon by no later than 4:30 today. And if you are still suspicious, you would be most welcome to find a phone with me and we can give him a ring to be sure." Harry held the boy's gaze. He had to consciously hold back the pulse of admiration for the boy's tenacity. It appeared he had made quite an impression on young Eggsy after all, going out to investigate like that, and Harry couldn't help but be pleased. 

"He ain't at Croydon, he's all the way down at Brighton, and I overheard the lady that's lookin' after his place. Fetching his post and stuff." Eggsy shifted on his feet, halfway between a fighting stance and one that said he was ready to run. "So that begs th' question, about what you're doing here, if you're waiting on a man who isn't going to show, and you know it. You aren't a normal bloke. Not with the handwalkin' and sitting around supposedly waiting on an empty flat."

Harry gave a put upon sigh and climbed to his feet. "Come with me. No, don't look at me like that, just to the pay phone down at the other end of the walk. I believe you have been terribly misinformed." 

Harry folded the book under his arm and gathered Mr. Pickle's leash before he moved on, waiting for Eggsy to follow. The boy eyed him suspiciously. Harry refused to acknowledge it. It was a fair bit of a walk from the bench down to the centre of the hall where a pair of well used payphones awaited their arrival. Harry used the time to fiddle with his watch, discreetly punching a long series of clicks into its dials and knowing the message would be received on the other end. 

When they reached the phones, Harry looked down at the boy. "Now I don't suppose you know Mr. Garner's work number, but you'd recognize his voice, yes?"

"Yeah, I guess." Eggsy was taking far more care to stay out of reach this time than he had during their last encounter. Mr. Pickle did nothing to assuage his suspicion; if anything, he seemed to augment it. He stared at the dog sitting at Harry;'s feet before glancing back up at the man himself. "But I don't get why you want to call him if he's on holiday and traveling. If he's traveling back to see you at 4:30, like you say, you'll just prove me wrong when he shows up, won't you?"

"Firstly, he's not on holiday, he's out on business. Secondly, yes that is true, but I would rather not have to wait around here for another hour dodging suspicious looks from you all the while." Harry gave a pointed look back at the boy. Still, Eggsy's determination held. 

With that, Harry picked up the phone and dialled. A click and a ring or two later, the line connected with a familiar Scottish burr. "Operator speaking, how may I help you?" 

Harry's mouth lifted at one corner. "Yes, Jeffrey Garner please. Tell him it's Harry and..." He looked down at the boy with an inquisitive raise of his brow. 

"Eggsy," the boy supplied begrudgingly. It couldn't hurt to give the stranger his nickname, he reasoned. It wasn't like he'd be able to look up his records with that name, after all, and everyone in the complex knew him as Eggsy anyway. "An' that's not what Mrs. Bensen told me. Brighton's full of old pensioners taking up sun. Can't see what sort of business he has down there if he's retired and all."

Such was Harry's concentration on unraveling the boy's suspicions that he nearly missed the glance Eggsy gave him - or rather, his backside, sheathed in a casual pair of trousers. Almost, but not quite.

"And Eggsy," Harry told the 'operator', who thanked him politely and asked him to wait.

"Well Eggsy," Harry went on, "when you're retired you get to go into whatever sort of business you like, if it's within your means. Life would be pretty boring otherwise." Just for good measure, just to be certain, Harry slipped a hand into his pocket, glancing down at the boy while the motion drew the fabric of his trousers more tightly against his rear. Harry was not disappointed with the shift of Eggsy's eyes. 

A moment later, however, the phone clicked again and a gruff London accent sounded on the other end. "Hello, Harry?" Harry bent down and pulled the phone away from his ear so that Eggsy could lean closer and hear as well. 

"Hello Jeffrey. Sorry to bother you on your way out, but I'm afraid I've run into one of your neighbours who thinks I'm up to no good. Would you perhaps have a minute to straighten this out?" 

"Well alright then. Don't tell me you're sitting on my doorstep causing trouble now?" came the, expectedly confused but still good natured, reply. 

Eggsy hesitated before he took the offered phone, stretching the metallic cord as far as it would go so he had some space between himself and Harry. "Mr. Garner? Some bloke here says he's waiting on you. What'd you tell Mrs. Bensen? I don't think she was expectin' visitors."

Harry clasped one hand around his wrist, covering his watch. Eggsy's eyes followed the motion, but showed no further suspicion. Harry was pleased to note, in fact, a small flicker of disappointment - barely more than a micro-expression, but one that said that the boy was still in the midst of exploring his emerging sexuality and displeased at the way the motion removed a stimulating visual.

"That's Harry. An' he is in fact waiting for me. I know he's a bit posh, but whatever Mrs. Benson told you, she musta' gotten mixed up. You might want to let Harry know that I'm gonna be late though. Would you do that for me? I'm still stuck down in Croydon an' it's gonna be hell makin' it up there in time." 

Harry waited patiently, watching Eggsy's hard gaze soften a little. He fought a smile. Witnessing Merlin work his charms for Harry's benefit never failed to excite a certain amount of pride within him. Eggsy may have been just a child, but already he was proving himself more than adept at investigating his own suspicions. And for the boy to have those suspicions at all, well, Harry was impressed. 

"Okay, jus' so long as you're ok with it." The voice on the phone sounded like Mr. Garner for sure. Eggsy wasn't friends with him by any means, but he'd lived in the complex long enough to know him by sight and sound. The boy gave Harry an uncertain, anxious glance, wondering if he was about to be in trouble for mouthing off to an adult who was legitimately supposed to be there after all. "I'll tell 'im. Thanks for, y'know. Clearin' it up and all, sorry to bother you."

Eggsy handed the phone back, sheepish and apologetic. "Say's he's stuck down in Croydon and gonna be late. Sorry."

"Ah." Harry took the phone and put it to his ear. "Thank you Jeff. Yes, yes. Catch you soon. Perhaps I'll take a walk over to the tea shop down the way then. No worries." Harry thanked the man and hung up before settling upon Eggsy. The boy's posture had shrunk and his gaze now lingered somewhere upon the bricks below. 

Harry adjusted his glasses and sighed. "Oh come now," he patted the boy on the shoulder and gave Mr. Pickle's leash a tug, taking them back along the path. "I'm not offended, don't worry."

Eggsy followed, still downhearted despite Harry's words. Adults never took it well when you challenged them. "I just really thought, y'know... Haven't seen him in a while, and the lady he's got caretakin' his flat said he'd be gone another week. Just would be odd, someone waiting for someone who was never gonna show up, y'know?"

The more Eggsy thought about his mistake, the more embarrassed he became. He hadn't even been sure what he was accusing Harry of. Someone wealthy would have no need to case flats in an old complex for things to steal.

Harry softened his gaze upon the boy and paused his stride. He laid a hand on Eggsy's shoulder again, finding the action a little more comfortable, a little more direct this time. The feel of Eggsy's small frame beneath his fingertips solidified the boy in a way that Harry had longed for. "It may be disconcerting when it's directed at me, but truly Eggsy, your instincts are good. As are your investigation skills." Harry offered him a small smile. He glanced down to the end of the walk and then up at the sky, overcast. Looked like rain soon. After another pause, Harry glanced back at the boy. "You're welcome to accompany me to the shop if you'd like. Even if we did get off to a rather awkward start."

"Shop?" Eggsy glanced sideways at Harry. If he was uncomfortable with the hand on his shoulder, he said nothing, no gave any hint that he wanted to shrug the touch off. "I..."

The boy shifted on his feet. His backpack was heavy, and not exactly something he was looking forward to lugging further than his room before he could ditch it and forget about school for the night. Neither did he really know Harry, aside from some brief interaction and the embarrassment of accusing him of suspicious activity when it turned out he was doing nothing of the sort. "I dunno. I'm not really supposed to go off. Just here and school, unless I'm with some mates or somethin'."

"Ah, understandable I suppose." Harry let his hand drop and straightened. "And I suppose Mr. Pickle has had enough of a walk after all, so nevermind the favour. But if you do get sent back out and if you get stuck in the rain, you're welcome to join me down at the tea shop just round the corner there on Abbey Road. Not more than a street down, I assure you." This was the point Harry didn't enjoy. The point he had to hand over control, to leave the option of further contact securely in Eggsy's hands. For the time being. He let some of that wistfulness show in his face. 

"Um." Eggsy looked dubious still, but he gave a slight nod. "You're gonna be waiting awhile on Mr. Garner anyway. So maybe."

Part of the boy told him that he was indebted now that he'd offered a measure of offense. Michelle had raised him well enough to recognize that. Another part of him begged caution and wondered just why he was even considering accepting the offer. The man was a stranger, after all. A posh one, and a great deal older to boot. At best, he'd be boring. At worst, he could be dangerous.

Still... Eggsy shifted his gaze away, trying not to think about the problem that had kept him preoccupied for the last several days. "Anyhow, I gotta get back, so... Later, Harry." With that, he bolted, running up the stairs towards his mother's flat.

Harry waved goodbye even though the boy didn't see it, feeling a part of himself tugged after Eggsy's trainers as he went. 

"Well. What do you think of that?" He shared a look with Mr. Pickle before Harry sighed and made his way back down the long walk. He could only hope what he'd read in Eggsy's nature held out over the boy's caution and self consciousness. If not, Harry would simply have to try another way. It was a delicate balance and he considered his options all the way to the shop around the corner. 

The door chimed as he entered and Harry was pleased to see that though the cafe was small, it was not overly busy. Quaint, perhaps, and just near enough to get out of the rain should it come down.   
He ordered a drink and sat at the window with his book, Mr. Pickle curled at his feet, trying and failing to get back into the novel. 

A good number of minutes passed before a familiar silhouette approached from the street. Eggsy paused outside the shop window, glancing through the pane casually. He froze when he spotted Harry where he was seated at a back table, his spine stiffening further still as Harry glanced up and Eggsy knew he'd been seen. In response, Eggsy brushed through the door, ignoring the bell that rang and the quizzical look from the barista as he made his way back towards Harry's table.

"Hey... so." Eggsy sat down just so he wouldn't draw more attention than he already had. The motion didn't help; if anything, the boy was visibly tense and nervous, ready to bolt at any moment.

Harry smiled and set down his book. "Well hello. Glad you came by after all." He caught the flash of blue-green eyes Eggsy shot his way. This was a little more intimate, sitting across from one another in a cafe like this. Outside the breeze was picking up and Harry could tell the drizzle would come down any minute now. "Why don't you go and order something? On me." At Eggsy's second wary glance Harry shooed him toward the counter. "Go on." 

Eggsy finally got to his feet and went, flushed with embarrassment. He didn't know whether Harry had guessed exactly how poor his family was and how little pocket money he had, but it may very well have been apparent from his clothing and where they lived. The girl behind the counter smiled as she took his order for a hot chocolate, and Eggsy returned with red-tinged ears.

"Dunno why you bother talkin' to me, really. I can't be more interesting than your soldier mate." Mr. Pickle scooted forward from where he'd been patiently seated at Harry's feet, making the boy jump as a cold nose worked its way under one trouser cuff to snuffle against his skin.

Harry hid his smile, but not too well, behind a sip of his tea. "You did me the kindness first, remember?" He warmed his hands, wrapping them around the mug as he set it between himself and Eggsy. Harry let his posture relax. It wasn't hard to warm to the boy's presence. He wanted to make himself as inviting as this cafe was against the chill outside. "Do you often go about aiding your neighbours in search of their runaway pets?"

"Nah, not many people can afford 'em. A few yappers here and there, but not a lot." The barista called out his order, and Eggsy retrieved his mug before sitting down again. It was easier for Eggsy to lick the whipped cream topping off his mug than to watch the keen, kindly look Harry was leveling at him. "I do help out with the neighbors for other stuff now and then, though. If they go off on holiday or need an errand run. 's good for pocket money."

"Well, consider this repayment for fetching my dog then." Harry raised his cup in cheers. "I do hope though that I won't get you into trouble with your mother, being out this far from the grounds even if it is just around the corner?" Harry watched the boy's pink tongue catch a dollop of the cream at the very top before Eggsy realised he could use his spoon to catch the rest. That image alone would keep him warm for the rest of the evening. 

Eggsy kicked his heels against the chair leg, wondering to himself how much he was supposed to say. His mother had given him the talk, of course, about how some strangers weren't to be trusted, but Harry seemed to be trustworthy from everything he'd seen. Even his suspicions hadn't panned out, much to the boy's embarrassment, which left him with an older man that was at least mildly interested in... him. What he did, what he was interested in. Eggsy had no idea why, and was all the more flustered for it, particularly as he already had other worries on his mind.

"Mum doesn't care too much, long as I don't go far or get involved in any funny business. She doesn't want me hanging around with some of my mates anymore because they smoke," he added. "But if I don't come back smelling like tobacco, I'm usually ok."

Harry snorted a laugh. "Good on you then. Because I don't suppose any amount of skill at gymnastics could get you out of that one. If she's anything like the mothers I've known, you probably wouldn't see daylight in a week." Harry was certain it wouldn't escape the boy that, though he did acknowledge there would be consequences if his mother were crossed, Harry had basically just advocated for Eggsy lying to his mother. 

The attempt at cameraderie worked; Eggsy's mouth quirked just a little, and the boy started looking directly at Harry as his discomfort anyway. "Yeah. I mean, she's not really hard on me or anything. Not really. But she's really firm about cigs. I think she'd have a nosebleed if she knew the kinda stuff I've been offered at school, but she seems to think smokin's the worst I can get into."

Eggsy rolled his eyes and buried his nose in his mug. When he lowered it again, a line of white cream clung along his upper lip, quickly wiped away with one movement of his tongue.

Harry smirked with only the corner of his mouth. "I grew up in the 70s, believe me, I know what you mean." If he wanted to win Eggsy's affection, he was going to have to do it as he was and that meant he couldn't ignore the differences between them. Harry learned a long time ago that the better method of gaining favour from a mark was to use those differences to his advantage. Finding a commonality in spite of them. Bridging the gap, as it were. "But know what you're getting into, don't let anyone take advantage of you, and _don't get caught_ and you'll be alright."

"Not had much use for the stuff, but yeah. I'm not stupid." Eggsy snorted and pushed his mug from side to side between his hands. "Most of the stuff at school is fake, anyways, or cut down with junk. Even if I was curious, 's more trouble than not, and I don't have quid to blow on that sorta thing."

The boy paused, mulling things over for a minute before glancing back up again. His fingers drummed against the table. "What were the 70s like? Can't imagine it'd be like now."

"Well I can tell you Abbey Road here was profoundly more exciting than it is today, even with Beatlemania dying down. We were getting over the wild hedonism of the 60s, but still not quite over it entirely." Harry let himself meet Eggsy's eyes with a conspiratorial glint at that, but moved smoothly on. "That sort of culture infiltrated everywhere, perhaps for the first time. Suddenly there were girls in our boarding schools. And this was the day just before Margaret Thatcher, a turbulent economy but all around not a bad time to have lived in if I do say so myself. Now if you want to know about the 60s I'm afraid you'll have to ask Jeff, that's a bit beyond my time out and about in the world."

Harry caught the eye of the barista and welcomed another mug of tea. When the young woman came over to their table, however, her eye lit up at the sight of Eggsy and Harry knew to be on his guard.   
"Well hello there, I haven't seen your mum around here in ages." She poured Harry his drink and gave him a polite smile as well. 

Eggsy's demeanor abruptly shifted. The boy became wary, giving the lady a little smile back that had a brittle edge to it. "Yeah, she's been kinda... busy lately. Tryin' to get some overtime, and... she's dating again, you know. So she's been gettin' out of the flat a bit more to restaurants and clubs and things."

The barista got a curious glint in her eye, and Eggsy's shoulders slumped. He did _not_ want to talk about his mother's romantic life. He didn't even like thinking about it himself, and he certainly didn't want to recap all the uncomfortable or downright gross moments he'd witnessed to his mother's friend.  
Immediately, and much to Harry's consternation, she looked to him with bright eyes and a once-over that would have gone farther if her eyes hadn't been impeded by the table. "Oh no, not me," he interrupted just as her mouth opened and her smile turned awkward in confusion. 

"No? She might have been a very lucky lady," she defaulted to a playful attitude instead and Harry could see why with the way she was still looking at him. 

He put on a self conscious smile. "I'm afraid not. Eggsy here simply caught my runaway dog the other day." 

"Oh I see," She nodded without suspicion and for that Harry was grateful. He supposed it helped that she seemed rather taken with his smile. "Well," she turned to Eggsy, "you tell Michelle Unwin that if she ever feels like introducing him to her friends she hasn't seen in _weeks_ , then she better show up at The Salt House one of these nights, yeah? And if anyone else happens to fancy a few drinks, he'd be welcome, too," she added for Harry's sake before she straightened and he smiled politely, but hoped she'd take as a 'no, thanks'. 

After that, Harry let his face go slack. 

Eggsy buried his head in his hands once the waitress left, completely mortified. Bad enough that his mother's friend had wanted to chat, and that his mother's boyfriend had been a topic, but then she'd thought Harry was his mother's new fling.

Worse still, she'd started trying to flirt with Harry afterwards. Eggsy's stomach had turned sour as soon as she'd begun, and he had no idea why. The culmination of the two made him slide down in his chair, slumped over on the table with his face still mostly hidden by his crossed arms.

The boy glanced up, caught sight of Harry's blank expression, and wondered what it meant. Adults were strange. He could simply not be interested in the barista, or bothered by the interruption... or maybe embarrassed. "...my mum kinda knows a lot of people around here."

Harry came out of it quickly, giving the boy a knowing smile and raise of his brows, but that didn't stop him from descending back into thought again after. Carefully, he set the new steaming mug down between them and leaned over the table. The waitress had given him exactly what he'd needed. Harry wetted his lip as though he were searching for the right words. 

"Eggsy... Your mother's name is Michelle Unwin?"

"Uh... yeah? Why?" For a moment, Eggsy's nervousness increased sharply. If Harry recognized her name, then he probably knew her somehow. Which meant that Harry might have already heard stories about him, or had witnessed some of his family's embarrassing moments. Harry didn't look to be the sort to hang out down at the pub or one of the music clubs. "Do you know her from somewhere?"

Harry gave a slight shake of his head. He met the boy's gaze and didn't let him look away. Eggsy sat there, hunched at the table, caught under Harry's gaze, waiting for him to deliver the lines Harry had planned ever since they'd met again. The boy's eyes were bright, his delicate brow knitted, and his face was as open as ever, hanging on Harry's words. 

"And your father, the soldier...was his name Lee Unwin?"

"Yeah...?" Eggsy's wariness transformed slightly as the seconds passed. Harry could watch the boy put two and two together, with Harry's mention of his veteran status and the implication that he knew Michelle Uwin through her first husband. Eggsy's eyes widened and his fidgeting ceased. "What, you knew my dad? When? Were you in his unit? Could you tell me about him?"

Harry's back hit the seat. He stared at Eggsy, looked the boy up and down before Harry ran a hand over his face. He breathed a deep sigh before he sat forward again and lowered his elbows to the table. "I'm sorry Eggsy. I...well, I didn't know him long. But your father saved my life." He let the unease drop from his posture and watched the boy. Harry wasn't going to play up the farce. He was there to level with the boy, as much as he could. 

Eggsy looked down at a space on the table between them, tears welling up to rim his eyes. Even a few years later, the loss of his father still left him raw. "I really don't remember much. I was too young to, and then he never came back, and nobody told me anything. Mum has some pictures, but that's... just not the same, y'know?"

Eggsy rubbed the edge of one hand across his face, doing his best to put on a little bravado before he looked up again. "How'd he save you? Or can you not tell me either? Same secret unit nobody can talk about?"

Harry gave him a tight smile but there was little humour in it. "I can tell you that I missed something that day. He caught it, acted before any of us did. But yes, apart from that, it is classified." Harry sighed and ran a hand over his face again. He glanced out the window, avoiding Eggsy's watery stare. "Your mother would have my head if she found out I'd spoken to you. She didn't take it well. As I'm sure you know." 

"She didn't," Eggsy agreed softly. "She won't talk about him much, even to me. Just gets angry, and sad, that she didn't insist that he not join the forces. Said heroes never come home in the end."

Eggsy toyed with the mug in front of him and tried another sip, but the hot chocolate now was cloying against his tongue. When he spoke again, his voice was softer still. "She's... got problems. Still. She was really sad when I was little, but mostly did ok, but her last boyfriend kinda... There are lots of bottles. I think she thinks I don't notice, 'cause she never has me take the recycling out."

"Ah." Harry nodded his understanding. "Well. If you ever want to confront her about it, you can tell her the Lee I knew wouldn't have stood for that. Not unless he was invited in on it," Harry gave a wince of a smile. Eggsy's gaze kept drifting back to a crack in the tabletop and Harry searched out the boy's gaze. "This new man of hers though, he isn't like the last one, is he?" Harry knew what kind of concern was written across his face, but he wanted more out of this than Eggsy simply thinking he cared. He wanted the boy's own words on the subject. 

"I... dunno yet. He's nicer to her, sort of." Eggsy started picking at the table varnish, running blunted nails down the cracks in the grain until bits flaked off and stuck underneath. The fact that Harry shouldn't have known about Michelle's previous boyfriend at all slipped right past the boy. "He hasn't been taking her money to go gamble, like the last one. But Dean sort of scares me. He hasn't done anything, really, but he's scary. Like he's angry all the time. I think he wishes I wasn't there."

"Hm." As non-committal a noise Harry made, he left no room for his displeasure to be mistaken for anything else. Another considering pause later and Harry was fishing in his pocket for a pen and a piece of paper. "I don't normally do this, and you'd best not tell anyone you have this, but if you ever feel like giving me a ring, here's my number." He jotted it in a quick scrawl without his name and passed the fold of paper to Eggsy across the table. "I'm not saying you'll ever _need_ it. But in case you do. Or even if you just want to get out of the house for a while. I'd be happy to share what I can about your father. The both of you deserve that much." 

Eggsy looked back up at Harry as he took the card. The reddish rims around his eyes didn't diminish his beauty - if anything, it only made the blue of his irises all the starker from the contrast. "Thanks. I really can't go anywhere though. My mum'd go ballistic. She'd probably ground me for a couple of months, at _least_. I'd... like to hear more about my dad, though."

The boy glanced down at the number scrawled across the paper in black ink, then folded it and tucked it into his pocket.

"Then I'd be happy to stay." Harry cocked his head and raised his mug in cheers. "Now what can I tell you about Lee that you don't already know, hm? I admired him for not being a snob, for one thing." This part wasn't difficult. The memories came back to Harry easily and he had felt exactly such about Lee Unwin. "I remember him being handsome, confident, but I think what I liked most about him was that he had a certain sense of honour very few of us had. Not the queen and country bit, mind you, a _real_ sense of honour. Didn't take himself to be above anyone else, nor below either. He was good at keeping his squad together, equal that way."

Eggsy hung on Harry's every word. Harry could see him lean forward, trying to get closer to the image painted by his description, a sort of painful longing writ across his youthful features. It was very much the product of the sort of projected, fantastical heroism that was common to children with absent parents, except that Lee's goodness wasn't a fiction that was contrived to explain his disappearance from Eggsy's life. He had been a hero in truth. "How'd he do that? Keep the squad together?"

Harry's smile curled a little at the edge. "At first? Trickery. As I said, he was one of the few who weren't a complete snob, and unfortunately that meant he was one of the first singled out of the group. Now, when I knew him, Lee and the others had just entered into a...rather unusual sort of training. A competition, if you will. None of them knew each other, not by name anyway. By reputation, however...." Harry gave a little shrug. "Connections can go a long way. These were men and women from military families, you must understand, prone to a certain amount of cliquishness. Lee kept to himself in the beginning, didn't pretend to be much, even got a couple of the lads believing he'd never made it past secondary. And then during one of the games he came up with a battle strategy that knocked three of his peers out of the running while simultaneously keeping his team on track the whole way through. They learned their lesson after that."

Military families. Snobbishness. Eggsy's eyes lit up. "...so they were a bunch of toffs?" he asked. He could easily imagine it: a bunch of kids with ambitious, prideful parents who badgered them into signing up for the upper ranks of the forces. For Queena and country, of course, but also a good paycheck and a sizeable amount of bragging rights and social esteem. "So... my dad was in some kind of officer competition? A test or something?"

"That he was. I'm afraid I can't tell you how exactly, but he made it to the final round before he died. Might very well have won if things hadn't gone wrong." Harry sighed. He let himself take in this moment, feeling Eggsy's turmoil and excitement like palpable things radiating from his small frame, seeping across the table. "I still believe he could have been one of the best."

The lights inside the cafe, brighter now that the early evening darkness was creeping in outside, seemed warmer, too. With Eggsy looking at Harry like that, like Harry held the key to every mystery the boy longed to hear, it was hard to fight it. Harry had put himself in such a position, he was nothing if not a keeper of secrets, but the boy's awe was no less tiresome for it. 

"...it was a training accident, then?" Eggsy frowned, leaning forward until his chin rested on his crossed arms. He seemed oblivious to the shifting of the light, entirely focused on Harry and the story. "But how'd he save your life, then? Was that why he got a medal, even though it wasn't official business? Because he saved you? Do people in the forces often die in training?"

Harry let the corner of his mouth turn up. "It wasn't a training accident. Not exactly. A competition yes, with many opportunities for training, but every one of them had the experience needed to do their job. Apart from the first several weeks, they were always technically on active duty." There had been talk afterwards about that of course, but Harry did not know if a more stable competitive environment for new candidates would ever come to pass in Kingsman tradition. "I can tell you, however, that it wasn't taken lightly."

Eggsy absorbed this in silence. That his father had been a hero. That his father had been at the end, had almost beaten out all the competition, pulling one over on the other overconfident, snobbish recruits. "Doesn't change the fact he didn't come home, though, dinnit," the boy finally murmured. "Queen and country, and I'm left with me mum. And whoever she's dating at the moment."

Harry gave a tired smile. "No. That it doesn't." He turned his half empty mug on the table, listening to the ceramic scrape against its surface. "You'll have the rest of your life to decide what that means for you. Sounds like you've already started." 

Harry glanced down to the prone form of Mr. Pickle, lying on the floor and looking, if were possible for a dog to look such a way, as bored as he could be. "It is getting late," Harry remarked. "I should let you get back home to your mother, and I'd best be on my way." Slowly, Harry rose from the table, perking up the dog's attention. "I'm sorry to have brought up such a painful topic, but I'm glad to have met you, Eggsy." 

"Yeah." Eggsy got to his feet, glancing down at his empty mug and then remembering his manners. "Thanks for the hot chocolate. And, y'know. Telling me about my dad." There was so much more to be said about that, but Eggsy didn't know where to begin. A boy his age had no concept of how to voice the mixture of hero worship and detached sorrow and smoldering resentment that filled children whose parents didn't ever come home; those who only remembered through the hyperbolic stories of others, or their silence.

"Let me walk you back at least. It's getting dark out and I'm headed there anyway." Harry gestured for the boy to follow after him as he paid for the extra hot chocolate at the counter and then back through the door, chiming on their way out. Eggsy was a little less hesitant to follow now. Harry had made himself a little less of a stranger. 

The air had turned nippy while they'd been inside though, and the breeze hadn't let up either. Combined, the walk back was bound to be chilly indeed. Harry glanced at Eggsy's loose hoodie. "You have gloves, I hope?"

Eggsy shook his head and buried his hands in his front pocket. He didn't want to admit the truth to Harry: that money was tight and the secondhand store only had so much. He'd had gloves, and then lost one at school, and hadn't dared ask Michelle for replacements. He would have shoplifted another pair, except it was the wrong season for it. "I'm fine. I'm used to it, really."

Harry hummed non-committally, put his own gloves on, wrapped Mr. Pickle's leash around one hand, and reached out to tug Eggsy to his side as they walked. He didn't say anything, just kept his stroll to a pace the boy could match and folded an arm around him. Harry could do that now. He could feel the small weight of the boy fall against him and Harry kept his arm firm. This wasn't pity, this was welcome, this was familiarity. This was carefully calculated familiarity. Harry didn't glance down, but he did allow a smile to touch his lips, knowing Eggsy would look up. 

And so the boy did, incredulity plain on his face. He wasn't used to being touched, aside from motherly affection lavished on him now and then by Michelle. It was strange, being tucked against Harry's side, and yet... Eggsy supposed it was understandable. They were friends now. Harry had told him that Lee had saved his life; that almost made him family, in a way. Eggsy might have protested had Harry been the sort to creep him out, but he seemed harmless. Ludicrous, indeed, to suggest that he should feel threatened by an older veteran, with a dog in tow, who bought him hot chocolate and told him about his father when no one else would.

The sidewalk passed underneath their feet too quickly. The tenements of Alexandra and Ainsworth rose in front of them, monstrosities that weren't quite the horror that was Milton Keynes. Streetlamps were beginning to flicker to life in the wake of the dying sun that was sinking below the horizon and painting the landscape in fiery hues.

"I'm afraid this is where we part ways, my dear Eggsy." Harry drew to a stop as they reached the middle of the walk below Eggsy's door and finally looked down at the boy. In spite of the low light, or perhaps because of it for now Eggsy's cheek and brow were lit with the orange warmth of the street lamps, he was perhaps even more beautiful than when Harry had first seen him playing out in the sun that fateful day Harry had decided to return to the tenements. He let the boy go with great reluctance, but brought him up short just after. "Oh and.... If you need to, that's alright, but if you can avoid it, I'd rather you didn't tell your mother about running into me. She didn't take very kindly to it the last time I offered her family help."

Eggsy nodded. Harry's request didn't seem that strange. He could easily imagine that his mother would resent seeing the man who had survived when her husband hadn't - who had lived precisely _because_ Lee had died. The boy wasn't sure why he didn't resent Harry for the same, but it was hard to think of doing so after they'd started to become friends. Eggsy wanted his father back, of course, but that wasn't going to happen, and knowing someone who knew his father during his last days was a gift.

"G'night, Harry. I suppose I'll see you again if you're visiting with Mr. Garner pretty often?" The boy hadn't meant for his voice to sound quite so hopeful.

Harry smiled, letting the weight of it sink into his cheeks. "Perhaps so." He waved the boy up the stairs, watching as Eggsy turned back to see Harry for as long as he could. Harry was warmed in a way that had nothing to do with his woolen coat or gloves. 

He watched until the boy disappeared behind his door, and then Harry turned, making his way along the walk toward Mr. Garner's flat. He walked all the way up the stairs and, in spite of the lights being out inside, stood in front of the door pretending to knock. His free hand worked a pick into the handle and a minute later, Harry was inside the empty, and somewhat smelly, flat. He would have to confirm his suspicions when he arrived home, but Harry would guess Eggsy had pressed himself up to the front window and followed Harry for as long as he could. With that thought tugging a smile at the corner of his mouth, Harry waited twenty minutes and then slipped out again.

The following morning Harry arrived at Savile Row with a determined hitch in his step. All the way from the shop to Kingsman headquarters Harry's mind was preoccupied, never mind greetings from the shopkeeper--to which Harry answered just as politely as he had every other morning, or the ride on the bullet train--as silent and as smooth as ever. None of the other nods and mild mannered greetings from passing tech personnel and even a fellow knight or two distracted him as he walked the halls, headed for his office. 

There was plenty of morning left to look over incoming case files, have a cup of coffee, and mull over Eggsy. 

Particularly, the footage from the previous night. Harry's prediction had been spot on; Eggsy had been at the window to watch him enter Mr. Garner's apartment, then left long before Harry had re-emerged. And, importantly, Eggsy hadn't been at the window long enough to have been able to say whether one Mr. Garner had ever arrived home in time for Harry's visit. All the boy had seen was a door opening and Harry stepping inside.

Confirmation that he'd hooked the boy's interest at some level had been warming enough, but later still he'd had another treat: a repetition of Eggsy's interest in the stolen magazines. The boy had picked a different page this time, and he was still under the covers out of wariness that he might be interrupted and caught, but _oh_. The movement of his small body under the covers let Harry easily construct an image in his mind, and the breathless sounds and look of pleasure on Eggsy's face as he explored his fledgling sexuality were more than enough to help fuel Harry's own climax later.

Indeed, just reminiscing on the previous night left Harry distracted enough that he missed the fact that Merlin had darkened his doorway until the sound of knuckles against wood brought him out of his reverie.

Harry glanced up in mild surprise until he saw who it was and gave a half hearted sigh. He went back to his papers, gesturing the man inside. "Merlin, how nice of you to drop by. Sending me off to Kolkata in a month I see?" Harry took a sip of coffee, noting the man's expression hadn't altered in the least. 

Merlin was in fact regarding him in that calm, collected air he acquired whenever he was on the verge of discovering something decidedly important, and rather personal, about one of his colleagues. Harry didn't do the man the honour of dropping his guard in the slightest. 

"Quite. I hear West Bengal is rather nice this time of year, and I had thought that, by that time, you might be itching for another adventure. Perhaps I misestimated," Merlin added, striding forward at a sedate, measured pace. Harry heard the impact of each footfall on the carpet, the sound of Merlin invading Harry's personal space and, soon, his personal business. Harry had seen Merlin have delicate conversations with other colleagues enough to recognize what was coming.

"It seems that you became impatient and decided to make your own adventure. Should I be asking why resources are being used for the pressing matter of convincing the child of a deceased ex-candidate that his veteran neighbor is back from holiday and on friendly terms with your person?"

Harry set down his mug with a scowl. "If you must, then I'd tell you that 'resources aren't simply _being_ used', _I_ am using them and I am perfectly willing to own up to that fact. And it is for a personal project. I'm simply checking up on the boy, is all." Merlin's countenance remained unmoved, as did his person. Harry sighed and cast his eyes toward the ceiling. "Oh don't look at me like that. I know very well how thoroughly Percival background checks any man who plans to be in the same room as his daughter, never mind how often Lancelot likes to take company cars out for a ride with the ladies."

"It's true that we all have our indulgences from time to time," Merlin agreed. Harry watched him move out of the corner of his vision, circling around, mirroring his verbal testing of Harry's defenses. "All fairly understandable. Usually. What's peculiar in this instance is that you've never shown interest in the loved ones of any ex-candidates, or survivors from previous assignments. Your sudden interest in checking up on the Unwins neatly coincidences with some equipment that has been removed from our last inventory check for reordering."

Merlin's brow arched, and he paced again, circling back around until he stood square in front of Harry on the opposite side of the desk. "Coincidental, perhaps, but a check of the CCTV cameras revealed a few visits to that particular complex before you phoned for my help."

"If you're about to accuse me of being too sentimental for my own good, I think we can both agree that would be wildly out of character," Harry deadpaanned, fixing Merlin under his gaze. He was very aware of what he'd just said, for what other reason than sentiment would he need for spying upon Lee's family? But Merlin wasn't one to be deceived. Ignored, yes. Avoided, yes. But never outright deceived. He and Harry had worked together far too often for Harry to have thought otherwise. Or avoided this confrontation for long. He knew that the very moment he'd made the call. Still, Harry should perhaps not dump the news over the man's head all at once. He waved away Merlin's piercing stare. "If you feel the need to take your time and the supplies out of my salary, I have no objections. Lord knows I'm not doing anything with it anyway."

"I may do just that. I'm assuming that none of the surveillance devices are going to be recovered and returned to the storeroom." Merlin slid his hands into his trouser pockets and rocked back on his heels slightly. It was an affectation of ease, one they both knew to be a lie. Merlin was studying Harry too closely, gauging the situation and choosing his words with care. "I can tell you'd rather I not ask. I would, in all honesty, prefer not to have to ask. But I am going to assume, given our agreement that sentimentality is not, on the whole, one of your character traits, and that there is only one other logical explanation. One that could make things particularly difficult for the organization should things progress past surveillance and conversations and into situations where we start having to spend favors and capital to make investigations quietly go away."

To hell with discretion, then. Harry sighed, but he didn't drop his gaze. "Merlin, you know our secrecy will never be anything more than paramount in my mind, no matter where my personal life may lead. Of that you can be certain. But I sincerely hope you have more faith in my abilities, _and_ our resources, to assume that such an event would pose even the slightest threat to the integrity of Kingsman." Harry noted the subtle twitch in Merlin's eye. "Unless you're worried about me personally." And with that, Harry put on a smile and blinked up at the man. It was a cheeky expression Merlin would know well. He'd seen Harry use it often enough before, on missions occasionally, on casual acquaintance far more often.

"Don't give me that look." Irritation flooded Merlin's features, but not without some measure of fondness. It was a slip, letting his composure drop just for a moment, but Merlin was not without sentiment. "And I am perfectly capable of being concerned about multiple angles without having to pick just one. I've not been one to pry about other agent's personal lives and interests, but you know some of the cases I've worked. I've had a few messes to clean up where powerful individuals felt that their positions, connections, wealth, and resources made them untouchable, only to find out otherwise and contract our services. _My_ services, at the time. Regardless of your confidence, and my high esteem of your skills, things can go wrong. Things do go wrong."

Merlin's gaze finally dropped, turning into a pointed study of the grain work of Harry's desk. "There is also the boy to consider. Gareth has unusual proclivities, as you may be aware, but as far as I'm aware his partners have always been willing, and he's shown some restraint with how far his tastes towards sadism are applied. Should I be concerned over your intent?"

A real frown pulled at the corners of Harry's mouth. "Merlin, you are one of my oldest friends, and I'm not sure you have any idea just how much I want to tell you to fuck off right now for that statement. If that were the case I would have hardly been inclined to call you and convince him that my presence at the estates was nothing short of harmless." Harry sighed. He could feel his jaw twitch under Merlin's scrutiny and he knew that he was caving after all. He would have had to confess later, he supposed. Harry moved the mug aside and then thought better of it and brought it back, using it to occupy his fingers. He took a breath. "I find myself fascinated by him. But I have no wish to cause the boy harm."

Merlin nodded slowly. His eyes rose from Harry's desk to his face, but still revealed nothing. Such was the usual for their organization - even with close friends, all of them were so used to masking their intent and pretending to be different people that dropping such habits was difficult indeed. "Understand, Galahad, that my questions are not condemnation. We both know what business we're in. I just am concerned, that's all. For Kingsman, for you, and for myself if you require more of my services. I want to know what I'm getting myself into if I'm helping you, off the books, and overlooking the equipment requisitions."

Harry's frown softened. Merlin was nothing if not pragmatic. Closed off as the man usually was, even with Harry, they had always gotten on well together. Perhaps because Harry himself was so often closed off, even to the other knights. Lancelot for one used his gentleman's grace more often than not as a tool to acquire what he wanted. Harry instead used it as a shield. 

So of course when Merlin went looking into Harry's recent activities spying upon the Unwins, he rightly wouldn't have even considered Michelle was the focus of Harry's interest. Later, Harry would lie awake and wonder whether Merlin always caught onto such things so quickly because he too had proclivities to hide. Now, however, was not the time. 

"So does that mean you'll help me?" Harry let the corner of his mouth lift as he held Merlin's gaze. 

"That depends on what you're going to do, but yes," Merlin stated. His hand immediately rose to ward off a response, and he ducked his head. "No details. I don't want to know and it's none of my business. I have no desire to see Kingsman come into hot water, or you. You've been a good friend, and you're a damn fine agent, and you've asked for little compared to the others. I'm still going to deduct the taken supplies from your wages to pay for reordering. But if your concern is that I'm going to appeal to Arthur, or some other authority, the answer is no. I want to be kept informed, within limits, if you're going to involve me in this mess, but no. And for the record, Arthur wouldn't care regardless, so long as you aren't endangering Kingsman as a whole, which I don't plan to allow you to do. For my sake, and for yours."

"Good man." Harry smiled and watched Merlin's frown deepen in annoyance. Merlin's judgement about Arthur would have been Harry's estimate as well. Truly Harry was hoping to have more time to get Merlin on board with his little side project, because he knew there were going to be strings he'd need the man to pull in the future. Possibly the very near future if Harry couldn't handle Mr. Garner's affairs himself, but he supposed it was Merlin's nature to confront such a scandal head on. That wouldn't necessarily mean Harry didn't still have time to get the man to come around. His concerns were after all very well within reason. 

"That said," Harry went on, "I may need to find a reason for that Mr. Garner to be away on holiday or leave the estates altogether sooner rather than later. I'll let you know if I need you to look into it." 

"Do." Merling frowned, but remained unmovable. His piercing gaze was becoming irritating, in fact, but not threatening. They knew each other. They _needed_ each other. "Don't leave me in the dark on this, Galahad. I mean it. You're like a brother, but I don't appreciate being strung along. Don't lie to me."

Merlin straightened, his spine going a bit more rigid and his chin raising. "Now. Do you have anything else to inform me about, or is our business for today concluded?"

Harry breathed deep and nodded. "Concluded. That's all for now." Merlin knew Harry would take his request seriously. And Harry would indeed take his request seriously. That's how they worked, that's how, mission after impossible mission, they'd survived. Harry knew it. It would not be wise to undertake this project alone, as far as he now envisioned taking it, and Merlin would be the best resource Harry could hope to have on his side. "Thank you, Merlin." Merlin would know just how much Harry meant that as well. 

Merlin quirked a humorless smile, one that vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. "Then take care. Let me know when my services are required again, and keep your mind on your mission when you're packed off next month. I don't want to see you killed because you were pining over a boy."

Merlin's gaze sharpened and their eyes met, and that was all Harry needed to know. Merlin cared. He was worried in truth, not making a pretense of it. When Merlin turned on his heel and left the office, Harry felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

That had gone rather well, all things considered. And Harry supposed it was best this confrontation was over and out of the way now. Merlin would help him. He hadn't doubted the man would, but now he knew it in no uncertain terms. The man may not approve of the danger in certain respects, but Harry could count on him. And Harry would do his job, just as he had planned to go on doing. 

Throughout it all, Eggsy Unwin would never be the wiser.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry sorted out his records for the rest of the day, researching the situation in Kolkata, brushing up on his Bengali, and preparing to continue doing so over the next month. He also looked into the affairs of Mr. Garner once again. It was very convenient Harry had discovered him in the first place -- a man older than Harry, a retired soldier away on vacation just when Harry arrived at the estates, but Harry was soon going to run out of conveniences. If he could send the man away again, perhaps to his sister in Wales for another week or two, that might be just enough time to return to Eggsy's doorstep. 

Harry finished off the day working out such plans before he retired home to check on the feeds.   
What he found was distressing.

Eggsy was sprawled atop his bed, head face down and pillowed against his arms, his shoulders shaking in aborted sobs. A quick rewind of the feeds determined the cause: Dean and Michelle had gotten into a fight. Dean had left, but Michelle had descended into a haze of gin, which had promptly scared and upset Eggsy enough that he'd locked himself into his room and refused to come out for dinner, no matter what slurred encouragements Michelle had given him. His homework had been tossed aside in favor of venting his emotions, and every now and then Eggsy glanced at his window casement, considering escape.

After a half hour, thought became reality. Eggsy slid the glass panel open as wide as it could go, removed the insect screen, and constructed a fabric rope to escape to another balcony. From there, it was a quick trip to the ground.

"Shit," Harry sighed and moved to his keyboard. Logging into the Kingsman network, he connected to any nearby CCTV cameras he could find. There were a few. Notably one on either side of the mammoth estates and one reaching out over the train tracks behind the building, mounted upon the bridge above. Eggsy's small form, however, would be walking along the path somewhere between the back and those tracks. Unless he ducked into the street that crossed underneath the estates, which was very likely. Harry searched out another camera along the front, split the four of them, and waited for the small figure to make an appearance. 

Eggsy reappeared in the shadow of the tenements, walking parallel to the rain tracks. He didn't get far, only several meters before he collapsed and scrunched himself up against the concrete wall, tucking himself into a ball that the passing trains would never notice. Thankfully, the boy made no move that indicated that his emotional health was so compromised as to consider ending his life; train lights approached and passed without him rousing himself, but neither did he make a move to return to his room, and the mobile phone he'd brought with him remained untouched.

Harry was sorely tempted to call the boy, no matter how out of the question that would be. He wasn't supposed to have the number of the prepaid phone Michelle had bought her son for emergencies only, nor was he supposed to know that Eggsy was in trouble at all. He had, however, given the boy his own number in hopes that he would call. It was late and whether Eggsy was inclined to do so was very much in question. Harry had made the offer on the basis that the boy might like to talk about his father, even if Harry had tried to insinuate the reason could be any at all. 

Harry had one idea though. Eggsy sat not too far off from the pair of payphones they'd used the other day. Not close enough to see them, perhaps, but close enough still. With a few more minutes of searching through Merlin's databases, Harry found the number for the public convenience phone on the ground walk and dialled. 

He let it ring once, twice, three times before he saw Eggsy's head lift through the low light of the footage. Before the boy could rise, Harry disconnected the call. 

Through the cameras, Harry could see Eggsy frown. Payphones didn't ring on their own, not outside of spy movies. The mystery was enough, however, to distract Eggsy from his own distress. He stared at the phone booth for a number of minutes in silences, curled upon himself to conserve heat.

Then he dug his prepaid phone out of his pocket, along with the little slip of paper Harry had given him. Only a few seconds more, and Harry's phone rang.

With a sigh of relief and anticipation alike, Harry sat back in his chair. He didn't leave it long. He plucked his phone off its stand on the second ring and didn't bother pretending to have been asleep. 

"Yes, hello?" The first thing Harry heard was the sound of a distant train. 

"Mr... Harry? With the dog?" Eggsy's voice sounded faint, accompanied by the haunting counterpoint of the train whistle and the ruckus of metal wheels on tracks. "It's Eggsy, I don't know if you remember me. I-... y'know what, I'm sorry for bothering you. It was stupid, 'm sorry."

"Wait-wait, Eggsy," Harry interrupted before the boy could hang up, infusing warmth into his voice, "Of course I remember you. You're not bothering me. What are you doing up so late?" Harry didn't want to give the boy any time to rethink this call. He clutched the phone tight to his ear and prayed Eggsy would be more tempted to answer him than he would be to get out of the conversation. 

"I..." The boy paused, his voice cutting off as his throat constricted. "My mum's not doing very well. She's... she didn't hit me or nothing, but I just... I don't know what to do. She's all sloshed again, and I just... it scared me, and you're an old friend of my dad's. I wasn't thinking, I just... needed to hear someone. I couldn't stay in the house, not right now. She don't know I'm gone."

Harry was up and moving, slipping out of his robe and into a light jacket, switching from his landline to his mobile with only a quick and seamless dial. "Oh Eggsy. You're alright though? You two had a fight? Where are you now?" 

He closed the door silently behind him on his way out and climbed into his car. 

"I, uh. Yeah, I'm ok, just behind my building. Where the trains are." Eggsy paused. He had to have heard the engine starting on Harry's side of the phone. "I'm not a jumper or nothin'. I just don't have nowhere to go. If I talk to my mates, their parents will know and they'll get on my mum's case. I really don't want that. I don't want her hurt and all, I just can be in there when she's like this."

"It's alright Eggsy. Listen, I'm coming to get you." Harry was already well down the road. "I'm not far, only about 15 minutes. It's no trouble at all. Then you can tell me all about it and you won't have to worry about me spreading gossip round the neighbourhood." He let a lighter tone creep into his voice. Eggsy had been trying for that track, trying to defuse Harry's worry, even if it was rather obvious. But Harry went along with it to calm the boy. 

"I don't... I have to hang up now, I don't have a lot of time. This phone is only for emergencies." Harry didn't have a moment to respond before the dial signal flooded his own receiver. Eggsy had hung up.  
But he knew where the boy was, now., and he was expected. Moreover, Eggsy had just had an emergency, and the person he had called on his limited phone time had been _Harry_.

It filled him with warmth as harry drove. Even if it was mingled with the trepidation that he would arrive at the estates only to find Eggsy had left his hiding spot, either to find a new one or to go back inside. He cursed himself for forgetting in the heat of the moment to bring his laptop should that be the case. But Eggsy did know he was on his way. If he went back inside now, he would be inconveniencing Harry even more. 

Harry arrived at the street below the flats with five minutes to spare. He parked the car illegally, hung a permit from its mirror, and headed out on foot in search of Eggsy. 

He found the boy still huddled in a ball, tucked against the concrete wall and hidden by the relative darkness of the space near the train tracks. Streetlights left pools of illumination not so very far away, and the space wasn't closed off. The Met wasn't worried about taggers here. It wasn't a train yard full of targets to cover in spray paint--that happened over on the bridge. It was just a stretch of track.

Eggsy looked up as he heard footsteps approach. He shot Harry a look of incredulity. "I didn't think you were gonna come."

"Nonsense." Harry held out his hand, gesturing for the boy to rise. "I told you I wasn't far. You think I'd leave you to sit out here in the cold all by yourself?" 

Harry drew his hand down the boy's arm as he got to his feet. Even with the thick jumper Eggsy wore, Harry could feel how cold he was. He gripped tighter at that, pulling the boy into a light embrace. "Come here, you're chilled. Is she still up there? Hasn't noticed yet?" Eggsy's weight was so light against him. Harry rubbed his hands over the boy's back, trying to bring some heat into the touch before he looked down at Eggsy again. The boy stared up at him with wide, red rimmed eyes and Harry felt something in his gut clench. Even in his line of work, it was rare that a child ever looked at him like that. 

Eggsy shook his head. After some hesitance, he'd started to tentatively return the embrace. Harry felt the small hands on his sides as if they were red hot brands. "She's still there. She never notices when she's like this. Doesn't come in my room. Sometimes don't even notice if I go out the front door into the yard. Just too far gone for it."

At the thought, the boy's eyes started welling up again. "I just... sometimes I wonder if I should call the hospital, but I just... The NHS would pay for it, but mum would probably get in trouble, and I dunno what would happen after that."

Harry nodded slowly, guiding Eggsy back along the path. "That isn't something you have to decide tonight. You have a key to get back in, yes?" Eggsy glanced up at him with a slightly bewildered look, but nodded in the affirmative. "Good. Then you can stay with me for the time being, and when you think she's gotten whatever she's going through out of her system, you can give her a call or I'll give you a ride back. No trouble at all." Harry gave the boy a small smile and ran his hand down Eggsy's back. "I am glad you called you know. I'd much rather know you're safe than wandering out here in the cold." Harry confessed as they neared the street, spotting Harry's polished black car waiting alone on the kerb. 

"S-stay...?" As upset as he was, Eggsy had barely processed what Harry had said. He walked numbly forward, guided by Harry's hand, but it took him a long moment to see Harry's car and realize what he was suggesting. "I... I don't know if I can, I-..."

But that was the clinch of it. Eggsy didn't know anywhere he could go without getting his mother in trouble. He couldn't stay, and none of his neighbors could know or they'd call the Met. He didn't know anyone else from school he could stay with. There were no shelters nearby that he knew of, and any that there might be would get alarmed at a boy his age out on the streets anyways. That left wandering around in the cold, or enduring the flat and the sounds coming from the other side of his bedroom and what he might see in the morning, or... Harry.

Eggsy couldn't think about it and maintain composure. He felt Harry's gentle touch on his shoulder and that was all it took to burst into tears and hide his face behind his palms.

The sight of it startled Harry enough for him to stop. He stooped down to Eggsy's height, looking up at the boy and kept his embrace firm on Eggsy's shoulders. "It's alright now," Harry whispered. He dared to touch the boy's hair, running his fingers gently through the short strands, amazed at its softness. "If you'd rather, we could just stay here, but I'm not more than a short drive away and It sounds like it's going to be a rather long wait. Eggsy, you are _welcome_ to stay with me, however short or long a time you want to. You are not an inconvenience."

The boy's sobs stopped quickly, but didn't disappear; instead, Harry could see Eggsy was just swallowing them down. Boys didn't cry after all, or so society said, and Eggsy didn't lack for bravery. At long last, Eggsy nodded, lowering his hands. He didn't look Harry in the eye, but his hands caught on Harry's jacket. "Just go. Can we just go. _Please_."

"Certainly." 

Harry rose back to his feet, put an arm around Eggsy, and led him to the car. He helped the boy inside and then climbed in himself, taking down the parking permit before Eggsy got a good look at it and turning on the heat. "There we go. It'll be nice and cozy in here in no time." Harry pulled away from the kerb and took the now familiar streets back toward Kensington, thankful for the smooth flow of traffic at this hour. They drove in silence. There was much on Eggsy's mind and Harry could see that plain as day every time he glanced over at the boy out of the corner of his eye. 

Eggsy huddled down against the seat, numbly watching the nighttime scenes of the London streets flow by. He tried to pay attention to where they were going. Part of him was clever enough to know that he might need to find his own way back home - the same part that had learned that adults, even his own mother, were not really to be trusted. Not completely.

Harry seemed so welcoming, though. He'd been kind so far, and come to get him despite the hour and inconvenience, and the car's heater was warming his bones. Eggsy concentrated on breathing and keeping his composure. Eventually he noticed the transition of the neighborhoods, the move away from flat complexes and sketchy retail shops into little boutiques, restaurants, and large houses with walls and gates separating the properties from the street. "...are a fancy one, huh."

"You got me, Eggsy." Harry laughed under his breath. There was no denying it as they passed Kensington Gardens and the Royal Albert Hall, and, only a few turns later, came upon a secluded little mew, almost a neighbourhood unto itself, where Harry parked the car. "I can promise you this, the neighbours are every bit as stuck up as one would expect them to be. So do be careful of Mrs. Finkle and her broom on the corner there." Harry pointed to an eggshell blue house near the front of the street before he climbed out of the car and saw to Eggsy's door. Then Harry gestured with not a small amount of pride to the house at the end of the walk. "This is me at the end here." 

"Didn't think vets could afford places like this. Most I know are stuck in council housing or out on the street." Eggsy grabbed onto the door handle and slid out, closing it behind him. He couldn't help but stare a bit, but only a second later he was following Harry up the walkway. The boy couldn't have looked more out of place with his secondhand clothes, discount haircut, and the shadows around the corners of his sharp blue eyes. He kept close behind Harry, glancing about in disbelief that Mr. Garner's friend lived _here_ of all places.

"Typically they don't," Harry conceded as he unlocked the door. "But I run a tailor shop now, down on Savile Row. Much better pay. And...marginally less dangerous." He gave the boy a smile and a wink as they stepped inside. Harry turned on the light in the foyer, illuminating the quaint white staircase and rows of framed medals and photographs on the walls, mixed in with the occasional pencil sketch. 

Harry's house, when the other lights were turned, was infused with a warm, yellow glow. Watching Eggsy look about the room, Harry shrugged the jacket off his shoulders and hung it on the coat rack. He could help the smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as the boy took everything in. Harry had to wonder if Eggsy had ever been inside a house in this part of the city. He could only guess not.   
"Come into the kitchen," Harry offered. "I'll put the kettle on."

Eggsy's wide blue eyes fixed on him, and after a moment he began to follow. The boy's attention was split between an awed study of their surroundings and of Harry himself, reassessing his previous conceptions of the man. After all, when he'd met Harry before, he hadn't dressed the part of a Saville Row tailor, a man of wealth and means. Only his accent had hinted at a difference in background.  
"You live by yourself, here?" Disbelief suffused Eggsy's tone.

"Mm, yes." Harry pulled out a chair, answering as casually as possible. Most children would not question Harry's lack of a wife or family as anything significant, but Eggsy, Harry was well aware after the boy's last investigation, seemed to have a certain knowledge of the adult world only a child growing up in his circumstances could have. "Here, take a seat, get comfortable. Toilet's down the hall if you need it and - oh." Something small and scruffy bumped into Harry's leg, paws clicking across the floor and making a beeline for Eggsy. "And that'll be Mr. Pickle." 

Harry grinned to himself, turning to find the kettle as the dog found Eggsy's knees and tried to lick the boy's hands. 

Eggsy's mood immediately lightened. Friendly dogs made it difficult to hold onto an aura of fear or depression. The boy scrunched over, doing his best to reach the enthusiastic ball of fur trying to give his hands a bath, and managed to snatch Mr. Pickle up when he wiggled his way out from under the table. Eggsy hauled the dog into his lap and wrapped his arms around him. Mr. Pickle, delighted with this turn of events, stayed still for once.

"Sorry for being a bother, Mr... um, Harry." The boy's eyes followed Harry around the kitchen as he puttered to the tap and then the burners.

Harry glanced back to the boy and he couldn't have kept the smile from his face if he'd wanted to. "Eggsy," he chided. "It is nice to have you here. Truly." Harry leaned against the counter top and just took the boy in. Stained tight fitted jeans, bulky trainers, a too big jumper, little hands and a small smile that could light up the room if he let it, and...surprisingly shy eyes. At least they were now. Harry had seen them bold and determined before, headstrong enough to defy Harry's word when Eggsy suspected he was lying. Humble but strong. The same sort Lee had been made of, and in a child so young. Behind Harry, the kettle whistled softly and he turned to find a pair of mugs. "No Eggsy, before you came along, I was ready to settle in for another very boring night indeed."

Eggsy's hand worked steadily down Mr. Pickle's back, stroking through the fur while he watched Harry set the tea to steep. His feet didn't touch the floor and, after a moment, he relaxed enough that they began to swing a bit. "What do you normally do at night? Just telly or reading or something? That's what I'm usually stuck doing, if I'm not doing homework. The other blokes have tried inviting me out a couple of times, but mum wouldn't let me go. 'Cause they smoke, or something. I think she thinks they're criminals and they're gonna corrupt me. Bit silly."

Harry laughed. "Are you saying they don't want to corrupt you or that you're already corrupted?" He poured a good dose of milk in each mug and brought the two to the table with a few cubes of sugar should Eggsy want it. Harry didn't miss the tinge of pink in the boy's cheeks at that. He rather delighted in it. "Your pals would have a terrible time of it with me, I'm afraid," he added just a bit over the top, just enough for Eggsy to notice he was putting on a bit of an act. "I usually retire with a good book and a glass of wine at the end of the day; far too boring for the likes of them I'm sure. And absolutely incorruptible." 

Eggsy was a typical young boy; he didn't turn down the sugar. Two cubes dropped into his mug and a few others managed to wander into his mouth. Harry couldn't help watching every time one snuck past Eggsy's lips. "They're not that bad, really. Yeah, they smoke and drink a bit, but that's normal. An' it's just regular fags, no hard drugs or nothing. Just kids. I think mum thinks they're a gang or something, 'cause they always hang out together. They're nothing like the gangs at school though."

Mr Pickle finally got restless and Eggsy, with some reluctance, let him jump down to the floor. "What sorta stuff do you read?"

"Novels, mostly. Bit of Austen, bit of Kerouac...even a bit of Bond. As in James. Wildly different from the films actually. Enjoyably so." Harry laughed at first, but then had an idea. "We could put on a movie if you like. I think I've got some popcorn stashed away in one of these cupboards somewhere and you look like you could use a load off your mind." Harry sipped his tea before deciding to add a cube of his own. A minor indulgence, one that seemed appropriate for such a night. 

"I didn't know James Bond was books," Eggsy murmured. He stirred his tea, and Harry could practically pick the thoughts out of his head: considering how long Harry was willing to let him stay, how late it was, whether he'd get in trouble for being at the house of someone his mother didn't know and for watching a grownup's movie. The thought appealed to the boy's rebellious side, and the hurt he currently felt. Harry watched the beginnings of a smile turn up the corners of Eggsy's mouth, shy at first, but growing. "...yeah. If that's ok with you. I've never seen those, just heard about 'em."

Harry's eyebrows rose. "You've _never seen_ James Bond? I dare say that's something that needs to be rectified sooner rather than later." He took one more gulp of tea and rose from the table. "Come along." 

Harry's living room, he was pleased to say for just this very occasion, was extremely comfortable. One long, plush sofa sat against one end while a wide screen television resided at the other. Shelves of books surrounded the remaining few corners. With the addition of a pair of sitting chairs and a wide coffee table, all in dark oak and lit softer than the rest of the house, Harry liked to think of it more like a den than anything else. If he was ever forced to entertain visitors there, he let the light in through one tall window, but usually he liked to keep it muted. Right upon entering, he tossed a throw pillow to one end of the sofa, indicating subtly that Eggsy would be welcome in that spot. "Make yourself comfortable. And let's see...." Harry went to the cabinet to sift through various films. "We have Goldfinger...From Russia With Love.... I wonder if you would prefer classic or modern?"

"Modern, please. I don't much like older movies." Eggsy gave Harry a nervous glance, but the older man didn't seem to take offense. Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief and flopped onto the end of the sofa strewn with pillows. He had to scoot back a bit to get properly situated. Once he was comfortable, the boy went back to examining his surroundings, mostly because it was all so _different_ compared to the rooms he was used to. "What's rectified, anyway?"

"GoldenEye then," Harry plucked one out of the case and inserted it into the player. "And...hm? Oh, rectified." He didn't bother to hide his smile when he wandered back into the kitchen for a moment to find the popcorn, keeping up conversation between rooms. "That'll be 'put to rights', 'fixed', for no young boy your age should go for very long without having seen at least one Bond film. No matter what your mother says." Harry poked his head through the doorway and gave Eggsy a wink before he slipped back into the kitchen. 

It was...surprising how easily this was all coming to him. On some level Harry had worried it wouldn't. As much as he was enthralled by Eggsy, the idea that he could get on comfortably with the boy was a little surprising. The popcorn finished just as the movie previews finished and the title credits appeared. Harry emptied everything into a bowl, plopped it onto the coffee table between them, and took a seat on the sofa next to Eggsy. 

The boy didn't seem at all uneasy about sitting together. That made some sense, given what Harry knew about him; Michelle was often out working or struggling with her own issues, which would mean Eggsy was used to being watched by other adults who weren't relatives or, from what Harry had inferred through observation, by neighbors, both adults and older children. Eggsy leaned forward to grab a handful of popcorn, and Harry caught a glimpse of the small of his back as his shirt rode up just before the boy settled back.

A movie, as it turned out, had been an excellent idea. Eggsy was distracted and, with the excitement drawing him out of his own mind, his haunted expression vanished as his worries about his mother faded into the background.

Harry couldn't shake the joy that had settled into his chest. It was like a warm, living thing that curled up inside him, brought about by Eggsy's mere presence at his side. He'd reach for a handful of popcorn and find their arms brushing together. Harry took pleasure in laughing at particularly outrageous explosions or nudging Eggsy teasingly whenever relations between Bond and some lady on the screen turned steamy. He delighted in the way the boy rolled his eyes, no incriminating blush to be found. 

Harry had made him blush before. If he really wanted to, he felt certain he could do it again. The temptation was tantalising, but Harry knew he couldn't rush this. He needed...he wanted, the boy to feel safe with him. Eggsy should be wanted in his home when he felt he was wanted nowhere else.   
By the time the credits rolled, their popcorn had been demolished and two more cups of tea sat on the table, drained down to their leaves. Harry rather suspected that Eggsy might have gone without proper supper if he and Michelle had been fighting, or perhaps he might simply chalk it up to Eggsy's affinity for junk food. 

Even with the benefit of tea, however, the hour was late, and Eggsy was beginning to grow sleepy. Harry could see it in the set of his shoulders, the way the boy's eyes weren't quite opening all the way anymore, and the decrease in the amount of fidgeting. The drain from all of his emotional turmoil earlier also had to be weighing on him.

The credits were just beginning to wrap up when Eggsy stifled a yawn with the back of his hand. "...prob'ly should get back. Mum'll have a proper freakout if she comes to wake me up in the mornin' and I'm not there."

"Mm, true." Harry sighed but made no move to rise. He was enjoying this far too much. Instead, he buried himself down into the sofa even further and closed his eyes, letting a smile grace his mouth for Eggsy's sake, knowing the boy would glance over at him and see him being lazy. It worked and Harry felt a nudge at his side. His smile grew wider. "Ohh alright, if I _must_." Harry pulled himself upright and looked down at the boy. Eggsy was curled into the couch, knees drawn up and looking quite content where he was even if he was half asleep. 

Harry wished more than anything in that moment that he could have asked the boy to stay the night. _Next time,_ his mind supplied. Or the time after that. Not long now. Harry was encouraged by that feeling. 

Harry gave Eggsy's knee a pat before he rose to grab the popcorn and empty mugs and brought them to the kitchen. 

Eggsy followed along behind him like a little shadow, his footsteps far different than the clack of nail that signaled the presence of a far furrier companion. "Thanks for having me over, Mr... um. I don't know what your last name is, actually," the boy sheepishly admitted. As Harry turned from rinsing and setting the mugs down in the kitchen sink, he noted how Eggsy's gaze shot up from where it had been lingering near his waist. "I really didn't want to bother you. I just kinda lost it. I didn't really know what to do or where to go, just that I had to get outta the flat."

Harry set the dishes down and wiped his hands dry before turning more fully toward the boy, even leaning down to catch his eye. "Eggsy," Harry began with every bit of sincerity he could infuse into his tone, "I am glad you called me. In fact, I dare say if you'd like to call me and do this again some other night soon I would not turn you down, whether you have a reason to or not. I enjoyed your company very much. I mean that." Harry didn't straighten again until he caught the tiniest lift of a smile upon Eggsy's lip. When he did, he ruffled the boy's hair and went for his jacket.

"As for my name, I'd almost rather not give it to you," Harry said airily, pulling the wool tight around his shoulders. "More than once now I've heard you attempt to call me Mr....such and such, and I would hate to think that if you knew my last name you would stop calling me Harry." 

"Adults just usually don't want me callin' them by their first names. They say it's rude." Colour had washed through Eggsy's cheeks after Harry's hand had touched his head, but he didn't lower his eyes. If anything, his spine straightened. There was a question between the lines, one about Harry's indulgence in letting Eggsy use a familiar name when others did not. "Are we friends, then? 'Cause I really only call my mates by their _actual_ names, y'know. Most people don't want to be friends with a kid who don't know nothin'."

Harry closed the last button of his jacket and grinned at the boy. "Why yes, I think that would be perfectly wonderful if we were friends. And I don't see why not." He held out his hand for Eggsy to come to him and wrapped it around the boy's shoulders when he did. Harry used the pretence of leaving the house to accompany the gesture, keeping Eggsy warm on the short walk down to the car. "If we're going to be friends then I suppose I had better tell you my last name after all then. It's Hart. Harry Hart."

"Hart." Eggsy repeated the word, letting it settle on his tongue with a slight frown. "That's a deer, innit? The one with the antlers. A stag, I guess? I saw summat about that in a book at school."

With Harry's hand on his shoulder, Eggsy finally smiled, his chin ducked down to hide a mischievous grin. He felt special, having an adult who wanted to be friends with him and help him. A posh, smart one at that, one who was nice unlike some of his crotchety neighbors who yelled at him and told him he was a stupid bothersome child. "I'd give you mine, but you already know it's Unwin, so. I guess, um... one thing you don't know, my official name is Gary. On the legal paperwork and the like. But don't call me that, ok? It just sounds weird."

Harry laughed softly at that. "On my honour, I shall only refer to you as Eggsy Unwin. Unless you grow up to be the next James Bond or some such, in which case I will still call you Eggsy I suppose since it certainly wouldn't do to give away your code name now would it?" Harry gave the boy a cheeky grin and ushered him inside the car. 

Once they were settled and the heat was back on, Harry pulled out of the drive and they made their way down the softly lit streets of south Kensington. He couldn't help glancing at the boy beside him. Every time a street lamp illuminated Eggsy's features, even slumped tiredly in the seat as he was, Eggsy drew his eye. More beautiful than a work of art, with the shadows dipping into the curve of his mouth and the light painting his lashes like a bright halo around his eyes, Eggsy was astonishing. 

Eggsy curled up against the seat happily, enjoying the luxury of heated seats - something he'd never experienced before. In truth, the seats were both comfortable and a little disturbing, since the warmth on his backside only reminded him of the magazines he had waiting for him at home. And, embarassingly, of the number of times he'd snuck a look at his host's backside, guiltily pondering why he was so attracted to the male physique and what on earth he was supposed to do about it when everyone would expect him to find a nice bird and settle down. Eggsy shifted just thinking about it.

All too soon, the brick walls and manicured lawns of Kensington fell away into a more familiar neighborhood of council housing, pubs, and train tracks. Harry pulled over to the kerb and Eggsy found himself strangely reluctant to leave the warmth and the safe feeling of the car. He'd have to climb back up into his bedroom window from the train tracks, most likely, and deal with Michelle's moods and hangover in the morning, all in a sharp contrast to the plush warmth he'd just come from. "Well... g'night, then, I guess."

Harry glanced uncertainly up at the estates before he shut off the car. "Let me make certain you get back inside in one piece. I saw that rope contraption you used to get down." He didn't particularly like the thought of Eggsy climbing back up it, even if the boy was small enough to carry his own weight. Harry dug out the parking permit and got out of the car before Eggsy could protest. Instead, Eggsy was forced to follow close behind. 

"I've done it before. Never fallen once." Harry didn't relent. Eggsy sighed and followed him down the empty gravel path next to the train tracks. Nothing could be heard but their scuffing against the small rocks and the distant sounds of the city around them. After a few minutes they came to the right spot, a makeshift rope of linens still hanging out from Eggsy's window. The boy rolled his eyes at Harry's look of concern and grabbed onto the line, pulling himself up with a quickness Harry hadn't anticipated.

Harry raised his eyebrows, but took the opportunity to place a hand at the small of Eggsy's back as the boy began to climb. "I...stand corrected," Harry laughed softly as the boy quickly slipped from his touch and he let his hand fall. Harry stayed below him though, wanting to be there just in case Eggsy should fall. He could see it wasn't needed though. Eggsy truly had surpassed Harry's expectations even with his proficiency in handstands. 

The boy's small form shimmied up the line to his window and crawled inside. After a second, the white cloth began being pulled back through the casement, rapidly retreating until it was no longer in sight. The tail end had just disappeared when Eggsy leaned back out, grinning and giving Harry a wave. He couldn't risk shouting down, but the gesture said everything all the same.

Harry grinned up at him in return and waved back before he shook his head and made his way back to the car. Every step he took felt lighter than the one before it until the door closed behind him and Harry knew he was going home without the boy. Still, what they'd had had been a very good night. Better in fact than Harry had hoped for and one that he hadn't had to engineer directly. It left him feeling giddy, anticipation humming under his skin as he drove back down to Kensington through the darkened streets, imagining what Eggsy was doing now. Harry couldn't wait to see whether the boy had stayed up, whether he seemed as giddy as Harry felt, or whether he'd simply collapsed into bed, too exhausted from the night to stay up any longer. 

Harry didn't bother with the dishes or straightening the living room. He draped his coat over the rack and headed straight for his office. 

The camera history showed a flurry of activity. Eggsy had neglected to sneak out and brush his teeth, not wanting to wake his mother. Instead, he'd stripped and donned his pajamas, a show all in itself, completely unselfconcious from his ignorance of the cameras dotting his room. The lines of his body, all pale skin and small, aroused cock nestled between his legs, were haunting.

Routine had followed afterwards. Eggsy wedged his desk chair under the doorknob and dug out his stolen magazines, but this time he didn't stop at the pictures he'd looked at before. He'd paged through the issue, scanning page after page, frustration pulling his mouth into a thin line. Towards the end of the magazine he seemed to find what he was looking for: a titillating shot of a model in formal clothing, shirt unbuttoned and tie in the middle of being pulled off. Eggsy had ducked under his covers, the edge of one hand stuffed into his mouth to muffle the sounds, and jacked himself off to climax in a matter of minutes.

"Good lord," Harry breathed into the palm he'd pressed against his mouth. If there had been any doubt in his mind that Eggsy was attracted to him.... It made his own cock twitch in his trousers. He half wanted to drive straight back and throw stones at Eggsy's window like a schoolboy himself, demand that Eggsy return and spend the night, that it shouldn't have had to end with the boy longing for Harry's touch just as Harry longed to touch him. 

Harry palmed himself through his trousers and let his imagination run with the idea of taking Eggsy home again, sitting beside him on the sofa, this time turning, running his fingers through the boy's hair, leaning in to kiss him when Eggsy turned questioning eyes Harry's way. He imagined what it would be like to feel Eggsy's eager mouth against his, soft lips and small tongue. The fantasy quickly progressed to Harry laying the boy out over the sofa, ridding him of his ridiculous clothes, pressing him down, pressing into him, feeling Eggsy's small body beneath him opening up for Harry, pushing inside the tight heat of him. It would hurt Eggsy, Harry knew, the boy was so small, but Harry could ignore it in this little daydream. 

He imagined Eggsy's hands clutching the back of his neck, the back of his shirt, whimpering and wanting more. Harry undid his trousers and took himself in hand, remembering what it had been like to have the boy beside him, to feel the softness of his hair and melding it with the imaginary Eggsy he could sink into over and over again with every squeeze and twist of his hand. 

Harry came into his palm with a shudder. The intensity of it winded him. It took him moments more to come down from the high and regain his composure. Enough for his eye to catch a message from Merlin blinking at the corner of his screen. 

_Tailor shop. Now._ Merlin's message could mean one of two things - that an emergency had cropped up that required all hands on deck, or that his own concern about the situation had spurred him into needing another conversation. Either way, Harry couldn't very well ignore the summons.

He shut the laptop with the camera feed with great reluctance. It didn't truly matter; the devices laced through the Unwin household would let him watch everything that had transpired at his leisure. Harry simply craved more of Eggsy's presence. Perhaps that was a warning sign, that he was so attached to the boy already that he felt like he wanted to neglect his duties for even the frustrating pleasure of watching Eggsy from a distance.

Harry truly hoped Merlin's summons wasn't about the boy, but he forced himself to stand and pull himself together. He cleaned up and redressed in suit and tie before donning his jacket and heading, for the third time that night, out to his car. 

Minutes later he arrived at Savile Road, parked, and walked at a brisk pace up to the tailor shop. Very rarely was Harry ever truly nervous as he entered those polished doors, even when he knew he might never make it back through them again the following morning, but this time he felt a flutter of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. This could be personal, and Harry never liked it when work turned personal. 

Fortunately for Harry, it wasn't. Merlin had promptly ambushed him in the secreted interior of the shop, requesting assistance for a mission that involved a red-eye trip out to Switzerland to thwart dangerous intellectual property theft and kidnapping that may have put sophisticated scientific weaponry in the wrong hands. The mission was straightforward enough, but Harry found his thoughts drifting to Eggsy throughout, wondering in particular whether the boy had missed him. His mobile didn't ring for the duration of the night and day after, and Merlin began to give him more frequent looks.

They were holed up in a bunker for when Merlin finally broached the subject. Their guns were out, dismantled for a regular cleaning before they went in to neutralize their target's base. "...you're distracted. You're thinking about that Unwin boy again."

Harry didn't pause at the comment, seated on a cot with his back to the wall and a Glock in his hand and Merlin at his side, he did not feel particularly jumpy. Even if what the man said was true. 

"Mm, I suppose I am," Harry confessed. "I didn't get a chance to tell you last night, but I wound up inviting him over to my house. Nothing special, just a movie," Harry's mouth twitched up when he caught the wary flash of Merlin's eye. "His mother hasn't been well since she lost her husband," Harry explained, dropping a new magazine into the weapon and setting it aside before he reached for another. "From what I gather, he feels the need to escape the house whenever they get into a row or she gets into the bottle. New boyfriend now, too. We'll see how long that lasts."

"How long that lasts with manufactured confrontations, no doubt," Merlin huffed, running an oilcloth over pieces of the weapon before snapping then back together and testing the find gun's loading. Satisfied, he inserted a new magazine and set it aside. "Galahad? I didn't think I'd ever be in a position to say this, and I doubt I'll be put into the position again by anyone but yourself. We need your focus. If it's a matter of your needs being met to make that happen, then fuck the boy, for god’s sake. Do it discreetly, and in a manner that we can minimize the amount of damage control we have to do, but _do it_ if that's what it takes to put you back on your game and away from this wool-headed pining."

Harry laughed. He couldn't help it. He put the lower half of the rifle he was holding down, pinched the bridge of his nose, and laughed. He could feel Merlin's eyes on him, probably caught somewhere between disbelief and annoyance, and that just made it funnier. Harry did have the presence of mind not to be too loud about it, however. 

"It's not that simple." Harry sighed, catching his breath and picking up the gun again. "I want...more than that. I don't want one night with him and then...and then to break off contact completely." Harry frowned in distaste. He could imagine how such a thing would go. Easily. Merlin was right, he could do it now. Eggsy liked him enough. Eggsy would even be willing, but then when Harry left, when Harry didn't see him again, or even if Harry tried to keep their friendship going but had to hide from Michelle, all the secrecy.... Eggsy's high regard for him wouldn't last that way. Harry sighed, daring to glance in the other man's direction, feeling the way he watched Harry silently. "I want to keep him, Merlin. I want to have him and keep him both." 

Merlin huffed in frustration or disgust. Harry wasn't sure which. "And here I thought you weren't the sentimental type. I suppose it explains the previous lack of one night stands, doesn't it? No matter." Another firearm made it out of Merlin's duffel. He snapped it open and began dismantling it, cleaning each component one by one with practiced hands. "So do it. What's stopping you? Do you know how easy it is to bring a case for child abuse or neglect in this country? Approach it like you would with a client. Analyze your leverage points and the weaknesses involved. Strategize. It'd be a fair shot easier to pull a boy into protection services and rehome him with you that it would be to have to deal with damage control for a case of molestation."

"A very good point. I'm so glad you came up with it all on your own," Harry gave the other man a cheeky smile. "Now I won't have to convince you to offer your services in such a complicated legal endeavour." Merlin cast his eyes to the ceiling and Harry couldn't stop grinning. "But first thing was first--I had to get him to like me. Now, well, let's just say it's safe to say that he does and I have the recordings to prove it." Harry snapped the last of his weapons together and reached for the towel to clean his hands. It felt strangely good to be talking with Merlin like this, so candidly. Even with the man looking as put-upon as he was, Harry couldn't help a small swell of pride. 

"Say that he does, and that I don't still feel a twinge of misgivings for doubting the nobility of your intent and affections," Merlin countered. "There's still the matter of bringing suit, providing the court a suitably unsuspicious and appealing alternative to his blood relatives, and breaking the news to the rest of Kingsman. Funds won't be an issue, but I hope you're not counting on the boy's testimony overmuch to tilt things in your favor. Juries rarely listen to anyone below the age of majority regardless of whether they're professing confidence in a guardian or testifying about abuse."

Harry nodded, sobering somewhat. "It'll help that his father is dead and the only other living relative is his mother's sister, a woman whom I am quite sure does not ever intend to raise children herself. Still, I can only imagine she would be the court's first choice should it come to that, but for her closeness to her sister. If the mother is deemed unfit, that angle could be used against the sister. The fact that I was a friend of the deceased father is one small point in my favour. Michelle will fight it of course. Doubly so once she realizes who I am." Harry leaned back against the cold concrete wall. He didn't know why, but he felt the need to defend her. Fair was fair. "She was a wonderful mother when I first met her. By the time this is all over I will have single handedly done her more hardship than should ever be incurred upon one person."

"We both know life has nothing to do with what is fair." Merlin snapped another magazine shut, set the gun aside, and dug out a blade and an oilstone. There was no telling what was coming, and it paid to be prepared with a well-tuned arsenal. "We're not in this business to perpetuate justice and fairness, or else we'd be bringing down our own employers and the whole bloody system. Some endure more suffering than others, deserved or not. That's the way the world is."

The rasp of metal against stone rang out in the enclosed space. It would have been irritating but for how accustomed Harry was to the sound; as it was, it was comforting. It meant he had someone competent at his back. "Mothers aren't as favored for custody as one might think. Particularly if found guilty of something the jury would find abhorrent. If such a leverage point doesn't already exist, planting one is simple enough for an agent of your skill."

"I'll look into it." Harry brought himself out of his reverie. "Possibly, the boyfriend's involvement could be used, depending on his character. If not, we can think of engineering something." As distasteful as Harry found the notion, and Merlin knew it, Harry wasn't above it. 

With that, however, his mind was freed of much of the wool-gathering Merlin had found so troublesome. He tossed aside the rag and got back to the logistics plans they'd drawn up hours earlier. Merlin seemed all the more thankful for it. Harry was glad to have the man on his side, confident in it now in a way he hadn't fully been before. 

Hours passed swiftly after that, in a medley of adrenaline, gunfire, and, surprisingly, one very well placed poison. Thankfully, the hostages they'd been sent to retrieve were intact and only a little worse for wear. This wouldn't be an experience they would forget, but they'd live to vote and arrange deals another date, much to the irritation of opposing political figures who'd paid to have them discreetly removed from the picture.

Soon enough, cleanup had been left in others' hands, and Merlin and Harry had retired to the plane they'd flown in on. Merlin was at the controls again, as Harry had never bothered training up his piloting skills. He left the cockpit door open, calling back over his shoulder every now and then to maintain conversation. "Enough excitement for you for one night?"

"You know me, Merlin," Harry called back with eye on the lightening ground below. "Never satisfied until all my projects are squared away." He let a touch of mirth colour his voice. In truth, after they'd talked Harry had thrown himself back into their work with single minded focus, enough for Merlin not to have brought it up again. Enough for the agent to have realized, too, that his allowing Harry to confide in him had helped. 

Now, however, Harry was going to go home, catch up on some much needed sleep, and check right back up on the Unwin boy. It had been just over 24 hours since he'd heard from Eggsy, and Harry figured he ought to reassure the boy that Harry wasn't having second thoughts about their new found friendship. 

Merlin glanced over his shoulder, noted Harry's fatigued expression, and fell silent. He knew the other man would sneak in a cat nap if allowed, and so Merlin let him. Harry had assisted enough for one night.

The thrum of the engine vibrated through the plane's hull, but even that wasn't enough to keep Harry awake. Metallic wings swept them both across the landscape and several bodies of water, and a few hours later they descended onto a little strip outside of London. Harry was already roused and alert again when Merlin finished shutting down the engine and making his way back into the passenger cabin.

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Harry cleared his throat, stood, and straightened his jacket. Merlin pointedly did not say anything about the nap, but Harry caught what might have been a tug at the corner of his lip as they stepped out onto the grounds of Kingsman headquarters. 

"If you don't need anything else from me this morning, I'll retire home for the time being and you'll have my report on your desk by the end of the day," Harry said as they made their way toward the manor, passing techs coming to refit and refuel the plane. He didn't pretend Merlin didn't know why he would rather spend his free time at home these days when he'd been just as likely to write up his reports in his office at headquarters before, but it wasn't unusual for the agents to get out of there as soon as possible either. Especially when they hadn't slept properly.

"Nothing else," Merlin confirmed with one raised brow. He knew, and he didn't bother to hide his skepticism that Harry would be promptly retiring to catch up on sleep. "Just don't dawdle on the report. Arthur may want to review it, and we don't want him to decide that professionalism is slipping and that things need more oversight, now do we?"

Merlin didn't wait for Harry to respond, simply turned on his heel to head towards his own office. Rude, but understandable. Harry had put him into what could potentially be an awkward situation. Merlin had proven willing to cover for them for the sake of their friendship and working relationship, such as it was, but he didn't have to be pleased about it or the earlier attempt at deception.

Still Harry had faith he could get the man to come around. ...eventually. He gave a small sigh and took the long corridors down to the tube. Other agents nodded to him as they passed. It was customary to greet a knight recently back from a mission, but not impede their progress with formality. Always posh, never inefficient. 

Harry jotted down half his report on the ride back. He decided to finish it just as soon as he checked up on Eggsy.


	4. Chapter 4

The house was cold when Harry opened the door. He'd forgotten to set the thermostat before he'd left. It seemed strange, too, that it also felt...empty. Harry sighed again as he toed off his shoes and set his coat on the rack, folding his ledger beneath his arm. He was not sentimental. Not at all. He could have laughed. Harry did not appreciate having something to be sentimental about, apparently. 

He poured himself a glass of water and went straight to the office. 

The world had not fallen to pieces in his absence. For the better, no doubt, as he wouldn't have been in a position to have remedied anything while off on a mission, but it felt anticlimactic to retrieve the footage recorded while he was away only to find nothing out of the ordinary. Eggsy had disrobed, redressed, and promptly gone to sleep, sprawled out peacefully across the mattress without distress or interruption. He'd begrudgingly awoken and prepared for school at his mother's slightly hung-over wake up call, and that had been that.

Hours had passed, Eggsy had returned, eaten supper and done his schoolwork, and listened to music on a beat-up secondhand walkman before turning in again. Now that it had progressed to Saturday, Michelle seemed to be open to letting the boy sleep in. The sun wasn't close to noon by any means, but Eggsy made quite a sight in the yellow sunlight streaming in through the windowpane. He'd kicked half his covers off in his sleep, and tossing and turning had pulled his pajamas closer to his body than their loose cut was intended. 

Harry decided to leave the camera on that image while he finished up the rest of his report. The sun was shining through the crack in his own window curtains, but Harry might as well have been a world apart from the little figure lying in bed on his monitor. As tired as he was, he would have loved to slip in next to Eggsy, to lie there with the boy no matter how ridiculous it would be. Or even better yet, to crawl into his own bed with the boy there instead, to open the drapes for once and let the light in and bury his nose in the short hairs at the back of Eggsy's neck. 

Harry sat back in his chair and watched the boy drift in and out of sleep. He didn't realize his eyes were closing until he opened them, cheek pressed to a page of his ledger and the computer's clock before him declaring three hours had passed.

Eggsy was just beginning to stir, finally roused by a full bladder and an empty stomach. The boy stretched, baring a smooth stretch of neck for a second, and rolled out of bed. Clothes were plucked out of the dresser and tucked under one arm, and then he padded off to the bathroom for relief and a shower.

Harry's eyes were glued to the screen, following the progress through the cameras. Eggsy shut the door of the bathroom for privacy, oblivious to the fact that privacy was now an illusion in the Unwin household. Pajamas were unceremoniously slipped off and dumped in a pile on the floor beside his clean clothes. The call of nature took only a few seconds, and then Eggsy was bent over, turning on the shower taps and stepping into the spray.

Harry blinked and peeled the page away from his cheek after he righted himself. He was suddenly and fully awake. Between the camera situated inside one bamboo rung of the towel rack, positioned at waist height on Harry, chest height on Eggsy, and another in the base of a potpourri box, Harry had the small space of the room covered. 

He wiped a hand over his face and took a sip of water, settling in with his heart thumping in anticipation. The way Eggsy bent.... Harry had to save that clip. Hell, he wouldn't mind framing it next to the newspapers on his wall. 

Eggsy straightened up, eyes closed while the water ran over his face, and slicked his hair back. A bar of soap was fished out of a little metal holder and the boy began scrubbing himself. White lather quickly built up and clung to his skin, but even that sight wasn't what had captured the bulk of Harry's attention.  
Eggsy was hard. His small cock was rigid and the boy already had plans. He'd glanced at the door and, after a quick rinse, reached for the soap again to slick up his hands. A moment later he was leaning back against the shower tile, legs spread in a wide stance for ease of balance, fingers already wrapping around his shaft.

Harry closed his eyes for only a second as he sat transfixed to the spot. This boy was going to be the death of him. Overexertion. If only he could blame it on the mission. Collapsed at his desk with a hand down his trousers was not the way he hoped to be found when that day came. Merlin would probably leave him like that out of spite. 

Yet Harry could no more stop the growing hardness between his legs than he could stop the sun rising outside. He pressed a palm to his crotch as he watched Eggsy work. The boy had been quick about it the few times Harry had, well _almost_ had, witnessed this before. Harry didn't dare let his eyes wander from the slide of Eggsy's fingers over his small shaft, until squeezing it between them drew the boy's mouth open and Harry's gaze up with it. He could just make out the small gasp Eggsy made through the speakers.

The exuberance of youth was such that Eggsy wouldn't last long. Boys didn't, not when they first started exploring sex. They didn't know how to pace themselves, how to draw the experience out, using different strokes and pressure and their own thoughts to make the pleasure go on and on, riding just on the edge of climax. In the beginning, it was all about quickness - frantic strokes, desperate for a bit of relief from hormones that threatened to bring madness, and a refraction time that would forever make them envy their younger self once they were older.

Eggsy's hand moved quickly, arched back against the tile. Harry could barely blink, just watching him. He had a feeling that it would be the same later, when he replayed the recording again and again.

Harry squeezed his dick harder, hissing through his teeth. He had to stop doing this. Every time Eggsy felt the need to indulge himself..... Except. Harry really _didn't_ need to stop doing this. His mission and report were finished. The day was his. He'd barely slept. He still felt groggy and he needed a shower himself, but Eggsy was such a vision on his monitor that none of that mattered. 

Harry found his hand on the screen, feeling static electricity catch at his fingers. He wondered if Eggsy would like the feel of that upon his bare skin as much as he liked the hot water rolling down his body. Harry may have been trained in electrical torture, but it wouldn't take much effort to dial down the voltage, build up a light static charge, and run it along Eggsy's body. Perfectly safe. He wondered if the boy would look like he did now, with his eyes shut and his mouth open, beautiful and radiant with skin as soft and smooth as the water itself. 

Eggsy's chest suddenly expanded in a gasp. His hips canted forward against his hand, his fingers tightened, and he shuddered. Droplets rolled down his face and dripped from parted lips, but there was nothing to wash away but soap lather. The boy was too young for that yet - old enough to feel the heady drive of lust and release, but not the bodily fluids. 

Eggsy stayed still for a minute, perhaps two, catching his breath and soaking in the heat from the water. A hand thumped against the bathroom door, and Eggsy jumped. "...almost done, just a second!" He turned the silver fixture with a squeak and then stepped out of the cracked porcelain tub. He dried in record time and dressed just as quickly.

Harry got up and went to take care of his own problem in his own shower. He shed his clothes as he went, bothering only to drape them over the towel rack before he stepped under the scalding spray. The heat soothed the fuzziness in his head, but did nothing for the erection between his legs. Harry's hand went there first, remembering Eggsy so clearly, just like he was standing now with his head under the spray and water running over his shoulders. 

Harry turned into it, imagining Eggsy was there as he had been, removed from the tacky old bathtub of his flat and placed here in Harry's house instead. Harry imagined bending over the boy, crowding him back against the wall. He imagined wrapping Eggsy's small hand around himself, stroking slow and tight. The boy would be startled at the size of it, so different from his own. Harry imagined lifting Eggsy up, rutting between his thighs, letting the water provide the slickness he needed. 

Harry came over the wall like that. The fuzz in his head melted away and left only warm bliss in its wake. He let himself soak up the spray for a long time before he lathered himself down, washed his hair, and got out of the shower to perform the rest of his daily routine. 

He knew he wasn't going to try to sleep again. He would have to do without. Harry had work to do today. 

When he made it back to the cameras, Eggsy had already finished breakfast and gone out. The flat was empty.

A quick review of the camera feeds showed the boy running off to one of the other flats down the way. Two older boys answered, looking quite pleased and like they had expected him. The teens grabbed backpacks and skateboards - three of them - and they headed as a group down the stairs. Following them afterwards was a trick, but not too difficult. The authorities in London had been busy expanding CCTV coverage throughout the city, and those feeds were relatively uncomplicated to crack. Harry tracked the boys to the nearest Underground station and watched them consult the map and timetables before making their selection.

Waterloo station. They had to be headed to Southbank, and from the look of the backpacks, planned to make a day of it. Southbank was particularly famous for skating and, much to the irritation of the nearby populace, the things that came with the skaters it attracted: rubbish, graffiti, petty theft and busking.  
Harry cracked a smile. He kept an eye on that camera, but once he was fairly certain he knew what Eggsy would be up to for the next several hours, Harry got to work. 

Investigating Michelle Unwin's affairs was a relatively simple task. She didn't own very much. No real estate, only a bit of savings left over from her deceased parents--really it had been no wonder the shock of her husband's death hit so hard. She had no one but her son and her sister, and that relationship had been straining more and more ever since Lee had passed. Public records revealed the sister rented as well, although it was easy to see she was far better off financially, holding down a steady job at a law office and having no dependents to provide for. From what Harry had seen of her, he was certain she was the sort of person who planned to keep it that way. If things started to go bad for Michelle, she would be the first person to call. Harry could be certain, however, the sister could provide little help to Michelle for what he had coming. 

Dean on the other hand, would play a crucial role in Harry's plan. The man held down a steady job at an auto shop halfway between the flat he rented with a friend and Michelle. From the amount of time he was spending at Michelle's, and the way the man's flatmate chronically missed his payments, Harry could see where Dean set his sights on staying. Between the two of them, Dean had far more friends. A fairly solid network of them in fact, but few outside of the estates. 

Harry decided his first goal would be to test the strength of Michelle's new relationship. Dean had faired better than the last man she dated, but after witnessing a few recorded fights between them, Harry had to wonder at his character all the same. 

He started with something small. With a quick call to Merlin, Harry gained access to Michelle's bank accounts and, knowing she was due to pay her boyfriend back for their last night out at the pub, made a very inconvenient withdrawal.

The move paid off about two hours later, when Michelle arrived back home with one angry boyfriend in tow. "Look, it doesn't matter. It's on the receipt from the clerk, right? So even if I don't have enough in the account to withdraw now, it looks like I did it already. I must've. Probably forgot it under a stack of bills on the table or something. So let's just _look_."

" _Forgot_ it. Right. You forgot a stack of quid." Dean glowered and followed Michelle into the kitchen, watching her start to dig through the mess piled upon the table. His hands clenched. "Did you leave it out where yer boy could see it? Wouldn't put it past him to grab it an-"

"Eggsy would _never_ ," Michelle interrupted, glancing up at Dean with wide, angry eyes. "He's a good boy, he understands money is tight right now."

"And yet you was just sayin' yesterday that he's been hanging out with a bunch of hooligans down the way, worrying that they were gonna teach him to smoke and get into drugs. Maybe they've been teachin' him more than that. Isn't that who he's with now? Maybe he decided he needed some extra quid for their outing into the City."

"Eggsy is _not_ a thief," Michelle insisted, straightening up and dropping the stack of papers she'd been flipping through. "There's not a chance he took it. He knows where I keep my purse and money's never gone missing before."

"Doesn't mean it'll never start." Dean crossed his arms. "So, what. It doesn't look like it's here, and you say your boy didn't take it, so where's it gone to, then? Did you 'lose' it all at the offie?"

Harry set down his pen and folded his hands beneath his chin. Michelle and Dean continued to move around the flat, going through piles of junk and papers, no closer to finding the missing cash. It didn't help that Harry had remembered the exact amount she'd owed Dean from their last trip to the pub. She was convinced she must have taken it out, but he could read nothing but absolute confusion upon her face as she went. Dean steadily grew angrier. 

Eventually, Michelle did move to Eggsy's room, unable to avoid Dean's prodding when they had no luck with the rest of the flat. Just as Harry knew she would, however, she came up empty handed fifteen minutes later. 

Empty handed, at least, in terms of money. While Dean had poked around with the drawers and stacks of school papers on Eggsy's desk, Michelle had gotten onto her knees, looking to see if she'd dropped the money out of her pockets while gathering up dirty linens and things from the bedroom. She'd spotted a box she'd never noticed under the bed before and, after pulling it out and peeking under the lid, gone pale. It hadn't taken but a second to recognize her old magazines and realize what they probably meant. It hadn't taken long, either, to glance at the rest of the box's contents and estimate that they were of more value than the sum of the pocket money Eggsy had gotten over the last several months.

Michelle had put the top back on, shoved the box back under the bed, and called off the search once she'd gotten to her feet. "It's not here. I'll keep looking, but if I can't find it, I'll just pay you back on my next paycheck."

"That ain't good enough!" Dean's expression was stormy, and Michelle found herself backing up into the living room. "You know what my flatmate's like. What if I can't come up with this month's rent, 'cause of this? I'll be out on the street, they won't let me sleep at the shop, and fat chance of finding someone else to let a flat to me if I get a recent eviction mark on my record!" He reached out to grab Michelle's sleeve, and she flinched.

"It-... it'll work out. I'll try to cut a few corners, see if any of the girls at work will lend me a bit. We'll work it out. If you get kicked out of your flat, you can stay here."

Dean made a sound of disgust that wasn't quite agreement and let go, stalking off to the door and slamming it behind him. Michelle rubbed at her arm and rolled back her sleeve. Bruises were already starting to form.

Harry sat back in his chair. Apart from the discovery of Eggsy's little stash of contraband, that had gone about as well as he'd expected. He brought up the CCTV footage of Eggsy and his mates, still down at Southbank. They'd found another group of kids to mingle with and only a third of them were still skating. Eggsy was interacting well enough with the others, in spite of being one of the youngest boys there. Harry could only infer that the kids he'd gone with did in fact appreciate his company. They were familiar faces by now and Eggsy wasn't shy in their presence. In spite of his age, and even though Harry didn't have audio confirmation, he could tell the boy was very adept at making the others laugh. 

It would be some time before they were home again, and that meant Michelle had time to stew over what she'd found. 

Harry had to busy himself with other things for several hours, stopping now and then to check in on the cameras. Eggsy was far more interesting to watch, interacting with the older boys and letting them teach him some skating moves before they all walked down the street for a bite to eat. Michelle wandered the apartment, tidying and continuing to look for the lost money and, at one point, going back into Eggsy's room to go through his box.

She made a decision. Her mouth set in a thin line and she picked the entire box up, moving it to the kitchen table. She and Eggsy were going to have a talk, and Michelle didn't appear to be looking forward to it.

Some hours later, after Eggsy and his friends took the Underground back and said their goodbyes, Harry sat at his desk and watched the boy make his way up the stairs to the flat. Eggsy had barely got through the door and called to Michelle to let her know he was home when she stood and came out of the kitchen.

"Gary, we need to talk."

Eggsy looked up at her and immediately stiffened. The look on her face, the way her arms crossed over her chest, were just as damning as the way she used his real name. 

It was Michelle who broke eye contact first. She turned back to the kitchen but knew Eggsy would follow. And he did. It didn't take more than two steps for the boy to see what had happened. There on the table sat the box he'd hidden away so carefully under his bed, lid set aside and a few of the items sitting in front of it. 

Michelle sat down behind it and looked at her son expectantly. "Do you want to tell me what this is?"  
Eggsy froze. Harry could tell from the look on his face, captured perfectly in the cameras, that he hadn't expected to get caught. He'd felt like his room was a safe place, and so anything hidden within was not at risk. "Um... just some stuff, y'know? My mates, they know I don't get stuff very often, so... sometimes they get me things. As presents, 'cause we're friends and everything."

Eggsy glanced down at the items that weren't explainable as 'gifts' and flinched - it was unlikely that his friends would buy him adult magazines meant for women, and dated from several years ago no less. Eggsy swallowed, trying desperately to think up some way to dismiss them, but he had nothing. Michelle had to know that they were hers, had to recognize them, and so she had to know what his borrowing of them meant. The boy's complexion grew paler and paler as fear took over.

She pushed aside a few new toys, sports memorabilia, playing cards, candy, her face still set into a frown. It was a lot for even a few kids to spend on Eggsy and it was plain what Michelle thought. She took a small breath before looking back up at her son, ignoring the magazines for the moment. "I took out some cash, I don't remember when but it was meant to pay back Dean." She bit her lip and thought about her next words. "Noticed it missin' today. You know anything about that?" 

That hadn't been what Eggsy had expected her to say. His eyes locked onto her, shocked. "What? No! I've never taken money from you, why would you think I would? I've always asked if I've needed stuff for school and things!" Michelle still looked skeptical, and the boy only became more upset in response. "What, is this because you don't like my friends, is that what this is about again? I'm not falling into some bad crowd, I'm not doing drugs, I'm not stealing money! I didn't even know you had money, 'cause I never look in your purse, not like you look in my room!"

She stared at him for a moment longer before she gave a small nod. Harry saw the guilt in her face. Eggsy might have missed it had he not been such an observant young boy, but Harry expected that he hadn't. Still, Michelle didn't cave. "I believe you. You've never stolen from me before. But...I was lookin' for that money when I found this. And...." She glanced down to the box and didn't seem to know what to say. "Eggsy..." Her eyes finally wandered to the magazines and she looked like she wanted to avoid it nearly as much as her son did. "You shouldn't have these," she finally said quietly, her tone firm. 

The boy shifted nervously, suddenly back to avoiding Michelle's eyes. For a moment it seemed likely that he was going to run for it, either to his room or out the door, but Eggsy was smart enough to know that wouldn't solve anything. Might even make things worse. When he licked his lips and finally found the nerve to speak again, his voice was a lot quieter than his passionate denials of thievery. "Didn't mean anything by it. I was going to give them back," he mumbled.

Michelle frowned. Her whole face set into a hard, distressed kind of tension, barely an expression at all. She dumped the candy and the toys back into the box and pushed it toward Eggsy, but not the magazines. Even the assorted sports issues. For a moment more she seemed to chew on her next words before she spoke. "I don't.... I don't like you having these. Never mind you're much too young anyway. And Dean could have found it." Her mouth set and she gathered them together before she stood. "You can put the rest away, but I don't want to find you stealing any more junk. I'm getting rid of this." 

Michelle went to the front door with the small stack under her arm, avoiding Eggsy's eyes as she passed, and slipped outside. 

Eggsy grabbed the box and bolted for his room. He didn't even try to keep the panic, shame, and anger from his face, not now that Michelle wasn't there to see it. He shoved the box back under his bed and shut the bedroom door. After a moment of pacing he grabbed the desk chair and wedged it under the handle again.

Only after he felt a modicum of safety did Eggsy start to cry. Not aloud, but his emotions began spilling over his cheeks, droplet by droplet. Eggsy snatched up his rubber ball from his desk and hurled it against the wall with as much force as he could muster, only to rethink it a second later upon hearing the loud thump it made against the plaster. He didn't want to give Michelle an excuse to confront him again, nor a nagging about dents in the walls.

The boy ran his fingers through his hair, huffed out a breath, and grabbed the rope he kept on hand for climbing out of the window.

Harry watched it all with tea in hand. Eggsy was a skilled climber. Harry had to switch to the CCTV feeds as soon as he was out the window. The sun was on its way down, but there was enough light left to see the small form of Eggsy well enough climbing down the wall. The boy's feet hit the ground just as Michelle re-entered the flat, magazines gone from her hands. She took one glance at his door and put her hand to her forehead, shoulders heaving in a deep breath. 

Although Harry assumed she might check on the boy later, Michelle went to her own room for now. She closed the door behind her and changed into more comfortable clothes, her expression robotic. 

Eggsy left without a thought to where he was going. He pulled up the top of his hoodie to obscure his features. It wouldn't do much good, as anyone who saw his short stature and small frame would assume he was a young boy out later than he should be and unattended, but at least it would keep people from recognizing his face. He jogged along the rocky strip beside the train tracks, just wanting to get away from the flat and his confrontation with his mother as fast as he could.

What he couldn't get away from were his limitations, or his own feelings. Eggsy's shoulders were slumped in every camera angle Harry accessed, and there really wasn't anywhere the boy could go. Eggsy reached Abbey Road and stopped, looking up and down the street. He didn't have the money to go sit and hide in a coffee shop for a bit, and even if he had, the staff would have treated him funny and maybe called the Met on him. He couldn't keep walking until he got to the Kilburn Library Centre, as that had already closed. Randolph Gardens and Paddington Ground were both too far for him to want to walk. He was stuck.

Eggsy did the next best thing for a small boy who wanted to be out of the house and alone: he turned around, descended the little hill, and tucked himself in the concrete space under the Abbey Road bridge.  
Harry had to shift between cameras several times to find him again. And frustratingly enough, he could only make out the boy partially--a mere shadow, silhouetted in the distance. 

Harry glanced at his phone and then at the time. He would have to wait a little longer. Wait until the sun went down a little more, until the hour struck. It wouldn't do to call too soon after Eggsy had left. Too coincidental. Normally, Harry would have determined the boy would need to call him on his own at least twice before it was acceptable for Harry to call him first, but Harry did have a reason now. Eggsy had been distressed and fighting with his mother just a day ago. It was perfectly reasonable that Harry should check up on him after the boy had been to his place. 

After another fifteen minutes passed, Harry picked up his phone and dialled Eggsy's mobile.   
Harry could just see the boy jump, startled by the sound. He almost ignored the phone, but after a moment he dug it out and looked at the screen. Once he recognized the number, Eggsy picked up immediately and stuck the phone to his ear. "...h-hey? Mister... um, Harry? Sorry, I forgot since I'd called you that you had this number. Supposed to be my emergency phone." Eggsy's voice was too thick, an obvious giveaway that he'd been upset and crying.

"Eggsy?" Harry turned his voice soft, startled. "Are you alright? I just wanted to check in on you, see if your mum was any better. You're not fighting again, are you?" Harry sat forward, concentrating on the call, on the cameras. He could see the way Eggsy's head lowered, the way he hunched in on himself at that even though Harry couldn't hear it over the phone. 

"...y-yeah. Um. She got all mad at me today." Eggsy's voice was still so soft; between that and the noise from the traffic on the road above him, Harry had a difficult time making out his words. "She lost some money somewhere, thought I took it for some reason, and ransacked my room lookin' through all of my stuff, then threw out some of the things I had she didn't like. 'Cause she was mad about the money, or the stuff I like, or my friends, _something_ , I dunno. Maybe all of it. I don't know what I'm gonna do now."

"She realises you didn't take it?" Harry asked. Eggsy gave a small sound of confirmation. "And that didn't stop her?" Harry pressed gently. "Sounds like you could present a reasonable case against her accusations, no? If she's upset your friends are having a bad influence on you because she assumed you stole from her when you've done no such thing, then she can hardly say that about your friends now can she?" The sound of a truck passed overhead and Harry had to wait a full five seconds before he could hear Eggsy on the other end again. "Did you leave the flat again?" Harry asked, knowing Eggsy couldn't say no. 

"Yeah. I didn't-... she might have wanted to yell at me more after she was done throwing my stuff out, and I just... I didn't want any more of that. And it's not like I can easily go buy replacements, and even if I did, she said stuff. I think she's going to keep going through my room and poking around anyway, even though I didn't steal her money, and chuckin' whatever she thinks is a _bad influence_ or something. I can't even have my own _stuff_." Eggsy picked up a loose bit of concrete and threw it. It made a satisfying crunch off in the distance as it hit the tracks. "Doesn't matter what I say. If it's reasonable. It don't matter. She'll do whatever she wants anyway."

Harry hummed in sympathy and let conversation rest for a moment, letting Eggsy hear him think, letting the boy gather his own thoughts and calm just a little. "What stuff of yours did she throw away?" he asked carefully, gently. As much as Eggsy had said, Harry would have been able to tell that was a sensitive issue even without the benefit of having witnessed the entire confrontation earlier. It was fairly clear that Michelle had either been so upset about the money that she'd let inconsequential issues get to her, or that there was a greater problem at hand. 

Eggsy was silent for several seconds. The only sound that made it through the receiver was the wind and the occasional rumble of traffic over the bridge. "Magazines, mostly. Some toys. Maybe she thought I stole them, since she was on about that so much. Sports stuff. She said she didn't like me having them."

Eggsy wasn't good at lying. Not at this age. He'd not perfected the art of bluffing without tells. Upset as he was, Harry could easily hear the strain in the boy's voice that told him that he was omitting something. He would have known that even had he not seen exactly what had happened.

Still all he did was hum in acknowledgement. If he planned this right, he would have time to ask later. For now, Eggsy would get a much needed break. 

"Eggsy?" Harry asked softly. "Could I come and pick you up? We could get something to eat. You know I'm not far and I don't like the thought of you being out alone when you're not with your friends." Harry knew the boy hadn't had a proper dinner, just chips with his mates earlier and that had been a little past lunchtime. He was bound to be hungry by now. 

Still, Eggsy hesitated. He didn't know Harry very well yet. Harry could practically hear the boy thinking, weighing that fact against the time they'd had before - at the coffee shop, and the movie night at Harry's home. At long last, Eggsy spoke again. "...yeah. I'm... well, I'm under Abbey Road. The little bridge by the tracks, y'know? I just didn't know where else to go. I don't have pocket money, lots of stuff is too far to walk, and I didn't want to bother my mates about this."

Harry suspected Eggsy might want to keep this fight from his mates due to its origin, or at least until Eggsy calmed down and could think of a better way to tell the story without giving himself away. 

"I'll be on my way then. You stay nearby, ok? And mind the road." Harry waited until he heard Eggsy's short huff of agreement before he hung up the phone. He made sure he had his mobile and locked the laptop before he left. 

This time, Harry didn't bother dressing down. He was still dressed far more casually than standard Kingsman wear, but in shirt cuffs and tie, suspenders, and jacket, he knew he looked quite a lot like the men Eggsy had been envisioning in that magazine. The one he had lost and would likely never see again. Better, even, for Harry was real.

Fifteen minutes later, Harry stepped out onto the kerb at Abbey Road, polished Oxfords catching easily upon the ground, ready to sweep up the boy like a real knight. 

Eggsy had emerged from his hiding place to wait for him. He looked up once Harry started to approach, the streetlight just managing to sneak under the edge of his hood and illuminate his features. Harry's instinct wasn't misplaced; Eggsy stared, full of shock, relief, gratitude, and a hint of something else that caused his eyes to trace along the tailored edges of Harry's silhouette and catch on finer details. He still looked on the edge of being spooked as Harry closed the distance.

Then Eggsy finished the job for him, abandoning any attempt to play it tough. The boy stumbled forward and embraced Harry around his waist, eyes shut tight.

Harry didn't waste any time hugging back. He folded both his arms around the boy and held tight. Eggsy had only his hoodie to keep him warm again and the boy felt chilled even if he didn't show it. Harry put a hand to the back of his head and marvelled at the softness of his hair before Eggsy looked up. Harry felt something inside him twist at that. He smiled, but he knew there was a touch of sadness in it. He knew that Eggsy would see it. It also wasn't faked. Harry may have engineered all this, but it still tugged at his heart to find the boy out here on the street like this, waiting for him. 

"It's good to see you again," Harry murmured. 

Eggsy nodded, doing his best to put on a brave face and mostly failing. He'd seen Harry's sad look, and he didn't want Harry to think of him as the pathetic kid he kept saving from his home life. Pity didn't feel good. "You too. You look, um, different, like this."

_Different_ didn't quite cut it, but it was close enough. Harry's fingers on his head, in his hair, felt strange, and Eggsy's hands tightened their hold on Harry's clothing. "Could we go? I've been out here a bit and I don't really want to stay here anymore."

"Yes, absolutely." Harry kept an arm around the boy as they walked back to his car. His fingers lingered, trailing along Eggsy's shoulder when he unlocked the door and let the boy climb in. After that, Harry didn't dawdle. He climbed in and pulled away from the kerb. Only briefly did he consider and discard the possibility of eating out. It would not impress the boy and Harry far preferred to have Eggsy in his home. Eggsy would prefer to be away from other people right now anyway. And it was earlier in the evening than the last time Eggsy had been there, fortunate for both of them. "I planned on having pasta for dinner tonight," Harry began without taking his eyes off the road. "What do you think?"

"That's fine. I'm not picky, but I like Italian stuff." Eggsy's stomach chose just that moment to growl, causing the boy to cringe in embarrassment and wrap his arms around his abdomen. "...sorry. Haven't eaten much today and I didn't really have time to grab anything. My mum started yelling at me right when I got back and I didn't stick around long enough to get food before I left. I didn't want to give her another chance to yell and ask me questions or accuse me of stuff."

Harry glanced over at him at that. He let a comforting hint of a smile grace his mouth. "Sounds like she wouldn't be in a mood to do much cooking tonight anyway. And fortunately for you, I am. And have no intention of accusing you of anything either." He caught the way Eggsy glanced at him, one quick look away from the window and back as if the boy were shy about it. He bet he could guess what Eggsy was thinking just then, wondering what Harry would say if he found out. Wondering if Harry would reject him or be uncomfortable with it like his mother had been. Harry didn't let himself react. He kept his eyes on the road and a warm expression on his face, anticipating the night to come. 

"Are you good at it? Cooking?" Eggsy was steering the conversation away from the fight and his mother's accusations, not wanting to risk finding out what Harry might think about it and about him. Not wanting to find out what he'd think about the Unwin family's poverty, either - that his mother would have been forced to cook regardless of how she felt, because they couldn't afford to eat out even at the cheapest place right now. If Michelle was so worried about money to pay Dean back that she was willing to consider that her own son had taken it, it meant things were _bad_.

"I like to think so." Harry went along with the conversation, happy for now to be lifting Eggsy's spirits if only by taking his mind off it. "But you'll have to be the judge of that." 

They drove on with only mild conversation, Harry elaborating on the kinds of pasta he preferred, before they arrived at the secluded little mew in South Kensington. When they got out, Eggsy still looked a little unsure of himself being there at Harry's doorstep, but Harry put a hand against his back once again and ushered the boy inside. 

It was just as it had been the last time Eggsy was there, softly lit and inviting with the homely touches Harry had added over the years. There were many items on the shelves and pictures on the wall Harry was fond of, aesthetically, or small trinkets he'd brought back from some other country, but very few of them were personal. 

Eggsy was fascinated regardless, wandering around and looking at everything he was tall enough to see while simultaneously trying not to appear too nosy. He seemed a bit more comfortable now that they were inside and away from whatever neighbors might be watching, but Eggsy's recent fight with his mother only put their differences into even starker contrast. Michelle Unwin constantly fretted about money, keeping food on the table and a roof over their head, but not enough to avoid unwise indulgences. Eggsy's clothes were all from the secondhand shop, showing a bit of wear by the time he got them, and he was out of place among his classmates and peers, so much so that he had to steal just to have anything of his own. Even then, it was still nowhere near what his peers showed off or talked about, leaving him a bit of a social outsider as well.

To Eggsy, Harry didn't seem to lack for anything. Maybe a family, as his house was strangely empty aside from his dog, but that wouldn't be a problem with the money he seemed to have. Very few things were a problem if you had sufficient money. All of it made the boy wonder why Harry would even bother with a penniless little chav if he could go anywhere and do anything.

The thought made Eggsy strangely afraid, for how short of a time he'd known Harry. He didn't want the older man to lose interest. Not just because Harry had helped him a bit now, or because of his current surroundings. Harry was interesting, and very different from everyone Eggsy knew. He liked him, and also recognized at a certain level that being friends with Harry might mean a certain level of safety. He'd have an escape from home if he needed it. If he was going hungry at home and at school, he might not need to steal, because Harry might help him out.

Harry left Eggsy to wander as he went to the kitchen, taking out pots and pans, forks and spoons. The house wasn't so big that he couldn't keep an eye on where the boy was or what he was up to, and Harry felt Eggsy probably needed a few moments to himself. It was rather enjoyable, actually, having Eggsy nearby in comfortable silence as Harry took what he needed out of the pantry and refrigerator and then got to work. 

When enough time had passed and Eggsy's feet led him back to the kitchen, Harry tossed the boy a small smile. "Would you be so good as to fetch the wine from the pantry just around the corner? Silver bottle, green top."

Eggsy nodded and took off. Harry saw him jolt to a halt just inside the pantry. It was easy to imagine what might be going through the boy's mind: similar to the rest of the house, the space was well-stocked, more than Eggsy was used to seeing and of higher quality things he might not have recognized as familiar. When meals were coming out of no-name cans and cardboard packaging, or out of a grease-stained paper sack, it was a shock to see a larder full of wines and rows of elegant glass containers, each airtight and well labeled with the contents within.

Eggsy tore his eyes away and set about the task Harry had given him. After a moment he found the right bottle and carried it back out, held tight in both hands like he feared he would drop it. "This it?"

"Ah, very good." Harry took the proffered bottle and let the pots on the stove simmer. He set it at the table along with a pitcher of iced water before he went to fetch glasses. Rising steam out of one of the pots on the stove interrupted his progress and Harry had to stop and drain the noodles. He asked Eggsy to fetch more things for him as he added them to the dish and slowly Eggsy got better acquainted with the kitchen. 

By the time they were finished, the pasta smelled delicious and Harry could hear the boy's stomach rumbling. He didn't bother to hide his grin at that, even when Eggsy's cheeks coloured a little. 

Harry set the table for two and served them both heaping bowls of noodles. He also poured Eggsy a glass of water before uncorking the bottle of wine with a loud pop. Then, to the boy's surprise, Harry took two long stemmed glasses out of the cupboard and set one before Eggsy. "You're welcome to try it if you like."

Eggsy nodded eagerly. He was curious, and also anxious to be viewed as an adult, not as a stupid kid. The fact that Harry offered gave him a bit of hope. "Yes, please. Everything smells great."

Harry reached across to take Eggsy's glass and the boy watched, wide-eyed, and with an odd sort of expression. Harry had seen it before, when on missions, usually on someone who was having doubts that he was real or, in some cases, on rescue targets who were worried he was going to disappear and never come back. Eggsy lacked the frantic desperation of such people, of course, but the parallels were familiar.

It only made Harry feel bolder.

He poured the glass and held the boy's eyes as he handed it back, then poured his own. He'd intentionally chosen something light for this meal, a sweet wine, not wanting to turn Eggsy off to the bitter taste of it. Harry doubted this would be the boy's first taste of alcohol ever, but it was certainly a first all the same. After he set down the bottle, Harry held up his own glass, almost as though he were ready to make a toast. 

"Now, take a sip, and let me know if you don't like it. Be honest, I won't be offended."

Eggsy picked up his glass, glancing at the way Harry held his and adjusting his grip to match, then raised it. The boy was doing his best to look like he'd done this before, but after the wine hit his tongue, his eyebrows rose. 

" _Shit_. Oh, um. Sorry," Eggsy flushed in embarrassment. "It's not shit, it's good. It's just different. I've gotten to try beer and some hard stuff before, a bit, but they really didn't taste very good. Not like this. Is wine usually like this?"

Harry burst out laughing and then reigned it in enough so that Eggsy wouldn't think he'd done something wrong. "Not always. This is a very light wine, the Italian Prosecco. Usually it's a bit dryer than this, but I find that can get a bit harsh on one's palate. There are red wines, white wines, wines that are very sweet and wines that are very bitter. Some are an acquired taste." Harry took a sip of his own and then set into his pasta. "I find it quite enjoyable to share with pleasant company in moderation." Harry glanced up to find Eggsy watching him with that look on his face again, and Harry didn't attempt to disguise the affection in his gaze. 

Eggsy froze. Red tinged his ears, and there was a touch of guilt on his face - wondering if Harry had somehow been able to read his thoughts. Wondering, too, why Harry found him pleasant. Eggsy had always heard people talk down or dismiss people like himself, and while that rubbed him the wrong way, it was hard not to take such a message in and start wondering if it was true. Eggsy didn't feel stupid or inferior to someone just because they were born with a bunch of silver spoons, but Harry was the first wealthier person he'd met who made him feel self-conscious instead of defensive.

The boy also didn't know how to respond to affection. Not from anyone who wasn't his mother, and that affection was becoming hard to come by these days. "That pleasant, huh?" he finally got out, unable to look away from Harry. "Not an, what'd you call it? Acquired taste?"

Harry's smile only grew wider. Eggsy was proving well capable of holding his own in conversation. "No, in this particular case I should think not," Harry dropped his eyes back to his plate, scooping another helping of noodles onto his fork. "Although, when you put it that way, I must admit that I do often enough find certain sorts of company to be an acquired taste." Harry watched Eggsy blush before he spoke again. "And what about you? I know I had to earn your trust. Is that usual with the company you keep?"

Eggsy was just taking a large bite of noodles, and it took him a couple of seconds to clear his mouth to speak. "Um... yeah, kinda. Mum's knocked it into my head that someone could just snatch me up, y'know, given she can't watch me 'cause she's working all the time or tired. Took me awhile to learn to go out and enjoy stuff. My mates had to help me learn to relax a little. I think she was just worried that, what with what happened to dad and all, she didn't want to lose me to some accident too."

The boy poked at the noodles on his place, twisting until he had another forkful. He glanced up at Harry, gauging how well he was taking the conversation, then dropped his eyes again. When he continued, he was quieter and lacking the confidence of his earlier words. "Didn't... help, exactly, that we're really different. My mates are older than me, too - I don't really get along with a lot of people at school, in my year - but they've lived the same stuff. Same worries, same problems. They're kinda like big brothers. People who're better off usually don't look at me twice, and if they do it's 'cause they're worried I've nicked their wallet or are gonna cough on them or somethin'. I didn't think you'd want to talk to me more'n two seconds after I got yer dog back."

Harry's smile didn't falter. He'd known as much. "That's understandable. I'm afraid those of my means haven't given you much reason to expect otherwise." He could very easily have added a comment about the way Lee had felt the same at first there, but Harry sidestepped the notion for another. "Glad to hear that _someone_ encouraged you to out and explore the world though. Mates like that sound like the sort to keep around if they've got your back. They could have easily turned out otherwise. I believe that is a rarity to find in any social circle. Would be a shame to lose friends like that." Harry took another sip of wine and thought about Michelle. "How come your mother doesn't like them?"

Eggsy frowned down at his pasta. He wasn't certain he was supposed to talk ill of his mother but, on the other hand, he was also still angry with her and stinging from rejection. "My mum came from better means, before. She doesn't really like where we live, or the sorts that live around us. Gets along well enough with some of the women she knows or works with, and a few guys, but she thinks everyone else are a bunch of chavs. Thinks my mates all steal and do drugs and break stuff for fun, and that if she lets me hang out with them too much I'll become _antisocial_ , is what she said. Why she went into my room, I'm sure. Thought I'd been corrupted, learnin' stuff from them and copyin' them. I'm sure she's gonna be even stricter from now on."

Harry's eyebrows raised at that, but then he remembered what Michelle had been like when she'd had Lee. Harry remembered her then, the first and only time they had met, and he had to surmise that was what Eggsy meant when he thought she'd been better off. They certainly had been, compared to what they were now, even if someone like Harry would not have considered her in another social class at the time. She'd just been at the upper end of it. He nodded his understanding. 

"You seemed very upset when I spoke with you over the phone. More so I imagine than an ordinary fight." Harry tread carefully. Eggsy was relaxed now. He was enjoying the wine and even that small amount of alcohol had helped his nerves. "Did she throw something valuable of yours away?"

Eggsy immediately shut down. He hadn't had much to drink, but not much was required with how small he was, and it sabotaged what minimal skills at lying and hiding that the boy had. His fork picked at the remaining noodles on his plate, just pushing them around aimlessly. After a few seconds of working through his panic, Eggsy found the courage to speak. "...yeah. She thought I'd stolen stuff, if not her money, then other stuff. I told her I hadn't, but she... didn't like the stuff she'd found. More bad influence stuff. Said she didn't like me having it, and she was gonna go toss that stuff in the bin, and that she didn't want to find any more. Which means she's prob'ly gonna start going through my room on the regular now."

"I'm sorry to hear it." Harry frowned. "I can't imagine you'd had anything truly all that terrible." The boy continued to avoid his eyes. "You could always leave something truly ridiculous for her to find next time." Harry took another sip of wine, swirled it nonchalantly in his glass. "Send a message perhaps. Could even become a game if you both kept at it." He allowed only the barest hint of humour in his tone. Eggsy had to think he was serious. "Little notes perhaps. Einstein's essays written in your hand. Secret love letters..." 

"She's not gonna think it's anything more ridiculous than what she threw out. Worse, she'll prob'ly take it serious." Eggsy spoke before he'd really thought about what he was saying and how his words might be interpreted. "Might decide I'm mental, or that I've really got someone I'm seein', or that the drug worries are real 'cause she's finding stuff that make no sense or ain't normal."

Eggsy's mouth felt dry. He reached for the wine glass close at hand and took a drink to try to stop his tongue sticking to the top of his mouth and his throat from closing up like it wanted to do.

Harry watched the boy fidget with a frown. "Sounds like a bit of an overreaction to me." He set his fork against the plate. "Unless you truly are in need of a mental health professional, or you've developed an addition to hard narcotics, or have somehow become wrapped up in an abusive relationship, I don't see that she has any right to censure your methods of exploring the world so long as it doesn't hinder your progress in life. Whatever you decide that may be. Although," Harry gave a soft sigh, "perhaps this is why I'm not a parent." 

"She probably thinks it does, cause she doesn't like it." Eggsy swayed a bit on his chair, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden. Everything in the room looked softer, warmer. To the boy's horror, he felt himself on the verge of tears for the second time that night. "She looked at me all funny, like I was a disappointment, and was all worried about what her _boyfriend_ would think. Or do. Something, I dunno if she meant her, or me, or the both of us. I thought for a second she was gonna kick me out of the house."

"Oh, Eggsy." Harry pushed back his seat and moved around the table to crouch before the boy. With one hand to Eggsy's shoulder, Harry steadied him, but there was no hiding the distress in Eggsy's face. Gently, Harry rubbed the boy's back. "I'm so sorry. I promise you it won't come to that, and if it ever does anyway, we will find a way to work it out. I know I may not be a part of your family, but as your friend, as _Lee's_ friend, I could not sit idly by and watch that come to pass." 

"You wouldn't like me either." Harry's touch seemed to open up a floodgate. Or perhaps it was the kindness inherant with it, and the loosening effect of the wine. Eggsy couldn't bear to look at Harry, and soon enough droplets rolled down his cheeks to leave dark, wet circles on his trouser legs. "I'm not normal, and she found out, and she didn't _say_ anything. She didn't say it was ok, cause she doesn't think it's ok, and she was worried about _Dean_ finding out."

Harry brushed a lock of hair away from Eggsy's forehead, unperturbed by the boy's tears. They were expected at that point. "It wasn't drugs she's worried about, is it?" Harry asked, softly, but flatly. He knew already of course, but he wanted the boy to understand that he'd caught on and he needed to broach the subject gently. He shifted a little closer, inclining his head in search of the boy's eyes even though Eggsy was still too ashamed to look at him. "Eggsy. Whatever it is that you like, I will not judge you for it."

"It’s not drugs-..." Eggsy hiccupped as he drew in a breath, too distressed to keep his voice quiet. Everything just poured out of him. "It's _boys_. I... I think I'm a queer, and she got mad and threw out my sports magazines because of it, 'cause she didn't want me looking at them, and she was worried about Dean finding out, and what if he _does_? What if she tells him and he hits me, or they kick me out of the house? I don't think my mates would like me anymore, not after they knew, they'd probably think I was gross and hitting on them or somethin' and I don't know what to do!"

Harry sighed softly and gripped Eggsy's shoulder, pulling the boy toward him until Harry could fold him into an embrace. "That's what's gotten you so worked up? Eggsy, that's nothing. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of." The way Eggsy was crying into Harry's shoulder, tears falling into his shirt collar, did little to diminish how good it felt to have the boy in his arms, all trembling warmth and welcoming, clinging to Harry. "They might not see it that way, I'll grant you that, but the world at large? Trust me, there are far worse things to be." 

Eggsy clung like he was never going to let go, so relieved to have someone else know that wasn't rejecting him that he didn't want to move. "But... I don't want them to hate me. It's in the newspapers and stuff, too, that you get beat up or murdered or homeless. I didn't even really figure it out until recent, and I dunno what to do! Mum caught me borrowing her magazines and I thought she was gonna _kill_ me. And she threw out all my sports stuff, 'cause it had pictures of men in it, even though they weren't dirty or anything."

Harry stroked the boy's hair and settled into the crouch, content to remain there as long as Eggsy held on. "If that's the way she thinks her boyfriend will react, then I suggest you refrain from telling him, and make it as clear to her that she should do so as well. Her thoughts on the matter are going to be another issue altogether I'm afraid." Harry sighed. Eggsy was fearing the worst, and truly Harry did not know Michelle's private thoughts on the relations of men who liked other men, but from what he had seen of her, he doubted she would reject her son over it. It had been a shock for her that played straight into his hands, for even if she and Eggsy did make up after this, Harry would still be the one who'd accepted Eggsy first. 

"Please say you don't want to stop being friends." Eggsy was beginning to settle down, lulled by the fact that Harry hadn't moved away, but a bit of the fear remained. Harry was already pushing limits, in Eggsy's mind, by being friends with someone much younger and from a very different background. One more thing might be one thing too many. "Please. I don't know what's gonna happen or who I'm gonna lose. I don't want to lose you too."

Harry laughed softly, even turned to place a chaste kiss against Eggsy's head as he petted the boy's hair and drew back to look at him. Harry smiled at Eggsy's wide eyes. "That would be _very_ hypocritical of me to stop being friends with you over this," he told the boy pointedly. "So you have my word, I wouldn't dream of dismissing you on such an account. _If_ ," Harry cocked his head and raised a brow, "you would do the same for me?"

It took Eggsy a moment to understand what Harry was telling him. Harry got to see it all play out on the boy's face - so incredibly open, so innocent. Eggsy's sadness transformed into a kind of wonder, tinged with hope. "Y-you...? You too...?"

Eggsy's hands went to his face, grinding his palms against reddened eyes and trying to wipe the remains of tears away. If Harry was gay, too, maybe he'd know things and be able to help him. Maybe, if things had turned out so well for Harry, things would really be alright, just like Harry had said. "Y-yeah. Yeah, I'm not leavin'. I want us to keep being friends."

Harry laughed. He didn't try to hold it back that time. It was so very hard to hold back the warmth that flooded up inside him along with Eggsy's renewed hope, small as it was. "I'm glad." Harry let that fondness invade every part of his face. He could feel it at the corners of his eyes, the welcome strain of his mouth, the loss of tension between his brows. It felt good. And it felt good that Eggsy should see it, should be the cause of it, and that the boy's spirits should rise in return. "And if anyone ever messes with you about it, they'll have me to speak to next. Even your mothers boyfriend." Harry let a coy smirk touch his smile. "I have ways and means to seek retribution he could not possibly imagine." 

"Thanks. I mean it." Eggsy smiled back at Harry, and it was fragile and tremulous, but so warm and fond that Harry felt his heart skip a beat. He'd just secured a great deal of the boy's loyalty and trust, and no small measure of affection. He'd been the first to support Eggsy, and the first of any of his friends to know.

Eggsy's gaze drifted lower, following the line of Harry's neck to where it met his shirt collar and took in the wet patches across one shoulder. "... 'm sorry I kinda ruined your shirt. And dinner. I just kinda cracked, y'know? I still don't know what I'm gonna do when I get back home. I have to tell mum not to tell Dean, but that means I have to _talk_ to her about it."

"That you will," Harry sighed. "But by then...perhaps she'll be willing to talk to you." Harry laid his hands on Eggsy's shoulders. "Hold her to your own standards when you do speak. You need not be ashamed; you've done nothing wrong. I conversations with one's mother get to be very fraught with, well, all sorts of history, but she should accept that much at least." Finally, Harry glanced at his collar, though he couldn't make out much of it. "And don't worry about that." As if to see better, he loosened his tie and undid another button. "I have more shirts."

Harry didn't miss the way Eggsy's body tensed up, or the way the boy's eyes flickered towards the newly bared skin only to pointedly look away. Anywhere but back at the parted cloth below Harry's neck that drew the eye downward. "It's going to be so _awkward_ ," Eggsy groaned. "I don't even know what I'm going to do if she asks _questions_. Sometimes I get embarrassed just thinking about stuff, nevermind _telling_ someone else. I mean, what if she tells me I can't see my friends anymore, because they're all blokes and she gets the wrong idea? Or she won't let me watch the games on telly, just like she threw out my stuff, because she gets all weird about it?"

"She can hardly stop you from interacting with half the population." Harry shrugged. "It could possibly get even weirder if you started hanging out with girls instead. Besides, that isn't the point. It will be awkward, but you don't have to tell her everything that's going through your mind. You don't have to tell her what you like and what you don't like. If you have any crushes, you don't have to tell her that either. You can tell her exactly what you want her to know and you don't have to confess any more than that. She may be your mother, but these are your thoughts." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder and let that sink in. 

Eggsy considered for a moment, then nodded. His mother had already invaded the privacy of his room, and his belongings. Violated, too, his sense of power and safety by deciding what he was allowed to own and taking away what she decided he shouldn't, on the basis of her own comfort levels. Eggsy wasn't keen on giving up the privacy of his own mind as well. "Yeah, I guess so. I just... I don't want to have to do it. I just started figuring this out, and I'm still not sure if _I'm_ ok with it."

The boy glanced down, then finally met Harry's gaze again. "Can... um, I call you if things get bad? Or to talk about stuff? I probably can't much, 'cause my phone doesn't have a lot of minutes on it, but I don't know anyone else to talk to. My mum won't know, and that's if she even decides she's ok with me. I _can't_ tell my mates. I just _can't_."

"You may _absolutely_ call me. I think I should be very worried if you didn't call after all this, in fact. As for your phone, well, that can easily be rectified. Here, let me see it." After a moment of hesitance, the boy reached into his pocket and handed Harry his phone. "Now you probably have a number to look up your account...ah, yes." Harry stood and fetched his wallet from the tray at the counter top and dialled as the boy looked on. With Eggsy watching, Harry read off his credit card for the customer service agent on the other end and added several more hours of talk time with automatic payment activated whenever the time ran out. 

Eggsy looked well and truly touched by the time Harry handed the phone back. For someone who'd been relatively isolated, not fitting in with his peers and of limited options to get out of the house, having a phone had never been a reasonable solution before. Minutes were expensive, and he'd only ever had an hour or two of phone time, reserved for use in emergencies only. The limitation had never bothered Eggsy much before, as his few friends either lived in the same flat complex or went to his school, but now that he felt he couldn't talk to them the phone was like a lifeline. "Thank you. Um. I'll try not to bother you too much, but this is great, not having to worry about running out."

Harry smiled and sat down again, though this time he dragged his seat a little closer. "Don't worry about it. If I'm caught up at work, it'll go straight to voicemail and you can leave me a message. To be honest, I'd like to hear from you at least once every other day, just to be sure you're ok." Harry let his tone turn serious. "I mean it. I know what situations such as this can be like and I know you don't want to be any trouble, and that's why I'm going to ask that you call me. If you don't, I will call you. Does that sound fair?" 

"Yeah. Sounds fair." Harry didn't have to twist Eggsy's arm to get him to agree. Acceptance, and the notion that Harry might act as a mentor as well as a friend, had left the boy optimistic. Rather than being a chore to be avoided, Eggsy actually _wanted_ to check in with Harry. Having someone to talk to who wasn't going to judge him was a relief. "If... you do call, though, don't do it until after dinner. I can't talk during school, and I don't go to my room until after dinner, and I don't really want my mum or Dean to see me on the phone. They'll wonder who I'm talking to and why I'm using the emergency phone, 'cause it's not supposed to have a lot of minutes."

Harry nodded with a touch of a smile at his mouth. "If I ever do call at inconvenient time, just pick up the phone, say 'who is this?', and I'll know to pretend to be a solicitor. You can hang up a second later and no one will be the wiser. Other than that, you may call me whenever you'd like. If I'm not with a client, I'll answer whenever you need me." 

Eggsy looked much calmer, and much happier, now than when he'd first arrived, and Harry felt proud of that. He didn't want to let the boy go, for more than one reason now. Eggsy may be blunt and crass at times, but it oddly didn't make him any less pleasant company. 

"What do you say to desert?" Harry asked. "I think I still have some chocolate cake in the freezer. I could heat up a couple slices."

"Hahaaaa, yes!" Eggsy laughed, rocking back and forth on his chair. He graced Harry with a smile that no longer showed a hint of fear or sorrow. Both emotions would return, no doubt, when he left Harry's home and came up against reality once more, but for now he felt safe and much, much happier. "Do you even have to ask? Who _doesn't_ want chocolate cake?"

Harry stood to leave for the kitchen, and to his delight Eggsy slid off of his chair to follow.

Harry had to laugh along, glancing back at Eggsy dancing along in short steps behind him. "Okay." Harry dug around in the freezer, finding the pan he'd left there a day ago and a carton of ice cream he plopped down on the counter in front of Eggsy. He fished out two small plates and handed a spoon to the boy. "Think you can dish up some ice cream to go with it?" 

"'Course I can," Eggsy grinned. It was a reminder of just how young the boy really was, that his problems were so easily sidelined by simple pleasures. Eggsy watched Harry slice into the remaining cake and put one plate into the microwave. He'd already gotten the top off of the tub and was digging in with his spoon, making little icy curls while he waited. "Who was the cake for? A party for someone?"

"Oh no," Harry laughed. "I just felt like having cake." He watched the curl of the boy's brow and Harry found the lightness of Eggsy's mood infectious. "That's the great thing about being older--you can have things like that whenever you want to. No parents to tell you otherwise. You don't even need a special occasion. I find it goes wonderfully with a cup of coffee in the evenings after dinner." Harry shrugged. The way Eggsy looked at him made him wonder if he'd just touched upon one of the boy's dreams, so Harry bent closer and gave the boy a conspiratorial grin. "What would you do if you could have anything, without repercussions?"

"Oh _man_ ," Eggsy breathed. His eyes went distant for a moment while he thought, revisiting any number of idle daydreams. "Like, anything I wanted? A much bigger house, with my own room just the way I want it, and nobody could come in unless I said so. And it'd have little hidden spaces, like in the movies, 'cause hidden rooms are just _awesome_. It'd have a skate park out back, and a target for a BB gun or something. I'm too short to drive a car yet, but I'd want one. And I could get pizza and scotch eggs and as many double deckers as I wanted, just whenever. I wouldn't have to go to school anymore, and I could stay up as late as I wanted."

Eggsy paused in consideration. "...and if I decided I did fancy havin' a boyfriend, nobody would say nothin' about it. Maybe we'd go on holiday somewhere interesting. Not here. I haven't really thought much about that yet though."

Harry laughed and switched out the plates in the microwave. "Sounds like you would have a very lucky boyfriend indeed." He leaned back against the counter and folded his arms, falling into an easy comfort with the boy. "You'd probably want to go somewhere romantic. Somewhere sunny, I'd imagine. Morocco would be lovely. They call Paris the city of love, but I say you'd have to avoid the tourists--and the locals alike, to really enjoy it. Italy, I think you would like Italy. And Venice." Harry smiled as he thought of Eggsy upon the shores of Venice. "Oh yes, I bet you would enjoy travelling the world."

"Don't even know what's _in_ Morocco." Eggsy got to work with the plate in front of him, dragging the spoon through the ice cream until he'd come up with two solid scoops and deposited them next to the cake. "Or lots of other places, really. Thought about goin' to warm places someday, if I can afford it, but that's mostly 'cause it's so cold and rainy here so much. Beaches with palm trees and such, not like the tourist towns down south, where it's basically the same but the pub looks out at the sea."

The microwave beeped again, and Harry deposited the second plate in front of Eggsy. He watched the boy grow thoughtful, a question stirring in his youthful mind. Eggsy shot him an oddly shy look that lasted all of a split second. "Harry...? Do blokes even _do_ romantic stuff? If there aren't girls involved. Blokes like us, I mean. I've never seen anything like that."

"They can. All depends on the blokes in question," Harry gave a little shrug of one shoulder while Eggsy handed him the second plate of cake and ice cream. He put the tub back in the freezer and then turned with a hand on Eggsy's shoulder, leading him back to the dining table. "Often they'll do things for one another, small gestures of affection, or favours, or allow the other to get away with things one would normally hate. They can be very romantic or not romantic at all, in the classic sense. Vacations together are quite common." They took their seats at the table again, this time closer still. "Personally I think it's best when the gesture is something meaningful to both parties, whether or not it would be considered traditionally romantic." 

Eggsy didn't continue the conversation right away. The ice cream on his plate was quickly growing soft around the edges, and for several seconds the boy's attention was occupied with devouring the treat before it melted and turned the cake into a soggy mess. He looked around while he ate, noting again the lack of personal photographs. Eggsy's eyebrows slowly drew together. "...have you had that happen, with someone? Or just seen it with other people?"

"Had someone I was romantic with?" Harry asked, taking another bite of warm chocolate caramel.   
"Hmm. Not in a long time I'm afraid. Life has a way of getting in the way. And it's rare that I find someone I like." He watched Eggsy's eyes dart back and forth between his cake and Harry's face. Harry took another bite and let himself savour the taste with a little ice cream mixed in. "What about you? Is there anyone out there you fancy, specifically?"

Typical of his age, Eggsy flushed and looked down. "No, n-not... really. I just started figuring stuff out and, well... _you know_." Eggsy poked at the remaining chocolate crumbs on his plate. Harry watched the boy's eyes raise slightly and stop, settling somewhere near Harry's plate. Or, more specifically, his hands. "I was looking at magazines and stuff, but they're just pictures. It's not the same thing, I don't really know who any of them are besides some of the athletes. And I don't know anyone else like me at school. Or anyone I'm really interested in, 'cause I don't get along with a lot of the kids in my year anyways."

Harry nodded slowly, scooping the last bit of ice cream onto his fork "Hm, well I wouldn't worry about that. You'll notice when you find someone attractive." His mouth lifted before he took another bite, gathering up the last bit of crumbs. He took his time with it, pretending he couldn't see Eggsy's glances at him out of the corner of his eye until he put his fork down and looked back up at the boy. "And there's plenty of time for that." 

Eggsy looked so flushed in the warm light, his cheeks almost aglow with it. Harry couldn't help but look at him, even if he had no excuse for the time he spent doing so. 

Luckily, he had ample cover. Eggsy was so preoccupied with his own thoughts and emotions that he didn't notice anything amiss. "Well... yeah, maybe. But that's also not how it works, I know _that_ much. The other person has to like you back, and being, um... gay... is kinda rare, isn't it? And you'd have to get along with them too, besides that. It's hard enough for _normal_ people to find someone, and they're all over the place," Eggsy lamented. "It's not like you can just _ask_ , either. Lots of people would beat you up if you asked if they were gay."

"That is true," Harry conceded. "But they do say the number is closer to 1 in 5 actually." He took a sip of water and watched the surprise flash across Eggsy's face. "Although it is hard to say. Often, people will flock together. Like minds tend to find each other. And some people aren't very particular either way. I suspect...," Harry began slowly, "that the company your family keeps tend not to include such crowds. And that it might be difficult for you to find such people because of that. However. I can see also that you're not particularly good at staying within the confines of those boundaries your mother has set for you, and that could work in your favour someday. You've already found me, after all. All on your own." 

Eggsy's expression cleared as he nodded. So much of the boy's ruminations had been on the dire way things were presented in the media and popular culture. He'd felt alone, unusual, and without much hope for the future. Harry was already proving him a bit wrong, and Harry would know about these sorts of things. He was older and had probably gone through the same worries and all sorts of experiences Eggsy was only just starting to imagine.

"Yeah. I did. Well, we found each other. Sayin' I found your dog first doesn't have the same ring to it," Eggsy finally laughed. "You're probably right about my family, though. It'd be nice if they did. If mum knew some other people, maybe she wouldn't flip at me so much."

And just like that, Eggsy's good mood came crashing down again. "...Harry? Did you... ever tell your parents?"

Harry hummed, but there was little mirth in it. "No, I never did, although I don't suppose you could say I told them much else either. Not when it came to things that were important to me. They were a very traditional sort. I'd spend long periods away from them growing up, away at school and the like, and I suppose I got used to it. I dare say I enjoyed my time away from home far better and that continued into adulthood." He gave a tight smile. "I don't regret that, not while knowing it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I'd rather have saved myself the trouble." 

Eggsy was speechless for a moment. He hadn't considered that, with how well Harry's life seemed to have turned out, that things hadn't gone equally well with his family. A search of Harry's features didn't show any distress, but that did little to ease the guilt Eggsy felt from asking. "I'm... sorry. That it didn't work out. It's not fun, not being able to talk about stuff that's important to you." There didn't seem to be anything else to say, and with Harry still smiling at him, Eggsy found that he couldn't look away. He really didn't _want_ to look away.

"It was many years ago." Harry shrugged. It was difficult to even pretend to be sorry about his parents when Eggsy was looking at him like that, and so Harry didn't try. It was unfortunate, very unfortunate, that he couldn't let it go on for long. He let his smile dampen. "As much as I would like to keep you, I had probably best get you back before bedtime." There was a decent chance Michelle would realize her son had left, too. But Eggsy had his phone on him and they would find out if that were the case. Harry was glad his mother had that foresight, for he far preferred Eggsy receiving a panicked and angry call from her than the police out searching. 

The boy groaned, but he pushed his plate aside. "I don't even want to go back. I don't want to talk about stuff, or have her tell me to keep stuff hidden from Dean. He's a jerk, anyway." Eggsy was slumped over, but he wasn't defiant when Harry rose and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry guided him easily enough to the door, and out to the car waiting outside. Moments later the engine was purring and transporting them back to Eggsy's neighborhood near St John's Wood. Eggsy fidgeted, glancing repeatedly at Harry and pouting about being made to return.

For Eggsy's benefit, Harry tried to hide the way that made him smile. There was little use in it, but it did make Eggsy's pout turn up at the corners and Harry was rather proud of that. 

When they parked in front of the estates, Harry didn't shut off the engine or open the door right away. Instead he glanced over to Eggsy and considered the boy. "Why don't you come over again tomorrow? That way you can avoid the house if you need to and you can tell me how things went. That is, assuming you're not grounded from visiting your mates. We can make an afternoon of it, visit the shops and such. You can tell me if any blokes catch your eye." 

"I... can't, unless you pick me up. Or come visit." Eggsy was suddenly quite interested in his feet. "I can't use the Underground very often. Mum can't afford to get me a card, and I don't think she'd let me even if I did."

After a heartbeat, Eggsy glanced over. "I could... probably say I'm going to hang out with a mate, and mum would be alright. She really only cares if I do my homework or if I come back smelling like alcohol or smoke. I just can't go very far."

"Well I can certainly pick you up. And truly, even if you rather we'd stay here, I'd like to make sure you're well." Harry reached across and gripped Eggsy's hand with his own, immediately bringing the boy's eyes up to him. Harry squeezed and gave Eggsy a warm smile. The boy's skin was so soft. Harry would have brought it to his mouth if he could. If a sliver of that desire edged into his expression, well...perhaps Eggsy wouldn't mind. But Harry did ease off. He had to. As much as he wanted to push this, he couldn't. 

Eggsy nodded and sighed, sinking down in his seat and letting Harry know just how unhappy he was to be back home before he opened the door and stepped out. He didn't neglect the opportunity to linger and look back after he'd shut the car door. After a few seconds, the boy made his way back around the edge of the building. For all that he was making a show of being downcast, Eggsy was thinking furiously, both about the night he'd had and what to do with his mother and her boyfriend.

Harry wasn't present to watch his climb back into his bedroom window, or so Eggsy thought.

As was becoming routine, Harry returned home and wasted no time in bringing up the monitors. If the office hadn't been very much his go-to space already, he would have certainly considered networking the feed to the sitting room below. He'd just changed into his night clothes and poured himself a modest glass of wine when he noticed Michelle had not gone to bed after all. 

She'd moved back into the living room at some point, and from the way she kept glancing nervously at Eggsy's door, Harry would venture she'd tried knocking at least once to no avail. 

Eggsy had, by then, made his way back up the rope and into his room. He'd changed out of his clothes and into his pajamas, a routine that never failed to delight Harry, then paused at the bedroom door. His chair was still in place under the knob, but Eggsy didn't have Harry's advantage. He didn't know whether Michelle was still awake or not. Going back out to brush his teeth and use the bathroom was running a risk.

After a minute or two of deliberation, Eggsy decided to go for it. He moved the chair and opened the door, sneaking out into the hallway as silently as he could.

Just as expected, Michelle's head shot up. "Eggsy? Honey?" She quickly muted the telly and half got up off the sofa to catch her son. Eggsy had moved so quickly that he was well into the room before he was caught and there was no turning back. Except that Michelle could easily see that he hadn't intended to talk to her, hadn't thought she was there at all, and for a moment she looked almost as surprised as he was. She recovered more quickly. "I wanted to talk to you." 

Harry noted her tone had changed dramatically from hours prior. She was far more hesitant now.   
Terror filtered into Eggsy's features. He was stuck, unable to force his feet to move back towards his bedroom in retreat, nor towards the loo. Michelle was too close now. He could have run and hid in either room, but neither would do much good; Michelle knew he was awake, and where he was. She wouldn't let up until they'd talked. Eggsy only looked more anxious as his mother drew near. "...a-about what? You want me to leave?"

She looked a little stricken at that and rushed to counter it. "No! I just." She bit her lip and sank back into the couch a bit. "I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. For not trusting you, for going in your room. And I shouldn't have made you feel like...." She trailed off, obviously quite self conscious about it. "Would you come here? Can we talk?" She put her hand on the cushion beside her and looked at her son with an expression eerily reminiscent of the wide eyed ones Harry remembered Eggsy giving him.   
Eggsy didn't want to. That was plain, and yet the boy felt like he was obligated, like he had no choice but to comply. He'd often defied his mother in secret, but never directly. Eggsy walked closer, his heart stuck in his throat and every footfall weighted. When he sat, it was at the very end of the sofa, right on the edge where he could get to his feet at any moment. "Ain't nothin' to talk about. I can't change it. J-just... don't tell Dean." The boy found himself on the verge of tears yet again. "I can't help it, I tried."

Michelle bit her lip and she looked almost as sad. "Honey.... I shouldn't have said it to you like that before. I don't...think it's bad, I just. It was just a bit of a shock. And you're so _young_. How do you know that won't change when you're older?" Tentatively, she reached between them to catch her fingers at the edge of his hoodie, almost like she wanted to rub his elbow, but the motion was hesitant.

Eggsy looked back at his mother in shock. He pressed back against the arm of the sofa. "You _do_ think it's bad. You think I didn't already think of that? That I didn't try to change it or see if I could find a girl I fancied? _Any_ girl? I _tried_ already. Even let a girl kiss me at school, just to see and 'cause then maybe people wouldn't talk, but nothin' happened. And I know this stuff don't change when you're older, it just is, and you're stuck with what you get. I just... _tried_ , okay? I know what happens to... to p-people like me, alright, and the junk people say, and I can't bloody help it, so don't _ask_."

Michelle's hand fell away. She looked lost, set adrift in a storm she hadn't even known had been brewing over her son until that day. "I...don't want you to get hurt. I love you, you know I do. I just. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. I've never...." She gave a helpless little shrug. "Look, if that's the way it is and that doesn't change, well, then that's fine. But I don't want to see you hurt. And I don't want you looking at pornography, _any_ kind of pornography, at your age. I'm not backing down on that one." She looked so distressed, not knowing where to be firm and where to be kind. 

"Which is why you threw out all my sports stuff, with all the pictures of people with clothes on," Eggsy muttered. He ignored the sad look Michelle gave him in response to his angry stare. "You won't talk to me about stuff! You don't even _know_ about this stuff. I can't ask you, I can't ask the health teacher at school, and I can't tell my mates about this. There ain't even any books in the school library. What'm I supposed to do, 'cept figure it out for myself?"

"Eggsy." She grew bolder and reached over to put a hand on his arm. "You don't _have_ to figure all this out right now. I know...how people are. And I know that I...I overreacted. But I don't want to push you away. Even if I don't know much. I'd rather we talked than fought. I feel awful that I thought you might've taken the money. And I...I want to help. I don't know who to ask either. But you can talk to me still, alright? And I won't tell Dean. Not if you don't want me to. I know you don't know each other real well yet. I like him, but I don't know what he'd think about it either." 

"You can't tell him, he'll hate me." Eggsy was staring down at the hand atop his sleeve, stricken and tense. He looked like he wanted to run back into his room. His hands clenched in his lap until they turned white-knuckled. Eggsy couldn't even imagine talking to his mother about things. She seemed to think he was too young for sex or sexuality; she was expecting shy and innocent crushes, dating advice, a shoulder to cry on when Eggsy asked someone out and got rejected. Not questions about why he felt funny when he woke up in the morning, or what to do with the heavy, hot feelings that rushed through him when he looked at certain people or photographs. Michelle couldn't help him puzzle out the meaning of his fantasies and what to do about them, and he was embarrassed to ask about when sensitive changes might start to happen. "I... I just want to brush and go to bed, okay? I really don't want to talk about it right now."

Michelle frowned, but nodded. "Okay." But it was another moment before she let go of Eggsy's arm. The smile she gave him was wavering, but patient. Patient as only a parent could be. They'd fought before. Michelle almost certainly had her own suspicions of whether her son really was as exclusively gay as he claimed. 

Not unfounded, Harry thought as he watched the drama play out in the Unwin's living room. Eggsy wasn't yet even ten and as he'd told Harry himself, was only just beginning to realise all this. But it seemed she really had rethought her initial reaction. Harry could detect no hostility in her manner, merely lingering discomfort. 

"Let's have a quiet day in tomorrow, yeah? I'll be home. No Dean," she added hopefully. 

"Umm..." Truth be told, Eggsy was in no hurry to be stuck alone with his mother for the day. Not after their fight earlier, and not with how little there was to do inside the flat. Michelle's idea of fun activities didn't necessarily match up with the boy's tastes. Eggsy's hands drifted to the front pocket of his hoodie, and Harry knew he was touching his cell phone. "I... guess so? What would we do?"

Michelle tried to smile and shrugged. "Just have a quiet day I suppose. If you want to see your mates some, that's fine too. I just...want to spend a bit of the day together, y'know?" 

Harry sipped from his glass and watched Eggsy's hopes shrink and rise by fractions. The exchange was clearly painful for both of them, even if Michelle was attempting to remedy it, or put a start to remedying it, by spending more time together. 

It was difficult for Harry to draw forth emotion over the scene before him, but that did not mean he couldn't dissect the nuances that lay beneath her beseeching looks and Eggsy's stiff and guarded posture. 

"Just a bit? I kinda wanted to go out by myself later. Maybe next door, see Ted and Nate for a bit. If that's alright." Eggsy understood what his mother wanted, but one day wasn't going to heal the rift that had opened up before them. Especially not one 'quiet day' together, with Eggsy bored from a lack of things to do and both of them stewing in the tension. They didn't have the funds to go out anywhere, or to purchase something to do together at home. With Michelle's recent concerns about money, it was likely that they'd be eating smaller portions of the cheapest food they could get until his mother paid off enough debts to get them steadied again.

"Yeah, 'course. That's fine." Michelle's mouth lifted a little. She would have likely realized the same, that she could hardly keep Eggsy cooped up for an entire Sunday. And the nature of their argument and her lingering guilt also seemed to have had an effect on her willingness to allow Eggsy to see the friends she only reluctantly tolerated so soon after a fight. That certainly worked in the boy's favour. 

And Harry's, who suspected it would not be difficult for Eggsy to slip away not long after lunch at the latest unless Michelle came up with some spontaneous and frugal outing.

"Okay, well... um, if it's alright with you, I'm kinda tired. From everything." Eggsy shifted and got to his feet before Michelle could protest or voice agreement. His gaze settled on his own feet. His hands were still in his front hoodie pocket, and his cell phone weighed heavily in his hands. Harry had rescued him from feeling stressed and trapped a few times now, and Eggsy's thoughts immediately went to the safe feeling of the house he'd just been in, but it was far too late for him to call. Far too soon, as well, as he barely knew Harry yet. "I'm gonna go brush and get some sleep."

"Okay." Michelle nodded. "Goodnight then." 

Her face contorted into a sad smile when Eggsy turned around and made his way to the bathroom, but she didn't say anything more. After another minute, Michelle reached for the remote again and turned back to the telly. Harry could tell she was only half paying attention. She sat there quietly while her son got ready for bed, arms wrapped around herself and feet drawn up on the sofa. When Eggsy passed again, she looked up and tried for another smile, but the moment passed in silence until Eggsy had shut the door to his room again. 

Eggsy spent some time listening for movement outside his door. He could hear the dim sound of the telly in the distance, but that was all. After a minute of staring at his cell phone, he set it aside on his dresser and slid under the covers. His breathing took awhile to slow, and it was only after many worries played themselves out to exhaustion in the boy's mind that he finally slept.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning came too quickly. Eggsy woke earlier than he had the previous day, squinting against the sunlight that angled through his bedroom window. He sniffed at the air, but there was no hint of eggs or bacon. Either Michelle was planning a cold breakfast, or she wasn't awake yet.

Eggsy decided to risk it by exiting his room with a bundle of clothing under his arm, hoping to beat his mother to the bathroom and have a bit more time to himself.

He'd been right, his mother wasn't awake. The house was silent and her door was shut. Eggsy would have no trouble avoiding her for at least another hour yet since she'd probably stayed up at least as late as he had. 

Unbeknownst to either of them, Harry had slept in for once as well. He'd needed it, and for once the Unwin household spent a morning unobserved. 

It wasn't until Eggsy was halfway through his shower that he heard Michelle's door and the faint sounds of her moving about the room outside. Not long after that until her noises moved to the kitchen and he could tell she was starting on breakfast. 

Eggsy had minutes more to dwell on his conflicted feelings. He didn't want to spend the day with his mother; it was too soon, he still felt hurt, and besides that he felt bitter. Often Michelle only made time for him when something was wrong, never just because she wanted to enjoy his company. That feeling of tension was now associated with every time they had a social day together. Eggsy always spent the time on edge, waiting for the problem to be revealed. In this instance, he didn't have to wonder; he knew _he_ was the problem.

The boy dried off and dressed quickly, then exited the bathroom as quietly as he could.

He made it back to his room without incident. When she was busy, it was easy to avoid her. Eggsy had a knack for moving at just the right moment. In his short time in the hall, however, he caught the scent of something warming up on the stove. Possibly some kind of instant porridge. It smelled nice, but not nearly as nice as Harry's pasta had been. Michelle would certainly think Eggsy was starving by now unless she suspected he'd eaten late with his friends the evening prior. 

Eggsy flopped down atop his bed, burying his face in his pillow. All he could think about was escape, but he was smart enough to know that would only make things worse. If he tried to avoid his agreement with Michelle, she might go to more extreme measures or get suspicious and go through his room again. Or start to monitor him more closely. Eggsy didn't want to lose his privacy any more, or his ability to go out to be with friends, whether old or new. If he pushed things too much, Michelle might enter his room and find out he'd taken to crawling out the back window.

Once he couldn't avoid things any longer, he ran his fingers through his hair and stepped back out into the hallway. He'd pulled on his hoodie again for warmth and a sense of security, and his phone weighed heavily in the front pocket. Or at least it felt that way.

He found Michelle in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the telly on in the living room, watching from a distance. Her head turned up the moment she saw him and she notably brightened, even if his posture was dour. 

"Good morning. Breakfast's almost ready." She rose to check on the stove and, sure enough, turned off the burners and got the sugar out of the cupboard before dishing up two bowls. "You sleep ok?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Eggsy lied. He slid into a seat at the table and watched her bustle around the kitchen. The only upsides at the moment were that Michelle wasn't antagonistic, and Dean wasn't there. Eggsy thought he could handle Michelle's attempts at apology with just her, but Dean would have sent him scurrying for any excuse to get out of the flat. "Did you?"

Michelle set a bowl in front of him and Eggsy promptly reached for the sugar bowl, liberally sprinkling the porridge to offset the blandness.

She shrugged with one shoulder as she sat down opposite him and tucked into her own bowl. "S'pose so. Don't think I'll ever appreciate them sending trains by at one in the morning though, especially on a Sunday." Michelle poured some sugar for herself and for a few minutes there was only silence between them. "Don't know if you had anything in mind for today. I know you wanted to see your friends later. We could go for a walk, maybe? Or we could just stay in, watch a movie?" 

"Um..." Eggsy thought quickly. He didn't really want to stay in the house, and if he voted for a movie, he could avoid unpleasant conversations... but Michelle would spend the entire time looking at him, and probably wouldn't leave him alone later. If he picked a walk, they could get out of the house, but his mother would want to talk and there'd be no excuse not to do so. The boy picked at his oatmeal with the edge of his spoon. "Movie's fine, I guess."

"Okay. You can pick. I think Dean left a couple here the last time he was over, or we can run down to the store and rent one if you want." Her smile was a little more optimistic that time. At the very least, her manner didn't seem like she wanted to bring up the topic of their fight yesterday. Or the fight at all, for that matter. So far, as was often the case when she was trying to make something right, Michelle seemed determined to move on and lighten the mood. 

Eggsy went over to the telly set and VCR. A stack of cases had been left on the floor and telly stand. Eggsy began sorting through them slowly when one caught his eye and he paused.

Two agents in sharp black suits stared back from the cover, their eyes hidden by black sunglasses. Eggsy had seen the movie once before, but he'd liked the humor and action in Men in Black when he'd first seen in. A story about secret agents also brought back other memories of a night spent watching an action flick in comfort, but Michelle didn't need to know that. "How about this one?"

Michelle craned her neck to see from the kitchen, but she didn't look disappointed when she saw the cover. "Okay sure, I don't think I ever did see that." Michelle, as many mothers were, was generally willing to watch whatever her son picked out or his friends brought over. She cleaned up the table while Eggsy put in the movie and rewound it to the beginning. It was finished by the time she shut the shades and joined him with a blanket on the couch.

Eggsy wasn't comfortable sitting too close, both because of their recent fight and because it made him self-conscious. Boys weren't supposed to be too affectionate with their parents, or cry, and he'd done enough of the latter in the past few days that he felt more childish than he wanted to be. Eggsy wanted Michelle to take him seriously and treat him more like an adult, which wasn't going to happen if she kept seeing things that made her think of him like a kid.

The opening scene started, and Eggsy scooted down into a better position. After a bit he started to relax; Michelle wasn't looking at him or bothering him, and the movie was quite good. The boy could almost imagine what it would be like if something like this would happen to him - stumbling on a secret part of the world and being impressive enough to get recruited, to have an amazing life that no one would ever suspect. The gadgets were almost as good as the ones from the Bond film he'd seen.

That was the scene Harry found when an hour later he woke, showered, and sat down in his office with a steaming mug of coffee--Eggsy and his mother sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, absorbed in the telly. It left plenty of time for him to go about his morning, settle his own affairs, catch up on work, and plan out the day ahead. 

It didn't take more than a short review of the footage between Eggsy and Michelle that morning for Harry to suspect the boy would like to get out of there. If he'd been at all worried that Michelle might have won her son over in the time he'd been away from Harry, that fear was thoroughly negated. 

Eggsy and his mother broke for an early lunch once the movie was finished. Smiles had reappeared on both of their faces, but things were still strained. Michelle got out a pot for canned soup and began to stick slices of bread in the toaster to go on the side. Eggsy watched, now with confirmation that meals were going to be a bit cheaper and smaller for a while.

"I'll be right back, mum," the boy finally called out. He retreated to the bathroom. The quiet was starting to set off his nerves again. He relieved himself and washed his face, then turned to stare out the little bathroom window. The overcast sky made the buildings across the tracks look subdued and grey.  
It was a moment Harry caught, re-entering his office after dressing for the day. It was a moment that brought him up short, one that drew him back to the monitors to watch while he worked. 

Soon he would have Eggsy again and Harry could wipe away that look from the boy's face. Harry could replace it with so much more, and he longed to do so the more he watched Eggsy stare, face expressionless. Impenetrable but for the prior insight Harry had into his thoughts. 

 

Eggsy finally tore himself away and went back to the kitchen to rejoin Michelle. The soup was nearly ready by then, and plates with two slices of toast apiece had been set by either chair. Eggsy watched his mother pour the soup out into two bowls and carefully carry them to the table. "You alright if I take off this afternoon, mum? I just wanna get outside a bit. Maybe go down to Paddington or Regent's Park, if my mates feel up to it."

"That's fine." Michelle settled across from her son and dipped a piece of toast into her bowl. "If you want, you can invite them back here later. I don't think I'll be doing much tonight and Ted and Nate aren't far. Just have them let their parents know if you do. And give them my number if they don't have it." Michelle's friends didn't include the mothers of Eggsy's friends. With the phone she made him carry, she usually didn't worry about collecting numbers from the people he hung out with. Which turned out to be a wise decision as Eggsy often moved from one house to another fairly quickly and keeping track of him would have been impossible. 

"'kay," Eggsy agreed, quickly stuffing his mouth full of toast. He already had a plan for what he wanted to do, and he wasn't too worried about getting caught. Michelle had never checked up on him before when he went next door. She'd always just assumed, either that Eggsy and his friends were staying there or that they were going where he told her they were. If he never showed up at Ted and Nate's flats, Michelle wouldn't know. "Not a problem."

Eggsy cleaned his bowl and emptied the side plate of toast. He was courteous enough to put his dishes in the sink, but shortly after that he was running back into his room. He tossed a few things into his backpack, just enough to make it look like he was going on an outing with his peers. He smiled as Michelle once he emerged and started heading towards the door. "I'll be back later, ok?"

"Okay. Give me a call if you're out past 8, and remember school tomorrow!" she called before he could shut the door behind him and sat there for a moment after Eggsy left the flat. Harry could see tiredness sink into her frame as he watched. She pushed her hair back from her forehead and just looked over the living room, not unlike her son had looked out the window earlier. She got up though and put her own dishes away. 

Harry's attention turned to the CCTV feeds outside the flat. None had a good vantage point to see the middle of the estate where Eggsy and Michelle lived, but Harry would be able to see from the street at either end if Eggsy walked that far. 

Eggsy walked as if he was just going to his friends' flats down at the end, waiting until he was out of sight from his flat's window to change direction. He ran down the stairwell instead, making his way past the complex's garden strip and out to the boundary road. He walked quickly from then on, wanting to get away but not draw attention to himself. His cell phone was already out of his front pocket and in his hand.

Harry caught sight of him as soon as he got closer to the road. So came a pulse of satisfaction along with Eggsy's appearance. Harry hadn't misjudged. He set down his pen, folded his hands before him and waited. Taking in the boy's quick step and upbeat posture was a delight compared to the way Eggsy had looked earlier that morning. It was almost infectious. 

Eggsy got down to Abbey Road again and paused on the corner. He leaned up against the wall, contemplating his phone. The desire to see Harry again clashed with the worry that he would seem desperate and annoying. After several minutes, desire won out, and Eggsy dialed the selection that would connect him with Harry's phone.

Right on cue the phone inside Harry's office came to life. Harry sat back in his chair and grinned at the screen. He waited five seconds, precisely two rings, before he picked up. "Yes, hello, is this Eggsy?" Harry put enough fondness in his tone for the boy to hear it. Eggsy's little figure on his screen stopped and even though Harry couldn't make out his face, he didn't need to. 

"Yeah! Um... Hi, Harry." After his initial enthusiasm, Eggsy's voice turned slightly shy. Harry's name fell heavily from the boy's tongue. "I'm not... interrupting or anything, am I? I mean, you told me to call you later, so I am, I just don't know how busy you are, y'know?"

Eggsy knew practically nothing about the tailor business, including whether such things were open on weekends. He would have guessed that Harry didn't have to work on Sundays, particularly given where he lived and how well off he seemed to be, but you never knew. "Are... you busy, right now?"

"No, not busy at all. In fact I was hoping you'd call soon because if you'll also remember, I'd still be happy to get you out of the flat today if you're still up for it." Harry knew that was bold, but that was what he could be now that he'd gained Eggsy's trust. "And I'd still like to hear how things went with your mother." Harry silently switched the phone to his mobile. 

"Yeah, that'd be great, actually." Relief was in Eggsy's voice, enough that Harry smiled. The boy huffed out a breath. "I'm outside right now, 'cause I couldn't take it being inside anymore. Things aren't better yet. My mum said she wouldn't tell her boyfriend about stuff, but she still... thinks I'm too young, that I'm stupid and don't really know and that I'll change my mind later... about things."

"Ah, I see." Harry sighed. "Well. Either way, that's still up to you I think. Would you like me to come pick you up? Have you already eaten?" Harry knew how warm his tone was. Knew because he could feel it just as much as he could measure it objectively. It was like a mission in which he didn't have to act, a new, exciting prospect in which the outcome was entirely personal. He rarely had problems with motivation in his work, but this was on another level completely. 

"Yeah. I just had lunch, but I wanna get out of here. I told my mum I was going to go hang out with my mates. She never checks up on me, so she won't know _which_ mates, and it's not really a lie," Eggsy explained, just a touch of mischief entering his voice. Now that he was away from the flat, he felt better. Clever, and wanted, because he could hear that Harry really did want to see him. He wasn't just a burden to be tolerated. "Are we going back to your place again?"

"Hm, we can. But I thought I might take you around the city, see a bit of art, a bit of culture. Places you might not normally get to see." Harry let the sentence hang there. Eggsy had quite clearly told him yesterday there were things he didn't believe he'd be able to do, contacts he would never be able to make within the boundaries in which he lived now, and Harry had spent some time thinking about that. The solution was quite simple, really. And again, aligned neatly in his favour. 

"Really?" Eggsy straightened up from where he'd been leaning against a nearby wall. Cars and pedestrians were regularly passing by, but nobody seemed to think it unusual to see a boy so young wandering around by himself. "Like where? Mum took me to the London zoo once, and a couple of museums on a free day, but I don't really remember which ones. It's hard with her working all the time."

"I was thinking more along the lines of...people watching, you might say. You mentioned something the other day that stayed with me, and I would like to, perhaps, impress upon you a better sense of optimism about what your future might hold. So, no zoo. No libraries. Well, I might have one bookstore in mind, but you'll see when we get there. That is, _if_ you would be up for a day out?" Harry kept his eyes on the screen, watching the little figure of the boy as his steps slowed, phone pressed tight to his ear and focused on Harry's words. 

"Am I _ever_!" Eggsy rocked back on his heels. His grin was so wide, Harry could see it even through the terrible grainy footage of the nearby CCTV camera. "That sounds great. I dunno how interesting people are, but I'm sure it'll be fun if you think it's a good idea. I can't be out _too_ late, 'cause mum will worry and I have school tomorrow, but it's pretty early yet. What kinda bookstore are you thinking about?"

"One I think you might enjoy," Harry laughed. "And no worries. I know you have school tomorrow and probably homework to catch up on beforehand. I would, however, be more than happy to keep you for dinner." Eggsy still couldn't contain his excitement. Harry could see it radiating through him in the way he all but danced in place on the street, rocking from foot to foot as pedestrians passed. "Where can I pick you up now?"

"The corner of Abbey Road and Boundary Road. The Abbey Medical Centre's just across the street." Harry could see Eggsy looking up and down the street, even though it would be impossible for Harry to be there so quickly and the boy knew that. "I'll be fine for homework, I just have to make sure I'm back before my mum gets mad. I don't really want to make stuff worse right now. Dinner... sounds good, though." After a couple of meals with Harry and facing a restricted diet at home, Eggsy was eager to take whatever he could get.

"Very good then. I'll be there in twenty and I'll have my mobile with me, same number." They said their goodbyes and Harry grabbed his jacket, locked down the computer, and pocketed his phone after shooting off a quick text to Merlin. After only a moment's more thought, Harry plucked his glasses off the table as well. As wonderful as it was to bask in his memories of Eggsy when the boy had been in his home, Harry would like to have footage of it as well. He didn't want to miss a single thing. 

With that, he took one last look in the mirror, grabbed his keys, and was out the door. 

Eggsy wasn't nervous about waiting out on the streets. The neighborhood was familiar enough that he felt comfortable. What concerned him more was that someone might recognize him and wonder why he was out by himself - someone like his mother's friend at the coffeeshop. The last thing he needed was for his mother to be told that her son was out alone on the street, without any of his friends, and that he'd lied to get away from spending more time in her company.

Trying to be a bit less conspicuous, Eggsy dug around in his backpack, then pulled out the book his class was reading. He had a bit to wait, and having a book in front of his face might keep someone from recognizing him. Adults tended to assume that kids just waiting around were up to no good, while kids that were doing something were just fine.

Harry found him like that exactly twenty minutes later, nearly inconspicuous but for his age and the garish colour of his hoodie. Except that the latter truly did blend in with the area. 

Pulling slowly up to the kerb between cars, Harry saw the exact moment Eggsy recognized him. The boy's head lifted and a light caught in his eye that made Harry's breath catch and his chest expand nonetheless. Their eyes met and Harry unlocked the car, beckoning Eggsy over with nothing more than a smile. 

Eggsy didn't bother trying to hide his enthusiasm. He lowered the book he'd had out and dashed over, pulling the door open and sliding inside. He was in such a hurry that he hadn't paused to take his backpack off before getting in, which left him shuffling awkwardly to get out of the straps before he buckled his seatbelt. "Thanks for coming to get me," the boy murmured. Harry's smile was making him self-conscious again of all the differences between them. Eggsy found it hard to believe that someone like Harry was willing to spend time with him and help him when nobody had ever really taken notice of him before.

It only made Harry smile wider. "Not a problem."

Eggsy finally got the backpack seated on the floor in front of him and Harry pulled away from the kerb, taking them back southbound. "I thought we might take a walk down Savile Row," Harry began. "There's a hatters shop and a handful of good spots for menswear. We could even stop by the tailor shop," Harry added with a particularly mischievous glance, "I'm sure you've been through Piccadilly Circus, but it's a wonderful place to visit nonetheless. And there are at least three theatres I can think of within walking distance." 

Eggsy lit up. He didn't know anything about menswear, or hats, or any of it, but the idea of seeing Harry's shop and going to a theatre afterwards sent a warm feeling through the boy. "Your shop's there? Could we go there? That all sounds kinda... posh, too." Which wasn't a bad thing entirely. _Harry_ was posh, after all, but Eggsy could just imagine stepping through a doorway only to have someone coldly tell him that he needed to leave. Posh places also seemed like they would be extremely boring, but Eggsy didn't think Harry would suggest somewhere that he didn't think he'd enjoy.

"It is, quite," Harry conceded. "But I think you'll like it all the same." He didn't look at Eggsy then, but the smile he let cross his mouth was downright lascivious. "We'll take a break from all that once we're back on the street. And the book store I have in mind is most definitely _not_ posh, but still well within easy travel distance. All in all, I think we have quite an afternoon ahead of us." When Harry did finally take his eyes off traffic, he found Eggsy staring at him and seemingly unable to look away.

Eggsy shrunk down on himself a little bit, true. He was still at an age when self-confidence was fragile, and the way that he'd been raised had only put some fragile cracks in that armor. Eggsy knew that Harry was, according to societal conventions, supposed to be worlds away from him, but the very fact that Harry was friendly and warm instead of cold and disdainful had made him open up and expose a bit of vulnerability. Eggsy was also completely unaware of how much he revealed, how much he wore his emotions on his sleeve. He blushed, but he didn't avert his eyes. "Nothin' wrong with posh, really. I just don't want them to make a fuss when I'm there."

"Nonsense," Harry scoffed, "They've had fair warning I might be dropping by with a guest. You will be more than welcome there." Harry's smile softened when he glanced at Eggsy again. The boy had the most apprehensive look on his face, all shrunk in on himself in the seat with upturned eyes. It was beyond adorable. Harry would gladly introduce his right hook to anyone who said otherwise. 

The drive down to Savile Road didn't take long, even with a fair bit of traffic, and soon Harry was pulling the car up to another kerb and placing another permit on the mirror. Fashionable pedestrians milled up and down the street in small groups, often with shopping bags in hand and. 

"Here we are," Harry announced before he unlocked the doors.

Eggsy's eyes only grew wider. This was leagues away from any place his mother had taken him before, or his friends. The pedestrians around them were perfectly coiffed, wearing tailored designer clothing, walking on shoes that may well have exceeded his mother's budget for the month, if not for the year. Harry fit in immediately once he exited the car, but Eggsy stuck out like a sore thumb.

The clash only made the boy edge closer to Harry. He stuck by the older man's side, trying to look everywhere at once. A number of tailor shops lined the strip, but Eggsy couldn't guess which one was Harry's.

"The hatter's is a few streets down, and there's a lovely little bakery on the end there we could go for a treat, but I think we'll stop by Kingsman first." Harry put his hand to the boy's shoulder and welcomed their closeness, using it to guide Eggsy along with him as they walked down the street. The crowd was not so thick as to be bothersome--it rarely was and Harry found that to be a blessing--but it was a busy enough time of the day to give Eggsy plenty to look at. Men in suits as fine or nearly as Harry's passed them with ladies in sharp cut dresses, coiffed hair, and not a care in the world. 

Harry brought the boy to a little white bricked shop with a dark yet warmly lit front window, embellished with gold lettering proclaiming itself "Kingsman" before a neat little row of fine menswear inside. 

Eggsy was completely flustered, both from Harry's hand on his shoulder and the sight of the men outside. Not all were much to look at - clothing could only do so much, after all - but some had been so finely tailored that they might as well have been models in Michelle's old magazines. It took a second for Eggsy to turn away from the street behind them and take a look at the shop they'd just walked into.  
Rich wood paneling lined the walls, accompanied by tasteful hunter green wallpaper on the upper half. Everywhere Eggsy looked, there were rich fabrics - cut and displayed on model forms, neatly arranged on carved wooden tables, in squares within leather-bound swatch books. The glassy eyes of stuffed deer and the arrogant gazes of historical figures in gilded photographs gazed at him wherever he turned, illuminated by electric lights set into sconces and golden chandeliers. Even the rugs set atop the polished hardwood were rich, colorful, and likely so expensive that he shouldn't tread on them.

An older gentleman who stood bent over a clerk's desk in the back looked up and took in Harry with a certain amount of respect. "Ah, Mr. Hart. Can't stay away on your day off?" 

Harry smiled good naturedly. "No need Dagonet. Out on pleasure today, not business. And certainly glad to be so." Harry gave Eggsy a pat on the shoulder as the boy looked around, not quite daring to move away from Harry's side. "Eggsy, allow me to introduce Mr. Dagonet, who without fail oversees business in the shop day in and day out. Dagonet, may I introduce Eggsy Unwin, whom I've promised a short tour this afternoon." 

The man's brows rose as he took in Eggsy, but it was not an unpleasant look that crossed his features, merely one of mild bemusement. He came around the desk to greet them properly. "Very good to meet you." 

Eggsy took Dagonet' hand automatically, giving it a shake while he glanced around in disbelief. "This is _your_ shop?" he practically squeaked. He wasn't sure what he'd expected Harry's business to look like. He didn't know much about these things, but he knew enough to know that Saville Row was the deep end of the pool. "Um. Sorry, Mr. Dagonet. It's good to meet you too. Have you known Harry for awhile?"

"Oh yes, years it's been now." The man smiled politely. "Shall I escort you on a short tour?" 

"No no, I won't keep you; I'm more than happy to show Eggsy around myself," Harry broke in. 

"Very well then, sir. Although I feel I must warn you, James has notified me he'll be stopping by with one of his lady friends soon. I expect them in about an hour." 

"Another one?" Harry rolled his eyes at that. "Thank you Dagonet. We'll be out of your hair well before then." And then Harry put his hand to Eggsy's shoulder again while Dagonet nodded politely and went back to his desk. 

The warmth and pressure on the boy's shoulder turned his attention back to Harry. Eggsy glanced up. Harry didn't miss the way his eyes caught - on the taper of his lapel and the collar that framed his neck and face, or on the glint of a cufflink as Harry raised his hand to push his glasses up. "You really run all this? What do you do when you're here, design stuff?" 

They reached a portion of the room where the tables were closer together, and Eggsy had to draw even closer to Harry's side to avoid running into one that was stacked high with cloth. The boy radiated heat; Harry could feel it, and the outline of Eggsy's body, even through the side of his trousers, if only for a moment.

It gave Harry an idea. "Yes, and meet with customers. Each piece we make is commissioned exactly to the wearer's specifications, down to every detail. No matter the request, whether traditional or outlandish. For example," Harry led Eggsy to a row of smoking jackets and blazers, next to another set of fully suited mannequins. He reached up to one in dark navy blue with very subtle pin striping. "With your hair and your complexion, I believe a deep blue would suit you well. And with a lighter tie to match your eyes." Harry pulled open a drawer beside the display pieces and found a light blue tie, which he proceeded to drape over Eggsy's neck, atop his hoodie and everything, to look at the boy.

"What? Ties?" Eggsy craned his neck to look at the pieces Harry was holding up against him or setting atop his shoulder. He was intimidated, both by the fact that he was so profoundly out of his element and because of the way Harry was looking at him: calculatingly, piercingly, before he drew closer and all Eggsy could see was his hands and the intent look on Harry's face.

It shouldn't have been titillating. Eggsy could feel his heart pounding away, and his head was growing light. Harry caught his chin with one hand and, inexplicably, Eggsy thought for one heart-stopping moment that the older man was going to kiss him, but all he did was tilt Eggsy's head so that he could see how well the fabric matched with his complexion.

Harry warmed at the sudden flush in Eggsy's cheeks. He could feel just as well as see the way the boy's breath caught and it brought a smile to his lips. "Very nice," Harry said softly before pulling away again and setting the tie back in its drawer. With a hand upon Eggsy's shoulder again, Harry steered him to the row of velvet jackets. "Or if you'd prefer a relaxing night in, might I suggest something in dark burgundy. With a warm light and a jacket light this, you'd give me a run for my money at home." And Harry could easily picture it, Eggsy at his dining table, or relaxing in Harry's sitting room as they'd done once before, clad in Kingsman finery and soft to the touch everywhere Harry might lay his hands. 

"I've never worn somethin' this fancy in my _life_ , much less when I just got a night in." Eggsy glanced at one of the full bodied mirrors viewable through an open dressing room doorway. He was struck by how different he looked with even just the sleeve of a jacket held up against him, and at the way he and Harry looked beside one another. Harry could very well have been mistaken for a father figure, taking his son out to be fitted. Or something else entirely; Eggsy remembered some of the articles he'd skimmed past in his mother's magazines right before the photosets, gushing about the perks of finding a wealthy, older man who took pleasure in pampering their younger partner.

Eggsy suddenly couldn't look at Harry. The tips of his ears were red and he was sharply aware of just how close they were, how much Harry was touching him... and that there were fewer ambiguities. Harry was gay, like him.

Harry went on as though he took no notice of Eggsy's colouring. While Dagonet greeted customers, Harry took the boy around the store, picking out items that suited the boy until Eggsy could look at him again simply because he couldn't avoid it any longer. 

Harry let himself smile as their eyes met in the mirror after he'd draped a deep green silk around his neck, patterned with a subtle paisley design. Eggsy looked especially good in dark, rich colours. Harry let the moment linger, enjoying the way they looked together for a moment longer than was strictly necessary before he gave a small laugh and lowered his voice to the boy's ear. "You're indulging me." He turned his tone fond, self-deprecating, before he put the fabric aside and took in Eggsy as he was. 

"Izzat so?" Eggsy was off-balance, and his accent came off all the thicker for it, nowhere close to Harry's cultured, rounded speech. Confusion filled the boy's eyes, and a question. Eggsy didn't know whether he was imagining things or not, and he couldn't ask. He couldn't even conceive that the suspicion in his mind was correct. Harry couldn't be flirting with him. He _couldn't_ be, and asking about it would just ruin their friendship. The thought of losing what they had was more than enough to still the boy's tongue. 

"So long's you enjoy it. I'm not bored or anythin'. I just... where'd I even wear something like this?" Eggsy laughed. His hands went to the strings of his hood, fidgeting with the cords. 

Harry laughed softly. "Oh you never know. I could certainly find an occasion or two. The theatre, perhaps, or out to dinner." Eggsy still looked out of sorts so Harry placed his hands on the boy's shoulders, grounding him. "A suit can never make a man, however. It can dress him up, accentuate his best features for the world to see, but it'll always be the man underneath that is truly exemplary, no matter he happened to be wearing before he put it on. Remember that." He gave the boy's shoulders a light squeeze before he let his hands fall again. "That said, we'd best be on our way. Much more to see. And I'd very much like to pop by the bakery before we're through."

Eggsy brightened up. That had been a very Harry thing to say, and one of the many reasons the boy liked him so much: Harry wasn't condescending. Someone else might have made fun of his clothes or his lack of knowledge, or laughed at his confession that he had no place to wear such finery to, even if he could afford it. Harry was the opposite of what Eggsy expected from the posh crowd. He was warm and accepting, and he made it clear that he didn't think Eggsy was to be valued any less simply for lacking a silver spoon. "That sounds great. I bet a bakery shop 'round here has stuff I've never seen before."

"Indeed I imagine it might." Harry led the way back through the shop, giving a polite wave to Dagonet as they left. 

The chill air back out on the street wasn't so bad after being inside, and the throng of pedestrians hadn't increased either. They walked amiably past equally posh boutiques and Harry moved slow enough to let Eggsy linger on whatever he liked as they went. It was, however, good to be out of the cold once they reached the corner side bakery, and inside it was just as warm and inviting as it looked. The aroma of freshly baked cakes and biscuits helped just as much. 

There was only a short line of customers, and Harry took Eggsy up to the display to have a look.   
"I don't know what any of these are," Eggsy whispered. Behind the glass case, pastries sat on plates in colorful, tempting displays, looking almost like the spread of a jewelry counter. Brightly colored frosted cookies were piled besides all kinds of tarts, pastry cones filled with cream, squares of fudge, and miniature cakes fit for a single person. Cupcakes were interspersed with pastry pops, scones, dessert bars, Danishes, donuts, and more savory rolls. At least at the candy store, Eggsy could guess at what things tasted like or convince the shopkeeper to let him have a little sample. Most of the nametags inside the case were foreign terms Eggsy couldn't even pronounce. "Have you had these before?"

"A few." Bending to see the display like that put Harry shoulder to shoulder with the boy and for once gave them an equal height. "Those yellow ones in the middle there have cream in the centre and they're to die for. I'm equally fond of the little chocolate ones to the left, lots of mousse and caramel. You'll find I've a weakness for cream of almost any kind," Harry admitted with a pained expression. He glanced at Eggsy. "Pick out whatever you like, and I'll see if I can find something I think you might like as well." 

After a lot of looking and internal debating, Eggsy pointed to the chocolate treats Harry had mentioned. With so many options and only one opportunity to choose, Eggsy wanted to play it safe. It was a habit ingrained from his limited pocket money, before he'd learned how to shoplift. When you didn't get treats very often, disappointments were felt even more sharply.

The shopkeeper slid open the glass panel at the back of the case and took out Eggsy's selection, chatting amiably with Harry. Eggsy looked, but the baker didn't seem to think anything was amiss about the two of them; she was reading them as, perhaps, father and son.

Harry selected the yellow ones with cream and cannoli for both of them. Together with two mugs of tea, Harry paid at the register and brought their plate of treats to a table beside the window with Eggsy trailing behind. They settled in and Harry set everything between them. He sliced away half the cream pastry and let out a little moan of appreciation, not entirely exaggerated. "Do try that one, I have no idea what it's called to be honest, but it's delicious." 

Eggsy complied. Things ended up a mess; sliced in half as they had been, the vanilla cream had begun oozing out. By the time Eggsy got his first bite, bits of cream were all over his fingers and on his lips. The boy's eyes immediately went distant with appreciation. "...oh. _Oh_. Yeah, you're right about that one. Kinda reminds me of those long things at Tesco, but this is so much _better_."

Eggsy licked the remnants of the cream from his fingers before he grabbed the knife and turned towards his own selection. Harry had cut his pastry in half to share, so it seemed only right to do the same.

Harry laughed and couldn't help licking his lips in sympathy for Eggsy's shining pink ones. They looked so soft. Harry could just imagine what they would feel like. Pastries had been an excellent idea. He took a bite of the half of chocolate Eggsy offered, balancing it precariously upon his spoon and closing his eyes as the caramel and cream hit his tongue. Harry knew he was putting on a bit of a show, but it was worth it. He was certainly getting one in return whether Eggsy knew it or not.   
"Mm, thank you." Harry put down the spoon and split the pieces of cannoli between them.

The boy tilted his head to look at the broken cannoli. It was common enough, but Eggsy's expression said he'd never seen the dish before. He reached forward to grab his half, and Harry was treated again to a view of Eggsy's lips closing around a longer pastry and the aftermath of dealing with the cream filling that had spilled out. Sugar was perking Eggsy up in the same manner it tended to do to all children, with an added bonus: the boy was starting to relax and worry less about how out of place he felt.

Harry couldn't stop smiling. He picked up a piece of his own and managed to bite into it a little more delicately, avoiding cream spillage out the end. Harry also couldn't help watching Eggsy as he ate, and, much to his amusement, found that Eggsy couldn't seem to stop watching him either. So Harry went slowly, interspersing every bit with sips of tea. He even licked his lips, his thumb, his forefinger, when he was finished and Eggsy's eyes lingered on him all the while. 

It was enough to stir a deep sense of arousal in his belly, one that, if not contained, could become a very noticeable problem. 

Eggsy was again hit with a strange sense and tried to dismiss it. He didn't have any experience in what it was like to have an older friend who wasn't family. Harry wouldn't be interested in skating, or skipping rocks down at one of the park ponds, or any of the other stuff Eggsy normally did with mates closer to his age. Harry was very different, and so it made sense that spending time with him would be different, too.

Any notion that Harry was flirting with him just had to be Eggsy interpreting things wrong, or so the boy told himself. He was just looking at things wrong, thinking so much about what it relief it was to have a gay friend and all of his problems that he was comparing things to... well, _dates_ , like what other kids at school had done. The idea that it might be wishful thinking left Eggsy even more confused; it meant part of him found Harry attractive enough to want it to be real. All _that_ did, in turn, was prompt him to sneak more looks at the older man, thinking back on the photographs in the magazines he'd lost.

Perhaps it was a crush, like the girls at school sometimes got on one of the teachers. Nothing good would come from showing it, though, Eggsy was sure. The girls at school were mercilessly teased whenever someone found out, and the teacher in question always was awkward and cold with them after that. The thought of hurting his friendship with Harry didn't bear thinking about, even for the sake of being honest, and so Eggsy buried his nose in his tea cup and tried his best to look at Harry whenever he thought the older man wouldn't notice.

It wasn't long before there were only crumbs and bits of cream scraped away on empty plates between them. 

Harry sat back and drained the last of his tea. Eggsy didn't look like he could get any more flustered, and that warmed Harry all the more. Eggsy was desperately avoiding embarrassment, and it was...rather entertaining to watch, if Harry was honest with himself. Exciting, too. Even if he had to hold back now. He'd indulged himself with teasing closeness all afternoon so far, but now Harry was going to have to reign it in a little, for their next destination called for a certain modicum of...tact. 

"Think you're ready to visit that bookstore?" Harry asked casually. 

"Yeah." Practically buzzing with sugar, Eggsy smiled at Harry just a bit longer than usual. "Thanks, for this. You were right on about the yellow ones. I'd never have got to try them if it weren't for you." Realizing that he was staring, Eggsy slid out of his chair and grabbed their dishes. He was used to helping tidy after meals, and after a second he spotted the dish tub in the corner and began carrying things over. He kept his face carefully turned away, willing himself to stop being so bloody _stupid_.

Harry stood while Eggsy's back was turned and so when the boy turned again he suddenly found Harry much closer, with a half grin on his face, reaching for Eggsy's shoulder again. 

Harry just couldn't help it. Feeling the delicate bone under his fingertips felt like being grounded, knowing that the boy was indeed within reach. It was fortunately a comfortable and common gesture, especially when Harry steered them back out into the chill. With Eggsy in only his hoodie and Harry in his suit and blazer, they were not exactly well protected against the elements should it get any colder. Even if the shop was just about within walking distance, Harry decided to take them back to his car and make the trip a little more pleasant.

Eggsy relaxed as much as he could into the cradle of the leather seats, nervous all over again. He didn't think Harry had noticed anything, but with the way his thoughts had been turned, his pulse had spiked the moment Harry had surprised him and guided him back out the door with a touch of his hand.

Hands much bigger than his. Hands that probably already had experience with- Eggsy nearly groaned. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about this. Thinking was only making things _worse_. The boy turned to one side, forcing himself to look out the window at the people and shopfronts they were passing by. His awareness shifted, and after a few minutes of driving, Eggsy squirmed and lifted himself up to touch a hand to the seat underneath him.

"...the seats in your car heat up?" Eggsy's blush had returned, but it came with relief; it _hadn't_ been what he'd feared it might be.

Harry gave a short laugh. "Indeed they do. Quite comfy, wouldn't you say?" Eggsy's blush deepened and Harry respectfully looked back out the window. "That'll get even nicer come winter," Harry added, knowing the boy wouldn't miss the implicit understanding that Harry expected Eggsy would still know him then and still be riding around in his car. 

The drive wasn't long at all. It felt like they were pulling up to another kerb on the street almost as soon as they'd left the last, with this shop apparently being only a few streets away. Harry caught sight of it across the street and nodded to a blue fronted brownstone building. The sign above the shop proudly read "Gay's the Word" in capital font.

Eggsy stared. He couldn't help it. "That's... they can just do that? And nobody bothers them?" Some of the signs in the window were too small to be read across the street, but bits could be made out from words that were in larger font. From what Eggsy could tell, it was an exclusively gay bookstore. What he didn't know was what that _meant_ , or how it was even possible. "Will they even let me in there?"

"They'll let you in. And yes, they have had their fair share of being bothered, believe me. But once they managed to prove to the police that they haven't been peddling pornography, they haven't been raided in years." Harry said it so mildly that Eggsy turned to look at him until he broke his composure and gave the boy a nudge in the side. "C'mon." 

With renewed energy, Harry got out of the car and waited for Eggsy before he led the boy across the street. The shop was actually quite small as anyone could plainly see from the outside. 

"This place has quite a history actually," Harry began as he opened the door to usher the boy inside.   
Eggsy stuck close to Harry once they were inside, wide-eyed and trying to look everywhere at once. He'd never known that someplace like this existed, that people like him could even _publish_ books about such things. The shelves and racks were full of titles, everything from what looked like romance stories and children's books to serious non-fiction. The boy's eyes were sliding past some of the titles when they caught on _The Joy of Gay Sex_ and stuck there for a long moment. Harry was a comforting, warm presense at his side; if he hadn't been there, Eggsy wouldn't have been brave enough to stay. 

"...do they have _everything_ here?" Eggsy finally asked, looking at a shelf that was labeled _Coming Out & Relationships_.

"Hm, they certainly have a lot." Harry gave a smile and a nod to the shopkeeper, a middle aged, friendly looking man bent over set of papers, who nodded and smiled back in return before he put his nose to the papers again. "This store has been as much a hub for the community as it’s been an actual bookshop," Harry continued. "Local groups keep newsletters here and I'd wager they still hold meetings on a regular basis. Authors occasionally come in and do readings of their work." 

Harry moved slowly through the racks of books, letting Eggsy linger as he skimmed through the titles, pausing when the boy found something that caught his attention until he moved close to Harry's side again. 

Harry bent a little and lowered his voice, "Ah, there's only one section in the back I believe I'm not allowed to show you." 

Eggsy immediately turned curious eyes on Harry. With what looked like sex manuals scattered among the relationship books closer to the front, the boy could only imagine what might be sectioned off away from him. Already his fingers were itching to take some of the books home... but he couldn't. He didn't have money, and he couldn't steal in front of Harry, and besides - it was likely that his mother would be going back through his room again. Until he found better hiding spots, having gay books was just asking for trouble. "Not allowed?" he whispered back. "So there is porn?"

Harry laughed softly. "There is. Even though laws restricting such things change constantly, the majority of the store is now considered serious literary material." He straightened again and let his fingers brush along Eggsy's back, a thoughtless gesture if anyone were to observe them, but, considering the topic of conversation, one that Harry suspected might stick in Eggsy's mind for some time to come. The man at the register looked like someone who'd seen all sorts wander through these rows of books, and Harry and Eggsy were no more worthy of suspicion than anyone else. 

Eggsy considered this, and shivered as Harry's touch made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He wanted to see, but he also didn't want to push his luck or get Harry into trouble. It didn't matter either way, because he wouldn't be allowed to buy anything, and he'd bet money that such a section was similar to what his mates had described on the store's they'd gone to for more commonplace publications: everything sealed up in opaque plastic bags, so that you couldn't really see anything unless you bought them. 

"Do you come here a lot?" he asked. The boy searched for something interesting he could pull off the shelf and browse despite Harry being right there, but everything that he wanted to look at was too embarrassing to look at while the older man looked on.

"Not really," Harry mused and began to thumb through material on his own, noticing Eggsy's nervousness. He plucked a book off the shelf just to set an example and show Eggsy he was welcome to look. "I rarely have the occasion, and it's more enjoyable to bring someone along." Harry paused, sliding the book back in the slot it had left behind. "I do, however, have a much smaller collection at home. And I enjoy picking up more on occasion." Harry paused while they meandered through another stack. "I know you're wary of your mother going through your things now, but if there's anything you'd like to take home, I would not object to you keeping it at my place."

Eggsy's hand paused in the middle of reaching towards a shelf. His head turned and he found Harry looking back at him. "I'd... like to. I can't, though. I'm too young for a job, and mum can't really give me money very often. Everything here looks like it's at least ten quid." Or more, in some cases. Some of the more tempting books, with glossy covers that promised to have some pictures inside, had to be double the price. Eggsy wanted to look at _everything_ , not just limit himself to what adults around him might think was proper.

"Eggsy," Harry fixed the boy under a stern gaze. "I have more money than I know what to do with and no one to lavish it upon. Indulge me." The boy's clear eyes widened and Eggsy looked like he might have frozen on the spot, so Harry relaxed. "Whatever the case, I might get something, and if you have any suggestions, I'd be willing to take them into consideration." He smiled and turned back to the case, perusing a list of poets by the names of Wilde, Pater, and Douglas. 

Eggsy had been about to ask if Harry was certain, but the way the older man had turned away had sealed things. Harry was going to be adament about indulging him, and so he had the green light to pick out what he wanted.

The question now was, what could he pick out that wouldn't prompt Harry's disapproval? Eggsy wandered past a few books that described themselves as guides to coming out, but that seemed a bit pointless to him; he didn't want to tell his friends, or Dean, and his mother already knew. Some were dry history books, but he wasn't really interested in all of that right now; he didn't want to learn about how things used to be, he wanted to know about how everything was for him _right now_. Every book he picked up seemed far too wordy. 

At last he found one. Entitled _Boys Like Us_ , it looked to at least be interesting as a collection of stories about men who had realized they were gay and gone on to live their lives. That sort of hope was something Eggsy needed right now, to see that other people had experienced similar things and ended up alright. As he wandered, the book he'd spotted when he'd walked in the door stuck out at him again, but Eggsy had no idea whether he'd be allowed two books, or one with such an explicit title. He wasn't a child, whatever his mother thought. He knew a bit about sex already, just not how it was for people like him.

All the while they browsed in silence, Harry kept a close eye on the boy. Eggsy got bolder about looking for titles on his own, but Harry could see the way he moved nervously from one shelf to the next, trying to look older than he was, a little more mature, and probably like he'd thought about this a lot longer than he had. It was heartening to see. 

Harry did truly have an assortment of such books at home, or at least _similar_ books. Less lifestyle and more, well.... But coming here he knew would set a certain precedent that Eggsy needed. This was the community. This was publicly acceptable. And Eggsy would think on that later. He would think on that when it came time to make harder decisions. 

When Eggsy thought Harry wasn't paying attention, he snuck _The Joy of Gay Sex_ off of its shelf, beating a hasty retreat to a chair tucked away in a corner of the store. He just wanted to take a quick peek, but seconds turned into minutes. The book was explicit, but in a similar way that sex education books turned out to be that were part of normal curriculum. This book, however, covered what those books didn't: what was possible outside of heterosexual reproductive intercourse. The men in the diagrams all seemed happy, and even the text was upbeat and optimistic. Like this wasn't unusual and taboo at all, just perfectly normal. Eggsy sunk into the text more than even the illustrations.

It was only so long before Harry had to go and collect him. The shopkeeper wouldn't ignore them forever. It wasn't difficult to see what Eggsy was doing either, so Harry let his footfalls sound against the floorboards and drifted casually closer before he stood over Eggsy's chair, his own selections neatly folded under one arm. 

"Find anything interesting?" Harry asked casually. 

Eggsy's guilt was projected very plainly. He shut the book and shoved it onto a nearby shelf, as if that would keep Harry from noticing and glancing at the title written across the spine. "Yeah... I mean, most everything in here is. Not stuff I've seen before, probably 'cause nobody wants to be seen selling it?" The boy looked at the stack under Harry's arm. "Looks like you found some stuff too. Anything good?"

"Just a bit of poetry." Harry smiled. "Sure you don't want to get that one, too?" Satisfaction bubbled up in Harry's chest at the sudden blush on Eggsy's cheeks. He didn't think it was possible for the boy to get quite that red, but then again with his fair complexion, Harry shouldn't have been surprised. Still he stood unfazed as though it were one of the most natural things in the world. 

"...am I allowed to?" Eggsy knew it bordered on pornography, at least in most people's minds. It was almost more explicit than his mother's magazines - most of the more adult portions of the models' anatomy had been hidden by a remaining shred of clothing or a strategically placed prop. What he'd been reading not only showed explicit illustrations of the human body, but showed and described acts in full.

"Oh pshaw," Harry scoffed, "I'll just put it in with mine. C'mon." He held out his hand, gesturing for Eggsy to rise and grab the book. The boy could barely look at Harry when he handed it over, but Harry didn't make a show of looking at it. He simply tucked it under his arm with the other books and smiled down at Eggsy again. "Ready then?"

Eggsy nodded, still painfully shy over being caught and how well Harry was taking it. How well he was taking everything, in fact. Eggsy's weekend had turned around all thanks to his friend. His mother still knew, which was _terrifying_ and too uncomfortable to describe, but he had support. Harry must have liked him a lot to take so much time to listen, give advice, take him out places, and take him into his home.

Just thinking about it gave Eggsy a warm feeling. He glanced up at Harry and felt it turn into something deeper, something that left him with a fluttery feeling in his stomach.

It was a crush. That _had_ to be it, and Eggsy nearly moaned. That was why he was seeing things that weren't there and why he kept acting so strange around his older friend. He was going to ruin _everything_ if Harry found out.

Eggsy's cheeks stayed reddened as he followed Harry back to the register, stayed that way as Harry paid and exchanged thanks with the clerk, stayed that way all the way back out onto the street and they were hit with a rush of cold wind again. 

Harry reached out and rubbed the boy's shoulder, pulling him closer for warmth and reassurance as they walked, pretending not to notice all the while. He let Eggsy go as they got to the car. "So," Harry began as he started the engine and turned on the heat again. "Where to next? We could stop by the theatre, see if there are any good shows coming up. There's a comic book store down the street I believe. Or we could simply find a quiet spot to have a cup of tea, read, watch the people go by...." 

"Comics," Eggsy asserted, but softly. He glanced up, but Harry seemed to have taken no offense. "If that's okay. I just watched a movie with my mum earlier, and I don't really wanna... um, read in public. I don't want people to see." Comic books were safe, and full of fantasy that he could get lost in. People were unpredictable and nosy and more judgmental than Eggsy wished.

"Right. We'll leave these for later, then." Harry set their bag of purchases on the floor behind his seat. One more stop and that would be more than enough for the day. Eggsy had been out of his depth for hours now, and it wasn't hard to guess that the boy might like some familiarity, something he felt more confident in enjoying. 

That did, however, put Harry out of place as they parked and walked through the chiming double doors of their next stop, with posters of superheroes and Japanese schoolgirls plastered across the windows and teenagers milling through the aisles.

Eggsy, however, was right in his element. Aside from a few niche franchises, most of the faces plastered on the walls and scattered through cases in miniature plastic form were familiar. Eggsy likely only knew a few basics, as he rarely had the money to purchase anything and the store didn't approve of customers reading without buying, but this was something that the boy was very comfortable with. Children and adults alike wandered the store, none as formally dressed as Harry. Eggsy took off, and short as he was, Harry almost immediately lost sight of him.

It put him at a bit of a disadvantage. Harry stood there in the centre of the store, just observing the people milling about. Fortunately, he was well used to being out of place. Harry stooped to pick up a title off the rack and skim through its contents. His posture remained easy and even though the material was not really his taste, he got the gist of the story before he put it down and moved on. 

Idly, Harry wondered what kinds of titles Eggsy enjoyed. Probably the usual he might expect from a boy who hadn't yet entered puberty. If he'd read any regularly, they would have been borrowed from his friends. Very likely the group of them shared games and reading material that wasn't too expensive. Harry had surmised that was how Eggsy received some of his early sports magazines in the first place. 

Scanning the aisles, Harry eventually spotted a familiar head of hair. Eggsy was leaning against one stand packed with sorted, boxed comics up top, the shelves underneath offering compilation books of the same series. The boy had one of the graphic novel books open, and the figure plastered across the cover was common enough in popular culture that even Harry recognized it: Spiderman.

So absorbed was Eggsy that he didn't notice Harry's approach until the older man was within arm's reach. When he finally did glance up and recognize him, the smile he gave Harry was so softly joyful that Harry felt a pang of longing. "They finally put a new one out. I've never seen this one before. They only do these awhile after everyone's bought the comics that go into 'em."

"Oh?" Harry reached over the boy's shoulder to pick up another copy, brushing arm to arm in a moment of near blissful contact. "This series has been running for so long, how could anyone possibly keep up? That's got to be thirty years of backstory at _least_." Harry pushed up his glasses and put his nose in the book, pretending not to notice how closely they stood together. So close he could feel how warm Eggsy was. He could flip through it slowly enough to appreciate the moment. 

"They change stuff all around and restart every once in a while, though. So it ends up being okay." Eggsy rocked back and forth on his feet, oblivious to how much closer it brought him to Harry in fragments of seconds. Their particular aisle was deserted except for one customer at the far end, and narrow enough that it wasn't an unusual sight for people to be close to one another. "I've never minded. It's just too good. Other superheroes are, like, gods, or super rich, or amazing scientists or stuff, but Peter's just... normal. Kinda. He's only got his aunt, and he doesn't have a lot of money and has to do normal things _besides_ saving people."

Harry hummed at that. "Sounds like an interesting read." Relatable enough to be welcoming, different enough to be exciting. "Where would you think is a good place to start?" Reluctantly, Harry moved away from Eggsy to look down the rest of the box, walking his fingers through the issues one by one. He'd introduced Eggsy to his world earlier that day. It was only fair that Harry give the boy a chance to do the same in return. Eggsy would look back on this day and Harry wanted him to remember this moment as well as he remembered the way Harry stood behind him in the shop and held silk ties to his throat. 

The boy perked up, thrilled that his friend was interested and wanted his advice. Eggsy was actually bold enough to catch Harry's sleeve and tug him down to look at the graphic novels down below. Crouched on the floor together, Eggsy began pointing to the volumes he'd read before, either in the store or from borrowing them from friends, listing off their good and bad points. He was fonder of some than of others, and all it took was for Harry to pull one of those books off the shelf to prompt Eggsy to scoot closer so they could page through the artwork together.

No one interrupted them. None of the clerks glanced their way in annoyance--the inherent shield of an expensive suit. 

Eventually, Harry picked out a couple from Eggsy's recommendations, ones that the boy had read before and liked but didn't own, and slid the newest issue--the one Eggsy coveted--onto the pile. He smiled crookedly at the boy. "This makes me feel like we need a whole lot of sweets to truly get the full experience." He could all but see the boy's eyes light up, and indeed they did grow a fraction larger as Eggsy stared at Harry. It was a good look on the boy. Especially with his mouth open just that little bit.   
"I've not had the full experience, I guess," Eggsy admitted. When every pound counted, even one quid seemed like an extravagance. Candy was easy enough to shoplift, but not always something he wanted enough to risk it. "Not with sweets, anyways. Comics are best read at night, though. One of these books, and some blankets and a flashlight? Yeah."

Eggsy's expression shifted, turning nostalgic. Evening childhood fantasies, no doubt, and quite different from the sort he'd begun to engage in more recently.

"Oh is that how it's done, then?" Harry arched a brow and nudged Eggsy in the shoulder. "Well if you start building blanket forts in the living room, I'll know what's going on." That brought a light shade of pink to Eggsy's cheeks even though little did the boy know how Harry would have liked to encourage time spent under the blankets with Eggsy. 

Harry found himself imagining just that as he packed up the issues they'd picked out and climbed to his feet, needlessly helping the boy up as well.

Eggsy beamed. Harry had lightened up what had started out as a disastrous day, and bought him several things on top of it. He felt safe, liked, and cared for in a way that he couldn't remember from before. "Yeah. We'll have to do that sometime. 'S the only way to read comics, really. We can build a fort, you can provide the tea or soda or whatever, and I'll catch you up on the series with as much as I know. Not knowin' your comics is a _tragedy_."

Harry laughed and walked them to the front of the shop where they did indeed find several shelves of candy. He had Eggsy pick out a few for after dinner only, he stressed, and after they paid at the register, they were once again on their way. 

The afternoon had descended into evening by then, and strolling along the walk with the sun on its way down, already hidden behind a grey sky, over the city streets painted such an iconic picture of London. Harry fished out Eggsy's comics and sweets and handed them over to the boy, hanging onto his own. Side by side and hands full they walked back to the car. 

"Well Eggsy," Harry began once they were settled in with the heat turned on and all their purchases packed away on the back seat or the boy's lap. "We have some time still before it's late. I wonder if you'd like to come back for supper?" It was pretty clear Eggsy wouldn't be able to take most of these books home with him. Even if he tried to hide them from Michelle, it was a risk. 

"Yeah. I mean, I know we had a snack at that tea shop and all, but..." Eggsy was hungry. His stomach growled a moment later and enforced the matter. He was growing, and just starting to his the phase where he was a bottomless pit bent on raiding the pantry. Eggsy popped one of the candies into his mouth, sucking on the hard shell while he looked at Harry. "I don't wanna go home yet, and my homework's not so bad. I'll be fine for Monday. If you want me to come over, that is?"

"My dear boy, I would be delighted." Harry gave him an honest smile and pulled away from the kerb. Even if he technically wasn't supposed to know the exact hour Eggsy had to be back, Harry could work within that time limit all the same. The trip back was a little farther with traffic congestion, but still nowhere near as long as it would have taken Eggsy normally. Having a town car was indeed a luxury. 

They wound up back at the increasingly familiar doorstep of Harry's house with armfuls of books. Inside it was just as welcoming and warm as it was the last time Eggsy had been there. 

"Why don't you settle in, open up some of those books if you'd like?" Harry suggested. "Dinner won't be ready for a while. Chicken and rice sound good to you?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Eggsy smiled and dashed off to the living room couch with his treasures. Harry set his own down on an end table and moved towards the kitchen, but not without glancing at the boy and where he'd settled in. Predictably, Eggsy had grabbed the more taboo of the purchases; Harry couldn't see much from that distance, but he could see enough to recognize that Eggsy had reopened the sex education manual. "Do you have any spicy sauce, or anything? Chicken and rice is better with a little kick to it. Do you even like curry?"

"Spicy, huh? We could certainly turn this into a curry." Harry checked through his cupboards just to make sure he had the ingredients and was pleased to find that he did. He was fortunate to have kept his kitchen well stocked. With that, Harry set to work dicing vegetables and starting the rice. As soon as the chicken was in the frying pan and he had a moment to wipe his hands clean, he glanced around the corner of the living room to see Eggsy with his nose buried in his new book. 

Harry watched like that for several minutes, unobserved. Eggsy turned a page. His back was pressed to the arm of the sofa, feet up on the cushions and book propped in his lap. Harry was treated to the most splendid view of the boy's slender neck while his head was turned down like that, fine hairs at the top of his catching a light shade of red in the overhead light and tempting Harry to remember just how soft they'd been. 

Eggsy was absorbed. From the look of the spine that was visible, the boy was quite a few pages further in than when Harry had caught him at the bookstore. Just the fact that Eggsy was willing to read such material openly in front of Harry said much about the degree to which he trusted and felt safe around the older man. Eggsy had gone from blushing and fearing rejection every few seconds to letting Harry take him to a gay bookstore and letting Harry see him educating himself on the subject. Explicitly.

Harry was nearly tempted into distraction when he caught a glimpse of the boy licking his lips while he turned a page, but the scent of chicken persevered, if only out of concern not to burn dinner. Harry let himself be drawn back to the stove and turned the meat in the pan, his mind very firmly elsewhere.

He did his best not to hurry. Every few minutes he stepped around the corner to observe Eggsy from afar before he checked on dinner again. Fortunately it was expected the rice would take some time. And he wanted to give Eggsy time with his books, too. The boy would have so little of it available to him, and Harry wanted him to read what he could just as much as Eggsy did. 

Roughly half an hour later, Harry left the food to simmer on the stove and stepped into the living room, this time letting his footsteps sound. He leaned against the wall for a moment as he considered Eggsy, but forced himself out of it. 

"Dinner's almost ready. Would you be so good as to fetch a bottle of wine for us again?"

Eggsy started. His attention was yanked back out of the book to the figure leaning against the far wall. "Uh... yeah, sure. What kind, though? I don't know nothin' about wine, just that it's made from grapes and all."

Harry didn't answer right away, and Eggsy couldn't avert his eyes. The boy tried to keep them trained on Harry's face, but they wandered as his attention did. Harry didn't miss any of it.

He let the corner of his mouth lift. And let Eggsy look. Having the boy's eyes on him like that was like being bathed in feather light sensation. It stirred the ever present desire in Harry's gut, and lower regions, igniting it back to life. 

"How about a Riesling this time?" Harry murmured. "A bit sweeter, but should offset the spiciness of the curry favourably." Finally Eggsy's eyes lifted back to his face and Harry didn't miss the way the boy took a shallow breath. Nor how dark his eyes looked in reaction to perhaps more than just the low light of the room. "Yellow bottle. Orange top." And with that, Harry let their eyes meet before he turned back to the kitchen. 

Eggsy was a few seconds late to follow. Even beyond the bubbling of dinner on the stove, Harry could still hear the moment Eggsy eased himself off the couch and began to move towards the kitchen. The boy hesitated in the doorway before moving along the wall to the pantry where he now knew Harry kept his wines. Harry had a split second to glance at him before he disappeared into the darkness.

It might have been purely wishful thinking that Eggsy's trousers seemed a bit tight, but Harry rather doubted it.

Minutes later, the boy resurfaced with a bottle in hand. He glanced at Harry before scurrying out of the room to bring it to the dining room table.

Harry turned back to the stove, letting himself grin unseen while dishing the chicken and vegetables and rice into large bowls before he brought them to the table. 

Eggsy was there waiting for him patiently. Or, perhaps just patiently enough. He fidgeted where he stood with a hand on one chair and didn't seem to be able to meet Harry's eyes. 

"Come, help me with silverware." Harry clapped a hand upon Eggsy's shoulder and brought the boy with him to the kitchen and back with plates and cutlery in hand, admittedly just to feel close again. 

They sat down across the table, but closer than they'd been since the car and Harry was glad now that he did not have such a large table. Seeing Eggsy face to face as he dished up their plates was a pleasure.   
"So," Harry began, "Are you enjoying your book?"

"Um." Eggsy flushed again, and the embarrassed look on his face said it all. "Yeah. There's a lot-... just a lot of stuff I didn't know. They don't really talk about this kinda stuff in school, even with the older kids, but I've read a couple of things in the library. They just weren't really helpful. A lot of it was boring and not really anything I needed to know, because I was kinda _starting_ to figure things out." 

Eggsy jabbed his fork into his bowl, but the mixture was still steaming and too hot to eat quite yet. "Not that it matters. I don't got a boyfriend or nothin'. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about any of it. None of the blokes at school think it's weird yet that I've not gone after girls, but they will soon enough if they don't at least hear me sayin'... y'know. The usual bollocks."

"Ah yes. But I imagine you'll find ways around that soon enough. You'll notice plenty of kids far older than you don't date or at least don't talk about it in school. You might have a time avoiding it with your friends at home though," Harry admitted as he mixed his rice and chicken together, daring a to take a bite before it cooled and savouring the creamy spice upon his tongue. It tasted as good as it smelled. "You don't think they'd be alright with it? Even as you got older?"

"I dunno. I mean, I'd _like_ them to be okay with it. I just don't know what they really think about things." Eggsy poked at his own bowl, watching the steam rising and not risking a bite quite yet. He licked his lips. "They've all had girlfriends. I don't know if they know anyone... gay. Or what they think about it, really. I don't have a lot of friends as it is, and they live _right next to me_. They're the only way I get to go out and do stuff, or have some things. Like, the other day, they brought me down to the skate park to meet some of their mates. I'd never have been able to go if they hadn't helped spot me the quid and taken me. I'd never had read even half the comics I like, or other stuff, if they hadn't lent me theirs. I don't want them pissed off at me over stuff I can't help."

"Hm. Perhaps it's best to wait for the right time, then. If it ever comes. That doesn't mean you won't be able to share other things with them, though. Or lead a relatively normal life. It's simply...more difficult when you're young." Harry kept his tone light and even. He thought for a minute, letting Eggsy turn that around in his head, before Harry went on. "You know, the American Black Ops have a saying. ‘When they do right, no one ever knows they were there.' You don't always have to be ashamed of keeping a secret. Sometimes, so long as you're true to yourself, you can be proud of it."

Eggsy finally risked a bite of his spiced chicken and rice. His reaction was just one more image to haunt Harry later, eyes closed for a moment as he hummed with pleasure. "God, this's good." The boy shoveled a few more mouthfuls in and swallowed before he spoke again. "I guess. It just feels like lying. Like they don't really know me, because I'm hiding from them and can't talk to them about stuff. I don't really like not having friends I can talk to straight up."

Harry considered that for another few bites. "Something tells me that you'll have those friends, in time. Whether they're the ones you have currently or not, well, that remains to be seen. Ah, shall I open this?" He turned to the bottle of wine with a noticeably more cheerful note. Eggsy watched as Harry unwrapped the bottle, slid his hands in a solid grip around the top, and uncorked it with a pop. He poured a glass for himself and then one for the boy, with only marginally less golden liquid. "There we are. I know I'm not really supposed to be offering you alcohol, but I would consider it a tragedy you not knowing your wines." 

"I don't mind." Eggsy was, all in all, secretly thrilled. Alcohol was for grown-ups, and with the way Harry talked with him and treated him, he felt like he was being seen as a real person instead of a kid that nobody needed to take seriously. "The one from last time was really good. What did you call this, Ris-ling?"

Eggsy picked up his glass after a second, raised it, and took a sip. His eyebrows rose in surprise again. "What's the difference between all these wines, anyways? They've got a bunch of fancy names in French and stuff, but I don't know what it actually _means_. I've seen a bit of the cooking shows on the telly but I don't think they're really as complicated as some of the people on the shows make it out to be."

"Ah yes, you've caught onto that early, then," Harry laughed as he took a sip of his own. Sweet, not bubbly, a little less dry than the Prosecco. "They're commonly named after places of origin, such as the Prosecco we had last time or Champagne with which I'm sure you're already familiar. The name Riesling comes from Riesling grapes, originally grown around the Rhine region of Germany. The production process can vary greatly, but major differences can come from the type of grapes used, or other fruit, even rice or barley. Generally wine has a moderate alcohol content." Harry took another sip before digging into his chicken again, eyes crinkling fondly as he watched Eggsy taste the Riesling with concentration. 

"People make wine out of _rice_?" Eggsy frowned as he thought about it, but after a few seconds, he had to admit Harry had a point. Beer was made out of some sort of grain, and rice was a grain, so it wasn't out of the question for it to happen. It was just _weird_. 

For a few minutes they ate in silence, just enjoying the food and each other's company. Even with the starch and protein-heavy food to combat it, Eggsy was a lightweight for alcohol, and Harry had given him more for this meal than he had for the previous. Harry watched the tension drop away from the boy's shoulders and and the way his movements became more fluid.

It was difficult, _so_ difficult, not to imagine the things he could do to Eggsy with just another glass. Merlin had been right. If Harry wanted to face the consequences, he could do it. He could even do it with the boy willing at this point, and that thought sent a hot pang of anticipation directly to the pit of his stomach. He took another long sip of his glass. If he wanted to do this right, however, the way _he_ wanted it, he had to wait. 

Still, there were other ways he could get close to the boy. 

Harry replenished their glasses once more before the meal was finished, again with Eggsy's just full enough for him to feel the buzz at his size without becoming overwhelmed. By the time the boy set his fork aside, his cheeks were a little pink and he had the most pleasant smile upon his face. Harry felt much the same, if he were honest. He picked up their plates and put them in the sink. 

"I'd say we have a little time yet before your mother might expect you home," Harry announced. "Perhaps I'll take a look at the books we found today as well."

"Just the ones you got? Or did you want to read Spiderman?" Eggsy was completely relaxed at that point and, although not thinking about it in quite so many concrete words, anxious to show Harry something for once. Harry had talked to him, cooked for him, taken him places, and started to show him movies he was fond of that Eggsy had never seen. It was only fair, being that they were friends, for Eggsy to share a bit of his interests with the older man. "I could explain anything that's not in the comic. I'm pretty sure I know enough. Maybe it's too late to give them a proper read, though."

"Oh I don't know, we could still start. Why not?" Harry looked around the living room with his hands on his hips before his eyes alighted on a few throw pillows and a blanket tossed over a chair. "Aha. I do believe we'll even be able to do this the proper way," he added with a grin as he retrieved the items and went to the sofa. "Hm. Is it a proper fort if we keep the cushions on the couch? Seems more comfortable that way," Harry asked while he unfolded the blanket and tossed one side over the back of the sofa and let the other drape over the edge of the seat. 

Eggsy rolled his eyes. It was such a quintessentially childish expression that Harry nearly laughed. "That's cheating, but I guess we can let it go this time. I guess you're kinda tall for a table or a chair fort anyways." Harry waited for him to continue, but Eggsy's own comment sidetracked the boy, who was now staring at Harry's samesaid legs with the slightly unfocused fascination of the inebriated.

Harry grinned. "Go and fetch our snacks and books then. I'll see if I can find a torch...." He moved to a closet and idly ran his fingers through the back of his hair as he searched. Knowing Eggsy was watching and having lost his jacket some time ago, Harry stretched up to reach the top shelf, the lean line of his body growing taut with the motion, stretching the buttons of his shirt against his chest. "Aha!" he declared as he settled back down on his heels, torch in hand. He walked back to the side of the couch and flipped back the blanket. "So, do you think we should start from the most recent and work our way back? Or the other way around?"

Eggsy blinked. It took the boy a good few seconds to process what Harry had said. When his brain finally caught up, he flashed Harry a sheepish grin and began to stumble towards the kitchen on awkward footing that had nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with being a pre-teen. "Other way around. It's better to start, um, from the back. If we do the most recent one it'll just be confusing." 

With that, Eggsy vanished through the doorway to the kitchen. The books were still in the den, where Eggsy had originally taken them, but the snacks had been tucked away on one side of the countertop. The boy was short enough that reaching too far back on the counter necessitated him to rise up on his tiptoes while he stretched. He took longer than was strictly necessary to retrieve the sweets and crisps packets nestled in a plastic bag; Eggsy needed a minute to catch his breath and calm down.

Harry waited patiently for his return. The lights were still on, but kept as soft as Harry usually kept them, they would in fact need the torch. He'd seated himself on the sofa by the time Eggsy walked back into the living room, comic books in one hand and bars of chocolate and gummies in the other. He looked, unsurprisingly, a little nervous. 

So Harry laughed and passed a hand over the back of his neck. "Now you're really going to have to show me how to do this. I haven't made forts with friends since I was a kid and as you've pointed out, I'm a little tall for it now." But he'd left the setup pretty obvious. Even the pillows at one arm of the couch to put their heads helped. All Eggsy needed to do was meet him halfway. 

"Ok, well..." Eggsy huffed out a breath, looking at what they had to work with. He hadn't quite thought things through beforehand, and only just now was remembering how close and enclosed blanket forts tended to be. Such a trait didn't matter much when you were just with a bunch of mates, but contemplating that reduced space with _Harry_ was making Eggsy three kinds of flustered. 

Eggsy grabbed a couple of chairs. "First thing, we gotta move the little table out of the way. The blanket goes over the back of the couch and the tops of the chairs, but they're turned in, see, so we can use the seats like a shelf... so one of us has to hold the torch, and the other person will pass the sweets, right?"

Harry grinned wide. "Alright." He stood and moved the coffee table since it was rather heavy and Eggsy wouldn't have been able to do it on his own. The pair of sitting chairs were also pretty heavy, and so Harry helped with those too. They draped the blanket together, and when they were finished, it really did look like a little tent over the sofa. "Ah," Harry pushed up his glasses. "Should have probably left a door." So he undid one edge of the blanket just enough for Eggsy to climb over the arm of a chair and onto the sofa first while Harry crawled in behind him, laughing at himself all the while. "I think I'm more of a fort-destroying monster than an inhabitant if I'm honest."

Eggsy laughed and flopped down on the couch, propping himself up on his elbows and tucking one pillow underneath him. "Just so long as you fit, you'll be fine. Don't forget the torch and the snacks before you fix it," he added, accepting one of the books Harry passed to him. As it was, from the boy's vantage point he got an eyeful watching Harry turn to deposit their supplies onto the chair seats before he had to contort to fix the blanket canopy behind himself.

"Shove over," Harry chuckled and nudged Eggsy in the side as he climbed over the boy. In those two seconds he had Eggsy under him, Harry imagined what this would be like for real. All he had to do was hover there, lower himself atop the boy, press his lips to the soft skin of Eggsy's neck.... But Harry kept moving until he was wedged on his side between Eggsy and the back of the couch, their legs stretched out lengthwise. They both barely fit, but that wasn't going to be particularly comfortable. "Alright, little more," Harry said and worked an arm underneath Eggsy's back so he could lay down and the boy could lie atop his shoulder. Eggsy was small enough that Harry still had both arms free like that, and he turned on the torch, diffusing it a little by pointing it to the side. With his arm bent and it resting on their stomachs, he was practically hugging the boy. "That's better." 

Eggsy's blush was exquisite, and _so close_. With as much reading as he'd done earlier that day, Harry wasn't the only one who'd had divergent private thoughts. Eggsy squirmed a bit to get comfortable and in embarrassment to the rebellious way his body was reacting. He could only imagine how thoroughly Harry would reject him if he learned about Eggsy's crush, and then he'd lose the person who was fast becoming his mentor as well as a close friend. "Ok, you... you got the torch. I can reach the snacks from here. You ready?"

Harry nodded as seriously as their positions would allow. "Ready." 

Eggsy looked through their new collection and selection one from the pile, propping it up on his stomach so they both could see while Harry lifted the light so it wasn't blocked. Harry listened intently as Eggsy explained necessary parts of the backstory and where this issue was diverging, but that it would be relevant to future issues later, and before long, they were reading. Well, Harry was reading. Eggsy insisted he was too shy, and so, faithfully and rather than reading alone, Harry picked up the slack, imitating both the narrator's voice and Peter Parker's internal dialogue in a decidedly over the top style. He did find it consistent with the writing, however, and occasionally Harry had to stop so they could catch their breaths from laughing. 

"It sounds funny when you do it," Eggsy finally teased once he grew bold enough. Rather than grow self-conscious at Harry's mock-affronted gasp, he laughed. "It works for the narrator a bit, but Peter's a city kid. It's not right, hearin' him talk all posh." 

Eggsy cleared his throat and, risking one last glance at Harry, picked up Peter's lines on the next panel. He wasn't quite as melodramatic as Harry had been, but he no longer was as shy or self-conscious of his own accent. Eggsy made it all the way to the end of the page without stumbling, reaching sideways once he was done for a handful of the gummies stashed on the chair.

Harry caught the edge of the page with his free hand and took over holding it along with the torch. He neglected to mention Peter Parker was also American. Harry played the narrator back and forth with Eggsy while the boy popped gummies into his mouth. It was...a bit distracting. Out of the corner of his eye he could watch Eggsy's plump little lips suck the candies into his mouth before the boy spoke up again. 

Finally Harry nodded his head at the bag. "Give me one of those." He lifted his side of the page and the torch to indicate he couldn't do it himself. 

Eggsy turned to grab a handful, but when he turned back, a frown creased his brow. He already had half the page, and Harry had the other and the torch. The boy had been planning on dropping the candies into Harry's hand, but he didn't have a free one. "How d'we want to do this? Can you hold it up enough that I can grab the middle and keep it open?"

"Mm, probably," Harry admitted though that had not been what he'd hoped for. Still, he lifted his side while Eggsy readjusted his grip to the middle and Harry could let go. It was still a little awkward in that the arm that had been wrapped around Eggsy was now the one that was free, and so when Harry plucked a candy out of Eggsy's palm, he had to lean over the boy a little and cross his arm over Eggsy's chest to put it in his mouth. It was delightful. Harry didn't try to stop himself from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, and that got Eggsy giggling, too. 

"You know one thing I've never understood? Why nobody figures out that they should just... follow Peter around," Eggsy mused, laughing again as Harry snuck another candy and the resulting arm movement pressed them closer together. Close enough that Eggsy had to hope that he wasn't about to be mortally embarrassed. "He keeps turning in all these amazing photographs, which doesn't mean that he _is_ Spiderman, but makes it pretty likely that he knows the person who is. And shows up where he gets told to show up. So all someone has to do is follow Peter until they find Spiderman."

"Very true," Harry agreed. "Although I suppose, as far as superhero disguises go, he does have one of the better ones. He's the only one I can think of who covers his face. Clark Kent and those glasses?" Harry raised an eyebrow above his own, admittedly Kent-ish, glasses. "He could definitely use some gadgets though...." 

It wasn't long before they reached the end of the issue and Eggsy fished out another. Harry could tell as the years progressed, so did the style, and dialogue, but it was still _far_ from natural and they shared more and more giggling laughter as the reading progressed. They worked out a system of Harry holding up one side of the issue when Eggsy's hand got tired, and Harry nudging Eggsy when he wanted to switch. 

All too soon, things had to come to an end. Eggsy had a curfew, after all, and one he didn't really want to test. Michelle would watch him more closely and be more reluctant to let him go off on his own if he pressed his luck too much, and Eggsy had a gut feeling about what might happen if she found out about his friendship with Harry. His mother already found his friendship with older boys troubling, but acceptable. Someone as old as Harry, who was also someone she knew and had bad memories about because of Harry's ties to his dad? Eggsy was pretty certain she'd try to keep them from talking or seeing each other.

Eggsy wasn't willing to give this up. Not the talks, or the outings, or eating together. Harry'd quickly become a very important person in his life, and Eggsy didn't want this to be one more thing he and his mother fought over.

By the time they finished the second comic, the snacks were mostly eaten and Eggsy's breath didn't smell of wine any longer. Harry had judged the timing just right on that, because as he turned off the light and pulled down the blanket fort and Eggsy climbed back to his feet, the boy didn't look pleasantly dazed anymore. 

Harry packed up what few candies they still had left and gave them to Eggsy to hide. He could manage those few if he needed to explain them to Michelle. 

"Are there any of these books you want to take home?" Harry asked as they gathered their things together and Eggsy prepared to leave. "Anything you can say you borrowed?"

"Prob'ly not. I mean, I'd _like_ to, but they all look new. I don't think mum would believe that I'd borrowed them. She might try to throw them out, too." Eggsy sucked on his lower lip and thought. "I gotta... I'm gonna see if I can figure out a new place to hide stuff in my room where she won't find it. If I can get that figured out, maybe I'll borrow something next time. I think she's embarrassed she went all crazy on me and thought I was a thief, but I don't think she's gonna stop pokin' around in my room neither. Not after she got all concerned I was lookin' at stuff she thinks is 'inappropriate'." Eggsy rolled his eyes again.

Harry offered the boy a stiff smile. "Alright then. Next time." 

They turned off the lights and left the house without much more preparation. Eggsy hadn't brought anything besides his phone and hoodie, and Harry couldn't send him away with anything either. The boy had school tomorrow and Harry was set to go back into work which rarely held a definitive schedule, but he anticipated seeing the boy again this week. Harry could call him now. They were close enough and Eggsy was comfortable enough for that. 

By the time Harry dropped the boy off at Rowley Way, it was still thirty minutes to eight and Eggsy bore no signs of his evening over at Harry's besides the sweets hidden in his pocket. 

"Give me a call whenever you like or need to get out of the house," Harry prompted. "And I'll see you soon."

Eggsy's smile was answer enough. It lit up the boy's eyes as he got out of the car and gave one last wave. "Yeah, I will. And you can call me too, y'know. I don't know how stressful tailoring is, so I probably won't understand nothing about that, but..."

Eggsy shrugged. "I better get back, anyways. I got a bit more homework to finish and mum's probably gonna grill me about what I've been doing. But I'll see you soon." With that, the boy shut the car door and shoved his hands in his pockets. He gave Harry one last wistful glance before turning and starting the walk home.

Harry's drive back was...almost surreal in its calmness. He was going to see Eggsy again. The lure of the cameras in the Unwin house beckoned him, but not as strongly as before. Harry could still feel the weight of Eggsy's body wrapped up in his arms, lying atop him, back to chest. He could still hear the boy's giggling laughter and the soft sound of his voice imitating Peter. He could still see the furtive glances Eggsy gave him as they laid like that, caught up in the moment, but never forgetting who Harry was and how close they were. 

Harry watched the feeds that night with only a dull longing in his chest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New art for this story! See end notes.

The following morning saw Eggsy back in school and Harry back at work with renewed energy. He prepared for the next big mission in Kolkata and worked with Percival to tie up a few smaller jobs in the greater London area that didn't need face to face contact. 

Weeks passed and began to form a pattern. Sometimes it would be days before Harry and Eggsy had the opportunity to speak again, and in those times Harry was limited to the cameras of the Unwin household or reviewing his favorite recordings. Inevitably, however, Eggsy would call - sometimes just to talk about his day, and how things were at home, or whatever else he was thinking about. Sometimes the boy would call Harry and want to get out of the flat, although he didn't say as much at first. As the number of outings grew, so did Eggsy's comfort and boldness. Eggsy began to feel safer in asking for what he wanted.

It was several weeks before Harry received a call much later than usual. One that he was expecting.

He'd had a long day at the manor and had just been settling in with a tumbler of scotch, not yet having checked the feeds, when his phone rang. Harry hesitated only briefly. Seeing the familiar number on the other end, he licked his lips, set his drink down atop the polished desk, and picked it up. 

"Hello?" Harry asked while he unlocked his computer and logged into the feeds. 

" _Harry_." Eggsy's voice was hushed, barely above a whisper, but had an edge of panic in it. "Y-you gotta come pick me up. _Please_. I d-don't wanna leave my mum but-... Dean just started losing it, he _hit_ her. I thought he was gonna hit _me_ , and I couldn't do nothin, so I just-... I just ran in here and locked the door, but I don't think that'll keep him out if he's really pissed, and I don't know what to do! I don't... I think I can hear mum crying on the other side, but I'm too scared to get near the door."

Harry straightened. "Alright. Eggsy? Can you get out of the flat? Leave your door locked, go out the window. I'll be there right away." He grabbed his glasses, locked the computer, and headed down the stairs, keeping the phone pressed to his ear all the while. He threw on his jacket and headed out the door. "Don't worry about your mum, just get out of the flat and we can deal with that when I get there."

"I..." Eggsy was panicking. Harry could hear it through the breathless tone of his voice, all of the boy's recent boldness and confidence vanishing the moment he saw his mother objected to physical abuse. His illusion of safety had just been shattered. "Y-yeah. Yeah, ok, I can... I can do this. The window. I... I'm... where should I go?"

"Not far. Just to the end of Rowley Way, where I usually pick you up should be fine." Harry kept his tone calm as he started the engine and pulled out onto the street. "Keep an eye out though. I'll let you know when I'm close." Harry didn't want Dean figuring out Eggsy was gone and going out to search for the boy, finding him alone at the end of the street. 

"Okay. I gotta... I'm gonna put the phone in my pocket 'cause I gotta climb down." Eggsy's voice cut off into a shifting of fabric. Distant sounds of night traffic managed to filter in, quite the contrast to the eerie silence of Eggsy's room. Harry heard sneakers hit gravel after a minute, and then Eggsy was pulling his phone out again. "I don't think he knows I'm gone, but it'd be real easy for him to bust the door and find out. What... what am I even gonna do if he hurts her more?"

"I hate to say this Eggsy, but it sounds like it's time to call the police and get him out of there. If your neighbours haven't already. Are they still fighting?" Harry picked up speed as he travelled north. It wouldn't take him long, not when he was driving like that, but every minute Eggsy had to wait alone was another the boy might turn back and do something brash. Especially at the thought of involving the authorities. 

"I... I don't even know. The screaming stopped but-" Eggsy's voice choked off into a quiet sob. "I didn't even do anything, I just ran away like a _coward_. He could still be hittin' my mum or doing something worse, just makin' it so no one hears, and I _left_ her in there. All he had to do was yell and me and... he raised his hand a bit, like he was gonna start hitting me to, and I _left_ her!"

" _Eggsy_ ," Harry made his voice sharp as he turned the next corner, "believe me, if you had tried to get between them, you'd have only made him angrier, possibly made it worse. Just hang on, I'm almost there." Harry put the call on mute, anticipating Eggsy's reaction, while opened a new line and dialled the emergency number. In a carefully controlled tone, he reported a domestic disturbance at Eggsy's flat on Rowley Way, advising the police that a woman might have been injured and disconnected before they could ask for his name. Harry knew his number would lead them to a dead end. It took less than ten seconds before he silently switched back to Eggsy. 

All that was on the other end of the line was ragged breathing. Harry could still hear night sounds in the background, however, which meant that the boy had heeded his response; Eggsy was still outside. The quiet went on for much longer than Harry was used to hearing from the boy, but eventually, Eggsy began to speak again. "...what happens if... he gets arrested and they take my mum away? To a hospital or summat?"

"Then you'll call your mum, you'll leave a message on the answering machine saying you went to a friend's house, and you'll come with me. She'll be okay, and so will you." Harry heard a sniff on the other end and he could imagine Eggsy hugging himself on the corner of the street, hearing the certainty and logic, and feeling the command, in Harry's words, yet looking back at the length of the estates just the same. 

Harry turned onto the Rowley Way corner and slowed, catching sight of Eggsy in the distance, not so dissimilar from the way he'd imagined the boy. He climbed out of the car and pocketed his phone. 

It was a testament to how shaken Eggsy was that he didn't immediately run over. Wide eyes glanced up the walk towards the direction of his flat, as if paranoid that he was being watched or Dean was coming to get him. Eggsy's first few steps were slow, but picked up speed until he was rapidly closing the distance and wrapping his arms around Harry. The tears that stained his cheeks immediately created damp patches on Harry's shirt. "I... did you see the police? Are they coming?"

"I don't know; I didn't see anything on the way here." Harry wrapped Eggsy in his arms in return. Eggsy was cold to the touch even though the boy didn't seem to notice, other worries foremost in his mind. He'd been waiting out in the chill for at least fifteen minutes, and Harry tried to warm him. 

It was then that they saw lights flashing in the distance, coming around the opposite way Harry had entered the flats. He tightened his grip on Eggsy as the police cars came into sight. There was no chance they'd be seen this far down at the other end of the walk, but Harry didn't trust that Eggsy wouldn't go running back to intercept them out of a foolish sense of loyalty. 

Harry was right to worry. Eggsy began shaking as soon as his head turned in the direction of the lights, full of nervous energy and wanting to be there. Harry had reassured him, but he still felt immeasurably guilty for abandoning his mother to whatever had been happening in the den and kitchen. Even Harry's hands that were trying to rub some warmth back into his arms and back could only distract him so much from his distress. "What if he's really hurt her, sh-shouldn't I...? Be there?"

"We'd only be in the way right now. We'll know soon enough, and if it's bad you can go to her. Right now we need to let the police take care of Dean and make sure she's okay." They watched a pack of officers hurry down the walk and up the flights of stairs to Eggsy's door. "Come on, let's get in the car where it's warm. You'll still be able to see." 

Harry led the boy back even though Eggsy couldn't take his eyes off the upper floor in the distance. 

A good number of minutes passed after the officers disappeared into the flat. Eggsy couldn't relax, even with the heated seats and warmth of the car, or with Harry squeezing his hand in reassurance. Finally, a broad-shouldered man appeared in the doorway and began to be marched down the stairs, hands cuffed behind him. A few officers followed him down the squad cars.

A few more minutes ticked by before two more officers appeared, flanking Michelle Unwin on either side. 

Her head was down, but she was walking on her own feet without trouble. Judging by her posture and that of the officers, Harry surmised that they were taking her in for minor treatment and a statement.  
"She looks alright," Harry said quietly. "Now would be a good time to leave that message for when she gets back. We can call into the station, too, so the police aren't out looking for you." 

Eggsy didn't answer right away. He stared at his mother off in the distance, looking to be on the verge of tears again, but Harry was right: she looked, if not _fine_ , at least like she was going to be okay. Eggsy dug out his phone, punching in the numbers for the phone inside the flat with numb fingers. The police and Michelle didn't move back towards the flat - possibly they didn't even hear the phone - and on the third ring, the answering machine picked up.

"Um... h-hi mum. I... I'm really sorry I didn't help, honest, but- ... I'm ok, Dean didn't hit me. You don't need to worry about me, I'm freaked out but I'm stayin' with a friend and I'm ok. You just... focus on feelin' better and I'll give you a call back in a bit, alright? I'll talk to you soon. Love you."

Harry squeezed the boy's shoulder when he was done. "That was good, very good. Now, let me see your phone and I'll call the station and let them know you're okay. They'll be able to tell your mother as well I should think." 

Eggsy handed Harry the phone with a sniff. Harry thought Eggsy looked a little relieved not to have to be the one to talk to the police. After a quick search through the Kingsman database on his own phone, Harry dialled the local station on Eggsy's. It rang only once before an operator picked up. 

"Yes, hello," Harry downplayed his accent a little. "I'm calling to leave a message for Michelle Unwin, I think she's headed there. The police were over at her flat just now. If you could let her or the officers involved know that her son is safe and staying with a friend right now, I'd very much appreciate it. You can call his mobile if you need to get in touch with him. Yes, this number." Harry shot a small smile toward Eggsy. "Yes, very good. Thank you." He ended the call and handed the phone back. 

Eggsy stuck it in his hoodie pocket. He was no longer looking out the front windshield, just staring at Harry with a lost expression on his youthful features. "C-can... we go? To your house? I don't want to be here anymore. I just, I want to go." Remaining near home would just remind Eggsy of everything that had transpired. He needed comfort and security, but of a sort not tied into the shock he'd just endured. That put the coffee shop down the street out of the question, but not Harry's home. Not where he'd gone for comfort and consolation before.

Harry nodded. "Of course." 

They pulled away from the kerb and Harry took them back down to Kensington in silence. Eggsy's gaze fell to the floor or the window, but he looked more absorbed in the thoughts in his head than the scenery outside. Respectfully, Harry left him to it. They arrived in front of Harry's home not long after. Harry put his arm around the boy and let Eggsy lean into him as he unlocked the door and stepped inside to find everything as he'd left it, lights still on, takeaway still at the counter top. 

Eggsy hadn't lost the dazed air around him, but his shoulders lowered a fraction as soon as they were inside. The dimmed lighting was exactly the same. The rich colors of the house were soothing, and after a second there was a clicking of nails on hardwood and Mr. Pickle rounded the corner and raced towards them both. Eggsy was already down on his knees by the time the dog reached them, and the boy scooped him up into his arms. Mr. Pickle was delighted for a bit of attention, and Eggsy was just happy to have something to hold onto.

"Have you eaten already?" Harry asked and when Eggsy nodded, put the takeaway containers in the refrigerator. "Let's settle in then, shall we? I expect we'll be getting a call before the night is through." He put a hand to Eggsy's back and led him into the living room. 

This time when Harry sat down on the sofa, he didn't leave much room for Eggsy. Instead, he pulled the boy, Mr. Pickle and all, down beside him so that Harry could wrap an arm around him. He had crane his neck for a moment to avoid Mr. Pickle's tongue before the dog settled down, but after that it was comfortable. 

Eggsy was shivering, even with the warmth. It wasn't a matter of cold. Mr. Pickle stayed relatively still and well behaved in the boy's arms, but none of the boy's stroking was cheering him up, despite the hilarious way Mr. Pickle arched into the scratches. Eggsy's eyes stayed downcast on the dog on his lap. After a few minutes, the boy mumbled, coughed, and then tried speaking again. "...don't s'pose you've got any ice cream? Maybe?"

"I think I might, actually." Harry ran his fingers gently through the boy's hair before he reluctantly let Eggsy go. "We can put a film on if you like. Something to keep your mind off everything for a while." Harry went into the kitchen to fetch a pair of bowls and ice cream. It was very likely they'd be interrupted by Michelle, and very likely she would be back home at the flat before long. Hard to say where Dean would end up for the night, whether he would be charged or she would intervene. Harry was ready to play that by ear, but he would keep Eggsy as long as he could. Even if tomorrow was a school day. 

Eggsy was still waiting on the sofa when Harry returned with two bowls in hand. Mr. Pickle had to be persuaded to leave the boy's lap, but then Eggsy stood and accepted his half of the ice cream. "Movie sounds good. Maybe... another Bond movie? Somethin' with a lot of action." Something so fantastical and quick moving that Eggsy wouldn't have time to think about his fears or what had happened. "I don't care how late it goes. Don't wanna go to school tomorrow. They can write me up if they want to. Gonna start the weekend early."

"Sounds good to me," Harry laughed softly, but went to the cabinet to find a movie Eggsy would enjoy. Whether Eggsy's plans for the weekend panned out depended greatly on Michelle, but Harry didn't feel like ruining the boy's hopes either. Once the movie was started, he returned to the sofa and settled in next to the boy. "You can stay here as long as you like, just so you know." Harry laid a hand over Eggsy's knee before he reached for his bowl of ice cream. 

Eggsy went quiet. His attention was on Harry's hand, rather than on the telly screen that was rolling the opening credits. "I've been... kinda thinkin' about that, actually. Not like this, but... whether mum is going to get mad about us being friends, 'cause of you knowing my dad and all. She's gonna ask me where I went, and the police are prob'ly gonna ask our neighbors if I'm there. Or she'll try to thank them, later, if I say I just went to my mates'."

Harry licked his lips and set down his bowl. He took his time and knew he looked a little lost for words, but he turned down the volume on the telly and gave Eggsy his attention. "I'm sorry to say it, but she will, definitely, be upset if she sees me again. That is not to say, however, that we can avoid it forever. I fully expect to have to face that someday." Harry gave the boy a tired smile. "Eggsy, if you would feel more comfortable with her knowing sooner rather than later, that's fine by me. However, we will have to deal with the consequences when that happens. She might be rather spectacularly upset, but...on the whole I don't think she can deny my intentions in befriending you have been nothing but sincere." 

"I'm just really scared she won't let us visit anymore. Or that she'll take my phone away, if she thinks I've been calling you. I don't want that to happen." Eggsy lifted another bite of ice cream to his mouth, but he didn't seem to really be tasting it. Not like the previous evenings together when they'd indulged in the treat. "I don't know what I could do, though. If she decides to ground me and take the phone away. I think she'll figure out I've been climbing out the window after tonight, and I just... I don't know."

Eggsy turned to look at Harry more directly, worry weighing heavily on him. "I don't really want her upset, but I don't like lying to her either, and I don't think it'll matter if I do. She's gonna wonder where I went, and when she finds out, she's gonna want to know how long we've been friends, all of it."

"Well," Harry raised his brows and considered carefully. "We have two options here. We tell her tonight where you were and how we met. Or we create an alibi. One of your friends who's willing to say you spent the night with them and an older sibling perhaps. We'll still have to tell your mother eventually, but she might not have such a bad reaction when things have settled down. I fear I have to leave this up to you, Eggsy. This is a decision only you can make, but whatever you decide, I'll go along with it." 

Eggsy squirmed. Neither option sounded comfortable. "I really don't want to have to tell her at _all_. 's not her business to say who my friends are. I think she'll be less mad, though, if I don't... lie to her, 'cause she'll find out later and then she'll get _extra_ mad. Like, she'll be mad either way, but maybe she'll trust me more if I... tell her, instead of her finding out I tricked her? 'Cause if she finds out I lied, she's gonna be going through my room even more and wonderin' what else I've lied about, or wondering why I lied."

"Alright then." Harry nodded solemnly. He had hoped this would last just a little bit longer, but they were well enough along now that it didn't necessarily need to. Right now, more than anything, Eggsy had to trust and want to keep Harry. Harry took the boy in his arms, knowing what the reassurance would mean to Eggsy and not wanting to resist the chance to take it himself. "When she gets home and I drop you off, I'll come up this time to tell her. We'll have to...break the news somewhat gently, I think, but after tonight, it'll all be out in the open."

Eggsy squirmed in Harry's grasp, but only to set his emptied bowl on the nearby table. Once his hands were free, he returned the hug. More than that, he stayed that way, settling against Harry's shoulder while they turned to watch the movie. Things were still uncertain and scary for the boy, but he trusted Harry. He trusted him to say the right things when they told Michelle about their friendship, and trusted Harry with himself. Tension bled out of Eggsy the longer he remained in Harry's arms.

That is, until his phone began ringing.

Harry sighed and reached to pause the movie. "That'll be your mum, I expect." Eggsy had to right himself to pull the phone out of his pocket, and Harry keenly felt the loss of such perfect contact. 

Just as they'd expected, Michelle's voice sounded on the other end as soon as Eggsy picked up the call.  
"Eggsy, honey?" She sounded exhausted. Wrung out emotionally as well as physically if Eggsy had to say. "I'm so sorry. They told me you were with a friend. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm not hurt or nothin'." The distress promptly returned to Eggsy's voice, wrested out of him just by thinking about what had happened and hearing his mother's voice. "I... I was just so scared, I went and hid in my room, and got out as soon as I could, but I'm ok now. Are you? I mean... are you ok? I know you got hit, but not how bad, I was in my room and didn't see..."

"No I'm fine." Michelle took a breath, calming her own nerves. "Nothin' to worry about. Checked out by the doctor and everything." Eggsy could tell she was trying to make her tone lighter. "Look, I'll be home in a couple'a minutes. They're giving me a ride back. You think you could meet me there, yeah? Dean's not comin' back tonight. I'm not pressing charges, but he won't be comin' back for a while." She probably meant for that to sound reassuring, confident, but mostly she just sounded shaken. 

"Ummm..." Eggsy turned to face Harry, looking more than a bit put on the spot. He didn't want to leave, and even if they got in Harry's car right that minute, it was going to take more than a handful of minutes to get back to Rowley Way. "It'd take me more'n a few minutes, I didn't just go next door. Doesn't... he have keys, though? Are you sure he's not comin' back? I... don't really ever wanna see him again, not after he hit you like that. I thought he was gonna hit me, too."

"He ain't coming back tonight. I promise, ok? An' we'll figure out keys an' everything later. You'll be safe here. I don't want you imposing on your friends, and...I'd just feel better if you were home, yeah? I'm just really stressed out right now." She sighed. "Look, I've got to hang up now, but I want you to get a ride back as soon as you can. I'll pay your friends for the drive if they need it." Eggsy knew that was a bit of a stretch. She might scrounge for a few notes, but considering that she and Dean had been arguing over missing money again before he blew up, she had to be pretty desperate.

Eggsy paused, then slowly lowered the phone. Michelle had already hung up. She was expecting him to come back as soon as he could, which meant that things were now on Harry and himself.

"She wants me back home. Like, _now_." Eggsy shot Harry a panicked look. He'd thought they'd have a bit more time. "What are we gonna do? She didn't even promise Dean is _gone_. She just said 'not for a while'. Don't that mean he's gonna come back sometime?"

Harry frowned. "That sounds like she's still unsure where things stand now." When Eggsy didn't look any more relieved at that, Harry put his hand on the boy's back. "It might mean the next time he's back will be when he drops of his keys. Or it might mean she hasn't decided yet. You won't have to worry about him tonight; he'll be spending the night with the Met I'm sure." Harry sighed. "But no, I don't like the thought of you going back there to find he's returned tomorrow or the day after either." Sorrow filled the small boy's face and Harry didn't resist the urge to run his hand over the back of Eggsy's neck, massaging through his feathery light hair. "Are you still sure you want to confront her tonight?"

"I'd rather stay here, but it's gonna be worse if I don't go back, and she's gonna wanna _know_." Eggsy drew closer again and buried his face against Harry's chest. His voice, when it came, was muffled by his shirt. "And if I lie, it'll be worse when we _do_ tell her. I just... I wish I didn't have to go back. I want to make sure she's ok, but I don't want to go home, and I don't want to go to school."

Harry sighed and wrapped his arms loosely around the boy. "I would keep you here if I could," he admitted, and meant it. 

Eggsy was braver than he gave himself credit for. More determined, too. Most children his age would have conceded to whatever Harry thought was best, but Harry couldn't help appreciating that. 

"Alright then." Harry gave a tired sigh after a minute passed with neither of them willing to move. "If needs must. Off to battle we go." He offered the boy a tight lipped smile when Eggsy looked up at him.  
"Please say you won't leave. Even if my mum says I'm not supposed to talk to you anymore." Eggsy cast Harry a worried look, overlooking his smile. "She's told me not to be friends with people before, but I don't listen. I get to be mates with who I want, and I want us to be mates. Even if she throws a fit about it. Alright? Promise me?" The boy's hand caught on Harry's wrist.

Harry couldn't let himself smile, but how he _wanted_ to. He met the boy's eyes and took in the seriousness that lay beneath, Eggsy's absolute determination that he would not let this go. Harry let it wash over him until he could speak again. "I. Alright," Harry let out a short breath, finally offering Eggsy a hint of the smile he truly wanted to give the boy. "You have my word." 

Finally, the tension in the boy's frame relaxed a little. Harry pulled him into a one armed hug.  
"No matter how this goes, you won't lose me. You can call on me any time and I'll answer, especially if you need me." Harry didn't want to let the boy go, not when he felt this good against Harry's side, not when they'd been pressed together moments before, but Eggsy's instincts were right--they had to do this. 

Eggsy nodded. He didn't look thrilled about this either, but he knew his mother; defiance in this case, hiding and lying, would only make things more difficult later. Michelle was going to be angry now, but might soon get over it. If she found out later, she'd be enraged, and she might forbid Eggsy from talking to Harry again.

Not that that was going to stop the boy. Eggsy had already determined that he was going to do whatever he wanted, regardless of what Michelle thought. But it would make things so much more difficult to do so with Michelle watching him like a hawk and stripping away his phone.

Harry finally stood, and Eggsy followed his lead back out to the car. There was little left to be said. The movie would have to be finished another night, and the movie wasn't what Eggsy was concerned about.

The drive back was silent. Only when they were parked in front of the estates did Harry reach over and squeeze Eggsy's hand with a reassuring smile. One that he knew didn't touch his eyes. Harry knew how this was going to go. 

Still, he walked Eggsy up the darkened path, interspersed with lamps droning with electricity, the only sound at this time of night. Harry knew the way well, but he let Eggsy take a step ahead to lead. He kept a hand at the boy's shoulder still, knowing Eggsy would appreciate it and enjoyed one last moment to take pride in that. 

Eggsy was nervous. Harry could see it in the set of his face, _feel_ it in the tension in his shoulders. Eggsy already knew this was going to go badly, just not to what degree. One hand reached out to catch hold of Harry's jacket, creasing it in the process. Harry didn't mind. It was just another sign that Eggsy had come to trust and depend on him.

When they reached the door to the flat, it was locked. Eggsy ended up knocking, not having a key to get in by himself.

They heard the patter of footsteps inside before Michelle opened the door, clad in her pajamas and a dressing robe, her hair a mess falling about her shoulders. 

"Oh, Eggsy." Her face lit up with relief for a split second before she looked up and saw Harry. 

Michelle froze. Her mouth caught in the middle of forming a word that never came. She stood stooped in the act of ushering her son inside. 

Harry put one hand behind his back, the other still resting heavy on Eggsy's shoulder, and offered her a tight smile. "Mrs. Unwin." 

That at least broke her reverie. Her eyes moved from Harry to her son before her mouth formed one word. "What?" 

"Don't freak out, ok? He's a friend." Eggsy was wide eyed and imploring. "I know you don't like him, 'cause of dad. He told me. Well, later. We didn't know he knew dad when-... um." Eggsy fidgeted, finally crossing his arms since he didn't know what to do with his hands. "We ran into each other by accident, y'see. 'cause he knew another veteran in the area, and I caught his dog. But, um... yeah. Just don't freak out, alright?"

Michelle's mouth fell open and finally her eyes narrowed at the two of them. She looked like she was about to say something and that was enough of that, Harry decided. "May I come in?" 

" _What_ is going on?" She found her voice again as some of the shock began to wear off. She took hold of Eggsy's arm and pulled. " _Eggsy_ , inside _now_. And _you_ \--Who the _bloody fuckin' hell_ are you?" 

"You'll remember I told you to call if you ever needed help," Harry cut in just as quickly, raising his brows and fixing her a kind of openness that came from years of practice. "Your son did it for you. Now Mrs. Unwin, may I come in?" 

Michelle looked a little taken aback by that. The next accusation died on her tongue and she stared at Harry, trying to reconcile how he could possibly be on her doorstep again. Yet she did remember his offer that day, and it left her at a loss for words. It was only after a very tense, very long moment of consideration that Michelle drew back the door and Harry stepped inside.

Eggsy was already tense and resentful. He understood that his mother was upset, and a bit about why - Harry was tied to his father's service and death, after all - but he didn't feel any better about the fact that Michelle had immediately demanded obedience and separated him from Harry like Harry was some sort of _danger_. "Mum, look, it's _okay_." His friend moved to one side of the den, and Eggsy felt caught between the two of them.

" _Alright,_ Eggsy. Look," Michelle put a hand to her forehead, making no move to sit, or to offer tea, or to send Eggsy to his room, or do anything else that might indicate she was ready to have a conversation for that matter. "Can you just tell me what's going on?" 

"Certainly," Harry nodded. His genial approach was only marginally calming her, but Harry had only that to rely on. "A few weeks ago, on the way to visit a friend not far from here, I ran into your son. I didn't realize it at the time, but found out not long after, that he was Lee's boy and...considering where we left off the last time, I felt it was only fair that I introduced myself properly. I reassured him that his father had been a brave man and reiterated my offer of assistance should he ever need it, and here we are." 

Michelle's brows only knit further as she stared at Harry. Suspicion plainly warred with Harry's words across her features as she tried to see through him.

Harry dropped his head in deference to her judgement. "I know you don't know me, but I considered Lee a friend, and after getting to know Eggsy a little, I would consider him just as worthy of that friendship, so you must understand why I came when he asked for help." 

Finally, Michelle's mouth closed. She didn't look like she knew what to say to that. Harry had taken her completely off guard. "Well...," Michelle began slowly, "thank you for picking him up, and bringing him home. But...I think that's enough. We're okay now, and I'm sure Eggsy won't need to call again."

" _Mum_." Eggsy sounded scandalized. He wilted briefly when she turned to give him a look, but that lasted all of a few seconds. Hurt sparked in his eyes and grew, filling the boy up and straightening his spine into a defiant line. "No. You don't get to say who my mates are, or... I'm not a _thing_ , ok? Don't... don't talk for me and make decisions for me and tell me how it's gonna be, 'cause it _ain't_."

Eggsy wavered a little; he couldn't help but be affected by Michelle's opinions and moods, but he didn't back down. "You don't like my mates, you don't like the-... the stuff I like, how I am, it don't matter what I think of Dean or anybody else... but what you think is all that matters. That's not fair."

" _Eggsy!_ " Michelle looked nearly as startled as she did reproachful. She had obviously not expected her son to have such a bad reaction, and, Harry thought, would probably soon attribute it to their earlier fight. "I am not arguing with you about this now. We can talk about your friends later and if you can't use your indoor voice then you're going to your room." If anything, Eggsy looked even more furious and Michelle still didn't understand what was going on, nor would she when this whole thing was through. 

Harry stood patiently by and waited for her attention again. It didn't take long. 

" _Thank you_ , Mr. Hart, was it?" Michelle stood, seeing Eggsy even more upset, and all Harry could do was give her a tight nod, "but you'll have to forgive me; I really don't want to see you again. And I don't want you seeing Eggsy again either." 

"Mrs. Unwin, I mean no disrespect," Harry took a careful step forward, knowing what was coming. 

" _Please_. Just, _go_ ," Michelle cut in sharply, her whole body going tense. Too much stress in one night. Too many bad memories on top of new ones. 

Eggsy looked heartbroken, every inch the nine year old as his emotions and insecurity overwhelmed his attempt at brave defiance. His eyes begged Harry not to go, and he was already regretting his decision to tell Michelle. And to come home, point in fact, but saying that wouldn't make his mother change her attitude. He was afraid, like all children, of the power their parents' wielded, able to dictate the majority of their lives without taking into account how their children felt about anything. "I don't want him to go."

Michelle couldn't focus on Eggsy while Harry was still there in front of her, and he couldn't for exactly the same reason. He let his eyes drift to the boy for one brief moment, catching Eggsy's clear, watery ones before refocusing on his mother. 

Harry straightened and took a short breath before he fixed her with another nod. "Very well then," he conceded. Harry offered her a small smile. He kept it in check, not allowing it to widen just a bit farther than was appropriate, and stepped back toward the door. "Eggsy," he nodded to the boy in farewell, and then to his mother. "Michelle."

Eggsy watched Harry leave. He felt completely frozen in place, helpless to stop it from happening, and soon enough Harry's figure disappeared as the door closed behind him. Eggsy blinked, then turned hurt eyes on Michelle.

It hurt no less to see what had happened to his mother. One eye was purpled and puffy, her lower lip was split, and circular bruises dotted one forearm as a reminder of a particularly cruel grip. Eggsy felt a pang of concern and guilt, but not enough to outweigh his own deep distress. "Why'd you do that? He's been nothin' but nice and helpful to me, even 'fore he knew who I was."

"Eggsy..." Michelle crumbled. She sank into a chair at the kitchen table and her voice held none of the hardness it had while Harry was in the room. "That man told me your father died. Him and the people he worked for.... An' then he comes here with you in tow, like everything's fine, like he's gonna...." She grew more visibly upset as she spoke, like she was only sorting out her feelings as they left her mouth. "...come an' _save the day_ or some shit like that." And now she looked teary as well. "Eggsy, that man wouldn't tell me a damn _thing_ about what happened to your father, an' I just...can't....deal with the thought of him havin' anything to do with my family. Do you understand?"

" _No_. No, I _don't_ understand." Eggsy refused to sit. He stood at a discreet distance, ready to dash off to his room at any moment should the conversation turn more painful. Right now, his mother was someone he barely recognized - battered, angry, afraid, wearing old grudges on her sleeve. "He told me he couldn't tell me neither, but it wasn't 'cause he was mean. It's some...government secret thing. Like dad was some special agent or on a secret mission or something. Y'don't even know that it's his fault dad died!"

Michelle looked like she'd been slapped. Her mouth hung open in silence. "And that's supposed to mean I should want his help? That I _don't know_ if my husband died because of him? I don't want to have _anything to do with him_ Eggsy, and I _wish_ Lee hadn't either." She put a hand over her face and breathed. Eggsy could hear how close she was to tears again, her breath shuddering as she tried to calm. 

Eggsy lost his temper and his composure. He'd never wanted to yell at his mother before, except that it was all so _unfair_. "His help ain't for you! He's... he's helped a lot, with food and-... He gave me somewhere warm to wait for you t'get back, instead of just waitin' out on the street! Told me it was gonna be ok. For other thing's too. He didn't think there was nothin' wrong with me."

All at once, Eggsy's guilt seemed stupid. His mother didn't care. She didn't care what Harry was to him, she didn't care about his possessions, and she didn't care about how he felt about Dean. "I shoulda stayed there," Eggsy said, voice bitter. "Shoulda just said I didn't wanna go home." With that, Eggsy turned on his heel and stomped off to his room.

Eggsy didn't see the look that crossed over Michelle's face. In his upset state, he didn't realize that was exactly the wrong thing to say to her, nor did he care. He didn't know whether she would wonder now just how often Eggsy had talked to Harry, or what about. The only thing he heard was the door to her bedroom slam shut moments behind his own and he knew that she would not come out until morning. 

Eggsy was reduced to crying himself to sleep, or some measure of it. A half-formulated plan popped into his mind in his state of distress. He didn't want to go to school the following day, or deal with his mother either. Not the guilt, and not the accusations and discomfort.

He set his alarm for early in the morning. Early enough that he was able to get up, pack a few pieces of food in his backpack, and sneak out of the flat before Michelle was even up. 

He left the flat in the gloom of early morning, chilled by the pre-dawn air and wanting anything but a Friday at school and more confrontation with his mother.

* * *

Far and across the English countryside, Harry watched from the monitor atop his desk as the little figure of Eggsy Unwin turned the corner of Rowley Way. His fingers stilled over the keyboard as his attention fixed on the boy before he moved back to his assessment of a suspected Russian operative who'd taken up residence under a false alias in the West End. Harry had reviewed Eggsy's fight with Michelle the night prior, and he had to say that he was not at all surprised to see the boy skipping school now. Not when he'd decided to do as much even before he'd spoken to his mother. Harry waited and worked, but he kept an electric eye following the boy all the same. 

Pickpocketing someone without drawing suspicion was more difficult when Eggsy was so young, but he managed it. While pretending to be taking public transport to his school, clever fingers dipped inside strangers' pockets and produced a few quid. Eggsy munched on a cheap granola bar from his backpack, counting his money and looking at the map of the London underground. After a bit, he dug his cell phone out of his pocket and rang Harry's number.

Harry stood and closed the door to his office before he picked up the call. Not that he thought for a minute that it would stop Merlin, but a closed door in the knights' hall was a well-respected signal to anyone passing. Harry found the boy on one of the train car cameras before he finally lifted the phone to his ear. 

"Hello, Eggsy?"

"Hey, um. Harry? Are you at work?" Most people worked on Fridays but Eggsy wasn't certain that Harry was like _most people_. Eggsy fidgeted, playing with his hoodie strings and trying not to think too much about what he was doing. "I just... can I stop by? I just weren't sure where you are, and I didn't want to make a trip just to see everything's closed up and you ain't there."

"Escaped your mother's clutches after all, hm?" Harry chided softly. "Can you make it to the shop? You sound like you're on the tube if I'm not mistaken. I'll be there. I can step out and you can tell me how things went." 

Harry saved his report and checked Eggsy's location before he messaged Merlin that he would be out. He received a clipped response back that Harry was sure he could hear in the man's irritated burr. Probably more irritated for being interrupted than Harry leaving before their 2pm meeting. 

"Yeah, kinda. I guess I'll tell you when I get there. And yeah, I'm on the tube, so... I guess I'll see you in a bit, then?" Eggsy was about to say more, but his service cut out. The boy frowned at his phone and the weak signal indication on the display, shrugged, and got a ticket from his ill-gotten cash. No one looked twice when he got on. School children weren't an unusual sight at that time of the morning, even ones who were unaccompanied, and Eggsy had his backpack on him. After counting the stops to the one he needed, he got off at Piccadilly Circus and started his walk up out to the street.

Savile Row was barely a ten minute walk away, but much busier on a weekday morning than it had been the time he and Harry visited. Eggsy spotted the shop halfway down the street. Although the store front looked just as welcoming with its soft lighting and fitted models on display, it was a little more intimidating without Harry there by his side to part the crowds of determined looking and well-dressed men and women on their way to work. 

A couple went in ahead of him, chatting idly to one another and ignoring Eggsy's presence entirely.

Eggsy swallowed and steeled himself. He didn't think Harry would berate him and sent him back home, but... adults were funny like that. Harry might decide to do something boring despite the fact that they were supposed to be friends, even if he'd not done anything like that yet.

The pair that had entered the shop ahead of him didn't even look around when Eggsy pushed through the door and a bell rang. Everything was just as he'd remembered from the previous day, except for Harry's presence at his side. Eggsy looked at the clerk currently helping the couple at the reception desk, but the man had no attention for a small, ill-dressed boy.

All Eggsy could do was wait, however. He didn't see Harry and there was no one else in the shop to help. 

He was inspecting a row of silk ties on one of the nearby shelves, keeping within eyesight of the clerk just in case the man didn't recognise him and thought he was up to something, when a door to what must have been a back room opened and Harry stepped through. Across the whole shop his gaze landed right on Eggsy and Harry didn't pause longer than that before he went to the boy. 

Harry was...as well dressed as Eggsy had ever seen him. In a dark, three piece suit tapered around his waist and just light enough to flutter when he moved and just heavy enough to keep its shape, Harry looked like something straight out of a magazine. Glasses in place, hair perfectly arranged, golden cuff links and tie bar polished and glinting off the indoor spotlights, Harry looked the absolute professional.  
Still, his face warmed visibly. "Eggsy. It's good to see you."

Eggsy took a second for his mind to catch up and render his tongue capable of speech again. Much to his embarrassment, just having Harry walk towards him so bedecked was enough for the boy's body to take interest and cause him to very temporarily forget his troubles. "It's... um, it's good to see you too, Harry. Sorry it's early and at work and all. I just..."

Suddenly aware of the clerk's presence, Eggsy's gaze went sideways towards where Dagonet was helping the earlier couple. "Can we not talk here?"

Harry followed his gaze. "We can go somewhere else. I'm afraid we're going to have a time of avoiding people at this hour though...perhaps the cafe down the street. We should miss the morning rush." 

Harry put his hand to the boy's shoulder and Eggsy still looked caught between awe and his somewhat gloomy disposition. Dagonet took no notice of them as they left the store. 

"So I take it the situation didn't improve after I left last night?" Harry asked as they walked. He wasn't inclined to wait and let the silence build any more tension between them than necessary. 

"No. Mum doesn't want me to see or talk to you again." Harry's hand left his shoulder and Eggsy felt the loss. He glanced sideways, but he didn't dare try to take his hand. "She said it so weird, too. Like, she wasn't asking me. She was telling me what was gonna happen, and she didn't care what I thought about it. Like, she gets upset thinking about you, so I'm not allowed to be friends with you, but my feeling's about Dean don't matter."

Harry sighed. "To be honest, Eggsy, I'm not surprised. She might act differently when she doesn't like the friends you've made in the neighbourhood, kids your own age, ones she doesn't otherwise take issue with besides their penchant for low riding trousers and sneaking smokes when their parents aren't looking. She takes a very...personal issue with me, and I don't think that's going to change." Their eyes caught for a second, and Eggsy didn't look at all heartened at Harry's words. 

They reached the shop, however, and Harry pulled back the door to let Eggsy in ahead of him. 

It was still too early for the rush to have really impacted the cafe. A few people were in line for coffee, but plenty of empty seats graced the floor space. Eggsy looked around, uncertain that they were supposed to continue the conversation when strangers could overhear. Everything felt too personal for that.  
They waited in line, Eggsy standing close to Harry but not daring to touch, as odd a contrast as they could make. When they reached the cashier, Eggsy ordered a cinnamon roll and hot chocolate, and Harry dutifully paid for it along with his own selection. A few minutes later they were seated in a nook that granted a little more privacy. "That's stupid, though. You didn't decide to kill my dad, or nothin', and it ain't your fault you can't say what happened."

Harry considered Eggsy over the lid of his coffee before he took a sip. "You're very forgiving," he mused fondly. "You've also gotten to know me a little better than she has. And under different circumstances. I may not have held a gun to Lee's head, but Michelle holds me responsible all the same. She has no one else to blame." Eggsy still didn't look convinced. "You were wary of me as well, remember? Merely on account of being in the wrong neighbourhood, as it were." 

The door chimed and a group of customers left as new ones entered, their voices murmuring in a pleasant din, just enough to obfuscate Harry and Eggsy's quiet conversation. 

"Yeah, well." Eggsy was suddenly on the defensive. It seemed silly, now, how wary he'd been, but before he'd known Harry, he'd not known what to think or expect. Just what people around him had said. "It seemed... weird, y'know? You hear stuff, about posh blokes, and women too. Nobody cares about kids, least of all kids like me. They say it, but they don't mean it, or things'd be different."

Nobody came close enough to eavesdrop on them, but Eggsy took a moment to lick whipped cream from the top of his cup and think. "I didn't think someone like you could find someone like me interesting enough to wanna be friends, so I just... didn't know what to think, other'n you might be dangerous."

"Ah." Harry raised a brow, but remained otherwise outwardly unaffected. "The thing is, your mother feels much the same way only in a slightly more complicated context. She doesn't know me, nor my history in the military, and I can't tell her. All she knows is that a man far more privileged than she came to deliver the news of her husband's death, and she greatly--and fairly, mind you--resents that." Harry frowned over his cup before he set it down again. "I can't blame her for that, Eggsy."

"But she shouldn't get to decide everything for me!" Eggsy understood a bit why his mother might not like Harry, but not what made her decide to try to enforce that dislike over his head. "Like, I dunno what's got into her lately, but it's not _fair_. First she's throwing out _my_ stuff because she doesn't like it and don't think I should have it. Then she's... telling me she thinks I'm gonna change, later, which really just means she don't like how I am and wants me to be different. She's tried saying which friends she didn't like me havin', before, but now she thinks she can just _make_ me not talk to you or see you again."

Harry hummed and pressed his lips tight together, a frown to hide a smile. He took another sip of coffee as if deliberating. "I'd like to do my best to respect her wishes in regards to herself. I won't attempt to contact her again. However, as you pointed out, so long as you wish to continue this friendship, I don't think I can respect her wishes regarding you. You've made it quite clear you don't agree with her on that matter, and I think that's your choice to make." Harry offered the boy a small smile. Eggsy's sheer focus gave him the posture of an adult, leaning forward with his elbows on the table and making himself look bigger, determined, confident, even though he was barely tall enough.

"I don't know what I can do to _stop_ her, though." Eggsy's mouth turned down at the corners just thinking about it. Harry would have no problem not coming to the flat, but that wasn't where the bulk of the problem was. "I mean, I can lie about where I'm going and all that, but my mum's not stupid. I think she's gonna figure out where I'm going. I think she knows about the window, too, since I got out when Dean was going nuts but she didn't see me leave. I don't think she's guessed about the phone, but I dunno."

Harry sighed heavily. "The simple truth of the matter, Eggsy, is that you can't stop her. She will continue to feel this way and there is very little you or I can do to change that. And yes, I think she will have discovered your little escape route out the window, although since you don't receive a monthly bill for that phone, I do not think she will become aware that you've increased your minutes unless she overhears you using it." Harry rubbed at his temple and looked into the boy's eyes. They were catching the dawning sunlight now, refractions of green and blue on this rare, clear morning. "I'm not sure there is a way to be above-board about it. I'd like to be. Unless you think she could be swayed in time.... I'm just...not so sure about that."

"I thought she'd be ok after we explained things yesterday, but I don't know now. She didn't even want to listen." Eggsy leaned against one palm. The motion only drew more attention to his face and just how soft his skin looked. Everything about the boy was expressive and open; he hadn't yet experienced the betrayals and pain of life that caused adults to guard themselves with friends as well as strangers. "I don't like lying to her, but I'm not gonna let her just tell me I can't see or talk to you again. I don't care if she finds out and grounds me."

Harry gave a small chuckle. "At least she can't ground _me._ " He set his coffee aside. "You may not be able to visit quite so often as before, but I think we'll be alright for a time, so long as you continue seeing your other friends as usual." Harry didn't plan on needing any longer than that to progress to the next stage in their relationship, although Eggsy didn't know it. Harry had to invoke just the right amount of dismay and just the right amount of optimism for the boy to believe it, but soon this part would be over and Harry would be glad of it. "You'll still be welcome in my home, however often that may be possible."

"I'm gonna miss not coming over," Eggsy admitted. He stared down into his mug, but answers weren't forthcoming from the remnants of his hot chocolate. "I'm not even sure if I'm gonna get in trouble for today. I skipped school, and most of the time the teachers don't really notice, but... Mum might guess I skived off to come see you."

When Eggsy looked back up, worry still filled his eyes, but a hint of a smile touched his mouth. "Worth it, though. Just as long as she don't take my phone away, but I don't think she knows enough about that to do it."

Harry had the decency to look somewhat abashed. "Yes, well....unless you spoke at greater length about our interactions last night, I'm not sure I detailed our meeting well enough for her to realize you've actually been to my house. Or how often we've been meeting, for that matter. She probably thinks it wasn't more than a couple conversations on the estate grounds or some other place nearby." It was very possible Michelle might ask Eggsy about it later, if he started talking about Harry, trying to get her to come around by showing her just how much Harry had done for him. But right now, Harry had to make the boy understand that that was a bad idea. 

Eggsy shook his head. "I didn't, but... I guess she might think I skipped with mates to go do something. I just can't afford much, so she's gonna assume I didn't go very far." Most of the boy's cinnamon roll was gone by that point; Eggsy licked the tips of his fingers to pick up the remaining crumbs. "I guess I could just tell her I walked to one of the parks to hang around. I don't really want to tell her stuff if she's just gonna be mad about it and tell me not to do it anymore."

"I can't fault you for that," Harry offered quietly. He paused, using the moment to drain the last of his cup before turning back to Eggsy. "I wouldn't normally advise you to disregard your mother's wishes and go out behind her back, but...I do think you are in need of a friend. We flourish by the strength of our community. And if that's not something you get from your peers, then I am happy to be there for you." Harry gave the boy a little smile and a nudge under the table. "Although I have to admit, I do simply enjoy your company as well and I do not want that to end. Don't think me entirely selfless."

Eggsy flushed, immensely pleased at Harry's admission and the smile he'd gotten. "Cheers. I dunno why, though. I mean, we've talked a bit about it before, but we're really different. It's kinda nice, though? I don't know if I'd have talked to you if you were dressed all fancy the first time we met, but I'm glad I did." Signs of class differences, thankfully, no longer affected Eggsy so long as it was with Harry. Frequent visits had slowly made the boy more comfortable and less self-conscious. The boy no longer feared mockery and, if the video feeds were anything to go by, Eggsy had begun acquiring a taste for some of it. The careful theft and hiding of a GQ magazine, and the subsequent bedtime fantasizing, were a good sign that things were progressing as planned.

"Oh? Am I not up to your standards?" Harry teased and again nudged Eggsy under the table. The boy couldn't stop smiling. Harry found he could get a positive reaction out of Eggsy if he took the boy's compliments that way. "But in all seriousness, Eggsy, I'm glad you did, too." It was a small moment of peace, one Harry knew would precede a storm, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it. 

"What do you suppose you'll be up to for the rest of the day now?" Harry asked. "Would you perhaps have any interest in seeing a play this afternoon? I have a feeling I'll be called in to work this weekend, but I should be able to take the rest of the day off without incident." 

"Um..." Eggsy hesitated. Spending time with Harry was tempting, but he had no idea what plays were like. The boy's imagination cooked up something pretentious, full of people lounging in velvet seats and judging everything through opera glasses. On the other hand, Harry never seemed to suggest anything that Eggsy didn't end up liking. "Maybe? I've never been to a play. Mum has a couple of tapes of old musicals that she's rented, so I've seen stuff like My Fair Lady, but I've never gone to a proper theater. Is it good?"

"Quite good," Harry replied with a hint of amusement. "I don't suppose you've seen any Shakespeare?" He could almost hear the 'Are you serious?' behind Eggsy's look, so Harry headed it off before the boy could speak. "Not Romeo and Juliet. This is a modern version. A comedy. Twelfth Night. It's playing at a theatre not far from here and I think you might be surprised." 

"But isn't that written in... gibberish, or somethin'? Will I even be able to understand what they're saying?" Eggsy was still skeptical, but one point worked in Harry's favor: even if Eggsy decided he didn't like the play, he'd still be sitting in a dark room with Harry. Harry might even be paying more attention to the stage than his surroundings, and Eggsy was tempted by anything that let him spend more time with his friend and less time worrying about his future. "I mean, I guess we can try it. I just don't know if I'll be able to follow what's going on."

Harry laughed. "You'll be able to follow, don't worry. And it's not _gibberish_ ; it's poetry! _Old_ poetry." The boy was grinning back at him now, lopsided and with a hint of cockiness that Harry frankly loved. That look tempted Harry to reach across the table and tug Eggsy over to him, to fold the boy in his arms and set him atop Harry's lap. "You'll see." Harry restrained the heat in his own gaze. Somewhat.  
They spent the next several hours perusing the shops along the walk, talking idly about Dean and Michelle, grabbing lunch and then finally heading off to the theatre.

Twelfth Night turned out to be enjoyable, but a bit of a struggle. The actors spoke quickly, and while Eggsy understood the gist most of the time, other parts left him puzzled. To the boy's delight, Harry would sometimes lean closer to whisper explanations in his ear. The combination of Harry's voice, close presence, and warm breath on his skin left Eggsy flustered, his stomach in knots while he tried to keep still and not betray any embarrassing feelings. He ended up squirming anyway, but whenever he snuck glances at Harry to see if the older man had noticed anything amiss, Harry appeared composed and happily absorbed in the play.

Harry determined that Shakespeare had been quite a success as they left the theatre. He had an arm wrapped around Eggsy, and the boy had a flush to his cheeks a waver to his step, like he was thinking very consciously of how to move his legs and where to put his feet and, perhaps, just how the material of his trousers brushed against him as they moved. Harry hadn't missed that problem. Had only encouraged it throughout the whole of the second act, in fact, and he didn't feel at all sorry for doing so. 

Eggsy's day of peace came to an end soon after that, however. Late afternoon would come with Michelle's worries if her son didn't return home on time. Harry knew it and so did Eggsy, and he didn't have to convince the boy of the necessity of not upsetting his mother with unexplained absences now that she'd learned about Harry. 

Rather than take the Underground back, they took Harry's car. Unlike the previous times, Harry ended up dropping Eggsy off a few blocks from home. Michelle didn't know what Harry's car looked like, but they didn't want to risk being spotted. Eggsy lingered in the passenger seat for as long as he dared, leaning across the divider to give Harry one last hug, and then he was out on the sidewalk and hurrying back home.

Watching Eggsy's small figure retreat, Harry felt...both a vague sense of loss and the anticipation of a new beginning. Eggsy didn't know it yet, but his life was about to change very drastically. But Harry would be there. When he was needed. 

He pulled away, heading back into the sinking sun, and dialled a call in to Merlin as he went.

* * *

Over the next week, Harry and Eggsy saw very little of one another. Harry, as expected, was sent away for the entirety of the weekend and most of the following Monday, but they managed to talk whenever they could. Eggsy would sneak outside, down to the courtyard or the lot underneath the flats before going off to see his friends, or simply pretending a phone call with Harry was him going to visit one of the neighbours in and of itself. 

It wasn't until Thursday that Michelle received an official looking letter in the mail and upon closer inspection, looked to be addressed from HM Revenue and Customs. 

Life turned upside down. 

The pay from her side jobs had gotten noticed and she had no idea what she was going to do. Failing to report income directly put her public assistance funds in jeopardy, and deeper financial worries came hand in hand with this unexpected legal trouble. 

Eggsy watched, terrified, as his mother began to drink more often, placing tearful and angry phone calls to her friends and work contacts to ask for help or try to find out how she'd been reported. For such a small amount of supplemental income, Michelle hadn't thought it would ever be noticed or matter that she was getting paid under the table, but her assumptions hadn't held true.

The situation only worsened a handful of days later when Met officers turned up on their doorstep, this time with search warrants and questions about Dean.

Dean had been one of the people she'd called. One of the very first, in fact. And he'd been helpful, as helpful as he could be without having any answers to give her. He'd been apologetic and Eggsy had watched as Michelle stayed up all night curled up on the couch talking with him, tears coming and going every now and again. 

That had been the beginning of their making up. Dean had promised to help, somehow, in whatever way he could. It hadn't relieved the worst of her fears, but Michelle took that little bit of comfort anyway. 

So when she opened the door to a badge and two severe looking officers one Sunday afternoon, Michelle ordered Eggsy back into his room. It didn't matter. The walls were thin and he could hear their voices quite clearly. 

Michelle had always been warned not to talk to the police if something serious ever came up. It was one of those things you learned pretty quick, living in the estates. If you were in trouble then it was best not to say anything until you could get to a public defender. She stuck to that code, but she had no idea why they were there. 

Eggsy could hear how frustrated they became after only a short time of Michelle's counter questions, and then he heard his mother call, facing back toward his door by the sound of it. 

"Eggsy?"

The boy hesitated. Having the police suddenly show up on his doorstep scared him. He had no idea if they were here for _him_ , if somehow he'd been caught on camera shoplifting from one of the nearby stores and traced back to his home. It wouldn't be much better if they were there for his mother, on account of the letter she'd gotten. If they were taking her away, Eggsy had no idea what they'd do with him.

Maybe, just maybe, they were looking for Dean instead. Eggsy hoped that was the case, but he had no way of knowing. Eggsy felt like he was about to throw up from sheer nervousness, but he finally cracked his bedroom door open and dutifully walked over to his mother, watching the policemen with scared eyes all the while. "...y-yeah?"

Michelle looked nervous. The officers looked impatient. The taller of the two had his hand around her arm and Michelle was doing her very best to pretend he wasn't there. "Hey honey." She got down close to him, reached out, pulled him to her like she was afraid something would happen if she didn't have him close. "I need you to come with me. We have to go in and talk to the police. Something's happened with Dean an' I don't know what, but I can't leave you here, ok? Get your jacket." 

"What?" Eggsy's gaze flickered between his mother and the officers in confusion. Inwardly, his tension eased a bit. This was about Dean - not him, not his mother, just the man who was no good for Michelle. Maybe he'd even been caught doing something and Eggsy wouldn't have to worry about him coming around anymore. "Ok, just... can I grab my backpack too, if we're gonna be waiting awhile? It'll be quick, I swear, just two seconds!"

"Hurry up," Michelle called after him as he dashed away, grabbing his things while the officers turned his mother around and she was led out the door. She didn't look any calmer and their body language didn't look any less intimidating, but Eggsy didn't know if that was how the police always acted when they were going to question someone about their boyfriend. They let Michelle lock the door behind Eggsy and then they were all led down to the street and put into the back of a police car. 

Michelle reached for Eggsy's hand and held it tight. It was meant to be a reassuring gesture, but he could feel how fast her pulse was thrumming. 

When they arrived at the station, the two officers led them into what looked like a waiting room. There were chairs and a water cooler, and people coming and going like they were in a hurry while others waited. None of them looked happy. 

The officers exchanged a few words with Michelle before she turned back to Eggsy. "They want to ask me some things. Sounds like it might be a while. Can you wait here and do your homework?"

"Y-yeah, I guess..." Eggsy wasn't thrilled to have to wait there. The police still intimidated him, and a number of the people waiting scared him as well. Some looked like victims, waiting to file reports, but some looked very much like suspects. Eggsy didn't want to be anywhere close to them if one of them decided to get angry and start a fight. Eggsy clung to his mother's hand, but eventually she had to go and was pulled away. The boy watched his mother disappear down a hallway to one of the interview rooms.

Left alone, Eggsy shrunk down on himself. He was the only kid he could see, which meant other people were noticing him too. He didn't want to be noticed. Eggsy dug out a book from his backpack and hid behind it, thinking of his cell phone nestled in his hoodie pocket. He didn't dare try to call Harry, but his nervousness made the impulse nearly overwhelming.

He waited there for a long time, but mostly the other people left him alone. Even when someone had to sit next to him, no one talked to him, and they left as quickly as they could. There were a few old magazines strewn around on the table in the middle of the room, but no one touched them. The clerks at the desk ignored the people waiting until someone was called up. Occasionally, one of the people waiting tried to go up and ask a question, how long someone would be, when they would know the status of their case, and they were sharply told to sit back down and wait to be called. 

Eggsy waited so long that he was tempted to go up and ask himself. Maybe they would be more forgiving to a kid. It had been over an hour. Then over an hour and a half. Just when he was about to reach his wit's end, a younger officer walked through the door and fixed her eyes on him. 

"Eggsy Unwin?"

"Yeah?" Eggsy stuffed his book into his backpack and hopped to his feet. All the anxiety that had dissipated in the dullness of the wait came flickering back to life. Eggsy looked over the officer but couldn't see anything in her face that gave any hint about what was going to happen. She looked tired, even - as if Eggsy was just one more person in another case she'd already seen too many of. "Is my mum done yet? Do I get to see her now? Can we go home?"

She went and sat down next to him, getting out of the way for others coming in and out of the room, but her posture and her unhurried demeanour didn't lessen Eggsy's fears. "It's going to be a while yet. Your mum might have to stay overnight. In the meantime she wants you to stay with your aunt, Susan, right? We've called her to come pick you up." 

Susan lived all the way on the other side of the city. It would be incredibly inconvenient for her to come and get Eggsy even if it was a Sunday, Eggsy knew. She was always working, even on her days off.

Susan also wasn't a person who really liked kids. She'd been nice enough the few times Eggsy had seen her, but he'd been able to tell that she hadn't really been interested in talking or playing with him and was uncomfortable during a lot of their interactions. Her conversations with Michelle had often been about adult concerns and stories regarding the law office she worked for, which bored Eggsy to tears. Susan wouldn't have been called to pick him up unless something was really wrong.

"What's... what's going on with my mom? Why does she have to stay here?" Fear filtered into Eggsy's voice for the first time since he'd arrived. His throat felt incredibly dry. His heart was beating like a trapped bird. "Isn't this about Dean?"

"It is." He could see she felt sorry for him. It was the subtlest set to her expression, but her face otherwise didn't change. "We just have to figure some things out still. Your aunt should be able to tell you more when she gets here. Shouldn't be much longer. Just let the front desk know if you need anything." With that, she gave him a tight smile and rose, nodded once, and headed back through the door. 

Eggsy watched the officer leave in quiet terror. He didn't need anything from the front desk. He needed his _mother_. Susan was the only family they had left, but she was practically a stranger to Eggsy. Again, the cell phone in his pocket tempted him, but Eggsy was afraid that he wasn't allowed to call anyone and it would get taken away.

Eggsy stayed on pins and needles for what felt like hours. Eventually, after far too long, a vaguely familiar face walked up to the front desk. Eggsy recognized his Aunt Susan, looking frazzled and definitely unhappy to be there.

Her dark red hair and heels looked out of place in the room full of the disgruntled general public, more than half of them in sweats and jeans. She didn't spot him until he'd stood and the clerk behind the counter pointed over Susan's shoulder. When she turned to him, her eyes were wide and he could sense a trace of uncertainty in her bearing. Still, she took a breath and seemed a little calmer to have found him. 

"Eggsy," she sighed and reached out for him. "What's Michelle gotten herself into this time?"  
"I d-don't know." Eggsy's words sounded just as miserable as he felt. Susan touched his shoulder, but they were both at odds with this. "Her boyfriend is mean. He hit her, and he nearly hit me, and he almost got arrested except mum decided not to do anything about it, so then he just started comin' 'round again. But then mum got a letter about money, and it was different this time, and now the police are talking to her asking questions about Dean, and..."

Eggsy took a shaky breath. He hadn't eaten in quite a while, and with how upset he was, the room seemed to spin just a bit. "I think Dean - that's her boyfriend, the mean one - I think he did something illegal, and they think mum might know something about it? Or where he is? They won't tell me what's going on and why she has to stay here if they're just asking questions about _Dean_."

"Okay. I'll find out what's going on. Just....sit down and wait for me here." She turned back to the desk and exchanged a few words with the clerk before the officer who'd spoke to Eggsy earlier came out again. She pulled Susan aside and they talked for a bit. She handed Susan a card and then began shaking her head and pointing to the card, clearly ending the conversation. 

Just as Eggsy expected, they parted and Susan came back to him, heels clicking in sharp staccato across the tile floor. She did not look any happier. "Apparently this Dean has got himself in trouble, drug running or something like that. They're trying to figure out if Michelle had anything to do with it and they're holding her for the time being." She put a hand to her temple and glanced over Eggsy's belongings. "You're coming with me, I guess. You got a change of clothes or something?" 

"What? No!" _No_ was a sharp denial, both of the idea that his mother would have anything to do with drugs and his aunt's question about clothes. Clothes didn't even seem important just then; Eggsy was only thinking about his mother, whether they'd put her in handcuffs and where they were keeping her. All because of _Dean_ , who he'd never liked. "Aunt Sue, you gotta do something! We can't just leave her here! Dean is a tosser but mum wouldn't have anything to do with something like that!"

"I don't know what I _can_ do, Eggsy!" Her hands dropped to her sides in defeat. "They've got my number. If they want to talk to you, they will. They'll figure this out. It's probably all just tangled up in a mess since she got involved with him and--" she cut herself off at a stern look from the clerks behind the desk. "We're making a scene. Come on, your mum'll be ok. They can't do anything, just keep her for a day or so and then they have to let her go. If they try to charge her, she can get a lawyer."

Reluctantly, Eggsy followed her out of the station. What else could he do? He couldn't go back home, and he couldn't stay with his mother. Eggsy didn't even know what was going to happen for school; Susan was all the way across the city. She wouldn't be able to drive him, and it would take forever to get to school via public transit - through routes he'd never been on before, full of strangers.

The two of them walked around the building until they got to the lot where Susan had parked her car. It wasn't anything fancy, but a sporty little red sedan was a lot more than he and his mother had. Aunt Susan was better off than them, working for a law office, but nobody would call her posh.

They sat inside for a minute after they got in, Susan taking a deep breath and pushing her hair back from her face in what looked more like a nervous tick. "Okay. So. We should hear back from her by tomorrow." She rubbed her temple, looking distracted, like she was running through the same logistics Eggsy had just been wondering about. "Have you eaten? We'll get takeaway somewhere. You like Chinese?" 

"Yeah, Chinese is fine." Even while upset, he was hungry. Eggsy had felt starving so often lately. Money had always been tight, but his stomach seemed to have gotten bigger lately. The same meals didn't fill him up, and he'd been tempted more often to steal food from shops instead of trinkets. He hadn't wanted to ask his mother for anything more, knowing just how sad she'd get and that anything more would probably come from her portion of the food. 

Eggsy swallowed as the car pulled out onto the street. They were heading the opposite direction he'd come from, which only rubbed it in that he wasn't going home. "Aunt Sue, will they let her go tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she sounded entirely too breathy, too optimistic. "They should. They have to if they can't charge her, and it doesn't sound like they've got anything on her. That cop told me Dean's friend was the one running the whole thing, and they caught Dean with a stash and a list of contacts, but nothing solid on your mum. So.... We should be good." 

Her words were neither comforting nor were they damning, and that didn't help Eggsy's predicament whatsoever. Aunt Sue had no idea how to comfort a child, and it was pretty clear that she had no idea what was going to happen to her sister. They sat in silence while Eggsy's stomach dropped lower and lower. 

"You think you can miss a day of school tomorrow while I try and sort this out?"

"Yeah, that should be fine." Eggsy latched onto the idea. He was in no mood to go to school, or to finish his homework. Even if he'd managed to get there, he wouldn't have been able to think.

All that Eggsy could think about, in fact, was calling his friend. His aunt didn't know what to say, but Harry would. Harry might even be able to pick him up and let him stay at the tailor shop for a while during the day. He might know what they could do to get his mother out of police custody, or who they could talk to about her legal problems. Eggsy's hands clenched around his knees and he tried not to notice that the neighborhoods outside the car had turned very unfamiliar.

It took them a long time to get out to Susan's flat in Stratford, only stopping at the very end for takeaway when Eggsy was starving and couldn't take it anymore. She had a one bedroom on the second story of a street of flats and it was just as Eggsy remembered from the last time he'd visited with his mum--a telly, a single couch, Susan's paperwork scattered on most of the flat spaces including the small kitchen table, and all around kept for a single person in no state to entertain children. 

"Well," Susan looked around as they stood in the door. "Looks like you'll be on the couch tonight."

Unhappiness settled into Eggsy's bones. He was tired, frightened, and now in a strange place where he wouldn't have any privacy. His aunt's house didn't look like it had anything interesting to do, and because he hadn't anticipated how his night was going to go, Eggsy hadn't packed much. The boy sat down on the couch and almost groaned; the cushions weren't anywhere near as comfortable as a bed.

"How long are you gone at work tomorrow?" Eggsy asked after a moment. Maybe, if he was lucky, it wouldn't be long. Maybe he could leave the flat for a bit instead of staying cooped up all day in someplace that felt like an office cubicle. He dug out his phone, wondering if it was too late to text Harry what had happened since he had no privacy to call. Instead, he found a notice that he'd gotten a text already.

With a click of a few buttons, he opened Harry's text and his heart sank. As had happened before when Harry was out of town on work, the older man had sent him a note that he'd be gone for a week, along with a picture of what was supposed to be Kolkata, India. It certainly looked like it, as far as Eggsy could tell, but all that mattered was that Harry was a world away and unable to comfort him now.

All he had was Harry's tiny, pixelated smile, standing somewhere high up with lush greenery and some kind of majestic, spired architecture in the background. 

"I have to go in for a few hours at least, but I should be able to get out early." Susan walked by, paying no mind to the relevance of Eggsy being on his phone. She'd assume he was talking to friends, that this was a regular occurrence. She sat down at the kitchen table and dug into her pork and fried rice. As an afterthought, she found two glasses in the cupboard and poured them some juice from the fridge. 

Eggsy clicked his phone off and got up to join her at the table. He was still ravenous, so he ate, but he barely tasted his noodles as they slid down. Harry was out of the country for at least a week, his few friends were all the way across town, his mother was being held at the police station, and he was stuck with the aunt he barely knew, who didn't even have a bed for him to sleep on. 

The boy reached the bottom of his carton in hardly any time at all, poked at the remnants with his fork, and rose to escape to the bathroom. He didn't have any toiletries with him, either, but at least he could relieve himself and have a few moments of privacy.

Tears welled up as soon as he clicked the door shut behind him.

If Susan could tell he'd been crying by the time he came out, she didn't say anything about it. She'd fished a movie out for them to watch. Some nameless comedy that was only mildly interesting to either of them, but it passed the time. 

That night, she went to bed early with reassurances that Eggsy would see his mum again tomorrow and not to mind her getting ready for work in the early hours of the morning and that there was cereal and milk in the fridge and he could find ham and cheese for sandwiches for lunch. She gave him her work number and promised to be back before the afternoon. 

And then Susan turned out the lights and disappeared behind her door and Eggsy was left with only a pillow and a few extra blankets in an unfamiliar living room. 

The next day wasn't much better. Susan didn't have food that appealed to children, and she was in a rush to get out the door and in to work. Eggsy was left with a few reassurances and a warning not to leave the flat, and then she was gone, leaving him with bland cereal, a half-carton of milk, and a quiet flat ill-suited to a nine year old boy. What she didn't leave him was a spare key.

Eggsy turned up his nose at the cereal and dragged one of the chairs into the kitchen so he could better look at the cupboard contents. A lot of it was nothing he wanted to eat, but there was a bagged loaf of bread on the counter and some weird cheese he'd never heard of, along with butter, tucked away in the fridge. Eggsy remembered his mother making toasted cheese sandwiches quite a few times, and so part of the morning was an adventure in creating one for himself. The end result was a bit burnt around the edges, but still very edible. Far more edible than bran flakes.

After that, the boy showered and redressed in his old clothes, since he didn't have any other options. Exploration of the flat revealed nothing interesting. Eggsy quickly grew bored. Bored enough to do homework, at one point, and soon enough even that was finished and he had nothing left to do.

In theory he could text Harry all the way in India, the man had sent him one after all, but the international charges would be ridiculous and it was Harry who was paying for his phone. Daytime telly was awful, sleeping was impossible, and Susan didn't even have a home computer. Her small shelf of books were filled with mostly self help, guides to financial success, and autobiographies.

In the end, he just had to wait it out. 

Susan returned as promised that afternoon, but the moment she opened the door, Eggsy could see in her face that something had gone wrong. 

"What is it? Did you hear from mum?" Eggsy had draped himself across the sofa, carefully playing catch by tossing his rubbed ball straight up into the air. He'd tucked it into his pocket as soon as he'd heard a key in the lock. All he could think about was that there'd been a delay. His mother had to get out - she hadn't been involved in drugs, Eggsy was _sure_ of that, so there was no question she'd be let go - but there might have been a delay. If they needed more help with the case than they'd thought, maybe the police hadn't let her go yet, which might mean another day stuck in the dreary flat. Even _school_ had been better than this.

Susan sighed, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it. "Yeah, I just talked to her. They're not charging her in collaboration with Dean or anything yet, but it sounds like they're real suspicious. She says she was ordered to review some unreported income with an attorney last week, and now they're thinking that's where the extra money came from." Susan sighed, and then seemed to realise she was talking to a child, about his mother no less, and looked a little abashed. She took off her coat and set her bag down next to the coffee table before she stood awkwardly before Eggsy. "It means she'll be ok just as long as she can prove the money really came from odd jobs she didn't report. But...there's another thing." Her mouth went thin and she shifted her weight, clearly not wanting to give Eggsy bad news. "They said the Local Authorities are questioning your welfare right now. With the incident with Dean a couple weeks ago, that's basically domestic abuse. And now all this stuff.... They're just.... They're looking into it, might be making a case. And they want you to stay with me in the meantime."

"Wait, wait. What does that mean?" Eggsy had gone from pale to sheet-white. The fact that they were considering whether his mother was involved, instead of just questioning her about Dean, was a shock enough, but the of rest of Susan's words were enough to put a spike of fear through him. "What welfare? Not like... _orphan_ stuff, right? Just somethin' to keep Dean away from mum and me?"

Susan sighed and put her hand to her temple again, shaking her head. Her normally energised attitude fell away somewhere in the past twenty four hours. "No Eggsy, it means that because of all this stuff, the drugs, Dean being violent, her putting you in danger, her trouble with money and using the system and whatnot...it means they're questioning whether she's fit to take care of you." Finally, her shoulders slumped and she sat down on the edge of the table. 

"But... wh-what does that mean?" Eggsy wasn't stupid, but he wanted his aunt to deny it and tell him that it meant something else - _anything_ but what he thought it meant. He'd grown up with other low income kids and heard about some of them getting taken away, given to relatives or put into foster care homes if nobody in the family was suitable, willing, and able. "Mum's just fine! I don't want to stay here! I just want to go home!"

"Eggsy...." Susan looked lost. She looked frightened that he might cry and she didn't know what to do about it or how to comfort him. But she also looked sorry. "I'll do what I can to help. I can talk to the judge maybe. I know it hasn't been easy, but you guys have been getting by on your own, and when they sort all this other stuff out with Dean, well then...they'll let you go back with her." She offered him a smile, but it didn't look very convincing.

Eggsy wasn't convinced at all. He was old enough by now to have realized that adults lied. Aunt Susan definitely looked like a liar. "I just want to go home..."

Eggsy slipped out the front door despite Susan's protests behind him. He wanted privacy, and that was one of many things his aunt's flat didn't afford him. He ran down the stairway and around the corner, finally locating a nook slightly hidden by a tree trunk and decorative hedges that would shelter him from curious eyes. He didn't let himself get too loud, swallowing down his cries, but once he crouched down near the earth the tears came freely.

He might be losing his home. He might be losing his mother. And all of it was Dean's fault. Eggsy hated him as he'd never hated anyone in his life.

He could hear Susan calling for him in the distance. He could hear the fear in her voice and her curses over losing her sister's son the very first day she'd had him, but Eggsy didn't come out. 

People passed on the street just meters away and didn't see him. The world went on, heedless of the way his life was falling apart so suddenly. Even Harry's smile, all the way off on another continent, was little comfort to him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art for a non-specific point in the story. [Amakachao](http://amakachao.tumblr.com) summed up the inspiration quite well: "#It reminds me of when I’d fall asleep in one place and then wake up #mysteriously in bed because my parent carried me there. #It’s a weird feeling. #Like I know what’s going through Harry’s mind >;) #but also nostalgia? #Careful don’t cross those wires lol"
> 
>  
> 
>   
> [And more art here](http://pixiv.me/x57)


	7. Chapter 7

Thousands of miles away, Harry stepped out of a silver Lamborghini, squinting into the setting sun. With a smile, he tossed his keys to a valet before a small entourage of suits welcomed him to the outdoor club overlooking the city. The music was in full swing as Harry moved between guests in flowing gowns and formal wear, half of them already sloshed. He was all good charm as he moved past the ladies, as he was greeted personally by the two software execs he'd been tailing for the past week, already working his way into their circle, but for the time being, Harry excused himself in search of drinks and set his mind on watching them progress into a stupor from afar as the night went on. Until the right moment arose. 

He sidled up to a tall man in shades leaning against the bar, cocktail in hand already, Indian heat sending a trickle of sweat trailing down his bare scalp. 

"I should have brought you a hat," Harry murmured as he waited on a Martini. 

"Never pass up an opportunity for ridicule, do you," Merlin replied, his lips barely moving. His eyes were elsewhere on the room. To any observers they weren't talking at all, merely taking advantage of space at the bar at the same time. Thus far, everything was going according to plan. Their marks were staying in sight, and behaving exactly as predicted. A little patience was all that was required. "Keep it up and I'll find a convenient way to rid you of your keratin burden. I wonder if that will make your private mission more difficult."

Harry scoffed. "You underestimate my charms." Nevertheless, his fingers brushed a little self consciously over the edge of his temple after he pushed up his glasses. He settled his weight on his forearms and watched the setting sun with a warm feeling in his gut, comforted by the cover of noise from the crowd behind them. "I'd been meaning to tell you about that. Just received word he's in the sister's hands already. Makes you feel comforted, doesn't it? Knowing how conscientiously our children are being watched over by the Local Authority?" Harry thanked the bartender for his drink and hid his smile along the rim of the delicate glass. 

"Speak for yourself." Merlin sipped on his own drink, favoring a passing woman with a smile and a wink. Harmless; she was already spoken for, but a little flattery and faux interest were all part of blending in. "I won't feel comforted until I know the situation is in hand. Risk management and all. Just what to you intend to do, after this little legal charade plays out? Arthur will ask, you know. He might even assume you've taken an unusual tack at nomination, unless you're too obvious and he decides you have your own personal assistant like Tristan."

"Would it be so bad for him to suspect either? Or both, even? I do enjoy putting Arthur off his footing once in a while, and he knows it." Harry laughed softly. It sounded like a joke, but they both knew how serious Merlin really was. There were simply too many odd factors that came along with Eggsy Unwin. He was the son of a candidate, Harry's candidate in fact. It wasn't at all unusual for the knights to follow family lines, but this was something very different. Arthur might favour those knights who raised their sons with a position around the table in mind just as much as a position in Parliament, but he would not look well upon the adoption of a failed candidate for that purpose. Harry shook his head. "Whatever the case, it'll be a long time in coming, and Arthur can worry about it then. I'd rather focus on the next few weeks ahead of us for now." 

"Mmm." Merlin's hum was noncommittal. He glanced to one side, pretending to follow the path of a well-known local across the room. He polished off his drink, turned to the barkeep, and ordered another. Once the attention was off him again, he resumed. "Tell me, are you planning on dragging me into this mess more than you already have? Office supplies are one thing, but custody is quite another. And you still haven't told me precisely what the end game is."

Harry didn't glance at him, but Merlin noted the small twitch at the corner of his mouth. "I like to know what I'm signing up for in the name of preserving security. It will determine how large a debt you owe me later."

"Good that you'll have someone's favour, because you're owe me plenty. I hope you'll give me sufficient time to field requests. I scramble enough for the organization as it is, and I have no desire for further hassle." Merlin lifted his glass again. Another swallow and then he was studying the way the light filtered through the drink, refracting in liquid and glass, bending to its environment. He'd seen many humans bend just as much in his time, through pleasant or unpleasant means. Merlin had an idea of just what would happen if Harry obtained permanent custody of the boy.

As things went, he'd seen much worse. Harry lacked scruples in several areas, as did every member of the Kingsman service and those they served, but Merlin couldn't picture Harry enacting the horrors he'd seen happen to others. Small comfort, but plebian conceptions of ethics were a luxury among them these days. "Arthur won't care," Merlin finally said, his eyes on the shimmying waist of some young thing swaying against a paramour. "You don't know all his tastes, but he'd have no leg to stand on to criticize you. I know."

"No there's a story I might like to hear someday. Or, perhaps not," Harry mused, idly casting his gaze through the crowd for one of the execs who'd run off to the restroom five minutes ago. He liked knowing where his targets were even during down time. Merlin wouldn't tell him anyway, just as he knew Merlin wouldn't confess his own personal business to the other knights until it got out on its own. Which made Harry wonder, and not for the first time, whether Merlin had any side projects of his own. "Any thoughts yet as to what this all will cost me when we're through?" 

"I'm not going to ruin my bargaining power by setting false limitations on myself," Merlin chided. "We'll talk more thoroughly once things are settled. I'm not a grifter. I think you'll find the cost more than fair."

Merlin hadn't decided yet. Through all the avoidance of naming a more tangible price, Merlin had insisted on reckoning the debt in terms of sizeable favours. Part of it, Harry was sure, was that he wasn't certain just how much trouble the impending legal battle was going to be, or the fuss that might ensue at headquarters if his aiding and abetting drew a spotlight. But Merlin didn't know what he wanted yet, which meant he might be influenced into accepting a payment Harry designed himself.

So Harry hummed and took a sip of his Martini. "Indeed." 

As the night went on, Harry mingled with the guests while Merlin retired early to their rooms with one of the laptops Harry had taken off their targets by the time they'd been too drunk to stand but not too drunk to resist showing off their revolutionary anonymous networking design, one being solicited by various government agencies. And Kingsman. 

Harry kept them occupied for the rest of the night while Merlin inspected their work and then made the exchange once again for Harry to safely stow away the laptop with its owner, who by that time was halfway under a table and completely incoherent. Harry would count it a miracle if the computer survived the night without being stepped on. 

"Rather nice to have a relaxed mission for once," Merlin commented once they made it back to their rooms. The suites had door joining them in the middle, which Merlin had propped open for the moment. "Delightfully warm weather after all that damp, and none of the usual gunpowder and C4. Practically luxurious."

Harry tossed his jacket over a chair and Merlin raised an eyebrow. "I take it the guests of the evening were not nearly as witty as they thought themselves to be."

"You'd guess correctly, then. I've spent the week on a social battlefield; at this point, I'd almost go for a real one." Harry sat down on the foot of his bed. And then decided not to care and flopped backward. "And another drink." 

He could almost feel Merlin rolling his eyes from where the man stood in the doorway, so Harry cracked an eye to study him. "Tell me Merlin, who do you go to for help on your 'side projects'? Don't tell me you don't have any. Unless you truly don't, then just lie to me. Please. But that time with the missing electric equipment, you remember...a month or so after you got the position... That always made me wonder."

"You think I'd just tell you?" Merlin's smile was almost fond. The corners of his eyes crinkled while he surveyed Harry's prone form spread across the mattress. "You know as much as I how powerful the right information can be. I had help, I've always paid for my equipment expenses just as you did, and it's always been worth every pound. But your assumption is right: every member has at least one guilty pleasure. I've sussed out quite a few of them for myself."

Harry snorted. "Of course you have. And it was worth a try. I'm laid bare before you now." And Harry thought about that, not for the first time. His initial reaction had of course been embarrassment, but it had quickly dissipated, and not just because he knew Merlin would come around. The truth was that he simply wasn't ashamed of it. Harry gave a long sigh. "Pour me a drink, would you? And stop hovering in the doorway, you look like a ghost." 

Harry relished the way he just knew Merlin was rolling his eyes internally again. And the way he knew that if Merlin ever disclosed to the other knights just how informal Harry was with him, they'd never believe it. 

Likely there were a great many things the other knights wouldn't believe of Merlin, as well. That he'd acquiesce to Harry's request so easily, for one; mild irritation aside, the other man did exactly as asked, even digging out one of the complimentary tumblers to pour it in. Merlin walked slowly, pausing to crack the seal on the bottle once he was beside the bed. Harry didn't move, and Merlin's expression turned hooded and contemplative.

"I doubt you're bare as all that. Is it just the unequal footing that's bothering you? I thought you were confident in my standards of discretion."

"Oh I have no doubt of your fairness or your discretion," Harry admitted, having to pull himself up to accept the drink without spilling it. He moved to face Merlin, who sat at the chair opposite Harry's bed and poured himself a finger of scotch as well. "But yes, I suppose I am used to being on equal footing." Taken for granted, Harry thought. He and Merlin were close, as close as Harry and Merlin ever really got to anybody. Now the man kept his secret before Harry safely secured it and he would also owe Merlin an unspecified favour. It didn't necessarily put him off that Merlin knew--he would rather have Merlin in his corner than anyone else. It simply made him appreciate their working relationship. 

"You'll just have to endure for a while longer. I'll have a request once your situation is a bit more squared away. My second expectation is that, in the future, you'll help me should I make a reasonable petition for assistance on a personal project."

Merlin sipped at his scotch. The two of them observed one another quietly, both trying to take the measure of someone who'd been trained to hide as many emotional tells as possible. Merlin cleared his throat. "Am I the first to find out? Or no?"

Harry raised his brows, both at Merlin's question and that he might indeed have personal issues of his own. "You are. You know I don't keep close company, and the mother has no idea it's headed in that direction yet. Hopefully she won't ever." Harry smiled to himself before he took a sip from his glass. "But you should see him, Merlin. In person. I know you don't want to hear of such things, but hear me out. He is...bewitching. And then in the next moment he's a complete urchin. It's all very confounding, really," Harry added fondly, thinking of Eggsy's smile in the sunlight and the drawl of his voice making fun of one thing or another.

Merlin was silent for a moment, simply taking Harry in. "He's ensnared you," he pointed out. "Just as much as you've tried to ensnare him. And you're right, there are some things I'd rather not have to listen to, but I'm interested to hear about your progress. I can't pretend to understand what you see, any more than I can pretend to understand the relationships of a great many targets or agents alike, but you sound like you have a particular strategy in play."

"I'm sure you're putting the pieces together," Harry chided. He strongly suspected Merlin just wanted to hear him say it. Nevertheless he did need to update Merlin on how far his help had gotten them. "I'm happy to report that the income investigation accompanied by the boyfriend's narcotics trafficking worked. The authorities suspect Michelle could have been in on it and have thus placed Eggsy with her sister in the meantime. Citing possible neglect and domestic abuse. I received word of the latter just this evening." Harry met Merlin's gaze, his strong brows doing nothing to hide the calculations going on in that mind of his. "Even if the narcotics investigation turns up nothing, the investigation of Eggsy's welfare can't be stopped now. His mother is forbidden from contacting him. The aunt won't want him. When the time is right, it won't be difficult to bid for custody of the boy myself. If he can't go back to his mother, Eggsy would jump at the chance, and I dare say the court would look upon my offer, as a family friend, as the far more favourable option for his well-being." 

"Particularly as you're a notably higher class, socially and financially." It wasn't just Harry's imagination; Merlin's pupils were dilated. The effect was slight, but noticeable all the more for the change that accompanied the shift in topic. "Prosecution may not be able to prove a direct connection, but neither will Michelle be readily able to prove her side income is legal. Her employers won't want to testify and admit to dodging taxes, and get investigated themselves. How unfortunate it would be if one or more of them were found to have ties to the drug trade in some capacity..."

Harry inclined his head, conceding to the idea and catching himself rapt in Merlin's gaze. His gaze that was now a little less cool than it normally was. "That would certainly add fire to their suspicions. Still just enough to heat up the investigation without convicting her. For Eggsy's state of mind, I don't think I should go that far yet, but I need them separated. Indefinitely. And the court will do that if he has no other relatives. Dean could very well get time for this, but if he does I don't suspect it will be long. He was only a runner. They'll lean on each other now and that is exactly what I need them to do. As long as he's in the picture and Michelle is unstable, Eggsy's welfare will be in jeopardy." Harry's hand fell to his knee, turning the empty tumbler and idly noting just how well he had Merlin's attention now. They sat in mirror of one another, like two compasses honed in on a singular point between them. Or perhaps, Harry mused, Merlin's compass was pointed directly at him.

"I'll arrange for something." A generous offer, considering that Harry's previous requests for assistance were bought by as-yet-undetermined favours. Merlin did not have a habit of volunteering help without personal motive or some sort of payment. None of the agents did, point in fact - they worked together on official business, and they protected one another, but they didn't operate as a family, or at least not in the terms of the sort of selfless altruism that usually implied. 

"A great deal of trouble for a boy you could have merely taken." Merlin's voice broke the silence after a few seconds. Harry didn't miss the way his Scottish drawl had thickened - but whether from interest or alcohol was difficult to tell.

"To what end?" Harry remarked. "I need him willing." He broke their gaze long enough to watch the glass turn in his hand, remembering how the light refracted through Merlin's earlier that night, out at the club. Harry could still feel the man's penetrating gaze, but it oddly didn't bother him. Merlin wasn't condemning him, he was...helping Harry. There was something motivating that--Harry could feel it. He felt it should have been a little off-putting, but it wasn't. 

Harry didn't admit that he had no idea how long Eggsy would remain willing. He had his hopes. But those hopes could be dashed in the face of reality. 

"That's unexpectedly sentimental." Agents weren't given to such things, on the whole. If they didn't start out that way, the work quickly stripped them of preconceptions and a great deal of personal sensitivity. Completing missions was difficult, if not impossible, with an agent that was too squeamish or compassionate. Harry, it seemed, might be an exception. "And an interesting word choice. _Need_. Not _want_."

"Is that your way of asking how far I'd go to get what I want?" A smile touched Harry's mouth. "When does my desire to have everything get so bad that a want becomes a need? Or if I can't have him in such a way, would that need then give way to the desire to have him in whatever way I can?" On instinct Harry looked up, just barely catching the spark of keen interest in Merlin's eyes. "Somehow I get the feeling that if I were to ask, you'd tell me we all fall in the end." Merlin's attention did not waver, and Harry found himself studying the other man. "Is that where your interest lies?"

A small lift to the corner of Merlin's mouth told Harry what he needed to know. "There is a certain inevitability to the way principles get compromised. Even the most stalwart and seemingly incorruptible fall prey to the right temptation or pressure. Sometimes opportunities just need a little encouragement to present themselves."

Harry felt the beginnings of a wry smile pull at his mouth. "Sir Galahad the Pure, the Chaste." Harry closed his eyes, feeling heavy with drink, offset by the dawning thrill of understanding. "How this must delight you." It wasn't an accusation. Harry set the empty glass on his night stand and brought his hands to his face, laughing softly at just how fitting this little revelation about him must have been for Merlin. 

"Galahad didn't even need the prompting of a godless heathen wizard. He did a fair enough job at corrupting himself," Merlin pointed out. His cryptic smile had widened with Harry's laughter. Something about the man's expression opened up, leaving him bright-eyed and a bit more authentic. "You're not the first, by any means. My interests have never been about blackmail or leverage, although they could certainly be used as such. Every agent has something. It's not for me to judge."

Harry pressed a palm to his face and let himself fall backward again, still chuckling. "We should really call you Lucifer." He'd paced himself through the night, never quite drunk, only just buzzed, but Harry still felt like he was going to need to chug several bottles of water come morning. And he couldn't be arsed to care. He was feeling too good. Eggsy was going to be his. And Merlin.... Harry shifted to meet the man's gaze. He was still watching Harry with that strange, open excitement, almost a kind of fondness. Harry found himself returning it, grateful. "Good to have you on my side."

"As much as I can be said to be on anyone's _side_." Merlin reclined against the back of his chair, and it was only just then that Harry noticed how much the other man had been drawn forward. Merlin studied him with a contemplative air, that odd smile still hovering on his lips. "I couldn't quite believe it at the beginning, you know. I hadn't wanted to know the details at first, particularly when I was at risk of being called to task and made to give up anything I might know about you. That danger has passed, and in retrospect was unrealistic given how much I know. Arthur would be reluctant to press me."

Harry raised his brows. "Good to know." But that did make him wonder if Arthur held a grudge against him nevertheless. Then Harry's brain caught up with him. "You didn't want to know 'at first'? Has that changed?" He thought he should feel uneasy, perhaps, and maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was a certain amount of pride Harry felt at how captivating Eggsy was, that Merlin's tentative interest did not offend him. 

"Not everything is interesting to me. And being as I was tangentially involved, covering for the missing equipment, well... it's far easier to convincingly pass lie detector tests and interrogations about what you know when you, quite frankly, don't know anything." Merlin gave a half-shrug, getting to his feet and going to pour himself another finger of scotch. "I'm too involved, at this point. And this isn't a particular scenario I've had the opportunity to witness before."

"Hm, fair enough." Harry sighed and closed his eyes, feeling content with the softness of the blankets under him and the drowsiness brought on by the late night and the buzz of the scotch combined. He could fall asleep like that, knowing a little bit more about just what kind of a man Merlin was and comfortable in it all the same. "Happy to see you're getting some measure of interest out of it, besides what I'll owe you." And Harry meant that. An interested Merlin was a Merlin ready to help beyond grudging acquiescence. Harry smiled with his eyes closed. "Knew you'd come around."

"No, you didn't. You were simply optimistic." Merlin resettled into his chair, surveying Harry's contented sprawl with a goodly amount of amusement. The scene was touching, but also vaguely disturbing. Harry had never dropped his guard like this before. "And don't thank me yet. You don't know what you're going to owe me." Merlin had a fairly solid idea of what he wanted, but little idea of what Harry would willingly agree to, or just how much trouble the upcoming legal battle might prove to be.

Harry hummed in the back of his throat, not letting Merlin spoil his mood. Or erase the smile from his face. "Last night in Kolkata, Merlin. I should enjoy it. I'll have a week at the very least, probably more, of pretending I'm still away to contend with when we get back. Timing. I need Eggsy desperate." He thought of the last time he'd seen the boy, taken him out for dinner and then off to the latest movie. Harry thought about Eggsy curled against him on the couch the night they'd told Michelle, not wanting to face his mother and yet so willfully determined to confront her all the same. Harry wondered if some part of Eggsy had known that it would go wrong. For all his outward optimism at the time, he'd still clung to Harry like he feared it was the last time he'd see him. 

" _Desperate_ should be easy enough to accomplish. I wonder if you're prepared for what comes afterward, since you seem to be interested in more than a quick indulgence." Merlin tilted his glass, watching the remaining scotch swirl at the bottom. "Have you ever cared for a child on your own before? Longer than a temporary fostering situation? Because the end game you're aiming for is replacing this boy's entire family, all of his emotional and psychological support... with you. Just you. Leaving for periods of time for missions will cause tension. So will lies, if and when he catches you in them."

Harry sighed. "I know." And he did. It wasn't that he hadn't thought of that. It was that he couldn't bring himself to stop, regardless. "I have to hope, for now, that what I can offer him will make up for some of that in the end." Harry could imagine just how poor a recompense that would be if Eggsy were to ever find out the entirety of what he planned to do, but.... Lesser evils could perhaps be forgiven. "And no, I have to admit I have very little experience in childcare." Harry finally opened his eyes and let out a long sigh, feeling himself come back to the present. "That'll be an exercise in and of itself."

"At least you're honest about that. Most people don't know what they're doing, however. Even the parents themselves. Childcare seems to be largely trial-and-error as conducted by most of the populace, with a scattering of pop culture fads sprinkled throughout." Merlin's eyes went distant as he thought. Once his glass was drained, he set it aside on the small bedside table. "Children are work. You'll have to deal with a great deal of insecurity, beyond your particular area of interest."

Harry raised a brow and turned his head, considering Merlin in a new light though he very much doubted it could be possible. "And you would know about this? Or is that just one of the many tips you've picked up by observing people?" Merlin wouldn't have had the time to become tangled up with children. Or families. Or so Harry assumed--the man worked constantly, more than most of the knights. Merlin was almost never out of contact. But then again...Harry had to consider that perhaps Merlin found ways of living his personal life at the very same time. After all, the man was usually little more than a voice on the other end of a microphone down in his bunker at HQ. 

Merlin actually laughed. After how quiet the conversation had been, the sound was startling. "Not known from experience, no. I've never been interested in the stereotypical domestic life. What I have seen, or heard, from years of surveillance is that raising children is a complex job that's not well understood and often poorly executed, which in turn causes a number of interesting results once they reach adulthood. And then, often, renew the cycle by starting families while underprepared, making completely different mistakes, and so on down the line."

Merlin leaned back in his chair, still with a cocky smile on his lips. Exaggerated with the relaxing effects of alcohol, no doubt. "We're nearly equal in terms of reclusiveness. I won't be of any help if you're seeking someone with firsthand experience."

Both of Harry's brows raised at that. He rolled onto his side to face Merlin more fully, aware even as he was that he must look ridiculous, too tired to sit upright and still fully dressed but for his jacket. Studying Merlin made Harry wonder if this was what the man's new found fascination for his own situation felt like. A puzzle. Finding depths in a friend he hadn't known where there. Suspected over the years perhaps, but.... "Are the strings you pull really the only ones for you?" Harry found himself asking without meaning to. He didn't find it sad. Rather...fitting, actually. Merlin was a master at what he did. Why should his personal life be any different?

"Save your concern, if that's what you're getting at." Merlin's good humor slipped into a defensive blankness quicker than Harry could blink. Harry had seen the same composed expression on his friend dozens of times before. Focus and impassivity were just two of many traits that made Merlin the best operator and trainer they had, staying calm even when a situation jumped the tracks. "If you're as exclusive as I suspect, you should understand. My interests tend to put an end to anything I might care to pursue, and that's besides the duties and long hours of our work. My position especially. And people are often more effort than they're worth."

"Well," Harry sighed. "On that I heartily agree, up until now. I did not mean offence." Harry offered the other man a small smile, knowing how his unassuming nature and soft eyes had a tendency to work even on Merlin when he wanted it to. Even when Merlin saw it coming, as he did every time. Harry suspected it was part of the reason Merlin was always so exasperatedly fond of him. Fond being relative, of course. 

Harry reached over and patted the man's knee. "We'd best get some sleep. We'll be packing up tomorrow and then it'll be a week of reports and nothing much else." 

Merlin tracked the approach and withdrawal of Harry's hand with a slight crease to his brow, but didn't move away. "I doubt it will stay _just_ reports. There's always something when you least expect it. But yes, it won't do to be less alert while getting ready to leave, particularly as I'll be flying. Only so much on the plane is automated, you know."

Merlin flashed Harry a smile than was more courtesy than anything else and stood. He left his empty glass on the table, and a few seconds later he closed the adjoining door behind himself.

Harry rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He kicked off his shoes and undressed just enough to be comfortable, wondering at this new found...closeness, camaraderie, understanding?--whatever it was, he had with Merlin. It was necessary, and, he supposed, kind of nice as well. 

His thoughts drifted back to Eggsy. He hadn't had the time to send the boy another text, nor should he even if he had. Eggsy was on his own now, left adrift with Susan. Even if Michelle risked contacting him against the court's wishes, there was nothing she could do to bring him back. Merlin was right, Harry had a lot more work ahead of him in the next week than summary reports.

* * *

Eggsy was miserable. 

As much as he'd felt trapped and unhappy back home, as much as he'd been avoiding his mother... at least he'd had her nearby, and his friends. Now he had nobody.

His aunt had quickly tired of trying to drive him across town, what with the hassle and the hours sitting in traffic, and had decided it was equally unacceptable for Eggsy to take public transit across the city completely unsupervised. He'd been enrolled in a new school near his aunt's house, and there he'd promptly been targeted due to his new status and his hand-me-down clothes, which had been retrieved from his mother's flat. Michelle still hadn't been permitted to talk to him, and Susan was stricter than Eggsy's mother had ever been. Fights hadn't been long in coming; his aunt didn't know how to compromise or what kids needed, at all.

The lack of privacy grated on Eggsy's nerves. He wasn't allowed longer showers - Susan complained about the water bill and how off-putting she found it to speculate what he'd been doing. He had nowhere to escape outside - the grounds around the complex weren't set up for play, and there were no other children nearby that he'd found, and his aunt had been uncomfortable with the idea of him walking or taking transit to one of the parks that were some distance away. Everything left him trapped in a boring flat that was beginning to feel like a prison cell. One with a very unhappy warden.

Most evenings Susan came home with takeaway for them both. Since Eggsy had taken over the couch and she didn't have anywhere else to put him, she was relegated to the kitchen table. Or her bedroom. They would watch the telly. She would take calls that were either work related or personal and it was obvious that Eggsy's presence made her uncomfortable about the latter. 

When Eggsy's frustrations at being cooped up all the time started to outweigh his hesitance to fight with his aunt, Susan became even more distressed. It was clear she didn't know how to comfort him. As more and more of their nights were spent on the couch and they still hadn't heard from the court, Eggsy's mood began to drop. He acted out more and more, and what little faith Susan had in herself as a caretaker dwindled rapidly. 

Eggsy began spending more time looking at his phone. It wasn't smart of him, and he knew it, but he'd kept a couple of Harry's texts, as well as the last one. The photo of him in Kolkata was terrible, all pixelated and not doing the man justice at all. With little else to do and no ability to contact his old mates from school or Rowley Way, Eggsy began to fixate on his primary friendship. He began to fantasize about what might happen when Harry came back - if he would know what sort of lawyer Michelle might be able to get to clear things up, if he'd be able to have regular talks again so he didn't feel on the edge of exploding all the time. After days and days, the boy couldn't take it anymore.

Two terrible things happened at once. The first was that he texted Harry's number, hoping that the man had returned from his business trip, only to receive a notification that his texts could not be delivered. The second was that Eggsy walked past the kitchen table one night, going to the fridge for a snack, and spotted a letter from what appeared to be a long term foster care placement agency. Eggsy picked up the envelope and opened it with a cold, heavy feeling in his stomach.

It dropped further upon what he read. The agency thanked Susan for her inquiry and proposed a date to deliberate with the court about one Gary Unwin's well-being. Potential issues with anger and rebellion, as well as suspected depression were mentioned. The date they'd set was only a day away, midafternoon. Eggsy would be in school still and Susan hadn't mentioned it. She'd be there without him, talking to these people about his future without him _or_ his mother. 

It was then that the clack of heels announced Susan's entry to the kitchen just behind him. "Eggsy, don't read the mail."

" _Fuck_ that." Eggsy no longer bothered watching his mouth around his aunt. This was the last straw; he no longer cared about tiptoeing around her feelings. "This's it? You're gonna just go tell a bunch of people you don't want me no more, and hand me of to some strangers? And you're not gonna tell me?"

Eggsy's hand clenched without thinking, and he heard a crunch of paper as the letter turned into a ball. He threw it at his aunt, only feeling a small measure of satisfaction as she ducked to avoid it. He was afraid, but his anger outweighed his fear. "You're not even gonna _ask_ what I want? I don't wanna be here _neither_ , you know. I just want to go home with mum."

" _Shit_! Eggsy!" Susan righted herself and pointed her finger at him, control slipping just as quickly. "I want you to be back with your mum, too! But this isn't _working_. You can see that, right!? I can't. I can't take care of you. You can't live on the couch forever. I can still barely get you into school on time. _Neither of us_ are happy here and maybe being with a professional would be better until you can go home." She passed a hand over her forehead and sank back against the wall, overtaken by the sudden confrontation and clearly not expecting to have had to tell him. She looked more upset than he'd seen her before. " _Shit_."

"Maybe I don't wanna be with a _professional_!" Eggsy yelled back. Hurt filtered into his expression and his vision blurred. All he could think about was Michelle and Harry. Neither of them would treat him like this. Harry would let him stay with him, Eggsy was sure of it - even if he had to be out of town for work. The older man trusted him, unlike his aunt, and Eggsy wouldn't betray that.

The boy scrubbed a fist across his face, ridding himself of tears, and started to move. He pushed past his aunt and into the living room. "If you don't want me, then I'll just _go_!" A few seconds were all it took to scoop up his backpack and move to the door. 

"Eggsy, you can't just run away!" she called after him. "I'll call the police!" 

That was the last thing he heard before the door slammed behind him and he was running down the steps. Eggsy had escaped several times already, most often after they'd fought, but he'd always come back. He had nowhere else to go. Susan hadn't called the police before--he'd never been gone long enough for her to seriously worry--but this time was different. Considering the circumstances, it didn't sound like an empty threat.

Eggsy didn't care. His aunt's opinions and actions didn't mean anything to him anymore. He wasn't afraid of her, not like he was afraid of rejection by his mother or violence from Dean. She'd barely factored into his life before his mother's legal troubles, and now it looked like she was going to be absent from the rest of his life as well.

Eggsy didn't have a solid plan. All he had was a few quid tucked away into his backpack, some of it pickpocketed, and sheer desire. He could only hope that Harry was home from work now, or that he could hide and last for as long as it took for him to get home.

When Eggsy boarded the underground, it wasn't yet so late that it was strange to see a boy of his age on the subway, but it was a bit to see a child unaccompanied. Eggsy kept his gaze averted and his hood pulled up, tense for the entire ride. He breathed a sigh of relief once he got off, but it was brief. He had a long ways to walk.

Some time later, he stopped outside Harry's house, cell phone in hand. He dialed, praying that Harry picked up and worrying about what he was going to do if his friend didn't.

It was a bad sign that the lights were out. It was already well after dark and all the neighbours had their lights on inside. Everyone in the mew but Harry. 

The call dropped and once again Eggsy received a notice the number was currently unavailable. It had to have something to do with Harry being in India. Somehow he'd been able to text Eggsy when he'd arrived, but...his phone could have gone out of service. Maybe there were roaming charges he didn't want to pay. Maybe he thought Eggsy would be fine until he got back and that one picture was enough in the meantime. Eggsy's life was falling apart, standing right outside Harry's vacant doorstep, and Harry had no idea. 

Cars passed out on the street behind Eggsy, sometimes the occasional pedestrian. All of them had somewhere to go home to at the end of the night. Michelle wouldn't turn him away if he went home. She'd probably break down, hold him and say how sorry she was and how much she missed him. And then the police would come and take him away when they found out. Right back to Aunt Sue, or worse.   
Eggsy was staring up at Harry's window in despair when he heard one single, tell-tale bleat of a police siren behind him. 

Eggsy jumped, then started walking. Running drew attention, and attention wasn't what he wanted. A glance over his shoulder gave him second thoughts about that, and with fear clenching his gut, Eggsy broke into a sprint. He had no clear idea of where he was going. He didn't even know the neighborhood; he had no idea of where he could slip away from pursuit. All he could think about was putting distance between himself and the Met car. Everything else was a worry for later.

It was no surprise when they followed, lights coming all the way on. Eggsy had to duck back into the street since he couldn't get through the gates in the mew, and that put him right in front of his pursuers. Whether the entirety of the force really was on the lookout for him or whether they were simply suspicious of a young boy out alone after curfew didn't really matter. 

Eggsy heard the slam of a car door and then footfalls behind him, the siren diminishing. 

Eggsy ran as fast as he could. Terror consumed him. If they caught him, Eggsy was sure they'd put him in foster care. He'd never see his mother, or Harry, or any of his friends, ever again. He'd be stuck with cold strangers who, in his imagination, had to be even worse than his Aunt Susan. Shouts rang behind him, but he didn't pay attention. Eggsy turned a corner, vaulted over a short wall, and went flat against the ground in some stranger's garden, just underneath the shrubbery. The boy's hands shot out and clamped onto the woody base of one of the plants, and he shut his eyes, listening for footsteps.

"Where'd he go?" 

Eggsy could hear them now. They saw him turn the corner. There were only so many places he could have run between the town houses. 

"You check that way." 

One set of footsteps dashed away. The other came closer. A torch shined over Eggsy's head and into the backyard of the house, then the one next to it. Boots scraped against the wall Eggsy had jumped over and he realised one of the men was up on its ledge, right above him, peering down into the yard to find out where he could have escaped. There was only one gate at the other end, but it was closed and locked. 

And then the light of the torch came down, nearly blinding him with its intensity. 

"Gotcha!"

Eggsy squirmed to try to get away, but it was too late. The policeman was too close, and he felt a large hand come down and grab him near the back of his neck, forcibly pulling him up from where he'd been hiding. "Gerrof me!" he yelled, but his voice came out in a frightened squeak. The bobby had him out on the sidewalk and metal cuffs around his wrists before he could do anything.

The other one came back as soon as he heard the commotion. " _Hush now_ , we're not gonna hurt you," Eggsy heard the first man say. It was hard to get a look at them when he was facing the ground, but then he was lifted by the arm and turned around, apparently not taken as a threat. "Why'd you run, huh? Where are your parents?" This man was older, rough sounding in the way only a Londoner could be. The second looked like the rookie, fresh faced and a little wide eyed.

Eggsy caved. He was only nine, and not brave enough to put on a tough face. He broke into tears, held firmly by one cop who had a firm grip on his cuffs. "I just wanted to see my friend," he sobbed. The officers were walking him away from the alley, and Eggsy glanced back, but he couldn't see any lights in Harry's house. He must have still been gone. "Please, I'm sorry, I just wanted to see my friend."

"Okay, okay." Finally the officer's tone turned mollifying, but they were still taking Eggsy back to the car. "Looks like you were planning to be out for a while," he said, noting Eggsy's backpack. "Where's your parents? They know you're gone?" 

They stopped in front of the car. At least they weren't putting him inside, but the officers were still trying to get through to him in spite of his tears. They both looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to calm down. Probably, neither of them worked with children very often, but they were patient nonetheless. 

"I don't... I'm not allowed to see my mum, 'cause she's in trouble, and my aunt is _awful_ ," Eggsy wailed. "I don't want to go back, she's mean and there's nothing to do and I don't have any friends with her, 'cause she's on the other side of the city. I just want to go _home_ , but my aunt says I _can't_ , and I want my friends." Both of the officers were looking at him strangely, which just made Eggsy feel worse.

"Okay, we'll figure this out, and then we're going to get you home. C'mere." The officer turned Eggsy around to unlatch the cuffs, but he still kept a good grip on the boy. The other one opened the car door. "In the meantime you're going to come with us until we can get this sorted out." Eggsy was helped along into the back seat and he found that once closed, the doors locked automatically while the two officers climbed into the front. "What's your name, kid?"

"Eggs-... um." Part of the boy remembered that that wasn't his real name, the name that would be on paperwork. "Gary, I guess. Unwin. Please don't send me back to my aunt, she _hates_ me, she was trying to get rid of me to some foster thing. My mum's name is Michelle." 

Eggsy was no longer cuffed, but he was still afraid. The back of the squad car had stains in it, and the doors were locked, and once the engine started they began rolling away from Harry's house. Eggsy watched it grow smaller and finally leave his sight with a panicked feeling. "Do I get to call someone? Isn't that in the rules?"

He caught the officer's gaze in the mirror. "Yeah, that's the rules," he sounded somewhat amused. "You can call someone when we get back to the station. You're not under arrest or anything; we're just gonna help you get back to wherever you need to be." The other one got onto the radio and began communicating their situation to dispatch. As soon as he gave them Eggsy's name though, the station informed them that there was a search out for the boy all the way over in Stanton and confirmed that they were to return at once. 

"Sounds like that aunt's been looking for you," the younger officer said to fill the silence. 

Eggsy slumped in on himself. He didn't want to go back with his Aunt Susan, not with how she was and what she wanted to do with him. She didn't want him, or really even care about him. She just wanted to get rid of him so he wasn't her responsibility anymore.

Eggsy pulled out his cell phone, since the officers hadn't taken it from him. He tried calling Harry's number, but the display flashed an error again. Harry must still have been out of the country. Eggsy couldn't think of any other reason his number wouldn't connect unless he was travelling and too far away, or his phone was turned off on a plane.

The boy slid sideways and laid spread out against the back seat of the squad car. The movement caused his pendant to slide against his chest, and Eggsy dug it out. On the back was an engraved series of numbers. All Eggsy remembered was that he was only supposed to use it in an emergency, and the passcode he was supposed to say. His heart sped up in his chest. He didn't know if his current situation was a true emergency, but it certainly felt like it.

He could barely remember the man who'd given it to him years ago, just warm brown eyes, the sharp lines of a suit...a now familiar smile. He knew it had been Harry. Thinking back was like seeing fragments of motion, but even then Harry had seemed calm, steady, warm, his presence comforting to Eggsy if not to his mother. It was hard to say whether the number would still connect nearly three years later, but Harry had told him he could rely on it. 

The car lurched and they were engulfed in the dull lighting of an underground parking lot, turning and turning until the car came to a stop. 

"We're here," the first officer announced, taking a look back at Eggsy. "Come on, up with you now."

Eggsy stuffed his phone back into his pocket and waited for the door to open. The second officer took him out by the arm, but not unkindly. Neither of them were expecting trouble, and Eggsy didn't give them any. He was taken past the front desk to a chair in the back, beside the desk of a third officer who looked bewildered to see such a young child. Eggsy scrubbed the back of his hand across his face again, drying his tears. "Can I... use the phone, please?"

"Sure you can. But we're going to call your aunt and your mum as well," the older officer told him while the man at the desk motioned to the corner where a phone was set into the wall for visitor use. Another officer walked into the room, a woman this time, and pulled aside the man who'd been leading Eggsy. She spoke in hushed tones, but Eggsy could tell she was informing him of the situation they'd received from Stanton. 

The man at the desk, though slightly bewildered still, put on a friendlier expression than the others had. "Go on, you can call whoever you like. It'll probably be a bit of a wait, besides."

Eggsy watched them all with a degree of wariness. He walked towards the corner phone, but it was another minute or two before he picked it up. The other officers were whispering and looking at him, and he didn't like it.

The boy fished his medallion out from underneath his shirt, turned it around and punched the number into the phone. After a few rings, he was thrown off guard by the pleasant feminine voice that answered on the other end of the line, but managed to stammer out "oxfords, not brogues". To his dismay, the line seemed to go dead afterwards.

The officer who'd brought him in came up, looking slightly friendlier than he had before. He frowned at the phone in Eggsy's hand and the look on the boy's face. "We're gonna hand you over to these fine lads now, and you can stay here while they sort everything out. Your aunt's being called, as well as the authorities appointed to your welfare case. They'll do what's best." He gave Eggsy a pat on the shoulder and then turned to go with his partner, leaving Eggsy alone with the station attendants. 

The woman gave him a kind smile. "We'll let you know when we've reached your aunt. I heard you said you didn't want to stay with her anymore, and maybe that's why you ran away?"

"She doesn't like me, and she wants to get rid of me." Eggsy shifted in his seat, uneasy and now even more worried than before. The number on his medallion was supposed to do something, but whoever was on the other side had just hung up on him. For all the boy knew, he was now on his own. "She told me not to look at the mail, but I did, and she had a letter from someone, where she was trying to give me up. She's not even my real mum! My mum's nice, but in trouble because her boyfriend is a jerk."

"Considering the circumstances, we've called your mum, too. She knows where you are, but...while the court order still stands, we can't place you back with her." The officer leaned against the desk and Eggsy could see she was trying to relax, but it was just as clear what news she had to give troubled her. "Your aunt isn't required to take custody of you... If things haven't been working out, and it'll depend on what your case worker thinks, but it might be best for you to be with another family member, or someone who's prepared to take care of you." 

"I don't have any other family." Tears threatened to spill over again, and Eggsy felt shamed as well as afraid. He was supposed to be tougher than this. Boys weren't supposed to cry, not unless they were babies, and he wasn't a baby. He just couldn't bear the thought of being given to some stranger he didn't know. "My dad died in the service, my grandparents are gone. It's just my mum and my aunt."

Eggsy's thoughts drifted again to Harry. The policewoman had said he had to be with family or someone who'd take care of him. If Harry could come back from his work trip, maybe he could convince his friend to take him.

The officer frowned at that. She looked genuinely sad for him. She placed her hand on his arm, not very unlike the officer who'd brought him in, just a little more gentle. "We'll work something out. It'll be better than you think." 

But there was no way she could know that. Eggsy's options right now were pretty clear. Susan might take him for another night, but she was planning on placing him somewhere else _tomorrow_ , and Harry wasn't here. If only he had more time, or knew when Harry was coming back. There was no telling if they would make him stay with some foster family once he'd been placed, even if Harry was willing to take him for a while. Eggsy had no idea how these things worked. 

Across from them, the station's phone rang, breaking the silence and the other officer picked it up. He glanced at Eggsy before confirming something on the phone, and if Eggsy wasn't mistaken, he looked a little flustered. 

The woman he'd been speaking to pulled him away from the desk. "Why don't you settle in for a while? You can have something to eat if you'd like; we've got some snacks. It won't be long before your aunt and your case worker get here."

Eggsy nodded. He wasn't thrilled, but he was pretty much always hungry nowadays. Even if the station didn't have much, it was better than just waiting for something horrible to happen. The policewoman gave him another smile and walked away from her desk for a moment, returning with a packet of crisps and a soda. Eggsy broke into them, not tasting much aside from the tang of salt and the syrupy sweetness. His legs kicked from where they dangled off of the ground. He wondered what his aunt was going to say once she got to the station. _If_ she was even going to come. For all Eggsy knew, she might leave him here and send some new person to come get him once she'd placed him with someone else.

Before they got back to work, the other officer went over to her and whispered something too quiet for Eggsy to hear. Her brows knit and she looked at him, but nodded and sent him back to his desk. A minute later, she rose. 

"Gary?" she asked the boy tentatively. "This is a little odd, but we've received word that you're going to meet with your aunt and case worker tomorrow. Someone's coming to pick you up in the meantime."

"Oh?" Eggsy fidgeted. With him not allowed to see his mother, and Harry not answering his phone, Eggsy had a rough time imagining who might be coming to pick him up. Unless it was someone with the foster care system. The boy stared at his feet, dejected and nibbling on crisps, wondering what was going to become of him. Nothing he'd heard of the foster care system sounded nice. He couldn't imaging they'd let him see his old friends, either.

The woman took in his dejected slouch and looked at a loss to help. She looked like she wanted to reassure him, but all she could do was offer him another poorly executed smile. She didn't know anything more than he did, apparently. 

Eggsy sat there for the next thirty minutes with officers coming and going, the two manning this section of the station taking calls and sending assistants out on errands. Eggsy could see through the window of the waiting room that the rest of the station wasn't too busy tonight, just a low key kind of bustle that seemed ingrained into its work flow. It wasn't very comfortable though. The lighting was a little too harsh. The furniture was a little too old and too hard. 

But after all that time of waiting and no further calls for Eggsy, just when he was starting to wonder if they'd forgotten about him, there came a bustling down the hallway. Swift footsteps and voices echoed through the wall, sending Eggsy's heart racing as it became clear they were headed his way. And then the door opened and there stood Harry Hart, one hand stiff on the handle, pulled up to his full height and dressed in all his finery, carrying more presence with him than any of the other men in the room combined. 

Eggsy slid off of his chair, ignoring the officers and racing over to his friend. His arms wrapped around Harry's waist and he refused to be persuaded to let go, no matter how the officers bid him to return back to his seat. To a certain degree Eggsy was afraid to let go; he worried that Harry might vanish if he did. The fine wool under his hands felt exactly like he remembered and carried a faint warm scent underneath. All of it was Harry. All of it was familiar, and moreover, all of it was firmly associated with safety in Eggsy’s mind.

Warm arms engulfed him, the soft press of leather gloves ghosted over his hair, and then Harry was sinking, coming down to Eggsy's level until he could look the boy in the eyes. 

"Eggsy," Harry smiled. It was the first real smile Eggsy had seen in weeks. Harry's soft brown eyes were full of warmth and relief, like he'd been waiting for this moment, too. "I heard you'd gotten into a spot of trouble." 

The officers finally quieted down, realising this strange man who'd come for Gary wasn't bothered.   
"Y-yeah, I..." Eggsy flushed with embarrassment, but he wasn't ashamed of what he'd done. He'd do it all over again. Anything seemed better than staying another moment with his aunt. "I ran away. 'Cause I can't stay with my mum, because of the lawyers, but my aunt is _awful_ and she wants to give me away, and she didn't want me to know about it, but I found the letter. I just didn't want to stay anymore, but my phone wasn't working, so I came to find you but you were gone and the Met found me instead."

That said, Eggsy's shoulders slumped. He felt like all the energy had gone out of him, all of his worries suddenly dissipated now that Harry was there. "Can...can I..." Eggsy swallowed, his gaze flickering sideways for a moment towards the officers who were watching the exchange. "Can I come stay with you? Please? I don't want to go back to my aunt's house, she doesn't want me and I don't want her either."

Harry's warmth didn't diminish. He gave only a sigh of relief and his smile even widened. "My dear boy, that is exactly why I've come to pick you up. I got the call as I was getting off the plane. The police told me what happened to your mother. And Dean." Harry's tone dropped at that and he rose back to his feet, but didn't let go of Eggsy. "And I'll thank you, officers, for taking care of Gary until I could arrive." 

"Certainly, Mr..." the woman trailed off. 

"Hart. Harry Hart, and I'd be happy to sign for Gary and we'll be on our way." 

"Of course." She looked a little more alleviated at that and led them back into the hall. Harry kept his arm tight around Eggsy's shoulders until she handed him the sign out list and he scrawled his signature across the bottom. This didn't seem particularly normal, that the case worker or whoever had called hadn't given the police Harry's name, but for some reason they were going along with it anyway. 

Harry thanked her again and seemed perfectly at ease doing so. It struck Eggsy that he was perhaps the only person Eggsy knew who looked comfortable in a police station. "Do you have all your things?"

"I don't have much. A lot of my clothes and stuff are still at home 'cause Aunt Susan thought she wouldn't have me too long, but some are at her place. I just got this." Eggsy lifted his backpack slightly. Almost all of his recent belongings were inside. Harry's smile didn't waver, and Eggsy felt another piece of tension melt away. The older man would figure things out. Maybe he'd even buy him new clothes to replace the threadbare articles scattered between two flats. "Do I have to go back to my new school? Aunt Sue made me switch schools but I hate it."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's back to the old one for you. Let's get out of here. We can ask Susan to bring the rest of your things tomorrow." Harry took hold of Eggsy's hand and led him out of the police station. It was like parting the sea, passing officers without a second glance who would have stopped Eggsy in his tracks if he'd tried to leave by himself. Harry's presence was like magic. 

They found his car parked on the street and Harry let Eggsy inside, welcoming and familiar, and shut out the cold once Harry climbed in on the other side. Harry took off his gloves and looked at Eggsy, simply taking him in with such a soft smile on his face. He reached out and stroked his fingers over the back of Eggsy's neck, nestling them there like he didn't want to let go. 

"I'm glad you're safe," Harry offered quietly. 

Eggsy scooted closer. He felt cold all over, enough that he was shivering, but it had nothing to do with the temperature outside or the station he'd just been in. The car was warm, but this chill went down to his bones. Eggsy reached across the divider and embraced Harry again as much as he could, still not quite believing the man was solid underneath his fingers. "I got so scared, I thought something happened and I weren't ever gonna see you again, or mum, or any of my friends. That my aunt was just gonna hand me off to someone and I'd disappear. I tried calling you but my phone didn't work, just said it couldn't get your number."

After a beat, Eggsy gave a laugh that was almost a hiccup. "I went to go wait outside your house but I think your neighbors called the bobbies on me."

Harry scowled. "I'll have to have a word with them about that. I intend for you to stay at my house for as long as you need to." He shifted and pulled out his phone, checking its history. "You probably called while I was in the air. It was quite a long flight." He set it down and hugged Eggsy closer, gathering him against himself. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there." 

Eggsy felt the soft press of a kiss to the crown of his forehead and Harry's cheek resting against this temple. He could feel it when Harry breathed in, like he was drinking in their closeness before Harry pulled back. 

"What do you say we go home? Somewhere you can stay." 

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that." Eggsy moved back into his seat to let Harry take the car out of park and start to drive. They weren't even away from the police station yet and he already felt much better. It was only then that Eggsy realized how empty his stomach felt that had nothing to do with his earlier fear. "Can... we get something to eat, too? I got some crisps at the station but that doesn't do much."

After a second, Eggsy's thoughts caught on another question. "...do you have a bed at your place? My aunt made me sleep on the couch. Not one of the couches that turns into a bed, just a regular one, and it wasn't comfy at all."

Harry laughed. "Eggsy, I have a whole guest room. But I suppose you haven't seen the upstairs when you were over, did you?" He glanced at Eggsy while they drove and there was something in the look Harry gave him, something warm but different than the kind of warmth Harry'd had before. Something almost heated. But he turned back to the road and his smile never faltered. "I'll throw something together when we get home. I haven't eaten in quite a while, myself." 

And with that, Harry drove on. 

Eggsy let himself drift, lulled by the warmth and the hum of the car engine, and the security of knowing Harry was at his side. The chill imparted by shock was slow to dissipate, but even so, Eggsy almost fell asleep before they arrived back at Harry's house. The car rolled to a stop and Eggsy felt a gentle hand on his arm rousing him from his dazed state, and he turned into the touch automatically. Harry gave him another smile, a hint of embers just visible and smouldering in the earthen color of his eyes, and then he squeezed the boy's arm and opened the car door. They got out and walked to the door together.

It felt like coming home.

Harry led Eggsy with just a touch and Eggsy followed, shrugging his backpack off his shoulder and setting it beside the table in the entry, taking off his shoes and pushing them into their familiar spot beside the door. Harry shed his coat and jacket, setting the former onto its hanger and the latter over his arm. He clucked at the lack of Eggsy's. "We'll have to get you a proper coat soon. You'll freeze solid at the first snowfall. Whether or not you're back with your mother before then," Harry amended before leading Eggsy into the kitchen, turning on lights as he went. 

"Coats are expensive." Eggsy yawned and trailed after Harry, smiling as Mr. Pickle tapped his way into the kitchen and began to follow the boy like a furry shadow. Harry was busying himself with the stove, checking the fridge and cupboards. Eggsy climbed into a nearby chair to watch. It felt like forever since he'd seen Harry, and even with Mr. Pickle trying to demand his attention, Eggsy found he couldn't tear his eyes away. "Mum has trouble finding ones at the secondhand store that we can afford that fit me. It's not that bad if I wear a few layers and don't wait too long for the bus."

"Well, we can spare the funds." Harry shot a small smile Eggsy's way before he fished out half a tray of lasagne and put it in the oven. He turned back to Eggsy and drew up to lean against the door frame, very close, closer than Harry often came when they'd spent time together that wasn't on the couch or something like that. "Ten minutes and dinner will be ready." Harry wouldn't stop looking at him. Like he'd missed Eggsy just as much even though he'd had no idea what Eggsy had been through. "You've put up a brave front through all this, I must say," Harry offered quietly. 

Eggsy's lower lip quivered. Harry was so close, just like he wanted - just like the fantasies he'd had at night, curled up in his bed when he was listening to his mother cry in the other room, or draped across the uncomfortable couch in a flat that felt like a prison. Harry had come to his rescue, plucked him right out of a police station and stolen him away from the aunt he disliked, and done it all while looking...

Eggsy swallowed. He tried to stop himself, but he couldn't manage to keep himself from looking. Harry's clothing was expertly tailored, just as one might expect for someone who worked at a bespoke tailor shop, everything fine and soft-looking and hugging the outline of his body. It begged to be touched, and Eggsy's hands clenched because he didn't dare. Even looking was too much, and Eggsy flushed with shame as he realized Harry was looking back, that Harry had to _know_ why Eggsy was looking... but Harry might not send him away for something so small. A touch, however, might shatter everything.

Just when he forced himself to look away, he felt something brush against his cheek. When Eggsy looked back, there was Harry, who'd closed the distance between them, bent down on one knee to bring him to Eggsy's height, staring into Eggsy's face like he could read the boy as well as if he'd had lines printed across his forehead. Harry's other hand reached up until he had one on either side of Eggsy's face. And then Harry smiled. The fingers at Eggsy's temple brushed lightly against his hair. Harry leaned in. Eggsy nearly stopped breathing. But then Harry lifted his chin and pressed a kiss to Eggsy's temple before he brought the boy into his arms, holding him tight and sighing softly. 

Eggsy's heart wouldn't stop racing. He felt certain Harry must be able to feel it, fluttering like a bird whose cage had just been shaken. This wasn't what he'd wanted - Eggsy wasn't certain what he wanted, exactly - but this was good too. This was close, so much closer than before, and safe, and Eggsy wanted this too. He reciprocated Harry's embrace, and part of him noted just how different they were: Harry felt so big, and full of hard muscle, and Harry didn't struggle at all to enfold Eggsy smaller, softer body in his arms.

He felt a breath of air against his neck before Harry spoke. "I'm sorry. You just looked so alone for a moment. And I've missed you, Eggsy." Harry pulled back again. His hands didn't move and Eggsy's blush didn't fade. Harry had to see it. He looked at Eggsy like that, embers of heat warming in his gaze until a beeping sounded from the stove behind him. 

Harry's eyes closed. "Dinner's ready." He rose to his feet and brushed Eggsy's cheek when he dropped his hands. "Let's get some plates."

Eggsy felt the loss of contact like a shock. The warmth where Harry's body had been tucked around him quickly cooled, until the boy was only left with the memory. It took a couple of seconds before Eggsy slid off the chair and went to the cupboard to help with setting the table. The flush of color didn't leave his cheeks, nor did his thoughts turn away. If anything, they left him with more questions.

Eggsy had known he was getting a crush on his older friend. It hadn't even seemed strange. Other kids at school had gotten crushes on one teacher or another plenty of times. The difference here was that those had been silly things, harmless because of the distance. All the kids had known their crushes would amount to nothing. Teachers were untouchable, but Harry... was right there, and also gay, and someone Eggsy knew and liked, not some figment of his imagination wearing an attractive face taken from real life.

What Eggsy hadn't been expecting was how strong his feelings had grown. The urge to do something, _say_ something, was overwhelming, and now the boy had a whole other set of worries. He worried about ruining it all and losing his friend because he couldn't make his feelings go away.

Harry took out the pan while Eggsy got the plates and silverware, then Harry dished out a portion for each of them and found some juice in the fridge, forgoing the wine tonight. Eggsy didn't miss the way Harry smiled at him as they carried their meal back to the table, even if Eggsy was trying not to look too closely at the man. 

They tucked in and Harry let the silence settle between them. He seemed to be comfortable with it, perhaps even assumed Eggsy needed it, to relax and not think about everything that had happened to lead him here, or what tomorrow would bring. 

Eggsy ate and tried to counsel himself in silence. He told himself that everything was going to be fine. Harry would figure out what to do about the trouble his mother was in. Things would go back to normal, maybe even better than normal, and then maybe over time his crush would go away and wouldn't ruin everything.

Except Eggsy didn't know if he wanted everything to go completely back to normal, because that meant lying to Michelle again, and having to sneak around in order to spend time with Harry. Dean might go away, possibly to jail, but there was no guarantee that someone just as unpleasant and dangerous wouldn't take his place.

And Eggsy didn't know if he wanted his crush to go away. He ate slowly, picking his way through layered noodles and sauce and cheese, wondering what it might be like if things weren't so impossible. What it would be like if Harry kissed him on the lips, instead of his temple, and he was able to feel Harry's arms around him all the time. What it might be like to sleep on the same bed together, instead of just watching movies while sitting next to each other on the sofa, and if that would mean fewer bad dreams.

Eggsy’s thoughts drifted to other things, fantasies he'd had in private, now changing out the vague features of his partner in those daydreams with Harry's face. He nearly choked on his bite of lasagna, but the rush of heat through him confirmed what he'd suspected and feared: his crush was worse now than it had ever been before.

"Alright there, Eggsy?" Harry asked from across the table, and if Eggsy wasn't completely mistaken, there was a wry smile at the corner of his mouth. He felt Harry's foot brush against his under the table. Just to make sure he had Eggsy's attention. Surely. Harry sank his fork into another steaming slice of noodles and cheese and brought it to his mouth. Eggsy got the sense the man knew he was being watched, but it didn't...seem to bother Harry. He looked anything but self-conscious as he chewed slowly, savouring the meal. 

"Yeah, I just... um, I swallowed wrong, is all." Eggsy reached for his glass, drinking to go along with the excuse. Now that he'd thought of something _more_ than just how much he liked his friend, how attractive he was... Eggsy found he couldn't stop that particular train of thought. The boy tried to keep his eyes down on his plate, sneaking glances every once in a while, but he was remembering all the times he'd seen Harry in tailored clothing.

It still left quite a lot to the imagination, but between how well Harry's clothing fit him and what Eggsy remembered from his mother's old magazines and the book Harry had bought him, Eggsy's mind did its best to fill in the gaps.

"Um... Harry?" The boy's voice didn't stay quite as level as he'd wanted, but there was no helping that. Harry glanced up and Eggsy nearly lost his nerve. "Can I... use your shower, before bed? I, um... was hiding in the dirt in someone's garden when I got snagged, so... It'd just be nice to wash off a bit."

Harry's smile widened. "Of course. Shower's on the second floor bathroom. I'll show you where everything is. I don't suppose I have any pajamas that would fit you, but maybe we can find something to improvise with." Crinkles formed at the edges of Harry's eyes and he didn't look at all put-upon. He drained the rest of his glass and put down his fork, plate clean. "I suppose you'll be missing another day of school tomorrow since we have to go to the court house and I'd like to transfer you back here, regardless. Don't get too comfortable with your vacation." There was definitely a note of teasing in that last bit.

Eggsy groaned, but it was good natured. "I know, I know. I gotta go back eventually. I just don't wanna think about it _now_ , ok?" The boy was convinced that a few days off wouldn't make much difference. He would have been too upset to have paid attention in class anyways, thinking about his mother and his home life and what was to become of him. "Just... show me the shower, and where I'm gonna be sleeping, and I'll worry about everything tomorrow."

Harry laughed and rose from the table. "Let me clear this, then. Grab your backpack and we'll go upstairs." He took their empty plates back to the sink and washed up quickly, putting them away in the dishwasher while Eggsy found his few belongings. He found Harry wiping his hands with a towel and waiting for him in the hall before the man reached out and touched his shoulder, again leading him along. This time up the staircase, where Eggsy had never been before. It was laid out much like the floor below, Eggsy found, but the rooms here were divided. One was clearly the bathroom, and three others, all dark. "Your room will be through here." Harry moved to turn on the light inside the first, beckoning Eggsy in with him. With the light on, Eggsy saw that it was indeed a guest room, picture perfect in shades of blue and cream and a bed bigger than one Eggsy had ever slept on. A cherry stained dresser and tables adorned the rest of the room, along with curtains to match the bedspread.

"You can put your things in the dresser if you like. Make yourself at home." Harry was smiling down at Eggsy when he looked up at the man. 

Eggsy inexplicably felt shy all over again. There was no reason for it; Harry had never been anything but welcoming and supportive, and the older man knew nothing about his feelings, but Eggsy still felt overwhelmed. Staying with Harry felt like being treated to a luxury suite. "Thanks. I hope you don't, um, mind me staying. I just, it'll be nice to have a bed again." The more Harry's gaze lingered on him, the more self-conscious and awkward Eggsy felt. He kept remembering the moment when he'd though Harry was going to kiss him for real, only to have that thwarted.

Harry's hand brushed down his shoulder. "I don't mind at all, Eggsy." And Harry said it with such assuredness that it was hard to think that there could be a catch to that kind of certainty. "Put your bag down and I'll show you the rest." 

Eggsy did as he was told before Harry's hand led him back into the hall. "Here's the den, where I work on occasion." Eggsy caught a glimpse of a high window in the back, possibly even a balcony, and curiously, what looked like neatly arranged newspaper pages lining the walls before Harry moved on to a door at the other side of the hall. "This is my bedroom. You can knock whenever you need me. Don't be shy," he added with a half smile as he pushed back the door and turned on the light. It resembled the guest room surprisingly well, only slightly larger and slightly less tidy, swathed in shades of green and dark, rich furniture. "Come, let's see if we can find you some pajamas...." Harry went to the long dresser and rummaged through a few drawers. 

Eggsy followed slowly, more than a bit wide-eyed. There was nothing scandalous to see, but there was still something about being invited into someone else's bedroom. Eggsy looked everywhere searching for anything that struck him as particular to his friend's personality, but it looked like any other bedroom. Generic, even, as if Harry wasn't home often enough for it to take on a personal character beyond the slight mess.

A low hum caught the boy's attention, and when he turned Harry was holding up a pair of satin striped pyjamas. They still looked far, far too big for him, but the bottoms had drawstrings, which was enough to ensure that they wouldn't slide off at the least.

"This might do. The shirt will be very large indeed, but you can roll up the legs." Harry offered them to Eggsy and didn't look like he was going to take no for an answer, brushing his free hand against Eggsy's back as he took them. They were every bit as soft and as smooth as they looked. Harry's eyes sparked as he watched Eggsy run a hand over them, and the man was giving him that half smile again before Harry turned and led Eggsy back out to the hall. 

"And here you'll find the bathroom. Towels are in this cabinet, put them in the hamper when you're done. I believe I might even have....ah yes, an extra toothbrush." Harry plucked an unopened package out of the cupboard and laid it on the sink. "Toothpaste and soap you'll find there as well. Hot water and cold water," Harry indicated the handles, "Shampoo and conditioner. And anything else I've forgotten, you need only ask." 

"Alright." Harry lingered for a moment longer than necessary, sparking all sorts of confused thoughts in Eggsy's mind, but then he gave one last smile and retreated, pulling the bathroom door shut behind him. Eggsy carded a hand through his hair, wondering if Harry really had been touching him more than usual or if that was just wishful thinking on his part. It was difficult to remember, more so because of how long it had been since he'd seen his friend and how he could remember Harry touching him before.

Eggsy took a deep breath, and his shoulders slumped as he let it all out. Only moments later he was pulling his clothing off and dumping it all on the floor. Goosebumps rose on his skin, but the chill wouldn't be for long. Eggsy bent over the edge of the tub and worked the faucets like Harry had indicated, and soon enough he was stepping under a warm spray of water.

Across the hall, Harry gave up all pretence of composure and scrambled into the den, twisting the door shut behind him and vaulting himself behind the desk. He unlocked the computer with a few strokes of the keys and waited for it to come to life. As soon as it did, he got a perfect, wide angle view from inside his own bathroom, nestled into the corner of the wall, omniscient and unseen, and there at the very centre of it, was Eggsy, stark naked, head tipped back, mouth open, reddened with the heat, and eyes shut against the pleasure of the hot water running over his face and shoulders. 

Harry sighed, swallowed, and leaned forward to watch. 

For Eggsy, Dinner had been torture. Unable to chase the thoughts from his head and not helped by how close Harry had been, or the small touches that just made him more aware of their lack, Eggsy's body was in overdrive. He buried his fingers in his hair and bit his lower lip, feeling guilty for just a moment about lusting after his friend, but no longer than that. Harry would never know.

Eggsy peeked at the bathroom door around the edge of the curtain, making sure it was closed and listening for any signs of creaking floorboards that might betray a presence outside the room. When the coast looked clear, the boy didn't bother holding back. His fingers wrapped around the small cock protruding stiff between his legs and his eyes fluttered closed.

One room over, Harry let out a shuddering breath. Quickly, he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, shoving one hand in and wrapping it around his own cock with a quiet whimper as he watched Eggsy stroke himself. 

Harry had been worked up for so long now. Sometime around the car ride was when the feeling began to consume him, stirring low in his gut every time he looked over and saw Eggsy's adoringly clear eyes taking him in. Eggsy looked at him like Harry was his world. Like the only thing that _mattered_ in the world was Harry. Like Harry was his last saving grace, and indeed Harry knew he was. It didn't diminish the appeal. It _heightened_ Harry's arousal. He'd saved this boy. This beautiful boy whose body was arching into the water, into his fingers as they stroked over his short length, who had one small hand pressed to the side of the shower, holding him up. Eggsy had his feet braced against either side so he wouldn't slip. Harry's shower wasn't small and the stance was wider on a child, giving him the perfect view of slim legs that weren't yet too coltish and an arse that looked so soft.... Harry groaned and closed his eyes for a brief moment, squeezing himself and nearly coming on the spot. He'd saved this boy. He'd put this boy in danger, had turned his life upside down and then plucked him out of it like the very hand of God. And knowing that was a rush so heady Harry could feel it down to his bones. 

Eggsy was still new to sexuality. His hand motions were explorative, rather than practiced. The boy licked his lips and turned his head, listening again to make sure no one was outside the bathroom door. He knew enough to know that taking too long was suspicious, but he didn't have a good way of telling how long he'd been in the shower. Time slipped away from him once he got lost in fantasy and sensation.

With only a slightly guilty expression, Eggsy closed his eyes again and leaned back against the tiles. It was easily enough to recall how Harry had looked earlier, soft and warm and focused. Easy enough to pretend that he'd stayed with him in the bathroom instead of merely showing him to the room and leaving. Eggsy had never been kissed, but he'd imagine it would feel soft. The fingertips of his free hand reached up to touch his mouth, and his other hand sped up.

A few seconds of that particular fantasy was all it took. Eggsy felt the muscles in his legs and abdomen tighten and a feeling of euphoria washed over him, parting his lips.

Harry's fingertips touched the screen, sliding over Eggsy's mouth. Harry felt his own mouth fall open in sympathy, his breath coming quick, his hand jerking even faster. He wanted to look at Eggsy that way forever. He could see the boy's lips _tremble_. He wanted that moment to last, before Eggsy even opened his eyes. Harry squeezed and jerked his hand harder, hips snapping forward, sliding in the seat and just barely managing to grab a tissue before he came, the height of his arousal so strong that it didn't lessen his euphoria even as he grit his teeth and held as still as his body would allow, almost shaking in his own hand. 

Harry came down gasping. He had to recover quickly. Faster than he would have liked. There was no telling what Eggsy would think if he came out of the shower to find Harry missing and the door to his office locked. 

Harry cleaned and straightened himself, allowing only time for a lingering glance to the monitors before he closed the feed and locked the computer to its screen saver. He cracked the door to the balcony open to clear his head and diminish the heat from his complexion.

Harry had a few minutes to work with. Eggsy was slow to dry off, likely taking the same amount of time to catch his breath and school his expression back into something neutral. The way he'd kept glancing at Harry for the duration of their dinner together left little doubt about what, or rather _who_ , he'd been thinking of. 

When the door to the bathroom creaked open, Eggsy was dressed in the pyjamas Harry had given him. As expected, they were far too large for his frame; the drawstring pants were baggy, he’d rolled the cuffs up several turns, and the top hung off his shoulders, giving more than a teasing peek at Eggsy’s collarbone.

Harry came to the doorway as though he'd simply been sitting inside, tidying up or working at the computer perhaps. "Ah, don't you look like a proper gentleman now? All you need is a smoking jacket and a pipe." Eggsy looked up at him from beneath a mop of wet hair and damp brows and Harry could see the colour rise back into his cheeks. Eggsy was a sight like that. The water seemed to soften him somehow and the silk hugged his shoulders and legs when he bent a knee, moulding to every part of him it hung from. "How do you feel?"

"Not like a gentleman." Eggsy looked down, then started rolling up his sleeves since he couldn't see his fingers. "Just tired, I suppose, but less dirty. And glad I don't have to go back to Aunt Sue's house. I don't have to, right?"

Insecurity struck again; Harry seemed powerful, and he'd gotten Eggsy out of the police station just fine, but Eggsy didn't know how the legal system really worked. For all he knew, his aunt might have the power to get him taken back and then dumped with a foster family.

"No, Eggsy, you don't have to. I'll make sure of that," Harry promised. He reached out to touch Eggsy's shoulder, comforting. The pajamas over Eggsy’s skin were softer than Harry had ever felt them. They shared a moment like that, with Harry's half smile and Eggsy's burgeoning trust showing in his eyes. "We ought to get you to bed, then," Harry finally said. "You can sleep in and we can go and work out the details. But whatever happens, if you can't go home with your mother, then you're staying with me." With a touch, Harry directed Eggsy to the guest room, turned on the bedside lamp, and drew back the covers for him. 

Eggsy scooted into the space left between the sheets, self-conscious all over again and averting his gaze, but not for long. Tucking the boy in required Harry to bend over him, and Eggsy drank in the sight. He got hopeful for a split second, but then Harry pulled the covers back up over him and smoothed the boy's hair back over his forehead. The gesture was familiar, but more parental than anything, and not what Eggsy had wanted. "Good. I don't want to go back to my aunt, or some strangers. Even if they're nice strangers. I mean, you were a stranger once too," he pointed out. "But I don't want to live with someone else."

Harry gave Eggsy a familiar half smile. "Good," he repeated after the boy. Harry lingered, he couldn't help it. "I'll see you in the morning, then. And if you need anything, anything at all, just come and knock." He watched Eggsy nod even as the boy's eyes drank him in. It felt just as intimate as Eggsy's small form felt beneath the thick blankets under Harry's hands. Reluctantly, Harry straightened and went to the door. "I'll leave this open just a crack." 

The lights clicked off, but a sliver of illumination remained, slipping through the crack in the door. Eggsy listened to Harry's footsteps retreat down the hall. He turned sideways and clutched at his pillow.

He was _here_. He was in Harry's _house_ , in his _pyjamas_. Even that was a novelty, just wearing something the other man had worn and trying to imagine how much bigger he was, whether he wore anything undernea-

Eggsy shut off that line of thinking, almost groaning as he felt a twitch of interest again. He wasn't going to survive if he kept thinking of his friend in that way. Harry was only interested in him as a friend, and anything else was just... wishful thinking, Eggsy knew. He wanted to keep that friendship, and if he wasn't allowed to go back home to his mother, there was no one he'd rather live with than his friend.

Eggsy settled down and tried not to think about what excuses he could come up with to go knocking on Harry's door, just to see.


	8. Chapter 8

When Eggsy awoke the next morning, it was to a warm swath of sunlight pouring in through the windows of an unfamiliar room. The unmistakable aroma of breakfast filtered through the air and distantly he could hear the sizzle of a frying pan from the floor below. He was in Harry's house. And Harry had woken early to make breakfast.   
Among other things. 

Eggsy stretched and rolled out of bed, padding across the floor on bare feet. The bathroom was his first brief pit stop, relieving himself and trying in vain to flatten down his sleep-mussed hair. Then he was descending the stairs into the kitchen, all too-long sleeves and pant legs, his top nearly hanging off of one shoulder.

Mr. Pickle was tucked close to Harry's leg, tail wagging furiously as he gazed upwards in hope of a dropped morsel. The smell of fried eggs and sausage filled the air, and when Eggsy got up on his tip-toes, he spotted tomatoes and mushrooms as well. "Mornin', 'arry." The boy scooted closer, encouraged by the way Harry turned and smiled at him - particularly the way he lingered for just a second. "I don't think anyone's ever done me a fry-up before. Not that I can remember, anyway."

"Is that so?" Harry asked, raising a brow. "I'll be happy to be your first." Harry let his smile widen, and before Eggsy could react Harry lifted a bowl over the boy's head. "Hand me a spatula, would you? In that drawer right there beside you, then come over here." 

It was difficult for Harry not to feel...cheerful this morning. He'd woken with the knowledge that just in the other room, fast asleep, was little Eggsy Unwin, the object of his fascination, his obsession, his.... He didn't rightly know how to define it in a word. There were none that fit, but whatever name it may choose to take, it sent his blood racing and had him out of bed without a moment's more longing for sleep. And now he wanted Eggsy to enjoy this morning. Not in part for his own selfish reasons, as the boy would have to be steadfast in his desire to stay with Harry in merely a few hours. 

Harry had known the boy would be tired and he took the opportunity to wrap up his work from home and inform Merlin and Arthur that he would be taking the rest of the day to himself. He then informed Merlin precisely why he was taking a personal day. Today was the day he'd been waiting for all week, and he would need to pull just a few more strings to see it work out in his favour. 

Eggsy dug around in the drawer Harry had indicated, locating the spatula in the midst of a number of tools he wouldn't have been able to name if he'd tried. Harry set the bowl on the countertop and Eggsy had to get up on the balls of his feet again, rolling his sleeves up as he looked. "What's this for? And how come you're up so early? Do you always get up this early?" Part of Eggsy hoped that Harry would say no. If he did, that meant it was special, that it was for him. Harry was one of the few people that _did_ do things just for him, and the boy was hungry for any signs he could get that he was special to Harry, and not just a regular friend.

"When I have work, I do." Harry took the spatula, but didn't let Eggsy move away. Instead, he trapped the boy with one arm holding the frying pan and the other over Eggsy's shoulder to hold the tool and when Eggsy was forced to look up at him, Harry simply smiled down. "Would you like to flip the eggs? Hold this." It was a little difficult for Eggsy to reach, but Harry slid his hand around the boy's and led the motion with a sure grip, scooping up and flipping the eggs while he dumped the bowl of mushrooms and tomatoes over the pan with the other hand. Eggsy still smelled like shampoo from the night before. Specifically, he smelled like _Harry's_ shampoo, and it was all the more tantalizing. 

Eggsy was, very suddenly, wide awake indeed. He didn't understand why, other than his friend's closeness and being trapped against his side, until his brain finished processing what it had fixed upon. Harry still had his hand draped atop Eggsy's own, the boy's palm wrapped around the spatula shaft, distributing the vegetables in the pan and flipping them over when one side was done. Eggsy's mind substituted something very different for the tool he was clutching and, abruptly, he went beet red - something that was happening with greater frequency as of late. "Am I? Um, work?"

Harry laughed as though the question were ridiculous. "Do I look as though I think this is work?" Harry bent to catch Eggsy's eye. "I'd at least have put on a tie." This was the most dressed down Eggsy had ever seen Harry, point in fact, with cotton pajamas and velvet loafers only peeking out beneath a full red robe. Its thickness did wonders for the way Harry could brush against Eggsy in this position, seemingly innocently and ever so lightly, without fear of distraction. When Harry set down the spatula, he squeezed Eggsy's shoulder. "And I'd be hard pressed to remember the last time I made anyone breakfast. So count yourself lucky and grab us some plates, yes?"

Eggsy's answering smile was radiant. For a split-second, the boy rocked closer just a little, but then he turned to walk towards the kitchen table. Eggsy lifted one of the chairs and brought it over, struggling to stand up on the seat with his too-long pyjama bottoms interfering, and finally managed to get of a height with the upper cabinets. Plates were retrieved and set down on the countertop, and Eggsy returned the borrowed chair to its original position.

Harry let the boy see him smile as he dished out steaming portions of egg and vegetables for each of them, followed by glasses of orange juice that he brought to the table. Harry slid into his chair and Eggsy followed with a familiarity Harry was pleased to note. He watched Eggsy dig into his plate without hesitation, like he hadn't gotten enough the night prior, and Harry couldn't help the way his attention lingered on Eggsy's mouth opening wide around his fork like that. Or the way the boy's eyes blinked, heavy with pleasure. 

"Did you sleep well last night?" Harry asked. 

"Yeah. I know it hasn't been all _that_ long, but I still felt like I'd forgotten what sleeping on a bed was like," Eggsy mumbled around a mouthful of egg. He took a bite of sausage afterwards, which was an odd sort of distraction, watching Eggsy's lips close around it only to bite off the end and ruin the fantasy. "It was more comfy than the one back home, too. Way bigger. The flat's not that big, so my room can only fit this skinny little thing. Barely fits _me_ on it."

Harry gave the boy an indulgent smile. "I think this one could fit quite a lot more than you." Eggsy looked like he was going to be swallowed up in it last night. He could have sunk right into the pillows and blankets, never to be seen again. Harry found the notion strangely endearing. He speared one of his own sausages and dipped it in syrup, vaguely wondering what Eggsy would taste like instead. Harry doubted he'd even need the syrup. "We'll be going in to meet with your aunt in a couple hours. I've also requested your mother be there. I know she's been denied custody of you, temporarily, but I believe this is something she should know about, nevertheless." When Eggsy looked up at him, Harry made sure the boy saw his sincerity. "She's not going to be happy, but...regardless, I'd rather she know you're somewhere safe."

Eggsy wasn't reassured. Immediately, the warm calm of the morning was pierced with an icy prickling of fear. Harry could see it light up the boy's eyes. His hand paused in the middle of spearing another bit of egg, the tines hovering just above his plate as Eggsy's train of thought ground to a halt and switched tracks. "But... she was so _angry_ , last time. She didn't even want me to see or talk to you again, what... wh-what if she says I have to go to some foster thing like Aunt Sue wants? Just because she doesn't like you?"

"Then I'll fight it. And I guarantee you that I'll win," Harry added with cold certainty. "There's no avoiding it. I would rather face her and risk her anger than have her find out from your aunt. Not that I doubt she will be any less angry. Still.... I'd rather speak face to face." Harry sipped his orange juice and watched Eggsy take it all in. The idea that he was going to see his mother only to be kept a distance still was probably jarring. As well as the likelihood that she would be incredibly upset about the whole thing. She would have no idea what had happened to her son in the nearly two weeks he'd been gone, only that he'd spent the time with Susan. 

Eggsy looked down at his plate. Everything still looked delicious, and he wasn't full yet... but suddenly, he was no longer hungry. He picked at his veggies, unhappy with the thought of how upset his mother was going to be and equally upset at the thought of having to go back to living with his aunt. Or with strangers. "I don't want her to be mad," Eggsy finally murmured. "But I don't want to go live with strangers. Or be stuck at that stupid school. Or sleep on a couch. I want to stay here with you until I can go home."

"And you will," Harry reassured. "She would be upset with Susan for trying to involve a foster home anyhow, but regardless of how either of them feel, this is the best place for you for the time being." Harry laid his fork beside his plate and fixed his gaze on Eggsy, on the boy's gloomy expression, his slumped shoulders, his bed-mussed hair. "We'll be through it soon enough. Just this last stretch. Whatever happens, I will not see you go somewhere that makes you unhappy."

A small bit of hope crept back into Eggsy's features. He wasn't going to enjoy the day, he knew - with the way his mother was going to get upset, it was guaranteed that he was going to feel guilty and sad about her distress - but Harry had always pulled through for him before. He'd kept his promises. He'd tackled hard topics and situations when Eggsy was feeling overwhelmed. He'd stayed supportive. Harry had even gotten him out of the police station without a fuss.

Eggsy gave Harry a smile that was fragile, but full of trust. "You promise?"

"Absolutely." Harry felt his own mouth curve in return. It _felt_ like a promise, in a way that Harry hadn't made promises in years, both of them leaning ever so slightly toward each other, Eggsy searching his eyes and offering his well-being up to Harry in doing so. Putting himself in Harry's hands. It felt wonderful. To take this boy's trust. To protect him. To make him Harry's _to_ protect. This was one of the first steps Eggsy would take to offer himself. Harry let his smile widen just a little more. "Now, finish your breakfast. You'll need it before the day is through."

Eggsy poked at the food on his plate, still worried, but he managed to get most of his remaining breakfast down. Harry's cooking was too good to pass up, still centered in his mind as a treat he didn't get to have very often. The impending fight with his mother - and it _was_ going to be a fight, Eggsy was sure of that - weighed heavily on his mind, but Harry's promise was wrapped like a blanket around him. Things were going to be alright. Whatever happened, it wasn't going to be one of Eggsy's worst fears. He wouldn't get sent away, and he would be able to see his mother again at some point. Maybe Harry would even help with that, to get his mother's name cleared and get the court to let him see her again.

Eggsy perked up at the thought. If anything would change his mother's mind about Harry, maybe that would.

They finished eating quietly. It was nice to see Eggsy coming around, Harry thought. The boy relaxed by degrees until Harry cleared their plates away. 

"Time to get ready, I believe." Harry patted Eggsy on the shoulder, enjoying the feel of the soft silk above equally soft skin. "And we'll make sure to get you another set of clothes before the day is through. Otherwise I'm going to be running the laundry more often than I care to." Hopefully Susan would remember the few items of clothing and other things she'd bought Eggsy during his stay with her. Michelle, he hadn't been able to ask, nor would she have offered even if he had. 

Eggsy ran back up the stairs to get dressed. He didn't mind so much about putting on the same clothes again, but for the fact that they were a bit dirt-stained from his adventures and he needed fresh underwear. Tolerating one more day wouldn't be that bad.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to wash his face and flatten down his hair, Eggsy surveyed the results in the mirror. It would have to do. He didn't have anything else to change into. Hopefully, whoever they'd have to talk to wouldn't decide that him looking a bit messy and dirty meant that Harry was worse for him than his aunt and her plans to ship him off somewhere else.

Harry's door was shut when Eggsy went back out into the hall. Faint sounds of movement came from within. 

Inside, Harry dressed in front of a standing mirror. His trousers were pressed and crisp, belt gleaming beneath the starched shirt he did up button after button before tucking it into his waistband. He watched his reflection with careful consideration, but as usual, Harry's attention lingered on Eggsy. Harry dressed for occasions. He dressed to fill roles. His tie was a broad brush stroke. His cuff links were flecks of paint, standing out in sharp detail. It all came together as though he were painting. Not a second skin, for it was very much him, but deliberate all the same. Eggsy would like it, he knew. And so would the court. 

Harry emerged and came down the stairs ten minutes later, as polished as Eggsy had ever seen him.   
Harry got the pleasure of watching the boy's eyes dilate. Eggsy thought he was being discreet, looking him over quickly. To someone whose work hinged on reading human behavior just as much as the words that were said and unsaid, Eggsy might as well have voiced his thoughts. His crush hadn't abated, and he didn't know how to act around Harry, who was becoming a surrogate father and mentor, a friend, and secretly something more than a friend in the back of the boy's mind.

Eggsy's tongue darted out to wet his lips, an automatic reflex that he wasn't even aware of. He smiled and walked closer. "Perks of being a tailor, huh? You get to dress however you want?"

Harry let the satisfaction show on his face, descending the few more steps. "Perhaps not 'however' I want, but yes. There are definitely perks and this is one of them." He stood before Eggsy and let the boy take him in, even if Eggsy was trying to pretend he wasn't going to. It was incredibly arousing, being looked at in such a way by such a boy as Eggsy. Eggsy wasn't even aware of how good he could look, himself. It wouldn't be long now, Harry knew. _Hoped._ If Harry had his way, Eggsy would notice himself in the mirror more often. He would imagine how he looked standing beside Harry. ...he would imagine how he might look under Harry's hands. Harry certainly did. 

Harry felt his smile curl and held one hand out to Eggsy, palm up. "Shall we be on our way?"

A smile split Eggsy's face, his worries momentarily forgotten. His fingers curled eagerly around Harry's. Right then, he just felt like he was off to have another adventure with his friend, not that he was about to face his aunt and mother while they argued about his future. "Yeah. Let's go."

Harry led the boy out to the car and they settled in. Traffic wasn't quite so bad near Kensington, but they had to drive all the way to Camden to reach the proper courthouse. Traffic increased the closer they got to the hub of council-run government services and clusters of businesses, all of which gave Eggsy more time to brood as he stared out the window.

Harry, by contrast, remained outwardly calm. Inwardly, he was ready to go into battle. He'd made a call to Merlin that morning, had made sure certain strings could be pulled if he needed them. He expected he would. If he didn't, it would be fortunate, but Harry intended to win. 

The courthouse was no more or less intimidating than many other ageing buildings in Eggsy's neighbourhood, but when Harry looked over at the boy after they'd parked, he looked paler than usual. Harry reached over and rested his palm over Eggsy's hand, getting the boy's attention. "I promise, remember?" Harry reminded him with a certainty only he could possess in this situation. 

Eggsy's worried expression didn't dissipate, but his hand turned to grab onto Harry's. They shared a moment of silence, and then Harry unlocked the doors and they both got out. Eggsy waited for Harry to come around to the other side of the car and they walked together towards the entrance.

Eggsy had no idea what a courtroom was supposed to look like, outside of what he'd seen in movies and dramatic shows on the telly. Reality was different, but no less intimidating for the lack of large vaulted ceilings, ornate lighting, and scowling adults in robes and uniforms. It looked like any other government building, complete with signs of wear that indicated budget cuts had resulted in skimps on maintenance and aesthetics. Eggsy looked at all the posted signs but couldn't make heads or tails of where they were supposed to go.

Harry led him instead to an office window and gave the receptionist their names and that of a judge Eggsy assumed he must have gotten from the police the night prior. Or perhaps that morning. The man gave Harry a form to fill out and then indicated the way down the hall. 

They were early, and they would probably have to wait to be heard, for the room was already in use when they found it. The attendant waiting beside the door motioned for them to have a seat at the benches lining the halls while they waited. Clerks and other members of the general public passed as they sat, Harry keeping Eggsy close all the while. Another couple took seats across from them with paperwork of their own, waiting for their own appointment probably. 

It was Susan who arrived first, her heels clicking down the hall, turning Eggsy's head at the familiar sound. She spotted him when he spotted her. She was dressed for court, her hair immaculate and her clothing tasteful, but she held a harried air about her as she looked between Eggsy and the strange, well dressed man beside him. 

Harry rose first and broke the silence, offering her his hand. "You must be Susan," he said pleasantly enough. 

She took it by reflex. "Yes. I. Who are you?"

"He's... a friend of my dad's," Eggsy piped up. He'd been about to say _his_ friend, but Eggsy knew from experience that adults didn't think his friendships were very important. Friendships between _adults_ mattered to them. "Helped me out before, when... um. Did mum tell you about Dean? That he hit her? Harry came and got me when she was in the hospital and talkin' to the police, so I wasn't out on the street all night."

Susan blinked at him. "Oh." She obviously hadn't been aware of Harry's existence, which was just as well for Harry. She looked like she was trying to think of something polite to say when another voice sounded behind them, this time from a woman Eggsy had never seen before. 

"Good morning, Susan," she said, her voice rich. She had on trousers and a grey blazer, tasteful and professional, with dark hair and a wide, expressive face. But most of all she seemed acquainted with the situation. "So I see we're almost all here. And you must be Eggsy." She smiled at him comfortably, someone who was used to working with kids, before her attention turned to Harry. "I don't believe we've met either. I'm Rhonda. I've been assigned to help with Gary's case through the local authority's office." 

"Ah, very good then. My name is Harry Hart. I was a friend of Eggsy's father before he died." Harry greeted her just as politely, shaking her hand as well. 

Eggsy watched the exchange with no small measure of wariness. He no longer trusted his aunt, after she'd tried to sneakily get rid of him without him knowing about it or having any say. He didn't know that he trusted this Rhonda either. She had the shallow smile that people often used around kids, and she'd called him Gary. Eggsy hated being called Gary, and he didn't like adults who patted him on the head and thought he was too young and stupid to understand things.

The boy finally got up from his seat and drew closer. He tucked his hand in Harry's and his mouth took on a stubborn line. Eggsy didn't care what his aunt Susan thought about anything anymore. Besides, being closer to Harry made him feel better.

Harry welcomed it, pulling Eggsy up to his side as though it were commonplace. Just then the high doors of the courtroom opened and the attendant called them forward. Michelle was still nowhere to be seen. 

Harry squeezed Eggsy's hand and with a courteous nod to the others, ushered them all inside. 

The room was...old. Perhaps it could have lived up to Eggsy's expectations once upon a time in its history, but age had dulled it. And so did the casual air of the attendants and clerks they'd seen so far. Even what must have been the judge, sitting at a much smaller and lower desk than Eggsy would have expected, an older woman with short hair, coloured a shade darker that the usual for her skin tone, ushered them forward with no large amount of gravity. 

She introduced herself as Judge Carol Longfellow and read off a short summation of what they would be considering that morning, namely, that one Mr. Harry Hart had proposed to the court's attention an alternative option for placement of one young Gary Unwin. To which Harry responded in the affirmative. 

"It came to my attention yesterday that Eggsy had been staying with his aunt for some time and that she had been having difficulty providing the care he needed, switching schools, living in household without a second bedroom, increasingly common arguments...." Susan looked somewhat ashamed at that, but not like she was about to argue. "When I inquired, they told me Susan was potentially seeking the help of a foster carer, one who would unfortunately be unknown to Eggsy as he has very little family left to rely on." Susan and Rhonda were both watching Harry now. Rhonda must have suspected what Harry's proposal was going to amount to, but her attention was rapt all the same. "Having worked with and been a friend of the boy's father, Lee Unwin, before he died three years ago, and having come to know Eggsy much better in recent months past, I would like to propose that he be allowed to stay with me until this business with his mother's custody is settled." 

Eggsy watched the procedure with wide eyes. He didn't know if he was allowed to speak or not. He didn't know if speaking up would ruin things. All he could do was cling to Harry's hand and take some comfort in sitting beside him.

Judge Longfellow's glasses slid a bit further down her nose as she prompted Rhonda to hand over the appropriate files. Silence fell as she glanced through what Rhonda had already seen: the application for a care order to assess and place Eggsy with another family or guardian, the restraint against returning him to his mother pending criminal investigations, charges, and a trial, and a short summary of monetary records and government assistance that had been received. "Certainly, it's preferable to place a child with a friend of the family or someone else the child knows, if no relative is able to provide suitable care. Are you familiar with the accompanying responsibilities and requirements, should this court decide to place Mr. Unwin in your care? The court will require that you submit your financial records and agree to a criminal background check. You must demonstrate that Mr. Unwin's education will not be disrupted. A care worker will be appointed to check on Mr. Unwin's status and well-being. If the care worker has concerns, this case may be reassessed and Mr. Unwin may be placed elsewhere."

Harry was just about to speak when the door behind them opened again and quick footsteps sounded down the short walk. Everyone turned to see a very startled Michelle, hair flying out behind her. Her eyes caught on her son first and Harry second, and the play of emotions over her face was just as visible as it was rapid. She went from brief relief to shock in fractions of a second. 

" _What_ is _he_ doing here?" Michelle couldn't help raising her voice, coming to stand before the judge, but keeping a good amount of space between herself and Harry. 

Harry simply raised his brows. "I invited you." 

The look of fury that came over her was instantaneous, but before she could speak up again, the judge interrupted her. "Mrs. Unwin, I presume?"

As Harry had hoped, Eggsy shrank in on himself as soon as Michelle entered the room and became visibly upset. The boy could be headstrong and bold, but not when it came to his mother - not yet. Eggsy's reaction didn't go unnoticed. Both Judge Longfellow and Rhonda glanced at the way his shoulders drooped and how he instinctively leaned closer to the man at his side. The very same man who was pressing for custody.

When Michelle confirmed her identity, the judge cleared her throat. "Mrs. Unwin, please have a seat over there. I have to remind you at this time that the restraining order is still in effect. I understand that this is an emotional situation, but you will still have to keep the minimum distance during these proceedings."

"I've got a right to have a say in this matter, don't I?" Michelle closed her mouth. Her hands shook, but she remained where she was. 

The judge leaned forward and fixed her with a stare. "Is there any reason you can give me why I should not allow your son to be placed with Mr. Hart?" Her tone was as serious as her face, and it was clear that she was well practised in heated confrontations. 

Michelle, however, was not. Her shock and her fury had nowhere to go, and she visibly stumbled over her words, trying to put into a few sentences just how she felt about accepting help from Harry Hart. 

"If I may," Harry cleared his throat. "I was the one who gave her the news when Lee died. Due to the circumstances of his death and the secrecy of the division within the government he worked for, I was unable to reveal to her the details. We have...never been on good terms since." 

Michelle's lip quivered. She looked like she was about to scream at Harry. 

"Mrs. Unwin, please, take a seat," the judge reiterated. That time, she went, slowly and with shoulders rigid before she sat down at the seats placed at the sides of the room.

The judge began by asking Susan about her experiences, the difficulties in suddenly having the responsibility for caring for Eggsy and the way he had to transfer to another school. Eggsy barely restrained himself from speaking up when the subject got to the fights they'd had, and her distress over the lack of space in a tiny one bedroom apartment, the way Eggsy would take over the bathroom or disappear outside against her will in order to gain a bit of privacy and a break from being in the den, which had doubled as a bedroom.

Judge Longfellow looked to Eggsy next, much to his surprise. He hadn't thought anyone was going to listen to what he thought about all of this. A spike of nervousness shot through him when their eyes met and his hand clenched around Harry's. Her stare was softer on him, but no less intimidating all the same. 

"Gary, I'd like to take your feelings into consideration as well,” she began slowly. “The goal of this hearing is to make sure you go to the best home possible. If we were to find a foster carer for you, we'd make sure it was someone you'd do well with. Someone you liked and who could take care of you. Since Mr. Hart has offered, I'd like to ask you--and keep in mind that you do not have to consider anyone's feelings when you answer; there is no right or wrong answer here--would you like to stay with Mr. Hart or would you like us to help you find a foster family to stay with?"

"I want to stay with Harry." Eggsy didn't hesitate in his answer. He didn't look at his mother, and his bottom lip quivered knowing that she disapproved, but he had to tell the truth. "I don't want to stay with strangers. I don't care if they might be nice, I know Harry, and he knew my dad, and he's helped me before."

Eggsy scrubbed the back of his hand across his face and looked at the judge. Michelle had made a small, choked noise from where she sat and Eggsy felt a pang of guilt.

The judge nodded slowly, dismissing him and turning back to Harry. "Very well then. I'm going to place a new care order on this case that Gary Unwin be placed with Mr. Harry Hart until the case against his mother, Michelle Unwin is resolved. If it is determined that Mr. Unwin should not be placed back within her care, we will hold a follow up hearing to determine further course of action. You may now be dismissed, but Mrs. Unwin," Judge Longfellow turned her cool stare on Eggsy's mother, "I should remind you that if you decide to take any action against Mr. Hart without the approval of the court, it will _severely_ hurt your case." 

The corner of Michelle's lip twitched. Eggsy had seen his mother in tears before, but he had never seen her on the brink of them quite like this. "Yes, your honour," she said quietly. 

Harry laid a hand against Eggsy's back, curving over his shoulder, and squeezed lightly. 

Eggsy _hurt_. He'd fought with his mother. Sometimes he even hated her - or at least felt like he did, temporarily, when she was strict and unfair and didn't try to listen and understand him. Whatever problems laid between them, though, she was still his mother, and he still loved her even when he was so angry and upset that he wanted to climb out the window and run away for a while. He felt like his mother's distress was his fault, even if it really wasn't. He didn't have any say in why he couldn't go back home, and he didn't understand why she hated Harry so much.

Eggsy wasn't choosing between Harry and home. It was a choice of Harry, or strangers. He didn't like that Michelle was hurt but, just as with her objections to his friends and his sexuality, he couldn't put her first if it meant hurting himself. Eggsy leaned closer until he was settled against Harry and just tried to breathe.

Harry held him fast as Michelle climbed slowly to her feet. Susan quietly thanked Rhonda and turned to leave. Rhonda looked like she was waiting for them, but Harry didn't draw Eggsy away as his mother approached. 

"I uhm... I can bring some of Eggsy's things by. Or have someone drop them off," Michelle offered quietly. The only good cheer that touched her face was when she looked down at Eggsy. "You be good, okay? And, please, call Susan or Rhonda if...if you need _anything_ , okay?" 

Eggsy nodded, tearing up. "Y-yeah, I will. I know I'm... I'm not supposed to call or see you or anything until stuff's figured out, but maybe you can have Aunt Sue call so I know how things are going? And when I get to see you again?" Eggsy didn't understand why he wasn't allowed a phone call. It seemed just as unfair as when Michelle had told him not to talk to Harry again, except with this, he knew that breaking the rule might mean even more legal trouble for his mother.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that." Michelle's face crumbled a little, seeing her son distressed as well. "We'll find a way. An' I'll see you soon, yeah?" The smile she gave Eggsy was touched with sadness, even when he nodded. Michelle glanced at Harry, but she turned away just as quickly. It didn't seem like she had the fortitude to speak to him. She looked like she was almost about to go then, but her feet wouldn't move. She glanced back to Eggsy and, in one swift motion, she bent down to fold him in her arms. "Love you, okay? Be safe," she whispered in his ear and held him tighter for a second before she let go and stepped back. 

"Come on, Michelle," Rhonda called behind them. 

Eggsy watched his mother turn and walk away. Harry placed a hand on his shoulder, steering him back out into the hallway. The courtroom was needed for the next case, and there was custody paperwork to be signed in the office down the hall.

The boy made it out the door and almost to the office before he stopped, turned, and buried his face against Harry's chest. He didn't want to cry. Boys weren't _supposed_ to cry, only babies cried, but everything was just so _hard_. Harry, at least, didn't chastise him for it or make any comment, just returned the embrace. Eggsy felt fingers card through his hair. The boy could smell Harry's cologne and the familiarity and warmth, along with the touch, was soothing enough for him to get control of himself. When he was ready, Harry turned him and they walked into the office together.

That process wasn't as lengthy as Eggsy expected it to be. The clerk gave Harry a few forms from the file they must have already put together for Eggsy's case, had him sign while Eggsy loitered in the background. Rhonda met with Harry briefly to exchange contact information and hand off the clothes and books Eggsy had left with Susan, but as soon as they were finished, Harry led Eggsy on their way out again.

"What do you say we pick up some pastries before we head back?" Harry asked as they got into the car. "I think we could both do with some cheering up."

Eggsy nodded. He didn't feel much like talking yet. Harry glanced at him, but seemed to understand. They pulled out onto the street in companionable silence.

The boy still felt a heaviness in his chest when they pulled up in front of a little pastry shop, but it was tempered. His mother would be able to see him again eventually, and she wouldn't be mad forever. He never had to go back with his aunt again, or to the school he didn't like. His rare nights with Harry wouldn't end too soon, but would happen _every_ night, and he'd get to sleep over too. Eggsy glanced over as Harry was turning the key to shut the engine off, and he reached to catch the man's sleeve. "Harry? Um... thank you. For letting me stay."

Harry blinked and relaxed back into his seat, looking back at Eggsy. "You're very welcome, Eggsy. I mean that. You're always welcome here with me." Harry caught the boy's hand and held it. His thumb ran across the underside of Eggsy's palm, so soft, the most delicate part. He could almost see Eggsy shiver. It was an intimate gesture, to be sure, but he felt the boy would understand. Harry watched Eggsy's pink lips part at the sensation, at their closeness, at the vulnerability he still felt so acutely. Harry would give him comfort, but...perhaps not the standard sort.

Eggsy blinked. It felt odd. A fluttery, heated feeling settled into him and he had no idea why. Harry's thumb had just tickled a little. "Well... good. Um, that's good. Considering I get to stay with you, innit?"

An embarrassed half-smile touched the boy's mouth as he heard and processed just how much he'd tripped over his own tongue, but Harry didn't seem to mind. Eggsy wondered if everyone like Harry was so tolerant, or if Harry was just special. Or maybe _he_ was a special exception. "I know we got some clothes from my aunt and all, but could we... maybe get some more? She didn't pick up much from my mum, and I don't have a lot of clean, um, pants."

Harry broke into a wide smile. His fingers clasped around Eggsy's before he let the boy have his hand back. "Well, you've certainly wound up in the right place for that, haven't you?" Eggsy's small brows drew together before his eyes widened fractionally. Harry could see the moment he caught on. Harry laughed, breaking the tension before Eggsy could have any doubts about being forced to dress up in pressed trousers and starched shirts every day. "I think there are a few shops that might fit your tastes just a couple streets down the way. I'd be happy to make an extra stop. Although...," Harry couldn't help the way his eyes lingered on the curve of Eggsy's neck and how he could envision the boy's ever present hoodie exchanged for something a little more...flattering. "I would like to get you back in the shop sometime. Every man should have at least one well made suit."

"That's really expensive, though." This, Eggsy noticed. Harry was staring at him and the boy's mind began to race along with his heart. He knew what he wanted it to mean, but it _couldn't_ mean that. Maybe he had a mark on his neck...

...except Harry didn't look concerned, or confused. He looked _interested_. Eggsy held his breath until Harry's gaze slid back to his face, then exhaled shakily. "Anyway, where'd I even wear somethin' like that? Not to school, and my mates wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

"Why, you'd wear it when you're out with me, of course." Harry knew his smile was curling a little too wide. "To dinner.... Another play, perhaps... There are plenty of occasions where the need might arise and I'd hate to be unprepared." Harry let the idea sink in for a moment or two before he clasped Eggsy's knee. "But first, you're right. Let's get you something you can wear to school. And a proper jacket. I hate to see you out in the cold like that." And with that, Harry got out of the car, Eggsy in tow, and bought them a pair of sweet and creamy Danishes that they ate on the way to the shops. 

The awfulness of that morning was still lingering at the back of Eggsy's mind, but not as present now. Not with him re-entering the dreamlike friendship that existed between Harry and himself. With the sweetness of a danish heavy on his tongue, he let Harry steer him towards their first stop with only a bit of guilt. Eggsy hated having to ask for things; with how poor his mother had always been, he'd figured out early on that it was hurtful to ask. Harry could certainly afford anything they bought, Eggsy had no doubt, and the older man even seemed happy at the idea of treating him to new things, but Eggsy still felt embarrassment, guilt, and the weight of a debt. Harry had already helped him so much, and now he was doing even more.

They parked in front of a small strip of stores, an Adidas, Vans, and several more that catered to the younger crowds. Eggsy looked a little nervous when they got out of the car, but Harry walked with purpose, leading the boy inside. They were greeted by a store associate who obviously assumed Harry and Eggsy were father and son. Harry thanked the young man politely, but steered Eggsy away from him after that. 

To be honest, Harry hadn't imagined shopping in this kind of area for his new charge. He was just going to have to wing it. "Alright," Harry pushed up his glasses and looked around. "You'll need a few sets at least. Trousers, shirts, pants, jacket."

"Do... I get to pick them out?" Eggsy's head was spinning, and he was doing his best not to stare. He'd never gotten to walk around in a store full of new clothes, with every size and style and color imaginable, and just choose what he wanted. Getting new clothes had always been a hunt through racks, trying to find something close enough to the right size, not too worn, not too expensive. The boy's eyes were wide and exceptionally, almost electrically blue as he looked at Harry with more than a touch of shock. The magnitude of what he might get in return for his request for more clothing was only just now sinking in. "A-anything I want?"

Harry blinked in surprise for a moment, forgetting how much of a treat this was for Eggsy in the midst of his own considerations, before he broke into a grin. "Anything you want. I have to admit I'm a little out of my depth in this area. You'll have to pick out whatever you like, just so long as you find enough to wear throughout the week." Harry couldn't help admiring the look on Eggsy's face. He could get very used to that look of stunned admiration, especially when it was directed at him. 

Harry didn't get to admire it for long, as it promptly disappeared against his shirtfront. Then again, that was something else he could get used to, along with the feel of small arms circled around him.

Eggsy's hug lasted only for a second, and then he was off, walking through the store and taking in all the sights. Interestingly, Harry could immediately discern that the boy had his own sense of style. Stripes made several appearances, patterned across shirt fronts and down the side seams of trouser legs. Some were subdued or traditional colors, but usually there was a pop of something brighter, just on the edge of becoming obnoxious. The jacket Eggsy picked out was possibly the most discreet of the items, a dark navy that brought out the color of his eyes. Every now and then Eggsy brought his finds back to Harry for him to approve and hold onto, and the boy's smile grew wider every time Harry nodded in approval.

Before long Harry had an armful, and even several pairs of brightly coloured boys' pants that he had to pretend not to eye with too much interest. Eggsy's choice in clothing was...not at all to Harry's tastes, but he did have to admit that the boy would do better with new clothes than the old and often ratty ones he usually wore. What was best was that every time Eggsy came back to hand off an item for him to hold, the boy was grinning like it was Christmas. Harry made Eggsy try on the trousers to make sure they fit, as he had some reservations as to how good Eggsy was at estimating such things on his own, but apparently the boy had a knack for it. Every time he came out of the changing room, his trousers fit just right, and showing them off for Harry was....an unexpected pleasure. 

When everything was collected, Harry made his way to the cashier's register with one anxious, excited boy trailing along beside him. Eggsy was already talking animatedly, telling Harry about how impressed his mates at school were going to be, that he wasn't going to be cold waiting for the bus anymore, that he didn't have to worry about any of the holes or thin patches in his old clothing wearing through or unraveling anymore. He even made mention of how much better things had looked in the mirror when he'd tried them on and wondered aloud whether he'd finally catch anyone's eye at school. Some of his peers had already started that dance, of passed notes and texts and whispered rumors in hallways that was still quite innocent given their age.

For all the fuss Eggsy was making over such a simple outing, it was very difficult for Harry not to let a little of that pride go to his head. He even let the upturn at the corners of his mouth slip for the boy to see as the cashier bagged Eggsy's clothes and handed Harry the receipt. Eggsy practically danced around Harry's legs on the way out. The first thing Harry did, however, was stop and fish out the boy's new jacket for him to wear. As soon as Eggsy got all the tags off and slipped it on, Harry was fighting a real smile. Leave it to Eggsy to make such a garish Adidas coat look good. 

The extra barrier between them when Harry wrapped his arm around Eggsy's shoulder on the walk back to the car was only a small inconvenience considering the boy's improved mood. 

"Thanks, Harry. I mean it, nobody's ever done nothin' like this for me before." Eggsy was struggling to carry one of the bags, but he did anything but mind it. This was another novel experience. "All of this, I mean. More'n just the clothes and stuff. My mates and I, we did stuff for one another, favors and such to pay each other back, but..."

Eggsy's smile slipped, just a little, dampened by worry of what Harry might think of him. Whether he was going to get tired of helping him and getting nothing in return. "I dunno what I got to pay you back with, other than teaching you about Spiderman and stuff."

Harry gave a small snort as he unlocked the car so they could put the bags inside. "Eggsy," he chided fondly. "You're not meant to pay me back. This isn't about fairness. Come here." Harry pulled the boy beside him before he could get in. Cars drove by and pedestrians passed and all around them the city went about its business, sounds echoing off the high stone architecture like the heartbeat of a living creature. "Life is very rarely fair, or right. You have certain codes of behaviour that you're taught to live by because that's how society runs. We all try to help each other out when we can because we hope that when we're in trouble, someone will do the same for us. But I guarantee you, Eggsy, my appreciation of you is not dependent on such a system of barter, and therefore neither is my help. Seeing you happy and able to grow into your best is enough."

Eggsy nodded slowly. He wasn't quite sure he believed Harry, not exactly. The older man was likely telling the truth about some things, and Eggsy could certainly believe that life wasn't fair or full of rightness, because he'd seen plenty of evidence to the contrary in his few short years. What he didn't understand was _why_ Harry had picked him, out of all people. Eggsy thought he was special, true enough, but that didn't mean other people thought the same. "...is it 'cause of my dad?"

Harry looked down at him, considering, and then put his back to the car and leaned into it until he'd lowered several inches, more of a height with Eggsy. The boy looked so...not worried, exactly. Confused. Curious. 

"It's not because of your father," Harry began. "At the start it might have been, I must confess. I...hadn't expected to run into Lee's son again, and I felt his family deserved far more than I ever gave you and your mother, but...I have to say that's changed over the last few months." Harry thought about his next words and sighed deeply, looking out over the city, feeling the gravity of Eggsy's attention on him increase with every passing second the boy waited. "No, Eggsy.... I'm afraid I just like you now." Harry let the corner of his mouth twitch upward.

That was exactly the right thing to say. Eggsy's thoughts swerved away from wondering if he was, in part, a debt and duty owed to his father; far better to be liked for himself than because Harry partially thought he _had_ to. Eggsy returned the half-smile, which quickly grew into a full one. "Well, I'm glad you like me, 'cause I like you too. Even if you don't know nothin' about Spiderman," he teased.

Harry scoffed. "Oh, well if that's the case, maybe I _had_ better start making demands." He nudged Eggsy with his elbow, throwing the boy off his footing just a little and then they were both grinning back at each other. "Go on, get in the car, it's freezing out here," Harry finally said. It should have broken the moment, but it didn't. By the time they were inside with the heat on and pulling away from the kerb, Eggsy was still smiling at him and Harry was doing his best to keep his eyes on the road ahead of them, unable to wipe the grin from his own face either. 

Eggsy's cheer hadn't abated by the time they got back to Harry's place. He helped carry in the bags, still brimming with excitement over his new clothing that he got to _pick_ , and the fact that Harry had told him that he _liked_ him. That Harry had even been pleased when Eggsy had told him that he liked him back. It didn't mean that Harry knew that Eggsy meant a completely different _kind_ of like, of course, but it was something. Eggsy dashed up the stairway to the guest room he'd been given with a warm feeling at his core, off to go put away his clothing and replay the afternoon in his mind.

That left Harry some time on his own to tidy up and consider his plan for the rest of the night and the following week. So far, things were going very well, but he could expect Eggsy to have ups and downs for some time. Especially if his mother was intent on having Susan call to keep up with her son. Harry was going to have to see about that if it became too regular an occurrence. 

He could hear Eggsy moving around upstairs, the very faint opening and closing of drawers and footfalls, and warmth bloomed inside Harry's chest. He closed his eyes, leaning over the kitchen counter, just thinking about how happy Eggsy was now and the night to come. 

Eggsy picked out an outfit from his new sets of clothes: a blue shirt with a tasteful white-banded red stripe across the chest, sandblasted jeans, and a fresh pair of pants that were a brilliant red. The boy gathered them up and headed into the bathroom, remembering all the times his mother had chastised him to shower before changing into a fresh pair of clothes. Soon enough he was stripped down and had the water running.

After locking the door and biting his lip, Eggsy reassessed his plan. He'd only meant to quickly wash off before re-dressing and going downstairs, but the shower presented an opportunity. Surely Harry wouldn't miss him if he was gone for a few more minutes.

The sound of the water drifted through the house, and as soon as Harry heard the soft thrum of the pipes running, his attention honed in on the bathroom. He stood stock still for a brief moment, wondering whether Eggsy would.... As soon as he reviewed the last hour of the day compared to the start, Harry decided that yes, Eggsy probably would. And that interfered with his plans. 

With silent steps, Harry took the stairs, moving like a ghost past the closed bathroom door, slipping into his office and silently locking the door behind him. He went to the computer and unlocked the feed in the bathroom. 

As expected, Eggsy was leaning against the tiles. He'd already soaped down and was just beginning to wash suds out of his hair. Washing was done quickly to try to make the time spent in the bathroom less conspicuous.

Eggsy did feel a bit guilty, wanking to the memories of his friend when he was unaware of how he felt, but what Harry didn't know wouldn't hurt him. All the boy had to do was close his eyes and picture Harry earlier in the day - not from the courtroom, but the sharp, tailored lines of that afternoon, and the way Harry had smiled at him and told him he'd liked him. Or even better, the robe from breakfast that morning. Eggsy could pretend that there was nothing underneath, that...

His brow furrowed, and his hand moved a little faster. Eggsy tried to remember the illustrations from the book Harry had bought him, merging them with Harry's frame and face, trying to imagine what that would be like. The boy had no idea if touching another person felt like touching himself. In daydreams, there wasn't any danger of being rejected; he could touch Harry, and then Harry would kiss him, and then... touch him back. All he had to do was pretend that the hand around his cock was much larger than his own.

Eggsy huffed out a breath of air. The cameras didn't pick up his voice beyond the hiss of the water, but Harry didn't need it. He could read lips just fine from years of practice, and it wasn't a stretch to see his name drop from Eggsy's lips in a breathless gasp as he climaxed.

Harry ran a hand over his face and tried not to let the image get to him, a feat nearly impossible judging from the way all the blood in his body was itching to go to his groin. Still, he was a fully grown man, past the heady prime of his youth and then a few years extra. He could control his body. And perhaps...Eggsy and his easily excitable youth would not spoil Harry's ideas for the rest of the night. Yes, Harry reasoned with a shaky exhale, this could still work. 

He turned off the computer and moved silently back downstairs while Eggsy was getting dressed. They still had plenty of time until nightfall, and Harry had several calls to make to Eggsy's school, besides. 

Eggsy counted himself lucky that he was able to take care of things so quickly. He didn't prefer it that way, but it was really quite helpful for letting off a bit of steam and nobody being the wiser. When he pulled on his new clothes and took a look at himself in the mirror, he felt _much_ better. 

Eggsy wasn't sure what he was going to do with himself, now that he got to stay over at Harry's place. It was like a dream come true, for certain, and he'd thought about it before all the previous times when he'd had to watch the clock and have Harry drive him back home before Michelle got too suspicious. What he didn't know was how he was going to cope with being there, in a way much different than how he'd suffered through staying with his aunt. That had been a situation where he just wanted escape. This... _this_ was a situation where he couldn't do what he wanted. Harry couldn't know.

With that thought, Eggsy opened the door to the bathroom with a slight tang of sadness, his thoughts all on enjoying as much of his friend's company as he could while hiding his feelings.

He descended the stairs to find Harry on the phone in the kitchen. He turned to look up at Eggsy with a smile, the cord wrapping around his upper half and preventing him from turning further. After a moment it became clear that Harry was speaking to someone from Eggsy's school, Eggsy's _old_ school, about him returning the following morning, what he'd missed, what he'd need to bring, who he should speak to. Harry jotted down a few notes and then proceeded to call the new school Susan had enrolled him in over in Stratford. 

Eggsy pouted. He couldn't help it. Harry had told him not to enjoy his vacation too much, but he'd been hoping for a few more days off before he had to return to the drudgery of school. Even if he got to show off his new clothes when he got back and fill his mates in on how awful his new school had been. Harry, though... maybe Harry couldn't afford a few days off to look after him. He'd had quite a few business trips since the beginning, when they'd first met. Weeks off traveling, and maybe appointments in his shop. There were other staff there, but if Harry was the owner, he'd probably be needed.

When Harry hung up, he gave Eggsy an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Duty calls us all I'm afraid. _But_ we still have the rest of the day to enjoy your brief freedom, and...well, if you don't have anything else in mind for the day, I think I have something you might like." Harry let a bit of mischief show in his face as he beckoned Eggsy down the hall. He had to say, Eggsy did look very nice in his new clothes. They fit him, both physically and his personality, and Harry wondered if he might be developing a bit of a thing for the bold style. 

Eggsy followed, curious and trying not to let his imagination run away with him. A slight flush crept into his cheeks as he imagined what he would actually like - Harry curled around him on the sofa as they watched a movie, or a kiss, anything - but Harry would have something else in mind. Maybe cooking lessons in the kitchen, or reading more books. The memory of Harry tucked around him under the makeshift blanket tent, both of them reading comics in dramatic voices, was one of Eggsy's favorite memories. "Something like what?"

Harry grinned and stopped in front of the den beside the living room, a room Eggsy only knew was kept as a small library. Harry switched on the light and led him inside, turning not to the rows of the bookshelf, but to a smaller cabinet beside it. When he opened it, Eggsy saw more books, but as he came closer, the titles began to jump out at him. There were rows of material similar to the ones he'd seen at the book store Harry had brought him to all those weeks ago. 

"I'd been wanting to let you take a look at these for a while now, since you haven't had a chance to get back to the book store and, well," Harry laughed as though self-conscious, "I figured your curiosity probably hasn't dissipated in the meantime."

If anything, Eggsy's blush deepened. Suddenly he had a difficult time looking at Harry. "Y-yeah. I haven't been able to... read, obviously. What with everything with my mum, and then being at my aunt's place. Didn't have no privacy at all, and I was pretty sure she'd have disapproved just as much if I'd had a book with me anyway.

Eggsy snuck a sideways glance at the books, trying to be surrepticious about it. Some looked to be fiction. Some looked to be _very_ much non-fiction. "It's not... weird? Me looking at your books?"

"Oh no, not at all," Harry chided softly, understanding more than Eggsy knew how self-conscious the boy was, especially now. "I'd prefer you to satisfy your curiosity all that you can, to indulge if you will, while you have the chance." He was treated to an even deeper shade of red touching Eggsy's cheeks. Innocuously, Harry brushed against his side to bend down and look through a few. "I've forgotten what I even have in here...but if I remember even half, then I think you might find several of interest." He plucked one off the shelf and looked through it before putting it back. 

"Anything you recommend, or... um. Maybe I should just look and see what I like?" Eggsy's gaze was more on Harry than on the books. When Harry straightened up, his eyes shifted so Harry wouldn't realize he'd been staring. Suddenly the boy felt like his shower hadn't been nearly enough. He didn't know if he could endure looking through such things with Harry in the same room, watching him and knowing what he was reading. Or worse, reading with him, like they'd done with the comics. "Can I look through them by myself?"

"By all means. I need to make a few more phone calls anyway. You're welcome to take over the living room if you'd like. I imagine it might get a bit stuffy in here after a while." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder. "There's juice and snacks in the refrigerator as usual, and I'll be in office upstairs if you need me." 

Eggsy's blush hadn't faded much, even when he finally met Harry's eyes. Harry found it immeasurably endearing. Eggsy's shyness was...delectable. It made Harry want to lean in, to touch him and make Eggsy look at him. He wanted to feel just how hot the boy's skin had become. But instead, Harry stepped back and left Eggsy there in the library, heading for the stairs and duties he could not avoid. 

Eggsy waited until he couldn't hear Harry's footsteps anymore before his attention returned to the bookcase. He'd been embarrassed while Harry was there, but now his curiosity was overwhelming. He scooted closer and began pouring over the volumes, looking at titles and plucking books out now and then to skim through.

Some of the books didn't make sense at first. Eggsy had figured that they would have all been obvious, like the ones at the store, but some weren't readily apparent. When he pulled out a book of Greek artwork, Eggsy had guessed that it was there just because the Greeks were known for making all kinds of naked statues in appreciation of the human body. Instead, he'd found a number of photographs of pottery and other things, all of them fixated on _erastes_ and _eromenos_ \- young boys and their older lovers, who were also their mentors. A book of Greek poetry turned out to be much the same, translated odes from one lover to another, praising them or trying to seduce their crush into reciprocating. Another book, which claimed to be works from some people called Uranians, turned out to also be love poetry from older men to younger ones - this time nothing so ancient as the Greeks, but less than a hundred years ago. 

Eggsy couldn't believe that things like this existed. He laid several books out on the floor, absorbed in the words and photographs of classical artwork.

What was more, he didn't understand why Harry would have it.

All the while he looked, Harry watched from an ornamental figure on the wall, his eye in the sky as it were. 

He followed Eggsy's progress as he caught up on fielding messages from the other knights and handlers. It was difficult to take a full day off in his line of work, but Harry had been at this for well over a decade now and he could look through ongoing mission reports and relay his feedback without breaking a sweat. Every time he paused to watch Eggsy, the boy's progress brought him a little more delight.

Soon the hours passed into evening and Harry finished what he could before he returned downstairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Eggsy was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of footsteps on the stairway. He panicked, closing the books he'd had laid out as quickly as he could and shoving them back into the bookcase without paying attention to what order they'd been in. Even as he worked, all he could think about was why: why Harry would have these books. Maybe he didn't remember what he owned, like he'd said when he'd first shown Eggsy the bookcase. Maybe Eggsy was wrong, and books like these were very common for gay men to own, even though he'd not seen anything like this from the bookstore they'd visited. At least, from what he could remember.

But what if it wasn't common? That thought haunted Eggsy, repeating like a broken record. If it wasn't common, that might mean that Harry liked younger men. Maybe not as young as Eggsy... but Harry wasn't dating anyone, Eggsy was fairly certain of that. Perhaps he might more-than-like him back someday. Perhaps he might be convinced to wait for him.

Maybe Eggsy's crush wasn't hopeless. A tiny flicker of hope kindled in the boy and left his chest feeling tight.

He heard the telltale clatter of Harry moving around in the kitchen and even a light whistling as Harry brought out the frying pans. When Eggsy emerged around the corner, Harry turned and shot him a smile. "Find anything interesting?" His tone suggested he thought Eggsy indeed might have, but the question wasn't entirely rhetorical either. There were a lot of books on that shelf and Harry couldn't know which ones he'd looked through. Maybe it was Eggsy's demeanour that gave him away, the way he bit his lip or the way his eyes glanced around Harry's form. 

"Yeah. I mean, they were all pretty interesting. None of that stuff gets covered in school." Eggsy's heart was in his throat. He was certain Harry must be able to hear it from all the way across the room. His friend seemed intimidating in a way that Eggsy couldn't remember before, except that one night when he'd fought with his mother over her discovery that he was gay. He'd been worried about rejection then, and he was worried about it now - of saying or doing the wrong thing and destroying the fragile little bubble of happiness and stability he'd found with Harry.

Unfortunately, Harry didn't seem to notice this time. 

"I don't imagine any school would," Harry remarked and went about pulling vegetables and potatoes out of the refrigerator before he dabbed a bit of oil into the pans and began slicing. "They're notoriously bad at teaching anything of the like. Although...if you're particularly lucky and enrolled in one of the public schools, you might run into a--shall we say an 'independent study' group?" Harry shot a wink over his shoulder and delighted in the flash of heat in Eggsy's face before he turned back to the cutting board. 

"...did you? Um. I mean, you went to a public school, right?" As soon as the words were out of Eggsy's mouth, he realized what he was asking. Inquiring about Harry's sex life when he was younger might be a bit too much prying... even if Eggsy did really want to know. He hovered in the doorway, on the edge of disappearing around the corner at any moment should Harry chastise him, but the rebuke never came.

"I did." Harry let his good humour show on his face even though he didn't look at Eggsy. The silver of his knife flashed as he sliced potatoes with practised strokes in quick succession. "And let me tell you, I don't believe those schools will ever adopt a sexual education program, but I doubt they would need it either. You become very close with your mates living on campus, and the older boys often see to it that the younger ones who are interested become as...well-educated as they'd like to be." There Harry flashed another glance and a smile Eggsy's way before he took out two large cuts of steak and sliced those. 

Harry could have cut the silence that followed with that knife. Had he turned to look, he would have seen Eggsy frozen in the doorway, shell-shocked by the information and how readily Harry told him. It took quite a few seconds for Eggsy to process what had been said, and then he began to wonder which Harry had been when he'd joined such a study group: the older boy, or the younger. Or both, as the case might have been.

Eggsy's words stuck in his throat. It took him a few tries to speak loud enough to be heard over the oil that had begun sizzling in the pan. "...what...what was that like?"

" _Enlightening_ , if I had to put it in a word." Harry transferred the steaks and vegetables to the pans, seasoning them just right. "It's a very insular experience, like living on an island, but the interesting bit is how much history the boys of that particular tradition brought with them, passed down from the very lessons we learned in class and the professors who taught them. History, you will find, is imbued with such things if you simply learn how to see it--what great leaders and thinkers were inspired by lovers in ways that were not at all platonic, and even where the word 'platonic' itself came from, which generally means a non-sexual, non-romantic affinity for another person." Finally, Harry turned around and let the pans sizzle behind him. "But if you mean the boys themselves...," he offered Eggsy a half smile, "it was one of the best times I can remember."

Eggsy didn't know what to say to that. He felt like the world had tilted on its axis, exposing a view that had been completely hidden before. Not only were there more people who were gay just like him, but from what Harry was saying, they were everywhere. They'd existed all through history, even in the upper levels of society, and Harry had _participated_ in that hidden world. He'd liked it enough to have fond memories of the experience, enough to have books about similar things packed into a case in his study.

Eggsy's feet began to move of their own accord. The boy himself was torn between the desire to retreat to safety, pretending this conversation had never happened, and the desire to get closer and know more. Closeness was winning. Harry seemed oblivious to his nervousness, even though Eggsy felt like he'd just stepped onto the tracks ahead of an oncoming train. Time stretched out, but then Eggsy ran out of floor and he found himself standing at Harry's side.

Harry wanted to reach out. He wanted _so badly_ to reach out and touch Eggsy. He was almost there. He calculated and recalculated every possibility of it in his mind, what it would mean, what it would change, what would happen and how it would matter to Eggsy if he did it now rather than later, for if he did it now there would be no avoiding the meaning of such a touch. Even a simple one. But oh how Harry wanted to. Eggsy's gaze was electrifying, greener under the soft lights now than Harry had ever seen it, even if Eggsy was avoiding his eyes more often than not. Harry found himself frozen. 

Eggsy realized that he was being a little too still, a little too quiet. Harry had glanced at him a couple of times while he was cooking, and each time Eggsy had quickly looked away, fearful that Harry could tell what he was thinking if they just made eye contact. The boy was absolutely still - he wanted to ask, wanted to touch, and was too afraid of what might happen. He was so certain Harry would say _no_.

"Could... could you tell me about it? Maybe, sometime? If... if it's not too personal. If it is, you don't have to," Eggsy quickly amended.

"What would you like to know?" Harry asked and this time he did reach out, just enough to brush a stray strand of hair behind the curve of Eggsy's ear. He could see how nervous Eggsy was. Harry's own heart was racing. He felt out of control, felt it slipping away from him by degrees and that was not good. It was slightly terrifying. Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so much in a single moment, nor had so much laid on the line when he was like this. If he didn't have control of the situation, he could lose everything. 

Eggsy's brows drew together and upwards, giving him a wistful expression that only made the temptation all the more difficult. "I... how old were you?" Eggsy blurted out. His tongue stumbled and tripped over the words, tied itself into knots, and yet the floodgate seemed to have been opened. More questions poured out, one after another, all lending a worried cast to the boy's face with his uncertainty of how Harry would react. "Did... how long did you stay? Did you teach knew people, or just get taught and leave? Was it scary? Didn't people get in trouble? Did anyone not like it?"

Harry's mouth curved in a half smile and suddenly he was grounded again. Eggsy had questions. These, he could answer. "Let's start at the beginning, shall we? First of all, I was educated at Eton before I went to University. The first experience I had was there, when I was thirteen, although I suspected I had a fondness for other boys years before that. The first time was with an older boy, but...in truth I think I favoured one of my friends in my year far more. And yes, it was scary in the beginning. I had no idea what anyone would think if others found out, but it quickly became apparent that such relations were not looked down upon within the school, so long as they weren't openly flaunted. In that way, anyone who didn't want to have a thing to do with other boys in that manner was easily excluded. Of course, unwanted crushes did occur, but they rarely went very far." 

Eggsy was rapt to every word Harry spoke. It was...invigorating, and little by little, Harry felt control return to his grasp, solidifying with every memory. 

"I remained there every year but summer until I was eighteen. And by then, I'd known several boys who I can still think fondly of to this day. We rarely got in trouble. Only if one of us decided to tease the professors a little bit too much," Harry went on, his mouth curving at that. "Or if spats between parties got out of control, silly things like that. The professors knew, of course. Especially those who'd attended such schools themselves in their youths. Some of them even encouraged it, bringing us literature and the like."

"Tease... did... did they?" Eggsy swallowed. His mind was crowded, taking in this new information and processing it while questions and emotions made it difficult to think clearly. He felt more nervous than ever, standing so close and having Harry's attention on him, but the older man was still smiling and looking at him kindly. Intently, even. "I mean, they brought you things to read, but was everything just between other boys, or... um, did the professors...?"

Harry's smile widened fractionally. "Not that I saw, personally, but such things wouldn't have been spoken of very openly either. Still, there were rumours. Crushes did happen. Some of the professors were known to be overly friendly and the boys who liked such men often picked out those they found most attractive. It could get to be quite a hot topic for gossip." Harry leaned in with a conspiratorial manner, as though someone could possibly overhear him imparting this bit of knowledge on to Eggsy. 

If anything, the boy's eyes widened further, giving him the quintessential appearance of a deer caught in headlights. Or a faun, rather. Eggsy's lips parted slightly, pink and begging to be kissed. "Did... people not like that? If... everybody else in the groups knew what was going on, but that was rumors, was it a secret because people didn't like it and thought it was wrong?"

"A bit, yes..." Harry shrugged one shoulder. "To be honest, whatever gossip about crushes with the professors was better received when I was in school than it is today. Back then it was all a good laugh. But no one's relationships were open, outside of very close circles of friends, even if it was just among the boys. In that regard, society has become much more outwardly accepting than it was back then. Not wholly, mind you, but better." Harry could see the cogs turn in Eggsy's head, nerves tempered only by the information he was putting together. 

Eggsy thought he understood what Harry was telling him: everything had been taboo back when Harry had been growing up, but equally so, and more or less equally accepted in the private groups where such things happened. Things were a bit better now for people who were openly gay, but only some of them. The boy worried at his lower lip. Harry turned his attention briefly back to the pan in front of him, flipping the ingredients over to cook evenly, and the loss of eye contact made it easier for Eggsy to think and steel his nerves. "...what did you think about it?"

"Think about what--the way our social stigma has been changing? Or being involved in that sort of culture back then?" Harry put the fork back down and leaned against the counter top, getting comfortable and, incidentally, lowering his height a few inches closer to Eggsy. The boy was having a hard time meeting his gaze still, but Harry didn't mind. He kept his posture deliberately open, welcoming. Eggsy wanted to be close, even closer than he was now, Harry could tell, and Harry wanted the same. 

"Both, I guess. And about the professors, um... being involved with stuff. More than just giving them things to read." Harry knew what sort of an image he made and how to use the lines of his body; he watched Eggsy struggle not to look where his eyes were naturally drawn. Eggsy's gaze turned a bit upwards instead, but he still couldn't meet Harry's eyes. He settled for just a bit lower, which left him staring at Harry's mouth instead.

"I didn't have any qualms over it at the time. And I still don't, to be honest," Harry admitted. "So long as no one's being coerced; so long as whatever power imbalance exists is used to guide and to support the younger party. Such imbalances often occurred between the older students and the younger students as well and was all quite natural. Personally, I'm glad for the public support we've all gained throughout the last couple decades, but I do believe it is a rather narrow form of support." Harry could see that wasn't very uplifting news for Eggsy, not when a tiny furrow appeared between his brows. "You'd be surprised, however, just what the majority of people get up to in private that they'd never be willing to support in the open."

Harry was so close; he could practically see Eggsy's thoughts flickering just behind the boy's eyes. He could see his deliberation in the slight upward slant of his eyebrows and the way the tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Eggsy shifted just a bit closer until he was practically brushing against Harry's side.  
"Um...Harry?"

"Yes?" Harry had to concentrate to control his breathing. He could have reached out again. He could have caught Eggsy's wrist and pulled the boy into him and Eggsy would go. Harry imagined doing it. He kept his eyes on Eggsy's face, turned away from him just slightly. Harry relaxed his posture even more, inviting Eggsy with the open curve of his shoulders and the way he knew Eggsy's subconscious would read the stance as Harry just on the verge of reaching out. 

"Do... do you promise-" Eggsy had a difficult time keeping his voice steady and loud enough to hear. It cracked slightly at the edges, an audible cue to just how much he was afraid to lose this particular gamble. "Do you promise you won't get rid of me, if... if I tell you something? You're not going to get mad? Or send me to a foster family?"

Harry could no longer remain standing at that. His hands slipped from the ledge of the counter and he sank down to his knees in front of Eggsy in one fluid motion, hands coming up to frame the boy's face. It put them at not only at more of an equal height, but now Eggsy was just slightly taller than Harry. There was no way Eggsy could avoid Harry's eyes like that. "Oh Eggsy... Of course I promise." And Harry meant that. It was easy to mean that. "There is not a single thing you could tell me that would make me want to get rid of you." 

Eggsy was still afraid, but this time he met Harry's gaze. Eggsy searched his face, taking reassurance from Harry's words, touch, and the fact that he still looked so open and inviting. "I... um. I like you. A lot. Like, more than a friend." Eggsy's pulse was racing; Harry could feel it just where his hands cupped the edges of the boy's jawline. "I'm... please don't send me away."

Harry couldn't help the way his mouth curved into a smile, nor did he want to. His thumb traced a line over Eggsy's cheek, reveling at its softness, at how he had Eggsy here in his hands like this. The boy looked frozen, waiting for an answer, but Harry didn't close off even by the fractions Eggsy expected him to. 

"Eggsy," Harry whispered softly, "I like you, too. Also a lot. And also more than just as a friend." Harry let his gaze run down the boy's body, practically feeling goosebumps arise on Eggsy's flesh wherever his eyes touched. Harry dropped his hand to lift one of Eggsy's to his mouth and there he placed a soft, rather chaste, kiss before he looked up again to meet Eggsy's eyes. 

A flash of disbelief passed through Eggsy's eyes, and then he moved forward. Harry was nearly thrown off-balance as Eggsy pressed closer, arms wrapped around Harry's neck and eyes shut tight. Harry could feel the tension leave the boy in degrees, melting away even faster when his own arms encircled Eggsy and returned the embrace. "I thought you were going to hate me and say we couldn't be friends anymore," Eggsy said, his voice slightly muffled from where he was pressed up against Harry's neck. "But it was so _hard_."

Harry sighed softly, relief mirroring Eggsy's. He sat back and pulled the boy along with him until Eggsy was sitting in his lap, legs on either side of him, and Harry had to force back the arousal that threatened to heat his veins. Having Eggsy in his arms like this felt better than anything he'd imagined. The boy's body was so small and soft...and pliant. Harry wanted to run his lips up and down Eggsy's neck. The softness of his hair under Harry's fingers and the way Eggsy's thighs wrapped around him was the sweetest taste of what could be. 

"I'm so sorry you thought that," Harry whispered into Eggsy's ear. 

Harry was rewarded with a shiver. Eggsy stayed tucked against Harry's neck for a few more seconds, just recovering and enjoying the closeness without the pretense. Harry would let him do this, now. There didn't have to be a movie, or the two of them reading together, or anything other than Eggsy just wanting to do it. Eventually Eggsy drew back, not letting go, but wanting to look at Harry again. The boy's brows were still drawn together, but in consideration this time instead of fear. "...I don't know what we do, now."

The corners of Harry's mouth turned up again. "We carry on. Only this time...perhaps with a little better understanding....and....perhaps a few more perks." Harry's smile curved and Eggsy's eyes latched onto his mouth with such delightful fascination. It was so inviting that Harry leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of Eggsy's mouth, soft and dry and the barest amount of everything he wanted to do to the boy, but Harry's sense of timing still held him back. That sense was ingrained in him, had saved his life more than once. 

A look of awe dawned on Eggsy's face from just that simple touch. He hesitated for another moment, still looking for approval, and when he saw it he leaned in again. The kiss was the sort of chaste, delicate thing that only the very innocent and inexperienced did, but it was heartfelt and so soft. When Eggsy pulled back, affection was writ all over his face and a rosy flush had returned to his cheeks.

And then the moment was broken as Eggsy blinked and his gaze turned sideways. "...I think the food is burning."

Harry blinked. "Shit." 

He rose to take the steaks and vegetables off the stove and waved a cloth over them before the fire alarm went off. Eggsy stood there and watched with what looked suspiciously like amusement. 

"I hope you like your dinner well done," Harry groused as he dished out their plates, handing one to Eggsy to bring to the table before he followed with silverware. The wine glasses made an appearance again. Harry set them down on the table before himself and Eggsy before he dug a bottle out of the pantry and popped it open with a very satisfying surge of fizz. He poured a generous amount in both their glasses. "To celebrate," he said, before raising Eggsy a toast. 

The number of bubbles made Eggsy grin, doubly so when he mirrored Harry's gesture, clinked their glasses together, and ventured a taste. "This is different then the other ones. Besides all the fizz," he noted, although he didn't have the vocabulary to describe it. "Not as sweet, but it's not really bitter neither?" He glanced down at his plate, turned over a few vegetables with blackened edges, and couldn't stop himself from giggling.

"Oh you think that's funny, do you?" Harry waved his fork at Eggsy, grinning all the while. "Just you wait until I intentionally burn it the next time. You'll be sorry then." He sliced himself a piece and chewed thoughtfully. It crunched noticeably and Harry closed his eyes with a sigh of shame. When Eggsy didn't stop laughing, Harry resorted to kicking him under the table. 

"You don't get no excuses unless I'm distracting you," Eggsy shot back playfully. The more minutes passed with Harry still treating him the same, still teasing him and accepting teasing back, the more Eggsy relaxed and gained a bit of his confidence back. The world hadn't ended. Harry wasn't going to kick him out, and their friendship wasn't going to end. Even better, maybe his fantasies had a chance of coming true. Compared to that, burnt dinner was nothing to complain about; Eggsy ate even the crispy bits.

Before long, Harry was clearing away their plates and putting them away in the dishwasher. He'd kept refilling their wine glasses, enough for Eggsy now to be feeling the effects. Even Harry was, though he'd kept Eggsy's portions carefully moderated to not put the boy completely out of his wits. Harry enjoyed the feel of it, the buzz of the alcohol relaxing the tension in the room and the arousal that had been steadily building in him ever since Eggsy's shower. 

When Harry turned back, he saw that Eggsy's cheeks were flushed with colour that had just as much to do with the wine as his admission earlier. "Come," Harry said and led the boy into the living room, sitting himself down on the sofa and beckoning Eggsy to follow. 

Eggsy didn't hesitate. Now that his confession was out of the way, he wasn't afraid of Harry anymore - or, rather, afraid of Harry reacting badly. Harry himself had never scared him. When he reached the sofa, he sat down next to Harry, all curiosity and admiration. Between the alcohol and the fact that he had nothing left to hide anymore, Eggsy didn't bother trying to disguise the way he was studying Harry.

Harry smiled, watching Eggsy watch him before he scooped the boy up in his arms and leaned back, pulling Eggsy down on top of him. Eggsy laughed a little and so did Harry. He brushed the boy's hair back from his temple and just admired him. "Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are, Eggsy?" Harry asked softly, watching colour rise in Eggsy's cheeks like he'd flipped a switch. Harry delighted that he could do that. It was a rush so heady it went down to his core. Even Eggsy could surely feel the way he breathed deeper.

Eggsy shook his head. He didn't think he looked all that much different from the other kids in his year, and none of them had really caught his eye. He'd been teased, even, for having a slight hint of auburn in his hair. "No, I... Nobody's really looked at me before, that I know of. Like a crush or anything. I guess I wouldn't have known if it was another bloke, because people are still off about that, but the girls all seem to know who likes who, an' everyone finds out pretty quick. Nobody's said nothin' about me."

Harry just kept on smiling. "I don't think they realise what they're missing. Better for me, I suppose." He let his teeth show, let Eggsy revel in the attention, the kind of affection Harry knew he'd been wishing for for some time now. It was certainly strange being this close to Eggsy after Harry had wanted it for so long, and he had to consider that it was even stranger for the boy to see him like this, laid out underneath Eggsy on the couch. "You were very curious earlier, about my life in public school. From our talks before and our trip to the book store, I can only assume you've discovered no such outlets?" 

If anything, Eggsy turned redder, and suddenly he was avoiding looking at Harry again. To his mortification, the boy could feel himself growing hard again, and all he could do was pray that Harry didn't notice. "Um... no, not really. I don't really fancy any of the boys at school either, and I wouldn't have known which of them was gay even if I did, and..." Eggsy shrugged, the movement more awkward given how he was laying down. "I mean, the books helped give me some ideas and such, but... um."

Eggsy's chin lowered. "I kinda liked you for a while, I wasn't lookin' all that hard at anyone else. I just thought... I mean, you knew my _dad_. I thought you'd think it was weird."

Harry gave a soft laugh. "I don't think it's weird." He let his fingers roam where they'd wanted to for so long, all above the waist, but still.... The strands of Eggsy's hair felt feather soft beneath Harry's fingertips, the short bits of it that gave way to smooth skin down the back of Eggsy's neck was a tease when Harry was stopped at the collar of his shirt. Harry had to settle for massaging in long, slow strokes over Eggsy's back above the material, feeling the form of his body underneath and imagining what it would be like without that barrier in the way. 

Harry's touch wasn't helping Eggsy fight his body; the boy ducked his head even further and shut his eyes, but to no avail. Worse, even, because now he could smell Harry through the fabric of his shirt, that familiar cologne layer atop the musky, warm scent of skin. Eggsy felt a tingling all over as his own skin broke into gooseflesh and his hips shifted. He was trapped at an awkward angle against Harry's stomach, but didn't want to draw attention to that fact. "I've... just been _thinking_ about stuff, I guess."

"Oh?" Harry asked softly. He bent his head closer to Eggsy's ear. "Have you thought of me?" He felt the boy's breath hitch and if Harry hadn't already known just how much Eggsy _had_ in fact thought of him while his fantasies ran wild, that would have been a dead giveaway. Harry's smile curled into a grin but Eggsy didn't see it, not with his face pressed to Harry's shirt like that. All the while, Harry's hands never stopped their slow, roaming trail over Eggsy's back. It could have been almost platonic if it wasn't for their conversation, or the tension steadily building between them all evening. 

Eggsy finally found the courage to nod. "Y-yeah," he whispered. He felt frozen again, not wanting to move away from Harry, but exquisitely aware of just how much he was the center of the older man's attention right then. Harry hadn't said anything about it, but by now Eggsy was sure he'd noticed the slight pressure against his stomach. Just thinking about Harry's question had made it worse, as all of the boy's fantasies came flooding back, augmented by the fact that Harry was stretched out underneath him.

Harry hummed quietly in approval. He let his hands stroke all the way down Eggsy's back, resting gently just above the boy's hips. Harry lingered there, drawing small circles with his thumbs into the flesh above Eggsy's hip bone, never touching skin. Harry turned his head farther, just enough to press his mouth to Eggsy's ear. "Would you like me to help?" 

Harry felt Eggsy tremble, so he ran one of his hands over the boy's back again, up and down, trying to sooth as it went. 

"Nothing you're not ready for," Harry amended softly. "Just...to help your fantasies along. They're nothing you have to be ashamed of."

Eggsy's wants turned into an ache. He'd just been thinking about something like this earlier, in the shower, and now Harry was offering him something for _real_. Some of the things he'd thought about were too scary to think about actually doing, but others...

Eggsy was self-conscious about his body, but from what Harry had said, he had little to worry about. Harry found him attractive, so he'd likely _still_ find him attractive even without his clothes. Eggsy thought again about the books from Harry's bookcase he'd been reading, and what he'd said about his school days. He thought about the way Harry always had a warm smile for him and a gentleness that was ever-present. The boy shivered again, but he nodded. "...y-yeah. If... if you want to."

Harry grinned and pressed his lips to the curve of Eggsy's ear. He felt the boy's hands tighten in his shirt. "Then sit up." 

Eggsy didn't move until Harry did, pushing himself back until his shoulders rested against the arm of the couch. Eggsy was forced to straighten himself, still wrapped around Harry's middle, but with...marginally less contact. He was biting his lip and had trouble meeting Harry's eyes again, getting close and then darting away and then getting close again. In that way, Harry could tell Eggsy wanted to look at him. He caught the boy's face in the palm of his hand and gave Eggsy a soft smile. "Now come here," Harry whispered and leaned in, drawing closer, eyes on Eggsy's, whose were so dilated his irises were a just a ring of green in the low light, until finally, Harry pressed his mouth against Eggsy's. 

This, Eggsy was sure about. He was inexperienced and clumsy, but sincere. Harry didn't need much persuasion to get Eggsy to press back, although he was still leading; the boy tended to copy what Harry did, from a slight pressure here to a movement there. Soon enough, Eggsy was starting to melt against him. Harry caught the boy's lower lip, and after a gasp of surprise, Eggsy shyly tried to do the same. He managed, but with a bit more teeth then Harry had used, barely more than a light tug and letting go just as quickly. By the time Harry pulled back to look at him again, Eggsy's rosy color had nothing to do with embarrassment.

Harry's face split into a grin and, tentatively, Eggsy returned it. 

When Harry leaned in again to catch Eggsy's mouth, Eggsy was ready for it. Harry teased him with more soft nips of his teeth, and with just the right pressure, Eggsy caught on. Having Eggsy nip at him like that in return quickly sent shivers down Harry's body and he had to be careful to keep Eggsy sitting higher up on his stomach or risk the boy noticing just how aroused he had become. Fortunately, Harry had a bit more practice at this than Eggsy did. He kept one arm wrapped around Eggsy's back, keeping him right where Harry wanted. 

Harry turned his head, broke away to press kisses into Eggsy's cheek, down his small jaw, tickling down his neck and to his collar bone until the boy laughed and squirmed and Harry made his way back up again. 

Drunk on kisses, positive attention, and more than a bit of wine, Eggsy was starting to feel safer. This was like his daydreams, only better, because Harry was actually _there_. He could feel him, instead of just imagining what it might feel like, and Harry knew more tricks than his imagination did. The things Harry did with his mouth on his neck, or by his ear, made Eggsy writhe against him, not quite able to control himself. It tickled, but in a way that made him want to get closer instead of escape. 

When Harry gave him the chance, he tried to copy that too. Small fingers buried themselves in dark hair, trying to pull Harry closer, and Eggsy kissed a line up his neck to his jaw. The faint stubble felt a bit like sandpaper against his skin, and for some reason that made Eggsy laugh. His imagination had never factored in that roughness in his daydreams.

Harry laughed breathlessly in return. He knew Eggsy felt his breath hitch, but that at least told the boy he hadn't done anything wrong. Harry hadn't expected him to be so bold, but it was a _delight_. With hands trailing through Eggsy's hair and down his back, Harry encouraged him to explore, and Eggsy did, little by little, always coming back to press kisses against Harry's mouth before too long, like that was what he thought he should do. Harry found it endearing. Harry kissed him back in those moments, drawing Eggsy into him and then teasing the boy with soft bites before he could get any more. Harry turned it into a game, almost. 

Through it all, Eggsy's skin became more heated. It was a slow seduction, making the boy more comfortable and secure until he forgot about his embarrassment, his worries about what Harry might think, his nervousness to be trying something so unfamiliar. Eggsy lost track of time, when seconds were counted in kisses and touches and Harry's low, soft voice near his ear. The game continued until Harry caught his lower lip again and Eggsy let out a whimper and rocked his hips forward without thinking.

Harry sighed in pleasure. He felt Eggsy's small body melt into him at the sensation. Before the boy could pull back, Harry lowered his arm around Eggsy's waist and caught him. 

Gently, Harry tugged him forward again, keeping Eggsy's lip held softly between his teeth and not letting go. Eggsy didn't need to talk right then. Harry needed him distracted. He felt Eggsy's breath catch when his hips rubbed into Harry's stomach. Only then did Harry let go of Eggsy's lip and continue his softly biting kisses. Harry relaxed his arm, giving Eggsy some relief, and then pulled Eggsy's hips down again the same as he did before. 

Eggsy shuddered against him, just the way Harry wanted. Eggsy didn't try to pull away. Eggsy associated Harry with safety, and lust was beginning to override any other thoughts or concerns in his mind. Harry felt just as safe as the imaginative version in Eggsy's head. He couldn't get hurt.

Harry pulled him down a third time and Eggsy gave a soft cry. The friction felt good, but it was so _slow_ , more of a tease than anything that was going to bring relief. Eggsy tried to squirm, but didn't get anywhere; Harry's hand was still on his back, pressing them together and holding him in place.

Harry laughed softly, tickling Eggsy's ear with his teeth and the rumbling sound. Harry bent and ghosted warm air down Eggsy's neck and pulled the boy's hips against him again. He kept at that slow pace until Eggsy was making little hitching sounds in the back of his throat, just holding onto Harry and clenching his legs around Harry's waist. Eggsy was so malleable like this, and so _small_. Harry could have picked him up if he'd wanted to, could have turned them around, pressed the boy down into the couch and smothered him with Harry's body. The thought of it was exquisite, but this, right now, this was all about Eggsy. All about the pleasure Harry could feel building within him, how it had nowhere to go but growing fraction by fraction nevertheless. 

Eggsy's experiences by himself, in bed and in the shower, had been nothing like this. He'd always rushed, pursuing climax and relief as quickly as he could. Harry was drawing things out, slow enough to be torturous, and every time Eggsy tried to buck his hips and move faster he felt a hand pressing down and keeping him from moving as quickly as he wanted. He didn't understand why Harry wasn't letting him move. This wasn't helping at all; everytime Harry laughed and kissed at his neck, or teased the edge of his ear, Eggsy felt a little more desperate. "H-harry...? _Please_ , I can't-... I have to..."

"Would you like me to help you with that, as well?" Harry breathed into Eggsy's ear, feeling the boy tremble at even that much sensation. He had to fight the urge to bring Eggsy down, push him lower so he could rub up against Harry's hips and the painfully hard erection there, but Eggsy didn't need to know about that, and Harry resisted, instead languishing in the boy's pleasure. And how beautifully Eggsy responded to the pleasure Harry gave him. Eggsy tried to be quiet, but he was so sensitive. 

Worry ate at the edges of Eggsy's consciousness. He didn't think Harry would make fun of him, or hurt him, and this was exactly the sort of thing Eggsy had fantasized about. He'd been curious about whether it felt different when someone else touched him, rather than touching himself, and this was his chance to find out. Harry might even have ideas of how to make it feel better than he'd figured out on his own; after all, Harry had more experience.

And Eggsy _did_ trust him. It was that trust, and sheer want, that made Eggsy nod again.

Harry turned his face into Eggsy's neck and just breathed in. The boy was his now. He could have this. Eggsy was in his arms, giving Harry everything he wanted, but Harry had to take this one step at a time. 

"Okay," Harry whispered, letting the hand that wasn't holding Eggsy draw down between them, brushing up the inside of Eggsy's thigh first. Harry lifted the boy's hips just enough to work his hand between them, palm up and brushing flat over the small hardness he found beneath the denim fabric. Eggsy whimpered and trembled in his arms and Harry smiled into his neck. Carefully, Harry undid Eggsy's trousers and slipped his hand inside. 

Eggsy gasped and wasn't quite able to keep himself from squirming. Harry hadn't even touched him properly yet, just pressure and warmth on the other side of his pants, but it felt so much more _intense_ than Eggsy had expected. Maybe some of that was because he'd never done this before, or because Harry had teased him for so long. Or maybe it was because he liked Harry so _much_ and had been thinking about him more and more when he'd been touching himself.

There wasn't even a comparison between fantasy and reality. Harry easily cupped him in one hand, then did something with his thumb, stroking the fabric over the head of his cock. Eggsy made a noise in the back of his throat.

Then Harry began stroking. It was slow at first, almost as slow as the way Harry had been pulling Eggsy's hips down against him earlier, but this was so much more _focused_. Every bit of sensation was exactly where it needed to be. Harry's fingers moved over Eggsy's shaft with just the right amount of pressure, even with the last, thin cotton barrier between them. Most of all, it was unrelenting. There was no end to the friction, no point at which the perfect pleasure stopped. 

Harry pressed kisses up and down Eggsy's neck again, but this time when he god far enough down to the boy's collar, his tongue dipped between his teeth and Harry finally tasted him. Eggsy's skin was salty with sweat and heated to the touch, but he was _delicious_. 

Moreover, Eggsy didn't have the experience or self-control to stay quiet or temper his reactions. He gave a soft cry when Harry's tongue swept across his skin and shivered, his own grip on Harry tightening. Without Harry's hand keeping him in place, Eggsy's hips started to thrust against the fingers curled around him. The boy's breathing turned ragged, and when Harry tried to steal another taste Eggsy's head turned and his neck arched.

Eggsy didn't last long. All too soon Harry felt him shudder and give one last cry.

Eggsy's body went still. Harry turned, nuzzled into the corner of Eggsy's jaw, felt the boy frozen in the rush of it. It was one of the most beautiful things Harry had ever seen. Beautiful didn't begin to quantify it. Eggsy was a treasure, so small and so gorgeous, so delectable. Harry wanted to devour him. 

Harry let his lips linger over Eggsy's skin. Slowly, carefully, he drew his hand back and buttoned Eggsy's trousers, smoothing the material of his shirt down when he was done. Harry wrapped his arms around Eggsy again and let him breath. Harry smiled into his neck before pulling back, just enough to see Eggsy's face. 

Eggsy was as open as Harry had ever seen him, but without the fears that had cast a shadow over the other times he'd trusted him. The boy's pupils were still blown wide and dark, and his mouth was reddened from kissing. He looked fragile and innocent, but his quiet shyness had been replaced with something like awe and no small measure of affection. Eggsy's smile, when it came, was a slow thing that bloomed over several seconds, unfolding from his mouth until it filled his eyes.

Harry found himself mirroring the smile. It was instinctual, unpractised, but it felt right to see Eggsy's eyes light up like that and to know he would see it in Harry in return. Harry stroked his fingers through Eggsy's hair, enjoying how boneless the body atop him felt. 

"Enjoyed that, did you?" Harry almost didn't want to break the moment. The corner of his mouth turned up and he knew his eyes were glinting with mischief under the low light. It was hard for him to say just then what he must look like to Eggsy, but he had an approximation of an idea. It was difficult to focus on himself when Eggsy was in his arms looking the way he looked. 

Not all of Eggsy's embarrassment had been erased; His smile turned a little crooked at the edges as his mouth twisted, and he flushed redder, but he didn't avoid Harry's eyes this time. He was too busy drinking in the sight that showed him Harry found him attractive. Something about it was off, a little sharp and predatory, but Eggsy only found that thrilling instead of frightening. "...y-yeah. Better... than by myself," Eggsy admitted a little breathlessly.

"I should hope so." Harry leaned in again and pressed soft kisses down the side of Eggsy's cheek and back to his ear, just to feel the boy squirm. He wasn't disappointed. If Harry kept getting caught up in Eggsy's reactions, he was going to drive them both mad before long, so he pulled back again, shifted on the couch so that he was able to lay down a bit better, head still propped up by the armrest. Eggsy still couldn't keep his eyes off Harry, and it was incredibly difficult to pretend it didn't affect him. "Don't think this gets you out of going to school tomorrow." Harry narrowed his eyes. 

As if on cue, Eggsy pouted. That tender, pink lower lip jutted out, and he tried to give Harry his most endearing eyes, but the effect was ruined by the boy's struggle to keep a straight face. When Harry didn't relent, Eggsy huffed out a noise of frustration. "Do I have to go tomorrow? I only just got here. It's not like I'm missing nothin', and I'm learnin' stuff."

"Oh you're learning stuff alright," Harry laughed. "Not the sort of stuff they'd teach you in school." He couldn't resist nipping at the corner of Eggsy's lip, not when it was on display so prominently. Harry stayed close, having to tamp down his own arousal lest it get the better of him. "I'm afraid I don't have the time to teach you algebra. Priorities, mind you." He could feel as much as see Eggsy snicker at that and Harry pressed his smile into the boy's cheek before he pulled back, trying to clear his head. 

"I dunno, maybe you could make algebra _interestin'_ ," Eggsy countered. "But I guess, if you've only got time for one thing, I really don't want to waste it on maths."

Eggsy still couldn't stop staring at Harry. Now that he didn't have to keep pretending they were only friends, he could look all he wanted. Only...

Prior information filtered back into Eggsy’s thoughts, dissipating a bit of his happiness. "I was just thinkin'... that stuff would be different now, only it can't be, isn't... isn't that right? I mean, you said people still sort of minded when you were in school, but not as much as they do now?"

"Ah, yes." Harry knew this was coming one way or another. Eggsy's mouth pulled into a frown and Harry resettled his arms around the boy. "This...is definitely not the sort of thing other people would approve of. Even hints of it. You're very young, Eggsy." Harry let the tips of his fingers ghost down the back of the boy's neck. "You asked what happens now, and I did mean it when I said we simply go on. What closeness we feel for each other won't affect the world at large." 

"But what's that mean?" Eggsy couldn't imagine going back to how they'd been before, but it didn't seem like that was what Harry was saying. Not exactly. Still, if nobody would approve of it, even more than people didn't approve of just being gay... "That it's just this once? Or that I'm just supposed to pretend when we're outside the house?"

Harry sighed. "Just that. You don't have to pretend with me, but believe me, Eggsy, this would not go over well if we told anyone. And I don't just mean there's a very high chance; I mean it's very likely you would be taken away again and I would go to prison." Harry knew that statement would be a bit of a shock, and he confirmed it in the widening of Eggsy's eyes. He let his fingers linger at the short hairs at the back of Eggsy's neck. "I would rather you decide whether you still want this, knowing that. It's a great sacrifice to make, silence is." 

More than shock; Eggsy didn't understand why it would happen, but now he had a new fear. He couldn't fathom losing Harry any more than he could his mother. "But-... I can be quiet, I can. I've never grassed anyone up. I just... I don't want to stop," he clarified. "I don't, I really don't, and I'll be quiet if that's what I gotta do, but why would they arrest you? I thought bein' gay wasn't illegal no more."

"Well, it's not. But fraternizing with anyone under the age of sixteen is." Harry offered Eggsy a small smile of condolence. "You don't have to decide right now. I want you to think about it carefully. I'd rather not stop either," and Harry let some warmth back into his face at that, "but the last thing I want is for you to be hurt. Especially if that comes from another run-in with the authorities. I think you've had quite enough of that." Finally, Harry let himself relax, and let Eggsy observe him as he was, as though he could invite the boy to consider whether Harry was worth it.

Eggsy, by contrast, wasn't relaxed at all. He got more upset the more he thought about it; he'd confessed to Harry, and Harry had confessed back, and talked to him the whole time afterwards. He'd not done anything Eggsy hadn't said yes to, hadn't wanted... and now Harry was telling him that they could never be open about it. He could never kiss him or say some things in public or get to close, couldn't even talk to other people about his relationship, or else they would hurt Harry. Eggsy didn't even understand why. It was one thing if Harry had hurt him, like Dean had hurt his mother, but Harry had never done anything of the sort.

And yet Harry laid there, knowing Eggsy could hurt him if he wanted to just by saying a few words. Eggsy didn't understand how he could be so calm. "I don't get it, but I don't wanna stop neither," he finally whispered, chin tucked against his chest. "I don't want you in jail."

Harry gave the boy a small smile. "And I'm glad for that." He stroked a thumb over Eggsy's cheek. "It won't always be this way. When you're older." Harry was hesitant to lead Eggsy down that path, the boy was after all a very long way away from an adult in the eyes of the law, but Eggsy seemed to need some form of optimism, no matter how small. "It won't change much in practice. We can still go out together, do things together...go out for dinner, see movies, whatever you like. And then you can come back here with me, and you don't have to pretend at all anymore."

Eggsy only seemed a little mollified, but he leaned forward until he could resettle against Harry's chest. Eggsy's arms tucked around him. "I'll pretend when we're out," he agreed. "Even though I don't want to. I don't want anyone to take you away."

And that was the gist of it: his mother had been taken away, mostly. His friends had been taken away for a time, and were still uncertain - he'd been transferred back to the same school, but Eggsy had no idea if they knew what was going on with him or would continue to support him. His aunt didn't want him, and there was no other family left. Harry had quickly become a touchstone, a source of stability and comfort and love, and Eggsy didn't know what he would do if that was taken away. "Just don't make me pretend when we're here."

"Now why would I do that?" Harry asked, letting his smile grow, just so Eggsy would glimpse it. It wasn't really a question. Harry bent to kiss the top of Eggsy's head, enjoying the feel of such soft hair brushing against his nose. Eggsy was going to have to be strong for this. Harry had seen that kind of strength in him already, but he was going to have to learn as well. And Harry was going to have to teach him. The first step was that Eggsy felt safe, felt wanted. If Harry could be Eggsy's foundation, then he could do almost anything. "I don't ever intend to let you doubt me," Harry whispered into Eggsy's hair. 

Eggsy didn't have an answer for that. His juvenile distress over returning to school was completely forgotten in the wake of the idea of losing Harry. He felt so much bigger and stronger than Eggsy, and seemed to hold a lot more power if the events at the police station indicated anything, and yet Eggsy felt like everything was fragile. Life with his mother had been a certainty, too. Harry kissed the top of his head again and Eggsy tilted his head up to regard Harry with worried eyes. "...promise?"

The word slipped into Harry like a shard of glass, but his face did not change. Eggsy could not know. 

"I promise," Harry said softly, and the funny thing was that it was true. Harry did not ever intend for the boy to doubt him, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. The knowledge of how Eggsy would believe him tempered his smile, but it was fitting. Eggsy was right to feel the weight in their circumstances. Harry needed him to feel that weight. It was just...unusual, being the focus of such emotion set behind Eggsy's wide eyes and open face, the face Harry had longed to touch. Unsurprising that he should be moved in return. 

Eggsy was too young for such solemnity. He accepted Harry's words at face value, along with his soft smile. The boy leaned in, kissed Harry one more time, and then settled back down. Things weren't going to change outside the house, but inside.. Eggsy didn't know what to expect. He knew a bit about sex now, from the books he'd seen and some of what he'd overheard from other people and the borrowed magazines, and he'd seen a bit of mushy romance from movies and the like, but Eggsy didn't know what people did. Or if that was different when it was two boyfriends, rather than a heterosexual couple. "Harry...? Are... um. Does this mean we have the same bedroom, now?"

Harry couldn't help a small laugh. "Do you think you'd like that? You can keep your own room of course. I'd hate for you not to have a space of your own, but...," and there was that heat again, stirring in Harry's groin, just as it had begun to dissipate, "if you'd like to sleep in mine, I would not object." Harry turned and said it into Eggsy's ear, tickling the boy with the warmth of it as he did so. This was a mood Harry could appreciate far better, even if the harsh intrusion of reality upon Eggsy's expectations was necessary for them to navigate. 

"Maybe." Harry blew against his ear, and Eggsy squirmed in response, his mouth quirking up in a smile again at how ticklish it was and the fact that Harry hadn't refused. "Maybe you snore, though. We'll see. I guess it's supposed to be romantic, but I've never slept with someone else in my room, so I don't know if I like it or not. I guess we can try it and I'll go back to my room if I don't like it?"

"Hm, that sounds like a very reasonable plan." Harry smiled against Eggsy's ear and drew back. "Although I must say, it is not at all as romantic as you might expect. Though...it is rather comforting. And it does have its perks." 

Harry's eyes dropped to the boy's still swollen lips and didn't try to hide the interest behind it. Even still he could detect colour rising in Eggsy's cheeks, almost Pavlovian at this point. And Harry was again hard in his trousers. Not painfully so, thank heavens, but he still had some trouble turning the conversation back on track. 

"Speaking of, we should probably get you off to bed soon, or you'll never be up in time for school tomorrow."

Eggsy groaned, and his forehead hit Harry's chest. "That again? Do I really gotta go? Can't I get one more day? Today hardly counted, you know, what with all the legal stuff." Eggsy was trying to milk the situation for all it was worth. He wasn't even above a bit of manipulation himself; Harry soon found lips pressed to his neck, along with beseeching eyes. "Is it 'cause you have to go back to work tomorrow? I can be quiet, if you take me with you. Just _one_ more day?"

Harry let his head fall back and laughed. "You're a little devil, did you know that?" His fingers curled at the back of Eggsy's head, gripping lightly at the short strands of hair, like he might pull the boy off and manhandle him where Harry wanted, or perhaps that was just Harry's imagination running where it liked. "But you'll not sway me. We both have our duties to attend--mine is work and yours is school and there is not a chance of you sitting around the shop all day and behaving yourself quietly, regardless." Harry gripped the back of Eggsy's head tighter and lifted him, gently but forcefully, by the hair to meet Harry's gaze. Harry couldn't help the flash of teeth that got into his smile, turning it into something...a little more predatory than he'd been going for. 

Eggsy didn't notice, or not exactly - his gaze flickered to Harry's smile, but most of his expression was swallowed by his pout. The boy had truly hoped to win another day of leisure by appeal. Harry's denial wasn't held against him, but Eggsy was disappointed nonetheless. Children didn't appreciate mandatory school attendance no matter what age. "Fine. I guess I'll try somethin' different next time, then." Eggsy tried to retain his air of disappointment, but it was difficult to achieve when he was draped atop his crush, who'd reciprocated his feelings and had invited him to try sleeping in his room with him.

Harry raised a brow. "We'll see about that," he challenged, delighting in the way Eggsy's eyes sparked in return. All Harry wanted to do was flip them over, rub up against Eggsy, see if his ideas could compare at all to Harry's. But Harry restrained himself. He pressed his palm to Eggsy's cheek and tempered his smile. "Come on, then. Up you get. Time for bed." Eggsy's chin hit Harry's breastbone and Harry's smile widened. He hadn't truly anticipated Eggsy to be quite _this_ endearing. It was both adorable and maddeningly arousing. 

Eggsy lifted himself up, palms pressed against Harry's chest, and slid off. The boy didn't have nearly as many qualms about going to bed as he did about school, particularly if he got to see what sharing a bed with Harry was like. Eggsy waited beside the sofa and watched Harry lever himself upright into a sitting position. "Are you coming, too? Or not yet?"

"Yes, I think I will." Harry tried not to let his excitement get the better of him. There was to be no more of that tonight, no matter how much he wanted it. Harry let himself be tempted, but his resolve would have to remain. He climbed up off the couch while Eggsy waited, eagerness in every line of his body. For something so simple as sleeping in Harry's bed, it was remarkable how much he could light up. Then again, Harry felt that very excitement pulling inside his chest at the same thought. 

Harry standing brought into sudden relief just how much larger than Eggsy he was, nearly two of him. Eggsy's head came up barely to Harry's sternum. Harry reached out and ruffled his hair, turning the lights out and pulling Eggsy along with him. 

Eggsy's disappointment at having to return to school was temporarily forgotten. He'd remember in the morning, and make the usual complaints. He'd have time in class to remember the courtroom and his mother, too, and Harry's talk about jail, and fret over all of it. Right then, however, Eggsy's mind had no space to think about such things. A large, warm hand was wrapped around his own, and Eggsy could just barely see Harry's outline towering over him in the dark as he led him up the stairs. Harry squeezed once and then let go once they were outside the boy's room, and Eggsy slipped inside to go get his pyjamas.

Harry turned on the light in his own room. He had a dilemma. One that needed to be taken care of sooner than later. So while Eggsy was rummaging through his clothes in the guest room, Harry slipped into the bathroom and turned the water on. With deft fingers, he undid his trousers and took himself in hand, still insistently hard from their encounter on the couch and having Eggsy atop him afterwards. He nearly hissed at the feel of it. With a bit of lotion and a few hard pumps, it didn't take long for Harry to get himself worked up again. His thoughts were on the boy in the next room as his hand jerked as silently as possible, the way Eggsy had looked before, coming undone at Harry's touch, tiny body wrapped all around him, the _feel_ of Eggsy's small hardness in his hand. Harry came hard enough that every muscle in his body felt it, every inch of him tense, his fingers clawing at the ceramic basin of the sink. 

He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he looked...wrecked. Harry's fingers trembled when he forced his body to relax. He cleaned himself up quickly with a handful of tissues and then brushed his teeth, pretending that's what he'd been doing all along before he shut off the water and opened the bathroom door again. 

Just in time. Eggsy had just reached the bathroom door, clad in the new pyjamas Harry had bought him earlier that day. Rather than the too-long sleeves and trouser legs of the pyjamas he had borrowed yesterday, Eggsy now wore a set that was more suitable for his age. There was no longer any danger about his shirt or trousers falling off of him, but the exchange was hardly less titillating. A v-neck t-shirt with constellations on it drew Harry's eye right to Eggsy's exposed collarbone and neck, and the pyjama set featured close fitting shorts instead of baggy trousers.

Something must have shown in Harry's face - some sign of tension, or desire, or a hint of what he'd been up to. Eggsy's contented smile faded into concern as he looked up at his friend. "...are you alright?"

Harry shook himself. "Yes. Quite." He laughed at his own absurdity. "You look very delectable like that," Harry admitted, dropping his gaze for the briefest moment and tempering his smile almost shyly. When Eggsy blinked, harry leaned down and kissed his cheek. Harry meant it to be a peck, but he lingered instead, the warmth of afterglow in his stomach still making him feel a little dazed and indulgent. When he straightened, Eggsy didn't seem to know where to look, so Harry gave the boy the bathroom and went to his room, loosening his tie as he went. 

Eggsy lingered in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and savoring all the warm, pleasant feelings the evening had generated for him. He couldn't see what Harry saw in the bathroom mirror. Eggsy just thought he looked like himself, but if Harry thought he was beautiful... well, that worked out for the best, and he enjoyed hearing it and how Harry had expressed it with kisses and touches and looks. Eggsy had never thought things would turn out this well. After all the stress and hurt over the last few months, he finally felt like he had one certain, good, safe thing in his life to help see him through.

Eggsy finished rinsing out his mouth and turned out the light. Then he walked down the hall, away from his own bedroom and towards the doorway on the end that he'd been tempted to visit just last night.

Eggsy got quite a sight when he tentatively pushed back the door. Harry was standing in front of the mirror, already in his own pair of cotton pyjama bottoms, but his shirt hung loosely off his shoulder as he undid the last cuff link and shrugged out of it, folding it in half before setting it in the laundry hamper. His eyes met Eggsy's in the mirror and Harry knew what the boy would see without having to look himself--the long line of Harry's back and the lean muscle moving underneath his skin as he bent to shrug on his nightshirt, buttoning it up while pretending not to notice the way the boy was staring. Harry was never going to get tired of the tiny thrill of dressing, and undressing apparently, in front of Eggsy's eager eyes. 

Eggsy remembered to breathe again. His chest expanded, but he felt like his heart had too. Harry wasn't as perfect as the models or sports stars in some of the magazine's he'd looked at, but he was far closer than Eggsy thought he'd be, and besides that he was _Harry_. He'd gotten an eyeful of toned muscle, and a glimpse of a couple of scars. Both were curious, but perhaps not so much once Eggsy thought about it. Being a tailor didn't seem to be a particularly dangerous or physical job, but Harry had been in some kind of special forces before that. The scars were probably from back then, and it wasn't unlikely that Harry would keep himself in shape even though he wasn't a soldier anymore.

Finally Harry turned around and met Eggsy's gaze face to face. With a small smile, he patted the bed and pulled back the covers, motioning for Eggsy to join him in climbing up. It was a much higher step for Eggsy, but Harry only enjoyed watching the boy clamber up. He had to reach out and pull Eggsy down with him or the boy might have just sat there on his knees, staring. 

"Think you'll be able to sleep tonight?" Harry asked, wrapping an arm around Eggsy's middle and tempted, _so_ tempted, to let his hand run down Eggsy's arse and exposed thigh.

"Maybe." Eggsy would have had a difficult time lying to Harry. It was plain that he was excited and more than a little star-struck. Eggsy had nestled as close as he dared, not really knowing how these things were done. He'd never slept in the same bed with someone else that he could remember, and Eggsy thought it would be awfully difficult to sleep knowing what he did about what lay under Harry's shirt, or the fact that he could wake up in the middle of the night and watch Harry sleeping. The older man could snore, for all he knew. "I mean, I'll try. If I can't, I'll go back to my room, I guess."

Harry knew very well Eggsy wouldn't be going anywhere, but he smiled and nodded genially anyway. "Very well, then." 

Eggsy, even with half his face pressed into the pillow, was such a temptation for Harry's eyes to linger upon. He barely looked sleepy, too caught up in looking at Harry in return, but Harry knew Eggsy's body if not his mind had to be exhausted from the day. Harry brushed his fingers over Eggsy's cheek, meandering into his hair and down his neck before he reached behind himself and, reluctantly, turned off the light. Before Eggsy could wonder what to do, Harry drew the boy into his arms, fitting him snugly into the embrace. The was the perfect size for it, curled up in the curve of Harry's body without the danger of cutting off the flow of blood to Harry's arm. 

Harry pressed a kiss to one soft ear and whispered, "Goodnight, Eggsy." 

"G'night, Harry." Eggsy's breathing didn't slow for some time, but eventually exhaustion won out, even over the boy's excitement. Eggsy went limp and completely relaxed in Harry's embrace. His breathe tickled across Harry's arm, and his ribs expanded and contracted with a steady rhythm. He was so delicate, so vulnerable and trusting. Harry could have easily crushed him. He could have done whatever he wanted. Eggsy wouldn't have been able to escape, either physically or otherwise.

Harry waited a long time. Minutes ticked by until Eggsy's breathing deepened further, until his eyes began to move behind his eyelids and Harry knew he was good and under. 

Gently, ever so gently, Harry ran his fingers down Eggsy's spine, watching the boy's slackened face as he did so. He continued the motion and Eggsy didn't wake. Harry brushed his hair, trailed his fingers softly against Eggsy's temple, and still the boy didn't wake. With every touch, Harry grew a little bolder, thumb drawing down Eggsy's cheek until it pressed lightly against his lip. It was as soft as it had felt when Harry had kissed him and a low heat began to kindle in Harry's stomach. He drew his hand away to run down Eggsy's back again, this time lower, over his little round arse that was indeed as soft as it looked. Harry lingered there with a sigh before his fingers swept down to Eggsy's thigh, pushing the shorts up a little to touch bare skin. 

Harry closed his eyes with that sensation in mind, saving it to his memory before he drew his hand up again and folded it softly against the small of Eggsy's back. He fell asleep to dreams of the boy in his arms.

* * *

When Eggsy awoke hours later, it was to soft kisses against his cheek and neck and a hand that had somehow found its way under the back of his shirt. It was stroking up his side. 

Eggsy had never awoken like this. The hand didn't tickle, but it made him squirm all the same, pressing his legs against the mattress to arch against it until his eyes opened and his brain caught up with his body, Eggsy woke slowly, and surprise registered on his youthful face until he remembered what had happened the previous night, Once he did, affection filled his eyes. "Mornin', Harry. Guess you're not a snorer after all, huh?"

"I guess not," Harry mumbled from where he was kissing down Eggsy's collar bone. He glanced up to see the boy, sleepy eyes and mussed hair looking back down at him. 

It wasn't yet light out, still well before they had to be awake, but Harry had woken to his dreams and couldn't let it go. Eggsy was _right there_ lying beside him, and he wanted the boy so much. He kissed until he hit fabric and then proceeded down Eggsy's chest anyway, turning him gently onto his back so that Harry could lean over him, blankets sliding back from his shoulders but keeping Eggsy warm with his touch all the same. 

And Eggsy didn't struggle. He melted into the touches, looking up at Harry with trusting eyes. He had no notion of that sort of betrayal, or how sex could turn poisonous. Harry kissed him and desire lit him up from within, bringing a healthy flush to his cheeks and tenting his shorts. Eggsy looked perfectly content to let Harry continue, curious and wanting and only half-awake. "...do I get to wake up like this ev'ryday?"

"It's very likely," Harry admitted with a grin. His hands hooked around Eggsy's waist, pushing up his shirt so that Harry could touch more skin. It was unbelievably soft, softer than anything Harry had felt in recent memory, including the thousand-count bedsheets they currently rested upon. Harry ducked his head and pressed his mouth to the boy's chest and this time he wasn't subtle about it. His kisses were open mouthed, tongue brushing out to taste Eggsy as he moved lower. Harry's hands drew up the boy's back, an unconscious motion, ready to catch him if he pulled away. 

Eggsy wasn't awake enough to know how to react, let alone experienced enough. He let out a small moan and squirmed in Harry's grasp, his hands going to the dark tangle of hair in front of him. Whatever half formed thoughts Eggsy might have had about school that morning were thoroughly derailed by Harry's mouth trailing down his sternum. The stimulation began to wake him fairly quickly. Eggsy felt himself twitch against his shorts and he glanced down to watch Harry's progress with dazed eyes.

Harry slowed only when his mouth reached the hem of Eggsy's shorts. He scraped his teeth lightly over Eggsy's skin, hooking his fingers under the elastic waist before he looked up. Eggsy didn't look like he was awake enough to make any decisions on what he was or wasn't comfortable with. Harry could have easily pulled the fabric down without another thought. He could make Eggsy feel so good he wouldn't even think about, or have the time, to object. And Harry fully intended to. 

Their eyes met and Harry knew his purpose was plain in his gaze. Eggsy had to have read it, for the boy fixed on him with such intensity, not daring even to move. Harry drew the elastic down slowly, letting it brush against Eggsy's arousal while Harry's mouth descended again on salty sweet skin. Eggsy couldn't see what Harry was doing with his head in the way, but the boy could certainly _feel_ it. Harry pulled Eggsy's shorts all the way down to the boy's knees before he dipped his head even lower, brushing warm air over Eggsy's little, hairless cock. 

Eggsy was suddenly completely, utterly awake. His breath left him in a shuddering gasp. "... _oh_." Blood rushed lower, and Eggsy felt himself twitch just millimeters from Harry's mouth. That alone was enough to drive him wild. Just picturing what it would look like, with Harry's lips parted, swallowing him-  
Eggsy just about arched into him, and would have if Harry hadn't had a grip on him. The older man was currently teasing the skin everywhere but where Eggsy wanted it. The idea was intimidating, and Eggsy had no idea what he was really in for, but Harry's tongue ventured out to taste the little groove above his hip and Eggsy lost track of his thoughts. Lost track of his embarrassment, even, for he didn't remember that Harry hadn't seen him the previous night.

Harry felt the boy's breath catch when he swiped his tongue over the tip of Eggsy's cock. He let it linger there, feeling Eggsy tremble under his fingers, letting the boy get used to the sensation for a few seconds until he felt Eggsy twitch on his tongue. Harry dove in then. He wrapped his lips around Eggsy, flattening his tongue around the length of it, and _sucked_. He felt Eggsy's whole body clench, the muscles in the boy's legs drawing them taut under Harry's weight. With his hands around Eggsy's hips, Harry felt every tremble through his little body. It was magnificent. Harry couldn't help pressing his hips into the bed below him in sympathy and only just restrained from doing it again.

All of Eggsy's awareness drifted south. He couldn't even struggle, as much as his body wanted to twitch and squirm from the shock of stimulation. His eyes locked on Harry, blown wide and dark, and Eggsy wasn't able to help the whimper that escaped his throat as he watched Harry swallow him down with pleasure. He saw himself disappear between Harry's lips, and he just about lost himself. Eggsy's hands moved down to tangle in Harry's dark hair, and all he could seem to do was hold on.

Harry gave a soft groan from the back of his throat. Eggsy was practically twitching underneath him, trying to thrust his hips and also trying to restrain himself and not quite getting the rhythm of either. It was actually very sweet. Harry leaned his head back and let Eggsy see him smile around the boy's cock. He glanced up and their eyes caught before Harry went back to sucking. He was going too slow, but he knew by now that he couldn't drag this out for long before Eggsy would climax. Harry certainly had Eggsy's attention now, but he had other plans. 

Every other thought went out of the boy's head. He forgot his misgivings about returning to school. He forgot about his guilt regarding his mother. He forgot about his self-consciousness and his worries about how Harry might see him. Everything narrowed down to the older man between his legs, and his mouth, and his hands on his hips, and the way Harry had looked up at him. Eggsy's own feelings and his lust came up to the forefront, and after he saw that Harry was enjoying himself, it was all he could do not to grab onto the older man's head and give himself over to sensation. Everything felt amazing, and all of it was focused on Harry, and Eggsy wanted _more_.

Harry lifted his head when Eggsy began to tremble. The boy gave a soft whine and then Harry was right there beside him, pressing his body next to Eggsy's, pressing kisses to Eggsy's cheek before turning his head so that Harry could press kisses against his mouth. Harry turned Eggsy and pulled his hips back against Harry's, and for the first time, Eggsy felt him. Felt Harry's stiff hardness pressing against his rear, and one thing was immediately clear--it was _much_ larger than his own. Harry's kisses didn't stop trailing down his neck, and Harry's hands found their way under his shirt, one of them running up Eggsy's chest while the other moved down to his hip. 

Eggsy felt a spike of panic. Harry was keeping him drowning in endorphins, but he felt the pressure against his buttocks just as clearly as he felt Harry's hands sweeping over his chest and cupping his ribs, his hips, his arse. Eggsy's recollections of the books he'd read came flooding back. Everything within them seemed plausible for people who were more or less the same size, and even then the instructional book had warned that things would probably hurt and that care needed to be taken to avoid injury. Harry shifted against him and Eggsy felt his breath catch. Want flooded through him, but worry too. He couldn't imagine that Harry _wouldn't_ hurt him. He was just so much _bigger_.

"Shhh, Eggsy. It's okay," Harry's voice whispered into his ear. Harry's hand moved down between his legs, brushing gently, teasingly over Eggsy's arousal and drawing a whimper out of the boy that was half pleasure and half worry before Harry's hand dipped lower. Long fingers drew down the inside of Eggsy's thigh, parting it until Harry shifted. Eggsy felt the man undo his pyjama trousers behind him, and for some reason Harry licked his hand, but then it became clear. The wet head of Harry's cock pushed between Eggsy's thighs as Harry's fingers closed over Eggsy's arousal again, and then the man's voice was in his ear, hushing him softly. "Just this," Harry whispered. He sounded ragged. "Please, Eggsy, just this."

Eggsy felt dizzy, He could feel Harry between his thighs, feel the precum making them slick and Harry thrusting against him. He even felt the tip of Harry's cock brush between his cheeks, getting dangerously close to a very private spot and he had a brief moment of panic. He gasped and Harry caught his mouth, ate it up and pressed inward. Eggsy felt the warm, velvety texture of Harry's tongue sweep inside while his hand worked and then his legs parted. He wrapped around Harry as best he could.

It brought such a whimper from Harry that it almost didn't sound like him, but that sound told Eggsy he'd definitely done something Harry liked. Harry kissed his ear and pressed his mouth against Eggsy's neck. There was nothing chaste about it any longer, not with Harry's tongue tasting him, his teeth nipping at Eggsy's flesh, his body pressed tight to Eggsy's back, and his length driving between Eggsy's thighs. Harry never let go of him though. With fingers wet with saliva, he stroked Eggsy in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. Harry's free arm wrapped around Eggsy's torso, holding him to Harry like Harry couldn't get close enough or feared Eggsy would move. 

Eggsy was too inexperienced to last long. He gasped into Harry's ear, and then everything tightened. His spine archedm and his legs drew Harry closer, and he felt himself harden further still until he was twitching into Harry's hand. The older man held him throughout it all, tongue and mouth on his neck, fingers wrapped around his bare length, and his own cock sliding between his thighs while he came. Harry weighted him down, but not so much that he couldn't breathe. All Eggsy felt was warmth and pressure and Harry's breath on his neck and his cock between his legs.

Harry let go just before it became too sensitive. His hand gripped Eggsy's legs, pulling them even tighter together while Harry's thrusts picked up speed. He couldn't help turning into Eggsy, pressing the boy down just a little. Harry's soft pants grew louder. Eggsy was so pliant in his arms like this, letting Harry do what he would, but under all of it Harry could feel the thread of uncertainty still taut in Eggsy's body. Eggsy had never seen him before, not below the waist at least, and all he could do was glimpse and _feel_ Harry. 

Harry pressed just a little more, aware of his weight, but unable to help the temptation. His whole body was tight with desire and restraint. His fingers splayed against Eggsy's chest. He gripped the boy's thighs harder and when Eggsy squirmed, moving them together, Harry came hard between them with a gasp. 

Eggsy felt it. He noticed the moment Harry grew harder between his thighs and pressed him down against the mattress, and then a warm stickiness. Eggsy's eyes widened, but he couldn't see anything - or at least, not anything that wasn't Harry's body against him. His arms circled Harry's torso and he felt the older man twitch. He knew what was happening from the books he'd read, and conversations with his peers. Part of him was still frightened. Part of him was ecstatic.

Harry wanted him. _Really_ wanted him, enough that just thrusting against him was enough to make him come.

Harry came down from it slowly, blinking and sighing into Eggsy's neck. He shifted his weight off the boy, just enough to the side not to break the embrace, but far enough not to hurt Eggsy. Harry pulled his trousers up and then Eggsy's, cleaning the damp spot between the boy's thighs with the material. It was the only thing at hand. Harry found himself flushing before he realised it, and by then it was already too late. He turned to look at Eggsy and Eggsy could surely see it, so Harry smiled, pressed his hand to Eggsy's cheek, and searched the boy's face. 

True to his own insecurity and infatuation, Eggsy clung to Harry. He looked back at Harry with no small measure of awe, but there wasn't any hint of fear or disgust that Harry might have worried about. Eggsy's body pressed forward and fitted against him. Eggsy's face was flushed too, both from climax and everything else that had happened. Feeling how big Harry was had been intimidating, but Harry hadn't done anything to hurt him, and it was proof that their attraction was more equal. People could lie with their words, but lying with their bodies was more difficult.

When Eggsy finally gave Harry a small smile, Harry leaned in and kissed his forehead. Eggsy may have been greatly inexperienced, his imagination may not adhere exactly to reality, but Eggsy was getting used to this. 

Harry hummed and offered the boy a smile back, brushing his fingers through Eggsy's hair in gentle, reassuring touches. "Good morning." Harry's smile curved wider. His voice was still a little hoarse from sleep, but he sounded happy in that moment. 

Eggsy fixated on Harry's face and the touch of his hand. Harry’s weight was comforting, but his expression was more than that. Harry was making sure Eggsy was alright, even if he wasn't saying as much. Harry's sleep-disheveled hair was a bit ridiculous, as was his voice, but Eggsy loved it in that moment. "...m-mornin'." He shifted, and the feeling of the sticky dampness between his thighs made him blush and try to imagine what Harry looked like. "...is this what sleeping over is like every night?"

"It very well could be." Harry relaxed the more Eggsy did. "Worth the extra shower, I think." Harry closed his eyes and burrowed into the pillow between them, drawing his arm down Eggsy's back and letting himself be comforted just to know Eggsy was close and that the boy was still his. Harry could go back to sleep like this. Certainly he knew Eggsy could. He'd been all for getting out of school any way he could the night prior, and Harry's smile grew remembering it. Eggsy's pout warmed him inside before he opened his eyes again and found Eggsy watching him. The warmth didn't go away. Harry enjoyed the moment just a little longer before he leaned over and whispered into eggsy's ear. "Time to get up."

Eggsy immediately groaned. He didn't want to move. Not from this, and _certainly_ not to go sit through a bunch of classes that were going to bore him to tears. Or to face the questions his friends were going to have for him. Everyone would want to know what was going on and why he'd temporarily switched schools, and Eggsy didn't want to face it. Having Harry wrapped around him all day, or close by in all his finery, seemed much better than going back to brave the neglectful, bitter teaching staff and judgmental students "Do I gotta? Can't I have one day in the tailor shop with you, or somethin'?"

Harry kissed his ear. "Afraid not. You've been missing too much school as it is." He leaned up on one elbow and swept his hand down Eggsy's side, grinning as he patted the boy's rear. That got Eggsy's attention and Harry couldn't help chuckling before he pulled himself up and with one last brush of his lips against Eggsy's cheek, pushed the remaining covers back and turned the light on. 

It wouldn't be dark out for very much longer, and Harry was awake now. Impossible not to be after such a morning. He slid off the bed and brushed his fingers through Eggsy's hair. 

"You can rest until I get back, then the bathroom's all yours."

Eggsy groaned and turned over. His face was burrowed against the pillow, and he was oblivious to how tempting a sight he made - arse turned upright and curved beneath his brightly colored pants and shorts, with a delicate arch of back above and soft legs below. Harry could even see the damp circle between Eggsy's legs from where they'd rubbed against one another. The impulse to return and press the boy down against the mattress was overwhelming, and yet Harry turned and left, putting one foot in front of the other until he got to the bathroom and his hand closed around the showerhead faucet. 

Harry disrobed and stood under the hot water with his eyes closed for a good five minutes. He couldn't believe this morning. Every sensation from the water running down his face to the way he'd woken up hard from dreams of little Eggsy Unwin to the boy lying right there next to him, just waiting to be touched, all of it, was complete bliss. 

He washed and dried quickly after that. Brushing his teeth and shaving were almost thoughtless tasks. What was truly remarkable was how awake he was, and Harry strongly suspected being with Eggsy had much to do with it. He left the bathroom in his robe, light on and towel ready for his guest, before Harry returned to the bedroom to find Eggsy hadn't moved. 

Harry laughed softly and leaned over him, blowing warm air into his ear and making it tickle. "Shower's all yours. Come down for breakfast in fifteen."

Eggsy stirred and was treated to the sight of Harry moving about the bedroom, opening the closet and the dresser and pulling layers onto himself. Skin disappeared beneath fine woven fabrics, but not entirely; Eggsy could still make out the shape of Harry's body when everything was zipped up and buttoned, like his clothing was just another layer of skin. Eggsy watched Harry move and felt something warm stir in his chest. Something caused by more than simply following the outlines of the older man's body. When Harry looked down, Eggsy could see his neck crease. His skin was rougher. There was a slight softness to Harry's stomach despite the defined muscles and athletic build, and the dim light seemed to enhance the grooves in his face.

Eggsy thought he was gorgeous. He stared for as long as he could, and when Harry turned towards him with an expectant look and an arched brow, Eggsy scrambled out of bed. "Ok, ok. Right. I'll see you downstairs." Eggsy retreated down the hall to his room just long enough to snag a fresh set of clothes. Moments later, he had the shower running again.

Harry grinned and draped his tie and jacket over an arm before heading downstairs. He whipped up pancakes and coffee, wanting Eggsy to find something worth coming down for lest the boy be tempted to crawl back into bed after his shower. Harry was pleased, very pleased, knowing Eggsy was up there washing up, all wet and nude and enjoying the hot water as much as Harry had...Harry didn't need to see it. He had already. And he could. Whenever he wanted to now. Or almost whenever. It was a wonderful feeling, like walking on air. 

Eggsy washed quickly. He didn't need to linger just then, even though he wanted to. It was too soon to have a second round, though his thoughts stayed on Harry even so. He kept remembering the way Harry looked when he glanced up from between Eggsy’s legs, or afterwards when he'd crawled up and thrust between them. Eggsy's eyes shut tightly and he rinsed off as fast as he could, drying off and throwing on his new clothes.

Even those brought other memories with them, of Harry watching him pick out what he wanted and smiling back, giving his approval. Eggsy pressed his palm to his mouth and muffled a groan. Harry might be sending him back to school, but he was going to be distracted all day.

By the time Eggsy came downstairs, the pancakes were ready and steaming on a plate next to a small pile of sausages. Harry dished up several for them both, with juice for Eggsy and coffee for himself, before he sat down to the table, waiting expectantly for Eggsy to follow. 

Eggsy looked...very good in his new clothes. Harry let his gaze linger on the boy as he sat down and didn't try to hide it. "I'll have to get you a key," Harry mused. "I'll pick you up tonight, but I'll be working late quite often. Do you think you can manage the bus back?"

Eggsy took a minute to respond. He'd already started digging in and couldn't manage talking around a mouth full of pancakes. "Um... yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. Mum worked late all the time and I had to let myself in. I just gotta figure out which bus to take now, and where to get off." Another bite of pancakes, and then Eggsy was looking more closely at Harry. Nothing about him looked off, but something was odd. Eggsy couldn't quite put his finger on it. "People are that pushy about clothing? I thought your shop closed pretty early."

"We close to the _public_ by late afternoon, but work doesn't stop then and there. And we often take special appointments for clients who are willing to pay for it." Harry sipped his coffee and took a bite of pancake, unfazed. "I'll help you go through the map tonight. We can find a route and backup if need be. And you'll have your phone as well." Harry knew he didn't look worried, and indeed he wasn't. He had faith Eggsy could get from his school to Harry's house without trouble. He'd seen the boy do it often enough both with his friends and by himself. Still, he found himself considering getting Eggsy a taser. 

"Clients who'd mind me waitin' and doin' homework in back?" Eggsy shot Harry an optimistic look, which wilted slightly at Harry's expression. "Ok, fine. I'll wait back here. Just, I dunno, let me know if I'm gonna be waiting too long? If it's too late I'll make myself something in the kitchen instead of waiting all night for you to get home. Mum used to have that and be too tired to make dinner, so I made toasted cheese sandwiches or something for the both of us."

Harry nodded and lifted the corner of his mouth. "That can certainly be arranged. And if I come home and it's not too late to wait, I can bring something along. You won't have to wait up every night, but you should know that it'll be fairly common." Harry drained the rest of his coffee and dug into his pancakes. He knew that life with him wasn't going to be a complete fantasy, but there were things he could do still to keep Eggsy happy. And perhaps redirect his phone line while he was away so that Susan wouldn't check in on Michelle's orders and find Harry had left her nephew alone in the house. 

"Okay." Eggsy seemed mollified by that, at least. He cleaned off the rest of his plate quickly. He spent more time staring at Harry then not, and both of their smiles grew wider in fractions until Eggsy found himself laughing and Harry following not long after. Eggsy's voice was higher pitched and joyful, while Harry's was a bit more hesitant but deep and supportive, wrapping around the boy and warming the room with the sound.

Eggsy bussed their dishes to the kitchen sink like Michelle had taught him. He barely left Harry's side, pouting once more when Harry made him fetch his backpack and put on his jacket, and then they were out the door. Eggsy found he couldn't be too disappointed; he was getting to see his friends again, after all, and then he had Harry to come home to.

Driving to school in the early morning hours through the congestion of rush hour was a new experience for both of them. Harry had never driven anyone to school before, much less been on the grounds of one in years. Eggsy was used to taking the bus. It was...almost a treat for Harry, spending a few last minutes with Eggsy before he saw him off for the day. 

Harry squeezed his hand and they shared a look before Eggsy got out of the car. Harry felt confident that he managed to convey just how fond he was of the boy without being able to show it just then, not with other parents dropping off their children all around them. He gave Eggsy a quick wave that the boy returned before he jogged off to join the hordes of other children making their way inside. 

When Harry pulled away, heading back south to Savile Row, he thought he might have been living in a dream.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Extra warning on this chapter** for torture, (mostly offscreen) rape, and minor character death. See end notes for further details.

The dream lasted through the next few days. Eggsy wasn't the least bit put out at having to return to school, or the catch-up homework he'd received. His friends had been impressed by his new clothes and sympathetic to his stories about life with his aunt, and when Harry came to pick him up Eggsy was upbeat and talkative. Dinner was a relaxed affair that flowed into homework and a segment of a film; Eggsy curled up against Harry's side until he began to doze off and Harry was forced to carry him up to bed.

They fell into a routine, with Harry waking the boy with his mouth and Eggsy clinging to him while Harry slid between his thighs. They had breakfast together before Eggsy's new bus came to pick him up, negating Harry's need to drive him, and then each of them would go about their day. Eggsy grew used to having to let himself into the house with the new key Harry had made for him. The house was strangely empty without Harry there, but not _entirely_ \- Mr. Pickle was always happy to see Eggsy and keep him company, and he needed walks besides. Harry's neighbors quickly grew used to the sight of the boy tugging Mr Pickle along on his leash.

So far the balance between work and home had not brought Harry any great difficulty either. Which was as well as he'd expected, even if he knew it wouldn't last forever. Overnight missions were almost always planned in advance and there were enough knights for the work to go around. On the nights Harry was hung up meeting some mark or scoping some location, or even a few times flying off to neighbouring countries for half a day and then flying back, he always managed to call Eggsy if he was going to be late. 

On those nights, Harry redirected his regular phone line to his cell, and any messages that came from Susan rang until they went to his voicemail. Diligently, however, he always made sure to call her back when he returned home and Eggsy could sit beside him and talk, telling her about how his day was and how things were with Harry. He always asked about his mum, too, and Susan's news so far was always the same: the investigation was pending, but Michelle was managing. 

Harry knew she regularly took calls from Dean, who, while in prison, needed someone on the outside. Michelle in turn needed his help to convey to the authorities that she was ignorant to his dealings. It was all well and good for Harry that the two began to lean on each other more and more. 

One night, when Harry was late getting back, Eggsy was a bit more subdued than normal. A few questions about his day revealed nothing amiss, and Harry couldn't detect any lies, but Eggsy watched him with thoughtful eyes whenever he believed Harry couldn't see him. Whatever was on Eggsy's mind, he didn't reveal it during dinner, or afterwards when he pitched in to help Harry clear up.

So Harry let Eggsy examine him. He went about as though it didn't spark his instincts, but out of the corner of his eye, Harry watched Eggsy watch him. He had thought about trying something new that night as they sat on the couch, leaving the light on, putting the boy in his lap and bringing Eggsy off with him. Or perhaps getting Eggsy under him and sucking the boy off before he helped Eggsy return the favour with his hands as he was still quite shy. But this curious mood redirected Harry's plans for the evening and he knew he wouldn't be able to let it go without discovering what was on Eggsy's mind. 

Harry stretched out on the couch in his usual spot, waiting for Eggsy to either follow or hesitate. 

Eggsy followed, but slowly. He didn't take his place next to Harry right away. His gaze traveled over the older man first, drinking in the sight and gauging how he was feeling before Eggsy closed the last bit of distance. The sofa cushions dipped, and Eggsy settled down, feet tucked up and nestled against Harry's shoulder.

Whatever thoughts Eggsy had had percolating must have been bothering him for most of the day. Eggsy snuck one more look at Harry out of the corner of his eye. "...um. Can... I ask you a question, Harry?"

"Of course you can." Harry shifted to wrap his arm comfortably around Eggsy before he grabbed the telly guide off the coffee table and began to peruse it, more to make the boy relax than to find anything interesting to watch. Harry kept his body loose, every detail he projected outwardly relaxed, but inwardly he sifted through a multitude of causes for Eggsy's sudden discomfort. 

"Do you... um." Eggsy fished for words, but he only seemed awkward and shy. Not scared, or at least not scared of Harry. Eggsy took a deep breath and tried again, letting the words spill out instead of considering them too much. "I just... I really like what we've been doing. A _lot_. I really do. But... I mean, you've seen me quite a few times now, sort of... I mean, you kinda have to, considering-"

Eggsy blushed, momentarily thrown off track by the memory of Harry's mouth around his cock. "But you're always careful, and I haven't seen you. Just your shirt off. You don't seem to mind, but... I was just wondering why?"

Harry blinked and dropped the guide back on the table before he turned to look at Eggsy. "That's what you're worried about?" Harry broke into a grin before he placed his hands on either side of Eggsy's face and kissed the boy. "Come here." He drew Eggsy to sit in his lap so that Harry could better look at him. "Would you like to try something else?" Harry chased Eggsy's eyes so he couldn't look away. "I've been...taking all this a bit slow. You were very shy at first. I didn't want to frighten you."

Eggsy nodded. Talking about this was difficult and embarrassing. Sex was something you weren't supposed to talk about, or at least that was what society said. Society also said that Harry and he were not supposed to be doing this at all. "Yeah, something else would be nice. Not that I don't like what we've been doing, 'cause I do."

Harry got a knowing light in his eye and Eggsy found himself flustered and blushing all over again. Having a much more experienced boyfriend had benefits, but it also made Harry a great deal more intimidating. "I like that we've been going slow, too. I don't really know what kind of stuff I like or want yet. I just felt kinda bad, y'know? Like, wondering if you liked touching me but didn't want me touching you for some reason."

"Oh no, Eggsy. I would very much like for you to touch me." Harry didn't worry now about the way the direction of their conversation was starting to arouse his interest, rather noticeably, beneath where Eggsy sat. "I had thought about it while we sat here, you know." Harry drew forward and brought his voice to a whisper. "Whether you would let me spread you out on this sofa. ...whether you'd let me wrap your hand around my cock and show you how to touch me. Do you think you'd like that?" Harry bit softly at the lobe of Eggsy's ear. 

Eggsy's eyes had grown wide. His earlier fears were put to rest now; after that, worried that Harry didn't want to be seen or didn't like the idea of Eggsy touching him back were pretty firmly unravelled. The images Harry's words brought to mind, though... Eggsy hadn't seen him, but he'd _felt_ him every morning and seen a bit of what Harry looked like above the waist. He'd wondered and fantasized, and now Harry was giving him the chance to look _and_ touch, and maybe even things up a bit between them.

Because it wasn't fair. Things weren't equal, not so long as Harry could see and touch and taste him and Eggsy couldn't do the same. Even if he was a little frightened by how much bigger Harry was than him and how things might work.

Eggsy's throat closed up, but he let out a small gasp and nodded. Harry's tongue followed the edge of his ear and made it difficult to find the right words. "Y-yeah. _Fuck_ , Harry, I mean-... s-sorry. I just, I wanna learn."

Harry laughed. "Don't censor yourself on my account. I like your filthy mouth." He nuzzled and kissed Eggsy's cheek before pulling back just enough to see the boy. Eggsy sported colour high in his cheeks again. Harry decided he liked that look on Eggsy very much. Eggsy shifted and Harry felt it, and this time he didn't try to hide the sensation. He caught Eggsy by the hips, keeping him in place, and closed his eyes. Harry breathed out slowly. Very deliberately, he pressed his hips up under Eggsy. "You can feel what you do to me, yes?" He felt more than heard the boy gasp in return. "And you'd like to feel a little more?"

It was flattering, being wanted. Particularly when so many other things made Eggsy feel unwanted and a burden. Harry didn't complain about how much he ate, or how expensive his clothes were. He didn't invade his privacy and comb through the room he'd been given, or criticize his sexuality or his choice of friends. Harry wanted him there, enough to be physically affected, and enough to go fight for him in court. Eggsy's face felt like it was burning, and he lost his nerve for a second and hugged Harry tight, his face hidden against the older man's chest.

"Yeah. And I want to touch you. It just... I feel weird, with you touching me and I can't touch you back." Eggsy's words were mumbled against Harry's shirt front. 

Harry chuckled and kissed the top of Eggsy's head. "We can certainly remedy that. You've gotten me all worked up now, after all. Would you like to go upstairs?" Harry wouldn't have minded staying right there on the couch, but upon further reflection he decided that his bed would make a much more comfortable setting for Eggsy's explorations. One that would allow them greater range of movement as well. If Harry was very lucky, he could be shedding both of their clothes before the night was through. 

Eggsy nodded again. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. It seemed too forward to tell Harry that he wanted to look at and touch his cock, or see him nude, or be told more. Harry seemed confident and comfortable, but Eggsy was anything but. He had no experience. He felt self-conscious next to Harry. Harry was so much bigger and more knowledgeable. Eggsy had to look up, even when they were both sitting, and everything about Harry was bigger. His hands, his mouth, his cock. Harry had never done anything threatening, but Eggsy still felt lesser.

Harry's fingers lifted his chin and the man caught his eyes. Eggsy may have been nervous, but there was a mischievous glint in Harry's gaze. "Come on, then." 

Harry lifted him right up off the couch, catching Eggsy in his arms and wrapping his legs around Harry's waist, and Harry didn't hide how much he enjoyed it for the entire trek up the stairs. Eggsy had been carried in Harry's arms before, but never quite with this intention behind it. 

The first thing Harry did was close the shades. With the lights on and the early fall of darkness at this time of year, it didn't make much difference to the light in the room, and yet the significance twisted Eggsy's gut into knots. Harry set him down on the bed, and then Harry sat down next to Eggsy and let his fingers go to his tie, loosening it even farther than he'd done when he'd come home that evening, sliding the knot free and pulling it down his shoulders. 

Eggsy watched in breathless anticipation. Harry's fingers worked slowly down the buttons of his shirt, revealling an ever widening amount of skin. Eggsy wasn't able to keep himself from staring. Luckily, Harry seemed to find that flattering, or at least amusing. His cuffs were the last to go, and he drank in Eggsy's slack jawed looked before shrugging out of his shirt and bending down to press a kiss to Eggsy's mouth.

The boy didn't know where to look. Harry trailed away from his mouth to tease his neck and ears and chest, and so much bare skin was _right there_... ending at the waistband of Harry's trousers and a cut that was no longer leaving much to the imagination, given the tension of the fabric. Eggsy wondered for a few moments whether he was already allowed to touch, then swallowed down his courage and let his fingers drift towards the zipper and button holding his curiosity at bay.

Harry, however, was not about to let himself be the only one of the two of them undressed. He tugged off Eggsy's light jacket, interfering briefly with his progress at Harry's zipper, but left Eggsy's hands to explore after that. Harry didn't stare at him either, which was a small relief. Harry returned his mouth to Eggsy's neck and let his hands wander up the boy's shirt. 

When Eggsy got the zipper all the way down, Harry shifted his hips to give him better access. He moved his mouth to Eggsy's ear so he could hear as well as see what he was doing to Harry, even if Eggsy hadn't even properly touched him yet. 

Harry's trousers still got in the way, just not as much. The fabric parted, giving Eggsy a tantalizing view of Harry's waist, and the way his hips tapered, and the growing interest straining the grey pants underneath. Eggsy couldn't help but stare a bit at the damp circle near the tip that was only growing larger. His hand reached out, and Harry shifted the moment Eggsy touched him. His fingertips touched sticky dampness and silken fabric. Eggsy could only imagine what Harry might look like underneath.

Harry sighed into Eggsy's ear. "That feels exquisite." He caught the boy's eyes darting toward him before they shied away from his face. Harry grinned into Eggsy's neck before he lightly scraped his teeth there. 

Harry toed off his shoes and helped Eggsy along, lifting himself enough to slip the waist of his trousers down his hips and step out of them. Only his pants remained and they left very little to the imagination. 

Eggsy's breath shortened. Taking himself in hand was one thing. Imagining trying to take Harry in hand was another. There was no way that one hand could possibly reach all the way around. He'd have to use both. Harry's voice in his ear was sending goosebumps across the boy's skin and shivers down his spine. Eggsy let his thumb slide over the damp spot and the resulting sound Harry made send a jolt of lust and fright through him. Eggsy was used to Harry being gentle and overly considerate, but something about the situation made him feel like he was just on the other side of something dangerous.

Harry's hand closed over Eggsy's. He moved Eggsy's palm over the hardened length beneath the last thin layer of fabric and Eggsy could feel the shape of it like never before. Harry's kisses didn't stop until he hooked his finger in the waistband of his pants and finally drew back the last layer between them. 

Eggsy was absolutely right, Harry was much, much bigger. There was no comparison. Fully erect as he was, the head of his cock stood out dark and pink and leaking a little at the very tip. Eggsy could tell that was a sign Harry was very turned on. When Eggsy hesitated, Harry's hand caught his again and brought them together down to touch the shaft. 

Eggsy didn't know what he'd been expecting. It was like touching himself, in a way, and yet completely different, because it wasn't himself and Harry was so much bigger. There was more to touch, and Harry's skin seemed hotter, and yet there was the same softness to the skin, even though it was slicker from precum. Eggsy was glad Harry was guiding him, else he might have lost his nerve. He was staring, and he couldn't help it. He was remembering illustrations from the books he'd read.

"My dear boy, you are going to drive me to madness," Harry had no sooner purred than Eggsy found himself lying on his back, Harry above him, pushing the hem of his shirt up and above his head. 

Harry became intent on undressing Eggsy. His hands went to the button of Eggsy's trousers. Harry undid it and didn't bother with the rest, just tugged them down Eggsy's hips along with his pants. A devilish grin formed across Harry's face as he did so, and soon enough, Eggsy was just as bare. Only then did Harry slow down. He came to lay beside Eggsy, running a hand up the boy's side and taking him in just as Eggsy had done with Harry moments ago. Harry drew his fingers down Eggsy's hip, teasingly brushing them lower and lower. 

"I'd eat you all up if I could," Harry admitted softly. 

The admission broke Eggsy out into gooseflesh again. His gaze flickered up towards Harry's face, and something about it made him uneasy. There was something about Harry's smile and the look in his eyes that made Eggsy feel far more vulnerable than he usually felt. Harry wasn't even doing anything, but he gave the impression that he was about to pounce at any moment. 

"Don't... you do that already though?" Eggsy thought of their morning routines and blushed, and his gaze was drawn lower again. Harry was barely circled by his palm, and Eggsy tried to imagine doing to him what Harry did in the mornings, and failed. He didn't think Harry could fit in his mouth. He felt a bit frightened to even try.

"Oh no," Harry leaned closer, lifting himself just enough to press kisses along Eggsy's jaw until he could whisper against the boy's mouth. "We've barely even begun." And with that, Harry's fingers closed around Eggsy's cock and Harry's weight shifted, drawing himself up to press against Eggsy, side by side, just a little higher so Eggsy didn't have to reach so far. It didn't take much for him to lean over Eggsy, nor for him to roll his hips into the boy's hand, but he seemed intent that Eggsy should enjoy this too, and his slow strokes never faltered. Harry set a pace for Eggsy to follow with them. 

Harry wasn't smothering him, he wasn't putting all of his weight on Eggsy's chest so he couldn't draw air, but the boy found himself gasping for breath. Harry's brown eyes seemed darker and more intent than usual. His hand wrapped around Eggsy's cock without any trouble, but when he _moved_ \- Eggsy felt the shaft in his hand slide, the foreskin moving back to reveal more of the darkened head. A few thrusts like that, and Eggsy was having trouble holding on. His second hand joined his first and Harry made a noise of approval. Eggsy laced his fingers together, but it was difficult to know what to do. Everything was at a different angle than what he normally did for himself.

Harry rested his weight on one shoulder in order to free his other hand. He wrapped it around Eggsy's, helping him along as their rhythm quickened. Harry let out a soft groan and kissed him. He opened Eggsy's mouth with soft nips and then Harry's tongue found its way inside, a strange and sensual counterpoint to the heated sensations his fingers were drawing out of Eggsy below. Harry pressed against him like he wanted more, like he couldn't get enough of Eggsy even as he increased the pace. 

Harry wanted to say so many things, all of it he knew would frighten the boy. It was still too early. Eggsy could be brave, but in this he needed guidance. So Harry gritted his teeth and spoke what he wanted to in gasps and whispers of encouragement. 

Eggsy felt overwhelmed as it was. Harry's tongue in his mouth was new and strange, and not as off-putting as he thought it might have been from the descriptions in the books. Strange, and _wet_ , and it only served to remind him of how much bigger Harry was than him, but not unpleasant. Even that reminder was starting to become something of a turn-on; Eggsy knew on some level that Harry could do anything to him and he wouldn't be able to fight back, and something about that made him want to get closer.

Harry's tongue, however... The older man delved into his mouth nearly in time with the shift of his hips. Eggsy felt the shaft trapped between his hands grow slicker and slide back and forth, but Harry's _mouth_ reminded him of everything else he'd seen: images in the instructional book Harry had bought for him detailing how men had penetrative sex, and how enjoyable it was for both partners, and photographs of artwork taken from old Greek vases and frescoes. 

Eggsy realized Harry was quite possibly thinking of the same thing when Harry turned over him, pressed against Eggsy, careful not to smother him, but there was no helping the way Harry loomed over him. He fitted his hips in between Eggsy's, leaving just enough room for their hands, but not enough for Eggsy's legs and he had to spread them for Harry, which only seemed to get Harry even harder. The only times he stopped kissing Eggsy was to glance down between them, watching himself slip between their hands and feel Eggsy hard in his other. Then Harry did something strange. He let his fingers slip lower, loosening his grip on Eggsy long enough to slide behind his balls and press just there. Harry's hand was large enough that he used the flat of his palm to keep teasing Eggsy's cock, but his fingers found a new and very sensitive spot. 

Eggsy squirmed and gasped, partly from anxiety and partly from the sensation. He'd touched the same spot before, just from washing and regular exploration, but Harry was doing _something_ different. The pressure sent tingles of pleasure through him, up his cock and also in the other direction, down into the pool of heat at his core and setting off a dull ache. Harry's fingers rubbed gently, back and forth, and Eggsy had to close his eyes and break off the kiss with a whine.

"Remember that feeling," Harry whispered into his ear and didn't let up. Eggsy could feel the thrusts of Harry's hips turn rigid. Harry sounded composed, but everything his body gave Eggsy said otherwise and Eggsy knew he was having trouble holding on. Harry ducked his head, scraped his teeth against Eggsy's collarbone in a way that was just a little too rough before he soothed the spot with his tongue. Harry whimpered and kissed along Eggsy's neck like he couldn't stop. His thrusts became focused and his hand over Eggsy's squeezed just a little harder, turned the pace just a little faster, and then Harry rocked his hips down and he was coming, spilling into both their hands. 

The feel of it was a shock. Eggsy had only a moment to notice Harry turn a bit harder beneath his palms and twitch, and then hot liquid slipped through his fingers and onto his stomach and chest. Eggsy glanced down in time to watch the last of it spill out between his fingers while Harry's breath washed over his neck and turned into a kiss. 

Eggsy's torso was a mess. He let go of Harry's cock and parted his fingers, watching the cum stretch between them in sticky strands and run down his hands.

Harry grinned and lifted himself to see better. "Couple years yet before that'll happen to you," he told Eggsy and then moved down the boy's body. Harry kissed his hip and that was all the warning Eggsy got before a hot tongue was wrapping around his cock, just like Harry did at night sometimes, but this time Eggsy got to see it quite clearly. When Eggsy's hips bucked instinctively, Harry pinned him down. He didn't just hold Eggsy there though. Harry's hands wrapped around his hips, reaching back to squeeze his arse while Harry sucked harder. Then one of Harry's hands came down again to find that spot just behind Eggsy's balls and he pressed there lightly in time with the strokes of his tongue. 

Eggsy's cry was a choked off thing. _Seeing_ Harry swallow him in the light, rather than the darkness of night or early morning, made the feeling more intense. He watched himself disappear, sliding in and out between Harry's lips, and all the while the older man's hands were elsewhere. Each press of his fingers brought an answering hunger that built until Eggsy couldn't take it anymore and began to squirm. He needed more, and Harry wasn't letting him have it. Hands held him down whenever he tried to thrust upwards, and Harry's mouth slowed down, drawing the sensation out until Eggsy began to whimper.

Harry worked him like that for another minute or two before he pulled off. He reached into the bedside table for something Eggsy couldn't see, but then Harry was at his ear again. Eggsy heard a faint snap, like that of a bottle cap, and then Harry's fingers, slick with some kind of gel wrapped around him and continued their lazy stroking. 

"There is something else I can do for you," Harry said softly. "If you trust me."

It was so difficult for Eggsy to think clearly. Pleasure was humming through his veins, and want, and _need_. Harry was right there, as gorgeous as he'd ever been in Eggsy's imagination - more so, because he was real. Eggsy's imagination had never quite caught the mischievous twist to Harry's smile, or the way his brown eyes lit up with warmth or turned black and earthy with want. One of Harry's fingers circled the head of Eggsy's cock, and his thumb gently ran over the slit, and Eggsy just about arched off the bed. "Wh-....what...?"

Harry's fingers dipped and pressed again to that spot that made Eggsy squirm. "This...." Harry didn't let Eggsy look away. "feels even better from the inside." He pressed again to illustrate and watched Eggsy's spine bend. Harry wondered in time just how far he could make it go if he really tried. If Eggsy was willing, if Eggsy trusted him enough, he had a fair idea. His gaze rose again to find Eggsy, wide eyed and staring with a lovely flush to his cheeks while his body still worked to find the climax it was so close to receiving. 

Eggsy didn't know if he could. Other people seemed to enjoy it, from what it looked like in the books. People wouldn't do things like that for no reason.

And yet, there were all the little things he'd heard from adults and other kids. _Pillowbiter_. _Fudgepacker_. All sorts of things, and more fixated on the man who was submissive than the one who was dominant. He was already submissive, really, just letting Harry even do the things they'd been doing, and that made shame settled into his core like a rock, even if he knew it wasn't anything to be ashamed of. He wasn't supposed to want any of this - another man, or another man who was so much older. He wasn't supposed to think about a cock up his arse and get turned on by the idea.

But Harry was carrying on as if there was nothing wrong, like he'd done all of this before. Maybe he had. His hand was still moving, slow and slick from whatever had been in the bedside table. Eggsy was afraid, but he wanted to trust the older man so badly. "...that won't work, it... it won't fit," Eggsy finally murmured, averting his eyes and feeling another wave of shame and fear ripple through him.

"A finger will." Harry searched out his eyes again, cocking his head to catch Eggsy's gaze. "With lube, it won't even hurt. It'll feel a little strange at first, but I promise you, Eggsy, it does feel very good. With the sensations combined...," Harry narrowed his eyes and let himself imagine what Eggsy might look like writing beneath him, back arching like he'd done just minutes ago. Harry imagined how it would feel to be _inside_ the boy. Harry smiled and let mischief into his gaze. Eggsy had rarely been able to resist a challenge. "I dare say I could have you begging my name before the night is over."

Eggsy debated with himself. Harry's bet was tempting, just to try to prove him wrong. The hand on his cock, and the fingers pressed just behind his balls, was only making the ache inside of him worse. He even liked the image of what it might be like to have Harry inside of him. Eggsy just didn't know if he could _do_ it. He turned worried eyes back on Harry. "...you won't... make fun of me, after?"

That had obviously not been the question Harry was expecting. That Eggsy saw Harry double take was a triumph in and of itself. "And why on earth would I do that?" Harry returned the question. "For enjoying this? For giving in to a desire I share as well? For seeing you come undone so magnificently under my hands? I don't know how you could think I'd think less of you for wanting to explore such things that would give us both pleasure." Harry slowed his stroking and pressed a kiss to the corner of Eggsy's mouth. 

Eggsy's eyes closed. Harry's lips were rougher than his own, but that only made them better somehow, the contrast sending a tingle down his spine. Harry waited for an answer, and after a few seconds Eggsy sighed. He still had trouble looking directly at the older man. "Just... people don't like two men together, but they think it's _worse_ if... um, if you're the one who-"

Eggsy couldn't make himself say the words. He swallowed. "People make fun of the man on the bottom, like he's worse."

Harry brushed the sweat damp hair back from Eggsy's forehead and looked into his eyes. "Eggsy, let me be absolutely clear. I do not give a single shit what those people think. They are idiots who don't know what they're talking about. You will grow up and get stronger and then you can kick the shit out of them and then let them tell you who the lesser party here is. You don't owe them a thing." The corner of Harry's mouth twitched upward. "Only yourself, to do whatever it is you would truly like to do."

Eggsy finally looked back. Vulnerability was writ across his face, and want. When Eggsy couldn't see anything from Harry but quiet support, the boy worried at his lower lip. Sticky hands touched Harry's sides and held him close, not that Eggsy wasn't quite so worried about Harry's opinion of him changing. "Are you sure it won't hurt? I mean... maybe it doesn't, usually, but... I'm kinda... small," he whispered.

"It'll feel odd, and your muscles will stretch. Lube works wonders, but if it does hurt too much, you can tell me and I'll stop." Harry let his fingers resume their gentle press on Eggsy's perineum, stimulating the prostate from the outside. "And I'll do my very best to make it painless." Harry smiled softly, feeling Eggsy's trust in him crest by degrees. The boy had trusted him so much thus far; it made him warm inside and, in spite of all his efforts to procure that trust, Harry couldn't help feeling a bit of awe. He didn't want to analyse why he should feel that way over Eggsy trusting him just now, however, and shifted his thoughts back to the present. 

"...okay." Eggsy didn't look away. His eyes followed Harry, darkened by lust. Lust, in itself, was an unusual sight to see on a child's face, and one that Harry drank in to remember later. The boy squirmed a bit when Harry retrieved the little bottle of lube and cold fingers returned to heated skin, but they warmed soon enough. Eggsy writhed again once Harry's fingers moved a little lower and began to circle, and a sliver of fear reappeared.

Harry would have liked to lay down by Eggsy's side, but the boy needed distraction more than anything else. Instead, Harry trailed kisses down his stomach, enjoying the feel of Eggsy breathing in and out so deeply. If he could see Eggsy flustered like this every day, it still wouldn't be enough. He slid the lube along his finger between Eggsy's cheeks, and found that tempting ring of muscle. Eggsy shifted and Harry placed a kiss to the dip in his groin. He didn't want to be too apparent in his bid to distract Eggsy. He just had to be ready. With more lube, he circled the boy's hole and gently, very gently, slipped a finger inside. At the same time, Harry circled his tongue around Eggsy's cock and stilled his finger, just letting it sit there while Eggsy got used to the sensation and received a bit of pleasure in return.

Eggsy felt on the verge of panic. All of his muscles had clenched upon feeling intrusion, and Harry's mouth was only a partial distraction. Part of his mind was fixed on the sensation and, understandably, worried. That was a delicate area of the body, one that was very easily injured. Harry had told him to _trust_ him, but that was hard when he'd never felt something like this before. Eggsy could feel the rest of Harry's hand too, warm and curled just below his arse.

Closing his eyes didn't help. Eggsy glanced down instead. Watching what Harry was doing was intense in a different way, but less than just leaving himself blind and only concentrating on sensation. Looking down let him see Harry and lock eyes with him, at least.

Harry didn't look away. He looked like he could hold Eggsy there in that moment with little more than his will and his hands. 

Once it was clear that Eggsy wasn't going to freak out just yet, Harry gave the boy another swipe of his tongue. In thanks, in reassurance, to distract him, Eggsy didn't know, but then Harry's finger moved. He was careful not to drag it any more than he needed to against the sensitive ring of muscle it had breached to invade Eggsy's body. Instead, Harry pressed up just a little, stroking inside Eggsy, like he was searching...and then Eggsy felt _exactly_ what it was Harry was looking for. 

Harry got quite a sight. Eggsy went wide-eyed and jerked, hips tilting and legs pressing against the bed, shock written across his face. His lips parted and he barely snuck a breath in before Harry gave another gentle stroke with the pad of one fingertip and all of that air left Eggsy in a moan. Discomfort and strangeness was quickly forgotten. What Harry was doing hadn't _stopped_ feeling odd, but the pleasure outweighed the strange pressure and the sense that Eggsy was being invaded. "... _oh_."

Harry released Eggsy's cock just long enough to shoot him a wicked smile. "'Oh', indeed," Harry whispered into Eggsy's hip as he continued to stroke, and then his mouth found Eggsy's cock again and Harry's tongue and finger began a slow, deliberate campaign to unravel Eggsy completely. Harry didn't pick up the frantic pace he'd finished himself off with. What he was doing to Eggsy was so much worse. And _better_. It was hard to tell. 

Harry hooked his arms over Eggsy's legs so he couldn't move them. All he could do was arch his back and squirm, riding into the gentle slide of Harry's finger and the hot, sucking pressure of his mouth. 

Nothing he did could make Harry go faster. He couldn't squirm to get a bit more friction or suction, couldn't arch to force that fingertip where he suddenly wanted it. Harry vastly outweighed him, and Harry wanted to draw this out.

Eggsy began to think he was going to lose his mind. Whenever he felt pressure building like he was getting close to completion, Harry backed off. His finger and mouth slowed, or stopped completely for a few seconds. He ignored Eggsy's whines and, once the boy was no longer riding the edge, he started again. Eggsy was past thinking about embarrassment or even propriety; after a few rounds of teasing and his fingers digging into the bedsheets, they twined into the older man's hair instead. Even tugging there didn't help. Harry only went as fast as he wanted to go, and all Eggsy could do was hold on.

All, that is, until he started to beg. " _God_... Harry, _please_ , I _can't_ …."

Eggsy _felt_ the way Harry groaned around his cock. The man pulled off to look up at him from beneath dishevelled hair, the stroke of his finger unrelenting. "Say that again," Harry whispered. With that look on his face, that intent stare, with Eggsy's hands fisted in his hair and his eyes glinting beneath normally soft brows, Harry looked like something Eggsy had only caught glimpses of. Harry bent down again, but he kept his head tilted up, never breaking their eye contact, not even when he darted his tongue out again to taste Eggsy's cock. 

Eggsy looked positively wrecked. There was no way to get away, and no way to get relief, not unless Harry let up. The boy could see something dark in Harry's look, and that only made it _worse_ , tightening something inside of him. From fear or want, or both, he didn't know. " _Please_ , don't stop..."

"'Please don't stop'....?" Harry grinned, revelling in every passing second of Eggsy's abandon. The boy was getting louder and Harry _loved_ it. One of these days, he'd hear Eggsy's screams echo off these walls. Harry liked the idea so much he made it a secret promise to himself. He bent again and began licking little, teasing strokes at the head of Eggsy's cock, no longer trying to mimic the slow stroking sensation of his finger. 

Eggsy gave a little cry and his hands tightened their hold. The way he was pulling on Harry's hair must have been painful, but Harry didn't seem to mind. Eggsy tugged on him, but he couldn't make Harry's mouth go faster. He struggled against the arms holding his legs and hips down, but Harry's finger kept its own pace, quickening and slowing according to what Harry wanted. The boy started panting, and when he looked down, he didn't see sympathy. Instead, a hungry glint of mischief had settled into Harry's eyes.

"How did I say I'd have you begging by the end of this, Eggsy?" Harry admired the boy's endurance. Eggsy was going to be exhausted by the end of this, but that was just as well. Harry wanted him to remember it. Both for the sensation and how it felt to be under Harry's gaze like that. Because for Harry, it was absolute bliss. This was a test as much as any of it up until now had been. Harry knew Eggsy liked doing what Harry wanted, even liked it when Harry allowed the desire to possess Eggsy into his gaze, but the boy also had a very notable defiant streak. 

And right on cue, Harry watched Eggsy's jaw clench. His brows drew together and, though he was still panting, Eggsy gave Harry a sharp look. "Aw, no, I'm not, I'm _no_ -" Harry pressed his finger up a little firmer and Eggsy's voice cut off into a gasp. His hands pulled on Harry, trying to coax him on. A noise escaped the boy's throat that was half frustration, half desperation. "Harry, y'can't... c'mon, don't... leave me like this."

Harry's grin only grew wider. He knew it was a rare thing to see in public and Eggsy would soon be associating it with their antics in the bedroom. "I won't leave you like this," Harry said genially, like he could be surprised Eggsy would fear such a thing. "Just as long as you beg my name." Eggsy was holding out with such strength, although really Harry should have expected that. It made the game even more exciting. Harry scraped his teeth over the jutting bone of Eggsy's hip, jarring the boy from his pleasure just a little, just enough to focus him. 

Eggsy shook his head, just on principle. He was _so close_ , and Harry's grin was tantalizing and frustrating at the same time. More so because he wanted him to _beg_. Strange an idea as it was with someone else's finger up his arse, it seemed an indignity to have to beg Harry for anything. "I-... c'mon, 'arry, I don't... I don't beg. I-"

Harry's tongue made another stripe along his cock, root to tip and circling the crown, and Eggsy's words got caught in his throat. He could hear his own pulse hammering in his ears.

"Two little words," Harry whispered. "'Please, Harry', and you can have all you want." Harry just hoped his hair could hold up to this. He drew one long, precise swipe over Eggsy's sweet spot as slow as he could and lifted himself up over the boy. With how short Eggsy was, Harry didn't have to change the angle of his hand. He let himself loom over Eggsy, brushing his lips against Eggsy's as he spoke. "You can whisper it in my ear."

Eggsy quivered. He wanted to hold out, just on principle. He never begged; in fact, he hardly ever asked for _anything_. Eggsy had always toughed things out because he had to, and then because he took pride in doing so. This wasn't a normal situation, though. Harry drew closer, predatory and tempting and Eggsy felt all the muscles in his core clench around Harry's finger once Harry reached his mouth. That same finger that kept sliding at a constant, slow pace, and Eggsy was suddenly imagining something else in it's place. He squirmed again, got nowhere, and broke. "...please, Harry."

Harry felt his jaw go slack before he realised he'd gasped. He kissed the boy, a little harder than he'd meant to, and then kissed him again to make up for it before he slid back down Eggsy's body. Harry took Eggsy back into his mouth and _sucked_. He gave one last, long stroke of his finger, and finally, _finally_ sped into a real rhythm. Not too fast, just enough to make it good, to feel Eggsy tremble, to feel the boy's last nerves stretch taut and break apart under his ministrations. 

Eggsy couldn't do anything but hold on. Harry kept him pinned down against the mattress, but he wasn't trying to tease him this time. Pleasure flooded through the boy, better and so _different_ from all his rushed sessions with just himself and his right hand. Even climax felt different. Everything that had been building in him wound a little tighter, and it felt like Harry's finger pressed up just a bit more. The edges of Eggsy's vision turned a hazy black and his spine arched, and everything narrowed down to Harry - the warmth wrapped around him, and his mouth on his cock, and the digit inside him. Eggsy nearly yelled, and all at once it was over. The boy went completely limp against the mattress as all the energy drained out of him at once and euphoria took over.

Harry let him slump. Slowly, Harry's finger withdrew and his mouth pressed kisses to the scratch he'd left at Eggsy's hip. Eggsy could have easily been overstimulated, and Harry let him rest. Until he crawled up to Eggsy's side and wrapped the boy in his arms. Harry was suddenly very gentle. With every touch he was careful not to smother Eggsy. Each breath Eggsy took, he needed, uninhibited, lest he become overwhelmed completely, but Harry was there, too. He stroked Eggsy's hair and pressed chaste kisses to his temple, each touch light and undemanding. 

"Thank you, Eggsy," Harry said softly. 

The boy turned into him. Eggsy couldn't speak yet, couldn't process anything except his own feelings and the endorphin-drenched fatigue saturating his body, but he turned to get closer to Harry. His eyes shut and, cradled in the older man's arms, he caught his breath and draped an arm around Harry in return. Eggsy was sticky, tired, and overwhelmed, and he didn't want to move, but he also didn't want Harry to move away.

Harry seemed to understand. He stayed exactly where he was. He kept whispering the most soothing things in Eggsy's ear. "Relax now. I have you...." He held Eggsy in a loose embrace, so very different to how he'd been moments ago, letting Eggsy wrap around him instead as much as Eggsy wanted to, but also letting him breathe. The room was overheated from their activities, and so was Eggsy's skin, so Harry left the blankets where they were. All that heat and sweat would evaporate soon though, and Harry was ready to wrap Eggsy up tight when it did.

A goodly number of minutes passed before Eggsy felt like moving. His breathing slowed, and his skin cooled, and eventually he touched his hands to Harry's sides. Harry embraced him in turn, drawing him close even though he was sticky with dried cum and sweat. It felt gross, but Eggsy didn't mind just then. Harry wanted him close, and all the boy wanted at that moment was that closeness, to feel wanted and loved and protected, and all of Harry that was slowly becoming familiar.

Harry dug the thick comforter out from under them and pulled it up to Eggsy's shoulders, wrapping him in extra warmth. Harry's eyes looked just as warm now. Their soft brown was something Eggsy rarely saw, something he would probably always associate with Harry now. Harry didn't try to talk, or even looked like he was waiting for Eggsy to start. He just held Eggsy quietly and stroked small patterns into the back of his neck or his hip or wherever Harry's hands happened to be when he shifted his embrace. Harry had to be more coherent than Eggsy was, but even he looked a little sleepy. Sex-dazed. Content. 

Eventually, the boy grimaced. His muscles ached from having been tensed as long as they'd been, particularly in odd places that weren't used to strain, and his skin felt tacky. He wanted to rinse off, but he didn't want to leave. Harry was giving him his full attention, and physical affection, and it was everything he'd craved for so long. Eggsy leaned in and rested his forehead against Harry's chest. "...shower? Maybe?"

Harry hummed and gave a deep sigh. "Yes, definitely." Although he didn't move. Harry looked content, minus the drying body fluids. When Eggsy didn't stop watching him, Harry eventually stretched and looked a little more ready to move. "Alright, yes, time to get up." Harry offered Eggsy the small version of his half smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Sticky. Sore." Eggsy stretched a moment after Harry did, but he didn't look away. He didn't want to miss anything. The relationship was still so new, and every time Harry looked at him like he was something precious, loved, and desirable, Eggsy didn't want to look anywhere else. "Good, though. That was... I didn't even know it could _feel_ like that."

"Certainly makes more sense why people engage is such activities now, hm?" Harry's subtle smile curled at the corners. He drew back the covers and scooped Eggsy up in his arms. It was with a fierce sense of pride that he walked to the bathroom, pride that he _had_ this boy. Eggsy wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, not used to being carried, but going with it all the same. Harry only set him down when they reached the bathroom and he had to bend to turn on the shower. 

Watching Eggsy stand there, nude, waiting behind him for the water to heat, Harry felt a pulse of longing in the pit of his stomach. If Eggsy kept looking like he was, Harry be hard again soon. 

Eggsy couldn't help but look. Harry had hidden from him for so long, felt through the barriers of clothing but never seen, that Eggsy was fascinated and a little afraid that he wouldn't get the chance to look again.

Harry wasn't perfect, by any means. He wasn't the tanned, toned, unrealistic and altered perfection of the sports magazines Eggsy had seen, Harry wasn't hard on the eyes either. He was just a bit soft around the stomach, but toned everywhere else like an athlete, which was odd for someone who worked in something as undemanding as tailoring. Equally strange were the pale scars scattered across Harry's skin. Eggsy assumed that they were from years ago, when Harry was in the forces like his father, but each of them aroused a bit of curiosity.

If Harry noticed him looking, he didn't say anything, simply drew back the curtain, tested the water, and then held a hand out to Eggsy. 

Harry drew him into the bath, conscious of how short Eggsy was and careful not to drown him under the spray. Or block it either. Harry let Eggsy have most of it, turning him into the water before Harry reached up and widened the spray. He helped Eggsy run his fingers through his hair. In fact, Harry never quite let go of him at all, running his hands down Eggsy's shoulders and back, even his stomach, with that contented look upon Harry's face. 

The size difference between them hadn't exactly been absent in bed, but it truly stood out once they were both on their feet. Eggsy had to tilt his head back and look past water-soaked fringe more often than not to look at Harry's face. The older man had somewhere close to 60 centimeters on him, enough that Eggsy was of an eye with his sternum... and more easily distracted with the lower portion of his anatomy. It was difficult to ignore what society framed as taboo and what Harry had kept hidden from him for so long, worried that it would frighten him.

Harry didn't seem to be worried about that any longer though, especially not when he stepped under the water himself and turned his head up into the spray. Harry let out a long sigh and ran his dishevelled hair back over his head. He looked different without his hair all coiffed or even rumpled and falling into his eyes as Eggsy had seen on several mornings now. 

Every time Harry looked down at him, he seemed more and more pleased. Just as soon, Harry's hands were back on him, no longer washing, just roaming. 

"I can't decide if I'd like to keep you hear or take you with me always," Harry said softly. 

"Can't you do both?" Eggsy wasn't scared that Harry was going to hurt him, but the older man was still intimidating, and something about his words felt... off. Sad. Eggsy felt Harry smooth hands down his shoulders and back and he leaned in closer. "I mean... I have to go back to my mum eventually, but... that's not forever, either. I have to move out sometime. It's not like I'm goin' anywhere."

Harry raised a brow and the subtle look of contentment on his face was joined by one of amusement. "Oh? Have your career already figured out then, have you?" Harry spilled a handful of water down the back of Eggsy's head. Eggsy's wide eyes blinked up at him and Harry visibly softened. "One step at a time. You're right, you'll be back with your mother first. That may be difficult to navigate, but we'll manage." He brushed Eggsy's chin with his thumb. 

They'd heard from Michelle often enough over the past couple days, through Susan. She'd had little news about the case, but seemed intent on making sure Eggsy was getting enough food, going out enough, doing ok in school, and generally feeling ok at Harry's. Through Susan as a middleman, their conversations were mostly a lot of lists for Eggsy to answer. 

"I don't really know what I wanna do." Harry was still touching him, and so Eggsy stayed where he was, content to let Harry trace fingers around his jawline and slide a hand down his spine to the small of his back. "I thought about... maybe doing the forces. Like my dad. I've got this great picture of him in uniform. Maybe I could do something else, but I'm kinda stuck, y'know? Some schools are expensive, and mum can't afford them, and they take more people from prestigious public schools anyhow."

Harry hummed and reached to shut off the water. They'd already steamed up the inside of the bathroom and it wasn't so cold even with the loss of the spray. "Fortunately," Harry said as he pushed back the curtain and reached for a pair of towels, "you won't have to decide for quite some time yet." He tossed one over his shoulder and draped the other around Eggsy's shoulders before folding it up and rubbing it over Eggsy's hair. Harry let him have the towel after that, but Eggsy swore Harry's mouth was spread just a little wider when he let go. "Just make sure you pursue something you could enjoy, something you could make a living doing, and something you're good at."

"How do I find something like that, though? There's a lot of stuff out there. That's even if I can figure out how to afford the school for some of it." Eggsy kept trying to dry off, but his hands were slow. He was distracted and paying more attention to watching Harry dry off than he was to drying himself. "What did you do? Or... was your family in tailoring? Like, did you just do what your family told you to do, or did you explore and find what you liked?"

Harry glanced at Eggsy, wrapping the towel around his waist and helping Eggsy out of the shower before he pried the towel out of Eggsy's hands and picked up his slack with that all too familiar look of mild amusement. "Families often have ways of roping you into going along with the path they've laid down for you, or something not far from it." Harry seemed to think about his next words a little more carefully. "Even in the rebellion of my young adult life, I went along with what my family wanted, in ways. Perhaps not _exactly_ what they'd wanted for me, but _just_ respectable enough for their standards. And no, the tailoring business was more of a...friend of the family sort of thing. It's astonishing sometimes, what having the right connections will get you. Whether you deserve it or not." Harry ruffled Eggsy's hair with the towel and finally gave him a real smile, if just a small one. 

Eggsy smiled back, not quite understanding what Harry meant. All he could think of was that it had something to do with being posh; all the rich upper class people seemed to stick together and get a lot of things that everyone else didn't. "Would you do something different, if you could pick again? It kinda sounds like you still ended up close to what your family wanted, and you didn't really like it. It that 'cause you want to go back to being a soldier instead of a tailor, or because you want something else?"

Harry laughed. "No, Eggsy. Neither of those, I'm afraid I simply get wistful sometimes. I do like what I do now. It pays the bills and I have a lot of freedom in my work. Being in the Forces fulfilled a different kind of need...to feel like I was accomplishing something, doing a bit of good. Being a better version of myself, perhaps. If you can feel that in what you do, you generally know you're on the right track. But I wouldn't worry too much yet; you have time yet to discover what inspires you." Harry led Eggsy out of the bathroom to find his pyjamas. 

They walked all the way down to Harry's bedroom. Feeling self-conscious was nonsensical after what they'd done together, and particularly when they'd both just been nude in the shower, but Eggsy still averted his eyes while he bent to pick up his pyjamas from where he'd left them on the floor and dropped the towel to put them on. The bed was still mussed from earlier, and there were a few stains from where cum had gotten onto the sheets. Eggsy stared at the spots, flustered.

Harry had a knack for catching him feeling like that though, and as Harry passed, he laid a hand on Eggsy's shoulder and bent to nuzzle a kiss next to his ear. Harry, by contrast, looked more than a little satisfied as he pulled out a set of pyjamas from the dresser and slipped into them. He did so unselfconsciously this time, even glancing at Eggsy to catch him watching once or twice before he joined Eggsy at the bed. Harry's bed. Slowly becoming 'their' bed with each passing night. 

"Looks like laundry this weekend," Harry said nonchalantly as he climbed under the covers and beckoned Eggsy to join him. 

Eggsy climbed up and crawled over, sliding until he was within the circle of Harry's arms. Eggsy glanced at the spots again and shifted. Reality didn't quite match up with his fantasies and the neatness of the instruction books. "Is this always... messy like this?" he asked. Eggsy seemed embarrassed to even have to voice his questions. "I mean, I sorta knew a bit, from overhearing my mates talk, 'cause they're older than me, but I didn't really know... what to expect, really."

Harry chuckled against his ear. "Yes, Eggsy, it's usually quite messy. You might have to get used to having your showers at night." Harry hid his grin in Eggsy's hair, but Eggsy could feel it anyway. There was nothing embarrassed or regretful in Harry's demeanour, just like Harry was every time Eggsy asked him an awkward question. He had yet to mind even once. He never told Eggsy his questions weren't appropriate or tried to dodge them and give him a book to read instead. Harry had given him books _and_ talked to him. Even if real sex didn't match up to every popular media-inspired fantasy Eggsy had ever had, it was remarkable just how close Harry came. 

Eggsy grew quiet. Harry knew that the boy had more questions. He could practically hear the weight of them in the silence, thickening the air and twining around them like a heavy blanket. He'd only just begun to explore sex in reality and as an experience, instead of just concepts and data.

Another thing was bothering Eggsy too. He'd handled the transition of their relationship very well, including the secrecy that was necessary to make it work, but questions about that prickled at the back of his mind. "...Harry, is it... weird, that I'm a lot younger? For you? I can't do a lot of things yet."

Harry turned to look down at him. Eggsy saw that some of his humour was gone, replaced with something else that Eggsy couldn't quite put his finger on. It wasn't cold, or sad. It was...soft. Harry's eyes could be so soft, especially with the orange glow of the bedside lamp against his cheek. Eggsy felt the brush of Harry's fingers before he saw the man's hand at his temple. 

"No, Eggsy," Harry finally said. "It's not something that bothers me, even if it does other people." He almost looked like he didn't have the words until Eggsy saw the subtle lift at the corner of his mouth. "I like watching you learn."

"That's good. About you, I mean." Eggsy continued to stare up at him thoughtfully. He liked it when Harry looked like this, and he looked _safe_. Safe to ask questions, as he'd always proven himself to be before, unlike the other adults in Eggsy's life. Harry's arms felt warm and comforting from where they were circled around him. Even his scent was calming; showering had done nothing to erase that, underneath a layer of citrus and herbal soap. "I don't understand why other people don't like it, though. If I don't mind, and you don't mind."

Harry's mouth turned down and Eggsy could see that something made him uncomfortable. And then it struck him that Harry looked more like he was trying to figure out whether Eggsy was just being optimistic or he really didn't know. He had to watch as Harry's brow uncreased, finally coming to a conclusion. 

"Eggsy..." Harry began slowly, "You know I care about you. You know I feel _very much_ for you. And if you don't I'd like you to know it now," Harry stroked the short strands of hair at Eggsy's temple, a motion that was becoming an unconscious gesture, "But no one would believe it. Us being in a relationship is almost on par with what your mother, your teachers, etcetera, think about when they tell you not to talk to strangers. There is an imbalance of power between us, and they are emphatic in their assumption that I will hurt you." 

Eggsy frowned in confusion and concern, and Harry's conclusion was proven right. "...but you're not a stranger, and you haven't hurt me. You've been nicer to me than anyone. I mean, it's a _bit_ weird, because you're... kinda like my dad, and you make me go to school and do my homework and buy me clothes. But you're not like my dad either, and you've helped me with a lot of things, and you haven't lied to me like my mum and aunt have about all sorts of things."

Just the thought of it, that people would think Harry to be hurtful and dangerous like some of the things he'd heard about regarding strangers, made tears well up in Eggsy's eyes. Nothing was fair. His mother had lied to him about her drinking and how bad things were, brought bad men into their lives without really talking to him about it, and those men _had_ been dangerous strangers. His aunt had lied too, not really wanting to do much to help him and exasperated that she had suffered any inconvenience or discomfort, finally trying to get rid of him without talking to him about it and trying to keep him in the dark. "I care about you too. It's just not _fair_."

Harry's expression softened and he shifted, drawing Eggsy closer, wrapping him securely in Harry's arms. "I know," Harry said softly. "Believe me, I know. You've got a lot of learning to do yet, Eggsy, but when you do...please don't ever believe them when they say I don't love you." Harry held him like that for long minutes, stroking Eggsy's back and letting him bury his face in Harry's neck while his mind reeled. 

When Harry finally pulled back, he looked much more sober than he had before. Even a little sad. 

Sad wasn't bearable. Eggsy already felt bad, just thinking about how much it bothered him that they had to hide and pretend, and what would happen to Harry if someone found out. Making Harry sad wasn't something Eggsy was going to stand, not if he could do anything about it.

The boy's hands came up and moved to the back of Harry's neck, and then Eggsy was kissing him. From the way Harry's lips parted slightly at the beginning, maybe it even surprised him. Eggsy didn't know what sort of words to say to make Harry feel better, and there was nothing he could do about other people aside from continuing on with pretending Harry was just a friend, but he could do this.

Harry sighed into it and then Eggsy felt him kiss back. Harry didn't just kiss with his mouth. His whole body went into it, but it was gentle this time. His hands drew up Eggsy's back and Eggsy found Harry pressing close again. Harry even nipped at Eggsy's lip before they parted, and that was how Eggsy could tell that the sadness wouldn't last. Harry was used to dealing with this kind of sadness. Likely more so than Eggsy was. 

"I'm very lucky to have found you," Harry murmured and he sounded more relaxed. 

"I'm lucky to have found you too." Eggsy gave Harry a fragile smile. The older man already looked better, but the shadow of that sadness still clung to him around the edges. "It's almost fairy tale, innit. With you knowin' my dad, and me savin' your dog not knowin' that, and then before I know it I'm living in posh digs with a posh boyfriend who cooks for me and buys me clothes and saves me from a mean relative."

That brought a smile to Harry's face. "Fairytale, indeed. One of the happily ever after ones. Just try not to remember how the others end, hm?" But the good humour Harry had found at that didn't fade, even as he reached to turn off the lamp and settled more comfortably under the covers. It took a moment, but Eggsy could still see him through the light of the window, even with the shades closed. Harry's house was just far enough from the street that it was rarely noisy, but nothing kept out the light of the city around them. 

Eggsy spent some time watching him, or what he could see from the faint diffusion that filtered in past the curtains. Spending time with Harry, particularly now that they were in a relationship, was making the boy realize just how precious the older man was to him. The thought of losing him had been painful before, but it had been the pain of considering the loss of a close friendship or the overemotional panic that came with a severe crush. Both of those had started changing into something else. Being with Harry was starting to feel like home.

Eggsy tucked himself closer and settled down to sleep. Harry's name, and three more little words, were murmured against Harry's chest, and so quiet that he almost didn't hear. _Almost._

* * *

The morning after saw Eggsy trudging through the school day as usual with thoughts of his mentor in the back of his mind. Harry got off work early enough to pick him up that day, and the drive back down to Kensington was filled with Eggsy's chatter and Harry's amused replies. It was comfortable, and that continued to be a surprise--just how much things had changed between them and yet how little. 

Harry's fingers found their way into Eggsy's hair as they drew up the walk. He asked Eggsy to do his homework while he made dinner and even though doing homework so early would have been unthinkable when Eggsy was living with his mum...it wasn't so bad when it was at Harry's request. Harry even asked him about it while he worked in the kitchen--what Eggsy was studying, whether he'd gotten to long division yet, what they were covering in history. Harry didn't even mind when Eggsy complained about the length of his worksheets. 

By the time they finally sat down to eat, Eggsy had finished what he could. 

Dinner, too, was a treat. Eggsy still hadn't gotten used to how food was in the household - that Harry would cook more than a rotation of a few small, cheap dishes, that the portions actually left him full, that he could go to the kitchen for a snack whenever he wanted without Harry berating him. Eggsy was still stuck in a mentality of scarcity, and it touched Harry to see it, just as it had hit home when Eggsy had been ecstatic over choosing new clothes.

Halfway through the meal, Harry's phone buzzed. Just the once, but Harry already knew what the text was. 

He looked at it and sighed. It wasn't very convenient timing, but there was little he could do about that. 

Eggsy glanced up at him with a question in his eyes and Harry gave him a conciliatory smile. "I had hoped this would come a little later, but, Eggsy, do you think you would be alright getting to bed by yourself tonight? We've got a particularly eccentric client who's insisted on doing a fitting at ungodly hours of the night." He could see Eggsy's incredulity the moment the words left his mouth, but uncommon clients, Eggsy had learned early on, were also a staple of the bespoke tailoring business. 

"Um... sure, Harry." Eggsy swallowed down his disappointment. He'd done his homework early, as asked, because he'd been hoping for another night spent together. Whether it was movies, or reading comics, or just talking, Eggsy enjoyed anything they did together. He hadn't been able to get the previous night out of his head and had thought about it all day at school and afterwards. That in itself had caused problems; he'd gotten chastised by two teachers for being distracted and failing to respond to questions. "You'll be back later, though?"

"Not until very late." Harry set down his fork and got up from his seat and moved to sit next to Eggsy, who wasn't doing a very good job of masking his dismay. As Harry had fully expected. He reached out for the back of Eggsy's chair as Eggsy looked up at him, clear eyes full of longing. "I'm very sorry," Harry said and brushed Eggsy's cheek before he leaned in to press a kiss to Eggsy's soft lips. "I had been looking forward to spending time with you before I had to go back in." Harry had known what was coming, but he did mean that. 

Eggsy still felt hurt and somewhat rejected. Given what they'd done the previous night, it was natural that he would still be adjusting and a bit insecure. More so given his history; how often had Michelle made promises, only to pick up sudden extra shifts and leave him in the flat alone? Eggsy's hands reached out and caught on Harry's shirt. "I can sleep in your bed anyway though, right? Will you wake me up when you get back? I'll still be ok for school if you do, I promise."

Harry smiled at that, a real one. "I would be very happy if you slept in my bed, and also _very_ happy to make it up to you when I get back." Harry leaned forward and whispered into Eggsy's ear, brushing cheek to cheek and enjoying just how soft Eggsy was, enjoying the way he felt Eggsy lean into him, as he did so. "I promise." 

Harry kissed Eggsy, _his boy_ , and sighed, holding there for a beat longer before he pulled back. "You'll be okay?"

"Yeah. I'll find something to do. I think I know how to work the telly and everything now." Harry had a much more advanced video and audio system in the den, but Eggsy had seen him work it enough to be confident he could make it go. "I'll find a movie or read or somethin'. I'll be okay."

That wasn't quite the truth. Eggsy was going to be disappointed and worry until Harry came home, but he was also confident that Harry _would_ come home. "Just come back as soon as you can."

"I will." Harry took one last moment to brush his fingers through Eggsy's hair before he rose and took his plate back to the kitchen. He cleaned up quickly and then went to get his jacket and tie, which he'd removed upon coming home. He glanced in the mirror and saw the familiar hardness behind his eyes, switching into work mode. 

Once Harry was ready, he came back down the stairs, kissed Eggsy once on the cheek as the boy was setting his finished plate at the sink, and said goodbye one last time before he headed out the door. 

The evening streets blurred together. This routine was familiar, even comfortable. Harry walked to a pickup location, stepped into an unmarked car and became just one more person routed between a series of stops and promptly forgotten. Transit didn't take long, and soon enough he exited the last car, walked in the direction his text had prompted, and spotted the van. 

The back door cracked open before Harry could grasp the handle.

He stepped inside, Oxfords scraping against the metal undercarriage. Inside it was like stepping into a bunker. The space itself was dark, but the walls were lit up with monitors, a ledge on one side and a narrow walkway in between. Surveillance equipment was packed everywhere. Harry had to duck his head to avoid the uncomfortably low ceiling and reach the chair next to the lone occupant of the van's interior. 

"So, what have you got in store for tonight?" Harry made himself comfortable in the leather seat. 

"Straight to business? Someone's tetchy." Anyone else, they might not have noticed any difference in Merlin, but Harry knew better. They'd worked more closely together over the years than Merlin seemed to have done with anyone else. Harry noted the faint upward curve of the other man's mouth, and the glint in Merlin's normally cool and impassive gaze. _Anticipation._ "Did I interrupt something? I suspect the answer is yes. However, we'll move along, as you wish."

Merlin reached out and tapped at the keyboard at his side. Monitors flickered to life, one of which displayed a photograph of a dashing young man smiling at the camera. The other man he was shaking hands with was cropped from the frame. " _Mason Bennett_. An up and coming businessman with not inconsiderable connections and a great deal of popularity, and not only for his entrepreneurial prowess. In telecommunications, actually. He's gotten a taste of the sort of power money and success and a handsome face will buy you, and he's been increasingly considering whether he can indulge some long-standing curiosities and fantasies. Recent transactions have been memberships to a few exclusive clubs that specialize in unusual tastes and strict confidentiality. Mr. Bennett has made evening trips out, but so far seems to be a little shy about getting into the deep end of the pool. You're going to change that."

Harry raised a brow and sat forward. He glanced over articles Merlin had brought up. Forbes, Fortune and the like. This was a man who spent half his time hopping between New York and London. He had dark hair and a friendly enough smile, someone who'd spent time in front of the mirror practising. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry could see Merlin watching him, intent on the way Harry took in the information. Bennett's personal credit reports showed purchases at least two high end clubs in London, only one of which Harry recognised as a playground for BDSM practitioners.

"And what exactly is his poison of choice?" Harry asked with no inflection. 

"Sadism. Gender doesn't seem to matter. His internet records, however, are quite interesting. They'll become more interesting once the night is through. Mr. Bennett is particularly intrigued by the more extreme ends of BDSM culture and has acquired a taste for snuff porn. The real sort, not staged fantasies. He's been sporadically attending these clubs, working up his nerve to even try some of the lighter fare that's on offer. He needs a little encouragement."

Merlin's hand rose. A plastic bag hung from his fingers, transparent enough that Harry could see several pills inside. "Verbal and chemical, if you will."

Harry hummed his understanding and took the bag, holding it up to the light of the screen before he pocketed it. "And how far do you want me to let it go?" He reached for the mouse, zooming in on the schematics of the club Merlin had flagged as Bennett's expected haunt for the night. Harry skimmed the club's policies and details on the usual patrons while Merlin continued to watch him. Harry rarely found himself with the full weight of Merlin's scrutiny, and it was indeed a weight. It sent prickles up the back of his neck, but that was not particularly unpleasant. It was simply new to their relationship. 

"All the way to the end. You can't be in the club any longer at that point, but you won't be a required presence to keep things moving after a certain threshold. Once Mr. Bennett's inhibitions are removed and his higher judgment suspended, he'll do just fine on his own." Merlin's mouth gave a little upward quirk. "It's likely you'll even arrive back here in time to watch the tail end of what the night's labors have bought. The start of it, anyways. The general public always devours sex-murder scandals, particularly when the rich are involved, and the press will do their best to indulge every little bloodthirsty pang of hunger."

Harry found a small smile drawing upon his face in return. The goal of this night's work might have been unusual, but the work itself was standard fare for a knight like Harry. He recognised that was very likely the reason Merlin had chosen such a job for his first personal request of Harry's skills. 

"And I'm sure you'd like the whole thing recorded for posterity?" Harry asked, noting with a small amount of satisfaction that Merlin hadn't yet retreated into his usual detached demeanour. He wasn't closed off at all, and in fact there was much of that glint in his eye Harry had seen the night they spoke in Kolkata. 

"Of course." Again, that flicker that was almost a smile. Merlin didn't look away. He was watching every move Harry made, savoring his reactions and trying to pick apart his thoughts. Harry wasn't imagining that Merlin was closer, either; he'd leaned forward slightly once Harry had drawn close to the monitors and accepted the packet of drugs. "In case Mr. Bennett's trial starts to go the wrong way. And for my personal archives. I'm sure you understand."

Harry _did_ understand. In a way. A very different way perhaps, but it was not a difficult leap of perspective. He nodded to Merlin and let the man see his acquiescence. "Alright then. Let's begin." 

Some poor sod was going to die tonight and Harry was going to be the cause of it. There was no telling himself that it would happen eventually, that Mason Bennett would sooner or later escalate his fantasies into live play and then take it further than that. Even if the man had enough wealth to do so. It _could_ happen, someday, but Harry was not in the business of absolving himself of moral quandaries. 

Finally, _finally_ , Merlin smiled back in return. The expression was strange on his face, not at all like the clipped smiles he tended to give Arthur and the other knights, or the recruits Harry could remember Merlin helping to train.

Harry was going to play his game. Maybe even enjoy it, and Merlin enjoyed _that_ even more. "You can direct Mr. Bennett to whatever mark you choose. Open the second drawer down - yes, just there," Merlin inclined his head. "That will be your identification for the evening, along with your membership pass to the club. People go to this club to indulge without anyone asking questions, so no one should be too inquisitive about your background. They'll only want to know your interests."

Harry had a few ideas on that already after reading Merlin's brief notes on Bennett's personality. "I believe I have just the thing." Harry found two miniature cameras with adhesive backing beside the ID and pocketed them as well. He kept his glasses on, both knowing they would give him the right look and suspecting they would offer a more enjoyable close-up view of the job before Harry had to leave. In the back of his mind he wondered just how many projects like this Merlin had done before. He was very obviously comfortable with it. He had the means to pull them off except a man on the ground, as Harry was about to become now, as Harry suspected Merlin rarely did social legwork. 

"Good. I'll be in contact should anything go amiss, but I trust that you won't need extraction." Merlin gave him one last look. Bennett wouldn't stand a chance, not with Harry's level of skill and the man's tastes. Bennett might be flexible, but certain types would tempt him more than others. Or, as in Harry's case, find more fertile soil in which to plant suggestions. "Best of luck, Galahad."

Harry nodded once, double checked their location and that of the CCTV network on Merlin's monitor, and then he was back out the door, leaving the tech guru to watch and enjoy. Merlin would be in Harry's ear if he needed to be, but Harry suspected he wouldn't be interrupted on this one. 

The chill was biting as Harry meandered down the dense streets, avoiding camera after camera until he felt secure in the knowledge that should he be tracked, his path would not lead back to the van. His thick coat and gloves were just enough to keep out the brunt of the cold, but he was glad when he finally reached the outer doors of the club, leaving the hordes of city night life behind as he slipped inside. What he was looking for was technically a club within a club, a suite of VIP rooms with its own private door adjacent to another that catered to the regular socialite crowd. It did not take Harry long to find and pass the doorman with the ID Merlin acquired for him. 

He checked his coat at the door and was thankful he hadn't needed to change out of his suit for the job. It gave him the perfect air, a blend between power and restraint, the dominance of a well-bred English gentleman, but with the right posture, an air that bordered on delicate to the eye of a native New Yorker. Especially one with a budding taste for sadism. 

The lights in this portion of the club were turned down, both to flatter and for a sense of privacy. Even so, Harry recognized a number of faces, though they didn't recognize him. Neither were the clientele all British or American; several different accents reached Harry's ears. His entrance wasn't particularly noted, but several pairs of eyes began to follow his progress across the room.

A few doors later, Harry spotted his mark. Mason Bennett lounged in one corner of a plush leather booth, talking to a woman in a sleek little sheath dress. She seemed amused, chin propped on one hand and nursing a drink in the other. Bennett, in turn, was trying to affect an air of confidence and experience. The rigidness of his posture spoke of nerves and bravado instead.

Harry stopped at the bar and kept an eye on them until he was served a flute of champagne, something to soften his appearance. Harry lingered there, keeping an eye on the crowd, sectioning them off based on preference which was easy to do at a place like this. Doms, subs, and subcategories of the like all displayed in some subtle, or not so subtle, manner what they were into while rooms in the back and sectioned off areas in the corner catered to their activities. 

When Harry's attention again fell on Mason, the woman he'd been speaking to was taking her leave with two other males, both tops, both having already made her acquaintance some time ago, Harry could deduce. That, fortunately for him, would be a blow to Mason's ego, and just as Harry suspected, he stood to make his way to the bar to save face. 

Mason was already glancing around the room, trying to see if anyone had noticed his rejection and to reassess who else might be available. As he was scanning the room, his eyes lit on Harry, and Harry was rather pleased to see a slight hitch in his step. He'd caught the man's interest with nary a word.

Mason's attention smoothly changed to the bartender as he drew closer. After a brief exchange, he handed over a couple of notes and the barkeep handed back two fingers of whiskey. Liquid courage, which was all to Harry's advantage. Alcohol would make the man more pliable.

A few minutes passed before Mason worked up the nerve to slide closer. "I haven't seen you here before. With a profile like that, I would have remembered."

Harry let his mouth slide into a sly smile and then tempered it by glancing down, lowering his eyes to accept the compliment. "I suspect you would have as well." If Mason's interest had been piqued by the vaguely submissive appearance Harry had been exuding so far, that statement took him aback a little, as he'd either misjudged or Harry was being interested and playing coy. Harry deliberately didn't drop the interested act, but quickly put Mason's assumption to rest. "I couldn't help but notice you over there." Harry leaned in and let his voice drop. "You could have had her if you were willing to take her." 

Mason huffed out a dismissive breath and gave a sweep of his fingers. "Her? No. No, she wasn't quite what I was looking for. Attractive enough, to be sure, but not compatible." Mason paused to take another drink, enjoying the burn of it and the buzz that followed. His pride had already been pricked once, and he needed a sense of invincibility. "Speaking of taking... are you? Unless I'm mistaken, you don't seem to be here with anyone else. Did you notice anyone that's to _your_ taste?"

"Tonight I prefer to watch." Harry met Mason's eyes, sizing the man up and letting him do the same to Harry in return. Harry let the thrill of the hunt light in his gaze, but tempered it with a spark of friendly interest. Mason would not react well to being hunted, but Harry was not there to offer himself as bait either. Instead, he began to set the conversation up for a third option. "It's difficult to find what I'm really looking for here. Posh place like this with equally posh subs, they say they'll cater to our tastes and then they put limits on everything. You'd almost be better off finding some hellhole in Caracas." 

Mason chuckled at that, caught off-guard. He beckoned at the server and ordered another round for himself. "I wouldn't know. I've not ventured out quite that far yet. That's the thing about backwaters: less limitations, and less assurance that your partners don't have anything _catching_. I would have thought people here would be a bit more adventurous, but maybe I'm wrong." The bartender returned with his glass, and Mason nodded towards Harry. "Do you want another? For the conversation. No expectations."

"Mm, go on and indulge me." Harry let his smile warm and leaned against the bar, settling in for conversation. Mason was easy to read. It hadn't occurred to him yet in his short career in this scene to look for camaraderie. He looked like the type who would have snubbed the thought of it and tried to amass a following of his own much as he was doing in the business world, and much better at it there. But being frustrated with his desires and new to the scene, Harry strongly suspected the man would jump at the chance of finding someone to confide in, if only he were given the opportunity. "You might be able to find someone willing, but it's a rare thing, let me tell you. That young boy over there, for example. Notice the pocket square? Think he'd be up for anything, right?" Harry let the words draw out, forcing Mason's attention where he wanted it if Mason wanted to keep talking to Harry. "Now notice the pin on his lapel. 'Fantasy does not equal reality'?" Harry scoffed as politely as he could. "Why do we have these desires at all, then? I don't come to a place like this to be repressed, castrated, just as the rest of the world would have us be. If I want to hurt a partner, then I _really do_ want to hurt them." 

Mason's eyes flickered back to Harry. Perhaps he was good at hiding his intentions in the office and on the negotiations floor, but the man was out of his depth here. He didn't manage to keep the surprise off of his face. "Rare, but not impossible. Am I right? I mean, I've heard _stories_. I have yet to see such things in person, though. Everyone has more limitations than expected. Isn't the point of a sub to have them submit? Most of the one's I've talked to are more interested in having doms _serve_ them, and dictate how a scene is going to go, and all of the expectations they want fulfilled."

Harry let his smile curl as the bartender returned with his drink. "I thought I recognised a like-minded fellow," he said and held out his hand. "The name's Michael." Mason shook his hand out of politeness and returned his name, but he was confused by the formal gesture before Harry, slipping his hand from his pocket to Mason's shoulder and dropping a tablet in the man's drink on the way, embraced him more fully and looked out across the floor full of meandering bodies on display. Harry leaned in, turned his head to Mason's ear. "What do you say we go on a hunt?"

_That_ got Mason's attention. His pupils dilated. He shifted on his feet, glancing between Harry and the rest of the room. "You mean... both of us together, with someone? I-... I don't have any experience with having another dom in the room. I don't really like the sub having their attention anywhere but on me." He raised his glass to his lips and took a sip, trying to appear less nervous than he was. "We might not even have the same tastes in... prey."

Harry smirked. "I told you, I only want to watch tonight. This one's all yours. You simply look like a man who might be sympathetic to my tastes." Mason was a man who was used to being waited upon, Harry could tell that much from his personality. Harry was banking on the offer of a friendly service to outweigh the oddity of having another party in this scenario. He intended to keep Mason feeling like he had just a little more control in this situation than Harry until the man was more susceptible to suggestion.

Mason's eyes narrowed. He was used to extreme competition and petty tricks that were all part and parcel of the game when in the field of business. He couldn't understand why another sadist would help him and only want to watch if a suitable partner was found. Harry might have been a kindred spirit, but that just meant he was all the more likely to take what Mason wanted if they both spotted the same prize.

And yet, he wasn't having luck on his own. Mason had come again and again, looking for a suitable partner only to fail or be rejected. Being turned down by his latest proposition still stung. Harry looked older, and if he had been in the scene for some time, he might have secrets that Mason could harvest to his own advantage later. Tips and tricks on how to choose and pick up the right person. 

"Fine," Mason assented. "But so long as you only watch. We'll see if we have the same tastes."

"Good man." Harry patted him on the shoulder. "I can see you don't trust easily," Harry began as they walked, "but there are benefits to having a friend in this arena. I'll leave it to you to decide whether they're worth it or not." Harry smiled and took a sip of his drink, willing Mason to do the same. He was ready for it now. Harry needed to loosen his inhibitions just as they were finding Mason a partner. In all likelihood, he'd have to give the second tablet to whoever they picked up pretty early on, too, or that person was going to get suspicious. 

Physical suggestion worked; Mason took a drink as they walked and scanned the rooms. Whatever Merlin had given Harry to use, it worked rapidly. Within minutes, Mason's shoulders had loosened from their earlier tension. He stopped glancing warily at Harry out of the corner of his eye as well. When he took another sip, Harry noted that the man's pupils had dilated. That in itself wasn't going to be enough to cause alarm in anyone they talked to. The lighting was dim, and drug use wasn't uncommon in clubs like.

Harry tested it by turning their path, and sure enough Mason responded to Harry's hand at his shoulder without so much as a hint of resistance. The only downside was that he could not trust Mason to pick a suitable partner. The man began pointing a few out to Harry with jerks of his head, mumbling about how often he'd seen them here, what they were wearing, and other unhelpful nonsense. Harry gently diverted his attention to a small group in the back. Three who were obviously subs, all male, fairly young but looked like regulars, who were standing in a half circle with their drinks in hand and looking out over the floor in much the same way as Harry and Mason were. Looking for a hookup. They were joined by a man who was clearly part of the leather scene and obviously into one of them. Harry watched them flirt while the other two continued to watch the crowd for prospects of their own as Mason's commentary carried on in the background. Gently, Harry steered Mason by the shoulder to follow his gaze as he gave a nod and a questioning brow. 

"...what, the leatherman or the boytoy?" Mason looked obediently, confused about what had caught Harry's eye. He wasn't skilled at reading people, and the three subs all looked the same to him. When the leatherman aggressively moved into the one sub's space and the sub flushed and leaned closer, Mason's attention was hooked. "You think he'd be willing? Why? I've seen any number of subs talking to these leather boys and none of them wanted anything really rough. Just a little intimidation and humiliation, or they had a daddy kink."

Harry chuckled at that. "His friends are looking a little put out, don't you think? Desperate, even. They're young, but I can tell you they're not new to this. Experience coupled with loneliness makes for a good target. And the blond is quite attractive if I do say so. Slim thing, but looks sturdy enough to take a beating." Harry let Mason see him leer. Now that the stick up Mason's arse had been chemically loosened, he'd read it as encouragement rather than an imposition on his territory. 

"Desperation _does_ make for an easy sell," Mason agreed, no longer thinking about his own desperation from rejections. He scrutinized the blond with Harry, and a slow, predatory smile touched his own mouth. "A beating, and maybe a bit more, hmmm? Although I'd take the beating over going home unsatisfied. It's difficult to find someone up for more than a beating." Mason started to move forward, only for Harry to catch on his shoulder and hold him back. He turned to face Harry with a displeased, narrow-eyed look. "What?"

"Timing. Make a plan first. You're the gentleman here. Offer to buy him a drink; he's almost finished with the one he's holding. You'll take him up to the bar and it'll separate him from his friends. Meet me there." Harry locked eyes with Mason, imparting with a look how focused he needed to be right now or Harry was going to have to do this for him next time and that would be less convenient. 

Somewhat mollified now that he knew Harry wasn't trying to challenge him, Mason straightened up. He considered the blond for another moment, drained the rest of his glass, and then slowly began to walk towards the group. Harry made his way to the bar, all the while keeping an eye on his mark.

Mason wasn't practiced at this. The subs turned an open but slightly skeptical eye on him, and the leatherman was displeased at being interrupted. Something about Mason must have been to taste, though. The draw couldn't have been money, as obtaining a membership to the club fairly guaranteed that everyone there was well-off and financially stable, or juggling debt well enough to be convincing. Either the relaxing effects of the chemical cocktail he'd imbibed had improved his charisma by stripping away some of his performance anxiety, or the blond man preferred suits to leather. Either way, when Mason jerked his head towards the bar with an inviting look, the blond nodded and bid farewell to his friends before following Mason across the room.

Harry sipped his champagne by the bar and waited while the two of them spoke. Mason was getting a little too close, and Harry kept a careful eye on them, ready to intervene if Mason said something stupid or tried to get too forward. Fortunately, it appeared he wasn't ready to get there on his own just yet. He whispered something in the blond's ear while they waited for the bartender that caused the man to laugh coyly and push at his chest. Harry could tell it was merely a display. The blond was leaning in again to hear more of whatever Mason was saying and then the bartender got to them and they were ordering. 

Harry waited through more of their conversation until he saw the bartender returning with the blond's drink. He moved through the crowd, spotting them both with a look of surprise. "Ah, Mason! Who's your new friend?" Harry sidled up and insinuated himself beside the other dom while the blond was distracted from his drink. Harry patted Mason on the back as though they were good friends, again using the gesture to pass his hand over the momentarily unattended drink on the table before the blond picked it up again. 

" _Charles_ ," Mason spoke with pleasure, happy that his evening looked to be taking a turn for the better. "Charles, this is Michael, a friend of mine." Mason flashed Harry a smile, all brilliant white teeth. "Charles was just telling me a bit about himself. It looks like he hasn't been able to find anyone to his tastes recently either. Quite a disappointment, considering the reputation of this place. You'd think there'd be more variety."

"Indeed." Harry took a sip of his drink, letting his eyes pass over Charles and letting Charles take him in in return. The boy obviously liked what he saw, but Harry kept his posture reserved and did not attempt to let their eye contact linger longer than necessary. Mason could hold his own in the looks department, and he already had one arm around Charles' waist. "And what type of pleasure are you looking forward to this evening, Charles?" Harry asked over the din of the crowd and low thrum of the music. 

Charles' smile widened and he glanced to Mason, a good sign, before he answered Harry's question. "Just a good fuck. No strings." 

Harry could tell there was more to it than that, but he let his smile widen and his eyes catch Mason's approvingly. The answer suited his purposes whether Charles was rebounding from some recent split or just fed up with the scene altogether. "You're a lucky man tonight, Mason," Harry commented. 

"We'll have to see about that. Charles hasn't made up his mind yet, although I have." He winked at the blond and took another sip of his drink. That was just enough to hide the flash of hunger on Mason's face. "I've never had a partner who stuck around complain, but I don't want to get halfway into a scene only to find out we're not on the same page."

Mason didn't take his eyes off of Charles, but his smile turned even more flirtatious. "Michael's hoping to watch, tonight. How do you feel about voyeurism?"

Charles took a sip of his drink to think about that, looking Harry up and down while he did so. This boy was no blushing virgin, but he'd need incentive. Harry gave him a smile and the boy looked like he'd warmed to the idea. Charles shrugged one shoulder, no doubt pleased with the attention. "Maybe," he drawled, posh accent coming a bit strong as the alcohol, and Merlin's pill, began to hit. Colour rose to Charles' cheeks and he leaned a little more into Mason. "If you think you can make it extra good for me, I might not mind so much." 

"Oh, _trust me_ , this'll be like nothing you've ever had before," Mason assured him. His hand slid up and down Charles' side, trying to coax him with touch. "You'll be getting lots of detailed attention. You don't even have to see Michael, if that's putting you off. There's a couple of special rooms in back that I've seen. Real private, and a separate viewing room so you don't see who's watching."

Charles took another long sip and pressed up to Mason. His lip curled back into a grin and he let his hair fall into his eyes. "I don't mind that much." He shifted his hip suggestively against Mason's groin and wrapped an arm around the man's neck. 

"I'll stay for the beginning," Harry suggested, "and then I'll leave you two to your 'privacy'." Harry needed to stick around just long enough to egg Mason on, and to plant the cameras in the room. "In fact, why don't I let you work out the details while I secure you a room?" That got a satisfied leer from Charles, who'd tucked his head under Mason's chin, possibly hoping to be chastised just as much as he was hoping to get close. 

Harry thought he wouldn't have much time to work, but he finished installing the cameras with minutes to spare. He had some time to sit on the room's leather sofa before Charles and Mason strolled through the doorway entwined with each other. Mason glanced at the equipment displayed on one side of the room with distinct approval. "I hope you're not reconsidering your promise not to touch, Michael, because you're going to be getting _quite_ the show. Charles here isn't as much of a virgin to this as he put on."

Harry chuckled softly. "Oh no, not at all. I'm looking forward to the performance." 

The pair were both stumbling now, but still coherent. Both would have trouble remembering this by the time it was through. Or rather, just Mason would. Charles pressed his slim body to Mason's front, needy and impatient, and bit at his ear. He paid Harry no attention. Harry had not been the one working him up for the past ten minutes and was not going to join. 

Mason walked Charles backwards towards the St Andrew's Cross set against the back wall. Both of them weren't entirely sure of their footing, but they made it well enough. Mason whispered something filthy in Charles' ear, to judge by the way the blond laughed and gave him a playful shove. Mason wasn't having any of that; he caught the arm and twisted Charles around, pressing him against the cross and securing one hand, then the other. The pair must have already decided on the scene and their safeword, as Charles didn't seem the least bit alarmed at Mason's aggression or his hands being bound.

Harry had expected Charles to be bound in some manner, but was no less pleased to see it. One step closer. He watched for a few minutes as Charles tried to reach Mason even as his hands were bound and was repeatedly corrected for it, each time a little rougher. Charles' clothes were stripped after the fact, bunching around the wrists and the ankles with little care. And that was how Mason seemed to be playing this. He wanted what he wanted and Charles was simply there to satisfy that. 

Even so, Mason seemed to be steering clear of anything too unusual. The drugs were still working, that much was clear. He was rougher with Charles from the get-go than would be normal for new partners playing together, but habit was making him stick to safer territory even though his judgment and inhibitions were impaired. A couple trips to the equipment side of the room and several minutes later, Mason still hadn't progressed past the usual staples of a BDSM scene. Charles' back was a bit reddened from flails, and he was squirming from clamps fastened to his nipples, but he was still comfortable. Maybe even a bit disappointed.

Harry rose, keeping his drink in hand to signal he did not intend to interrupt. Slowly he moved around the room, ostensibly to get a better view. Harry had to get one thing out of the way before they truly began. He stood a safe distance apart from both of them, non-threatening, a casual observer. "Look at him," he said to Mason as though Charles couldn't hear. "Look at that pout. Do you really want to leave him to make faces like that? Talk back? Even scream if he wanted to?"

"Not like anyone outside is going to mind. You seen the walls?" Mason asked, but he frowned. He didn't mind screams, even liked them, but the idea of Charles talking back displeased him. Harry watched that displeasure percolate and fill Mason, until he crossed back over to the equipment with a stormy frown.

He came back with a solid-looking ball gag, all talk of safe words forgotten. Charles' head was pulled back by the hair, and the gag was slipped into his mouth before he processed what was happening. This was the blond's first cue that something was amiss. He made sounds of protest around the gag, pulling at his arm restraints and twisting his head. Mason lost patience and slammed Charles' forehead against the wall, securing the gag while the man was disoriented. Charles gave a muffled shout and tried to kick backwards, and then Mason's attention was diverted to securing Charles' legs to the cross as well.

Harry smiled wide and let Mason see it. He began his slow pacing again, bringing himself back into the sidelines. "Very good. I think you're better like this, Mason. Taking charge. I know you two must have worked the whole thing out beforehand, but that leaves no room for _spontaneity_ , don't you think?" Harry took a sip of his champagne and considered Charles as though he were an extension of the rack. Charles' head whipped toward Harry in frustration, aptly blaming him for taking his voice away. Harry tutted at him. "You don't want to be looking at me now. That's very rude."

Mason's fingers gripped Charles' hair painfully tight, turning his head until he faced the wall. "You'll look there until I tell you otherwise, or you'll be sorry," he hissed. "And yes. Everyone wants to do things by a script, and that's just _boring_. Much more interesting to go where the mood takes you and give people a little surprise. Spices things up."

Mason gave Charles another look, now that the blond was restrained and gagged and could no longer see him. It was _hungry_ , and the sort of expression that would have made Charles run away had that been what he'd seen when they'd first been introduced.

" _Very_ good," Harry reiterated, letting the praise wash over Mason as he noted sweat beading at the man's temples. He was getting excited now. "Coincidentally, I don't think he'll complain if you do." Harry coloured his voice with amusement and watched with satisfaction as a smile of appreciation touched Mason's mouth. A little bit of levity helped loosen him up. Harry drew closer, posture still casual, drink still teetering in one hand. "Why don't you try and find out?"

"Try and find out," Mason repeated stupidly. He looked feverish. Where they were had been forgotten, and Mason was forgetting consequences very quickly. He glanced at Harry, insecure and resenting himself for his insecurity, trying to talk himself up. "Yeah, yeah. He won't complain, not with that gag. Maybe not later too, if he knows what's good for him. I'll make him sorry he said anything, if he does."

"Very, _very_ good." Harry said softly, almost a whisper between them he was so close now, standing just behind Mason's shoulder. "I know you want to. Have wanted to do far more than that for a very long time now. What's holding you back? If you tell me it's some misguided sense of chivalry, I'm going to be very disappointed." Harry dropped his voice even softer. "If you tell me it's because of what they'll think of you, I'd be even more disappointed."

"I don't give a _fuck_ what _they_ think of me!" A nerve had been hit. Mason's lips peeled back into a snarl. He didn't want to seek Harry's approval, but part of him had accepted that Harry was his peer. He was frustrated, and he wanted to impress, and the slight hint of disapproval in Harry's voice was pushing him towards a breaking point. "He said yes, so I get to do what I want. But I can't just... let him walk _out_ of here without an ear, or skin on his back. He'll be a whiny little fuck about it, subs _always_ are, about _everything_."

"Well there is one way around that," Harry said calmly. "If only you were willing to do what you _really_ want." 

Charles made a loud noise, jerked at his restraints. He was twisting his hands, trying to find the latch to release himself but it was too far back. Harry shook his head and made a low sound of disapproval, directing Mason's attention where he wanted it, knowing that if Mason got a taste, Harry's words would be even more appealing. 

Mason gave Charles' back a frustrated look. He still couldn't quite focus. After a few moments, Mason turned and walked back to the equipment. When he returned, he was carrying a few different tools, and no gloves. Evidently all thoughts of his own safety, as well as his partner's, had left his mind.

One particularly spiked toy was meant for hitting gently, or just scratching across the skin. The little metal barbs weren't meant for a strong blow, but Mason let out a hiss of frustration, drew his arm back, and hit Charles with full force. The man screamed through the gag, and after a few more blows, little red dots patterned Charles' back as the small puncture wounds began to seep blood.

"That's more like it!" Harry infused his voice with enthusiasm and stepped back to give Mason the floor, both gracefully bowing out and avoiding the potential blood spatter. Charles cried through the gag, Mason laughed, and Harry grinned, spreading his arms wide in praise. "Now we're talking. This is about you now, Mason, _all_ about you. You've earned it. You've won your prize, now _take it_ " Their eyes met and Mason looked wild, dark hair dishevelled and eyes sparking. Harry knew that he had that look in his eyes himself. It wasn't hard to convey, not when Mason was dancing along so beautifully for him. 

Harry stayed just long enough to be certain that Mason was going to continue right down to the end Merlin wanted. Timing his exit was tricky - Mason was oblivious, but other club patrons might catch a glimpse into the room if he exited at the wrong time. Thankfully, Mason had been right about the room's padding. It was designed to muffle sound, and club patrons and staff were used to screams. They would have difficulty telling the difference between frightened sounds from people in an intense scene and true distress calls.

Merlin was completely, utterly silent in Harry's earpiece as Harry exited the club and made his way back to the van.

Harry, however, was a little strung out after the whole affair. He quickened his footsteps down the streets, just as careful to avoid CCTV as when he'd arrived, but now with a greater need to get to his destination. He spotted the van where he'd left it sitting innocuously halfway down a quiet street under a thick grove of trees. Harry rapped at the door, his skin itching all the while.

It took a moment for the lock to click and the door to swing open. Merlin barely glanced at Harry as he got in, and he had an expression on his face Harry had never seen before - pupils blown, skin flushed, and far more _present_ than he normally was. If Harry had gotten more glimpses than anyone else of the Merlin who lived beneath a layer of ice, what he was now wasn't just a hazy outline any longer. 

Once Merlin had confirmation that Harry was inside and had shut the door, his attention shifted back to the monitors. Tinny screams could be heard from his earpiece. From the look of things, Mason had cut off Charles' stained clothes and had progressed to more unpleasant things.

Harry moved up to the monitors beside Merlin, wanting to see just how much he'd missed. It was odd, Merlin sitting there beside him, not speaking to one another. Merlin was just as rapt to the screens as Harry was after being the one to instigate the entire thing. Harry watched Mason move. There was a distance between them now. Mason was a more like a top Harry had wound up and let spin. As minutes passed and Mason began to work his captive raw, the strangeness of Merlin sitting silent beside Harry lessened. 

Charles was stretched taut and straining against the bonds, for all the good it did him. Mason had found a particularly large dildo among the room's tools and, for a time, tried to convince Charles that he'd be released if he was compliant and did as he was told. When Charles refused to follow commands and arch back into the toy, Mason tired of the game of trying to make the blond fuck himself and pushed in anyways. Blood trailed down Charles' legs in little rivulets.

Mason decided to proceed on to the knife and medical sounds he'd found among the room's stash. Merlin rocked forward to get a closer view.

And that was when Harry found himself far less interested in what was playing out on the screen and far more interested in the man beside him. Merlin was getting off on this. And that strangely did not put Harry off. After all, he'd set it up; this was his work Merlin was enjoying. Harry wasn't proud of killing a man, but....he found it very easy to take a certain amount of pride in Merlin's appreciation for his work. 

Harry found a chair, pulled it up to the workstation, and dropped down into it to watch. 

It was very unlikely Merlin had ever let anyone else see him like this before. Or, at least, anyone who had survived the encounter. There had been jokes, of course, because handlers and support got to see a lot of the more gruesome and uncomfortable portions of field work without ever truly being out in the middle of the action, but Merlin had always been detached and professional. _Detached_ wasn't the word Harry would use for him now, watching Mason's form on the screens as he started to flay the skin from Charles' body.

It was strange in that all Harry could do about it was precisely nothing. This didn't actually change anything about their arrangement. If anything, this two way confidence between them merely solidified it. No more. No less. Merlin wanted Harry to provide a service of sorts and Harry had, not unlike the way they functioned in their daily work even if Harry had to admit this was uniquely...interesting. Edging into the territory of 'thrilling' even, due to its personal touches. Harry kept half his attention on Merlin, just out of the corner of his eye, as they watched Mason get his cock out. 

Merlin still hadn't made a sound, or any move to touch himself. He simply watched, eyes on the screen and aware of Harry at his periphery while Mason fucked into the damage his force had left behind, one hand squeezed around Charles' throat. The knife from earlier slipped between the flayed man's ribs. The noise _that_ provoked from Charles was enough to get Merlin to move again - steepling his fingers in front of his mouth and rapt on the finale that was unfolding.

For all of Mason's fantasies, he was unskilled and unpracticed. Whatever his knife had hit, it was major. Or perhaps the shock and blood loss had already been enough; it pooled on the floor. Mason's shoes were covered. There was no question of him being immediately caught by the police. Merlin watched the body secured to the cross go limp and still, and a sigh escaped his lips. He turned the monitors off, but left the remote cameras recording. Their feed lights flickered on the control panel.

Harry didn't immediately turn to the man beside him. He let his eyes fall closed, giving Merlin a moment to collect himself if the man needed it. 

"Time to call it a night, then?" Harry asked. There was no need to retrieve the cameras. The police would not be sweeping the room. The crime and motive would be clear and Mason's description of Harry would be suspect at best if he even remembered Harry by the end of it all. Those cameras wouldn't be found until they redid the paint on the ceiling and there was no way to trace them back to Kingsman. 

"Yes, I think so." Merlin's voice was off, thicker than usual, and he still hadn't quite withdrawn, but some of the barriers were back up. Merlin stood and switched seats without looking at Harry, moving to the front and getting behind the wheel. Only when he was settled did he glance over his shoulder at Harry, cool and impassive as ever but for the hint of a smile on his lips. "I'll drive you back."

Harry returned the small smile and moved up to the passenger seat. He sniffed at his jacket and deemed that he hadn't gotten too close to anyone that night to pick up the scent of the various, mingling colognes throughout the club nor the smoke outside. He would not need to take a shower before he returned home, just take off his coat and jacket to be on the safe side. 

"Much appreciated." Harry met Merlin's gaze through their reflection in the windscreen. 

Merlin didn't know what to make of him. He trusted Harry to a certain extent - he had blackmail of his own, regarding Eggsy and now with recorded video showing Harry present during the first portion of Charles' torture and murder, though it would be figurative and literal suicide to try to use them as such - but hints of unease showed through. Much like Harry hadn't been certain how far he could trust Merlin once he found out about Eggsy, Merlin didn't know how far to trust him regarding his own interests. Neither man had experience in letting people close.

So Harry didn't pry. Not any more than he had to. He was confident in some aspects of their understanding of one another. Both of them were comfortable in their working relationship. Had been for a very long time. This new, outside of work relationship would either fit into a similar mould, or it would fall apart. Harry was certain, however, that if that happened both he and Merlin would want as little damage to come of it as possible. In their line of work, that could potentially mean one of them getting killed. But.... In their case, for two agents who'd worked together for so long, that would be a very difficult endeavour. Not impossible, but difficult. Harry learned to trust his instincts on these things over time, and his instincts told him that with enough experience, he and Merlin could get along in their private lives.

Most of the ride was silent, but the quality changed the further from the club they got. The awkwardness began to dissolve. It never became comfortable, exactly, but there was a relaxed aspect to the quiet, and after a few minutes Merlin stopped glancing at Harry.

Only when they'd begun to reach the right neighborhood did Merlin speak again. "...how is your project progressing? Since you haven't asked for any further assistance, I had been presuming that things are going well."

Harry's mouth quirked and he knew that was all Merlin really needed to see. "Very well," Harry confirmed as they passed under the illumination of street lamps and the occasional oncoming headlights. Merlin slowed as he rounded the corner, pulling up to the kerb a ways away from Harry's house. "He is..." Harry didn't know how to put it in a way Merlin would understand, until he decided to hell with it. "Everything I expected and more. A handful. Never slows down. Hates his homework, but he'll do it if I tell him." Harry's smile widened and his gaze fixed at an insignificant point just beyond the windscreen. "....he's very curious. And bold when he wants to be."

Merlin made a noncommittal sound, but he gave Harry a knowing look. "That would be interesting to see, someday. Sounds troublesome, but it's not _my_ trouble, and you obviously feel the benefits outweigh the detractions." Merlin paused and glanced out the windows as casually as he could; vans weren't common in this neighborhood, and lingering for too long at this time of night would cause people to notice. "Have you planned for what you're going to do when you're on assignment?"

Harry glanced over at Merlin. "I've thought about it. A caretaker for the days I'll be out consecutively is all he'd really need. He's old enough to take care of himself for the most part." Harry could feel a frown of distaste forming upon his mouth and didn't stifle it. He wasn't acting anymore. "I'm loathe to let strangers into my home unattended though. Especially with Eggsy." Harry knew how hypocritical that made him sound, if he'd said it to almost anyone else who understood his situation. But to Merlin...perhaps not so. He chewed his lip in thought.

Merlin glanced at Harry. One look at the idea he could see forming in Harry's mind was all it took to summon dismay. "Oh, no. You're not... Galahad, I was not _offering_ myself as a nanny service. I have quite enough of that the few times I've had to train and test potential recruits. I have a difficult enough time enduring a class of young adults. I don't handle children."

"I wouldn't be asking you to 'handle' him." Harry's frown slid into a slow smile. "Just look after the house while I'm away for a few days. With him in it. And I think you're doing yourself a discredit; from what I remember you were marvellous with the recruits. Almost none of them shot each other." Harry turned more fully in his seat to face the look of mild horror upon Merlin's face and reveled in it. That a man such as Merlin would be daunted so by _Eggsy_ was enough to force Harry to stifle a grin. "We're pals now, right?"

" _Friends_ , yes. As much as either of us are capable of that sort of thing. I'd appreciate if you never utter 'pals' in my presence again," Merlin groused. The horror and irritation still hadn't faded. "And you're forgetting the ones who nearly drowned, in conventional water and in spirits, the attempted plane theft, one lost limb from horseplay, and what happened to the den on the south side of the ground floor. Young adults are excitable and careless. Children are shorter, but just as impulsive and damnably inquisitive."

"So I'll see you on Thursday, then?" Harry batted his eyes. He saw Merlin's eyelid twitch in response. "I've got that thing in Paris for two days and I remember you said you had hours of research to do; why not do it from home? Or mine?" Harry was unfazed by the murder in Merlin’s glare and before the man could speak again, Harry reached for the door handle. "Ta for now, I do appreciate it!" 

Harry let himself out of the van while Merlin cursed after him. 

Merlin would be irritated, and voice his complaints, but Harry's self-satisfaction only grew. He was absolutely confident that Merlin would comply despite all his objections. Since Merlin was off rotation for the next week after a few intense assignments, he'd be stuck on research and intel, the sort that could be done anywhere. He would quickly become bored on what was practically a holiday as far as Kingsman work went, and Harry knew Merlin was curious about his young ward. Curious enough that he'd overcome his distaste at the idea of babysitting to see for himself just how things were progressing.

That thought drew Harry's mind to what waited for him back home: his own bed, and a little body keeping it warm for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further notes on the extra warning: Harry plays the devil at Merlin's request and convinces a mark to act out his torture/murder fantasies at a high end BDSM club while they record it. If you want to skip this part, stop reading when Harry says "If only you were willing to do what you _really_ want." and pick up again at "Harry didn't immediately turn to the man beside him."


	11. Chapter 11

Harry’s step quickened as he turned down the walk and, just before opening his door, he checked his watch. Nearly 3 am. He frowned before he slipped inside. 

The house was dark. Eggsy had turned off all the lights, Harry noted as he took off his coat and set it on the rack. Walking silently through the house, Harry saw signs of Eggsy--the paper and notebooks piled on one corner of the couch, the glass of water on the coffee table he'd neglected to bring to the sink, trainers kicked off at the corner of the hallway rug. Eggsy brought a mild sort of disarray into Harry's home, but Harry found himself touched by it nonetheless. 

Harry ascended the stairs as silently as he'd come in, removing his jacket and cuff links on the way. He could shut out the events of the night, but he found the itching anticipation under his skin hadn't quite gone away, and as Harry slipped his tie from his neck and drew back the door to his room, that itch found an outlet tucked under a mound of covers. 

Eggsy was curled up right in the middle of the bed. Turned over on one side, the covers rose and fell slightly with his slow breathing. Harry could just make out the soft curves of the boy's face and long pale lashes. Even in a wealthy neighborhood, the light pollution of London only improved by so much, and the glow filtered through around the edges of the curtains.

Eggsy didn't stir as Harry approached, or even as the covers were peeled back from one edge. Harry found that one small hand had been outstretched towards his pillow.

The corners of his mouth lifted and, gently, very gently, Harry let his fingers trail up Eggsy's side. Eggsy had been getting used to Harry lying next to him over the past few days. More than that, he'd been getting used to Harry's touches in the middle of the night. It made Harry wonder as he encountered bare skin where Eggsy's night shirt had pushed up past his hip and his shorts had slid down to reveal the tantalizing dip of skin between his thigh and hipbone. Harry kept his touch smooth, not too light to be ticklish and not too quick to wake Eggsy. Harry imagined he could get away with all sorts of things if Eggsy was tired enough. Or with Merlin's pills, but he pushed the thought aside as quickly as it came. It wasn't needed. Eggsy was here under his hands and if Eggsy woke right then, he'd still want to be. 

The itch under Harry's skin spread into a dull ache that centred in his groin as his thumb drew down to the hem of Eggsy's pyjama bottoms. Harry had woken him before with his mouth on Eggsy's cock, but tonight he wanted something different. Harry didn't want to wait. 

He undressed, laid down next to Eggsy, and gently turned himself over the boy. With Harry in his boxers there was almost no barrier between them and he let himself rub up against Eggsy before he began placing kisses on Eggsy's neck. Harry tucked his face there and breathed in the scent of him and the shower and shampoo and slowly rocked his hips down against Eggsy's.

Eggsy woke up slowly, all heavy eyes and sedate movements. He was confused for a few seconds as he transitioned from dreaming to find an arm wrapped around his chest, lips against his neck, and something warm and firm sliding against him.

Once his brain puzzled out what was happening, Eggsy was wide awake. He tried to turn and glance behind him. "...'arry? What time is it?"

"Mm, very early," Harry mumbled. "I did promise you I'd wake you up." He slid his tongue up Eggsy's neck until he reached the juncture of his jaw. Harry didn't stop the slow roll of his hips. He let himself sink against Eggsy more firmly, having to bend a little to press and kiss where he wanted at the same time, but Harry didn't mind so much. "Were you dreaming?" he asked against Eggsy's ear. 

Harry was rewarded with a little gasp and the body in front of him squirmed. "Um...y-yeah, I don't... I don't remember what, though." Dreams didn't seem important just then. Not with Harry's voice in his ear, and the way his hand was sneaking under the hem of his shirt, and the way he was sliding against Eggsy suggestively. Memories of the other times Harry had pressed himself between his legs flooded through Eggsy's mind, and suddenly he was having a difficult time thinking straight. "You missed me, huh?"

"I missed you very much." Harry grazed the lobe of Eggsy's ear with his teeth. He let his fingers graze over the little nubs on Eggsy's chest and waited for him to squirm before moving back down again, slipping his hand under Eggsy's shorts. "Did you miss me?" Harry asked. He found it a very strange feeling, not having been there when Eggsy went to bed, like he'd missed something important. The question rolled of Harry's tongue as a tease, but he found he was actually curious. 

Eggsy had a difficult time responding. Harry was doing his best to be distracting, and he was succeeding rather well. "Yeah. It was... weird, you not being here. Kinda... kinda creepy, so much room with nobody there. I-" 

Harry's fingers curled around Eggsy's cock and Eggsy momentarily lost his voice. Harry's thumb rubbed over the tip and Eggsy gave a quiet whine and shifted his hips against the touch. "...don't know how you lived here by y'self."

Harry lifted to look down at him and cracked a smile. "I was _very_ lonely." He saw Eggsy fighting a smile of his own. Harry bent down and kissed the other side of Eggsy's neck. "You saved me, Eggsy," Harry teased as he pushed Eggsy's shorts down, trying not to think about how worked up he'd become. Maybe it was the club or maybe it afterwards with Merlin, but Harry's blood was running hot. He kicked the covers all the way down to their feet and pushed his own shorts down, letting Eggsy see by the low light how aroused Harry was. 

"Saved you from... h-hey," Eggsy laughed as Harry's fingers brushed over a particularly ticklish spot along his inner thigh. He took a deep breath upon glancing down and seeing all of Harry - his bare length of chest, the way his hair fell forward and outlined Harry's face as he leaned closer, the tension and flow of the muscles in his thighs, and the stiff, flushed line his cock made in stark contrast to the rest of his pale skin. Harry had gone slow to try to keep from frightening him, and Eggsy wasn't exactly frightened... but Harry was intimidating. Because of who he was, and how much experience he had, and how much _bigger_ he was. "Were you really that lonely?"

Harry hummed and continued to massage Eggsy's thigh, edging higher and higher until he brushed against Eggsy's small but very rigid cock. "I was when I saw what I was missing out on," Harry admitted. Eggsy couldn't know how far back Harry was thinking, from the first time he saw Eggsy to the first time he realised he _wanted_ Eggsy. _Desperately._ A very long time. But he used his fingers, wrapping loosely around Eggsy, to distract the boy. Harry didn't need to talk about that right now. He needed Eggsy here with him, just where Harry'd wanted. 

Eggsy's lips parted and the words vanished from where they'd rested on his tongue. This much, he was used to. It was still new, but Harry had touched him like this several times now, and Eggsy trusted him with this. His hands were equally as large in comparison with the rest of him, but less frightening than other unknowns. Eggsy had revisited the books in Harry's cabinet while he'd been away, pouring over the pictures, and the thought of trying to do some of what was in those books made Eggsy's stomach clench with anxiety. He was sure that Harry was too big for those things to work.

Thankfully, Harry hadn't asked for anything of the sort yet.

"Put your hands on me, Eggsy," Harry whispered into Eggsy's ear. "I want to feel you..." But then Harry had a better idea. He got down on his side and drew Eggsy into his arms, back to Harry's front. He kissed Eggsy's ear and slid in between his legs. That, too, Eggsy had become familiar with, but this time Harry found his hand and drew it up to curl around the head of Harry's cock every time it thrust through. Harry's breath caught and he knew Eggsy felt him tremble, but again he distracted Eggsy with kisses wrapping his fingers around Eggsy's length in return. Harry could hold on like this, even if he wanted to turn Eggsy over and spread him wide. Harry just couldn't shake that vision from his mind. 

Eggsy was on edge. This was different than how things had gone before. When Harry had done similar, cloth had been between them. Now there was _nothing_. Eggsy could feel Harry wrapped around him from behind, and concentrated heat between his legs. The position gave him a _very_ close look at the tip of Harry's cock. Harry's guidance was a bit of a relief, in that Eggsy didn't have to worry about touching him the wrong way. 

Eggsy felt Harry thrust between his legs, and watched precum bead at the tip of Harry's cock before his hand was guided to smear it over the head. Eggsy's breathing turned shallow and rapid. He wasn't in danger, but in that position and with what Harry was doing, all he could think about were the pictures from the books that showed penetration, and trying to imagine what that would be like.

"Want to feel all of you," Harry gasped as he rocked against Eggsy, one hand guiding Eggsy's and the other stroking him in time. Harry felt him shiver. It sent a thrill of desire through Harry's whole body. He grit his teeth. Violence was still written into Harry's head from the beginning of the night, but he wouldn't let himself be too rough with Eggsy. Even if he pressed a little harder, or a little longer. Even if his touch was a little more demanding. Harry closed his eyes and buried his face against Eggsy's hair. Merlin was right, this boy was swiftly becoming his everything.

Eggsy didn't know what to do. Not with Harry curled around him. He didn't want to be anywhere else, and he didn't exactly feel unsafe. _Overwhelmed_ , perhaps. Eggsy could feel Harry tense behind and around him, feel the raw strength in Harry's arms, and knew on some level that Harry could hurt him badly if he wanted to. The knowledge made him dizzy, particularly when weighed against the fact that the hands and arms that could break him were currently wrapped around his cock, holding him close, guiding his fingers to give Harry pleasure in return. There was nowhere to look but down, and so Eggsy did, but he didn't know how to react to sticky, flushed skin thrust up between his legs and desperate for attention.

"Eggsy...," Harry whispered, voice soft and breathless. Half of him knew how daunting this must be for Eggsy. It was the half of him that never quite let go of the cool, calculating awareness he had of his surroundings, but Harry didn't want to let go. He didn't even want to ease off. He wanted Eggsy, wanted him _so much_ , and Eggsy....Eggsy wasn't yet showing signs of discomfort. Harry closed his eyes and tried to talk. "Really did miss you. All I could think about was how much I'd rather be home. Want to keep you like this always...."

Eggsy heard Harry's words from a distance. He felt it more in the possessive way Harry's arm tightened to draw him more firmly against his chest. Harry's voice rumbled through him, in his ears and against his spine, humming into his core. Between that and the way Harry was touching him and he was touching Harry, Eggsy felt a dull ache spread through him. Having Harry _want_ him was all he had wanted for months. Having the older man _need_ him. With so much in his life that was uncertain, Harry felt more solid. Eggsy felt _safe_. From hunger, from homelessness, from the harsh problems in life, from judgement about who he was and his sexuality... and he had who he wanted. Eggsy dipped a finger between glans and foreskin and felt Harry jerk behind him, and the heat building at the boy's core only intensified.

Harry kept stroking, kept pushing between Eggsy's thighs and into his hand. He rewarded Eggsy with the softest nips to the ear and an answering squeeze whenever Eggsy grew bolder with his strokes. Harry wasn't going to last much longer like that. He could feel it. His body was too worked up, had been for too long, and Eggsy felt too good in his arms. When Harry twisted his grip over the head of Eggsy's cock and Eggsy mimicked the motion on Harry, Harry gasped aloud. His hips thrust harder, turning, almost pinning Eggsy under him. He had just enough self restraint not to, but only just. Harry's pace sped and he gave up on talking altogether. 

Eggsy could hear him, but he wished he could _see_ him. There was something about watching Harry fall to pieces. Hardly any time had passed since Eggsy had confessed his feelings and a more physical and romantic side to their relationship had started, but Eggsy had seen... glimpses. A couple of times. Some of what he saw frightened him, and some of it made him feel strangely powerful despite the fact that he knew he was much smaller and weaker than Harry.

More fragile, and less powerful, but he had the power to do _this_. To make his friend lonely, to make Harry think about him and want to come home, and make him gasp and lose control. It made something in Eggsy ache. He wanted more of this, and he wanted _more_.

"Next time," Harry whispered against Eggsy's ear, voice so ragged it sounded almost nothing like Harry at all, "would you let me inside you?" Before Eggsy could think, just as the words left Harry's mouth, his fingers drew down to press against that sweet spot behind Eggsy's balls. From the outside it felt different, but it was no less of a shock coupled with Harry's words and the slow slide of his palm. Harry's fingers were long enough to touch both and he did so without remorse. 

Eggsy couldn't reply. His jaw dropped, and his eyes closed, and somehow that made everything more intense. He could feel the slickness of his coated hand sliding against Harry's cock, and the tension in the body behind him, and Harry's finger pressing where it was just made him _ache_. There was pleasure in it, but longing too. The sensation was strange to feel from the outside, and Eggsy remembered the finger Harry had slipped into him yesterday. He'd been frightened, but it had turned out _so well_.

Harry did it again, stroking Eggsy's cock and then pressing at that spot that sent a quiver of longing through him. The boy couldn't stop himself from gasping and bucking against the touch.

Harry held him fast as much with his body as with his arms locking Eggsy in place. With every passing second Eggsy didn't answer, Harry could guess at the warring ideas in him. Fear and desire, uncertainty weighed against the intensity of the pleasure Harry gave him now. And had given him before. 

"I'd be so good to you," Harry whispered. Feeling Eggsy like this stoked a heat higher and higher in him, but _having_ Eggsy in his arms, keeping him there, filled Harry with warmth enough to mean it. Even as he drove on, as the rhythm of his thrusts grew erratic, as his hand tightened over Eggsy's and he didn't have time for sweet twists of their wrists any longer...as Harry began to lose himself, senses full of nothing but Eggsy. 

"I... I _can't_. You don't..." Fit. Eggsy was afraid in general, but of that most of all. The people in the books seemed happy, but they were all _older_ than he was. Except for the Greek books, but it was hard to tell how happy the boys were from the rigid, alien figures scribed on the pottery. The sex manual book that Harry had bought for him had tips of how to avoid pain, and if that was true for two men who were the same size and equal age, Eggsy could only imagine what might happen with someone who was much, much smaller.

Harry kissed Eggsy's cheek. "It's ok." Harry could barely think. He wasn't quite sure whether he was reassuring Eggsy not to be scared or whether he was trying to say they didn't have to. All he could think was how close he was, how good it felt between Eggsy's thighs and in his hand and all Harry wanted was more. "It's ok," Harry whispered again. "You're safe." It felt so good to say that, to mean it, to wrap Eggsy in Harry's arms and protect him. "Won't hurt you," Harry gasped. That feeling spread through him like liquid warmth before he realised he was coming, hips stuttering, wetness painting their hands. 

That, and the sound of Harry gasping in Eggsy's ear, and the way his hand tightened as he came, was enough to push Eggsy over the edge. He moaned and canted his hips against Harry's palm. Even laying sideways as they were, some of Harry spilled onto his skin. Eggsy felt a mix of emotions - pleasure and lust, pride and shame, curiosity and embarrassment. Sex was taboo in general, from what Eggsy had seen, and sex between people like them especially so. All the boy could do was cling to Harry and the fact that Harry wanted and cared for him.

Seconds later left Harry gasping and boneless, draped over Eggsy, Eggsy equally drained in his arms. With Harry's grip slackened, he didn't stop Eggsy from turning around in his arms and when they were finally face to face, Harry stroked a hand, the one that wasn't wet with cum, affectionately over Eggsy's temple. 

Eggsy was beautiful--his hair impossibly mussed, his eyes bright and clear in spite of the hour and their exertions, his lips pink and flushed. Harry was too tired to say all the things he wanted to. He wasn't quite sure it would come out right even if he did. He had to remember how new this was for Eggsy, and how strange. Harry felt so close.... In a way, he'd known Eggsy for years, but Eggsy had none of that perspective.

Eggsy didn't know what to say. He'd missed Harry, especially the feeling of going to sleep with the older man's weight and warmth beside him. He loved hearing and seeing things that made him really feel treasured: the fact that Harry had missed him, that he felt lonely without him, that he wanted him enough to want this and _more_.

Eggsy just didn't know if he could do anything more. Part of him was very curious and wanted to see what it was like, but when Harry's cock was in front of him and in his hands, he froze up. It wasn't that he didn't trust Harry, who held him gently and whispered promises that he'd be careful. Something about taking that step was just frightening.

Harry took a deep breath and kissed Eggsy's cheek. "Go back to sleep," he said softly, absolving Eggsy of the need to bring it up. It wouldn't be long before they had to wake again, and Harry didn't look like he was even thinking about it any longer. His eyes were tired and darker than Eggsy usually saw them in the low light, but still just as soft. None of the tension Harry held in his body when he'd woken Eggsy was left in him. The demanding fervour in his gaze was gone. 

Harry wiped off his hand and pulled his boxers back up before he redid Eggsy's clothes and wrapped him in Harry's arms. It was comfortable, familiar. 

Eggsy was too exhausted to argue. As soon as Harry wrapped around him, it wasn't long before he drifted back off to sleep. His subconscious turned the problem over in his mind, however, and Eggsy's dreams were strange - fantasies where Harry was sharp-eyed and demanding and not himself, dressed in a soldier's fatigues. Eggsy was pinned to the bed and devoured, Harry slipping into him easily and teasing until Eggsy's legs were wrapped around his waist. Sometime during the dream, Harry's face shifted, and Eggsy looked up to see his father staring down at him, just the same as his last portrait had looked.

Eggsy woke with a gasp, covered in sweat some time later that morning.

Harry was still asleep next to him and the alarm was set to go off in ten minutes. Ten minutes before he had to get up and get ready for school. 

Harry usually got up with him and made breakfast, but he always left after Eggsy caught the bus. Right now, he looked like he was passed out for good, hair in disarray over his forehead and half his face buried into the pillow. Harry's arms had moved during the night, but they were still very close. Eggsy was sure that had Harry not been so tired, he'd have woken the moment Eggsy did with the movement he'd made. 

Eggsy took a moment to calm his racing heart. He didn't know what the dream meant, or why it had disturbed him so much. He wasn't with Harry because of his father. It was strange, of course, knowing that Harry had known his father and that they were around the same age. Of _course_ it was strange. It just didn't seem to matter.

Odd feelings wasn't the only thing the dream had drawn up to the surface. Eggsy looked up at Harry's face, so relaxed in sleep. The lines were starker like this, in the early morning light. Nothing about them detracted from Harry; they made him more attractive, somehow. Eggsy licked his lips, contemplating.

Harry had woken him a couple of times in a certain way. Eggsy thought it only fair that he try the same, as an experiment. He wanted to take back a measure of control, _prove_ to himself that he wasn't afraid after how badly the dream had shaken him. He _wasn't_ afraid, and he could _do_ this, and the look on Harry's face would be _worth_ it.

Eggsy glanced up to make sure Harry was still out like a light, then slid out from his grasp. He wandered over to the alarm clock and turned it off before climbing back onto the bed and pulling back the covers. After another pause, when Harry didn't wake up, Eggsy felt a bit bolder. His hands went to the waistband of Harry's pants.

It was strange, doing this to someone who was sleeping. Eggsy had touched Harry there just days ago, and though it was still a little daunting regardless, it seemed even stranger that Harry wasn't awake for it. The elastic came down easily, however, and Eggsy got his second good look at Harry below the waist. The hair there was trimmed neatly, and that Eggsy had noticed before, but he'd never seen Harry not hard. It still looked very different from his own, dauntingly bigger even if it wasn't erect. 

Harry didn't move at all. His breathing didn't even change. 

Eggsy looked up anyways, nervous about Harry's reaction and just how intimidating he was. When Harry didn't stir, Eggsy relaxed a little. His attention shifted downward again, and he took advantage of the moment to look without being watched. Part of him wondered if he'd look similar, someday. As it was, Eggsy felt embarrassed. He was so small in comparison, even when Harry wasn't hard.

After one more glance to make sure Harry hadn't woken up, Eggsy shifted downwards. He touched Harry gently, just enough to lean down and take the tip of his cock in his mouth. It was still bigger than he'd been expecting, and had a salty, musky taste he hadn't expected either. Eggsy nearly recoiled, but stopped himself at the last moment.

He held still, but still got no reaction from Harry. He might have imagined the man's eyes moving under his eyelids, but it was hard to tell in the low morning light. The most significant factor--Harry's breathing--did not change. 

The longer Eggsy held, the more he got used to it. The head of Harry's cock was incredibly soft under the foreskin. Eggsy had only ever felt that muscle hard, wrapped in a layer of silky smooth skin and veins and often a great amount of slickness the more excited Harry became. 

Without Harry watching him and the pressure to get things exactly right, Eggsy had more leeway to explore and examine. Everything was softer than he expected, and the odd taste he'd experienced at the beginning quickly went away. As the boy got used to it, it became more apparent that while Harry was bigger, that he wasn't unmanageable; Eggsy wouldn't be able to taste very much, but he could manage the tip just fine as long as he dropped his jaw. Even when Harry got harder, which was happening slowly the longer he sucked on the head. Bitterness hit Eggsy's tongue again, but it wasn't as bad as the first time.

That was the precum he'd felt before he realised. There wasn't much of it, but it was slick and it helped when Eggsy tried going a little deeper, testing his limit when Harry was almost fully erect. He couldn't go very far, but from Harry's unconscious reaction, he seemed to like it anyway. 

Finally Eggsy noticed Harry's breath hitch and soften. When Eggsy glanced up, Harry's lips had parted and he looked like he was still out, but Eggsy didn't think it would be long before Harry woke again. 

Eggsy's tongue stretched forward and dipped between the foreskin and glans. That must have been pleasurable, because he felt Harry quickly harden even further, and another brief taste of bitterness. After a few seconds, Eggsy turned his head and glanced further down, remembering what Harry had done to him. He'd never considered that pressure against his skin might be erotic, but Harry had done something right below his sac. 

Eggsy wasn't able to keep himself from touching as he reached lower. He was curious, if still intimidated. When he did touch, everything was heavier than he was expecting, and also softer underneath a trimmed layer of hair. Intriguingly soft. Eggsy frowned and kept going until he was at the point that he thought Harry had touched on him.

Touching there with a finger was weird. It wasn't one of the places he'd ever thought about before, but...remembering what it had felt like for him.... Eggsy gave it a little more pressure, pushing with his knuckle to get better leverage, and that was when he heard a quiet moan from above. 

Eggsy looked up and saw that Harry hadn't woken, but it was a near thing. His head had moved, his breathing was slowly growing more natural, if still a little deep. Deep in the way Eggsy remembered it being in his ear when Harry would kiss him there while sliding between his thighs, or when Harry was draped over him. It was familiar in those quiet, intense moments when Harry pleasured them both, when he got very close and just stared at Eggsy, completely uninterested in words. 

Eggsy watched him for a few moments, his own eyes grown dark with lust. He could almost hear the older man, groaning and trailing a line of kisses up his neck to his ear. Eggsy looked up and he _wanted_. He wanted Harry to writhe, just as much as he'd made Eggsy do so.

Eggsy's finger pressed forward again and his head dipped in earnest. He could feel Harry growing heavier and warmer on his tongue. The boy had to move forward a bit as blood rushed into Harry's cock and began to draw it up towards his stomach.

Harry gasped again, that time louder, and that time Eggsy felt him twitch. Harry moved. His hips shifted and Eggsy had to pull back a little before Harry's cock gagged him, but he managed. Harry turned and Eggsy only realised he was absolutely fully awake when he heard Harry's voice, gravelly with sleep. 

"Eggsy?" 

Harry went still. He didn't bury his hands in Eggsy's hair like Eggsy half thought he might. Harry didn't say anything else, almost like he thought this might not really be happening or he was still too sleep fogged to make sense of it. 

Eggsy was afraid to look up. He didn't know what he was going to see. If Harry wanted him to stop, he would have said so... wouldn't he?

So Eggsy wanted to think. After a moment's pause, Eggsy decided to keep going. This time he had to take care; Harry shifted up now that he was awake, perhaps not even consciously, and his thrusts almost overwhelmed Eggsy. Eggsy's tongue dipped between foreskin and glans again, and this time he was rewarded with a gasp that filled him with pride.

Harry's hands came up slowly to cup the back of his head, but they held there gently and didn't pull him away. 

"Eggsy," Harry whispered again and this time it wasn't a question. Eggsy's name sounded reverent on Harry's lips. "God you are beautiful," Harry breathed. Beautiful wasn't something Eggsy had ever been called before, but there was more in Harry's meaning than that and, strangely, Eggsy could hear it.  
Harry's hips canted up more carefully and Eggsy slid down again over what he could take, knowing Harry's eyes were fixed on him all the while. He could hear it in the steady fall of Harry's breath and the way his stomach rose and fell in equal measure. 

Eggsy blushed. He wanted to look up, but he couldn't. He knew Harry was watching him now. The cock on his tongue had stiffened even further, and Eggsy tried to keep up, although he had to pull back to keep from choking when Harry thrust upward and the tip reached the back of this throat. Bitterness coated his tongue again, but Eggsy had adjusted to the taste by then. He wasn't paying attention to that. His focus was on what made Harry harden and twitch, and what caused the sound of his breathing to change. Eggsy's palm turned and one knuckle pressed against Harry's perineum while he held the weight of him.

Eggsy nearly choked when he heard Harry groan and his throat tightened in excitement.  
He felt the muscles in Harry's legs tighten and he realised Harry had just restrained himself from jerking up into Eggsy's mouth. Harry's thighs spread for him after that, allowing him better access to that spot and also to fit himself between Harry's thighs. Harry could have trapped Eggsy there if he'd wanted to, just hook his legs around Eggsy and hold his head in place for Harry to thrust up into. The flash of that scenario reminded Eggsy of the dream, but even though Harry was slowly twining himself around Eggsy, he neither held him down or thrust too far into his mouth. Instead, Harry let Eggsy work at his own pace. 

And Eggsy did. He couldn't dip too far down before he felt like he was choking, and his jaw was starting to ache, but the boy kept going. Every time Harry tensed, Eggsy took it as encouragement. He felt the older man's hands cup the back of his head, but he didn't pull Eggsy down, and Eggsy didn't feel trapped.

After a number of minutes, his head bobbing at a regular pace, Eggsy turned his gaze upward and looked at Harry from beneath his lashes.

Their eyes met and Harry's mouth fell open. Then his teeth clenched together and Eggsy felt another trickle of precum on his tongue. Harry gave a sharp gasp and Eggsy felt him tremble. Something about the way Eggsy must have looked like that, looking up at Harry with Harry's cock in his mouth, straining but enjoying it, something about the determination in his eyes must have done it for Harry because Eggsy heard his name whispered from the man's lips again, so soft it was barely there. 

Harry let one of his hands fall to the base of his cock, just under Eggsy's chin, and _squeezed_. He gasped again, just barely preventing himself from rocking up into Eggsy that time, but Harry fought to keep his eyes open. When Eggsy's smaller hand fell over his own, Harry drew his away. A few more strokes and sucks like that, even if Eggsy didn't really know how to make a rhythm with his hand and his mouth together, Harry groaned. 

" _Egs--_ " Harry froze, and then Eggsy felt him come, hot liquid filling Eggsy's mouth. 

The boy nearly choked. He'd hardly gotten any warning, just the strain in Harry's voice and the feel of his cock hardening a bit further where it rested atop his tongue, and then everything was bitterness and salt. Eggsy swallowed on reflex, trying to clear his mouth so he could get another breath in, and nearly shuddered. Come was thicker than he was expecting, and the consistency made his skin prickle for some reason. Eggsy's own cock ached, a feeling that was echoing somewhere deep inside him.

Through it all, Harry never stopped watching. He was gasping, much louder than he'd been before, trying to catch his breath. Harry's grip had tightened on the back of Eggsy's neck, but now his hands ran through Eggsy's hair, soothing him, almost petting him, before Harry could speak again. 

" _Fuck_ ," Harry groaned. He dropped back onto the bed and pulled Eggsy up the length of his body, wrapping him in Harry's arms. Harry kissed him, long and sweet and it felt like a 'thank you'. Harry didn't seem to mind the taste. When they parted, Harry was looking at him like he'd done something rather extraordinary. "That was a _very_ nice good morning." 

Eggsy was dizzy, at that point, from the kiss and the way Harry was looking at him and the fading adrenaline. He hadn't really liked the end, mostly because cum had tasted much stranger than he'd guessed, but the effort had been worth it. He'd faced his fears, and Harry seemed just a bit less intimidating now that he'd seen portions of him up close, and now Harry was showering him with affection for his efforts. Eggsy blushed. "...could always return the favor?"

"Cheeky boy," Harry laughed. His voice was rich and warm and the sound of it rang clear through the room. Eggsy thought Harry looked completely open like this, relaxed, none of him left restrained or buttoned up like he'd once thought of Harry. His words weren't any different, Harry hadn't hidden the way he cursed just as much as he spoke properly from Eggsy, it was just that Eggsy's perception of him was different now. 

With a twist, Eggsy found himself flat on his back in the spot where Harry had been and Harry smirking down at him from above. "Do you think you can handle that much excitement this early in the morning, right before school?" Harry teased as he drew kisses down Eggsy's stomach, fingers already hooking into his waistband. 

Eggsy watched in wide-eyed fascination. Harry paused before tugging down on his pants, which prompted Eggsy into speech. "Y-yeah! Um... yeah, I can handle it. 'sides, you... you want me thinking about you at school all day?" When Harry glanced up, Eggsy grinned and shifted a little against the mattress. "I won't be able to concentrate. My grades might get ruined 'cause of me not payin' attention proper like."

"Oh dear, I suppose I can't have that, now can I?" Harry raised an eyebrow and schooled his features into mock seriousness. "I suppose my only option is to relieve you now and hope you regain your senses by the time you sit down for class." Harry bent his head and let the hint of a smile break through his falsely sober exterior. His tongue darted out to flick at the head of Eggsy's little erection while Harry's hands smoothed down his sides, slipping under his rear and squeezing. Harry never took his eyes off Eggsy though, and Eggsy got a flash of what he must have looked like earlier, looking up at Harry like that. Just before Harry came. 

Eggsy's breath caught. They hadn't been doing this for very long, but Eggsy had decided that he loved this: Harry's mouth on him, and the way he became the center of Harry's attention. Harry's tongue darted out again, and Eggsy tried to cant his hips upward only for Harry to hold him in place. The boy made a sound of frustration and bit at his lower lip. "H-harry... c'mon. I didn't tease you."

"Every time I look at you, Eggsy, you tease me," Harry murmured, letting his lip curl enough to show teeth. His tongue darted out again, swirling around Eggsy all the way from tip to base. "I think this is a satisfying revenge." 

Eggsy was just about to make a retort, but Harry saw it coming and wrapped his lips around the boy's cock, sucking just as Eggsy opened his mouth. Eggsy's gasp of surprise had Harry's soft brown eyes looking so satisfied he was almost tempting Eggsy to retaliate. 

Eggsy didn't mouth off. He didn't look away, either; progress was slow, but he was getting a bit less embarrassed of his body and what they'd begun to do together. Eggsy didn't know what to make of Harry's compliments, but he was more than happy that Harry found him attractive, and no longer quite as shy about watching Harry enjoy him.

Harry slid down for one stroke until he was back at the tip, opening his mouth and just teasing with breath and tongue, and Eggsy squirmed. "C-could... um. Could you do, you know, from the other day...?"

Harry stilled, but when his eyes darted back up to Eggsy, Eggsy could see that Harry's surprise was _very_ positive. "Absolutely." 

Harry leaned up for a kiss. He reached out and rifled through the night stand drawer and came away with the tube of gel before he shifted back down Eggsy's body. Harry kissed his hip and popped the cap. When Harry's fingers touched Eggsy again, the gel was already warmed. Harry went back to teasing licks over his cock, but just as Eggsy had asked, Harry let his hand slide underneath Eggsy, pressing into that sweet spot from the outside and sending hazy tingles of pleasure to merge with the sensation Harry's tongue was creating. 

The pressure still wasn't enough, but it was _good_. The idea of doing more with Harry was frightening, but Eggsy had done this once before, and after the initial discomfort he'd truly enjoyed it. Eggsy had lied a bit - regardless of what happened now, he'd be distracted at school later on - but that didn't really matter. Eggsy didn't think Harry would really mind.

Harry's fingers trailed lower, and Eggsy tensed. He couldn't help it. He remembered how strange it had felt before, having a finger worked into him.

Harry circled the spot with gel before he began to press in earnest, and just like before, just as he did so, he wrapped his mouth around Eggsy's cock to distract him from the slight burn of stretching muscle. It wasn't so bad with one finger, even if Harry's fingers were bigger than Eggsy's, they weren't very thick and the lube made the slide easy. A second later, Harry was inside and he wasted no time in rubbing against Eggsy's sweet spot. 

_That_ was what Eggsy remembered. More than how anxious he'd been, the boy remembered how it had felt afterwards, and how Harry had teased him until he was exhausted and his body ached for some time afterwards. Eggsy wouldn't have thought that having anything up there would feel good, despite how the books had suggested it, but he'd been _wrong_. Something about it amplified the sensation of Harry's mouth on him and looped back on itself.

Harry's finger pressed up with a bit more pressure and Eggsy whined and jerked his hips upwards.

Harry hummed in approval, and _that_ was certainly a new sensation as well. Harry could move with Eggsy when he jerked like that much better than Eggsy had been able to move with Harry. Harry just sucked harder and held on, keeping Eggsy in place after that with his free hand at Eggsy's thigh.  
Harry was so focused, working to build up a languid rhythm that stoked the want welling inside Eggsy since this had begun. 

Harry looked like he was enjoying himself, too. It was in the curve of his mouth and the time his hands and tongue spent working Eggsy over. The way Eggsy had felt powerful in those fleeting moments he had Harry under him, moaning and wanting more, wanting _him_ , that was what Harry must have been feeling then. Harry looked like he loved it. 

Eggsy closed his eyes and let himself feel. Like that, he could almost imagine that he was older, big enough to do something else. Big enough that instead of a finger, Harry would be leaning over him, hips thrusting forward in between his spread thighs. Harry would let him have a turn, too, Eggsy was sure of it.

Eggsy didn't know which fantasy excited him more. Harry's finger slid in and out again, and the feeling drew Eggsy back to the first one, pretending it was a cock instead. He wasn't frightened so long as it was a fantasy and he couldn't get hurt.

Harry did a wonderful job of encouraging that fantasy. Every stroke of his tongue and finger undid Eggsy just a little more. Harry nudged his legs apart, sliding the underwear all the way off before working one of Eggsy's legs over his shoulder, opening Eggsy up for him. That angle made the strokes inside him longer, even better and after Eggsy whined softly, Harry hummed and increased the pace. Nothing he did hurt. Harry was impossibly, meticulously aware of every motion he made, every sensation he gave to Eggsy. He worked in more lube when he needed to and varied the strokes of his finger not to strain the muscles around it. 

Harry's patience and focus was rewarded. Eggsy couldn't even think about being self-conscious. The boy was remarkably flexible, as children at his age tended to be; soon enough Harry had his other leg spread wide in counterpoint to the one he'd laid atop his shoulder. With Eggsy laid open like that, moving slightly against Harry's finger and mouth and with the boy's lips still reddened from when he'd pleasured Harry, he looked... wanton.

Harry's eyes locked on him and there was something in the man's face...something about the way his hair fell over his eyes and he never broke focus from what he was doing, that made Eggsy tremble. If Harry hadn't gotten off twice in so many hours, he looked like he was ready to go again. He never let up, never slowed down. There was a craving in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to see Eggsy fall apart. It was a look without mercy, just...desire. 

Eggsy shivered, looking down at him. His skin prickled and broke out into gooseflesh, and his hips bucked, but Harry had a firm grasp on him. Three more strokes and Eggsy let out a cry. Harry felt Eggsy's body clench around his finger and cock twitch in Harry's mouth. Eggsy arched just a bit, and then it was all over. Eggsy's leg slid off Harry's shoulder and he went limp against the bed, tired and sated and with a hint of a smile touching his lush little mouth.

After giving him one last lick, Harry gently pulled out. With a self satisfied curl to his lips, Harry crawled up the bed to lay next to Eggsy. Harry wrapped an arm around Eggsy's middle and it didn't seem he felt the need to say anything else. Harry looked just as lazy as Eggsy felt with the afterglow still settling into his bones. 

For a very long moment it seemed Harry might have even forgotten about school. Then Harry sighed and brushed his nose against Eggsy's before he gave him a chaste kiss. "You'd best hop in the shower or you're going to be late."

Eggsy groaned and rubbed his palms against his eyes. He knew he had to go to school, but that was his _last_ priority at the moment. Eggsy didn't want to move, and he didn't want Harry to move either. Point in fact, staying in bed for the remainder of the day sounded perfect. "You're gonna kill me. How can you even think after all that?"

Harry gave him a pointed look that brooked no argument, and Eggsy sighed. The boy's mouth settled into a pout. "Now I'm gonna be thinkin' all day, and I can't tell anyone nothin' if they ask me what I'm zonin' off about."

Harry cracked a smile. "I'm sure you'll think of something. Or they'll beat you and conclude you've found yourself a girl to admire." He scooted closer and nuzzled into Eggsy's cheek, holding him close while Harry could. In spite of his words and the way Harry could make his face so stern when he wanted to, that alone gave away how much he'd have liked to stay in bed as well. But Harry broke the embrace after a minute or two, glancing at the clock and then dragging himself to sit up. He raised cool brow at the way Eggsy groaned and burrowed down into the bed.

Eggsy finally pried himself away from the sheets. He groaned again once his feet touched the floor. He wanted Harry to know just how much he objected to having to get up and go to school. "If they guess it's a girl, I'm gonna have to make some stuff up, and it's going to be _so obnoxious_. They're gonna want to know who, and there's gonna be rumors all over the place." 

Eggsy grimaced. He stretched and his spine made a popping sound. "I mean, that's better than them guessing, but you don't know what it's like. _Everyone_ gets on your case, and they won't leave you alone. They wanna know _everything_."

Harry sighed and stretched before he rose to find his robe, bending to kiss Eggsy's temple on the way. "Then I suggest you do everything you can to dissuade them of that notion before it begins, hm? Truly, Eggsy, people can be very oblivious if you give them very few reasons to be." Harry shrugged the robe over his shoulders and tied it at the waist. He stepped into his slippers and glanced at himself in the mirror with a grimace. Harry didn't like going for very long in the mornings without his shower either. 

"I dunno what I'm supposed to tell them, though. If I'm actin' funny, they're gonna assume it's a girl, or that I'm a baby who can't handle a little trouble at home." Eggsy walked off without pausing for Harry's reply. He grabbed an outfit at random from his dressers and carried it into the bathroom. Seconds later, he had the shower running.

He might regret the lack of a real breakfast later, but right now, trading it for more time with Harry seemed well worth it. Eggsy still felt a warm buzz of happiness from earlier, and he knew the memory would keep him company throughout the day.

When he was finished and dressed for the day, he came downstairs to find Harry still in his robe, hovering over a plate of toast and jam with his hair all a mess. He glanced up to Eggsy with that warm look in his eyes. Harry set the plate down on the table with a glass of juice and motioned Eggsy to sit with him. 

"You've still got a couple minutes." Less than ten, if the clock was to be believed. Just enough to have a quick breakfast. 

Eggsy practically inhaled everything that was on the plate. Toast and juice alike vanished rapidly, but Eggsy looked at Harry far more than what was on his plate. Something about seeing Harry like that, lacking all formality, stripped of his tailored wardrobe and completely dishevelled, struck Eggsy as hilarious. The boy couldn't keep a straight face, and when Harry raised an eyebrow at him, Eggsy nearly choked from laughing. "You better clean up 'fore you go to work, or I'm not the only one's gonna have rumors and nosy people."

"Indeed." Harry narrowed his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, merely completing the picture. "I'll just have to keep my poker face on, won't I?" Eggsy felt the warmth behind Harry's words. They were as much advice as they were an admission that he'd have the same problem getting through the day as Eggsy would. 

They heard a rumble of an engine outside and Harry glanced up at the window with a sigh. "That'll be the bus. Hurry and get your things." 

Harry rose and went to open the door so the driver, waiting at the end of their little mew, wouldn't drive off. 

Eggsy snatched up his backpack and raced for the door. There was a moment of hesitation, when he looked up as he ducked under Harry's arm. Eggsy wanted to kiss him goodbye, but with the door open like that, they'd be seen. A glint of sorrow filled the boy's eyes as he remembered that he couldn't express anything in public.

Eggsy ducked his head and ran down the walk for the bus. His small figure disappeared into the doors.

Harry waited for it to roll away before he shut the door and drained his coffee. He gave a long sigh, wanting nothing more than to go back to bed. 

It was true though, he did have to go in to work. And then later tonight he'd have to inform Eggsy of his trip abroad. And everything that entailed. On a certain level, Harry knew this was coming. He'd have to get someone to watch Eggsy while he was away for days at a time and Harry was...more comfortable with it being Merlin than some nosey care worker. Saying Merlin had his faults would be an egregious understatement, but Merlin knew how to act and Merlin already _knew_ , and Harry did not like trusting more people than he needed to. 

So with that, Harry went to take a shower and clean himself up for the day. It was time to put in real work whether he'd stayed up late on personal business or not. 

When Eggsy slipped through the front door that afternoon, he was exhausted. Harry had given him a key to get in and out, for when he was busy at work. There was no one at home to greet him but Mr. Pickle, who danced excitedly across the hardwood floor. Eggsy dropped his backpack and hooked the dog up on the leash. Taking care of the dog was one of his chores, but Eggsy didn't really mind. Not unless he had to take Mr. Pickle out into a bad rainstorm.

When they returned from their walk around the block, Harry still wasn't back yet. Eggsy unhooked Mr. Pickle and let him run free. The boy dragged his backpack up onto the sofa and started trying to slog through his homework. He knew Harry would ask, and the sooner he got everything done, they sooner they could spend time together.

It was another half hour before Eggsy heard footsteps coming up the walk and a key in the door. Mr. Pickle's head rose from the floor by his feet and a second later the dog was skittering across the room and down the hall to greet Harry. Harry, who gave a polite 'hello' to the dog and made sounds of removing his jacket and wiping his shoes before the footsteps preceded Mr. Pickle's toward the living room. 

When Harry emerged from around the corner he had a smile on his face for Eggsy and he looked immaculate again, jacket held over one arm, hair neatly arranged, glasses in place, and tie perfectly straight. Harry only paused for a moment before he came over to place a kiss upon Eggsy's cheek. "Hope your day was well. What would you like for dinner?" 

"Could we have chicken tikka masala?" Eggsy shoved his homework aside. He didn't care about Harry's neat clothes. The pressed fabric was going to get wrinkled anyways once he was done. The boy got to his feet and got started on the process, wrapping his arms around Harry and burying his face against Harry's chest.

The dish was more significant than Harry knew. Michelle had gotten it for takeout whenever she'd had money to spare and wanted them to have a special night. Chicken tikka masala, in Eggsy's mind, was associated with home and comfort and happier times. Eggsy still felt sad about what his mother was struggling with, and he missed her, but living with Harry was _starting_ to feel like home and not an extended vacation.

Harry laughed and rocked back on his feet like Eggsy had any chance of knocking him over before he ruffled the boy's hair. "Alright. Missed me, huh?" Harry draped his jacket over a chair before he brought Eggsy to the kitchen and set to work. Harry was a surprisingly good cook. Eggsy had always thought posh people would probably be rubbish at it, used to having dinner made for them all the time, but Harry laid that notion to rest. 

Harry was just heating up the burners when the phone on the wall rang. Eggsy could guess who it was. Very few people called Harry in the time Eggsy had been there. With a sigh, Harry lowered the heat and moved to pick up the phone. 

"Hello? Ah, yes." Sure enough, Harry motioned for Eggsy to take the receiver so he could get back to the stove. 

Eggsy took the phone with some hesitation. Hearing from his mother through Susan wasn't exactly uplifting. His aunt didn't like him any more than he did her, and Susan had not had any good news thus far. Eggsy touched the receiver to his ear. "...hi Aunt Sue. How's it going? Have you heard anything more from mum about stuff?"

Eggsy knew he sounded about as thrilled as he felt, but the voice on the other end wasn't exactly cheery either. 

"A bit. She says they've had a preliminary hearing and it looks good in her favour. She could get fined for the tax evasion, but the people who've been investigating her involvement with Dean are still coming up with no hard evidence. Her lawyer says he's going to ask that you be placed back with her after the first hearing, but he doesn't think the judge is going to agree until it's over. You still doing ok at Mr. Hart's place?"

"Yeah, I'm doing great. I got my own bedroom and I got to pick out some new clothes for school, and I don't have to walk so far to the bus." Eggsy walked to one of the kitchen chairs and sat down. Soon enough his legs were kicking idly. He just wanted the conversation to be over already. "Harry's pretty good at cooking, too. He's let me try all sorts of new stuff, and I get to pick out what we have for dinner, usually."

"That's nice of him," Susan said. "Michelle wanted me to let you know...if this investigation takes months, and her lawyer's saying it probably will, then she's going to ask to at least set up a couple visits with you. Even if Rhonda has to supervise as your care worker. Rhonda's agreed to, and she thinks that would be a good idea, but that'll be up to the judge, too." 

"Oh." Eggsy blinked and looked over at Harry. He _did_ want to see his mother... but he didn't want Rhonda there watching them both. Or for Michelle to be mean to Harry. Part of him worried that, even though he was doing a good job at hiding their relationship when they were out in public, that somehow Michelle would _know_. Her hunches weren't always right, but she was pretty nosy, as mothers tended to be, and she already didn't like Harry. "Do you know when? She's going to visit, I mean. I know we don't know how long the investigation's gonna be."

"No idea. She has to get approval first, but they're hopeful she'll at least be able to see you. If they say yes, it'll probably be in a week or two, earliest." 

Harry, in the middle of slicing chicken, caught Eggsy's look of uncertainty across the room. He didn't look disturbed, even though he'd definitely heard Eggsy say the word 'visit'. He just kept slicing and then tossed the chicken into the pan. 

"Still keeping up with your school work? Haven't been missing any days or anything like that?" Susan asked and this was the part where she was getting ready to say goodbye, Eggsy could tell. 

"Yeah, school's been fine. The bus doesn't take too long, and I got given a bit of extra time to get late work in, from the days I missed and switchin' schools and all that. It's been fine, honest. Still boring," Eggsy added. "Tell mum not to worry, my grades are just fine. Better'n fine. I got the top score on the last quiz in maths. Harry's been helping me study a bit."

"Oh that's good. I'll let her know. And I think that's everything, so I'll let you go now. I'll give you a call back soon, okay?" 

Eggsy gave her the affirmative and they said a quick goodbye before he went to hang up the phone again. When he turned around, Harry's eyes were on him. 

"Is she holding up alright?" Harry asked, stirring the sauce and leaning against the counter top. 

"Yeah, and the investigation's going well against all of Dean's stuff, which I figured, but Aunt Sue says it's gonna take months before stuff gets resolved and she gets to ask to get me back. So until then, she wants to come visit a few times." Eggsy paused. The phone scooted across the tabletop, pushed back and forth between his hands like a hockey puck. "I... do you think she'd know? If she visited, I mean?"

"No." Harry said it with such certainty that Eggsy was surprised. Harry didn't move from his spot at the counter. He didn't even look a little bit uncertain. "People can't read minds, Eggsy. The only way she'll suspect something is if we give her a reason to. You don't need to put on some sort of act and make up a story when you see her again. You can tell her as much as you'd like to about being here. All you have to do is leave that one part out." Harry turned back to stir the sauce and check the rice. He lowered the heat on the chicken and took two plates out of the cupboard. 

"You really think so?" Eggsy watched Harry bustle around the kitchen. Staying across the room was eventually too much. Eggsy slid off of the chair and wandered over, staying just far back enough that he wouldn't get in the way. "Mum always seemed to know about stuff before. Not everything, but like... if I snuck into the kitchen, she didn't even have to hear or see me, she'd just yell. Or she'd know I went into her room and peeked at my Christmas present in the closet. Or when I skivved off school for a day."

Harry's mouth turned up at the corners. "That means she did hear you, and saw something you moved, or you looked particularly guilty after. The more we think someone has the power to 'just know' what we've done, the more we give away. So mothers seem particularly good at worming these things out of us." Harry finished dishing up their plates and gave Eggsy his to take back to the table. 

"Think of your mind as a locked box," Harry instructed as they sat down. "Someone can stare you in the eye, try to look into your mind, but all they'll see is that locked box. Your face can be a mask that no one can see through. Imagining this helps control your facial expressions, even unconscious ones."

"What if I screw up, though?" Eggsy didn't think he was _that_ bad at lying. He'd successfully shifted his mother away from suspecting that he shoplifted, for one. He'd also managed to hide just how often he'd snuck out of his bedroom window, and until he and Harry had told her about their friendship, she hadn't known a thing about it. One slip would be all it would take, though - for his life to be ruined, _and_ Harry's. "Is there something else I can tell her, if she gets all suspicious? Do you think lying about a girl at school would do it? I mean... I don't really _want_ to lie, but I don't want her to figure stuff out either."

Harry shook his head. "If she get suspicious about anything, it will be how close we've gotten or why I took you in in the first place. She isn't going to see you smiling fondly at me and assume you might be falling for some girl at school even if you try to convince her." Harry grew a little more sombre as he stirred rice into the masala on his plate. "This is a little more complex than playing truant or stealing. Our closeness can be attributed to your father and she cannot deny that. I also get the feeling you've not had many decent men in your life before. She cannot prove anything more unless we give it to her."

Eggsy looked a little crestfallen at that. He picked up his fork and began poking at the chicken in front of him. "Yeah, I... it's just been me and my mum. And her boyfriends. I've not ever really liked any of them, although I think Dean's the worst she's ever picked, by a lot. You were so different that I liked you even before I started to _like_ you. Aside from that whole posh bit."

Harry glanced at him and Eggsy grinned. "What? I'm still allowed to tease you about that. Can't say I'd ever pictured my first boyfriend'd own his own _house_."

Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes, but Eggsy could see him hiding a smile. "Don't forget cooking for you, too. Perhaps I should get a 'World's Greatest Boyfriend' apron and then see if your mother catches on. What do you think?" Eggsy snorted into his rice and Harry's smile cracked. "It'll be okay, Eggsy. Really, it will." Harry nudged Eggsy's foot underneath the table and held his eyes. There was a certainty in Harry that Eggsy rarely saw in anyone else, like Harry could move mountains if he wanted to. 

Eggsy had no reason to doubt him. Harry had always kept his promises and come through for him. Even when things got frightening and uncertain, like the day at the custody hearing when Eggsy hadn't really felt completely confident that things would turn out alright.

Things were more than alright, they were _great_. Eggsy scooped up a bit of masala on his fork, tried it, and closed his eyes. It tasted better than he remembered. It tasted like victory and home. "Y'know, maybe you don't wear it around my mum, but maybe you should get that apron. You're spoiling me a lot more than I've gotten from anyone else."

Harry raised a brow. "Perhaps I should get one that fits you instead and make you help me in the kitchen with it. With nothing underneath." He kept his face perfectly placid as he said it, even going so far to redirect his attention to his spoon and run his tongue up the side of it to lick off all the sauce. He didn't even look at Eggsy. Harry was so good at that when he wanted to be, just slipped into little provocative movements that caught Eggsy's eye in a manner they shouldn't, but were certainly designed to. 

Eggsy stared at him with wide eyes and more than a bit of shock. Watching Harry lick the spoon sent a visible shiver through the boy. "You're taking the piss. Aren't you? Nobody really does that." The more Eggsy considered it, the redder his cheeks became. "...'sides, I seem to remember someone burnin' food 'cause I distracted them too much, and you can't tell me you're not gonna char everythin' to cinders if I've got nothin' but an apron on."

"I rather think it'd be worth it." Harry was completely unfazed, but he cracked a smile at Eggsy and dug into the rest of his chicken. 

They ate with more banter tossed back and forth between them, every so often emphasized with a nudge under the table or a wink. When it came time to clean up their plates, Harry returned from the kitchen only to catch Eggsy around the waist and lift him into his arms with a growl and a nipping kiss to his earlobe. Harry brought Eggsy, kicking and play fighting, back to the living room and dropped him down onto the sofa. Harry paused only to remove his tie before he dropped down next to Eggsy. 

The boy couldn't have had a wider smile on his face. Having time with Harry had proven far more effective motivation to do his homework than any number of years of nagging. So long as he got his work done early, he got _this_.

Eggsy didn't wait to see what Harry intended. The moment the older man was seated, Eggsy turned.  
Harry only had time to blink before Eggsy was astride his lap. Eggsy looked down and then back up, raising his brows and pretending to be surprised. "Missed me too, huh. You'll be happy to know nobody caught me slackin' off at school. Even got full marks on my quiz, even though I wasn't thinkin' about history just then."

Harry's smile widened. He looked quite pleasantly surprised, but overcame it quickly. "And just what _were_ you thinking about?" He placed his hands on Eggsy's hips and drew him closer, pressing Eggsy against him to give Eggsy a bit of that delightful sensation as well. "Certainly not _me_? Have I become the inspiration for your good marks? Perhaps we _should_ tell your mother." Harry leaned back into the couch and made himself comfortable. 

Eggsy tucked his chin against his chest. "...I like spendin' time with you, is all," he explained, stuck halfway between a surge of bashfulness and a desire to stand his ground and tease Harry back. "Which I get to do more if everythin's all done. You give better rewards, too. Little smilin' faces on my homework and gettin' told I did good is fine and all, but..."

The boy leaned forward until he was settled against Harry's chest. "I just like other things better. And yeah, class is a bit less borin' if I've got you to think about."

Eggsy felt Harry's fingers sweep over the back of his head. "That is very good to hear." Harry relaxed underneath him, let his arms loop around Eggsy's middle and rest there, and Eggsy could tell Harry felt just as good as he did merely resting with such closeness. That was one interesting thing about Harry--he always liked having Eggsy close. The only times Harry had ever seemed distant were the periods he spent working upstairs in his office, and that was never for very long. 

When Harry sighed, it was with a note of disappointment. "I do have some regrettable news for the end of the week though," Harry admitted. "I'm going to have to take a business trip early Thursday morning. I should be back before midday Saturday, but I'd rather not leave you in the house all by yourself until then."

Harry felt Eggsy stiffen. Eggsy's mind raced, trying to figure out what Harry might mean. "...wait, so... does that...? I mean, it sounds like you're not taking me with you. Does that mean you're... dropping me off somewhere, or that you're having someone come over? You don't have to, y'know. I know how to make toasted cheese sandwiches and stuff. Mum left me by myself all the time. Not for a couple of days, but sometimes I didn't really see her at all 'cause she was sleeping or at work, whenever I was awake and home."

"I believe you. I'm not going to send you anywhere else or make a fuss over you being monitored at all hours of the day, and you can make cheese sandwiches if you really want to. I'm just going to have a friend stop by and look after the house. With you in it," Harry added, knowing Eggsy would see right through that ruse. Eggsy was looking up at him with wide eyes now and Harry attempted a small smile. 

"But... um." Eggsy knew that there was nothing much to be said to that. Harry didn't want to leave him alone, even though Eggsy was perfectly able to take care of himself. "I can watch the house. And Mr. Pickle. I won't forget to let him out, and I won't miss the bus to school, I promise. I just... don't know your friend. Is he gonna think it's weird I'm living with you?"

Harry's smile turned a little more genuine at that. "No, you shouldn't have to worry about that. He already knows all about you living with me and he's very tolerant, not the kind of person to jump to conclusions. He's the finance director of the business actually, someone I've worked with and known for years." Harry gave a small sigh. "I know you'd probably be just fine on your own, but...I'd hate to leave you like that, especially in a house you're only just becoming familiar with."

"He's not gonna be around a lot, is he?" Right after the words left his mouth, Eggsy reconsidered. "I... I didn't mean that I don't want to meet your friend. If he's a real friend, not like one of those things where you say the people you work with are friends. I just... I'm used to bein' on my own, and it'd be weird having a stranger in the house with you not here. I don't even know him, and you're gonna just leave me with someone I don't know for a few days? What if I don't like him? Or he doesn't like me?"

"Eggsy, you are not that unlikable," Harry chided, "And I have a feeling he's going to be up in the office working most of the time he's here. This house is big enough that if you really don't want to see him, you won't have to, and that's fine. It's mainly just in the event of an emergency you won't be left on your own." Harry brushed Eggsy's hair back with his thumb and Eggsy could see he wasn't going to be emotionally persuaded.

Eggsy wasn't happy with that. He looked back at Harry, distraught even though Harry was touching him. "Emergency? But... I don't want you to go. Can't you just... have someone else show people fabric and measure them? Do you really have to go yourself?" Something about Harry going overseas was distressing. Maybe it was because of how long it was. Or maybe it was because, on some subliminal level, Eggsy associated being overseas with death. Harry had come back before, but the idea that he might not was terrifying.

Harry's brow furrowed. "Eggsy...." He brought his hands to the sides of Eggsy's face and Eggsy knew his fears must have been showing. Harry stared into him for a long moment. "What's the matter? You know I'm not going to leave you. I know a lot of people have failed you very recently, but I'm not. I wish I didn't have to, but it's a very common part of my work." Harry's fingers traced the edges of Eggsy's earlobe, caressing down the back of his neck and then back up to do it again. There was worry in Harry's eyes. 

Eggsy didn't want to voice his fears. With a child's irrationality, he worried that voicing them just made it more likely that they'd come true. "I don't want you to go," he whispered. The boy tucked himself as closely as he could get, not letting Harry draw him back out so that the man could stare him in the eye. "What if you don't come back?"

Harry paused. There was a stretch of silence between them that Eggsy felt to his core. Then Harry's arms wrapped around him. 

"I will come back," Harry said into the top of Eggsy's head, muffled. Harry knew about Lee. He'd have put Eggsy's fears together. "I promise you I will come back." Harry kissed Eggsy's hair, stroked his back, held him against Harry's chest like he could hide there. Eggsy could feel Harry's heart beating against his cheek. It might have even quickened a little. It was strong and Harry was so confident, but Lee had been the same. 

Eggsy didn't know what to make of promises. His father was supposed to come back, but then he didn't.  
His mother was supposed to be trusted with anything and always there, but that hadn't been true either. Family was supposed to always help, but his aunt had wanted to get rid of him. None of the adults in Eggsy's life had really come through for him except for Harry, and Eggsy was terrified of losing him. "I don't want you to go," Eggsy whispered miserably, his voice muffled against Harry's shirtfront. The boy's hands clung as if he could hold him there through sheer force of will.

He could feel Harry move to peer at him, what he could see of Eggsy. "I have to go. And you will have to see that it's okay for me to go. There will be other trips after this, but I'll come back. Every time, I will come back." Harry's chest rose like he was breathing in Eggsy's scent, or Eggsy's display of emotion had gotten to him. "I don't want to do this to you," Harry admitted, quieter, "not when being here is still so new." For once it didn't sound like Harry had the perfect words. 

"...can I have something? For the promise. So you have to come back and get it from me." To Eggsy, that was the only additional security he could think of. If people didn't come back just because they loved other people, maybe they would come back if they had something they had to do. Like getting an item back. It would be a good luck charm, and something for him to hold onto. "And you'll have to promise you'll come back and ask me for it. When you get home."

"You could have my ID card," Harry mumbled, "but I might need that." Eggsy glanced up at him, unamused. His face was still buried against Harry's chest, but Harry caught his eye. "What could I give you, Eggsy? You can hold Mr. Pickle hostage if you like. Even charge a hefty ransom upon my return." Harry cracked a smile, but it didn't win Eggsy's favour that easily. 

"No, something from _you_. Don't you have something special to you?" Eggsy asked. His mind was on his own box of treasures, things he'd collected and hoarded beneath his bed, bringing it out to enjoy and turn over in his hands whenever he got a quiet moment to himself. "Don't you have anything? A ring, or... I dunno. _Something_. I'll hold onto Mr. Pickle for you anyways, but he doesn't count."

Harry had to think about that for a long moment. He kept lots of little things, paintings and trinkets he picked up here and there, mementos in magazine covers and meaningless baubles from the places he'd nearly died or wanted to remember. All of them meant something, he enjoyed looking at them, but none were he particularly attached to. What Harry was attached to were the things that saved his life. 

After a moment's more thought, Harry lifted his wrist and undid the link to his watch. The gold chain dangled, heavy in his palm before he held it out to Eggsy. "This might do. This watch has been with me for a good many years now, has seen me through thick and thin, and I'd very much like to have it back when I return."

Eggsy took it and cradled it in his hands. The watch was heavier than he was expecting. When the boy's hands closed around it, a determined look came over his face. "Ok. I'll just keep it until you get back. But you have to come back and ask for it, ok?"

Some part of Eggsy knew that keeping a token didn't guarantee safety. His mother's wedding ring hadn't ensured that his father came home, after all. But logic wasn't important in this. Just having something personal of Harry's made Eggsy feel a little bit better.

One corner of Harry's mouth pulled into a smile. "Ok." His eyes lingered on the watch. "Just...handle it very carefully, and _do not_ try to reset the time." Harry looked very stern on that point, so Eggsy nodded. It looked expensive, but perhaps it was worth even more than Eggsy thought. Harry relaxed a little, sinking back against the couch and watching Eggsy study his prize. A bit of that warmth was back in Harry's eyes, and a little less of that worry.

Eggsy took his charge very seriously. After a study of the winding mechanism at the side and guessing what might reset the time, he carefully tucked it in his pocket. "Don't worry, Harry. It'll be safe with me, I promise. Just come back to get it, ok? Or I'm keeping it, and there's nothing you can do about it." Eggsy tried to sound tough, but all Harry heard was a worried little kid. One who was scared he was going to lose another person he loved and depended on.

Harry leaned in to give Eggsy a kiss on the cheek, rubbing his nose there fondly. "I will." 

Eggsy looked only a little more mollified at that, so Harry lifted him and turned on the couch, drawing his legs up to spread himself out and pull Eggsy down next to him. 

"Now, what do you say we find a film, hm? What do you feel like tonight, classic? Adventure?" Harry picked up the guide and opened it for Eggsy to see. He was trying to cheer Eggsy up, that was obvious, but Harry's warm arms and the solid line of him against Eggsy's back was still a comforting presence. 

"Adventure, definitely. Something a little scary." Eggsy looked down at the guide, but he leaned back against Harry as he did so. If Harry was going to be gone for several days, Eggsy wanted to make every second count.

After skimming through what was available, the boy settled on an Indiana Jones film. He'd seen it before, but that didn't diminish how enjoyable it was. Eggsy thought that Indiana's life was enviable: traveling to exotic places, fighting bad people in exciting shootouts, and always getting the treasure at the end. And the girl.

"Ah, an adventure _classic_ ," Harry mused and flipped to the right station. He wrapped His arms under Eggsy's and found the opportunity to press his mouth to the back of the boy's neck, just between the fine hairs and the collar of his shirt, far too tempting. 

Harry laughed softly when Eggsy's shoulders rose at the ticklish sensation before they settled in for the film to begin.


	12. Chapter 12

The morning of Harry's departure, Eggsy dragged his feet. He tried to make everything last as long as possible, from getting out of bed, to his shower and breakfast, and nearly missed his bus from not wanting to set foot outside the front door. Harry would have felt his patience sorely tested had he not understood why Eggsy was so reluctant to leave. After one long, last kiss behind the safety and privacy of closed doors, Eggsy left with a sorrowful look, his hand clenched around the watch tucked safely into his hoodie.

Harry had given him a short list of instructions in his absence. Make sure to walk Mr. Pickle, get his homework done, try not to be too unsociable to his new guest, and call Harry if he needed to. Even if Harry wouldn't always be able to pick up. 

Eggsy'd had some time to get used to the idea of having someone who was not Harry in the house with him by then, but he still definitely had not gotten used to it. Sean Landon, Harry had said the man's name was and he made sure Eggsy had Landon's number programmed into his phone, but Eggsy still didn't know what to expect when he got off the bus that afternoon and made his way down to Harry's door. 

He'd certainly not expected silence. Harry had told Eggsy that they wouldn't be constantly interacting, but the boy thought that he'd at least be greeted at the door. Not so. Eggsy dropped his backpack in the den and wandered the house after relocking the front door, but every room he looked in was empty.

Until he wandered up to Harry's office, the strange room with gossip papers pinned to the wall in lieu of wallpaper. An oddly sharp-featured man with a completely shaved head and a sweater that wouldn't have been amiss on some university adjunct was seated in Harry's chair tapping away at a laptop. He glanced up as Eggsy paused at the threshold.

Eggsy froze. He was tempted to make a hasty retreat back down the stairs, even if the man had already seen him. He felt trapped under the man's gaze as he stood there in silence. Eggsy bit his lip. He'd known this was a bad idea, and hopes of being welcomed by someone as open and approachable as Harry were swiftly fading. Eggsy readied his feet to step back, take him back down to the living room and leave it at that, but the few manners his mother had instilled in him prevented him from doing so. And Harry. Harry would be disappointed if Eggsy didn't at least try to be polite to his friend. 

So Eggsy held his ground, just for a minute more, and tried to think of something to say. "Uhm, hey." 

"Hello. You must be Eggsy Unwin, unless this is a very badly planned attempt at trespassing." The man behind the desk shut the laptop with a click. He stood, and despite the fact that the stranger was of a height with Harry, something about him seemed intimidating. Much of it was likely to do with the fact that Harry possessed a warm and open face. Mr. Landon was as unreadable as stone.

The man walked closer, and before Eggsy could retreat, he crouched down unexpectedly. Pale eyes looked back at him, but the man crooked a dry smile and held out a hand. "Sean Landon. I've had to mind youngsters before, but I have to say, they've never been quite so young as you."

Eggsy reached out to shake hands, a gesture he was not accustomed to, but didn't think he could refuse. "Yeah? Harry told me you weren't used to bein' around kids." Eggsy didn't mean for that to sound judgmental, but it kind of did and he flushed trying to think of something he could add to smooth it over. He came up with very little, so he did what he did whenever he'd accidentally let his mouth run too far with his mates. He quickly moved on. "You know him from work?"

"Yes. Occasionally I have to wrangle younger people. Fittings, at the shop, or keeping them busy while others are involved with clients. Sometimes teaching. Usually they're not children, however, but close to their early twenties." Landon gave Eggsy another smile, but something about it felt off. Eggsy couldn't pinpoint what, exactly. Or maybe he was just uneasy from Harry's absense and how unknown this man was. "You'll have to go easy on me, as I'll be learning."

"Oh..." Eggsy didn't know what to say to that. He shrugged, trying to feel a little less out of his depth. "S'okay. You don't have to treat me like a kid or nothin'. I could'a probably taken care of myself y'know, since it's just a coupl'a days, but Harry was worried." Belatedly, again, he thought about how that might have sounded a little more standoffish than he'd intended. But he didn't need Harry's friend thinking he was helpless. Even if Landon didn't look like the coddling type, regardless. Eggsy fidgeted under the man's stare, found himself unconsciously shifting from foot to foot, legs eager to get back downstairs.

Something about the boy's unease only drew Landon's eyes more. He gave Eggsy a flicker of a smile. "I'm sure you can. Harry _had_ told me a bit about you. However, he also told me he didn't want you surviving off of junk food, flapjacks, and cheese sandwiches. I'll be cooking, but other than that, I'll be doing work in here. I'm not here to entertain, and while I'll be checking up on you now and then, if you need something, you'll have to come and fetch me."

"Okay yeah." Eggsy found himself nodding, very ready to leave. "I'll uh, I'll leave you to it then." He backed up, the man's eyes still upon him, unwavering. In fact the man didn't move a single muscle as Eggsy backed into the hall and turned, eager feet taking him back down the stairs at a much quicker pace than when he'd arrived. 

He didn't know what it was that made him uneasy. Apart from not knowing this Sean Landon and the man's stare feeling rather...icy. Eggsy resolved to stay downstairs for as long as possible. Or as long as Landon was up in the office. He didn't know if the man was going home for the night or sleeping on the couch, but...eventually Eggsy would have to go back up there and use the toilet and pretend he was used to sleeping in his own room. 

The house was much quieter with Harry gone. It was only now that he was absent that Eggsy noticed just how much Harry stayed near him. The older man still gave Eggsy privacy, but he was never all that far away, and if they weren't doing something together, then Harry would at least stop by every now and then to see what Eggsy was up to.

Landon was silent. The first sign that reminded him that someone else was in the house was when the floorboards creaked a few hours later and Landon came down the stairs and headed for the kitchen.

Eggsy tracked the man over the top of his Game Boy until he disappeared behind the wall again. The sound of the refrigerator being opened came next. 

Eggsy had almost forgotten about dinner. Or at least that Landon had said he was going to make it. Eggsy had been thinking about finding a snack for a while, but wasn't motivated enough to get up and look. Now, he wanted to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible, especially when a dull sense of worry began to coil in his stomach at having to sit down to dinner with this man. 

Sounds of chopping and cooking could be heard. Normally, that might have been comforting, but that wasn't Harry in there. Eventually there was the sound of oil sizzling in a pan.

And then, surprisingly, the air began to fill with a mouthwatering aroma. Eggsy recognized it right away. It was the same smell that accompanied the large, grease-stained paper bags his mother occasionally got on a treat night. Hamburgers, and chips, and melted cheese. 

His brows furrowed and he set down the game, unable to help glancing at the kitchen like he could see through the wall. Eggsy had never known someone to make cheeseburgers outside of a grill up. And it smelled really, _really_ good. 

Tentatively, Eggsy pushed aside the books he'd gotten out for homework and slipped off the couch. He drew up to the doorway, but then decided on a better idea, crouching low and treading with careful steps into the hall. He pressed himself against the next wall so he could see into the dining room and only just part of the kitchen beyond, but nothing more. Eggsy was going to have to get a little more daring if he wanted to take a look. With a deep breath, he crouched again and slipped into the dining room, keeping along the wall for a second before he realized the table would provide better cover. He just wanted to see.... Even if the low partition between the dining room and kitchen blocked most of his view, he caught a glimpse of the tall man standing over the stove. 

It was the same man he'd met earlier. He still had an intimidating set to his shoulders, but his sleeves were rolled up out of the way. A couple of patties were sizzling away on a flat pan. Another pan must have held the onions that were adding a savory quality to the air. On the other side, Eggsy could just barely make out one of Harry's larger pots with some kind of mesh sitting across the top.

Landon turned and moved to one of the cupboards, glancing through the doorway, but he didn't seem to see Eggsy. Not yet.

A little flare of pride lit in Eggsy's chest at that. He'd always thought he was good at this, sneaking around and not getting caught, even if he was nervous now. 

He waited for Landon to turn back around before Eggsy poked his head out the other side of the table to follow the man's progress. An even better position might have been crouched under the partition, but Landon might see him if he stood too close and looked over. Also Eggsy wouldn't be able to see much. He decided to stay where he was until the burgers were almost ready. Then Eggsy could sneak out and pretend like he'd never been there all along. He didn't know what he was hoping to gain from this...except just to watch the man. Like Landon would really do something interesting, Eggsy mentally chided himself. 

Nothing was too out of the ordinary, except where the bacon and cheese smells were coming from. Eggsy craned his neck, but he couldn't see anything more than two pans and one pot, which ended up being for the chips. The screen was some kind of spatter protectant; Landon scooped a bunch of cut potatoes into a mesh basket, dropped it in, and quickly put the mesh top back on before the pot could spit out flecks of hot oil. 

After only a short time, Landon was pulling the hamburgers off the pan that had served as a grill and assembling everything onto plates.

That was Eggsy's signal to get out of there. 

On nimble hands and feet, he crawled back to the end of the table, peeked out and made sure Landon had his back turned again, and then slipped as fast and as silently as he could back into the hall. He all but tiptoed back to the couch and picked up one of his notebooks, opening it to the page he'd been writing in maths problems and pretended to be working. 

It took Landon two trips to carry everything out to the dining room table: once for the plates, and one more for glass bottles of cola. When the man came looking for him, wiping off his hands on a white dishtowel, he found Eggsy hunched over his homework and affecting a studious air. It might have been convincing had the boy not been breathing more rapidly than maths warranted.

"Dinner is ready. I made an educated guess that you'd enjoy hamburgers, since most boys seem to."

Eggsy looked up, but he didn't know what to say to that. He was starving now after waiting so long with grilled beef and cheese permeating the air. 

"Good guess." Eggsy got up and, not taking his eyes off Landon, followed the man back into the dining room. Eggsy's eyes widened when he saw the burgers. They were _big_. There was a lot of food. Eggsy took his usual chair and almost reached for a plate before he hesitated, not sure if he should wait like his mum always told him to when sitting at someone else's table or it'd be rude. But after Landon glanced his way and didn't seem particularly offended, Eggsy figured it was ok and went for a burger and a bun. He had to hold it with two hands and when he took a bite, he was surprised to find just as much cheese and bacon melting on his tongue. "Whoa." Eggsy almost moaned. 

"Careful when you get close to the middle." Landon was sampling one of the chips. After a bite, he seemed pleased with how they'd turned out. "I've only done these a couple of times before, but the middle tends to stay hot for longer, and you can end up burning your tongue if you eat too quickly."

Eggsy tried another bite, and something about the look on his face made Landon quirk a smile again. The man seemed amused by Eggsy's enthusiastic response. "Does this mean I'm forgiven for intruding on the house, or are you going to tiptoe around to try to avoid me for the next few days?"

Eggsy tried to hide his pause at that. He shrugged a shoulder, making it as casual as possible, before taking another bite. "Dunno.... This you tryn'a get in my good books or d'you an' Harry cook like this all the time?" Eggsy held the man's eyes that time and took another bite just so he had something to concentrate on without breaking first. Landon had seemed a little more welcoming when Eggsy got to the dining room, but even he could see the dinner was meant to win him over. Even if it was _really_ good. There was no sense in not enjoying it, Eggsy figured.

"Is it not working?" Eggsy's blunt question seemed to have amused Landon; the smile he gave was a more sincere this time, and he no longer seemed quite as... stiff. Formal. Belatedly, Eggsy realized part of what that might be. Harry defied Eggsy's expectations of what posh people were like, while Landon had some of the traits that the boy found off-putting. Landon's accent was a crisp Scottish that had been merged with received pronunciation and the acculturated modes of speaking of the upper class, but he felt alien when compared to Harry. 

"Harry's quite fond of you. Considering we're friends, as well as coworkers, it would be remiss of me not to make an attempt to be on good terms with another person he values having in his life. Particularly when they're so few." 

If that was meant to pull on Eggsy's heartstrings, it worked. He chewed and swallowed slowly before lowering his burger. Eggsy felt a pang of guilt for not being more welcoming to Landon now, even if he suspected that might have been intended. He also didn't truly know how many friends Harry had. True that Eggsy suspected not many, at least not that he saw and he knew Harry wasn't close with his family. But he wasn't sure he should ask Landon and reveal he didn't know. It felt like admitting Landon knew more about Harry. 

So Eggsy found another tack. "Why d'you think that is?"

Landon ate another chip while he pondered the question and figured out exactly what words he wanted to feed the boy. "Some of that might be too complicated for you to understand just yet, how layers of the aristocracy work. Put simply, Harry's unusual, but in ways others don't necessarily like. He's got the confidence of an old family name and old family money and properties, and a tendency to politely, but very candidly, say what's on his mind in ways that others find offensive."

Eggsy gave a quiet laugh at that. "I could see that, yeah." He tried a chip and watched Landon, who wasn't at all shy about watching him back. It was weird how the man had warmed and yet was still just as off-putting. There was one thing Eggsy wanted to know, and he didn't feel like it would give too much away to ask. The more he thought about it, the more he decided that it would sound like a pretty normal question coming from someone his age who had a friend like Harry. "So what does Harry say, y'know, when he talks about me?"

"A great many things. That your cleverness and intellect is being squandered by your school's educational ability, which may be why you find it so boring, but that it's important that you be near your friends and familiar things." Landon watched Eggsy for his reactions. "That you're personable and bold for your age, and been through quite a bit that's a testament to your courage. All of which reminds him, in ways and at times, of your father."

Eggsy's eyebrows climbed higher and higher. He forgot to chew. "Harry said all o' that? You serious?" Eggsy knew Harry _liked_ him. He knew Harry even thought highly of him, but to hear it like that, out of someone else's mouth, with _specifics_..... Landon's mouth crooked and Eggsy realised he was opening up a bit more, just like the man wanted. Between the food keeping him there and Landon's compliments plying him for conversation, Eggsy was slipping in his determination to stay away from the man. But...if Eggsy could hold his ground, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. 

"Harry did, and he doesn't say things he doesn't mean. Which is a double-edged sword at times," Landon replied dryly. He raised his soda glass to take a drink and rewet his throat. When he lowered the glass and Eggsy was still staring, Landon barked a laugh. "Are you surprised that he told anyone at all, or are you surprised that he told _me_?"

Eggsy blinked. "Why'd I be surprised he told you?" Unless it was that plain that Eggsy thought Landon was a bit frightening. "I mean, I don't think I ever heard it confirmed by somebody else before. That Harry thought that an' all." Eggsy shrugged like it was no big deal, even if that cover was already blown. Eggsy looked away, swirling a chip in ketchup before he popped it into his mouth. "I gotta admit, I dunno much about you."

"Well, that's expected, considering we've just met and it's unlikely Harry would talk about work with you. I know very little about you either, beyond the bits and pieces Harry's related to me." Landon paused for a moment, and a hint of a smile touched his mouth. "From what I read in between the lines, being here must be quite a change from what you've been used to. What _is_ living with Harry like?"

Eggsy's eyes dropped back down to the chips and he took another, trying to fight a sudden bout of nervousness at the question. He shrugged one shoulder as he popped the chip into his mouth, forgetting to put ketchup on it. He wanted to show just how great Harry was, but...he wasn't sure if that would be such a good idea. "Different, I guess. Harry's real nice. An' it's not so far away that I had to switch schools or anythin' like that." The words came out of Eggsy in a rush. "He makes me do homework an' all still, but it ain't so bad." He scooped up a few more chips just so he wouldn't have to meet Landon's eyes. 

"I just think it would be an adjustment. He told me you came from a council house, from a family with a lot of money problems. Making such a change has to be a shock. For Harry as well, I should think." Landon watched Eggsy closely. Thus far, nothing had been too telling. Eggsy's nervousness could be easily dismissed as unease regarding talking to a stranger. What Landon couldn't test was how well he'd react to questions from people he already knew and was comfortable with. "Harry's never had anyone living with him in all the years I've known him. He must have an unusual affection for you, to be willing to move from living alone to having constant company."

Eggsy did look up at Landon at that. It was easier when he wasn't sure whether he should be offended at the man's mention of his family's background or...frankly, Eggsy didn't know what to do with the second comment, that Harry inviting him in was highly unusual. 

"I ain't some charity case," Eggsy said with confidence though he thought quickly he ought to amend it. "Least, I don't think so." He couldn't think of a good enough reason for Harry to like him except for that. So with narrowed gaze and a lift to his chin, he turned the question back at Landon, even if he was reaching for anything he could find. "You don't think Harry'd be nice enough to help out somebody like me? He knew my dad y'know." 

"I do know, from Harry's old stories," Landon replied. "And your father isn't the only person he used to know who left behind a widow and at least one child, although I will admit that Harry had a particular connection in regards to your father saving his life. It just doesn't seem significant enough that he'd be moved to get more than personally involved. Harry has always been very private, in many respects. It's very sudden for him to decide to change that."

Eggsy shrugged again, growing even more wary. "Why don't you jus' ask him then?" He could hear his accent coming thicker. He was on the defensive now, gearing up for a fight, even. It was possible Landon was just curious, but Eggsy didn't know what to do with these questions but hunch in on himself and expect the worst. He took a big bite of his burger just so he wouldn't have to talk, but he couldn't break his gaze away from Landon. 

"I have." Landon paused to eat another chip. He was enjoying the boy's squirming a bit too much. More so considering that he had Eggsy practically cornered in a physical sense - he had nowhere to go but Harry's house, after all. "He seemed a bit smitten with you. I thought it was possible that, after a number of years, Harry was beginning to reconsider having children in his life, regardless of the fact that he's still single. I don't know why you're so upset about me asking why you think he's become involved in your life. Surely you've already thought about it?"

Eggsy felt his cheeks begin to heat and fought it down. _'Smitten'._ That wasn't a word he expected Landon to use even if it made sense, in a way. "Jus' none of your business is all. If you're judgin' me cause of my mum an' money an' stuff. So what if Harry likes me. Or wants kids or summat?" Eggsy saved himself in the last minute and he could feel his cheeks reddening just a little more. He couldn't tell if Landon thought he was being justifiably curious or if he was just being rude, but Eggsy's irritation might be his only way out of this conversation. 

"I'm not judging who Harry picked to adopt. I'm interested because I am the best friend Harry has, which is why he picked me to look after you. Which you're making very difficult, I have to say." Landon was used to dealing with mouthy, rebellious new recruits from a position of authority, and all of them were a great deal older. Harry wouldn't appreciate him using any of the usual techniques on his boy toy. "I'm trying to figure out what sort of person you are, for Harry's sake. He's been much happier lately, and I want that happiness protected. What I don't know yet is whether you're going to break that or not."

Eggsy's teeth clenched. That did it. "So what you're sayin' is you don' trust me, that it?" Indignation welled in him like a fountain. There was so much he wanted to volley back at Landon, but none of it he could put together when he was this angry. All this good food, just a trick to get Eggsy to open up, or feel like he owed Landon for being nice to him, or something. And then being judged, and all these questions when Harry had warned him just how dangerous it was if he said anything. 

Eggsy didn't want to take it. He dropped the burger on his plate and gripped the edges of his chair. He leaned back, shoulders hunched, and glared at Landon. "Can I be excused now?" 

"Yes, you may." Landon watched the boy slide out of his chair and barely restrain himself from stomping off. Amusing as the sight was, Landon was irritated. He wasn't used to dealing with people he wasn't allowed to control. Eggsy made no secret that he didn't like or trust him, and the boy was so nettly that he wondered how Harry had even managed to coax him into his hand in the first place. Such was Harry's gift of charm, he supposed, which was why Harry was a field agent and he was a support handler and surveillance expert.

More concerning was the fact that Eggsy was so poor at hiding secrets when provoked. Even if he hadn't known about the relationship between Harry and Eggsy, Landon would have been able to make some educated guesses about the situation from the boy's reactions. Harry needed to be told. Eggsy was a weak link, and viable to get Harry caught if he ended up in front of the wrong person who asked the wrong questions or was a bit too observant.

From the living room, Eggsy could hear the faint sound of dishes being cleared away several minutes later. A small part of him regretted giving up the cheeseburger. He'd gotten enough to eat, but he wasn't full and now he probably wouldn't get another. Still, this friend of Harry's wasn't very nice at all. He couldn't see how Harry had a friend like Landon. He didn't even try to be respectful or understanding, especially if Harry had already told him what Eggsy had been through. A small part of him, deep down, wondered if he wasn't overreacting. That maybe Landon hadn't meant anything by it. That maybe Eggsy was just too sensitive to being thought of as lower class, or having his relationship with Harry questioned. Landon's questions hadn't _really_ been that prying.... 

Eggsy buried himself in a corner of the couch, feet curled up and arms wrapped around himself. Thoughts like that just made it worse, that his reaction might have been _his_ fault. 

When the sound of footsteps neared the hall, Eggsy grabbed one of his notebooks and pretended to be reading. 

Landon rounded the corner, caught sight of the boy, and sighed. "Eggsy, I'm not that unobservant. You don't have to sneak around and pretend to be occupied in order to avoid me. Although I'd prefer it that we talk more, later, to try to come to some sort of accord, since I'll be here for a few days and likely will be asked to do this again the next time Harry has a business trip. You do not, however, have to do anything other than tell me that you want to be alone, or don't want to talk, and I'll respect that."

Eggsy felt his lip quiver, but he did his best to hide it behind the notebook. He hadn't expected that pang of guilt and it warred with the anger inside of him, making his stomach feel too tight. 

Eggsy swallowed. "Then I don' wanna talk. Told you already I was good at bein' on my own." He refused to look up and meet the cool gaze he knew Landon was giving him. He could see it just out of the corner of his eye and even that was too much. Landon was a looming shape in the hall, but it was the wrong shape.

"You don't have to, now, but we'll have to later. Harry wouldn't want us fighting with one another," Landon countered softly. "But not now. I can see that you're too upset. I'm going back upstairs to the office. You can come get me if you need anything. Let me know if you get hungry before bed."

With that, Landon came closer, but only enough to reach the foot of the stairs. The wood creaked as he climbed, but after a few seconds he was gone and Eggsy was alone again.

Eggsy took a deep breath. He didn't know why he felt like he'd just faced down a lion. He put the notebook down, but didn't uncurl from his spot on the couch. 

He missed Harry. That feeling hit him harder than anything had in weeks. Not since he'd been left alone at Aunt Sue's. Harry said he was coming home, that it was just going to be a couple days, that he'd be back well before the weekend was over, but Eggsy wanted him back _now_. It felt like a hole in his chest, having someone else there instead of Harry. 

Eggsy got up, put his books in his backpack, and trudged up the stairs. He wasn't particularly tired and it was still a little early to go to bed, but he didn't know what else to do to get rid of that feeling. He passed by the office without glancing in, determined not to shy away. Let Landon see him; this was as much Eggsy's space now, too. He brushed his teeth and went to his room to put on his pyjamas before it hit him that he couldn't go and crawl into Harry's bed. He could have hit himself for forgetting. 

With his heart sinking even lower, Eggsy crawled under the blankets and turned off the light, trying not to let the unfamiliarity of it all get to him. 

Not all that long after, Landon heard the muffled sounds of crying. He'd taken care of his own work already and preoccupied himself with hacking into Harry's network of cameras and microphones. A few taps on the keyboard brought up a visual of Eggsy's room and, sure enough, there was a ball of misery curled up underneath the bedcovers, shaking whenever a sob hitched. Landon leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He wanted to curse Harry. What was he supposed to do with a weepy child? After a few minutes of deliberation, Landon shoved down his discomfort with the whole situation and got to his feet. It seemed a long walk, although it was only a few feet to Eggsy's bedroom. Landon paused at the doorway, then rapped his knuckles politely against the wood.

The sniffling sounds immediately stopped. Seconds passed in silence until finally Landon heard a small voice sound within. 

" _What?_ " 

The tone left no room for doubt, Eggsy was making up for his tears with venom. He probably hadn't expected Landon to hear. Possibly even assumed Landon had gone downstairs for the night or had taken Harry's bed. Eggsy clearly didn't realise how loud he'd been until now. 

"You're upset." Landon was stating the obvious, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Let the boy sob himself unconscious? That was an option, but one Harry wouldn't care to hear about when he got back. Or see, for that matter, since Landon didn't doubt that recordings were going to be downloaded and stored somewhere. "I don't know what I've done to earn such a reaction from you. Or are you simply angry that I'm not Harry?"

He was met with silence. A rather telling silence. 

A loud sniff and some rustling came from inside and then the click of the lamp. The crack under the door lit with a warm yellow glow. But still Eggsy said nothing, and Landon could just imagine him sitting there in bed, working out what to say or not to say, what would be too telling and what he could admit. 

"Eggsy..." From the silence, Landon was beginning to suspect what was going on. It wasn't just that the boy had taken a dislike to him, likely from the way he'd tested Eggsy to see how well he was able to lie. Eggsy was new to relationships, and Harry had only encouraged the boy to become as attached as he possibly could, and now Eggsy was feeling that loss in a way he hadn't before. "Can I come in? Or... would you prefer to come out? I think Harry still has the hot chocolate mix he keeps tucked into the upper lefthand cupboard, unless you both have managed to drink it all."

It was another second before Eggsy made his voice heard. "You can come in." He couldn't disguise the note of shakiness in his voice, however. 

When Landon turned the handle and cracked the door, he saw Eggsy just as he'd pictured: sat up in bed with the light on beside him, hunched forward with his hands fisted in the sheets, eyes red and looking overall quite miserable. His bottom lip quivered as Landon approached the bed, but Eggsy wasn't scared of him. That much, at least, was good. 

Landon sat down at the edge of the bed. After a moment of hesitation and one aborted attempt, he reached out and laid a hand on Eggsy's back. The boy looked like he was going to burst into tears again at any moment, much to Landon's discomfort. "What are you upset about? Harry not being here? It's only for a few days."

Eggsy's face crumbled. He took a breath, but his words were hitching when he spoke. "I jus'.... I jus' really miss 'im..." And then the tears were falling again, even as much as Eggsy was clearly trying to hold it back. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, but he couldn't stop them. The small bit of comfort Landon gave him seemed to open up a flood. Eggsy wouldn't look Landon in the eye. He just hunched in on himself like he could hide it, and then the next thing Landon knew, Eggsy had tipped forward and buried his head against Landon's side as he cried.

Landon's eyes widened. His lips parted in surprise and the hand not resting against Eggsy's back hovered in midair, uncertain of what he should do. Landon wasn't a consoling sort of person. He wasn't someone who was particularly keen on touch, either, and yet here he was with a child crying against his chest and seeking comfort that he didn't know how to give. After a second, Landon drew on observations he'd made over the years and, swallowing down his instincts and his revulsion over inevitably getting covered in snot and tears, let his arms encircle the boy and pull him closer. Harry was going to _owe him_ for this. "It's alright. Everything is going to be fine. Just a few days and he'll be back."

Eggsy just cried harder. Landon didn't think he'd said anything that terrible, except that Eggsy still had days to go before Harry returned. Small hands clenched in his shirt and Eggsy didn't let go. He also didn't look up, just hid his face and tried to stifle the sobs. 

After a few minutes, Eggsy finally quieted into small snuffles. He still didn't let go. He held on so long in fact that it became apparent that he didn't want to let Landon see him, that he was probably ashamed for having cried like that in front of a stranger. Especially after he'd tried to assert just how well he could handle being alone. 

One of Landon's hands reached up to stroke Eggsy's hair. He was doing his best to hide his distaste. From the wet, thick sounds Eggsy was making, it was clear that his shirt was due for a laundering. "...it's alright. It's going to be rough, but you're not alone. Not unless you want to be. I'll see if Harry has a bit of time and maybe you can even sneak in a brief phone call, hmm?"

Landon shifted, but Eggsy was still clinging tightly to his side. "What do you say we go to the bathroom and clean you up a bit?"

Eggsy took another breath and finally let go, nodding. He wiped his nose and eyes with his arm and still avoided Landon's eyes. 

"An' hot chocolate?" Eggsy asked as Landon slid off the bed and drew Eggsy along with him, hand carefully placed at Eggsy's shoulder. Eggsy followed easily enough even though he kept his head bent and dragged his feet a little. He winced when Landon flipped the switch and they were bathed in bright light. It wasn't until Landon turned on the tap that Eggsy finally glanced up. 

Landon was calm. He had the same focused look on his face that Eggsy had previously found cold, but as he bustled around, grabbing flannel from the linen closet and wetting it, Eggsy thought something was a little softer. Concern, maybe. The boy was more surprised when Landon knelt so that they were on an equal level again. "Yes, we can make some hot chocolate too. Tilt your chin up a bit so I can see. There."

A warm cloth wiped away the evidence of Eggsy's tears. Landon stood again to rinse the cloth off. Still, the man couldn't help but grimace as Eggsy took a tissue from the box and blew his nose.

Much to Landon's surprise, Eggsy gave a small laugh. Landon hadn't hidden the expression well enough. 

"Sorry," Eggsy said, "I ain't usually like this." He sounded a little better, more collected if still quiet, and the hitch was gone from his voice. Eggsy rose up onto his toes to glance at himself in the mirror. He could only just see, but he grimaced when he did and slumped back down, again not meeting Landon's eyes. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Harry asked me to be here for you, after all. He's never bothered to have me housesit for him before the house was occupied. He usually just dropped off Mr. Pickle at my house, but I'm glad he didn't think to try that with you." Landon gave him a flicker of a smile, just enough for Eggsy to see that he was joking. The man gestured towards the doorway. "I think you said hot chocolate was next on the itinerary."

Eggsy nodded and led the way back downstairs, bare feet carrying him lightly as he went. He didn't look like he was ready for smiles yet, but he was calm now and he might just be, tentatively, very tentatively, warming up. Eggsy slid into a seat at the dining table while Landon went to the cupboard to find the mix. Eggsy wasn't shy about watching anymore, but his feet still swung nervously under the table. He watched in silence as Landon brewed hot water and took down two mugs. 

"There's marshmallows in the other cupboard," Eggsy spoke up. "One next to the fridge." 

Landon glanced at him, then went to check. Sure enough, a plastic packet of white fluff was nestled on one of the shelves inside. Landon retrieved it with a bemused look. "Harry must have gotten these for you. He's never had them, the times he's had me over. Of course, most of the time we weren't drinking hot chocolate." The kettle began whistling, and Landon tossed the packet at Eggsy, nodding in approval when the boy caught it. He moved back to the stove to pour water into the mugs.

Moments later he deposited Eggsy's mug in front of him and sat down in the adjoining chair with his own.

Eggsy dropped a couple marshmallows in his mug and nudged the bag over to Landon. He picked the mug up with two hands, careful not to spill, and took a sip. It was good, evidenced by how quickly he took another. And another after that. The drink turned out to be a good idea. Eggsy looked more settled the longer he sipped, turning the mug this way and that in his hands to get at the marshmallows. He seemed almost to forget Landon was there at all for a while. 

Eventually, Eggsy broke the silence. "Think we can call him tomorrow after school?"

"We'll see. We can't interrupt him while he's with a client, but I'll let him know you want to talk. Hopefully he'll get back to me before you get home. It could end up being right away, or later in the evening, depending on what's going on." Landon raised his own mug, his eyes down on the table in thought. He knew all too well how tricky it would be to coordinate enough time for Harry to get to a secure location where he wouldn't be overheard. And how dangerous it might be to have anything distracting him while out in the field. Harry was already going to be distracted enough; Eggsy crying into the phone about how much he was missed might increase that distraction considerably.

Eggsy just nodded, his eyes falling back to his mug. It was almost gone already. After another moment of what looked like intense scrutiny, Eggsy's fingers slipped into the bag of marshmallows, pulled one out, and popped it directly into his mouth. He glanced up at Landon and then did it again. Apparently, Eggsy's coping method for loneliness was more sugar. 

"You'll never sleep if you eat all that, you know." Landon's gaze was fixed on him again. It was just as unsettling as before, but something of the cold was offset by how out of place Landon obviously was. Both hands were wrapped around his own mug to warm his palms, and he looked at Eggsy as if he didn't know what to make of him. "You'll need your rest for school, and so that you're awake enough to actually talk to Harry once we get him on the phone."

"I know," Eggsy said as he took another marshmallow out of the bag. "Are you uh.... Are you stayin' down here, or up in Harry's room?" Eggsy asked, unable to avoid the bluntness of the question. He was looking at Landon again, like he'd gained some of his courage back. This time he was making his face blank, too. Like the question held no particular meaning to Eggsy. 

Landon blinked. "In Harry's room, of course. There's no particular reason for me to sleep on the sofa when Harry told me I was welcome to his room. Thankfully, that puts me in shouting distance if you need anything, although I'd prefer you not to wake me up if you get hungry. Just grab something from the kitchen yourself." 

Eggsy shook his head. "Won't do that." He looked a little dejected at the thought of someone else sleeping in Harry's bed. If Eggsy was upset about that, Landon realised, it meant there was a very high chance he'd been sleeping in Harry's bed for a while now. Eggsy did not ask on the subject any further, just drained the rest of his mug and went to put it in the sink.

"Will you be alright for the night, or do you want me to stay close by?" Landon rose to put his own mug in the sink, rinsing it out first before it settled against Eggsy's with a small clink. "I'm not Harry, obviously, or a particularly good substitute for him. It's early enough to watch a film or something similar, however. I had assumed that you'd left for bed early because you were upset with me and the situation."

Eggsy looked a little guilty at that. He tried to give a shrug, but it wasn't as nonchalant as he was aiming for. "Could maybe watch a film, I guess," Eggsy mumbled, but he didn't sound quite so disheartened as he'd been before. Then he glanced up at Landon like he was trying to read him. "Long as it's somethin' good?" Eggsy amended, coming to the conclusion that Landon's choice of films might be suspect. If Harry had expressed his penchant for romantic classics to Eggsy at any point, Eggsy might have turned wary of the tastes of any adult Harry's age. 

"I'm sure we can come to an agreement. I'm partial to the action, suspense, and horror genres, myself, but I don't want you to pick something so frightening you can't sleep. Which," Landon reminded him with a quirk of an eyebrow. "Might mean that you miss your phone call with Harry out of fatigue, and neither of us want that. Let's see what's available, and both of us reserve the right to veto the other's suggestions. Does that sound fair?"

"Sounds fair, but good luck tryin'a scare me," Eggsy shot back, head up, eyes brighter than they'd been mere moments ago. His tone lacked the bite it had before. Eggsy slid off his chair and went to open the film cabinet Harry had once kept tidy, now in disarray after Eggsy had gone through it several times, while Landon followed. 

It took Eggsy a couple minutes, pulling out tapes and putting them into a small pile next to him, but when he'd gathered a few he looked back up at Landon. 

"Aliens or Predator?" Eggsy asked with what might have been a slight lift to the corner of his mouth. 

"Aliens, for certain." Landon's mouth was touched by a real smile, for the first time since Eggsy had met him. The emotion even reached his eyes, which were lit with approval. "Have you seen it before? Horror movies tend to all have jump scares, but this one's are a bit unique. Not really for the squeamish, or the claustrophobic."

"Some of it," Eggsy said with pride as he put the tape in and went back to his spot on the couch, the spot that Landon hadn't taken. "But my mum came in and turned it off before it got to the end," Eggsy admitted. "But Harry lets me watch whatever I want, an' I'm older now, so she won' be upset or nuthin'," Eggsy rushed to explain, fearing Landon might suddenly change his mind. "An' I don't have to tell her." He glanced sideways across the couch, folded up into the corner and looking nervous, but hopeful. 

Landon settled back onto his own side of the couch, as relaxed as he could be with such unusual company. His smile hadn't vanished yet, had turned just the slightest bit playful. "I'm not arguing the point. Harry's house, Harry's rules, and nothing that happens here needs to leave the premises. He can even blame me if you get traumatized. Just don't expect me to walk you to the bathroom in the middle of the night if you wake up afraid that there's an alien under your bed."

"No way." Eggsy pressed his back into the seat and scoffed. He got comfortable and reached for the remote to turn the volume up while Landon turned off the light. 

Eggsy may have sounded confident, but over the course of the film, Landon caught him jumping more than once. Eggsy looked pale and even smaller under the glow of the telly with his legs tucked under him and the way he'd half turned into the couch, an unconscious reaction to the horror playing out on screen. He put up a brave front though, or thought he was simply by staying as still as he could, but the way he held his arms close to his chest and the subtle tension in his hands gave him away. 

Landon enjoyed every minute of it. Eventually he began covertly watching the boy more than the movie itself, and ruminating over the fact that his laptop was now hooked into Harry's cameras and recording every moment from different angles that he could view again later.

Once Eggsy had begun to warm up to him - and, importantly, was no longer leaking tears and mucus - Landon had to admit that the boy had a particular charm. He couldn't fully understand Harry's interests in Eggsy, not without sharing in Harry's tastes and perspectives, but he was beginning to have a glimpse.

Eggsy's attention was too caught up in the film to notice, and even if he did, Landon could keep such a straight face that it would have been difficult for Eggsy to decipher anything from the looks. By the time the film was over, he'd inched marginally closer to Landon's side of the couch, but mostly Eggsy had just tried to bury himself in it. 

When Landon finally looked over at him without trying to hide it, Eggsy straightened. "That was _sick_ ," he declared in a tone much surer than he felt. 

The older man laughed. "Yes, it was. But more importantly, did you enjoy it? That's a bit of the point of horror movies, after all. To be able to explore things you'd never want to really face in real life, get a bit of a thrill, and then go back to your life without any trauma. Or hopefully," Landon added, giving Eggsy a dubious look. "You appear a bit shaken. Do I need to be leaving the hallway light on? Hallways do look a bit like spaceship corridors in the dark."

"Shut up!" Eggsy smacked his hand against Landon's shoulder without thinking. "I ain't scared! Even if it _was_ scary. Like, that just makes it good." Eggsy lifted his chin and pushed his shoulders back in a show of defiance. "Maybe _you_ want the light on," he added, levelling Landon with a raise of one small brow and a cock of Eggsy's head. He stared Landon down in challenge. 

"I've watched far scarier than this," the older man laughed again. He stopped before Eggsy could mistake him as laughing _at_ the boy, instead of the impossibility of the situation. Landon nudged Eggsy right back in the shoulder. "Tell you what. If you're telling the truth, and you're not scared tonight, then tomorrow you can ask Harry if I'm allowed to show you something scarier. How's that sound?"

Both of Eggsy's brows went up at that. "Okay!" 

In spite of the way Eggsy couldn't quite hide his reaction to the film they'd just seen, he wasted no time deliberating. He'd have time to spend thinking of whether that would be a good idea or not overnight, but if the soundness of the decision occurred to him then, he didn't want to show it. Eggsy obviously wanted to make good on his claim that he was more grown up than he looked, in spite of his bout of tears. There was a competitive streak in the boy, one that jumped at Landon's challenge the moment he'd issued it.

"Now, since it's already getting past your bedtime, how about a demonstration of that bravery?" 

Landon's smile widened. Eggsy was already primed for the trap, leaning forward defiantly, spine straight at the notion that he was afraid. "You can go up the stairs first. No lights on, mind. That's cheating."

Eggsy looked at him like he was joking, but Landon saw the kernel of trepidation in his face. Eggsy hadn't expected to be challenged. 

"What, you gonna make noises down here or summat?" Eggsy cocked his head. He'd obviously intended it to be a rebuke, but his tone wasn't quite confident enough. Landon simply gave him a raised brow in return, so Eggsy huffed and slid off the couch. "Fine. 'S easy." He rolled his small shoulders, straightened his back, and made his way out into the hall with Landon's gaze on him all the way. 

Eggsy tried not to think about it as the light faded from the stairs. The pit of his stomach dropped as soon as he looked up into the darkness of the second floor landing, knowing it must be there, but unable to make anything out. He took a deep breath, grit his teeth, and started climbing. 

Landon followed behind him, several feet back, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to watch Eggsy climb. The older man was amused, but also strangely proud. Another child might have backed down at such a challenge, or tried to get accommodations, or made excuses. Eggsy had been dismayed, but he'd risen to the challenge _anyways_.

Eggsy was doing rather well for himself, in fact. The boy's steps were faltering as he neared the top and looked down the lightless corridor, but he hadn't stopped. He didn't stop, in fact, until he was at the top of the stairs and the bannister ran out. The hallway stretched on in front of him, made unfamiliar by the gloom and the dark, segmented bodies now haunting Eggsy's imagination. "Needing assistance, Eggsy? Or are you alright to walk to your room and turn on the light?"

"Told you, I ain't scared," Eggsy called back, his voice just a little louder than it needed to be. Defiance. Yet Landon could just make out how tense the line of his body was. 

Eggsy stepped forward, kept his eyes straight ahead of him like maybe if he didn't look, there would be nothing lurking around the corner of Harry's office or just around the side of the bathroom door. Tellingly, very tellingly, the only other direction Eggsy glanced was Harry's room. Only briefly and then he was through the door of the guest room. Landon saw the light flicker on barely a moment after Eggsy's feet crossed the threshold. 

Landon was impressed, not that he'd ever voice it. Few boys Eggsy's age would normally be able to stomach such a film, particularly after being a bit sheltered, and then go walk down a pitch black hallway on a dare. Landon didn't know whether that signaled beneficial traits or not. In some, that kind of behavior marked bravery, willpower, and reasoned thought. In others, it could mean obstinance and pride that could get them, and people around them, badly hurt or killed from sheer foolishness.

After a few moments, Landon climbed the staircase himself.

He didn't expect Eggsy's head to poke out the door. "So I made it then, yeah? I get to talk to Harry tomorrow and ask?" It was almost funny how someone could sound so keen and yet so uneasy at the thought of more horror, but Eggsy's eyes were filled with hope and even a little bit of pride. Landon could see the way his hands clutched together over the door handle, still not quite relaxed. 

" _Yes_. Yes, you do." Landon hadn't expected Eggsy to grow on him, and yet inexplicably, it seemed to be happening, even after the boy's initial brattish and combative attitude. The older man didn't usually like kids, but Harry had been right about at least one thing: Eggsy was different. "You still need to brush before you turn in, though. Harry's not likely to forgive me if he comes back and I've let your teeth rot from sweets and a lack of hygiene."

Eggsy gave a great sigh and rolled his eyes. "That doesn't happen in a couple days you know." But he trudged off to the toilet, regardless. 

If Landon wasn't mistaken, and he was sure that he wasn't, Eggsy was beginning to let his guard down. Some of that dinner and his attempts at being kind to the boy had paid off. It remained to be seen just how comfortable Eggsy would get, or how much he'd open up, but the boy didn't seem to be offended by his mere presence anymore. 

All to the good. That would make a great many things easier. Since Eggsy was never going to return to his mother's care, the boy would have to get used to his presense at the very least, and his level of comfort and trust would make it that much simpler to keep him oblivious to Kingsman, and Harry's actions. Eggsy wouldn't be suspicious and looking for cracks and clues.

Eggsy's lowered guard would also make it easier to further test exactly how well he'd guard his secrets around those he otherwise trusted. Landon already had feedback for Harry about the boy's body language, but the more data they had, the more they could guide Eggsy into hiding things more seamlessly.

Eggsy didn't take long in the toilet. He came out to find Landon had settled into the office again. This time, Eggsy hovered in the doorway, apparently a bit out of sorts about the proper manners for their relationship now. 

After a moment of dragging his toe against the floor, Eggsy got Landon's attention. "Er, g'night. You know when to get up in the morning?"

Landon looked up from his laptop screen. He hadn't been working on anything, simply because he hadn't wanted to risk Eggsy glimpsing anything had he decided to enter the room and draw close. "Yes, Harry gave me quite an earful about making certain you're well-fed and at school on time. I'll be awake on time, although I'm sure you'll wish I wasn't, just for an excuse to skip a day."

Landon paused, and gave Eggsy another flicker of a smile. "Good night, and sleep well. If you need anything, I'll likely be either in here or in Harry's room."

Eggsy gave a small nod. "'Kay." But if Landon wasn't mistaken, and again he had reason to believe he wasn't, Eggsy still looked a little heartbroken when he mentioned Harry's room. 

After another somewhat awkward second, Eggsy turned and went back to his own room. Once there, he closed the door only partially, and didn't turn out the lamp for a very long time. 

Landon brought up the camera feeds and watched Eggsy struggle to get to sleep. Having two worries on his mind counterbalanced things a bit; it was difficult for the boy to be too sad about Harry's absence with the anticipation of a phone call the next day and the excitement of the horror movie still fresh in his mind. Eggsy tossed and turned under the lamplight, and then a bit more once he turned it off and only had light from the hallway streaming through his cracked door.

After he'd seen enough, Merlin picked up his phone and texted a short message to Harry to coordinate the phone call the following day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. We hope this chapter finds you well. Due to unavoidable RL happenings, next week's chapter is going to be a week late. We saw this coming, and it shouldn't be any later than that. We do hope to give you a small treat instead, so check our blogs next Friday (Aug 14th) for that. [Silus](http://silusl.tumblr.com) and [Piper](http://the-piper-of-hameln.tumblr.com)
> 
> Otherwise, just wait for the next chapter as usual and you'll see.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! Thanks for waiting, everyone. Here's an extra bit of art to make it worth it. Inspired at no particular point in the story (yet, we'll see) and also by J.C. Leyendecker, Harry takes Eggsy out for the night:
> 
>   
> [More art here.](http://pixiv.me/x57)  
> 

The next afternoon saw Eggsy bursting through the front door at top speed, shedding his coat and backpack, and calling up the stairway for Landon. It wasn't hard to guess what was on his mind, as it was the same thing that had been on his mind ever since Landon first met him, and there was nothing quite like Harry Hart to get the child over a long night of little sleep. 

Eggsy bounded up the stairs, heading straight for the office. 

Landon had enough forewarning to quickly save and exit out of the programs he'd been using. Eggsy wouldn't have realized what he was looking at, even if he'd caught a glimpse, but Landon was not in the habit of taking chances or letting assumptions cause him to grow complacent. He'd seen how such things had ended others at Kingsman throughout the organization.

The older man turned to smile at the small figure that popped into the doorway. Even so, part of him felt a twinge of annoyance. Few people were ever happy to see him - and even then, usually they were happier for the information or services that Landon had to offer. Eggsy was no exception to the rule. The boy was only excited to see him because of the way he'd be facilitating Eggsy's connection to Harry. 

"Welcome home. I see you survived the school day intact."

Eggsy shrugged but was only marginally thrown off track. He did not yet have the tact to hold on manners and greet Landon out of consideration. Instead, he planted himself in front of the desk and gave the man wide, pleading eyes. 

"Did you hear back from Harry? Can we call him? Please?" Eggsy even rocked up onto the balls of his feet in his excitement. It was almost jarring how much the quintessential boy he was in that moment. 

Landon didn't have Harry's eye, but even he could easily imagine where such things could go. Eggsy was bright-eyed and flushed, eager, leaning forward. Landon wondered just how often Harry had seen Eggsy in a similar state, and then rapidly progressed to a state that required privacy and discretion.

None of his thoughts lit upon the older man's face. Landon maintained his mask of pleasant amusement, one side of his mouth quirking up before he dug out the cell phone he'd prepared. "I did hear back, as a matter of fact. He's still in a meeting until about an hour from now. I'd ask you to get a start on your schoolwork, but I suspect you won't be able to concentrate until after the call."

Eggsy nodded frantically, but somehow he managed to make it look a little sheepish. "You're right on that one, bruv." He gave a huge sigh, one meant to calm him down, and then looked a little lost. "Can we have dinner maybe? Unless you're workin' on sumthin'?" It was still early, but Eggsy looked like he couldn't think of anything else to do. Even video games couldn't distract him when Harry was involved, apparently. His hands swung at his sides and he looked like a ball of nervous energy. 

"You don't look like you'd sit still for dinner. Unless I'm mistaken, you're more restless than hungry." Landon pocketed the phone, clicked shut the screen of his laptop, and got to his feet. After a moment of thought, Landon gave Eggsy a considering look. "You know, I'd be willing to bet that Harry still has the football I gave him, somewhere. Mostly as a joke, as Harry's more the type to watch sporting events than play them, but I don't think he'd have gotten rid of it. Harry's a bit of a hoarder at times, if you haven't noticed."

With another flicker of a smile, Landon slid his hands into his pockets. "Would you care to go look with me? Having something to kick around will fare you better than waiting for an early dinner and rushing through it just to make the phone call in a timely manner."

"You play?" Eggsy brightened. "We could take it out back. Promise not to break the neighbours' windows. Much." The boy grinned and slipped past Landon, making his way back into the hall with an overly confident swagger. "Where d'ya think Harry'd put somethin' like that?" Eggsy quickly discarded the rooms upstairs, except for maybe the closets, as well as the small library and the other spaces he'd seen downstairs. It was clear he'd never gone through Harry's things before, probably rarely even with Harry's supervision, as he looked slightly hesitant at the thought of it.

"I'm going to venture a guess that it's in storage, in the little underground garage stall. That tends to be where Harry puts everything he doesn't count on using for quite some time." Landon didn't need to roll his eyes; his tone said quite enough. He followed behind Eggsy, who had immediately turned and walked towards the stairwell. "Maybe between the two of us, we can persuade Harry to get out of his suits and into something a little more grass-stained. He doesn't seem to heed me, but he might listen to you."

Landon flipped the light switch as they stepped through the doorway that led into the small unit. Each stall was sectioned off for privacy and security, the garage door leading out into the underground driveway shared by several units before it curved upwards and exited onto a back street. The stall was a tight fit for Harry's car, but sure enough, tucked in one corner was a metal rack with several storage boxes. Landon pulled a few down and peeked inside the lid, then tilted one for Eggsy to grab the football hidden inside, next to what looked like two photo albums. 

Eggsy stayed close to his side. It was dark down there even with the overhead light on and he hadn't forgotten the film they'd watched the night prior, but Eggsy grabbed the ball and took a half step back. His gaze was, however, noticeably caught on the box still. 

"What's those?" Eggsy asked, curiosity getting the better of him before he realised it might be impolite to pry into Harry's things. If he realised it at all, for Eggsy stepped forward again just as Landon turned to look and picked up one of the albums. 

"Photos. Probably old embarrassing ones, if he shoved them out here." Landon picked one up, flipped it open, and chuckled. Before Eggsy could ask what was so funny, the older man had turned the album around so Eggsy could see.

The photos were of a much younger Harry, likely in his early twenties or even late teens. They had the grainy, aged look of old photos, but the colors were still bright. Harry was bright eyed and disheveled, his school uniform askew or missing pieces. More likely than not, he was drunk, and there were people whose faces hadn't been captured by the camera, or were captured imperfectly. Harry was sprawled across someone's lap in one photo, and others had blurred limbs and faces. In the photographs that were clearer, Eggsy recognized no one else but Harry.

" _Whoa._ " The word left Eggsy in a breath of air. Without thinking, his small hands reached up to take the book from Landon and flip through it, transfixed. 

There was Harry in a suit, straight-backed and formal, but posing in front of the camera like it was his very first. Eggsy looked surprised to see the glasses, the same glasses Harry still wore. He kept flipping and stumbled upon some from a...very different setting. Harry with his shirt off, glasses on, posing in front of the camera like he was a model. The next was more of the same, in a different position, arms above his head, but this time his belt and trousers were undone, hips pushed suggestively toward the viewer. Landon recognised them from one of Harry's first honeypot missions, but Eggsy....Eggsy just stared, having no idea what to think. 

"He was quite the partier, at school and in our social circles. It's very popular to say that people mature and mellow out with age, but I'm not convinced that Harry ever truly outgrew his wild youth. He just became more strategic about how and when he indulged. Get a few drinks in him and you'll see, with the sort of comments that come out of his mouth." Landon paused. "Although, come to think of it, sometimes he doesn't need a drink at all."

Eggsy turned his wide eyes on Landon. In another situation, Eggsy might have laughed at such a thing, might not have been thrown by it at all. If it were the father or guardian of one of his mates, for example, but there was a faint flush to Eggsy's face and he didn't seem to know what to say. Or how to feel about Landon's nonchalance. 

"Y'think so?" Eggsy finally asked, apparently trying to pretend it was no big deal after all. Except for the sincerity in his voice that gave him away, and the glances he kept throwing at the book. 

"I know so. Harry's never stopped with the teasing and the pranks, so long as he thinks he can get away with it." Landon glanced down at the book again and shrugged. "If you haven't seen it yet, I'm sure you will, considering you're living with him for a while."

Eggsy was still quiet, and not able to stop sneaking looks and the photos. Landon slid his hands into his pockets and tried not to let his sense of satisfaction write itself across his features. "Does it bother you?"

"Whu-? Oh, no," Eggsy said, flipping the book shut. "I mean, just surprised is all. Sounds more like my mates back home." He gave a little shrug and tried to cover up his odd reaction with a very cute smile. "Y'think Harry'd mind if we brought some of this stuff up?" Eggsy looked over the other few items on the shelf, but it was obvious he was thinking only of the albums. Eggsy could lie, certainly, but deception was not his strong suit. 

"I don't see why not. Let Harry be the embarrassed one for a change. Although, I don't know if we'll manage that. He is rather shameless." Landon plucked the photo albums out of the box and tucked them under one arm. "We've still got a bit of time to kick the ball around before Harry will be available to call. Think you'll be able to go easy on me? I've spent more time watching than playing, in recent years."

Eggsy cocked his head and immediately he was back in game mode. "Dunno 'bout that. You might just 'ave to take a beatin'." Eggsy darted around Landon and kicked the ball ahead of him, swerving to reach the door in the dark before he picked it up again, grinned, and shot up the stairs, leaving Landon to follow. 

Eggsy may have acted like he'd forgotten about the books after that, kicking a ball around the secluded mew seemed utterly engrossing to the boy and Landon had to admit that Eggsy was actually quite good at it for his age, but he had also seen the look that had come into the boy's face upon seeing those images of Harry. 

Landon also didn't doubt that Eggsy was still thinking about the albums and that they'd find their way into the boy's room, sooner rather than later. Eggsy would be sneaky about it, and likely put the albums back wherever they were originally left, but the cameras wouldn't lie. Landon knew what he'd be prompting the moment he planted those photos and the football in Harry's garage.

He'd get a measure of just how far along Harry's corruption of Eggsy had reached, and he was willing to bet that it'd be quite a show. Not his usual preference, but there was always something more fascinating about seeing the corruption of youth, or people he personally knew, instead of targeting strangers and watching them fall.

By the time they were finished, Eggsy was dripping sweat down his collar bone and believed he'd thoroughly trashed the older man. The boy even crowed about it as they headed back through the front door, waving his arms over his head like an invisible crowd was applauding for him. Naturally, he dropped the act and forgot about it a second later, the moment he turned around with that hopeful look on his face and fixed Landon in his sights. Landon hadn't even closed the door. 

"So can we call Harry now?"

"Yes. Fine," Landon sighed and pulled the door closed behind him, turning the bolt and testing that it was properly locked. He wasn't a field agent for several reasons, and he'd forgotten just how exhausting children tended to be. Letting Eggsy talk to Harry on the phone meant that he could get away for a respite in the kitchen, work on dinner, and then have a well-deserved rest while Eggsy did his homework. "Up in the office, if you please."

Landon felt even more tired watching the boy race up the stairs in response, prompting Mr. Pickle to awaken from his sleep in his kennel in the kitchen and give a few barks at the noise. Landon was slower to follow, and he had dug out his phone and already started to dial before he came face to face with a bright-eyed, expectant Eggsy. 

The boy took no notice of his state of fatigue. Eggsy was far more interested in the phone in his hand. The boy settled himself beside the desk, not bothering to take the other chair in the corner, and waited while Landon called. 

They both knew Eggsy could have done the same with his phone if he'd really wanted to. Or needed to. But Eggsy hadn't had permission and, more importantly, if he'd done so, Landon would have heard about it. 

It was several rings before the line picked up on the other end and Harry's voice sounded in Landon's ear. 

"Yes, hello?"

"Hello. Sorry to bother you on a work trip, but you have a very important and anxious client who needs to have a word. Or several." Landon's gaze flicked to Eggsy, taking in the boy's barely-contained excitement, and he was amused all over again. Eggsy wasn't faking, but if he had been, Landon would have suspected that Harry had put him up to it in an effort to gloat and flaunt their relationship right under his nose. 

Landon held the phone out and spoke loudly enough that he knew Harry would hear him through the receiver. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Do try to keep things short. Harry does have work to do, and sleep to catch, and international phone calls are rather expensive." With that, Landon turned on his heel and left the office. 

He didn't bother to pause outside the door. The microphones in the office would record everything for his perusal later.

"Harry?" Eggsy asked into the phone. 

"Couldn't stay away, could you, love?" came Harry's soothing voice on the other end. Eggsy just about melted, memories of the Harry he'd seen just days ago fresh in his mind and how much he missed him, now mixing with memories of those photos. Of Harry, younger, casually sexual, murmuring the word 'love' into Eggsy's ear. "How are you holding up?" Harry asked. "Is Sean treating you well?"

Eggsy tried to speak, but for a few seconds nothing came out. A lump had lodged itself in his throat, and Eggsy felt the threat of yesterday's tears before he swallowed the emotion back down. "I... yeah, I guess. I mean, now he's alright. He was a nosy tosser at the start, but... he let me watch Alien and said I could watch something else if I did alright and you said yes, and I trounced him at football, but he's not you. Are... you're comin' back soon, right?"

"Yes Eggsy, still on schedule. Looks like I should be home before the end of the day tomorrow." Harry's voice was filled with warmth and it made Eggsy think he might not be the only one who was missed so fervently. "Sounds like you're keeping Sean on his toes. I appreciate it. It'll be good for him." Harry sounded like he was smiling that soft smile of his. Eggsy could just imagine it. Something that sounded like a man shouting came up in the background, but it was gone just as quickly. Harry went on, completely unperturbed, "Do you still have that watch I gave you? I hope you've been keeping it safe."

"Yeah, I got it. I thought about keepin' it in my pocket at school, but... I didn't want anyone nickin' it, or it fallin' out. I wrapped it up and put it in my backpack, but there's not a scratch on it or nothin'." Eggsy knew exactly where it was. He'd be digging it out after dinner, to turn over in his hands while he went through the borrowed photo albums when he thought Landon wouldn't notice they were missing. Neither would be a substitute for having Harry there and falling asleep with the safe feeling of a larger body wrapped around him and sheltering him, but Eggsy would take even one of Harry's accessories over a complete lack. "I just wish you were here. I... he asked me all sorts of questions. Your friend, I mean, and then he was sleepin' in your room, and I didn't... remember. That I couldn't do some things."

"Oh?" Eggsy could hear the raised brow in Harry's voice. "And what came of that?" Harry didn't sound worried, but then again Harry never really sounded worried, not even when he'd seen Eggsy at the worst of times. He'd seen Harry angry, insistent, absolutely resolute, but never quite worried, so it was very hard to tell if Harry might just be hiding it. He had warned Eggsy what would happen if he let on about their relationship, but he'd not given the boy many guidelines on what to say instead. 

"I... I don't..." Eggsy broke off for a moment and glanced at the doorway, but it was clear, and he'd heard Landon descend the stairs to the ground floor. Even so, he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I don't think he knows, but it was weird. Like he thought it was strange, you adoptin' me when he's not seen you being interested in havin' kids around before, I guess. It kinda felt like he was asking about personal stuff, like he was suspicious, and I didn't know what to do and I just got _mad_ that he'd do that. He tried to bribe me, y'know? Made burgers for dinner the first night and tried to get me to like him before he was a git."

Harry, to Eggsy's surprise, chuckled into the phone. "I hope you told him off, then? That sounds like Sean. But don't let it get to you. Sean has been curious for some time now about how I've shown interest in you, but it's only because he's known me for so long. You don't have to hold it against him, or worry. Not with him. If he continues to pry, you have my permission to tell him where to shove it." Harry sounded like he was moving, and very suddenly Eggsy heard the distinct sounds of a street. Then more voices, shouting. "Look, Eggsy, I'm going to have to go now, but I'll be home soon."

"I-...ok, um..." Eggsy's tongue felt too thick in his mouth. He'd barely gotten to speak to Harry at all, and the fact that his time was up filled Eggsy with a sense of panic. Harry was half a world away, and nothing Eggsy could do would keep him safe and bring him home sooner. "Harry? I... love you, just come home soon and be safe. Or else," the boy added, putting a bit of heat into the last two words even though he had no way of enforcing consequences. "I mean it."

"Thank you, Eggsy." Harry sounded sincere in spite of the way Eggsy could tell his stride had quickened. "I love you, too," Eggsy heard just as something very loud sounded in the background, almost like a car backfiring, and the line went dead. Eggsy was left alone in Harry's office, everything silent and still. He couldn't even hear Landon on the floor below, just the dull hum of the street outside and not much more. 

With his heart still pounding in his chest, Eggsy quietly made his way back downstairs. 

Landon was busy in the kitchen. The air was full of the smell of garlic, which seemed to be radiating from the oven. A pot of water boiled on one burner, while a mixture of meat and tomato sauce bubbled in a pan beside it. The older man looked up the moment Eggsy appeared in the doorway. Once Landon caught a look at the boy's expression he wiped his hands on a white dishcloth and left his post beside the stove. "Is something wrong? I would have thought speaking to Harry would have improved your mood, but you look _ill_."

"He had to go." Eggsy gave a half shrug. He didn't know how to explain any more than that. He'd been starting to get along with Landon, and now didn't know exactly how to say anything. "What are you makin'?" Eggsy finally asked, setting Landon's phone down on the dining table and coming into the kitchen. It smelled very good, subtly spicy, but Eggsy's heart just wasn't in his voice. The sooner Harry was back, the better, and Eggsy didn't like the uneasy feeling that call had given him. It had ended so quickly. 

"Spaghetti with meatballs, although possibly a different sort than you may have had before. Different spices," Landon explained. "And baked bread to go with it. It's a trick I've seen before, slicing it and putting cheese and garlic butter in between the slices before wrapping the loaf in foil and baking it. Lets it melt without it all drying out or burning around the edges."

Eggsy wasn't really listening, and Landon had suspected as much. He'd been anticipating this, even. Now that the excitement of his talk with Harry was over, there was nothing else for the boy to look forward to other than Harry coming home, which wouldn't be happening that night. He was going to be dealing with a sulky, melancholy child for the rest of the evening, and possibly another emotional fit as Eggsy went to bed alone again.

Eggsy was, this time, trying to hide it better than he'd done before, which still wasn't very effective. Eggsy leaned against the counter and picked at the hem of his shirt, but he didn't complain, and that was probably because he'd been getting along better with Landon. He just looked so forlorn. 

Finally Eggsy came up to the stove and tried to look at what Landon was doing. He could have gone to sulk in his room, or picked up his game again, or a book, or even called a friend...if he still had any nearby, which was very unlikely. But instead Eggsy stayed in the kitchen, considered the boiling water, and looked up at Landon.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not with this. Noodles, sauce, and bread is all fairly straightforward and already underway." Landon glanced down at the boy by his side. "You might want to pick out what you want for pudding, however. And we haven't discussed the evening's activities, once your homework is done."

Landon picked up a slotted wooden spoon and began to stir the sauce, which was bubbling enough that it was in danger of starting to spatter. "Did you lose your appetite for another horror movie tonight? There are other options. You just seem despondent, and I've a theory that getting you out of the house for a bit might distract you from the fact that Harry is currently missing from it."

That got Eggsy's attention. "I ain't forgotten about our deal," and he looked like he wanted to make sure Landon knew it, but Eggsy bit his lip and thought about it. "What's there to do outside?" 

Eggsy hadn't actually explored much of the area Harry lived in. Not apart from one or two cafes where Harry had brought him. He rarely even thought about it when he had Harry there to keep him company. Harry who made dinner almost every night, who sat with him on the couch and wrapped Eggsy in his arms, who joked with him and kissed him and let Eggsy talk and act in ways no other adult would. Compared to that, he hadn't really thought about going out to explore. 

"Not much in this neighborhood, at the moment. At least, not for a boy your age," Landon amended. "But there's an event going on only a short ways across town. Indoors, so we don't have to worry about the cold. I'm willing to venture a guess that, while you've maybe seen a few sports matches in person, that you've never seen any fighting competitions. I think it may be something you enjoy. Martial arts competitions are intense and interesting to watch, and there are several varieties. A few people will be testing for new ranks, some will be teams or individuals competing against each other, and there are also specialty weapon demonstrations and sparring."

Eggsy's eyes widened. "Wh--really? We can go see a match?" His eyes widened even more as it sank in and Landon didn't rescind the offer. "That'd be brilliant!" Just as quick as that, the melancholy faded from Eggsy's demeanour, replaced with a joy that lit up his features and was barely contained inside his little body, causing him to rock back onto his heels and grasp the counter top. "What kinda fighting is it? D'ya think we'd get to see anybody knocked out?" 

One thing was for certain, between Harry and Landon, Eggsy was getting spoiled. If one didn't count what had been done to the boy's mother. 

"We'll likely see several matches before we have to come back here." Landon busied himself with transferring the pasta and sauce to plates. He gestured for Eggsy to grab a canister of parmesan cheese out of the refrigerator while he took the bread out of the oven. "Some of the fights have full protective gear, and others don't. Team sparring goes by scored points, like other team sports. One-on-one sparring usually does as well. Weapon and skill demonstrations are interesting and sometimes result in watching a target object get destroyed, and ranking tests consist of the student getting attacked by several people at once, some of whom have prop weapons, and having to successfully neutralize all of them in order to pass."

"That sounds _intense_." Eggsy was hanging on Landon's every word and following him through the short distance to the dining table like the boy was glued to his side. Landon caught a glimpse of what it must be like to be Harry. If Eggsy's excitement was like a ray of sunshine, having it turned upon him all the time could be quite nice. For someone who could handle it. It was a slight miracle, considering who Harry was, that he had managed so far. But then again, Harry was just as infatuated. 

They settled down at the table and Eggsy sprinkled a healthy amount of cheese onto his plate before he dug in. Watching the boy eat spaghetti was...something else altogether. Something Harry would have appreciated immensely. 

"So these fights, they happen a lot, yeah?" Eggsy asked after sucking a noodle into his mouth and licking sauce from the corner. 

It was a wonder that Harry had kept his patience and his hands to himself for as long as he had, considering. Landon watched and, while he wasn't even remotely tempted, he had no difficulties picturing what Harry's long courtship must have been like. "In seasonal circuits. I'm sure some places have regular sparring matches, but some of these displays only happen every few months when the next competition rolls around." 

Landon reached across the table to take the canister once Eggsy relinquished it. "It isn't only adults at these events, either. Teenagers and children have their own competitive brackets, they simply compete at different times."

Landon didn't think it was possible for Eggsy to look more starstruck. Like the boy hadn't anticipated that, even though he'd been in gymnastics himself when he was living with his mother. "I gotta see this. Bruv', if you can fight at the estates, nobody's gonna mess with you. This one kid, Rick, he's so big he don't even have to fight. An' nobody wants to try an' risk it cause if you do, that shite'll haunt you forever. They don't ever let you live it down." But Eggsy had a spark in his eye that told Landon he was imagining it just the same. The boy let his fantasy unwind in his imagination and twirled a heap of noodles onto his fork.

Landon began spearing the noodles on his own plate. The conversation broke off into companionable silence, but one that was significantly more pleasant now that Eggsy had an upbeat attitude. Landon couldn't fathom how Harry had the energy to deal with trying to take care of a child like this and indulge him all the time. Doing so in Harry's place wasn't too terrible, for a short time, but the perks of their relationship had to be significant for Harry to be willing to take on the burden on a permanent basis. Or perhaps, as Landon had sometimes considered, he simply didn't understand relationships of the sort other people seemed to have.

"So you're interested, then. How's your homework? Will you be alright for tomorrow if we head out after dinner?"

"I'll be fine!" Eggsy piped up right away. "I just have a couple worksheets for tomorrow, an' they're almost done anyway." Eggsy ate the last few bites on his plate and then went so far as to clean everything off the table without being prompted. He took his dishes back to the kitchen and put them in the sink, even washed his hands before he came back, nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet. "We're not gonna be late, are we?" Eggsy looked at Landon's cleaned plate like he could make the man hurry through force of will alone. 

"No, we have some time. Go get your coat." Landon rose to bring his own plate to the kitchen. He was already beginning to regret the suggestion, except for the fact that Harry would thank him later and an excited child was far more endurable than a depressed and whining one. Eggsy would be focused on the show instead of on the lack of Harry's presence, which would make things easier for the both of them. Harry would be the one who would have to endure mindless chatter about martial arts for the next few months.

If Eggsy heard him, it didn't sink in. The boy scurried off to the hall to grab his jacket and Landon had the distinct feeling that if he'd been Harry, Eggsy would have grabbed his as well. Eggsy ran to his backpack and fished out something else, not his Game Boy, that was much larger. Whatever it was, Eggsy stuck it in his pocket and zipped it up tight before he came back to the hall. 

"You ready?" Eggsy called after Landon, who very obviously wasn't. 

"Not yet." Landon didn't bother with trying to hurry for Eggsy's sake. The boy would do well to learn a little patience, and he wasn't Harry, to be lovestruck and pampering his youthful partner. He took his time putting his things in order, pocketing what he wanted from his belongings currently being stored in Harry's office, and finally joined Eggsy down by the closet. Eggsy was practically vibrating in impatience.

Landon tugged his own coat on and walked Eggsy out to the car.

For as excited as Eggsy was, he still minded his manners in his own way. Even though Landon knew Eggsy didn't trust him completely, especially not with Harry's secrets, Eggsy didn't let his impatience turn sour. He never raised his tone like he'd done the first day. 

Instead, Landon was treated at length to a tale of every fight Eggsy had ever witnessed among the children of the estates, and when he ran out, every tale Eggsy had ever heard of. Needless to say, it went on for quite a while, long enough that it wasn't until they were nearing the inner city, when Landon pointed ahead to show Eggsy the gym they were looking for, that Eggsy finally quieted out of sheer awe and anticipation. 

Landon parked and walked them up to the entrance. A few adults were already there behind a table, and Landon paid for spectator tickets for himself and Eggsy. They went up a set of stairs and emerged out onto a balcony with an incredible view of the main platform that was sectioned off for the competition. People were already down on the platform, although they weren't fighting anyone else, simply showing off several different moves. Screens displayed the names and rankings of who was on stage, and a schedule of what events were upcoming and which rooms the events were in. For their own room, single competitors against groups were up next in a few minutes.

Eggsy was on the edge of his seat the moment they sat down. He glanced at the display for only a second before his attention was consumed by the fighters warming up below. 

"Are those guys the ones competing?" Eggsy asked. "Who d'you think's gonna win?" It didn't occur to him that Landon would likely have no experience in this area. Landon had brought him here and he was an adult and maybe was even an enthusiast or something, and that was enough for Eggsy. It helped too that he gave off far less of the posh impression that Harry did. 

"A lot of that is going to depend on which school the competitors are from. Each has their own strengths and weaknesses," Landon explained. "Although a great deal is going to rest on individual skill and the state of each competitor tonight. Rather than trying to guess, I would suggest that you just observe for a while. Watch what patterns and techniques do well, versus the ones that do not. A few are going to be demonstrating weapons, as well. My favorite rounds to watch are the ones where a competitor has to neutralize several opponents who all have weapons while they start empty-handed."

"That sounds _really_ hard," Eggsy admitted, eyes still as wide as ever as he watched the men below while the audience gathered into the seats around them. To Eggsy's fortune, the seats in front of them were left open and he wasn't forced to try to peer over anyone's heads. The way he was half draped over the back of that seat might have had something to do with it, but Eggsy was completely oblivious to such things. Not even the stand selling candy and popcorn drew his attention as the lights finally dimmed over the crowd and brightened on the arena. 

The fighters moved off the platform and the main display was cleared as an announcer stepped up to take their place. 

Each person's name, school, style, and rank was announced before the fight, and then they appeared in front of a table on the floor below. Each person bowed to the people seated behind it, who must have been judges.

When they straightened, backed up, and faced each other, the action began.

Landon smiled at the little gasp Eggsy gave as the first two fighters ripped into one another, fainting and dodging and blocking, whipping limbs towards vulnerable spots sheathed in foam padding. That protection didn't stop particularly vicious blows from knocking people off of their feet. The first round went to a fighter who was much shorter and slighter in appearance than his adversary, who nonetheless knocked him right off of his feet and out of the ring with a series of clever kicks.

" _Whoa,_ " Eggsy breathed. "Does that happen a lot? The shorter bloke can beat the others?" He looked back to Landon for a split second before his attention was drawn back to the ring, specifically on that round's winner. Eggsy's eyes tracked him through the crowd as he went to meet with another man who must have been his coach. Eggsy kept watching as he was provided some water and a towel and Landon could see the gears clicking in the boy's mind. 

Eggsy was small for his age. He was athletic, but he probably wouldn't grow to be as tall as Harry. The more Eggsy watched the more a spark began to light in his gaze. 

"Height and weight lend some advantages, but it's not a certain thing. Cleverness and skill can bring victory even if genetics happen to be stacked against you." Another batch of competitors stepped forward, this time one person going up against a group of opponents. Some of them had wooden knives, while others had replica guns. Landon watched Eggsy while the fight below started and unfolded, noting the way the boy's frame tensed with excitement and leaned forward. "With the right training, all sorts of possibilities open up."

The more Eggsy watched, the more enthralled he became. Match after match provided something new. At first Eggsy wasn't very good at predicting who would win, but Landon, reading the background of each fighter, explained more and more. Unexpected wins didn't happen very often, but when they did, Eggsy seemed to enjoy those the most. 

By the last few matches, Eggsy had only gotten marginally better at thinking about each fighter's skill and background and guessing who would come out on top, but half his problem amounted to nothing more than irrational optimism. 

Eggsy was too excited to be feeling tired, and so it was up to Landon to watch the time and tug on Eggsy's sleeve when it was time to go. The competition wasn't done, but it wouldn't be for some time - there were a couple of hours yet, and more that stretched on into programming the next day. Eggsy made a bit of a fuss, but he came, even if he complained about it. They walked back out to the car in gloom broken only by streetlights and the omnipresent light pollution of London. Eggsy chattered the entire time about the matches, and Landon dutifully ignored him, thinking instead about Harry and the work he'd be doing once Eggsy went to bed.

Once they were back home and shedding their coats in the doorway, Eggsy stepped down the hall with fists clenched, practising swings and kicks, backing an imaginary opponent down to the living room where he finally tackled the imaginary being onto the couch. A heartbeat later he stood and went through the whole routine again while Landon looked on in tired amusement. 

At Landon's prompting, Eggsy made his way up the stairs to get ready for bed, but not without another imaginary battle along the way. 

Landon let him get on with it at his own pace. A check on his cell phone showed nothing amiss. No emergencies, but that didn't mean that new work might not be lying in wait for him in his inbox. Landon made a detour to the kitchen to pilfer a bottle of scotch from Harry's pantry and then ascended the stairs.

Thankfully, Eggsy was actually doing what he was supposed to be doing, at least from what Landon could hear. The light in the bathroom was on, and he could faintly hear the sound of running water in the sink. Landon took a moment to walk to Eggsy's doorway and glance into the bedroom. As he'd suspected, at some point at least one of the photo albums had migrated when he'd been distracted elsewhere. He could see a corner just barely visible underneath Eggsy's bed, mostly hidden by the edge of the duvet.

With that in mind, it wasn't too surprising when Eggsy left the bathroom and headed to his bedroom, calling a hasty "Goodnight!" to Landon before he shut the door behind himself. 

Sounds of Eggsy opening the dresser drawers announced him changing into his pyjamas, and, as Landon settled down at Harry's desk with his drink and his laptop, a few clicks of the mouse showed him that was exactly what Eggsy was doing. Curiously though, the boy fished something out of his trouser pocket and held it tight to his chest before he grabbed the hidden album as well and climbed up onto the bed.  
Eggsy nestled into the covers and laid the book beside him. He took out the other item, the one he'd been holding so carefully, and with his sleeve he rubbed it slowly. 

Landon had to switch to another camera before he caught a glimpse of what it was Eggsy held in his hand. It was the soft, yellow gleam in the lamplight that gave it away. 

Landon nearly choked on his pilfered scotch. Eggsy was curled around a piece of Kingsman equipment. Not just _any_ equipment, either - the piece of gold jewelry was recognizable as one of the standard issue watches that came equipped with amnesia darts and could, in fact, be upgraded to something more severe, or hook into other weapons from the arsenal. Eggsy had been carrying it around with him all night, and possibly during the previous day as well. He could only have gotten the watch from Harry, and Landon doubted that Harry would be careless and smitten enough to fail to notice if Eggsy had stolen the watch.

It had to have been given to the boy. A boy who likely didn't know how dangerous the watch in his hands could be.

Eggsy was careful with it. The way he traced his fingers lightly over its surface said that much. He even avoided the dials on the side, which brought another bout of suspicion to Landon's mind. Divining what Harry had and hadn't told him about the timepiece was only going to make his blood boil. 

Eggsy set it down on the night stand and picked up the photo album instead, flipping through page after page until he got to the one he wanted. It wasn't difficult to guess which one that was. Even with so many of Harry in relaxed or suggestive positions, none were quite as tantalising as the one from that early mission. 

The way Eggsy looked at that, too, was enough to give Landon a great deal of data about how things were progressing between the boy and Harry. Eggsy had the complete unselfconsciousness of someone who thought they were unobserved and wasn't burdened with shame. The boy was leaning against one arm, the other trailing underneath the covers in a way that was familiar to anyone who'd dealt with youth just discovering their sex drive. Eggsy glanced at the doorway every now and then, alert for any sounds that Landon was going to check on him, but mostly uncaring of the danger of being discovered.

Eggsy clutched the book tight with one hand. He even rolled onto his side to get a better angle, and get closer. The way he spread himself out like that, he was definitely imagining Harry in the room with him. 

How strange it must be, to be this young boy. As easily as a magician freeing a tablecloth from under a set of glassware, Harry had pulled Eggsy's life out from under him and replaced it without him being the wiser. And now he was so gone for Harry. Even reminded of Harry's age, upon discovery of photos such as this, Eggsy was not deterred from his infatuation. It was almost artistry, what Harry was doing. 

Which was exactly one of the reasons Landon liked Harry, and had picked him to assist in his own hobbies. Harry had a talent. He was a master at these sorts of illusion and manipulation games, able to charm whoever crossed his path or orchestrate a series of events to neutralize them. Eggsy was going along willingly, but the boy never stood a chance. Something about all of this had a feeling of the inevitable. What was more surprising to Landon was that Harry seemed to be falling for Eggsy just as much as Eggsy was falling for him, entrapped where he may have only been imagining a temporary involvement in Eggsy's life.

That could prove worrisome, in time. In spite of Harry's talent, his resolve, and all the resources at his fingertips, the odds were stacked against him. As anyone Landon's age--and Harry's--knew, time changed all things. He was going to have to speak to Harry about backup plans at some point. Some point soon. 

On the monitor screen, Eggsy bent his head, just inches away from the photo now. His small lips parted and his hand jerked underneath the blankets, his hips along with it, until he squeezed his eyes shut and stilled with a soft gasp. 

A small thrill rippled through Landon at that, although it had nothing to do with Eggsy, really. Harry's vice was just as potentially dangerous as other Kingsman agents, but more thrilling due to the novelty of it and just how long he'd hidden his predilections from everyone else, Landon included. It felt like a privilege to watch Harry's artistry and observe as his friend and the boy tangled into one another and began to sink. The difference was that, while Landon occasionally bestirred himself to avert repercussions for other agents out of duty and organizational solidarity, he was more motivated to protect Harry out of the simple fact that he _liked_ Harry.

And Landon did not tend to like anyone. That in itself gave him something to ponder, along with the memory of how he'd allowed Harry to get close enough to observe his own vices and a portion of the aftermath.

Not only observe, but participate. Even if, like Landon now, Harry had not gotten precisely the same enjoyment out of it, Harry had not rejected him for it by any degree. Harry rarely judged anyone involved in the missions he was sent on apart from a professional or instinctual assessment. This was far more personal and yet Harry did the same. More than, even. Because Harry had enjoyed it in a way. He'd enjoyed being let in to Merlin's little world. He'd enjoyed being Merlin's hands and his voice, his tool. Harry had enjoyed using his skills to such an end, even if Harry had not gotten much out of the murder itself. 

That kind of showing off was telling. Harry _liked_ Merlin as well. 

After a minute to catch his breath, Eggsy leaned over and pushed the photo album back underneath the bed. He left the watch there on the night stand, stroking his fingers over it once before he reached and turned out the lamp. 

Landon watched the dark panel of the camera feed, tapping the button that switched the camera to night vision. He watched Eggsy's small body slide lower into the bed, settling and adjusting the sheets until he went still.

Landon's decision, in retrospect, had already been made. He'd already known it when he'd let Harry force him into babysitting his charge with minimal fuss and objections, and when he'd been kinder to the boy than was necessary in order to get Eggsy to _like_ him as well as trust him. He'd known it when he'd started to test Eggsy's responses to dangerous questions and sounding out how much of a weakness the boy was. This relationship that Harry was building had a very good chance of ending badly, and Landon was going to be there, and instead of watching Harry go down in flames as he had, with great delight, observed with so many others, Landon was going to yank him back to safety.

Undoubtedly, he'd also have to deal with Harry's broken heart, but it would be an annoyance that was acceptable. Landon didn't tend to acquire friends, but now that he had one, he had no intention of losing him.

* * *

Eggsy slept in late the next morning, but as soon as he was awake, he was up. 

It was the sound of his footsteps in the hall and then the shower as the boy took over the bathroom again that alerted Landon to his presence. Eggsy showered and dressed almost as quickly as he'd awoke. Then he slipped downstairs on nearly silent feet before he came back up again. He must have realised Landon would notice the album missing if he left it in his room. Not bad on foresight, but still Eggsy was transparent. 

Eggsy noted the door to Harry's room was ajar and so went to the office instead, tentatively poking his head inside before he thought to knock. 

Landon was already at work on his laptop, although the moment he'd heard Eggsy up and about he'd switched the screens over to accounting programs. Posing as Kingsman Tailoring's financial expert served as an excellent cover while also discouraging Eggsy from wanting to ask questions or peek at his work; small boys didn't find dry accounting documents to be very interesting.

Landon turned as the office door creaked open just a bit more and caught a glimpse of Eggsy. "Ah, you're up. And enjoyed a great many dreams about becoming a competition-winning fighter, no doubt. How do you feel about breakfast?"

"Mm, _yes_ please." Eggsy looked to be in a good mood that morning, and there was no question why. Harry would be home sometime before the day was through. Eggsy turned and bounded down the stairs to the living room while Landon was left to close up his work and follow.

By the time he reached the downstairs, Eggsy had the telly on and was watching some cartoon show, but he seemed very easily distractible. He leaned over the edge of the couch and called to Landon. "So what's for breakfast?"

"Let me see what Harry's left us to work with," Landon called back as he disappeared through the kitchen doorway. A few moments later he ducked around the corner. "If you're amenable to it, you can come assist me with preparing ingredients for omelets. It's not difficult, and if you find yourself on your own and having to cook breakfast, it's useful to know more than how to heat instant meals and prepare sandwiches. Perhaps you could even surprise Harry with breakfast some morning."

"Yeah that'll happen." But Eggsy turned off the telly and jumped down from the couch anyway. From what Landon saw of Eggsy, it wasn't hard to imagine the boy _would_ try to cook for Harry as a treat someday. However, the outcome of such an effort would be somewhat uncertain. Eggsy probably didn't think of himself as much of a cook yet, either. Still, he stepped into the kitchen curious and willing as Landon went through the refrigerator for ingredients. "Just eggs and vegetables, right?" Eggsy asked as he looked over the frying pan on the stove top.

"Not necessarily. There's different types of cheese. If you cook it before trying to add it, there's also gammon and sausage and bacon. Although it appears we only have bacon and cheddar at our disposal." Landon beckoned Eggsy over to the fridge and waited until the boy was at his side. "Is there anything you won't eat, as far as vegetables are concerned?"

Eggsy tilted his head back and considered Landon. "I dunno. Most of 'em?" he said with a trace of optimism. When all Landon gave him in return was a level stare, Eggsy shrugged. "The green peppers are okay, I 'spose. An' mushrooms. I like those. Jus' nothin' weird, ok?" Landon looked quite put-upon as he got out the ingredients Eggsy requested, but at least there were some vegetables in the mix. Eggsy got out of his way as he spread it all out over the counter top. 

After some internal debate, Landon decided to trust Eggsy with a kitchen knife - closely supervised. They sorted and washed the vegetables together, and then Landon got out two chopping boards and showed Eggsy how to cut the ingredients safely and easily. With two pairs of hands instead of just one, preparation went much more quickly, even with Eggsy being a bit slower due to lack of practice.

Landon was having Eggsy crack eggs into a bowl when his cell phone chimed. Landon excused himself after warning Eggsy not to horse around with any of the knives and went into the den for a few minutes.

As soon as he was out of immediate earshot down the hall, he pressed the receiver to his ear. 

"Are you alone?" came Harry's voice. He went on after a quiet affirmative. "Something's come up I'm afraid. There's been a theft at the American CDC. Someone's made off with highly dangerous materials and they suspect these individuals are about to pass it off to the highest bidder very soon. I was pulled off the plane the moment I landed. Merlin, I'm very sorry, but it doesn't look like I'll be making it home tonight."

"Shite." Merlin didn't bother apologizing for his language; he'd been looking forward to handing Eggsy off to Harry and washing his hands of the situation for a while. Now he had to babysit what was soon to be a distressed and bratty child for an indeterminate amount of time while worrying about Harry's well-being. "Who's your handler? Tell me you _have_ one. Materials like that are nothing to take lightly."

"Daphne. She's been briefed on the situation more than I have, honestly, and time is of the essence." Merlin heard what Harry wasn't saying. They'd have pulled him if he wasn't indisposed and off base. A job like that was Merlin's territory through and through. "I need to go," Harry warned. "You'll tell him?" 

It was a bit cold, but Harry had his priorities. There was nothing he should be concerned about just then but his focus on the mission, and yet. For all that Harry didn't say with his brusque tone, Merlin got the feeling he'd have liked to say more. They both knew how it was though. 

"I will. Do you have an estimation on when matters will be resolved?" Merlin could concoct a story without breaking a sweat, but both of them knew that Eggsy would be upset. Giving the boy an endpoint for his worries and unhappiness would go a long ways towards minimizing what Merlin would have to deal with. Having to stay on longer also threw wrenches into Merlin's own plans; he'd been looking forward to having a bit of solitude and working towards his next side project.

"If it's not over in a day or two then we've got bigger problems than the one in my guest room," Harry said and Merlin could just see the dry frown upon his face. The truth was that if it went that way, Harry would not have much say in the matter. He'd be out for however long Kingsman needed him. And this was why most of the other agents with families had someone else to take care of them, a wife, a nanny...anyone. 

Merlin heard something clang in the kitchen, followed by Eggsy's nervous voice down the hall. "S'alright. I got it!"

"Alright. I'll take care of things. Give me an update when you can and it's wise to do so." Merlin hung up. There was nothing else to be said, and Harry didn't need distractions right then. He'd have the luxury of considering Eggsy once the mission was done, and not before.

Which meant that Eggsy was now his burden. Merlin felt a bit of that weight with each step he took back towards the kitchen. The boy came into view, just starting to experiment with the whisk Landon had laid out on the countertop, mostly just poking at the eggs in the bowl instead of beating them together. Eggsy turned at the sound of footsteps and something of Landon's solemnity must have been readily apparent, as Eggsy's mood rapidly and visibly plummeted.

"That was Harry. He wasn't able to talk for long before the signal cut out. There have been some complications, and he's going to be delayed by a day, perhaps two," Landon explained.

The whisk dropped from Eggsy's hands back into the bowl. "But...." Eggsy's brows furrowed and his face crumpled. "He was supposed to come back _today_." His voice grew louder, like hearing himself only gave fuel to the turbulence inside him. "Why _can't_ he come back today?" Eggsy looked so unhappy, caught between anger and a rapidly escalating despair. "Is he here? Is he just down at the shop? How'd he not _know_ somethin'd jus' _come up_?" Eggsy took two steps toward Landon like he could threaten him with anger that had nowhere else to go. 

"He's not here. The plane had trouble and deviated from the schedule. Harry's fine, and he's safe, but communication is patchy. He's more concerned with getting the transportation problems resolved at the moment, for himself and any of the textiles that may have had similar problems." Landon watched Eggsy approach and was torn between the impulse to laugh at such an impotent attempt at a threat, and anger that Eggsy had thought to try to vent upon him at all. "I want him back home just as much as you do, and I was counting on him being back today. Now that's scuttled, but there's nothing to be done about it but to cope. Shouting at me isn't going to get Harry here any quicker."

Eggsy's head lowered but his posture didn't relax. Landon had nearly had him coming around there, for just a second Eggsy felt guilty for lashing out at him, but Eggsy wasn't ready to calm down either. "I just want Harry to come home," Eggsy bit out, not caring that he sounded petulant, not caring that he referred to this place as home, not caring if he was being spiteful to Landon for no reason when they'd been getting along so well. Another day, even _two_ , without Harry seemed like an eternity, and Eggsy felt cheated. Realistically he couldn't blame Landon, and he couldn't even blame Harry, but none of that helped at all. 

"And he will." Keeping the exasperation out of his voice was difficult, but Landon managed. Barely. Eggsy was acting the brat, but Landon knew a bit about the boy's old life. Missing Harry was only part of it. Eggsy had unresolved fears about abandonment and losing his loved ones. "This isn't exactly unusual, in our line of work, particularly on trips overseas. Technology malfunctions, weather changes, political situations come up, or clients change their mind. Harry's never been delayed longer than a couple of days."

Eggsy's head hung even lower. His shoulders slumped and all the anger drained out of him. He tried to hold back the way it upset him, tried not to bow under the weight of irrational sorrow and hold onto that anger instead, but there was no stopping it. Eggsy sniffled and Landon was brought back to that first night without Harry when Eggsy had cried as he laid in bed, alone. Eggsy was doing a better job of keeping the tears at bay for the moment, but there was no telling how long it would last. He swiped the back of his sleeve over his nose and nodded, mouth shut tight, trying to be strong.

Someone else might have tried to embrace Eggsy and console him. Landon merely stared. He was used to adults who were in control of their emotions and could cope, or potential recruits who knew that they had to be strong or else risk flunking out of their chance at employment. Eggsy was only a boy, and Harry's lover besides, and Landon had no idea how to react to that.


	14. Chapter 14

Landon decided to respond to Eggsy’s grievous disappointment by cooking. He picked up the bowl that Eggsy had abandoned and began to whisk the eggs, blank-faced all the while as he thought. "There's nothing to be done about it right now. As much as Harry's absence ruins weekend plans for the both of us... I suggest we make the most of it. Sulking about in the house will only make things worse. You'll spend your time worrying about Harry and angry that he isn't here. I'd rather that we pursue a different avenue, instead of dwelling on that disappointment."

"Can't jus' turn it off like that," Eggsy mumbled after another sniff. He took a few steps toward the counter to see what Landon was doing, but it was plain that Eggsy didn't want to help any longer. The way Eggsy was worrying his lip, he looked like he barely even wanted to be in the room. But something prevented him going off on his own to wallow in sorrow, and Landon strongly suspected that it was a sudden bout of loneliness, strong enough that even Landon's company was better than nothing. Eggsy pressed his back into the counter and watched with sad eyes as he worked. 

Landon glanced up at him for a moment before tipping the bowl and pouring a bit of the egg mixture into the pan. It immediately began to sizzle. Landon went to gather up the chopped vegetables in the meantime. "You can't right now, perhaps. With practice, you eventually can. Sometimes you don't have the option of taking time to indulge your own feelings, because if you do, your inaction will cause worse things to happen. It's a skill you can develop, but you're very young."

After another glance at Eggsy's sorrowful demeanor, Landon fixed his eyes on the pan. "I won't berate you if you want to mourn, but I think you'll feel worse for it, particularly when Harry returns and you start to feel like you wasted the weekend. You won't feel quite so terrible if we find something else for you to do to take your mind off of things."

Eggsy lifted his gaze and peered at Landon with such a scrutinising look that he thought the boy might have been trying to discern whether there was more to his warning. Gradually, Eggsy seemed to calm a little if only by sheer force of will on the knowledge that he might be giving away too much of his attachment to Harry. 

"What else could we do?" Eggsy asked, his voice still quiet. 

"Anything. Get out of the house. Visit a museum, or a park, or something similar." Landon dumped a few of the veggies into the center of the omelette with a wooden spoon and began to pay more attention to the pan, watching the contents carefully and folding cooked egg over. "I don't know what sorts of things you're interested in, so you'll have to enlighten me. This might be a good opportunity for the two of us to get to know one another, considering that Harry does have regular work trips and that he will probably ask me to watch you every time he has to go abroad."

Eggsy sighed and picked at his fingernails. He shrugged, not looking interested in the idea of talking about himself in the least. "Could see a film maybe?" He clearly knew that wasn't what Landon had in mind by getting to know one another. "I go to Southbank sometimes, but that's jus' with my mates. Dunno what they'd think if I took you. Go to shoppin' malls sometimes, too, but don't usually buy nothin'." Eggsy looked lost in thought for a moment, perhaps thinking of places Harry took him, but he settled on none of them. It wouldn't be the same without Harry. 

Landon considered for a moment. One omelette was folded over and deposited on a plate, and he started another. Silence stretched on between them until Landon cleared his throat. "Harry told me your father was in the forces, just as he was. I wonder if you'd have an interest in learning how to shoot. On a proper range, mind. I do a bit of teaching now and then." 

Eggsy blinked and looked up at him. After a second of silence and Landon didn't take it back, Eggsy's mouth fell open. "I... Wha... My mum, she.... I mean." Eggsy stopped himself before he stumbled over his tongue even more, but he met Landon's eyes then and the sorrow he'd been carrying was almost completely replaced with disbelief. "Mum never let me do nothin' like that. Said it was cause of how my dad died. But. You'd let me? If I wanted to?" The subtle dawn of hope tinted Eggsy's voice. Landon caught it in the darting of the boy's eyes, uncertain but with a curiosity, an _eagerness_ , that laid underneath. 

"It's understandable why your mother would have had a negative opinion," Landon began. He finished up the second omelette and slid it onto a plate, then gestured for Eggsy to take the other and walk with him to the dining room table. "Likely because she feared that you would enjoy it so much that you would enlist and she would have to fear losing you. It's an expensive sport, besides. But I would be willing to teach you, and I'm certain Harry wouldn't mind. We can show him your score cards when he gets back."

Eggsy slid into his seat and sat for a moment in stunned silence. "That'd be awesome. Like _really_ awesome." He was looking at Landon now like he'd shown another side of himself completely, one that Eggsy found worthy of awe, judging by the expression on his face. It was a much improved look from the way he'd been shut off before. Apparently Eggsy hadn't thought to read more into Landon's hobbies after a visit to the mixed martial arts competition and now he might be re-evaluating his ideas on Landon a bit. 

Eggsy picked up his fork and began to eat, but then he glanced up again and didn't try to hold back another question. 

"Were you....in the forces, too?"

"Yes. Although, I wasn't in the same division. I was in the Royal Air Force, instead, but I was active duty around the same time that Harry was, and met him through the service." Landon cut his omelette into neat squares. His gaze was averted, but the majority of his focus was on Eggsy, watching the boy out of the corner of his eye. "I did know your father, as well, but only briefly."

Eggsy froze. His eyes went straight to Landon and his fork clanked against his plate. "Y-you did? How?" If Eggsy had been startled before, it was nothing compared to now. His whole body was rigid in his seat, like if he dared to move he might break this dream he'd fallen into. Landon knew Harry had told him they'd been friends, not just through the tailor shop, but this was a possibility Eggsy hadn't anticipated at all.

"Each branch of the forces isn't completely isolated from one another. Particularly when not on active assignment. Servicemen sometimes trained together, or were invited to the same social event. I happened to meet Harry earlier, and he introduced me to your father." Landon pushed a piece of omelette onto his fork. Eggsy was staring, and so he met the boy's gaze. "I didn't know him for very long. He died on assignment shortly after. Harry came back, we became better friends, and we went into business together."

Eggsy sat back in his seat, breakfast completely forgotten. "D'you...." he seemed a little shy about asking after Landon had told him several times how little he actually knew of Eggsy's father, "remember what he was like? I mean, I remember a lotta' things. An' mum an' Harry have told me how they remember him, but y'know.... Most people don't talk about it." Eggsy pushed a bit of egg over on his plate, but he kept glancing up at Landon. 

Landon took a bite of his omelette and considered the question. He actually remembered quite a lot about Eggsy's sire, but little of those memories could be openly shared with a boy who wasn't a Kingsman agent and was a significant security risk. "He was... very striking in appearance, despite not having unusual features. Mostly it was presence. He had a sense of ease and confidence, and he didn't notice or care about differences in background regarding other members in the service. He wasn't easy to intimidate. He had a boldness that sometimes made him reckless, but it was that same trait that saved Harry's life, and that of the rest of his squad."

Landon took a sip of the coffee he'd brought out with his plate and gave Eggsy a hint of a smile. "He also showed a lot of promise as a marksman."

In return, Eggsy's face split into a small grin. Finally, he picked up his fork and began to eat again. A touch of cheek entered his smile. "That why you're takin' me to the range? Think I can be just like my dad?" Eggsy seemed to like the idea. He ate over half his omelet in just a few big bites and didn't stop grinning all the way through. Landon might have accidentally given him a cocky disposition before they'd even started. At least the boy was no longer thinking of Harry. 

"I want to see if you _exceed_ your father's potential. You're young, but it's best to get an idea about your aptitudes and what sort of career you're interested in relatively early. Making decisions at the last minute, and not really knowing what you enjoy, is not the best way to go about things." Harry hadn't said as much, but Landon was making a calculated guess. If Harry was intent on keeping Eggsy for more than a few tender years, the boy would have to be assessed for placement somewhere in the Kingsman organization, even if only as a low level menial worker.

Eggsy's fork stopped on the way to his mouth. He raised his small brows at Landon. "You serious, mate? I'm _nine_. I got no clue what I'm gonna do. I mean, it'd be real cool to do what my dad did, or somethin' like it, but I dunno." Eggsy's tooth hooked over the corner of his mouth and he looked like he was really thinking about it. That was how Landon knew he'd thought about it before, probably more than once. Military service was not an uncommon profession for young boys to play at, but for Eggsy, it would hold special meaning. The boy shrugged like it meant nothing after another moment. "You're not gonna get on my case about all that now, are you?"

"No. You're too young to make a decision about that yet, regardless of what you choose later. It's more a matter of finding what you enjoy, at this point. The education system doesn't do a very decent job at presenting the available options and letting people explore, particularly if you're not in a public school." Landon grimaced. The jab of his fork into the next bit of omelette was particularly vicious. "Which means that opportunities have to present themselves outside of school time. This is an opportunity to see if you enjoy marksmanship, and you have a number of years to decide if you like it enough to pursue it as a career or as a hobby."

Eggsy pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah alright." 

Landon hadn't missed the way Eggsy scowled at his mention of not attending public school, but this time the boy didn't rise to argue. Likely, he was quite set on being able to go and for that he needed to be on somewhat decent terms with Landon. If this went well, he could have a more or less respectful Eggsy who wasn't moping about over his absent lover all day. If Eggsy caught onto that plan, he was going with it. 

"So where is this range, anyhow?" Eggsy asked. "And what are we gonna be shooting?"

"Marylebone Rifle and Pistol Club. It's not far, and it has a gallery range for smaller, lighter firearms. You're a bit too young yet for some of the heavier rifles," Landon commented. "Gallery ranges aren't as exciting as moving clay pigeons, but given that this is your first time, it should be exciting enough. Firearms are heavier than you think, and you'll likely feel tired from the weight and recoil before you want to stop for the day."

Eggsy looked like it was starting to sink in. It was in his eyes, that slightly starry look he got when he was sometimes thinking about Harry. He finished the rest of his breakfast quickly, gulped down his juice, and by the time he was done even Landon couldn't ignore how fidgety Eggsy had become. He had Eggsy clean up his plate and find his coat. 

Eggsy ran up to his room, but Landon made him leave his hat behind. It would only get in the way of the protective gear. Thankfully, Eggsy left the watch on his bedside table. 

Landon guided him to the car and glanced over to ensure that the boy was properly buckled in before he pulled out onto the street. His mind wasn't on his small charge so much as it was on the work he'd have to make up. The next few hours would tell if Eggsy was a good pupil or not. Landon enjoyed teaching so long as his students actually were willing and paying attention, but with how young Eggsy was, he wasn't counting on it being anything but an exercise in frustration. And the fact that afterwards, he would have backlogged work to slog through once the boy went off to keep himself entertained or turned in for the night.

Eggsy's anticipation was keeping him in check for now. The boy followed their progress with an attentive gaze out the window. He was perhaps a little nervous as he was much quieter on that car ride than he'd been for the last, but once Landon let him know they were getting close, Eggsy perked up and the questions began to flow. 

It was right in the city proper, not out among the fields like Eggsy might have expected, and he looked a little surprised when they finally arrived just south of the river. His nervousness showed not in his step or his posture, but the way he kept a little closer to Landon's side as they made their way in.

Landon walked as if he was very familiar with the place, although none of the staff greeted him like he was a regular. They stopped at the front desk, where Landon flashed his ID and membership card, and the clerk behind the desk smiled kindly at Eggsy. They were led into a side storeroom where Landon and the clerk began sizing up what rental gear would be suitable for Eggsy. The boy didn't understand some of what was being said, with talk of different gun models and ammunition types. Landon won the debate. The clerk shrugged and gave up, handing over the ear protectors, ammunition boxes, pistol, and replacement targets for their assigned range.

Landon thanked him, and it was up to Eggsy to follow him. The interior of the building was surprisingly grey and bare, solid mason work with florescent lighting. They descended into the lower levels of the building and began to hear the sounds of gun fire from other ranges. Landon ignored them and walked them down the row until they reached the one that they had been assigned.

Eggsy couldn't look everywhere fast enough even though there wasn't much to see besides to booths. They were all fairly closed off from each other, and Eggsy couldn't really see inside, but the shots were loud.

The first thing Landon did when they entered was turn around and hand Eggsy a pair of glasses and earmuffs, both were nearly too large on him. Landon took a pair for himself and seemed right at home doing so. 

"This like a hobby for you or summat?" Eggsy asked.

"Yes. I enjoy keeping my skills sharp, even if I'm not using them in the field anymore," Landon replied. "And I do enjoy a spot of teaching now and then. Some students aren't worth the trouble, but the ones who are... well. There's nothing quite like passing the hobby on, particularly if your students go on to enter the forces."

Landon shrugged and went off to set up the target papers they'd been given at the other side of the range. "Stay put. I'll walk you through basic safety protocols and features, and then we'll start the lesson."

Eggsy looked a little intimidated at that. He watched as Landon walked down to the far side of the range, set up their targets, and then came back, stride confident even though he was right where the line of fire would soon be. 

Eggsy wiped his hands on his trousers and glanced the boxes that lay on the table, one containing ammo, the other containing the pistol he'd be using. Landon had to wonder if he'd be this nervous if Harry were giving the lesson. Eggsy did his best to hide it though. He didn't shy away when Landon returned and he didn't bring it up. He just looked to Landon like he was indeed Eggsy's teacher. 

"First things first. I know you've seen plenty of guns used in movies. How they use them is much more sloppy and careless than how they're actually used." Landon picked up the pistol and tilted it, detailing all the basic functioning parts that Eggsy would need to know. Eggsy was cautioned about how and where to point the gun when he wasn't shooting, how to turn the safety on and off, and how to eject a spent magazine and switch it out for a new one.

When Landon finally handed the gun over, minus ammunition, Eggsy's face must have shown his disbelief. Landon chuckled. "Yes, it's a bit heavier than you thought, isn't it? The weight is going to be a factor in how well you shoot. You'll have to hold it out and steady for longer periods of time, and deal with the recoil, which is why you'll need to use two hands instead of one. It helps to have the right stance, as well."

Eggsy nodded and moved where Landon showed him, keeping the gun aimed away just like he had said. Landon placed him in line with the target and showed him how to bring the gun up, how to space his feet and find a comfortable stance. He moved Eggsy's hands and arms with a keen eye and told Eggsy to look down the sight and match the notches together in front of the target. 

Eggsy went with it all very easily, letting himself be moved and follow instruction almost without thinking. Landon knew his nervousness hadn't vanished that quickly, but it appeared Eggsy wasn't going to prematurely cave under the pressure. He could also tell the boy was growing more excited. Enough that it would soon balance out his trepidation. It showed in his face when he glanced back at Landon with the hint of a smile while after Landon told him about the kickback, how the gun would feel like it was jumping in his hand. 

"Think I'm ready?" Eggsy asked when Landon stepped back to look him over. 

"Yes. Try not to blink or jump when the gun goes off. The protection muffles things a little, but it will still be loud enough that new shooters get startled, even when they expect it." Landon moved until he was at a good angle to watch the boy's physical reactions and the gun. "Just relax as much as you can and do your best. Don't be discouraged if you shoot poorly or miss a lot during this first session. Everyone does when they're first starting. This isn't a competition, and you're not in real training. Alright?"

"Right." Eggsy fixed his headgear, took his stance again, and held the gun up. Landon could tell he was being watched out of the corner of Eggsy's eye up until that point, but then Eggsy's attention switched to his hands and the sight and the target on the far wall. 

Seconds passed while Eggsy got himself ready. He was very still. Very focused. And then the shot rang out through the room. Eggsy rocked back a little with the force of it, but his stance remained strong and he didn't jump. They had no idea whether he'd hit the target or not, but he looked back to Landon and Landon gave him a nod to go on, and Eggsy did. 

Five shots later and Eggsy got a little more comfortable with the way the gun moved. He hadn't lost his good posture. 

The boy's aim still wavered a little, but it wasn't bad for his first time. He wasn't quite seeing how to assess his shots and adjust yet, but that would come with time and practice. Landon moved slowly to make sure Eggsy noticed him in the corner of his vision. By the time he was in reach, Eggsy had paused and glanced at him.

"Your aim is a little off. Might be too far for you to spot it yet, but you're consistently high and to the left." Landon stepped behind Eggsy and had to awkward crouch in order to try to guess how the boy was looking down the sight. He touched a hand to Eggsy's arm and moved it slightly. "Try that now."

Eggsy nodded once, moved into the touch without hesitation. It was strange how he trusted Landon now. No one was this comfortable with him when he was Merlin. No recruit ever needed their sight checked like Eggsy did, and Merlin never had to get in anyone's personal space outside of a fight. The last person he'd been physically close to was, fittingly enough, Harry. And yet Eggsy didn't seem to mind at all, not like he would have if things had been as they had when he'd first met Landon. 

Eggsy tilted his head just so, looked down the sight, and took a shot. 

The aim was better. Not fantastic, but a marked improvement. Landon nodded and stepped back to let Eggsy finish off the magazine, then signalled for them to pause before the next round, all while trying not to think about Harry and how convoluted the situation had gotten between the three of them.

This arrangement with Harry was never supposed to be like this. Landon had only wanted to indulge his curiosity and personal interests, add to his hoarded information on each Kingsman agent, and acquire a pair of hands to assist him in his side hobby. Letting Harry get so close hadn't been part of his original plan. Neither had been taking care of his young charge. Landon still didn't care for children, but Eggsy was growing on him.

Landon shook his head to clear it. "That was better, but I think we need to check your eyes to figure out how you look down the sight. People have dominant eyes, just like their hands. Give me a moment." The older man dug out one of the extra target sheets and a pen. It took all of a second to punch a hole in the paper and hand it over to Eggsy. "Hold that out, just like you were aiming the pistol. Both hands. Put the bullseye of one target centered right in that hole, when you look through it. Then draw it slowly back while keeping it in the hole. It will drift towards your dominant eye."

Eggsy did as he was told, glancing at Landon once more before he held the paper up in front of him until he could just barely see the target through the hole. He kept his eyes open and tried not to blink as it got closer, but as his arms began to bend, he drew the hole in the paper steadily more toward his right eye. It wasn't until it was a few inches away that Eggsy put the paper down and laughed. "Neat trick. That mean I should be closing my left eye to make it straighter?" 

"Yes. The way you're sighting down the barrel is a little off, and it's causing you to miss where you're aiming instead of getting it straight on. Can you see the target holes from here?" When Eggsy squinted, Landon went back to the gear the clerk upstairs had given him and found a small glass, then handed it to Eggsy. With the range targets not being automated, it made sense for the club to have such a tool instead of forcing people to walk down to the end of the range to check their targets. "You see what I mean, about how you're drifting a bit?"

"Oh," Eggsy said as he held the glass up to his eyes. "I couldn't even tell before. Guess that makes sense though if I were aimin' outta the wrong eye. Can I have another go?" 

Landon nodded and stepped back again while Eggsy put his muffs back on. The boy got into position, more comfortable now with checking and releasing the safety, lifting the gun, and this time very carefully looking through the sight and closing his left eye. It took him a minute, like he really wanted to be sure, and then Eggsy took a couple more shots, sighting up each time. 

Looking down the sight the correct way made a sizeable difference. Eggsy was still off, but that was a matter of a lack of practice. Small changes in angle and position could mean a big difference in where the bullet ended up, even before you had to deal with things like wind or a moving target or one's own pulse or breathing throwing the aim off. When Eggsy finished the second magazine, Landon wore a faint smile. "...you're doing very well for someone on their first lesson. Your aim improved quite a bit. Take a look."

"Yeah?" Eggsy's face lit up before he'd even looked through the glass as Landon handed it to him. He was careful with the gun, switching on the safety and laying it on the table turned away from them before he brought the glass to his eye. Quite a number of the shots had made it into the inner circle of the target this time and they could easily be discerned from Eggsy's first try which had decimated the outer left side of the paper. "That is _so_ sick," Eggsy declared before he lowered the looking glass and handed it back to Landon.

Landon gave Eggsy a quizzical look for a split second before he caught on to what the boy's slang term must have meant. The older man had a difficult time keeping the discomfort and disapproval from his face, but he managed. Mostly. "Not how I would have put it. I'd say you have a natural aptitude for this. That doesn't mean that becoming an expert marksman would be effortless, but you have good instincts and coordination, and you learn quickly. Do you play any sports at school?"

Eggsy frankly beamed at that. "Just the usual, but I'm in gymnastics." Eggsy didn't look like he thought gymnastics would make a difference to his shooting ability, but he was nevertheless proud to say it. Landon knew the boy hadn't gone in a while, not when they were sorting things out with his mother, but still Eggsy didn't seem to be keen on putting it behind him. "You think that makes a difference?"

Landon nodded. He was wondering, yet again, about what Harry thought of Eggsy's prior training and if any of that was being put to good use. "I would venture that it would. Martial skills and sports don't just come down to knowledge, but need the right physical endurance and flexibility and the right stances and postures to execute that knowledge correctly. Anything that builds those physical skills would make progression easier. You'd likely see even more of the results of your gymnastics experience if you were to try particular martial arts, like Judo."

"Now that mum would kill me for." Eggsy's grin and the immediate response told Landon the boy had thought about it, but he didn't linger over the subject for long. "Can I go again?" Eggsy asked, eyeing the boxes of ammo on the table and looking at Landon hopefully. They still had the other target, even if it did have a small hole in it already. 

"You can shoot for as many boxes as we have. Although you're going to have to share with me," Landon added and gave the boy a small smile. He was competitive by nature with some things, and as a trainer, one of the things he loved about the job was getting to show off in front of new recruits. Eggsy wasn't a recruit, but the same principal applied. "And I brought more targets. Let’s change them out at the end of the run."

They set up for another round and this time Eggsy handed the gun over to Landon and stepped back to where the man had been before. 

Eggsy watched with rapt attention to the way Landon took his stance, lifted the gun and got off a round of shots with one fluid motion. It was like he wasn't even trying and even in his periphery, Landon could see how wide Eggsy's eyes were. Eggsy's scrutiny was no different than the recruits, and yet Eggsy was far keener to take in every bit of Landon's expertise and understand how to use it himself. 

That alone did much to soothe Landon's ego and mood, which had taken a beating after being made to play babysitter for the weekend. Eggsy's attention was flattering, but more so was the idea of what stories he was going to tell Harry once he'd returned.

Landon lowered the pistol once the magazine was emptied, flicked on the safety, and reloaded. He kept the gun aimed at the floor while handing it over for Eggsy to have a turn.

They went on like that for as long as their ammo lasted. Eventually Eggsy tried to make a competition of it, of which he lost every single time, but surprisingly wasn't resentful about. It seemed Landon's earlier praise of him did wonders for the boy's confidence. 

When it came time for them to leave, Eggsy was back to his usual chatty self. He even talked about how he would show Harry their targets when he got home and wasn't at all dismayed that he couldn't do it sooner. Landon had no delusions that would last forever, but for the few hours Eggsy was riding the high of their outing, it was a respite. 

One that Landon was grateful for. As he drove them back to Harry's place, he hoped that Eggsy would stay upbeat for long enough that he could log into the Kingsman network and check in on the incoming reports, then do a little work. Taking care of Harry's charge had left him with much less time than he was anticipating in order to get his own work done. Children were more exhausting than having a partner, from what Landon could see.

When they got back and Eggsy went off to the living room to find a place for his new targets and then start a game on his Game Boy, Landon was able to do just that. He had to linger just long enough to make sure the boy was engrossed and not about to jump up and interrupt him, but Eggsy seemed alright for the moment. He'd received no further calls or texts from Harry or Kingsman, and anything dire would have come in through those avenues. 

It was...both unsettling that he was out of the picture and blind while spending time with Eggsy and also somewhat reassuring that he hadn't been contacted through more expedient means. 

Landon decided to presume that no news was good news. He knew very well that that often wasn't the case, but as he had no recourse to assist should things prove otherwise and wasn't Harry's official handler for this mission, there was nothing else to be done. Landon ploughed through intelligence leads and informer reports as best he could while partially distracted with the silence regarding Harry. Hours passed without him noticing or thinking to check on Eggsy in the other room.

He was startled by the sound of small footsteps outside the door. Even though Eggsy knocked and as respectfully as manners came to Eggsy, which was to say rather poorly worded at times, Eggsy asked if dinner would be on soon. 

Landon was forced to take a break. 

He noticed as he prepared dinner that Eggsy's mood had dropped somewhat. Not quite back to what it was when he'd learned Harry wouldn't be returning soon, but he could tell that Eggsy was thinking about it. He stayed in the living room and didn't try to bring up conversation even when they sat down at the table. 

Dinner was fantastic, but neither of them tasted much of it. Silence hung over the table as they brooded over Harry's absence - Eggsy missing his lover, and Landon worried about his coworker-turned-friend and how complex and dangerous the case might happen to be.

Halfway through the meal, Landon's phone buzzed. The older man did his best to ignore the look Eggsy was giving him as he flipped his cell phone open to peruse the text he'd received.

Eggsy's eyes snapped up, trying to read him as Landon looked down at his phone. 

_Back. Intercepted in record time, but I came out a little worse for wear._ It was from Harry's personal number, as not even Arthur knew Merlin was in fact providing a favour for Harry that weekend. 

"Is it Harry?" Eggsy piped up, unable to take the silence any longer. 

"It is. He's just landed. He's taking care of a few things, and then he'll be home." Kingsman would patch Harry up and provide transport back to the house, Landon knew. Going to meet Harry was out of the question, particularly as neither of them wanted the relationship of their friendship, and how it tied to Eggsy, broadcast to the rest of Kingsman. Landon began to text back.

_You are missed. Will wait for arrival._

"Really? He's comin' home _now_?" Eggsy's excitement made his voice a little too loud, his breath a little too quick. He got his feet underneath him on the chair, his elbows went on the table, and he perked up so much that he couldn't have looked any happier if it had been Christmas. Eggsy was well and truly wrapped around Harry's finger. "How long d'you think it'll be?"

"Hard to say. The airport is rather unpredictable." Landon cleared his throat and tucked his phone away. "It sounds like he hit a spot of trouble, as well. Security may have a few questions before they let him go, but he'll be home tonight for certain. It may only be an hour or so."

Eggsy calmed down a little, but he was still anxious by the time they put their plates in the sink. He kept looking at the clock or the door, even out the window once or twice until Landon had him go and put on a film while he waited. Eggsy tried but even that didn't distract him long enough from the anticipation of Harry's return. Landon went back upstairs to get a bit more work done while he could.

Finally, at a quarter to nine, Eggsy heard keys in the door. 

"Harry!" he shouted and bolted up from the couch, running into the front hall just as the door opened to reveal a very battered looking Harry. 

It wasn't his suit or his hair or the set of his glasses as those were all as pristine as ever. It was the swath of discolouration around Harry's left eye and a little lower on his cheek and the spot of a cut and the beginning of swelling at the corner of his lower lip. It was the way he stood a little too stiffly and moved too deliberately when he went to embrace Eggsy. 

"Eggsy," Harry pulled back from the hug and gave the boy a soft smile as though nothing at all were the matter. 

Landon wasn't surprised, after Harry's text and the nature of his most recent mission. He was, point in fact, relieved that the damage wasn't worse. Eggsy, however, was distraught, eyes full of alarm and a hint of tears.

"Wha-... what _happened?_ " the boy cried. Even so, he didn't hesitate to rush forward and embrace Harry again, holding onto him like that might make Harry feel better or keep him from leaving again. Eggsy forgot that Landon was even there, observing everything.

"I'm alright Eggsy, only a scratch." Harry and Landon's eyes caught across the hall. "Ran into a mugger before we took off, but I'm fine and he didn't make off with anything." Harry crouched down and carded his fingers through Eggsy's hair. "Really I'm fine." 

When Eggsy looked into Harry's face, he looked like he meant it. He didn't wince when he looked at Eggsy and there was no hint of shame about him. 

"I know it's a bit shocking," Harry admitted.

"But..." Eggsy stared. He wanted to touch Harry's bruised face, and even made an aborted movement before he remembered that they weren't alone. Harry's friend was there. Harry's friend who couldn't be allowed to _know_. "Doesn't it hurt? Has this happened before? You shouldn't make trips out to places like that if stuff like this happens!"

What went unsaid was how much seeing Harry so battered put a spark of fear in Eggsy. Harry had military training, just like Eggsy's father, and despite that, he'd come home beaten. Eggsy didn't want to think about what else might have happened, or about Harry failing to come home from a trip one day.

"I can't simply not go," Harry chided him, "but I assure you that, in spite of my tendency to get into things I shouldn't, this is not very common. Harry rose, but he kept a reassuring hand to Eggsy's shoulder and directed his attention to Landon. "Sean, I see you've fared through the weekend. I do hope Eggsy didn't get up to too much trouble." Eggsy could tell that Harry meant the statement fondly, but it also seemed like Harry was shelving the topic of his injuries for another time even if Landon had to be concerned as well. Anyone would be concerned. 

"Well enough. Eggsy was more of a handful than you'd led me to believe, but part of that was due to other factors. He was worried about you." Landon glanced between Harry and Eggsy; the boy was pressed close against Harry's side. None of the ways they were touching was too over-the-top or inappropriate, but Landon had a good idea of just how things were going to progress as soon as he left the premises. "Eggsy took a while to warm up to me, but that's not unusual. He has something to show you, as well. I took him out to the shooting range."

"Did you?" Harry raised a brow first at Landon and then down at Eggsy like Eggsy wasn't still staring at his bruises. "And what have you got to show me?" Harry gave Eggsy a gentle nudge to prompt him into action. They could all see Eggsy was distressed, which was more than understandable, and now Harry was trying to change the topic with questionable success. 

Eggsy didn't want to leave Harry's side, but he knew that he couldn't stayed plastered against the older man. Harry and Landon were both looking at him now, and if he didn't do what Harry was suggesting, Eggsy knew it would look suspicious. With great reluctance, the boy turned and ran off to the den where he'd left his paper targets. It didn't take hardly any time at all, but when Eggsy returned, Landon and Harry were standing closer together. Both men turned to look as Eggsy held the papers up.

This time both Harry's brows rose. "Surely those must be Sean's targets." He glanced to Landon, who promptly grimaced, not at all interested in going along with Harry's game. "No?" Harry took hold of one as Eggsy held them out and looked it over. "I dare say we have some budding talent among us. Or perhaps beginner's luck. Very nice job, Eggsy. I promise not to tell your mother," Harry added with a touch of cheek. Landon's dour look hadn't quite gone away and Harry sighed. "Alright then. Let me bring in my luggage and I'll release you of your duties. Eggsy, come and help."

They carried in Harry's meagre luggage from the stoop and left it in the hall before Harry straightened to thank Landon properly. 

"I really do appreciate you staying over while I was indisposed." 

"I'll be looking forward to an expression of that appreciation sometime in the near future," Landon replied dryly. Even the notion of bringing Harry into another project sometime soon wasn't enough to completely relieve Landon of his residual irritation, however. Knowing that neither Eggsy nor Harry would display any sort of interesting interactions with each other while he was observing - openly and in the flesh, at least - Landon was eager to be gone and have a respite in the quiet and privacy of his own home.

Electronic eyes would give him what he wanted, and without the awkwardness of having to navigate social interaction.

"Do be sure to gather your things, all of them, from the office before you go then," Harry said, "I would hate to see you missing anything." He turned to Eggsy. "Now then, you've already eaten I gather?" Eggsy nodded. "Very good. I think in that case a night of rest is in order. For me at least." Harry adjusted his glasses and clasped his hand over Eggsy's shoulder, a friendly, familial gesture, but one that fooled no one in present company. 

Landon left for the upstairs office without another word. Gathering his things wasn't difficult, as he rarely brought many belongings with him other than his laptop and what was required to run it. He packed quickly and efficiently, well-aware of the fact that Eggsy would have taken the opportunity to draw inappropriately close to Harry again while he was out of the room.

When Landon was done, no belongings were left behind, but Harry's were altered. His surveillance system still worked as it had, but with the addition of a very well-hidden back door. 

When Landon returned to the first floor, he found Harry and Eggsy in the living room, conversing quietly. Harry took one look at him, up and down, and rose to see Landon to the door. 

"Once again, I must thank you," Harry offered genially as they moved down the hall. "And you'll let me know I'm sure when there's some way for me to repay you?" Harry quieted. Eggsy might have been able to hear if he listened very carefully, but they were mostly out of earshot by the time they reached the front hall. 

"I'll let you know. I can't say when, but sometime soon. I'm sure something will present itself." Landon paused once they reached the doorway and gave Harry a sideways glance. "We should talk, as well. Your adopted ward had some interesting things to say. I'm sure he'll tell you all about the last few days, but you might find some insight from an outside perspective."

That got Landon a keen look from Harry. "Indeed we should, then. Thank you." 

With a nod from Landon and one from Harry in return, Landon reached for the door and stepped out into the night. Harry watched him go, feeling the cool night air against his newly tender skin, and then shut the door. 

He found Eggsy back in the living room, patiently waiting for him. Eggsy truly was a sight for sore eyes, Harry mused and paused at the threshold just to look at him. 

"So you missed me, did you?" Harry asked. 

Eggsy responded in body, rather than in words. He rushed forward to press himself against Harry now that no one else was watching and in danger of discovering their relationship. Eggsy was gentle as he could manage, as he didn't know the extent of the damage Harry had taken, but he couldn't stand having any more space between them than was necessary. 

"I really did. I really, _really_ did. It was so _wrong_ , you not bein' here. I kept looking for you even though I _knew_ you weren't here, an' every time I did, I found nothing or Landon in the spot where you were s'posed to be," Eggsy babbled. This close, Harry smelled like himself, which was greatly reassuring, but there was something else there, too. Something sharp and powdery that reminded Eggsy of the shooting range he'd visited. "And I thought he was awful. I mean, he didn't turn out so bad, I guess. But he asked all sorts of questions and I got angry, 'cause it was none of his business, and he was in your office and _he was in your bedroom_. I couldn't even sneak in there, because he might have seen it."

"Probably for the best," Harry admitted, letting his fingers card through Eggsy's hair. Slowly he drew the boy back to the couch and sat down with a wince. "I am very sorry I had to leave you, Eggsy. I missed you as well. Every day." Harry tilted Eggsy's face up to meet his eyes. "The way you look at me. The way you feel against me, even just sitting like this. I missed you very, very much." Harry's thumb drew down Eggsy's cheek and the corner of his lip twitched as he drank Eggsy in. "Did things with Sean turn out any better in the end?"

"Yeah." Eggsy was distracted for a few moments, still fixated on getting his fill of having Harry back in front of him, touching him. Just the barest contact of Harry's hand against his cheek and jaw set off an ache in the boy, one that started in his chest and spread lower. "I... he let me watch scary movies, and we played a bit of football, and then he took me out to see this sick karate competition, or something. And today we went to the shooting range and he taught me a bit."

One of Eggsy's legs kicked absently. His heel made a faint thump each time it collided with the padding of the sofa. "You didn't tell me he was in the forces, too. He said he met my dad, but didn't know him well."

Harry gave him a considering look and kept stroking Eggsy's hair. "Sean and I have known one another for a long time now. They had only met briefly. I hope that wasn't too much of a shock for you." Harry searched Eggsy's gaze. "But it sounds like you've had quite a full weekend, disregarding all setbacks. I know Sean can seem a bit...intimidating at times, but if you ever need to, you can trust him." There was no way Harry could explain that to Eggsy fully, but he planted it like a seed in the boy's mind nevertheless. 

Eggsy pulled a face. Landon seemed much better than he had, but Eggsy didn't know about _trust_. He still had a posh air about him, and a cold, aloof demeanor that hadn't ever quite gone away. Eggsy didn't know how to trust someone like that. Harry was warm, open, and willing to meet him on the same level, and he never tried to make Eggsy feel self-conscious or ashamed of his lower class upbringing or accent. "Maybe. I don't know what you see in him, really. Intimidatin' isn't the half of it. Kinda felt like I was a bother. And like he wasn't... I dunno, really there? He was, but he had that _gone_ and fake sort of feeling to him. I've seen that from some of the older kids at school, every once in awhile, before someone catches them up to somethin' or they skip out of school and never come back."

Harry hummed. "You're wary of him. That's fair enough. You have good instincts. However, sometimes even those odd personalities can be befriended. I have a feeling he doesn't dislike you as much as you might think. He simply likes his space a lot more." Harry watched Eggsy with care as he took it all in. Eggsy's instincts on Merlin _were_ very apt, but Harry's faith in the man might soften his judgement a bit. "Anyway, I shouldn't have to go on another trip like that for a while now. Meeting clients with this face would be rather difficult to explain." 

"I'd think _so_!" Eggsy sounded offended at the idea that Harry would go anywhere anytime soon. "How bad is... is it? It's gotta be more than just your face, you were movin' like everything hurts." 

Eggsy went back to looking Harry over, concerned. His hands followed the path of his eyes. Harry felt solid enough underneath his clothing, but Eggsy was just imagining what might be underneath. Tension wound through the boy's small frame and then there was nothing for it but to see. Eggsy tugged at Harry's shirt where it was tucked in beneath his waistcoat and jacket.

Harry gave a soft sound of protest, or inevitability, it was hard to discern which because he shifted and helped Eggsy pull up his shirt. A mottled red covered the edge of one hip and farther up, another bruise blossomed over Harry's ribs. 

"Bruised rib. The sorest spot is on my back," Harry explained. He let Eggsy look and even touch. When he did, Harry didn't wince even though the wounds must have been hurting him. Like he had done every time with Eggsy, he simply let the boy explore his body. 

Sorrow filled up Eggsy's eyes, but it was a good sort. It wasn't raw grief and loss, but the sadness that comes with concern. Eggsy's fingertips moved as gently as possible, but after a few moments they withdrew and the boy's mouth set in a stubborn line. "We're gonna get you upstairs. You shouldn't be moving around if you're... y-you're..." _Beat up._ Eggsy couldn't make himself say it, but it was true. Someone had beat up Harry, and it had happened even though Harry was big, and strong, and smart, and used to be in the military. If this could happen to Harry, it could happen to anyone.

"Eggsy, really, it's not as bad as all that." But the sorrowful look on Eggsy's face and the way he glanced down at Harry's bruises made Harry's insides lurch to see it. "Alright then," Harry conceded. "But only because it's nearly time for bed anyway." 

With Eggsy's minimal help, Harry picked himself up off the couch and let the boy lead him down the hall and up the stairs. When they reached his room, he began to shed his clothes. He undid the rest of his tie, the shirt was slipped off his shoulders, belt next, followed by trousers as Eggsy watched and even tried to help with this, too. It was rather endearing, and it brought a warm look to Harry's eyes whenever they fell upon Eggsy. 

Once Harry was unclothed down to his shorts, Eggsy could see the extent of the damage altogether. Harry certainly did look like he'd gone through a beating. The mottled colour on his chest and hip wasn't the last of it. There was another large bruise on his mid back. But Harry didn't let him look for too long. With gentle hands, Harry drew Eggsy's face up to look at him, and then Harry bent to kiss the boy, soft and chaste.

The kiss filled Eggsy with warmth, but a cold weight still nestled at his core. Harry wasn't untouchable. He could be hurt, and if he could be hurt then he could be killed. It had been too close to what he'd worried about, when Harry had said that he had to travel and Eggsy's thoughts had drifted to his father. Harry had come back, but he'd come back having survived what looked like, to a small boy's eyes, significant danger and pain.

And Harry was going to travel again. Not for a while, but sometime. Harry was going to go and Eggsy would have to worry about whether he'd come back, and whether he'd be hurt. What made it worse still was that Eggsy wanted to protect him and knew that that was a foolish idea. Whoever Harry was fighting with, they'd probably be an adult, taller and stronger and heavier. Eggsy wouldn't have a chance.

Except if he did. All of a sudden, the memories of the tournament Landon had taken him to see resurfaced in Eggsy's mind, and with them the fact that he'd seen boys his age fight and win.

Harry drew Eggsy back to the bed. He lifted the boy into his arms and sat down. Eggsy felt hands, large and warm and familiar, run underneath the hem of his shirt and stroke up his back. Harry leaned in for another kiss, moving slowly and a little less chastely, but his touch wasn't demanding. It was a greeting of sorts, a welcome back. Harry was getting to know Eggsy again, indulging in what he'd missed. What they both had missed. 

Harry helped Eggsy with his shirt and trousers until Eggsy was wrapped up in Harry's arms with just as many clothes between them. "You kept my watch safe while I was away?" Harry asked and sounded like he already knew the answer. 

"Yeah. 's in my room right now." The reminder prompted Eggsy to remember what else had been in his room, at least until he'd put it back. A flush of color graced the boy's cheeks and distracted him from the melancholy direction his thoughts had been heading. "I... uh, when we'd been looking for a football to kick around outside- Landon an I, I mean. Anyways, we looked down in the garage and we found some old photos. Photos of you. I... kinda looked through all of them." 

Harry paused. He had to reach back to think of what Eggsy could be talking about, and then it dawned on him. He closed his eyes before he could cast them to the ceiling at Merlin's obvious meddling. "Oh. Those." When Harry opened his eyes again to find a decidedly sheepish looking Eggsy in his arms, he had to go on. "Some of the flattering, and less than flattering, moments of my youth." And then a touch of concern coloured Harry's tone. "That must have been....somewhat jarring for you to discover, to see photos of me so young?"

Eggsy shook his head. _Jarring_ wouldn't have been the boy's word of choice. "Not really. I mean, it was still you, you just looked different. It was..." Eggsy trailed off, but Harry was still looking at him and he'd never been rejected for voicing his thoughts before, so he plucked up his courage and continued. "It was kinda hot, actually, especially some of those. It almost looked like model pictures, but in some of the others you were goofing off. I guess it was just... interesting? I have a hard time thinkin' of you any different than you are right now."

"Oh." Harry blinked. "Well. In that case," a smile touched the corner of his lips, "by all means, indulge yourself. I could hardly deny you that." Eggsy's approval dampened the seed of worry that had sprung up so suddenly inside Harry's chest. One of pride replaced it just as quickly. "Might I ask if you had a favourite?" Harry nuzzled the question into Eggsy's ear before he pulled back with that smile growing on his face, lighting up his eyes and somehow making the split in his lip and the bruise around his eye less noticeable. 

"Yeah, the... teasing ones? I dunno, it looked like you were slowly taking stuff off for a camera and having fun with it." Eggsy's own smile grew broader. Now that Harry was back with him, safe and sound, this was much more fun to think about. More than then possibility of losing him. "Although, you kinda do that anyways. I never thought clothing would be exciting and interesting until I met you."

Harry gave a hum of pleasure at that. "There's a lot to be said for the flattery of a fine suit." A glint came to his eye. "Does it intrigue you enough for you to let me dress you up someday? I still think you would look utterly remarkable. Perhaps even for the camera." Harry let one corner of his mouth curl as he pressed the words into Eggsy's mind. "Just for me." 

Eggsy, depicted as Harry had been for those photographs, nothing like the videos Harry had acquired over the boy's stay, which, although beautiful and treasured above all Harry's possessions, were taken unaware and obviously so. Imagining Eggsy unclothed _looking_ at the camera, looking at _Harry_ , to freeze and keep for all time....it send a thrill to Harry's gut. 

Eggsy turned red, but he had a small smile of his own. One that was a bit embarrassed, but flattered. Harry wanted photos of him, like he had in his own albums, and like people had of their lovers... at least, as far as Eggsy had been led to believe. "Y-yeah, that'd be fine. More than fine, just so long as you don't think it'd get you in trouble? Like, I don't want no one to find them and start asking weird questions or nothin'. And I don't really want anyone else lookin' at them but you."

"I'll make sure they're well hidden." Harry stroked Eggsy's hair and kissed him softly before he pulled the covers back and laid down with the boy. "I'll take care of you." Harry pressed the words into Eggsy's cheek with another kiss. 

It wasn't just Eggsy that needed taking care of though, not when their relationship made Harry vulnerable. Harry didn't say as much, he didn't lay that weight on Eggsy, but it was clear all the same. Harry could be hurt. And Harry could be taken away from him. 

Eggsy knew that. It was written all over the boy, with how he pressed as close as he could get to Harry and the worried, haunted looks that he sometimes got. Eggsy was hard, but he didn't voice any need to Harry even when nestled against him. All that mattered was that Harry was back home and, although slightly battered, in one piece. Eggsy would take whatever he could get.

He drifted off to sleep like that, wrapped in Harry's arms with the feeling that Harry was just as thankful as he was to be back. Every one of Harry's touches told him so.


	15. Chapter 15

Going back to school the next morning was the last thing Eggsy wanted to do, but having Harry there to wake up next to, make him breakfast, and see him out the door was exactly what he'd been missing. 

That night Harry greeted Eggsy by lifting him into his arms and spinning him down the hall until he had the boy pressed into the couch with kisses until he could barely breathe. Harry made lasagne for dinner and seemed to be in a very good mood just to be home. He even seemed far less bothered by his injuries. 

Eggsy was tired from dealing with the beginning of the week, but all of that dissipated soon enough with attention from Harry, dinner, and the joy of the fact that Harry was back home. Eggsy kept an eye on the older man, but when Harry seemed to be moving around far more easily, Eggsy relaxed. The conversation slid into their normal banter in the kitchen and over the dinner table. Eggsy was never very far away and took every opportunity he could to touch Harry, taking pleasure out of the fact that he could.

Eggsy's mood was dampened once the phone rang. Harry's phone, not his own. He watched Harry dry off his hands on a towel from where they'd been cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen and extract the mobile from his pocket. Eggsy didn't know who was on the other end, but he wanted them to be left alone.

Harry glanced at the number and put it to his ear. "Harry Hart speaking." He sounded comfortable enough but Eggsy could tell it wasn't a call from work. Harry didn't answer like that when it was from work. "Yes, he is indeed. Is that so?" Harry's pleasant tone didn't change, neither did his posture, but Eggsy now strongly suspected the call was about him. "Sometime next week would be fine. Is there somewhere she'd like to meet, or shall I expect her arrival here? It would be no great trouble. Yes. Shall we say six on Wednesday?" Eggsy caught Harry's eyes and the man held them. "Splendid. I'll let him know. Thank you." 

Harry hung up. 

"That was Rhonda, your care worker," Harry explained, tentatively setting the phone atop the table. "It seems your mother has been approved by the court to make a visit." 

Eggsy was immediately conflicted, and it showed in the worried look on his face. Part of the boy was anxious to see his mother and make sure that she was doing alright. Part of him was nervous. He didn't know whether Michelle would somehow know what was going on, just as she'd known whenever he was sneaking into the fridge or suspected when he had shoplifted something. "Oh. Um, so... she's coming here? Or are we gonna go somewhere to see her?"

"She'll be coming here for dinner, for which I am happy to play host, next Wednesday." Harry took a long look at Eggsy before he sliced off another section of lasagne and popped it into his mouth. When Eggsy's teeth caught the edge of his lip, Harry spoke up again. "I know you're worried. I wonder if it might help to go over some of the things you might be afraid of giving away so that you can better relax. So that you can talk to her about what you'd really like to talk about, and not feel too nervous."

Eggsy considered this. He picked at his lasagna and chewed slowly. The boy's mind was crowded with all sorts of thoughts, enough that it was hard to know what to say. "I know you said before that other people won't think anything's weird with the two of us unless someone says something, but my mum already thinks bad stuff about you. I guess I'm just worried she's going to guess even if I do and say everything right. Or that she's gonna want to know about stuff I don't want to talk about." 

"That's a very fair worry," Harry admitted. "If you do everything right and she still suspects regardless, then there is nothing we can do to change that. That will not be easy on you. To have a mother worry over you like that, it would be greatly distressing. I would not wish to see you go through such a thing, trying to convince her you are alright to no avail while she worries and tries to intervene. That in itself can be traumatic." Harry watched Eggsy's shoulders droop. "But if that were to happen, I would do everything in my power to lessen the weight of it."

"I mean, I miss her and everything. But she's gonna be asking me, like, how much I miss the flat and how much I wanna come home, and I just..." Pieces slid into place. Eggsy's eyes widened in surprise as his feelings sharpened into a coherent form for the first time. "I don't. I don't really miss the flat. I miss my mum, and seeing her happy and stuff, and doing things together when it's not something boring or her nagging on me to do chores or something. But I don't really miss living there, and worryin' about her boyfriends, and not havin' food, and sneakin' out the back window to do _anything_. I just don't."

Harry blinked. He'd obviously not been expecting that. "Well. I.... You might not always feel that way. You're having a very good time here right now, but you might regret not wanting to go back later." Eggsy didn't look swayed and Harry didn't know what to say to that. Getting exactly what he wanted left him speechless. "That isn't to say you are any less welcome here of course," he stumbled to recover. "I just. I must admit I'm a little surprised. Even though you have every reason not to want to live in a household where strange men might show up, especially ones who become violent." He lowered his fork and met Eggsy's gaze. 

Eggsy looked a little uncomfortable at that and looked away. His fear of Dean played a part in his reluctance to go back home, but it wasn't the only one. Eggsy felt selfish and wrong, not wanting to go back. His absence from the flat didn't mean that his mother was safe, after all, or that nothing would happen just so long as he wasn't there to see it. Enjoying the sort of living that came in a nicer house also felt like a sort of a betrayal, given how hard his mother worked to provide for them and how nasty richer people had been to Eggsy and his mother before he met Harry.

"I... think I'm done, can I be 'scused?" Eggsy mumbled. Guilt ate at him and didn't leave any room for food.

Harry's face fell. "Of course." 

He let Eggsy slide from his seat and take his plate to the kitchen in silence, beginning to suspect what was on the boy's mind. Harry wanted to say something, anything, to reassure Eggsy that this was ok, but Harry suspected that this was one of those times, the first time actually, that Eggsy might need to be alone and think about things. That didn't stop a tentative plan of action from forming in the back of Harry's mind, however. It simply allowed him to wait at the table as Eggsy passed without reaching out to catch him. 

For the first time since Eggsy's confession of his crush and the start of their relationship, the boy avoided Harry. His head was so full of his own thoughts and feelings that the idea that Harry might be hurt by such avoidance didn't even occur to Eggsy. 

He didn't know what to make of all of this. Children were supposed to love their parents and want to be with them. Eggsy knew he loved his mother, even when he was upset with her, and he did want to see her more, but simultaneously didn't want to go back to his mother's flat. The idea, when he thought about it, filled him with almost as much unhappiness as the notion of going back to live with his aunt. He wanted to stay living with Harry, which meant that he'd have to tell his mother as much at some point. She would cry, and Eggsy knew it would be his fault, and just thinking about it tied his insides into knots.

Harry let Eggsy sit up in his room for a long time. He thought about taking out a glass of wine and quickly discarded the notion. He thought about picking up a book and discarded that idea as well. Eventually he simply let the hour pass while caught up on some suspicious theories about a Ukrainian satellite company that had been putting far more hardware than they were reporting in orbit over the last several months. When he'd finally had enough of that, Harry opened the cupboards to find that the bag of marshmallows had been displaced and it gave him an idea. 

Minutes later, Eggsy heard a knock at his door before Harry peered inside with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, one plain and one filled with marshmallows. 

"Mind if I come in?" Harry asked. 

Eggsy quickly scrubbed away his tears and straightened. When he turned to nod at Harry, the boy did his best to pretend that he hadn't been crying, but it was a miserable attempt. No one would mistake the red rims around his eyes as anything but evidence of tears. "Yeah, 'course. I'm sorry about dinner, I just... I got full quick, was all. The lasagna was really good, though."

The waste of food sent another bit of shame through Eggsy. It was only because he was living with Harry that that was even possible. Food had always been too valued to go uneaten or be thrown away back when he was living with his mother. It felt like another betrayal.

Harry sat down on the bed next to Eggsy and put the mug with marshmallows on the night stand where Eggsy could reach it before he wrapped his arm around the boy. "Oh I know. Never mind dinner, it's not important." Harry took a sip of his mug and considered Eggsy. "You feel like you're letting her down by not wanting to go back, don't you?" He let the mug settle in his lap and didn't remove his arm. Rubbing small circles in Eggsy's back wasn't just a comfort for Eggsy, but for Harry as well. 

Eggsy nodded. He couldn't speak for a long moment; when he tried, his throat only closed up with emotion. "I'm... supposed to want to go back, aren't I? I mean, I'm not like some of the kids from school who got adopted because their parents didn't want them, or who beat them up before they got taken away. She's my mum, and she's always tried to do her best, y'know? I love her an' all, but I don't _want_ to go back. Not even if it's just her and me and there isn't some horrible boyfriend."

Harry gave a small sigh. "That's a difficult question. For most people your age, I would say that is the expectation. I believe....through our relationship, I've given you an alternative. I've given you a source of love and companionship, care and safety, excitement even, outside your mother and your home, and that I think is very natural to not want to give up no matter how much you love your mother. You will always be you, and she will always be your mother. I dare not try to compete with that. The thought of leaving home, especially for the company of someone else is....perhaps the equivalent of what most people go through in their late teens and early twenties. Not quite the same, I'll grant you, but there will come a day when you leave your mother on your own, regardless of my involvement."

"I don't want to hurt her though." Leaving would hurt her, Eggsy knew that well enough. Michelle was distraught now at being separated, but that was due to a separation not of her choosing. If Eggsy said that he didn't want to go back, there was no telling how upset his mother was going to be. 

The boy looked at the mug of hot chocolate sitting on his dresser. The marshmallows in it were slowly dissolving, coming apart. Some things, once done, could never be put back the way that they were before. "She got really angry with me, before. When I was little, I was curious about dad, y'know? He was my hero, sorta, and I said something about maybe joining the forces when I got older, and my mum lost it at me. She apologized later, but I'd never heard her yell so loud before. Same thing when I was looking through pictures... there were ads in the magazines she used to get, from... um, the ladies in the hair shop, when they were done with them. Ads to go travel to different places, and the photos were so colorful and _different_ from everything 'round here. I said I might want to visit some of those places someday."

Eggsy looked down at his own clasped hands, and the way his feet dangled off the side of the bed without touching the ground. "Mum brushed it off, told me that those places aren't as great as in the photos, and dangerous besides, and too expensive besides. Some of that's true, I guess, and we'd never been able to afford it, but that wasn't why she said it, I don't think. She just sounded scared, same way she did whenever we were near out of food or she had to go down to some office to talk about money and stuff."

Harry bent to put his own mug next to Eggsy's on the table and wrap the boy loosely in his arms. It wasn't the kind of embrace that pulled Eggsy into him as Harry so often did, just pressed them together, side by side. "I'm sure your mother has many fears, ones that revolve around both providing for you and losing you. Sometimes those fears can put you in a rather...restricted position, even if she never intended such a thing." 

Harry looked down at Eggsy, who was studying his hands. He swept a lock of chestnut hair from Eggsy's forehead. The motion was familiar now, and yet Harry couldn't help marvelling at how good the strands felt between his fingertips. How good it felt to brush his hands against Eggsy's temple. Almost good enough to distract from the tightness in his chest. 

"Whatever happens, you will not lose me. It will be a while yet before the courts decide whether you should go back to live with her, but even if you do, well," Harry forced a gentle smile, "I'll invite you over as often as you like. More than, I'd imagine."

"Do I even get a choice?" Eggsy's voice was so soft, almost too soft to discern the individual words. Eggsy was a clever boy. He knew that often enough, people his age weren't regarded as people. Adults didn't ask what he wanted, and didn't feel obligated to honor his wishes even if they did bother to ask. When Harry didn't immediately respond, Eggsy turned in his arms. The boy's head tucked against Harry's chest and his arms wrapped around the older man. "It's not fair. Nothing is ever fair."

Harry lowered his head and tightened his hold around Eggsy. He kissed the top of the boy's head and thought about the way Eggsy made such feeling bubble up inside him. "No, it really isn't." Harry knew just how true that statement was. And how true he'd made it. He held Eggsy tighter. 

They sat like that together for a long time, Harry feeling Eggsy tremble and swallow back tears. He rubbed his hands over the boy's back, up and down, touching Eggsy both to sooth him and fulfill a need within himself. Some need that told him to remember what Eggsy felt like, to hold it in his mind and keep it there for as long as he could, to count every vertebrae in Eggsy's back, to solidify the softness of the hairs at the base of Eggsy's neck into the back of his mind. Harry thought about speaking for a long time. For once, he found it difficult. 

"If you could choose, would you really stay here?" Harry asked. 

"I-... I think so." Saying for certain was so difficult. Eggsy knew that he might cave, if he was called upon to speak his mind and his mother was there. He didn't know if he could speak the words while she looked at him and tried not to cry. "I miss her. I miss some things. I'd miss here more, though."

That was the core of it. Eggsy had lived in that flat with his mother for years, but something about it never got to feeling like home. There was always the threat of eviction, or having to move so his mother could maybe find a better job, or maybe to be close to a boyfriend. Eggsy wasn't allowed to do much to his room because it might lose their security deposit if they had to leave. The flat was familiar, but always had the air of _temporary_ to it, despite the fact that they'd been there for as long as Eggsy could remember. His mother had been home. Now Harry was starting to feel like home, and the older man's house along with it.

Harry nodded. He sighed softly, feeling it ruffle Eggsy's hair. "Okay." Harry didn't say any more than that, but he knew there was a note of finality that had worked its way into his voice. Even if Eggsy didn't understand what it meant. 

Harry tucked his arms underneath Eggsy and pulled the boy into his lap before he laid back down on the bed. He kicked off his shoes and brought his feet up, uncaring that this wasn't his bed or that they were both fully clothed. Harry covered Eggsy in soft kisses. He stroked his hands over every vulnerable spot on Eggsy they could find. Harry didn't know how to reassure the boy, not in any way that he could reveal to Eggsy, but he could do this much. 

Eggsy was still worried, but this was better. He could faintly smell hot chocolate in the air, but Harry was right in front of him and all around him. Eggsy _felt_ safer. Harry's bruises were hidden beneath his clothes, and Eggsy could pretend that he was invulnerable again and that everything was going to be alright.

"Did you really mean it, earlier? I ain't gonna lose you?"

Harry pulled back just enough to look Eggsy in the eye. "I meant it." 

Harry could see the gleam of hope shining through Eggsy's gaze. His head was full of doubt and guilt and uncertainty, but Harry could be a support to lean on. Harry was certain, or at least far more certain than Eggsy, about so many things in the boy's situation. 

When Harry smiled again, it wasn't so forced. "No matter what is to come." 

Eggsy gave Harry a tremulous smile in return. Harry felt the boy relax a little in his arms. He wasn't completely naive, but he still trusted in some promises that adults made to children. Particularly promises from Harry. Eggsy was still worried about his mother, but it was clear that he didn't want to talk about her any more just then. He had plenty of time yet to worry about how the visit was going to go and try to figure out what he might say.

"Are you feeling any better? With the bruises and everything?"

Harry's smile warmed. "I am. It takes quite a lot more than that to break me, you know." Harry tilted Eggsy's chin up to place a kiss upon the boy's lips. "I frightened you, didn't I, coming home looking like this?" He continued before Eggsy could protest. "You were very worried about what could happen to me if I left without you. But you see, here I am, in spite of all efforts by unnamed villains to hold me back." Harry let a familiar, playful light come into his eye, for it was true.

Harry's playfulness worked its magic. Eggsy wanted to believe, and what Harry said was true: someone had tried to stop the older man and he'd bounced back from the attempt without much difficulty. Harry was moving more easily already. The seed of doubt was still there, but Eggsy was happy to pretend that it wasn't. The boy's smile widened a bit more and turned more solid. "Woulda liked to see them try it. Bet that was somethin' to see, you kickin' their arses. You did, didn't you?"

A laugh burst from Harry. "Perhaps I did. You'd have liked to see such a thing, wouldn't you?" 

A new light came into Harry's eye at that. An idea took hold of him as suddenly as his body moved, rolling the two of them so that he had Eggsy pinned under him, the boy's small wrists caught in his hands. Harry lifted them level with Eggsy's shoulders as he bent down for another kiss against Eggsy's ear. "Shall I show you what I did to them? You seem to have had quite a time with Sean, but perhaps you'd like a more...intimate demonstration on how to restrain a man?" Harry pressed Eggsy's legs down with his weight and let the warmth of his breath ghost over Eggsy's ear. 

Eggsy laughed and squirmed, vainly trying to get away just to see if he could managed to slip out of Harry's hold. "I should hope it wasn't this. Kissin' your attackers doesn't sound like a great idea, and 'sides, you're only supposed to be kissin' me. Or is that what you like, people tryin' to beat you up? 'Cause I've heard there's stuff like that." Eggsy couldn't imagine why anyone would want that, but like anything that was a little strange and taboo, kids at school had talked about what little they'd heard about it.

"Oh no, but I rather like holding you down," Harry admitted as though it were the most natural thing in the world but for the devilish curl at the corner of his mouth. "Do you think you could beat me up if you tried?" Harry lifted Eggsy's hands to catch them in in only one of his as he planted kisses down Eggsy's neck. His free hand skittered down Eggsy's stomach, fingers tickling over the tender flesh through his shirt as they went. "Or would you just let me do whatever I like with you?" Harry found the hem of Eggsy's shirt and his nimble hand slipped underneath to get to Eggsy's warm skin. 

"H-hey!" Eggsy was writhing, but it was still a game. Harry wasn't a threat, and so nothing about his words or actions were any more threatening than some of the roughhousing between boys at school. All the shoves, wrestling, and pinning one another to the ground wasn't anything but sport. "I bet I could beat you up, I just don't want to. It ain't fair, not with you recoverin' and all. 'Sides, I like you better without all the bruises."

Harry's fingers tickled against Eggsy's skin and the boy giggled. "What's this about doin' whatever you like with me, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing." Harry glanced up to meet Eggsy's eyes with a wicked smirk before he drew down the boy's stomach and lifted up his shirt, high enough to expose his chest. High enough that Harry could blow a giant raspberry against his skin to make Eggsy laugh, and laugh he did until Harry opened his mouth and dragged his teeth up Eggsy's tender skin. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make him feel it. Those teeth closed over his side and Harry bit down lightly, like he was ready to devour Eggsy. "Only that you are at my mercy." Eggsy felt a spike of adrenaline and just a touch of fear, for the first time since Harry had transitioned from being a stranger to a friend. He hadn't been expecting teeth at all. Harry was still being playful, but part of Eggsy heard a serious note underneath the teasing cadence in Harry's voice. There was a hidden truth and, with that truth, a want. Eggsy didn't understand any of it consciously, but he felt it, enough to pause and look at Harry with wide, startled eyes. "I... what are you gonna do?"

Harry looked up at him and hummed. "I'd like to eat you all up," he admitted, muffled as he said the words into Eggsy's skin. Harry broke eye contact as he said it and something about that made Eggsy think he wasn't only joking. When Harry glanced back up at Eggsy again, he crawled the short distance up the boy's body, still holding his hands, so that they were side by side. Eggsy could feel that Harry was hard already when he pressed close, but Harry caught Eggsy's chin with his fingertips and he didn't let the boy look down. It looked like Harry was on the verge of asking him something, but he leaned down for a kiss instead, one that opened Eggsy up. 

The others before it had been chaste. Since Harry got back, almost all their kisses had been chaste, but this one wasn't. 

Harry's tongue wasn't demanding at first. The kiss was suggestive, teasing Eggsy's lips apart with light pressure and suction until Harry could slip inside. Eggsy took a sharp breath, both in surprise and at the way the invasion made him feel. Or, rather, where it drew his focus. Eggsy hadn't been ignoring the firm warmth pressed against him, broadcasting Harry's interest, but now Eggsy was aware of just _how_ and _where_ they were pressed together. He remembered another night, when Harry slipped a finger into him, and the request he'd made once when Eggsy had turned him down.

Slowly the kiss became more insistent. Harry's hips rocked against Eggsy at the same time he sighed into the kiss. Harry broke only long enough so that Eggsy opened his eyes to look at him. Harry stared at him for one unnerving moment as though he were trying to read something in Eggsy. And then he caught Eggsy up in a kiss again before the boy could speak, picking right back up where he'd left off. Harry's free hand moved beneath Eggsy's shirt, curled slowly around his hip, and pulled Eggsy tighter against him. 

"Did you miss this?" Harry asked when he let Eggsy catch his breath. 

"Y-yeah." Eggsy's higher-pitched voice sounded unusual when thickened with lust. The boy couldn't fake that, any more than he could fake his own, much smaller interest now pressed against Harry as he pulled them flush together. Eggsy had missed Harry for so many things, but _this_ was starting to become an integral part of the set. Harry was safety, and warmth, and bounty, and love, and also sex. "Thought about stuff when you were gone. I couldn't go into your bedroom, though, and it was... I kept worryin' about you. Kinda hard to think about this when you're all worried."

"Mm, well I'm back now and you don't have to worry anymore. At least not about me." Harry's eyes glinted in the light, some kind of trick he managed with the way his head was turned and a half blink. It was clear he was still teasing Eggsy, even if there was a strange undercurrent to it that Eggsy couldn't quite place. Harry perhaps didn't even mean for it to be there, but there it was all the same. "Would you like to come back to my bed with me?" Harry asked, fingers sliding down under the hem of Eggsy's trousers until he encountered the soft, sweet flesh of Eggsy's rear. 

Eggsy took a moment to respond, thrown by the odd way that Harry was behaving. It wasn't out of character, but it was different from before Harry's trip. That moment of pause was all it took for Eggsy's mind to latch onto an explanation: Harry had missed him. The time they'd spent away from one another had affected the older man just as much, and this had to be how he was showing it. "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I don't wanna sleep in the guest room anymore now that I don't gotta. I missed being with you."

"I'm glad to hear it." Harry sat up and scooped Eggsy up with him. The boy's hands were finally released, but Harry simply had hold of him in another way. Harry carried him out of the room, past their mugs of hot chocolate, forgotten now, and down the hall to Harry's room. Harry flicked on the lights with his elbow and swung Eggsy over the bed, tossing them down together. Eggsy landed in the cushion of the comforter with Harry half atop him, and then he was being kissed again. Harry seemed hungry for it and even though he didn't reach to hold Eggsy's arms down again, Eggsy found he still couldn't move when Harry's hands went to the waist of his trousers and began pulling them off. 

That was different, too. Harry had always taken care not to settle too much of his weight on him, always laid in such a way that Eggsy really could have moved away and escaped had he truly wanted to. The fact that he couldn't right then was frightening and strangely arousing. Harry had lost none of his edge and the movements of his hands were impatient. Eggsy's hips were narrow enough that his trousers and pants slid off easily, but Harry might have been tempted to tear them off if they hadn't. Eggsy made a questioning noise, but his words were swallowed by the kiss.

Harry's hands slowed and gentled for a moment, like he'd realised he'd startled Eggsy just a little, but then Harry was moaning softly against Eggsy's mouth and his touches quickened again. There was an urgency in the way Harry pulled Eggsy's shirt up and over his head, in the way he dove back down and found Eggsy's mouth again, in the way he wrapped Eggsy in his arms tighter than Eggsy remembered. 

Harry began shedding his own clothes, starting with his shirt and then his belt. If he thought he was moving too fast after Eggsy's moment of guilt, he didn't show it. Harry wouldn't have forgotten; he was normally so considerate. Now that he'd gotten worked up though, he really did seem like he was starved. 

Eggsy was barely aware of Harry shedding his clothing until it was all gone. It happened rapidly, and in pieces, with Harry kissing his breath away or smoothing hands across his skin in between. Eggsy's head swam, and before he could surface fully Harry was back, tasting and touching until finally he was just as bare as Eggsy was. Harry settled atop him, not enough to suffocate, but enough that Eggsy was thoroughly pinned. Even Harry's hands had become possessive, just a touch firmer than usual. 

"I want you to be mine. Always," Harry whispered into Eggsy's ear, so softly he barely heard it. He certainly felt it. Harry had to bend his head down at an awkward angle to get that close while he rocked his hips against Eggsy's. It was a sentiment born of the moment, of heat and desire and too many nights apart. There was no reason Eggsy had to connect it directly with his feelings about going back to Michelle. 

Harry reached for the night stand, a now familiar motion. Eggsy heard a snap and felt Harry's fingers brush against his cock, painting the gel over him and then Harry, and when Harry slotted their hips back together and rubbed against him in an easy slide, the friction felt twice as good.

Eggsy wouldn't have thought that a few days would have made so much difference, but it _did_. The touch of his own hand was very different from being engulfed by Harry's, or feeling him slide right against him, just as hard and full of want but so much _larger_. The differences between them were beginning to become something of a turn on, point in fact. Harry could easily break or overpower him, but he _didn't_. Even the feeling of being pinned was all in play. Eggsy felt confident that Harry would stop and let him go if he wanted it.

"Always is a really long time. You sure you want me for that long?"

Harry nuzzled against Eggsy's cheek and didn't slow the rhythm. "Very." 

The stimulation wasn't enough. From the way Harry shut his eyes and rocked so deliberately against Eggsy, Eggsy could see that it wasn't for him either. Harry applied more lube to his fingers and laid them behind Eggsy's balls, pressing up at the fleshy part of his skin, sending sparks of arousal with every slow rub. Then they drew back farther, pressing against the ring of muscle at Eggsy's entrance until Harry slipped one inside. It wasn't quite as slow as he'd done it before, but Harry was careful. He watched Eggsy with his brow pressed to the boy's temple and Eggsy could tell Harry was looking for signs of discomfort. It seemed that even in Harry's lust filled haze, he was conscious enough to consider how tender Eggsy was. 

The sensation was strange, mostly in its unfamiliarity. Eggsy wasn't used to the feeling of being breached, even by something as small as a finger. His body still tensed as Harry slid one digit in, but no more. He didn't panic, or tell Harry to stop. He remembered, instead, just how good it had felt once he had settled, when he'd relaxed and Harry had curled that finger upward. Something about the contact felt more intimate, as well. Harry wanted to be close enough to do this, and there was no place closer than being twined around and inside one another.

Harry's finger crept further in, and Eggsy whined at the slight burn, and then the discomfort went away. Something gave, and where he'd been clenched tightly around Harry, he now was able to slide without impediment.

Harry gave a small hum of appreciation. He worked in enough to massage that spot inside Eggsy that made the desire in him sharpen down to one point and his little cock harden that much more. Eggsy's lips parted and his eyes grew dazed with Harry watching all the while. He felt the spread of even more lube as Harry worked, and then there was a bit more pressure, a bit more of a stretch, and Eggsy didn't realize what it was at first because Harry didn't stop rubbing that perfect spot, until he glanced down and saw that Harry had two fingers inside him. 

Eggsy couldn't believe it. He watched in vague shock as Harry's hand slid back and forth, but sure enough, there were two. The boy hadn't thought anything more than one finger would fit, or not without hurting terribly, but while he wasn't exactly comfortable, it wasn't painful. Harry slid deeper and crooked his fingertips up, and soon enough Eggsy forgot about worrying about what it meant and how it was possible. His thoughts were lost in ripples of pleasure and gasps, and all the while he could feel Harry right there, watching.

And _smiling_ It was barely there, just the quality of it behind Harry's widened pupils and parted lips, but Eggsy could see it. Harry had seen his surprise and Harry had enjoyed it. Harry could have used the opportunity to say something, could have told Eggsy he might enjoy more, but he didn't. He kissed up and down Eggsy's neck and pleasured the boy with the friction between them and the slide inside of him. Then Harry worked his hand between them and wrapped his fingers around Eggsy's cock, taking the friction from an imprecise pleasure and narrowing it right where Eggsy wanted it. 

For several seconds, Eggsy was in heaven, and then Harry whispered, "One more."

Eggsy almost didn't process what Harry had said. He was too far gone, enjoying having Harry back and with him and exploring this part of their relationship together in a haze of pleasure. Harry's words sunk in when the boy heard the snap of a plastic cap once again, and a slight pressure at his entrance.

It turned to an uncomfortable burning feeling almost immediately as Harry slid the tip of one more finger past that ring of muscle, and Eggsy went tense. His breathing hitched and, despite himself, Eggsy started to look down. "I... I can't, it's not gonna fit. It feels weird, kinda hurts." The stretch had turned into an ache, not unlike the soreness in Eggsy's muscles when he'd overexerted himself in sports or skateboarding, but a subconscious part of him knew that he was fragile there. One wrong move and he could tear.

Harry let go of Eggsy's cock to hold the back of his head. He kept them firmly pressed together, providing brushes of friction, but most importantly, his third finger stopped. Didn't pull out, he kept up the shallow slide of the first two, just stopped where it was. "Relax," Harry murmured. "I can feel how tight you are. I know it hurts. I won't let it get too bad." Eggsy squirmed against Harry's hand. He could still feel the stretch, but the burn had receded when Harry wasn't moving the third finger with the others. Harry shifted them just a little, drawing them together and making their circumference just a little smaller. 

That helped. Eggsy concentrated on just breathing, on the hand cradling the back of his head and on Harry's face. The intensity was still there, but Harry was focused on him. When Harry's fingers started to move again, all three moved at once in a tight, narrowed cluster, but _slowly_. Harry watched Eggsy the whole time, looking for signs of pain or distress. Drawn together, three fingers wasn't as bad as Eggsy had thought it would be. They still burned, but it wasn't _pain_ , just an ache as he was forced to stretch to accommodate them.

It took a little bit of work for Harry to get them in far enough to make Eggsy feel good again. It didn't quite ease the ache all the way, but when Harry's other hand drifted down again to stroke his cock in time, the pleasure helped considerably. 

"Look at you," Harry whispered. "You're doing so well." His voice was soft reassurance in Eggsy's ear. Harry never took his eyes off Eggsy's face. With every expression Eggsy made, Harry reacted accordingly, either slowing down and easing the pressure, or carefully building it up again. 

Eggsy was too young and trusting to have paused to consider whether Harry was manipulating him. Praise felt wonderful, coming from Harry, as did the older man's attention. Eggsy was too used to negative attention, verbal or otherwise. Harry's voice in his ear filled him with warmth, spreading out from the center of his chest. It took time, but Harry didn't seem to be in any hurry, and after minutes passed Eggsy found himself squirming and unconsciously tilting his hips up against Harry's hand where it stroked against his cock.

With Eggsy responding so well, Harry kept up the praise. He told Eggsy how much he missed him, how much he wanted him while they were apart. Harry told Eggsy how proud he was of him, how strong he was, how fearless, until Eggsy was shuddering in his hands with every teasing stroke and Harry was nibbling at his ear. Harry hadn't been able to stop himself from rubbing against the boy while his hands worked, but it wasn't nearly enough. 

When Eggsy was dazed, strung out on the pleasure and disregarding the pain well enough, Harry searched out his eyes. "Eggsy. Would you let me inside you?" 

Eggsy turned dazed eyes on Harry. It took the boy a moment to realize that Harry didn't mean what he was already doing. Eggsy's concern immediately returned. Three fingers was much more than he thought he'd be able to take, much less enjoy, but Eggsy was certain that Harry was larger than that. Harry was also longer than a finger by quite a bit, and Eggsy had no idea how that was going to work. His size was going to be a factor not just in terms of girth, but of _length_ as well. "You... it'd hurt, wouldn't it? I don't think it'd work."

"It will hurt a little," Harry admitted. "But I will go slow, and I don't need much. It doesn't have to be all the way." Harry slowed his strokes so that Eggsy could think, but he didn't stop. He wanted the boy to feel the pleasure of it while he considered. Harry didn't shy away from Eggsy's gaze. Eggsy needed certainty from him, certainty that this could work. Even Eggsy would see through pleas and praise at this point, and Harry's instincts didn't like the thought of playing it that way. Even this much was enough for now. Eggsy truly had come farther than Harry had intended that night, and there would be others for Harry to ask again. 

Eggsy was torn. He was curious, and he trusted Harry, but he was afraid. He didn't know what could go wrong, only that something _could_ and that it would probably hurt terribly. Eggsy was very enthusiastic about the idea of agreeing to something that even Harry told him would hurt.

Eggsy also didn't feel like he could refuse Harry, though. Harry was waiting on him, still with that air of hunger around him that had been so obvious earlier when Harry had pinned him down. Harry had given him so much, and taken care of him, and missed him while he was gone overseas, and this was the second time Harry had asked for this. Eggsy worried at his bottom lip and tried to think. He was afraid of what might happen if he said yes, but he was also afraid of what might happen if he said _no_.

"Not tonight, then." Harry made the decision for him. He kissed Eggsy's temple. He pulled the third finger free to make the slide of the first two easier. Eggsy felt the remaining ache diminish as Harry stroked with more certainty. "It's okay." There didn't seem to be much disappointment in his voice, and Harry hadn't stopped watching Eggsy. Perhaps Harry had expected this. Had pushed for more, but expected not to go through with it in the end. Eggsy felt Harry press a kiss to his cheek. "It's okay," he repeated, and Harry didn't often repeat himself unless he meant it. 

Eggsy felt the tension go out of him all at once. Harry hadn't been angry or sad, and he hadn't made any demands. There were no criticisms or comments to try to make him feel guilty, or assertions that it was something Harry expected to happen soon. Harry had said it was ok, and so it was. Eggsy wrapped his arms around Harry and relaxed, falling back into the pleasure of what they were doing. Part of the boy noted that the second finger, which had felt so odd and uncomfortable when they'd started, now moved without any pain.

Eggsy closed his eyes and tried to imagine that they were doing more, and that _this_ was what it would feel like if they tried it. 

It wasn't difficult when Harry attacked his mouth again and began to make every stroke and every thrust count. In spite of Eggsy's worries, his body had been responding to Harry's touch all the while, opening up for the man and slowly being overtaken by pleasure. Without the pain, it only worked Eggsy up faster. 

Harry didn't move his weight away this time. Perhaps it was due to how much he'd missed Eggsy, how much he cherished the feel of him, but he kept the boy half trapped under him while he worked. Somehow all the while, Harry was putting his own pleasure by the wayside. Eggsy could feel the weight of Harry's cock against his thigh, and he could feel the slick head of it when Harry ground it there, but he made no move to take his hands off Eggsy to touch himself. 

The world contracted. Eggsy forgot about his worries. Nothing else seemed to matter but this - Harry's demanding kisses, the tip of his tongue every once in a while mirroring what he was doing with his fingers down below, the hand wrapped around the boy's cock that never let up, the weight of Harry and the groove of his hip where Eggsy could feel him sliding every now and then. Eggsy's legs spread wider, and that must have excited Harry; his finger started to move faster, teasing little circles around the spot inside of Eggsy until the boy whined and was rewarded with just the right amount of direct contact and pressure.

Eggsy would have arched against the bed when his climax hit, but for the way Harry was draped atop him and holding him down.

Harry drank up his cries, muffled between their mouths, like he could bottle Eggsy's pleasure. Eggsy was left gasping when they parted. 

Harry's fingers drew out of his still trembling body and turned Eggsy over. It took a split second for Eggsy to realise what was going on while Harry lined up behind him, draping himself over Eggsy's back. Harry's length slid between the cleft of his arse and the sensation was so strangely intimate, just that. Harry slid down, guiding it to paint precum over Eggsy's hole. Harry rubbed there and Eggsy, as boneless as he was, could almost _hear_ what Harry was thinking as he felt the slide of it. Harry's lips closed over his ear. Harry's breath was already shaky just at the _thought_ of pushing inside Eggsy. But then he guided his cock lower, trapped it between Eggsy's thighs, and gasped aloud as he began to thrust. 

Eggsy's sedated state didn't last very long with what Harry was doing. The boy had felt another spike of concern when Harry had looked to be considering penetration, but the thought didn't seem as terrible as it had only a few minutes ago. Eggsy still felt loose and relaxed, and the sound and feel of Harry behind him was causing his own cock to grow hard again. 

The way they had to look... Eggsy imagined it might be something like the Greek vases in the book Harry owned. Harry slid back and forth between his thighs, leaving a slick of precum and lubricant behind, and Eggsy felt his face heat just thinking about how that would look if he could see it. A little knot of lust curled back through the boy, right at the base of his spine and grew larger. He turned his head and tried to glance behind him. "...H-Harry?"

Harry's face was flushed, hair falling all around his forehead, his eyes unclear. He blinked and pressed a kiss to Eggsy's shoulder, steadying himself like the ability to form words had briefly fled his memory. His daze passed soon enough, but the desire in his eyes didn't. 

"What is it?" Harry whispered into Eggsy's skin, slowing his pace just enough to let Eggsy speak without distraction. Harry didn't want to stop, but he held back that much. 

"I..." The words stuck in Eggsy's throat, but Eggsy felt a bit more certain, looking back at Harry. Particularly as Harry had immediately given him his attention. Harry cared what he thought and wanted, no matter what they were doing, and that gave Eggsy just a bit more bravery for what he was going to say. 

"Can... I change my mind? I mean... if you'll listen and stop if I say so, and don't... don't go very far, or fast. If you're sure it doesn't hurt t-too much, or..." Eggsy's teeth almost chattered out of sheer nervousness, and the boy couldn't hold his voice steady, but he managed to get everything out. "I... I think I want to try, maybe."

Harry blinked again. He stilled, wrapped his arms around Eggsy, and looked into his eyes. 

"You're sure?" 

Eggsy could see the furrow in Harry's brow. The press of Harry's body told him just how interested the man was, but the look on Harry's face was more hesitant than it had been earlier. Eggsy had surprised him. 

Harry's hesitance made Eggsy's courage flag a bit. Harry was being supportive and affectionate, but this was new and scary territory. Even if Eggsy was choosing to give it a try. He'd felt just as anxious the first time he'd done any number of things - shoplifting and full of fear that he was going to get caught, or climbing out his window and worried that he was going to fall, or skating with his friends and convinced that he was going to eat pavement while everyone was watching. Eggsy took as deep a breath as he could manage with Harry atop him and tried to sound more confident than he felt. "Just, only if you stop if I say so. Alright?"

Harry's look of uncertainty faded at that. It was replaced with something Eggsy could only describe as _warmth_.

"Alright," Harry agreed, running his hands up Eggsy's sides in a soothing caress. Harry pressed his lips to Eggsy's temple as he continued. "All you have to do is say when. It'll hurt a little, but I'll be very, very gentle." Their eyes never broke contact and Eggsy could see Harry searching him for signs of reservation beyond simple nervousness. Harry didn't want him to do this out of some notion of payment. 

Once Harry was satisfied, he reached for the bottle of lube again and made his fingers slick with it. "I want to make sure you're relaxed," he explained. "It is truly amazing how the body can open up if the muscles are loosened, but it takes time and muscle memory." Gently, Harry stroked over Eggsy's hole and slipped his fingers back inside, one after the other until two were nestled there comfortably.   
Eggsy tried to make himself relax, like he had been. That was difficult considering that he knew what was coming, but not exactly how it was going to feel. The boy was tempted to say that he'd changed his mind again, but he refused to do it. Not before he'd given it a try. Eggsy wasn't a coward. Harry would stop and gracefully accept Eggsy's refusal, but Eggsy knew that giving into his nervousness now would eat at him later.

Harry kissed across Eggsy's shoulder blades and up his neck all the while. Small affections did wonders to calm the boy's racing thoughts just a bit. Harry slipped a third finger in and Eggsy felt a bit of the burning sensation from before, but not as much. He was still loose from earlier.

Harry spent a lot of time at it, testing how deep he could push or how wide he could make his fingers before Eggsy shifted in discomfort. It gave Eggsy a hint of what the real thing might feel like as much as it helped to make room in his body. Harry made him lay as boneless as he could against the mattress and rewarded him with strokes to that sweet spot whenever he thought Eggsy was doing particularly well. 

The fact that Eggsy could take the discomfort of Harry's preparation and the way it was combined with pleasure still was greatly reassuring. By the time Harry draped himself over Eggsy to place a kiss behind the boy's ear and pull out his fingers, Eggsy was not in any great pain, and Harry had done quite a lot more than he had with three fingers earlier. 

Eggsy felt Harry shifting behind him and heard the snap of the bottle again. Harry turned his head for a kiss and then Eggsy felt the length of Harry sliding between his cheeks. "Relax," Harry whispered. He could make his voice as smooth as silk, turning the word into a sigh. But then Eggsy felt the blunt head of his cock press against him, and it was more than Harry's fingers had been. Harry pushed slowly and Eggsy felt himself stretch. 

Eggsy couldn't keep his eyes from widening, or his hands from grasping at the sheets. Even with preparation, it hurt. Eggsy felt like he must be on the verge of splitting apart, and his body shook at the thought, but he didn't feel the expected lance of pain that would come with injury. His body only burned with a taut sort of aching, and Harry paused just past his entrance.

The boy's head began to swim before Eggsy realized he was only taking shallow breaths. He warily filled his lungs, but the movement wasn't enough to cause any more pain. 

It took Eggsy a moment to realise Harry was making a low shushing sound and petting his hair. One of Harry's arms wound underneath him and held him close. Harry touched him like he was trying to ease the burn. He didn't push any farther, and Eggsy realised it was that outer muscle stretching over the head of Harry's cock that hurt the worst. With Harry not moving it wasn't so bad, but Harry would have to move again. He waited and continued to sooth Eggsy with touches and soft sounds. Harry was waiting for him to grow accustomed to the stretch of Harry inside him, or he was waiting for Eggsy to back out.

Eggsy wanted to back out. He wanted to say that he was too scared, but he couldn't bear the thought of Harry thinking him a coward. He knew that Harry wouldn't show his disappointment, but he would be disappointed. It would go unsaid until the next time Harry asked for this.

Yet in the end, Eggsy's courage failed. He was young, and this was his first attempt, and he was too afraid of how it might hurt worse. Eggsy held onto Harry as best he could with the older man draped atop him, but some amount of babbling escaped him. Eggsy wasn't even paying attention, but he could feel Harry shift behind him in response.

Harry pulled back very, very slowly, and only by inches, but he didn't pull out. "You're so strong for me, Eggsy. So brave," Harry whispered against his temple, and Eggsy was certain he'd said something about the pain that Harry understood, even if it was incoherent. But still Harry waited with his calming words and gentle hands, pressing no farther. "Are you alright?" he asked at last when Eggsy's whimpers had quieted. 

Eggsy nodded slowly. He still ached, but not as badly. Eggsy suspected that he'd ache for some time. He felt incredibly vulnerable, not torn, but slowly teased open until everything fragile was exposed. More, even, than just his body. Eggsy felt like one wrong move would make Harry break something deeper and less tangible. "Yeah, I... I don't think I can. It just hurts, it doesn't feel good. I think I'm too small still."

Eggsy could feel Harry take a breath against his back, long and slow, and then he was kissing Eggsy's shoulder. There was a moment of hesitation between them, of Harry thinking, considering, but then he gave Eggsy another gentle kiss. 

"Okay. It's alright. You were very brave," Harry reassured him. "Hold still." Eggsy felt him move a hand down between them, felt Harry's touch trail down his backside to help guide Harry out. It was another stretch over the head and Eggsy felt every bit of it, but when it was over, both of Harry's arms wrapped around him and drew him up to Harry's chest. 

There was no hiding that Eggsy was upset. The boy tucked his head and tried to hide his face and, with that, his tears. Not from pain, but from worry about what Harry might think of him. Once Harry had pulled out his body had continued to complain with a dull ache, but he didn't actually hurt. His body wasn't injured, but his confidence was. "'m sorry. I just thought... maybe I could do it." Eggsy whispered as Harry held him close and rubbed small circles into his back.

"No, Eggsy," Harry bent to catch Eggsy's eye. "Hush now, it's not your fault. You will." Harry placed kisses over the side of his face, even through the tears. "You will. It doesn't have to be now. You've been doing wonderfully, never having such experiences before. I'm not upset." Harry didn't look upset. His eyes were warm and kind in that strange way that only Harry's could be. It wasn't a smile, but it _was_. Eggsy had never met anyone who could give the impression of such a thing before. "No need to rush." Harry wiped away the tears he could reach. 

"I just wanted..." To impress and please Harry. That had been at the core of it. Eggsy had felt it, but he hadn't really been thinking about it. After his own climax, and with Harry behind him and fantasies filling the boy's head, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. "I missed you, and we'd never tried it before."

Harry nuzzled against his ear. "I know. I am glad you tried for me." Harry continued pressing kisses over what parts of Eggsy weren't bundled up against his chest, like he was trying to let Eggsy see that Harry didn't feel rejected or disappointed, that he was still very much interested. "You have nothing to be ashamed of." With that, Harry lifted Eggsy's chin, forcing the boy to look at him without furtive glances. 

The lack of judgment in Harry's face helped. Eggsy still looked disappointed, but he was becoming less worried that Harry was going to be upset with him. Harry had told him he'd done well, and that he was brave. That mattered more than anything. Eggsy met Harry's gaze with red-rimmed eyes that only accented the blue of his irises, but his tears were fading. Everything was going to be alright. "'m really glad you're back with me, Harry."

"I'm glad to be back." Harry gave him a real smile then. It was small, but it was something to loosen the tension in Eggsy's chest just a little more. Harry rolled so that they were on their sides and Eggsy couldn't hide any longer, but Harry didn't let him get far. Harry was still hard and they were still pressed together and he had to be feeling the throb of it. Still he waited for Eggsy without complaint and he didn't try to rush things back along. It could have been intimidating, having what had just been inside Eggsy still straining insistently against him, but Harry was making sure Eggsy was okay again instead of asking for more.

Eggsy soaked up the attention. Had Harry been insistent, the boy would have felt differently, but Harry was nothing but supportive. Eggsy curled up closer to Harry and rested in the circle of his arms, but every now and then he looked down. Sex was still new, and the sight of a cock that wasn't his own was still a novelty and difficult to ignore. Seeing things in real life was very different than seeing illustrations or hearing descriptions, after all.

Staring led to curiosity, which led to touching. Eggsy was hesitant at first, but when his fingertips made contact they slid. Harry was still quite slick from earlier.

The sound Harry made was certainly appreciative. Even his eyes slipped closed. If that little bit of a touch got such a reaction out of Harry, the man was still incredibly worked up. His fingers grasped at the back of Eggsy's neck, but it wasn't a motion for him to stop. It was Harry trying not to move, Eggsy realised. 

Harry was trying to hold back until he was absolutely sure that Eggsy was ready again, that he even wanted to finish, but he could do nothing to hide how interested that portion of himself was. The muscles in his thighs tightened and Harry's hips pressed into the touch, searching for more.

Eggsy kept stroking, light and slow at first and growing more confident as Harry stayed still and refused to pressure him. The boy took advantage of Harry's closed eyes to study him - how his expression changed or certain muscles tensed with the right stroke or touch. The silence between them felt awkward, as Eggsy didn't know if he was supposed to talk, and he was too embarrassed to say anything even if he was expected to. Harry's hips shifted forward again, and still he didn't move. "...Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry let out a small breath. "Yes." He wetted his lips. "It just feels very, very good." He opened his eyes to look at Eggsy and slowly his hips began to move into the rhythm. 

Harry looked a little dazed. It lessened the intensity of his gaze. He may have wanted to do more, but he wasn't letting himself. He was now moving to Eggsy's lead, thrusting more the more Eggsy stroked with confidence. Eggsy felt fingers in his hair and the additional slickness of precum on his fingers as Harry watched him. Harry nuzzled into Eggsy's jaw and it felt like a wordless plea. 

Eggsy didn't know what to make of that. He felt warm and supported, but more than that, he felt powerful. The shift was dizzying, considering that he'd just been pinned underneath Harry and terrified that the wrong move was going to tear him open, and now Harry was almost... submissive. He wasn't asking for anything in words, and Eggsy was certain that Harry wouldn't complain or punish him if he didn't give Harry what he wanted.

But Eggsy wanted to. He'd missed Harry, and he liked Harry like this - letting him do whatever he wanted at his own pace. Eggsy liked that he got to explore and take his time, learning what he enjoyed and what Harry enjoyed as well. Eggsy's other hand traveled down to join the one already wrapped around Harry's cock, and the look that summoned in Harry's eyes made the boy smile. "That too?"

" _Oh yes,_ " Harry sighed. His lips pressed to Eggsy's neck and lingered there. Harry's breaths deepened and Eggsy felt every one against him with the way they were pressed so close. He also could feel Harry's dick _twitch_ in his hand. 

Harry had been waiting without stimulation for a long time and now that he was getting it, his body was reacting like an instrument. Every touch Eggsy gave him got a reaction and for the first time it wasn't Harry leading. They had done this just enough though that Eggsy knew what was coming and what Harry's body would do. And want. Harry held Eggsy in his arms and let the boy do as he liked. 

Stroking was easier with two hands. Eggsy's smile grew wider and more impish with every groan and twitch Harry gave him. Eggsy was very much enjoying himself. The fact that he could do _this_ to Harry... was quite an ego-boost, particularly as he hadn't even had much practice. The boy glanced down, watching the slick head appear and disappear between his palms, and after a moment Eggsy shifted a bit lower and one of his hands let go. Eggsy tried to remember what Harry had done to him, but his attempt at finding and pressing against the tender skin of Harry's perineum was made more awkward by Eggsy's shyness and the fact that he'd never tried this particular trick before.

Harry made a soft sound. It wasn't one of surprise or censure, but simply an "oh". Eggsy was going to have to press harder than he'd expected to move the flesh there the right way. For Harry' who's fingers were stronger and who knew exactly what he was looking for, it hadn't been difficult at all. For Eggsy, it was not so, but then Harry reached down, catching Eggsy's finger and applying pressure in a slow, stroking motion that had his eyes closing again and a look of awe upon his face. Harry made the movement a couple times before he let Eggsy try on his own. He hadn't been able to know if he was doing it right without feeling it from Harry's side, but Harry's face told him the man was definitely feeling something. 

Eggsy's gaze flickered between watching what he was doing and watching Harry's face. He loved looking at the older man's body, clothed or unclothed, but Harry's body wasn't what was causing Eggsy's heart to constrict in his chest. Harry's expression was doing that, all the hunger and awe and something softer filtering through. Eggsy found himself wishing he had a picture to keep and tuck away in an album like the one he'd found in Harry's garage, just so he could see it and remember whenever he wanted.

The times they had done this before, Harry had always wrapped his hand around Eggsy's, but this time he left Eggsy alone even if his grip wasn't so strong and his hand wasn't big enough to touch all of Harry. Eggsy focused his attentions around the head and the approximate spot Harry had shown him behind his balls, but from the way Harry began to slowly and subtly _writhe_ under his hands, it was working. 

Harry began panting as Eggsy's efforts redoubled. Both his hands wound in Eggsy's hair and the stare the man gave him was practically delirious. It would have been disquieting if it had been anyone but Harry. 

It would even have been disquieting on Harry had they been in another situation. 

Eggsy wished he was taller. If he was bigger, he'd be tall enough to be able to kiss Harry while he did this. He wouldn't have trouble just using one hand. He'd be big enough for them to do other things without having to worry about him getting hurt. Wishes didn't change reality, though, and Eggsy would take what he could get. Harry didn't seem to mind that his hands were too small to circle all the way around, or that he had to pick between kisses and being touched in the right way.

Eggsy licked his lips, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration, and moved his hand faster. Harry seemed so close, and Eggsy wanted to do this for him for the first time without being guided all the way to the end.

He could hear it when Harry's breaths shortened, feel it when Harry's hips began to drive into his hands with little thrusts of their own. The way Harry's hands tightened in fistfuls of Eggsy's hair was the last sign before Harry came, squirting warm fluid in Eggsy's hand and wrapping Eggsy in his arms and holding him tight as his hips snapped through the last of it. Eggsy could hear his name muffled into his own scalp as Harry bent over him and breathed. 

Harry didn't move and didn't let go either, not until at least a minute had passed and he began to relax, loosening his hold around Eggsy.

Eggsy spared a glance for the mess coating his hand, but only one. Harry was more important, and Eggsy was rapt upon the older man's face, looking for approval. The boy knew that he'd done well - he wouldn't have had such results if he hadn't - and Harry appeared relaxed and pleased, but that wasn't enough. Eggsy wanted to hear Harry _say_ so. He wanted, on some level, to make Harry so pleased that he wouldn't think of leaving, even if Eggsy knew Harry would have to go on work trips anyway. "You ok, Harry?"

A slow smile spread across Harry's face before the man laughed. It was joyful. "No." Harry turned and pulled Eggsy up with him to more of an equal height. " _No_ , I am utterly ruined. Look what you've done to me." But there was love and delight in Harry's eyes and his fingers traced Eggsy's face as Harry placed a kiss to his mouth before falling back upon the bed, boneless. He was a mess, but strangely all the more interesting for it with a satisfied smile upon his face and tired eyes, his hair mussed and his body bare, exposing a great many scars and bruises and the texture that came with age, such a contrast to Eggsy. 

Eggsy drank the sight in for a long moment. Harry's love was reflected back to him with fragile innocence, and Eggsy reached out to touch him before the boy caught sight of his hand and pulled a face. His fingers flexed, and that made it worse; a bit ran down the side of his hand and dropped onto Harry's chest. "I don't know if I'm ever gonna get used to _that_ bit," Eggsy grumbled. "Lotta extra washing an' sticky sheets."

Harry just laughed and reached for the box of tissues by the night stand. He wiped Eggsy's hand and the extra mess on their stomachs before he tossed it in the bin and pulled Eggsy down with him. "Absolutely worth the trouble, I'd say." He let Eggsy look at him then, and Harry very much enjoyed watching Eggsy in return. 

Eggsy's eyes were no less curious, no less lingering than they'd been many times Harry had taken him to bed and Harry had to wonder if Eggsy would always be so awed with him. And yet, Harry could not take his eyes away from Eggsy either. The way he laid atop Harry put his rear wiggling in the air to get comfortable. If Harry had not been so spent, the sight would have made him hard again in an instant. 

"'Course you think it's worth the trouble, you're the one doin' it." Eggsy never would have gone to bed early before Harry came into his life. He'd always fought to stay up as late as he possibly could, but right then, Eggsy could see the appeal in turning in for an early night in bed, just as long as Harry came with him.

"So, now that I'm sleepin' in here again..." Eggsy shot Harry his most beseeching look - the one that had usually worked with his mother, even though she laughed and told him that she could see right through him. "It's kinda both our room, isn't it? Does that mean I can have some of my stuff in here, maybe some posters?"

"Oh no." Harry visibly cringed. "If I have to wake up in the morning and see some alternative rock band staring at me, well. Well...." Harry didn't seem to know how to finish that sentence. He glanced almost warily down at Eggsy's widened eyes, clear green and not a hint of blue in the low light, and then Harry tore his gaze away, reaching to untangle the covers. "Goodnight, Eggsy." 

Eggsy pouted, but he'd expected as much. Harry didn't get many visitors that he'd seen, but if someone like Landon came over unexpectedly, it'd be difficult to hide everything so that they couldn't see things through the doorway. "G'night, Harry." He watched the older man smooth things out and pull the covers over them both. Eggsy felt strange, not changing into pyjamas beforehand, but once Harry curled an arm around him and pulled him closer, Eggsy decided he'd give it a try. Warm, bare skin against his own felt better than fabric, anyway.

Harry nuzzled a kiss into Eggsy's hair and Eggsy could feel the smile hidden there. "I love you, Eggsy. My sweet boy," Harry whispered so soft Eggsy couldn't be sure the man had said it at all. Harry sighed and relaxed, and his lazy touches slowly drew Eggsy down into a comfortable lethargy, and finally, sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

The next week saw Harry busy at work and Eggsy stuck in school, his friends begging him to come over after and if he really couldn't, then skip and come over anyway. He got to see many of them there, but not all, and they still hadn't given him up for a lost cause. It was his mother's visit, however, that was truly looming over the week. Harry had gotten another call from Rhonda to confirm the date and time. She informed them the visit was not required to be supervised, but gave Harry a number to call if conflict arose. He gracefully assured her it wouldn't. 

Harry was taking things rather well in fact. He'd offered Eggsy some tips to get out of uncomfortable conversations, but had noticeably not pressured him into doing or saying anything more or less than he felt comfortable with. All in all, Harry didn't seem nervous in the least.

Eggsy wasn't so self-assured. He hadn't seen his mother in some time now, at least by the standards of a young boy. His eagerness to see her was overshadowed by his anxiety. Michelle wasn't going to be happy with Harry, and Eggsy knew that he was going to be questioned about how things were going in the Hart household. Michelle was also going to ask about how much Eggsy had missed her, and about his desire to come home with her. Eggsy felt nervous and terrible about lying, in both directions; he was afraid of revealing too much and putting Harry in danger, and also afraid of speaking the truth and breaking his mother's heart.

He was left to wait through the day in cold anxiety, and even when he got home and Harry had picked up around the house and was already making dinner preparations for his mother's arrival, Eggsy had to wait even longer. When Harry saw the way he was lingering around the hallway, however, he put Eggsy to work, helping him set out the plates, pick out the juice, hand Harry vegetables. Harry didn't say as much, but it may have been for Eggsy's sake that he chose to forgo a bottle of wine for the occasion, knowing that Eggsy had never liked his mother drinking. 

Eggsy would have been the only one at the table with juice, besides, and Harry didn't like the thought of widening the divide between him and the adults. 

Eggsy clung to Harry's side as much as he could before his mother arrived, when he knew that he'd have to maintain an illusion of distance. The boy gladly fulfilled tasks so long as they kept him near Harry, and only reluctantly left the room to arrange the place settings, fill the water glasses, and take Mr. Pickle out to keep him from begging and getting underfoot.

Eggsy was just glad that Harry wasn't making him change. Trying to navigate the situation while uncomfortable would have made things all the more difficult. Eggsy knew, too, that his mother would be sensitive to anything that was new and, thus, a gift from Harry. She'd always tried so hard to provide for them both that wearing clothing that was entirely gifted from Harry might upset her, and so Eggsy changed before she could arrive. He picked a shirt and pair of jeans that he'd gotten back from his Aunt's flat, and Michelle would just have to deal with the fact that they were paired with a new set of sneakers and a zippered hoodie.

Harry didn't comment on it when Eggsy returned. He simply squeezed Eggsy's shoulder and set all the pans to simmer while they waited. He folded Eggsy under one arm and probably would have offered to let him sneak in a bite of the steaks that were sizzling behind them if Eggsy hadn't been so distracted with nerves. 

Harry was dressed to the nines, and although he left his jacket off for the night, he still looked far overdressed compared to Eggsy and certainly Michelle, too. But then again, the idea of Harry dressing down for this occasion would have been even odder. 

Five minutes after the clock struck six, the doorbell rang. It was a jarring sound. If silence could be broken like glass, the air around them would have shattered. Harry's hand brushed over Eggsy's back one last time before he went to the door, Eggsy following behind, and opened it to a dampened Michelle, crouched under a navy blue umbrella that was missing one of its hinges. Her smile looked as watery as the rain behind her when Harry greeted her, but then she caught sight of Eggsy and her face cleared. 

" _Eggsy_ ," she cried softly as Harry ushered her inside, offering to take the umbrella from her hands. 

Eggsy rushed forward to greet her and folded her in a hug as soon as the umbrella was out of her hands. Eggsy could hear Harry move away a short distance to deposit it onto a rug in the front closet to dry. " _Mum_. Are you doin' ok?" His aunt Susan hadn't had all that much to say, out of the brief phone calls he'd received. All that he knew was that Michelle was missing him, working hard, and still fighting the legal system regarding her connections with Dean and his custody.

"I'm okay, baby." Her voice cracked a little as she petted his hair in a familiar gesture, but so different from the way Harry did it. "I'm so, so sorry it's been this long. Missed you so much." Michelle pulled back to look at him. She seemed happy with what she saw, and Eggsy had probably been right to change into clothes she recognised. She looked like she feared he'd already grown up without her. "You been ok here, with...with Mr. Hart?" For a second she looked like she wanted to say more, but closed her mouth and searched his face instead. Harry waited patiently behind them. 

"Yeah. Harry's been really nice." Eggsy had to bite his tongue to keep from saying anything more. He knew his mother wouldn't take too much praise very well. She didn't like Harry, and there was a possibility that she'd get jealous, if only for the fact that Harry was wealthy and providing for him wasn't a struggle at all. "I get to go to my old school and see everyone, and I get to pick out dinner a lot of the time. I've been ok."

Michelle carded her fingers through his hair again, and Eggsy had to resist the urge to pull away in irritation. He didn't want to leave her side, but the way Harry touched him was fonder, while the way Michelle did it... Eggsy felt almost like a pet. It was demeaning instead of an endearment. "I hope you're hungry? I got to help a little with chopping things up and stuff."

Michelle visibly collected herself. "Yeah. I'm hungry. Dinner would be wonderful." Then she looked to Harry and straightened. She was putting on a good front. Eggsy could tell she was trying to be polite, but there was a tension in her face that she couldn't disguise. 

Harry seemed to have no such problem. "Right this way, he gestured Eggsy and Michelle through the hall after she hung up her coat and Harry's face was every bit as warm as Eggsy had known him to be. "Have a seat and I'll serve," Harry directed while Michelle was glancing around the house. "I have a plate of tri-tip steak with Sicilian herb sauce and asparagus." 

Michelle looked as uncertain as Eggsy felt earlier when she glanced to Harry and took a seat, as though she wasn't quite sure whether he was her opponent or her waiter in a restaurant she'd never be able to afford. But she thanked him anyway and sat down while Harry stepped into the kitchen. 

Eggsy took a seat and tried to make her feel at ease, although his own nerves were showing. His feet kicked out absently, and every now and then his heels drummed against the wooden legs. "Stuff's not always this fancy, but, y'know. I thought it'd be nice, and Harry did too."

As soon as they were both seated, Harry began to move. Eggsy watched with no small amount of unease. When it was just the two of them, Harry had never behaved in a servile manner, and it was decidedly strange to see him adopting that sort of behavior while playing host to Michelle.

It was the gracious thing to do, proper and a bit detached--all things Michelle might expect from Harry, but it was still odd. But once they were all served, Harry still sat at the head of the table and there was still a subtle authority in his presense as he unfolded his napkin. 

"It's very good to have you with us, Michelle," Harry said as they all tucked in. 

"Thank you." Michelle looked like she didn't know how to take his courtesy, but after another moment, tried to pick up the conversation herself. "So, Eggsy was telling me you aren't always this fancy, is that right?" She even tried a smile. "Have McDonald's most nights, then?" 

"If Eggsy had his way, I certainly would." Harry didn't miss a beat. 

Eggsy pulled a face. "We've still done burgers sometimes anyways, even if Harry's been a bit picky. I've got to make my toasted cheese sandwiches when I want, though. Harry ain't taught me how to cook, but I bet he could. Although I'm in no hurry. It's kinda nice not havin' to cook." Eggsy had meant to be teasing, but immediately he saw that it had fallen flat. Instead of downplaying how much he'd been bonding with Harry, Michelle had been reminded of how fancy Harry's cooking probably was... and the fact that Harry was around to cook for him, instead of working so often that he had to eat takeout or pre-packaged convenience foods.

Still, she smiled as though she were going along with it, but even Eggsy could see through her. "I'm sure you'd think so, but I'd love a cook 'round the house. Maybe Mr. Hart can teach you a thing or two for when you get back, yeah?" Here eyes lit up a little at that. Michelle was looking at a brighter future as she glanced to Eggsy, looking to share that hope with her son. 

But Harry spoke up before they could connect. "So long as it has nothing to do with wine or fire. You wouldn't believe the dismal attempts I made as a youth. I dare say I nearly burned down my own mother's house." Such a forthcoming anecdote from the usually reserved Harry had its desired effect. Michelle's eyes immediately turned to him. He raised a toast. "I recommend the fire department on call." 

"Hey, I ain't set nothin' on fire yet," Eggsy protested. "Unlike someone that burnt dinner that one time. My record's cleaner than yours." Eggsy hadn't cooked enough for there to be a fair comparison, but he resented the implication that he couldn't be trusted to cook. His gaze was thankful as he met Harry's, however; Eggsy hadn't wanted to answer Michelle's prompt regarding his return to the flat on Rowley Way, and Harry's interruption had been perfect for avoiding the disguised question.  
It brought a small smile to Harry's face, and Eggsy knew why. 

"True," Harry conceded. He turned to Michelle. "I must admit I still get somewhat over-ambitious with respect to my level of talent in the kitchen." 

"Ah." All she could do was nod as though she could imagine Harry setting anything in his house on fire. They ate in silence for a few minutes more, minutes in which Michelle spent reflecting that she did not have any cooking anecdotes applicable to the conversation. Laughing off how awful the chicken tenders of various microwavable dishes was all well and good with her friends, but it would be nothing she wanted to bring up in front of neither Harry nor her son while he lived with the man. 

Harry, however, was a little more adept at conversation. "Rhonda's assured me you've been faring better with the courts lately?"

"Yes," Michelle nodded, "we hope it's finally coming to an end." Even Eggsy could see that it was a minor relief for her to launch into the situation the lawyers and the investigators had given her, to talk about her struggle being almost over while Harry listened attentively. 

"So, they know that you've got nothing to do with Dean's stuff?" Eggsy asked. "I always knew it, it was such boll-... uh, I mean, it was obvious it wasn't true." Eggsy picked at the food on his plate to cover his awkwardness. It was one thing to swear in front of Harry, and another to swear in front of his mother.

"Did... Rhonda or anyone say how things are going to go? Like, are they gonna say you’re not guilty soon?" Eggsy wanted his mother safe and in the clear. What he was nervous about was how much she would insist that he come back to live with her once the legal complications were out of the way. Eggsy knew how little his opinion mattered should Michelle press for Eggsy to live with her again.

"Hopefully," Michelle said and she did indeed look hopeful. Enough even to disregard Eggsy's near slip. "But they're sayin' it'll be a while yet, and it takes so long for them to schedule hearings.... I just wish it would all be over. But I think it will be soon, cause they're giving me some leeway now to see you and Rhonda says that's a good sign. She says they can't keep us apart forever." Michelle finally found the nerve to form a more convincing smile. 

"That is very good news," Harry offered warmly and Michelle seemed to relax at the kindness. Harry looked for a moment like he was unsure whether to speak any further. "Rhonda warned me that they'll have to decide whether to press charges or some such thing regarding your taxes, of which I'd rather not intrude for details, that may hold up the process after this business with your boyfriend is through....but I expect not. Probably just a fine and it'll be over." 

Michelle looked pained at that. Her smile strained. "Hopefully," was all she had to say about that. 

"Don't know why they'd even try. It's not like we've got a lot of money, and the dole ain't enough to eat off," Eggsy complained. He remembered the budgeting all too well, and knowing that he and his mother were both going to be hungry that month based on what they'd gotten and how much they could afford to buy. "They should be going after all the posh businesspeople instead of people who're just strugglin' to get by. No offense, Harry," he added. "I'm talking about those people who just live off their inheritance and squeezin' from the lower classes, spendin' all their time overseas or livin' the high life in the city. They don't give a shit about anyone else."

" _Eggsy_." Michelle flushed. Harry knew she feared him thinking Eggsy had formed such opinions from her, and rightly so. She hadn't made any attempt to hide her views the few times they had met before, but this time she was here only at Harry's welcome. Or she must have felt like it, at the very least. She glanced to her son. "I don't think Mr. Hart wants to hear about all that right now." 

"Well it's perfectly true," Harry interjected unexpectedly before Eggsy could voice his displeasure at being chastised for something Michelle had complained about many times. "You have every right to be angry for doing as much as you can to get by and losing everything still while the misdeeds of others go unpunished." 

Michelle looked at a loss for words at that. 

"You're not like them anyways, so it's not like we're talkin' about you." Eggsy was content to keep going with that. Harry had no reason to take offense, in his mind, because he wasn't in the same category that Eggsy used to think about. Not anymore. Eggsy had been so convinced that the upper classes were all against the poorer ones that it had taken an exception to open him up to the idea that not every rich person was an enemy. 

Michelle's eyes drifted between Eggsy and Harry. 

"I am glad you think so," Harry gave Eggsy a warm nod, "but it doesn't matter whether I might be offended or not." 

Michelle frowned and cut another slice of steak to distract from her expression. Her shoulders held a very subtle droop. Harry was being so kind. He and Eggsy were getting along. Everything Michelle had against Harry, Eggsy was already forgiving him for. 

Conversation settled while they ate in silence, Harry bringing up small talk every now and again to fill in the spaces before it became obvious, but Michelle's responses grew quieter. 

Eggsy could sense that the mood was dropping, but not why. Harry and Michelle hadn't gotten into a fight, and he was getting along with both of them just fine, so the boy couldn't understand why the atmosphere of the room was getting more and more claustrophobic. Once everyone's plates were clean, Eggsy got up to help clear the place settings. He knew that Harry had made a dessert, and he was eager to pull his own weight and show how comfortable he was living there.

Eggsy took a moment to breathe once he dumped a few dishes into the sink for cleanup. His heart was racing, even though Michelle hadn't grilled him or pressured him about coming home.

He heard Harry mention something about said dessert and a moment later Harry stepped into the divide of the kitchen. Michelle could still see them over the counter top, but she remained where she was. Harry moved around Eggsy without hesitation to bring down new plates, open the fridge, and begin dishing up flummery pudding. With just a motion, he had Eggsy retrieving the silverware, and when Harry stepped around him to get back to the fridge, Eggsy felt the squeeze of Harry's hand around his hip. Harry didn't look at him, didn't make any motion that might draw Michelle's attention from her view over the counter, but the reassurance in Harry's touch was quite clear. 

Eggsy didn't dare try to return the touch. He knew that he was being watched, and that Michelle would become suspicious or take it as a sign that Harry was replacing her. He kept himself to helping Harry plate the dessert - some sort of tart that was rich, but not rich enough to be too posh or embarrass Michelle - and carrying the plates back out into the dining room. Eggsy couldn't keep himself from staying as close to Harry as he could manage; even if he couldn't touch Harry, being close was the next best thing. It made the boy ache, but he managed not to close the distance.

Michelle thanked Harry when he and Eggsy laid down the desserts. She even commented on how good it was, and it _was_ good, but Eggsy could tell she was just being polite. Conversation remained as stilted as it had been until their plates were cleared and their stomachs were full. 

It was Harry who rose to take away the dishes that time, and the atmosphere began to change once again. They were reaching the end of what custom usually allowed for in their little meeting, and even Eggsy could feel it. But as Harry returned from the kitchen, Michelle leaned forward and put her hands on the table, took a slow breath, and gazed at him calmly. 

"Do you think it would be okay if I were to take Eggsy on a walk 'round the neighbourhood, just for a minute?"

Eggsy was immediately nervous. He was sharp enough to know what this was - a chance to get him away from Harry. Eggsy didn't know exactly what that might entail, but he was certain part of it was going to include talking to his mother about uncomfortable subjects without any sort of backup.

The boy's gaze flickered back and forth between Harry and Michelle. "I... I mean, I guess it's up to Harry, if he thinks it's ok."

Harry laid his hands carefully against the back of his chair. "I think that would be fine, for a short while." His pleasant demeanour didn't crack, but Eggsy knew Harry must see his fear and must recognise the situation as the very one they had talked about before Michelle's visit. And still Harry did nothing. "I'll get your coat, Eggsy." And with that, Harry made for the hall, stopping only to pick up his briefcase along the way. 

Once Harry was out of the room, Michelle took a deep breath. She met Eggsy's eyes and let him see how tense she was, communicating wordlessly how glad she would be when they were out of the house. 

Harry returned only moments later with Eggsy's jacket on his arm. "There you are. I suggest the gardens across the street, lovely for a walk even at this hour," he told Michelle, who rose and nodded her thanks. 

Eggsy had no choice but to follow his mother down the hall and through the door. He gave Harry one uneasy glance before the door shut behind them and Eggsy was left to walk with his mother.

The relationship between Eggsy and his mother had never been smooth even in the best of times. There were simply too many stressors and complications in their lives. They were very different people, as well, and while some families made those differences work, Michelle and Eggsy had not yet gotten the chance to come to those sorts of agreements. Eggsy fell into stride beside his mother and didn't know what to say or do. What was there to say, after all, to someone he loved, who he felt didn't accept him and would strive to oppose everything he wanted to happen in his life?

Michelle looked around for a minute then made for the street corner, dismissing Harry's suggestion of the small park opposite the end of the mew. She made sure Eggsy was following until they reached a cafe with a few tables and chairs set up along the walk and pulled him into one. She gave a great sigh as she sat down, apparently not noticing Eggsy's discomfort for what it was even though she looked him up and down once he was settled opposite her. She reached across the table to catch his hands. 

"Eggsy, baby, are you alright here?"

"Yeah, mum. I'm fine." His mother's babying just made Eggsy more uncomfortable. It felt like Michelle was more concerned about her own feelings about Harry, and trying to find a way to justify them, than in really asking how _he_ was. Michelle's fingers squeezed around his hands and Eggsy tried not to flinch and duck his head. "Everythin's just fine. I get to see my friends, I'm doin' ok in school, it's all good. It's not like Harry's a monster or somethin'."

Her brows knit together. "I know he's nice, Eggsy, but we barely even know this man. I just...I just really miss you an' I'd rather you were home. Been so quiet without you, it's strange." She gave him a small, hopeful smile. "I just want my son back. Don't care what I have to pay in court. I don't know how it's gonna work out, but that doesn't matter." Eggsy didn't squeeze her hand back, but she didn't let go. 

"Mum..." Part of Michelle's words dug at Eggsy in the wrong way. He nearly squirmed in his seat in response to the way her attention settled on him. "It's been weird without you, too, but... it's not true. That bit, I mean. _You_ barely know him, but I've been livin' with him and I'm startin' to. I know you don't like him 'cause of dad, but I _do_ like him."

Michelle's face fell and she let Eggsy's hand slide free. She put her hand to her head. "This isn't just about him. All these things that have been happening to us...it's been so stressful. I just want you back and I can't.... Eggsy, I just don't trust nobody right now. There's just too much going on. Why is he so nice? What does he have to get out of this? Nobody just helps you out of the kindness of their hearts, not like this. I don't care what he says about knowing your father. Your father had _family_ that wouldn't even help us out." Michelle sighed and rubbed at her temple, her body sinking into the chair. "I'm glad you're ok. An' I'm glad he's nice. I just don't know what I'd do if something ever happened to you."

"Well, maybe dad's family wouldn't help 'cause they're rubbish." They were, as far as Eggsy was concerned. None of them had featured in his life after his father had died, and his mother's family hadn't been much better. His aunt Susan had been terrible. Eggsy could feel himself growing more upset as he thought about it: the way family had treated him, and how Harry was under suspicion for not being blood. His throat closed up and tears rimmed his eyes. "Maybe he's nice 'cause he's actually a nice person, but nobody gives him a break 'cause they think he's just another posh arsehole. He don't seem to have any family left, kinda like us, since dad's family won't give us the time of day and we don't have Nanna no more, and Aunt Sue is too busy for us. Nothin' bad is happening to me, and I ain't gone nowhere, but you're mad at Harry when you should be mad at Dean."

Michelle looked like she'd been slapped. "Dean didn't try to get us into this mess, it was _his_ mess, not ours, an' he's been tryin'a help me out of it, not tryin' to take you away from me." Her voice rose and her words. "If Hart was so goddamn nice he'd have asked me first, he'd have come to _me_. _I'm_ your mother an' _no one_ is gonna take my son away from me." 

Across the street, over Michelle's shoulder, Eggsy caught sight of a police officer heading in their direction. 

"Maybe you shouldn't pick such rotten people for boyfriends!" Eggsy snapped back. "It ain't my fault, or Harry's fault, that you've brought people into the flat who hit you and steal shit and sell drugs. Harry ain't the one takin' me away from you. You're doing a bangup job of that all by yourself, mum."

Eggsy felt frigid at that point. His vision was too watery to be able to see clearly, and he was scared from having really, truly stood up to his mother for the first time in his life. Eggsy saw a motion that must have been Michelle trying to take his hands and he immediately yanked them back into his lap.

"Is that what he's been sayin'?" Michelle gripped the table and opened her mouth again, but a voice from behind interrupted her. 

"Ma'am?" 

Michelle whirled around to find an officer standing behind her, his gaze moving from her to Eggsy and back again. Visibly, Michelle tensed. 

"Is this your son?" She nodded. "I just got a call in about a noise complaint. I'm going to have to ask you to move on." 

"Oh, okay..." With shaking hands, Michelle pushed her chair back and stood, beckoning Eggsy to follow while the officer watched her. "We'll be out of your way." 

"I suggest you get home." 

"Right. Sorry." Michelle clutched Eggsy's hand and set off at a stiff pace back toward Harry's house, shoulders tense and silent. 

Eggsy was just as silent. He hadn't missed the bit of accusation Michelle had let slip, and he wasn't about to forget it. The idea that Michelle thought Harry was telling him what to say and deliberately sabotaging their relationship made Eggsy furious. 

The situation was all the more unfair for the fact that Eggsy loved them. Eggsy loved them both, but right then, his mother was not his favorite person in the world, and he hadn't forgotten how badly she'd reacted when learning he was gay. That only made him all the more wary, because if Michelle was suspicious enough to see manipulation attempts to sour their relationship, she might be suspicious enough to wonder if Harry was more than a friend.

Eggsy could feel Michelle's hand trembling and he didn't know if it was from anger or from fear of that police officer. Perhaps it was a little of both. They turned into the mew and stopped. Harry's house stood at the end, lights on inside like a little beacon amid the wall of houses to either side. Michelle didn't move forward, not even when Eggsy looked up at her. 

It was clear what she was thinking. She didn't want to send him back. She had his hand in hers right then, she could take Eggsy with her and damn the courts. 

"Eggsy...." She glanced down at him and he could see the tumultuous battle in her eyes. But then a figure stepped to the window of Harry's balcony. They both saw it, the silhouette of Harry looking down over the street, right at them. 

Just for a moment, Eggsy was afraid. He'd been afraid of his mother before, but that had mostly been about whether he was going to get into trouble for poor marks, or shoplifting, or skipping school to go with his friends. Her initial poor reaction to learning that he was gay had been the first time he was afraid of _her_ and what she was going to do, and now Eggsy was afraid again. If she tried to take him with her, Eggsy wasn't sure what might happen to the both of them. Michelle's reactions were making it clear that she didn't put much weight behind what Eggsy wanted.

Eggsy didn't want to see his mother hurt, and he was pretty certain that taking him when she was in trouble was the worst possible idea, beyond the fact that she didn't care how Eggsy felt about it. She could get arrested and in more trouble, and Eggsy was pretty certain that she wouldn't be allowed to have any more visitation days.

She swallowed, her eyes on Harry, and began walking again back toward the house. It was a little eerie how he'd come out like that right when they turned the corner, right when Eggsy needed him. But Eggsy wasn't in danger of being kidnapped by his own mother anymore, and that coincidence had been fortunate. 

Harry moved away from the window as they approached the house, and when Michelle opened the door, they found him coming down the stairs. He looked just as calm and inviting as when they'd left. 

"Ah, welcome back. I hope your walk was well?" Harry inquired as Michelle let Eggsy go so he could take off his coat. 

"It was fine. But I'd best be on my way." Michelle sounded tense and hollow at the same time. 

"Very well then." Harry picked up her umbrella and handed it to her. "Do let me know when you'll be visiting again and you'll be welcome." 

She stood a little straighter and stared at him in the most unnerving manner, like she was trying to read him and wasn't at all shy about showing it any longer. Nothing was forthcoming though. Harry's expression didn't change. Michelle nodded and gave him a small “Thank you,” before she turned to Eggsy. 

"I'll see you soon, honey." Those were her last words to him before she stepped back out the door. 

Eggsy watched her head back down the drive with a sense of loss. He felt ripped apart. His mother was walking away from him, in part because she had to, but for other reasons too. Their conversation hadn't had anything to do with how Eggsy was doing and feeling, really, but how Michelle had felt and what she wanted. She hadn't even asked him the question that he'd been dreading, because Michelle had assumed that Eggsy would want to come back with her and would follow her lead. She assumed that he would want what she wanted.

Harry closed the door, and it was only a space of a few heartbeats before Eggsy threw himself against Harry's side and buried his face against Harry's shirt front.

Strong arms wrapped around him and Harry held him right there in the front hall. "I'm so sorry, Eggsy," Harry said as though he could have possibly known what Michelle had said. Maybe it was just that obvious. 

With one motion, Harry bent and scooped Eggsy up into his arms, legs wrapped around his middle, and held Eggsy's head to his chest. Harry carried him down the hall and into the living room before he settled down on the couch with Eggsy wrapped around him. 

Minutes passed before Eggsy felt up to talking. Harry didn't press him, just let him stay as close as he wanted while holding him and stroking one soothing hand down Eggsy's back.

"She didn't even _ask_ me," the boy said, when he finally found his voice again. Thickened and slurred with emotion as it was, Harry had to concentrate to discern what Eggsy was saying. "Didn't even _ask_. Just like always, it don't matter what I think. If I don't agree with her, somethin's wrong with _me_ , or someone's trickin' _me_. She kept being mean about you and when I wasn't havin' it, she... she thought you were tellin' me stuff to say. Like you were some, I dunno, some evil mastermind in some movie, doin' stuff to mess with her just because."

"Oh." Harry turned his head to peer down at Eggsy, but then his fingers began to card through Eggsy's hair. "I'm so very sorry." Harry kissed his temple and held him tighter. "I care for you, Eggsy, no matter what she thinks. I mean that," Harry whispered. He didn't seem to like the thought of Michelle telling Eggsy such things either. Harry's embrace was everything Michelle's wasn't. He paid attention to Eggsy, real attention. He didn't pretend to be Eggsy's father. Harry had made it clear he didn't want to. He didn't want to be a parent and so far that was working out just fine. 

"I know, I just. Why does she think I'm _stupid_?" Eggsy turned his head until he could look at Harry. "Everyone always thinks kids are so _dumb_ , 'specially kids like me. People talk like you ain't there, make decisions for you like you ain't got a brain and can't be trusted, and when they do bother talkin' to you, it's like you're a baby. Or maybe a dog, like a pet or somethin'. Mum never asked me how I felt about her boyfriends she brought home, and Aunt Sue never asked me how I felt about changin' schools or about gettin' rid of me, and now mum doesn't care what I think or what I wanna do, _and_ she thinks I'm so stupid that you're telling me what to do. And it's all just 'cause she don't like you and isn't gettin' her way, and..."

Eggsy lost a bit of his fire and curled closer to Harry, his head tucked again. "'m tired of everyone makin' decisions for me and tellin' me what to do, 'stead of askin' me," the boy murmured.

"I know," Harry soothed. "She's worried for you, but that doesn't mean it's fair. And what your aunt tried to do was frankly despicable. Your mother is used to taking care of you, whether you like it or not, and whether she does a particularly good job of it or not, I'm sorry to say." Harry stroked circles down Eggsy's back and thought for a minute before he spoke again. "I've had a talk with the judge overseeing your mother's case, unofficially. I know your mother was rather optimistic tonight, and it's true that the investigation will likely be dropped, but I've been told that the process, whichever direction it goes, will move far more slowly than Michelle might be anticipating."

"She won't let me see you anymore, if I go back." Eggsy was sure of that now. Michelle had been upset about him being friends with Harry in the first place, regardless of the fact that Harry had taken care of him when things had been dire. She was resentful of Harry still, maybe even _especially_ , now that Harry had taken care of him when Michelle wasn't allowed to and his aunt didn't want him. The moment Eggsy went back to Rowley Way, the boy was certain that his mother wouldn't let Harry visit or let him visit Harry.

And Eggsy had talked to enough friends to know that there was nothing you could do about adults being unreasonable. Not if you were just a kid.

"Likely not," Harry agreed. His fingers curled through Eggsy's hair with an idle sort of tenderness. "Let me look into the legal avenues here.... If you would really rather stay with me, and your feelings on the matter remain for as long as it takes for this investigation to end and for your mother's penalty with the government to be confirmed, there might be a way I could contest her for your guardianship. It would be a long shot, and I'm not certain yet, but...it's possible." 

Eggsy nodded. Of the options, that sounded like it was the best one. If he went back to Rowley Way, he'd not be allowed to see Harry, and he'd have to deal with his mother's disapproval of his sexuality. His friends from school would be scrutinized even more, he'd go back to being hungry all the time, and his mother would get another boyfriend who'd probably be just as rotten as Dean. That was assuming that she didn't take Dean back.

If he stayed, Eggsy would be able to have everything that he wanted, including being able to see his mother. He didn't think that Harry would ever tell him that he couldn't. "Y-yeah. I still want to stay."

"Okay. Then I'll see what I can do. Whatever happens, it won't be all at once. You'll be able to change your mind if you want to." Harry offered a small smile down to Eggsy who had his head turned up in the crook of Harry's chest and shoulder. "But I must admit, I would like to keep you." Harry's eyes grew so soft in that moment, crinkling at the corners and smoothing the furrow in his brows. He ran a finger down the bridge of Eggsy's nose, a gesture oddly intimate, yet devoid of ulterior intentions.

Eggsy didn't know how to respond to that. Harry was looking at him in such a way that Eggsy couldn't doubt that Harry cared for him, if doubts ever occurred to the boy. He knew that Harry was good at keeping his promises. If Harry said he was going to see what he could do, Eggsy was beginning to feel like that meant it would happen. He'd yet to see Harry fail. Even when he'd gotten mugged overseas, he'd still done whatever he went over there to do, as far as Eggsy knew.

But the words rubbed at Eggsy the wrong way. "It... ain't really keeping, though. If I'm pickin' to stay here with you," the boy pointed out. "That's me choosin' to be here, not being kept."

Harry gave a small chuckle. "Well I'm glad you think of it that way. I'd much rather you choose to be here if you're going to be here. The last thing I want to do is become your mother." He was smiling now, looking down at Eggsy, and there was truth to Harry's words. Nothing Harry had done would encourage Eggsy to choose otherwise, and Harry had usually given him the option whenever he made an offer. Harry must have liked something about Eggsy's expression, the determined set of his brow, or his pout, because Harry got that look in his eye he sometimes did when he especially wanted to get close to Eggsy. 

"I don't want you to be my mother either. I'm glad you don't try. Not just 'cause that'd be weird," Eggsy interjected. He shifted a bit, enough to set one ear flat against Harry's chest. There was something comforting about the sound, warm and constant and present. Harry's pulse was rapid, and Eggsy knew enough about what that meant that an impish little smile touched his lips. "I like that you don't treat me like a _kid_. You don't talk down to me and give me no choices but the ones you want."

Harry bent his head and smiled into the crown of Eggsy's. "That would be rather counter-intuitive to me liking you," Harry admitted. It made a strange kind of sense. Harry approached Eggsy from a completely different angle than anyone ever had before. Michelle may have loved him because she was his mother, but she saw herself as a mother first and foremost, when she wasn't fucking it up due to her own stress and avoidance. Eggsy was bound to her by law and by blood, and Harry had no such claim over him. Harry...needed Eggsy to like him if he wanted Eggsy around. 

"Well, I'm glad you do." Eggsy was feeling better already. He'd feel the weight of his unhappiness later, thinking about his mother and everything that had transpired, but right then he was sitting on Harry's lap. Harry was warm, and affectionate, and just a bit excited. Eggsy might not have control over much, but he felt like he had control with what lay between Harry and himself. He wasn't so naive not to realize that it was Harry _giving_ him control, but that was still a sense of power Eggsy could have for himself.

The boy decided to use it. Partly, Eggsy just wanted to forget about what had happened. Partly, he wanted to see Harry unravelled and feel the pride of knowing it was because of him. Part of Eggsy also enjoyed what they'd been doing together and he wanted a bit more right then. Eggsy's hand snuck lower while he thought Harry was distracted, and within a matter of seconds the boy's hand had slipped beneath Harry's waistband.

Harry let out a soft sound when Eggsy's hand encountered flesh. Eggsy looked so sweet pressed against his chest, looking up at him so innocently, with his hand disappearing down Harry's trousers. 

Harry's lips curled. "Is this your way of showing me just how much you appreciate me?" Eggsy felt Harry's fingers at the back of his neck. He felt Harry's hips shift under him, allowing for more space for Eggsy's hand. Harry's knees parted. He could have bent down to kiss Eggsy, but Harry liked watching him just as he was. Harry's length was quickly stiffening in Eggsy's hand. 

"You know that anyways. I'm just windin' you up a bit." The more they did this, the easier it seemed to get. Eggsy remembered being afraid to touch Harry, not knowing if he might accidentally hurt him or do something the older man didn't like. The size difference between them had also been intimidating. Still was, truth be told, but Harry had enjoyed Eggsy's hands on him enough that Eggsy now felt safe taking a bit of initiative, if not entirely confident with what he was doing.

"And what do you plan to do with me once I'm all wound up?" Harry asked, his voice growing richer with every stroke and squeeze of Eggsy's hand. "Wind me up and let me go? Is that your plan?" Finally Harry bent to nuzzle along Eggsy's cheek before he nipped at the boy's ear. His hips began rocking into the little strokes. "Would you like to see how long it would take me before I turn us around and press you into this couch?" His tongue flicked against Eggsy's skin, mimicking the timing of his hips. 

"Would that take very long? 'Cause it don't look like it." Eggsy felt a little jolt of a thrill at the way Harry was playing along, even giving him little hints of danger. The boy didn't believe that Harry would ever _actually_ lose control, or make him do anything that Eggsy didn't want to do. "That's the down side, I guess. It don't take you very long and then you get tired out for awhile."

Only after the words were out of Eggsy's mouth did he listen to what he was saying and flush, realizing that Harry might take offense. "I... I just. I did twice in a row, when you were gone and all, but you don't seem to do that."

Harry just laughed. "Did you, now?" The spark in his eye took on a little more intensity. "It's a little different when you're older, when your body starts changing, you'll notice. It takes a little longer to recover." Harry's breath hitched and his hips snapped up, the mere thought of it getting him excited. Before Eggsy knew it, he was lying with his back against the couch and Harry above him, his hand still down Harry's trousers, caught between their bodies. The groan Harry made was so low it might have almost been a growl. "How many times do you think I could make you come in a night?" he asked, careful with his weight all the while. 

Eggsy's eyes widened, but not from fright. This was a game in his mind. Harry liked to play at holding him down and pinning him in place, and Eggsy would tease him in return. Eggsy took a moment to do just that, wriggling until he managed to slide his hand up a bit. Eggsy’s thumb pressed against the tip of Harry's cock, and he was rewarded with another groan and Harry shifting his hips just a little bit more. "I... I d-dunno. I ain't really thought about it before, not seriously. Um... maybe five?"

Harry grinned into his neck. "Sounds like a challenge, if you think you can handle it." Harry's hands spread Eggsy's knees apart so they fell around his waist. Even with Eggsy's hand between them, Harry laid his weight over Eggsy's hips and with every shallow press, gave Eggsy a bit of friction as well. 

Once again Harry had no qualms over distracting Eggsy from his disappointment in the situation with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for that kind of a cliffhanger! ...but you're sure going to love next week's chapter. ;)


	17. Chapter 17

Harry's hands fell to the hem of Eggsy's shirt and he pulled it up to get at the soft flesh beneath that he seemed to love touching so much. Eggsy's trousers were next, and those Harry had to shift to remove. Only reluctantly did he pull away from Eggsy's grasp in order to get the boy's clothes off, but once Eggsy was bare underneath him, Harry pressed himself back down atop Eggsy and began moving lower.

Eggsy hadn't really expected Harry to go with the idea. Perhaps he should have. Eggsy's thoughts had gotten increasingly incoherent from the moment Harry had flashed him a wicked grin and begun to remove his clothing, and now that he was moving lower Eggsy's thoughts all shifted to one particular focus. His mother was completely forgotten in a trail of nips and kisses. Harry took his time, pausing here and there to sample a taste of the skin that always drew his hands. After a few moments Eggsy realized that Harry was being deliberately slow as a tease.

Eggsy just about groaned. "Harry, you're gonna kill me."

"Am I?" Harry asked. "I think that might be a little overdramatic." He was so calm, so _posh_. When Eggsy looked down the length of his body, he found Harry hovering over his hips with nothing more than a pleasant look about him and a wandering hand under Eggsy's rear. "You must know the expression 'good things come to those who wait'." Harry bent his head to lick a stripe of skin between Eggsy's hip and right where he wanted Harry without breaking eye contact. Harry kissed the spot, moving slowly closer. 

Eggsy made a noise of frustration. "But I don't _wanna_ wait. 'sides, weren't you the one goin' on about... y'know, how tempted you were, and how you were gonna push me down on the sofa?" Eggsy blushed harder as he spoke; evidently he still wasn't used to actually _talking_ about sex, which wasn't much of a surprise considering his age and popular attitudes about such things. Harry had had time to become comfortable with and desensitized to sex.

"Oh, I intend to. But not before I make you want it just as much as I do." Harry's lips curved to hear Eggsy's uncertainty. "And I know one way of making sure of that." 

Finally Eggsy felt the press of Harry's lips to the base of his erection. Harry's tongue flicked out, tasting the skin and giving Eggsy a sensation that was not nearly enough, but glorious all the same. Harry's hands caught his hips and kept him pinned, looking up at him while Harry played with his little cock. 

To someone who was still more or less an innocent, the sight was filthy. Harry was still dressed, and the juxtaposition of fine clothing next to Eggsy's own bare form was a shock of contrast. So was Harry's mouth, lingering and teasing at the base in small, delicate movements when it was clear that Harry could easily swallow him whole. _Had_ , even, and the memory surfaced right on cue and sent Eggsy's blood south.

Harry opened his mouth again to trail his tongue in a slow, deliberate line up along the underside of Eggsy's cock and the boy whimpered. Eggsy knew what he wanted, but he was still too embarrassed to ask.

Harry's lips closed over the head of it and he sucked lightly. Eggsy even felt his tongue circling the little tip and pressing against it. It looked like Harry wasn't going to make him beg after all because Harry kept eye contact and slowly, very slowly, sank down the scant few inches of Eggsy's cock while making sure Eggsy watched all the while. Once there, he let his tongue swirl again and then increased the sucking pressure. Harry never let go of Eggsy's gaze. If Eggsy had wanted to look away, he got the distinct impression Harry might pinch him until he looked back down again. 

Eggsy couldn't stop watching. Something about seeing Harry this way was mesmerizing. The older man still looked as if he had walked right out of a fashion magazine targeted towards a conservative, elite aesthetic, and the sensual mouth that always was so full of polite, proper diction was, instead, full of _him_. Eggsy's mouth dropped open a bit. He couldn't help but reach down. It wasn't enough to see and feel Harry; Eggsy wanted to touch him as well.

Eggsy's fingers encountering Harry's temple was the only thing that finally did get the man's eyes to close. The pleasure that crossed Harry's face was undeniable. He turned his head into Eggsy's hand, letting the boy touch where he liked, even smoothing his fingers into Harry's neat hair. The sensations Harry created with his tongue were Eggsy's reward. 

Harry didn't have to bob his head much, but that certainly wasn't a drawback. The pace of his sucking increased very slowly, but steadily. 

The drawn-out pace was what kept Eggsy right on the edge. Too fast, and Eggsy would have succumbed to overstimulation and climaxed quickly. A slow rhythm gave Eggsy's body time to adjust and constantly want just a little bit more - more speed, more suction, a bit more friction. 

Harry had more patience than Eggsy did. Eggsy was small enough that, unless Harry pulled back a bit, there was no way for him to try to thrust into Harry's mouth or pull his head down. Minutes passed, and more, and eventually the older man had Eggsy panting, a warm flush of color in his cheeks and chest. Small fingers had laced tightly into dark hair and showed no signs of letting go any time soon.

Harry's eyes flashed up at him again and this time they looked darker. Eggsy couldn't be sure it wasn't a trick of the light, but with Harry's intent behind them....he was sure he wasn't misinterpreting that. 

Harry picked up the pace quickly, eyes locked on Eggsy. He gripped Eggsy's hips like he was about to pull his body up to Harry's mouth if he needed to. There was a certain kind of satisfaction behind Harry's gaze as he watched Eggsy's mouth fall open and felt his body begin to tremble. Eggsy strained against him and Harry met the effort with only more force of his tongue. 

" _Harry_ , I-" Eggsy's voice cut off as his body tensed one last time. Harry felt the boy arch, pushing against the sofa to try to get closer, but there wasn't anywhere else to go. Harry had already taken him down to the root. Eggsy went still, and the cock in Harry's mouth twitched in reflex for something he was still too young to accomplish. 

After a few seconds of frozen ecstasy Eggsy relaxed all at once. He let go of the breath he'd been holding and loosened his death grip on Harry.

Harry released Eggsy and placed a kiss to his hip, but didn't move from there. There was anticipation in his eyes as he watched Eggsy come down, pressing idle massages into the opposite side of Eggsy's hip where his fingers curled to hold the boy down. 

"Beautiful," Harry whispered like it was an afterthought, like he was talking to himself more than he was to Eggsy. "You have no idea." Another kiss went to the line where Eggsy's thigh met his hip. 

Eggsy looked down at Harry with a sedated, happy expression. He was still dazed from coming back down, soaking in oxytocin. A smile lit up his face as he focused on Harry, and he began to smooth his fingers through the older man's hair. "So're you, y'know," Eggsy murmured back. "You're... you gotta know, don't you?"

Harry gave a soft, short chuckle. "I know enough." Harry's smile turned a little funny and it was strangely out of place before the unnamed quality was gone again. Harry pressed more kisses to Eggsy's lower stomach. "I am certainly glad you think so," and his eyes were warm when they looked back up at Eggsy, softer than they had been before. Harry reached to his neck and loosened his tie before he pulled it free. He unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, but left it like that, a tempting line of skin dipping down to his chest just for Eggsy to see before he bent his head and nuzzled at Eggsy's hip. "That was number one," Harry said softly, and before Eggsy could realise what he was talking about, he licked another stripe up Eggsy's half hard cock and took it into his mouth. 

Harry's mouth brought the memory back: five. He'd gone and said he could take five rounds. Eggsy hadn't really been thinking too seriously about that when he'd tossed the number out, because he hadn't thought Harry would really follow up on the notion.

Except he _was_ , and soon enough after the first that Eggsy's skin was still tingling and oversensitive. A whine escaped his throat and he writhed until Harry shifted his body and pressed down a bit more with his weight, and Eggsy found himself pinned. There was nowhere to go.

Harry didn't move off even when Eggsy squirmed. He started slowly again though, and that was only a minor relief. Eggsy could quickly tell that this time wasn't going to be as drawn out as the last, however. His body was already ramped up for the point of climax and Harry was only taking his time not to overwhelm him and make it painful. 

Harry's strong hands wrapped around Eggsy's backside, kneading while he worked, and Eggsy knew that wasn't just to keep him down. Harry was _enjoying_ this. Eggsy knew Harry liked touching him, but it was never so clear as it was now in the way Harry pressed his face between Eggsy's legs and revelled in the feel of his arse. 

_Worship_ , that was what this felt like. As Harry kept going, Eggsy's hypersensitivity began to wear off and he began to relax. The fact that he couldn't move didn't bother him, because he didn't want to. He watched with something akin to awe while Harry savored every moment. Eggsy felt Harry's hands move and one finger begin to trace a line down his cleft. Eggsy tried to buck, all in vain, but now the boy's attention was split in two.

Harry's finger dipped down to trace around the muscle hidden there. He pressed only lightly, and it was dry, but now that Eggsy had the knowledge of what it could feel like with that finger inside him, rubbing against the place that drove him mad, the sensation was a tease. Harry left it eventually to rub a little lower, and Eggsy knew now what he intended to do when he stopped between that ring of muscle and Eggsy's balls. Sure enough, Harry's fingers pressing up against the tender flesh brought a new and increasingly familiar sensation into the mix. 

Eggsy strained to move. He couldn't have said if he was trying to get more or trying to get away; everything ran together in his mind in a tangle of sensation. Harry didn't let him budge an inch, nor dictate the pace, and after a while Eggsy started to babble. "H-Harry. _Harry_ , I can't-... God, just, c'mon. I-..."

Eggsy's voice grew strained, and after a few more seconds Harry heard a quiet “ _fuck_ ” roll off of Eggsy's tongue. 

Harry, to his surprise, _groaned_. The way Eggsy had said it, Harry _liked_ it. But Eggsy didn't have time to think long on that when Harry picked up the pace, focusing the sucking heat of his mouth into the rhythm Eggsy needed while his finger pressed in slower counterpoint against that spot somewhere inside him. It was a combination meant to take Eggsy over and it was doing the trick, bringing his body right back to the precipice it had fallen over only minutes ago. 

Eggsy's small body jerked under Harry, and Harry felt the cock in his mouth harden just a bit further as the boy's second climax overcame him. Eggsy gave a choked off cry, and after a few seconds he went limp. This time he seemed even more relaxed than before, his eyes closed while he tried to catch his breath. Eggsy's heart was pounding; Harry could feel his pulse humming in the femoral arteries in the boy's thighs.

Harry pulled off and loosened his hold on Eggsy. He placed more kisses over Eggsy's stomach and the boy felt them in a haze. His chest was heaving and Harry laid his head over it. Like he was feeling that Eggsy was alive. Gently, Harry's hand stroked down Eggsy's side. After another minute for Eggsy to catch his breath, Harry lifted himself to place a kiss upon Eggsy's lips, slow and languid. His hand reached over the side of the couch and fumbled around for something. Harry's briefcase, Eggsy realised, but when Harry straightened again, he was holding a bottle of lubricant. 

Eggsy blinked. It took him a moment to recognize the object and piece together what it implied. When he did, a little smile tugged at his mouth. "...oh. Is that for...? Fingers, like before?" Eggsy felt warm and relaxed all over, but he remembered how good Harry's fingers had felt. Harry knew what he was doing, and if the man was intent on holding him to a count of five, fingers sounded like a good idea. Eggsy still felt fine, but too much pressure on the outside was bound to leave him feeling sore later.

"Mmhm." Harry quirked a smile. "Seeing as how you've become such an ambitious little thing...." The popped the cap and let Eggsy watch him spread the liquid over his fingertips. Harry nudged Eggsy's legs apart and reached down between them. He ignored Eggsy's cock, and right then that was probably for the best, instead slipping his fingers right where they'd been before, painting lube between Eggsy's cheeks and over that ring of muscle. With a little more added, Eggsy felt Harry's finger begin to press inside. 

The process went quicker than before. That may have been reflective of the fact that Eggsy had experienced this a few times now, but it was far more likely that the boy's current state made things easier. Two climaxes had left Eggsy pliant and awash in endorphins; he still felt Harry's finger breach him and the slide of skin against muscle, but he no longer found it alarming and alien. It didn't seem to burn at all, and before long Harry could move his finger quite easily.

When Eggsy began watching with interest, Harry got to work. His strokes searched out the spot inside Eggsy that had him squirming again and slowly Harry resumed his pace. He drew himself down Eggsy's body and again took Eggsy's erection into his mouth. 

This time the sensations together were almost overwhelming. Eggsy's body was still buzzing from his last climax. It should have been harder to get him going again, but it wasn't. Not with Harry doing what he was doing with both his finger and his mouth. Not with the way his hair was starting to fall in his face and give him that dishevelled look Eggsy loved. 

And not, most particularly, when his youth was considered. Eggsy wasn't old enough for his body to completely spend itself in climax, so refraction was minimal. Eggsy no longer writhed with quite the same energy, but he was gamely keeping up. He looked down like he couldn't get enough of the sight of Harry, and his eyes lingered on the length of neck left exposed after Harry had loosened his tie and collar. Eggsy began fantasizing again, undressing Harry with his mind and pretending that he was feeling more than just a finger.

Harry moved like he was privy to Eggsy's thoughts, turning his head just a little while he thrust with his tongue so that Eggsy could see more. Eggsy noticed that Harry was draped over the couch with his legs half atop it and his hips pressed into the cushion, not grinding, but definitely pressing. If Harry had been moving like that, it would have almost meshed with Eggsy's fantasy. 

When Eggsy bit his lip and his body began to tense and squirm into Harry's strokes, Harry quickened the pace again. As soon as he thought Eggsy was ready, it became a ruthless motion, designed for only one outcome. 

Harry felt the body around his finger clench tighter, and this time it was fortunate that Harry's house had been soundproofed. Instead of holding his breath or gasping, Eggsy gave a cry that was loud enough that someone might have heard it and been concerned. Most adults were familiar with the sounds associated with sex, and no one would be expecting to hear such a cry from a child's voice.

Eggsy reached out blindly as he came back down, seeking out Harry and trying to pull him closer.

He caught the man and managed to bring him up to Eggsy's level, he found Harry grinning with delight in his eyes. Eggsy clung to him and Harry lavished kisses over his cheeks and collarbone. He held the back of Eggsy's head and caressed his skin. Most notably though, Harry watched Eggsy's face, gauging what he was feeling. 

There were beads of sweat on Eggsy's temples now and there was certainly a heavy flush to his skin. Harry's eyes lingered on his cheeks and even the tips of his ears with an expression that looked a lot like pride. And hunger. 

Harry drew closer, right up against Eggsy's mouth. "You've been biting your lip," he said, catching the bottom one lightly between his own teeth. 

"Yeah, well, you've been givin' me _reason_ too," Eggsy shot back. He was tired, but not quite tired enough to not sass back, something that had been happening more often the longer he was with Harry and the more comfortable he became. Harry was doing his best to instill confidence in Eggsy, and as he succeeded, Eggsy’s shyness had begun to melt away. Eggsy didn't bother disguising the way he drank Harry, who was looking more than a bit debauched - his hair was thoroughly dishevelled and his lips had reddened from pleasuring Eggsy that way. Eggsy tried to straighten up and look more authoritative and less like the reality, nude and ravished while Harry was still fully clothed and not even breaking a sweat. "Have I tired you out yet?

"Oh no," Harry assured him, "I have far more in store for you yet." There was a look in his eye that said he was telling the truth and he slipped out of Eggsy's grasp to prove it, winding his way with soft kisses down Eggsy's body until he was nestled between his legs again. Harry dragged his teeth in a light nip over Eggsy's thigh to get his body's attention and with a little more lube on his finger, Harry pressed inside. This time, however, he moved back up to lean next to Eggsy for a hungry kiss. Eggsy was so pliant at that point Harry could deepen it with no resistance or accommodation. The fingers of his free hand closed around Eggsy's cock and once again he began to work up a rhythm. 

Eggsy couldn't even writhe anymore. He clung to Harry as much as he was able, kissing him while Harry slowly drove him mad. He wasn't so far gone that he didn't notice Harry pause to retrieve the lubricant again, or the slight burn when he worked a second finger inside of him, but Eggsy already felt so relaxed that it didn't seem nearly as uncomfortable as it had the first time they'd tried it. Harry did his utmost to keep Eggsy's senses overwhelmed, teasing and nipping at his mouth while his hands worked in tandem.

Harry moaned whenever Eggsy's thigh brushed against his crotch, which was increasingly often in this position, but it didn't distract him from his goal. His pace was quicker from the start this time. Eggsy's body was growing accustomed to melting right into Harry's hands. 

"The things I could do to you like this...." Harry whispered against Eggsy's mouth. He gave a particularly strong thrust of his fingers just to watch Eggsy's face screw up with the pleasure of it. He bent down to bite at Eggsy's lip. 

It was a marvel how habituated Eggsy was becoming to Harry's closeness, of being wrapped around the boy, half on top of him, half inside him, preventing him from moving, even capturing and taking control of his mouth. 

"Like... wh-what?" Eggsy managed to whisper back once Harry pulled back to let him breathe. The boy was overwhelmed but not frightened, although attempting this even several weeks ago would have left him wide-eyed, pale, and more than a bit panicked. He didn't mind being so completely encapsulated by Harry because he wanted to be close. It no longer occurred to him to feel embarrassed thinking about what he must look like, or what they were doing, because he enjoyed it and Harry enjoyed it. To Eggsy, nothing else should really matter and it was nobody else's business.

"Two more and I'll show you," Harry whispered. "You'll be surprised....just how gorgeous you are." Harry squeezed again and when Eggsy's back arched, he kept up that pressure, a quick, intense series of thrusts that had Eggsy's toes curling and Harry panting in his ear just to see the sight of it. Harry's body was growing very warm underneath his clothes. Eggsy could feel it now that he was pressed against the man, squeezed together on the couch. Harry took the opportunity of Eggsy's distraction to catch his earlobe between his teeth.

Eggsy gasped at the sharp feeling and his eyes flew open in shock. He couldn't turn his head while caught like that, but his eyes tried to seek out Harry at the edge of his vision.

Eggsy had nothing to compare this too, in more than just the physicality of what they were doing. He felt like he'd lost control. He'd given himself over to Harry, who'd removed his options and begun to play him like an instrument, coaxing sound and movement and sensations from him. Eggsy was frightened of the way his body was going forward without him, dragging his mind along behind it, and all to the directions of Harry's tongue and fingers... but he still trusted. Eggsy trusted Harry not to hurt him, and everything felt too good to want to stop.

Harry showed no signs of slowing down. He was usually so attentive that it was hard to tell just how aware he was of what Eggsy was feeling when he was like this. Eggsy caught glimpses of Harry staring into him, but Harry wanted this, too. The way he pressed against Eggsy said as much even if he wasn't indulging himself. 

Harry's teeth moved away from Eggsy's ear to press into his neck. It wasn't a hard bite, but it was one that recalled the time Harry had bit his hip and Eggsy had been startled by it. This was just one more thing to keep him down under Harry's hands. 

Surprisingly, Eggsy felt an answering rush of heat. Something about Harry's mouth there, with a hint of sharp edges against tender skin, hit a nerve. Eggsy's eyes closed as his body tightened up until he was right on the edge for the fourth time that night. Harry's mouth shifted to a different spot on his neck, and Eggsy felt something akin to a chill while his skin broke out into gooseflesh. It was almost enough that he didn't notice a slight burning sensation - Harry had slipped another finger into him. By then, he was so relaxed that Harry didn't seem to have any trouble.

Harry hadn't even needed to warn him. The second finger didn't slow the pace and it didn't take away from the feeling inside him. Both curled up to focus small strokes against his sweet spot and Harry moaned at the feel of Eggsy's legs spreading wider. Harry's thumb kept up a clever roll over the tip of Eggsy's erection. If Harry had done that for the first several times, if he hadn't used his mouth, Eggsy would likely have been sore by then. But Harry knew what he was doing, and somehow this turned into too much and yet not enough all at the very same time. 

Eggsy tried to move against Harry's hands again. When Harry wasn't moving quick enough, or quite in the right way, Eggsy would shift or angle his hips. Harry still had his legs pinned, but both of the older man's hands were now occupied. Eggsy first tried to bring him back down for another kiss, then tugged at Harry's clothing.

He got only a breathless laugh for his efforts. Harry was unwilling to move away. He did, however, begin moving into Eggsy's touches both with his hands and with his body. When Eggsy shifted his hips, Harry was there to meet him. When Eggsy pulled on the back of Harry's shirt, Harry came with it and draped himself over Eggsy. He let Eggsy kiss him when Eggsy wanted to, but Harry took control of it. Eggsy's desperation was met with Harry's force. Eggsy's hands clutching his shirt were little use. 

Eggsy didn't see how he was being led. Harry had enough experience with sex to know precisely what to do - what would overwhelm, how much would cause desensitization that would leave a partner craving something more and different, what techniques to use to tease or prepare a lover. Eggsy was maneuvered right onto the edge of orgasm and kept there until a keening whine escaped his throat. Eggsy made a sound of protest when Harry briefly let go of his cock, and _didn't_ when Harry ever-so-carefully slid a fourth finger into him. The boy trembled, and a spark of suspicion finally lit up his eyes. "...Harry?"

Harry shifted up to his ear, laying on his side and looking down Eggsy's body, subtly directing Eggsy's attention that way as well, before he turned his head and spoke softly. "Yes, Eggsy?" 

The question would have been every bit as composed as Harry's usually were, were it not for the breathlessness in Harry's voice. It was a strange mixture of desire and control because Harry _was_ in control. What he was doing to Eggsy's body was proof enough of that. 

Eggsy looked down, swallowed, and shut his eyes for a moment before looking back at Harry. The boy was still flushed and desperate, with sweat beading on his brow. He wanted Harry, but it was clear that he was afraid of what might be coming. He remembered the first time they'd tried, and how he thought he was going to split in two until Harry pulled out. "I... I d-don't... know if I can."

"Then you don't have to," Harry reassured him. "This is simply what your body can do when you're relaxed." It still didn't hurt, not even when Eggsy was worried. Harry had tired him out. Harry nuzzled at Eggsy's ear. "Just go with it, let your body do what it will. I won't take it any further than you want." Harry had reason to be confident that Eggsy could take more, but Eggsy could not remember Harry ever crossing his boundaries before. 

Harry glanced down to where his hand was still working Eggsy open. The angle was a little off with Harry reaching down, but his arms were long enough for it.

Eggsy was expecting pain and discomfort. He nearly felt the ghost of it, looking down and assuming it would be there. Harry felt strange inside of him, but other than that, there was nothing but his own worries. Eggsy felt stretched wide, and he could certainly feel Harry's fingers sliding into him, but the pain he had expected was absent. Harry teased him now and again, delving a bit further in and crooking his fingers upwards, but no matter how Eggsy worried, his body stayed relaxed.

Harry kept a close watch on him for a while. It was hard to tell just how much of Eggsy's thoughts showed on his face, but as usual Harry seemed to read him like they were written there. With one more kiss to Eggsy's lips, Harry drew down his body again, never ceasing the rhythm of his hand. Harry's mouth took over where the fingers that had been wrapped around Eggsy's cock were before. Pleasure enveloped him. Harry was heat and wetness and gliding, glorious friction. From that angle, his fingers slid in just a little deeper. 

Much to Harry's delight, Eggsy gasped and his legs spread a little wider. The boy felt drunk on pleasure. Worried as he was, Harry's fingers slid into him easily and without pain, and the older man's mouth formed a counterpoint. It was all Eggsy could do to hold on, and even then he didn't last that long. Once Harry sped up, his fingers curling upwards while his tongue laved at Eggsy’s cock, Eggsy arched up against him with a soft cry and collapsed against the mattress for the fourth time that night.

Harry's fingers slipped out of him. When Eggsy glanced down, breathless and hazy, he saw Harry's lips curve before he pulled off and lifted his head to look at Eggsy. Harry had probably the most self-satisfied expression Eggsy had ever seen. His tongue darted out to lick the corner of his mouth. As though he had something to taste but Eggsy's skin and sweat. 

Harry crawled up Eggsy's body, looped one arm on either side of him, and gave him a very indulgent kiss. 

"Have I worn you all out?" Harry whispered. 

"N-no," Eggsy insists stubbornly, mostly because of what he said earlier. He said _five_ , after all, and it's only been four. Even if the boy wanted nothing more than to roll over and go to sleep, pride was on the line. Harry had gotten him off four times and if Harry wasn't tired, Eggsy could hardly admit defeat. "Not worn out. Just need a minute."

"Good," Harry's voice all but purred in his ear. Harry's long fingers drew down Eggsy's heaving chest. Brown eyes that had darkened sometime since dinner watched them as they went. 

Harry might not have had a care in the world but for indulging in Eggsy's body and what he'd done to it. His fingers drifted lower, tracing down Eggsy's thigh and then the other while Eggsy's breathing slowly steadied and he began to come down from the rush. They both watched Harry's hand as it drew across soft skin. 

"You are something magnificent, Eggsy," Harry said softly. "Opening up for me like this in ways you couldn't only days ago. Remarkable."

The boy shivered. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about opening up. Eggsy knew by then that he loved Harry, and he felt a spike of lust whenever he read some of the books on sex scattered through the house, but he was still convinced that he was too young for much to be possible. Eggsy felt small and fragile, quite happy to be the focus of Harry's affections, but nervous that Harry would ask too much of him. Harry's fingers stroked up his inner thigh and Eggsy nearly jumped out of his skin. "Y-you... think so?"

Harry's lips pressed against his neck and Harry's fingers moved past Eggsy's groin. "I do. Whether or not you want to do more, I do think so. This would be a particularly good opportunity to try again, but I have no intention of pushing you beyond what you're comfortable with." 

Eggsy could see Harry's eyes searching him, so close before Harry propped himself up with one arm to gaze down at Eggsy. A soft smile touched the man's lips, a genuine one. Eggsy must have looked a sight--hair matted with sweat in some places, sticking up in others from dragging his head against the cushion, all flushed and boneless. 

And Eggsy felt indebted. Whatever Harry might have to say on the matter, society had particular messages: if his boyfriend took care of him, he was supposed to take care of Harry. Eggsy wasn't even averse to the idea, other than the fact that he was terrified that it was going to hurt. 

The boy didn't answer for a few good minutes. He clung to Harry instead, taking comfort in the feel and sight and scent of him. When Eggsy finally spoke, it was a whisper. "I want to try, but I'm scared."

Harry's palm cupped the back of his head. "I know." Harry considered Eggsy for a long moment more before he reached over the side of the couch for his briefcase again. 

"I have something that may help you relax." Harry came up with a small orange bottle. "It's…like medicine. It works to loosen the muscles you have no control over. No harmful side effects, only a brief feeling of stimulation. This combined with how you're feeling right now, there should be very little pain." Eggsy could just read the label on the bottle proclaiming a "rush" along with some chemical information he didn't understand, but there was Harry's face behind it, looking into him with a now familiar certainty.

"It looks weird." The bottle in Harry's hand didn't look like any medicine bottle Eggsy had ever seen. Eggsy was a bit skeptical, but... Harry wouldn't give him something dangerous. Harry wouldn't lie about it, either, especially not about it reducing pain - after all, he had been very honest about the pain before. Another adult might have lied about that or tried to minimalize it, but Harry had told him the truth.

After a minute of deliberation, Eggsy bit his lower lip and nodded.

Harry gave him a quick smile and held Eggsy's gaze. Harry was making sure. "Okay." 

With that, Harry set the bottle down beside them and sat up. His hands went to the buttons of his shirt, neatly unfastening them all the way down while Eggsy watched. The shirt slid over his shoulders and in one elegant motion Harry let it fall to the floor. A smile curved at his lips when Eggsy's eyes followed the movement and then lingered on his naked chest. Harry's belt buckle was next, followed by him leaning over Eggsy and hovering there while he slipped out of his trousers. 

Eggsy couldn't help but reach out to touch. He loved Harry as he normally was, decked out in finery that gave him an elegant silhouette that drew the eye and trapped it there. Harry was a dandy, as Eggsy understood it, perhaps even more of one considering the way that he sometimes chose strange combinations of pattern and color to draw the eye even more. What Eggsy particularly loved, however, was how he got to see under it all. Nobody else got to see Harry as he was with all the posh wrappings removed. _Just_ Harry.

With a particular delight in Harry's eyes that told Eggsy his thoughts were transparent, Harry's mouth found his own. Harry was a _tease_ as well. And a confident one. He drew Eggsy into the kiss and out of his lethargy with slow and furtive swipes of his tongue. 

When Harry laid down next to Eggsy, Eggsy got a very good view of the erection pressed against his thigh. Harry wasn't pressing there deliberately yet, there was simply no space on the couch, but Harry's body didn't seem to see the difference. It was thick and flushed red and had been waiting all this time for any attention, and still Harry ignored it in favour of touching Eggsy. 

Finally, Harry reached for the small bottle and began to unscrew the cap. "All you have to do is inhale a little bit, through your nose. Just like smelling salts," Harry explained, calm as ever as he propped himself up and held the bottle up for Eggsy. 

"You'll feel a rush after. It's normal. Should only last a minute or two, so don't worry." 

Harry wasn't exaggerating. Eggsy inhaled deeper than he should have, expecting that the drug would take a bit to do anything, only to suddenly feel lightheaded as a rush of warmth and euphoria flowed through him. Eggsy was already feeling pretty relaxed from earlier climaxes, but he could feel himself almost sinking back down into the couch. Harry shifted, and Eggsy had to follow the contact points with his eyes; touch felt more significant. Harry's skin looked more colorful. Even the cock resting against his leg, patiently waiting, looked more red than Eggsy remembered. 

Time was moving oddly, and Eggsy finally stopped his staring to look back at Harry with confusion in his eyes. "...is it supposed to be like this?"

Harry wrapped an arm around him and the feeling was glorious. 

"Yes, it is, and it won't last long." Eggsy could see that Harry was smiling. It was soft and inviting. Harry's fingers carded through his hair. "How are you feeling?" Harry asked. He had that look in his eye that said he already knew, but Harry, being Harry, would want to make sure. Harry was always looking out for Eggsy like that. With a delicate touch, Harry's fingers drew down Eggsy's temple, across his cheek, pausing to rest over the curve of his lips. It seemed like Harry just wanted to feel them. 

"Good, it-... wow," Eggsy murmured. The boy couldn't manage more than that. He didn't have the words to describe it, because he had nothing to compare it to. "Good. Really warm. Everything's really bright, and you feel really good, but I sorta feel like I'm gonna fall through the couch or something." The image that conjured made Eggsy giggle, and Harry must have found it funny as well because his smile widened just a bit. Eggsy found himself staring and wishing that Harry would kiss him again, especially so that he could see just how different it felt right then.

He got his wish. 

Harry's fingers drew away as he leaned over Eggsy, replaced by Harry's mouth instead. It was impossibly soft, and smoother than Harry had felt before. When Harry's body pressed against him more tightly, all it brought with it was pleasure. Eggsy even felt Harry's hips rock against his thigh, felt the difference between the feel of Harry's legs and the smooth, yet impossibly rigid, line of his cock. It was like silk wrapped over stone. Harry took Eggsy's bottom lip between his teeth and pulled lightly before letting go. 

Eggsy watched him with a dazed look and more than a bit of hunger. He hadn't wanted Harry to pull away. Before Eggsy could voice a complaint, however, the older man's hands began to wander. Eggsy heard a soft, high-pitched moan and realized with a start a split-second later that he'd been hearing himself.

Harry had heard him, too. The sound seemed to have galvanized Harry into moving faster. The hungry glint that Eggsy had seen in him before reappeared. One of Harry's palms slid up along his inner thigh and Eggsy shivered and automatically spread his legs wider.

The second sound Eggsy heard was much lower, and Eggsy realised it came from Harry. Harry's hand pressed over Eggsy's hardening cock and then drew down to his entrance and the lube still painted there. Harry's fingers circled, tentatively dipping inside Eggsy and then back out again before moving to rub over his cock. Eggsy gave another whine and Harry's mouth was on his, drinking in the sounds. 

"Need you to come down just a little," Harry said breathlessly, like this was as arousing for him as it was for Eggsy, but again he was holding back.

Eggsy couldn't have said how long it took. It might have only been a few minutes, but time seemed to stretch on and on. Harry kissed him and Eggsy didn't seem to need air. He could feel Harry's fingers wrapped around him, points of warmth and pressure and friction, stroking at a languid pace before they released him. Harry’s fingers slid into him again, testing, and he let out a shocked huff of breath and tilted his hips up to meet them. Just then, it all seemed so _easy_. "Harry..."

"There you are." Harry's fond eyes looked down at Eggsy, only inches apart. Harry's fingers curled and pressed farther to find the spot that gave Eggsy the most pleasure, even if it had been well used over the night so far. Harry could grin through nothing but the smallest of smiles and he was doing it now. "Are you ready?" 

Harry shifted against Eggsy to make him look down, get one last good look at Harry's cock before Harry moved any further. 

Eggsy did. Harry still looked intimidating, particularly when so close to his own cock that the boy could easily compare their difference in size. Harry felt overly warm where he touched Eggsy's skin, hard and eager, and Eggsy felt a twinge of nervousness. He swallowed and slowly nodded. "Y-yeah. I, I guess I am, yeah. Just be careful and go slow, alright?"

Harry bent and pressed a kiss to Eggsy's cheek. "Alright."

Eggsy caught sight of Harry's long fingers slicking lube down his shaft before Harry pulled back. Harry gripped the underside of Eggsy's thighs and moved him into the centre of the couch before he positioned himself between Eggsy's legs. This was different than they'd done it before. Harry had to pull Eggsy's legs up, presumably for ease of access or perhaps it would hurt more otherwise--Eggsy didn't know, but then Harry was leaning over him and guiding the fat head of his cock to press against Eggsy. With a little push, it slid in much easier and Harry's mouth fell open. 

Eggsy had a death grip on the couch and kept expecting pain, but none was forthcoming. Penetration was still uncomfortable, but between what they'd been doing and the medicine Harry had given him, the ache wasn't nearly as intense as the previous time they'd tried this. Eggsy glanced down and nearly wished he hadn't; with his legs pulled up, the boy had a very good view. Seeing Harry's cock disappearing into his body was far more powerful and erotic a sight than he'd been anticipating, but nerve-wracking as well. Harry was so much bigger that the older man could easily hurt him.

Harry bent down again and Eggsy noticed how heavy he was breathing. He hadn't started moving, however, and he was only just inside. Harry's hand curled against the side of Eggsy's head. When Harry glanced down, his eyes closed and he took a sharp breath. Eggsy even saw a hint of teeth biting his lower lip before Harry composed himself again and sought out Eggsy's gaze. Harry leaned down for a kiss. The way Harry's fingers ran through Eggsy's hair were nothing like Michelle's had been earlier. Harry paid attention to him even now when Harry looked like he was on the brink of coming apart. "Still ok?" he whispered. 

"Y-yeah." Eggsy had to whisper back. His throat felt tight. The boy didn't dare look away from Harry's face, because if he did, he knew his gaze would be drawn downwards, and his anxiety would come creeping back. Every bit of him was focused on how their bodies were joined. Eggsy didn't know why Harry was breathing so strangely. "Are y-you? I mean, you sound..."

Harry gave a short laugh. "Eggsy. ...you don't know how good you feel." Harry tilted his head to kiss Eggsy's cheek and then, slowly, pressed his hips forward, sliding in just a little more. Eggsy's legs widened. Harry felt huge, but he paused after another couple inches to breathe against Eggsy's neck. Harry's arms wrapped around Eggsy and he held the boy tight as he slowly began to rock his hips back and forth. 

Eggsy had never heard Harry sound quite like he did then. He'd been breathless before, desperate before, Eggsy had seen all that, but this was Harry almost...reverent. 

Eggsy kept bracing himself for pain, but it never came. Harry never went too deep, and never too quick. He kept a steady, slow pace, and after Eggsy became more confident that Harry wasn't going to hurt him, he started to relax. Gorgeous as Harry normally looked, there was something about his expression that caught Eggsy's eye. He couldn't help but stare, and wonder if Harry was going to break to pieces instead of him. He wanted to look down again, to see as well as feel, but Harry was holding him too tightly for Eggsy to have a good view.

As Eggsy began to relax, Harry's pace began to quicken. Harry didn't seem to want to let him go either, not even so Eggsy could move. He pressed his forehead to the side of Eggsy’s even if he had to bend a little to do it. Harry's breath was hot against his ear. Harry was all around him, inside of him, hands running up and down his back and sides and rear and cock sinking in and out of him. And Harry was making little, desperate noises. 

Eggsy hadn't been certain whether or not he was actually going to like this kind of sex. He'd fantasized about it, of course, almost immediately upon learning it was possible. He'd gone over photos in Harry's books and tried to imagine what it would be like, but he had no way of knowing whether it was something he'd enjoy or if it would be painful for him and only pleasurable for Harry.

Eggsy's doubts were being put to rest. The boy felt completely overpowered, and what should have been frightening sent a little thrill jolting through him. The sounds Harry was making were driving him mad, and something about watching and feeling Harry slide into him was attractive even as it was utterly filthy.

And then Harry tilted his hips a bit more, the angle changed, and Eggsy let out a startled gasp as he began to see stars.

Harry's hips stuttered at the sound, but there was no mistaking it for pain. He gasped, " _Eggsy_ ," and did it again. He fell into a new rhythm with the motion and let one of his hands drift down to take Eggsy's erection between his fingers. When Eggsy whimpered, so did Harry. Harry began kissing him all over and didn't stop. His groans came with every thrust. Still he couldn't loosen his hold on Eggsy. "You feel....incredible." Harry's words were almost indecipherable spoken into Eggsy's neck, but the sentiment was clear. 

Eggsy had nothing to hold onto but Harry, and so he did. The boy's grip was white-knuckled, but it was unlikely Harry felt any discomfort. Eggsy had thought he was exhausted, but Harry's cock and fingers were winding up the tension in him again. Harry's kisses burned into his skin. Eggsy whimpered again and his eyes fluttered closed.

Not seeing what was happening to him only made the sensations more intense.

Harry straightened a little, which put his mouth to Eggsy's temple and he kissed there as well. His hips never faltered in their pace, and from the way Harry was breathing it didn't sound like he could stop even if he'd wanted to. Harry said something. Over and over again, until Eggsy made out his name. Even with only one arm wrapped around Eggsy now, Harry kept him trapped there, pressed into him. 

"I'm not going to last long," Harry warned, breathless and barely above a whisper. He seemed to have a much better sense now just how overwhelmed Eggsy was, in spite of being so himself. Harry's words devolved into a groan at the end and he gave one particularly strong thrust before he found control again. 

Eggsy cringed. Harry had gone a bit too deep and, even relaxed as he was, Eggsy had certainly felt _that_. The sharp ache didn't persist, however, and so Eggsy said nothing. He knew what Harry's words meant. Having already fantasized about doing this before, Eggsy had also fantasized about the end and what it might feel like. If Harry was expecting Eggsy to protest, or ask him to pull out, then he was going to be surprised.

Eggsy forced his eyes open and turned to seek Harry's gaze. He couldn't see that much, with how entwined they were, but the boy didn't want to miss seeing this. 

Harry's fingers around him squeezed just a little tighter. Harry's thrusts sped up just a little more, more pointed than the languid motion he'd had before. It didn't stop him from brushing against Eggsy's sweet spot, however. Harry caught sight of Eggsy looking up at him and he turned just enough so that their eyes met. 

Harry gave a breathless moan, his hips dug in just a little painfully, but the expression on his face was absolute bliss, mouth open, lip quivering, eyelids falling in delirious pleasure. Harry stilled when he came pressed tight in Eggsy. 

Eggsy clutched Harry tighter as he felt it, his own lips parted in shock and pleasure. He could feel Harry twitch _inside_ him several times over while the rest of Harry stayed frozen in place. Eggsy flushed, feeling thrill and embarrassment warring against one another, and a bit of pride besides. He'd managed to do what he thought he couldn't yet, and he'd made Harry come apart. 

Eggsy ached and he knew that things were going to get messy. He knew what people said about men who did what he'd just done and enjoyed it. Eggsy didn't know how he felt about all of that yet, but it seemed worth it, particularly with the way Harry was looking back at him.

Harry's breath was heavy, he pushed away the strands of matted hair that had fallen onto Eggsy's forehead, but he didn't move right away. Harry looked like he was recording Eggsy with his eyes, committing the moment to memory. Harry's eyes drifted shut and he shifted minutely, fingers squeezing over Eggsy's cock and in his hair, hips shifting the cock inside Eggsy, and Eggsy realised Harry was committing the sensations to memory, too. 

Then Harry kissed him, long and indulgent, tasting Eggsy as much as he was feeling him. When they pulled apart it still seemed that Harry wasn't quite ready to let go. His fingers lazily stroked over Eggsy's shaft, but he waited as long as he could before pulling out. Harry did it slowly. He shifted to his side and lifted up a little, and Eggsy could finally see where they were joined, and then Harry carefully began to slide out. 

Eggsy did his best not to squirm, but he ended up biting at his lip. Whatever Harry had given him had worn off, and without the distraction of pleasure, Eggsy's body was starting to protest what they'd done. He felt sore, especially deeper where Harry had gotten carried away for a moment, and as Harry slid a little further out there was no ignoring the fact that they'd made a mess. Eggsy blushed harder and averted his eyes, knowing that he wasn't supposed to enjoy that part of it and wondering what it meant that he did.

When Harry was all the way out, Eggsy felt strangely empty. The boy hadn't been expecting that, and he immediately curled into Harry in response to the odd sensation of loss.

Harry made a very pleased sound at that and his fingers curled in Eggsy's hair. He let go of Eggsy's cock and slid his hand down into his own release mixed with the lube. Harry's forefinger slid against the puckered opening between Eggsy's cheeks and lingered there. "You make me want to go all night," Harry said into Eggsy's ear, fingers collecting the slick and then coating his cock with it, using it to help the slide. It seemed Eggsy wasn't the only one who appreciated the state Harry had left his body in. 

Eggsy shivered and turned so red that he even flushed down to the tips of his ears. The boy didn't know what to say to that, or to Harry's boldness. Even aching, Eggsy's body was still more than a bit interested, and his hips canted against Harry's hand, but for once the boy tucked his face shyly against Harry's chest. "Don't know if I can. Everything hurts a bit. I mean, not _hurt_ hurts, but..."

"I know," Harry said softly, fingers still working over Eggsy's cock. "You were wonderful for me, Eggsy. Simply perfect." Harry's other hand tickled over the back of his neck. "One more to go. Think you can handle it, just like this?" Eggsy could hear Harry's sly smile without looking. Eggsy was sore and Harry wasn't going to try to do more of the same, but his fingers still felt good and without penetration....

Eggsy nodded. "Just that, yeah." Touch was enough, and all Eggsy wanted right then. Just to listen to the sound of Harry's voice, press up close until he could smell the musk and faint cologne that always clung to Harry's skin, and have Harry stay with him. Fortunately for Eggsy, Harry didn't seem inclined to want to leave or break contact, even to go clean up. Harry didn't seem to mind that they were ruining the couch, either; Eggsy could feel the dampness between his cheeks, and a corresponding dampness to the cushions underneath him.

Harry hummed and began to stroke a little harder. He leaned down and pressed his mouth to Eggsy's ear. "Next time we'll do this upstairs, somewhere I can properly spread you out. I'd like to set you on my hips and see you ride me. I'd wrap you up in the sheets after. Stay inside you as long as I could." Harry nipped at Eggsy's ear when his breath caught at Harry's words. "When I'm not so very busy, you could come by the shop. I'd let you try the scotch and then lift you up on the desk, pull down your trousers, spread your knees wide...." 

Harry's gamble paid off. Rather than being embarrassed or turned off by the older man's words, Eggsy's interest became palpable. The cock trapped between Harry's fingers stiffened further and Eggsy let out a small gasp. Small fingers dug into Harry's back where Eggsy clung to him. "W-won't... we'll get in trouble, we _can't_. Someone will s-see us."

Harry chuckled. "It wouldn't be easy, that is true. And they would notice something amiss if I turned off the security system. Very unfortunate. But if I'm ever working upstairs and you're particularly lonely...." Harry massaged Eggsy's tip before he went back to stroking, his pace speeding up quickly. "I'd like to dress you in silk and then ruin every inch of it," Harry confessed. "You make me want to spoil you, Eggsy. The things I'd let you get away with...." 

"You're already spoilin' me," Eggsy gasped. Harry _was_ , from his perspective. Compared with how he'd been living, Eggsy felt like he was in the lap of luxury. To a boy that wasn't used to having much of anything, new clothes and a well-supplied kitchen and a bit of pocket money was extravagance. Harry went beyond that, too, teaching him things and taking him places. "What could I poss'bly get away with that you don't let me do already?"

Harry laughed quietly. "Perhaps I shouldn't give you ideas." He wandered over to capture Eggsy's mouth. Harry's kiss was languid, but his fingers, and his words, were building the tension inside of Eggsy again. "I'm already tempted to do this every night. We'd never have time for anything else." 

Harry let his free hand slide down Eggsy's back and caress his rear, kneading a fistful of the flesh. He bent down and pressed his head to Eggsy's and let his hands take over the work.

Whatever Eggsy was going to say to that got lost in a rush of pleasure. The boy's eyes closed again and, this time, he didn't bother trying to hold back any sound. Eggsy didn't have the energy and focus to do so any longer. Harry's clever fingers knew just what to do and how quickly to move, and it didn't take long before Harry had Eggsy moaning and melting underneath him. 

A press of lips against Eggsy's neck, a slide of the pad of Harry’s finger over the tip of Eggsy’s cock, and Eggsy shuddered and gasped out Harry's name.

The moment it happened, Eggsy dazedly noticed the press of teeth against his neck. Harry was grinning. 

"That's it," Harry soothed, working him through the orgasm until the touch made Eggsy whimper and Harry stilled and just held him instead, letting his body tremble and fall limp. 

Another moment and Harry was shifting, lifting Eggsy to lay atop him while Harry stretched out on the couch. He made a face upon encountering the wet spot, but said nothing about it and had no qualms whatsoever about wrapping Eggsy around him to let the boy relax. 

"You did it." Harry kissed the top of his head. 

" _God_ ," Eggsy groaned. He was draped atop Harry as bonelessly as he could manage. "Remind me not to make bets with you. I didn't think you were _serious_ , y'know, when I said five."

Eggsy's chest heaved as he took a deep breath and let it all out in one contented sigh. "I don't even wanna move. Not even for a shower. Not even for ice cream."

Harry laughed. "Then I'll help. We really must clean up." Before Eggsy could protest, Harry lifted him into his arms and climbed up from the couch. Eggsy had to wrap his arms around Harry's neck, but Harry seemed to like it, even when Eggsy's head nestled into the crook of his neck. 

Harry carried him up the stairs to the toilet, turned the light on, and started the tap all without setting Eggsy down. He could have fallen asleep like that and Harry would have taken care of him, washed him up, and put him to bed. 

Eggsy nearly _did_ fall asleep. He wavered back and forth as he sat, and it took a few moments for the boy to reach out and touch Harry's leg. "Can I... have a minute. I need to... y'know," Eggsy mumbled, embarrassed. He still felt loose, and was becoming more and more aware of how close he was to making a mess of the bathroom floor. 

Harry just smiled. "Of course. Come and find me when you're done." He pressed a kiss to the corner of Eggsy's mouth and then plucked one of the towels off the rack for himself. Harry gave it a quick pass down his middle and then went to find his robe, closing the door behind him and leaving Eggsy to his own business. 

The next few minutes revived all of Eggsy's embarrassment. The boy hid his face in his hands while his body did what came naturally to that area. Eggsy snuck a peek before flushing everything away and was amazed that what had felt like so much amounted to very little in the end. 

Eggsy nearly lost his balance when he got back to his feet. When he peeked out into the hallway, he couldn't see Harry waiting. The boy ventured a guess and struck out towards Harry's bedroom.

He found Harry there, frowning down at his mobile, but his expression evaporated the moment he saw Eggsy. "Ready for a shower, then?" Harry stepped around the bed to take Eggsy under his arm. "And then I think it's bedtime for the both of us." 

Harry turned on the shower and divested himself of his robe. He hadn't needed it in the first place, but it was a perfectly Harry thing to do. He tested the water and pulled back the curtains to beckon Eggsy in along after him and Eggsy found himself wrapped in caressing hands and hot, soothing water. 

Harry didn't take long to clean them up. He was content to take care of Eggsy like that, running the soap down Eggsy's body for him and then washing him clean. They had barely fogged up the mirror when Harry shut the water off and grabbed a towel to dry Eggsy first. 

Eggsy's eyes were already half-closed with fatigue. He leaned against Harry at every chance he got, and was yawning by the time Harry finished drying him off. 

It took hardly any effort at all for Harry to scoop Eggsy back into his arms, once he'd finished drying himself put on his robe. Eggsy curled back against him while Harry carried him back into the bedroom and set him down on the plush sheets. The boy didn't want to let go of him, and his fingers caught on the robe when Harry tried to straighten up.

"No pyjamas for you, then?" Harry teased. "Okay." 

Harry moved only so far as to turn off the light before he undid the robe and crawled into bed with Eggsy. Eggsy curled against him immediately and Harry let his arms wrap around Eggsy's small body, soft and dry and smelling fresh from the shower. Harry turned onto his side and stroked down Eggsy's back. Eggsy was boneless against him, eyes slipping closed, and Harry relaxed next to him. Just as Harry's presence was a comfort, Eggsy had become a treasure in Harry's bed. 

Eggsy was asleep in a matter of seconds. He might worry about the meaning of everything the next day and whether things would change - particularly once he felt the full effects of Harry's attentions and couldn't sit without some discomfort - but right then, he was too exhausted to think. Eggsy was more than sated, clean and dry and warm, and he had Harry. That was all that mattered.


	18. Chapter 18

The next day Harry saw Eggsy off to school with a kiss that nearly made him miss the bus. Harry finished up getting ready for work, combing his hair into its neat state once again, and headed out the door. 

Dagonet greeted him as pleasantly as always at the shop and one train ride later he was gliding down the halls of headquarters and feeling very good about the morning. Even before his cup of coffee. It wasn't easy falling into work after the way Eggsy had left that morning, but Harry grit his teeth and logged in to see if Arthur had left him any messages about an unidentified intelligence agency recruiting in Cambodia. For the next several hours, he found himself embroiled in little but research. 

It was to be expected that a familiar shadow darkened his doorway. Merlin rapped his knuckles politely against the wooden frame to announce his presence. Nothing in the man's demeanor or expression gave the slightest hint of what he was thinking, but Harry might have ventured several well-educated guesses. "Galahad, if you have a moment to spare, I'd like a second opinion on a few things. Nothing urgent. I've picked up several anomalies and I'd rather not bother Arthur unless they look to be something of real significance."

Harry sighed and sat back from the desk. "Of course." He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose before putting them back on and following Merlin out the door. Harry had been expecting this for days now, and it seemed Merlin finally had the time to corner him. 

The two of them walking down the hall together was by no means remarkable and Harry wouldn't think to leave his glasses behind even if there was the slightest chance Arthur could activate them if an emergency arose in the next hour. The knights simply did not go anywhere without them even in HQ. 

They turned the corner and bypassed several rooms frequented by intelligence personnel. Instead, Merlin led Harry into one of the more private surveillance review rooms. Merlin's laptop was already there, locked and waiting. Merlin stepped aside and let Harry enter the room in front of him, then shut and locked the door behind them.

"This will have to do. It's as private as I can make things." Merlin shot Harry a cryptic look and took a seat in front of his laptop. A few keystrokes brought the screen back up, which began flipping through random video footage. "Tell me, have you fallen so far that you've taken a complete leave of your senses? Your self-preservation? Or are you just distracted enough to be sloppy?"

Harry cast his eyes to the ceiling. "You'll be referring to the watch, then. And whatever else you think I've done. But no, Merlin, I have not lost my senses. You were on board with this before; what's changed?" Harry looked him in the eye, unphased. Merlin's stare was nothing to be dismissed easily, but Harry was quite used to it by then. Harry also knew if Merlin had uncovered some dire flaw in Harry's work, he would have heard from the man the moment Merlin found out. This was something else. 

"Well, firstly, your charge is a very poor liar. Loyalty doesn't matter, although that's certainly been achieved for the moment. He won't crack, but he'll give away everything in what he doesn't say and how he behaves. His abysmal lying skills are suitable for the moment, but they won't be in the near future, because we both know you won't be surrendering him."

Heated as Merlin's tone was, the man had turned to the screen and barely glanced at Harry. He looked utterly composed, his hands poised over the keyboard and his eyes on the video, as if he truly was reviewing the footage. "He's going to be intensely questioned the moment you press for custody. His mother already suspects that something is odd about your relationship with the boy, given what I've seen from yesterday's surveillance, and the officials that will be questioning him are very familiar with the cues to look for when investigating whether a child is being abused, manipulated, or taken advantage of. He's not prepared for the conflict that's to come, and quite frankly, I'm not certain that you are either, from what I've seen. You've been emotionally compromised."

Harry raised an eyebrow at that, but finally went along with the act and turned his eyes to the screen as well. "And do you think whether I have feelings for the boy or not is any indication of how well I'll be able to pull this off? Do you think I can't draw out this investigation long enough to coach him to get through a conversation with a court appointed expert, while knowing I'd be able to pull enough strings to keep that conversation limited to an absolute minimum? And of course his mother suspects something's amiss," Harry added as an afterthought, "Mothers always do, whether there’s anything to it or not." 

"I question whether you'll become overconfident and press matters forward prematurely. You have a tendency for impatience, and you _did_ give the boy one of our watches without telling me. How were you going to explain that, if he'd accidentally activated one of the features? Amnesia darts have a limited window of opportunity." Merlin tapped on the keyboard, and the video footage changed to a new assortment. He gestured towards the screen. "It's not even a question of whether or not you have feelings for the boy. You do, and your attachment has the potential to make things more difficult."

"Then we'll have to make it _less_ difficult, now won't we?" Harry retorted. "Damn me as an optimist if you will, but I can tie up the inspectors for quite a lot longer with my contacts at the Yard. Whatever training I need to get Eggsy through, I'll make sure he gets through it." Harry crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight, but kept his eyes on the monitor. "And how the hell are you so certain exactly how far my attachment reaches, anyway?" 

Silence stretched between them, both staring at the monitors. Until Harry glanced at Merlin out of the corner of his eye. 

"Lord, you've hacked the house, haven't you?"

Merlin glanced briefly at Harry, but that split second was all it took for a confirmation. Merlin's characteristic blank, composed expression was strained around the edges, revealing a hint of the emotions tucked away underneath the mask. Anger and, strangely, hurt. "We're going to have a great deal of work to do in order to make things less difficult, beginning with you making time for me to debrief you more fully regarding my observations and what areas you'll need to coach him in. I would suggest that you don't give his mother any more opportunities to talk to the boy while unsupervised, at least until he's had some basic coaching."

Harry took a deep breath, willing down the urge to point out that the bug on Eggsy's jacket had let Harry know precisely what was going on and he had ended their little meeting when he damn well pleased. Or when he thought Eggsy had been angry enough with Michelle not to ask to see her again. "Alright," Harry conceded. "But keep in mind a certain balance is needed to prevent Eggsy from wanting to go back all on his own." Another beat of silence passed and Harry could _feel_ Merlin judging him for the personal investment in that statement. "Shut up. We'll meet once a week, the coffee shop on the end of Savile Row. If we're discovered it wouldn't be too out of place, being close to the shop." Harry gave a short sigh. "And yes, you have my permission to watch. You're welcome."

Merlin did turn to look at Harry directly then. The mask was back in place, leaving Harry to guess what was going through his mind. Something clearly was, as Merlin stayed silent just a beat too long. "I'll have need of your assistance again, sometime in the near future, so do keep that in mind when planning your evening schedule. For the moment, I'll simply have to trust your judgment on other matters until we have a chance to discuss things more thoroughly."

Harry took Merlin in and nodded. "Your concerns have been heard loud and clear. And I'll look forward to beginning work on your next project." Merlin remained as impassive as ever. "I'd ask you to let me know just one thing, however," Harry allowed the corner of his lip to turn up and leaned a fraction closer. "Did you enjoy the show?" 

Merlin went very still. The difference would have been difficult to spot, in ordinary circumstances, but for how close Harry was standing and that he was searching for a reaction. The man didn't blink, and even his breathing stopped for a moment. Pale eyes flickered down to the satisfied curve of Harry's mouth before meeting Harry's gaze again. 

"More than you know." Merlin reached without looking and closed the laptop with a pointed click. He rose to his feet and tucked it under one arm, bringing him back of a height with Harry.

The only reaction Harry gave him was the widening of his smile. "Very well, then. Do let me know when you'll be available." Harry nodded once. 

He turned to the door and by the time he opened it a perfectly professional expression was plastered on his face. He readjusted his glasses and made his way down the hall without a glance back.

* * *

Harry never got the chance to discuss the specifics of their newly-agreed-upon meeting schedule. When he wasn't working, Harry's attention was consumed by the progress he'd made in his relationship with Eggsy. The boy had been sore the next day, but uninjured, and he'd milked the opportunity for every advantage he could get, resulting in even more pampering than Eggsy normally received. The regenerative powers of youth being what they were, it wasn't long at all before Eggsy agreed to penetration again, with far less reluctance now that he'd experienced it and knew what to expect.  
Not even a week had passed before Harry's after-dinner routine was interrupted by the ringing of his mobile.

Harry checked the number and gave a small sigh. 

"Sorry, work," he explained as he extricated himself from Eggsy and the couch where they'd been watching telly. "Don't pause it, I might be a minute." He kissed Eggsy's cheek and straightened before Harry brought the phone to his ear, heading at a casual pace for the stairs, presumably to his office. "Hello?"

"Regretfully, while a coffee shop will be suitable for discussing your matters, that environment is ill-suited for mine, so this will have to suffice." Merlin's voice was quiet on the other end of the line, but crisp enough that he was easily understood. "I have your next task. This is a slightly more complicated endeavor and will require several steps, rather than only one."

Merlin paused. "What is your sentiment, regarding families?"

Harry did not pause going up the stairs, but he knew his face had turned into a frown. "Just because you think I have one of my own now doesn't mean I've gone soft," he chided, closing the door of the office behind him and moving to the desk. He turned on the computer just in case Merlin had sent him something. Harry did not yet know how comfortable Merlin was with sharing whatever records he kept on these projects with him. "What do you have in mind?"

"A local man. Young, and a rising star in sales performance at his employer. He's only a few months into his marriage to a woman who bore him a son three years ago. Newly promoted. He's recently purchased a new house in an upscale neighborhood, doubtless on the wages he's projected to make, as it's unlikely that his new wife is making fortunes at the small PR firm she works for."

Merlin cleared his throat. "I want you to verify all of this. I'm not looking for simple confirmation. I want you to go to their residence and make a video record. A more _personal_ verification than simply hacking into the respective networks to confirm the data. I want documentation of what their household and lives look like before we begin."

Harry went to stand by the window overlooking the mew below, imagining why Merlin would want such a thing. He gave a hum of confirmation. They both knew that would not be a challenge for Harry. Harry was already beginning to suspect where this might lead. He could imagine walking through such a house, with such a family, very different from the one he'd made with Eggsy. He did not think about Eggsy. "And after?" 

"Afterwards, once I've reviewed the material you have collected for me, I will decide if this is a target I want to pursue. If that's the case, you're going to make introductions with the father of the household. You'll be another businessman, either at the same company or at another that frequently interacts with that company. Your interactions will begin as standard business networking, and you'll slowly introduce the target to the fine art of alcoholic gambling. All for the better if he's tempted to cheat on his new spouse along the way, but your goal will be to ensure that he falls to temptation and gambles his family into catastrophic amounts of debt, with all the repercussions that follow. I expect that the household will look very differently when you document it the second time."

In the distance headlights blinked through the end of the mew and Harry kept his eyes on them. He did not think about Eggsy. "That it would," Harry agreed. "Okay. I'm in. I'll need the address and the family's daily schedule, you know the lot, and I'll scope the place sometime during the week. It shouldn't be too long, I've got nothing on for another week yet and then it's a short jaunt to Bali and back." 

Harry knew Merlin was listening carefully to the sound of his voice, his pauses. He'd led with the obvious after all--how Harry felt about families. Merlin's concern over Eggsy was exactly the same. Harry gave him nothing and...found it was not difficult to accomplish. 

"I'm pleased to hear you say that. I'll arrange for a discreet drop of everything you'll need. Look for it in the next day or two. Speaking of needs, have you decided on a date for our coffee shop chat? Time is of the essence. Processes can only be delayed for so long." Amusement filtered into Merlin's tone, unless Harry was mistaken.

Harry sighed and rubbed his temple. Merlin was right. "Tomorrow. After I leave. I'll let Eggsy know I'll be late and it might be a regularity. You can slip away, I assume?" Harry closed the curtain and went back to his computer, sitting against the desk. He shut it off and watched the dull blue glow in the room fade into a soft yellow one cast by the light of a single lamp. He could still hear the telly playing downstairs and was glad Eggsy was preoccupied. 

"Easily. My absences aren't terribly unusual or notable, and no one minds so long as sufficient personnel are on hand should a need arise and my work is satisfactory. I don't have the complications of someone who misses my presence or requires explanations."

"Very good then, tomorrow it is." Harry was not looking forward to the talk, but then again he knew it needed to happen. Merlin was one of his greatest assets in this endeavour and he couldn't deny it. Merlin simply had a habit of suggesting avenues Harry would rather avoid, and yet he could not argue that those avenues were entirely practical. 

The line went dead. Harry exhaled, and as he did, he nearly missed the subtle creak of a floorboard. The noise was muffled by carpeting and the solid wood of his office door, nearly drowned by the cacophony of the telly downstairs, but Harry knew precisely what it meant. Such a sound was only made when sufficient weight interacted with a particular spot outside of his office, and not when the building shifted on his foundations. Someone had been outside.

Quickly, he ran through everything that he'd said on his side of the conversation. Old, familiar adrenaline seeped into his veins, but Harry remained calm. He wanted to curse, but he could work with this. Silently he moved to the door, put a pleasant expression on his face, and opened it just in time to catch Eggsy at the top of the stairs, looking incredibly guilty. 

Harry smiled. "Eggsy. Everything alright? You needn't worry about disturbing me." 

"Yeah, I just, uh..." In an instant, Harry saw what Merlin had meant. When frightened, Eggsy was terrible at lying. He projected too much tension, his smile was a bit too wide and forced, and he didn't quite maintain direct eye contact. "I was thinkin' about gettin' ice cream and wanted to know if you wanted some, but you were still on the phone, so... I didn't know how long you were gonna be."

Harry kept the smile, but sighed, shoulders slumping as he went to Eggsy. He put a hand on the boy's back and led him down the steps. "Eggsy, if you're curious, you don't have to hide it. That was Sean. He's planning a surprise party for one of our coworkers and needs my help to set it up." Harry led them into the kitchen and took down two bowls before getting out the ice cream, forcing tension out of the line of his body as he moved. 

Eggsy turned bashful, or something akin to it; he watched Harry with a silence that was unusual for him. Harry could practically hear Eggsy’s thoughts turning in his head, though not the content. "How many people do you work with?" Eggsy finally asked. "I know there has to be people making the stuff in the shop, but I've only ever seen you and Landon and that one clerk."

Harry raised his brows curiously at the question. "About a half dozen or more, I suppose. Not all of us work the same hours and they're not all tailors of course. Some are assistants, some are investors. We also have very close relations with the hatters over at Lock & Co and several other businesses of the like, many I've known for years, some who've passed the tradition down through families. Savile Row can be a tight-knit bunch." He scooped ice cream for them both and found chocolate syrup to go with it, spreading a good amount over each before Harry handed a bowl to Eggsy and made his way back to the living room. 

Harry's answer wasn't satisfactory. Doubt suffused Eggsy's features, although the boy was doing his best to hide it. They resettled on the couch and began digging into their treats, but neither of them was watching the program anymore.

"Harry? How come... you have to do stuff with him reg'lar, if it's a surprise party? Don't you just plan it, and have it, and that's it?"

"That wasn't about the party." Harry admitted with a frown. His next words were more tentative. "Sean is...going through some personal issues right now, and he asked me if I'd be willing to listen and offer advice. It might not be something that's going to be solved any time soon. Planning a party might take his mind off things for a while." Harry scraped up the last of his ice cream and set the bowl down. He leaned forward and offered Eggsy the barest hint of a smile. "I know he may seem rather detached, but there's more to that man than you might think." 

"...oh." Eggsy frowned into his bowl. He tried to think about what sorts of things Landon might be going through, but he came up with nothing. Eggsy had a difficult time even understanding just how Harry and Landon were friends. The other man didn't strike him as bad, anymore, but even after they'd gone places together while Harry was abroad, Landon had seemed strange. "Like what? I mean... I guess it's kinda weird that you're friends, but I don't ever see you hang out or talk, 'cept for now."

Harry leaned back into the couch and let his arm wrap around Eggsy's shoulders, allowing his body to relax. It wasn't quite like they'd been before, but it was something. "It can be like that when you've been friends with someone for a long time. You don't need to see them very often to know they've still got your back. We see each other at work most days, and usually that's enough. I'm not sure that he'd appreciate me confessing his troubles to anyone he didn't decide to confide in himself, however. I think you can appreciate such sentiment, Mr. 'I've never grassed anyone up'." Harry glanced over to Eggsy. "Speaking of which, we really ought to work on your guilty babbling when you've been caught out. If you want to keep up that motto."

"Wh-what? I don't," Eggsy spluttered, eyes wide. His spine straightened in indignation. "I ain't guilty and I'm not babblin'. I just came to get you and heard a bit, is all. I still don't really understand how you two are friends, either. You just seem so... different." Night and day, when Eggsy thought about it. The boy had a difficult time understanding how Harry and Landon had decided that they wanted anything to do with one another at all, they seemed such opposites.

Harry let a knowing smirk spread across his features. "Mhmm, we are. But I don't suppose that is why you looked so very guilty when I opened the door to find you at the top of the stairs?" Colour infused Eggsy's cheeks and it was a delight for Harry's eyes. A strong blush looked good on Eggsy, even if it, too, was telling. Harry touched Eggsy's cheek with the back of his knuckles. "I don't mind if you're curious, but I really do mean it. You need to learn how to deflect better when you want to."

"It's always worked before," Eggsy muttered, thinking back on every time he'd gotten away with a lie. His mother had believed most of them, and so had store clerks. Teachers, however, had been a different story, likely because they heard the same pack of lies from the student body every year. "I thought I was pretty good at it. I..."

Eggsy shot an anxious look at Harry. He was quiet for a few seconds, but after searching Harry's face, the boy plucked up his courage and gambled that Harry would be understanding. "I nicked stuff, before I came to live with you, but nobody noticed even when they came to ask me 'bout it. They just believed what I said."

Harry nodded, considering. That was a good sign. "Perhaps they believed you because you were a little more confident? I know you can get nervous around me. Or when the topic of conversation is about me." Harry's lip lifted. "You are also very cute. Store clerks might have a difficult time believing you’re up to no good. I, however, know better." Harry danced his fingertips down Eggsy's side and let his thumb rub against the boy's hip in a very suggestive motion. 

"You know me. I'm always up to no good," Eggsy shot back, a little prideful from the compliment and grinning while Harry's thumb slid back and forth. "I guess... it's different with them, 'cause I really don't care. What they think, I mean. I don't know them or nothin', but I _do_ know you, and you matter t'me."

"I think you may have something there. Which means the only remedy is practice." Harry pulled Eggsy closer and kissed him on the cheek. "You'll feel more comfortable if you ever have to face your mother like that again. Or Sean. Or anyone else for that matter." Harry pulled back and admired Eggsy. The boy was looking up at him with eyes with delicately long lashes, half shy and half coy. There was nothing more beautiful in the world than Eggsy Unwin in that moment, so Harry pressed his lips to Eggsy’s gently and thought not to take this time for granted. 

Eggsy had very quickly learned how susceptible Harry was to his charms. The more Harry praised him and displayed an appreciation for his looks and personality, the more Eggsy blossomed. Harry was beginning to lament ever mentioning that Eggsy could influence him, because the boy had taken the idea and begun to run with it. Eggsy didn't want to have a conversation about how poor a liar he was, and so Harry felt a tongue try to lick its way into his mouth the moment they kissed. At the same time, a smaller hand pressed against his waist, tugging his shirt out from its neat tucked-in lines.

"I can see right through you, you know," Harry mumbled into their kiss. Eggsy just kept going and half of Harry felt like rolling his eyes. The other half, however.... Harry felt his shirt come free and small, warm hands reach underneath. Even he couldn't be tempted to give this up. Harry pulled back for a breath and fixed his gaze on Eggsy, impatient as he was. "Tomorrow. We're going to talk about this tomorrow," Harry warned him. "It's a very important skill."

"Ok, sure." Eggsy agreed readily enough. He had a child's confidence that he could put this off - the uncomfortable talk, and the consequences. He was putting off thinking about other things too: Harry's comment about going soft, half-heard as the older man walked up the stairs to his office while Eggsy snuck along behind him. The boy didn't know what it meant, and didn't really want to think about it, or about Landon and Harry talking him through his problems. Eggsy had the sugary taste of ice cream on his tongue, and Harry in front of him, and tomorrow seemed a long ways off.

* * *

The next day at work was gruelling at best while headquarters investigated whispers of a massive missile smuggling effort crossing Turkey. Harry was only just able to get away on time thanks to Lancelot and two of the night shift handlers taking over the watch and mission if their intel proved correct. 

Just another day at the office, Harry thought as he made his way out of the shop and down Savile Row. This street, as busy as it was, always seemed like a bubble to him. No matter what happened in the world outside, no matter where he flew off to during the day or in the middle of the night, walking through Savile Row always felt the same. 

The door of the cafe on the corner chimed as Harry entered. He ordered an espresso and biscuits and scoped out a table in the back, thankful the shop wasn't too busy.

A quarter hour passed before Merlin crossed the threshold. 

Merlin never looked terribly out of place, no matter where he went. He never quite reached the formality that some of the Knights tended towards, but neither was he completely casual. The result was that he blended to a greater degree no matter what environment he was in, whenever he bothered to venture away from the Kingsman shop or HQ proper. Merlin could have been anyone, just one more London resident with a shaved head in dress trousers and a jumper, ordering a coffee and taking in the atmosphere of the shop.

Minutes ticked by before Merlin wandered over and settled in the chair across from Harry. "Good to see you. I'd ask how things are at home, but I already know."

Harry's mouth lifted into a smile. "Of course you do." He brought his cup to his lips and they both sipped in silence. "He and I will be beginning work tonight, with your input. I expect it will take time, but I also have a feeling he won't be terrible at it in the end. He's already had a bit of practice. Lifting from shops and the like." Harry turned the mug in his hands and watched his reflection in the ripples of black before he looked up at Merlin, trying to gauge the other man's expression. 

"Don't let him charm you into doing a sloppy job of it. I wouldn't enjoy seeing you reap the consequences, nor the difficulty involved in extracting you from them." Merlin paid more attention to Harry than his own mug, which had barely been touched. He didn't return Harry's easy smile. "His getting away with petty theft doesn't mean that he has any inherent skill for lying. Dexterity, maybe, but he's young enough, and caucasian enough, for clerks to overlook him as a suspect. Or for them to assume that any nervousness he has is the general anxiety of youth towards authority figures, rather than a sign of guilt."

"True," Harry admitted, "but it does mean he won't be starting with nothing. Although I'll admit, working with him in this manner will be difficult. I still want him to like me." Harry sighed. "He has a lot of questions about you, you know. Thinks we're night and day." Harry allowed himself a wry smile at that. "I suppose he would though. If you saw last night....he decided to follow me around and I had to make up an excuse to see you. Feels like I'm sneaking out of the house. He's a curious little thing." Harry shook his head and took another sip. 

"You didn't tell him anything, did you?" Harry had the satisfaction of hearing a strained note in Merlin's tone. Sure enough, a frown had creased the man's brow. "Bad enough that he can endanger you. I'd rather not have to worry about him turning into a potential liability for myself as well."

Merlin raised his mug to take a sip, then paused. Harry could feel the man's stare drilling into him. "You're growing complacent, if you let an inexperienced boy tail you and eavesdrop when skilled professionals have never escaped your notice. Have you made any contingency plans? If he's listening in on your phone calls, he may very well start nosing about in your house."

"I'm well aware." Harry glanced down into his mug. Merlin was right. Even now Harry had one ear and a percentage of his attention on the room around them, the customers that came and went. It was a skill he'd learned never to turn off in the presence of others, but Eggsy had slipped through that sense and into the familiarity of his home instead. "Making an excuse for you was simple enough. The weaponry in my house is hidden away well, and unless he learns to match your skills overnight there is no way he's getting into my home computer."

"It's hidden away well, from the perspective of an _adult_. I shouldn't have to be the one lecturing you on this, but children think differently." Merlin fell silent as another patron passed by their table, just a little too close. His gaze followed them until they passed and were well out of earshot. "He'll see the environment from different angles. He'll think to try things that experienced adults won't. He may even find something by accident."

"Then I'll go over it again." Harry lifted his gaze and fixed Merlin with it. "Look. I know what your theoretical concerns are. What I need are details. Possibly someone to test him on keeping a straight face after I've had time to work with him for a while. Sometime in the next month you're going to have to spend time with him while I'm not in the room and ask him some pointed questions. And we're going to have to keep doing that until he can get away with it." Harry wasn't smiling any longer. 

"Details," Merlin repeated. His fingers tapped against the side of his mug, sending ripples through the dark liquid, a tangle of curved lines that wove together even as they altered one another. "He's very poor at concealing anything of note about you. General questions are fine, but if you ask him how you two met and how your friendship developed, he hesitates too much, which means he's deciding on the spot just what to omit, add, or exaggerate. He doesn't criticize you, which isn't terribly strange, but too much of an attitude of hero worship is a red flag for someone that harbors suspicions. He was more curious about my relationship with _you_ than he was in getting to know who I am. He eagerly reached for any additional information about you. He became noticeably anxious when I asked too many questions about you, and tried to cover his nervousness by becoming overtly hostile."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "He also has no ability to hide his... _interest_ when looking and photos of you. His subconscious reactions are quite strong."

"Not sure I want to discourage that." Harry smiled into his cup. "But the rest.... I will have to work on the rest. At least I can be fairly certain that under direct questioning he'd be nervous enough not to arouse that particular interest, as it were, if someone were to hand him photos of me. And they don't do the invasive version of that test on children," Harry muttered into the cup before he put it down. "I do think your follow up judgement would be beneficial though, even if he's not going to be happy about it."

"He was unhappy enough the first time. I think he would have shouted at me, if it weren't for the fact that he knew it wouldn't do any good and the fact that you left me in charge of his well-being. As it was, it took me quite a while to get him to warm to me." Merlin wasn't particularly surprised by that. Few people ever seemed to warm to him, so the fact that Eggsy had begun to mildly like him at all was a major achievement.

Harry felt a new weight settle in his chest. "I'd rather not make him hate you. You're also the only one I've instructed him to call upon if ever anything happens to me," Harry sighed and steadily drained his cup. “…I'll think of something. And I'll just have to work with him myself, no matter how unhappy he becomes with me during such sessions." He knew it was a cheap way out, foisting such a thing upon Merlin, although if Eggsy did become too accustomed to Harry to be intimidated by him, he'd have no other choice. 

"And here is exemplified everything undesirable about interpersonal relationships," Merlin quipped, frowning into his mostly-untouched cup. Harry was a shadow at the corner of his vision, commanding the bulk of his focus and yet not a flicker of eye contact. "Everything is far more complicated and messy than it should be. Too much worrying about how the dynamic might change or things might be lost."

Harry's face spread into a slow smile in spite of himself. "Ever the optimist, aren't you? Don't stay grumpy too long now, I might invite you over again just for the hell of it," he threatened. "But speaking of, I'd best be off. Wouldn't want to go home and find everything's changed, after all." Harry plucked his cup from the table. "And, regarding your little project, I should have the results in a day or two."

Merlin glared. Both of them knew the expression meant nothing. Merlin's irritation would fade, and he wouldn't consider cutting Harry off. They were too close for that, and too bound together by secrets and necessities. "Good. I should hate to think we're getting too terribly one-sided. More pro bono and less quid pro quo, if even that. I am only looking out for you, but you have to take that help."

A frown tugged at Harry's mouth and he paused. "You know I'd help you. Regardless." He broke their gaze and sighed. "And I do appreciate your help." 

Harry had come into this _acting_ like Merlin’s help was a certainty, but Harry had been certain, in spite of all the man's hesitation, that Merlin would. Merlin, however, was not one to be cajoled. And Harry had no idea if Merlin believed him when he said that, but with over a decade of partnership, of trusting Merlin to have his back....well, that did mean Harry was willing to do a lot for the man. 

Something had changed. Not to the point of danger - Harry was certain of that - but something subtle. Merlin had grumbled and complained, but that was his nature, and he'd willingly gone to take care of Eggsy and the household while Harry was on assignment. He'd tested the boy of his own initiative, gone beyond the bare minimums of the caretaking Harry had requested, and was following up out of concern for Harry's safety.

All of that was true, but _something_ was eating at Merlin. Harry could spot it in the sharp glint of his eyes, the same nettling look he tended to reserve for fresh trainees or lower ranked members who'd begun to irritate him. A wall was going up. "I know you do. Go home. You have your own project to attend to."

Harry nodded, feeling his own face fall to mirror the flatness, and rose out of his seat. "Till next time." 

Harry left Merlin in the shop and made his way through the light throng of pedestrians under the grey sky outside, none of them the wiser about him. Just as these people had never been the wiser about any of the dealings of Kingsman. It was a strange sense to be separate in the world, but not alone. 

That night, after Harry came home and cooked dinner, he made good on his plan to spread Eggsy out over his desk before bed. 

At first Eggsy complained about the sharp wood, but not for very long. Harry was quickly learning what Eggsy liked and didn't, and what made the boy relax. Within minutes, Eggsy was loose-limbed and looking up at Harry with the same trusting awe and love that Harry was beginning to get used to in the very best ways. The lights were on, giving an illusion of danger that their silhouettes might be seen by someone outside, and even that didn't discourage Eggsy. After a few questioning looks in Harry's direction, Eggsy stopped eying the windows.

Windows, however, weren't what Eggsy needed to worry about if he was concerned about being seen.

Harry bent low over Eggsy to kiss him. After all the prep he’d done to relax the boy, Harry could line up and slide inside slowly him without too much discomfort. 

The conversation with Merlin had settled in the far back of Harry's mind, and it was hard to think about thee man watching when Harry had Eggsy under him like this. So Harry held the boy beneath him and whispered filthy, loving words in Eggsy's ear, and by the time they were both spent and Harry had gathered Eggsy, trembling, up in his arms and off to clean up before bed, Harry's mind was clear.

* * *

Benjamin Tranter's home was as bland as his name. The Tranter family's residence was new, like everything else in their lives: new promotion, new marriage, new furniture, and a shiny new car tucked into the little garage. 

Harry turned off a simple security alarm without trouble and began to walk the ground floor, feeling a bit like he was exploring a set on a stage. Only the mess of a young child and the presence of real food in the kitchen belied the fact that this was, indeed, someone's real home. A few someone's, all who were asleep upstairs.

The only inconvenient aspect to Harry's little scouting mission was that he knew Merlin would want more than just a night vision recording. This wasn't for technical detail, it was to hold onto later--and so Harry went about with a small torch in one hand to light the camera's path. He was careful to draw the shades first and he was thorough in his walk of the premises. 

Merlin had chosen a family, a newly well-to-do family, for a reason and so Harry was diligent in taking in those details, everything from the new stainless steel refrigerator to the big screen telly and all of the child's playthings he could find scattered across the carpet. He focused on family photos and a few handwritten letters stuck to the fridge--well wishes from the in-laws. 

Harry stepped around the toys with ease, keeping the camera level as he moved into the den. Mr. Tranter hadn't collected much to put in there yet, just a desk with a few baubles and a small bookcase--something to show guests, perhaps, but not a place the man spent a lot of time. 

With the lower level finished, Harry turned off the torch and tested the stairs before he made his way up. 

The staircase was solid and well-built. Mr. Tranter couldn't afford one of the older homes scattered throughout London that had been gutted and remodeled into a modern style. Nor did he want to err on the side of thrift and move his budding family into a cheaper building that had been slowly sliding towards decay. The carpet still smelled faintly of chemicals from when it had been put down, and the walls were uniform and white, with doorways on the first floor opening onto the hallway with regular spacing. Mass-produced, like others on the street that pressed in on either side.

Tranter's family could be any family. Harry supposed that that was the point.

Harry moved down the hallway more cautiously now. Floorboards creaking was very unlikely in such a new building, but using a torch wouldn't be wise.

He went to the door of the young boy's room first. At three years old, his parents hadn't closed it all the way, and after a brief pause, Harry confirmed the child inside was fast asleep by the pattern of his breathing. Carefully, Harry readied the camera and pushed back the door just enough to slip inside. 

The child had a small bed in one corner, with dinosaur print blankets and a chalkboard tacked up to one wall and a shelf of children's books up on the other. Panning slowly across the room revealed, not to Harry's surprise, that almost everything was new. He caught himself imagining Eggsy in such a space at that age, and while his mind could put the picture together, it was difficult to connect the idea to the present even when he took a single step closer to catch the little slumbering figure within the frame of the lens. 

As soon as Harry had gotten what he needed, he moved to the parents' room. 

Mr. Tranter's wife had clearly decorated the room, from the look of things. One large vanity with a mirror lurked in one corner of the room, while the walls were hung with framed pictures of floral arrangements and small tables were set with pointless decorations: empty vases, bowls full of wooden spheres, and abstract metal sculptures. All were likely ordered right from the catalog of some big box store. Only the bed and dressers looked older. Scratches were borne like scars, marks from the transition into a new life in a new house.

Benjamin and his wife Olivia slept on, oblivious to the additional presence in the room. Mr. Tranter was curled around his wife, one arm loosely settled around her waist. Both were young, of an average to be starting a family together.

Harry drew as close as he dared, paying careful attention to their breathing and the placement of his footsteps. The two of them together in peaceful unawareness filled the screen. It was a little eerie in how comatose they were, but it was probably the most poignant shot Harry had taken that night. They didn't look particularly happy in sleep, and Harry could not determine if they were, but they had all the trappings of it around them. 

When he left the room he made careful stock of the house one more time, noting latches on the windows, electrical boxes, fire alarms, anything he might need to be aware of should he ever infiltrate the house again. He parted the window curtains as they'd been when he'd arrived, and as he left, continued filming all the way out into the street for as long as he could.

* * *

Life with Eggsy was better than Harry had dreamed. The boy seemed to flourish in his household: every day, Eggsy grew bolder, seeking out Harry's help for homework and school problems as well as other things. He grew physically bolder as well. Once the terror of the unknown became more familiar to him, Eggsy was no longer so nervous about sex. More often than not, _he_ was the one seeking Harry out, finishing his homework early so that they could spend the evening together, or attempting something provocative in the hopes that Harry would respond the way he wanted.

Harry had to keep the shades drawn nearly all the time now, but it was a very small price to pay. Every day he was eager to come home to the boy, eager to make dinner, to take Eggsy out, or to stay in, to help Eggsy with whatever he wanted and to keep him wrapped up in Harry’s arms for as long as he could. 

The most amazing thing was that Eggsy was happy. Harry cherished that. 

Even when, not long after he'd spoken to Merlin over their coffee shop meeting, Harry had to sit the boy down and tell him they needed to talk the way he responded to questions about Harry. Eggsy had gotten out of it before, but Harry was serious this time, and slowly, very slowly, Harry worked out a method of practising Eggsy's skills at lying. 

It started simple enough at first. Harry talked a lot about the tells interrogators looked for, unconscious things people did when they were under pressure, but eventually it progressed into Harry taking on the role of the questioner, gently at first, so that Eggsy could practise. 

Eggsy needed reassurance after each interrogation. He wasn't used to seeing Harry as an antagonist, nor to lying to him. Lies and subterfuge seemed contrary to the trust and bond that had formed between them, and so each lesson ended with Eggsy tucked close in Harry's embrace, listening to the older man's praise of what he'd done well while trying to fight back his feelings of guilt.

Over the weeks, Eggsy improved. He learned not to fidget, and how to calmly return eye contact. He learned to take his time answering, and how to avoid stammering and stuttering. Eggsy became proficient at keeping track of his lies so that he could maintain one fluid story throughout questioning, and he slowly got better at not panicking when confronted and put on the spot.

Several times Harry thought of bringing "Sean" over to truly test Eggsy's confidence, but every time he thought about it he couldn't help but remember the subtlest amount of sentiment Merlin revealed to him over coffee. And he remembered reviewing the footage of the short week Merlin had spent with Eggsy, how striking the difference was between them from the time Merlin arrived to the time he'd left. Ultimately, Harry decided against it and instead took Eggsy out among the public with the goal of convincing whoever Harry had them speak to that Harry was Eggsy's father. Eggsy took to that far quicker than he took to facing Harry directly, and Harry decided that would be good enough. 

After several weeks had passed in the strange, but enjoyable routine they'd created, Harry sat Eggsy down at the table and told him he had spoken to Eggsy's case worker and the police, and Harry's lawyers thought he had a very good shot of fighting Michelle for permanent custody. 

"Really?" Eggsy had dropped into his chair easily enough, a soda in hand. Such treats were easier to come by in a household with a much larger salary, and a head who was prone to indulgence. The boy who faced Harry was worlds away from the shy little thing that had reluctantly accepted his help and quivered at the thought of confessing his feelings. "It's gonna have to be really good. I thought this kinda stuff always went to family, unless you could show that family was beatin' up on them, or the like."

"Ah yes, well, it turns out that your mother has had quite a bit of trouble getting her life back in order since you've been away," Harry began, leaning his hip against the edge of the table and folding his arms. "Nothing quite so bad as what they suspected her to be involved in with Dean, but there's been enough minor incidents, as well as issues with an increasingly unreliable income, that when combined might sway a judge in our favour. And considering your extended family is largely out of the picture....well." 

"Is she doin' ok, though? My mum?" Eggsy was thrilled that it was more likely he'd get to stay with Harry, but that knowledge was tempered by the fact that his mother was suffering, and _would_ suffer. Michelle wasn't happy that he was with Harry, and would be even less so once she knew it was no longer a temporary thing.

Harry frowned. This was a very...sensitive point in the conversation. He'd known it would be. "I'm afraid some of her bad habits have only gotten worse. Rhonda didn't tell me this, but...after speaking with the police and after the inquiries my lawyers have made, it wasn't difficult to put it together. I do think she'll find her feet again...someday. But I'd rather see to it that you don't bear the brunt of her struggles in the meantime." Finally Harry pulled up a chair next to Eggsy. "And you know you'd be able to see her whenever you like if you stay with me." 

Eggsy struggled not to show how upset he was. Harry hadn't said it outright, but Eggsy knew what he meant: Michelle had been drinking again. The boy could easily imagine it, how the glass bottles tucked away in the lower kitchen cabinets would multiply and overflow. They'd been numerous enough when he lived there, and not well hidden. Maybe they now perched openly around the flat like the grotesqueries that covered old churches, huddled on every platform and tucked into every nook where they could fit. "What if... she doesn't want to come, though? I... I think she didn't want to take me back here, last time," Eggsy admitted. "You know, when I told you she told me that I was only sayin' stuff because you told me to say it? She got all funny as we were coming back, like when we had to walk through bad parts of London."

"If she won't come to visit you, then I can certainly take you to visit her," Harry scowled. "I had wondered when I saw the two of you out the window if I'd have to chase her down the street to get you back." Harry took a long look at Eggsy. "But I would. Get you back. If anything like that ever does happen, I would make sure of it." He reached between them and squeezed Eggsy's hand. Harry could imagine many scenarios where such a thing could occur, but none of them he intended to let happen, no matter how desperate Michelle became. 

"I just don't want to fight with her. Y'know?" Eggsy shifted closer and tucked himself into the offered arm. By then, he was used to seeking out Harry for physical reassurance as well as emotional, and not embarrassed to do so. "I wish we didn't have to hide everything, so I could just _tell_ her and have her understand. I know I gotta lie to everyone about it, but it's not fair. I should just be able to say where I want to go and what I wanna do, but adults don't listen."

Harry bent over him and pressed a kiss to Eggsy's head. "I know," Harry sighed. "Believe me, I know." Harry stroked his hair until Eggsy was relaxed against him. Harry felt the weight of the near future, but it was what had to be done. If he wanted to keep Eggsy.... And he did very much want to keep Eggsy. The soft strands under Harry’s nose ruffled when he sighed, and it made him remember all the time, the years, he'd thought about touching Eggsy's hair, about running his hands over Eggsy's body, about knowing what it would feel like to have Eggsy looking up at him with such fondness in his eyes. And then, to the furthest reaches of his fantasies, to know what it was like to see Eggsy shooting coy looks at him, beckoning Harry over with eyes full of love and desire. There was no way Harry was going to give that up. "We'll get through it."

"What's gonna happen when I get older?" Eggsy's head turned until he could press his ear against Harry's chest and listen to his heart. "I mean, I gotta lie about stuff now. And I prob'ly gotta lie about when we met and when we started doin' stuff, once I get older. But do I have to lie forever? People are gonna know that you took care of me, so... if we're honest about some stuff later, are people gonna act weird about it?"

"Eggsy....," Harry sighed softly. "A lot is going to change when you get older. You'll grow up. There will be new things you want, and you might...not always feel the same about me as you do now." Harry held up a finger before Eggsy could pull free of his grip to turn and counter him. "Now, before you deny all that, I want you to know that I will be here for you, regardless. And if that never happens, if you still want to be with me when you're older, well then yes, we'll tell everyone we got together after you turned eighteen and damn the lot of them to prove otherwise." 

"I'm not gonna feel different," Eggsy grumbled, but that was all the protestation that Harry received. Harry ended up feeling it instead, from the way that the boy clung to him possessively. That had been yet another strange and oddly thrilling part of the way their relationship was evolving; Eggsy still reacted to the difference in size between them, but it hadn't made Eggsy unusually pliant. He'd become demanding and protective in his own way, as much as was possible for such a young boy. "I don't wanna leave."

Harry gave a soft laugh. "You feel that way now. Time, however, has a way of changing all things." He looked down at Eggsy, half out of his chair and half in Harry's lap, arms wound around Harry's middle like an octopus. "Still, nothing to worry about now. Not for a long time." Harry pulled Eggsy all the way into his lap and forced the boy to meet his eyes. "So, what do you say. Do you still want to live with me? And are you absolutely sure?"

"Yeah." Eggsy considered being flippant about his response, then thought twice. If he was too brash and confident about it, Harry might decide that he wasn't serious or, worse, that he wasn't mature and ready enough to make such a decision and talk to other adults about it. "Yeah, I'm really sure. So long as I can visit with my mum and all, I wanna stay here." There was little to drive Eggsy to want to go back, particularly now that he knew his mother's habits had gotten worse. Part of him still wanted to go back just to help her, but Michelle had never listened to his concerns about her drinking before, or the impulsive splurging that happened every now and then.

One corner of Harry's mouth turned up. "Okay then, it's settled. Rhonda called yesterday to let me know your mother's investigation will be ending any day now, officially. When that happens I'm going to schedule a date to contest custody for you. The judge will hear us out, and then decide." 

Harry knew that the timing was important. He couldn't make his decision seem planned yet he also couldn't make it seem rash. Coordination with Michelle's investigation ending and the counter measures Harry had put in place in his favour were key as well. 

"Us, or just you? Nobody's been really interested in what I want before now." Eggsy considered for a moment, then shifted uncomfortably. He turned to look at Harry, too upset and lost in his own thoughts to take much notice of Harry's approval. "What if my mum gets mad at me? Like, what if she gets so mad I'm not saying what she wants, that she doesn't want to ever see me again?"

"I might be able to request that the judge speak with you in private. It isn't so uncommon in cases like these that you be able to present a statement to her directly." Harry let his fingers drift down the back of Eggsy's neck, the gesture familiar and comforting. "But I do think in this instance that she will want to hear your opinion. It won't be the only factor in her decision, but I've looked into cases she's handled in the past and I think it's likely." Harry felt Eggsy's hesitation. "Your mother will still be upset, but she won't know what you said." 

Eggsy nodded. He preferred that. His mother had been hurt enough in life without needing to hear that her own son didn't want to live with her anymore. "Do you think I'll do ok? With the judge, I mean. Because she's probably gonna ask _why_ I don't wanna go back, and I can't tell her the truth about everything. Do you think we've practiced enough?"

Harry nodded. "I think you'll do well enough. It'll be more than understandable if you're nervous, but you've gotten a grasp on the most telling points. The important thing is that it shouldn't sound too rehearsed. You'll write a statement to give to her beforehand, but she'll want to hear it in your words as well. You know what topics to avoid and how to respond if, on the very rare chance, she asks. You'll be okay." Harry gave Eggsy's back a reassuring rub. 

Harry said it, and so it must be true. Eggsy felt relief wash over him. Harry had a way with things that was almost magical, and if he was certain that Eggsy would do fine, then Eggsy began to feel more confident. Harry was very skilled at predicting how things were going to go, and Eggsy trusted his judgment. "Since I don't get to change anything in our bedroom, can I at least change some stuff in the one I'm supposed to be in, once we know I'm stayin'? It's not like I _never_ go in there."

Harry laughed and let his head fall back, relaxed. "Yes, I suppose I'll have to get used to games and posters and all that soon enough. You can do what you like with your room. Within reason." Harry ruffled Eggsy's hair. So far, Eggsy had been very good about not leaving too much of a mess. Or perhaps it was simply that he didn't have many things. He did leave his books and the game boy and clothes spread out for Harry to pick up or risk tripping over, but it wasn't the sort of mess some part of the back of Harry's mind had dreaded upon bringing a child into his home. 

" _Awesome_." A wide smile spread across the boy's face. Undoubtedly he was planning the changes that he was going to make to the room - something bright, obnoxious, and at complete odds with the character of the rest of the house. "I was gonna ask... how come you've got so many butterflies? And your office is full of Sun papers? It's not bad, just weird is all."

"Ah. Well, the butterflies...there is a certain beauty to them, don't you think? Their wings spread wide, colours still vivid, captured forever in time as they are. It's a weakness of mine to collect such pretty things, if a bit odd." Harry caught Eggsy's eye with a small smile. "And the papers, I do believe those are a story for another time," he sighed. "Right now, it's time for bed."

"It's just weird though. Butterflies are kinda girly. No offense," Eggsy added as Harry dropped a hand onto his shoulder and steered him towards the stairway. "It don't seem like you. Not with the rest of the house and all. Everything else is pretty similar to what I'd have thought a posh house might look like, with all the fancy stuff and wood everything."

Harry gave a soft snort. "Let me have a little individuality." 

Their walk up the stairs, Harry turning lights off as they went, was familiar now, comfortable even. Eggsy could almost lean back into Harry, and Harry would have held him up if he tried. 

"Pyjamas," Harry instructed and shooed Eggsy off to find a pair while Harry brushed his teeth and changed himself. It was almost...routine. 

Eggsy changed quickly, shedding one layer to put on another. In no time at all, he was joining Harry in the toilet, drawing up onto his tiptoes in order to reach his toothbrush and the tube of paste. Eggsy still thought it strange to see Harry dishevelled and in casual dress, no matter how many times he saw him that way. He'd even seen Harry _first_ in more comfortable clothes, but something about the older man being ensconced in formal wear, with not a hair out of place, had solidified in his mind. Getting Harry to lose that facade only made the sight of him in bed that much more thrilling.

Harry of course caught Eggsy watching and shook his head with a half smile and toothbrush firmly lodged in his mouth before rinsing. Harry let a hand trail through Eggsy's hair and down his back as he moved out of the way. 

Pushing back the door to his room while Eggsy finished up, Harry took a look around. There were only little signs Eggsy spent time there. One of the boy's shirts had found its way to the foot of the bed. An extra glass of water sat at the night stand next to an indentation in the extra pillow, but small as they were, Harry took comfort in these signs. He pulled back the covers and resisted giving a meaningful look to the face of the alarm clock, positioned just so towards the bed. Harry had no idea how often Merlin was watching over them, but he himself had fallen behind on reviewing his recordings. 

There was no way to know, short of asking. Merlin wasn't likely to volunteer such information. His reviews had to be frequent, given how much he knew about the situation before Harry told him much of anything, but how often was hard to say.

Harry's preoccupation was cut short by Eggsy entering the room. The boy was already rubbing at his eyes by the time he pulled himself up on the other side of the bed, only struggling a little with the height of the bed frame. Harry held out an arm and Eggsy scooted into the niche he made without hesitation.

Folding Eggsy in his arms felt like coming home. Harry had always liked this house, had always enjoyed living alone, but with Eggsy wrapped up like this.... 

Harry nuzzled into the boy's hair and got a sleepy sound and a little squirm for his trouble. He couldn't help grinning. He was tired, too, but Harry still couldn't keep his hands from running down Eggsy's back, a comfort for himself as much as it was for Eggsy. Harry had learned to force himself to relax over the years, it was essential if he had any hope of balancing his work, but it was the rare times like this where the feeling came naturally. He thought about how nice that was before sleep overtook him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up to everyone, next chapter won't be in at least two weeks.


	19. Chapter 19

The next week passed in a whirl of preparation for Harry. Eggsy continued on as usual, dutifully attending school and completing his homework. So dutiful, in fact, that the school staff thought to comment upon it; Harry was left a flattering voicemail regarding Eggsy's improved scholastics and effort.

Eggsy was curled up on the sofa, doing his homework while waiting for dinner, when he heard the phone ring. A call so late usually meant work, or Landon, and both could mean that the boy's evening would be disrupted as Harry suddenly left to attend to things. Eggsy set down his work and got to his feet, creeping towards the kitchen as quietly as he could manage. Harry had already answered the call, and Eggsy couldn't quite make out the words comprising Harry's half of the conversation.

Harry stood over the stove, phone against his ear in one hand and fork flipping sausages in the other. He was making noises of affirmation and didn't look tense. Although Harry rarely looked tense. 

"Tomorrow then? And we're ready?" Harry gave a pleased hum at whatever was said on the other end of the call. He stirred the boiling vegetables before laying down the spoon and leaning his hip against the stove, visibly focusing his attention on the call. "I need you to be absolutely sure. We can hold this off if necessary." Harry turned just so and Eggsy could see the corner of his mouth lift. "Good to hear it. We'll be there." He ended the call and set the phone atop the counter, turning back to the stove. 

"I have some good news for you, Eggsy," Harry said without looking over his shoulder, like he'd known Eggsy was there the whole time. "We'll be going in to court tomorrow."

"How is that _good_?" Harry continued cooking like his announcement wasn't anything to be concerned about, but Eggsy wasn't so self-assured. Court meant that it was finally happening: he was going to have to fight against his mother in order to stay with Harry. Eggsy felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped out. He knew that going to court would have to happen eventually, but he also hadn't wanted it to be anytime soon. "Doesn't that mean that they want me to leave, tomorrow? What if I have to go? What if... mum is there, and she asks me questions, and gets all angry at me? Or starts crying?"

Harry set down the fork and turned. There was a softness in his face that Eggsy knew was for him. Harry held out his hand for Eggsy to come to him and when Eggsy did, Harry held him against his side. "There is a good chance she will be very upset tomorrow. You're right about that. However, the sooner this starts, the sooner it'll end. You don't have to talk to her. You don't have to say anything at all. In fact, if you want to wait outside, so you don't have to see her, you may." Harry brushed his thumb over Eggsy's cheek. "You'll have to be present for subsequent hearings, but Michelle and I are the ones who need to be there, legally, for this one." 

"Are you sure?" Eggsy knew that, if he wasn't there, his mother was going to assume that Harry was machinating everything. On the other hand, she was likely to assume that anyway. Even from the start, Michelle had disliked and been suspicious of Harry, jumping to conclusions about what he'd been doing and what his intentions were. Michelle hated Harry for representing the loss of her husband, and she would hate him even more once he became symbolic of the loss of her son. Eggsy leaned into Harry's touch and let his gaze drop to the floor. "I just... I hate seein' her upset. I don't want to see and hear her yellin' at you, or at me, and I know she's gonna do that."

"I can take the yelling. And I am sure. If you don't want to be there you don't have to be," Harry reassured the boy. "The judge will receive my notice through my lawyers before the hearing even begins. It is on rather short notice, but it will be a surprise only for Michelle and her representation. I have Rhonda's statements to prove that you are safe and well at my home and I have evidence that you would not remain so if I were to give you over to your mother's care. I don't anticipate the judge will send you back to her while we're sorting this out."

Eggsy nodded. He could only imagine what it would be like if he _did_ have to temporarily go back. Thinking about it raised further questions, however, and made him all the more aware of just how little he knew about how his mother was doing. "...Harry? Do you know if my mum's ok? Besides her name bein' cleared and all. I just... I worry, 'cause things tend to get really bad when she gets upset. She'd come back home with someone awful, or spend the night out, or spend a lot of money on stuff or alcohol and the like, and then she'd feel _worse_ about stuff, and then things would get even worse because she'd be even _more_ upset."

Harry gave a sigh and slouched against the stove, not letting Eggsy out of his arms. "I don't know if she's doing ok," he admitted. "I do know that she's still in communication with Dean, that she's gone to see him several times since he's been transferred to prison. I know that the police have been called on multiple occasions over the past several weeks on noise complaints and when they arrived, found your mother drunk and alone. She still has her job, but she's missed a lot of work. The lawyers I've hired have been investigating all this, and...I don't know much more than they've told me, but they've told me enough. Eggsy, I really don't think it would be best for you to go back to her right now. Even if you feel guilty about it. Not when she's like this."

The more Eggsy heard, the more distraught he looked. He'd seen his mother at her worst before, and that didn't make it any easier to contemplate that they might be going through the same things all over again... but this time alone, because _he_ was part of the pain she was feeling. "I... I know, b-but... Can we help her? I know the NHS has some stuff, but maybe she'd do better if she got to see a different doctor, or something. She'd never really gone to any of the support groups, 'cause she was always workin' or at home to take care of me."

Harry gave him a very bleak smile. "I'd be willing to try, but I know your mother is going to refuse my help." Harry thought for a moment. "I could...perhaps request the judge order her to get sober, which she might be inclined to do for your mother's benefit alone, but since I am petitioning to adopt you permanently, there is little incentive for the court to offer her in return." 

Eggsy’s face crumbled and Harry quickly moved to lower the burners before he lifted Eggsy into his arms, letting him bury his face in Harry's neck. 

"I'll tell you what," Harry offered carefully, "When we get through this, I'll see if I can set something up to be sent to her, anonymously. A grant for a treatment program or something of the like, something that could have been sent from the court so she wouldn't suspect me and throw it away."

Eggsy nodded, but he didn't raise his head. Soon enough, Harry felt damp warmth soaking through his collar and down to his skin. The boy didn't let go or move away, and his grip was going to become troublesome in a few moments once the food began to burn around the edges. "It's supposed to be my job. I'm supposed to take care of her an' I'm _terrible_ at it," Eggsy whispered. "About everything. I'm supposed to take care of her, since dad's not here, but I couldn't stop the stuff with her boyfriends, or the drinking, or starving herself so we had enough money, or none of it."

"No, Eggsy," Harry sighed. "I know I told you that years ago, but I shouldn't have. You are not supposed to take care of your mum. Only when she's eighty and living in hospice will it be your job to take care of her. Right now, it is her job to take care of you." Harry shifted so he could grab the fork with one hand and turn the sausages again. As soon as he was done, his attention went right back to Eggsy. "We'll get through this." Harry rubbed his back and stroked his hair before he set Eggsy back down on the ground.

Eggsy could do nothing but agree. He and Harry would get through things, but his mother was a bit less certain. Harry was right, however: there was nothing that Eggsy could really do. He hadn't been able to take care of his mother or stop her actions when living with her, and he certainly couldn't when living with Harry. She was an adult, and she had much more power to try to make her life healthy than he did. No other adults would take Eggsy's word over his mother's, and he wasn't even old enough to get a job to help out with money.

Harry had said that they could visit, though. Eggsy had to hope that visits would be enough to keep his mother from being depressed, and keep her motivated to stay well.

The boy stayed glued to Harry's side while he finished cooking. The gesture was particularly endearing because of its symbolism; Harry was winning, and it wasn't due to his connections and covert power from being a Kingsman agent, but by virtue of the fact that he'd won Eggsy's affection. Nothing would have worked had Eggsy not decided that he wanted to stay, but he had.

* * *

The next day Harry made his way down to the courthouse alone. He'd called Eggsy to make sure the boy was certain he didn't want to go, and though Eggsy still wasn't absolutely sure on that, Harry could hear just how much he didn't want to see his mum when Harry delivered the news. So much that even the thought of getting out of school for a few hours hadn't motivated him more. Harry relieved him of the choice in the end and told Eggsy he would tell him everything that evening. 

The late lunch crowd was dwindling by the time Harry arrived at the front desk, right on time, and was greeted there by his two very well-funded lawyers. All were smiles, full of confidence, and Harry was very pleased. Eggsy may have been anxious to the point of turning green over this, but Harry had no such troubles. He just had to remember to keep his face impassive as they made their way down the hall where they were greeted and led to their seats by the clerk's assistant. 

Shortly thereafter, Michelle entered with her own lawyer, a woman in an off-the-rack suit that didn't speak well either to her level of experience or her type of clients. Given Michelle's income problems and run-ins with the law, the lawyer was likely to have been acquired through the Legal Aid Agency. Better than nothing, to be certain, but not likely to gain much traction against practiced lawyers from the top firms. Michelle's eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, and full of hatred when she glanced in Harry's direction. She wavered slightly before taking her seat, and Harry would have bet money that the vertigo was from heavy drinking the night prior.

Everyone rose again when the three magistrates entered to take their seats, then quickly sat again. Family cases were small and relatively informal, even with cases as unusual as a non-relative petitioning for custody. 

The lead magistrate cleared his throat. "While the charges against Michelle Unwin have officially been dropped, we convene today to hear another matter brought up by Mr. Harold Hart for the custody of one Gary Unwin. Under normal circumstances, custody of a child would be automatically rendered onto the closest blood relative. I understand that a Mr. Hart has petitioned for alternative custody to be awarded, so that the child in question remains in his care permanently, rather than as a temporary foster. Present your arguments, please, and then Ms. Whittier's client will be given a chance to respond."

Harry nodded to his lawyers, Henry Smith and Richard Kern, when they met his gaze. He heard a sound from across the isle and didn't have to look to know that Michelle had her hand over her mouth to muffle what must have been a sob. She and her lawyer couldn't have received the news earlier than a few hours ago. She'd probably hoped it hadn't been true at all. 

Kern, a tall man with thick grey hair swept in a line as neat as Harry's, stood to deliver their first statements. 

"With respect, Mr. Hart has come to believe over the past several months that his charge, Gary Unwin, had been treated to neglect and negligence while in his mother's care and to return him to such an environment would be unconscionable," Kern began. He directed his attention to the magistrate, his speech clear and unhurried. "It was not uncommon for Michelle to leave her son alone in the house night after night to cook and care for himself, at nine years old. The conditions of her residence, as described by Gary himself, sum up to a two bedroom apartment which Mrs. Unwin lives in constant fear of eviction due to her chronic inability to pay rent. She has also been described, by her son Gary, as often unable to provide enough food and basic necessities of living. The court is aware of her relationship with Dean Baker, who was directly and violently abusive to Mrs. Unwin and Gary has made note that he has not been her first boyfriend to do so. Neighbours William Harlow and Sarah Jefferson have gone on record to confirm this. We have statements from these neighbours as well as officers Jennifer Landry and Dean Knight that Mrs. Unwin has had multiple disturbances at her household including, but not limited to, constant noise complaints involving both herself alone and large gatherings of friends, fighting, and general drunken and disruptive behaviour. We have statements that these actions by Mrs. Unwin have not lessened, but rather increased in the months that she has been investigated for tax fraud and involvement with Dean Baker." 

Kern straightened and let his words sink in. "Due to his mother's increased drinking habits, unstable vocation, and tendency to involve herself with violent men, Mr. Hart believes that Gary Unwin simply will not be safe if he returns to her care."

"I trust that you have copies of the documentation?" When Kern nodded, the lead magistrate leaned to one side to listen to his colleague for a moment, then nodded in return. "The documents will be reviewed upon submission. You are aware, of course, of the sensitive matter of child testimony. Not to be dismissive, but Gary Unwin will have to appear in a subsequent session to be interviewed about these statements. We need to be certain that he is not under duress and hasn't been coached."

Another magistrate, a woman with just a touch of grey in her neat brown bob, pushed her glasses up her nose. "You've stated your case that Mrs. Unwin is unfit for custody, but you've not yet provided a reason that Mr. Hart should be considered as an alternative, rather than with another relative. There is also the option of giving Mrs. Unwin custody with regular oversight from a social worker to ensure that the environment is safe and nurturing. Separating children from their relatives can have a negative effect on their development. Why should a stranger be considered? It's my understanding from the case file that, despite Mr. Hart's claim to be a family friend, that he played no part in Gary Unwin's life for years following the death of the boy's father."

This time Smith, at Harry's other side, stood to answer the magistrate. "You'll note that Mrs. Unwin's sister, Susan Audley, was originally tasked with caring for Gary during Mrs. Unwin's investigation. By Ms. Audley's own statements, the boy did not do well in her care and she felt unable to meet his needs. So _greatly_ did she feel this way that she had intended to place him with a foster carer during the rest of the investigation and when Gary learned of this, he attempted to run away. It should be noted as well that as soon as he was discovered by the police, it was Mr. Hart who stepped in to offer his home to the boy while Mrs. Unwin dealt with her legal affairs. Ms. Audley was only too happy to accept the offer of goodwill. Gary Unwin has been living with Mr. Hart ever since, with weekly check-ins by Rhonda Nichols, the court's appointed case worker, and with no further incidents of misbehaviour nor distress." 

Smith paused only to make a point of glancing over to Michelle and her council. "Let it be noted also that Gary Unwin has had no contact with relatives on his father, Lee Unwin's, side of the family since Mr. Unwin died three years ago, and what contact they had before that was very minor indeed. Turning Gary over to a relative of Mr. Unwin's would barely be any different than turning him over to a stranger. We contest instead that Mr. Hart will be able to provide for Gary's future with far more resources than Mrs. Unwin has available to her, in almost every area--in stability, finances, and most importantly, overall care and attention that Mrs. Unwin has proved to be lacking."

While the magistrates rifled through the files before them to validate Smith's statements, Whittier bristled next to Michelle. "Gary Unwin has not been interviewed by a child psychologist to determine whether or not he is still suffering from distress. My client has noticed unusual behavior during her court-appointed visits. As we know, case worker check-ins cannot always spot every problem, particularly if a child has been counseled to behave in a certain manner or say particular things during check-ins. Additionally, Mr. Hart is not a licensed foster carer, nor has he been through the process required by law to adopt a child. The move from fosterage to adoption is a very serious one, as Mr. Hart is proposing that full legal responsibility be granted to himself, rather than shared responsibility between my client, the local authority, and Mr. Hart."

"I would be fully prepared to go through that process," Harry spoke up before anyone else had time to intervene, just as the magistrates' attention turned to him. 

The magistrate nodded once. "We will need the boy to speak with a court appointed psychologist, although I see Mr. Hart and his legal team have managed to acquire statements from Gary's case worker. Mrs. Unwin, unless you can give us any reason to contest the validity of these statements, any concrete reason that Gary should not remain with Mr. Hart for the duration of this matter, then we are going to concede that Gary will remain in his care until we convene again to settle this. Do you have any such statements to make?"

Michelle's mouth opened and closed silently. She had nothing to tell the court that they would accept. They had already judged her as lacking based upon her love life and her poverty. Her feelings of handing her boy over to the man who had destroyed her life and killed her husband wouldn't have any weight in the legal system. Her suspicions of Harry were without solid evidence to back them up, merely a mother's instinct, which could be easily dismissed as only being part of her bias against Harry Hart. "No, but I beg you to consider... the emotional toll it would have on my boy, to be separated from the only parent he has left. I'd do anything to get him back. Accept regular case worker visits, court oversight on my bank account, whatever it took."

The magistrate nodded to her. "Duly noted, Mrs. Unwin. You'll have until the second of next month to put up a solid defence. At that time we shall reconvene. Between now and then, Mr. Hart," the magistrate directed his attention back to Harry, who met his gaze with confidence, "we'll need you to set up a meeting between Gary and our psychologist. We'll provide you the details. This will be a one on one meeting, with no outside influence from either party. Until then, Gary will remain in your care." 

Kern and Smith began packing up their papers with an air of finality, neither of them smiling, but Harry had a feeling the whole room could sense their satisfaction. His own, possibly, as well. So he gave a nod to the magistrate with an air of relief and an open expression. "Thank you," he offered, sincerely. 

"We'll reconvene on the second of November, one month from now. Until then, you're dismissed." The magistrates, clerk, and assistant all stood. 

So did Harry and his lawyers. He had no desire to linger there any longer than he needed to. Michelle was glancing daggers at him from across the aisle and he had to get back to work. 

Michelle started to rise and walk towards Harry, angry determination in her eyes, but Mrs. Whittier placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her and began to talk in a quiet voice that Harry couldn't hear. Michelle had wanted to confront him, maybe even accuse him, but her lawyer knew better than to allow it. Any documentation of harassment could damage her claim over Eggsy's custody, and they simply couldn't afford to risk any more when Harry was already at an extreme advantage. Wealth wasn't supposed to be a factor in the justice system, but it often was in reality, and Michelle already had black marks against her for her poverty, job insecurity, and legal problems.

Harry walked out of the building flanked by his lawyers. Nothing was decided yet, and yet it already was. It was only a matter of time before the magistrates ruled in his favor.

* * *

A week later, Harry drove Eggsy to an office in the middle of Belgravia. Court appointed though this doctor may have been, Harry's lawyers had made certain they spared no expense at finding the very best professional to asses Eggsy's welfare. That meant only a short jaunt south from Harry's shop to the doctor's, Mr. Beasley’s, home office. 

It also meant that Eggsy was craning his neck to see the million dollar façades as they headed down the walk to Mr. Beasley's residence. Harry, by contrast, kept a calm and steady pace, lingering only enough to let Eggsy catch up after he repeatedly tried and failed to look into the windows over wrought iron fences. When Harry finally stopped in front of a stone columned porch, he grew a little more serious, beckoning Eggsy with an outstretched arm to come in out of the drizzle. Harry gave him a small smile and a wink before he straightened and buzzed the door. 

Eggsy wasn't sure what to expect. His heart was pounding. He knew that passing this test was key to him staying with Harry, and yet Harry had given him very little briefing. The older man had told him that too much meddling would be visible when the psychologist started to question him, but Eggsy hadn't been reassured by that. One wrong step could mean everything. One wrong answer might get Harry into trouble and land him back with his mother.

All Eggsy had to fall back on was the weeks of practise holding eye contact, lying, and not getting flustered in confrontational situations Harry had put him through. But that had been with Harry and just a few others here and there when Harry took him out. Eggsy had no script to guide him here. His words would be his own. 

They were greeted at the door by a young man, rather attractive in fact, with a bright smile and a well tailored suit. "Ah you must be Mr. Beasley's 4 o'clock, then? How do you do, I'm Nathaniel, his assistant." 

"Harry Hart," Harry smiled and shook the young man's hand. "And this is Gary, "Eggsy", Unwin." 

"Very pleased to meet you." Nathaniel gave Eggsy the same bright smile and ushered them into a very tasteful foyer. Rich mahogany furniture adorned the way as Nathaniel led them into a drawing room. "Would you care for any refreshments? Mr. Beasley will be just a minute." 

"Perhaps a cup of tea, thank you," Harry said and Nathaniel hurried off to fetch the tea and his employer. Harry sat down on one of the leather sofas and patted the space beside him for Eggsy. 

Comfortable as it was, Eggsy couldn't relax and sit still. His feet kicked out restlessly, still not quite long enough to touch the ground whenever he sat on a piece of furniture meant for adults. He looked around at the decor and, while it reminded him of Harry's house vaguely, that wasn't enough to dissuade the butterflies in his stomach. He looked at Harry, seated next to him, but didn't speak. Neither of them knew what might be overheard, and they couldn't afford any doubt regarding Mr. Beasley's testimony on his welfare and state of mind.

After a few minutes, Nathaniel came back with the tea and a few biscuits on a platter and Harry thanked him. Following the young man, however, was a short, greying man with a bit of a stomach and a reserved face. One that lit up in the subtlest way at the sight of Harry and was replaced by a kindly smile, if Eggsy could have considered anyone that posh to have been kindly, as he entered the room. 

"Ah, Mr. Beasley. Harry Hart," Harry rose and greeted the man with a firm handshake. 

"And you must be Gary?" the man turned to Eggsy, clear eyes bright behind his glasses. 

The boy nodded, suddenly shy under the scrutiny. "Eggsy, please. Nobody calls me Gary, not even my mum." He got to his feet to shake the man's hand, and only barely shook the sense of vertigo. So much would depend on how this interview went. Harry hadn't said as much, but Eggsy knew it. He would have to convince Mr. Beasley that he wasn't being coerced and really did want to live with Harry. "Are you ready, then? We get to talk now?"

"Straight to business, hm?" Mr. Beasley clapped his hands together and gave Eggsy the same look he'd given Harry. Eggsy was certainly the odd one out of the bunch in his trainers and sports jacket, but he was after all still just a kid. Harry and Mr. Beasley looked like they were cut from the same cloth. "Okay Eggsy, let's go back up to my office and get settled. Nathaniel, would you see that Mr. Hart gets the paperwork he needs?" 

Nathaniel scurried off again while Harry offered Eggsy one last encouraging smile and then sat back down on the sofa looking perfectly collected. Mr. Beasley guided Eggsy to follow him with an outstretched hand. He led Eggsy down a hall just as nice as the foyer and up the staircase. 

The man's office was spacious, and not exactly what Eggsy had pictured when he thought of a psychiatrist's office. It was more like Harry's home office, with a balcony and open drapes letting in the sun on one side, but furnished more like a drawing room. There was no lounge for Eggsy to lie back on, just a desk and two comfortable chairs. 

"Have a seat," Mr. Beasley directed him while the man went to the desk and brought out a file. 

Eggsy sat. He looked everywhere but at Mr. Beasley. Part of him was uncomfortable with the man, who reminded him vaguely of other authority figures that he resented and rebelled against, on principle alone. Part of him was worried that the man's training would let him just look Eggsy in the eye and extract all of his secrets. Far better to examine the leather-bound volumes lining the walls, and the rich carpeting, and the abstract blown glass pattern locked into an acrylic paperweight ball on Mr. Beasley's desk. "So, how's this go, exactly? You ask me questions, and I answer? There's no test or nothin', is there?"

Mr. Beasley laughed softly and put down his pen. "No, no test, nothing like that. We're simply going to talk. I want you to be open and honest with me, so that we can best determine what your living situations have been like and what would be best for you in the future. I want you to know that nothing you say here will put your mother or Mr. Hart in any danger, this is only about what's best for you." He sat back, relaxing a little but kept a steady gaze on Eggsy. "That can be complicated. I'm not here to sway your case in any direction. This meeting is simply to determine how you feel about the matter, and find the nuances of your situation. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess." Eggsy finally looked back at Mr. Beasley. _Really_ looked and met his gaze, instead of just giving him a cursory glance. "It's hard, y'know? I care about my mum. I really, really do, and I don't want to make her sad, but I also don't really want to go back. I like living with Harry, and he's not weird about it. I can see my mum whenever, so long as the social worker says it's alright."

Mr. Beasley nodded without judgement. Eggsy couldn't tell whether he'd been expecting that or not. It was probably an unusual statement from a child, not wanting to go back to his mother, but then again anyone who was involved with the case--and Beasley had his file right there—knew that Michelle had had so many troubles lately. 

"What do you like about living with Harry that you didn't like when you were living at your mother's?" Mr. Beasley asked. 

"I..." Eggsy quieted and glanced down. He didn't like talking poorly about his mother in front of other people, least of all strangers. "He's really nice. I don't... have to worry about stuff. Asking questions, or being different. Or feel bad about being hungry or cold. I don't have to ask, he just told me I can eat however much I want from the kitchen, and got me clothes for school. And he doesn't... like, with my mum, she gets lonely, but the blokes she picks, they're all kinda mean. They don't like me, I know they don't want me to exist, and they're not good for my mum either. I worry about her but when I'm at Harry's I'm not constantly wondering if they're gonna hit me, too."

Mr. Beasley looked a little more sombre when he nodded again. "Has anyone ever hit you? Either your mother or one of her boyfriends?" The question was very mellow considering the weight of its implications. Mr. Beasley's tone was not unlike Harry's whenever Harry had asked Eggsy something difficult. The only trouble was that Eggsy knew where Harry stood. Harry had proved over and over that he was asking because he was on Eggsy's side. Mr. Beasley...could be on Eggsy's side, but it wasn't a sure thing. 

"My mum, no _never_." Eggsy was adamant about that. His mother had been rejecting in other ways, but never violently so. "Her boyfriends haven't actually hit me, but the last one came close. They hit my mum, and I was too close to do anything, but... the last one, I dunno, he was pissed enough that he didn't want me interferin', or maybe thought I was to blame for some quid that was missin' or something. He took a couple of swings at me. Missed, but I locked myself in my room afterwards and went out the back window."

Mr. Beasley frowned. "That was Dean Baker, yes?" When Eggsy nodded, Beasley's mouthed thinned even further. "From what your mother's said, they've been dating for more than a few months now, is that right?" When Eggsy nodded again, Mr. Beasley went on. "How many other boyfriends has she had that were like Dean? Or rather, how many boyfriends has she had and how many have you liked?" He offered Eggsy a hint of a smile, not quite suggesting that he knew the answer to that, but something that might have been meant to encourage Eggsy all the same. 

"A couple, I guess. None as bad as Dean, but I never really liked any of them." Eggsy stared down at his feet, still absently swinging back and forth. "They weren't really nice to her, but I think she was lonely after we lost dad. They just kinda ignored that I was there, or told me to go to my room, or go hang out with friends. They didn't want me around. None of 'em tried to hit me before Dean, though. They just, they liked drinking, usually, so my mum was always worse when they were around, 'cause they encouraged her to go out and party with them."

Mr. Beasley nodded and Eggsy could see him catch on a few things he'd said. The man even made a note on one of the sheets in Eggsy's file. Eggsy was revealing a lot, but then again this was all information they should know. It was just that it had never come out of his mouth before, not to anyone but Harry. Mr. Beasley's smooth tone didn't change. "Your mother drank a lot, then? Worse with them, but....would you say it became a problem? Too often, or difficult to deal with her when she was drinking?" 

"Uh..." Again, Eggsy felt a pang of guilt. It was nobody's business but his and his mother's, he felt, and yet he knew why he was here and why it was important. "I don't know what's a lot. She drank more when she was sad, or with some boyfriends. When she wanted to forget about stuff for awhile, I guess. I don't think it was ever too bad, but she tried to hide the bottles from me under the sink, and that she got sick sometimes. If she'd spent too much, on partyin' or stuff, sometimes we wouldn't have enough for a lot of food, so she'd just stop eating and only make food for me."

Mr. Beasley nodded again, and Eggsy could see now how that was probably his routine, showing that he understood what Eggsy's said, easing them into a pace of questions and answers. He moved on from the drinking to another topic. "That happened a lot? There not being enough food in the house, or her going without? It's been mentioned several times in your file here that she's gone through a few jobs and had some trouble making ends meet."

"Well, y'know. Jobs in London ain't been easy to come by, not for anyone. Mum works a lot but nothing seems to pay much, not even with government help. Didn't matter how many jobs she worked, seemed like, the fridge was always half-empty." Eggsy flashed a brief, half-smile. "Mum used to tease me about that, that I was growin' so fast that I'd eat everythin' as soon as she put it in the cupboards. It wasn't so bad, 'cept for the times she thought she had to go without and I felt guilty eatin' anything right across from her."

Mr. Beasley gave the same, increasingly familiar nod. "You mentioned something before.... That you don't have to worry about being different, or asking questions now. What did you mean by that?" There was a minute furrow in the man's brow, it was so subtle, but it was there. So far Eggsy had talked about a mother who ran into trouble, had her own hardships and perhaps not the best way dealing with them, but a mother who meant well when it came to her son, and a son who seemed to just want a normal home and enough to eat. 

Eggsy immediately shut down. He had no way of knowing how acceptant Mr. Beasley was. Harry had done his best to try to reassure him that there was nothing wrong with being gay and nothing to be ashamed of, but Eggsy was aware that there was plenty to be afraid of. Mr. Beasley might decide that he didn't like Eggsy if he knew that the boy was gay, and to reassign him to whatever fate Eggsy didn't want on that basis. He stayed mute, staring fixedly at the flowerlike design in Mr. Beasley's desk paperweight.

Mr. Beasley folded his hands together and leaned forward, immediately sensing the change. "Whatever you have to say, I'm not here to judge you for it. As far as I can see thus far, you have nothing to be worried about or ashamed of." He let another silence pass between them. "That was a pretty nuanced statement. Did you feel your mother wasn't very interested in listening to you?" 

"Not about some things." That seemed safe enough to say. That could be anything, and Eggsy was sure that other kids disagreed with their parents and weren't listened to. "Not all the time, but that was mostly about stuff that wasn't important, or when I was already thinking stuff she agreed with. If she didn't, she just didn't really want to hear about it. Or she thought my friends were making me think stuff, or gettin' me into trouble, and then she didn't want me to see them anymore."

Mr. Beasley's head cocked ever so slightly. "From what I've read you spent a lot of your time with these friends in your neighbourhood. Some of your neighbours said your mother thought those boys weren't a very good influence on you. But what did you mean when you said you couldn't ask her questions or worry about stuff? That doesn't sound like you were thinking of your friends." 

"Like, there's just some stuff she wouldn't understand. What it's like being a kid, or what people were like at school, or who I am and what I want to do with my life, instead of the idea she has of who I should be." Eggsy's foot kicked out, and he began drumming his heel against the chair's leg in a steady thump. "She'd just get mad and scared, and ground me, and go through my room lookin' for stuff. She threw out some things my mates gave me, once, because she didn't like me havin' them."

"What were those things?" Mr. Beasley asked, still as collected as ever, but Eggsy could tell that the man was catching on to the telling details of Eggsy's story and following the path they made. He didn't look like he was about to judge Eggsy for anything, but it was impossible if he suspected what Eggsy had to say or not. 

"Just, y'know. Some sports magazines and stuff. Nothing _weird_ or anything, but she didn't want me lookin' at them or havin' them." Eggsy felt like the man could see right through him. He was certain that he was sweating enough to give himself away. Eggsy felt a tickle at the back of his neck, but he didn't dare move.

"And why would she not want you to have those magazines?" Mr. Beasley pressed. Dozens of thoughts must have been running through his mind, but Eggsy could see none of them. The man's face, if warm enough, was as impenetrable as stone. And Harry was downstairs, probably sitting right where Eggsy had left him with his cup of tea, chatting with Nathaniel, none the wiser as to what Eggsy was going through in Beasley's office. 

Eggsy didn't want to tell a complete stranger. Mr. Beasley said that he wasn't there to judge him, but people said a lot of things that they didn't mean. Eggsy knew that well enough. "I... I dunno. Maybe she didn't want me to think about goin' into sports, or something. I dunno, she just _took_ them and threw them out, and then she kept an eye on my room afterwards. I didn't feel like I got any privacy, 'cause I knew she was goin' through my stuff."

Finally, Mr. Beasley nodded again, but Eggsy could see that he was still considering. "And you don't feel like that's a problem living with Mr. Hart?" he asked after another moment. He leaned back just a little, enough to display a more relaxed posture. 

The door was right there. Harry was downstairs. Warm sunlight filtered through the windows behind them, and everything about the room created a comfortable atmosphere, but Eggsy couldn't leave. 

"No, Harry lets me read whatever I want. He's even taken me to some bookstores and let me pick out anything that looks interesting. I hardly ever got to go to one of the local libraries, y'know, because they were so far away and mum works all the time, so it's really diff'rent having books around, about anything I wanna read about. Harry lets me ask questions about anything."

"You sound like you feel more comfortable with him than your mother." Mr. Beasley glanced down at the file. "He was a friend of your father's, is that right?" He continued after Eggsy nodded, moving his attention from the papers right back to Eggsy, "Does that mean you spent a lot of time with him when you were growing up?"

"No, I had no idea until later." Eggsy relaxed a bit, far more at ease with this topic than he was with discussing his sexuality and his mother's disapproval. "I ran into him by accident, 'cause he was visiting a friend that lived nearby, a neighbor that was also in the forces. His dog got loose one night, and I caught it for him, and we talked every once in awhile after that, when he happened to be visitin' and I was outside. I didn't know he knew my dad until later."

Mr. Beasley's brows raised at that, but the look on his was only mildly bemused. "Well that's very fortunate. This was all well before your mother's trouble with Dean Baker and the case against him?" Eggsy nodded again. "What was it like, meeting Mr. Hart? Did it mean something to you that he was a friend of your father's?" 

"He didn't mean much when I first met him, no more'n anyone else you just bump into. Just some bloke, with a posh accent that... y'know. I thought he was gonna laugh and look down his nose at me, only he never did. Nothin' really changed until we got to talking and I mentioned my dad, and Harry learned my last name and figured out he'd known him. It..."

Eggsy could feel himself tearing up. He swallowed and tried to will his throat not to close up. "I didn't get to know my dad really, y'know? I was too young for it, when he left. And it hurt mum to talk about him too much, so I just had a couple of stories and some pictures. Harry was able to tell me more about him, and stuff kinda felt different after that. He wasn't just some bloke I'd run into who visited my neighbor off and on, but a friend of my dad's who was _there_ when he died. Who my dad saved."

Mr. Beasley's brows rose again. Eggsy's stirring emotions over his father didn't seem to bother the man. "Your father saved Mr. Hart's life when he died?" That apparently hadn't been in Mr. Beasley's file. His posture hadn't changed, but something else in the air did. He looked like a puzzle piece had just fit into place in his mind. 

"Yeah. Harry was... with him, he told me about it. Just a bit, not anything to upset me. I think he felt kinda... guilty, you know? That he came back, and my dad didn't." Eggsy shifted in his chair. He still got upset thinking about it, that his father just went off on assignment, not knowing that he'd never see his wife or son again. "Harry started askin' me more about how I was doin', worrying about me, I guess. At some point, he told me I could call him if things got bad, 'cause I'd told him about Dean and everything, and when Dean almost hit me that one night I went out my bedroom window and used my emergency phone, and Harry picked me up so I wasn't on the street until my mum got back from talkin' to the police and stuff. Mum recognized him when he dropped me off and got really mad, because she knew him too, the whole thing about him being with my dad and him living when my dad died."

"Ah. That would be hard on anyone...." Mr. Beasley thought for a moment, and Eggsy could see that he hadn't quite shaken the surprise yet. His thoughts were a little more clearly written on his face. "Do you ever feel that way about him? Upset that he came back and your father didn't? It is perfectly natural if you do, or did.... Even if you like Harry now, sometimes we have feelings we can't help."

"Not really. I mean, it doesn't seem like it was really his fault? It's not fair my dad didn't come back, but it's not Harry's fault either. Harry can't replace my dad neither, but it was almost sorta... like he was an uncle I'd not met until then. Like he felt he owed my dad, because they were brothers in the forces or somethin'." Eggsy looked down at his hands again. "I'm glad he doesn't try to actually be my dad, 'cause nobody can. But Harry's nice."

"That's a very mature assessment." Mr. Beasley sounded like he meant it. He looked like he meant it, too. His focus on Eggsy wasn't so imploring just then. It was...sympathetic, if Eggsy had to ascribe a name to it. He gave a soft sigh and straightened a little. "There is the matter though, of whether you think you'd rather go on living with him. Living with him while you grow up, through secondary, all the way until you become an adult, and then you have to consider that your relationship with your mother will have changed quite a lot in that amount of time, even if you get to visit her. It's a very big decision to make." A hint of that imploring look came back into Beasley's eye as he sat and considered Eggsy. 

"I do. Wanna live with him, I mean." Eggsy shifted uncomfortably, and a subdued air clung to him, but he looked directly at Mr. Beasley this time. "It's not that I don't love my mum, 'cause I do. I know it's going to make her sad and angry, too, and I don't want that neither, but... I don't want to go back. I spent a lot of time worryin' about my mum, and tryin' to look after her, and tryin' not to do anything that upset her, but she didn't... really always do the same. She didn't really care if I didn't like her drinking, or going out, or her boyfriends, or anything else. She did her best to take care of me, but I kinda... I think I gotta think about what I want, instead of what she wants. Or wants me to want."

It took a moment of consideration, but then the corner of Mr. Beasley's mouth lifted. "Well," he sighed, looked down at the file and shook his head. "I do have to say, you are a very bright boy for your age. And it sounds like you've been put through a lot in such a short time." He glanced back to Eggsy and closed the manilla folder. "I think I've heard everything I need to hear. And I think you'll be alright, Eggsy, whatever happens. Just so long as you keep that head on your shoulders." 

He gave Eggsy a real smile then and stood. He reached out to shake Eggsy's hand, as though he were a real client. "Thank you very much," Mr. Beasley said when Eggsy tentatively shook. "Now, let's go see what Mr. Hart has gotten up to downstairs, shall we?"

Eggsy nodded and brightened a little. That hadn't seemed so bad. Mr. Beasley had gotten a bit nosy, but Eggsy had been expecting that, and he'd even been _less_ nosey than expected. Mr. Beasley gestured for Eggsy to walk in front of him, and together they left the office and walked down the stairs.

Harry was right where they'd left him, more or less. His cup of tea was finished and left on its saucer, and instead of sitting, Harry had gone to stand beside the window casement and watch pedestrians and cars go by. London was never still, even in the quieter parts.

Harry turned as if politely surprised and as soon as he saw Eggsy, his face split into a smile. It must have been obvious how relieved Eggsy was. 

"Everything went well, then?" Harry asked Eggsy, but it was Mr. Beasley who answered. 

"Indeed, Mr. Hart. I'll forward my notes to the court by tomorrow afternoon at the latest. And I think it's safe to say you've done a lot for Eggsy here. He's lucky to have you." 

"And I'm lucky to have him," Harry countered and curled an arm around Eggsy's shoulder. It was a familial touch, and one born of comfort.

Eggsy blushed, but he kept his eyes on Mr. Beasley. He looked just like a boy with an adopted father figure, nothing less and certainly nothing more. "We're ok to go back home, then?" When Mr. Beasley nodded, Eggsy finally turned towards Harry. "...can we maybe go get ice cream? Before we head back? I've got plenty of time to get my homework done, 'fore you ask. Please?"

"We'll see." Harry cast his eyes to the ceiling and steered Eggsy toward the hall, making sure his jacket was done up properly. Nathaniel graciously saw to the door for them, giving Harry one last minute to turn and give the psychiatrist a very sincere, "Thank you, Mr. Beasley." 

Once the very last pleasantries were at their backs and they were headed off down the walk again, Harry finally spoke up. "For such a smooth meeting, I'd say you do indeed deserve an ice cream." His fingers squeezed Eggsy's shoulder before they climbed into Harry's car. 

"He asked about some stuff I didn't want to talk about, but nothin' like I was worried about. He seemed to like it when I talked about how we figured out that you knew my dad, and how stuff changed after that." Eggsy clicked his seatbelt into place and then they were off, gliding back through the streets of London. Eggsy still wasn't used to Harry's car. Wasn't yet used to the difference between Harry's house and his mother's flat, either. Living with Harry had become the new normal, but Eggsy wasn't certain he'd ever get used to never having to worry about money after years of just scraping by. "'m pretty sure he thinks that I think of you like you're my dad."

"I'm not at all surprised," Harry admitted. He pushed up the bridge of his glasses and cleared his throat as they took the next corner. "That and there was a very conveniently placed air vent between the upstairs office and the downstairs sitting room that I dare say both Mr. Beasley nor his assistant seem not to have noticed." Harry's mouth finally quirked into something of a smile and he glanced over at Eggsy'. "You did very well." 

Eggsy smiled back, and an impish cleverness snuck into the expression. The boy wasn't quite proficient yet on how to spin a lie out of whole cloth, but he'd started becoming skilled at misdirection and bending the truth to suit his needs. "Yeah, well, I had a good teacher, didn't I? You gave me some good ideas about what to tell him, what kinda things he'd be thinkin' and wonderin' about. An' that if you give people what they're looking for, they don't look no further for anything else."

Harry huffed a laugh and shook his head. "Very true, Eggsy. Very true."


	20. Chapter 20

Harry drove them back to a corner shop not far from his home where they picked up treats. Harry even let Eggsy pick out two, so long as he could carry them and promised he wouldn't freeze eating ice cream on such a chilly day. Of course Eggsy did freeze in spite of that promise, but Harry saw him back into the warm house as quick as possible. 

Eggsy thought he was safe once they were through the door, the heat seeping into his bones as soon as it was shut behind them, but after Harry had hung up his jacket, he took the opportunity to bend down over Eggsy's shoulder and steal a bite of his cone. 

" _Hey_! That was mine!" Eggsy protested. The boy couldn't take off his own jacket without entrusting his treat to Harry for a moment, which wasn't going to happen. Eggsy scurried out of reach so Harry couldn't steal any more, and the rapid footsteps excited even Mr. Pickle, who came out of his crate in the other room to see what all the fuss was about. Soon enough Harry and the dog were chasing Eggsy about. "Nuh uh! You can have my coat and shoes when I'm done! I earned this fair and square."

Harry finally caught the boy around the middle and Eggsy squealed, holding his treats out away from him so that Harry couldn't get to them, but instead he found Harry's face pressed into the crook of his neck, tickling him with kisses. 

"What if I'd prefer to eat you up instead?" Harry asked, nipping lightly. Mr. Pickle yipped and started jumping, trying to get in on the fun, so Harry lifted Eggsy into his arms and out of the dog's reach. Mr. Pickle followed at his heels all the way to the kitchen where Harry deposited Eggsy into a chair where he could hold his now melting treats over a plate. 

"That'd be alright. More alright than you stealin' my sweets." Eggsy was making a mess. The plate helped, but now that they were inside, everything was melting at a faster rate. The boy was hard pressed to keep up with the cones, and he had to chase white trickles down his hands with his tongue.

And Eggsy knew exactly how it looked. He'd begun to learn what Harry found teasing and take advantage of it. The first experiment he'd done, with well-closed blinds, had nearly made Harry drop his briefcase in the hallway as he'd caught a glimpse of the boy playing his game console on the sofa, clad only in his pants. Harry hadn't minded the increase in the heating bill at all.

So it wasn't at all surprising when Harry took up position against the counter divide between the kitchen and the dining room, folded his arms over his chest, crossed his ankles, and settled in to watch Eggsy. 

Harry was smiling in that way of his again, more with his eyes than with his mouth, and he looked not hungry for the ice cream, but hungry nevertheless. Drips ran down Eggsy's palms and landed on the plate below. It was a display Eggsy's mother would have chastised him for, making such a mess. She'd have told him he was being gross, but Harry was riveted. 

Eggsy didn't feel rushed. He felt powerful, in fact. He had all of Harry's attention, and Harry was going to wait for however long it took him to finish. Eggsy was tempted to take longer, just to enjoy being the centre of Harry's focus, but he was going to stay the focus for some time. Delaying only meant that he was putting off receiving physical attention, and the boy didn't really want to do that. Harry was more intense about it that he was, but Eggsy loved curling up with Harry, whether it turned into anything more or not.

"Is that my treat, too, for doing well? Gettin' eaten up?"

A real smile spread across Harry's face, that sly one that always went hand in hand with very good things. "Oh yes," Harry said softly, "Although I can't deny I have far less selfless motivations as well." 

Eggsy finished one cone and went to work on the other, holding it with both hands and looking up at Harry while he licked. Harry didn't move an inch, but Eggsy could see exactly what he was doing to the man by the darkening of his eyes and the growing bulge in the front of Harry's trousers. Eggsy had seen that bulge many times now, but with Harry all done up as he was, the quintessential gentleman, and the way he didn't even acknowledge it made that bulge all the more obscene.

Eggsy hadn't put that much thought, when they'd started, or even before then when Harry was just a secret crush, into how different the power levels were between them. It was more than the fact that Harry was bigger and stronger than he was, or wealthier, or that he was older and could get other adults to listen to him and had other powerful adult friends. Harry had so much that he could use, but he didn't, and Eggsy had started to reflect on the fact that Harry didn't talk over his head, or use his money as a weapon, or any of the other things he could have done if he'd felt like it. Harry actually listened to him, took care of him, let him have his own space and make his own decisions, and respected if he didn't want to do something.

But Eggsy _did_ , in fact, want to do something. It just happened that his wants were in alignment with Harry's right then.

And wasn't it funny how Harry seemed to know it, too. Harry may not have laid that expectation down on Eggsy, but he revelled in it when Eggsy wanted what he did. It showed in his face as he stood motionless, completely ignoring the obvious erection creasing the line of his trousers. Harry would wait and Eggsy knew it. 

Mr. Pickle whined from the floor below, still riled up from their antics and sitting at Eggsy's feet looking up at him. The dog was ignored completely. Eggsy took another lick and Harry's eyes followed the curl of his tongue. Harry's stance shifted, just an inch to the left, just enough to widen his stance a bit and relieve some pressure between his legs. 

Eggsy began to move quicker. He didn't really want to wait any more than Harry did. The look on Harry's face when he closed his mouth around the top of his cone was funny enough that Eggsy nearly choked after he started laughing. Try as he might, there was no real dignified way to ignore an erection in a three-piece-suit while staring at an ice cream treat in object jealousy.

If Harry had ever been said to pout, he was sure doing it then. It wasn't an overt expression, but the pull around his mouth and the tenseness in his shoulders combined with the focus in his eyes....well, this was definitely Harry's way of pouting. 

Eggsy bit into the cone and Harry didn't flinch. He did look like he was just barely restraining himself from sidling up to Eggsy, however. There was an open chair right beside him. Harry could have done it, and yet he still didn't move. 

Finishing up took only a few moments, but it felt much longer for both of them. Eggsy slid out of his chair, sticky of hand and mouth alike, and wandered towards the kitchen sink to wash off. That put Harry directly next to his path, and Eggsy's eyes were locked on the older man as he drew closer. The boy wondered if Harry would wait for him to get clean or would start to move the instant he was within arm's reach.

Harry's eyes trained on his own, but Eggsy passed without incident. 

It wasn't until he was at the sink and had dunked his hands under that Harry moved on silent feet. He glided up behind Eggsy, startling the boy before Eggsy had the chance to hear him by wrapping his arms around Eggsy's middle. Harry gave a pleased hum and kissed the corner of his mouth, which Eggsy hadn't cleaned yet, and Eggsy felt Harry's tongue dart out to lick a bit of the ice cream away. 

Eggsy felt his skin prickle into gooseflesh and a rush of heat passed through him. He still wasn't used to this. He wondered if he ever would be, if they'd be together long enough that Harry sneaking up on him to touch and kiss him would be taken for granted instead of providing this secret, taboo sort of thrill. Harry was pressed up against him and Eggsy got a mischievous smile before reaching back with still-wet hands and touching his face. "Gotcha."

Harry pulled back and made a very undignified sound at that. The arms around Eggsy's waist tightened and suddenly he was lifted into the air. 

"You think so?" Harry asked, keeping his head pulled back this time while he grabbed for the towel on the door of the oven. With only one arm holding Eggsy, he inserted his leg between Eggsy's thighs and held him tight while Harry grabbed for his wet hands with the towel. Harry left him little room to fight, and when he squirmed, Harry just brought him down a few inches to hold him better between his arm and leg, the leg that rubbed against Eggsy's bum in a very suggestive way whenever he tried to twist free. 

"That's _cheating_ ," Eggsy protested, but not very loudly. He was too busy laughing and trying to squirm free, or at least give Harry a few more wet handprints before he got caught entirely. "Just wait until I get taller and have long arms, too. Then _you'll_ be in trouble. Maybe I'll snatch _you_ up for a change and carry you off to bed."

"You'd have to work very hard to beat me, Eggsy." Harry turned his voice smooth and low and pressed kisses across the boy's cheek, all the way to his ear before Eggsy was trying to shrug him off because it tickled so much. 

Harry grabbed one of Eggsy's hands with the towel and then the other, dodging all the while, but finally Eggsy was clean and dry and Harry had him conveniently wrapped up in his arms. Harry tossed the towel aside, shifted his stance, and hefted Eggsy up to catch one arm under the boy's legs. Harry looked down at his little pout, smile threatening to break through at any moment, and Harry smirked. "Ready to come upstairs with me?"

"Yeah. I _am_ gonna get you one day, though," Eggsy warned. "Don't care if I gotta work hard, it'll be _worth_ it. Although I don't really mind you carrying me around an' all." Eggsy shifted until his head was against Harry's shoulder. The vantage point was different in Harry's arms, and Eggsy got a much closer look at the artwork and butterflies displayed on the walls as Harry walked past. The latter had always seemed a bit strange to him, a bit morbid for Harry's otherwise-cheerful disposition to have dead insects pinned behind glass and frozen in time.

Harry only chuckled as he toed open the door to his--their-- bedroom. Eggsy may not have decorated it to his liking, but there was his place on the bed right beside Harry's, tangled sheets and all. 

Harry set him down upon it first and then began working to loosen his tie, deftly unbuttoning his suit jacket and shrugging it off along the way. Eggsy's eyes always lit up at this part, watching every movement Harry's fingers made like he was going to remember them for someday later. Someday, perhaps, when he wore a suit. 

Harry rather liked the idea. Before long, he was down to his shirt and trousers, shoes pushed neatly to the side of the bed before he climbed upon it to join Eggsy. 

Eggsy wasted no time in scooting closer. He cast a surprise look at Harry, wondering why he was still clad in so many layers when he clearly wanted to be rid of them, but he said nothing. That didn't mean he was letting it go, however, and no sooner had they settled down together than Eggsy's hands drifted towards the row of buttons down the front of Harry's shirt.

That brought a curl to the corner of Harry's mouth and it quickly became apparent why Harry hadn't done it himself. He wanted Eggsy to. 

Harry leaned over and pressed impatient kisses to the crook of Eggsy's neck, nipping every once in a while, but resisting going for his mouth to not hinder his line of sight to Harry's buttons. Eggsy was getting better at this part, not so afraid of touching Harry's expensive shirts and therefore able to go faster. Harry slipped his own hands under the fabric of Eggsy's shirt and let it ride up until he found the soft skin underneath. 

Harry groaned softly and let his teeth graze against Eggsy's neck, carefully shifting more of his weight over the boy. 

Harry had learned, the first few times, that that was an easy way to rile Eggsy up. If he wasn't already hard, a few moments of kissing and nibbling at his neck quickly changed that, leaving Eggsy gasping and squirming to get closer. The trick worked yet again. Eggsy retained enough focus to keep working at the buttons, but much more slowly. A moment or two later and Harry felt him give up and wrap his limbs around him, wanting to be closer regardless of the clothing that was getting in the way.

It sent a rush of affection through Harry, one he hadn't expected. Eggsy had faced down a psychiatrist for him. Eggsy had lied for him, and had learned how to do it well. And now Eggsy was here, not resenting Harry for any of it, even though Harry was about to take him away from his mother. 

Harry gasped when he pressed his weight down into Eggsy. The small hands at his collar clenched and held on. Quickly, Harry took over removing their clothes. He undid the rest of his buttons and slipped off his shirt, having to tug it free of Eggsy's grip before he got to work on Eggsy's. Harry was much faster about the whole affair, and in very little time Eggsy was naked below him and Harry was just in his trousers, too hurried at that point to care about doing any more than unzipping them. 

Eggsy didn't seem to mind; there was something dirty about indulging in this while still partially clothed. Harry had only suggested dallying at his workplace that one time, but the idea had stuck in Eggsy's head, particularly the fact that things would have to be quick and Harry most likely _wouldn't_ disrobe for it.

Their hips notched together, Harry putting most of his weight on his arms to avoid crushing Eggsy, and the boy nearly mewled as they settled against one another and slid. It was too soon yet to feel any discomfort from friction without lubricant to help things along, and the heat of Harry's cock against his own and the surrounding cooler skin caused Eggsy to close his eyes and buck up against him.

Harry muffled a gasp against Eggsy's ear. He reached out and fumbled for the lube at the bedside table, unwilling to take his eyes off Eggsy. Harry kissed him before he sat up to uncap the bottle and pour a generous amount over his fingers. He was hurried now, little time for the prep they'd need for Eggsy to be ready to take him, so Harry used the lube to coat both of their erections. He took Eggsy's between his fingers to make sure he received as much stimulation as possible while Harry pressed himself against the crook of Eggsy's thigh for quick and shallow thrusts. 

As always, everything else fell away. Eggsy stopped thinking about his testimony from earlier, or that he'd have to do similar again with a judge, or where this all would lead. He stopped feeling guilty thinking about how sad his mother was going to be. Harry was becoming the focal point of his life, and Eggsy didn't want to be anywhere but where he was right then, touched and wanted. 

One small hand stayed pressed to Harry's back, but the other snuck between them. Eggsy's fingers curled and then Harry wasn't just thrusting against the join of hip and thigh, but Eggsy's palm as well.

" _Eggsy,_ " Harry practically whimpered. 

Eggsy could feel him growing harder in his hand. He could feel Harry's lips tremble against his temple, right where Harry had kissed him. Eggsy could have asked for anything in that moment and Harry would have given it to him. But instead, Harry tightened the grip of his own hand, rewarding Eggsy for his boldness. Harry bent and placed an open mouthed kiss against Eggsy's neck, hips beginning to drive faster. 

Eggsy couldn't do much but hold on. He didn't need to, though - Harry moved enough for the both of them, and retained the presence of mind to take care of Eggsy's needs as well as his own. 

Eggsy pressed his palm down harder and tried to imagine that they were doing more than just this. Sliding against one another wasn't bad, and it was certainly better than nothing, but it hadn't been what Harry had promised. Now that he'd tried enough things to start forming opinions, Eggsy had decided that he liked everything, but he liked Harry's mouth on him the most.

Harry groaned open mouthed against his collar, free hand sliding into Eggsy's hair and catching hold. Harry's thrusts grew sharper and Eggsy knew what that meant. His palm brushed over the head of Harry's cock and he had the man whimpering again. Harry's pace quickened and then he froze. Before Eggsy knew it his hand was coated in the slick of Harry's release. 

Harry had been really worked up over that ice cream cone, it seemed. He was breathing hard against Eggsy's neck, the squeeze and rubbing of his fingers paused for the moment it took to catch his breath, but then Harry's gaze lifted out of the corner of his eye to meet Eggsy. Eggsy knew that look now. When Harry got that spark in his eye and curl to his lip and the rest of his face didn't change but it was no less mischievous for it, Eggsy was usually in for it. 

Slowly, Harry gathered himself back together, lifting himself up on his arms and over Eggsy to lean down for a kiss, but at the same time he used his hips to spread Eggsy's knees apart. 

Eggsy's spine went weak at the look, more so when Harry began repositioning his legs. Eggsy’s head swam while they kissed, as Harry had begun to stroke him again, but slowly. Teasingly. Eggsy thought he knew what Harry was going to do, but he didn't know for certain, and anticipation began to wind him up. Seconds ticked by, and Harry coaxed his mouth open more and more, and still Eggsy didn't feel Harry's fingers drifting lower.

He did, however, feel Harry smile against his mouth. Harry could be such a tease when he was relaxed.

When Eggsy made a sound of frustration, Harry finally took the hint, but it wasn't what Eggsy had expected. Not exactly. Harry gripped his hip and shimmied down Eggsy's body, pausing to kiss his belly button as he went--it was a place Harry seemed to love nuzzling on him--but soon enough he moved down farther. Harry's fingers were replaced by his mouth over Eggsy's little cock, and Harry's free hands went for the lube again. 

Eggsy gave a little moan when Harry's mouth closed around him. One of the best parts about it was that there was no discomfort and it didn't take any time at all. A little wait wasn't a bad thing, but Eggsy got impatient. Harry always insisted on taking plenty of time to make sure that he wouldn't get hurt, but that meant Eggsy got frustrated over the fact that he wished he could just make himself relax by thinking about it.

He must have squirmed or kicked his legs because he suddenly felt the huff of Harry's breath out his nose. A laugh at Eggsy's impatience. Soon after though, Eggsy felt one slick finger begin to brush in lazy circles around his hole before Harry gave it more pressure. The tip slipped inside and Eggsy felt his body swallow Harry's finger inch by inch as it passed that ring of muscle. He then felt it again when Harry slowed, curled it, and rubbed against his sweet spot. Harry hummed in approval at the small shudder Eggsy made. 

Eggsy had no way of knowing how far Harry was going to go with this. Usually, Harry only climaxed once when they did this together, but there was a chance that Harry had been more worked up from watching Eggsy eat ice cream than Eggsy knew. In which case, if that proved true, Eggsy would have to make a note to tease Harry that way more often.

Harry kept things slow, and Eggsy sighed and relaxed into the sensations. Now that his hands were free, the boy reached down to slide his fingers through the older man's hair, realizing a bit too late that one hand was still sticky from when Harry had come.

That got him a glance, one that seemed a little bit miffed. At first. But then..... "Trying to get me all dirtied up, are you?" Harry moved his mouth off and said low against Eggsy's skin as he continued to stroke inside him. There was that glint in Harry's eye again. Like he had a secret, one that he was debating on whether or not to share with Eggsy. With his mouth gone, the only pleasure Harry gave him was the tantalizing strokes of his finger; it was just enough to keep him yearning for more. 

"A bit. I mean, I can't do it by myself. 'sides, it just means you gotta shower with me." Eggsy flashed him a smile. "You look... great, when you're perfect and all, done up fancy. But I kinda like that I'm the only one that gets to ruin that and see you all messy."

"In that case, I propose we get to the shower early," Harry said, pulling off his rumpled trousers and socks. "I can think of something you might like." He gathered Eggsy up in his arms, not letting the boy walk by himself and risk breaking their contact before Harry brought him to the toilet. He set Eggsy down only long enough to turn on the shower and wait for the water to heat up, and then Harry was beckoning him inside. 

Confusion was writ all across the boy's face. Unless Harry was thinking about continuing while _in ___the shower, he couldn't imagine why Harry would want to stop and clean off. Harry's surprises had always been pleasant, and Eggsy trusted him, but he just couldn't see where this would go. "Why do we have to shower now? I'm pretty clean already, except where you got my hip."

Harry just chuckled. "You'll see."

He turned Eggsy under the spray and lavished attention upon his skin all the way down. There were no remnants of the ice cream upon his lips after their heated kissing, nor anywhere else, but Harry's hands were as soothing as the warm water. Harry hadn't made it too warm, not enough to put Eggsy into a lethargic state. He obviously still wanted to keep Eggsy worked up, evidenced by the way he reached down and began stroking Eggsy with one hand. His other moved down behind Eggsy, slipping between the cheeks of his arse and opening him up again. 

"Won't it be uncomfortable to do that in here?" Eggsy guessed. He knew enough from the media and discussions amongst older kids that sometimes people tried out having sex in different locations to make things interesting, but often that involved having sex where they weren't supposed to. The shower didn't seem all that adventurous. Just more slippery.

Harry gave him a knowing little smile. "Just watch your footing," he warned. 

He let the water run over Eggsy's back, catching it in his hand and using it and a bit of soap to wash Eggsy down like they really were cleaning up for the night, but Harry didn't stop after it was all rinsed away. 

"Now, turn around," Harry guided Eggsy to face the wall and bend over, making him widen his stance and place his hands against the wall for leverage while the water continued to run between them. Harry kissed his shoulder and then the curve of his spine, and that's when Eggsy realized Harry was going to his knees. 

And that made no sense, not unless Harry just wanted to see what he was doing when fingering him. Eggsy didn't need to be in such a wide stance for that, either. Harry had managed just fine before with his legs less open than they were right then.

The boy tried to turn his head and look over his shoulder, but he froze in mid-movement. Harry's mouth had kept going down his spine, down to right above the cleft of his buttocks, and lingered there for a moment. The older man's hands started to gently spread him open, and Eggsy's heart lodged in his throat. _He wasn't. He **couldn't**._ "H-harry, what are you...?"

Harry made no move to either stop or answer. Eggsy felt the brush of his thumb before Harry moved his head even lower, and then something that certainly wasn't a thumb brushed against Eggsy's opening. It felt a lot like...Harry's tongue. The way it circled, and how soft it was. Everything was wet, so that was hard to tell, but that muscle had a lot of sensation and that...that was definitely Harry's tongue. 

Harry took a good grip of Eggsy's cheeks and kissed the spot. 

Harry was right to warn him about his footing; Eggsy nearly slipped. He couldn't seem to get enough air to just breathe, much less protest that Harry shouldn't be doing that. Eggsy imagined it must be gross, and dirty, and part of him felt a familiar sense of shame well up, the same way it had when he'd first contemplated sex, his attraction to men, or admitted to himself that he liked the idea and reality of being penetrated.

Part of Eggsy was too caught up in how _good_ it felt to listen to the rest of him.

Harry was touching him so slowly, too. Slowly enough to get Eggsy used to the sensation even if it startled him. Even if it continued to make him second guess the whole thing. But Harry...really did make it feel good. It wasn't quite like his fingers. When Harry brushed his tongue against that muscle again, he made it so malleable that Eggsy imagined he could almost _slither_ inside. ....and then he realised that was exactly what Harry was doing, pointing the tip, working it in, licking in circles until one of his hands came up to cup Eggsy's little shaft and Harry began stroking him in time with the prodding tongue. 

Eggsy's forehead joined his palms in resting against the shower wall. The hiss of water filled the boy's ears. Eggsy couldn't see what Harry was doing behind him, but his eyes turned down to watch what he could. The idea of Harry's tongue in him kept him on the edge of panic, and he kept expecting the older man to suddenly stop and declare that it had been a bad idea and something he never wanted to do again. That moment never arrived. Progress was slower than fingers, but gentler.

Gradually, it became a complement to the strokes of Harry's hand, not quite in the same way Harry rubbing against that spot inside him was, but...with an altogether differently stimulating sensation. And the images that came with it. Even if Eggsy couldn't see Harry now, he _had_ seen Harry's tongue before, kissing and licking all over him. Even his belly button when Harry was feeling particularly playful. Harry would look a lot like that now, except in a very different place.

Eggsy whimpered, and even with the sound of water hissing and pattering all around them, it seemed louder in such a small and enclosed space. He was afraid to move. Harry wouldn't hurt him like this, but he might stop. Eggsy might have felt conflicted about enjoying this, but he was. Perhaps especially because it was so taboo, which seemed to be a trait shared by a number of things they did together, and because of what it meant. Harry liked him enough to even want to do _this_ to him.

One of Harry's hands came up to stroke down his side, which meant Harry had to press forward a bit more since there was nothing keeping Eggsy parted for him. He moved in slow rocking motions, reminiscent of the thrust of his hips while he stroked. The thrusts of his tongue became more deliberate and the squeeze of his fingers more sure the more Eggsy's body relaxed. Harry had learned to feel it in him, and it hadn't taken Harry long at all. It probably came with experience, but with just the touch of Harry's hand over his body, Harry seemed to know how long to wait for him to be ready. 

Slowly, cautiously, Eggsy tried to push back against Harry's mouth. There was no danger, in this, of getting hurt if Harry went too deep, because he simply couldn't get deep or rigid enough to hurt anything. Despite Eggsy's fears that Harry might stop, or comment on his enjoyment, the boy heard a sound of approval behind him - one accompanied by a vibrating sensation against his skin, enough to make him gasp.

And still, Harry didn't speed up. The strokes became stronger, but he kept a maddeningly slow pace. Eggsy began to wonder if he was planning on staying that slow until Eggsy asked for more.

It wouldn't hurt to try. Harry always did show a certain appreciation for Eggsy asking for things. Things from him in regard to their exploits, definitely. 

Harry's hand moved back to Eggsy's arse and Eggsy felt himself spread again. He felt Harry's thumb, it must have been his thumb, brush alongside his tongue, making the sensations extra sensitive. Yet still Harry didn't do more than that. His licks turned to kisses and then back to the slow, soft thrusts again, like Harry really was waiting for Eggsy's approval.

Minutes passed while Eggsy worked up the courage to ask, and figured out _what_ he wanted to ask. Part of this, like other things Harry had introduced him to, was that Eggsy didn't know what was possible, or what he might enjoy. Having Harry's fingers wrapped around his cock and his tongue penetrating him didn't make thinking any easier.

"Harry...? I can't... could you maybe go a little faster?" Eggsy had to fight to keep his voice audible and steady. "N-not that it's not good, it's just... too slow?"

Eggsy felt the vibrations from Harry's laugh through his body, but Harry complied immediately. His fingers picked up speed, in time with his tongue. Harry began rubbing at the little head of Eggsy's cock on every stroke, knowing what it would do for him. Harry's thumb didn't slip in any farther. Even though what he was doing with that tongue wasn't quite the same as a prostate massage, he seemed to want to make those two sensations enjoyable all on their own. 

Sex wasn't all about physical stimulation, though. Mental stimulation was just as important, and Harry, like many adults, knew the power that the right thought or suggestion could have. He didn't need to reach Eggsy's prostate for this.

Eggsy had tucked his face against one arm by then, shutting his eyes and muffling his cries from whenever Harry twisted his hand or drew the pad of a finger across his slit. His legs were trembling from the effort of standing while under such an assault, but he was managing. Barely. Too much longer and Harry might very well be forced to catch him as his legs gave out from underneath him.

Harry finally took pity on him and wrapped an arm around his waist, pausing to guide Eggsy gently down to the floor. Harry laid him out on his back, just outside of the spray, and lifted one of his legs over Harry's shoulder. Harry then bent and swiped his tongue all the way from Eggsy's entrance up to his straining little cock before he took it in his mouth. He sucked hard and moved with quick, shallow strokes of his tongue. The benefit to this position was that Eggsy could not only relax, but _see_.

Eggsy didn't last much longer after that. The way he called out Harry's name as he climaxed sent a ripple of satisfaction through the older man. One more memory to cherish, right along with the sight of the soft crease of Eggsy's stomach, the tremble of his lower lip, and the way Eggsy's delicate, boyish eyebrows drew together. Eggsy was flush with colour from sex and the hot water, and the beads of it that trickled over his skin made him all the more enticing.

Harry sat up and ran his hands over Eggsy's water slicked skin, through his hair--softer than ever like this--and then back down again. He let Eggsy rest for a minute before he leaned down, kissed Eggsy's temple, and gathered him into his arms. 

Harry helped Eggsy stand, dunked them under one more rinse, and then turned the water off. As things often went after their showers, Harry took it upon himself to towel dry a very tired Eggsy. He let Eggsy lean into him, wrapped his small body up in the comparatively giant towels Harry owned, and helped him out of the bath before Harry dried himself. 

"Learn something new every day, hm?" Harry asked with that sly hint of a smile. He ruffled Eggsy's hair with the corner of his towel and caught sight of them in the mirror. Eggsy barely came up to his chest. Such an odd pair. 

"I didn't even know you could _do_ that. Well, I mean, you _could_ , but I didn't think anyone ever wanted do." Eggsy flushed and turned his eyes down, caught in a sudden burst of self-consciousness. He'd heard a number of colourful insults and derogatory descriptions from schoolmates and the telly, and several of them could be applied to what Harry had just done. "Wasn't that gross? I don't know if I could ever do something like that."

Harry chuckled. He didn't look disturbed in the least. "Understandable, but no, it wasn't gross. Of course hygiene is always a factor in such affairs, but once all parties involved are well-washed, there's very little to be concerned with." 

Harry steered Eggsy back to their rooms to get dressed again. He put on comfortable clothes this time, no longer the austere gentleman he'd been for Mr. Beasley, but in woollen socks, slacks, and a cashmere sweater, Harry looked perfect to curl up on the couch with for the rest of the day. 

Eggsy stared, just picturing it, and a smile tugged at his mouth. "We don't gotta go out again today, do we? Can we make hot chocolate and read comics together? We don't gotta make a blanket fort, but it'd be fun if we could. It could be like... a secret clubhouse. More than the house is already, because we're pretty secret as it is. If we stash a bunch of things in it, we'd hardly ever have to leave the fort at all, because we'd already have a bunch of food and games and stuff tucked away."

Harry gave a burst of a laugh. It wasn't hard to see that Eggsy was thinking of the first fort they'd made on Harry's couch, but Harry had to admit, he'd enjoyed it immensely as well. Even just being that close to Eggsy for the first time. 

"Sounds like as good a plan as any," Harry relented as Eggsy dressed. "Why don't you go pick out what to read and find some snacks? I'll make us up a fort." He swatted Eggsy's rear as he passed. There was nothing quite like teasing Eggsy to get him going. 

The boy giggled and dashed off. Since their understanding that Eggsy was to minimize his possessions and aesthetical touches in Harry's room, all of the comics Harry had bought for him were tucked away in a bookcase in what was _supposed_ to be Eggsy's room. Only a few weeks ago, being told to pick out snacks would have been a tall order, but Harry had made an effort to make Eggsy feel at home in the kitchen. The boy had his own step stool, so that he didn't need to climb onto the countertops to get at the upper shelves, and Harry had made it very clear that he wasn't under strict rations. If he was hungry, he had permission to eat whatever he wanted in the kitchen, barring the alcohol in the pantry.

Harry found a few blankets and together with strategically placed throw pillows and chairs, a bit of tape, and stuffing the blanket edges between the cushions, he'd constructed a sizeable fort much like the one he'd first made. 

Harry then wandered into the kitchen to fix up the hot chocolate. He found Eggsy perched on his stool, reaching into a cupboard, little arse pert in the air as he leaned up and bent ever so slightly. Just the perfect height for Harry to lay his hand against as he reached around Eggsy for the jar of cocoa. 

"Hey! I might've fallen over, y'know," Eggsy chastised. He never minded the touch so much as the sneaking; for someone so much bigger and heavier, Harry was eerily good at making little noise and putting himself in spaces where he wouldn’t be noticed. He'd snuck up on Eggsy quite a few times, in fact. Sneaking was a particularly odd skill for a tailor, but Eggsy reasoned that it was a good thing for him to have, if only to avoid getting hurt again when he made business trips overseas.

"You got everything all set? I'm still tryin' to decide what snacks we should have."

“Yes." Harry set the water to boil and planted himself just below Eggsy, wrapping his arms loosely around the boy's legs. "I'm partial to those cinnamon and honey granola bars up there, but I expect you'll want the chocolate. Grab both. And there are some truffles in the refrigerator." 

Harry was letting Eggsy ruin dinner, but didn't seem at all reluctant about it. He simply moved back to the kettle and took down a mug for each of them before he set to work on the cocoa. He even added a few marshmallows for good measure before he went back to wrap himself around Eggsy again. 

"Y'know, we should get some whipped cream sometime. I've had hot chocolate with that, once. It was _amazing_." Eggsy stretched up to get at the sweets and granola bars on the higher shelf, then turned within Harry's grip until he was looking at him. "You've gotta let go if I'm gonna get to the fridge, silly," he said, then bent at the waist to kiss Harry's forehead. "Although this is nice, too, lookin' down at you."

The boy paused for a moment in thought. "D'you think I'm gonna get tall? I don't really even know how tall my dad was. I'd probably get close to that, wouldn't I?"

"Hmm, probably." Harry confirmed, and then added. "But he was still shorter than me." With a cheeky pat to Eggsy's side, Harry let him go and grabbed the drinks off the counter, leading the way back to the fort. 

Harry turned most of the lights out, only leaving the two closest to them on so that they'd still be able to see inside. Not quite trusting Eggsy to climb in safely with the mugs, Harry brought them in himself. He'd made sure to include half the coffee table inside the little fort for just that reason. He poked his head out, hair falling over his eyes in a way he couldn't fix just then. At least he knew Eggsy liked that. "Cosy in here. Care to join me?"

"Yeah! Whether you're ready or not!" Eggsy added. Harry was right to worry about mug spillage. Eggsy was so enthusiastic that he nearly ran right into him. Not content to merely join him in the tent, Eggsy decided to take advantage of the close quarters and Harry's sprawled-out position. Tickling someone in a jumper was much easier than trying it when that someone was wearing layers of tailored wool.

"Oh no, don't you dare." But Harry was laughing. He was trying not to, Eggsy could tell. Harry went for his wrists, but Eggsy jumped atop him, climbing atop Harry on the couch until Harry was on the defensive. He lost hold of Eggsy and tried to catch him again, but Eggsy found his ribs and Harry was forced into a foetal position, trying to curl up and get away from Eggsy's hands. "I don't remember this being part of the plan," he protested, and when Eggsy didn't listen, Harry tried another method. "Your cocoa is getting cold!"

"Yeah, alright. I'll let you off easy... _this_ time. Since you brought me cocoa and all." It took another moment to untangle them and straighten up part of the fort that had drooped in the scuffle. Happily, the mugs came out unscathed, and without a drop spilt. Eggsy took hold of his and settled back down, smug that he'd managed to get Harry back for sneaking up on him in the kitchen.

Harry huffed behind him and straightened on the couch. He had to reach around Eggsy to grab his own mug, being too tall to sit up in the space, but it was nice having Eggsy tucked against him like that. He propped himself up on one elbow and took a sip. 

"You know, you're right," Harry began thoughtfully. "I think we could do with some whipped cream sometime soon. I bet you'd taste delicious." He hid his smile with the next sip, but watched Eggsy snort out of the corner of his eye. 

"Maybe _you'd_ taste delicious," Eggsy shot back. He almost nudged Harry, but one glance at the mug in his hand was all it took to think better of it. "How come you like nibbling on me so much? I don't really mind, it just seems different. Like, when I'd look through magazines and stuff, I never really thought about... some of the stuff we've tried. Or putting food on people and then eating it off of them."

"Magazines leave a lot to be desired in the world of indulgence," Harry replied smoothly. "But you never know, perhaps I'm planning to cook you up someday." He pinched Eggsy's side for good measure, making the boy yelp and twist away. He had at least seen it coming and managed to put down the mug. 

Harry found a pillow and used it to help prop himself up. "So, which of these do you suggest we start tonight?" Eggsy had dragged a stack of assorted comics in with him and they laid strewn about the table. 

"X-men, definitely. Spiderman's cool, but we read him last time, and... I dunno, you kinda have to change them up a bit." Eggsy sorted through the comics until he found the one he wanted. "I don't really like it when he's sad and thinking about Uncle Ben, or when his boss is being a jerk. X-men has more characters in it, and more powers. Which is cool, because then you've got teams of super heroes against teams of bad guys. They just talk about stuff, sometimes, that I don't really get."

"Oh?" Harry raised a brow. "Let's have a look then." He let Eggsy pick out one he liked and settle back against Harry, opening the pages. 

Harry made himself comfortable, and made sure he could see, and together they started reading, picking up the lines as they'd done last time with Harry taking over the voice of the narrator until Eggsy grew more comfortable with reading aloud. He wasn't bad at it for someone his age. Even though he was uncertain on some words and couldn't hold such a smooth cadence as Harry, Harry liked listening to him and Eggsy noticed. 

It didn't matter that Harry barely knew the characters, and that Eggsy didn't really know what was going on, having missed a great many issues that explained the plot. They were enjoyable anyway, as much for the company and the artwork as anything else. After they finished the first and switched to a new issue, Eggsy began taking over narration more equally. As they worked through the volumes, Eggsy began to lean until he was resting against Harry's arm.

The chocolate and snacks did an admirable job of tiding him over, but eventually Eggsy’s stomach began to growl in a bid for food with substance.

Reluctantly, Harry departed for the kitchen, allowing Eggsy to stay in the fort and do a bit more reading while he made supper. 

The visit to Mr. Beasley's office was all but forgotten as they ate and talked about the X-Men. Even when conversation wandered, Harry marvelled at the way he'd been able to so completely turn Eggsy's mind to other things. He knew it was only for the time being, that soon Eggsy would think on what he'd said that day. He'd think on his mother and the upcoming hearing, too, but for now Eggsy was content in Harry's home, and Harry was happy to have it that way.

* * *

Time lagged, as it usually did between court cases. Michelle Unwin would have wanted to press forward as quickly as possible to get her son back, but her lawyer doubtlessly advised against such desperate haste. A date for a second hearing was set, and the days slowly crept by, allowing Michelle and her legal team to procure and compile whatever they felt might tip things in their favour.

All for naught, as Harry knew, but that was the point. Michelle had no idea how impossible her odds were. Those labouring under the delusion that blood kin, and particularly mothers, always won out in the end were sadly mistaken about the state of affairs in the courts, even before a sort of meddling and systematic corruption that they couldn't hope to touch.

Eventually, the court date arrived. 

Harry had bought Eggsy clothes for just the occasion. Harry's reassurances didn't touch the spark of worry in the boy's eyes that morning, or the sadness that clung to his outline. "Do I really gotta go?"

"I'm afraid so," Harry said, helping Eggsy into his coat as they readied for the hearing. There was no helping Eggsy's quiet despair and Harry knew it, so he tried to be as gentle as he could. It was the only solace he could offer. 

With a hand on Eggsy's shoulder, Harry collected his keys and his umbrella, taking a moment to fiddle with his watch while Eggsy stared down at the floor. 

Merlin would be listening, Harry knew, just as Harry knew he could depend on his friend to ensure an outcome in their favour. A small, yellow light blinked at him beside the dial in return. 

"Off we go then," Harry turned his attention back to Eggsy, leading the boy out in front of him. "The sooner we get there, the sooner this will be over."

Eggsy dragged his feet the whole way there. He spent the ride in the car staring dejectedly out the window, not really seeing the London streets go by. Eggsy knew from Harry's explanations that they couldn't put this off, and why he had to come, but he was still of an age where avoiding conflict meant that the problem would magically disappear and never have to be faced. The part of Eggsy that felt, on an emotional level, that ignoring his mother meant that his dream life with Harry would never be challenged objected to the idea of having to face her at all. He didn't want to see his mother upset and angry, and on some level he was afraid that Harry might fail to win custody somehow.

It was hard to absorb any of Harry's silent confidence at his side, and even though Harry didn't show it on his face, he _was_ confident. Eggsy knew it by his stride as he led them into the courthouse, heels clacking smartly down the marble hall. 

The two gentlemen who were Harry's lawyers met them just inside. They greeted Harry with warm handshakes and low conversation. All Eggsy could discern was that they were well prepared and looking forward to the hearing. The very opposite of himself. But Harry kept his hand firm on Eggsy's back, under the hood of his coat, planted just between his shoulder blades like he was there to ground Eggsy. 

Eggsy might have given in to nerves and run out of the courthouse, or at least gone and hid in one of the rooms, if Harry hadn't been there to lean on, physically and emotionally. Harry and his lawyers were going to do most of the work and talking, but Eggsy didn't think he'd have had the strength to criticize his mother in front of strangers if he didn't see and feel Harry there supporting him.

Everything the lawyers said went above his head and made him feel bored just hearing the _sounds_ , so Eggsy let his mind wander as he glanced around at their surroundings. Various people were waiting for their sessions and conferring in small groups, yet one was conspicuously absent. "...Harry, I don't see mum. When does everything start?"

"Not too long yet." Harry leaned down a little for Eggsy's benefit, but his eyes caught on a small group of men and women coming down the hall. "Here come the magistrates. And I believe that's Judge Longfellow among them. You remember her, yes?" 

Eggsy nodded but Harry's words didn't dispel the look of concern upon his face, so Harry began to rub his back in soothing motions. "Don't worry," he told Eggsy. "She still has a couple minutes, I'm sure she won't be too long. Rather important day after all."

Before Eggsy could worry on it any longer, they were greeted by a court assistant coming to collect them and take them to their seats. The lawyers went ahead first, and Harry steered Eggsy along with him, taking the boy away from the hall and any attempts at glimpsing his mother coming in through the main doors. 

The courtroom did nothing to soothe Eggsy's nerves. It was relatively small, as small courts for dealing with family matters tended to be, as there was no need for a jury or a plethora of witnesses. Size notwithstanding, the structure had that intimidating, official feel to it that made government buildings, libraries, police stations, and other such places feel so weighty and smothering. It was a place where children were supposed to be quiet and still, which meant that all Eggsy wanted to do was fidget.

The magistrates entered a minute or two after Harry's team and took their seats, each carrying a stack of folders for their own reference. Eggsy wasn't the first or last case of the day.

They arranged their files and sat comfortably, murmuring amongst themselves while Harry's lawyers did the same. 

The door opened again and several heads, including Eggsy and Harry's, turned to find Mrs. Whittier came striding down the isle. She looked only a little frazzled, and carried documents of her own that she set down at a table across from Harry's team. Still there was no Michelle in sight, not even when the murmurs and the squeaking of chairs quieted down. 

Mrs. Whittier brought out a mobile and put it to her ear. Her face was a carefully blank mask, but even Eggsy noticed she was tense. Harry gave his shoulder another rub, but when Eggsy glanced to him, he looked slightly concerned as well. 

Eggsy's mother was late. The boy didn't know what time they were supposed to start, but he could read the awkward silence and the way everyone was looking at Mrs. Whittier where she sat by herself. Eggsy knew that couldn't be good. If Michelle didn't turn up at all, perhaps the magistrates would automatically rule against her without there needing to be a hearing at all.

Minutes ticked by. Mrs. Whittier got up from her chair and approached the Magistrates' table. The conversation between them was short, and hushed to the point that Eggsy couldn't make out the words, but the Magistrates looked thoroughly irritated by the time the exchange was done. One waved a hand to indicate that Mrs. Whittier should retake her seat.

"We'll proceed in 10 minutes. A good many cases are waiting to be heard today, and we cannot afford to wait on the tardiness of one party," another Magistrate announced.

Mrs. Whittier turned and moved down the aisle again, heading for the hall. Eggsy saw her press the mobile to her ear again, but still it looked like she wasn't getting through. 

One or two of the magistrates decided to stretch their legs as well. Harry's lawyers seemed unperturbed, conversing quietly together beside them. Harry himself leaned closer. "I'm sure she's alright. Probably just a late bus; nothing to worry about." His face was calm and warm, but Eggsy could see that Harry was just trying to reassure him.

"Mum's not late, though. Not for something like this." Eggsy tried to infuse confidence into his voice, but even he had his doubts. He remembered too many times where his mother was on probation or needed to be somewhere promptly, only to get fired or have to do more work to secure their government benefits because she'd been too hung over to wake up and get moving on time. Michelle tended to drink when upset and stressed, and Eggsy knew very well that the prospect of losing custody would fit the bill for both.

Harry's lips pursed together. He looked vaguely worried, even if it was just for Eggsy's sake. One of the lawyers turned and looked like he was about to make some kind of light hearted comment for Harry's benefit, but gave up the notion as soon as he saw Eggsy's face. 

Five minutes passed and there was still no sign of Michelle. The magistrates all reconvened by eight minutes while Michelle's lawyer waited outside. Finally, at ten minutes on the dot, Mrs. Whittier re-entered the room. She didn't look happy. Composed, perhaps, but definitely not happy. She approached the magistrates and began to converse quietly with them while Harry's team looked on. 

The magistrates had just been about to call the session to order when the door creaked open. Michelle rushed in, pale and flustered. The whole room turned to look at her, and she ducked her head as she walked to her seat as quickly as possible. She didn't quite run, but came close.

Michelle waited until she was seated to attempt to straighten her clothing and smooth down flyaway hair. Mrs. Whittier knew better than to berate a client in front of the magistrates and opposition, and so they conferred quickly in hushed tones. 

"I'm sorry," were the first words that came out of Michelle’s mouth. "There was a--a man on the train, tried to take my purse an'," she took a breath to calm her speech and then held up her sleeves, which upon closer inspection were sopping wet--as was the side of her face and hair. The faint scent of alcohol permeated the air around her. "Homeless I think--tried to throw a bottle ah gin at me when I fought 'im back." She tried for a laugh, but it fell immediately flat. "I know that's no excuse for bein'--" 

"Very well, Mrs. Unwin; that will be enough." Magistrate Longfellow sat forward, her eyes boring into Michelle, assessing. "Let's get the proceedings started, shall we?" 

Michelle closed her mouth and straightened, nodding tightly, doing her very best to be composed and attentive.

One of the other magistrates took over from there. "Last month we heard the initial complaints filed against Mrs. Unwin by Mr. Hart in a bid for the custody of one Gary Unwin. We have statements from both Michelle's neighbours and the officer who visited her home in response to noise complaints, publicly drunken behaviour, and fights that occurred at the residence, the most recent of these occurring two weeks before the last hearing. We have acknowledged record of Mrs. Unwin's relationship with Dean Baker, although her involvement was not criminal, he was accused of physical abuse toward her and generally creating a threatening home environment for her son. Gary Unwin has since seen the court's appointed psychiatrist, Dr. Beasley, and we have here record of his assessment." The magistrate levelled his gaze at Michelle's lawyer. "Mrs. Whittier, do you have any contending arguments or documents to share with the court?"

"Yes." Mrs. Whittier stood and crossed the floor, manila folders clutched in one hand. She passed them out and waited for the magistrates to open them before speaking again. "These are collected statements from Mrs. Unwin's neighbours and some former coworkers, as well as statements from Eggsy's teachers and a few of his friends. I hope to show that testimony is far from being as clear-cut and damning as Mr. Hart would have you believe. Many people will vouch for my client's abilities to provide for and care for Gary, and while Gary has occasionally had behavioural problems at school, no staff member has ever noted any red flags that signalled abuse or neglect."

Mrs. Whittier straightened and her arms folded behind her back. "Additionally, I would like to point out one anomaly. Mr. Hart has attempted to convince your honours that his involvement with Gary is due to his friendship with Lee Unwin and his sense of responsibility and debt from Mr. Unwin's untimely death. If they were so very close, Mr. Hart would have known years ago that Lee Unwin had a son. His sense of debt was not present during the years that my client was struggling as a single mother, but now that Gary is a bit older, suddenly Mr. Hart has a pressing interest in him. One enough that, upon their meeting and the realization of the fact that he was talking to Lee Unwin's son, Mr. Hart did not approach my client to inform her that he was interacting with her son and to gain her permission, and Gary hid his interactions with Mr. Hart from his mother until such a time that their interactions couldn't be hidden anymore. The secrecy and deception present in the relationship between Gary and Mr. Hart is, I believe, enough to raise questions regarding Mr. Hart's intentions towards Gary Unwin, as such behaviour is typically a red flag."

That did garner a few looks in Harry's direction over the tops of their folders, but Harry sat, face impassive and seemingly unimpressed. Eggsy did notice, however, how unusually stiff he was. 

"Mr. Hart, do you have any explanation for such behaviour?" Magistrate Longfellow asked, putting down her folder and folding her hands over its cover, apparently having finished. 

"Indeed I have," Harry said coolly. He didn't fidget and his voice didn't waver. "It was quite by accident that I ran into Eggsy, and only after did I realize he was Lee's son. The last time I had spoken with his mother, I'd offered her assistance, financial assistance, on behalf of her husband's employer. She refused and accused me of not bringing him back instead. As far as I could see, she never wanted to speak to me again, but upon the first notice of threat to her son, I reintroduced myself and told her point blank that Eggsy had run away from her home because he was afraid of her boyfriend." Harry cocked his head genially, but he sounded like he was ready for a fight. "She promptly threw me out." 

"Curious, and evading the question." Mrs. Whittier was looking more at Harry now than the magistrates seated behind the table. "That doesn't explain why you had been interacting with a young boy for what must have been some time, without feeling compelled to meet the boy's parents and obtain approval for the interaction, as parents generally disapprove of adult strangers spending unsupervised time with their children when they are unaware. Had you introduced yourself from the start, you would have realized who Gary Unwin was much sooner. Instead, you must have built up a friendship with Gary for some time, both prior to and after learning his identity, in order for him to choose to run away into your custody, rather than one of the familiar and close-by neighbours or to the residence of one of his school friends, and did not feel compelled to obtain his mother's approval until very late and during unusual circumstances."

"I hardly think that is evading the question," Harry jumped in before his lawyers could take over. "If by spending 'unsupervised lengths of time' with the boy, you mean chatting in passing in the public yard of the very estate in which the boy lives whilst visiting a friend, then no, I did not see it particularly crucial to inform his guardians. I gave Eggsy my home number only after I learned of his father. It was shortly afterwards that the incident with Dean occurred." 

"And Gary never visited your home before that incident?" Longfellow asked, voice cutting through the room. 

"No, he had not," Harry replied, meeting her gaze. Eggsy even felt him relax where their arms brushed, side by side. 

"Okay." Longfellow nodded, just as Harry's lawyer, Smith, spoke up. 

"This is little more than a thread of conjecture."

There was wasn’t much more Mrs. Whittier could do to back up that thread. While suspicious, Harry was denying any interactions took place while not in public space. Without concrete evidence, she couldn't prove that Harry was lying and in contempt of court.

Eggsy was wide-eyed as he watched the exchange, more so when one of the magistrates cleared his throat. "I understand that Mr. Hart has moved for Mr. Unwin's testimony to be made in private, but I think we can all agree that this will pose a significant disadvantage to the defence. Mr. Unwin, we'd like you to answer a few questions."

"We only ask that Mr. Hart and Mrs. Unwin not be present for Gary's testimony," Harry's other lawyer spoke up quickly. "As _that_ would provide significant and unnecessary pressure on the boy, from both directions." 

Harry gave Eggsy's hand a light squeeze, although his eyes didn't move from the panel of magistrates. No one in the room probably even noticed it. 

From the other side of the aisle, Michelle could be heard whispering something to her lawyer, undoubtedly a plea to stop the motion. 

The lawyers on both sides agreed to the suggestion, with little argument. Without being there, they couldn't influence Eggsy's testimony, but neither could the other side - theoretically at least. Mrs. Whittier seemed to have some doubts, from the way she glanced at Eggsy. She had seen far too many cases where children had been prepped and pressured to deliver particular lines by one of their parents, but she had to hope that the magistrates were sufficiently experienced to recognize the signs of such, as there was no argument she could offer to keep them in the room while denying Harry and his lawyers the same opportunity.

Eggsy watched both sides rise and leave for the door with a sense of panic welling in his chest. Bravery had come easily enough with Harry next to him, but now he was alone.

It was once again Magistrate Longfellow who took the lead. She had spoken to Eggsy before, and perhaps they'd anticipated he might be more comfortable addressing her than the others. She folded her hands before her and took on a relaxed posture. Whether it was natural or not, Eggsy couldn't tell. 

"Now, Gary," she began slowly, "We only have a few questions for you, nothing too difficult. I want you to not worry about how to address the court or anything like that, just talk as you feel comfortable doing so, ok?" When he gave a barely perceptible nod, she went on. "We have here Dr. Beasley's assessment of the situation, and your mental health, and I want you to know that he seems to think you've done quite well through such an upheaval. He's also written down your feelings about going back to your mother or staying with Mr. Hart, but we'd like to hear it from you. Can you tell us a little about what it was like, living with your mother? Did you have troubles at home, with her or with her boyfriends?"

Eggsy looked down at the table in front of him, which started to waver as tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill over. He didn't want to badmouth his mother, but his mother also couldn't hear him. All he had to do was speak, and he'd likely never have to see these magistrates again. "Mum is alright, but her boyfriends are awful. Things are kinda tough, 'cause her work doesn't pay much and neither does the government, so food gets rough sometimes, but it was alright. Her boyfriends were always tossers, though. They didn't want me to exist, or be there. Sometimes they stole money, or stuff. Mum always drank more, when they were around, and Dean hit my mum and almost hit me."

Out of the corner of his blurry vision, Eggsy could see the two lawyers on Harry's side watching him with what he supposed were encouraging looks. He didn't know them and they had little chance of making him feel comfortable, but still....he must have looked so lost. 

Magistrate Longfellow gave Eggsy a moment before she asked another question. "And by contrast, how have you felt about living with Mr. Hart over these past few months?" 

Everyone was still and everything went silent, waiting for him to answer. 

"Much better. I don't have to worry about stuff. Food, or one of her boyfriend's hitting me, or..." Eggsy swallowed and thought about Harry's lie. He'd done it right there, in front of the court, even though they'd had to swear to tell the truth. Eggsy knew that they couldn't tell the truth with everything, but Harry's smooth denial had just been so convincing, so _perfect_. "There's stuff my mum doesn't like about me, but Harry's alright with it and lets me talk about anything and he never goes through my room."

Magistrate Longfellow nodded slowly. The others watched in silence and it was hard to guess at their expressions. Mrs. Whittier across the aisle looked like she wanted to stand up and say something but had to restrain herself. Eggsy was pretty sure that if Harry's lawyers could interrupt right then, they'd tell him what a good job he was doing. The room was empty without Harry, and they were little comfort, but at least they were on Harry's side. 

"Just one more question," Longfellow regarded Eggsy over the rim of her glasses. "If this was all up to you, would you rather go back with your mother, or would you rather live with Mr. Hart?"

"I... I mean, I know what I'm _supposed_ to say." Eggsy looked down at the table in front of him again. His mother's face flashed through his mind, but he had to think about himself and what he wanted, not what his mother wanted. His mother had also wanted him to be straight, and to like Dean, and other things, and Eggsy was only beginning to understand that what parents wanted wasn't always what was actually good for their children. "But... it's not that I don't love my mum, 'cause I do, but I want to stay with Harry. I know that sounds weird, because he's not _really_ my real dad, but it's been really nice living with him and I want to stay there."

His voice sounded so quiet in the courtroom. Compared to how loud the adults had been only minutes ago, how confidently Mrs. Whittier had faced the magistrates and questioned Harry, and how fiercely Harry had countered her. His voice filled up the room when he spoke, and Eggsy was barely a whisper in comparison. 

Still, it was so silent that no one had misheard. 

Magistrate Longfellow nodded once more, and she didn't look like she was judging him, but it was impossible to tell. "Thank you, Gary. That should be all we need from you. You were very brave." She turned to the court assistant. "Please let Mrs. Unwin and Mr. Hart know they may rejoin us." 

The assistant hurried off for the doors while Mrs. Whittier looked down at her papers and made a few notes. She looked like she was biting her lip pretty hard. 

Eggsy watched as his mum and Harry were led back inside. Neither were looking at each other, and neither looked particularly happy, but Harry still seemed to be the far more relaxed of the two. It was hard not to wonder if they had talked out there. 

The boy averted his gaze as they took their seats. Eggsy didn't know if he'd be able to keep himself together if they looked at him questioningly, wondering what he'd told the magistrates in their absence. Having Harry at his side came as a relief. They weren't close enough to be touching, but Eggsy thought he could still feel a warmth and weight radiating from the chair where Harry was sitting.

Longfellow turned towards Harry's legal team. "We've heard from Mrs. Unwin's representation, and from Gary Unwin. Do you have any further documentation or statements to submit to the court?"

Mr. Kern, the tall one, rose to address the panel. "You heard our statements last month, you have before you testimony from our client, statements from local law enforcement, neighbours and witnesses of Mrs. Unwin's home life, a court appointed doctor of psychiatry, and the boy himself. In contrast, you've heard Mrs. Unwin's strikingly sparse arguments and," he paused and shook his head with a laugh, "for whatever reason, she's shown up late and reeking of alcohol for her son's own hearing. I don't think we have any more to say than that." With that, the lawyer sat down and folded his hands before him, looking quite smug.

"We'll have a brief recess to discuss all submitted evidence and testimony. Our clerk will summon both parties when we've reached a decision." Longfellow turned her attention to her folders, as did her fellow magistrates. The discussion between them would start as soon as both sides had vacated the room, but it didn't take a genius to see which outcome was more likely. Harry's case was much stronger, and Michelle's late entrance, accompanied by the scent of alcohol when doubt about her suitability as a caretaker already focused on her substance abuse issues, had done nothing to encourage confidence.

Michelle looked like she was struggling to keep calm. While the lawyers stood and gathered their things, she remained seated, her hands clenched at her knees taking deep breaths of air.

Eggsy felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Harry. His face was blank but amiable, and with that touch he drew Eggsy to stand and come with him and their team out of the room. The lawyers talked in low voices. Mrs. Whittier, who had gotten Michelle to her feet, followed behind them. Harry's hand on the middle of Eggsy's back kept him moving and kept him from turning to see his mother until they spilled out into the hall. 

Eggsy wanted to embrace Harry and seek physical comfort as soon as they were out in the hall, but he felt frozen. He couldn't touch Harry like that right then, not with all the witnesses there would be - his mother being one of them. Eggsy could feel her anguish like a storm cloud right behind him, turning the air heavy and charged and threatening a downpour at any moment.

Eggsy hugged himself. Guilt was eating at him, not just because his choice to leave was hurting his mother, but a little ball of ice had settled into his stomach when Harry had lied to the court. He'd done it so easily and smoothly that, if Eggsy hadn't _known_ that he was lying, he'd never have been able to detect it. That by itself shouldn't have caused him to worry, as Eggsy knew he had done it so they'd win the custody case... but it did bother him. He didn't like the idea that Harry could lie to him without him knowing, or the thought that he might have lied previously.

Harry's hand squeezed his shoulder as the lawyers drew him into their conversation, but he kept Eggsy by his side as the four of them formed a half circle. Eggsy could see Mrs. Whittier and his mum out of the corner of his eye where they'd found a bench. Michelle was hugging herself and, unsurprisingly, staring at him from afar while Mrs. Whittier spoke to her. Michelle didn't look like she was taking in a word of it. She looked like she wanted to get up and walk over, like there were no other people in the room that registered in her perception between herself and Eggsy. 

Five minutes later, the door opened and the court assistant beckoned them all back inside. 

The magistrates were no longer shuffling their papers. They all sat straight and watched as the room filed in. They looked like they had come to a decision. 

They waited until everyone had resumed their seats. Longfellow cleared her throat. "After reviewing the presented testimony and evidence, we have decided to award Mr. Hart custody of Gary Unwin, as his adult guardian. This custody will be subject to probation for a period of time, with a social worker scheduling check-ups every so often to assess Mr. Unwin's well-being. We have also decided that Mrs. Unwin will have limited, supervised visitation. If Mrs. Unwin's circumstances improve, visitation can be re-examined in one year's time to allow for more frequent occurrences, or the removal of required supervision, according to evidence and what is in Gary Unwin's best interests."

Michelle let out a sound that was neither a breath nor a sob, something so strained that she almost collapsed in her chair. "No, _please_ , you don't understand...." Mrs. Whittier's hands went around her shoulders to steady her as she pleaded. "I'm not a bad mother. He did this...all these things. Everything was okay before he came along an'--" 

"I'm sorry Mrs. Unwin, but this decision is final. And that concludes our hearing today." Magistrate Longfellow gave a short nod.

Kern and Smith packed up their files and shook Harry’s hand while Harry gave them a few words of thanks in return. They stood together, Harry helping Eggsy up. The court assistant moved toward Michelle, and gently, along with Mrs. Whittier, began to usher her toward the door even as she still pleaded with them to listen to her. 

"Mr. Hart, if you'd please proceed down the hall with Mr. Unwin, there are a few documents that you'll need to sign. The clerk there will fill you in on anything else you'll need to know, including scheduled visits from Gary's social worker and his mother's visitation rights." Longfellow waited to see Harry's nod, then collected her papers and stood, along with her colleagues. The magistrates left to go to their next case of the day, ignoring Michelle's pleas with a stoicism that only came with practice and desensitization.

Once again they spilled into the hall with a flurry of noise. They were meant to be following the clerk, who motioned toward the end of the hall and to the left to find the office with the necessary paperwork, but Michelle's voice rang out behind them followed by the squeak of trainers on the polished floor. 

" _Eggsy_." 

Eggsy had only lost sight of her for a second, but when he turned his head again she was right there, kneeling down to scoop him in her arms. It was a full bodied embrace, and one that tugged him away from Harry's hand. Harry, who turned abruptly behind him. 

Michelle's move had startled the others, but when Mrs. Whittier raised her voice, calling Michelle's name and moving toward her, Harry held up a hand to stop her. 

"Eggsy...I'm so sorry. _I'm so, so sorry_." Michelle whispered in his ear, not letting go. 

Eggsy returned the embrace, his stomach filling up with misery at how broken his mother sounded. He'd seen her sad or stressed before, but nothing like this. Losing her job, or a boyfriend, or worrying about money was nothing compared with losing a child. It wasn't like they'd never see each other again, but Michelle hated Harry, maybe even enough to think that Harry might stop her from visiting. "It's gonna be ok, mum, really. I've been fine, I'll be fine, you don't gotta worry."

He couldn't see her face very well. Her hair was in the way and she was too close, but he could hear the tears in her voice. "Don't want you to go. Didn't want none of this to happen." She took a few deep breaths to calm herself and just hugged him, then she turned and whispered more deliberately than before. "You be careful, okay? If anything ever happens...you call me. You call your caseworker. Just...I don't want to see you hurt." She hugged him tighter before she finally let him go. 

"Yeah, okay." Eggsy didn't know how to respond to his mother's words. He understood why she'd tell him to be careful, because she always had said things like that, and it made all the more sense given how she didn't trust Harry... but his throat closed up upon realizing that she thought Harry would hurt him. Harry, who had been so very, _very_ careful to make sure he was happy and had everything he needed and didn't feel hurt or frightened. "We can visit sometime soon too, right? That's what Harry told me, that I can see you whenever I want,"

She nodded and wiped at her eyes. "Yeah baby, I'm gonna come visit you as much as I can. You'll be sick of me." Her smile wavered but she put it on and kept it there, trying to look like she'd be ok. She got to her feet again, and Eggsy could see how hard it was for her, how the emotional toll was putting her under physical pressure, but she managed without help. And she did look calmer once she was up. 

She took a breath and let it out quietly. "Okay then. I'll see you soon." 

Eggsy felt Harry's hand on his shoulder once again, and, gently, Harry pulled him away while the others began to take their leave as well. 

Eggsy began to tear up once they reached the office. The notary had been told that they were coming and had already begun putting together the guardianship paperwork Harry would have to sign, but was forced to wait while Eggsy wrapped arms around Harry's waist and attempted to hide how upset he was. Harry returned the embrace and rubbed Eggsy's back to soothe him, which only made Eggsy more embarrassed. He'd been trying so hard to behave like an adult and seem mature and composed, and now he looked like an emotional child.

Fortunately, the clerk had enough sense to keep to his duties in the next room while Eggsy had a moment. For the time being, they were alone. 

"It's okay," Harry told him quietly, "you can cry." He ran his fingers through Eggsy's hair in a gesture intimately familiar now, and yet one not so out of place were they to be seen. "You don't have to be strong all the time." 

Harry's arms were warmth and love and comfort, all things Eggsy needed in that moment. In spite of the way Harry had lied, in spite of Michelle's worries, Harry still wrapped Eggsy up in these things. Harry was the one rock he had left to lean on, and Harry didn't let him down. 

Harry said it was alright to cry, but Eggsy didn't feel like it was. Boys were supposed to be tough, even if they were upset. Eggsy had heard again and again about how keeping a stiff upper lip was an admirable trait, from other people and from the media he'd watched for years. Crying in front of Harry was alright, because Harry understood, but crying in front of strangers would make him feel worse.

"C-can we go home, after this? I just want to be _home_." Back in the safety of Harry's house, where they could curl up together away from prying eyes. Then Eggsy could cry if he felt like it.

"Yes, we can," Harry said softly. 

When Eggsy was composed enough to pull away, Harry took a moment to make sure he was alright. Like Harry could see inside him with just that long glance of his. With one last stroke of Harry's fingers through his hair, Harry left Eggsy at the waiting chairs to go and give a light rap at the office window where he was helped by the clerk only a minute later. 

The clerk had compiled a folder full of forms for Harry to sign. They talked briefly and then Harry found a seat next to Eggsy and began filling out the papers. 

Eggsy tried glancing over to read some of it, but the text made him dizzy. He couldn't understand why people would write it to be so confusing and frustrating. He might ask Harry someday, but at the moment, the boy didn't really care to hear why legal documents were written to put people to sleep. He sat quietly and wished he had bought his Game Boy. Harry turned pages and signed at a steady pace, but to Eggsy's mind, the pages multiplied under his pen, generating five new leaves for each one completed.

Once, when the clerk had gone back to the other room for something, Harry paused to reach over and stroke the back of Eggsy's neck, just a small gesture, but one that was incredibly soothing, before he went back to filling out the papers. 

It must have been at least fifteen minutes before Harry was finished. He brought them up to the counter and exchanged more words and forms with the clerk. He gave Harry some to take home that either had to be signed and returned or perhaps just kept for his records. But _finally_ Harry turned back to Eggsy, forms held at his side, and ready to go. 

They walked through the uncrowded halls of the building together in silence. Stepping out into the world and finding the clouds had cleared somewhat after such an event was like stepping into a completely new day. 

The sun wasn't even at its zenith. That morning's case, and the paperwork, couldn't have taken long at all, and yet it seemed like it had to Eggsy. Fatigue had crept into him, greater than the sort he'd felt after a long stint of homework, or the ache of a day spent skateboarding with his mates. The sunlight washed London in colour, and while Eggsy still had a lingering sadness when remembering how distraught his mother was and how guilty he felt, the sight made him... hopeful.

They didn't have to worry about Michelle taking him away, now, or telling Eggsy that he couldn't see Harry anymore. His life with Harry didn't have to be a short dream. It had become a _reality_.

Harry looked down at him as they walked, and he must have seen something in Eggsy's face because Harry offered him a small smile before he pulled the boy closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 

The walk back to Harry's car wasn't long and the drive through the city felt surreal, moving through streets that would soon become more familiar than those in the opposite direction. Harry's house on the quiet little mew stood waiting for them when they arrived, unchanged from when they had left and yet it held a new significance now. This was home. 

Harry helped Eggsy out of his coat when they were inside. "Care for a cup of tea?" Harry asked as though today were any other day. 

"Yeah. With sugar in." Mr. Pickle stretched and got up from his bed, and Eggsy scratched him behind the ears while Harry began filling the kettle. Eggsy looked down at the dog's watery, trusting eyes and wagging tail. "Hey, Harry? I'm just gonna take Mr. Pickle outside for a second. I'll be right back, alright?"

The dog's excitement immediately picked up as soon as Eggsy started walking him towards the door, and it was a chore to snap the leash onto his collar. 

Animal antics were just what Eggsy needed to get him smiling again as they left the house. Mr. Pickle pulled him down the walkway, inspecting every sight and sound and smell.

Mr. Pickle was _Eggsy's_ dog too, now. He didn't have to constantly worry about when he was going to have to pack up, or what he'd have to leave behind. This was his neighbourhood, and his neighbours. Eggsy wouldn't need to plan for what he was going to do when forced back with his mother, or where he might run away to if that happened and Michelle had another violent boyfriend. He'd gotten to choose his home.

Eggsy turned around to look at Harry's house, with the inviting lights beckoning from just inside the windows. The air was crisp and cool, but Eggsy felt plenty warm from the sight.

Reluctantly, Mr. Pickle let himself be led back inside.

When Eggsy returned, he found Harry waiting for him with two steaming mugs of tea atop the coffee table. Harry was reclined on the couch, his long legs spread out before him with the remote in his hand and the telly on some film playing quietly. His gaze was as warm as the indoors compared to the cold outside. 

"How was the walk around your new neighbourhood?" Harry inquired as Mr. Pickle snuffled around before he settled down to make himself comfortable on the floor. 

"Good. 'specially now that your neighbours don't think I'm casing places an' stuff." Eggsy wasn't about to forget the fact that Harry's neighbours must have thought him a chav, enough to call the Met on him. Not everyone who was upper class was as nice as Harry, but they were just going to have to deal with their disapproval now that Eggsy lived there permanently. "I finally realized why it feels weird, though. Since I lived at Rowley Way with my mum for as long as I can remember, and there's the tracks right in back, right? I hear traffic, but never trains."

Harry's brows rose in interest as he made room for Eggsy on the couch. "Do you miss them?" There appeared to be little weight to the question, as Harry often asked Eggsy things like that and never held it against him if Eggsy said he still liked something about his old neighbourhood better. Today, however, the question could have held more meaning even if Harry didn't show it. He pulled Eggsy into his arms when Eggsy drew closer, giving him little choice about sitting down on the couch or not. Harry hadn't forgotten the way Eggsy clung to him and fought back tears when they'd gotten out of the court room. 

"Yeah, a little. I got used to falling asleep hearing the clacking, or waking up to it. Not that I've been having trouble sleeping or nothin'. It's just weird not hearing it anymore, like going outside and not hearing any birds when it's summer." Eggsy squirmed until he was comfortably settled against Harry. Harry placed a mug in his hands. Eggsy took a swallow and felt warmth spread against his ribs, and with Harry as a solid presence against his side, the boy started to relax. He hadn't been aware how tense he'd been until his frame started unknotting.

"This will take some getting used to. And unfortunately it's not all going to be easier now that you live in a wealthy neighbourhood. You'll find a great many people share the attitudes of our neighbours, for example." Harry sipped his tea and let one hand slide over Eggsy's back. Noting the way Eggsy leaned into it, Harry pressed his fingers in and began a light massage. "You'll start meeting people around here, very likely people your own age. And of course you can still visit your friends when you like, but these sorts of people won't be as...separate as they once were." 

"What d'you mean, separate?" Eggsy took another drink of his tea and let the sugary taste settle on his tongue. Mention of his friends had pulled feelings of sorrow into the light again. With all the complications in his life, distance, and how much Harry had preoccupied him, Eggsy hadn't interacted with his friends outside of school nearly as much as he used to.

Harry gave a hum in thought. "You'll be rubbing elbows with the posh brats in this neighbourhood." 

Harry didn't want to bring up Eggsy's schooling so soon, and all the opportunities that would open up to him once the year was through. He strongly suspected Eggsy would want to stay with what was familiar for as long as he could, but eventually he'd have to move on to secondary and a decision would have to be made. 

"But..." Eggsy frowned. He liked the idea of interacting with upper class boys just about as much as they would, or so Eggsy guessed. "Won't they not want to talk to me? They're gonna know I'm not posh soon as I start talkin' to them. They ain't gonna have anything in common. Maybe football, 'cause I don't see how anyone can't like football, but I don't even know what posh people talk about. You don't count, 'cause you're posh but not really. You're like a normal person."

Harry snorted and patted Eggsy's back. "I simply mean it'll be inevitable." He set down his mug and reclined back against the couch, letting his arm fall around Eggsy. "But it's nothing you need to worry about just yet. And you should still be able to escape when you need to." 

There was a lot to sort out still. Harry had to set up visitation dates with Michelle and schedule appointments with Eggsy's care worker. Fortunately Rhonda was still assigned to his case. She had taken favourably enough to Harry that they shouldn’t have much trouble with her even if Michelle decided to strain things. 

"What do you say we take the day off tomorrow?" Harry asked. "Call it a celebration."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Eggsy's voice didn't have quite as much of its usual pep, and when Harry glanced over the boy was still deep in thought. Harry's words had brought an aspect of their life together to Eggsy's attention that he hadn't considered before. "Harry, why's it inevitable? Just 'cause we're in a posh neighborhood? Does... does that mean I gotta learn to be posh, too? 'Cause I don't think I can. That's like changing an' being someone else entirely."

Harry gave him a small smile and squeezed his shoulder. "No, it doesn't. You don't have to learn to be anything other than what you want to be. Although you may find a certain amount of adaptability will help you along the way." Harry thought for a moment. "For now, however, I'd like you to remain at the school where you're comfortable. I'd like you to see your friends whenever you want, and not feel pressured to change on my account." Harry's smile was a little brighter when he looked at Eggsy again. He even bent to give him a kiss at his temple. 

Eggsy finished up his tea and set the mug down, all the better to turn and wrap his arms around Harry as much as he could. He could only reach so far, but it was far enough. "I didn't really think about school," Eggsy murmured. "I just thought... everythin' was gonna stay the same, except y'know... livin' here with you. I didn't think about stuff before, 'cause there was no point. Might get an apprenticeship, maybe, but nobody I know was ever gonna get to uni or anything. You only go to school because you gotta, not because it's gonna get you anywhere, 'cause you don't got the money to get anywhere."

"Well, you'll have many years to think about it yet. But those doors are open to you now, should you want them." Harry felt good enough about informing Eggsy of that much. It was only an option. And it was true, Eggsy would have a long time to think about it and get used to living with Harry. And that...well, Harry realised the thought of that hadn't quite sank in for him either. In spite of how much he'd thought of it, Eggsy staying with him, him being able to afford all of Eggsy's needs as he got older. ...of Eggsy growing up and pursuing his own desires, wherever that may lead. Eggsy had assumed it would always be this way between them, but Harry knew how much the wants of a young boy changed over time. Among other things. 

With that, Harry gathered Eggsy closer and spread himself out on the couch again, Eggsy seated in his lap. The telly was playing some comedy film he barely recognised, but it was a pleasant background distraction. 

"What're we gonna to tomorrow? It bein' a day off and all." Eggsy didn't want to think about heavy topics anymore. Not for months. It felt wrong to think of serious things when they should have been celebrating the fact that he would get to stay with Harry for certain, and that no one could split them apart. Eggsy glanced over at the television, not really watching what was playing across the screen. "D'you think maybe we could get a Nintendo or something, sometime? They make games two people can play at once, together. That might be fun, playin' together."

Harry laughed. "That's a splendid idea. I had no other plans for the day and it would be nice to liven up the place." Eggsy's effects had left little mark on the house so far, partially due to the fact that Eggsy didn't have much to bring over besides clothes, a couple games, and his school supplies. Harry knew that wouldn't last forever. Much like the comic books, Eggsy would acquire more things with Harry around. However, that wasn't all bad. "I have no doubt I'd whoop your arse in a heartbeat." His smile was cheekier than ever. And Harry, being positioned underneath Eggsy, left himself quite vulnerable to retaliation. 

"You wish! I bet you I'd beat _your_ arse without any practice at all!" A nudge of competition was exactly the right tactic for the moment. Eggsy couldn't help but rise to the challenge. Video games were one of the few things the boy felt he was good at, for all that he'd only ever played his small handheld. Unlike other portions of his life, where he had little control or success would always be out of reach whatever he did, video games made him feel talented. "Whatcha gonna wager, huh?"

Harry raised an eyebrow, his own interest piqued at that. "Hmm, well, let's see. Shall we say we'll have a practise game to start with, and then best two out of three? And if I win...." Harry's smile grew devilish as he leaned closer. "If I win, I'd like to spread you out over my desk again. Before bedtime. You look so delectable in your new pyjamas.... I'd like you to let me have you like that." Harry nipped at Eggsy's ear. "Do you think that's a fair offer?"

"Maybe. Depends on what I get if I win." Eggsy didn't think that his forfeit sounded much like losing at all. It might have been what Harry wanted as a reward, but it was something Eggsy enjoyed, too. The boy gave it some thought, lips slightly pursed as his own wants ran through his mind. "How about... if I win, you get me off as much as I want with your mouth, 'cept without the torture this time. And you gotta wear whatever I want. Deal?"

"That's a deal. And I can't say that I'd be sorry to lose." Harry's smirk split into a grin. "I hear one is expected to seal these things with a kiss." When Eggsy laughed, Harry leaned in farther and pressed their mouths together. He deepened it slowly, as though he really were sealing something between them, but other than that, Harry kept it chaste. His hands didn't wander under Eggsy's clothes, although they did tighten around the boy's middle, just feeling how close he was. For now, that was all Harry needed. 

"Alright. And it's good that you're ok with losing, 'cause you're _gonna_ ," Eggsy proclaimed emphatically. His mischievous smile had reappeared now that he had other things to distract him, and he rocked back and forth happily, not entirely oblivious to the effect the motion was having on Harry. If anything, the boy's smile widened a touch. "Harry, d'you like football? Can we go see a match sometime?"

"You are a little devil," Harry announced and shifted to make himself comfortable under Eggsy. He didn't attempt to hide his own smile. "Although yes, I admit I do enjoy a good match. And maybe, _maybe_ we can go sometime." 

Harry let his head fall back on the couch and laughed when Eggsy fell atop him, asking about when and for what matches, then asking about what teams Harry liked. It was all so easy to fall into, just like it had been before the shadow of the hearing had been cast over their little world. 

Harry knew it gave Eggsy a spark of hope for the future, and honestly, it did for him as well. He could fall into this, and keep falling. He knew Merlin would accuse him of falling too far, but it couldn't be helped. 

He could only hold on while he could.


	21. Chapter 21

Reality imposed itself quickly enough. A few days after their gaming tournament, during which Harry may have let Eggsy win just to see the pride and pleasure on his face, Harry was assigned a new mission. Only a short one, and Harry was suspicious that Merlin may have been involved in encouraging other agents to take more time- and travel-intensive jobs, but it wouldn't be long before Harry was forced to resume his usual share of duties.

Harry was comfortable enough to leave Eggsy alone for the short time that he had to be gone. All the boy would have to do would be to let himself in and help himself to something in the kitchen for dinner. Harry would be back in the wee hours of the morning, enough to get a bit of sleep and see Eggsy off to school the following day.

Harry's flight to Paris that morning had him packing in a hurry, but not fast enough to miss saying goodbye to a very sleepy Eggsy. 

It was difficult, as Harry knew it would be these first few missions, to leave Eggsy alone at the house without thinking about him all day. And resisting the urge to check in. He was on radio silence for the time being, infiltrating the offices of foreign diplomats required such restrictions, but Harry knew it was all for the better regardless. He couldn't let himself fall into such patterns at work. 

Eggsy passed the day at school trying to think up what he was going to do that evening with Harry gone. Dinner wouldn't be a problem - particularly not now that Harry had bought him a step stool to help him reach things - but Eggsy had gotten into a habit of spending every night with Harry in some form or another. The house was strange without him there.

An idea surfaced, and once it caught hold, Eggsy couldn't wait to get back home. He didn't know much about Harry's past, but the photo albums he'd found with Landon couldn't be the only thing Harry had kept around. Everything in Harry's house was a clue, of sorts, about him, even the books he decided to keep on his bookshelf. Eggsy determined that he was going to go on a treasure hunt to learn more about Harry.

His search began after he arrived home that afternoon and had found himself a snack. The photo albums seemed the place to start, since Eggsy hadn't really gotten to look at them much since Harry had been back, and if they were buried in boxes of stuff in Harry's garage stall, then there might be more to find there as well. Though Eggsy had been down there a few times when Harry hadn't brought the car up, he'd never been able to stop and see. As far as he'd been able to tell, there was only the shelf that held a couple boxes, and a small cabinet beside it. 

The way down to the underground garage was a bit creepy without Harry's presence, and Eggsy made the journey without running into any of the neighbours. 

Eggsy had found a penlight in a junk drawer in the kitchen, and he clicked it on to give himself a bit of extra light. The first place he looked was the obvious: the cabinet he hadn't peeked in last time. The metal doors weren't locked, but a quick dig through the contents revealed nothing exciting. Eggsy didn't recognize all of it, but everything looked like it belonged in the garage, mostly to help maintain Harry's car or because Harry didn't want to store some tools and cleaning chemicals in the house proper.

Eggsy shut the doors and moved on to the next target, eying the higher shelf with boxes he hadn't looked at yet. The shelf wasn't so high up for an adult, but for him, it looked impossible.

Impossible but for the support beam next to the car. When Eggsy glanced up, a plan began to form. He'd been a fairly good climber when he'd been going to gymnastics, and he didn't think it would be too difficult to tip the boxes off the shelf if he could get up to the crossbeam and climb his way over. Not much different than the monkey bars at the park, really. He even had the perfect tool to get just high enough to jump up and grab the beam: the stepstool in the kitchen that Harry had bought him.

When Eggsy brought the stool down and positioned it below the beam, he was able to hoist himself up using a foot on the wall and a hand on one of the pipes that ran up the side of a cement support column. Not the best hold, but just enough of one to swing himself high enough to catch the crossbeam with his other hand. With that, he let go of the pipe and got both hands on the beam. With another swing of his lower half, he got his feet up and securely around it, so he didn't have to worry about slipping. 

It didn't take much more effort to work his way across and even look in the boxes to make sure nothing would break if they fell to the floor. 

Eggsy had just let the first box drop to the ground and was getting ready to tip the second when something odd caught his eye. Not...odd in and of itself, as it was only the door to what was probably an electrical panel beside the top of the shelf, but there were....smudges of fingerprints through the dust on it. Like someone had jumped and swiped their hand against the panel, either opening it or closing it. But whoever it was would have had to have been pretty tall to reach that high. 

Eggsy scooted closer along the beam. Even if it was just an electric box, sometimes people kept things in really strange places. The mother of one of his mates had kept money and jewellery in an emptied-out oatmeal canister, his mother had done similar by sticking money under her mattress, and another mate had hidden all of his cigarette packs behind one of his room's ventilation grates. Eggsy could never tell what he might find someplace just because he _thought_ he knew what it contained.

With his leg and one arm wrapped around the beam, he didn't have any trouble reaching out to open the panel. It swung open silently and with little resistance.

Rather than wiring or circuit switches, a something dark and smooth was nestled in foam casing on the other side of the panel. A handgun. Eggsy froze for a moment, then reached out to touch it. Cold metal greeted his fingers. The weapon was real, and not a plastic prop.

It was heavy when he lifted it, careful to take it around the handle. Small grooves in its side dug into his fingers and Eggsy's heartbeat quickened when he brought it out into the low light of the garage. 

It was probably the standard size of a pistol, but it seemed huge in his hand. It also looked...different from any kind of pistol Eggsy had seen before. There was a second barrel underneath the usual one, one that was bigger than the first. It also had not one, but two triggers. When Eggsy turned it to the side, he saw a notch indicating that the safety was on, but when he glanced into the panel he'd taken it from, he didn't see any cases of bullets. It could very well have been loaded already. 

Eggsy had never seen Harry armed. Maybe he had brought a weapon with him before on business trips, but that seemed pretty unlikely. The neighbourhood wasn't likely to have a lot of danger or robberies, unlike places Eggsy had been before. Harry already had an electronic security system anyway, and if someone did break into the house, Harry would have to go _past_ the intruder to get down to the garage and get the gun.

Eggsy's stomach clenched. For some reason, the strange conversation he'd overheard between Landon and Harry came to mind as he held the gun. Harry had tried to explain away some of what he'd heard, but even so, something about it had been odd, with Harry commenting about how he wasn't going soft. Maybe he'd been lying about the conversation. Maybe even who he'd been talking to.

After all, Eggsy would never know. Harry had been perfectly convincing in court when he'd lied.

Eggsy looked around. His arm was getting tired and he had nowhere to put the gun to get down. He couldn't drop it on top of the shelf because there would be no way he could get it down after, and there was no way he felt safe enough about dropping it on the floor. It was his extensive knowledge of action flicks that saved the day in the end, and with a bit of manoeuvring, Eggsy stuck the gun in the back of his trousers. 

Making his way back across the beam and then down the support column wasn't as easy as getting up, but Eggsy had just enough of the pipe to grip and inch back down to the floor. 

Suddenly the boxes of odds and ends weren't that interesting, but he couldn't just leave them there on the floor, one of them tipped over and spilling out. So he righted them and found another photo album along with the first two for the trouble.

Eggsy took the gun back out of his waistband and carefully made his way back up the stairs. His curiosity was far more reserved for the gun than the photo album at that point. Try as he might, he just couldn't think of an explanation for it. 

He could see Harry owning a handgun, maybe even just so that he could go to a range with Landon. It wasn't improbable that they had some overlapping hobbies if they were friends outside of work. Except... if Harry had that hobby, Eggsy thought he would have mentioned it when Eggsy had told him about the places he'd gone with Landon, maybe even offered to take him to the range again since he'd enjoyed it so much. He also would have kept the gun someplace else, like a gun safe. Eggsy didn't know what those looked like, but he imagined they looked like other sorts of safe boxes, and not like an altered electrical box with no locks on it.

Bringing it into the light of the house was surreal. 

When Eggsy stood in the hall, holding it up in front of him, he could see that it wasn't exactly new. By the scuff marks on its side and the wear in the divots on the handle, it looked pretty well used. If this was Harry's, and it could hardly be anyone else's, Harry had had it for a very long time. It was hard to tell what the second barrel was for, too. Something that went with the second trigger, perhaps. It didn't make a whole lot of sense for a gun to have two barrels, unless they shot different things. Eggsy had never heard of a gun like that. 

One thing he was certain about, however, he had plenty of time to think about it before Harry got home that night. 

Eggsy wasn't certain that he wanted to. The idea that Harry might be keeping secrets from him made his chest feel tight. Eggsy didn't want to be suspicious of Harry, or think that Harry might have lied to him about some things. He wanted there to be a simple, rational explanation for the gun.

But Eggsy had also just seen how convincingly and easily Harry could lie, when they were in court. Harry had even tutored him on how to convincingly lie. He had strange conversations with his strange friend Landon. He worked stranger hours than Eggsy had ever heard of a tailor working, even if he was catering to bizarre rich people who were a bit touched in the head. Then there was the mugging and, now that Eggsy thought about it, Harry kept implying that he had several coworkers besides Landon to help him run his shop, but Eggsy had only met the one other clerk, and Harry had never mentioned his other co-workers by name. He didn't tell stories about them either.

If Eggsy had been living back at the estates, he knew what his mum would have told him. Anyone who had a bit too much money and odd hours, well, Michelle had a lot to say about what those neighbours were up to, no matter that her boyfriend had been one of them. 

But Harry..... Eggsy couldn't imagine Harry being involved with the kinds of things that went on around the estates, drugs and weapons and prostitution.... Even theft, Eggsy couldn't see Harry having anything to do with. Harry had money already, probably had always had money. That's what he'd told Eggsy about his family and he sure wasn't faking the accent. It didn't make any sense. 

Eggsy knew that sometimes people in the service made connections with bad people when overseas, but Harry just didn't seem like the type. He was nice. He was considerate and kind. He was gentle. If he'd been a bad person, he would have probably just kidnapped Eggsy, or done things to him and then dropped him in the street. That's what happened on the telly, anyway, and Eggsy knew enough from the telly and listening to people talk that rich people got away with all sorts of things that poor people went to jail for.

What scared Eggsy most, really, wasn't the wild thoughts that Harry might be involved in darker things. What scared him was the sudden thought that, just maybe, he might not know who Harry was. He might not know _Harry_. So much of Eggsy's life had been unstable, or involved people trying to lie to him and trick him, even if they had the best intentions. The idea that maybe Harry had done the same was unbearable.

All Eggsy wanted was for Harry to come home and give him a rational explanation for the gun, and where it had been hidden, so that the cold little whispers of doubt and fear at the back of his mind would quiet for good.

He brought it to the couch with him and for a long time just sat there with it, turning it over in his hands. When he couldn't think about it any longer, he turned on the telly, but it remained a constant weight in his palm. 

When Eggsy got hungry enough, he moved it to the coffee table and went to find what Harry had left for him in the refrigerator. He knew how to use the microwave and that helped the leftover pasta, but when he went back to the living room the gun, sitting there with the lamplight glinting off its dulled metal edges, drew his eye and he wasn't able to pry his thoughts away from it completely for the rest of the night. 

Worry made time crawl by. Eggsy flipped through the channels, but nothing could hold his attention. Turning off the telly wasn't an option either, as he found that the silence in the house ate at him, and so he left it on just so that he'd have some background noise. Mr. Pickle wasn't interested in playing much, and when Eggsy went to try to find something to read, everything reminded him of Harry. The books were Harry's, or he'd bought them for Eggsy.

Eggsy eventually drifted back into the kitchen and fixed himself a mug of hot chocolate, just like Harry tended to do for him when he was feeling upset. It didn't distract him from thinking about Harry, but at least with this, it was in a positive way. It was a ritual he associated with comfort and everything turning out alright in the end.

He curled up on the couch again, this time with one of the blankets from their fort, and tried to get comfortable. 

Eggsy waited a long time for Harry to come home. His hot chocolate had gone cold halfway through and he'd gotten sleepy at about the same point. He stayed awake hours later though, well into the night half watching some supernatural thriller. The film had changed to another one far too boring for Eggsy's tastes before he finally heard footsteps at the door and the turning of keys in the lock. 

Eggsy's body felt leaden as he tried to rouse himself. Harry followed the sound of the telly, but he seemed to be surprised to find Eggsy still awake. Eggsy tried to force a smile and seem at ease, but he wasn't certain if he managed it. "Hey, Harry. Work go ok and everything? 's pretty late."

Harry had come around the corner in his dark navy suit, coat slung over one arm, perfectly together in spite of the late hour apart from a few strands of hair that had escaped its neat sweep. He came to an abrupt halt. 

The way Harry froze wasn't like the way Eggsy had seen anyone freeze before. It wasn't a sudden jerk. It was so fluid, but so abrupt that it couldn't have been anything else. His eyes had landed on the gun sitting right where Eggsy had left it on the coffee table. Harry's gaze moved to Eggsy next, unreadable. 

"Where did you find that?" Harry asked, voice low, but not harsh, over the sound of the telly.

"Why? Do you have more than one? In more than one hiding spot?" Eggsy couldn't imagine that Harry _wouldn't_ know about a gun in his house. It _had_ to be his. If he just had one, and kept it in the same place, he'd know that Eggsy had found that place and not need to ask where it had come from. "How come you've got a weird gun? I've never seen one like this before, even in movies and stuff."

Harry frowned. It was a hard sort of look, like there was stone in the edges of his face where it should have been soft. "You took that out of the garage, didn't you?" he asked, making it clear Eggsy's questions would have to wait. When Eggsy's confusion didn't lessen, nor did he look chastised, Harry sighed. He pushed up his glasses and knelt beside the couch and the table, picking up the gun. "Eggsy, I know Sean took you out shooting, but one day on the range is no reason you should feel comfortable enough to pick this up on your own and take it back into the house." Harry didn't look ashamed that Eggsy had found it. He looked serious. 

"I know enough to know the safety's on," Eggsy protested. The boy's response to Harry's demeanour was visceral, and recognisable for any child his age. Eggsy knew when he was going to get a lecture, and he was so used to enduring such from adults that he struggled to hold onto his confidence and slid, instead, into defensiveness. His confusion was all the more tangible because he had not expected Harry to be like other adults, mostly because he'd never aligned with those stereotypes and expectations. "I was careful. It wasn't like I expected to find it, neither. I didn't think you _owned_ a gun."

Harry checked that the safety was in fact on and then, surprisingly, was the first to break eye contact while he rubbed his temple. "Of course I own a gun, Eggsy. That many years in the service, I’d think it impractical _not_ to own a gun. I just didn't expect anyone to go combing through the garage to find it." When Harry looked up at him again, the man looked calmer. He looked more like the Harry Eggsy knew. 

Eggsy paused and worried at his lower lip. Harry's words felt off, and yet they sounded right. Eggsy could see someone who used to be in the military owning a gun, even if they became something completely different in civilian life, like a tailor. And Harry just... looked like Harry. Soft, open, safe. "I didn't-... I didn't comb through there lookin' for it, 'cause I didn't know you had nothin' like it. I was just lookin' for more photo albums, but I was too short to reach. Why'd you hide it in such a weird spot? I thought people normally had safes or somethin'."

Harry gave him a tight smile and turned the gun over in his hands. It fit him much better than it did Eggsy. "I hid it there for safety. If anything should ever happen, and quickly, a safe wouldn't do much good." When Harry glanced back to him and Eggsy's brows furrowed, Harry went on. "One takes a certain amount of paranoia back from the field, I'm afraid."

"Isn't it too far to do much good all the way in the garage, though? If someone broke in, you gotta go right past them to go get it." Eggsy was forgetting something, he knew it, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what. Harry was looking at him steadily, and something about him was a little bit sad, and Eggsy couldn't hold on to his suspicion. What had seemed rational and alarming now seemed silly, and looking at Harry, Eggsy couldn't remember why he'd doubted the man.

"Not if you're coming in via the garage to find the house has been broken into. Burglars tend to prefer that no one’s home when they rob a place." The sad smile at the edges of Harry's mouth lifted a little, sensing Eggsy's withering resolve. Harry raised a hand to card through Eggsy's hair in silent apology. "I'm sorry it startled you, finding it up there. And you were careful with it, although I'd rather not think about how you must have gotten it down." Harry let a bit of the reprimand he'd almost given Eggsy into his gaze, but he held it back all the same. 

Eggsy caved. His chin lowered as his gaze dropped, and guilt flitted across the boy's face. He hadn't really done anything wrong, but that didn't matter. "'m sorry. I was just lookin, y'know, for stuff about you. Because I'd liked the pictures I'd found before. I thought, since I found those in the garage, maybe there was more in there. I left the telly on but the house is quiet and weird when you're gone."

Harry set the gun back down on the table and rose to lift himself up on the couch. He pulled Eggsy into his arms and tucked the boy's head under his chin. "I know," Harry sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt. I should have locked it up when you moved in. Photo albums, comparatively, are quite harmless." Eggsy felt Harry's touch at the back of his scalp again, gently massaging before Harry pulled back. "I'm going to go put it away. Now that you know it's there, I'd prefer it if you didn't try to take it down again unless you need to defend yourself. Okay?"

"Okay," Eggsy readily agreed. Guns were fascinating, but no longer completely magnetic now that Landon had taken him to a shooting range and let him use one. The pull of the taboo was no longer as strong, and Eggsy knew from Landon's instructional lessons that accidents happened even with safety switches. 

The boy turned in his seat on the couch to watch Harry leave, and his heart fluttered. He knew that Harry wasn't leaving the house, but the impulse to follow him was nearly overwhelming - not out of suspicion, but because he'd been away all evening. Eggsy was used to a routine of having Harry there every night, and it was encouraging dependency.

It was a few minutes before Harry returned. Eggsy heard the door to the garage close and then the sounds of Harry hanging up his coat and jacket before footsteps preceded him down the hall. Harry was undoing his cuff links and tie, and he looked tired. Eggsy hadn't noticed before, or perhaps it was that Harry hadn't looked tired before, but he did now. It was late. Or maybe Harry had lingering thoughts about Eggsy and the gun. 

Harry turned to the kitchen and then glanced back to Eggsy. "Have you had enough to eat tonight?"

"Yeah. I reheated some stuff earlier. And had some hot chocolate, too." Eggsy couldn't stay seated anymore. He got to his feet and walked towards Harry, blanket still draped around him and dragging along the ground like an oversized cloak. 

Eggsy glanced over Harry as he drew closer. His eye caught for a moment on a vivid scuff mark marring the surface of one of Harry's shoes. Harry took great care with his clothes, and Eggsy couldn't remember such a mark on any of his shoes before. "Are you ok?"

Harry blinked. "Perfectly fine, why do you ask?" He reached out to take Eggsy under his arm and lead him up the stairs to get ready for bed, turning off the lights as they went. 

Eggsy didn't catch another glimpse of the scuff until they were in Harry's bedroom and Harry began undressing. Besides that, the rest of his suit looked pristine as usual although Eggsy didn't exactly get up close to see before Harry set his shirt and trousers in the hamper to be cleaned. He raised a brow when he turned and caught Eggsy looking. 

Eggsy blushed, but he didn't look away. "You just seemed kinda... sad? Or maybe tired? And I missed you. I know you weren't gone long, but it was creepy without you here. Mr. Pickle wasn't very good company, he just slept a lot." 

With that, Eggsy let himself tip backwards and fall to bounce against the mattress. He still kept his eyes on Harry, repositioning himself until he was laying on his stomach and his chin rested on one palm.

"Mmm, just tired I think." The corner of Harry’s mouth curled as he climbed up on the bed, reaching for Eggsy. Harry pulled the blanket away and Eggsy let it go easily. Then Harry began to help him undress, too, sliding Eggsy's shirt over his head and tugging his trousers down his legs before he was in a similar state. When Harry bent to kiss his shoulder, Eggsy could see he'd come back to the present somewhat. "Pyjamas tonight?" Harry murmured against his skin. 

Eggsy nodded. He had stayed up most of the night waiting for Harry to get home and worrying about the gun, and everything had unravelled at once. Going without pyjamas was far too tempting for both of them, and Eggsy didn't want anything more than to fall asleep with the reassurance of Harry's form curled around him. "Yeah. I'm tired too."

Fabric shifted as Harry stood to go retrieve Eggsy's pyjamas. The boy stretched out and waited. Nudity had begun to stop being a concern or source of embarrassment for Eggsy; they'd done too much together for it to remain so, and Harry had communicated repetitively in word and deed that he found Eggsy attractive. "...Harry? How come you never talk about it? Bein' a soldier."

Harry glanced over his shoulder before he turned around with a fresh pair of Eggsy's pyjamas, still soft and smelling of detergent. "It doesn't make the best conversation I suppose," Harry said as he helped the sleeves of Eggsy's shirt over his arms, not even chastening the boy for how lazy he was being, flopping about to let Harry dress him like this. "And the nature of the work was always...subject to a fair amount of secrecy," Harry admitted as he tugged Eggsy's trousers up his hips and climbed in next to the boy. Harry kept his robe, but he preferred sleeping in just his shorts.

"So you can't talk about it? Or d'you just not want to?" Eggsy turned and scooted closer until they were entangled in their usual sleeping arrangement. The boy had decided that he enjoyed being pampered a bit, especially with how letting Harry dress or dry him off kept him at the centre of the man's attention and sometimes encouraged more. He'd felt silly until he learned that it paid off, as it was now. Harry was being looser with answers about his past than Eggsy remembered. "I don't mind hearing about violence and stuff, y'know. I can handle it."

Harry let out a breath, almost a laugh. The warmth of it touched Eggsy's skin. "I believe you, cheeky thing," Harry teased. "It's a bit of both, really. Some of it is, you know, national security and all, but some of it I'd rather not talk about for reasons of my own." Harry smiled softly and stroked Eggsy's cheek with his index finger. "It isn't easy for me to relate. There are things that I've done that were not kind, to say the least." 

Eggsy was silent for a moment. Given his findings earlier that evening, his curiosity was overwhelming. He wanted to know and, at the same time, he didn't. He wanted to know everything about Harry but, as the gun proved, sometimes he was better off not knowing, at least in some sense. He'd worried and thought up fantastical and horrifying possibilities all night, and though he now felt better, Eggsy still had a bit of discomfort at knowing Harry had hidden something from him. "Like... what kind of things?"

Harry frowned. "Things that I'd rather not go into, but you could easily imagine when you think of war, the constant in-fighting inside of governments, rebel factions, aid and the like to other countries. It's not an easy job." Harry wrapped his arms loosely around Eggsy's back, watching him carefully. Eggsy recognised that considering look upon Harry's face, the one that could take his thoughts apart if Harry just stared long enough. Harry's thumb moved over the small of his back, just below the hem of his shirt. "We should get some sleep." 

"Yeah, I guess so." Eggsy didn't want to let the subject drop, but if Harry didn't want to talk about it right then, he wasn't likely to. Eggsy's persuasive powers had limits. If he was lucky, maybe Harry might feel like talking about it later, once the boy convinced him that he could handle it. Eggsy knew soldiers had to sometimes do terrible things, but he didn't think that would change his opinion of Harry. Maybe he even had stories about saving people.

"Harry? Can I come with you sometime? To work?"

That got an eyebrow raise in return. "Eggsy, I can assure you the tailor shop is far less interesting than a battlefield." Harry looked slightly amused and yet befuddled all the same, unable to imagine how Eggsy's interest in one would lead into an interest in the other. It appeared that no amount of staring into Eggsy's eyes provided Harry any clues either. He certainly couldn't have thought Eggsy wanted to see Landon again. Although they he had begun to get along in the end, Eggsy had made it quite clear how unnerving he thought the man was. 

"I know, I just... You gotta have more friends, but I've not met any of them. I don't even really know what you do. Isn't that sort of stuff important?" Eggsy frowned, and his eyes went distant in thought. "Or... is it 'cause you're worried they'll get suspicious if they meet me? Landon didn't. I don't gotta like any of them, it's just weird that there's a lot I don't know about you when you pretty much know everything about me. I guess you haven't met my friends yet either, but they'd think you're weird. More weird than usual for a parent."

Harry snorted. "Yes, thank you, I'm aware of how 'weird' they would think me." Harry gave it some thought. Eggsy could see the cogs working in his head when his eyes took on that far away look. "Hm.... I was thinking of making you up a suit of your own someday soon. I suppose that wouldn't be entirely out of the question. I'll have to find a day for you to come in, probably a weekend as I'll never hear the end of it from the office at your school if I pull you out yet again." Slowly, Harry nodded. "Yes, I think we could make that work."

Eggsy's resulting smile warmed Harry. It was something to treasure every time the boy looked at him with such affection. "Awesome. I still don't know where we're gonna go that I need to be all dressed up, but... I guess, since you look so good in that stuff, I can wear some a bit too, just so we're equal and all. I'm gonna feel a bit silly though."

"You will look _splendid_." Harry's face split into a grin, mirroring Eggsy's smile and then some. "You'll be able to wear it to another play, or to dinner, perhaps... Or, if nothing else, we can always draw the curtains and you can wear it just for me." Harry's smile took on an edge and his hands on Eggsy's back splayed over the skin, pulling Eggsy an inch closer. Harry did look like he liked the thought of that idea more than any other reason to get Eggsy a suit, which was admittedly, very much like Harry to do. 

Eggsy laughed as he was pulled closer, and one eyebrow rose. "You gonna wear anything just for me? And... I thought we were goin' to sleep. I stayed up all night waitin' for you to get home, you know. I'm gonna be _really_ tired tomorrow. Maybe I should stay home all day."

"You're very good at that, aren't you? Getting me to let you have a day off? Do you know how distracting you are? I _was_ going to go to sleep and here now you've got me thinking about you in pinstripes and tie." Harry flicked Eggsy's nose with a finger before he pulled it away lest Eggsy get the idea to bite. "But what kind of guardian would I be if I didn't take care of you?" Harry asked with that curl to his lips again and then bend over Eggsy. He took a moment to brush the lobe of Eggsy's ear with his mouth, letting him feel how Harry was about to speak before he finally did in a velvet purr. "It's time to go to sleep."

Eggsy groaned. "Now that's no fair." Like any kid, Eggsy never wanted to go to school, and he'd been hoping that he could coax Harry into letting him play hooky another day. He squirmed in the older man's grip, giving it one more attempt just to see if he could tease Harry enough to relent. "Tellin' me to go sleep isn't takin' care of me at all. That's just being bossy."

"You won't be saying that when you can't keep your eyes open in class tomorrow. And if you try to get any more out of me tonight, you'll have the added displeasure of being sore in class, too. Because there is no way I am facing the wrath of your office." Harry's tone turned soft and teasing. "You should see the terror they can strike into the hearts of parents. And I've faced down men with guns." 

Eggsy pouted, but when he saw that Harry wasn't going to back down, he relented and settled against him. The boy was disappointed, but he was already going to be exhausted in class. He didn't need to have trouble sitting on the hard chairs too, or having people asking why he was shifting around or walking strangely. "Ok. G'night, Harry. 'm sorry about the gun an' stuff."

Harry kissed his cheek. "Goodnight Eggsy. No need to worry on it." 

Eggsy knew he was already forgiven, although Harry might not forget. Harry was very unassuming most of the time, but Harry didn't forget much. But no matter what Eggsy had done so far, he'd always been forgiven. Harry's arms were just as welcoming, his body just as warm as it always was. He didn't look at Eggsy with distrust. And it didn't take Harry long to fall asleep either. He must have been tired, too.

* * *

Eggsy didn't forget either, or at least not entirely. The mystery of the gun, and Harry's unspoken military record, lingered in the boy's mind for a few days before it became less important. Harry didn't treat him any differently for all that Eggsy had been poking around through his belongings and asking questions. He was more affectionate, in fact. Harry didn't let Eggsy skip anymore school, and he began asking questions now and then to ensure that Eggsy was progressing in his studies and understanding the materials, but nothing strange happened following the discovery of the gun. Life slipped back into routine.

Routine, however, included absences. Harry began getting more calls from work or appointments at strange hours. Eggsy couldn't understand why Harry kept such a bizarre schedule or caved to the demands of his clients so often. The boy guessed that Harry must be taking regular or prospective customers out to social events to try to butter them up, as Harry was gone more often in the evenings and arrived back with an aura of cigarette smoke and alcohol clinging to his skin.

Harry admitted as much when Eggsy commented on the smell once. "Gentlemen like to have a good old time," Harry had said. He'd also said that he simply had to put up with it on occasion.

In truth, Kingsman had taken over Harry's schedule again. Which he had fully expected. But there were nights also in which he had to make room for Merlin's new side project, the one that he had reviewed through the footage Harry collected and ultimately decided on pursuing. Harry had set himself up as one Mr. White and introduced himself to Benjamin Tranter as an advertising partner in Tranter's sister company. Mr. White was a man who held considerable sway in how things ran between Ben's new job and the two companies, even though Mr. White was new himself and most often worked from home, which was what he input into said company’s employee records and he told the two people there who might have the chance of running into conversation with Ben. It wasn't very difficult for Harry to give Merlin's target one story and those key people the company Mr. White "worked" for another so long as he kept the position fairly hands-off. After all, Harry's only need for Mr. White was to invite Ben out for a few drinks on the weekend and hold considerable sway over the chance of him saying no to stay home with his family instead. 

Merlin wanted to see the Tranter family dissolve slowly. 

Patience was key. It took time for Harry to work his way into Mr. Tranter's confidence as more than just a work acquaintance. Time, as well, for Mr. Tranter to develop a taste for heavier drinking. The man didn't naturally tend towards addictive behaviour, and so Harry had to move slowly at building up his tolerance and turning the rare occasion into habit. Habits tended to be people's downfall; it made them relax their guard and their willpower, and the longer it was followed, the harder it was to break.

Harry had made himself a very difficult man to say no to. Over the next two months, he'd worked in three nights out a week and every now and then once on the weekend. Harry didn't like giving up his weekends now that Eggsy was there, so he made regular use of the weekday specials the bars offered. By mid-December Mr. White and Ben had moved onto the gambling clubs where, soon enough, Harry would encourage more spending. 

It wasn't often that Harry got to see the results of his work on Merlin's monitors. After all, he'd been there and he and Merlin didn't _need_ to communicate constantly, but when their paths crossed in the hall and Merlin would give him a polite nod after such a night, Harry would think back and _know_. 

Merlin covered for him more than ever. Harry still had regular missions, but most were short and close to home. Such a distribution couldn't happen too often and for too long, else some of the other Kingsman members would notice, but Harry had more time than expected to divide up between Merlin's project and his home life.

Eggsy wasn't happy about Harry being away for any length of time, but he was setting in to life with Harry more and more. The boy felt free to leave more of his belongings lying about, and the house began to have a sense that there were two inhabitants, not just one and a temporary guest. Eggsy was more hopeful about the holidays as well, lighting up when Harry decked his home out and took Eggsy to pick out a tree. The boy had never seen so many presents under a tree before, or looked at packages without an accompanying sense of guilt, knowing how dearly they must have cost in money that was meant for food and other essentials.

Michelle dampened the good cheer slightly, sad and resentful during her occasional visits, particularly so as Christmas drew near. Eggsy was always downcast when she left, but Harry had ways to make him forget about the guilt he felt that his mother was mourning his absence and spending Christmas alone.

It was only a week before the holiday, just before Eggsy was on vacation from school, that Harry announced it was time to visit the shop for a fitting. They'd need to make a couple visits, Harry explained. One to take the first set of measurements, one to make adjustments, and then the final fitting. With that in mind it wasn't hard to see how the whole affair could take more time than Eggsy had expected for each client, especially if their tastes were very specific. 

Harry hadn't brought Eggsy to the shop since his last visit in the fall. This time when they arrived at Savile Row, the street was covered with a light dusting of snow, freshly fallen, with all the shop windows casting their glow upon the walk and looking very warm inside. Harry had decided to make a late evening visit to miss the day crowds. Although he warned Eggsy the shop would still be busy, he had reserved one of the dressing rooms specifically for their use. 

Eggsy didn't have enough eyes to take in everything at once. His head turned constantly once they arrived at the correct street. The boy hadn't gotten used to being in a wealthier neighbourhood yet, and given that he'd only visited once before, Saville Row was still very novel. Especially so when decorated for Christmas. Every shop displayed their most impressive and tantalizing wares, competing with each other in the frenzy to lighten the pockets of browsing shoppers. 

A small bell rang when Harry opened the door for him at Kingsman, and Eggsy stepped inside.

Immediately he noticed the colour scheme had changed for the season. Gold now adorned much of the walls, accompanied by a splash of shining red baubles around the shop. The additions were rich, but they accentuated the hunter green of the walls perfectly. The front window now displayed wear for the winter, with one additional model than Eggsy remembered on his last visit. The shop's festivity was not subtle, but it was nevertheless elegant. 

All the while Harry watched Eggsy look about with pride as customers milled about between them, being helped by two younger assistants who'd been added on for the season. 

"Why don't you have a wander and see if you like anything in particular," Harry suggested. "I have a few ideas of my own, but I'd like to see what you think."

Eggsy didn't know where to begin. He didn't know anything about fashion. He couldn't have said why the models in the front of the store looked so good when he would never have figured out to place those combinations of colour and pattern together. Fabric swatch books were stacked on the tables, separated by colour and pattern and weave and cloth type. Eggsy glanced over them, flipped through a couple, and felt nothing but confusion.

Everything looked very fine, as far as Eggsy could tell about such things. Quality, and thus expensive. He was almost afraid to touch things. Different types of lapels and cuffs and collars met his eye every which way he turned. The boy nearly jumped when Harry placed a hand on his shoulder; he hadn't noticed Harry walking up behind him.

"Don't think about it. Don't worry how expensive it is or if it's the right kind of suit for the occasion." Eggsy could tell Harry was smiling and when he looked up, sure enough, Harry was. "I'll add your thoughts into my own and we'll make something appropriate from there. For instance..." Harry led Eggsy around a pair of customers to a line of jackets inside a display case. "I still think you look dashing in this navy blue colour. Brings out your skin tone and the richness in your hair." 

"Isn't it kinda plain, though? Just solid." Harry often had things with subtle patterns worked into it, and Eggsy had grown fond of such things by association. His own clothing often had patterns as well, although they were a very different type. What worked on t-shirts and hoodies wouldn't transfer well to more formal clothing. "I don't want to be _boring_."

Harry chuckled. "Ah. Then how about something with a bit of embellishment, something like these over here?" Harry moved on to a line of pinstriped suits, some very subtle, some with bolder lines, spaced wider apart. Harry did have to admit, bold styles would fit Eggsy. "And consider the tie as well. A splash of colour, red or silver to accentuate the striping, perhaps." 

Eggsy caught a glimpse of the older man he'd seen the last time he'd visited the shop. Dagonet, Harry had called him. He'd caught sight of them and gave a nod and a warm smile to Eggsy before greeting a woman at the counter. 

"Yeah, red. I like red." The colour was bold and reminded him of sports. Something more exciting would do better at making Eggsy not feel embarrassed when wearing such things. Formal clothing looked good on Harry, but boring on the businesspeople Eggsy had seen, and the boy still felt that he might look cartoonish in such things. "Harry? How come so many people like wearing the same thing? Like, everything is black or blue or grey or brown, and it all kinda looks like the same thing, just with different ties."

"Traditional influence, I suspect," Harry replied smoothly as he opened a drawer with several ties to choose from, all in shades of red. "The desire to rise to the top of a well established construct of style. To feel like one is winning at the same time whilst not relinquishing one's sense of comfort and security that comes with tradition." Harry selected one of the brightest ties and handed it to Eggsy. "It's a fairly conservative mindset, I'll grant you. So perhaps you would in fact do best with something a little more daring."

When they'd stepped into the shop, Eggsy had been keenly aware of the other customers packed in the small space. Now, once Harry began talking him through the process, holding up material against him and complimenting Eggsy on how he was going to look, the boy started to relax and forget that anyone else was there. He had no one to impress but Harry, and Harry was going to like him regardless of how things turned out. Harry would make _sure_ things turned out well, in fact. He had all the expertise of his profession.

Finally, Harry brought him over to one of the assistants for access to the dressing room he'd reserved. Strangely, it took her a second to recognise him, but once she did she startled, apologized to him by name, and gave him the keys. Harry laughed it off. Seasonal hires, after all, he said as he led Eggsy into fitting room one. Harry seemed to think nothing of it, especially as he closed the door behind him and turned with a smile a little too wide to be purely professional. 

The room had the same hunter green as the rest of the shop, with photographs upon the walls of lodges and open scenery. Along one side of the room was a great mirror in three large panels, floor to ceiling, that caught Eggsy from every angle as he stood before it. 

Caught Harry, too, as he walked up behind Eggsy. The boy was struck by just how different they looked, and how they also seemed to fit together - young and old, short and tall, street clothes and gentleman's attire. Harry set a few of the selected items and fabric books on a table that looked like an antique, all rich, carved dark wood. The table had drawers built in, and Harry opened one and drew out a little notebook and a measuring tape.

"Now....." Harry unrolled the tape, "stand straight, hold still, and do remember I'm a professional." With a quirk of his brow and a lift to his mouth, Harry sank to his knees before Eggsy, plush rug saving the material of his suit from the floorboards. Harry took Eggsy's coat and then lifted the tape to start with Eggsy's neck, looping it around his skin and marking a note in the book in quick movements. He moved on to Eggsy's chest next, then the slope of his shoulders and the length and width of his arms, each time noting down the measurements as he did so. 

Eggsy couldn't help but blush. Harry wasn't doing anything that a tailor wouldn't do, but Eggsy had seen Harry kneel with different intentions far too many times to associate it with platonic touch. Harry was right there, and Eggsy was tempted to lean forward and kiss him. They were in a locked fitting room, after all, with nobody around to see it happen.

It didn't help when Harry leaned in so close or when his eyes darted up to catch knowingly on Eggsy's own before they fell back down to the measuring tape in his hands. Harry was certainly practised at this, or maybe it was just that he was so comfortable with Eggsy. It didn't feel removed like Eggsy thought a fitting probably should. It felt...intimate. Especially when Harry bent farther to measure his waist and hips, the width of his leg, and finally, the length from his shoe all the way up to the inside of his trousers. The inseam, Eggsy knew that much from telly. But Harry let his hands glide along the length of Eggsy's leg as he did it. Eggsy received the same amount of attention to the measurement of his crotch. 

Eggsy remembered Harry's confessed fantasies, and the suggestion of having him atop his work desk when no one was around, and felt a stir of lust. The boy's gaze flicked back towards the door, still closed tight and secure. His heart started beating faster.

Eggsy didn't give himself time to think. He'd done the same when he'd run risks before, letting himself sink into the adrenaline rush when boosting from a shop or slipping away from school to hang out with the older boys for an afternoon. Harry was scribbling in the notebook when Eggsy wrapped arms around his neck, ducked his head, and kissed him.

There was only slight resistance in Harry's posture, and only for a second. It was surprise. Harry smiled into the kiss and relaxed. Eggsy felt Harry's free arm wrap around his waist and pull him closer. Harry didn't let him break the kiss for long. 

Eggsy had been told once by some older boys that they never kept security cameras in fitting rooms for the customers' privacy. It was about the only place in a shop he could be certain he wouldn't be watched. Very useful for five finger discounts. Useful, it turned out, for this as well. 

"Making a bold statement against tradition, are we?" Harry murmured against Eggsy's mouth. The sounds of the doorbell and the quiet hum of the customers outside never quite faded completely, making it impossible to forget what was just beyond that door. 

Eggsy hummed in the affirmative. "I didn't start it. You were the one what suggested it in the first place, remember?" Eggsy's pulse was racing. They should have been perfectly safe, really, but it _felt_ dangerous with so many people right on the other side of the door. Dangerous, too, considering how Harry had warned Eggsy about how badly others would take their relationship. Somehow the danger made Eggsy want to indulge _more_. "'sides, I don't hear you complaining."

"Definitely not complaining," Harry whispered, setting down the notepad. His hands lifted to the sides of Eggsy's face and Eggsy saw now just how wide Harry's pupils had blown. In such a short time, too. Harry drew him in for another kiss. "If you want this, we'll have to be quick," Harry warned in a whisper. His hands slid down Eggsy's sides, dipping into the curve of his ribs until his thumbs caught on the waist of Eggsy's trousers, just under his shirt. Harry hesitated there.

This was up to Eggsy. 

Although it didn't seem like Harry had any doubts as to whether or not they could get away with it, as Harry was right there, ready to risk it after all. If anyone would know how thick these walls were and how likely they were to be interrupted, it should be Harry.

Eggsy was just going to have to trust him. The boy shot one more worried glance at the door, then nodded. "Y-yeah. We'll be quick, then." Harry started tugging as soon as the whisper dropped from Eggsy's lips, and the older man had little trouble pulling both trousers and pants down his narrow hips. Eggsy felt cool air wash over him and, simultaneously, a prickle of excitement from the danger. Harry must have felt that they were safe, but Eggsy felt like they might get caught at any moment.

A grin bloomed across Harry's face before he bent down and licked a stripe across Eggsy's little cock, which immediately began to harden under the attention. Not even Eggsy's apprehension could stop it now that his body was so used to the feeling, knowing so well what it was about to receive. Harry licked again before he closed his mouth over it and sucked. He had to be aware of how Eggsy's breathing turned shallow. Harry's hands ran up his sides, feeling the expansion of his ribcage. 

After a moment more, Harry pulled away to reach for his coat and began rifling through the inner pockets, leaving Eggsy bewildered until Harry brought out one of his bottles. "One of life's lessons, Eggsy. Always best be prepared."

Eggsy gawked; he couldn't help it. After all the warnings Harry had given him about how badly their relationship would be received, he hadn't expected Harry to agree to this madness at all. Not only had Harry taken the dare, he'd already been prepared for it. Which begged the question, really about how often the older man had been carrying supplies with him, waiting for just the opportune moment when they'd be of use. "But... won't we not have enough time? I-... _Harry_ ," Eggsy hissed. The boy found it difficult to voice much of a protest when Harry was putting his mouth to good use as a distraction.

"Like I said, we'll have to be quick," Harry took the time to whisper in between licks. He uncapped the bottle in one hand and then pulled off to turn Eggsy around, meeting his disbelieving gaze with a smile that would have looked more at home on one of Eggsy's mates who was just about to get away with a particularly lucrative lift. 

Once Eggsy was turned, however, he was met with himself in the mirror, the whole scene before him. He saw Harry move in close behind him, saw Harry's well oiled fingers disappear behind his back and then he _felt_ them, sliding down between his buttocks. Harry's gaze met Eggsy's through the mirror as he did it, and that self satisfied smile never left his face. 

To say that Eggsy was shocked was to put it lightly. Harry had never tried anything like this in the safety of their home together. Faced with the sight of himself and Harry, Eggsy didn't know whether to be embarrassed or excited. Harry wasn't making fun of him or trying to embarrass him, but Eggsy hadn't put much thought into what he might look like, except in making certain that Harry found him attractive.

Experiencing sex, and watching it happen to himself in vivid detail, were two very different things. The boy's gaze locked on what he could see of Harry's hand. Eggsy's palm covered his mouth to stifle any stray sounds.

Just in time, too. 

Eggsy felt Harry's finger find its mark and begin circling there, coating the ring of muscle with lube. Gently, Harry pressed a hand to Eggsy's back and encouraged him to bend forward for a better angle. The only support that left him was the mirror itself. Eggsy's free hand splayed against it before he realised it would leave fingerprints, but the weight of Harry's hand on him kept him down before he could pull away. 

"We'll clean up after," Harry reassured him. "For now...just...relax." With that, the first finger slipped inside. 

Easier said than done. Eggsy could close his eyes if he needed to, but he couldn't quite make himself do it. Lack of visuals would hardly have made things much easier - without the mirror to concentrate on, the sounds on the other side of the door seemed louder. So much danger, with just a layer of wood and insulation separating the staff and customers from them.

Eggsy looked up and had to bite back a moan at the expression he saw writ across Harry's face. He'd seen it before, but his lover looked _hungry_. Devilish, even, so tempted by want that dirty tricks were no object of impediment. Harry's eyes had gone dark with want, and Eggsy's body was now accustomed enough to this sort of activity that Harry was able to quickly move on to a second finger without much trouble.

Harry's strokes were focused, working to open him up just as much as they brushed against his sweet spot. Harry didn't dare let Eggsy forget about the pleasure. It was surely a calculated approach because Eggsy already couldn't ignore their surroundings, and he knew Harry wanted him to feel good. Harry always wanted him to feel good. 

The cap snapped again and Harry shifted, hands working together before Eggsy felt the addition of more lube. The slide was easier already. Harry was up on one knee now, and with a polished shoe, he nudged Eggsy's stance just an inch wider before Eggsy felt the third finger. Harry's grin curved when Eggsy let out a quiet gasp through his hand. 

It felt wrong. It had to be. Eggsy was acutely aware of the fact that all of the strangers he'd walked past in the shop were only several feet away. The boy would never have wanted any of them to see any of this, and they wouldn't but the _idea_ that they might...

One of Harry's fingers crooked inside of him, and Eggsy's eyes refocused on the mirror. He could imagine Harry's smile only growing wider if they got caught, pleased at how much they were shocking their audience. Showing off, perhaps, because in fantasy and in real life, Harry seemed untouchable. If the strangers found their relationship objectionable and horrifying, they'd still be able to do nothing but watch, and Harry would take great pleasure in holding that fact over their heads, and the fact that Eggsy was enjoying every second.

Something of the boy's thoughts must have shown on his face. Harry's laugh was quiet, but audible.  
He bent down over Eggsy's back and nipped at the back of his neck. Eggsy _watched_ him do it. Then Harry pulled his fingers free. "You're going to need both hands," Harry whispered, wiping away some of the lube on a handkerchief before he bent to pluck something off the nearby table. Something that flashed red before he brought it up before him and Eggsy saw what it was. The tie. 

With care, Harry lifted Eggsy's hand from his mouth and placed it against the frame of the mirror before he met Eggsy's gaze again. "Now...I'm going to need you to do something for me." The length of silken fabric unfolded in Harry's hands. "If you want me to stop, tap the mirror twice with your palm." Harry let the tie loop in front of Eggsy, making clear his intention. "If you need to, you can pull it off, but don't before you've caught your breath or you'll be too loud. Understand?"

Wide-eyed, Eggsy met Harry's gaze in the mirror and nodded. The boy couldn't quite believe that they were doing this, but the silk Harry tied across his mouth to gag him was very, very real. So had been the curl of the fingers inside of him. Adrenaline rushed through Eggsy at the thought that they might get caught, and something heavier. Not shame, or not precisely, but the knowledge that they shouldn't be doing this only made Eggsy want to do it all the more.

Harry leaned over him to kiss his cheek when the last of the knot was tied. Eggsy had to breathe through his nose now, there was no sneaking in little breaths between his fingertips anymore. 

Harry glanced up in the mirror to linger over Eggsy's face before he pulled back, leaving close mouthed kisses down his spine along the way. Eggsy noticed Harry's hands move and heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper before he saw Harry pull his cock out with one hand, stroking over the shaft. He laid it over the top of Eggsy's arse, rigid already, head just peeking out between Eggsy’s cheeks. When Harry gripped Eggsy's hips and rocked slowly forward, dragging it along the cleft of Eggsy's arse, Eggsy saw the man’s mouth fall open but no sound escaped. 

Eggsy had nothing to grab. The trio of mirrors was a smooth, flat surface, showing the two of them at multiple angles while permitting no handholds. His nails scrabbled at the glass before pressing hard against the mirror in front of him. 

All the while, Eggsy's gaze stayed locked on their reflections. He'd seen Harry rapt and wanton before, but not like this, able to see himself and watch what was happening thrice over.

Harry's long fingers splayed over the curve of one of his cheeks, feeling its roundness as Harry rocked. Harry’s lips curled back over his teeth and then his tongue darted out to wet them. He looked like he was about to let loose a groan at any minute, yet it never came. With those long fingers, Harry reached for the bottle of lube again and, with a surprising amount of care, added more to Eggsy's tender entrance before sliding the rest over his erection. 

Harry set the bottle down and met Eggsy's eyes in the mirror. It didn't take more than a glance down for Harry to position himself, and then he was looking up again, watching Eggsy watch him press his hips forward and slowly sink into the boy’s body. 

Eggsy was used to this by now, but it still hurt. Not the throbbing sort of pain of getting hit, or the sharpness of a burn or cut, but a discomfort as his body stretched and nerves fired in a panic. His breaths came fast and quick through his nose as he willed himself to relax. Loosening up was more difficult like this; they were rushed, Eggsy was tensed in order to remain standing, and his own excitement wasn't helping. With either side he glanced to, he could watch Harry slide into him as he felt it happen.

Finally, Harry stopped to run his hands over Eggsy's sides, to lean down and kiss his shoulder, and Eggsy could just barely see where they were joined as Harry did it. The mirrors at their sides left nothing to the imagination. 

Harry's hand, with fingers still slick, drew down Eggsy's stomach, around his hip, and captured his own erection for Harry to stroke. He did it before he moved his hips again, slowly rocking back and then forward. They may not have had much time, but Harry didn't try to rush this part. 

This, Eggsy had learned to love. The discomfort and the slow care were worth it just for this--to see Harry enraptured with him and feel it at the same time, the older man sinking into him and joining them together. Eggsy felt cared for in a way he didn't remember having anywhere else, because even in this, Harry never forgot his needs or placed them below his own.

Harry was wise to have put a gag in place though. Eggsy wasn't certain he would have remained quiet enough to avoid detection otherwise.

Harry's breathing silent either, but he was better at keeping it regulated. Eggsy could feel it against his back as much as he heard each quick intake of breath. Harry bent a little farther, lowering himself over Eggsy, stabilizing with his free hand on the mirror next to Eggsy's smaller ones. 

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Harry whispered so softly, straight into his ear. "Seeing you like this.... Being inside you like this.... I can't describe it. There's nothing I've wanted more." Harry's hips drove a little harder that time. And again. And again as he watched Eggsy's face, not through the mirror but right beside his temple. 

Eggsy had never thought that talk was anything special before Harry. If the boy had tried to tell himself, before he'd gotten involved with Harry, that hearing someone talk like that would make him feel more or want more, Eggsy would have laughed and dismissed the idea. He would have thought it to be a practical joke, or maybe a rumour. School was full of kids trying to prank one another with tall tales. Harry defied the absurdity of the idea--his voice took on a deeper, rougher timbre when he was turned on, and Harry didn't shy away from saying what he was thinking. Eggsy had heard enough that he was starting to feel conditioned, just a bit. Harry had to know it, too, as just a bit of whispered filth made the boy clench around him and his hands press even harder against the mirror.

Eggsy was whimpering against the tie. Harry kissed it. Just at the corner of his mouth. Eggsy could feel it through the fabric. 

When the strokes of Harry's hand quickened, so did the pace of his hips. Eggsy was in no danger of being pressed up against the mirror yet, but it was hard to keep still. The hand Harry held under him made a difference as Eggsy could put some of his weight on Harry's forearm to hold himself steady. When Harry's teeth scraped against the back of his neck was when Harry really picked up the pace, words finally failing him. 

Eggsy's arm strength gave out little by little. The more enthusiastic and lost in each other they became, the more Harry pressed closer, fitting their bodies together like two pieces of a puzzle. Eggsy's arms bent until his forearms joined his palms against the surface of the glass and his breath began to mist the reflection in front of him. Harry curled his free arm around the boy just as Eggsy thought his legs were going to give way, taking part of his weight and steadying him. 

Like that, Harry could pull Eggsy back onto his cock without any awkward resistance. Eggsy was so pliant in his arms Harry could simply lift him and move him into whatever position he needed.

Their soft breaths filtered through the room, just like the sounds outside--footsteps and murmured voices--filtered in. 

"Ignore them, Eggsy," Harry whispered when he found his voice again. The low din of the shop melted away under Harry's words. "You're with me now. Right. Here. They don't exist."

But they did. Eggsy knew that they were there, separated only by a few yards and a barrier of walls and a door. Dangerous strangers, yet completely impotent. Harry was keeping them away, as if by magic. The same exact magic that permeated everything the man did, making him show up at the right time with the right solution in hand, or talking lawyers and judges into making the decision he'd promised to deliver. Such power, and yet he wanted Eggsy.

Harry's mouth closed over the juncture of his neck and shoulder, just above the collar of his shirt. Harry did it a little rougher than he'd probably meant to because he licked softly against the skin afterwards, but Eggsy could feel how Harry was tensing behind him and he knew what that meant. Harry's motions always got a little jerkier, a little more frenzied, when he was getting close.

Pressed so near to the mirror, Eggsy couldn't see how they looked joined together anymore. What he could see was his own expression, partially obscured by misted glass, and Harry's face right behind him, hungry and slightly glazed as he drew closer to the end. Harry was moving quicker now, and Eggsy wanted to cry out but he couldn't - not with the gag, or the danger of someone outside the dressing room hearing them. The boy had to bite down on the silk, but that didn't truly distract from the sensation of Harry sliding between his legs or the fingers wrapped around his cock.

Harry could drink him in like this, watching Eggsy's face in the mirror and his body from both angles. His eyes never left Eggsy, even when his mouth opened in a silent gasp and his hips gave a series of stuttering thrusts. Eggsy felt the way Harry jerked against him and knew the moment he came. Harry didn't make a sound, but the look on his face was wrecked. He froze over Eggsy like that, letting it wash through him. 

Watching Harry climax was intense. They rarely came together, and Eggsy was still too young yet for him to climax in the same way, producing the same sort of sticky fluid, but the boy always felt _something_ when he felt and saw Harry like this. Affection and lust alike, mixed until he couldn't tell the difference. Harry twitched inside him and Eggsy stifled a moan, knowing that they couldn't afford any suspicious noises. Harry kept him pinned against the mirror while he came down, and Eggsy wished just then that they were back home and able to bask in the afterglow and do whatever they wanted.

As Harry began to regain himself, his hand started working again. The rhythm was slow only for a few moments, before he bent to press his lips to Eggsy's shoulder and the pace of his fingers picked up. Harry didn't pull out. He did that sometimes, after he'd just come but Eggsy hadn't yet, Harry liked to remain seated inside him, feeling the rocking of Eggsy's hips and the writhing of his body. Even if the extra stimulation was intense after orgasm, Harry didn't move. He scraped his teeth lightly over Eggsy's neck, nudging the collar of his shirt down to do so while he worked. 

"I've dreamed of seeing you like this, here," Harry confessed. 

Eggsy hadn't. He'd thought about Harry's whispered fantasies, mentioned weeks and weeks ago, but he hadn't dreamed of them. He would in the future, though. The sight of himself in the mirror, held secure while Harry thrust into him, was going to haunt his conscious and subconscious mind well into the future in the best of ways. Eggsy shut his eyes tight and sank into the sensations, letting Harry's voice wash over him and settle into his bones while his own attention was drawn to the stroking that was getting ever faster.

The sounds outside had faded. The world had come down to just the two of them in that room. Just the mirror before Eggsy and Harry behind him. Harry had this way of wrapping him up in his embrace like it was perfectly natural. Like Eggsy belonged there in their most intimate moments. One would never have thought it to look at Harry in his impeccable suits, every crease as sharp as it could be. Harry looked untouchable, but he had no qualms over touching Eggsy. Over and over he'd made that clear. Harry would wrap himself around Eggsy every day, all day, if he could. 

Eggsy writhed and, finally, let himself go. The boy couldn't keep himself from crying out, but between the tie gag and the locked door, it was quiet enough that no one outside the room should have noticed. Eggsy tensed in Harry's embrace for a few long seconds and went limp, and Harry held him through all of it. The boy's awareness swam, but Harry was a constant. Warm hands kept him from sinking to the ground or falling over.

His back was pulled up to Harry's chest. With both clothed, it was an odd sensation. A little sweaty, but comforting still. Harry's fingers came up to slip the tie free from Eggsy's mouth and let him breathe uninhibited while Harry kissed his temple and, slowly, pulled out. There was a wet squelch, but Harry found another cloth somewhere and wiped them clean without a fuss. 

Eggsy heard the zip of Harry's trousers and then his own clothes were being pulled back up his hips, all without ever being released from Harry's embrace. 

As usual, the ache came on slowly, counterbalanced by a haze of endorphins and relaxation. Eggsy was content to let Harry hold him. A wave of satisfaction rolled over the boy: he'd done it. They'd defied propriety and the boundaries of safety to have each other right next to the people who would have crucified Harry had they been caught. Eggsy let out a small laugh and, when Harry made a questioning sound, turned in the man’s arms and pressed his face against Harry's shirt, unable to keep a smile off of his face.

Though Harry had no idea what Eggsy was so amused about, Eggsy felt Harry's hands run through his hair as he was embraced again. "Liked that, did you?" 

They'd have to leave soon. Already they'd probably taken much more time than was usual for Harry to spend with a client. Some of that could be explained away by the curiosity of Harry's young ward, but not for much longer. Fortunately, their clothes hadn’t been mauled by the activity. Nothing apart from a few rumples in Harry's shirt. Except for the bright red tie Harry held up in his hand to inspect with a laugh of his own. There was a splotch of saliva around its middle and the clear indentation of teeth. "This'll just have to come home with us, I'm afraid."

"Good, I kinda wanted to keep it now." The tie would be perfect among the new box of treasures Eggsy had started to put together, full of keepsakes from Harry's house. The boy had even snuck a photo or two out of Harry's albums so that he'd have a few of when Harry was younger to look at whenever he wanted, and now he had a new memory to add. "That was fun. Doin' things right under everyone's nose, I mean. Not that it isn't always fun, but it felt kinda... like taggin' a wall and runnin' before you get caught and given an ASBO, you know?"

"I'm certain I have _no idea_ what you're talking about." But Harry's mouth curved into a smile anyway. "Now, fetch the tape and my notebook, wherever they've run off to. I'll get the mirror." 

Harry let Eggsy out of his embrace and made sure he was steady on his feet before going to find something to clean up and wipe down the glass with. One look at it was enough to tell _exactly_ what had gone on there, with their handprints and the smudge from Eggsy's cheek when he'd pressed it there. But Harry came back with a towel and got to work. 

Eggsy tracked down the fallen notebook and measuring tape without trouble. He watched Harry fondly while the older man bent and polished the smudge marks off the mirror. It was unfortunate that he couldn't keep those, too, but the tie would have to do. Eggsy had had fun defying societal norms, but not so much that he'd entirely forgotten Harry's warning about the consequences being caught would hold.

All the more a pity. Eggsy imagined that it would be a great deal of fun to get away with a similar stunt at school, or at least to have the ability to talk about his boyfriend and show him off.

When Harry was finished, he straightened and inspected the mirror. His eyes caught Eggsy in it, watching him from behind, and a small smirk grew on Harry's mouth as he turned on his heel. "Well then," he took two long legged steps forward and collected his things from Eggsy's hands before he sneaked a kiss against Eggsy's cheek, "what do you say we have another turn about the shop and be on our way?"

"Yeah, ok," Eggsy agreed. He'd seen as much of the shop as he'd wanted to, but Harry was likely to have suggested it for a reason. They hadn't been caught, but it was better to make sure no one thought they were behaving suspiciously. "Can we stop by the candy store on the way back? Please? I won't eat it all in a day like last time."

"How you test me, Eggsy...." Harry wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders as they strolled to the door, but Eggsy heard the cheer in his voice loud and clear. 

Stepping back into the milieu of the shop was surreal. The presence of other people was nearly a shock after the illusion of solitude Harry had created inside that dressing room. They milled slowly around the tables talking fabric and cut while others simply lounged upon leather chairs while they chatted to pass the time. All under the red and gold decorations and the air of the season permeating the room. 

Harry kept his hand on Eggsy's shoulder as he took him around again, this time towards the back. Harry never broke that line of contact, even when he greeted two of his colleagues, a tall man in a chestnut suit who had a voice that could only be described as _indulgent_ , and his thin and somewhat stoic companion, equally tall, but who somehow seemed to take up less of the room. They both greeted Eggsy warmly, although Eggsy was sure they couldn't have had any idea who he was. 

Harry later informed him, as they left the shop, that the two men were James and Percy, some of the associates Eggsy had been so keen on meeting.

Eggsy didn't admit as much, but he felt better as they walked back to the car. He'd begun to feel odd that Harry knew him so well and asked him so many questions about his life, while he barely knew anything about Harry at all, in the past or the present. Seeing the older man's workplace again, and a few of his coworkers, made Eggsy feel a little more connected.

It was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is now a soundtrack that goes with this fic. Listen or download here: [No Familiar Sunken Roads (90s soundtrack)](http://8tracks.com/the-piper-of-hameln/no-familiar-sunken-roads-90s-soundtrack)


	22. Chapter 22

Christmas morning Harry woke with Eggsy's small figure curled up in his arms, still fast asleep. 

A warm glow Harry hadn't felt in years....possibly not since he was a child himself, curled in his stomach. Anticipation. Anticipation for what Eggsy would see when he climbed down the stairs that morning. Anticipation of the look on Eggsy's face when he saw the tree, when he began unwrapping presents. The boy looked pleasantly content in slumber, red lips parted slightly, delicate lashes untroubled in sleep. Harry let a finger drift down Eggsy's cheek. He wanted to kiss him, wanted to wake him up and make him breakfast and show him all the wonderful things Harry had sneaked downstairs to place there during the night. 

So Harry did. With his fingers curling around the back of Eggsy's neck, Harry bent and pressed his lips to the boy's, feeling how soft and how pliant Eggsy was as Harry slowly drew him out of his slumber. 

Unlike other mornings, when Eggsy tended to waken slowly and with a contented sort of laziness, Harry only got a second of a relaxed kiss while the boy's eyes opened. Consciousness brought with it the memory of what day it was, and Eggsy snapped awake, suddenly wide-eyed and alert. A smile followed, and small arms wrapped around Harry's neck. 

"Mornin', Harry. Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas, Eggsy." Harry felt a smile spread across his face. He knew his eyes would be crinkling with it, that his hair was probably mussed even more than Eggsy's was, but the way Eggsy was looking at him with such adoration, the way his small body stiffened with excitement, this was what Harry had been waiting for. "Shall we go down and see what the elves have left for us?" 

" _Yes_!" Eggsy squirmed, and Harry had a difficult time not laughing at the hurry Eggsy was in to get out of bed. On any other morning, woken the same way, Harry would have had quite a time getting Eggsy to want to leave. Sex and romance were secondary concerns when there were presents on the line. "I know there's no elves though, Harry. If there was, all the kids'd get the same. It's just pretend, 'cause the kids with money always found more stuff than the rest of us."

"Maybe they're just very biased elves." Harry could see his words were having little effect. He laughed at Eggsy's eyeroll and let him squirm out of Harry's arms to sit up. "Okay, okay, just wait for me to get my slippers on." 

Harry watched Eggsy climb down the side of the bed with his rear in the air, navy blue pyjamas pulled tight before he went over the edge. It was quite a jump for the boy--Harry's bed was big, but Harry certainly appreciated watching him do it. Harry followed only when Eggsy turned with impatience written into every line of his body. 

"Come _on_ ," Eggsy drawled. Harry had paused to slip a robe on, and Eggsy darted forward to catch handfuls of the fabric and tug him towards the door. "C'mon, c'mon. We're already late, we shoulda been up _hours_ ago. You gotta play with everything you get on Christmas that day, it's a rule. There's so many boxes we might have trouble stickin' to it, since we slept in an' all."

Harry chuckled all the way down the stairs, Eggsy pulling on the tie of his robe with both hands, but when they reached the ground floor, the boy stopped. 

Streaming golden ribbons adorned the length of the hall, filtering the sunlight as it fell through the house. When Eggsy glanced up at Harry, Harry just raised his brows and nudged him forward. The ribbons, very much like those that had decorated the tailor shop, wove through the hall, leading them on a path to the living room, which had nearly doubled in the amount of presents Eggsy had seen there the night before. They spilled out from under the tree. All around the ribbons were strung from the ceiling and down the drapes. Tinsel laid across the mantle and wove through the brightly coloured paper. Eggsy even noticed a few small packages poking out of odd places like the couch or pushed between books on the shelf, like they were meant for him to seek out. 

Something strange happened. Eggsy froze as he took it all in - all the color and gaity, the generous bounty in every place Eggsy looked. All for him. Harry wouldn't have done all of this just for himself and the dog. Instead of running straight into the treasure hoard, Eggsy turned and wrapped his arms around Harry. The boy's heart was still racing in excitement and happiness, but a strange feeling had crept into his veins and made him dizzy. "It's... it's so much stuff."

"Well, I know you said it's a rule, but you don't _have_ to play with everything today," Harry said, setting his glasses atop his nose and pushing them up. "You will have to leave time for breakfast at some point. And lunch." It was as though Eggsy's meaning was lost on him, but for the secret curve at the very corner of Harry's mouth, the one that gave away just how warm he felt inside when Eggsy looked up at him like he'd hung the stars in the sky.

The boy's grip tightened. His eyes scrunched closed, and though Eggsy didn't say it aloud, Harry felt his declaration of love. It was broadcast from the lines of Eggsy's body and how he pressed close to Harry. 

Excitement won out over the shock. Eggsy's chin jerked up, and Harry caught a glimpse of a broad grin, and then the boy was off, dashing through the living room. Eggsy slid across the carpet and came to a rest next to a stack of presents on one side of the tree. He barely paid any attention to the wrapping paper, ripping into it with hardly a glance at the pattern or the matched ribbons and bows and decorations.

Harry followed and settled himself down on the couch to watch. Most parents would have brought out the video camera by now, but Harry had something better sitting atop his nose. He doubted he would forget this day, but the knowledge that he could keep Eggsy like this, crawling through the piles of boxes in his pyjamas, turning back to Harry in exclamation and with such a brilliant smile as he unwrapped action figures and comic books and a new game console. A pile of wrapping paper accumulated behind him until he was nearly buried in it and Harry had to begin scooping it out of the way. He teased Eggsy, placing the bows in his hair every time he unwrapped a new present. It was all Harry could do just to catch him as Eggsy moved through the pile. 

They paused only for Harry to make a cup of tea to sip as he made Eggsy guess what each one was before he opened it. 

Eggsy was manic, more excited even than the night that Harry had permitted him as much sugar as he wanted and the boy had buzzed straight on until finally crashing in the wee hours of the morning. Growing up with so little had made Eggsy more appreciative of everything he got. This Christmas, in all likelihood, he was receiving more presents than he'd gotten in previous years combined. Possibly even more than the combined birthdays as well.

Toy guns with foam darts joined stacks of comics and adventure books. A new CD player had a couple of plastic cases next to it, for artists Harry had learned that Eggsy liked, and a few quid to buy other discs the next time they were out. Toy spy gadgets and video games littered the floor, and Harry was already preparing himself to be tripping over the remote controlled car, or finding that Eggsy was chasing Mr. Pickle about the house with the robotic dinosaur.

True to tradition, Eggsy tried to play with as many as he could while Harry made breakfast and brought the plates to the living room, for once letting Eggsy eat at the coffee table with a new PlayStation controller in one hand and a piece of toast with jam in the other. Harry took great satisfaction in giving him uninvited suggestions on how not to crash his car, or letting him know when he was about to die. 

Eggsy sometimes crashed just out of spite, glancing over at Harry to see how he'd take it. Excited as he was, the boy was still careful not to dribble jam onto the carpet. Mr. Pickle stayed nearby just in case, hoping for a few spilled crumbs, or to sneak the rest of the toast off the plate on the coffeetable when no one was paying attention.

"Are you gonna play too, or are you just gonna sit there and watch me all day?" Eggsy finally asked. "I don't mind, but I'd've thought it'd be boring to just watch me play.""Is that a challenge?" Harry asked over his cup of tea. He was careful to keep his expression blank and curious, but Eggsy knew him to well for that now. The look on the boy's face said he didn't buy it for a minute--he knew Harry was just waiting for an in. Harry set down the tea. "Hand me one of those controllers and let me show you how it's done."

In no time they were racing side by side with the cops hot in pursuit, nudging each others' elbows to get ahead, breakfast forgotten in front of them. 

To Eggsy's pleasure and surprise, Harry was very good. The boy would never admit that Harry might be better, as that would be a blow to his pride - everyone knew that kids were supposed to be better than adults at these things - but Harry could hold his own and keep up. Occasionally he executed a sharp turn that left Eggsy impressed, but the boy didn't ask how he'd done it.

That would be tantamount to admitting defeat. Eggsy spent time trying to sneak a glance at Harry's hands without being noticed, instead, which ended in disaster as his split attention caused his own car to swerve and crash.

They spent a good hour playing like that before Harry paused the game. Both of them had just careened over the side of a cliff in a failed attempt to escape the cops. Eggsy was ready to go again, but Harry set his controller down on the table.

"There is...just one thing left," Harry began, catching Eggsy's eye and drawing his attention away from the game. "However, you'll have to get cleaned up and come upstairs for it."

"Upstairs, huh? I can guess what kind of surprise _that_ is," Eggsy giggled. Harry was flattered that Eggsy put aside the controller so quickly; luring a young boy away from a new video game was no mean feat. More treasured yet was the playful, warm look on Eggsy's face. He'd gone from such a shy and nervous youth to having an interest and opinions that Harry had little to do with. Harry had fanned the flames, of course, but Eggsy had begun to initiate things and make suggestions more often.

"Is this something new again? Or are you not gonna tell me?"

"Hmm, sort of yes, but I'm still not going to tell you until you've brushed your teeth and combed your hair." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder. "I'll meet you upstairs." 

He hadn't said anything about Eggsy getting out of his pyjamas, but he knew the instructions he had given Eggsy were bound to throw off the boy's first suspicion. Harry rose and stepped through the piles of wrapping paper, leaving it all to be cleaned up later, and made for his room. Eggsy watched him go, eyes squinted while he tried to puzzle out what Harry might be planning. Brushing his teeth made sense, as morning breath was horrible, but the boy couldn't figure out why he was supposed to comb his hair if it was just going to get messy again. Eventually he shrugged and followed Harry up the stairs, making a beeline for the loo instead of Harry's room.

A few minutes later he knocked on the bedroom door.

When Harry opened it, Eggsy found that he was fully dressed. Not just in casual wear, but regal head to toe in one of his darker suits. There was a light in his eyes as he ushered Eggsy inside. 

Eggsy was still looking at him quizzically when Harry brought him to the foot of the bed, just in front of one of the tall dressing mirrors. Harry turned to the standing dresser in the corner of the room where he took out one last package--a large box with a wide red ribbon tied elegantly over the top of it. He placed it atop the chest at the foot of the bed, just the perfect height for Eggsy to reach. 

"Now then. Let's see what the fruits of our labour have produced." Harry stepped back and left Eggsy to it.

Realization dawned as Eggsy opened the box to find a familiar pattern of cloth inside, nestled among tissue paper. The combing, the brushing, and Harry's appearance all made sense. Harry was dressed to see how well they'd match together with the new clothing. "Oh... we did another visit the other day, but I didn't think it'd be done so quick." Eggsy lifted each piece out of the box, setting them on the bed.

"For me they were willing to make the exception." Harry bent over Eggsy to place a kiss to his temple. "What do you say we get you out of those pyjamas and try this on?"

Eggsy didn't have to check in the mirror to know what kind of a look Harry had in his eye. It was same one he got every time he talked about dressing Eggsy up, one very similar to the look he got while _undressing_ Eggsy as well. The difference was subtle.

"Sure." Eggsy's response wasn't meant to be flippant. The boy felt that, really, this was a present for Harry more than it was for him. He still felt silly, like he looked the obvious imposter when wearing such things. Harry liked it, though, and with that in mind, Eggsy shucked off his pyjamas and let Harry enjoy his present. He struggled to get the shirt buttons done up and managed to get halfway done before realizing that they weren't aligned right. "I'm not complainin', because you look great in this stuff, but I dunno how you wear this stuff every day."

Harry chuckled, helping Eggsy with the buttons. "It suits my needs. You certainly won't have to wear it every day, but at some point in your life you may find that a good suit and a certain air may take you exactly where you want to go. Think of it as...something you can slip into when you'd like and set aside when you're done." Once Eggsy's buttons were done up to the collar, his back straightened, feeling out the shirt, and Harry let himself appreciate the moment before he lifted the tie out of the box. Bold red, with a lustre that caught the eye just like the one Eggsy had first picked out at the shop. "Have I ever told you my favourite line of Shakespeare?" Harry asked as he looped the tie around Eggsy's collar. "Not one of the fancy ones, not the sonnets or Romeo and Juliet. There was a very simple line in one of the plays about Prince Henry.... The Prince tells his companions 'I am so good a proficient in one quarter of an hour that I can drink with any tinker in his own language during my life.' You see, in that play the prince liked to sneak out and converse with his people as an equal. To learn any man's language he came across, no matter whose it was...I found that quite admirable." 

Eggsy blinked, trying to keep up. Harry often phrased things in more simple, if still posh, ways, so Eggsy normally didn't have any issues understanding what he meant. Shakespeare was a little beyond him. "What's a proficient? Or a tinker? I... but this is clothes, not language. We talk different, but we still get each other. Mostly. I don't think dressin' fancy is gonna make anyone think I'm not a, uh..."

Eggsy hadn't forgotten the words he'd heard before, in angry tones or barks of laughter. Trying to repeat them, however, made them stick in his throat. "People're still gonna call me a... chav, y'know. Whenever I had something nicer, they figured it was fake or I boosted it."

Harry swept his hands down the boy's shoulders and met his gaze. "You don't have to feel like an imposter, Eggsy. People will always have their prejudices, but you decide who you can be when you want to. Speaking someone else's language comes with all sorts of non-verbal cues. But that doesn't mean you have to forget where you came from either." Harry let his face warm, let Eggsy see his confidence, before he turned to lift the jacket out of the box and help Eggsy's arms through the sleeves. 

"You like me even though we don't speak the same language, though?" Eggsy's voice was quiet. He was finally putting to words the insecurities Harry knew he carried about his background and how judged he felt. Harry had never shown negativity towards Eggsy in that way, but the boy had grown up with overt and covert messages about his inferiority. "I mean, we both speak English, but the way you mean it. I don't even know nothin' about Shakespeare."

Harry's smile widened. "Forget Shakespeare. We do in the ways that count." He sat down on the bed and pulled Eggsy to him, polished shoes sliding on the soft carpet, unused to the slippery tread. "I like you very much, whether you ever do appreciate any of this posh nonsense or not." Harry let his fingers curl in the short hairs behind Eggsy's ear and turned the boy to face their image in the mirror.

They looked good together. Harry was still much taller, seated on the bed, but with Eggsy standing between his knees in as equally sharp a suit, they looked like they fit.

Eggsy leaned in against Harry and turned his head. He still felt silly, like he was wearing a costume and the clothing fit all wrong. Eggsy was so used to jeans and loose shirts that tailored clothing felt very strange. Like this, however, he matched Harry. They really looked like father and son, if not matched boyfriends. Eggsy would have preferred the latter, but he knew why all the pretending was necessary.

Eggsy glanced up, meeting Harry's gaze in the mirror. It was so heated that Eggsy had to laugh. All the tension and heaviness in the air disappeared. "I think this is a present for you, instead of me."

The statement caught Harry off guard. He broke their gaze in the mirror to look down at Eggsy, but saw no reproach in the boy's face. Harry laughed and even allowed himself to feel the colour rise to his cheeks. "Maybe it is. But thank you for indulging me." Harry pressed a kiss to Eggsy's mouth, chaste and sweet, but lingering, wanting to know that Eggsy felt it. 

The boy was right. This was for Harry. Even if it had the potential to benefit Eggsy as well. 

"It's not exactly _not_ a present for me too. 'Cause you like it." When Harry liked something, Eggsy knew he got more attention or was able to get away with things he otherwise wouldn't have. Harry had given him so _much_ , as well, that Eggsy felt like it was only fair. He could never afford to buy Harry the kind of presents the older man might like, so he had to think of other sorts of gifts. "You get fun when you like how I look, so I don't mind."

Harry snorted. "Do I now?" He wrapped his arms around Eggsy's waist and took another look at them in the mirror. "Hard to resist...." He turned Eggsy once again and took the boy's tie in his hand, running his fingers down the soft material before he began undoing the knot. "I think getting you out of it is going to be just as interesting." The red silk slipped from Eggsy's collar just before Harry began pressing kisses to the boy's cheek and neck once Harry's nimble fingers started undoing the buttons of his jacket and shirt again. 

The last present to be unwrapped for the day was Eggsy, as he'd predicted. Harry was very careful, both with the exquisite and expensive paper he'd chosen for his gift, and with the treasure inside of it. They had all of Christmas Day to themselves and so, unlike their usual evenings when they had to be mindful of Eggsy's school schedule and homework, Harry took his time and drew their pleasures out as long as he could.

By the time they cleaned up and went back downstairs, Harry had to bustle off to the kitchen to make a more substantial meal for the both of them, and Eggsy found, to his dismay, that climaxing made more of a difference than he'd have thought in his reaction times with a game controller.

His only consolation was that Harry fared no better, and so when they curled up on the couch together after lunch with steaming mugs of tea and controllers in hand, Eggsy happily won almost every game between them. 

They played long into the day before Eggsy decided to sort through the rest of his new things and Harry brought out a book. The house, as messy as it was after such a morning, became quite comfortable for the both of them. So much so that Harry found himself watching Eggsy out of the corner of his eye almost as much as he looked at the pages in his hand while the boy played with his new toys.

Eggsy didn't ask about his mum, and although Harry knew she must have crossed his mind at some point throughout the day, he could also tell that Eggsy was happy. Genuinely happy. There, with him. 

Eggsy tired himself out to the point that, later in the evening, he didn't complain about having to go to bed at a decent hour. Nor did Eggsy think it strange when Harry was early to rise, whispering apologies and letting the boy sleep in and tend to himself for the day. It was Boxing Day, after all. Eggsy had no desire to go out into the rush of shoppers, but Harry would likely need to be on-hand at the shop to handle the influx of sales and returns.

Or so Eggsy reasoned.

* * *

Harry did make his way into work, but he needn't have gone so early. Hardly anyone was there in HQ when he stepped off the train. Unless there was an immediate threat, Christmas was the only slow time of the year for the Kingsmen. All that family tradition, even the highest ranking agents couldn't excuse themselves for work. 

Harry knew, however, exactly who would still be there holed up in the control room after endless winding, empty corridors. He'd have seen Harry coming the moment he stepped onto the train, and yet the door to Merlin's office was still locked when Harry arrived, forcing him to give a sharp rap and wait. 

The answering footsteps were unhurried. The lock clicked, and the door opened to reveal Harry's friend in his usual compromise between formality and comfort. Merlin gave Harry a nod of greeting. "Just in time. No difficulties on the home front, I trust?" 

Merlin stepped aside, allowing Harry to slip into the room. Most of the surveillance feeds were dedicated to official Kingsman business, streaming video or displaying tracker locations. Endless amounts of data that would be analyzed and summarized, with valuable pieces being kept for future reference and use. Merlin's desktop monitors were turned away from the doorway.

"Splendid," Harry confirmed, taking another swivel chair to pull up next to Merlin's and making himself comfortable. It was practically his chair these days and so there was little reason to wait on formality. "Comfortable down here with no one about." He spied the electric kettle plugged in and steaming in its usual corner with a few mugs waiting beside it and knew that before long one of them would be his, too. Merlin had probably been down here all day. And the last. Harry made a point of not bringing it up. 

"It always is. The holidays don't make as much of a difference as one might think. Fewer requests, and slower reports, but we're not exactly bustling with people in Analytics unless there's been an unusual situation cropping up." Merlin walked over to the waiting kettle and poured a measure into each mug. One was deposited in front of Harry before Merlin resumed his seat. "You're starting to attract comments, in fact, by virtue of coming in person for your briefing and information requests, and for playing favorites."Harry gave his tea a wry smile. "Well we should be done with that soon enough. The latter half, at least. I think he can handle my absences well enough now." 

When Harry lifted his gaze, he found Merlin watching him. The look could have been called assessing, but Harry knew that wasn't the whole of it. Merlin had had a hand in this. What Harry reported mattered to his own affairs.

Harry turned to the monitors and nodded. "How's our boy doing?" 

"Badly, as anticipated. I took the liberty of making certain that collections were routed to the most antagonistic of grifters, and that our fellow's bank had a bit of a mix-up regarding the status of his accounts and available credit." Merlin tapped out a few commands on the keyboard, switching a few of the camera views and turning on the audio. Domestic bickering filled the air, turned down to a tolerable level. Merlin sat back with his mug cupped in his hands. "He gave in to the temptation of shoring up his lies to his wife by making Christmas purchases as if nothing was wrong. She found the collection letters and the eviction and repossession warning this morning."Harry leaned forward to watch the feeds. 

An irate Mrs. Tranter was shouting at her husband as they stood in the kitchen, hands gesturing wildly around them. The man Harry had come to know on a first name basis over the past few months shouted back just as heatedly, refusing to take the blame for her accusations. In the background, just inside the living room, Harry could make out their three year old son sitting on the floor, hiding behind a chair. The timestamp on the recording confirmed that it had been just hours ago. 

Ben may have been backed into a corner, but his vehemence in defending himself was nearly violent with desperation. Yet it was his wife's words that stood out the most to Harry. Gone all night. Spending out of control. Making the wrong kind of friends in the business. Suspicions of cheating. That he'd left them. Didn't care about them anymore. That they'd had everything and he threw it all away. 

"She'll leave him soon." Harry didn't need to turn to Merlin to guess at the expression on his face. 

"She will. Given his temperament and psychological profile, however, it isn't likely that she'll have to. He'll leave first, in a way." Merlin reached out, tapped a key twice, and brought the screen out of the replay and to the live feeds. From the look of things, no one was in the house but Ben. "She took her son and went to be with her relatives for the day, and he's been steadily imbibing since then while brooding over the collection letters."Harry studied the man in the feed carefully. He'd come to recognize Ben's body language. He'd come to understand the man's personality. Mr. Tranter was normally an optimistic person, someone who could barely contemplate turning his life into what it was becoming. But these things he was about to lose were everything to him. Family, security, his perfect wife and his young son and above all, the pride in success. It had been that way all his life, striving to be the model man. Benjamin Tranter could never do well with shame and with failure. 

"You think it'll be soon?" Harry asked although he hardly had to.

"Possibly even within the next few hours. It will be suitably dramatic, and his blood alcohol level will be sufficient to overrule his better judgment and the voice of reason. His wife will come back to a life insurance payout." Merlin's inflection didn't change; he watched the screen and sipped from his mug without a flicker of emotion aside from interest. Harry recognized it from years past, matched in the faces of school boys who trapped insects and experimented on them before watching their death throes. "I admit, I had entertained the thought that you might refuse to follow through on this project. I'm glad to have been proven wrong."

Harry raised a brow. He let the moment hang although he had no real reason to. He knew Merlin wouldn't elaborate. "Because of the boy?" Harry asked, finally. His tea sat comfortably in his lap and he had no urge to fidget with it to distract Merlin. This was a strange thing they shared, but it was not intimidating. Neither did Harry feel the statement was condescending. Merely a curious observation. 

"The boy, and the circumstances of Eggsy's childhood. It wouldn't be unheard of to have twinges of empathy for a mark on the basis of similarities to a loved one." Merlin spared a glance away from the screens to look at Harry for a moment. That second was all that it took for Harry to understand that this project had been about more than just one more documented instance of corruption and failure for Merlin to add to some secreted collection. Merlin had been watching Harry as much as he'd been watching the downfall of the Tranter family.

Harry found it brought the beginnings of a smile to his mouth, but it wasn't one of pride. There was an odd sort of poetry to the situation they'd made, and Harry felt every bit of it. "On the contrary. I do empathise." Harry turned his attention back to the monitor, imagining the small child peeking out from behind the chair in the living room. "I've just chosen not to follow it." 

Harry could have imagined Eggsy in the Tranter boy's place. Easily. But he'd chosen to do this and he had not changed his mind. Perhaps it was a sense of loyalty, or perhaps it truly was as simple as his friendship with Merlin, or perhaps it was something that ran deeper, that Harry could recognise the right thing to do, but not think himself a part of it. Whatever the cause, this was the outcome. The two of them, sitting alone in Merlin's operations room, sipping tea and watching their targets' lives be destroyed. 

The man at the table was cracking to pieces right in front of them. He'd finished the drink in front of himself and the numb stoicism was beginning to fade. Mr. Tranter turned the wedding band on his finger again and again, staring down at the pile of letters on the table in front of him.

"What do you intend to do about the gun?" Merlin's question was so detached from the scene before them both that Harry took a moment to catch his meaning. "You know children. They find one unexpected thing and begin to look for more. Do tell me that you're taking precautions."

That time Harry did consider the tea mug in his hands. "I can't remove the guns from the house, Merlin. You know that. I'd rather he find them all than the both of us end up slaughtered in our sleep." Harry sighed. "But I have moved them to the safe room. There is nothing left hidden around the house." Harry glanced to his companion and didn't try to hide how he was assessing Merlin. The man remained unreadable, but not hostile. He was relaxed as anyone could be. "It'll be some time before I can decide what to tell him." Harry turned his concentration back to the monitor, imagining himself sitting at the same empty table Tranter sat at with his head in his hands while Eggsy was out with some other boy. 

"I wasn't suggesting removal, and I'm glad you didn't do anything so foolish. I vastly prefer you alive." Merlin's gaze tracked the man on the screen who was shakily getting to his feet. Mr. Tranter shuffled out of the kitchen and across the living room floor towards the stairs, pausing to look at the toys scattered across the carpet by his young son. "I'll keep an eye on things as best I can, but you will eventually have to take longer assignments. The others are starting to complain about unequal burdens."Harry nodded. "He's ready for it." He took a sip of his tea, watching the figure on the screen. "The house will never be completely safe with him there, but he can handle me being gone. He's secure enough now. And...I do feel better with you watching when you can," Harry admitted the last knowing it was obvious, but perhaps unexpected to be voiced aloud. 

Tranter stood at the threshold of his and his wife's bedroom now, staring in with little expression, but his body looked like his legs could barely hold him up.

Merlin didn't answer. He set his mug down on his desk and waited, sensing that the end he'd been waiting for so patiently was finally near. Quiet descended between the two men, with only the electric hum of the computer filling the air. The figure on the screen disappeared into the closet and returned a minute or two later with the cloth belt from a robe in hand.

Mr. Tranter went back downstairs. The empty glass in the kitchen was calling his name.

Harry sat forward, attention fixed on the man's movements as he began rifling through one of the top cupboards for another bottle. Tequila this time. Harry could tell he'd hidden it there at one point, probably early on in the drinking habit Mr. White had cultivated in him, but now there was little use. Mrs. Tranter knew about it. She'd found two hiding places in the cupboards before he'd given up, and by the last few weeks, that was the last of his worries. 

Mr. Tranter didn't sit down when he poured himself the next drink--a good sign, the part of Harry's mind that was analysing this told him. If he was motivated, actively determined, his attempt was more likely to be successful.

Mr. Tranter downed a frightening amount of drink in hardly any time at all. His next movements made his plan clearer: blackout from the alcohol, with slow strangulation. The house didn't have anything high enough to allow a sharp drop, but you didn't need such a thing to hang yourself. All that was needed was a tether point, a makeshift rope, and the right position where the weight of one's own body would cut off the supply of air.

Sitting on the floor, with rope knotted around his neck and secured to the doorknob, all Mr. Tranter would need to do was let the alcohol take him. Unconsciousness would cause him to slump, and gravity would do the rest.

Harry became all the more aware of the man beside him as he watched Tranter set himself into the right position. He'd come to know Mr. Tranter, Ben, fairly well over the last few months, and the significance of watching this man kill himself was not lost on Harry.... But still he found his attention straying to Merlin in these final moments. 

Silence had always reigned between them on the rare occasions they reviewed Harry's footage together. It was always practised with a quality of understanding, but still...there was so much lying beneath the surface of it. Harry watched Tranter check the strength of the knot and knew that there was little time left before Merlin went stony again. 

"What do you feel when you watch this?" Harry asked without taking his eyes off the screen. 

Shock passed across Merlin's face, and he glanced at Harry for a split second before looking back at the screen. He hadn't forgotten Harry's presence, but the silence between them had been so easy and long practiced that such a direct question was unexpected. Seconds passed as they watched the figure struggling on the other side of the cameras.

"...deep pleasure, of the sort when enjoying high art. Satisfaction." Merlin was transfixed by the sight of Mr. Tranter sobbing and fingering the wedding ring that was still in place on his left hand. "Unraveling people and bringing them down to the basest level shows you depths that you'd never see. An intimacy, of sorts. Witnessing it forms a connection. People are their most authentic selves, and the glimpse is fleeting and beautiful."

The confession...fit. It nestled inside Harry's chest like something familiar and the corner of his mouth lifted. He knew Merlin could see it out of the corner of his eye, even if he was still watching the screen where Mr. Tranter was breathing heavily, trying to will himself through it. 

Already the figure of the man was swaying dangerously where he was hunched, the alcohol coming on quickly, and Harry knew he was sure to be sweating, probably to the point of soaking through his shirt, even if they couldn't see it very well on camera with the way Tranter was turned. 

Merlin shuddered and leaned forward slightly as Mr. Tranter tilted sideways and the cord drew taut. His pupils were blown watching a scene that would have disturbed and disgusted anyone else. Not all of Merlin's victims ended up deceased, from what Harry knew, and yet twice now Harry had brought death and ruin on strangers for the other man. For his friendship and his aid. Merlin had implied before that he had information on every other Kingsman agent and their vices, all their little demons. He could had taken a similar tack and helped Harry only enough to hold Eggsy over his head as blackmail. For some reason, Merlin had let Harry get closer and gambled his own wellbeing on the strength of their friendship.

Whatever he had gauged in Harry that led him to do so, he must have been right. For here Harry was, knee deep in this and not batting an eyelash. It took a good spy, Harry knew, to decide whom to trust. Because there was no such thing as trusting no one. 

So Harry watched alongside Merlin, respectful now in his silence, but inwardly he allowed himself to enjoy the sheer amount of pleasure the other man was expressing. It was a very rare thing for Merlin, and Harry felt particularly well that he had brought it about. 

Merlin's hand drifted upwards until the edge of it covered his mouth. On someone else, such a gesture would have been an expression of shock or disgust. On him, it was only consideration and a particular sort of joy, like sampling the first bite from a plate offered by a master chef. Mr. Tranter was no longer conscious on the screen, but this sort of hanging was brutal. It would take some time for slow suffocation to do its work, and with the camera at such a distance, it would be difficult to tell the exact moment his death occurred.

"Thank you for this."

The lift in Harry's mouth pulled into a smile. "You are most welcome."

It wasn't a lie. Harry felt Merlin's appreciation, deeply. It wasn't his only reason, of course, but it was one that Harry found mattered to him. One that he enjoyed, even. Not the late nights perhaps, not that it took him away from the time he spent with his new ward, and not, even, for the end result, but simply for Merlin's sake. Although Harry did have to admit, he could see the fascination in it. And he did like showing off. 

Merlin left the screen recording and turned his attention to Harry. He'd seen the moment of lost consciousness, and there would be time enough for him to go back through the recording later to try to guess the moment of death. He stopped to consider Harry, and his gaze settled on the pleased smile gracing Harry's mouth. Merlin wasn't used to such an expression being directed at him with any real sincerity or depth to it, and from the slight confusion on his face, he didn't know how to process the experience now that it was happening.

It only made Harry's smile widen. No one caught Merlin off guard like that. 

"What a pair we are, hm?" Harry asked, glancing at his tea mug before he set it aside at the table before he returned his gaze to Merlin, expression no less...fond. No wonder it was disconcerting. Harry might have laughed had he not known Merlin might take it as being laughed _at_. But the whole situation.... Harry cocked his head and watched Merlin. "You'll want another sweep of the house, I presume? Before his wife finds him and the cops destroy the scene?"

"Yes, if you would." Merlin paused, licked his lips and averted his gaze, then continued. For all that he'd been relaxed, tension had started to radiate from him. "The tape would normally be enough, but one last sweep adds... a special touch to it all. And there's the matter of the cameras. It's unlikely that the cops will find them, but a minute risk is still a risk. Low probability isn't the same as an impossibility."

Harry let the anticipation of the job sink in for a moment. Merlin may be showing signs of anxiousness, but Harry knew that it was more for the last request of his services than anything else. 

"It would be my pleasure," Harry said as he rose, pushing aside his chair into its former position and resting his hand on Merlin's arm. Touch was never really shared between them, nor with Merlin and anyone else, but Harry thought the moment appropriate. He gave the man a nod. "I should be back within the hour."

Merlin nodded back and watched Harry walk through the door. It clicked shut behind him.It was some time before Merlin turned away from the solid metal panel that yielded no more answers than it did the sight of his departed friend.


	23. Chapter 23

True to his word, over the next few months, Harry picked up the slack Merlin had been allowing him at work. He went on regular missions, gruelling ones more often than not in the first few weeks after Christmas, as though Merlin were trying to make up for the lost time. 

Keeping Eggsy a secret from the organization was no longer an option, and Harry knew it. He'd decided as much that Christmas and after Lancelot and Percival met Eggsy at the shop during his fitting, there were bound to be questions and the knights were bound to come to the right conclusion about Harry's schedule over the past month. Harry relented and made the informal announcement, as he knew he would have to, mere days later. There were a few raised eyebrows around the table, but all things considered, the fact that their Galahad had the ambition to build a somewhat untraditional family was more or less accepted. Most of the knights had families of their own. Although Harry knew Arthur would look into the situation and surely make his judgements about Harry's choice in wards, there did not seem to be any extra suspicion in the man's belittling comments when he did see fit to mention the Unwin boy. Harry could see the distaste for his apparent sentiment hidden behind Arthur's gaze when they met to discuss it. But Arthur only asked the once, and only briefly, and as far as Kingsman was concerned afterwards, that was that.

By the time winter passed into spring, Eggsy was forced to accept Harry's absences as par for the course. 

Less acceptable were Harry's injuries. Such things were inevitable on missions. Even the lightest and safest of assigned duties could take a turn for the worse. Had they not been intimate, Eggsy would likely never have noticed, but that was a moot point. They _were_ intimate, and the bruises and scratches couldn't be hidden from the boy when he could easily spot them in bed or during a shared shower together. Harry brushed them off as trivial, the results of a little sightseeing and sporting when he was traveling, or of a martial arts and fitness class he was taking with Landon and some other coworkers. The latter excuse wasn't the most thought through: Eggsy had immediately perked up at the mention of martial arts, remembering his time with Landon, and then refused to see why he couldn't join such classes for himself.

Harry began to relent after Eggsy's prodding on that front, acknowledging that he'd been out of gymnastics class for quite some time by then, but Harry remained firm that Eggsy would have to join a class of his own if he wanted to try, and that the ones he attended were restricted to adults. If the bruises Harry came back with were any indication, that restriction probably made a lot of sense. Still, sometimes it seemed more trouble than it was worth. 

Harry's attentions on Eggsy remained a constant, from finding new and exciting places to take Eggsy to...well, their encounters in private. That was one thing Eggsy had perhaps not anticipated he'd be worried over, but after going to live with Harry, and after losing his mother, it was surely natural to have been nervous on some level that Harry would take care of him as well as he'd promised he would. But almost every night, Eggsy found that he was wanted and loved, whether Harry caught him around the middle and pulled him down onto the couch after dinner or woke Eggsy in the early morning hours with his gentle hands and mouth. 

That sort of constancy was an amazing thing. More than Eggsy had realized it would be. So much of his home life had centred on insecurity and shifting ground. Harry's mood was consistently positive, open, and welcoming. Eggsy was encouraged to voice his thoughts and wants, needs and questions. It never entered his mind that there might not be enough food that week, or that they might have to go stay somewhere else the next month if things stayed bad. Harry never brought anyone dangerous or repugnant home.

Eggsy didn't miss such instability. He did miss his mother, and he missed Harry during his routine absences. Regular affection didn't keep the boy's spirits from dropping whenever Harry took off for a day or longer. Eggsy began, more and more, to cope by distracting himself or doing something that reminded him of Harry, so that he didn't feel quite so lonely.

One such absence occurred just after Eggsy had gotten out of school for the summer. 

He hadn't gotten used to them for that long yet, not whole days at a time when he was home. Harry had gone away the occasional weekend before, but it was rare and this time all Eggsy's mates were tied up with other things when he'd called. Harry didn't mind him taking the tube up to see his friends or staying in the house alone just so long as Eggsy carried his phone with him and was able to call in case of an emergency. But this time, Harry was going to be gone for two days and Eggsy didn't even have the drudgery of school to keep him busy. 

Eggsy quickly ran out of things that he wanted to do. He'd finished his most recent video game the previous week and didn't really feel like starting over. Making a sugary snack for himself only worked up until the point that everything was devoured. Eggsy wasn't to wander around outside the house by himself unless he was on his way to a friend's house or similar, where people would know if he didn't get to somewhere on time and would report his absence. Eggsy felt trapped in the house, and everything reminded him of the fact that Harry wasn't there and wouldn't be back for some time.

Eggsy wandered through Harry's office, looking at the strange conspiracy newspapers pinned randomly to the wall. The room smelled like Harry, just a bit, and Eggsy reached out to run fingertips over the desk. Smooth wood, with fine grain. Harry had particular tastes. Eggsy wished that his lover had left him something to hold onto again while he was gone. He no longer was worried that Harry was going to disappear on him or never come back, but having a token to hold onto seemed like it would make the waiting easier.

It was with that in mind that Eggsy returned to the bedroom and began poking through the drawers. He'd not seen where Harry had put it, but the watch he'd lent Eggsy once before had to be in the house somewhere.

Harry had more than one. That day, all those months ago, Harry had come back with another just like the one he'd left with Eggsy, but they were expensive and he didn't leave them lying around. The only place Eggsy ever saw one was on Harry's night stand when they settled into bed. Logic would dictate, however, that Harry must be keeping the other somewhere with the rest of his clothes. 

Eggsy moved from the dresser to the closet, going through rows of shirts and ties, shoes and socks and other items with no luck. He found Harry's assortment of cuff links and tie clips in a little drawer atop the dresser, and some of them were truly beautiful to behold in gold and gems and intricate engravings, but there was no watch. 

His spirits began to fall as he took one last turn about the room before his eyes wandered to the night stand. There was only the lamp, alarm clock, and a single box of tissues, none of the things Harry kept in his pockets during the day and set there at night. But...on closer inspection, Eggsy realised it had a drawer. It was something he'd never noticed before since it didn't look like it had a handle until he reached his hand on the underside of it and found the groove he could pull forward, but as soon as he did, he knew this was it. Sure enough, there it was, the gleaming gold watch, folded neatly in the back corner. 

Eggsy perused the few other items tucked in the drawer. None of them looked interesting. Eggsy had never seen why some people were fascinated by fancy metal pens when ones from Tesco worked just fine. A lighter was nestled in the drawer, which was odd considering Harry didn't smoke, but perhaps not _too_ odd. It looked older and engraved, so it was likely a keepsake from something.

Eggsy picked up the watch and let the weight of it settle on his palm. It was just like he remembered, and when he raised it up to get a closer look, the scent from before was still there. Fine leather. Eggsy would have to ask Harry sometime what it was about leather that made it smell so good, like getting enveloped in a warm and velvety blanket.

Eggsy sat down on the bed and then rolled onto his back. Harry had made it up again that morning before he'd left, and the blankets were plush and comfortable underneath Eggsy as he ran his fingers over the face of the watch. With the sunlight streaming in through the windows and glancing off its surface, he could turn it this way and that to reflect points of light off the wall. It was warm when he let them fall on his hands. The glass was thick, well made. There were more dials on its side than Eggsy had ever seen on a watch before. It must have been one of those ones where you could not only set the time, but the date and the season. He'd even seen some that charted the stars, but he couldn't tell if that's what the extra ring of numbers on the outer edge of the face meant or if they stood for something else altogether. 

Like any curious boy would, Eggsy began to fiddle with it. The ring of numbers on the outside rotated, but didn't seem to do anything. Eggsy had wondered if they were a sort of stopwatch timer, but after turning the ring until the zero at the top read eight instead, the ring stayed in place instead of ticking down. Eggsy pursed his lips and decided to try the little knobs on the side next. One pulled out with a click and he spun it back and forth, watching the hands move across the face of the watch. Another click outward and the numbers in tiny windows inside the watch moved; date, then.

Eggsy clicked that knob back in place and tried the next one. To his surprise, a slot on the side of the watch opened up. Normally he would have peered into it to see what was in there, but Eggsy noticed one more small detail.

The watch was clicking. The ring of numbers was finally moving, counting down from eight. Eggsy set it down on the bedspread and yanked his hands away, just in time to watch something shoot out of the gap in the side of the watch and stick to the wall.

The watch jerked with the force of it and Eggsy jumped. Whatever had happened, it was over. The watch lay still and the light that had flashed across the face went blank again. He looked at the wall....and sure enough, there was something sticking out of it. 

It had happened so fast. Almost like a gunshot, but without the sound. 

Carefully, Eggsy climbed off the bed and moved to inspect the little metal piece that had embedded itself into the wall. About an inch of it stuck out from the wallpaper and when Eggsy took hold of the end and pulled it out, he found the other end was made of a short needle. 

Eggsy didn't know what to make of it. He'd never seen a dangerous watch before. It had to be some sort of weapon, because the boy couldn't think of any other reason that a watch would spit out a needle quick enough to embed the needle into a wall.

Harry had no reason for owning a weaponized watch. Now that Eggsy thought about it, it seemed strange that Harry would lend him something that had a weapon in it at all, much less do it and not warn him about it. Eggsy wondered if Harry knew that shot out metal spikes if you touched the wrong knob.

Except... Harry had to, didn't he? He owned multiples of the same watch, which meant it wasn't an heirloom or antique purchase that came with features he didn't know about. If they were all the same watch, they'd all have the same needle-shooting feature.

Eggsy raised it up under the light of the window. The metal was clean and unscratched. Strong. He touched his finger to the tip of it, careful not to let it scratch, and found it was sharper than he'd expected. 

When Eggsy picked up the watch, he couldn't figure out if the needle was meant to be loaded back into it somehow, or if there were more inside it. They would fit if there were. The watch was large enough to match Harry's hands. Something had flashed over the glass, too, just before it had gone off. Eggsy hadn't caught what it said, but it had definitely said something. His fingers rested over the dial, brushing against its smooth surface, tempted to try again. 

Temptation was too much to resist. Now that he knew what to expect, Eggsy was more careful. He turned the number dial up to thirty, looked at the knobs on the side, and pulled the one that he remembered touching, right next to the one that adjusted the clock hands. The side opened again, accompanied by the mechanical ticking the countdown of the number ring along the outside of the clock face. Eggsy turned the opening towards the wall and watched the clock face for the flash.

_Amnesia_. The writing lasted only a second, but it flashed across the face enough to obscure the watch hands beneath, and the watch clicked and shot another needle into the wall.

It still made him jump. Just, a little less that time. Eggsy stared at the wall and then back to the watch's face. 

Amnesia? Eggsy recognised the word, but that made it sound like....there was more to these needles than he'd thought. It really was a weapon. Harry had never said anything about it. Eggsy would have remembered. It didn't make sense. The whole idea was more like something out of a film, not the reality that sat in Eggsy's hand. He'd never heard of such a thing in real life before, and he couldn't imagine why Harry would need it. 

Harry was a tailor. A tailor that got into more dangerous situations than Eggsy would have thought tailors ever did, considering the mugging incident, but that wasn't enough to explain why Harry would have such a sophisticated hidden weapon. Eggsy would have expected him to use mace, or his old soldier training, or even that gun hidden away in the garage if he was worried about self-defense. A weaponized watch was something on another level, like what spies or tricky criminals used.

Harry wasn't a criminal. He _couldn't_ be. He was too nice to be one. Criminals were people like Dean. They were mean and abusive and didn't care who they hurt.

Something about the room had changed. When Eggsy looked around it again, at the standing mirror he had stood in front of to admire his suit with Harry, to the big polished dresser and the closet with neat rows of Harry's shirts and ties, to the tall windows letting in the spring sunlight, to the plush rug under his feet.... The watch in his hands made all of it seem strange even though Eggsy slept there every night and woke there every morning, warm and safe in Harry's arms. 

Eggsy couldn't help but wonder if the watch was the only thing with hidden features to it. He doubted it. Eggsy's mind was drifting to the strangeness of the electrical box in the garage, which had held a gun instead of fuses or wires. Harry's watch held little metal darts in it. Now that Eggsy thought about it, the drawer it had been in was a little strange, too - somewhat hidden and having to be slid open from the groove underneath.

Eggsy turned back to the other items in the drawer. He drew out a few knick-knacks, but after playing with them, none of them seemed strange.

In the end, all he could do was...nothing. He kept the watch, and the darts. They had barely even made holes in the wall, certainly unnoticeable to the untrained eye. 

Eggsy returned downstairs and sat himself in front of the telly, but flipping through the channels provided marginal distraction at best. He remembered the last time he'd sat there feeling like this, except that had been different with the gun. That had made him worry. Eggsy knew what guns meant. He knew all the sorts of dirty business that could go along with them. This, on the other hand, he had no idea. 

He wouldn't find out anytime soon, either. Harry wasn't going to return until the following evening. Now the house wasn't only empty, it had also gained a sense of danger and unreality. Eggsy hadn't found anything strange for months, so it stood to reason that he wasn't going to set off any booby traps. It was ridiculous to look at everything in the house and wonder if it was different like the watch was. 

But Eggsy did wonder. He wondered as he laid upside-down on the sofa and watched cartoons, and as he went into the kitchen to microwave the pizza rolls he'd begged for until Harry bought them for him. He thought about them when racing his remote control car around the house and chasing Mr. Pickle with it. It weighed down his mind when he lingered in the shower, hand running over the tiles and remembering all of the things he and Harry had done in the shower together.

The bedroom felt a little less safe when it was time for bed. Eggsy left the bathroom light on down the hall and cracked the door open so he'd not be completely in the dark. The light reflected off the bedroom mirror and made Eggsy look even smaller as he was, nested in the center of the bed and clutching Harry's pillow to his chest.

The second day was marginally better if only because he'd already imagined everything the watch could possibly mean. Boredom and the need to occupy himself took care of the rest, but as morning turned into afternoon and afternoon turned into evening, every hour brought Harry's arrival that much closer and with it came more thoughts of the watch and the inevitable confrontation. 

Maybe it would be like the gun. Maybe Harry would have an explanation. One that actually made sense, hard as it was to imagine. 

It wasn't until a quarter after six that Eggsy finally heard the sound of footsteps at the front door. 

Eggsy raced to greet him, making it just in time as the door swung inwards. Harry looked tired but relieved to be home and happy to see him. Eggsy threw himself forward and Harry had to drop his luggage in order to catch him. " _Harry_! I missed you, it was so _boring_. I finished my games and there was nothin' to do and everyone was busy so I couldn't _go_ anywhere. Was your trip ok?"

"Whoa!" Harry took a step back, Eggsy locked in his arms, until he hit the door. "Missed me I take it." But Harry chuckled. His fingers swept through Eggsy's hair. Harry felt like the rock he had become for Eggsy, lifting him up in his arms and letting Eggsy wrap his legs around Harry's waist until they were eye to eye. Harry kissed him then, with one arm around Eggsy's back and the other hand in his hair. Harry lingered, his eyes warm with affection when they parted. "I missed you, too." 

Harry smiled before he set Eggsy back down. "Here, grab that for me, will you," he said pointing to the smaller one of his bags. "Help me bring these upstairs and I'll tell you all about it."

"Got it!" Eggsy scooped it up, though he had to use both hands on the handle and his back arched in his attempt to keep it off the ground. Harry didn't mind. Eggsy made quite a sight like that, the curve of his spine drawing the eye right down to the seat of his trousers. Harry let Eggsy climb the stairs in front of him and his smile grew a touch wider.

"Where did you go this time? Can't have been too far, if it was only two days. Right?"

"Not too terribly far, no. Belgium, actually. Ghent. Quite lovely this time of year." They rounded the corner to the bedroom and Harry set the suitcases down at the foot of the bed, gesturing for Eggsy to do the same. 

The sun was out longer now, just making its descent upon the horizon, and it caught the side of Harry's face in orange light. Eggsy must have looked the same because Harry stopped in the middle of straightening after he'd put the bags down. He stared at Eggsy with the touch of a smile at his mouth. Harry reached out and traced his finger down the edge of Eggsy's cheek. "You are magnificently beautiful. Did you know that?"

Eggsy blushed. After months of such comments, he still didn't know how to respond to praise like that. Praise in general was rough, but compliments about his appearance felt strange, mostly due to the way people only seemed to make such comments about girls. "No, but you tell me it a lot. Doesn't matter if it's true or not, just matters if you think so."

Harry was drawing him closer, cupping the side of his face, and Eggsy spotted the bedside table out of the corner of his eye. Questions tugged at him, and Eggsy worried at his lower lip. "Harry, can I ask you somethin'?"

The tips of Harry's fingers threaded into his hair, massaging at the back of his neck. Harry didn't look like he was in any hurry, but he was still taking Eggsy in, looking him up and down with his gaze catching on Eggsy's mouth. Perhaps Harry sensed the nature of what he was about to say, or perhaps he didn't. It was hard to tell when Harry would have been watching him like that either way. 

"What's that?" 

"I... um, how come your watch is weird? I missed you when you were gone, and I remembered the watch you lent me when you went away before, so I went to find it so I could have it with me again. There was other stuff to hold onto, but I remembered it from before, y'know?" Eggsy rambled nervously, searching Harry's face all the while. "I found it, but something weird happened. It clicked and something shot out of the side, and... why do you have a watch that shoots stuff? I know it's stupid, but I started worryin' that other stuff in the house was gonna start acting weird."

Harry's eyebrows knitted together. "The watch that I gave you to hold onto. The same one." His eyes flashed up and down Eggsy. "You weren't hurt, were you?" Harry looked relieved when Eggsy shook his head. His whole body shook with the sigh he released. Harry's fingers curled around the back of his neck. "I'll explain. Just. Where is the watch now?"

"I put it on the table in the guest room. After it shot things into the wall I didn't really want it near me, 'specially not while I was sleeping. They were little metal darts, but they went fast enough to stick." Eggsy's hands balled into fists around handfuls of Harry's jacket. For once, Harry didn't chide him about the creases it would make. "How come you didn't warn me about it when you lent it to me?"

A look passed across Harry's face, one that looked a lot like hurt, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. "Eggsy...." Harry took Eggsy's hands in his own and pulled him over to the bed where Harry sat down. "What you found...was a dart tipped with a tranquillizer." Eggsy's brows furrowed and Harry went on before he could speak. "It's for self defence." He swallowed. "I know it's...a bit elaborate, but.... After that time I was mugged, I decided to have these outfitted." Harry searched Eggsy's eyes. "I know it's all a bit paranoid, but I'd never intended for you to be in danger."

"That's a bit mad, though, innit? Like..." Eggsy frowned. He knew very well that Harry wasn't poor in any sense of the word, but he also knew that altering jewelry with high tech gadgets would be very costly. Costly for the work, and possibly for making people stay quiet. Sneaky weapons weren't looked on very well in the UK. "That's a lot of money to make a watch dangerous. And why couldn't you just use mace? Or carry that gun you have?"

"It was costly," Harry sighed. "But you can't bring guns and mace with you wherever you go, especially not through airport security and...well, I'd rather be a little bit mad than surprised like that again." Harry pulled Eggsy closer and wrapped his arms loosely around Eggsy's middle. He looked serious now, and Eggsy knew that he'd brought up a fairly serious point, but there was something else lingering in Harry's eyes. Some other concern that Eggsy just couldn't make out. 

"I am glad you're not hurt," Harry said quietly. "That's the main thing."

"Me too. I didn't know what it was and almost looked in the little hole, except for the clicking noise. That would have been bad." Something about Harry's explanation wasn't right. Harry was concerned about something he wasn't saying, something more than just Eggsy's safety. A tranquilizer watch was needlessly complicated and expensive as a security precaution, and also wouldn't do much good against the kind of situation Harry would have to worry about: being attacked by a group of people. One dart wasn't going to do much good against more than one person.

Eggsy clung to Harry even tighter. "You'd tell me if anything else in the house is dangerous, right?"

"Yes. Eggsy.... I'm sorry. I didn't even think you'd pick that watch up again." Harry lifted his arms, tightening them around Eggsy's back. Harry looked sad when Eggsy looked up at him again. That was the only thing he could think to describe it. That was the feeling that was throwing him off. Eggsy couldn't make out why, but Harry was sad. 

"I've been talking with Sean," Harry began again. "He's been making a good case for you to go to those martial arts classes you've been asking about. Any of your choosing. I thought I'd surprise you."

"Oh." The thought was enough to distract Eggsy momentarily. He hadn't forgotten the places Landon had taken him before, and his envy had only grown when Harry had confessed to taking some classes himself. Eggsy missed the physicality of sports, the competition of it all, and he hated feeling left out. "I'd like that. I don't know the difference between any of 'em, so I don't know which one to pick, but I'd like that."

Harry was covering up his emotions as best as he could, but it wasn't quite enough. Nothing about Harry's expression was odd. He was the same as always, but Eggsy could still feel the sadness underneath. Perhaps it was something about the way that his touch lingered more than it usually did.

"Well I have a few ideas," Harry went on. "Maybe we'll take a look at a couple classes and see which you prefer. We can make a day of it." Harry's smile warmed. It touched his eyes, but whatever Eggsy was feeling still lingered underneath. "I don't suppose you've had much for dinner now, have you? What do you say I cook us up something quick? Something a little healthier than those pizza rolls and ice cream I don't doubt you've been indulging in while I was out." Harry squeezed Eggsy's side, the teasing light and familiar. 

"Yeah, I am pretty hungry. Don't knock the pizza rolls 'til you've tried them. They were really good!" Eggsy protested. "Just wasn't enough of them. It's weird not having you around for dinner, and I don't really like to cook all that much." Eggsy followed Harry back down the stairs to the kitchen. Eggsy didn't think he was imagining that Harry stayed closer than he normally did, which was pretty close. Instead of walking in front and letting Eggsy follow a short ways behind him, he slowed his pace to let Eggsy keep up.

Harry did small things like that for the rest of dinner. It was hard to tell if it was just Eggsy, or if Harry had missed him, or if Harry was really worried about him finding the watch. Potentially getting hurt. Harry didn't bring it up again, and he didn't let on whether it weighed on his mind, but Eggsy still wondered. 

They ate with Harry talking about the sights he saw on his trip, the shops he'd visited, and the beauty of the Belgian city. He asked Eggsy where he'd like to go on vacation someday. Conversation between them wasn't stilted or sparse, and when they were finished, Harry wrapped Eggsy up in his arms on the couch while they watched a bit of telly before bed. 

It was all so normal. Eggsy began to relax a bit. With Harry encouraging it, it was difficult not to. He had missed Harry, and he _wanted_ everything to be alright. Like with the gun, Eggsy wanted to believe that there was a rational explanation for things.

Except Harry's explanation still didn't make a lot of sense. It lingered at the back of Eggsy's mind in a way the gun hadn't. A hidden gun made sense for an ex-soldier with a soldier's trauma and paranoia. Watches that shot tranquilizer darts were much less easy to buy into as a reasonable and relatively commonplace item. Harry was quirky so far as older people went, even amongst posh people who got up to strange things, but Eggsy didn't think he was the right sort of quirky for the watch to make sense.

If Harry noticed something was lingering on Eggsy's mind the rest of the night, he didn't mention it. 

Harry had him get ready for bed as usual, pulled Eggsy into his arms and the blankets around them as usual, kissed Eggsy goodnight as usual with long strokes of his tongue and lingering hands, but Harry didn't take it further than that. He might have been tired from the flight, or maybe he really did sense Eggsy had something on his mind, but for whatever reason Harry let him be after saying goodnight. 

Eggsy fell asleep listening to the sound of Harry's quiet breathing and feeling the warmth of a much larger body wrapped protectively around him.

* * *

A subtle tension remained between Harry and Eggsy over the next few days. They didn't talk about it, but Eggsy hadn't stopped thinking about the watch, and Harry seemed... not careful, not exactly, but off in a way that Eggsy found hard to pin down. They resumed their usual routine, and Harry started to help Eggsy research different types of martial arts so that he could choose what classes he wanted to take. 

Days, however, were different. Eggsy didn't have school to occupy his daytime hours, and so when Harry went to work, Eggsy was left to his own devices and thoughts. Thoughts which turned again towards nervous suspicion when, one afternoon, Eggsy decided to do a bit more reading on the martial arts types that he and Harry had been perusing. He went to Harry's office, thinking it would be easy enough to log on and access the internet like they had done together in the previous few nights.

Security stopped him. Eggsy had thought it would be like school, where teachers left computers unlocked or with text passwords that were easily guessed. Harry's computer was a different animal entirely - besides the text box, there was a camera that blinked to life and zeroed in on his face, which was replicated in a little gridded window next to where a password was to be entered.

He froze. 

At first it felt like he'd done something wrong, tripped up some feature he shouldn't have. Eggsy had heard a lot about internet safety at school and such, that kids could access things they would get in serious trouble for online, and even if his friends laughed it off and went looking for porn anyway and Eggsy had scoffed at such paranoia before, it suddenly, irrationally, jumped to the forefront of his mind. 

Except that he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't even gotten the chance to access the internet, or any of Harry's personal files. He was just trying to get into the computer. And he'd heard of webcams before, but his face staring back at him on the screen behind the grid....this was something else. 

The cursor sat there, waiting for him to input something, but Eggsy had a feeling that no matter what he tried, it wasn't going to work. 

Eggsy left the office with an unsettled feeling in his stomach, one that was becoming more familiar. Harry didn't seem like the sort of person to have a lot of high-tech modern security... except for the matter of the watch. Harry's house was outfitted with standard security, nothing too over the top, but the watch was on another level. Harry was wealthy, but he was a tailor, not a stockbroker or anyone who would have sensitive information that needed to be kept guarded. His finances would be kept safe by his bank. Harry had no need to go overboard on making certain his computer was secure unless there was something on that computer that needed protecting.

Eggsy had no idea what that might be.

He knew Harry worked there a lot, but he'd never thought much of it or seen anything strange on the computer before. Eggsy hadn't seen a lot on the computer, when he thought about it. Occasionally Harry helped him look something up for school, but he didn't have any games on it and so Eggsy had never thought about asking to use it for more than that. None of his friends had computers at home, and he could browse the internet at school if he wanted to. 

The only thing he could think to do was ask Harry for the password and what the camera was for, but now the whole encounter made him feel like he'd gone snooping into something he shouldn't have. Even if it was just the computer. The same computer he'd been allowed to use with Harry there, thinking nothing of it at the time. 

Eggsy's imagination ran wild. The more he thought, the more upset he became. He still couldn't figure out why Harry had been sad about him finding the watch; it hadn't been from being scared that he might have been hurt. Eggsy knew _that_ much. On the telly, if someone was gone on mysterious business trips a lot and was very careful about their phones and computers then the wife found out that the husband was having an affair, but that was ludicrous. Eggsy couldn't believe that Harry would like anyone else and, besides, he wasn't gone often enough for that sort of thing.

Eggsy didn't know what it meant, but it _felt_ like secrets. Hypocritical as it was, considering he'd kept secrets of his own during his life, Eggsy wasn't happy with the idea that Harry might be hiding some things from him. He'd always trusted Harry enough to tell him the truth. Harry should be trusting him enough to do the same.

He only had a few more hours to wait before Harry came home from work. Not long enough to call up his friends and get out of the house to avoid thinking about it any longer. He spent those hours with that feeling twisting in his gut and all sorts of questions flitting across the forefront of his mind. 

When Harry did finally step through the front door, the first thing Eggsy heard was his name called out. Harry sounded like he was in a cheerful mood, and he certainly looked like it when his head popped around the corner of the hall a moment later. "There you are Eggsy," Harry began as he strolled into the living room, unbuttoning his jacket. "I've got a surprise for you. Sean had an extra pass, some mix up with the sales rep.... Tell me, have you ever had an interest in mountain climbing?"

"Mountain climbing? Like, with a _real_ mountain? Wouldn't we have to fly somewhere for that?" London, as far as Eggsy was aware, was full of relatively flat landscape for kilometres. Only once you got up towards Scotland did things start to get truly steep, and Eggsy didn't think those counted as mountains." What... when are we going? You're coming, right?"

"Of course I'd be coming." Harry smiled, setting his jacket over the back of an armchair. "And you will, eventually, need a real mountain, of which we _might_ be able to vacation to this summer, but the first few weeks would be training only, indoors with a wall. What do you say? A bit of an adventure, possibly one with a very nice view at the end?" Harry looked quite proud of the idea, standing there in the living room and presenting it to Eggsy. Controlled energy straightened his back and lifted his voice and Eggsy could tell this may have been meant for him, but Harry was excited about the idea. 

Eggsy's face split wide with a grin. Harry only had a split second before the youth barrelled into him and wrapped him in a hug. "Yeah! Oh man, this'll be awesome! I've never done any _real_ climbing before. Trees and climbing out the window at my old place don't count." The memories of that dropped a stone in Eggsy's stomach and stole a bit of his happy excitement. He had questions. "Harry...? Could I use your computer tomorrow? I wanted to look up more about martial arts schools and stuff."

Harry looked puzzled at the sudden turn, but not disappointed. "Sure, I suppose so. I'll plan on making something simple for dinner and we can look it up when I get home. Still thinking of Tae Kwon Do, perhaps moving onto Aikido?" 

Harry led Eggsy into the kitchen with him as he talked. It was the usual routine, Harry would say hello after work and then get started on dinner right away. He sometimes said that if he sat down first, he'd never get up again. But Eggsy's question seemed to have gone over his head. 

"I dunno. I've heard Tae Kwon Do isn't all that great. Like, it's got some weaknesses other ones don't have. I wanted to look at that more. I've got all day to do that kind of thing, so we don't gotta waste time on it when you get home." Eggsy sat down on one of the stools by the island when they reached the kitchen. They were high enough that Eggsy felt taller and more confident, and he wanted to watch Harry. "I used to go to the library for that, but that's a ways away and it's stupid to go so far when you've got a computer with internet."

"Ah, I see." Harry turned to rummage through the fridge, but he didn't sound _too_ hesitant about the idea. Eggsy could tell that he was thinking though. "Let me see if I can set up a guest account for you tonight then. You'll just have to remember to log out when you're done with it and that should be fine." 

Harry set out sauce pans and took out a packet of chicken. He readied the knives and spices without even looking at Eggsy, as he usually did in their evening conversations. Truly, Harry didn't seem uncomfortable in the least. 

Making a guest account wasn't all that strange, except in the greater context. Harry had not felt squeamish about letting Eggsy have access to anything in the house before, personal or otherwise. Alcohol wasn't kept under lock and key, and Harry let him drink. Knives in the kitchen weren't locked up. Erotic books weren't off limits. Harry was so relaxed about every other piece of his life and home that making Eggsy a restricted guest account, instead of just letting him have the password, was suspicious against a background of trusting indulgence.

Harry went on as though nothing was wrong, chopping vegetables and heating noodles, spicing the chicken and throwing it all into a big sauce pan before he turned around and noticed Eggsy thinking. Harry wiped his hands dry and moved over to the island counter. "Penny for your thoughts?" Harry asked, warmth in his voice and interest in his gaze. Eggsy must have looked lost in his own head. 

Eggsy tried his best to smooth his expression over into something relaxed and neutral. Guilt bubbled up in him that he was thinking any bad things about Harry at all. "Huh? Oh... I guess I was just wondering if I could get my own computer someday. For the internet, and for games. Maybe for my birthday?" Eggsy looked hopeful, but he couldn't read Harry at all. The fact that he couldn't only reawakened memories of the lessons he'd had before he went to see the psychiatrist and the magistrates. Harry could lie, and lie well, and Eggsy knew this.

Finally a smile spread over Harry's mouth. "I think that would be a splendid idea. Something you could use for school work as well." Maybe Harry was being serious or maybe he was trying to get Eggsy to roll his eyes, but Eggsy was too lost in observing Harry to give the man a satisfying reaction. Harry's smile tightened and his fingers slid over the back of Eggsy's neck before he turned back to the frying pan. "It'll be nice not having to type your papers up at school at the very least." 

"Or the library. Library's not all bad, but it feels like _more_ work to have to travel to get stuff done there. Worse to stay at school and do it during computer lab time." Harry didn't say anything in return. Eggsy kept watching the small movements of his arms, shifting the pan back and forth across the burner and turning the cooking food with a utensil. Eggsy's guilt was eating him alive and all he wanted to do was slide off of the stool, go to Harry, and pour out everything that he was thinking. 

Eggsy was used to Harry being his confidante. The problem was that that didn't work when Eggsy was having negative, suspicious thoughts _about Harry_.

Harry didn't turn around again until he'd dished up two plates of chicken lo mein. He set them down at the table and Eggsy went to get silverware, which had become his job during supper. Harry picked out a light red wine for dinner that night, something not uncommon, and although he usually offered Eggsy juice first, Harry held a glass out to him with a question lifting his brow. "Care to indulge tonight?"

Eggsy nodded and smiled. He didn't always like the taste of alcohol, but Harry was very good at picking out things that covered up the taste in some way. Rich and fruity, or sweet to the point of almost being candy - Harry had a good idea of Eggsy's tastes and tolerated his childish palette with only a little good-natured cringing now and then. "Yeah. Y'know, I really like it that you do that." Harry paused mid-turn in retrieving a corkscrew, and Eggsy laughed at his questioning look. "Treatin' me like an adult. I know I've said it before, but it's... more obvious when dealin' with other people. They don't think of kids like they're real people at all. Like we're stupid and can't understand stuff, or won't notice that they treat us different and talk over us, or that the rules they have for us are stupid. You talk to me like... well, not like I'm a grown-up, 'cause I ain't, but like we're on the same level. You give me choices and things. Like drinkin', instead of just telling me that I'm a kid and not allowed."

The corner of Harry's mouth lifted and he went back to his work with the cork. It came free with a satisfying pop. Harry put it in a decorative glass bowl he kept atop the counter, one that held many corks that came before it. "It would be in rather bad taste not to." Harry sat down and poured a few inches into each of their glasses, Eggsy's just a little less. "And I like it like this. I like it when you're open and confident and when you know that I will respect your wishes, within reason." Harry was inspecting Eggsy with that look, the one he'd used early on and often, the one that said he was wondering if there was something more to Eggsy's comments than Eggsy let on. 

Eggsy didn't rise to the bait, though another rush of guilt washed through him. He didn't like being inspected. Harry was the one doing all the suspicious things, after all. "I'd like it if we talked more. I mean, we do talk, and I like what we talk about, but some stuff is more important to talk about than, y'know, football or video games and stuff. I don't know a lot about other things, but I think we could talk about them anyways. Because you know about a lot of stuff, right?"

Harry's brows rose and he chuckled. "I know a little about a good variety of subjects, you might say, but I don't know if you could say I know about a lot of things. I suppose you'll just have to try me to find out." Harry curled his fork in the steaming noodles and took a bite. His gaze relaxed as he looked to Eggsy again. "What sort of things do you have in mind?"

Eggsy shrugged, taking a bite of noodles himself to get some time to think. "I dunno. I didn't have anythin' specific. I just feel like we don't talk about more serious things. Don't say talking about university counts, 'cause I don't think it does and I'm not ready to think about that yet," Eggsy warned. He picked up his wineglass and took a large swallow, in large part due to the spiciness of the dish.

"Alright," Harry conceded. His eyes swept across the table and then settled somewhere in the distance. Eggsy saw the moment Harry decided what he'd say. "I would like to do more than take you rock climbing on this vacation I'm proposing. Granted, rock climbing would be the icing on the cake, but...I would like to take you to see the world. Little by little. Not on business trips, just the two of us. I'd like to walk with you on the beaches of Italy. I'd like you to experience other languages, other people. And I'd like to be there when you do." When Harry looked at him again, Eggsy could see the warmth in his gaze wasn't feigned. 

Eggsy hadn't expected Harry's words to hit him so hard. To his embarrassment, he felt tears start to well up in his eyes before he could look down and keep his face straight. Lying was easier to do with strangers. If you didn't care about them, then it didn't matter what their opinion of you was. Eggsy cared about Harry very much, and so he fretted about the older man's opinion. It made guilt almost unbearable. "I-... I'd like to do that too. I never thought I'd get to travel unless I signed up with the forces like my dad, but I knew mum wouldn't forgive me if I did that. I don't want to go anywhere without you with me, too. It wouldn't be the same."

Harry reached across the table and squeezed Eggsy's arm. He was sure to know Eggsy had something on his mind by now, whether it was something specific or just general insecurity though, Harry probably couldn't guess. But Harry didn't press at it. He took his hand back and dug into the noodles, continuing on about the destinations he had in mind, from an island off Greece to the cliffs of Ireland, even going into some of the great destinations in Austria, many of which he'd never consider taking either of them without years worth of experience. 

Harry's voice rolled over Eggsy like a balm as he talked, tone smooth and light, his speech even and unhurried, open to allowing Eggsy to jump in whenever he so wished, but carrying on even if he didn't.

As Harry talked, Eggsy listened to the list of places grow. Harry knew all of these places from actually _being_ there, from the details he was supplying. That, or he knew friends who had been there. Ones that were close enough to have conveyed much of their experiences to Harry. Eggsy stopped paying strict attention at some point and began, instead, to consider how Harry had been to so many places.

Harry had wealth, but not obscene amounts. Or at least Eggsy guessed that was the case, as he didn't know for certain. He travelled a bit for business, but many of the places Harry talked about didn't seem like places a tailor would go, either to source materials or do custom work. Eggsy lifted his wine glass and drank as he thought, trying to buy some time. If Harry had travelled frequently for reasons other than work, perhaps he'd simply been bored due to the fact that he didn't have many people in his life. Or perhaps it was something deeper.

Eggsy inhaled suddenly and started coughing. A thought had occurred to him, and while it was too ridiculous to be true, Eggsy couldn't stop thinking about it. The concealed gun. Old network connections. Lots of money and frequent travel. Many clients who wanted fancy clothes, came at strange hours, and valued discreetness. When he recovered, Eggsy stared at Harry and began to fidget. "Um... can I ask you something? Please?"

Harry frowned. He'd stopped, looking briefly concerned before Eggsy's coughing fit subsided, but now he just looked puzzled. 

"Of course you can." Harry set his fork against the edge of his plate, politely waiting while Eggsy's eyes darted down to the table and back. Harry had relaxed into his talk and how he was inspecting Eggsy. Eggsy knew he was re-examining everything he'd just said followed by Eggsy's reactions, since Harry didn't seem to be catching on yet. 

"I... I'm not tryin' to be insulting, just so you know, but..." Eggsy felt put on the spot, pinned down by Harry's gaze, but Harry said he could ask. Harry had always valued his honesty and never yelled at him for anything he said. "Do you do work for the mafia, or something? Or one of them? With all the traveling to weird places and the weird hours, and the gun, and gettin' beat up, and-... I think people in the mafia are all supposed to wear suits and have a lot of money and be from old families."

Harry blinked. He also froze. And then something happened to his face. Something that looked odd before Eggsy realised it was a smile, one he was trying to smother, and then Harry was _chortling_. His shoulders shook and he hung his head, but it was no use. 

"No, Eggsy." Finally Harry met his eyes again and let the smile show through. It was warm, not condescending. It didn't look like Harry was taking it badly, just surprised. "You really think my job is that odd?"

"Not most of it, but some of it is pretty weird, don't you think?" Eggsy was turning red in embarrassment even though Harry wasn't laughing _at_ him. He was laughing at the _idea_. "Being a tailor isn't supposed to be dangerous, but I worry every time you go on a work trip. Even with you taking defence classes an' all. I guess the watch is a good idea, because then you have something sneaky if things go super wrong, but I can't tell if you have to go strange places or at strange times because rich people are all bonkers, or if it's because you've got people buying your stuff who need to be sneaky and pay extra for the sneakiness."

"My clients can...often be a bit 'bonkers' as you so elegantly put it," Harry chuckled, "but I do have a knack for getting into trouble I think." He considered over another bite of noodles. "I wouldn't entirely rule out the idea that some of my clients may not be in perfectly legitimate businesses themselves. It's something I've thought on before, and perhaps that does lend an extra element of danger. But if any are, none have divulged such information to me, nor would I expect them to. One does not talk in those terms of business and one especially does not ask where one's money is coming from when dealing with these sorts of people, legitimately wealthy or not." 

Harry rested his fork against the plate again. His eyes lingered on Eggsy. "How long have you been wondering?"

"Since the gun, I guess? I mean, I know veterans get a bit paranoid. No offense," Eggsy added, flashing Harry a sheepish grin. "I've seen enough of 'em around to know that. So getting scared a bit makes sense, but I've never seen you scared since I got here, and it's in a weird spot. And there's the watch and you being gone more at weird times, and you've been so _many_ places and I don't think many of those do fabric, so you're not buyin' stuff and can't be always on vacation neither. So that means being hired by strange, paranoid people? I dunno. You come back with bruises and stuff, and I was just watchin' some gangster movies the other day, and that happens to people the gangsters interact with sometimes, even if they're not in the mafia."

Harry laughed and shook his head. "Well, you've added a lot up there. I'm sorry to say it, but my life isn't quite that interesting." Harry sounded like he was chiding himself. His tone was directed inwardly and the half-smile on his face didn't falter, but Eggsy felt there was a sadness to it. One that he couldn't put his finger on. Some part of Harry had been surprised and then subdued at this line of questions. Maybe it was just that he thought Eggsy was having doubts about him.... Maybe it was that he really did think his life wasn't interesting enough for Eggsy's tastes. Eggsy did have a lot of ideas about what was cool and what wasn't, being almost ten and having grown up in a certain culture, one very different from Harry's. 

"I don't care if it's not interesting. I didn't want you to be with the mafia, anyways." Eggsy didn't know how to react to Harry's sadness. Harry was the strong one, the one who was always upbeat and optimistic. He consoled Eggsy, not the other way around. Eggsy couldn't even tell why Harry had a slightly melancholy air to him, but he could feel it just the same. "I don't understand why you have to go to work at such odd times, though, or travel so much. I don't like it because you're gone, but it's worse because I'm worried about you while I miss you. I didn't before, but I keep thinking about that one time you got mugged."

"I know, Eggsy...." Harry's eyes dropped to his fork, twirling idly in the noodles. "I don't like making this so hard on you, but I'm.... I'm afraid I've built my life up around this kind of work." His eyes raised again. It was unlike Harry to back down for long, to let himself succumb to whatever was bothering him. "Leaving it behind would be very difficult. But...it's not all bad. After all, I could have been mugged any day walking down the street. Even in the middle of London. You must know that?"

"In the fancy parts of town? I doubt it. Too many bobbies and security cameras and stuff. Nobody cares if poor people get robbed, in poor areas. Everyone cares if rich people get robbed, because they can pay enough to make people care." Eggsy's words were a bit slurred around the edges. The wine Harry had given him had loosened his tongue and given him an extra burst of bravery while stripping away his caution and tact. "I'm not askin' you to quit, Harry. You really like being a tailor. I can tell that much. Doesn't mean I ain't gonna worry about you and miss you when you're gone."

Harry did have the grace to look guilty at that. He reached across the table and laid his hand over Eggsy's arm, squeezing lightly. "I'm sorry for that. I really am. But you know that even if I were to stay here, I'd hardly limit myself to the neighbourhood. Think about where you met me." Harry winked. 

That was something that had to be conceded. Harry had visited Eggsy's stomping grounds with barely a second thought, or had seemed to at the time. Eggsy hadn't seen him go back there of course, not even to visit his old friend, but Harry made it sound like that wasn't so unusual for him. 

"I guess. We should hurry up with getting me signed up for defence classes, then. So I can protect you when you wander into _my_ kinda neighbourhoods." Eggsy straightened up and tried to look fearsome. Underneath the bravado was fear and dependency - not all that unusual for a small boy who'd gone through a lot and felt a great deal of insecurity. "Everyone'll be too busy looking at you to pay attention to me until I knock 'em out."

Harry snorted, but he was smiling again. Really smiling. 

"You might be onto something there, you know. No one would suspect someone your age would pose much of a threat." Harry twirled a good amount of noodles onto his fork and lifted them.   
"Wouldn't see you coming, either. You could slip into all sorts of places unnoticed, if they were the right sort of places...." Harry chewed in thought, the undertone of melancholy replaced with something more upbeat. "You could be very formidable indeed."

"I could be a _ninja_." Eggsy's imagination seized upon the idea, and his mood immediately lifted. Harry was happy again, and he was playing along with the idea that Eggsy could swoop in and save him. The boy didn't think it was that fantastical of an idea: he was small, and he was sneaky. "Maybe I'll do that someday, huh? Sneak up on the bad guys and rescue you. What kind of reward would I get?"

"Well I imagine I would be ever so grateful...," Harry's eyes darkened and he was unsuccessful at hiding his widening smile behind his wine glass. If he was truly trying. "that you could probably ask for whatever you wanted. Or maybe I'd sweep you off to a quiet corner and thank you in my own way." Harry set the glass down, perfectly composed but for the curl to his lip. He had a way with doing that, seeming completely at ease while turning a conversation down lewd paths. 

Eggsy failed to have even that tiny measure of a disguise to hide his thoughts. Between the wine, his youth, and how relaxed he felt around Harry, he openly stared with no small amount of longing. Harry as a tailor who worked for the mob was exciting in its own way, but Harry as the person demonstrating gratitude and affection to his saviour? Something else entirely. "What about... if I haven't saved you yet, but I promise to in the future?"

"Looking for your reward early?" Harry chided, but then considered. He really drew it out, too, pursing his lips and looking Eggsy over, swirling his wine glass before he took another sip. Harry was likely trying to guess what Eggsy had in mind just as much as he was doing it for show. "I suppose I might be amenable to that.... However, as my future knight in shining armour, you'd have to promise to be there when I well and truly need you. Whenever it's most important. Do you think you can do that?"

Eggsy tried to be solemn, but his smile was a bit too wide and he nodded quickly. "Uh huh, I can do that. You'll have to make sure I know where to find you, though. I can't do it if you're on a business trip and I'm back here mindin' the house. Ok?" 

The boy hadn't even done anything yet, and he was already swelling up with pride. He'd made a promise. He'd worried about Harry before, but now it was a done deal. Harry had done everything he could to help him when Dean was being terrible, and when he was cold and didn't have a proper coat, and a million other things. If he trained hard, someday he'd be the one to help Harry.

"Ok,” Harry replied with a smile. “It's a deal then. I'll amend that to whenever you are able."


	24. Chapter 24

Eggsy felt a shoe knock against his underneath the table. Harry had subdued his smile, but not fully. It morphed into something secret, something enticing. He looked like he would remember this moment as much as Eggsy would. "You still need to tell me, however, what your reward should be." 

Harry's shoe drew up against Eggsy's again, catching against his ankle and moving even higher. The first time Harry had done that, Eggsy had laughed. He'd thought it was a joke, something he'd played at with other kids before for a laugh when they couldn't sit still so their parents wouldn't notice. With Harry though, came an entirely different meaning. 

"Well... I get to be taller. You'll have to get down on your knees to be short enough, I think." Eggsy's tongue darted out and swiped across his lips while he thought. Thinking was difficult when Harry's shoe was slowly inching up his leg. "And you get to tell me how relieved you were to see me, and how awesome I was at kicking the bad guys' arses. And then you'll kiss me a lot to start, 'cause that's what's supposed to happen when you rescue someone."

Eggsy's eyes turned up towards the ceiling and his expression turned ponderous. "We'll need some rope, too. For you to hang onto. 'Cause the bad guys will have tied you up, maybe for ransom or something. I won't have time to untie you, so I'll just have to lead you to safety with the rope all the way back home."

"Very convenient for you." Harry's chin dipped and the toe of his shoe hooked around Eggsy's leg, massaging as it slid slowly down again. "Would you be a gentleman and untie me? Or would you leave me in such a state? I'd hardly be in any position to complain...and I'd surely be grateful anyhow...." Harry cocked his head. The intensity of his gaze didn't lessen at the suggestion. It was more like Harry was tempting him, maybe because Harry liked it when Eggsy got all worked up--as Eggsy knew he did--or maybe he was testing Eggsy's boundaries. Harry had never offered him something and then taken it back afterwards though. He'd tempted Eggsy far more than he'd ever tested him. 

"Hmmm... I'd try, but I wouldn't be able to get the knots untied." Eggsy was having fun with his hero fantasy, despite the fact that they were only talking about it. Being taller and more powerful than Harry was a rush to think about. So was the idea of having Harry tied up and leading him around by the rope, although Eggsy had no idea why. Maybe it was that it increased the sense of power the boy had, or that it meant that Harry couldn't stray too far away from him. "You don't mind, right? That I wouldn't be able to get you untied right away? I'd find scissors or somethin' later."

Harry pursed his lips in thought again. "If it was you, I don't think I'd mind. After all, you've won my trust, my devotion...what's a little bit of rope in the way?" The look on Harry's face made Eggsy suspect he knew exactly what the boy was thinking. Harry probably even knew about the squirming sensation it was causing deep in his belly. "We'd have to get home as quick as possible. With all the excitement, we might have even forgotten about it until then." Harry took a long sip of wine, breaking eye contact. Somehow, he kept a straight face when he added, "And by then, I don't know if I'd be able to contain myself." 

Eggsy wasn't able to keep himself from giggling. If he'd known how well Harry played along with pretend games, he would have started playing with Harry a long time ago. "Well, you'd better, because I'd be in charge. We'd come back and..." Eggsy paused and his brow furrowed. "Well, I'd guess you'd be taller than me coming back here, because you'd have to walk and I couldn't carry you. But then you'd sit on the couch, and I'd sit on your lap, and we'd share the same glass of wine. I'd have to help, maybe, because of your hands and all. You'd kiss my neck a lot, and I'd make you promise to not do dangerous stuff again... but I wouldn't mind, because then I could save you again."

"My hero." Affection read loud and clear in the crinkle of Harry's eyes. His foot slid down Eggsy's leg until he finally let go and pushed his plate back, finished. He glanced at Eggsy out of the corner of his eye while dabbing at his mouth with the napkin. He had that look in his eye, the one that said he was most definitely up to something. "What do you say we make a trip down to the garage and see if I still have any rope in that old box of tools?"

Eggsy nodded. He slid off of his chair and wobbled a bit as he stood. Harry hadn't been stingy with the wine, and while it was only one glass, it had been quite a lot of wine for a very small boy. Harry drew closer and Eggsy ended up leaning against him to aid his own balance, which ruined a bit of the fantasy of control. "Yeah, let's go look. Although you know... you don't have to if you don't want to, Harry. I don't know how to tie knots anyways."

"Then I'll have to give you a lesson, won't I?" 

Harry didn't look at all unsure about this. His eyes fairly twinkled in the light of the hall. He made Eggsy wait for him at the top of the stairs while he looked in the garage and came back with what looked like a very sturdy rope. The sight of Harry walking up the stairs, holding it looped in his hands, shadows falling onto his face in the dim stairwell.... He didn't much look like a damsel in distress just then. Even when he stopped there and looked up at Eggsy, several steps lower, making him only a few inches taller. 

"This is more like it then, isn't it?" Harry asked softly as he let out the slack in his hands, holding it out to show Eggsy. 

"Yeah. You sure you don't mind?" The Eggsy in the boy's fantasy had been described as bold and deftly skilled. Eggsy didn't look secure and confident. Shyness had crept back into the lines of his body, and his eyes were full of longing. They were almost the same height like this, but Harry was too far away for Eggsy to reach out and kiss him. Harry had more of an air of danger about him than Eggsy did, half hidden in shadows as he was. "We can stop whenever you want, I just... thought it'd be fun. To have you be the one needin' rescuing for once."

Harry took a step up and then another, but he sank to his knees as he went. "I'd very much like to do this." Harry leaned in at the same time he caught Eggsy's hands, letting him feel the rope. Harry's kiss was as light as the braid of the rope against his hands. It wasn't a tease. It was a taste of what was to come. 

Harry still looked more like the villain than the damsel when he pulled back, it was something about the little smile on his face, but he looped one length of the rope around his wrist and then the other, letting Eggsy watch as he did so several times both between his hands and over their sides. "Now, take hold of the ends there and bring them together, like you're going to tie a normal knot, but loop it like so...." With too much slack so that Harry could hold it, he showed Eggsy the knot before he held up his hands for Eggsy to try.

Getting it right proved more difficult than Eggsy had anticipated. He copied what he'd seen Harry do, but the rope failed to knot at all. Harry patiently talked him through it, and when Eggsy finally managed to tie the same knot himself, it was too loose to be any good. Only after a couple more tries did Eggsy get something that looked decent. 

Harry could easily slip out of it, but it was the appearance of the thing that counted. This was a game, after all.

"I'm sorry I didn't rescue you before those pirates tied you up," Eggsy said once the rope was secure and Harry was humouring him with a smile. "I can cut them off later, but right now we should get you back hom-... back to our secret base so you can recover. Can you walk, or do you need me to carry you?"

A dazed look came over Harry very suddenly and before Eggsy could ask what was wrong, he listed to the side until his shoulder hit the wall. Harry groaned and let his other shoulder drop, cradling his arm as best he could with his wrists tied. "They got my arm, I'm too hurt to move much." Harry looked up at Eggsy with large, pleading eyes, and somehow the shadow looked softer across his face before he leaned up, lifting himself just enough. "Not too much to do this though," Harry whispered before he kissed the corner of Eggsy's mouth and let the boy see a hint of a smile before his face contorted in pain and he faked another groan. 

Eggsy was _delighted_. Elation passed across his face before his chest puffed out and he gave Harry a considering look. "Hmm, that's no good. That's no good at all. I'll have to get your shirt off to take a closer look once we get back. Don't worry, I'll take care of you. Just come here."

Eggsy beckoned, and after a few moments he got Harry's tied arms looped around his diminutive shoulders. They proceeded slowly up the stairs like that, Eggsy pretending to carry his much bigger lover while Harry tried to keep his balance as he played along.

Harry had to bend down and lean into Eggsy to do it--Eggsy's arms wrapped around his middle weren't all that much support--but they ambled down the hall like that until Harry could be deposited onto the couch with another groan. He kicked the coffee table back and out of the way so that Eggsy could climb up beside him while Harry sprawled his legs out and let himself slump down. Harry let his head roll to the side and look up at Eggsy. He looked exhausted and when he spoke, it was soft and with just the right amount of hitch in his voice. "I'd never have made it out if it weren't for you." Before Eggsy could reply, Harry lifted a hand to Eggsy's cheek, affecting a look of awe and gratitude. 

Eggsy climbed atop Harry's lap and started to fuss over him, all under the pretence of checking for wounds and comforting Harry over his scare. Small fingers mussed the older man's hair, traced the lines in his face, and Eggsy laughed when a hint of stubble scraped across his palms. He got Harry's tie undone and his inspection began to shift lower; Eggsy insisted on looking very closely at every inch of skin that was exposed, exclaiming over imaginary bruises and cuts, and then kissing or caressing them all better. They only ran into a problem once the front row of buttons was all undone. Harry's hands were still tied, and so the shirt had to be left as it was.

"You mostly look ok, but I haven't looked everywhere yet."

"Best to be thorough." Harry's lips curled. "But first, let me thank you properly." With one swift movement, Harry looped his arms over Eggsy's head so that he could pull Eggsy against him. Pretending to ignore the pain, Harry arched up and kissed Eggsy. It was slow and sweet at first, like Harry believed he had all the time in the world now that he was 'safe'. "The way you looked, vanquishing those dastardly pirates..." Harry's smile curled and his eyes darkened, "I could hardly wait for you to take me home." Eggsy could see there was a hint of amusement in his eyes still, but the way Harry could make his voice so breathless...he could have been an actor. When Harry kissed him again, his tongue slipped into Eggsy's mouth. 

Eggsy startled and gave a short, muffled laugh before humming his agreement. He chased Harry's tongue back into his mouth. That was a mistake; Harry only had to suck lightly to trap him there, although he relented quickly. "I-... um, I couldn't wait to get you home neither. I got so mad, none of them should've touched you. You're _my_ boyfriend." Eggsy turned a suspicious eye toward Harry. "None of them tried to kiss you or nothin', did they? I'd understand why, if they did. But then I'd have to go fix every spot they touched."

"Oh no," Harry replied, "I made sure they knew who had that right and they didn't _dare_ touch me after that. Well, that and I'd have punched them in the face, but that's neither here nor there." Harry shrugged and looked a little sheepish before he got back into character. His tied hands grasped the front of Eggsy's shirt and pulled him in again. "Still couldn't have done it without you," Harry said as he pressed his mouth to Eggsy's, this time letting the kiss wander down to his neck and shoulder. Below him, Eggsy could feel Harry's interest stirring. 

"Well, that's good that I don't have to go beat them up again for touchin' you," Eggsy murmured. "Haven't finished making sure you're ok yet though. Not checked what's underneath your trousers." Eggsy tugged on the end of the rope binding Harry's hands and smiled at the way his wrists got pulled along. He shifted some of his weight onto his knees so he could slide back and forth across Harry's lap, knowing full well how much of a tease it was. "Just lay back and relax, right? Should only take me a minute to get the rest off. I'm not goin' anywhere."

Harry let out a soft breath. "You'll have to do it for me." His hips ground up against Eggsy in little thrusts, catching on Eggsy's movement, and Eggsy could feel Harry swelling even bigger beneath him. The length of muscle slotted in between his cheeks through both layers of their clothing and Harry let his upper body relax, going limp like he wasn't about to help. He could move his hips just fine though, and with that, Eggsy might be able to take off his trousers without too much trouble. 

"I don't mind. Doesn't look like you do neither." Eggsy slid off of Harry and smiled at the stifled groan he received. Harry had patience and knew how to draw things out, but he lamented the cooling space that Eggsy had vacated. The boy's fingers deftly undid Harry's belt and the buttons of his trousers, and with some cooperation they managed to get them down his hips. For a moment Harry was stuck in a ridiculous state of partial undress while Eggsy knelt down on the floor to untie and remove his shoes, and then the trousers finished their journey to the floor.

That left him in just half his shirt and his shorts, the black, fitted ones Eggsy always thought he looked good in. Right then they were tented at the front with obvious interest. 

"I think I might need your help with that as well," Harry breathed. It should not have been seductive. He should have looked fairly ridiculous with his hands bound and his hair tousled, slouched on the seat in his pants, but the look on Harry's face changed all that. He looked as though, were he not tied up, he'd very much like to simply grab Eggsy and take exactly what he wanted. 

Eggsy loved it, but he'd also experienced a bit of that already. He wanted to be the one taking what he wanted, and the only way he could do that was if they made it a game and Harry played along. They both knew he wasn't big enough or strong enough to do some of the things Harry had done to him.

The boy stroked his palm over the shaft just hidden beneath soft black fabric. An impish smile started to creep across his mouth, particularly as he felt the man harden and twitch underneath his hand and one spot on Harry's shorts started growing damp. "I dunno. I kinda like you like this."

"Do you, now?" Harry sank down a little farther, spreading himself out a little more for Eggsy. "You still haven't inspected all of me though. Did you know one of the most dangerous areas a person can receive a wound is along the vein that runs between the juncture of groin and thigh? I could be bleeding out and you'd never know it." Harry shifted his hips suggestively, smile widening. "Won't you save me one last time?"

"You don't feel like you're bleeding. _Leakin'_ , maybe," Eggsy laughed. Harry's suggestion that Eggsy save him gave the boy another tempting idea, though. He leaned forward, trying in vain to enjoy the view and watch Harry's reactions at the same time. "I think I know how to fix that, though. Do you want me to fix it for you?"

Harry raised an amused brow. "Whatever you have in mind, if it helps...." He shifted his hips again, feeling Eggsy's hand rub against the material. 

At this point, Harry would have had his hands on Eggsy long ago. He'd have moved Eggsy where he'd wanted, done what he wanted. Harry was a considerate lover, and if Eggsy wanted to move where he liked, Harry let him, but there was no question that Harry was the one who led their encounters. Unless it was on the rare occasion that Eggsy surprised him.

The tips of Eggsy's fingers slipped behind Harry's waistband, and with some coordination Harry's pants joined his trousers on the floor. Eggsy took a moment to appreciate the view, slowly gaining a look of concentration. The difference in sizes between them made a number of things difficult, and Eggsy wanted to impress Harry.

"Turn and lie down across the couch, alright?" Standing was too awkward, and kneeling made the angle wrong. Kneeling would have gone against the fantasy Eggsy was spinning, besides, and so he waited for Harry to scoot over until he was draped lengthwise across the couch before climbing back atop his legs. Eggsy's fingers wrapped around the length of Harry's cock and he lowered his head.

Harry let out a sigh as Eggsy's mouth closed over the tip. Eggsy felt the muscles in his legs bunch, but Harry didn't move even if he was tempted to. "That's it," Harry whispered. "Thank youthankyouthankyou...." He hadn't forgotten the charade, not even with Eggsy's mouth halfway down his cock, hands gripping over the base and massaging where he couldn't reach. If Harry was tempted to toss the act aside, he didn't show it. Hints of reality slipped through, but Harry kept going back to their little fiction. His bound hands wound in Eggsy's hair, just holding on and letting Eggsy do what he wanted. 

Eggsy couldn't go very deep. Not for lack of trying, but he was forced to back off with a coughing fit when he tried to mimic what Harry had done to him before. Eggsy was disappointed but knew that there was nothing for it; his jaw already ached as it was. What was effortless for Harry took quite a bit of concentration for Eggsy to do right.

The bitterness of precum coated the boy's tongue. Eggsy didn't like it at first, but the longer he sucked at Harry, the better it seemed to get. The taste disappeared, and Eggsy was left only with a familiar scent of musk.

Harry was squirming under him in no time at all, never enough to interrupt Eggsy, just enough to release some tension. The way he moaned Eggsy's name now.... It was a little different than he usually did. He sounded... _needy_. Harry sounded breathless and with the way he was restraining himself, he almost sounded like he really was at Eggsy's mercy, willing to give whatever Eggsy wanted, wanting Eggsy to take more. How Harry could pitch all that in one little word.... He shouldn't have been so good at it, but he was.

Eggsy didn't know what was real and what was faked. The two started to blend together, as things sometimes did when playing games. Eggsy forgot, to a certain degree, that Harry needed to play along for this to happen. He _felt_ like he was in control. Eggsy didn't resent Harry being in control all the other times they had sex, but experiencing a reversal was intoxicating. The more breathless sounds of pleasure reached his ears, the more enthusiastic and confident Eggsy became. He wanted to see what he could do to Harry.

When Harry started whimpering was when Eggsy knew he really had him. Harry may have been playing some of it, keeping himself restrained, but Eggsy knew that sound and he knew if he kept at it he could get Harry off like that. Even Harry's long fingers in his hair were loose, never guiding, just holding on. If Eggsy raised his head, Harry would let them fall. 

The most unusual thing now was perhaps that Eggsy was the only one still clothed. That had never happened before. Many times Harry had stripped Eggsy down without bothering to undress himself, or sometimes he got only partially undressed before the hurry was too much and he didn't care any longer. It was something Harry might have even sort of liked when it happened. 

Eggsy increased his efforts. Being clothed both enhanced and detracted from the experience. He felt more powerful than Harry, for once, but for the boy, the loss of skin-to-skin contact wasn't worth it. Never mind that Harry was quivering under his hands and filling his mouth; Eggsy liked it when they were pressed against one another.

The boy tilted his head up just a little. He wanted to see what he did to Harry, as well as hear and feel it. Watching Harry climax was something he never tired of doing.

Harry pressed the back of his head into the cushion and arched. His mouth fell open and the whimpers stopped, but the way he was gasping was familiar with short, hard bursts of air. Eggsy could see the muscles in his neck tighten as Harry drew close. His spine arched. Harry's hands clenched. Eggsy kept going, but for the briefest minute Harry held on tight before he came. 

Harry's hands relaxed the moment Eggsy's mouth filled with his release. His gasps lengthened and his body slumped, emphasizing just how tight Harry had been wound for the past several minutes. His hands stroked through Eggsy's hair and Harry turned his head, looking down the length of his body to catch Eggsy's eye. Harry looked blissed out, but happy. His thumb brushed against the corner of Eggsy's mouth where his lips were reddened. 

"Thank you," Harry said breathlessly, and Eggsy knew he hadn't forgotten the role. 

Eggsy had swallowed reflexively and he wasn't quite able to keep himself from pulling a face. The boy had gotten used to many things, but the taste and texture of semen was something he didn't think he'd ever fully adjust to. "You're welcome. Let's see if... if we can get you out of that rope, yeah?" 

Eggsy didn't know how to continue the game after that. He fiddled with the knots near Harry's wrists and started to undo them, but he kept glancing up to get another look at Harry. Harry was gorgeous, relaxed and happy and with all the careful professional lines smudged, dishevelled, and undressed to reveal the man underneath. Eggsy's throat tightened with emotion and he dropped down to hug the older man around his middle. "...love, you, Harry. Y'know that, right?"

Very slowly, the happy warmth on Harry's face changed as Eggsy's sincerity sank in. Eggsy couldn't describe the look at first, but it gradually became apparent that it was something akin to awe. He had to turn his head up to see it, but even at the odd angle, he was sure he wasn't reading Harry wrong. 

Harry slipped free of the rest of the rope and let his hands fall to Eggsy's back, then cradled his head. It didn't look quite like Harry had known. Or expected him to say it, because Harry must have known. Harry was so good at reading people and Harry knew Eggsy better than anyone these days. Still, that didn't seem to lessen the impact. 

"Eggsy....I love you, too," Harry said, quietly. "I've loved you...for a long time."

Eggsy warmed from the inside out. Happiness filled him until his skin nearly glowed, mirrored in his smile. Everything was working out. Harry hadn't been angry with him for his speculation about the mafia, or for being curious and asking questions. Harry had played along with his games, and he'd been able to get Harry off all by himself. Hearing that Harry had loved him for a long time made things even better. "Thanks for playin' with me. I know you like bein' in charge of things, but... that was nice."

"Oh, I haven't finished thanking you yet." Harry's tone suddenly shifted into something playful. His gaze turned lecherous. "We'll have to get you out of these clothes first though." Harry's finger pulled at the collar of Eggsy's shirt. He bent and kissed Eggsy, lingering on his mouth. Harry was still filled with endorphins and it showed. "What do you say I return the favour, hm?" Shifting up, Harry caught Eggsy around the middle and worked a hand under his shirt, splaying over the small of his back. 

Eggsy squirmed and dissolved into giggles. He didn't object when Harry tugged the edges of his shirt upward, or when fingers dipped underneath the waistband of his trousers to tease. Being the focus of Harry's attention always felt good, but most especially when Eggsy knew that something pleasurable was going to come from it. "Maybe we should see how long it takes you to get tired. Like that one time. I think you cheated before."

"I cheated?" Harry's mouth fell open. "How did I cheat?" The astonished look vanished a second later as Harry undid Eggsy's trousers and pulled them down his hips, pants and all. He had to sit up and lay Eggsy down on the couch underneath him to do so, and Harry got a particularly devilish glint in his eye while he did it. His mouth descended to Eggsy's neck, kissing down to his collar bone and tasting the skin there. Harry never really got over his desire to have his mouth on Eggsy, anywhere he could put it. 

"I dunno, but you _had_ to have done. I dunno how you could have won otherwise, because I got all tired and you seemed just fine. Maybe 'cause you weren't getting off too." Eggsy turned his head and arched to give Harry better access. He loved Harry's mouth on him and would have been content to let Harry indulge in that particular sort of pleasure every day. "You don't seem to get tired much at all, in fact, unless you've had a really rough time at work. I didn't think tailoring would wear you out quicker than I can."

"With my customers, you'd be surprised," Harry mumbled, moving lower. His eyes flashed up to Eggsy, fairly glittering in the light. "Ask me how sore my jaw is tomorrow." With a grin, he ducked his head and began licking a trail down to Eggsy's stirring cock, teasing around it and watching Eggsy's impatience mount before Harry took it into his mouth. 

Eggsy would never get used to this. His jaw dropped every time at the sensation. Harry's mouth was warm, wet, and he gave just the right amount of pressure and suction. Eggsy held on and let himself drown in all of it, shivering every time Harry's tongue moved. Strong hands held the boy in place and he felt... safe. Loved.

Harry was the best thing in Eggsy's life, and Eggsy could no longer imagine life without him.

Harry had Eggsy melting in his hands and the boy's voice echoing off the walls, lost to that notion, lost in that moment. Under Harry's hands, he became an instrument, one that Harry played with devotion, with gentleness and ferocity alike, taking Eggsy to the edge of pleasure like a heady drug. With Harry atop him, Eggsy was flying. In this moment, in those that came before it, Harry was giving him so much. And there was nowhere else Harry would rather be. 

Minutes later, Eggsy had gone breathless and limp, all spent. He'd tugged Harry up until the older man curled around him, big spoon nestled protectively around its smaller companion. Safety and warmth were two things Eggsy heavily associated with Harry, and he loved that Harry was never shy about expressing his affection in a physical way. "...that was a pretty good thank you."

Harry hummed contentedly behind him and kissed Eggsy's shoulder. Harry pulled a blanket from the back of the couch down around them and tucked Eggsy into it, content just to lay like that for now. "I'm glad you thought so." 

The only sounds after that was the quiet tick of the grandfather clock in the corner and Harry's low breathing. Eggsy felt more kisses over the back of his neck, but gradually they tapered off as Harry settled. "Going to keep you, always, just like this...," Harry whispered, more asleep than awake. 

Eggsy liked that thought. Part of him had wondered if Harry would ever grow tired of him, or be impatient because he was older and knew some things Eggsy didn't. Neither seemed to be in danger of happening. "Good. I want you to." The tick of the clock was soothing and faintly hypnotising. Minutes passed before Eggsy spoke again. "Harry? Will we be able to talk about stuff and kiss in public and all that when I'm older? Or will people think it's weird 'cause you adopted me and all?"

Unfortunately for Eggsy, no response came but a light snore. 

Harry's arms were still wrapped comfortably around him. He could even feel the warmth of Harry's breath on the back of his neck and the tickle of Harry's nose pressed up against his hair. He must have been very relaxed. Or maybe Harry was tired after he came home from work that day, too. Whatever it was, Eggsy would have to wait to get his answer.

* * *

It could have been Eggsy's imagination, but over the next few weeks, Harry seemed to watch him and engage with him more closely. Rather than give Eggsy access to Harry's computer, the older man went out and bought Eggsy his own for his birthday. Eggsy began to get homework of sorts to keep him occupied - nothing like school drudgery, but Harry wanted to hear about what he'd been up to each day or see what Eggsy had learned about some topics Harry had told him to explore online or in the encyclopaedia set.

The sudden influx of preoccupying tasks roused Eggsy’s feelings of suspicion again. It could very well be that Harry was trying to keep him from being bored over a summer with limited access to his school friends or skate parks. Or it could have been that Harry didn't want Eggsy exploring Harry's things and asking questions.

On the days when Harry was gone for several in a row, he made sure to give Eggsy enough cash to visit his friends if he wanted to, and then some extra. That was certainly encouraging since Eggsy's seeing them had gone from an everyday occurrence to only a couple times a week. It made sense that Harry would worry about him being lonely all by himself in the house...but there was the _possibility_ that Harry was now uncomfortable with Eggsy looking through things. 

What things, Eggsy had no idea besides the computer. If indeed Harry did feel that way, which he'd never admitted to. Harry's work schedule was as busy as ever, and there was no question that Harry knew how it made Eggsy feel and tried to make up for it. 

It was one such weekend that Harry was away that Eggsy's curiosity began to eat away at him again. 

A cursory look through bookshelves and several drawers surfaced nothing. Boring papers, conventional phone numbers, junk mail, receipts, all the detritus one would expect in a household and none of it pointing towards anything unusual or new. Some drawers were locked, particularly in Harry's office. Eggsy didn't know what to make of that, but that didn't seem very unusual either.

Eggsy wandered into Harry's closet and found a locked fireproof safe tucked into one corner. He hadn't stumbled across any keys in his search, so the hope of gaining a peek inside was slim indeed. Instead, the boy's gaze wandered to the clothing hung around him. He'd been living with Harry for so long that he'd seen more of the outfits there, excepting some of the more formal black-tie ones. Temptation became a little too much, and Eggsy began shucking out of his clothes and wandered to his bedroom to find his own suit that Harry had bought for him.

Putting everything on by himself took some doing, but once it was done, he snuck back into Harry's closet and borrowed one of Harry's ties and a pair of too-large dress shoes. He stepped back out into the bedroom and, for good measure, went to the drawer in the dresser where he knew Harry kept a pair of glasses that either had to be a spare set or an older prescription he no longer used. He slipped into the shoes and looped the tie around his neck, then went to stand in front of the body-length mirror. To Eggsy's surprise, the glasses didn't distort his vision when he put them on. They weren't prescription at all.

That was...odd, to say the least. Harry wore them in the house sometimes, so he didn't think they could be just for show. Even though Harry did look really good in them. Eggsy supposed he hadn't seen Harry use them for reading much. He didn't know when people started needing reading glasses, but he figured Harry would be a bit young for that still. 

Odd as it was, it worked out for him because he could still see himself clearly in the mirror with them on. They were big on him, but if he pushed them tighter, the glasses held. Practical or not, they certainly weren't flimsy. With his suit and Harry's tie and shoes and those glasses, Eggsy could turn this way and that in front of the mirror, lift his head with confidence, put on a little smile, and imagine what he'd look like when he was taller, standing shoulder to shoulder with Harry. 

Eggsy tried to mimic ways that he'd seen Harry stand or move. He always had an air of confidence about him that made Eggsy more than a little envious. He didn't think Harry had ever really been told bad things about himself or had to deal with bullies. If he had, Eggsy couldn't see any signs of it. Harry moved through the world like he owned it and was simply too gracious to draw overmuch attention to the fact.

Harry's shoes proved too large for Eggsy to handle. He tripped while trying to strike a pose and stumbled into the bedroom mirror. He heard the shoes click together while he tried to regain his footing and, suddenly worried that he'd managed to scuff them, Eggsy glanced down.

A knife glittered just beyond the toe of one shoe. A knife with a strangely discoloured edge, greenish instead of the pure silver of polished steel.

Eggsy's whole body went cold. He stared, frozen, seeing the knife in front of him and waiting for his brain to catch up and make sense of it. He hadn't stepped on it. It hadn't fallen on the floor from anywhere else. It was there sticking out of his--Harry's--shoe like it had every right to be and Eggsy just didn't understand, but it sent a shiver up his spine all the same. _Why was there a knife sticking out of Harry's shoe?_

Harry hadn't told him about this. Even after the watch, Harry hadn't said anything. He'd promised Eggsy he would tell him if there was anything else in the house like that, and Harry hadn't told him about this. 

When Eggsy kicked the shoe off and bent down to look, the glasses slipped off his face and fell onto the carpet. 

Eggsy grabbed them without thinking, more concerned with the knife than anything else. He saw a flicker in the corner of his vision and reflexively dropped the glasses again, afraid that some other object was going to turn into a danger without him being prepared.

The glasses landed back on the floor. One side looked perfectly normal, while the other had a faint blue glow to them - not enough to light up the carpet, but enough that Eggsy could tell that something was different. The boy sat on the floor a good distance from the knife-bearing shoe, removed and threw the other one for good measure, and turned his attention to the glasses.

The outside looked like regular glass, but the inside looked like some sort of screen. Eggsy knew he must have grabbed something to turn it on, but he couldn't figure out what. Eggsy's stomach tightened even further.

Two faint lines of text hovered over the far right corner: "Record" and "Library". 

He wouldn't have been able to see it if he hadn't held the glasses up to his face. He took them off again and ran his fingers over the frames, but he couldn't figure out what he'd done. There was nothing on the sides or the top, but then when Eggsy felt along the bottom, right where someone might hold their glasses to adjust them, he found the slightest indentation of a button. 

Wary, Eggsy let his finger run over it, deciding what to do. He held it away from his face before he pressed the button, just to see what would happen. "Record" highlighted. Eggsy pressed again and the text and glow of the screen faded. For a second it looked like he'd turned them off before he noticed a faint red light blinking in the same corner. When Eggsy pressed the button again, the menu returned. 

_Harry's glasses recorded whatever he was looking at._ The thought sunk into Eggsy until he felt like he'd been submerged in ice water. Eggsy tried to remember when Harry put his glasses down and when he didn't, but all of his memories blurred. Harry had worn his glasses more often than not, and Eggsy had assumed that was because he needed them to see.

See him. See what he was doing. A spike of anxiety hit him and he felt along the edge of the glasses for the button, searching for a way to get access to the library listed in the digital menu. He had to know. He had to see it.

Another two presses and it worked. "Library" highlighted before half a dozen thumbnails, each with a little moving preview, popped up in a list on the screen. Eggsy saw himself in only two of them, once as he was talking animatedly at Harry who was standing somewhere between the hall and the living room. Eggsy remembered what he was wearing from just a few days ago and recognised the moment; Harry had just come home from work. Another was of them walking down the street together, Harry glancing down at Eggsy as they moved. That had been them on their way to a film a week ago. 

The others Eggsy didn't recognise from the previews. Some were dark. Some were of men in suits with faces Eggsy didn't know. One, however, Eggsy did recognise after it played long enough for him to catch sight of the front door to Harry's shop. He found he could scroll through and select them by clicking the button, and Eggsy selected that one. It filled both screens after that, like some kind of virtual reality game of Harry going into work. 

Tentatively, Eggsy put the glasses back on to see Harry greeting the man Eggsy knew as Dagonet and heading back to one of the dressing rooms. It was strange...seeing the shop from Harry's perspective so high up, but for Harry this looked like life as usual. He moved without hesitation, closing the door behind him and moving up to the mirror. 

For a second Eggsy thought it was the same mirror that he'd...well, the same mirror that he'd held onto when Harry brought him there last Christmas, but it wasn't. He could see Harry's reflection now. It looked like Harry was looking at himself, maybe making sure he was presentable for work or something, but then he lifted a hand to the mirror and...something happened. 

A light glowed beneath Harry's hand. Something flashed, and then the walls were moving upwards. Harry, however, stood perfectly still until the light under his hand faded, and it was only when he turned around, losing sight of himself in the mirror, that Eggsy realised the walls weren't moving upwards, Harry and the mirror were sinking _downwards_. 

The other clips proved that these recordings weren't contrived. They all were videos of real things that had happened.

Harry had lied to him. He hadn't told Eggsy about other dangerous objects in the house, even after he'd promised. The gun, the watch, the knife in his shoe, all of it - those weren't the results of a veteran's paranoia. Maybe Harry really was a tailor, but he also had to be something else. Whatever it was, it was hidden somewhere in the Kingsman tailor shop, or down underneath it. Dagonet had to be in on it in order for him to direct Harry to the dressing room and not think it was weird when he didn't come out for a long time, or disappeared completely.

Landon had to be in on it too. Eggsy blinked and his stomach tied itself into knots. Everyone Harry knew from work had to be in on it, which meant they all knew Harry was lying to him.

Harry would just lie to him again if Eggsy asked about it. The only hope for answers was to try to follow Harry to his work. Eggsy would have to see what was going on for himself, and if he caught Harry while he was there, Harry wouldn't be able to deny anything any longer.

Eggsy sat for a long time with the glasses clutched in his hand, breathing hard and trying to fight the rising dread in his chest down as he went through the videos again, trying to pick out details, trying to understand what Harry was doing in them. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't figure out who the other men were. Harry was having drinks in a fancy restaurant in one of them, his companions--men about Harry's age and wealthy by the looks of them--laughing and talking. It went on for a long time and Eggsy had to fast forward through much of it, but all they did at the end was exchange cards and pay the bill. The recording stopped by the time Harry was back on the street. Another was of him walking down a long corridor and talking to another man dressed much the same as Harry was. Eggsy could only guess they were in some kind of big manor, by the traditional style and for how long they were walking. 

The videos were glimpses into moments Eggsy couldn't put into context. But combined with the fact that Harry was making these recordings, the fact that he had all these...secret weapons, and the fact that there was most definitely something else beneath the Kingsman shop, all of it added up to a conclusion Eggsy couldn't define yet, but knew wasn't going to be good. 

Harry said he'd be gone for another day yet, and that gave Eggsy some time. 

Eggsy spent the rest of the day planning and reviewing the footage in Harry's glasses. He had to guess the layout of the Kingsman shop based on what he remembered and what he could see from the recording. Eggsy knew that he couldn't assume that every mirror did what the one in the recording did; he'd have to sneak into that specific dressing room while avoiding being spotted by Dagonet.

Luckily, years of passing unnoticed while boosting merchandise in shops were going to come in handy. Eggsy picked through his wardrobe until he found a combination that wouldn't attract much attention - not rich enough to make him a target, not street enough to label him as out of place, and not bright enough to draw the eye. Harry had given him enough cash that transportation wasn't going to be an issue.

Eggsy woke bright and early the next day and started his trek through public transport towards Piccadilly Circus station.

Walking down Savile Row by himself was...weird, but he looked like he fit in the area just enough that he didn't have to worry about anybody calling the cops on him running around without supervision. Most people paid him no attention anyhow, probably assumed his parents weren't far away. 

Scoping the shop from across the street was fairly easy to do. It was already open and probably hadn't been for very long. If Eggsy went in too early, he'd be noticed right away. He needed another customer to distract the shopkeeper much like his mates used to do for him, so he sat himself at a cafe table out of the way and watched the door, waiting. 

Finally, after roughly twenty minutes, a young couple stopped at the window and then went inside.   
Eggsy moved while he had the chance, crossing the street quickly and glancing in the window much the same way the couple did before him, like he was just looking at the suits on display. Behind them though, he could see the old shopkeeper had engaged the couple in conversation. It was another minute before he left the counter to lead them towards a table, presumably with swatches of cloth or something Eggsy didn't care about. For a minute or two, he might just be able to slip inside without being noticed. He just had to be careful not to hit the bell with the door. 

Eggsy held his breath and tried to slow his racing pulse. If he messed up now, it could mean that Dagonet watched for him the rest of the day, or even outright recognized him and caught him. The boy waited until the three adults moved through the shop and their field of vision was limited, then delicately opened the door.

He squeezed through a narrow little gap and eased it shut behind him. The bell failed to ring. Eggsy dropped down low so his movements wouldn't accidentally catch someone's eye and began sneaking towards the back. Dagonet and his two customers were making enough noise that Eggsy had no problem keeping track of where they were without seeing them. Where they might be _looking_ at any given moment was another issue.

Eggsy made it behind the desk and peered around the edge of it. All three adults were still distracted, now flipping intently through books of fabric swatches while Dagonet explained the merits of each type. The boy wasn't going to get a better window of opportunity, so he took it, scurrying across the floor and turning the dressing room handle. Eggsy hadn't been able to account for whether the room had been locked or had a squeaky hinge, but no matter: the door swung forward silently and effortlessly. Eggsy was in.

Partially in, at any rate. He shut the door behind himself and forced himself to walk instead of running to the mirror. He had to jump in order to hit the place he had seen Harry touch in the recording.

Absolutely nothing happened.

Quickly and quietly he locked the door behind him and glanced around the room for somewhere he could hide if someone came in to use it. Which...hopefully wouldn't happen, considering what he now knew about the room, but just in case. He spotted a decorative blanket and a chest in one corner, probably to keep supplies or something, and went to it. Sure enough, he found a tray with scissors and measuring tape, and pens and papers of all sorts. Eggsy lifted the tray out and set it on a table nearby, hoping that if he did have to hide there, the shopkeeper would think whoever used it last simply hadn't put it away properly. 

Once his backup plan was in place, Eggsy inspected the mirror. And the floor. He couldn't see anything out of place. He even got really close up and tried to see through, thinking maybe it was a two way mirror, but it didn't look like it was. When he looked at the walls, they looked perfectly solid and attached to the ground. Trying to remember where Harry had placed his hand in the video, Eggsy stepped up onto a stool and reached up to lay his hand over the glass. 

Nothing happened. 

Eggsy doubted that the videos were fake, which meant that there was a trick to getting the room to work. Harry hadn't done anything special in the video beyond putting his hand on the glass, so Eggsy didn't think he was missing a hidden button or lever. The only other explanation he could think of was that the switch only worked for certain people. None of Harry's gadgets had worked that way, but if this was a hidden entrance, it made sense that there might be extra security. A shop customer could accidentally lean against the mirror and find the secret if it was too simple to activate.

All of which meant that Eggsy was out of luck until someone else used the room. Eggsy didn't even know how many people Harry worked with, or how many might use the mirror in a given day. The only way he would find out would be to gamble and hide in the room, hoping that someone came by and activated the mirror relatively soon.

Eggsy heaved a sigh and walked back to the chest. It was going to be a long day.

After climbing in and curling up, he found that it wasn't too tight for him to lay there comfortably. With the blanket spread out on top of him, he might even not be noticed right away if someone had to put the supplies back. 

Eggsy waited there for what felt like a very, very long time. He was glad, after a while, that he'd only had a small glass of juice that morning with his snack, otherwise waiting for that long might have proven to be more difficult than he'd expected. He thought maybe he'd fall asleep, but it was no use. He was far too tense. 

After the third time he'd turned onto his other side, he heard it. Footsteps coming towards his door. 

Eggsy didn't dare peek out of the chest to see what was happening. His breathing turned shallow and quiet as he listened to someone step into the room, followed by the click of the door. Only one set of footsteps, not two. Eggsy thought that must bode well, because a customer would have been accompanied by a clerk to take their measurements. With one, the room's occupant was more likely to be an employee.

Seconds that felt like minutes passed. To Eggsy, it took forever to hear the room's visitor step further in, turn, and walk towards one wall. Eggsy felt a thrill of victory as, after a moment, he felt his stomach flutter just as it did in a fast lift.

They were going down.

This of course caused his stomach to flutter even more. He couldn't stop himself from taking in more air to calm down, but he tried to do it as quietly as possible. 

They descended for what felt like minutes and the other occupant of the room barely moved. When at last they stopped, Eggsy heard a soft swish and then the footsteps started off again, quickly getting fainter. 

It was now or never. Eggsy knew that if this were a normal lift, he would have only seconds to hold the door. First, he shifted and peeked out from the lid in the chest. The room was empty, but what he thought was the sound of a door must have simply been the lift coming to a smooth halt since one side of the room was now completely open beneath an archway in the brickwork. 

Eggsy caught sight of the man who'd been in the tunnel stepping into some kind of tube between massive iron walls on the other side of a platform. He sat down, and Eggsy thought he recognised him as one of the men Harry had introduced Eggsy to over Christmas--James, if he remembered right. Not a moment later, however, his face was obscured by a door shutting over the tube behind those iron walls, sealing the man inside before the tube shot off. 

Eggsy scrambled to get out before the lift decided to return the way it came. With the man gone, Eggsy didn't have to worry about being seen. He climbed free of the chest and dashed across the dressing room floor until he was in the adjoining platform. When he glanced behind him, the dressing room was rising into the ceiling, leaving empty space and lift machinery behind.

The boy wandered farther along the platform. It looked, more or less, like one of the London Underground stations, except more antique apart from the giant curved iron - what the Underground might have looked like a few decades earlier, perhaps. Eggsy listened for the sound of an approaching tube, then carefully leaned out and looked both ways down the tunnel. Darkness met his eyes in both directions. Aside from a couple of waiting benches, there was nothing else on the platform but a panel that held what looked like a call button.

Eggsy felt his heart lodge in his throat as he pressed it.

At first nothing happened. He supposed that was a good sign. 

A couple seconds later, he heard a faint sound coming from the end of the tunnel. 

Eggsy stepped back and out of the way, just in case it wasn't what he expected, but sure enough a second tube slid smoothly to a halt in the very same spot the first one had been. The same rounded, sliding set of glass and iron doors lifted to reveal a small interior of four cushioned seats. 

There was no going back now. The lift wasn't coming back down any time soon and even if it did, Eggsy didn't have anywhere to hide on the platform. The only way ahead was this tube, and so, with his heart beating wildly in his chest, Eggsy stepped inside. 

He took a seat, looking this way and that for controls or signs of where the tube might lead. After he'd been seated for a few seconds, the door closed without Eggsy needing to do anything. The car jerked into motion, speeding up until Eggsy felt like he was sitting in a race car. The speed must have been incredible, and minutes ticked by without the car slowing down.

Wherever it went, it was quite a ways out of London. For a moment Eggsy peered through the windows in worry, taken by the thought that the car might be going underwater. If it was, he couldn't see it. Nothing was visible but unbroken darkness.

However far he was going, it took a long time. 

He couldn't relax. The seats were comfortable for such a small space, but the silence of the tube almost made it worse. Eggsy had spent so much time waiting in fear and suspense already that he was starting to feel fatigued. Still, his body wouldn't let him relax. 

Finally, before Eggsy saw anything out the windows, he felt the tube begin to slow. There was nowhere to hide. Wherever he ended up, he was just going to have to step out, find somewhere to hide, and hope for the best. 

He was gripping the armrests with white knuckles by the time the tube slid to a stop and the doors opened to reveal...some kind of industrial office, it looked like. The space was large, with desks and monitors against the walls and a big window on the opposite side, and fortunately no people. 

Eggsy crept out of the tube. He was trying to listen for footsteps but his heart was pounding too loudly in his ears for him to hear much of anything. No one was shouting and running towards him, at least, so if there were cameras like Eggsy suspected, no one had caught sight of him yet.

The boy walked up to the huge glass panels and peered through. A massive space spread out far below him, absolutely filled with machines. Cars and vans in multiple types and colours, aeroplanes, even what looked like a couple of speedboats sitting on elevated platforms and undergoing maintenance. Here and there, people walked among the vehicles.

It was _massive_. Eggsy's eyes widened when he spotted not only a military sized helicopter, but what looked like an assortment of fighter jets in the distance. He could feel his heart in his throat by then. In any other situation this would have been a dream, but right now it told him one thing: whatever Harry was involved in, it was much bigger than he'd thought. 

He was just stepping back from the window when he heard something slam behind him. 

Whirling, Eggsy saw that it was a door. He heard a voice shout " _Stop!_ Step away from the window," before he fully registered what was happening. On both sides of the room, men barrelled through the doors, handguns drawn and aimed at him. 

_Guns_. Eggsy had always thought that if he was confronted with danger that he'd be able to react just like his heroes in the movies. Just like when Dean had threatened him, Eggsy was swallowed by fear. He couldn't make his feet move. The men with guns seemed to be growing taller, and it was only once his knees hit the ground that Eggsy realized his legs had given out. The guards kept shouting, but it didn't make sense, and Eggsy clapped his hands over his ears.

One question cut through the chorus of voices and the crowd of polished shoes and glinting gunmetal: " _Who are you?_ "

The question repeated, but Eggsy's throat had closed. It sounded like a jumble of consonants and vowels more than it sounded like words. Eggsy was shaking so hard he couldn't move his hands. 

The men made a half circle around him, weapons drawn. He could no more read the looks on their faces than he could respond, but finally, _finally_ another voice shouted over the raucous of their questions. 

"For God's sake, lower your weapons. Or do you really think a ten year old is a deadly threat?" 

Landon pushed through from the back of the crowd, bright-eyed with fury. He looked much the same as Eggsy had seen him before, in a jumper and slacks, but he didn't hesitate to turn and bark orders at men who looked like they belonged on the Prime Minister's security detail. "This is Hart's ward. I'm sure he'll be very interested in hearing why you decided to traumatize his boy because your people couldn't keep an eye on the shopfront _or_ transport until he was dumped at our very doorstep."

One of the security men cleared his throat, but when he looked at Landon, there was a nervous set to his shoulders. "Protocol says to neutralize all intruders and-"

"He's plenty neutralized. Neutralized enough that he's quivering on the floor in speechless terror." Landon glared at the guard. "You're excused. I'll be taking him into custody. We're already acquainted, and the damage is done."

The guns lowered. Whatever their thoughts were on Eggsy's presence, none of them were keen to disobey, nor point their weapons anywhere near Landon when he was in the way. It did nothing to relieve Eggsy's cold blooded terror, even when their stances relaxed. He heard someone mumble something terse about someone named Galahad. 

"We'll have to inform Arthur," one of the men said, holstering his weapon behind his back as Eggsy watched, still frozen on the floor while Landon turned the coldest gaze Eggsy had ever seen on the man. 

"Then do. He'll find out everything sooner or later. Young Gary will be accompanying me in the meantime, and I would assume that Arthur knows where my office is." A moment or two more of direct eye contact was all it took for the guard to back down and avert his gaze. The crowd gradually dispersed, two of them chattering instructions through handheld radios to other security personnel.

Landon paused only long enough to ensure the other men were leaving, then walked over and crouched next to Eggsy's small form. "I gather that you know you're in trouble. Can you stand?"

Eggsy tried to respond, but all that came out was air, like he'd forgotten how to speak, and then a sob. Once it started, he couldn't stop. _He was in trouble._ It crashed down on him all at once. He'd done something so horribly wrong, and he was shaking and crying and they'd nearly killed him and Eggsy _hadn't meant to_. He reached out wildly, grabbing at Landon's jumper and holding on like it was a lifeline. " _I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry,_ " Eggsy sobbed, curling against the man and hating that he couldn't stop, couldn't stop saying it, couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop shaking. But Landon had to know. Eggsy didn't want to get hurt. Whatever this was, he wasn't a threat, and he had to make sure Landon knew. 

Landon froze, wide-eyed, and just suppressed the urge to grimace. He'd dealt with this before, when the boy had been desperately missing Harry. He didn't prefer to interact with small children leaking body fluids, but that couldn't be helped. Landon schooled his expression into something he hoped was appropriately compassionate and cleared his throat. "I know you're sorry. No one's going to hurt you. I'm going to pick you up in a moment here, since I doubt you'll make it all the way to my office, and I'll..."

Landon trailed off, trying to think of something that might comfort a distraught ten year old who had just been threatened with deadly violence. "...make us some tea. Harry isn't here right now, but we may be able to see if we can get him on the phone."

Eggsy managed to reign his crying in with deep gulps of air, but only just. It took many of them for him to calm enough for somewhat normal breathing, but he still couldn't stop shaking. Eggsy nodded his head vigorously. "M’kay," was all he could make out with through the fear threatening to bubble up inside him again. He really, really did want Landon to pick him up. He didn't care if Landon was grumpy and didn't know Eggsy all that well. Landon was the only person here Eggsy knew, and he was nice to Eggsy before. He held out his arms, ready, his mind latching like a vice onto the idea that he could call Harry, that he could _talk_ to Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know, next week's chapter will be a week late. Have fun waiting in suspense.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, all.

Landon scooped the boy up and started off down the hall. He moved quickly, but Eggsy caught glimpses of rooms as they passed, and occasionally they ran into more people. All of the strangers shot curious looks at Eggsy, but they must have recognized Landon, as none of them made a move to stop them. Eggsy couldn't pay attention to the twists of the hallway or how long Landon had been carrying him, but at last they arrived at a door. Landon shifted Eggsy's weight to one arm so he could swipe a key card and open the door, and then they slipped inside.

The room was an office, with more screens and computers than Eggsy had ever seen in one room before. Landon put Eggsy down on a cushy chair and turned to reach for his keyboard, but he jerked to a halt. Eggsy's fingers were still clenched around handfuls of his jumper. "Eggsy, let go of me. I'm not going anywhere."

Eggsy's bottom lip trembled, but he looked down at his hands and, with great effort, forced his fingers to relax. Landon straightened and Eggsy pulled his hands back to his chest. He couldn't help curling in on himself, shoulders hunched. He was still trembling. Half of him wanted to shout at Landon, just take everything he'd been bottling up and let it out at someone who knew, who'd lied to him. Eggsy wanted to ask so many questions. But the other half of him was still caught in a state of shock. He felt like he was still laying frozen on the floor, unable to speak. 

Eggsy tried to curl in on himself even more, keeping his eyes on Landon and waiting for him to say something. The man had made one thing clear, one thing Eggsy already knew: he was definitely in trouble. 

Landon tapped for several seconds on a keyboard, and the screens in the room shifted their displays to a screensaver, hiding everything. Landon then crossed the room to a small kitchenette and filled an electric kettle. Once it had been set to boil, he turned to survey the boy who was trying to disappear into the upholstery.

"You're only going to give yourself a backache like that. You don't need to squirm so. No one's going to be raising a hand to you. This was the natural progression of your ceaseless curiosity, and Harry had been warned. Not about this, of course. You've sent the Head of Security into apoplexy. He hadn't planned for infiltrators of your size and stature."

Eggsy bit his lip, trying to decide if he should be smart and shut up, but there was a new feeling kindling in his stomach now. Something that felt like it could scorch him if he didn't let it out. 

Eggsy's jaw tightened and he stared at Landon, hard. He tried to make his eyes like Harry's, even if the thought of Harry sent his mind into a tailspin. The few times he'd seen Harry truly angry were frightening. He'd go still and cold and it was all in his gaze. Eggsy had no idea if he was doing it, but he sure felt it, and it came out in three little words. 

"Who are you?"

"Exactly who you were told I was. Harry's friend and his coworker, going on quite a few years now. You were told as much of the truth as was permissible." Landon leaned back against the kitchenette countertop and crossed his arms. With some effort, he suppressed the urge to smile. Eggsy was trying to project anger and intimidation, but he still looked the part of a terrified young boy. Only, now, he was a terrified young boy suffering from constipation who was forgetting how to blink. 

That answer only made Eggsy frown harder. "What's that mean? An' what _is_ this place? Or is that 'top secret', too?" Eggsy shifted, uncomfortable with the way Landon was looking at him. The man was too calm, like he thought Eggsy was doing something funny even if he was going to be punished anyway. Eggsy stared, but Landon's sharp features gave nothing away. The man didn't even have to try, and Eggsy realised what he'd said while upset and hysterical was true--he wasn't a threat, and there was no way he could make Landon talk except for what little weight he held with their short time knowing one another. If that counted for anything. 

"It shouldn't surprise you that it is. It's a base of operations, as I'm sure you've guessed. You're lucky you're still alive, in fact. A number of defences are set up near the entrance to stop anyone who isn't supposed to be here, and some of our guards are anxious little things. Harry would have had my hide if anything happened to you." The kettle behind Landon clicked, and he turned to retrieve clean mugs. Landon's words didn't seem to match his demeanour; he was unconcerned about whatever danger had just passed Eggsy by, or how upset the boy was about his discovery.

Eggsy wanted more than anything to find some kind of comfort in him, but every time he thought Landon might be offering it, the feeling slipped through Eggsy's fingers. He glanced around the room when Landon poured the tea. Tall, black towers stood in the back behind a wall of glass, lights blinking here and there. Eggsy thought they might have been server towers, something like what he'd seen on the telly before. The other half was...nothing he could make out after Landon blocked all the monitors. With the kitchenette and the comfortable chairs, it looked like the man could set up in here for weeks if he wanted to. There wasn't even a window on the door, and it was thick, Eggsy had noticed, just like all the others they'd passed. 

"You shoot ev'rybody who comes down here without an invitation, then?" Eggsy asked, rethinking his theory about the Mafia he'd had weeks and weeks ago. For the little Eggsy knew about the Mafia though...this seemed way bigger. 

"The only people who come here are either known and anticipated, or strangers with deadly intent. Not small boys." Landon removed the tea bags and then carried the mugs back to his desk. He held out one for Eggsy. Wafts of steam trailed up from the liquid, one thing that was familiar and still comforting. "You'd be surprised at the sorts of people in the world. Some of them would think nothing of snatching up young children, brainwashing them, and utilizing them as soldiers or living bombs. The security team would have jumped to the worst conclusion rather than presume that a child wandered here by mistake. Or dumb luck, in your case, because your arrival was very purposeful. Or am I wrong?"

Eggsy's eyes narrowed, but he took the mug, holding it carefully in his hands so he wouldn't spill. The trembling was subsiding little by little, but he felt cold all over now. "Wasn't dumb luck," Eggsy shot back quietly, holding the mug against his chest before he took a sip. The warmth of it sent a shiver all the way down his insides. "I knew Harry wasn't tellin' me somethin'. I guess you, too." A new pang of hurt coiled inside him after he said it. "Tried to make him tell me, but he wouldn't. Even after he promised." 

"It was dumb luck, by virtue of the fact that you got through the doorway and are still drawing breath. Some of our systems are automated." Landon settled into the office chair behind his desk. The man was inscrutable as ever, refusing to rise to Eggsy's comments or his hurt tone of voice. Landon paused for a moment, then dug his cell phone out of one pocket and typed away as he spoke. "You can't blame Harry for refusing to tell you what he's forbidden to tell, or for doing his utmost to hide the evidence."

"Why can't I? I don't even know if--" Eggsy cut himself off before he said something Landon might take as an insult, saying he might be one of the 'bad guys' of the world. And expecting dangerous people trying to sneak into this...lair or whatever it was that somehow ran underneath London...well, that didn't really sound like the good guys to Eggsy. "...don't even know what this place is," Eggsy mumbled instead, knowing he couldn't leave the thought half finished. 

He held the mug closer again, curling around it and wondering what they were going to do with him. Landon had saved him, but he sounded so...unconcerned about Eggsy. Eggsy wondered just how important Harry was here, if Harry would leave him to whatever punishment their superiors saw fit to give Eggsy, or if Harry could get him out of it.

Eggsy sniffed and tried to guess what Landon was doing on his mobile to no avail. "...you calling Harry?"

"I'm texting him to see if he's currently able to take a call. He may not be in a position to talk right now, or may be ahead of schedule and flying back, which would mean that his cell reception may not work. Harry's schedule doesn't revolve around what's convenient for either of us." Landon set down the cell and waited. He lifted his mug and eyed Eggsy over the rim. Harry had worked on the boy's lying skills, but upset as he was, he wasn't hiding much. "No longer keen for answers? You've come all this way for a reason."

Eggsy's chin dipped and his shoulders hunched further in. Landon hadn't really scolded him, but it felt like it. Eggsy could feel his throat closing up again, but he fought it as hard as he could. He thought about Harry, flying back from somewhere, unaware of what Eggsy now knew. He thought of the way Harry had denied all of this, so easily. That little bit of hurt he could hold onto was grounding. 

"What was Harry doing?" Eggsy wanted to shout the question. He didn't want to seem weak, but it came out quiet instead. 

"Recovering sensitive documents that were stolen from the Crown. No one wants a diplomacy meltdown, so the governments involved are busy pretending nothing has happened. The Crown didn't want their own undercover operatives to risk exposure. We're the stopgap that allows everyone to continue pretending nothing happened, because as far as everyone else is concerned, it never did." Landon calmly sipped at his tea and ignored Eggsy's shocked stare. "I've been taking on extra duties and bribing other agents and staff members to take on the more lengthy and travel-intensive missions in order to allow Harry to spend more time at home caring for you. You're welcome."

Eggsy felt cold at the same time his face grew hot. "You're like...secret agents or somethin'? Like..." _James Bond_ , Eggsy's fantastical mind supplied. But...the knife in the _shoe_. Harry's _glasses_. His watch that could shoot _amnesia darts_. Eggsy frowned and stared hard at Landon, trying to see through him like Harry always saw through Eggsy. "You ain't just lyin' to me again?" 

Landon's phone chirped and Eggsy's stomach lurched. 

"You've seen the hanger and the lift down here. You really think it's a lie?" Landon raised his eyebrows and picked up the phone. One glance at the screen told him what he needed. "Harry hasn't taken off yet, so he has a brief window to talk to you before he starts his flight back. Do you want to talk to him, or do you want to wait a few hours until he's here in person?"

Eggsy thought about denying Harry out of spite, but this was too much. He had little else to hold onto besides Landon's assurances that he was safe now. Except that Eggsy wasn't so sure how safe that really was, or what they might make him do now that he knew. 

Eggsy nodded and put the mug down on the desk, careful to make sure it wasn't next to anything important looking. "Yeah, I wanna talk to him."

Landon nodded and began to dial. He'd suspected as much. Small children were not the most patient of creatures, and Eggsy was so upset at not being told everything that he was apt to throw a tantrum if Harry didn't talk him down. For all Landon knew, Eggsy might do it anyways. The boy never stopped to consider just how many people he'd lied to in order to get what he wanted and protect Harry, but the hypocrisy wasn't surprising either.

The cell began to ring, and Landon slid it across his desk for Eggsy to pick up.

Eggsy took the phone with two hands and brought it to his ear before he punched the call button. 

"Eggsy?" It was Harry's voice. No question about it, it was him on the other end of the line. No one could fake Harry's voice like that, not when Eggsy could hear the quaver in it. He'd never truly heard Harry quite like that before, but he could tell all the same. Harry didn't say anything right away after that, but Eggsy could hear sound in the background. When seconds passed, Harry spoke up again. "Eggsy, are you alright?"

" _No_ ," Eggsy sobbed. He hadn't meant to, any more than he'd meant for his voice to crack. He'd wanted to hold onto his anger at being lied to. Maybe he would later, but hearing Harry's voice through the receiver, hearing the _worry_ in it... Eggsy hadn't been able to keep his emotions from flooding over. A dull ache filled him and he wished more than anything that Harry was already there. "I... Why didn't you tell me about this stuff? I found your glasses and wanted to see where you _really_ worked, but then there were people with guns and I thought they were gonna _kill_ me, Harry. And you lied to me, and your friend lied to me, and he doesn't even _care_. I don't wanna get punished, I ain't done nothin' wrong, I was just trying to find out the truth 'cause you were hiding stuff from me."

"Eggsy," Harry's voice suddenly became clearer, like he'd stepped away from the crowd or found a corner and pulled the phone closer to his mouth, "Eggsy, listen to me. I know. I know what I've done, but you've got to try not to be afraid until I get there, okay? M-Sean will take care of you. And no one is going to hurt you, I promi--" Eggsy could hear Harry check himself, caught in another promise that made little difference to Eggsy now. But there was conviction when he spoke again. "I'll see to that. Just. Hang in there, and then you take it all out on me in person." 

"But _when_ , when are you going to be here? What if he can't keep the guards away and they shoot me?" Eggsy didn't want Landon to take care of him. Eggsy had a difficult time feeling angry with Harry, but he didn't know Landon that well. Betrayal stung from both of them, but it was easier to paint the stranger he wasn’t in love with as a villain. The man was cold in all the ways that Harry was warm. "I don't want to stay here for hours and hours."

"It's going to be at least two. Closer to three. But I'm going to be running off the plane, and I'm going to take the fastest cab I can get. And I'm going to have words with the others as soon as I hang up. They'll leave you alone." Eggsy could hear Harry draw a breath. He sounded for once like he didn't know what to say, and that never happened to Harry. Every exhale was as clear as his voice. "Eggsy...I'm...I'm truly sorry you found out this way."

"But why didn't you _tell_ me? You said you were gonna tell me if there was anything else dangerous in the house and you _didn't_." Eggsy wanted to ask so many questions. He needed to know if Harry was working for the Queen, like Landon had suggested. Eggsy still wasn't sure, and he could no longer trust anything Landon said.

Eggsy didn't know if he could trust anything Harry said anymore, either. He'd lied, he'd broken his promise, and Eggsy was a bit disturbed that Harry's glasses doubled as a camera. His mother had violated his privacy, and he didn't want to think about the possibility that Harry could have done the same.

"I couldn't." Harry swallowed hard. Eggsy could imagine how he might look, hunched in a corner with his phone, anxious in a way Eggsy had never truly seen Harry before. "I was...." Harry took another breath. "I was planning to tell you. Someday when you might have.... When it might not have been so hard on you." There was a dull thump and Eggsy wondered if Harry had hit the wall. "Eggsy, the plane is about to board. I have to hang up now, but I'll see you in just a few hours. As soon as I can."

"Please hurry. Please." That was all Eggsy could say. He didn't want to wait hours, but there was no choice about the matter and no more time. Harry gave him a quick goodbye, and Eggsy had barely murmured a disheartened reply before the line went dead. Eggsy lowered the phone to his lap and was left staring at the blank screen.

Landon regarded the boy with thoughtful intent. Eggsy would likely do better waiting for Harry at home, but Arthur would never permit the boy to leave before security concerns had been addressed. They would have to await Harry's return at headquarters. "I don't have much to occupy you in my office. I don't suppose you'd care to go down to the kennels? You're already a security breach regardless, and there's no sensitive information being stored with the dogs."

Eggsy's brows furrowed. "Dogs?" He imagined big guard dogs, Dobermans and Rottweilers, might be kept in kennels for security. Eggsy wasn't sure that would lift his spirits like Landon seemed to think it would, but he wasn't keen to stay locked up in the man's office either. Tentatively, he nodded, wondering just how much of the place he'd see and whether they would run into anyone else. Eggsy hoped not. "Ok."

Landon gave the boy a sharp nod in return and got to his feet. He circled around so he could open the door for Eggsy. "Just stay close. Word has likely spread by now, but we have a number of jittery personnel. They tend to assume the worst and prepare to defend themselves. I'd rather you not get shot in the leg by someone who's spent a bit too much time in the field to be suitable for social interaction with the public."

Eggsy's eyes flashed wide as Landon passed by, opening the door for him. Eggsy paused for a long moment, rethinking his decision to let Landon lead him through the halls with people like that around because it didn't sound like the man was joking. Landon didn't close the door though, and he seemed to think it would be okay.... 

Eggsy willed himself to step forward, but he stayed close, very close, as they walked down the hall.  
They passed more security rooms, or operations rooms, or whatever they were, but most doors they passed were locked and coded just like Landon's had been and not for the first time Eggsy wondered where they were. They could have been far underground for all he knew. The only thing he could say for sure was that, from the length of the tube ride, they had to be far of London. 

Eggsy glanced up at Landon as they walked, fairly clinging to the man's side and wary every time they passed someone else in the hall. Which they did occasionally. Some men looked like the guards Eggsy had seen. Some were dressed more comfortably, like Landon. He even saw a woman talking into a headset as they passed. All of them, however, had eyes that lingered on Eggsy. 

Landon wasn't the sort of man that was given to displays of compassion without reason. He wasn't particularly bothered by Eggsy's distress. The boy's feelings had nothing to do with the hand he placed protectively on Eggsy's shoulder, or the way Landon stared down all the adults they passed. No one stopped them. No one even approached. Whatever Landon did as a job, everyone they passed had a spark of recognition in their eyes as they watched the pair of them stroll past.

The hallways seemed to go on forever. Maybe it was because there were no windows, and so Eggsy had no way to gauge how far they'd walked. Landon guided Eggsy into a lift, pressed a button, and they shot upward at a speed that made Eggsy's stomach lurch. Quite a ways underground, then, to judge by the feeling.

When the doors opened, they stepped out into a mansion.

Eggsy nearly stopped in his tracks. That was not what he'd been expecting. Landon's grip kept him moving though and Eggsy only stumbled for a moment. 

The halls here were large, embellished with intricately carved moulding. Chandeliers hung wherever they walked. Arched windows that ran up to the ceiling gave Eggsy a glimpse of the uncommonly sunny day outside. There were less people in that part of the building, but Eggsy caught sight of two conversing at the end of a hall who wore suits like Harry did before Landon pulled him along. 

Eggsy wondered if the suits meant something. Everyone there was dressed well, but they were obviously divided. He'd have guessed by Landon's more casual attire that he wasn't in charge, but the way people had glanced away when he looked at them....

Eggsy tugged on the man's sweater to get his attention, still not sure if he was ready to raise his voice. He didn't really know how to phrase his question either, but Landon looked at him expectantly all the same. "Um...what do you do here?" Eggsy finally asked. 

Landon glanced down at Eggsy. He wasn't surprised by the question. What he was surprised about was that Eggsy wanted to speak with him at all. The boy's resentment had been quite clear in his office. Since Harry was so loved, much of Eggsy's anger had transferred to the most convenient target. "Information, and technological support. I'm usually not in the field unless I'm needed close by, for one reason or another. I tend to work closely with the field agents, of which Harry is one." Landon stopped them and opened a door. A vibrant green lawn stretched out in front of them. "We've known each other for years. Trust between field agents and their support handlers is critical. I'm closer with them than I am with other staff."

Eggsy frowned, but it was a curious frown. That curiosity was battling with his inner turmoil. 

He stepped outside and got a good look around. They were definitely somewhere in the English countryside. The rolling hills and spotted trees stretched on forever. Eggsy couldn't see any other roads or estates in the distance, at least not on this side of the property, so he figured they must have been a ways out. 

When the beauty of it began to wear off, one thing Landon said did begin to eat at Eggsy. He kicked at a rock on the gravel road as Landon led him along the side of the estate. "You close with all of 'em then, or just Harry?" 

"I know all of the field agents fairly well, but Harry is the only one I would say I'm truly close with." Landon gestured, and Eggsy's gaze followed the movement towards one of the small buildings off in the distance. "That's the kennels. We also have a stable. Quite a few things that you'd expect from an aristocrat's countryside estate, in fact. As far as any outside observer can tell, this is just one more neglected property, only visited now and then when the owner goes on holiday."

Landon didn't seem at all perturbed by the hint of venom in Eggsy's tone and it rankled. Harry had kept Eggsy in the dark and Landon knew everything. Harry could share things with Landon that he didn't with Eggsy, even if it was for work. Even if they'd known each other for years. Even if Harry had planned to tell Eggsy. Eggsy didn't like that feeling in his gut. It was too easy to be jealous when he found out Harry had lied to him, and Landon still didn't seem to care at all. 

They walked across the lawn in silence, Eggsy's frustration still warring with his curiosity and his nervousness.

Landon opened the door to the kennel, and Eggsy's thoughts of resentment were momentarily derailed. The boy had been expecting rows of tight cages like he'd seen before at animal adoption centers. He'd been expecting attack dogs of some sort. Instead, most of the building's ground floor was a large fenced in area. Amid the open space, scattered toys, and sleeping pillows, a panoply of breeds lounged and played and ran about. In the far back, one little corgi was struggling to get through one of the pet flaps that led outside.

Eggsy stopped just inside and glanced up at Landon, bewildered, but Landon's face remained impassive yet subtly optimistic. 

"What are they all for?" was the only thing Eggsy could think to ask. They looked like peoples' pets, and though Landon and Eggsy's presence caused a stir and most of them came bounding up to the fence to get as close as possible, they looked very friendly. Eggsy felt a natural pull to go and look at them, but he was still wary. 

"Appearances, in part. Both for here, in case anyone should come poking around what's supposed to be an eccentric aristocrat's countryside estate, and for missions and tests. Not the sort of tests you might be thinking," Landon clarified when Eggsy began to frown. "People's attitudes towards animals reveal a bit about their psychology, and people trust pet owners more quickly and easily. It's simpler to get a traumatized witness to a crime to talk to a stranger with a dog. Some of these animals belong to our organization, some actually _do_ belong to the aristocrat whose land this is, and some are the pets of employees. Quite a few, actually, as it's impractical to travel all the way back to London to their homes just to take their pets out every few hours, so most bring them in to work."

That sounded even stranger than Eggsy had thought. He took a step closer and the dogs' tails began wagging harder. A few yipped excitedly. Eggsy thought of Mr. Pickle, who could have fit right in with the bunch, and his insides twisted again when he thought of Harry and wondered if he'd ever taken his dog here before he left him home with Eggsy. 

"Do you have a dog?" Eggsy asked, turning back to Landon for a moment. The man didn't seem like the right sort, but Eggsy couldn't be sure. 

Landon pointed towards the back. The corgi that had been stuck in the pet door had finally reversed direction and tumbled back into the kennel. Being trapped hadn't dampened its spirits at all. The dog's ears perked when Landon whistled, and after a quick scan of the room the corgi started to bound towards the fence where most of the dogs were gathered. "That's Baxter. He's getting up there in years."

Eggsy's eyes widened. Baxter...was not what he was expecting. He walked along the fence with the other dogs following until Baxter joined the bunch in between a Labrador and a Brittany. The dog had a distant but happy look about him with his pink tongue lolling out to one side and his eyes on Eggsy. He certainly wasn't the quickest of the bunch, but he looked a lot friendlier than his owner. 

"Uhm. How do you get him out?" Eggsy asked. "Can we take him back with us or are they not allowed inside?" A distant part of his mind echoed what Landon had said about the dogs being used in their work to calm people and it wasn't lost on Eggsy that that was exactly what he was feeling. 

"Yes, they're allowed inside so long as they're controlled and not damaging things. They mostly stay up here because it's a better environment. More space, more sun, more interaction with other dogs instead of being ignored while the people around them work." Landon walked around until he got to a portion of the fence that was a bit different. A square of floor was sectioned off with fencing and two gates, designed to catch runaways should extra dogs slip past. Furry bodies wagged and panted and grouped together on the other side of the second gate, and Landon waited until his dog came close. With minimum fuss, the older man was able to briefly unlatch the second gate and whisk Baxter through. 

With Baxter wriggling excitedly in Landon's arms, the two could not have made a more unlikely pair. At Eggsy's amused smile, Landon returned the expression. "Something funny?"

"Nah," Eggsy said, feeling a minor burst of confidence. "Jus' sometimes y'know, people say pets look like their owners 'n all." He reached up to pet Baxter's fur and had his hand licked in the process. The dog was surprisingly soft for an old corgi and he panted happily at Eggsy, looking down from Landon's arms. Eggsy wondered if he and Mr. Pickle would get along. He was certain of one thing, however. If he really did have to stay cooped up in Landon's office for a few more hours until Harry came back and they...decided what to do with him, having Baxter around would be nice. 

"You don't think we look alike?" Landon was so straight-faced that it took a moment for Eggsy to realize he was being teased. The older man got a leash from one of the nearby supply racks and clipped it onto Baxter's collar, then set him down. The dog went right for Eggsy, determined to investigate all the scents that clung to the new person he hadn't met before.

Landon held out the hand loop for the leash. "Don't get your hopes up about playing fetch. He'd rather fall asleep atop a stick than chase it."

Eggsy took the leash and bent down to pet the dog who was sniffing him all over. Definitely friendlier than Landon. The dog's rear wagged more than his tail did. His ears were soft and his long tongue nearly got Eggsy in the face before he stood up again. He offered Landon a quiet "Thanks," before the man led them back out of the kennel and into the yard. Baxter barely kept up with Landon's long legs. 

Eggsy found his courage halfway across the lawn. "What are they gonna do with me?" he asked, raising his voice for the first time since he'd arrived. 

Landon was quiet for a few seconds as they walked. Eggsy missed Harry even more; Harry's brown eyes were warm, just like he was. Landon's hazel eyes caught the sunlight and only made him look sterner and sharper than usual. Harry's brow would have been furrowing in concern, but Landon seemed as blank-faced as ever. "I don't know. We can't make you forget you've seen headquarters. I suspect that Arthur will want to grill you with questions to determine whether you're a security risk. You may end up getting off very lightly. The security team that missed you is going to be punished severely, and I expect Harry will be punished in some form or another for being careless enough to allow you to get suspicious. I may end up punished as well."

Eggsy bit his lip as they walked. His insides sank even deeper. He felt on the verge of crying again. He felt that surely they couldn't take him away from Harry, but what he knew was so nebulous that he couldn't be certain, and the thought that he would be punished....that Harry would be punished, that Eggsy had done something so bad that everyone who knew him would get in trouble.... It sent a wholly different kind of fear trickling down his spine. 

What if Harry never wanted to see him again?

"Do you think it'll be really bad?" Eggsy asked quietly. 

Landon snorted. It took a heart-stopping moment for Eggsy to process that it hadn't been a sound of derision. When he glanced over, Landon was wearing the oddest little smile. "I doubt it. For the security team, perhaps, given that they didn't intercept you before you reached the hanger... although given their behaviour that was for the best. Harry has continuously pranked and irritated and tested the limits of the rules for as long as he's been an agent. As have I, to a lesser degree. We're too valuable to lose, or to bench. We'll get a dressing down, and then we'll both get assignments no one else wants to deal with for a time."

Eggsy's eyes widened. He paused, catching Baxter up short while Landon just kept strolling along and Eggsy had to jump to catch up again. "Really? It'll be ok? They won't take me away from Harry or nothin'?" He could hear the fear in his own voice, but this was almost too much to wish for. But if Landon really wasn't upset...maybe Harry wouldn't be either. Eggsy didn't know if he could take much more of his insides leaping every which way for much longer, but the intense spark of hope that came upon him as Landon led him around to a back door was too good to let go. 

"Eggsy." Landon waited for few moments, letting the boy's thoughts settle until he was really listening. For all that he knew that Eggsy was no longer innocent, Eggsy still looked the part. Landon took in the hopeful face peering up at him and picked his words with care. "Do you know how serious security and intelligence agencies are about their job? This lapse is a severe embarrassment, and would be more than that if word ever got out. If you were older and unknown, or an enemy of the state, things would be very, very different. As things are? Harry and I wouldn't permit you to be treated as an adult enemy agent. Kingsman can't afford to lose or make enemies of us. You're Harry's adopted ward, so he has multiple levels of control over you, at least theoretically, which should mollify our head of operations that you will be made to understand the risks and consequences of revealing anything you've learned and seen today to other people. So long as we convince the leadership that you're not a threat and won't leak anything embarrassing or dangerous, it's very unlikely that much will happen to the three of us. _Except_ , of course, if you do tell anyone."

Eggsy shivered, but he nodded. "I won't tell anybody. I promise." 

That was mostly reassuring, even if Eggsy was clutching Baxter's leash tighter at the last. Landon gave him a slight pull of his lips that might have meant to be a smile, and continued down the hall. It was back to Landon's office, and Eggsy found he wasn't yet hoping to see more even if the curiosity itched at the back of his mind through it all. If there was any chance he'd run into the higher management Landon kept mentioning, Eggsy would rather avoid it. 

Baxter was immediately at home in the space. Once Landon shut the door behind them, Eggsy unhooked his collar and the dog waddled underneath the desk where Eggsy noticed there was a bed waiting for him. Eggsy got down on his knees to pet the dog, and it made him feel only slightly better. 

"I never entertain guests, so I'm afraid there isn't much for you to do while we wait. There _is_ food and drink in the cupboards and refrigerator if you need anything. I often work long hours, so the kitchenette is always well stocked in case something comes up." Landon slid his hands into his pockets and watched the boy trying to hide his unease by focusing on Baxter. Eggsy didn't know what to do, and Landon didn't know what to do with him. Harry would have known, but Harry wasn't there to advise him about how children thought and what children needed.

A polite rap at the door derailed Landon's thoughts. He turned and opened the door. Instead of a gaggle of security guards to escort them both to Arthur, as he was expecting, Landon found himself face to face with Lancelot. "...yes? Did you need something?"

"Not at all. Just dropping by to see how the young stowaway is doing," Eggsy heard from outside the door. 

Whoever it was had a naturally deep and smooth voice, something that could almost be described as a drawl. If Landon was about to shut the door in the newcomer's face, he didn't get the chance. The man's head peered around the doorway and Eggsy found that it was the same man he had followed from the shop down to the tube. It was a bit startling, now that this man must know exactly what he'd done, and Eggsy straightened up from the floor quickly, unsure what to do with himself. 

_James_ , Eggsy heard in Harry's voice, remembering their brief introduction over Christmas. 

"Well enough, considering that our security did their best to terrify him into thinking he was about to be executed by firing squad." Landon gave James a once over. He couldn't shut the door in the man's face, but refusing entry and pushing him back into the hall was still an option. Ejecting would-be visitors wouldn't even be out of character. "The boy doesn't need more stress. Or am I to presume good intentions?"

"Nothing but the best," James assured and Eggsy caught the raise of the man's brows in sincerity. All too smooth sincerity, if Eggsy was reading it right. "We have met before after all, if only briefly." 

Curiosity got the better of Eggsy in the end and he moved to Landon's side to see the man better. Now that James wasn't waiting around for his daily commute, he was all smiles and an easy air. He immediately caught sight of Eggsy. 

"And there's our little spy now." James stepped into the room, forcing Landon to either halt him with the door or step out of the way.

Landon halted him, staying firmly in place until the other man was forced to come to a stop. Landon cared nothing about etiquette and personal space that didn't have himself at the core, after all. "Yes, there he is. Have you some pressing comment to impart, or was there something else? Congratulations for his prowess? Consolations about the harassment we're all to endure once Arthur frees his schedule? Or is this about salvaging your pride for not realizing you were being tailed?

The man gave a long suffering sigh and Eggsy noticed then, with how close they were, that they were nearly of a height. He'd thought Harry was tall. And then there were these two. Was everyone who worked here a giant? 

"Honestly, I'm curious to have a proper introduction to Hart's young ward." The man straightened and arched a brow. "We'd been introduced only in passing, and I'll admit I was quite surprised, and impressed, when I heard he'd gotten the better of me."

Eggsy drew closer to Landon's side. This James seemed charming, almost in the extreme, and Landon was anything but. However, Landon had proved he was willing to look after Eggsy and that counted for something. He tugged on the man's jumper until Landon looked down at him. "'Sok. If it's not against the rules or nothin'."

Landon gave him a strange look. Eggsy had seen similar on Harry before, but he didn't know what it meant, only that it seemed determined. Landon turned back to their visitor and his voice turned flat and falsely pleasant. "Very well. Do come in. Keep in mind that the person in question has only just achieved double digits, and Harry _will_ be back shortly. Neither of us will look kindly on undue commentary."

James' second brow raised with the first, but he nodded respectfully and folded his hands behind his back as Landon let him into the room. Eggsy stepped back, unsure what to do. 

"Ah, you've found Baxter!" James exclaimed, and to Eggsy's surprise, bent down and clapped his hands for the dog to come snuffling out of his bed to be greeted. "He must be keeping you company while you're cooped up in here?" was the first question James actually addressed to Eggsy. 

Eggsy nodded. 

"Splendid idea, splendid indeed. I do hope they don't make the visit too uncomfortable for you. After all, you've beaten many of us at our own game." James shot him a thousand watt smile, but all Eggsy could feel was puzzled. He thought he was about to be interrogated, or maybe not so harshly, considering the man's jovial demeanour, but still.... 

"I guess so." Eggsy shrugged his shoulders, unsure if he was meant to accept the praise or if that would be rude. 

"Perhaps it would help if you would back me up on that point," Landon added. He could feel his blood pressure rising every instant James was in the room. He'd never grown out of the boyish phase of university life, even if James was no longer a naive youth by a stretch of either term. Knowing his secrets didn't counterbalance the feeling of being around a Yankee in a yacht club. Landon cleared his throat and swallowed his irritation at Baxter's snuffling around at James’ feet. "I've been trying to tell Eggsy not to worry overmuch. I can't imagine that Arthur would do anything drastic."

"Ah, he knows about Arthur, then?" 

"Who's Arthur?" If Eggsy hadn't felt put on the spot before, he did now. All he could tell was that this man was supposedly one of the people in charge. Or maybe the person in charge. 

"The only one not currently having a laugh at Hart's expense in the upstairs drawing room." James replied smoothly as though Eggsy was supposed to know who these others were, although he could now imagine maybe why they were laughing. Even if he was still sure he was in serious trouble. 

"Arthur doesn't get final say in the organization, but he does happen to be our senior member and has considerable influence, if not dictatorial control. He was already sour about Harry adopting and needing family accommodations." Baxter wandered in Landon's direction and whined at his feet. Landon stooped to pick him up, conscious as always about how ridiculous they looked together. Good natured ribbing about opposites was rarely passed over by other Kingsman staff, particularly when they lacked knowledge of many other things to tease him about. "He'll try to make things unpleasant and embarrassing, but there's little he can do."

"The others are taking it well, all things considered. We'll see what comes out at the table, however." James looked a little more serious at that, and again Eggsy was caught somewhere between relieved and worried. And finally the man was looking over Eggsy, _really_ looking, and Eggsy found himself shying away from the inspection. There wasn't anywhere to go, but he couldn't make his shoulders any less tense and he realised he was biting his lip. "You were pretty determined to get all the way down here," James commented, tone no less smooth for the directness of the statement. It was left hanging in the air, more like a question and Eggsy wasn't sure what he should answer. The man had to be wondering how long he knew, what made him so bold....

"Yes, he was, although he didn't seem to know what to anticipate." Landon's brow furrowed. He looked at Eggsy without seeing him, paying far more attention to James from where he stood at the edge of his vision. "Hart was very used to living alone, and he wasn't as careful as he should have been. I think we would have more instances of this sort of thing if we had more personnel who weren't legacy families or married to other personnel. Or single. Precautions can be taken, but it's unwise to have no equipment at one's home, and my understanding is that Eggsy had stumbled across a couple of things."

"Is that so?" James levelled his raised brow at Eggsy. 

Eggsy turned his attention to Baxter, lolling lazily in Landon's arms, just so he didn't have to look at anyone. "Uh, yeah. 'Suppose so. Just...um, some glasses...." Eggsy didn't know how to lie to these people. Harry had given him no instruction for this. He wanted to divert their attention and pass over everything just like Harry had told him to do for the psychologist, but Eggsy didn't think lying to Harry's coworkers was a good idea. And he had no one to tell him otherwise. 

"Ah," James seemed to know what he meant immediately, and Eggsy was sure a subtle kind of seriousness settled into his demeanour, even if it was barely perceptible. 

"Didn't see much. Just the shop and the door in the mirror, honest," Eggsy amended. 

"Well, that would explain why you got the idea that there was more to the shop than what you'd seen, and the knowledge to hide in the dressing room." The mildness of Landon's words didn't match his expression. A sharp interest had entered his eyes, one that Eggsy couldn't explain. He'd seen the expression before though, as all children had: the look of an adult who suspected that he knew far more than he was telling and trying to guess what he knew by visual cues alone. "And then there was the matter of the gun. We may have to invent new equipment storage protocols."

Eggsy flushed. _Landon knew about that._ He was at once both relieved he hadn't lied and terrified of what Landon might also know. Eggsy shut his mouth and tried to keep from shaking. Harry wouldn't have told.... Harry had been the one to stress how dangerous it was for anyone to know about the other parts of their lives. Harry must have just told him about the gun.... Because it was for work. 

Suddenly Eggsy felt like he couldn't breathe enough. 

He saw James' eyes widen and a look of concern pass across his face. "Are you alright?"

Landon's expression sharpened by a hair. Baxter chose that particular moment to squirm and whine, drawing James' attention back for a split second. Landon knelt to put the dog back on the floor, where Baxter immediately trotted over to be with Eggsy. "Of course he isn't fine. From what Harry's told me, the boy's had a childhood that wasn't exactly conducive to a sense of trust, safety, and stability. Those past experiences have to be making everything about today more difficult. Children tend not to care for being lied to, regardless of whether there are good reasons for it, even if they themselves lie very often. They don't take well to threats of violence or insecure situations either."

Landon's gaze switched back to Eggsy and pinned him in place. "He's having to adjust to the fact that some things have gone unsaid for reasons of safety. He's being asked to _trust_ again without a lot of reassurance about _why_ he should. I imagine that Eggsy won't start feeling alright until Hart is back and he sees more concrete proof that he's safe."

Eggsy couldn't believe that kind of understanding just came out of Landon’s mouth. For all his coldness, he’d just given Eggsy more validation than he’d ever expected. 

James grew a touch more sombre at that and nodded. "Rightly so...rightly so," he mused and then thought for a moment before addressing Eggsy again. "I fear I may not know the circumstances that have brought you to our doorstep, but I did know a little bit about your father's background. I always liked Lee, even if we were opponents at the time." 

Yet again Eggsy was caught off guard. It had completely escaped him that the others here might have known his father, just like Harry and Landon. 

But James was already nodding and glancing to the door, suspecting his welcome was overdue. "I'll leave you to get settled then. Eggsy, is it? It was good to meet you."

Landon showed him out. He didn't feel any relief upon closing the door. Inwardly he was cursing - Harry, the boy, and himself. He'd had years to observe how relationships and emotions became weakness points, but had fallen into a vulnerable position all the same. Rather than one more piece of leverage over another Kingsman agent, or a trade of favours between friends, he was now far more involved than he'd ever planned to be.

And now Eggsy might guess that he knew. Harry had confidence in Eggsy's abilities to lie and conceal, but Harry had reason to be overly hopeful in that regard. Landon turned and walked to the kitchenette to start the electric kettle for another cup of tea. Eggsy may have been reassured, but now he felt raw and exposed.

Eggsy stood stock still as Landon busied himself. As if he hadn't been worried over enough already...the possibility that Landon _knew_.... Or maybe he'd just been trying to get rid of James. Because he certainly _had_ been trying to get rid of James. And he knew a lot about Eggsy's life, probably from talking with Harry, so his reassuring words might have been just that. Nothing more. Any kid would miss their guardian at a time like this, Eggsy tried to remind himself. He'd felt the same about his mum when he almost got caught swiping things, when he was sure he'd wind up at the police station and have to call somebody. But his heart was beating fast in his chest again, and he had to know. Somehow. He had to find out. 

Eggsy licked his lips and glanced to Landon's back. "Thanks. That was....nice to say." He didn't even know how to start. 

Landon let out a short bark of laughter. He wanted to keep watching the kettle as it boiled, but that would mean admitting to himself that he was avoiding having to face a child. Landon turned and leaned back against the counter, folding his arms and looking Eggsy in the eye. "I think we can be honest. 'Nice' isn't a word you associate with me. I said it because it happens to be true. I have a very good memory, and I remember the first time Harry asked me to take care of you while he was on a trip."

Eggsy's eyes darted to the floor and then back to Landon. He forced himself to meet the man's gaze, remembering Harry's words in the back of his head by rote. _Attention relaxed, focus constant, honest._ Eggsy couldn't manage relaxed, his shoulders were too bunched up and he didn't know how to hold himself, not in this conversation, but he could just manage focus. He needed to, desperately. 

"Y-yeah? I mean, he's done a lot for me." Eggsy's words came out breathless, but he couldn't manage any better. 

"Yes, I know he has. I've known him for years, and he told me about you and your life circumstances before he decided to adopt you. I have a very good idea of what Harry means to you, even if you don't know what he means to me." Landon stared. Having worked with potential recruits over the years, he knew exactly what sort of effect it would have. Particularly when directed at a child who was already nervous. "You'll feel better once he's here, even if you're still upset with him. You'll have to accept at some point why he lied to you about some things. Sometimes the truth is impossible to tell, for any number of reasons. Harry wasn't allowed to tell you. Not even if you promised that you'd never tell anyone else. The best way to keep a secret is to limit the number of people who know."

Eggsy hunched in on himself a little more. He could feel Landon's eyes cut into him, but the man's words sounded reasonable. Sounded like the truth. So had Harry's, Eggsy remembered. He looked back into Landon's eyes, searching. For all the man was severe and collected, for all that it intimidated Eggsy, he still felt like he needed to know. Eggsy nodded slowly. More and more he just wanted Harry to be back so Eggsy could demand that he tell him what Landon knew and what he didn't. Eggsy felt twice as lost with this doubt curling under the weight of Harry's lie. 

For all he tried, Eggsy couldn't see through Landon. The man's stare was too hard, willing Eggsy to listen to him. He was impenetrable. 

"Just want Harry to be back." Eggsy broke their gaze and hung his head. 

"I know. And he _will_ be back. Air travel takes time. You should be happy I've kept him away from the worst of it. Logistically, duties are supposed to be balanced with family life, but not all of the agents are thrilled to be taking on extra travel now that Harry qualifies as a single parent." Landon set the tea to steeping, which necessitated him turning around and breaking the intimidating stare Eggsy had been locked into.

"You've only seen Harry directly involved, of course, but both of us have been involved in trying to make the situation as easy on you as possible. There's very little that he could ask me for that I wouldn't agree to."

"You tried to help me?" Eggsy asked, following warily over to the kitchenette. He wasn't sure if he could drink another cup of tea, but he was still cold. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if the stress had anything to do with it. "I mean, I know you came over a coupla' times when Harry was gone, an' you didn't have to." Eggsy wasn't sure what else Landon could have done to help. All things considered, it seemed like it must have been pretty easy for Harry to say he was going somewhere he wasn't. Except all the photos he'd sent Eggsy had to have been real. They'd looked real.... Eggsy frowned. 

"Housesitting, yes. Helping ensure that other agents took longer missions, so that he wasn't gone as often or as long. Legal situations are messy, and I helped him find suitable lawyers and a trustworthy psychiatrist to do your analysis for a custody transfer. Coordination with school officials to ensure you were placed back at your original school with your friends, instead of another local school." Landon poured another set of mugs, watching out of the edge of his vision as Eggsy warily moved closer. "Unlike Harry, I don't tend to do things directly. Our work is the same. Harry is a field agent, and the majority of the time I'm assigned to be his handler and direct support. I get him the information and tools he needs to achieve his objectives, and I get him in and out of a job location safely and discreetly. He's trusted me with his life more times than I can remember, so it wasn't too much of an extension to entrust me with you while he was away and I _wasn't_ his handler for that mission."

Eggsy's brows furrowed. He'd had no idea Landon was involved in any of that. He still assumed Harry and Landon talked, and talked about Eggsy probably, as was normal, but.... 

Eggsy shifted, folding his arms against himself, trying to be casual about it. He kept his eyes on the steaming kettle, but accepted the mug of tea Landon offered him when it was ready. It took a long moment for Eggsy to speak again, just as another worry began to worm its way into his mind. Watching Landon didn't help, with all the man's confidence, his certainty in Harry's life. "How...um. How close are you?"

"Very, given our personalities. Harry is very friendly but not given to making a great number of real friends and letting them get to know him. Neither am I. We got to know one another better by working together on official business, and then working together on personal projects. We knew one another when we were younger, of course, but not well. The ranks here put inappropriate stock on legacy, which is to say that certain families all tend to send their children to the same schools, and many of them end up here together." Landon took a sip of his tea and looked down. The top of Eggsy's head was far below him, and the boy fairly radiated insecurity. Landon may not have been able to see precisely what Harry saw in the boy, but with an aura of fear clinging to Eggsy's skin, he might have gotten something of an idea.

"Oh." Eggsy was fairly sure he said the word aloud. He felt it in his throat. He thought he might have heard it, but it might have also just been a squeak. He wasn't sure what he feared worse now, that Landon knew, or that Landon and Harry were...closer than he'd thought. Eggsy held the mug close to his chest, warming him beneath his shirt, but he was still cold everywhere else. He felt ill. 

Eggsy desperately wanted to know and yet there was no way of asking. Another very large part of him just wanted to slink out of the room and hide. If Landon didn't know...then he had no idea what he was saying would even make a difference to Eggsy. 

Eggsy's lip trembled. "Jus'...miss Harry...." He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. 

"So you've said." Landon wasn't able to keep all of the irritation out of his tone, and once he saw Eggsy's expression fall even further, he gave an exasperated sigh. "This is why I don't do field work. I understand that you're upset, but repetitively telling me how much you miss Harry will not get the plane here faster. I can fix a number of problems, but the limitations of the laws of physics is not one of them. As I told Harry when he first asked me to watch over you: I'm not the best person for a job demanding reassurance and comfort. I'm not used to it. Point in fact, I tend to get assigned to train potential recruits to wash out the ones who can't make it."

Landon's words stung, struck Eggsy in exactly the wrong way. Everything simmering, bubbling up inside him, he couldn't hold it back any longer. Eggsy's fist clenched the handle of the mug tight before he sent it sailing into the wall, shattering, splattering hot tea all over the floor and the end of the desk. It was a miracle Eggsy hadn't thrown it at a computer. He hadn't even been looking where he'd aimed. He didn't stop to think about it either. 

"Y'know wot, _fuck you_ ," Eggsy shouted, "I don't need your help! You think you know Harry?" Hot tears prickled at his eyes. His vision blurred before they began streaming down his cheeks. He almost, _almost_ didn't care if he said too much. "You think you know _me_? I didn't ask for your help. I didn't ask for you to be here! An' you can't take Harry away!" Eggsy knew the last didn't fit with the rest, it just came pouring out of him and he couldn't stop it. 

Landon went very still. Something about it caused Eggsy's skin to prickle even in his upset state of mind. The look he fixed Eggsy with was reminiscent of the alley cats Eggsy used to watch, all coldly vicious interest once they spotted prey that was unlikely to escape. "There has to be more to you than a mouthy, ungrateful brat, or else I can't imagine what Harry sees in you. You're lucky that I care deeply about Harry, because if I hadn't, you wouldn't have him in the first place. Harry was the one who asked for my help, and the reason I gave help. Perhaps I should have left you in the hallways to throw your tantrums with security. I'm tempted to do so right now, if not for the fact that I know what you mean to Harry. But you are damn well going to apologize and clean up my wall."

Eggsy raised his fists, spread his feet apart, and mimicked the fighting stance he'd seen older boys use. Deep inside he was terrified cold, and hurt, but he wasn't going to back down. Not if this was about Harry. He'd saved Harry from pirates once, even if it was only in his imagination. But his mother had also taught him about fairness once upon a time, and Harry had taught him about manners. 

"You apologize first an' I will," Eggsy said. "Or fight." 

"Apologize for what, exactly?" Landon set his mug aside and surveyed the diminutive figure in front of him. "You've been consistently ungrateful, no matter how much I've done to help you or make you feel better. I've put up with comments, crying, emotional fits more befitting a toddler, and now jealousy. You don't own Harry. You don't get to order him about until he interacts with no one but you, and you would not have _that_ without my involvement. I'm not going to apologize for working tirelessly on improving your life, and Harry's, only for you to scream and throw tantrums because you can't get everything that you want right when you want it."

Tears streamed down Eggsy's face, but he didn't move. "You're the one who lied to me, you an' Harry both! And it's just supposed to be ok? An' of course I was cryin'; I thought I was gonna die!" He didn't understand how this was all on him now. Harry wanted him. Harry had _said_ he wanted Eggsy, over and over again. He'd never said anything but. And yet here was Landon, painting a picture where Eggsy was the inconvenience. Eggsy had imagined fighting for Harry's honour, even if he barely had a chance. He'd imagined this could be settled by something far more straightforward than the nuances Landon laid down. 

"And you have lied. Repetitively. To Harry, to me, to everyone else. To a psychologist. To a court of law. To your mother." Landon crossed his arms. He was well aware that he was saying more than was prudent, but Eggsy was proving far more irritating than any of the trainees he'd dealt with. Worse, because a little voice in the back of his head was pointing out exactly _why_ he was taking things so personally and _why_ Eggsy was getting right under his skin. "Lying for personal desires and gains is different than lying to protect. Neither of us were permitted to tell you."

Eggsy froze. 

He knew. Landon _knew_. Harry had told him when Harry had told Eggsy they could never tell anyone. When Harry said they couldn't touch in public or kiss or act like they were together at all. When Harry had asked him to lie. Eggsy's head was swimming. If Landon knew all that, if he was on Harry's side, on _their_ side, then why didn't he understand? Eggsy had thought he'd been lying to protect Harry. 

"I didn't lie to Harry," was all Eggsy could think to say. He knew that much, even if nothing else made sense any longer. 

Eggsy's eyes latched on the door. Before Landon could respond, he bolted for it. 

Landon cursed and ran after him. Eggsy got out the door and a short ways down the hall before Landon caught him. A few passersby gave them odd looks, but kept walking. Staff weren't used to seeing children on site, but that didn't mean that they wanted to get involved.

Landon's arms wrapped around Eggsy's and held him in place. " _Stop_ ," he hissed. "Or do you want to get shot? You've met our nervous security team already, and portions of headquarters have automatic security measures. I can't protect you if you run off and do something stupid, and then what am I going to tell Harry, when he rushes back to find you stretched out in a hospital bed? Hmm?"

" _I don't care! Let me go!_ " Eggsy wailed. He was reeling. He wanted to run and hide, just wanted to get away. "He told you, didn't he? _Didn't he?_ " Eggsy couldn't make sense of it, that Harry would tell in the first place, nor why Landon resented Eggsy if he'd been helping keep their secret. He kicked and flailed but it was no use. Landon lifted him straight off the ground and Eggsy's trainers did nothing, flying through the air. 

Landon's hand clamped over Eggsy's mouth as he lifted him. Landon was stronger than he looked, and the move was sudden enough to shock Eggsy for a moment or two. That was all the man needed to get them back in his office. This time, once he set Eggsy on the floor, he locked the door for good measure.

"Just because I know doesn't mean that everyone else here does, or that there won't be consequences for that getting out, you _idiot_ child," Landon snapped. "I've known Harry for years. I figured it out, and then I agreed to help him when he asked."

Eggsy didn't even try to respond; he was crying too hard. He couldn't get out of Landon's grasp, so he just collapsed. "If you're h-helping, then _why do you hate me?_ " Eggsy sobbed. The more information that came out, the more Eggsy was confounded. He'd gone from trusting Landon over anyone else there, to fear and jealousy, and right back to wanting Landon on his side again. "I lied all those times to keep Harry safe. I didn't want to." Maybe Landon blamed him if Harry was in trouble, or if Landon himself was in trouble with his boss. Maybe Landon blamed him for all of this. 

Landon's mouth pressed into a frustrated line. He dug into a pocket and retrieved a clean white handkerchief. He pressed the cloth into Eggsy's hands. "Please sit down and stop crying." The boy, of course, was too distraught to comply, and Landon sighed. "I don't hate you. I resent you for having things I cannot, and for taking up a great deal of time and attention with one of the very, very, very rare individuals I happen to like and be able to stand for more than an hour's time. We both care about Harry and want him protected, which means that we're on the same side and I have a vested interest in protecting you. You make Harry happy, and I take pains to ensure he stays that way."

Eggsy took the handkerchief and stared at Landon, trying to stifle his crying. By the time he managed hitched breaths, he no longer felt like fleeing quite so bad. He wasn't sure how to feel about what Landon revealed. Part of it was calming, but part of it stung. A lot. Landon had stepped back enough for Eggsy to, very tentatively, find his chair again and draw himself up in it, still wiping his nose. 

Eggsy had no idea what to say to that. Landon didn't like him, but he didn't hate him either. Landon was still helping him, but it didn't sound like he wanted to. Eggsy's eye caught on the wall where tea still dripped. He didn't feel much guilt for doing what he'd done, but he didn't feel good about it either. He took a breath and slid back out of his seat to go and pick up the pieces of the mug. 

Landon watched him for a moment, then knelt. Baxter had shied away from all the commotion and was curled up in the dog bed under the desk, making a very poor show at hiding. Landon coaxed him out and wondered, not for the first time, why things couldn't be so much simpler with people. Animals made sense, once he understood their nature. People could be manipulated and predicted to a certain extent, but there was a reason he wasn't a field agent beyond his love of solitude and technology.

Eggsy put all the pieces he could find in a rubbish bin and found some paper towels to wipe up the rest. He moved on autopilot. He felt like he'd felt too much that day and just couldn't feel any more. Landon's presence wasn't lost on him though, and it was...somewhat comforting, Eggsy supposed, that the man had knelt down to the floor for his dog instead of remaining aloof or watching Eggsy from a distance. 

When Eggsy was finished tossing the paper towels in the bin, he glanced at them. Instinct told him to make things right, somehow, but he wasn't sure if he was welcome. Tentatively, Eggsy took a step closer.

"You know, I've heard from Harry about how much he enjoys you living with him, but we never get a chance to talk. How are you liking things?" Landon kept his voice low and even, and he only glanced at Eggsy now and then, keeping most of his attention on Baxter's cheerful, oblivious form. He didn't know much about how to talk with upset children, but he did know about skittish animals. "Aside from, of course, finding out about Harry's work like this. Harry didn't want to lie about it, any more than other employees here want to lie to their family and friends."

Eggsy swallowed, but he knelt down on Baxter's other side and reached to pet the dog. "I like it a lot," Eggsy said finally. "I miss my mum sometimes, but...I don't have to worry about stuff at Harry's place. I can do whatever I want." Eggsy was tempted to glance up, to try to measure Landon's reaction, but something told him he wouldn't be able to, so he kept his eyes on Baxter, happily being petted by two people at once. With the knowledge that Landon knew about him and Harry, that Landon wanted to help for whatever reason...he didn't seem like so much of a threat as he had before, even if Eggsy was still trying to parse out exactly what Harry meant to the man. Landon had sounded just now a lot like Eggsy had felt when he was angry that someone else was close to Harry. Eggsy spent a long moment trying to figure out what to say. "He told me you guys have been friends for a long time. An'...that if anything ever happened, that I should trust you."

"Harry knows that I value our friendship enough that I'd take you in or do whatever was necessary to help you, if something happened. Because I already know the delicacy of the situation and what's going on, there's no need for explanations or worrying about my reaction. The same could not be said of everyone." Landon paused. Some pieces of a child's mindset were alien to him, but others he could guess at fairly well. Landon knew what he would be upset about had their positions been reversed. "No one else knows. I figured things out, and Harry trusts me, and those are the only reasons that I happen to know. If I hadn't guessed, I don't know that Harry would have told me."

Eggsy nodded and did look up then. Landon's face was expressionless again, but the hardness wasn't there so much any longer. Or at least Eggsy thought so. Eggsy thought about what he would say to one of his friends if they'd been in a fight. All this was so strange because he'd always wanted to be treated like an adult with Harry, and here he was being treated that way by so many people so very suddenly. "I didn't mean to be mean to you," Eggsy said quietly. "I just thought...." He'd thought Landon would somehow take Harry away. "I was just scared. An' I'm sorry I broke your cup."

"Apology accepted. I'm sorry I yelled at you, as well. I have a bit of a temper and a dislike of being blamed when not at fault, or when trying to help." Landon looked up at Eggsy again, hoping the boy was settled enough that direct eye contact wouldn't shake him. "I got worried when you started yelling and making like you were going to run off. I didn't know if you were going to get hurt, or say the wrong thing where someone might overhear, and then we'd have even more problems to deal with. I didn't want to have to face Harry only to tell him that you'd been shot by a spooked security guard, or activated the wrong piece of machinery, or that the wrong person had heard you and he was going to face charges."

Eggsy nodded, meeting Landon's gaze with a little more confidence. Landon's accusations just before all that whispered in the back of his mind, but Eggsy decided not to comment on being accused of lying about something that Landon already knew. Maybe that was what he meant about having a temper. 

"I wasn't gonna tell anybody...," Eggsy said, glancing away and back with a bit of hope growing in his chest, "but I always kinda did want it not to be a secret, y'know?"

"You wouldn't tell anyone on purpose but, as we've found out, people say a number of things that they don't mean when upset," Landon pointed out. "I can appreciate why you don't want it to be secret. No one likes to feel like their emotions, thoughts, and all the things dearest to them would be violently rejected and punished by others. You won't have to keep your relationship a secret forever. When you're older, people will still have a negative reaction due to the difference in your ages and your adopted status. There will still be things to worry about, but you'll no longer have to fear that Harry will be arrested."

Eggsy blinked. He hadn't expected that kind of reassurance. Especially not from Landon. He'd only dared to hope for such things in the confines of his own mind, and occasionally with Harry. "You really think so?" Eggsy asked, eager to hear more. "When I'm older none of this'll matter, even if some people don't like it? Harry an' me could act like a real couple?" All traces of shyness and hesitation fell away, and he knew he was perking up, getting a little too excited at the thought of it, but he really couldn't help it. 

"You'll still have to worry about some things. Your relationship will still be somewhat taboo, because people are still close-minded regarding same-sex couples, or couples with age gaps. It may be dangerous for you to go some places and be open, but the same could be said for any other same-sex couple in those places." Eggsy was radiating energy and enthusiasm, and Landon had to clamp down on his instinct to pull away. "You'll have to sever your formal adoption in some way, or else your relationship may be viewed as illegal, and people will treat you strangely if they learn you were Harry's adopted son before you became his adult partner. You likely won't be able to tell people the truth about how your relationship started. You will not, however, have to hide it forever."

Eggsy broke into a grin. He couldn't quite express how relieving it was to hear that from someone else, someone who knew about these things. He couldn't wait to see that day. 

"I think I'd be fine with that. Not tellin' people 'bout Harry adoptin' me. Prob'ly wouldn't by then, would it?" Eggsy went back to petting Baxter, imagining Harry and himself, older, as tall as Harry, with his first job and his own car, living out in the world, and being able to kiss Harry in public. Even if a few people didn't like it, they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. 

Landon said little. He knew all too well how the situation was likely to turn out. Eggsy could very well feel different once he was older. So could Harry, for that matter. Nothing constructive would come from speaking about such things, however: Eggsy wouldn't be receptive to having his fantasies so brutally crushed. Landon would have to watch, and wait, and the time might come when he would have to break Harry's fall.

"Have you thought about what you want to do, when you're older?" Landon thought that was a far safer topic. 

Eggsy opened his mouth to say something about the military, but was suddenly brought up short. "I...always thought about how my dad was in the forces, an' how maybe that would be somethin' I could do, too. But...he wasn't, was he? Or...," Eggsy scrunched his face up, trying to figure out how everyone here knew Lee, and how Harry's story of Eggsy's father could have matched up with his real job. "Was he a spy, too? Was that how he really died?"

"Both, actually. Your father was recruited while in training in the forces. We had an open position for a new field agent." Landon turned his gaze back down to the dog that was still lounging contently in front of them. He may not have been the most skilled at tact, but he knew that questions about Eggsy's father could prove to be another emotional trigger point. "He was in one of the first training classes I led, actually. Lee was in the running as the candidate with the highest marks, the most likely to be recruited and placed as an agent. At the very end of training, he and a few other potential candidates went on a trial mission with Harry, myself, and a few other agents. The mission ended up being more serious than we anticipated. An enemy combatant pulled a weapon that would have been enough to kill most of the team, including Harry and myself, and Lee rushed him. He knew it would be fatal, and he made the decision to act quicker than anyone else. Your mother couldn't be told what he was doing, any more than the families of a great many employees here."

Eggsy stared. An old and familiar ache settled into his chest, renewed with this new information. What Harry had told him had been vague, but...it did line up with what Landon was telling him now. The field mission at the end of Lee's training for a new position. The way he had saved Harry's life. Eggsy nodded and tried to push the hurt down, still raw whenever he thought about it. 

"I always thought about doin' somethin' like that, but 'suppose it's a bit different than I thought," Eggsy admitted. "So I dunno. Jus' gettin' outta the estates was enough."

"The military is always dangerous, and positions here even more so. The work is rewarding, and often exciting, but it does impose limitations on your life. As I'm sure you can imagine, given your experiences with Harry." Landon gave Eggsy a pointed look. "You don't get to pick when you have to travel. You don't get to be choosy about what missions or work you are assigned. Your career requires you to lie to your loved ones who aren't also employees, for their safety as well as yours, and many do not get to have loved ones or families. You make an impact on the world, but you make a great number of sacrifices to do so, and you can never take the credit you deserve."

Eggsy nodded. He wasn't sure he wanted to do that. He'd never _really_ thought about being a spy before, not outside of wild Bond-like fantasies. He'd always thought joining the army would be tough, would take him away from home and all over the world, but he also never thought about having to hide what he did. Part of the appeal, the fantasy ideal he'd made in his mind, was taking care of his mum, making her proud just like his father had. 

Looking at Landon, with the man's sharp features and the way he could make his eyes go cold and how reserved he could be, Eggsy figured he was made for the work. Now that Eggsy knew what he really did, it seemed to fit. It was hard even to imagine him going back to just being a particularly austere tailor again. Or ever having the same uncertainty Eggsy was feeling now about his life. But Eggsy also didn't really want to think about what he was going to do when he was older. It seemed like such a long time from now. 

"You like bein' a spy?" Eggsy asked. 

"I do. I get work that I enjoy, and opportunities I wouldn't have if I had a different career. I'm not much for people to begin with, so it wasn't a great hardship to adopt the social restrictions required for this work." Landon shrugged. "It's not like the movies, or the books. Your side doesn't always win. The same is true for a conventional soldier. Not everyone ends up to be a good fit for this, but I can't imagine a different sort of life."

Eggsy nodded. Never before did he think he'd have to live with so many secrets. Doing that for a job, too, was hard to imagine. 

Eggsy asked Landon more about his father, and more about the organisation, and surprisingly, Landon was open. He responded in calm, measured tones, telling Eggsy a little about the places Harry had been to, places he'd sent Eggsy pictures of, and why he'd really been there. They didn't move for a long time, but when Eggsy's thoughts eventually began to linger on Harry coming back and he grew tired of conversation, Landon set him up at one of the workstations and pulled up a computer game for him to play. After so much upheaval, Eggsy was glad to have something simple to focus on, even if half his mind was still racing. 

Landon didn't turn the room's many screens back on, but he resumed whatever he'd been doing on his laptop. Time passed in companionable silence that was much more relaxed than Eggsy had felt around Landon before. They didn't exactly have an understanding, but the thread of tension and uncertainty had vanished, more so than even the time right after Landon had taken him out shooting and watching martial arts.

Landon's taste in sports, in retrospect, made a lot more sense.

Some time later, a polite rap sounded at the door. Landon got to his feet and peered through the security monitor. When he unlocked and opened the door, Harry stood on the other side.


	26. Chapter 26

Harry's hair was in disarray. His suit was rumpled. He looked exhausted, but wired, like he was running on fumes, but his eyes locked onto Eggsy, half out of his chair at the desk, right away. 

" _Eggsy_." In one motion, Harry stepped inside and crossed the room in three neat steps. While Landon shut the door behind him, he gathered Eggsy up into his arms and lifted him off the floor. Right away Eggsy could feel how hard Harry was breathing, like he'd all but run down there to find them. 

Eggsy held on like Harry was going to disappear if he didn't. Everything flooded back to him in that moment. Eggsy wanted to cry. He wanted to kiss Harry, and he wanted to yell and hit him. Most of all he wanted to be held and reassured - that Harry wasn't going to get in trouble, that he wasn't going to get taken away, that he'd only lied because he'd had to and he wouldn't lie to Eggsy anymore.

"'m sorry I followed, but I found stuff in the house and I had to know, and then I got guns pointed at me and... and you were _supposed_ to tell me if there was more dangerous stuff in the house but you _didn't_. I don't want you to lie to me but I don't want you to go away. It's not really bad, that I know things now, right?"

"No, Eggsy, it isn't. It'll be ok. And I'm sorry, I am so sorry...." Harry sank to his knees, burying his face in Eggsy's neck, holding him just this side of too tight and stroking his hair. "I never wanted you to find out like this. I wanted to tell you myself, someday when you were ready. I'm so sorry...." Harry didn't seem to care that Landon was watching, even though he couldn't have known that Eggsy now new about Landon's knowledge of their relationship. Eggsy felt Harry's lips press to the side of his neck and hold there before Harry moved to the more appropriate spot on his cheek. "Are you alright?"

"No. Well... kinda, but not really." Eggsy still was raw, and the numbing vibrations of shock still filled his body and mind even after a few hours, but he was... more settled. Landon and Baxter had helped a little, but things were only starting to get better now that Harry was right there in his arms. "Nobody hurt me or nothin'. I wanna go home, but I'm guessin' we can't. I didn't mean to get you in trouble. You just-... a knife came out of your shoe, and your glasses were funny, and I saw one room was a lift, and I wanted to find out the truth."

Eggsy had never seen Harry look so pained, or so guilty. He cupped the side of Eggsy's head and nodded. "You must have had no idea what to think." Harry was surely remembering Eggsy's questions about the mafia. Harry closed his eyes. "I know I promised to tell you about those things. I couldn't...I could keep most of them out of the house, but not all, and not all the time. I couldn't keep that promise." Harry opened his eyes and looked straight into Eggsy, his brows furrowed, his brown eyes searching, hopeful, _desperate_. "But do you...do you understand why? Did Landon tell you what I am, what this place is?" 

"You're spies, or somethin', and Landon says you're not allowed to tell anyone. And that that's why mum didn't know that dad was really a spy, and how he really died." Eggsy frowned in return, and his fingers picked at the cuffs of his sleeves. "I don't know why you couldn't tell me, though, because you _know_ I can keep secrets. I never told anybody any secrets, but you told Landon stuff that was supposed to be secret. Or... well, he said he figured it out, but you still told him and didn't tell me about that _either_."

Harry glanced to Landon and then back to Eggsy and Eggsy knew he'd caught Harry off guard. Still, Harry's composure didn't change much. His fingers threaded through Eggsy's hair. "He did figure it out. On his own. I had to, and I know I can trust Sean. I didn't want you to worry. I know...the two of you got off to a bit of a rocky start and....I didn't want to make it harder for you." Harry sighed, a sad smile curling at the corner of his mouth. "One secret at a time, I thought. And that was my failing." Harry had lowered himself to Eggsy’s height with the boy sitting on his lap and Harry still wrapped around him, it made Eggsy the taller of the two for once with the way Harry folded himself down to get close. "Can you forgive me?" Harry asked quietly. 

Eggsy was silent for a few seconds. Harry waited patiently, and eventually the boy shifted uneasily and looked up. "Don't lie to me anymore, alright? I don't care if it makes me worry. You don't have to worry about me tellin' anyone, I promise. I don't wanna feel like there's... all sorts of stuff I don't know about you, or like you can't tell me stuff. Some of the stuff you didn't tell me about was dangerous." Eggsy rocked back and forth in Harry's embrace, burning off nervous energy through the motion. "I forgive you. I just don't want you keepin' secrets from me anymore."

"Okay," Harry whispered. "Okay." His fingers curled around the back of Eggsy's neck before he drew Eggsy in for a kiss to the forehead. Harry wrapped his arms around Eggsy again, pulling him in close, tucking his head under Harry's chin. It felt like Harry was afraid of losing Eggsy, of him slipping away right then and there. Just as Eggsy had been afraid of Harry being taken away hours ago. Eggsy felt another kiss to the top of his head while Harry held him. 

They sat like that for a long minute before Harry moved again, looking up at Landon. "Arthur's asked to see me. And you as well."

"Of course he has," Landon sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose to stave off a wave of irritation. "Although I don't know why he wants to see me. I'm not in charge of headquarters security, and I'm hardly to blame for Eggsy deciding to sneak in. It won't matter, as I'm supposed to be omniscient."

"Is that your boss, Arthur?" Eggsy piped up. His features were stricken with worry again. Eggsy knew what it meant when an official at school wanted to see you, and the experience was never pleasant. "What's he gonna do? Harry?"

"Probably give me detention." Harry gave him a wry smile, but he grew more serious. "Try not to worry.” Harry brushed his fingers through Eggsy's hair one more time before he climbed to his feet, helping Eggsy up along the way. "I need you to stay here for the time being, and not to leave. No matter how curious you are, no matter how long it takes, I need you not to go wandering through the halls. This is very, very important. Do you understand?" Harry levelled Eggsy with a look more serious than Eggsy had seen on him in recent memory. It wasn't cold, nor stern like Landon's, but he knew Harry meant it. 

"But..." Fear raced through Eggsy's veins. For only a moment, he entertained the thought of what might happen if Harry never came back. Eggsy would sit, trapped in the stark little room with only Baxter for company, until he finally gave up and went to escape, only for the guards to hunt him through the building. Eggsy swallowed. "I won't," he amended. "But you're coming back soon, right? I don't want to wait here for hours and hours by myself."

"I will come back as soon as I can. It won't be hours. And if I absolutely have to, I'll send someone for you. Sean is head of our operations and there is no place more secure than this room." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder. Harry glanced around and could see that Eggsy had been using the space although it was doubtful that a few computer games could keep him occupied while he waited now, wondering what was happening to Harry in some hallway on the other end of the building.

Eggsy nodded but didn't look any happier. Waiting had already stretched him thin. He was tired out, bored from being stuck in one place so long, and still very scared. Adults lied, after all. He knew that very well now. His mother had often told him lies about how good things were to keep him from worrying, and Landon and Harry could be doing the same thing. "Will you... tell me about it, when you get back? And we can go home?"

Harry didn't smile and reassure him. In fact, the elder man's mouth thinned a little. "Arthur may want to speak with you, or have me speak with you, before we leave. This is a very...unusual circumstance you've managed to get yourself into. We might be asked to stay for a while longer yet." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder again at his pained look. "Whatever comes of it, I'll be back soon. Will you be alright by yourself until then?"

"Y-yeah. I guess." Eggsy didn't sound certain, but he knew there wasn't another option. He would have to be alright with staying in the room until they could leave. Baxter's presence made the idea less depressing than it would have been otherwise, but Eggsy's entire day had been spent waiting. Waiting to get into the shop. Waiting for someone to activate the lift. Waiting to see what was on the other side of the underground railway. Waiting for Harry while trapped in a room with Landon. All Eggsy wanted to do was go home and warm up the chill that had spread through him starting from the moment he'd seen what Harry's glasses could do. "I don't really want to talk to this Arthur though."

"Duly noted." Harry nodded and let his palm drop with finality. "I'll avoid it if at all possible." He turned to Landon and with little more than a look passed between them, Landon went for the door. Harry straightened his suit and gave Eggsy a small smile. "Wish me luck," he said before he turned on his heel and followed Landon out the door. 

It clicked shut behind them, the gentle sound belying the weight of the steel door. Eggsy could already guess that it was locked from the inside as well as the outside. 

With inches of steel between them, Harry gave a long sigh before he started moving again, coming up to Merlin's side as they walked. "What the hell happened after he got here?"

"Security panicked, as you might imagine. They thought our headquarters had been discovered and that a security loophole had been found that would allow children soldiers or suicide bombers to sneak in. It was fortunate that one of the audio channels I had running in the background was for headquarters. It only took a glance at the screen to determine it was Eggsy, but the staff didn't recognize him and were ready to shoot on the off chance that he was wired for detonation." Merlin huffed out a sigh. "Training has to improve. If our personnel are so flustered by an unusual occurrence, we can't assume that they won't panic and make a situation worse in the event of a real emergency."

Harry wasn't thinking of security personnel. All he could see in his mind's eye was Eggsy, running terrified through the halls of headquarters with the men Harry had worked with for the past decade hot on his heels. Harry could feel his face setting into hard, familiar lines. 

"And he knows you know?" Harry ran through every scenario on how that could have happened and he didn't like any of them. If that got out to anyone other than Merlin and Eggsy, Harry needed to hear about it now. He'd been struck off guard badly enough in front of the boy. 

Merlin went quiet. He wasn't proud of how he'd handled the situation, regardless of the provocation. "He does. I'll have to brief you on what I told him. He connected things back to your comment about trusting me if something went wrong. Rather than have him think that you told him one thing while doing another, I claimed that I guessed, which isn't terribly far from the truth of the matter."

Harry nodded once, the knot in his chest unfurling by degrees. Merlin had done the right thing, and it was in fact very close to the truth. 

"No one else overheard?" Harry asked as they turned the corner and stepped into the elevator that would take them up to Arthur's office. They didn't have much time, but Harry had to be sure that he could anticipate Arthur's understanding of the situation. If there were rumours flying about, then Harry would have to contend with that as well. 

"No one. Eggsy threw a fit in my office." Harry would know what that meant. Merlin's office was the only place in headquarters that he was certain was secure. Merlin regularly swept it for cameras and listening devices. The chance that anyone else had managed to sneak an undetected device in and heard the conversation was very remote. "I expect that Arthur will be preoccupied with how Eggsy figured out the lift existed at all, and whether he can be trusted to keep quiet. He doesn't like to leave loose ends scattered about."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes, steeling himself. "Thank you, Merlin."

That hardly should have conveyed what Harry meant, but he had a feeling Merlin would hear it regardless. They stood in a moment of silence before the lift slid to a smooth halt and the doors chimed. Harry took the lead as they stepped out into the gilded halls of the mansion. Arthur's request for Merlin's accompaniment had to be based on more of a hunch than anything. Harry knew he'd not been so careless as to let Arthur come into suspicion of their side projects, but the man was no fool.

More than enough evidence was already there, after all. Merlin had been seen being unusually sociable with Harry and been involved in assignment redistributions. Some sort of bond was between them. Speculations aside, Arthur would want to know who to hold accountable for the security complication they now faced, and blaming the two staff members that tended to irritate him was more acceptable than admitting to the fact that their protocols and headquarters design had security flaws.

At the end of the hall, both men stopped. Merlin rapped on the closed door before opening it to let them both in. Arthur was already waiting behind his desk. In another life, the man might have had a kindly, grandfatherly air to him, but Arthur was all sharpness and ice and simmering disapproval.

He waited for the agents to step inside and close the door behind them to speak. "Galahad, I presume you've been informed of the situation?" Not waiting for them to take a chair was less than proper form, but it was merely one more sign of how furious Arthur was. He steamrolled on before Harry could respond. "I want to know how it happened, whether you've divulged information about our organization to this new ward of yours or whether you were careless enough for him to find out on his own." 

Harry scowled and pulled up a chair while Merlin did the same beside him. "He found out on his own, and _not_ due to my neglecting protocol." 

Arthur scowled even further until he wore an expression far more disapproving than Harry's. He turned to Merlin next. "Would you say that's a fair assessment of the situation?"

"I would. Galahad has never been the sort to let sentiment or complacency put Kingsman or a mission at risk." Merlin didn't so much as glance at Harry. Breaking eye contact with Arthur would only make him more suspicious that they had something to hide and were coordinating their efforts. "As I'm sure you know, I've visited Galahad's home while the boy was in residence. I never saw anything out of place, never saw protocol not being followed. Protocol was designed to withstand investigation from an adult, however, and children's minds work in different ways."

Arthur didn't look like he liked that response at all. "Plenty of knights have had children before. I realise you're essentially a single parent now, Galahad, but that's hardly an excuse."

"Some of us are not content letting nannies take over the care of our families," Harry grumbled. "And plenty of those same knights _told_ their children exactly what they were doing when the children were old enough. You well know how much of a family business this is."

"I _very well do_ ," Arthur fairly growled. "Which is another reason I'm wondering why you let a boy _adopted_ , the son of your failed little experiment, get so close to knowing such things. _Especially_ without consulting the organization first."

Harry raised a brow and otherwise remained motionless. "Considering that he just showed all of us up, I would hesitate to call that experiment 'failed'."

"I doubt, as well, that other knights were keeping their offspring in the dark as completely as claimed," Merlin added. "Inevitably they end up in the same position as Harry's ward. They're close enough that discrepancies begin to appear and they begin to doubt the explanations that they're being given. It speaks well to the boy's potential that he was observant, clever, and had sufficient physical skills to be able to figure things out or access parts of the house so quickly. He's had a fraction of the time and experience of other knights' children, yet managed to see past everything."

Arthur's gaze fell to Merlin, disapproving and frustrated. Perhaps he'd half expected the tech agent to back up his position in opposition to Harry. Arthur couldn't have been totally that naive, but the part of him that was so used to getting what he wanted might have been hoping. 

"I am not happy about this," Arthur said finally. "That boy is not one of us. There are reasons why it is safer to relax the regulations around our own than it is to outsiders, and _most_ agents understand that." Arthur ignored Harry's deepening scowl. "I would hesitate to give the boy undue praise for what may have very well been a fluke or a lax in our own security. But now that he's here I'd like some reassurance that he won't be going off to tell anybody." Arthur folded his hands in front of him and leaned forward, fixing Harry in a stare. "Is that something you can assure me won't happen? Because if not, we will have to find other arrangements for the boy." 

"I can assure you of his silence on the matter." Harry was absolutely still when he replied. Only Merlin could detect how tightly he was holding himself. 

"From what I know of the boy, he has limited people in his life that he could tell. He's estranged from his entire family, and with good reason. He's begun to see fewer of his old friends, and I'm assuming that Galahad intends to transition him to a public school, where he'd be around the children of families we have ties to." Merlin crossed his legs. The gesture did exactly what it was supposed to do; a show of confidence and informality drew Arthur's attention away from Harry. Merlin could weather Arthur's displeasure. Arthur didn't dare get rid of him. He wasn't replaceable, and as such was more value alive than dead, knew too much to be permitted to walk, and performed too well to not be essential to operations. Merlin cleared his throat and continued. "If necessary, it wouldn't be difficult to increase surveillance."

"I was about to suggest it," Arthur replied, glancing at Harry and then back to Merlin. "And I'd like you to oversee it. As you said, you have some familiarity with the boy already, and I trust you will not be as swayed by Galahad's charms as other techs have been in the past." Harry rolled his eyes. "But if either of you object, I'm sure we can work _something_ else out." 

Harry allowed his jaw to tighten, a minor twitch but one that wouldn't escape Arthur's attention, and nodded. "I'm willing." 

"I have no objections. This is a perfect opportunity to test our filament trackers. I'll need access to the boy's clothing to install them, but that will hardly be a chore." Merlin's gave turned upwards as he did a few calculations. "If you grant access for me to requisition a few personnel, it shouldn't take hardly any time to scout and install some street cameras. We can alter the boy's phone within the hour, as we have plenty of control chips to filter, block, and monitor calls."

Arthur nodded. "Take all the available equipment and personnel you need. If anything like this happens again, I want to know about it while we have time to prevent it. And Galahad, I do not want to be bothered by this again. If that boy of yours shows any indication of tattling, there will be no 'next time'." 

Harry nodded, letting Arthur see a graveness replace his usually optimistic expression. 

"You'll also be on lockdown and make up duty for the foreseeable future. Any shit jobs that come in are going straight to you, no arguments. And now that your boy knows what you're up to, there should be no need to avoid long absences." 

Harry's jaw tightened for real that time, but again he nodded. "Understood." 

Arthur sat back and gave him a long look before he nodded in return. "Then you're dismissed. And Merlin, anything strange at all--I want to know about it. Otherwise, I don't want to hear about this incident ever again."

"Understood, sir." Merlin got to his feet, still giving Arthur his full attention. "I'll be documenting the additional security precautions. The report will be available if you care to see it. Otherwise, I won't bother you with the logistics."

When Arthur waved a hand in dismissal, Merlin gave a sharp nod and turned towards the door. 

Harry followed. The click of the door behind them sounded ominously loud in the quiet of the manor hallway. They walked a few minutes in silence, putting distance between themselves and Arthur's office.

"...all things considered, that could have been far worse."

Harry took a deep breath. "It will be if this ever happens again." They stepped into the lift and headed back down, but Harry was itching to talk. "It goes without saying that I can't allow that."   
Easier said than done, and they both knew it. Eggsy knew about Kingsman now and that would put a damper on his curiosity. Harry could tell him many things that he hadn't been able to before, but...there was still much that Harry could not reveal. Much that had little to do with Kingsman. 

Harry reached out and stopped the lift, knowing they wouldn't have much time to hold it, but speaking in the middle of the hall was too inconvenient. He felt long overdue tiredness seeping into him as he turned to Merlin, shoulders slumping with the weight of it. "Thank you. For all of this."

"You're welcome." Merlin's gaze skimmed Harry, taking in the exhaustion. Harry was normally so playfully optimistic that the change worry had enacted upon him was appalling. Merlin's hand twitch, half-rose, then fell back to his side. "We'll have to talk more, some other time. There won't be time for it now. Eggsy will need to go home, and Arthur will want me to begin work immediately. I'll update you on what I've done when I can. As far as convincing Eggsy not to talk, that will have to fall on you."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded. A weary smile touched his lips. "I know, I know. I think some rest will do wonders on that front. And I think we could all use some." He clapped his hand around Merlin's shoulder and squeezed, seeing as the other man wouldn't do it himself. Harry allowed himself a moment's more to feel the tiredness and then straightened again, pressing the button to resume the lift. They stood shoulder to shoulder in silence for a minute more and then stepped back into the halls of Kingsman's underbelly. 

The long walk to Merlin's office drew Harry's insides tighter and tighter, not knowing how Eggsy would be feeling by the time they arrived. They paused only briefly outside the door, exchanging a glance before Merlin raised his key card. 

Eggsy had climbed up onto Landon's chair and slumped across the empty bit of desk - a spot that immediately made Landon frown. Eggsy sat up the moment he heard the door open and saw the two men step inside. The boy's gaze locked on Harry, who hadn't quite managed to disguise all of his fatigue and worry. "Harry? Are... did things go okay? Do we get to go home now? I don't have to talk to anybody, do I?"

Harry gave him a tired smile. "We can go home." He stepped closer to Eggsy and drew him off the chair. Harry's arm wrapped around him in a tight embrace. "Everything is alright, although I will need to talk to you when we get back. There are things you need to know. And I'm sure you have many questions still. But all of that can wait." Harry watched his hands sliding through Eggsy's hair as the boy tucked himself into Harry's waist. Today was such a close call. A part of Harry thrilled at the thought of being open with Eggsy about his work. The possibilities.... The way Eggsy might look at him more often like he did when Harry talked about working with Lee in the forces years ago.... But Harry quickly restrained the notion. There were so many reasons Eggsy might look at him in fear instead if he were to regale the boy with tales of everything he's ever done for the organization. He raised his eyes to catch Merlin as the tech agent moved into the room. 

Merlin looked everywhere but at the pair of them. He had turned to one of the cabinets to unlock it and pull out a book Harry remembered well - equipment and work hour requisitions. Merlin likely already knew exactly what he needed to do and what was required to achieve that, but a pretence at work was better than the alternative: projecting just how uncomfortable he was with the situation and the reunion in his office. 

"I just want to go. Let's just go." Eggsy's voice was muffled from where he was pressed against Harry's shirt front. "You can yell at me later if you want. I'm not going to try to sneak back here again."

"Yes, yes, we'll be on our way." But Harry paused in leading Eggsy towards the door. He wasn't sure what happened exactly while he'd been on that flight, but what he could piece together told him that Eggsy and Merlin had some rather serious conversations. Both of them had seemed to be on relatively decent terms by the time Harry arrived, unless he was mistaken, but the one thing he knew for sure was that Merlin had saved Eggsy and had kept him from getting into even worse trouble. When Eggsy looked up at him questioningly, Harry raised his brows and glanced in Merlin's direction. "Do you have anything to say to Sean before we go?"

Eggsy clung to Harry, turning himself just enough until he could see Harry's friend. They'd gotten to know one another a bit better, but Eggsy didn't know what to make of the man, and Landon was still intimidating. "Um... sorry again. About the mug and the yellin' and all that. It was nice to meet Baxter."

"I'm sure he enjoyed meeting someone new. That doesn't happen very often." Landon looked up from the binder he'd been perusing. The sight of Eggsy curled around Harry's waist summoned a flicker of an expression that was almost instantly suppressed. "Try to stay out of trouble. Remember what we talked about."

Eggsy nodded and once it was clear that that was all he had to say, Harry gave Landon a brief smile, one that he hoped convey everything they'd discussed and how soon they would talk again, before he turned and led Eggsy out into the hall. 

"I don't suppose you've brought anything that we're forgetting about, no?" Harry asked and Eggsy shook his head. "C'mon, then. Back to the tube." Harry led Eggsy, arm around his shoulders, through the winding, sterile halls until they became familiar as the ones Eggsy had first seen when he arrived. The entrance to the tube platform where he'd been accosted by security was particularly memorable, but not for its view of the hanger below. 

Eggsy shied away from the few people they passed, staying withdrawn until they got into the tube and were being whisked away from the undergrounds headquarters and all the people in it. Eggsy kept staring at Harry, looking for clues about what had happened - with the trip he now knew was a mission, or the meeting with the person called Arthur - but all he could tell was that Harry was tired. Maybe even a little disappointed.

"Are you mad at me?" the boy finally asked. "I wasn't... tryin' to get you in trouble. I just had to know, after I saw the video."

Harry sighed and let himself slump into the cushioned chair. "I know why you did it. I wish you'd have told me what you'd found before you came here and put all of us in jeopardy, but...I know why." Harry watched Eggsy's face fall as his disappointment settled into the boy's mind. "I...understand why you felt like you couldn't tell me, and why you thought you had to come here to know. And to get me to tell the truth." Harry reached between them and laid his hand over Eggsy's arm. The thought of this destroying things between them weight heavily on his mind. 

"You would have lied if I'd asked," Eggsy stated quietly. It wasn't even a question in his mind. Harry had lied before, when he'd started to spot things that led to this secret. "Like with the gun and stuff. I still don't know why you didn't tell me. You _know_ you can trust me with secrets. I wouldn't have told anyone that you were a spy. I don't really know what it means, like who you spy for and what you do, but..."

Eggsy swallowed and looked down. From that angle he could see yet another difference between them. Harry's legs reached all the way to the floor, while his own dangled off the edge. Dress trousers set against jeans. "I guess it hurts, that you couldn't tell me and kept lying to me. About you, and my dad too. I would've wanted to know what my dad _really_ did, and what happened to him, instead of you tellin' me it was top secret and you couldn't tell me nothin'."

Slowly, Harry bent forward and gathered Eggsy up, guiding him out of his seat and into Harry's lap. This would be on surveillance, he knew, but it was also a very easily explainable gesture after what Eggsy had been through. Harry tucked Eggsy against him and wrapped his arms around the boy's back. 

"I regret that, now," Harry said softly. "I felt that it was something I couldn't risk. Not because of you, but because of them. Kingsman does not condone the unnecessary risk of life, but if they feel they have to, that will not stop them from taking very unpleasant actions against you. I've been warned as much, should anything like this happen again."

Eggsy stiffened. His mouth opened and closed. A thought occurred to him that was so upsetting, Eggsy couldn't help but press closer, as if proximity alone would keep it from happening. "Wait... actions like what? Landon told me that they wouldn't take you away. They _couldn't_. You tried to keep everything secret like they wanted, and I didn't mean any harm by diggin'. I'm not going to tell anyone, I _promise_. I don't want them to take you away."

"I know. It's alright now." Harry stroked Eggsy's back and held him firm. "We just have to make sure it stays that way, and I believe you can. They simply do not have as much confidence. As it stands now, they won't. Sean was telling the truth. But we _cannot_ scare them like that again, okay?" Harry looked into Eggsy's eyes and saw the fear. Eggsy's fists had tightened in his jacket. Harry hated to do this to him, but he couldn't lessen the seriousness of what had happened. 

"I don't even know what scares them. I'm not going to sneak in again, I don't even _want_ to. There was nothing but guns and people who didn't like me and sitting around bein' trapped in Landon's room. There's no reason for me to go there, 'specially if you're not there." The thought of losing Harry filled Eggsy with terror. He couldn't imagine life without him. He couldn't imagine having to go and live anywhere else, even if he went back to his mother. "What don't they want me to do?"

"It's very simple, really. All they want is for you to go on as normal, for you not to try to sneak into their dealings again, and, most importantly, never to reveal their existence." Harry tried to sooth Eggsy with touches, with the comfort of his arms, but it could only do so much. "If you can manage that, there's nothing to fear. And I can help you. Now that you know, there's no reason for me to keep those kinds of secrets from you any longer. We can talk about it together, if you like." 

"Yeah. If it's not going to make them mad. I want to know more, but not so much that I want to risk them takin' you away." Under all of Eggsy's fear, a spark of anger came to life. It wasn't fair for Harry's organization to threaten them like that. He hadn't done anything really wrong, and he'd apologized. Threats didn't seem like something that the good guys would do. "Can you tell me what they do? What they have you do? Or am I not allowed to know?"

"I can tell you that. Perhaps not every detail if there are certain world leaders involved, or other agents, but I can give you a good summary. And we do a little bit of everything, really. We do what the Queen and country cannot do, in terms of secrecy, because we are an unknown agency, unlike MI6, secretive as they are. We are also not beholden to English politics, although I will confess there are a great deal of internal politics within the agency that have had long standing traditions. Nevertheless, it gives us much freer rein to do what needs to be done without the complications of bureaucratic oversight. Kingsman works under its own set of principles, and we do the best we can to make the world a better place." Harry pulled his mouth into a half smile. "I'll think up some memorable missions to tell you about, after we're rested." 

"Is that why you really got hurt that one time? Not a mugging?" Harry's work had to be dangerous, if Eggsy's father had been doing a mission with him when he'd died. Thrilling as it was to know that someone so unique and powerful loved and wanted _him_ , Eggsy couldn't help but think maybe it would have been better if Harry had just been an ex-soldier and tailor. Now every time Harry left the house, Eggsy knew it would be for a mission, and he'd worry. "And... um. Could you really tell me, this time, if there's more dangerous stuff in the house? 'Cause your shoe almost stabbed me while you were gone."

Harry let out a tired laugh and rubbed his face, careful of the glasses. "There are the shoes, and the watch, which you've already found. I usually don't keep them in the house unless I'm taking them back with me, but my cigarette lighter is a--ah....hand grenade." Eggsy's eyes widened and Harry had the sense to look contrite. "I keep an umbrella that doubles as both a shield and a long-barrelled pneumatic projectile device. It also keeps out the rain. I have another weapons cache in the safe in my closet, as well as one hidden in the kitchen and the living room. You already know about the handgun stored in the garage. The house's security system is patched into the Kingsman network, so if anything happens while I'm out, or key in the correct code while I'm there, they will be alerted to an emergency." Eggsy just stared. Harry let his smile dampen somewhat. "And yes, that time I came back injured from a 'mugging'...that was really due to an altercation during a mission."

"...does that happen very often?" A very different sort of fear now settled into the boy's eyes. The idea that Kingsman might take Harry away was only a threat, and one that would never happen so long as he was well-behaved. Harry couldn't quit his job, though, and that meant going off into danger. Danger that Eggsy's own father had only gotten a taste of before it had ended his life. "Do people ever come to the house? They know you're a spy, and that's why you have to have weapons all over?"

"It's a possibility, but it's never happened before. I'd rather have a cache of weapons on hand and not need it than need one and not have it." Harry let his fingers run through Eggsy's hair before he restrained himself from indulging as much as he normally did. "I'm very good at what I do, Eggsy. The times when I come back from a mission with any lasting injury have been few and far between, and I have a very good support team backing me up, Sean being the most notable. I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can."

"So that's why you're good friends? Because he helps you on missions?" Eggsy supposed that made sense. He'd seen movies with similar things: friendships between soldiers working together, or friendships between spies. "Is he like... your Q, or somethin'? Like in James Bond. I'm guessing it's really different from the movies, since everything else seems to be?"

Harry laughed outright at that and let his head fall back against the headrest, looking down at Eggsy fondly. "You'd be surprised. Some of these things get so outlandish.... But yes, Sean is indeed very much like my Q. You could practically say he works magic in that operations room of his." Harry's smile turned crooked again. Tentatively, he began to hope that this could turn out ok, that he and Eggsy would go back and have a nap and a long talk, that Eggsy would still love him and forgive him, and forget about all this business with Kingsman. Because Harry could tell that Eggsy did really love him. 

"I'm still gonna worry. Even if you're really, _really_ good at being a spy. Landon better help take care of you, or... or I'll do more than break his mug." Eggsy had no idea what he could manage to do against an adult with all the gadgetry and power of a spy organization behind him, but he'd do _something_. If Landon and Harry had truly been friends and partners for years, the other man would already know to take care of Harry. The threat simply made Eggsy feel better. "Can you tell me, when you have to go places, when you'll be back and where you're going?"

"I can do that." Harry peered curiously down at Eggsy. "You broke Sean's mug?" He was just about to further that line of questioning when the tube began to slow. Harry looked up and gave Eggsy one last shoulder rub before they came to a halt. He had to set the boy back on his feet, and Eggsy looked even more tired than he'd been back at headquarters. "Definitely time to get you home," Harry said as he led Eggsy back out onto the platform and called for the lift. 

It wasn't long before they were back in the shop again, like stepping out into the real world. Harry nodded a greeting to Dagonet, who returned the gesture without a word as to Eggsy's presence. 

Eggsy stayed as close as he could to Harry without them tripping over one another. Dagonet hadn't looked angry, but then maybe he didn't know how Eggsy had snuck past him. Or maybe he was being polite to Harry. Eggsy didn't think he could take being yelled at or frightened any more that day.

The walk to Harry's car was, thankfully, very short, and the streets weren't as packed with people as they could have been. Everything turned into meaningless background noise. All Eggsy cared about was the sight of Harry walking beside him and the warm feeling of the hand enveloping his own. Eggsy sank into the passenger seat when they reached the car and fought off an urge to sleep.

Harry held onto his hand for as long as he could, and after that, he glanced to Eggsy every few minutes on the ride home. 

Everything was exactly the same as it had been when they stepped through the front door, just waiting for them, but Harry wondered if Eggsy would see it differently now. Even he felt a certain quality of unreality about the house, about the space that had been so normal the last they'd occupied it, and was now changed. 

The door clicked shut behind them and Harry let his hand run along the back of Eggsy's neck. "Would you like to come up to bed?"

Eggsy's stomach took the opportunity to growl. The boy's mouth twisted, first in embarrassment and then in a half-grin, fighting off the urge to laugh. The day had been surreal, but being hungry was familiar and ordinary and oddly grounding. "Yeah. Although I haven't eaten much today, just a bit a breakfast before I left to... wait around and try to see where the lift in the shop went. I don't really care, though. Jus' want to be with you, if you're goin' to bed."

"Let's get you something to eat, or your stomach will keep us both up." Harry offered Eggsy a warm smile as he went into the kitchen to see what he could find. Something quick, but hearty. After that much stress, Harry feared Eggsy would be in dire need of the energy. Eggsy followed, the exhaustion seeping into the hunch of his shoulders and the droop of his eyes, while Harry whipped up sandwiches. Harry was tired from the mission and that much worry over the plane ride, but he was practised at forcing himself on when needed. 

Before long, Harry set a plate before Eggsy and told him to tuck in. Harry was still too stressed to think about eating, himself. 

The sandwich vanished in record time. Eggsy kept his eyes on Harry as he ate. He didn't want to miss a second, after all of his worries about whether Harry was going to be taken away. The boy slid away a plate full of crumbs and got to his feet. "Do we still gotta talk? I'm really tired. Can we just go to sleep? We can talk more tomorrow morning, then, if you want to."

"No, I'd much prefer to just go to bed as well. We can talk later." Harry picked up the plate and put it in the sink before he placed his hand between Eggsy's shoulders again, this time intent on leading him upstairs. 

Eggsy dragged his feet as they went, so Harry picked him up halfway and carried him up to Harry's room. Eggsy was so boneless in his arms that Harry had to set him on the bed and help him remove his clothes before Harry went searching for pyjamas. Inside, he was immeasurably relieved that Eggsy showed no signs of objection to sleeping in Harry's bed, that he let Harry touch him and help him with simple things, like pulling the soft, cotton shirt over his head and didn't shy away. Harry had worried about such things for hours. 

If Eggsy felt betrayed by the lies, it didn't show. Neither had his trust wavered, at least in physical things. Eggsy might prove more reluctant to take Harry's words and explanations at face value in the future, but he turned into Harry's touch. He let Harry help him into his pyjamas and laid quietly on the bed, watching Harry without a hint of mistrust or accusation as he waited for Harry to shed his clothes and join him. When the older man raised his arm, Eggsy scooted into the hollow he'd made without hesitation, a relieved look crossing the boy's face.

Harry wasn't mad at him and he still wanted Eggsy there. There was nowhere else Eggsy would rather be.

Harry drew a finger down his temple, down Eggsy's nose, brushing against his lips, around the curve of his small jaw. It was so light and delicate that Eggsy's eyes closed for a long moment. Harry was so lucky, he thought, to still have this boy. Far more than he deserved, perhaps. He leaned in close and brushed his lips against Eggsy's, as soft as his fingers had been. 

"Let's sleep in tomorrow," Harry murmured. He wanted to keep Eggsy in bed with him, lazy and content, for as long as he could. 

"Yeah..." Harry barely heard Eggsy's reply. The boy was already drifting off now that he was warm, fed, safe, and close to Harry. In mere seconds, Eggsy was asleep. His breathing evened out and deepened, and the tension left his body. Trust was such a fragile thing, hard to restore when broken, but for the moment Harry still possessed it.


	27. Chapter 27

As per Harry's suggestion, even though they'd gone to sleep earlier than their normal bedtime, they slept late into the next morning. Eggsy woke to Harry curled around him and sun shining down upon them through the tall window. It was warm and comfortable and familiar. He had woken up dozens and dozens of times like that on weekends and especially now that he was on summer vacation. 

It took him several long moments to realise that he wasn't just lying comfortably with Harry's arms around him--Harry was awake. His eyes were open, half lidded and lazy, and he was just watching Eggsy. 

"Y'miss me or somethin'?" Eggsy couldn't imagine why Harry would be like that, except if he'd gotten scared one of his coworkers might shoot him. Or if he'd worried that Arthur, whoever he was, would really keep them apart. Eggsy supposed that if he thought about how worried he'd been about losing Harry the previous day, he'd probably watch Harry sleep, too. "Not like I'm goin' anywhere, 'cept if you are. You're the top secret spy that sneaks out to travel all over."

Harry snorted a laugh into his pillow. "Indeed. But yes, I missed you. And I worried whether you were alright or not. Really alright." Harry's hand trailed down Eggsy's back, familiar and soothing. He looked just as comfortable as Eggsy felt. Harry was warm. So were his eyes, but there was a quiet worry underneath, one that he might have been thinking on for some time. But Harry warmed to Eggsy's teasing. He searched Eggsy's face to see that it was genuine, but there was hope in his eyes as he did so. 

"I guess. I'm still mad that you didn't tell me after you promised, even though I know you weren't allowed. And I'm still gonna worry about you ever time you go on a tri-...a mission." Eggsy's groggy playfulness turned to subtle apprehension. He'd been too tired to have disturbed dreams, but his waking mind latched right on to the things that had bothered him the previous day. "Were your pictures before from the countries you were really in? Or were they pictures from somewhere else so I wouldn't know where you were?"

"No, those were real," Harry said with his smile only a little dampened. "I liked...having some way to connect with you, even when I couldn't tell you why I was really there. I did want to show you all those places, and more." Harry clasped his hands behind Eggsy's back and bent his head closer, nuzzling against Eggsy's cheek before he placed a kiss to his collar bone, like Harry was making sure it was ok. He pulled back up and resisted making any further movements, except for his hands which couldn't seem to stop touching Eggsy's back. 

"Could you tell me stories? About some of the things you've done? And maybe some stuff about my dad? How'd he know about joinin' and becoming a spy, anyways?" Children were truly resilient. Just a small amount of affection and reassurance and Eggsy's worries began to dissipate - for the moment, at least. The boy would have a lot of time in which to remember his fears when Harry next had to travel for work. 

That was perhaps what Harry feared most now, that Eggsy would feel differently about it once he was alone, once he wasn't still just so happy to be alive and have Harry back. Although that did bode well as a sign that Eggsy needed him, wanted him, even if he had doubts about Harry now. 

"Your father did work for the military most of his career. I was the one who invited him to join Kingsman. Or, at least, gave him the opportunity." Harry's smile softened, but he didn't let it falter. "We only invite a new agent to join when a position opens, that is, when an agent dies or retires and that spot needs to be filled. We all keep an eye out for potential candidates, as it is our job to propose someone for the new role when such a thing happens, and then the proposals enter a competition for the job, but it's not something that happens very often. Many agents simply hold ties with certain privileged families as a pool to choose from, but I'd never liked that practice. I found your father by inquiring about the Queen's most promising young soldiers during a visit with a two generals I'd become acquainted with over my time at Kingsman."

"So it's a posh club? Like how everyone from public schools knows each other, and hire each other or help with politics and the like." Eggsy remembered Michelle and her friends complaining about such very often; things never changed because no matter who you voted for, they were all part of the same club that didn't understand or care about common people. "But you were different. What'd the generals say about my dad? Did you like him?"

Harry's smile grew a little wider. "He came recommended very highly, since they had little idea what they were recommending him for, only that he came with top marks. And I did like him. I wouldn't have proposed him if I didn't, or if I didn't think that he would get on well with the other agents, practically speaking, even if he came from a very different background." Harry looked distant for a moment. "That was an important quality that Lee possessed. There were times when he deeply resented the upper class, and certainly he believed that changes in that regard were in dire need if we wanted to better our society, but he didn't let it colour his interactions, person to person. Unless the matter was directly called into question, he could work with the other Kingsmen just as well as he could work with the other soldiers. In so doing, he might have even changed a few long held prejudices." Harry's finger dipped into the small of Eggsy's back. "Although maybe that's a bit of wishful thinking on my part."

Eggsy beamed. He always liked hearing positive things about his father, but he especially liked hearing that _Harry_ had liked him and thought highly of him. It almost felt like getting praised himself. "The other agents didn't like him at first, but they did eventually. Right? Or was it like..."

Eggsy frowned. "I don't remember what he said, exactly, but Landon said something about how you and him made people angry, or teased them, or somethin'. And that you couldn't get in trouble because you were too valuable, and he knew it because nothing really happened even if you made people angry before."

"Ah. Yes.....that has been somewhat of a modus operandi in regards to myself. If I dare say so, Sean is a little better with going about it unnoticed, although he's had a few run-ins with authority as well. Usually...when I was involved." Harry's smile turned sheepish. "But no, I think many of the knights and even some of Lee's competitors genuinely liked him. Some in spite of themselves." Lee had a certain kind of honesty about him that people were drawn to. He was up front with people, just like Eggsy was, apart from his youth. Harry may have been kind when he wanted to be, well-meaning often enough, and very polite and pleasant to talk to, but Lee's particular brand of likeability was something he would never be able to embody. He wondered if that quality would stay with Eggsy when he grew up, even if he had lived with Harry all that time and taken on Harry's secrets. 

"What kind of run-ins have you had?" Eggsy could well imagine Harry getting into trouble, simply because Harry had a playfulness about him. Neither of them seemed to be much for authority. Whatever Harry had done, Eggsy thought the stories must be entertaining. Harder to imagine was grim-faced, withdrawn Landon getting into trouble, especially if he didn't interact with people much, like he claimed. 

"Ohh...usually me convincing Sean to go along with one of my more questionable ideas on the less dangerous missions. I swear I get into trouble more often on my off hours than the truly dangerous ones. But Sean isn't a complete killjoy. He likes to have a bit of fun as well, or, watch. I once attended a gala with the cover story of a painter of modern art and a terrible southern American accent. I let Sean guide my conversations through the whole thing and, though I did acquire the relevant blueprints to the host's mansion, which were important later, that particular American accent was banned for at least three years after. Until one was finally relevant to a mission, of which I was sadly not selected." Eggsy looked like he didn't know what to make of that at all. "The newspapers in my office?" Harry went on, "I pick one up and hang it the day after I return from a job. Every time. Reminders that I hadn't let the world go to shit, that society went on, completely unaware."

"I wondered why you liked gossip papers so much. Mum kinda likes them too, the ones about who's cheating on who and if aliens have been spotted and someone finding lottery winning numbers on their toast. We couldn't afford to buy them, though. She'd take old ones home from the hairdressers when they were done so she could read them." Eggsy paused, considering for a moment the unlikelihood of some of the headlines he'd seen, then blinked as it occurred to him that most would find it just as unlikely that a bunch of aristos posing as tailors were actually spies. "Nothin' in them _actually_ is real, right?"

Harry arched his brows, a fond gesture. "No, Eggsy. I'm afraid The Sun's journalistic standards are not that high." He shifted to get closer, burrowing into the blankets a little more so that he could tuck them under Eggsy as well, no intentions of leaving their little nest. "I do enjoy the whimsy in some of the headlines though. 'The Judge and the Rent Boy' is one I'm particularly fond of." Harry quirked a smile and let his eyes turn mischievous, watching carefully for Eggsy's reaction. 

"What's a rent boy?" Whatever the joke was, Eggsy didn't understand it. Harry was smiling like something was funny, the same way he always did when he was teasing, so there had to be more to it than just enjoying articles from The Sun like his mother did. "Like a maid? Someone you pay to do chores an' stuff?"

Harry's smile curved at the corners and he shook his head slowly. "A male prostitute. Someone who has sex for money, often young, attractive men." Harry's eyes crinkled when Eggsy's widened. Harry didn't move his hands from Eggsy's back, but he knew the boy would be suddenly more aware of their closeness, and Harry liked that thought, even if it led nowhere. He could go on about 'illicit relationships', but Eggsy would be able to put it together by now, and Harry didn't feel like drawing more attention to the secrecy of that between them, even amidst the secrets of his work. 

"I didn't know... men did that." Eggsy's voice had taken on a breathless quality. He had only known that some men liked other men from hearing negative things about it, after all, and women who liked sex got negative comments too. Both of those things had likely combined to ensure that such a concept wasn’t often talked about; after all, who else would pay for a male prostitute?

"It's... You like that idea? About rent boys?" Eggsy bit his lower lip. He could feel Harry's hands pressed against him, low enough that the touch could quickly turn sexual. "You know I'm not with you 'cause you have money though, right?"

"I know that very well." Harry bent closer until he was looking into Eggsy's eyes, inches apart. He still had that mischievous air about him, but he was keeping it restrained. "I think the idea can be...very arousing, although the realities are often far less glamorous. But if you know you're safe and wanted, regardless of money, and I know the same... Well, it can be a nice thought to entertain." Harry's eyes lingered on Eggsy's mouth and Eggsy knew exactly what he was thinking about. Harry got that look sometimes when he was thinking back to their first encounters, sexually, or even their first interactions that weren't particularly sexual. 

"So it's like a game? Like with the pirates?" Eggsy understood that well enough. He hadn't wanted Harry to _really_ be kidnapped or hurt, but he'd liked part of the idea of it. Harry being helpless and needing comfort, and him being the one who was able to save the day and take him to safety, only to be showered with affection and favors for doing so.

Once Eggsy understood it in that light, the boy gained an edge of excitement. He didn't know what kind of games Harry liked to play, but pretend was one that he could do very well. "Is that somethin' you like enough that you wanna try it?"

Harry laughed, surprised. He even blushed. Eggsy could see it even if it was faint. "Yes, I suppose that would be like a game, but I don't want to frighten you. Or for you to merely think that I'm paying for you to be here with me." He made sure Eggsy's gaze was locked on his when he said it. Eggsy needed to know that, especially now. That wasn't worth risking for a game. If Eggsy was sure enough in his position at Harry's house, there would be other games down the road. Even if the thought of him stepping into the house as a stranger, uncertain but willing, expecting a sizeable payment in return before he was on his way for Harry to call again at a later date.... Even if that thought was very tempting with a willing Eggsy. 

"I don't think you're payin' for me to be here, Harry. You'd be bribin' me with stuff all the time if that was true," Eggsy laughed. From what Eggsy understood, Harry was wealthy enough that he could afford to buy all sorts of things and take Eggsy on frequent vacations. Had Eggsy been nothing but a bought lover, Eggsy thought he'd know it. "I don't think you're very frightening, even though I know you're a spy now. I kinda like the idea of a game if it means you're gonna spoil me a bit."

"Do you now?" Harry asked softly, but not hesitantly. He considered for a moment and then cocked his head. "I imagine you could charge a fine price for your services.... One that I'd be willing and able to pay. However...." Harry's eyes lifted again, digging deep into Eggsy, "There would be a great many things I'd ask of you. To indulge me with. Of your body and perhaps with a keepsake or two. I am a lonely old man, after all, who only wishes I could have someone such as yourself for company every day." Harry's hands dipped lower, rubbing over the curve of Eggsy's arse above his pyjama trousers. 

Eggsy lightly punched Harry in the shoulder. "Ain't _that_ old. Ain't very lonely anymore, either. What kinda things do you mean, though, with keepsakes and the like? You mean photos, or is it stuff like in those sappy romances where people put bits of hair and necklaces, that sort of thing?" His mother had been quite into such romances. Eggsy had never understood why some of the people in the movies had done some of the things that they had, like hair in lockets and swooning over handkerchiefs and fighting other people to death over gossip and honour.

"Hmm, something along the lines of photos," Harry mused, "but you'll have to strike a deal with me to find out. I'm sorry I'm not a soppy romantic." He grinned at that, knowing Eggsy wasn't really hoping he'd be into the stuff Michelle was. "I'd make you a proper meal to discuss our terms over, make sure you were paid in full, cash in hand...and then and only then, I'd take you up to bed with me." Harry's smile curled. "And you'll have to do everything we've agreed upon, no backing out. Although, I have this suspicion that I'll enjoy your services so much that I'd like you to come back, so I'd likely be a very generous lover." Harry let himself slip inside the fantasy for a moment, but no more. Even he wasn't sure if this was moving too fast after Eggsy had been through too much. His trust in Harry was already shaken. That could easily, so easily, happen again. 

"No backing out? Even if it gets scary?" Eggsy pondered the offer. Part of him was tempted purely due to the look on Harry's face. He'd played along for Eggsy, after all, and the idea of this sort of fantasy game obviously made Harry happy. It seemed only fair that Eggsy play pretend with him.

Part of the boy, however, wondered what Harry liked about the idea, and what would happen if he couldn't do what they'd agreed upon. "What if you try to do something we didn't decide on in the beginning? Or if we find out I can't do something I thought I could?"

"Well, perhaps some backing out could be acceptable," Harry conceded. He raised his hand to Eggsy's cheek, letting his fingertips play in the fine tufts of his hair. "I don't know if I could forgive myself if I hurt you. And I would like you to come back, after all." Harry let his face grow soft, trying to convey that he meant it. He could feel his own heart beat faster. This was something they would have been laughing about before, surely discussing much the same--Harry would have made sure Eggsy wanted the game--but there was a weight to it now. Every word he spoke and idea he laid down was heavier than before. 

"Why are you all worried? I wouldn't say yes unless I wanted to play with you." Perceptive as ever, Eggsy didn't understand why Harry seemed so anxious. They'd played games before. They'd had sex before, many times. All that had changed now was that Eggsy had grown a bit wary of Harry's word. The older man kept most promises, but sometimes he lied, and well enough that Eggsy couldn't tell when he was or not. "'s not like I'm not gonna come back. You can't lose when playing pretend."

Harry smiled, but Eggsy could see that it was for him. "Sometimes you can have doubts, still. I...don't want to lose you to those kinds of doubts." Either Eggsy wanted to forget about Kingsman quickly, or he still implicitly trusted Harry more readily than Harry had thought he would. Harry wasn't sure either wouldn't backfire on him when Eggsy did have the time to think about it, however. He had to address this now, so that Eggsy would remember that as well when the time came. Harry resisted the urge to bend forward and continue the thread of this game, to kiss Eggsy on the mouth and nibble on his neck. It was hard when the invitation was there, when Eggsy wanted things to be normal again, when Harry would be welcome. 

"Yeah. I guess so." Eggsy fidgeted. Now that Harry wasn't going forward and sweeping him into fantasy, the boy had to face all the thoughts that had percolated the day before. Understanding why Harry had lied didn't make his bad feelings go away. If he'd touched the wrong thing in the house in the wrong way, he could have been injured or killed. "I guess... it's hard, y'know? You did all of your promises before, except these last ones. And I asked you about stuff a few times and you lied and made promises that you weren't gonna do. I want you to promise that there's nothin' else that's a secret, that you're lyin' about, but I won't know if that promise is real or not either. Y'know?"

"I do know." Harry traced his thumb over Eggsy's cheek and felt something that had been long coming stirring inside him, wholly unpleasant. "I'll protect you as best I can, and I'll try not to make you any more promises that can be broken so easily." The feel of Eggsy's skin so soft under Harry's fingertips was a treasure even as a slow, insidious kind of dread slipped inside him. He could keep it down well enough, he knew from experience, but it would always be there now. And yet still there was nothing more glorious than Eggsy soft under his hands, looking up at him with love in his eyes even if it was uncertain. Harry took a breath before he spoke again. "My life is full of secrets, Eggsy. Very inconvenient secrets. That's something I...have to live with."

"Why? I mean, I know why for the spy stuff, now. That could be pretty dangerous to have people know, and that's besides your boss getting mad at you. And I get why we're secret, even if I don't like it. 'Cause people don't like regular gay people very much and _especially_ don't like gay people like us. I just don't get why you say you've gotta live with all these secrets if you've got me now. I know those secrets and it doesn't bother me at all." Eggsy looked up at Harry in confusion. Secrets, to him, were simple enough. You found someone you could trust, and then you trusted them with the secrets so they didn't burn a hole in you. Eggsy didn't like the thought of Harry not trusting him enough to share and tell, or the idea that there were important things that he didn't know.

A look of pain passed over Harry's face for second before Harry curled his fingers around the back of Eggsy's neck. Harry had to reset himself. Eggsy still did not see this with the same context he did, but...Eggsy was not wrong either. "You still think those secrets are ok?" Harry asked, putting as much directness in his tone as he could muster, willing Eggsy to be sure. Knowing all the while that Eggsy's sureness now might not last forever. He understood those secrets of Harry's as best he could with the knowledge he had, but there was a wealth of it he was still missing.

"I don't like that they gotta be secrets." It was Eggsy's turn to look downcast. He picked at the bedsheets and avoided meeting Harry's gaze. Seeing the older man in pain, or disappointed, was not something Eggsy wanted to stomach just then. "I don't think they should be. Well, maybe the spy stuff, because otherwise people would find out where you live and try to attack you, I guess. I just can't stand it. That I can't talk about you and us like that to someone else if I wanted, or do too much in case someone sees. I was mad that your friend knows, and then... I was happy, because he was okay with it, but even then it didn't really change much because it has to be a secret from everyone else."

Harry's face didn't change much, but Eggsy's words closed around his chest and gripped it tight. This wouldn't get better, he knew. It would only get worse in time, as Eggsy wanted to have real relationships, ones that could exist in the outside world. Someday, he would understand, too. Harry couldn't force a smile with that thought in his mind. He heard his own breath as he inhaled, and certainly Eggsy heard it, too. 

"That's me, Eggsy. That's the way....I live. That's the way the world is." Harry curled his fingers in the hairs at Eggsy's scalp, trying to convey that in spite of how unhappy he might look, that he was glad Eggsy was there. 

"It shouldn't be that way, though. Doesn't mean I don't like this, but I wish I didn't have to pretend to be your son all the time. Or not say what I'm really thinking about." Eggsy moved closer and curled an arm around Harry's waist. Confessing unhappiness with the unfairness of the world made Eggsy more insecure than usual. He wanted the reassurance of touch, and for Harry to tell him everything was going to be alright. "Landon said I could be more open about stuff when I'm older, but I dunno if that's true, because won't people remember that you adopted me?"

Harry let his arms fall down around Eggsy's back and held him tightly. Sensing Eggsy's need for comfort helped Harry push aside his own doubts. Harry reflected on what Sean might have said. Sean knew, of course, it was more complicated than that, but it sounded like he'd tried to reassure Eggsy. "He's right, it won't matter so much when you're old enough, even in spite of the age gap. Those who know us might be...somewhat more suspicious though. Including your mother," Harry warned. He wetted his lips and chose his words carefully. "Legally, there would be little action anyone could take without evidence of our involvement beforehand, but socially…she would have enough at her disposal to turn into a weapon. Although I live very removed from the world around us, and that would not be the end of me if it ever did come to pass, I do not doubt that it would be incredibly hard on you."

"It's not _fair_ ," Eggsy whined. Harry was doing his best to comfort him, but the thought that they would always be hiding was causing Eggsy's heart to clench. He'd thought about such things before, even before he'd met Harry. He'd barely started to realize things about himself and deal with the shame before he'd known that, even if he managed to find a boyfriend somehow, things would be rough. He'd have to worry about being beaten up or fired from jobs, and people like him weren't allowed to get married. The situation with Harry was much the same, except that there was no safe place to be themselves but at home. "Why does it matter to any of them, if I'm doing what I want?"

Harry pulled his mouth into a sad smile. "You'll figure that out, someday," he sighed. "But I don't think it'll be any easier by then. I'm sorry, Eggsy." He traced his fingernails down the boy's back. "I'll do everything in my power to make what we can have enjoyable. To make a haven for you here. For the both of us. Sometimes...it has to be done that way. If you can't find what you want in the world, sometimes you can make it yourself." Harry's small smile that time was real, if still a little sad. Someday Eggsy would have to find out where to draw the line between what he wanted and what he needed, and Harry was all too aware that what Eggsy wanted and needed might be changing very soon. They still had time. A couple years, maybe....

"So we really gotta hide forever?" Eggsy tried to imagine what that would be like. He could grow up tall enough to really match Harry, to be able to lean over and kiss him whenever he wanted... except he wouldn't. People would still think of him as Harry's son, by adoption if not by blood. Eggsy hadn't considered this when they'd gone to the courts to let him live with Harry. "I'd do it, 'cause I want to be with you, but... it would be hard. I thought we'd be like everyone else once I got bigger."

Harry pulled his mouth into a half smile. "Not everyone would be as bad as your mother. There are simply...certain people we'd have trouble with if they knew." Harry tried to relax into their pile of blankets and, thankfully, his body obeyed even if his mind was on other things. He suspected the reality of their future would be quite a bit different than Eggsy imagined it. Harry stroked a finger down the bridge of Eggsy's nose, partially to distract Eggsy from his troublesome thoughts, and partially to distract himself. Eggsy went cross-eyed for a minute and it made Harry smile. He leaned in for a kiss, intent on relaxing their conversation a little. 

Eggsy went quiet. Harry could practically see the thoughts forming in his head, although they were quickly derailed as soon as their lips touched. Eggsy was young enough that he had little experience with resisting distraction tactics. A few seconds was all it took for the smaller body wrapped in Harry's arms to relax, and Eggsy's lips parted with a contented sigh.

The future was very, very far away, from a child's perspective. When a year at school took forever, worrying too much about what would happen in a few years’ time seemed pointless. A few years was a lifetime away, and its problems could wait.

Harry couldn't be more grateful for it, even if the tightness in his stomach still lingered. When Eggsy looked back at Harry again, the corners of his mouth hinted at his contentment and his eyes were alert, waiting for Harry's lead. 

"Feeling well-rested this morning?" Harry asked. Eggsy certainly seemed like it, but he'd been through a lot the day prior. "Or would you like to go back to sleep?" Harry smiled. "Or. Perhaps we really could stay in bed all day. Order breakfast in. Never get out of our pyjamas. Well, I say 'never'...." Harry let some of his teeth show as his thumb dipped under Eggsy's shirt. 

"I like sleep, but that last one sounds good." Eggsy squirmed once Harry’s fingers brushed over his ticklish skin. His mouth set into an impish curve, and then he tried to give back as good as he was getting; his small fingers ghosted along Harry’s ribs and down the curve of his hip. Eggsy darted forward, pressed his lips to Harry's chest... and blew a raspberry, giggling as he pulled back and looked for Harry's reaction. "Got ya! You gotta be ticklish _somewhere_. Aren't you?"

Harry laughed at how ridiculous Eggsy was being, but not from the boy's wandering fingers. "I'm afraid not," he put on a grave tone. "That's one of the first things they train out of you in spy-camp. I can withstand any and all tickling." Harry stretched beside Eggsy and smirked in clear invitation. Immediately the boy's eyes narrowed, checking him over for weak points even though Harry was mostly still under the covers and loath to leave their warmth. This though, this was worth it. 

"That can't be true." Eggsy tried to sound firm, but uncertainty coloured his tone. His hands continued to wander, poking and prodding here and there, but Harry didn't react except to smile at him. Eggsy frowned at his lack of success. " _Nowhere?_ How'd they make you unticklish with spy training? Even the armpits and the backs of your knees?"

Harry shook his head. "Even there. It's a brutal process, I assure you. One I care not to repeat aloud. I could teach you...but you may not survive. Other agents never came back." Harry widened his eyes. "Some even went mad." Eggsy was fighting a smile, but Harry kept his face absolutely serious. He raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

"I like messin' with you though. Death by tickling doesn't sound very fun, though. If you're gonna teach me somethin', I'd rather it be somethin' cool. Or somethin' useful. Like..." Eggsy's eyes rolled upward in thought. "How to make stuff explode. Or how to sneak around without being seen, although I'm already kinda good at that."

Harry did let his lip curl at that. "Indeed you are. Already working on your sleight of hand as well." He slipped one hand around to Eggsy's front and let his fingers crawl up the boy's chest, over his shirt this time. "Blowing things up is a very, very wide subject of study.... But I might be persuaded to teach you a little. Work your way up, perhaps. You'd be surprised what household chemicals can accomplish under the right circumstances." Harry stroked his finger under Eggsy's chin, relishing in the softness and the way he was keeping his eyes on Harry. 

Eggsy's face lit up with pleasure. Another adult would have refused, but Harry indulged him. Eggsy felt powerful when he wasn't talked down to and limited like a kid. "I bet you'll be a good teacher. You've done real good at teachin' other things." 

There, right there, was an expression so rarely glimpsed: lust set in a childish face. Desire had been carefully tended and watered, sheltered through the fragile stage as it sprouted, until it had firmly taken root inside Eggsy’s mind. Nothing about him was shy as his hand slid lower. "You still got new stuff to show me? Or are we practicin' to see if we get better?"

Harry's teeth showed in a real smile, thrilled that such thoughts had not been tainted for Eggsy after everything. 

"There is always more to learn," Harry dropped his voice, "and rarely an excuse not to practice." With that, he caught an arm under Eggsy and rolled atop him, pinning his legs under Harry's weight. Harry grinned down at him and then kissed the boy. Eggsy's playful side had been ready to come out all morning, in spite of the detours they kept taking. A part of Harry warned him to be wary of this sudden optimism, but he also really, _really_ wanted to indulge in it. 

"Seems more fun than practicin' other stuff, though," Eggsy pointed out once Harry pulled back to let him breathe. Harry was a comforting pressure above him, warm and braced against the mattress so that he wasn't too heavy. "Other stuff is work, and you _wanna_ get out of doin' it. Even sports aren't as much fun when you're on a team and people are bossin' you around about how to do things or how good you are. You never boss me around or tell me I should be better at somethin'."

"Is that your way of saying you'd rather stay in bed with me than continue your martial arts practice?" Harry quirked a cheeky eyebrow. "Because you'd still get a thorough workout." He lifted one hand to tease down Eggsy's body beneath him, touching through the fabric of his shirt, pressing his thumb into Eggsy's tender spots just to make him squirm, massaging down his side and wrapping his hand around Eggsy's small thigh. Eggsy, with his hair all dishevelled with the sun highlighting the strands, his cheeks, the curve of his beautifully green irises, looked like he might have been painted into the sheets. Harry bent to kiss him again, wanting to see the red bloom in his lips. 

Harry was so intent on savouring that he didn't get an answer. Or at least, not an audible one. Confirmation was in the way Eggsy squirmed and wrapped his arms around the older man, the contented sigh when Harry's fingers moved in soothing circles and a quiet moan when Harry teased his way into the boy's mouth for a taste.

It wasn't Harry's imagination that Eggsy clung to him just a bit more than usual. Eggsy's cheerful demeanour didn't mean he'd forgotten the day prior, or just how scared he'd been of losing Harry - a fear of loss that Harry happened to share.

It was their pirate situation in reverse, Harry realised with the strangest sense of deja vu. Although now it had become reality. Now it was Harry who had rescued Eggsy and Eggsy writhing underneath him, trying to get closer, trying to hold onto Harry and thank him for getting Eggsy out of there. Even if it was entirely subconscious, Eggsy had practised this scene before. Practised it with a child's mind, preparing for reality, even if it was a reality he never expected to be true. 

Harry caught his breath and kissed Eggsy harder, all the more enamoured with him for it, for the gratitude Harry felt that Eggsy was back in his home and in his bed was certainly not lost on him either. Harry untied the drawstring of Eggsy's pyjama bottoms with his wandering hand and pushed them down to get at the tender skin beneath. 

Eggsy might still have lingering doubts about how much Harry's word could be trusted, but he trusted him with this. He knew from experience that Harry would be gentle and listen. He was wanted. Harry had said that he loved him and, for most of his promises, he'd kept his word to a t. Eggsy had no reason to doubt that he was loved, nevermind that Harry had endangered him by not telling him about the weapons in the house. None of that seemed to matter when Harry bent to kiss him again and Eggsy felt a hand wrap around his cock.

Harry groaned the same time Eggsy whimpered. He tossed the pyjama bottoms away with his free hand, never letting up on his grip now that he had it. He doubted Eggsy would last long. He was already so desperate for Harry just to be with him, to touch him, in whatever way Harry would. Harry would be lying if he didn't admit to that desperate feeling himself. He decided not to fight it and reached for the night stand, watching Eggsy's gaze follow his hand, knowing what Harry was about to do. Harry felt Eggsy's hips buck a little harder into his hand and he chuckled. 

Patience tended not to be a virtue with young boys. Eggsy was slowly learning the value of anticipation and a slow build, but right then was not the time. Perhaps later, if Eggsy's good mood held for the rest of the day, but what they both needed was relief. Worries had spun nets like spider webs all around them, but reaffirming their love for and trust in one another might burn all that away for a time.

" _C'mon_ , Harry, don't you got it yet?"

"You'll thank me not to rush," Harry whispered in Eggsy's ear, lowering himself beside Eggsy and turning the boy onto his side. Like that, Harry could slip one hand underneath his hip and pick up his ministrations again while the other cracked open the bottle of lube. He pressed up close behind Eggsy and let his palm slide down the boy's rear, finger slipping between the perfectly rounded cheeks of his arse. It was so _warm_ , just like Harry knew Eggsy would be inside. Softly, he mouthed kisses against Eggsy's neck as he circled his finger, slicking up the muscle, and gently probed inside. 

Eggsy jumped. It never failed. Penetration at the beginning was always a bit of a shock, more so with how cold the gel felt. It warmed quickly, and Eggsy kept his breathing deep and even. Eggsy wanted things to go faster, but his body would only relax so quickly, and Harry had explained some of the dangers before. Harry wouldn't do anything before Eggsy was ready, which left the boy minutes to breathe and concentrate on the radiated warmth from Harry's body and the slight pressure from where his own body was clenched around Harry's finger.

Already Harry was wrapping him in sensation. From his neck down to his groin, Eggsy was drawn into Harry's touch. Not nearly as intense as what was to come, but Harry liked to get him used to it in that way. And it wasn't only for Eggsy's benefit. The feel of his body as Harry slipped another finger into him, legs squirming just a little, spine arching impatiently, the _feel_ of being inside him even with just Harry's fingers.... Every little twitch of muscle Eggsy gave him made Harry want to rush. But he'd done this so many times now, Harry no longer had to think about what a child's body could take in general. He _knew_ Eggsy now, much like Eggsy knew Harry. Even if the whole of Eggsy's sexual experience was based on Harry alone. 

With the addition of more lube, Harry slipped his third finger inside the boy, feeling for the stretch and watching Eggsy's expression tighten. He knew by now why Harry deliberately stretched him like that, waited for his muscles to relax, and then did it again, over and over until Eggsy was open enough for him. 

Knew to keep breathing instead of holding his breath, too, although it was tempting to do otherwise. Harry teased him every now and then, gently brushing against his prostate with the tip of one finger. A bit of pleasure to sweeten the discomfort and frustration of waiting until he'd loosened up. Eggsy's breathing had turned rough around the edges by the time he was ready, and the cock trapped in Harry's fingers was hard in anticipation.

Eggsy opened his eyes. Turned on their sides like they were, the boy could see a bit of them in the dressing mirror - just the pale skin of his bared legs and hips, and a larger silhouette behind him, one arm reaching around to pull him closer.

He caught half of Harry's face as he turned to kiss up the side of Eggsy's neck. Harry had to bend to do it. Now that he'd positioned Eggsy closer and aligned with his hips, Eggsy was a great deal shorter. 

Harry didn't notice him watching in the mirror at first. He was too focused on Eggsy, pulling his legs up for better access, adding more lube, giving a few strokes to his own cock, which Eggsy got a very clear view of in the mirror, before lining up the head. 

The heat between Eggsy's cheeks was more than inviting. Harry's mouth dropped open a little as he pressed slowly inside, working his way in by holding Eggsy's hip steady and pushing his hips forward. It was only when Harry closed his eyes at the raw pleasure of it and opened them again that he connected with Eggsy in the mirror.

Eggsy didn't know where to look: Harry's lust-darkened eyes, or the gap between his parted legs where he could see Harry entering him. If he kept his eyes unfocused, he could _almost_ see both at once by looking somewhere between the two. The boy's mouth opened and closed with a soft little whimper. He looked fragile like this, and owned. Harry's arms were wrapped around him and appeared strong enough to break him, when viewed from a distance like that and contrasted with his own slender limbs. 

He could have been a toy in Harry's arms, even though Harry held him like he was coveted. With a little more bending, Harry leaned over Eggsy and turned Eggsy's cheek to him, breaking their contact in the mirror, but replacing it with a kiss. Harry sank deeper the moment it happened, pulling Eggsy's hips as close to flush against him as they could manage. Eggsy felt Harry tremble. He'd felt Harry do that before, and Eggsy knew it was something that happened when Harry was feeling particularly overwhelmed. 

When Harry pulled away, he kept Eggsy's head turned to him for a moment longer, letting Eggsy feel the first thrust of his hips while Harry looked at him like that. Not through the mirror. As close as possible. 

Sex like this was still uncomfortable, but much less so now that Eggsy had practice. He relaxed quicker until he reached the point where it was enjoyable for him as well, physical pleasure wasn't the only reason Eggsy liked it. The effect he had on Harry, and the thought of what they were doing, wound him up like nothing else.

Eggsy didn't know why, but the thought that he _shouldn't_ be doing something only made him enjoy it more, now that he'd overcome shame and embarrassment. Men weren't supposed to enjoy being penetrated, or to like other men. They weren't supposed to enjoy being pinned down. Other people thought that he shouldn't have what he had with Harry.

And Eggsy wasn't supposed to know what Harry was. Spies were much more dangerous than tailors, and the moment Eggsy's mind drifted to the thought, he writhed a little bit in Harry's arms, suddenly remembering pieces of the Bond movies they'd watched together.

Not to his surprise, Harry released his jaw and wound his arms around Eggsy's middle to hold him in place. Harry liked it when Eggsy rocked back against him, but he also didn't want Eggsy squirming away. It was instinct more than it was anything else, and there were times when Harry let it take over. Being so grateful to have Eggsy back, so caught up in the boy, this was one of those times. Harry kissed softly behind Eggsy's ear and their gazes met in the mirror again while Harry set up a slow, pumping rhythm with his hips. He watched his own eyes darken as they caught on Eggsy watching back, and then Harry bent to scrape his teeth along the back of Eggsy's neck. 

Eggsy sank into the feeling and arched at the sensation of teeth. He didn't know what was a better fantasy: that Harry was the hero spy who'd rescued him, like in the movies, or something darker. If good spies existed, after all, then bad ones did too. Bad ones that might kidnap the loved ones of the good spies. Bad ones would be more like the sort to hold him down so he couldn't escape.

A flush crept into Eggsy’s cheeks as he closed his eyes. He didn't think he should be having such thoughts. 

But then there was Harry, nuzzling at the hot splotch of colour in one cheek while he continued to pump inside of Eggsy. Harry didn't know what he was thinking, but he'd certainly noticed Eggsy's reaction and he was drinking it in. Harry's soft kisses were gone, replaced by a hungry mouthing at the side of his neck, careful at first not to bruise the skin until Harry moved his shirt collar aside and found Eggsy's collar bone. There he sucked a bright red spot over the bone, one that would be just hidden by his regular shirts. 

Definitely the bad sort of spy, then. Eggsy let out a quiet moan and clutched at the arms wrapped around him as best he could. The boy felt bad at imagining Harry as a villain, particularly after he'd gone through so much doubt regarding Harry's truthfulness the previous day.

_That_ thought sparked yet another fantasy. Eggsy had been terrified about what sort of punishment he or Harry was going to receive. Death or separation was something he didn't want to contemplate, but what if... he _had_ been a rival spy, trying to sneak into Harry's base? If Harry had been called on to punish him, instead, for his attempt at espionage and infiltration? Eggsy felt a sharp tugging at one shoulder and knew Harry was sucking another mark into his skin, and the boy whined and started to struggle - not away, but _towards_ Harry, pressing back against the older man's hips every time they thrust forward.

The motion caused Harry to utter a deep, rumbling sound from the back of his throat. His hand that was wrapped underneath Eggsy and across his stomach gripped him by the hip while Harry's other hand moved to catch his legs. Harry's hand was wide enough that he could grip both of Eggsy's knees and hold on while Eggsy writhed. Harry's next thrusts came faster and if Eggsy had any doubt as to whether Harry thought he was actually trying to get away, it was laid to rest. His struggles only spurred Harry on. 

"You like this now, don't you?" Harry asked, breath coming in pants against Eggsy's ear. "Is that it? You like knowing what I'm capable of." If Eggsy wasn't mistaken, Harry sounded like he liked it, too.  
Eggsy gasped and his eyes shut tighter. Everything was more intense when he couldn't see, because he focused on the sound of Harry's voice in his ear and feeling of every point of contact - everywhere he was being held, and the way Harry slid in and out of him. "Y-yeah," Eggsy finally whispered. "Am I captured, now? 'cause I'm an enemy spy, and I saw your whole secret base? Or are you gonna let me go?"

Harry laughed, deep and rich, before he had to catch his breath again at the pleasure. "So that's what you were thinking..." Eggsy didn't have to see to know Harry was smiling, smirking probably. He let himself pump into Eggsy a few more times, holding the boy tight and repositioning one of his hands between Eggsy's legs, finding his stiff little cock and stroking it in time. Eggsy shuddered and Harry pressed flush against his back, leaning down to keep close to his ear. "I don't think I can let you go now," Harry mused. "I don't think I _want_ to."

The counterpoint of Harry stroking him was almost too much. Eggsy started to pant. He couldn't get enough air into his lungs. It felt like falling, but with complete security instead of fear. Harry had him and wasn't letting go. Eggsy struggled to put voice to his thoughts. "N-not... much punishment, bein' kept like... like this. Think I'm ok bein' held captive. So long as you're treatin' me well."

"Perhaps I'll turn you to my side...," Harry breathed and then licked the outer edge of Eggsy's ear. "One way or another." Harry's next thrust and stroke combined drove the point home. Perhaps Eggsy had little choice in the matter, but he might also never truly know. Harry was making him want to be nowhere else but there, and Harry had no intention to stop. Harry could be incredibly convincing when he wanted to be, and Eggsy might never get to test the limits of this game. 

Harry was indulging him right now though by playing along. Eggsy's thoughts may have drifted to wild scenarios, but Harry was still firmly wrapped up in the present. Wrapped up in keeping, holding, and owning Eggsy. 

The boy's climax came suddenly. One moment he was straining against Harry, trying to get closer and caught up in a mix of fantasy and reality, and the next he tensed, exquisitely tight around Harry where they were joined together. Small hands sought out anywhere they could to hold onto Harry, white-knuckled from gripping so hard. Eggsy couldn't see. He couldn't tell if his eyes were opened or closed; everything was darkness and lights and a rush of euphoria filling him from head to toe.

Distantly he could hear Harry hum against his temple, low and indulgent. Some part of his mind was still trained on everything Harry did, and Harry didn't stop thrusting into him either. It was overwhelming, almost too much. Harry gave him only a little relief by releasing his hold on Eggsy's cock, which made everything only just bearable. 

With a growl, Harry turned them, lowering Eggsy's knees so he could press up against Eggsy's back and turn him over onto his front, and suddenly gravity was introduced into Harry's thrusts, pushing him into the mattress and blankets deeper and deeper. Eggsy caught a glimpse of them in the mirror out of the corner of his eye. He could barely see himself under Harry, and Harry's eyes really did glaze over with lust as he moved. 

It was another minute more like that, with Eggsy squirming at each thrust, pressed as deep inside as Harry could get, that he stiffened on top of Eggsy and shuddered. 

Eggsy turned boneless underneath the older man. He was just beginning to feel the soreness that would stay with him for the rest of the day at minimum, but he was content, warm, and above all relieved. Things would get back to normal. He'd had _more_ fun now that he knew a little bit more about Harry. Maybe, after they were done healing from the hurt his sneaking and Harry's lies had inflicted on them, they'd be closer than before.

"...stayin' in bed all day sounds like a good idea, now," Eggsy mumbled against the bedsheets. He could hear Harry catching his breath behind him and it made his heart twist a little. Eggsy wanted them to stay just like that, happy and wrapped up in one another.

Slowly, Harry pulled out and moved down Eggsy's body so as not to smother him too badly. Still Harry couldn't bring himself to move off completely. With half his weight on Eggsy, Harry was a solid comfort. He kissed Eggsy's shoulder where his collar had moved down and laughed quietly. He grabbed a tissue off the night stand and cleaned them up a bit, but after tossing it in the bin, Harry still didn't move away. 

"I think, just this once, I can agree." Harry ruffled Eggsy's hair and let the boy turn his head so they could look at each other. Harry's eyes were warm and happy again and all the reservations of that morning had faded away. "I think I'll make us breakfast in a bit and bring it back up here, shall I?"

"Yeah. Like a fry up, or somethin'. More than usual breakfast." Eggsy was flushed and beaming, and it was difficult to remember just how upset and distrusting he'd been the day before. All Harry could see, when Eggsy was looking back at him, was love. The boy stretched a bit and tried to turn his head. "Feels like you got me good. How many, um... Do I got a lot of marks on me? They're... I liked it, but what if someone sees 'em?"

Harry's smile widened. Sometimes Eggsy caught him looking sheepish after he'd done something like that, but not this time. "I can count three from here, but most of your shirts should cover them." Harry traced a finger over Eggsy's shoulder blades from one side to the other, sending tingles down the back of his neck as it went. Eggsy didn't have to worry about changing in front of anyone in gym class now, just when he was out playing with his mates from the estates. He'd have to be careful not to let them notice if they went down to the skate park or if he was practising gymnastics in front of them. 

Harry didn't make marks often. He was usually very aware of the problems they could cause, but he'd let himself go this time. 

"Just so long as I can hide 'em, is all. I don't mind it, 'cept for the fact I can't see 'em. I just don't wanna get us both in trouble." If they'd been smaller, Eggsy probably would have gotten teasing about it, but Eggsy was willing to bet that the marks weren't small. Anyone who saw them would guess that they were made by an adult. Eggsy tried to turn and see them, failed, and then turned the other way to try to catch a glimpse in the bedroom mirror. All three stood out vividly enough that Eggsy had no trouble spotting them. "This mean I'm yours, then?"

"It would appear so." 

Harry propped himself up on one arm and watched Eggsy in the mirror. A quiet sense of satisfaction seeped into his chest as Eggsy turned his shoulders and pulled his shirt collar down a little lower to inspect each bright red spot. They'd darken soon, but that wasn't really what made Harry so satisfied. They would be lovely on Eggsy, there was no doubt about that, but it was the way _Eggsy_ looked at the marks, at the little indentations of Harry's teeth, that made Harry's breath catch. 

Harry pressed a kiss to Eggsy's temple before he handed him back his pyjama bottoms and found his own shorts. "Let me go see what I can put together for breakfast then. I'll be back in no time at all."

"'kay." Eggsy didn't bother hiding the loss he felt when Harry rolled off of him and cool air hit his skin. Harry was coming back, but part of Eggsy still was insecure. He wanted to compensate for that by saying as close to Harry as possible, but he didn't want to go down to the kitchen. Eggsy considered for a moment. "I think I'm gonna go take a shower. I don't usually care if it's sticky and all, but I think it might feel nice. And then I've got something to do while you're cooking."

At Harry's expression, the boy laughed. "I can have another one later if you think you're missin' out."

Harry closed his mouth with a click of teeth as Eggsy had practically read his mind. "Well. Good. Thank you." 

He caught Eggsy snickering as he turned to grab his robe and head for the stairs. Harry wasn't sure whether he was just thrown, or if he should be irritated that Eggsy had read him so well in such an inconsequential moment. People didn't do that with him. Even Merlin had to look deep into Harry sometimes to figure out what he might do next, outside of missions. Inside of them, Merlin was sometimes like Harry's second brain. It was certainly odd and Harry decided to put it out of his mind as he settled into the kitchen, reminding himself not to get too comfortable since he did fully intend on getting back in bed once he had a tray of food prepared. He started up the stove and rummaged through the refrigerator, waiting for the familiar sound of the upstairs shower.

A few seconds later, water began rushing through the pipes. Harry had watched footage of Eggsy washing by himself enough to be able to picture the routine. Which towel he'd pick and put on the floor just outside the stall since his arms weren't long enough to reach the rack Harry used. A flannel rubbed against the soap Harry had bought him at Tesco so that he'd have his own. The order he'd wash in, always the same, executed without thinking while the sound and feel of the water lulled the boy into a relaxed state. Eggsy tended to linger under the hot water, and so the cameras would only catch so much before getting obscured with steam.

Harry kept that image in mind while he worked in the kitchen. He took a few moments to wash up in the downstairs bathroom and then loaded their plates with eggs and vegetables and sausages, filled two cups of orange juice, put it all on a tray and carried it upstairs, steaming and smelling delicious as he went. 

Eggsy would smell it by the time Harry passed. The sound of the shower was off, and Harry knew Eggsy would be hurrying, probably as hungry as Harry was since they'd slept so long. 

Harry propped up his pillows against the headboard and straightened the sheets to make room for the breakfast tray. Eggsy would have to be careful not to spill--it wasn't often Harry let the boy eat in bed--but he decided it was worth the risk this time. 

Eggsy was a sight when he appeared in the doorway. Heat had given a flush to his skin, and he hadn't quite gotten all the way dry, which meant that here and there droplets of water clung to his skin. There had been no point to redressing in pyjamas, so all that covered him was a single fluffy white towel around his waist, wrapped several times due to the size of it. As soon as he spotted Harry in bed, waiting with plates of food, the boy started grinning. "I tried to be quick but I guess you were quicker, huh? Doesn't smell burnt, neither. I guess it helps for me to not be in the kitchen distractin' you."

"I'm afraid you'll never know the true heights of my culinary skills except for these rare occasions," Harry agreed, indulging Eggsy and his attention fixed on his small figure as Eggsy entered the room and climbed back up on the bed, nearly flashing Harry with the height of the jump. Harry smiled and reached over to catch a few droplets on Eggsy's cheek on his thumb, ones that had probably rained down from Eggsy's damp hair. Harry dried them with one stroke, seeping into Eggsy's impossibly soft skin. He waited for Eggsy to get settled and then set the tray and plates in between them, handing Eggsy a glass of juice to set on the night stand. 

The eggs and sausages smelled tantalizing and both of them tucked in right away. It was Eggsy, however, that held Harry's eye. Moments like that were the when he still found it difficult, in spite of everything he had worked so hard for, that Eggsy was really there with him. 

Eggsy was oblivious to Harry's mood. As far as the boy was concerned, the day was off to a fantastic start, and his growing body was prompting him to focus on his plate now that other needs had been sated. Eggsy had begun to eat more at every meal and taken shoe shopping not that long ago, both signs that a growth spurt was on the horizon. "Where'd you learn to cook? Was that somethin' they taught at public school?" Eggsy paused midway to another forkful of egg. "Is that where you met other people and got into the spy stuff? When you were at school?

"That is where I made those first connections, yes, although I didn't know it at the time. The cooking was something I picked up, well, I suppose from my dinners as a child, but really it wasn't after I had lived on my own for many years that I learned how to do it properly," Harry admitted. "Public school and the spy world didn't teach me much about how to fry up an omelette. Not unless I wanted to poison it." Harry waited and was rewarded when he caught Eggsy's pause and glance to see whether he was serious. Unfortunately, Harry was. 

"The poisoning being the spy bit, or the public school bit?" Eggsy could see it going either way. He tried to flash a grin, but the topic was so grim and unexpected that the expression quickly faded. "Is that why you don't seem to want to tell me stuff about what being a spy is like, because you have to do bad things to people? I mean, I kinda guessed, since finding out and thinking about the gun and weapons and all, that you've probably used them before, but you're fighting against bad guys, so it's okay."

Harry cracked a smile anyhow. "That's a fair bit of it, yes. We always try to work towards the greater good, but that often requires unpleasant things be done on the way." There were far too many nuances to the work convey it all to Eggsy over breakfast. Eggsy wouldn't understand how the weight of years knee deep in such work could influence an agent's decisions either. To anyone so green, and to anyone so young, that would be the most difficult for Harry to convey. "But, believe it or not, it was public school that taught me that one. The spy business simply improved upon it, greatly. The boys who thought rat poison made a particularly good prank that year soon found themselves expelled. Turns out it's hard to disguise the taste."

"What kind of spy work do you _like_ doin', since I don't think you enjoy poisoning bad guys? Lots of travel to cool places and sneakin' around?" Eggsy's ideas of spy life were, of course, influenced by pop culture that was accessible to children. He had no concept of how morally ambivalent such work could be. He wouldn't have been told about the more gritty stories from the cold war, of defectors from both sides and the scandals that had occasionally drifted to light. He would know nothing about spies before then, either, but the sterilized heroic propaganda taught in the schools.

"I like the work that allows me to visit exotic places, to eat good food and see the culture. I like the work that is...challenging, but straightforward. You never want to be caught up in a mission without the proper intel or find that there had been key players missing all along. Surprises are never fun, but if you go in with enough research in a containable situation, then I don't mind things getting a little...exciting, shall we say." Harry let his smile into his eyes, wanting to make sure Eggsy saw some optimism in the work. 

"What are your favourite missions you've ever been on? You've got some, right?" From the look of Harry's office walls, he'd had a _lot_ of adventures over the years. Part of Eggsy felt a flicker of jealousy - all those adventures were had without him there. He'd not even been born yet, but that was beside the point. There were things Harry had done that he couldn't share as an experience. People who had known him for longer would, in a way, always know parts of Harry a little better.

Harry thought for a moment. "Well, one of my particular favourites was impersonating an English duke on holiday in Bangladesh. The real duke was there on holiday as well as I, so I had to be very careful about my timing when making appointments. I also had to engineer reasons for this man to be inconvenienced out of attending the parties he'd been invited to, which I could then attend in his place in order to meet and acquire information from another dignitary. There was a very unusual air of charm to the whole thing because this duke had a penchant for sneaking off and getting into trouble himself. I say charm, but Sean was ready to have my head if I couldn't catch him and twist his ankle to lie him up in hospital for a few days or some such thing. Which I did, eventually, but after that I became...somewhat pleasantly accustomed to taking on his sense of humour and seeing the sights he enjoyed seeing, and most especially pulling a prank he had planned on another visiting dignitary from Nepal. Old rivals, those two, apparently. Anyhow, I acquired the information I needed and the duke was released from hospital only to find stories of himself getting up to quite a lot of trouble while he was out. He never did find out what to make of that." 

Eggsy laughed, completely delighted. He could easily picture Harry doing all of that, including carrying out some escapades that would confuse and embarrass his impersonation target later. "I wish that was easy. I think it'd be fun to run around pretendin' to be someone else. 'Specially when you get to prank 'em. Do you get to do a lot of that? Pretending to be someone specific, I mean, instead of making up a name and stuff and pretending to be someone that doesn't exist."

"Not too very often, and there has to be at least some resemblance between us, but you'd be amazed what you can accomplish when you have a team of people coordinating official calls and forging papers behind you. What would be nearly impossible to do alone becomes...something of a dance between you, those around you, and your handlers." A dance that could be put to all sorts of uses, often used more like a weapon than the simple boisterous fun Harry had so liked about that mission. "Besides the exciting parts, missions are by and large very tedious. You study your role, you study the environment, you study your getaway route, what resources are nearby.... You spend so much time preparing for each job and then you get there and ninety percent of it is waiting for the right moment and then the next, and so on and so forth. You have to be prepared at all costs, but often it can be very dull." 

Eggsy considered this. From the way Harry talked about it, being a spy sounded a bit like dealing with lots of homework and studying for school tests, and a bit like waiting extra long for a bus, with little bits of excitement popping up now and then. Not at all what Eggsy thought being a spy would be like. "Doesn't... your handler do all the busy work, though? All the research and studyin' and all that. I can see having to wait a lot for the right moment, 'cause I know a bit about that, but it seems weird that you have to study so much."

"They absolutely do, but that doesn't mean I, as an agent, get to slack off either." Harry began to relax into the conversation between bites of green peppers. Eggsy was letting him lead well enough and Eggsy was willing to listen. He may have had very little reference to compare to what Harry said, but he didn't seem too sceptical either. "There are times when a handler might be cut off, or I need to make a split second's decision, and if I'm playing a role I certainly can't rely on them to guide me through every conversation I have. You're meant to be a team, so you both do as much as you can. The handlers will always have access to more information at their fingertips--we have an extensive database, but the goal is to rely on it as little as possible. Avoiding notice is critical." 

"Is that why you're friends with Landon, then? Because he does that research work for you all the time, and you've got nothin' to do while you're waitin' around for the right time to do the next step of the mission?" Eggsy still wasn't sure how he felt about Landon. That was _another_ aspect of Harry's life that he didn't get to see. The other man wasn't that bad, but he had almost nothing in common with Harry from what Eggsy could see. The boy didn't think he'd automatically be friends with anyone he _had_ to hang out with for long periods of time, though. He'd be friends with all of his classmates if that was true.

"Yes that is largely how Sean and I became friends." Harry could hear the pointed curiosity in Eggsy's voice in that question. "It wasn't instantaneous by any means. It was more like we became comfortable with each other over the years. We knew each other. Sean was usually the one in my ear when I was out in the field and when someone stays with you every step of the way through sometimes impossible circumstances, you come to trust one another on certain levels. Almost implicitly. After an even longer time going through missions together, you start to get to know each other by personality, even if that person is as reserved as Sean tends to be." 

Harry watched Eggsy out of the corner of his eye as he spoke, keeping careful attention on his expression. Eggsy had had a hard time with Merlin back at headquarters, and Harry had gathered that had been the case for Merlin as well. 

"I don't get why, though. Trust, I get, 'cause that makes sense, if you have to trust each other all the time on missions. You're just so different." Eggsy stabbed his fork into the one sausage he had left and pushed it through a puddle of grease. He tried to pick his words carefully, knowing that Harry might take offense if he said something wrong. After all, Eggsy would be offended if someone said bad things to him about Harry. "He's just so different from you, I dunno how you'd be friends. Like, don't you have to have some of the same interests and stuff? That's how it was with my mates. We all got along 'cause we were kinda similar, and we all liked skating. Well, and stealin' stuff," Eggsy admitted with a bit of sheepishness. His mother had been right about one thing: his older friends had been the one to teach him how to boost.

Harry quirked a smile at that. He reached out to rub his palm over the back of Eggsy's neck, massaging the tension away. "I see what you mean," Harry admitted. "And you're right, Sean and I are very dissimilar in personality and, well, even most interests. But he and I have always had...let's say difficulty in getting close to other people. For each of our own reasons. I believe that was the start of it, the impetus that allowed us to form a certain kind of camaraderie before we were good friends. And after that, a certain 'aligning' of interests, I suppose you might say, allowed us to become closer. For instance, he has the ability to understand what I have with you and accept that, whereas most people don't."

Eggsy had pulled a face at the word 'camaraderie', then softened as Harry went on. The reassuring touches helped, as they always did. "I like him a _bit_ better, that he's alright with us. Although I wish we didn't have to hide from everyone, but one less person is better'n nothing. He's weird, though. Different than you. You're a good kind of weird, and you like people. I couldn't believe he's got friends at all, much less a _dog_. Not the kind of dog I'd think he'd have, either."

Harry's fingers curled over the back of Eggsy's neck, spreading wide and resting there, a weight of connection, of comfort Harry hoped. Harry set down his fork. "There are other sides to him. Ones that you haven't seen, and not many people do. He plays everything very close to the vest, and though Sean may not be a very 'likeable' person, he is indeed a person. He can be kind in his own way." 

Harry didn't know whether his word would be enough for Eggsy to trust in that. In spite of everything, Eggsy did still trust his word it seemed, but experiences with Merlin would hold their own weight in the boy's mind as well. 

"Does this trouble you?" Harry decided to get to the bottom of it, whatever was eating at Eggsy about the tech agent. "That he and I are friends and yet he seems so 'cold', for lack of a better word?"

"I think it's weird. You can pick who you want for friends, and I don't think he's _bad_ ," Eggsy clarified. His plate was clean and, without the process of eating occupying his hands, be began to pick nervously. "I don't understand it, though. And... I dunno, we talked about things and I got... worried, I guess. What everything meant, how you were friends and all. Or I thought he'd be mad at me, and maybe he is still, but I don't think he was lying about being okay with me an' you. I know he's not cold all the time, either, 'cause he got all upset. I just..."

Eggsy shrugged. He wasn't at his most eloquent when nervous, and more so when he didn't know what to say.

Harry furrowed his brows and let Eggsy see the confusion in his face. Something wasn't adding up. He knew Eggsy had thrown a tantrum, likely due to very considerable stress and fear, while he was in Merlin's office and that Merlin had lost his temper and revealed he knew too much in return, but Eggsy sounded almost...wary of Merlin's friendship with Harry. 

Harry moved the tray aside and let his arm wrap around Eggsy's middle, mindful of the touch on his bare skin. "Eggsy. What exactly did the two of you argue over in Sean's office?"

Eggsy fidgeted again. He hadn't wanted to revisit the memories, and though he didn't think that Harry would scold or punish him, he didn't want to admit how badly he'd behaved either. "Well... um, I really missed you, and so we were talking about you a bit, so I didn't think about whether your boss was gonna punish us or how long I'd have to wait for you to get back. He was telling me about how you were friends, and knew each other for years and years. And I guess I said something that made him mad, 'cause he told me he doesn't comfort people and his job is to make new people quit, or somethin' like that."

Eggsy took a deep breath and continued, staring down at his hands and trying to be brave. Everything started to pour out. "I, um. I got mad and threw my tea into his wall, a bit. And swore at him, and told him he didn't know you and wasn't gonna take you away or make me leave. And he got mad and called me a brat and stuff and that he should have left me with the guards instead of rescuin' me. I tried to run away but he chased me down and said the guards would shoot me if they caught me runnin' in the hallways, but... it got better afterwards, I guess. I was still upset but we both said sorry, and I helped clean the wall, and he said he wasn't tryin' to steal you even though he likes you too, 'cause he likes you happy, so he doesn't hate me at all. Or that's what he said. I guess it's true, 'cause he didn't have to do a lot of stuff for me or keep that other agent from askin' me a bunch of questions."

Harry tried to picture everything Eggsy described, but he found it difficult. Obviously there had been a somewhat nuanced emotional context that he was only just beginning to grasp. 

"Were you afraid that Sean and I...that Sean would 'steal' me from you, as you said? Because you're worried about how close we are?" Harry pulled Eggsy up to his side and kissed the boy's temple to reassure him before he answered. If Eggsy didn't feel grounded and secure, he might try to dodge the question. Harry knew it wouldn't be an easy thing to admit to for someone so young and so inexperienced. Especially someone who already had so many relationships taken away from him before. 

Eggsy took a moment to snuggle up against Harry's side. Harry seemed unconcerned, except for the fact that he'd felt so threatened. Comfort and reassurance went a long way. Harry wasn't going to leave him. Eggsy believed that, but on that day, when he'd been so afraid and overwhelmed, Harry being stolen away seemed to be yet another possible threat. "Yeah. 'Cause you're close and have known each other for years, and he already knew about us 'cause you trust and tell him things, and he sees you when you're working, and he likes you too. I dunno. I guess it was stupid."

Harry's brows furrowed again, but Eggsy didn't see it. He decided it might be better to ask Merlin why Eggsy seemed to think he liked Harry than to prod at that idea with Eggsy himself. 

"Anything can seem threatening when your world has just been turned upside down," Harry reminded him. "And Sean is very important to me, but you needn't fear that I have any desire to leave you." Harry fluffed up the pillow behind them and scooted down on the bed, keeping Eggsy right where he was until they were both nestled comfortably again. "I went through a great deal of trouble getting you here, after all," Harry murmured into the top of Eggsy's head. Eggsy would believe him, even if he didn't know the half of it. 

"I had thought... maybe you'd be angry and not want me with you, anymore, 'cause I got too nosy. You explained things and I felt better, but then I wondered about stuff and kept lookin', and..." Eggsy's arms tightened their hold. The boy might not have believed Harry would leave _now_ , but it was a testament to the strength of his emotions at the time that his memories of events summoned such insecurity. "I kept lookin' and thought you were hiding stuff. And you were, and I'm not happy about that, but I guess it was 'cause you _had_ to. But I got both of us in trouble and almost got shot."

Harry sighed softly into Eggsy's hair. "I know.... I know, Eggsy. I really do." He held that way for a long minute before conviction overtook him. "Doubt me, doubt what I've done, who my friends are, doubt the institutions I work for, doubt everything I have ever told you, but do not doubt that I love you."

To a part of Eggsy's mind, he'd nearly lost Harry. To Harry, he had definitely nearly lost Eggsy. There were so many ways that meeting between the boy and Kingsman could have gone wrong and Harry knew them all far too well. Arthur had given him a slap on the wrist, considering. And a strong warning. But it was Eggsy whom Harry had feared the most. Eggsy who was still growing and changing, still learning about the world around him. Eggsy who might look back with different eyes someday. So Harry needed him to know that while he could. 

"You're not mad at me, then?" Eggsy had thought for certain that Harry would be at least a bit angry. He'd done something that was not unlike what his mother had done to him: disbelieving his words and violating his privacy to dig through his things. Eggsy would have been very upset if Harry had done anything of the sort, so it made sense for Harry to be upset with him.

Except Harry never seemed to get angry at him. Harry was the most patient adult Eggsy had ever met. The boy didn't know whether Harry was naturally that way or if it was because Harry loved him so much that he was always kind.

"I'm worried. But no...I am not mad at you," Harry admitted. Harry _was_ worried, but it was difficult to be angry with Eggsy, not when Harry held the boy up against himself in contrast. There was little Eggsy could do to outmatch him. Harry would always be far worse. 

Harry supposed in this case it was rather convenient. Because that was not the only reason he couldn't hold Eggsy's curiosity and determination against him. Harry... _liked_ those traits. Eggsy had done the impossible, or what should have been for a ten year old boy. In a very secret corner of Harry's mind, he allowed himself to be proud. 

Best not let that go to Eggsy's head though. Harry smiled and he knew Eggsy felt it.

"Why are you worried? It sounds like nothin' really happened, didn't it? Nobody took you away, or me away, and you're not mad at me. And I know you're a spy now, so you don't have to lie to me about what stuff in the house is or when you have to go on a mission," Eggsy pointed out. "I know more about you now, and you're even _cooler_. Not that you weren't cool before, because you were. But dating a spy is _really cool_ , you gotta admit."

"Hm, that is true." Harry laughed, soft and patient. "But I'm worried how you'll feel about me later," Harry said honestly. "These things don't aways sink in all at once. Sometimes it takes a while before you realise how you feel." Eggsy looked up at Harry and Harry met his eyes, raising his brows a little in a gesture of openness. That worry might be in the back of Harry's mind, might _have been_ in the back of Harry's mind, for a long time now, but he wasn't going to grill Eggsy about it now. 

Eggsy looked back in confusion. Harry looked calm to him, but Eggsy couldn't miss the fact that Harry's words were tinged with worry. The boy might not know a lot of things, but he'd never lacked in perceptive capabilities. "I'm not happy you're gonna be in danger, and I'll be thinking about that next time you go on a trip, but... it's not like I mind you bein' a spy. It's not like you're a bad spy, doin' bad things. I don't want you to travel a bunch, but I know you gotta. And you wouldn't be a spy for so long if you didn't like it. Be a bit like someone tellin' me not to be _me_ or like the things or the people I do, just 'cause they don't like some bits."

"Well. I'm lucky you think so." Harry gave Eggsy a tight smile and rubbed his back. "So...I suppose you realise this kind of work is a bit different than your Aikido classes by now. Although we do train for such kinds of fighting. I do hope that isn't too much of a let-down since I know you were inspired by Sean and myself." Harry didn't think it would be, but he did wonder if Eggsy would be as enthused about his athletics, especially in martial arts, now that he knew the real reason Harry could stand on his hands. 

"I still like Aikido. It's fun, and I think it could be useful. Not against guns, but hardly anyone has guns in Britain. Illegal ones, I mean." Eggsy shrugged. The little tray holding his breakfast plate wobbled, and Eggsy steadied it before Harry picked it up and set it aside. "Bad guys here seem to use fists and knives and those... metal things you slide your fingers into, that make punches hurt more. Or bottles and sticks. I couldn't be a spy, but it'll be good to know in case anyone gets on my case in school or something."

Harry hummed and nodded. "That's good to hear." Both in that it meant Eggsy hadn't been doing it just for Harry, and...that Eggsy would continue, which Harry found some pride in even if he did have to remind himself not to let it go too far. Eggsy may grow up with completely different interests, different specialities, ones that not even Eggsy himself cold predict right now. Even if Harry did have it in his head to introduce Eggsy to certain....survival techniques. 

"I've been meaning to sign us up for rock climbing lessons," Harry began again, hoping Eggsy would remember their talk many months ago about taking a holiday together. "I have a trip to France coming up, and I know of several good spots. I'd like to take you with me this time."

Excitement sparked in Eggsy's face. Harry knew instantly that that had been the right thing to say. " _Yes!_ " Eggsy exclaimed. " _Hell yes_ I wanna go with you. Uh. I mean... yeah, I'd like to go. If you're allowed to take me with. I've never even been out of England, much less done rock climbing." After a moment, Eggsy's face grew thoughtful. "Does France even _have_ rocks? I thought they were all wine and herbs and pastures for cheese cows and stuff. Flat and boring."

Harry laughed. "Certainly it does. Some of the best places in Europe are in France. There are the boulders in the Fontainebleau forest, and of course the Fressinieres valley along the French Alps. I'll show you on the map sometime, but you can get quite ambitious out there. I think the boulders would be a nice starting place for us, however. I'll see if Sean can get me an extra day or two out there so we can go exploring. Even on a short leash, I don't believe it'll be too difficult." 

Eggsy was a giddy, wiggling mess of a boy next to Harry now. The impish delight on his face as he looked up at Harry, imagining their holiday, made Harry's heart warm. 

"Aren't boulders all short, though? I ain't _that_ short, that we need to do shrimpy little rocks," Eggsy countered with a giggle. "I think I can keep up if you teach me, unless you're climbing rocks where all the things you grab onto is too far apart. We can climb up somewhere real high and have the place all to ourselves. And if I get tired, you could always carry me." Eggsy's grin had a teasing edge, enough that Harry couldn't tell if the boy was serious or not.

" _Hah_ , you think so, do you?" Harry jabbed Eggsy in the ribs and watched him squirm even more, but it still didn't wipe the grin off his face. "You'd be _very surprised_ about those boulders though. Little rocks, they are not. And if, by some miracle, you do scale them with ease, then I'll take you out to the Alps next. Just don't say I didn't warn you." 

Harry leaned back and let himself enjoy Eggsy's enthusiasm. The boy was all aglow with it, a warm little ray of energy all wrapped up in his arms. Harry could talk and relax like this for hours. 

"Have you been to the Alps before? I've heard some mountains have these funny sheep on them that, like, they walk straight up walls. Kinda like spiders. Nobody else could climb, but they manage to do it without any hands to grab onto stuff. That sounds pretty creepy, so I think that'd be fun to see," Eggsy rambled. He'd forgotten all about his worries about Harry's safety, or what he thought of Eggsy, or the awkwardness of the earlier conversation. The boy only cared that he was both going on a mission with Harry, in a way, and going on vacation with him. Harry cared enough to take him out to explore places with him. Maybe, just maybe, if they were off in the wilderness... they could kiss and act like a couple, because no one else would see.

"The mountain goats, or more specifically the Alpine ibex?" Harry quirked a brow and laughed. "We'll see who can climb greater slopes. I have been to the Alps before, in fact may times. They are a particularly good wilderness to disappear into if you're looking to do so and are trapped in the region. I've had to take a couple man-hunting expeditions through them even," Harry admitted. 

He continued on when Eggsy's eyes widened in surprise and then disbelief. Harry left out some of the more disturbing parts, but told Eggsy about the times Merlin had led him around the mountains, on snowmobile and skis alike, hiking and tracking, even being forced to camp their. Harry's tale led into others. He moved onto the Middle East and farther still, recounting missions from India and all the way up into Russia. 

For hours Eggsy listened to him talk, asking questions and even laughing together when Harry thought of a particularly amusing way to tell his tales, but in the end, and most importantly, he began to make Eggsy feel more secure in his work.

Eggsy seemed content to stay like that all day. Harry and his stories fascinated the boy, augmented no doubt by his love and attraction. Time rushed by, broken by another round of playful intimacy, a clean up that included Harry, and another trip to the kitchen.

When the day concluded, Eggsy had fallen asleep against Harry while watching a movie together. Harry still worried about where Eggsy's thoughts might go in the future, but with the boy settled against him, Harry felt just a touch better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week's chapter might be a week late. Sorry about that, but we're happy to have you reading as always. 
> 
> Also, apologies for falling behind on responding to comments, we've received so many amazing ones over the last couple weeks. Thank you all.


	28. Chapter 28

True to Arthur's word, Harry was kept very busy over the next several weeks. He rarely even got a moment alone with Merlin before he was sent off on the mission to France, for which he had Eggsy join him on the very last day--flying the boy out to meet him with help from a hired valet, unbeknownst to anyone at Kingsman but Merlin--and spending the next two days in the south of France putting their bouldering skills to the test. Agents were always required to take at least twenty four hours rest before they could be sent on another mission, not accounting for emergencies, and since Harry wasn’t slated to be back in the office for another day regardless, the extra day in France went generally unnoticed. 

For Eggsy, however, it was a great adventure. His first time away from home and everything familiar, and Harry thrilled in showing him the sights and escaping into the wild together. 

Surprisingly, Eggsy did very well for being a rookie at climbing. Not as well as he'd bragged, of course, but superb for someone with no real experience and much shorter limbs. The boy was very proud of himself, although he demanded help in soothing muscles that ached from unfamiliar strain - something that Harry was only too happy to provide.

They were both loathe to come back to England so soon, but it was unavoidable. Harry would be noticed if gone for too long, and Eggsy understood that there would be unpleasant consequences of some sort while Harry was on probation. They headed back home without too much fuss from a vacation cut short.

After that, Eggsy got a little more used to Harry's late nights and the occasional absence, even when Harry was just working in London. Harry likewise found he could tell Eggsy more about his day and that seemed to improve the boy's spirits at dinner time. 

It was a full week after Harry had returned from France before he was able to meet with Merlin again over anything other than strictly business. The tech agent had in fact installed several more CCTV cameras along the street outside Harry's home and had let him know that, officially, the house was bugged. Nevermind that it had been bugged long before that and the both of them had the records to prove it. Harry trusted Merlin to keep the relevant details to himself, and seeing as Eggsy hadn't in fact shown any signs of being a threat to Kingsman, all was well so far. 

Harry was fairly sure, however, that Merlin would be itching to start a new project of his own soon, and so during lunch one day when things had quieted down, he invited Merlin to their favourite little tea shop down the road. 

Merlin was punctual, as always. Handlers were often very much about control, and Merlin was no exception to the general pattern. 

Both men bought their tea and settled into an alcove in companionable silence. Habit determined both the location and how they sat. Gaps in one's field of sight and lack of planned escape routes tended to make for short careers. Merlin gave the other patrons a quick study before dismissing them all. "So. Your trip went well, I take it? You've seemed in better spirits since you came back."

"Mm, very well," Harry agreed, taking a sip. Everyone knew why Galahad had been getting the shit assignments lately, but he kept up with his additional work with determination and little complaint. Harry, just like most of the knights, was prone to the occasional grumble, but he knew Arthur was serious this time. "Eggsy certainly enjoyed it. He's already looking forward to the next trip. Says he'd like to go on as many as possible before school starts up again, and I'm considering it." Harry had decided not to bring Eggsy along on the tail end of missions unless they were extremely safe, but if Arthur loosened his leash after the next month, then he might be able to take the boy away on his own somewhere. 

Merlin nodded along, keeping his attention fixed on Harry yet casual enough not to be too unusual to outside observers. 

"I've been meaning to ask whether you've been entertaining any new projects for yourself?" Harry set his tea down and relaxed. 

"A few, here and there. I hadn't decided yet which to pursue, although one looks very promising. An individual with multiple properties in a few cities, held under other names, has committed what appears to be insurance fraud multiple times via planned arson. Already indulging in excessive greed at the expense of the livelihoods, worldly possessions, and quite a few lives of others, as I understand people have perished in these fires. It might be interesting to see him grow overconfident." Merlin sipped at his own tea. Public places were remarkable things. So long as one remained inconspicuous, kept their voices low, and their words fairly vague, many topics could pass without notice.

Harry hummed, thinking it over. He could see how Merlin would be drawn to such a man. "You're thinking fire would be a fitting way to go?" Harry asked. The idea was too readily available for him not to, whether this man got caught up in one of his own schemes or an accident mysteriously occurred at his own residence. He and Merlin were accustomed to reading one another's gazes at this point, both keeping a lookout in either direction for any patrons heading their way in passing. When such instances occurred both chose their words carefully until the threat was gone and they slid back into the conversation. It was second nature. 

"Very. It would be most unfortunate for mistakes to be made upon the next time of indulgence. Maybe luck will strike and he'll learn a bit of sympathy for some former tenants who lived through third degree burns." Merlin gave a slight shrug. Morality wasn't the focus here. Harry knew that Merlin had no interest in playing at justice or revenge, particularly as he himself would be a target if his projects were brought to light. Merlin found it far more intriguing to watch people rise only to crash and burn in a disaster of their own making. More or less; manipulation towards such an end didn't count, in his mind.

Harry gave a small smile into his mug, one he knew Merlin would catch. "You'll let me know if and when I can be of service of course?" And compile the relevant data, likely for them to pour over at a later meeting either inside one of Merlin's vans or in his office on a quiet night. It had been some time since the last due to understandable inconveniences in Harry's schedule, and Merlin's with the nights he's spent installing the street feeds and creating a backup system to separate Harry's real footage from what he may need to show Arthur if the day ever came. 

"Of course. It should be a relatively simple affair, unlike everything else as of late. I don't suppose you've had enough time for James to corner you yet, since you've been on assignment so often. He's very curious about your ward. Still. I didn't give him much opportunity to talk to the boy, but he can't believe that Eggsy stumbled in on nothing but pure luck." Merlin paused as a laughing group of teenagers walked past them to the counter to order. He continued once they were well out of earshot. "I suspect he's only incredulous because he knows his nephews couldn't pull it off, so he finds it unlikely that a boy from poverty and neglect could manage."

"So that's why he's been trying to catch me for coffee since Tuesday." Harry made a face. "It might have a bit to do with his embarrassment as well. Everyone knows it was he whom Eggsy followed." Harry stretched and sat back in his seat, thinking over his next question. "There was something...odd he said when I asked what had happened between the two of you to get you so upset that day." Harry began slowly before he set down his mug and allowed his eyes to smile for him. "He said he'd gotten the impression you might be keen to have me instead. He was a bit jealous." 

Had Harry not known Merlin for as long as he had and had many opportunities to closely observe him, he would have said that Merlin had no reaction to his query. The man was often still and reserved, but something about this was different. The effect was subtle, but Merlin had been casual, even relaxed, and now there was an absolute stillness to it all that hinted at tension underneath. "Was he? He became extraordinarily possessive at one point and began to destroy things in my office. I never did figure out how he jumped to that after I told him I wasn't the comforting type."

"Ah." Harry raised his brows and glanced down to his tea. He took a sip again just to let Merlin sit. He'd known this would be uncomfortable for Merlin, whether he'd intended it or not. "He was under a lot of stress at the time. And with everything being so uncertain...." Harry shrugged, a barely perceptible motion, more like a tilt of his head and a pursing of his lips. "I believe he has since put away most of his discomfort around you, however." Harry didn't try to take his eyes off Merlin. It would have been even more awkward, and potentially disingenuous, to do so. 

Merlin inclined his head slightly. The motion served as a nod and, in some respects, a hint of wary suspicion. Merlin knew that Harry wouldn't have mentioned the topic had he not had thoughts about its possible truthfulness, and Harry knew that Merlin would know as much from the moment the words were uttered. "That's for the best, if you want me to continue to mind him on longer trips. Children are difficult to manage when you're a point of contention in their minds."

" _Would_ you mind continuing to look after him in the future, even after such an argument? I heard he did a fair bit of damage to one of your mugs," Harry asked. Merlin would know the mug was not the real reason Harry was asking. Eggsy had also been living with Harry long enough to look after himself for extended periods of time. It wasn't even out of the question that Harry hire someone to come in and check on the boy if more than that was required. Now that Eggsy was comfortable there, loathe as Harry was to let strangers into his home, it could be done. 

"I wouldn't mind, so long as he promises not to engage in any more verbal abuse or put himself in danger out of spite. I don't intend to let him close enough to my belongings to break any more mugs." At last, a hint of a reaction bled through Merlin’s facade - just a sliver of bitterness, hid just as quickly behind the rim of a cup. "It will be your house, so it will be your mugs in danger of shattering. I think your boy will be more reluctant to damage things belonging to you."

"I solemnly give you my permission to break my mugs if it comes to that." Harry leaned closer and folded his arms on the table. "And I am sorry that he has pained you with such words. Although he is somewhat insecure....I have told him that you and I have been friends for a long time and will remain so, even if he doesn't understand why." Harry knew Merlin's fondness for him, if in fact his suspicion was true, was not the usual sort of fondness. He hardly felt threatened by it, even considering what usually came packaged with Merlin's other fondnesses. 

Merlin made a disdainful sound and glanced down at Harry's arms. Such was his personality, Harry knew; saving face and quickly burying any perceived weaknesses. Merlin made a habit of cataloguing and exploiting the weaknesses of others, which made him particularly loathe to expose his own. At least, not without contingency measures in place. "It's understandable that he's insecure. He's only just reached double digits. I had told him I had no intention of meddling with his adopted status. If you've confirmed that for him, perhaps he'll be more likely to accept it and do away with suspicions that he's going to be abandoned."

"I believe so as well." Harry took another sip from his mug, but refrained from sitting back. "He's not asked about it since. And he's grown comfortable, remarkably so, with the whole business of my vocation." Harry thought about that for a moment. Merlin was hardly one to have a heart to heart, especially here and now, but he had a feeling the man would understand the parallels. "He's given me no indication that he wants to ask me to quit, in spite of all the fears and insecurities he holds." As young as Eggsy was, he had been remarkably mature in that regard. He'd seemed to understand, once it had sunk in, that Harry was good at what he did and had no intention of leaving it behind. 

"That's promising. Someone that age usually does not have that sense of compromise," Merlin replied after a moment of thought. "Even a great many people who are much older never shake a particular sense of... entitlement. They expect, consciously or not, that their companions will change to suit their tastes and preferences immediately or over a period of time with some nudging and suggestive comments. The fact that he is comfortable, knowing the risks of the profession and the amount of travel involved, is unusual and very fortunate."

"It is," Harry admitted. And it truly was. Eggsy was...something else. Harry had known the boy was beautiful from the start. It had been the hook, after all, but the infatuation...that had come on slowly, when he thought back to it. Those long months of listening to Eggsy and his mother talk about his day, about what he thought about the world, spoken only in his delightful child's voice until Harry had installed the video surveillance. 

Eggsy was almost too good to be true. Almost. Harry, however, was not, and he knew it. He could walk in Eggsy's world with ease, it was why he made such a good field agent, but he would forever be more suited to his own. 

"You're worried that your luck will only last for so long." Merlin didn't need to phrase his words as a question. He knew, as he'd known before what a dangerous game they were playing, manipulating events while trying to keep Eggsy in the dark. He'd counselled Harry to be more diligent and cautious in hiding things and taking precautions, and yet Eggsy was cleverer than they’d expected. The first veil of illusions had been shattered, and Merlin knew that Harry had to be preoccupied with the question of what would happen should Eggsy shatter the rest. Or _when_ , for such an epiphany seemed to be inevitable.

"Yes." Harry's fingers wrapped around his mug, feeling the warm surface against his hand, but he didn't take a drink. He knew there was little comfort Merlin would give him, and he preferred that to blind optimism. He only hoped he had given Merlin some comfort for whatever feelings he did harbour for Harry, whether they were what Eggsy so clearly thought they were or whether they were something else. Eggsy had thought it so simple, but Eggsy did not know Merlin in the way that Harry did. 

"I'm going to assume that you've planned for all possibilities." Something in Merlin's tone was odd. Harry glanced up to find an equally strange expression on the man's face. Empathy and concern weren't emotions that Merlin was ever prone to expressing, something that made him noted and avoided by staff and prospective staff. The expressions fit badly, like a puzzle piece that had been pounded into place, and yet there they were. "It's not pleasant to contemplate, but events could go many ways, and some are more likely than others."

Harry's own face softened in return. He took a slow breath, appreciating the kindness. "Yes. At least in my mind I've made plans. I've put some money away for him. If I do lose him, I do not want to see him fall into the same traps his family was sinking into in the first place. I've thought of...places he might go, to stay, if he does not wish to go back with his mother. There are several boarding schools he'd do well in, I think. Ones more suited to his upbringing than our social circles." Harry had considered all these things, but had been reluctant to make plans for them. Not while the paranoia was...grounded in reality, for sure, but still little more than a niggling presence at the back of his mind while Eggsy was doing so well in his care. But Merlin brought reason, as always. 

"You should prepare things for yourself as well. There will be several options we can give him, if that comes to pass and he chooses to leave, but he'll also have to choose to accept whatever is offered," Merlin pointed out. "And he won't be the only one who needs care."

Merlin paused. However much he scrutinized the dark liquid in his mug, no answers were provided in its depths. The future couldn't be scried, any more than the complexities of his own feelings on matters. "I know that we have a very particular arrangement based on the current state of affairs, but I hope you know that I will continue to assist you with matters, regardless of what I would prefer to do or your ability to fulfil your end of things, should the worst come to pass."

Harry looked at the man across from him. Merlin's expression was closer to normal now, but he still held a particular sort of softness that Harry doubted anyone else would recognise. A part of Harry wanted to laugh at the notion of finding help for himself, for what could come close to replacing what he had now? But he knew better, and not just for Merlin's sake. Harry would need something to hold onto, something to fill his days with, but if Merlin was offering to find some new boy.... They both knew it wouldn't be so simple. 

Harry nodded his head. "Thank you." He'd have liked to tell Merlin how much he appreciated everything the man was prepared to do for him, but too much and Harry would put him off. "If this does happen, it'll become a cold war between us. I can make arrangements to be separated, but he has nowhere else to go." And Harry thought it would be worth it, even if in the end Eggsy did hate him and grew up distant off in some school half the year and with nannies the other. Harry had always, _always_ known it was likely. But for just a few years of what they'd had, that might be worth it. 

"I'm well aware. His relatives are not an option. The one doesn't care for him, and the other has gone swiftly downhill. More alcohol, more money problems, and involved again with her criminal boyfriend as a source of comfort, if not support. I doubt he'll want to return to that environment." This time, Michelle's disastrous state of affairs wasn't the result of meddling. 

Neither of them were under any delusions that it wasn't Harry who'd put her there just as neither had really expected her to recover. Even her visits with Eggsy had been growing further and further apart, down to once a month now, if that. Eggsy missed her fiercely, but he was still happy at Harry's. Once she was gone and her absence was off his mind, he cheered right back up again. 

"We'll see what comes of it," Harry finally took a sip of his tea and set the empty mug aside, "but for now plans are enough. I can only hope that if and when this revelation comes to pass, it will somehow be less than I thought it was." They both knew that was a tall order. But Harry knew he couldn't let it consume him now, not this early, lest his own sadness tip Eggsy off. 

Merlin nodded. Someone else might have said something optimistic, perhaps even untrue, to turn Harry's spirits around, but Merlin was not that sort of person. Far better to be grounded in reality and prepared for the most likely outcomes than to pin all hopes on what probably would never happen, or so he thought. "There's time yet."

Harry nodded back. "Yes. And in the meantime...let's enjoy it." He gave Merlin a half smile. "So do keep me informed on this new project, and we'll chat again soon." The shop was getting busier now, lunchtime fast approaching, and Harry rose from the table to straighten his suit. It was strange how Merlin, with all of his cool efficiency and practicality, could put Harry at ease. There was something to be said for having someone on his side. Or a partner in crime, as it were.

Merlin returned the half-smile, but without the same projected confidence, it fell flat. Harry was the only one, between the two of them, who was practiced at putting on an optimistic and personable visage. Perhaps Harry _was_ feeling more optimistic. Merlin was far more certain that he was watching his friend walk towards a fall, and them too closely tied for him to avoid being dragged along. For once, he wasn't relishing the thought of what pleasure such a spectacle might bring. "Soon, then. I'll be in touch."

They walked amiably together through the gathering throng of customers at the counter, and then parted at the street. It was still not common knowledge that Merlin and Galahad met for casual lunches outside of work, even if one was supposed to be keeping tabs on the other. Merlin headed back to the shop and Harry wound his way around the long way, making a few stops to take care of errands as he did so. 

So long as Arthur received--and dismissed--Merlin's weekly reports on the continued lack of danger at the Hart household, they were left to do as they pleased. 

They simply had to make certain Arthur never suspected that Merlin was tailoring the reports and footage to ensure they were overlooked. Arthur brooked no threats to the organization he regarded as his own personal property and vision. The agents who had replaced the other founders had never totally been regarded as equals, no matter how much they adhered to Arthur's thoughts about what sort of person made a proper Kingsman agent.

Harry and Merlin weren't keen to find out what sort of punishment they might incur for conspiring to deceive Arthur while possibly placing the organization in danger.

* * *

Many more months past and Harry took to Merlin's new project with little provocation needed. One blended into another, and another after that. His leash with Arthur began to grow longer until Merlin was certain that Arthur had stopped looking at his weekly reports completely. Harry still wouldn't be in the clear for a long time, but he was getting some time to himself again, and some decent missions, too. 

Merlin's tinkering with the flight schedules allowed Eggsy to join Harry that summer in Milan, New York, Singapore, and even Harry's much awaited Venice. Harry took Eggsy to the beaches wherever he could find them. He indulged in walking along the shores, collecting shells, and eating from the little shops they found along the way where Eggsy could see the people and glimpse other worlds he never would have seen had they stayed in Harry's chauffeured cars. His delight at watching Eggsy discover the beauty of the world, little by little, was limitless. 

The months of summer melted away, and it wasn't long before Eggsy had to return to school in the fall. Harry sneaked in one or two little getaways while he could, but as fall faded into winter he had to concede that Eggsy needed no further distractions. 

Eggsy was quite put out about his lack of escapes, but not overmuch. School kept him very occupied, particularly with Harry's encouragement, which made Eggsy more eager than he'd ever been to succeed and earn praise for his work. When school wasn't eating up the boy's time, Harry provided other things to fill it: small projects, Aikido lessons, money and an oyster card for Eggsy to go spend time with his friends, and of course time together at home. Eggsy had grown since the previous winter, necessitating another shopping trip for clothing, and Harry treasured every moment he had Eggsy at his side, looking up at him for approval.

As the days grew shorter and Eggsy spent much of his time away at school, it was sometimes harder when Harry had to spend a few days away on a mission. The cold dampened Eggsy's enthusiasm to simply run off to see his friends and the obligation of homework kept him indoors just as well. It was easier to miss Harry on those days. Harry always returned with a gift for Eggsy, however. Some token of his time away. Most often they were trinkets he picked up from whatever locale he visited. Eggsy had a growing collection of them in his room, even if it still went unused. 

Harry told Eggsy about his trips now. Perhaps not all the relevant details, but he gave Eggsy just enough to paint a picture of each mission, enough for Eggsy to turn it into a little action flick in his head with Harry racing fast cars down the winding streets of some little town in the mountains of Austria or dodging bullets and infiltrating underground criminal organizations in the States. Most importantly, Harry always came back safe and whole. 

Eggsy checked, every time, much to Harry's delight. He wouldn't simply take the older man's word for it, and it became a ritual for each time Harry returned: Harry would pretend to protest, and Eggsy would insist until they had retired to the bedroom where Eggsy could remove each piece of his clothing one at a time and inspect the skin underneath.

Routines were useful. They reassured Eggsy, both in the moment and regarding the future. Welcoming Harry home in this way wouldn't prevent him from being harmed during a mission to come, and Eggsy knew that, but the illusion that it might made the boy feel better.

Before Eggsy, Harry's life had rarely been routine. Liquor and the gym were the only constants he could think of outside of work. He had a notoriety of keeping to himself. Now his days, and nights, were filled with Eggsy and it was surprising how comfortably he took to it. 

By the time mid-December hit, Harry had filed away his worries about Eggsy's insecurities in the back of his mind. He'd returned from an unusually long mission only days ago, one where he'd been gone for almost a week, albeit with regular check-ins by phone. Eggsy had been a ball of excitement when he'd returned and the boy's questions went on afterwards, nonstop. 

"Did you see any pirates while you were there? _Real_ ones? I heard in school that there're still pirates in some places, but they're not like the ones in the stories, because those pirates are from hundreds of years ago." Eggsy trailed along behind Harry as the older man carried his luggage up the stairs. The boy couldn't contain himself and Harry felt a slight tug on his clothing as Eggsy grabbed a bit of his jacket.

"No pirates, Eggsy," Harry chided and tossed a wink over his shoulder. "That'll be next month." He set down his luggage at the foot of his bed and turned around to find Eggsy, still with a fist full of Harry's jacket, step closer. Harry reached down and lifted him into his arms, prompting Eggsy to let go and instead loop his arms around Harry's neck and his legs around Harry's waist. Eggsy was heavier than when Harry did this a year ago. He kissed Eggsy on the lips, chaste but intimate. "Weapons smugglers this time. Off the coast of Yemen."

"Aren't smugglers kinda the same thing? Sort of. It's still illegal stuff on ships, it's just someone else that's doing the stealin' bit, if they're stolen." Eggsy clung for a moment and closed his eyes. Feeling how solid Harry was everywhere they touched helped. So did the hand that drifted a bit lower from where Harry was holding him up. The ache Eggsy had been nursing from missing Harry turned into a different sort. "Weapons, huh. Guess I better check you over, make sure nobody used any of 'em on you."

Harry's smile curved. "Indeed you had better. Very dangerous work, that was." Harry leaned in for another kiss and this time it lingered before he turned them around and let himself sink down on the bed with Eggsy sitting on his lap. Harry could have helped, could have at least kicked off his shoes, to make the process faster, but he liked letting Eggsy take his suit apart. It was...strangely arousing, watching the boy's small hands move to the buttons of his jacket, undoing each with unpractised fingers. Eggsy knew where all the clasps and buttons were by now. He even knew how to remove Harry's shoulder holster, but he was still a little clumsy, not having to wear suits everyday himself. Harry liked that though. 

Eggsy still minded Harry's instructions to be careful with it, too, even when it was plain that he was impatient. Harry was slowly teaching him to savour the experience of drawn out anticipation. The lesson was very much a work in progress. Eggsy didn't exactly toss Harry's clothes carelessly to the floor, but neither did he take his time stripping the layers away.

Harry didn't mind. The next stage was something he looked forward to, as well. Eggsy would touch and make a show of examining each bared patch of skin, and often his mouth began to follow his eyes and fingers. 

"You got scratched a bit," Eggsy said accusingly once one arm was out of a shirtsleeve. 

"They had a cat." Harry shrugged, his eyes crinkling at the corners. They both knew he was making light of it, and Eggsy went along with such remarks only when it was minor damage. Harry let his hands wander farther down Eggsy's backside as Eggsy resumed, only removing them when Eggsy pulled off his shirt. It was laid next to the tie, which Eggsy had been mindful enough to lay out without creasing. Harry was focused on other things at the moment though, like getting his hands back on Eggsy although he had to lay back when Eggsy went for his belt, undoing the fine leather with a clink and fumbling at the button of his trousers for a moment before Eggsy got them loose. 

Harry held himself up on his elbows and watched the boy work, focused and yet impatient. The subtle signs of the year's passing were there, Harry knew, but they had not yet taken away how small Eggsy was still, or the softness in his cheeks and his eyes. Harry had plenty of time to relish it still. 

Small hands smoothed over the planes and angles of Harry's stomach and hips. Eggsy had to leave Harry's reach to remove Harry's trousers, returning once he'd set them aside to work on the last few remaining articles of clothing. Now Eggsy no longer had to be quite so careful, and Harry's socks were pulled off and tossed aside without further ado.

Eggsy's fingers slipped past the waistband of Harry's pants and lingered there. Both of them wore similar expressions, scrutinizing the other with a tender, hungry sort of longing that knew it was soon to be satisfied, but only Eggsy looked impossible that way, like a Caravaggio come to life.

Priceless, Harry thought. He shifted his hips, impatient under Eggsy's hands. Eggsy's mouth curved much the same as Harry's had. Harry knew it was an expression Eggsy had picked up from him, but set into the boy's face, on such a little mouth.... It made Eggsy look delectable. Harry was suddenly very aware of the rush of blood to his dick, and Eggsy certainly noticed the muscle rise under the dark fabric between his hands. If anything, it only made the look in the boy's eyes more impish. 

"Do you need some help with that?" Harry asked, low and teasing. 

"Was just gonna be asking _you_ that," Eggsy countered. "Don't think that's been injured though. I don't think it'd do that quite so quick when you look at me if you were hurtin'." After another moment or two, grinning at Harry as if they both didn't know what the outcome was going to be, Eggsy finally tugged on the cloth and began pulling it down.

Not without a bit of playfulness, however; Eggsy caught Harry's cock against the curled waistband, pulling him lower with it until he sprang free. Eggsy couldn't help but laugh, both at the sight and the sound it made when it hit Harry's stomach. "Whoops. Guess maybe I did need help."

"C'mere," Harry growled through his grinning teeth and snatched Eggsy up by the arms. He pulled the boy atop him and scooted farther back on the bed while Harry began to work Eggsy's shirt and trousers off. Eggsy giggled all the while, and Harry's hands were faster than his own had been. In no time at all, Eggsy was just as bare and Harry's hands were back on the cheeks of his arse, bringing his hips down against Harry. 

Harry kissed him and flipped them. He wanted Eggsy under him this time. After so long apart, he needed it. 

"I hadn't finished lookin' you over yet," Eggsy said, not even bothering to pretend that he was truly protesting. His arms twined around Harry and he wiggled his hips, knowing exactly what Harry was thinking and that the movement would spur him on. "Guess if you're not gonna _let_ me look at you, I'd better see if you're alright some other way. Like... feelin', instead of seein'. If everything works right, then you must be ok."

"Sounds good to me." Harry opened his mouth against Eggsy's neck like he wanted to leave a mark there. He grazed his teeth against it and pulled Eggsy's hips up against his abdomen, giving Eggsy a rush of sweet pleasure, enough to make his head fall back and allow Harry more room...but Harry restrained himself from biting down. He took one of Eggsy's hands and guided it to the head of his cock, moaning when Eggsy gripped in the way he knew Harry liked. Blindly, Harry reached for the night stand and only just gripped the drawer to pull out the lube. He squirted a dab on his fingers before reaching down to help Eggsy along, slicking his own shaft for the boy and teasing his fingers over Eggsy's cock in return. 

This foreplay wouldn't last long. Harry wanted to be inside of Eggsy and they both knew it. 

It was a testament to Harry's self-control that he was able to keep himself in check while Eggsy's hands slid over his cock. Everything was much more familiar to the boy now, and he'd begun to learn tricks - where to press, where to stroke, how much pressure to use. Harry endured the teasing and kept his focus; hurry or no, some things couldn't be rushed. Eggsy's body opened up more quickly with practice and familiarity, but minutes still passed before Harry could easily slide his fingers into the boy.

When he was ready, Harry picked him up and placed his hips in position, allowing Eggsy to wrap his arms around Harry's neck and his legs around Harry's middle. Harry kissed him, long and sweet, before he lined himself up with Eggsy and sank inside slowly. Eggsy squirmed a little and Harry let him, but he held Eggsy fast. He slowed when Eggsy squirmed a little more, letting his body adjust to Harry, and then Harry pressed on. Their eyes locked the whole time. Feeling the initial penetration like that, staring into Eggsy while Eggsy stared into Harry right back made Harry imagine what he felt like inside the boy, invading his body, causing discomfort at first, but knowing it would soon bring pleasure. 

Slowly, gradually, Harry pushed deeper until he felt the stopping point - where no amount of relaxation would bring anything but pain, small as Eggsy was. Harry pulled back a little and began to move. Eggsy murmured Harry's name before the sound was swallowed in another kiss and they lost themselves in one another, healing the worries they both had when they were apart. The worries weren't as strong as they had been months before, but it would take time for the both of them not to worry about losing the other.

Every time Harry returned from a mission and brought this kind of resolution with him, it brought Eggsy a little more security and a little more trust. 

Even while Harry sank into him, arms tight around Eggsy and body quivering with the effort of holding back so as not to hurt him, Harry cupped the back of his head with soft touches. Gentle in one way when he was driven to let go. Eggsy could hear it in the way Harry breathed deep, mouth open, teeth clenched, but only when Eggsy pushed his hips back against Harry did Harry allow himself to thrust faster. 

Eggsy felt free to make demands in that way now. The shy youth that had trembled at the thought of telling Harry how he felt and what he thought about had morphed into a boy who was _very_ forward, at least about some things. Harry had been diligent in unravelling Eggsy's shame about bedroom roles and his enjoyment of penetration, just as he'd carefully tended the boy's self-esteem and psyche in other areas of his life.

Eggsy didn't simply agree to this kind of sex because Harry wanted it and he wanted to please the older man. Eggsy _enjoyed_ it, and Harry took care to see that it stayed that way.

Gradually Harry was able to release some of the fervour he was holding back. His hands roamed over Eggsy, and while his thrusts remained controlled, there was a sharpness to them. Harry reached down between them and took hold of Eggsy's little cock, feeling Eggsy draw breath as soon as he did.   
Harry had known how to touch him from the start. It had shocked Eggsy at first, just what his body could do. But now, Harry could play him like an instrument. Eggsy had no chance of holding out against him even if he'd wanted to. And this time Harry was watching him all the while. That didn't always happen. Their eyes weren't always locked on each other like that. Sometimes Harry had Eggsy lay back and let Harry explore his body. Sometimes it was in the middle of the night when both of them were sleepy, caught up in the sheets, and could barely see at all. But when Harry came home after being away, he made sure Eggsy was still there with him. 

Harry could pin the boy with a look just as easily as he could pin his body down. Eggsy's eyes were clear, if lust-darkened, and just as intent on Harry, drinking in the sight of him with an adoring gaze. Eggsy was still his. Nothing had transpired while Harry had been away on work. Eggsy was still there, still willing, and still looking up at Harry with undisguised love and not a hint of hesitation. Love was writ all through his body, wordless and tingling, saturated all through his youthful skin and the way Eggsy clung and tried to move ever closer.

That love spurred Harry on, coupling with his own desire and how long he'd been without Eggsy and how often he'd thought of coming home to this. Harry wrapped his fingers around the base of his own cock, determined not to come too soon. He was so worked up it would have been easy, but he needed to see Eggsy come first. This wasn't just about Harry chasing his own pleasure, although Harry _was_ very much chasing his own pleasure. He shifted, brought his weight into it a little so that Eggsy's small body rocked with him, but Harry was relentless over what he knew from little more than reading Eggsy's reactions was just the right spot. 

Attention was all it took - watching for when Eggsy gasped or his mouth dropped open a little bit, when he arched or squirmed, when his grip or his body tightened in response to a spark of pleasure. Harry found the right angle and kept a steady pace, and Eggsy began to lose himself. Harry felt the body underneath him start to tense, deep in Eggsy's core, as he drew nearer and nearer to climax. Eggsy was panting by then, and his eyes had closed. Harry knew that all it would take was a little more. A sudden quickening of thrusts, a little more friction as he stroked the boy's cock, a hint of teeth at Eggsy's neck, and Eggsy would come apart.

Harry moved just a little higher right before it happened, putting his mouth right at the juncture of Eggsy's neck and throat, teeth and tongue. He knew Eggsy would feel how much he wanted to leave a mark, how Harry's top teeth grazed and how he trapped the bottom ones behind his tongue, pressing there and sucking just gently enough while his fingers over Eggsy's cock and his thrusts into the boy grew more and more impatient. Eggsy was all heat and softness no matter how hard he clung to Harry or how tight he clenched his body.

Eggsy thought about being marked right there - high enough that it couldn't be hidden, high enough that people would see - and in his fantasy there were no repercussions. They would go out, and people would see he belonged to Harry, and Harry belonged to him, and no amount of shock and disapproval would change that. Eggsy trembled as climax overtook him, leaving him gasping for air and sinking into the feeling of Harry possessing him, inside and out.

Harry's arm gripped tighter around his back, like Eggsy might collapse and fall even though there was nowhere to go between Harry and the mattress. Harry hummed with deep satisfaction and lifted off Eggsy's neck to watch his face. Harry let go of his cock, a small relief with the waves of pleasure still riding through him, but Harry didn't stop thrusting. Before Eggsy could come back to himself, Harry let go of the base of his own cock, readying for his own climax, and stroked Eggsy's cheek with his fingertips. A light smear of lube came with it, but Harry didn't seem to notice. He sometimes set propriety by the wayside during their intimate encounters. Eggsy had come to understand that Harry even liked it, dirtying him in ways that Eggsy wouldn't have imagined a proper gentleman would. But no matter how lewd Harry could be in bed, it never seemed to touch him out of it. When he was clean and done up in his finery, glasses straight and hair perfect, there was no trace of the Harry who would smear lube over Eggsy's lip with his thumb, who would pull it down and watch with lust filled eyes as Eggsy opened for him, before Harry kissed him and sucked on that lip as he finally came inside Eggsy, hips stuttering. 

The only times it ever touched Harry outside of these encounters were all in his eyes. 

Truth be told, sometimes eye contact was starting to be enough. Eggsy would catch Harry looking at him or watching him in certain ways, and part of him would remember times like this - a warm mouth on his own, the sensation of Harry filling him, the stickiness coating his skin from their exertions - and Eggsy would feel things stirring. He knew that he could ask for whatever fantasies he thought up later, once they were in private, and Harry wouldn't mock him or turn him down. The intimate parts of Harry that no one else ever saw were Eggsy's to hold dear. The person Harry was underneath the finery was for him alone.

Harry held like that over him for a long moment. Only after he'd caught his breath did he pull out of Eggsy, just as carefully as he'd entered him. Harry let himself collapse beside him, one arm draped over Eggsy, still so close one of Eggsy's legs still wrapped around his hip. Harry's eyes were fond now. They so often were, after. 

"It's good to be back," Harry murmured, stretching his long body against Eggsy. He looked like he could fall asleep like that, and Harry was certainly tired, but he had no intention of wasting his first night home, and not when Eggsy would surely want to hear about his time away.

Eggsy clung to him as much as his loose muscles would allow. After Harry's absence, he wanted as much closeness as he could get. "You get to be back for a while now, right? It's pretty cold today, but I thought... y'know, we could go ice skatin' or something this next week. I kinda want to go out and do stuff with you, if you're not too tired from traveling for missions." Unspoken was Eggsy's wish to be seen. It didn't matter that no one else would know them for what they were. Eggsy merely wanted to be seen with Harry, to have some sort of relationship acknowledged even if it was the wrong one, and to do things with Harry out in public.

Whether Harry caught on was hard to tell, but he smiled and his eyes crinkled and he looked happy enough. "I'd love to. I believe they've even set up a rink in Kensington gardens already. It comes with a lovely hot chocolate bar if I remember correctly." Harry must have remembered from years before because he and Eggsy hadn't gone last year. It was hard to believe he'd already been living with Harry for that long. Over a year now. 

Harry's fingers brushed through Eggsy's hair, damp at his temples. He didn't look like he was done admiring Eggsy yet. 

Eggsy nearly preened under the attention, pleased about the way Harry was looking at him and touching him as well as how readily he'd agreed to go out together. Harry had never refused, but it meant a lot to the boy that Harry never showed any signs of being embarrassed to be in public together, no matter what Eggsy chose to wear or what the activity of the day happened to be. "Gettin' close to Christmas, ain't it? I mean, not yet, but... We should think about stuff we want to do. Besides each other," Eggsy added. "You did a lot of stuff for me last year and I don't even know what you want."

Harry laughed, eyes turning devilish at Eggsy's innuendo. "Just you. Here. With me. That's all I want. It still isn't your job to find me gifts." Harry drew a, thankfully clean, finger down Eggsy's nose as though he were being admonished, but with none of the heat behind it. Harry didn't look offended that Eggsy wanted to do something for him, just quietly amused. Maybe even a little pleased at the thought. Harry was often like that, Eggsy had found. Michelle had liked to go out with her friends, had liked to have her own social life and she put on parties for those friends and found gifts for them when she could afford it. Harry had Landon, and he was friendly with the other agents at his work, Eggsy knew, but it was different. His social life didn't seem to be as important to him as much as Eggsy's mother's had. Harry liked watching Eggsy. He liked doing things for Eggsy, and he liked seeing Eggsy happy. 

Eggsy didn't understand it, but he could enjoy it without understanding. People were all different, and so he thought that maybe Harry was just a very different sort of person who didn't need as much socializing. Perhaps he felt he had _too_ much socializing; if Eggsy had to run around constantly pretending to be other people and chatting targets up for information, he might get tired of such things too. "Yeah, ok, but I _want_ to do something. Like photos of us. Or photos of me, if you want. Or something you could wear and take with you on missions, like a good luck charm to remind you of me. I know you don't _need_ anything, but I wanna do something."

The corners of Harry's mouth curved. "You know I could never say no to photos of you." Harry had a small collection by now, the ones Eggsy had let him take when they were alone together. Some were of Eggsy posing. Some were of him just being silly. Others were far more intimate. Harry had once taken several of Eggsy kneeling, head between Harry's thighs and mouth around the head of his cock. Eggsy had never realised how big it looked compared to him until he saw those, but Harry liked it. Harry loved it. He kept those ones separate from their vacation photos, which were happily displayed around the house. Eggsy was pretty sure the safe in the back of Harry's closet was meant for work, but he'd said it would be a safe place for those photos as well. 

"So just think about it, I guess. You can't really unwrap those, unless you let me use the photo printer, but that seems a bit silly to wrap them up if you're already seen them all." Eggsy shrugged, but he was inwardly pleased that Harry had accepted at least one of his suggestions. Doing things for Harry seemed more meaningful than buying him things, particularly as all of Eggsy's pocket money came from Harry anyways, and Eggsy couldn't afford the sorts of things Harry might want. "I guess you could unwrap me, though, so maybe that counts? Bit hard to fit me in a stocking or under a tree, though."

Harry drew Eggsy into his arms and pulled the boy atop him. "I think you'd fit quite nicely under the tree," Harry countered, and Eggsy might just. He had when he was younger, but that had been at Christmases with his mum. "But unwrapping you would be just as enjoyable either way." Eggsy felt Harry's hand run up his back and into his hair and he knew Harry was imagining it. “For now, however, we should get washed up. You must be hungry. Unless you've been snacking all day." With a teasing pat to Eggsy's rear, Harry sat the both of them up and looked around for his robe. 

"I might've a bit, but I'm still hungry anyways." Eggsy couldn't help but grin when Harry glanced over at him. Eggsy couldn't have lied about his snacking habits had he wanted to. The state of the pantry said it all, and Harry knew that once Eggsy's favourite snacks ran out, his own started to disappear. "What're we gonna do for dinner? Order something in? Or did I not tire you out enough to stop you burnin' stuff in the kitchen?"

"Oh no, we're definitely ordering in tonight," Harry laughed and donned his robe. "What do you say to that Italian place around the corner?" Harry helped Eggsy off the bed, still far too tall for him without a jump, and led him to the shower. They'd gotten pretty messy that time, and Eggsy's ritual of checking Harry over after he'd been away often ended as such. 

Harry cleaned them up quickly. He washed Eggsy all over and indulged the boy's playful side, heightened as his spirits were with Harry's return, and before long they were dry and dressed with dinner on the way. 

Eggsy always felt better when Harry was back, but much more so when he came back uninjured. He usually did, but not always. Bruises and scratches reminded Eggsy of how dangerous Harry's profession really was, and the fact that his own father had died trying to become a part of Harry's world. Eggsy didn't want to contemplate any of that. He much preferred Harry as he was right then - happy and loving, so skilled that no one in the world could get to him, teasing Eggsy as he bit into a cheese-stuffed shell and a string of mozzarella escaped the boy's mouth. Eggsy knew it wasn't strictly true, but as far as he wanted to believe, Harry was immortal and all powerful.

It certainly seemed like it on nights like that, when warmth filled the house and Harry looked so strong and kind under the light of the dining room chandelier. He rarely took his eyes off Eggsy, and it was a comfort that Harry had missed him, and was indulging in his presence now, just as much as Eggsy had missed Harry. 

They ate until they were full and then curled up on the couch after dinner, Eggsy still happy and squirming against Harry even when they'd found something to watch. Harry told him all about his time away, as much as he could, and Eggsy tried to imagine how all that business with the smugglers had happened while he'd been in school, as normal and boring as could be. 

Eggsy didn't say it, but he wished that _he_ could go on adventures like Harry did. Harry tried to make parts of it sound boring, like a lot of waiting around, but even the waiting sounded exciting compared to school. It was waiting when enemies could be anywhere. It was the tension of the moments right before Eggsy tricked people, like performing sleight of hand or boosting something while his mates distracted security. It had to be better than daydreaming in maths lessons or doodling while a teacher tried to make him care about a very boring book.

Maybe, just maybe, Harry would let him join and become a spy when he was old enough. Then Eggsy could go with Harry on missions and be his partner.

Harry remained none the wiser to Eggsy's fantasy as the hours passed. He was laid out with Eggsy curled up against his side as usual, comfortable and familiar. Eggsy caught him falling asleep on the couch in the end, and once Harry was roused he declared it was bedtime and sent Eggsy off to brush his teeth and get into his pyjamas. Harry still needed to send one last email before the night was up, and so it was several minutes more before he joined Eggsy for bed. 

Eggsy was waiting for him with the sheets turned down. The boy still didn't want to go to bed, but the disappointment of needing to sleep was offset by the fact that Harry would be with him. Harry was home. He wouldn't be sleeping alone, wondering what Harry was doing right then, and that made the bed all the more appealing, and certainly it was more appealing to Harry with Eggsy in it as well.

As usual, Harry undressed to his shorts and climbed in next to Eggsy before turning off the light. The way Harry reached for him and curled around him was a world of difference from how alone he'd been when Harry was gone. But Harry soothed him with gentle caresses and kisses to the top of his head. Harry was warm and solid and made everything right in the world when he had Eggsy in his arms, safe and sound at night.

"Back to the usual tomorrow," Harry said, soft against Eggsy's forehead before he pulled back. "I do hope you were alright while I was away." 

"Yeah. Just... lonely, y'know? It's too quiet when you're gone, even if I turn the telly on." Eggsy bit his lower lip, hesitating for a moment before deciding to be honest. Harry wasn't the sort to laugh at him, no matter how weird he got. "I kinda... um, some of your stuff might have wrinkles in it. I hung it back up, but I thought I might feel better if I could pretend you were home, so I took some of your things and stuffed 'em with towels and put them in a chair near me while I was studyin' and playing video games. So I could pretend you were home even if you weren't."

Harry's brows rose, and for perhaps the first time it looked like Eggsy had really surprised him. But then the corners of his lips pulled up and a wide grin broke out over his face. He pulled Eggsy close and kissed him again, this time over his brow. "I hate leaving you alone for so long. But I don't mind a few wrinkles." 

Harry had promised him those trips wouldn't be often, and he'd seemed to manage that promise well enough. Especially since Arthur had let up on his responsibilities. 

"There will be no need for that for quite a while now," Harry reassured Eggsy before he drew back, settling down for sleep. Eggsy could just make out Harry's eyes in the dark, heavy lidded, but focused on him.

"Good." Eggsy hid a yawn. Try as he might, he failed to keep his eyes open. The boy had been more tired than he'd thought, and he drifted off with the memory of Harry's kiss on his mind and the feeling of Harry's solid warmth encircling him.

Morning came far too quickly. Eggsy groaned as the alarm went off and rolled over. Getting up was difficult enough when Harry wasn't there, because nothing stood between Eggsy and playing hooky but the knowledge of Harry's disappointment in him. Now that Harry was _there_ , Eggsy wanted to sleep in with him, but knew that Harry wouldn't allow it. He had to get in to work, just as Eggsy had to go to school.

Harry groaned and snuffled into his pillow, signalling that Eggsy wasn't the only one up. Just as Eggsy was lifting himself up on tired arms, knowing Harry would hit the alarm at any moment, Harry's arm caught him around the middle and pulled him back down. "Mmn, good morning," Harry mumbled into his ear, and though he sounded like he didn't want to be awake either, he also sounded pleased to wake up next to Eggsy. "Is it that time already?" Harry stretched, trying to get more comfortable and wake up at the same time. 

"Guess so. Do we really gotta get up, or can we... y'know. Take a vacation day?" Eggsy's thoughts were sluggish, causing him to slur his words. Moving had also been a mistake: Harry had been so enthusiastic the previous night that Eggsy felt very sore. It would be worse once he reached school and had to sit on the hard classroom chairs. "Don't they give you time off once you get done with a mission?"

Harry rolled his shoulders, trying to wake himself. "They give me twenty four hours before they can send me on _another_ mission, but that doesn't usually mean twenty four hours off." Harry gave a long sigh into his pillow before he lifted himself up on one arm and looked down at Eggsy, one corner of his mouth raised. "Time to get up. No skipping today, I'm afraid." 

Harry ignored Eggsy's protests and pulled himself out of bed, reaching for his robe on its hanger. "C'mon, up you go. I'll have breakfast ready after you've washed up. I can bet you haven't had pancakes in a while."

Eggsy moaned and made a show of how sore and reluctant he was. His protest of the unfairness of school extended to sliding bonelessly out of the bed and dropping into what he'd hoped was an appropriately pitiful puddle on the floor. This was the wrong move to make, however, as it only made Harry smile at his melodramatics while reinforcing the fact that sitting that day was going to be miserable indeed. "Pancakes'll make up for it a bit, but I can't believe they don't give you a day off after a mission. That's _brutal_."

Harry bent down and ruffled Eggsy's hair before stepping over him. "All a part of the job, I'm afraid. They're making up for it with a long weekend this week. Which I am certainly going to enjoy." Harry turned the lights on in the hall and called over his shoulder, "Better hurry or breakfast will be cold by the time you're ready." With that, he disappeared around the corner and all Eggsy heard was the creak of the staircase. 

Eggsy got to his feet and walked down the cold hallway to his room. He thought about Harry's work as he pulled on a fresh set of clothes. He'd never met whoever Harry's boss was, and he really hoped he'd never have to. Arthur didn't sound like a very pleasant sort of person.

A thought occurred to him all at once that shocked Eggsy enough that he would have dropped his jumper had he not been in the middle of pulling it over his head. Harry was smart enough that Eggsy didn't think he'd overlook something so important, but worry gnawed at the edges of his stomach. He finished dressing quickly and made it down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Harry calmly stirring pancake batter in a bowl. "Harry? Um... I know you've got guns and stuff in case someone figures out you're a spy and tries to find you here, but is there other security stuff? Like there is at the tailor shop and wherever that mansion is?"

Harry turned to him with a raised brow, one hand holding the whisk over the bowl. Eggsy could see that he was surprised, but Eggsy had just come running down the stairs with this question on the tip of his tongue. Harry was bound to think he might be asking for a reason. 

"Such as rooms that descend into an underground tube system?" Harry asked, "I'm afraid not. Just at the shop. Although it would make my commute infinitely more convenient, I would say." He was smiling, but his eyes still held Eggsy pinned, and Eggsy knew Harry would ask if he didn't explain himself. 

"No, I figured that, otherwise you might have disappeared on me sometimes before I knew about your job," Eggsy agreed. "I mean, more... like, the guards came and got me because I got off the tram and they saw me in a camera, right? And there were ones in the shop too, I guess. In case someone tried to break in. I, um..."

Eggsy's gaze turned downwards and he flushed. Their activities certainly hadn't been confined to the bedroom. "Does... does the h-house have security cameras or something like that? I... it doesn't, right? Otherwise we would have gotten in trouble from... f-from..." Eggsy turned redder as an even more horrifying thought occurred to him: that Landon might not have figured out that he had a relationship with Harry from guessing and Harry confiding in him, but because he was Harry's handler.

Harry blinked and his smile vanished. It took a moment for him to speak. "It... It does. But it's a secured, encrypted feed. And only a local one." Eggsy's eyes widened and Harry went on quickly. "No one has access to that feed but me. And...it's for security. Just in front of the doors, places like that. It's safe." Harry looked, for the first time Eggsy could remember, somewhat concerned about how he would react. But Harry had been trying not to lie to him these past months, too. He had told Eggsy as much when he related tales of his missions, and whenever he ran into a detail he couldn't talk about, he apologised and told Eggsy it was classified. 

Eggsy's relief was palpable. His shoulders sagged and he crossed the kitchen floor until he could bury his face against Harry's chest. "For a second I was worried... that maybe they existed, and if they did that you'd forgotten, and... s-someone else might have seen. Gotten us in trouble. I didn't even think about it until I remembered about how many cameras were in the shop and all that. I guess we would have known by now if that had been true, because something would have happened when we all got in trouble when I went down the lift, but..."

Harry set the whisk down and wrapped an arm around Eggsy. "No need to worry about that. Not even the organization can access my personal files. Which is incidentally part of their security policies, but....regardless, you can rest easy on that front." Harry smiled again when Eggsy looked up at him, but Eggsy could see he was still a little startled. "Go on, sit down. This is almost ready." Harry nodded to the table and Eggsy reluctantly let go so he could pour the mix into the frying pan. 

It didn't take long before Eggsy had a stack in front of him and Harry kissed his temple before Harry went upstairs to wash up as well. He was back down within minutes and dishing up a plate for himself, conversation seemingly forgotten. 

Eggsy's plate was nearly clean by the time Harry joined him. The sugar from the syrup was beginning to go to Eggsy's head, which was all for the best as far as Eggsy was concerned. He still didn't want to go to school, but having a rich breakfast offset his unhappiness just a little. So did Harry's honesty. Eggsy wasn't thrilled that there were cameras in the house, but like the guns, he accepted that it was for security reasons and so long as the feeds were safe and only seen by Harry, it was alright. No one was watching him and waiting to ruin his life.

Harry kept an eye on the clock as he ate and drank his coffee. He even asked Eggsy about school since he'd been away, whether he'd kept up with his homework and whether he had any big tests coming up. Of course Eggsy didn't want to talk about school, or even think about it this early in the morning, and Harry let it drop with fond amusement. 

He'd been nervous before, Eggsy thought. There had been an uneasiness in the air when Eggsy had caught him off guard, but by the time Harry cleared away their plates it was gone. 

Eggsy didn't know why. Harry wasn't uneasy during other times when he surprised him. He'd always raise his eyebrow, and his mouth would curve into a smile and he'd laugh, although never _at_ Eggsy. The minute he'd asked about security in the house, Harry had gone funny and wary, and when he'd asked about cameras he seemed to get worse. Harry couldn't have been worried that Eggsy was mad at him for not telling him about them, either, because he hadn't known whether cameras were in the house or not and _technically_ he'd only asked about weapons before, not other types of spy gear.

Eggsy turned quiet and thoughtful by the time he was pulling on his coat and stuffing his homework into his backpack. 

Whatever worry had touched Harry at the time didn't return as they bundled up and got into the car. Harry pulled up at the school with his usual look of longing, like he would have liked to kiss Eggsy goodbye for the day but had to refrain. He brushed his fingers against the back of Eggsy’s neck before Eggsy said his goodbyes, but Harry seemed untroubled overall, and he saw Eggsy off with a fond look and a wave before he pulled away from the school's drive and his sleek car disappeared down the street.


	29. Chapter 29

Eggsy wasn't nearly as untroubled. Class was difficult to pay attention to at the best of times, and the moment Eggsy sat down he ached so much that he nearly squirmed right out of his seat. Concentrating on the day's lessons was out of the question when half his focus was on his backside, and so Eggsy did his best to fake engagement with the materials while dwelling on the cause of his discomfort.

The more Eggsy thought about Harry's reactions that morning, the more anxious he became. Harry was _never_ nervous unless he had reason to be. Maybe he was worried about the fact that he hadn't told Eggsy about the cameras yet, but Eggsy didn't see why that would be the case. He was upset that he hadn't been told, of course, but not too much; having cameras as an extra security precaution near the front and garage doors made sense for Harry's profession.

The fact that Harry was nervous at all said something Eggsy couldn't put his finger on. He'd seen Harry lie before. He'd realised there had been times when Harry had lied to him even, and when he thought back to how Harry had done it, he could remember no trace of guilt or uncertainty. Harry should be able to lie without a second's thought if he wanted to. He was a professional. 

Eggsy wound up getting called on twice that day because he looked like he wasn't paying attention. Even Jamal couldn't get him to mess around for fun when the teacher wasn't looking, and poking Eggsy across the aisle with his eraser usually did the trick. Or at least got him to retaliate. 

By the end of the day Eggsy's worries had been forced to linger in the back of his mind to make room for homework and friends who wouldn't accept that his thoughts were somewhere else, but Eggsy knew even when he got back that he wouldn't get to ask Harry about it until he came home from work, likely a couple hours later.

The day dragged on forever, but at long last Eggsy managed the bus ride back home. Being able to walk was a relief after a day of sitting and pretending nothing was wrong, and the first thing on Eggsy's mind as he walked in the door was a bath to try to ease some of the ache that still lingered.

The second thought, which followed close behind, was of the cameras Harry had told him were there. Eggsy hadn't seen them despite how long he'd been living there and the other things he'd found hidden in the house. Once he was inside, the impulse to try to find them was overwhelming enough that the thought of a bath slipped away. Eggsy dropped his backpack by the sofa without bothering to strip off his shoes and coat and went right back outside, peering at the door and the surrounding frame.

As far as he could see, there was nothing out there except the CCTV camera way back on the street. Harry's house looked just like all the others in the little mew with telephone lines and not much more. It occurred to Eggsy that if he wanted to get a shot of the front door, the camera would have to be away from the house somewhere, but he couldn't see anything unusual on the walls and roofs of the other houses, or even on the telephone pole next to them. 

It was somewhat disappointing, but after a while more of looking in the cold, of walking back and forth down the drive, Eggsy had to give up. It was possible that they were hidden, or that Harry had meant they were only inside the house. Eggsy was sure that wouldn't be good if people broke in, but Harry might still want to have video of them to get their faces and see if they stole anything while he was away. 

Eggsy scrutinized the entryway for good measure once he returned indoors. As far as he could see, there were no cameras there either. Eggsy didn't know if that meant there really _were_ no cameras there, or if they were so well hidden that he couldn't see them. The thought that he didn't know where they were bothered him. Harry had told him where he'd hidden _guns_ in the house, after all, which were far more dangerous and concerning. If he asked about them, Eggsy felt sure that Harry would point them out.

Eggsy thought that he needed to be good at spotting hidden things if he was going to be a proper spy's boyfriend. That seemed reasonable to expect. He might get kidnapped, or Harry might get kidnapped, and he'd need to have the skills to fight back if he was dealing with enemy spies.

He took one last look getting right up against the wall and running his hands over it, trying to look under and around everything--the coat rack, the table where Harry always set his keys, the light fixture on the wall, and even the wooden panelling--but Eggsy found nothing. It left him somewhat disheartened. He knew Harry had to be really good at hiding things, but if Eggsy wanted to be even a fraction as good as he was someday..... 

Eventually he had to accept defeat. He hung up his coat and kicked off his shoes in the hall, and the longing for a hot bath seeped back into his body. He was as tired and he felt like his mind needed a rest, too. Turning lights on down the hall as he went, just in case Harry got home early, Eggsy climbed the stairs, stripping clothes along the way. 

Even bare skinned, the house still felt much warmer than outside had been. The bath would be warmer still and help to take the chill out of him and, hopefully, the muscle aches too. Harry was careful, but he was also more enthusiastic every time he came back from a trip. Eggsy didn't mind in the moment, but it made for a sore day afterwards.

Eggsy stifled a groan as he bent over to turn the faucets and get the tub filling. He consoled himself with the thought that if he told Harry how miserable his day had been, Harry might spoil him to make up for it. Ice cream, or dessert wine, or a massage - perhaps even all three, if he was lucky.  
The water rose fast and with a hand in it, Eggsy made sure it was just the right temperature--hot, but not too hot--before he pushed his pile of clothes aside and climbed in. The heated water was so heavenly, he sat back and sank down as quickly as his body would let him. It felt tingly all over, up his legs and arms, his skin getting used to the temperature. Eggsy shivered and decided this was a really good idea. He just wouldn't want to get out now. 

He turned off the faucet when the water was high enough and laid back again, seeing if he could let himself float. There was no need to close the shower curtain, or even the door for that matter, since it was just him at home and even if Harry came back....well, Harry would stop to enjoy the sight on his way past, and that wasn't such a bad thing.

Eggsy closed his eyes for a moment to savour the heat and the feeling of the water buoying him up. He could imagine the look on Harry's face when he got home and Eggsy told him he felt sore. Harry wouldn't exactly be sorry, but he'd fuss over and pamper Eggsy, letting him indulge in an extra portion of sweets and likely give him a massage. Pampering was Eggsy's goal, not contrition.

Eggsy wondered whether Harry would show him the cameras that evening, once he asked. Now that the topic had been raised, Eggsy was curious to know more about how Harry and the others he worked with used technology. Harry had given him amusing stories of infiltration and impersonation, but it had seemed like other spies tended to be the ones doing a lot of technological surveillance and equipment installation. Eggsy didn't think that Harry would be so trusting of security cameras installed in the house unless he installed them himself. Eggsy wondered whether Harry would teach him some of the basics.

His eyes opened and wandered, and Eggsy found himself trying to imagine where he'd hide cameras, if he was challenged to hide them in a room. Some would be really easy, like in a kitchen. There were plenty of spaces to hide things in most kitchens because there was so much clutter that one more object would be less likely to be noticed. Other places would be much more difficult - there didn't seem to be anywhere to hide in a toilet.

First Eggsy thought about somewhere high up like the fan in the ceiling. It certainly would be a good vantage point, he thought, to see the whole room through the slats of the vent, but he could see nothing hidden there inside it when he looked up. That made him wonder how small these cameras were. He was thinking about a normal sized camera at first, or even a small one that could fit in the palm of his hand, but Harry was a _spy_. He might have cameras the size of computer chips. 

When Eggsy looked around the room next, it was with a new light. He'd probably put one on the wall somewhere. In one of Harry's paintings, maybe, hidden in a hole and looking out the picture. Or under the decorative panelling, but Eggsy could see no interruptions in its smooth surface anywhere around the room. There was always the mirror over the sink, where someone would be likely to look if they were going about their usual business. He didn't see much sense in putting a camera any lower than that; it wouldn't get a good view, small as the room was besides. 

There was also the top of the window. Eggsy's attention lingered there when he thought about it. That would be a good place to hide something, so long as the shower curtain was open he figured since the window, tall and frosted with a decorative vase and a small potted plant, sat just next to it. 

Eggsy didn't know why Harry or any other spy would need to put devices into a toilet, but he figured there'd probably be _some_ reason. Like blackmail, or listening in on phone calls, since people tended to go to the loo for privacy. It would be easier to hack the phone, Eggsy would have thought, but a microphone hidden nearby would do in a pinch.

Taking another look at the window, Eggsy thought the vase and plant wouldn't be bad places to stick spy bugs either, so long as the person being spied on didn't do a lot of house work. Walls and pictures and window frames didn't get touched very much, but someone might notice spy gear if it was placed somewhere that was regularly dusted or needed watering.

Out of curiosity, he reached over and pushed back the plant's leaves. It was a little fern-like thing Eggsy didn't know the name of, but they moved easily and after a bit of poking around, he decided Harry hadn't put anything there. The vase was much the same. Eggsy turned it a bit and didn't see anything. It was big and heavy, but empty. Neither of them would have a good vantage point for anything but listening though. Unless he stuck a camera in the pot pointed upwards, all it would get was peoples' waists. 

Since he was being curious already, Eggsy climbed to his feet for one last inspection, loathe as he was to leave the water. If he were a spy, somewhere at the top of the windowsill would definitely be where he'd put a camera. 

He lifted one foot on the side of the tub and gripped the sill to hoist himself higher. Though the bottom where the vase and pot sat were level with him, the window itself was much taller. Eggsy had to raise himself up on its ledge and the side of the tub to get a better look up there where he found...nothing. He couldn't get very close, but he could see no holes in the surface of the painted wood and no crevices in which a camera could be hiding. 

If he were a spy, he'd probably have to make one by drilling a piece out, he thought as he lowered himself back down toward the tub. It was the last thought in his mind before his foot slipped out from under him on the smooth surface. 

The back of his head collided with the tile wall. Pain blossomed in the darkness behind his eyelids. Distantly, Eggsy heard a crash, and then water filled his nose and mouth. It took a second or two for instinct to kick in; Eggsy tried to inhale, only for his lungs and throat to close up against the water. Eggsy flailed and caught a grip on the side of the tub, leveraged himself back upright, and coughed for what seemed like forever.

At long last, Eggsy was able to take deep breaths without immediately retching again. He stared down at the wreckage on the floor. The plant and the vase both had been knocked off the ledge. Both had shattered. Eggsy's spirits sank, and he was contemplating whether he could clean everything up before Harry got home when something odd caught his eye.

It took a moment for Eggsy to register with the throbbing in his head, but among the fragments of the vase, what had once held an intricate black and silver design, was a small metal piece. It was easily discernible from the shards and the potted plant hadn't spread that far where it broke. 

Eggsy didn't think it could be.... But he reached out for it, leaning over the side of the tub with his nose still burning and his head still hazy, and plucked it off the floor. When he turned it over, a smooth, round lens stared back at him, not even as big as a coin. When he looked down at the fragments of the vase, he saw a clear indentation in one of the inside pieces, suggesting the little lens had rested within its ceramic wall.

It had been invisible when the vase was whole, seamlessly blended into the pattern on the outside. Eggsy had probably looked right at it and not recognized what it was. Stick-on cameras were one thing, but cameras custom-moulded into ceramics were something else entirely.

A deep, panicked chill settled into Eggsy as he stared at the lens and realized three things: that the camera was in a room where it had no reason to be, that Harry had either lied to him or didn't know about the fact that the toilet was bugged, and that he had no way of fixing the vase so Harry didn't notice.

He sat there, unable to move at the thought of Harry coming home to find this. It would be soon. Eggsy didn't expect he had much more than thirty minutes before Harry came through the front door, and he was panicking. 

Harry was going to think he was snooping again. Harry was going to think that Eggsy didn't trust his word, that he'd gone in search of the cameras while Harry wasn't home specifically because Harry wasn't home. He could get rid of it. He could put it all in a trash bag and take it outside, but Harry would notice the objects missing. Or maybe Eggsy could just tell him they broke and he swept it all up at once and pretend like he'd never even found the camera. His heart leapt at that thought, for it seemed like the only thing that might work, even though he didn't want to lie to Harry.

He didn't have much of an option. Eggsy wasn't ready to confront Harry about the fact that he'd lied to him again, and he could barely think from the panic filling his veins and clouding his thoughts. He climbed out of the bathtub, snatched a nearby towel off a rack, and numbly walked toward the closet where he knew a broom was kept.

Eggsy knew he'd have to toss the camera out with everything else. He could only hope he'd lie convincingly enough to Harry about not finding it, but Harry wasn't stupid. If Eggsy told him that he tossed everything out, it was likely that Harry would go through the trash to be sure.

The plastic broom from the hallway closet did a good enough job of efficiently sweeping up pottery shards and dirt from the floor. Eggsy didn't feel any calmer for the mess being gone; he turned the camera over in his fingers again and again, wondering why it had been there and why Harry had kept him in the dark again.

He'd found a plastic rubbish bag under the sink to dump it all in, but before he could toss the camera away, he had to be sure of what he was doing. It was an incredibly difficult thing to be, under the circumstances. 

Eggsy redressed and went down to the hall. He could put it in the bin in the kitchen, one that was just big enough to hold the bag, but Eggsy didn't like that idea. He had to try to toss it somewhere Harry would be less inclined to go digging for the camera because, he realised with another sinking feeling, it had surely been recording at the time he'd discovered it. With the thought that there might be others around the house, but this time in unknown places, Eggsy kept it in his pocket outside of the toilet, and hoped there had only been the one in that room. 

Standing in the hall with the bag in one hand and the other ghosting over the little bump in the pocket of his trousers, Eggsy thought hard for another way and remembered the rubbish bins at the end of the mew. Relief and uncertainty hit him in equal measures as he thought those would be a much better place to put the bag, and certainly wouldn't be unusual to do so since it was quite large. 

He'd have to go quickly to make it there and back before Harry got home. Taking the rubbish out wouldn't be unusual, but doing so right after he'd gotten out of the bath and going, still damp, out into the winter chill would raise questions. The questions might still be raised, but Eggsy didn't want to be caught in the middle of throwing things away.

Eggsy made it down the stairs and into his coat and shoes in record time. His breath turned to mist as soon as he stepped outside and he had to take care not to slip on any patches of ice while he hurried. All the way to the bins, one thought dominated his mind: it wouldn't matter if he lied successfully about not finding the camera. The one in his pocket was too small to have a memory card attached to it, and it hadn't looked like it was removable from the vase, which meant that it was sending its video feed somewhere wirelessly. However many other cameras were in the house would be doing the same. If he wanted to not get caught, he'd have to find where they were going and delete the files.

The most likely place to store and review videos would be Harry's computer.

He reached the bins and, with his heart pounding in his chest, plucked the little device from his pocket, took one last look at it, and threw it into the bag with the broken vase and plant. He shook it up just in case, opened one of the bins, and heaved it inside. Quickly he walked back to the house, dreading Harry might pull up right then and there and catch him. 

As soon as he was past the front door, he tore off his coat and shoes and raced upstairs. He knew the computer was locked. He knew there was nothing he could do to get in, but he went to Harry's office and stared at it anyway, not daring to turn it on and try lest Harry arrive in the middle of it. He turned to the toilet instead, trying and failing to find anything he could do about the footage. The floor, fortunately, looked clean enough. He wouldn't be able to tell dirt had spilled all over the tile from looking at it, but the two items were conspicuously missing from the window ledge and Eggsy wracked his brain for some way to hide it, but he could think of nothing besides keeping Harry out of the room. 

At that moment, Eggsy distantly heard the creak of a door and a muffled woof as Mr. Pickle arose from where he normally dozed the day away waiting for his master. Eggsy didn't have any time left to deliberate. He had to go pretend nothing was amiss, and he didn't know if he could manage with his heart pounding in his chest. All Eggsy could think about was that Harry was going to catch him - eventually he'd have to use the loo, or want to get ready for bed.

A thought occurred to him all at once. If he had to lie to Harry, better to lie in a way that was believable. He couldn't hide the fact that he was upset right now, so he'd be upset... about something else.

The boy ran down the stairs towards the door. Harry barely got a chance to get his name out before Eggsy wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and buried his face against Harry's shirt front. He could already feel tears welling at the corners of his eyes.

Harry had been half out of his coat but his arms dropped around Eggsy, forgetting it immediately. "Eggsy, what's wrong?" There was concern in Harry's voice. A touch of bewilderment, possibly. Eggsy felt a large hand on the back of his head, smoothing down his hair and encouraging him to look up. Mr. Pickle's toenails clacking against the floor moved excitedly around them, the dog heedless to Eggsy's display of emotion. But Harry ignored everything but him. He stood there and let Eggsy hug him, and he let Eggsy speak in his own time. 

"I..." Eggsy grasped for an excuse he could give for his distress and latched onto the first thing he could think of. "Some of the boys at school been pushin' me around a bit. That I'm bad luck, an' that's why I don't have a dad, and things are bad for my mum, and that she don't want me and... and you're not gonna want me neither. That something _bad_ is gonna happen to you 'cause of me."

Eggsy felt Harry's arms tighten. "What utter bullshit," Harry pronounced and for a split second Eggsy thought his lie had been caught out. "You tell these boys the next time they try bullying you they might at least come up with something believable. Also that you have my full permission to punch them square in the nose." Harry tilted Eggsy's head up and he couldn't avoid their gazes meeting. Harry's brown eyes somehow managed a warmth and a hardness all at once, and Eggsy could see that one was reserved for him and the other for the forces outside of Harry's reach. "You might also mention those Aikido lessons, if you're so inclined to give them some warning."

Eggsy tried to smile back at Harry, but it fell flat. Harry was still warm and supportive, but Eggsy felt like he was in free fall. He remembered just how Harry had looked when he'd asked about cameras, and with the finding in the toilet, the memory took on new significance. "Won't I get expelled, though? The teachers don't like fighting. Or threats of fighting, if you get caught doin' it." The boy swallowed, mindful of the fact that danger hadn't passed yet. He had to get Harry out of the house, away from the toilet. "Could we go out? For supper, I mean. I wanna do something different so I stop thinkin' about it."

Harry's brow gave a curious furrow but it only lasted a moment. "Yes, I suppose we could. I hadn't any specific plans for dinner yet. Was there somewhere you had in mind?" Harry let Eggsy out of his embrace long enough to put away his leather bag at its place beside the table by the door. He shrugged back into his coat, seeing as how they'd be going right back out again, and passed a hand over Eggsy's shoulder for comfort. "Let me feed Mr. Pickle and we'll be on our way. You can tell me all about this boy at school." Harry wiped his shoes free of slush and went into the pantry.

Dinner wouldn't completely prevent disaster, but it would buy Eggsy time to think and keep Harry away from the loo for a while. Eggsy couldn't help but worry more now. If he got caught, he'd be in twice as much trouble: once for snooping and finding the camera, and once for lying and trying to hide that fact. He'd faced enough cruel boys over the years that picked on him for being poor and fatherless that he could make up a story about a bully without much of a problem, but he still didn't have a solution for when they got home.

With minimal deciding, they ended up at an upscale Chinese place several street corners away. Harry drove even though it was close and a relatively warm night for mid-December, for the snow was coming down fast. It melted on the heat of their windscreen and was quickly washed away only for more to take its place. London seemed smaller with the snow coming down out of the night sky. The world seemed closer. But no matter how warm and comfortable the inside of Harry's car was by comparison, it couldn't put Eggsy's mind at ease. 

If Harry noticed Eggsy's distraction, he didn't say anything. Not when they stopped and Harry handed the keys to a valet nor when they rushed inside out of the cold, Harry's arm around his shoulders until they were through the door, nor when they were finally seated.

Eggsy's stomach was in knots. He knew that he had to focus, but he couldn't help but dwell upon the camera and Harry's lie, and what it meant.

Eggsy wasn't stupid. A camera in Harry's house meant that either someone else in Harry's spy group had put things in the house without Harry knowing, or Harry had put them there. If someone else had done it, they'd already be in trouble, so Harry had to be tied to the camera.

Harry didn't have guests besides Landon, and there was little point to recording himself in the loo, so the only person the camera could be meant for was Eggsy himself. Eggsy couldn't think that he was so untrustworthy that he had to be spied on in the toilet, and that vase had always been there, so it couldn't have been an addition after he'd snooped and found the spy headquarters.

Harry might have set it up there in the very beginning when Eggsy first moved into the house. It was possible he was nervous about Eggsy finding out about the spy business, and maybe Harry had trusted him less back then even though he hadn't shown it. Maybe Harry had forgotten it was even there. But that still didn't explain why he'd put it in the toilet, of all places. Not unless there was one in every other corner of the house. 

Harry ordered a glass of wine for himself and the non-alcoholic version for Eggsy. Once the waiter was gone, he tilted his head, peering at Eggsy as he folded his napkin over his lap. "These bullies at school still troubling your thoughts?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Eggsy hesitated. Splitting his attention between three ideas was tricky. He had to make what he told Harry convincing, and he had to figure out how to get into Harry's computer before he looked at the video footage, but the idea that the house was filled with cameras watching him was more than a little nerve-wracking and distracting. "School's been kinda tough, actually. Not the homework bit, but since I moved here and don't see friends as often, people think I've gone posh or that I think I'm too good for 'em now. And... I dunno, this one boy especially doesn't like me. I think he knows. That I'm, y'know."

Harry raised his brows, expression seemingly open. "You've never mentioned that before. Did he say something?" There was concern in the set of his brow. Harry knew just how much the thought of being gay weighed on Eggsy sometimes. Harry himself had never expressed such insecurities, but Eggsy had supposed it was something that came with experience and confidence in navigating the world. Most importantly, Harry did seem to believe this ruse, and even if Eggsy was distracted for most of the night now, he might be able to get away with it. Past that night, however, and Harry might figure out something more was up. 

"I didn't want to worry you or... I guess I just wanted to take care of it m'self. Still do. I don't like feelin' like other people always gotta take care of stuff for me." Eggsy shrugged and looked down at his water glass like it might hold the answers. In truth, he was worried Harry would spot the lie in his eyes. "Said I was weird for not pickin' on the girls, or playin' on any of the school teams. That I might be turnin' into another rich poofter, um... 'cause rich people are eccentric and all. I don't think anyone was takin' him seriously, so I wasn't really worried about it, 'cept I know my friends have been a bit distant lately? 'cause of everything that's been going on."

"But he got worse." The lies came surprisingly easy to Eggsy's tongue. He'd been worried about all of these things without realizing it: being outed, how he'd be treated, losing his friends, and overall what the situation with his family meant. "Started sayin' that I must be cursed or somethin', 'cause my dad died, and my mum drinks and don't care as much as she should, and everyone at school knows stuff didn't work out with my aunt. An' that I better look out, or something might happen to you, or you might decide you don't want me too."

"Eggsy," Harry grew very serious, "I will never decide I don't want you, and I will never leave you voluntarily. Things may be different when you're older, as all things change over time, but in some form or another, I will always be here when you need me. This boy knows absolutely nothing of what he's talking about." Harry frowned and Eggsy knew he must not have seemed much cheered. "Bad things happen all the time. I see more of that than most. You have seen more of that than many of your classmates, I suspect. But believe me, there is nothing wrong with you." The conviction in Harry's countenance was a natural draw, pulling Eggsy, in spite of all his fears, into the warmth of Harry's affection. 

"I just don't know. It seems so far off, but I worry about you all the time, or if you're gonna disappear like dad did. Or change your mind, if you find someone better... to adopt. I don't feel like I'm all that special. I don't really fit in _anywhere_ anymore." Eggsy's friends _had_ been growing more distant over time, and his mother's visits had decreased. Eggsy didn't think he'd fit in at an upper-class school if Harry moved him to one, either, and that was presuming Harry wanted to keep him if he found out that he lied and snooped around.

Presuming, too, that Eggsy would figure out what to make of the cameras. The boy couldn't tell Harry what he was thinking right then, and that made him feel even _worse_. He was alone, even though Harry was right there and trying to be supportive.

"Eggsy...." Harry reached across the table to take Eggsy's wrist in his hand. He'd never done that in public before. For a moment it seemed like too much, like someone might look at them and think.... But with the way Harry's confidence turned to concern, it didn't seem to matter. Harry looked down for a moment. "I know I've pulled you out of a life you were comfortable with. And I am sorry for that." Like Eggsy's turbulent life was Harry's fault. It would have seemed disingenuous but for Harry's sincerity. He looked like he was searching for something else to say. "Even if you don't fit in, you can make your own way. I've seen how bold you can be."

"Maybe I can, but maybe I don't _want_ to," Eggsy countered. "I didn't exactly fit in before, but there were other poor kids like me, so I wasn't totally alone. Now I'm the weird kid. Everyone knows I live in a real different neighbourhood now, and lots of people think I've got tons of pocket money and they get mad when I won't give 'em any. I don't know if it'd be any better in a different school. I'm gonna be the poor kid with one rich dad from now on."

Eggsy caught a look of surprise in Harry's face for a split second, but then it was gone and his expression fell. Like he'd been expecting this, someday. "There is not much I can do on that front. You _have_ moved into a very different home than you had before. You now have access to opportunities you've never had before, and that has separated you from your peers in a sense. And you are right, I do not think you would feel very comfortable around the boys I grew up with when I was one." Harry swallowed. "I have...thought about where you might like to attend secondary in a few years. I have a short list of schools in mind that have a tradition of students from varying backgrounds. And in a place where everyone is new, you might not feel so unusual."

"Maybe." Eggsy wasn't keen on the thought of leaving his friends behind, but he also wasn't sure just how much longer they would be friends. Instead of losing them by moving away, he'd lost them by virtue of how different his life was now, and the amount of secrecy he had to keep. Eggsy shifted in his seat, which brought another spasm of discomfort and reignited the memory of finding the camera. "Harry... do I talk funny?"

Harry raised a brow and drew back, taking a sip of his wine. Eggsy did sometimes switch topics mid-conversation, but it looked like Harry was puzzling over this one. "Are you referring to your dialect compared to mine?" He set the glass down but didn't lean forward again. This time he inspected Eggsy from a distance, leaning back in his seat and looking as relaxed as ever. Eggsy thought he wasn't though. There was no outward sign of it, but he thought Harry must be concerned with this conversation. 

"Yeah. I mean... if I gotta switch schools eventually, um." Eggsy didn't know how to say what he knew to be true: he didn't feel like he talked strangely, but he also knew that nobody else Harry knew and associated with talked like him. Policemen didn't talk like him. People on the telly didn't talk like him. Politicians didn't, either. "Even if there's a lot of different people, everybody who’s somebody doesn't say stuff like I do, or my friends do, or my mum does, except if they lived in the same area. Y'know?"

"Ah." That seemed to clear things up. "You'd be outed as a Londoner." Harry gave a half shrug of his shoulder. "You could always practice at changing your speech, if you wanted to. If you can put on a façade, you can get almost anywhere you'd like to, although you may not be happy there. But consider as well that if you befriend those who are themselves out of place, your speech will mean little to them." 

They were interrupted then by the waiter coming to take their order. It was only after a few minutes deliberating over their menus, as they hadn't been looking, that they were left alone again. 

"I guess I just don't... know if we're ok, or what's gonna happen to me. I know you're sayin' you aren't gonna ever not want me around. It's..." Eggsy fell silent as the waiter came back and dropped off their drinks and a plate of egg rolls, then left again. "I didn't know if you were still mad at me or not. About things. Even though you said you weren't. And then I got told that stuff at school, and started thinking about my mum. I picked livin' with you, but she didn't even stop drinking to try to get me back. I used to wonder, y'know, about whether she wished she didn't have me and have to take care of me. Because she was so sad all the time, and drank so much, and wanted to go out to clubs and things and she couldn't because she had to take care of me and spend money on me."

"So you fear losing me, too. And having no one you fit in with, no one to turn to if that happens." Harry frowned and cast his eyes on something innocuous on the table. "For what it's worth, I don't believe your mother ever truly wanted to lose you. She may have had moments where she considered being alone could have made her life easier, but on the whole? No, I don't believe so. Her drinking at this point is...probably an escape. I don't think she believes she can get you back." 

That was not comforting to hear. It would have been better had Michelle had more fight in her. If she could have somehow not fallen into the mess that became their lives with Dean and her neglect. It hadn't always been great, but it hadn't always been like it had in the end, either. 

"But what about your friends?" Harry asked. "If you saw them more often, do you really think they'd abandon you now that you live somewhere else? What about the people you'll meet in the future? You are not so very unlikeable that no one would want to be your friend." 

"My friends are mostly older'n me anyways," Eggsy pointed out. "They're all gonna go to different schools soon. One already has a girlfriend and has been spendin' more time with her. I don't think it's that they don't like me now that I live elsewhere. It's more that it's one more thing, between me bein' too young to go some of the places they do. I hope I can make more friends, but I dunno. I've always been friends with mine because we lived close by and liked some of the same stuff. I don't know any of the kids near us, or if they'd like me."

Harry nodded soberly. "You'll have to wait and see then. But don't let arses like those bullies get you down. If I have to, I'll make them disappear." With a perfectly straight face, Harry lifted his glass of wine to his lips. 

Eggsy never got to figure out whether he was joking because at that moment, their dinner arrived and broke up the conversation. Harry's demeanour lightened, and he tried to lighten Eggsy's as well, but he never could quite pull him out of his thoughts no matter how many new conversation starters Harry gave him. 

The question of how Eggsy was going to hide his discovery was still the foremost issue. Once he figured that out, then Eggsy had time to think about the rest. 

Eggsy had no idea how he was going to get into Harry's computer. Many people didn't have much security on their computers because they made their passwords something simple and easy to remember, which made them easy to guess. Eggsy didn't think Harry would be so careless. He wouldn't want enemies to be able to access anything he might have on his computer should one of them break into his home and take it. More than likely there were some fancy things installed, too. One of his friends had a CD that let him get around some of the admin locks at school, but Eggsy guessed that those wouldn't work in this instance even if he _did_ have the time to call his friend and get the CD from him.

The more Eggsy thought about it as they ate, the more hopeless it seemed. Harry was going to notice the missing vase and plant. Even if he didn't tonight, he might tomorrow, or the day after. Or Harry was going to take a look at the footage at some point. Either way, Harry was going to catch him, and it wouldn't be long. It sent a cold dread through Eggsy and it was all he could do to focus on his plate. 

If Eggsy had been a spy, too, he might have been able to do it. Somehow. Harry probably had a million gadgets that could guess at passwords or hack away at encrypted files. He'd told Eggsy about a lot of those things, but Eggsy had none. All he had was his own computer, and video camera, and some remote controlled cars. 

His video camera wasn't a small thing, either. Eggsy supposed he might be able to hide it somewhere in Harry's office and catch a video of Harry typing in the password, but he might never get a chance to use it. It might very well be that Harry checked his camera footage every night. It was the only thing that Eggsy could think of that even had a remote chance, though. Eggsy couldn't guess the password, and he had no idea how to hack a computer with or without fancy gizmos to help him. He couldn't ask Harry if he could use his computer, either, now that he had his own for surfing the internet and playing games.

Eggsy was going to have to bug Harry's office without him noticing, and pray that the older man didn't immediately check his video footage. The problem was that as soon as Harry noticed the missing items in the toilet, checking the video feeds was likely to be the first thing he'd do.

And everything hinged on the assumption that Harry's video footage was even being sent to his computer. Maybe it wasn't. For all Eggsy knew, there might be another place in the house full of spy equipment he didn't know about.

Eggsy knew Harry was looking at him in concern every now and again, but he couldn't act normal when the pit of his stomach was roiling with worry. Harry saw that he was eating, even if it was slowly, and that would have to be enough. 

If only there was some way he could explain the disappearance of the vase.... Eggsy despaired for an idea. It would be too unusual for him to say he was cleaning the loo and just moved things around. Eggsy never did things like that unless he'd made a mess himself. Besides, he'd be expected to put the items back in their proper place. He fumbled for another excuse. They were going to prepare the house for Christmas soon, now that Harry was back, and Eggsy thought about how they'd decorated everything last year before an idea struck him. If he could supposedly replace the missing items with some other decoration, Harry might not think anything of it. 

Eggsy even knew where the decorations were kept. Most long-term storage was in boxes down in the tiny garage. Decorating would also give Eggsy an excuse to go into Harry's office, _and_ a possible place to hide a camera of his own. Harry wouldn't be expecting him to be trying to spy on him and might not look at a familiar holiday decoration too closely.

Eggsy would have to be quick and careful. So much depended on pure luck, but it was the best chance Eggsy had. Once he deleted the evidence of his find, he could take the time to think about what it meant and what he was going to do next, because Harry would eventually notice the missing camera.

As they were leaving, heading out into the lobby to wait for the valet, Harry wrapped an arm around his shoulders. They were alone and it was as dark as ever outside, the snow still falling heavily and obscuring the lights of the shops around them. The streets wouldn't be very easy to get through on the way back, and tomorrow would probably be even worse. 

"You've been quiet," Harry said, probably thinking Eggsy was still sullen over his future and missing the life he'd once had. Whether it was a better life or not, Eggsy had been more certain of his world back then and that wasn't lost on Harry. "Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?"

"I dunno yet. Maybe." Eggsy knew what he wanted. He wanted certainty and real answers. Before his trust had been broken by Harry's lies about his work and the house, Eggsy would have just shown Harry what he'd found and asked him directly, confident that Harry would tell him the truth. Eggsy didn't think he'd get a real answer if he asked Harry now. He'd get something that sounded plausible until he thought too deeply about it, or found something else that revealed it to be partially or completely untrue. "I'll think about it. Maybe decoratin' the house a bit. We're getting close enough to Christmas now for it, and Christmas stuff always makes the house seem a little happier. Probably kinda late for it, but maybe we could make cookies sometime too?"

Harry nodded thoughtfully and Eggsy could see he liked the idea. "We can get a start on it if you're not too tired tonight. And I believe cookies could be just the thing to lighten our spirits. Might have to wait for tomorrow to set up a tree, but.... Yes, I think that's a lovely idea." Harry smiled down just as the valet pulled up and they had to rush through the snow again. 

Harry kept glancing at Eggsy on the way back. The air about him was somewhat improved, but it was obvious he was still attuned to Eggsy's mood. 

When they arrived home, Harry parked in the garage to keep the car out of the snow, and conveniently enough for Eggsy, he could pull out the boxes of decorations right away while they were down there. 

Eggsy grabbed one of them to take into the house. It would be too suspicious to run, so the boy kept his pace measured and steady. Harry went ahead of him to unlock the door to the house, and then they were in the kitchen. Eggsy kicked off his shoes on the rug beside the door and set his box on the countertop just long enough to shrug off his coat. "I'm gonna take these upstairs," he said, and before Harry could reply he grabbed his box and started for the stairway. His first stop was going to be the toilet. After that, he could grab his video camera from his room and figure out how to hide it in Harry's office.

Harry had to be wondering what he was up to. The first logical place to decorate would have been the living room, but Eggsy was just too worried. 

"Let me know if you need any help!" Harry called from below. But Eggsy heard him begin to move around the house after that, and his pace was unhurried. Harry would expect him back down soon, however. He'd probably want to join Eggsy in hanging the tinsel and setting bells and baubles around the house. But then Eggsy heard Mr. Pickle's clacking feet and Harry's low murmur to the dog, and by a stroke of luck heard Harry opening the door again to take Mr. Pickle outside.

The boy moved quickly after that. A quick dig through the box revealed two ceramic reindeer and a tree, which Eggsy placed on the empty ledge in the toilet. He ran into his bedroom with the rest of the box and dug through it atop his unused bed. One small false tree was big enough that it would be able to hold the weight of his video camera while also obscuring it. Eggsy dug it out, tied his camera into place, and prayed that he didn't run out of memory or battery life before it caught the password. Assuming, of course, that he could even make out what the keystrokes were.

Eggsy placed the tree carefully, hoping that Harry wouldn't look at it too closely. He put a small plush bird toy, decked out in a festive hat and scarf, beside Harry's monitor for good measure. That done, he turned to Harry's bedroom, placing a few more decorations around that room and, to even out the toilet, a few more on the countertop besides the sink. Once the box was empty he took it downstairs. Eggsy still felt like his stomach was full of stones.

He found Harry in the kitchen, taking out meat to thaw for tomorrow's dinner. "Finished already?" Harry asked over his shoulder. "If it's not too heavy, you can go back and get the other box. There should be some tinsel somewhere.... I don't think I threw it out last year." Harry closed the refrigerator and went to join Eggsy. He laughed when he looked around. "I think the downstairs could use some decorating too, you know. Come on." He got out the keys to the garage and led Eggsy down the stairs. 

Now that Eggsy had gotten started, Harry was apparently taken with the idea. 

"Yeah, I just... I kinda wanted some in the bedroom. It's nice to look at when you wake up or go to sleep. Feels a bit more like the holidays are right 'round the corner and I get a break from school soon." Eggsy followed eagerly. He really _did_ want to have the house more festive. He also wanted something to do so that he could stop worrying, and he needed Harry to buy into the idea of decorating so that he wouldn't spot his absent camera, and Eggsy's camera in his office. "Like those movies, too, where people have corners all done up with lights where they sneak away to relax or be with their boyfriends."

Harry shot a raised brow and a warm smile over his shoulder. "I can't think of the movies you're talking about, but that certainly does sound romantic. Will I get to wrap you up in my arms tonight under a curtain of fairy lights?" 

Back in the garage, Harry pulled out a few boxes to get to the other Christmas supplies, and indeed he did find the tinsel and another box filled with lights and more baubles. He handed the lighter of the two to Eggsy and they made their way back upstairs. 

It was still hard to tell whether Harry noticed Eggsy's nerves, but he did seem to be paying special care and attention to Eggsy as he directed them to the living room. He asked Eggsy where he thought the tinsel and lights should go, whether they should make it up like last year or try something different. Harry even asked him if he'd like lights over the bed so they could sleep with them on at night since he was certain Eggsy's first box hadn't contained any. 

"Yeah, just so long as you hang 'em. I don't think I can reach. I put some tinsel around the mirror in the bedroom too, but it got kinda crooked 'cause I'm too short." The house _did_ look more cheerful now that it was decked out. Eggsy couldn't get rid of his nervousness completely, but the warm cheer suffusing the house did help. There was an illusion of safety and normalcy, and illusions did have effects. Eggsy just couldn't shake the knowledge that it wasn't as solid and certain as it looked. Few things in his life had been certain, and if he couldn't trust Harry to tell him the truth about things, then he had no way of being certain at all beyond what he determined for himself.

When they were finished, Harry gathered him into his arms and pulled him down onto the couch. Eggsy went pliantly enough, but the way Harry did it, the care and the closeness in his touch, made Eggsy think that his mood had not been as unnoticed as he'd thought. Harry sat back and held Eggsy in his lap, admiring their work before he spoke. "I know things haven't been easy today. Or maybe they haven't been for some time now. But I'd like to do whatever I can to ease it for you." Harry rested his chin on Eggsy's small shoulder and looked at him out of the corner of his eye. 

"You're helpin'. I don't know how to fix stuff right away, though, but it was nice to go out for dinner." Eggsy glanced around the room at the soft, colourful lighting and tried to relax in Harry's arms. Harry was trying to be supportive. Eggsy didn't doubt that he loved him. The feel of his body was familiar, as was his scent and the deep timbre of his voice. Harry wanted to help, and Eggsy was consumed with guilt that he didn't feel safe enough to tell him what he was thinking and what had happened. "Maybe we can do something special this weekend. Or I'll ask you for more stuff to do, if Jake keeps pickin' on me. I'm just sad about everything. Like, it's probably not true I'm cursed or whatever, like they said, but sometimes it feels like it. Like nothin's gonna go right in the end."

Harry hummed against his shoulder and wrapped his arms tighter around Eggsy's middle. "Just remember the end is a very long time from now. And whatever has gone wrong in the past won't determine all that will come in the future."

How comforting Harry's words would be if Eggsy wasn't guessing at his betrayal. And it _was_ a guess at this point. Even though there were very few explanations Eggsy could find for the camera and the lie, there was still the slightest, _slightest_ possibility that Harry had not meant to lie. That he had somehow forgotten.... But Harry had lied before. And now Eggsy was stuck in a cycle of doubt and suspicion and guilt until he knew for certain. 

"And I would indeed like to do something this weekend. Maybe think of some ideas tomorrow and we can make it our own little getaway." Harry took a deep breath and sighed, a movement that Eggsy felt against his back, pressed so close that he might have taken the breath himself. "It's still early. Would you like to watch a film? I have some work to follow up on tonight, but it shouldn't take very long."

"Yeah, I'd like that. I dunno what we should watch, though. Something new I haven't seen before." Eggsy wanted Harry to log into his computer, but he thought it would be far too suspicious to go to bed early. Better to spend time with Harry and keep him from knowing that anything was amiss. "Could we really go somewhere? Even though I'm not off from school yet? Or do we gotta wait? Or do you mean like... goin' somewhere in London?"

"I was thinking somewhere in London, or at least nearby. Have you ever been skiing before?" Harry asked. They'd gone ice skating the year prior several times and it had been wonderful fun. Harry had been as comfortable on the ice as he was on foot. More, even, when he'd seamlessly switched from skating forwards to backwards and proceeded to skate in circles around Eggsy, helping him along until he got the hang of it, too. Eggsy had found his footing sure enough, but now that he looked back on it, he could see the way Harry moved was really something else. 

"No, I haven't. Some kids at school went on a trip once, but it was too expensive for mum to afford the ticket and rental and all that. Is it like skating? Or skateboarding?" Eggsy thought one type of sliding was much like another. Ice skating had been a bit different by the way he had to push off with his feet, but balancing hadn't been a problem. He'd spent so much time skateboarding that he was used to having to keep his balance and stay upright while he was moving along with little friction.

"You might prefer snowboarding. That is far more similar to skateboarding," Harry mused before he released Eggsy from his hold. "Go on, pick out a film and I'll make us some tea." 

Eggsy climbed off Harry's lap and Harry went to the kitchen, opening the cupboards and taking down mugs. For the first time ever, finding a film that wasn't too long was top priority. Eggsy didn't know how long his camera could record, but he doubted it could be much over two and a half hours. It was a nice camera, but he hadn't had time to check the battery either, and there was no time to go up and pause it since after only a minute, Harry was coming back with the tea. 

"I'm not seeing a movie I want to do, but... maybe we could start watching a show? Like, one episode a night or something." A programme like that was certain to be no more than an hour. Eggsy could spend time with Harry, then beg off another episode for being too tired, and go to bed while Harry went off to take care of whatever work he had to do. "Doctor Who or something? I don't know what kind of shows you like."

"I must admit I haven't seen an episode of Doctor Who since I was your age, but if you can find one on, go right ahead." Harry settled back on the couch and set the mugs on the coffee table. He held the remote out for Eggsy. Fortunately, Harry had a lot of channels and the classics were almost always playing. If not Doctor Who, they could surely find something else interesting enough to pass the hour. Harry sat back and spread out his long legs before Eggsy sat beside him. He took a sip of his tea and let Eggsy flip through the channels. 

As luck would have it, one of the channels was doing a rerun. Eggsy settled down and snuggled against Harry while the Doctor and his companion ran about on their latest adventure. Eggsy couldn't have said much about either of them or what was going on, having not really watched before; he'd heard about it from friends, but there hadn't been new episodes in years. Eggsy didn't even recognize the actors on the show. Truth be told, he paid more attention to Harry than to the show itself, pressing himself against the older man and trying to ease the misery filling him up.

Eggsy just wanted everything back to normal. He wanted to stop worrying and for things to be fine again.

It was amazing how such a small discovery could throw him into such a turbulent state. It could be nothing and yet.... 

Harry's arm laid around his shoulders, his hand massaging lightly against Eggsy's arm. Harry might not have even been aware of the action for how relaxed he felt. Eggsy could find no tension in the older man's body, just the steady rise and fall of his chest. Harry's attention was on the telly, but every now and again, Eggsy caught him glance down. His fingers never stopped their massage though, not to squeeze in reassurance nor stop altogether. Harry could probably tell Eggsy was still thinking about something, but he'd pried enough already. For one night, anyway.

Mugs were emptied, and the show ended in a little over an hour. Eggsy stretched and turned in Harry's arms. "I still feel all weird. Maybe I should go to bed. Sometimes when stuff used to be bad at home, I'd sleep and feel better so long as I couldn't... hear stuff outside the door. I don't have to worry about that kinda thing here though."

There was a clear kind of consideration in the look Harry cast down upon Eggsy, but Eggsy couldn't decipher what he was thinking. "You can go to bed early if you like," Harry said, measured but softly. He smoothed back a lock of Eggsy's hair that was getting too long. "Would you like me to join you?" Harry would likely put off his duties until the morning if Eggsy said yes. 

"You got work to do, you said," Eggsy reminded him. "When you're done, maybe. You can wake me up and we can see if the lights are like the movies. I don't want you to get in trouble for slackin' on my account though. I remember how many trips that guy who runs your group sent you on after I got into your headquarters. I don't want you gone on the weekends or Christmas because someone was mad you were late with things."

Harry gave Eggsy a sombre smile. "They won't punish me too harshly for a night's tardiness. But alright." He sighed and kissed Eggsy's forehead. "Go on up to bed, then. The lights should still be on. I'll join you soon." 

Harry's hands lingered as Eggsy obeyed, pulling himself up from the couch and stretching, but the man let him go. Harry sat back and watched Eggsy for a moment. It wasn't the penetrating gaze he'd set on Eggsy earlier that night. He looked like he was simply taking Eggsy in. Like he could imagine all the Eggsy's of their nights past standing where Eggsy stood now, and Harry could rewind all the way back to the days Eggsy had first arrived on a whim. It brought a look of quiet happiness to his features before Harry closed his eyes and rose from the couch himself. 

"D'you think we could try snowboarding this weekend? Or don't you know yet if they're gonna send you somewhere?" Eggsy lingered in the doorway. He had to go to bed in order for Harry to feel free to log into his computer, but there was still the heart stopping possibility that Harry would check the video feeds right away. Harry looked so calm and inviting that for a moment Eggsy doubted his doubts. He wanted to believe that everything was a mistake. He wanted to tell Harry what had happened and get a real answer.

But Eggsy couldn't do that and be certain. He remembered the previous lies, and the odd look from when he'd asked about cameras before.

"I should think not. They've promised me the weekend off." Harry came up to him and curled his fingers in Eggsy's hair before he slipped off to the kitchen, shutting off the kettle and turning off the lights. "I think this weekend would be the perfect opportunity."

Eggsy had no excuse to wait any longer once the lights were out, only that it was convenient to wait for Harry and that they went up together. Harry looked on the verge of tiredness himself, his eyes heavy and his gait unhurried as he followed Eggsy up the stairs. They parted ways with Harry's fingers on his shoulder as the man headed for his office and Eggsy for the loo to get ready for bed. Harry's passing touches were normal by now, but they stood out just then. He always seemed to be reaching for Eggsy wherever they were in a room, and it was impossible to tell whether Harry even thought about it. 

Eggsy shut the door while he relieved himself and brushed his teeth. He couldn't help but look at the space where the vase and plant were glaringly absent, replaced by holiday decor. When the boy glanced at his reflection in the mirror, he looked haunted. Whatever happened now, happened. Maybe things would go according to plan and he would be able to delete the video feeds. Maybe he'd even see how many cameras there were in the house and why; there had to be a pattern or something that would tell him why Harry had bothered to stick a camera in the loo.

But if things went awry, Eggsy knew the next few days would be miserable. Harry wouldn't yell at him or turn him out of the house, but the sad, disappointed look Eggsy could picture him wearing would be punishment enough.

When Eggsy couldn't stay any longer, he left the toilet and, in passing to the bedroom, glanced inside Harry's office. 

Harry was not at his computer. Eggsy couldn't even see whether it was on. But Harry stood at the side of his desk with a file of paper documents in one hand, his glasses on, and a snifter of brandy in the other. Eggsy couldn't stay to watch. Harry was taking his time and there was nothing Eggsy could do to hurry him along. Harry paid him no mind as he went into the bedroom, and from there, Eggsy could only wait and hope that time hadn't already run out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! While you're here, I'd like to invite you all to join a little party we're putting on, not for this fic specifically, but for all the darker-styled Kingsman works out there, and encourage party-goers to make their own. 
> 
> We're making a fest of it over at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about) and everyone is welcome!


	30. Chapter 30

Eggsy turned out the lights and crawled into bed. He couldn't fall asleep no matter how he tried, but he knew that if he got up and did something besides try to sleep, Harry would likely come in to comfort him. Under normal circumstances that would have been wonderful, but Eggsy didn't know whether Harry had used his computer yet or if distracting him would jeopardize Eggsy’s chances. He had to wait, glancing at the bedside clock now and then as the minutes slowly crawled by, listening for sounds from Harry's office down the hall.

He didn't hear anything for what must have been over fifteen minutes, until the sound of a door closing and the water running travelled down the hall. Harry was getting ready for bed. He was finished with work for the night, but now that Eggsy had seen him with that paper file he couldn't say whether Harry hadn't been thinking of that alone when he said he'd needed to finish up something for work. He might have just spend fifteen minutes reading over reports and never even touched the computer. 

By the time Harry finished up in the loo and stepped into the bedroom on silent feet, probably expecting Eggsy to be asleep, Eggsy was no closer to rest than he'd been when he'd laid down.   
Eggsy made a pretence of being asleep anyway, keeping still and taking deep, measured breathes until he heard a rustle of fabric and the mattress dipped behind him. A warm arm snaked around Eggsy's middle and he sighed and scooted backwards until he felt Harry pressed against his back. "...'arry? What time is it? You're done...?"

"Mm, yes. All done," Harry murmured against the back of his neck. "Were you pretending to be asleep for me?" Harry asked and it caused Eggsy's heart to leap. There was no accusation in his tone, however, and that was a good sign. Harry kissed the skin at his nape where the fine hairs began to grow thicker and hugged Eggsy close. Everything in his demeanour told Eggsy he thought the ploy was adorable rather than offensive. 

"You like wakin' me up, don't you?" Eggsy's arms wrapped around the much larger ones twined around him. For all his doubts, being held like this by Harry warmed him and made his heart ache. Harry was always so kind and loving, he _couldn't_ be doing anything really wrong. There had to be an explanation, just like the lies about his job and the spy equipment - nothing that Eggsy would be happy about, but something that had a good reason behind it.

With Harry's mouth pressed against the back of his neck, Eggsy could feel his smile. "You have me there. I do like waking you up," Harry confessed. 

With the strings of soft lights they'd set up in the bedroom only hours ago hanging above them in a low curtain, the ceiling above their bed really did look like the sort of thing a band of fairies might leave behind. Or elves. 

Harry tucked one arm under Eggsy and turned them so that he could look up better. "You were right," Harry said, "This does look like the perfect scenery for romance." 

Eggsy's mouth turned up at the corners. He felt a bit silly, given that every movie he'd seen such lights in had been the sort that his mother had liked to watch - full of sappy dialogue and girls sighing wistfully while looking at photos of their crushes. Evidently the girls were on to something; the soft, colourful lighting changed the angles of everything and turned the bed into a comfortable lit island in a sea of darkness. "'Course I am. I'm always right, ain't I?"

"I don't know if I'd go _that_ far," Harry poked Eggsy gently in the ribs and tossed him a smile. How Harry's eyes could twinkle in light like this. How _happy_ he looked. "But you do have some good ideas, I'll give you that." Then Harry leaned in to kiss the pout away from Eggsy's mouth. He lingered there and though the kiss was long, even heated, with one of Harry's hands carding through Eggsy's hair, there was no insistence behind it for more. It was funny how Eggsy could tell the difference now between Harry just enjoying him and Harry wanting to go further.

"What kind of good ideas?" Even now, Eggsy wanted to relax and enjoy Harry, too. He wanted Harry to praise him and whisper sweet things in his ear and hold him until he forgot all about the broken vase, and the camera, and yet another lie. Sadness was eating the boy up inside because even he could see that wasn't an option. He could ignore it for a while, but eventually it would come back to haunt him again - likely whenever it was that Harry finally noticed that the vase wasn't just packed away, but was missing.

"Oh.... Like letting me have my wicked way with you," Harry mused with a smile and Eggsy could tell he was trying to lighten the mood. "Like stocking the fridge with ice cream after dinner. Like introducing me to Spiderman. And let's not forget you singlehandedly broke into a top secret organization within days of suspecting it even existed." Harry's smile turned crooked and softened. He rubbed his thumb over Eggsy's cheek and looked like he could see just how uncertain Eggsy was inside. "You've lost so much already," Harry's voice turned quiet and serious. "I will do everything I can to make it up to you."

"I dunno how." Eggsy couldn't imagine what would make up for the losses in his life. It wouldn't change what had happened. His father couldn't be brought back, his mother wouldn't stop drinking except of her own volition, and the world was the way it was. Harry had shown that he wielded a great amount of power and influence under the right circumstances, but even he couldn't change society. "It's not like it's your fault, anyways. It's not your fault my dad died, y'know. Or that people are jerks, at school or elsewhere. Wishin' don't make things different, but you make it a lot nicer, even though you can't change things."

Harry didn't look happier. In fact, he frowned a little, but it was smoothed away a moment later. "Well, I'm glad to hear you think so." Harry sighed and moved his hand to Eggsy's back, folding him up again in Harry's embrace. "We should get some sleep. You might feel better in the morning. If only a little." 

Harry shifted to get comfortable. He looked so different than he did during the day with his head half buried into a pillow and the warm light falling on the side of his face. It made him look softer and not nearly so impeccably untouchable. It made him look younger. From the way Harry's eyes lingered, Eggsy could say he might have looked similar himself. 

Eggsy would never have believed Harry to be capable of being a spy had he not found out about his real work. It was difficult to even imagine Harry being a soldier in the distant past. The older man seemed too soft, too gentle, too warm and open where the veterans Eggsy had run into were often hard around the edges, cautious, and brusque. Harry never pretended like there was a chain of command between them either. Eggsy could imagine Harry to be very good at tricking people into telling him things and gathering information, but nothing like he saw in movies about spies. Landon seemed much more the type. Harry seemed like a gun would never belong in his hand.

But Harry _did_ own a gun. He _did_ get into fights on missions, because he came back with the injuries to prove it. Eggsy looked back at Harry and wondered whether that was one of many pieces of him that he didn't see.

Harry's eyes were heavier, but Eggsy knew the man wouldn't fall asleep until he did. Harry did that when Eggsy had had a bad day. Even if Harry was tired, he'd stay up to watch him. 

And that meant Eggsy wouldn't be able to check his own recording until after school the next day. He wouldn't have long enough in the morning, and Harry would be there. But Eggsy would be home before Harry was, and he'd have an hour or two to find out if his plan had worked or not. Until then, he was going to have to wait and hope. 

Going to sleep like that was difficult. For once, Eggsy didn't feel reassured by the arm Harry draped over him. Reassurance couldn't come from Harry until Eggsy knew more about what was going on and felt more secure. That wouldn't happen until Eggsy convinced himself that he was safer - that the evidence of his blunder was hidden enough to give him some time, and to plan for what he would do if Harry reacted badly.

There was danger in waiting. The camera might have been from someone else spying on them, but Eggsy didn't think so. Harry and he did quite a lot in the shower together. Had it been from someone else, something would already have happened.

All Eggsy could do was wait. His last thought before he drifted into sleep was how sad it was that he couldn't trust Harry enough to tell him the truth.

* * *

School the next day was impossible. Every passing hour couldn't come fast enough and each was a special kind of torture to wait through. Eggsy spent most of the day staring at the clock. By the time he finally caught the bus home, his stomach had been in knots for more than half his classes. 

He'd woken up with Harry already out of bed, making breakfast, and seemingly none the wiser to Eggsy's plot. He'd taken Eggsy to school with a kiss before they were out the door and a wave as they said goodbye. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for the gnawing feeling in the pit of Eggsy's stomach. 

When Eggsy arrived at the end of the mew to Harry's house, the street was quiet and all the lights were out, just as he'd hoped. Harry hadn't come home early. 

Eggsy hurried up the stairs and into Harry's office as soon as he was in the door. He couldn't think about how futile it was to pin his hopes on this. His recorder may not even have worked, or caught enough for Eggsy to use, and Harry might have other cameras in the house. Maybe ones that showed him entering the office or placing his recorder inside. If he couldn't get things to work and delete all the evidence, he'd have twice as much against him now: the accident in the loo, and now purposeful attempts at spying.

The boy couldn't bring himself to really feel guilty about it. Harry had kept secrets multiple times. Eggsy was only trying to find out the truth.

Clambering up onto the desk chair, Eggsy breathed a small sigh of relief when he reached into the tree decoration and felt his camera still there. It took a couple of seconds for him to unstick it, and then he had to go back down to the kitchen to look for batteries. The camera was out of power, but it had still _been_ there, which was a good sign.

He found more in a drawer and quickly exchanged them. With a press of the power button, the camera came to life again. Eggsy opened the viewscreen and the menu lit up while a red light on its side blinked at him, indicating that it was out of tape. 

With his heart in his throat, Eggsy rewound the footage he'd taken, unable to guess how much he'd gotten. He stopped it somewhere in the middle of the recording and pressed play, only to find a scene of the outdoors, the camera looking up a rock face to Harry above, hanging from its ledge with rope wrapped over his shoulder and looking down at him. Harry was smiling and saying something but the audio was off. It was from their time in France that summer, and with a clench of Eggsy’s chest, he knew he'd gone back too far. He fastforwarded it, trying to guess how much tape there was left and hope there had been enough. 

When he pressed play again, he found a scene of Harry's desk. The room was so dark it was almost impossible to tell except for the view of the upstairs hall through the open doorway. This must have been while they were watching the telly, Eggsy realised, and pressed fastforward again, this time watching as the footage sped up. It seemed to go on forever. There was barely any tape left. Eggsy thought it was going to run out at any moment, but then another light turned on in the hall and Eggsy hit play. 

A tall figure stepped through the office door and turned on the light. Harry looked different from this vantage point, high up on the shelf, but Eggsy could guess when this had been. A minute or two passed while Harry picked up some files from inside a drawer and poured himself a drink. He still hadn't touched the computer by the time Eggsy saw a smaller figure pass by the open door. He caught his own face glancing Harry's way, and then he disappeared again. 

Eggsy held his breath while Harry looked up. He'd noticed Eggsy's passing, too. Then he set down the papers and his glass, and drew back the chair. _Finally_ , Harry turned on the computer. 

Through some miracle, Eggsy had a good shot of the keyboard. Not great, as the camera angle obscured some of the keys behind Harry's hands, but passable. He could see the finger movements and the approximate placement of each.

It would take a few tries, but Eggsy thought he'd be able to mimic what was on the tape. He ran back upstairs, camera in hand, and situated himself on his knees in Harry's chair so he could get a better look at the keyboard. He rewound the recording a few more times, eyes flickering between the screen and his own fingers. When he thought he had his hands placed correctly and could remember the movements and order, Eggsy gave it a try.

The first two times he failed, until he realised that Harry had been holding down the shift key with the pinkie finger of his right hand for a portion of it. Eggsy looked at it again, counted out the keystrokes, and made sure he could see where the shift had been added. He tried it again, one eye on the monitor's entry box before he hit Enter. 

And then he was in. 

The screen cleared and loaded the desktop, which looked fairly normal, empty but for the start menu and a row of icons on its side. No alarms sounded and nothing looked out of the ordinary. 

Eggsy looked over the icons. Much of it was the standard stuff, so Eggsy began clicking just to see what folder lists would pop up. Some were technical looking folders that seemed to be part of the operating system, but others were created by Harry himself. A folder labelled "M" was filled with subfolders titled with dates and what looked to be names of places or people.

Eggsy's hand paused on the mouse, and then he clicked into one. He wasn't there to look at missions, but so long as he was quick, it wouldn't hurt. Eggsy was curious about what sorts of mission files Harry might keep on his own computer. He had figured that most of that would be kept at their headquarters, although he supposed it made sense for him to have some files at home if he was submitting reports and other things.

It looked like it was all organized by date rather than mission names, so Eggsy clicked on one of the folders near the top, one from July. Inside, he found hundreds of files, but they all looked carefully organized into other folders themselves. He found property records and articles from the news about arson, even a couple documents from a court with names he didn't recognize that had something to do with the properties, but he couldn't decipher what. It looked like there were emails there, too. A long list of them. Eggsy opened one, but it was too dry to make sense of. Someone was giving Harry the blueprints to a building and going on about the schedules of the neighbours, and whoever it was had signed it "M". 

Eggsy clicked on the folder labelled "Footage" last. That was what he was looking for, after all, although he guessed Harry's personal surveillance footage wouldn't be mixed in with his work. Half a dozen video files came up. The first Eggsy clicked on was little more than the wearer of the camera moving through a blackened building, going through the wreckage of a fire. Eggsy couldn't tell if he was looking for something or if he was just filming it because the camera never stopped except to inspect how the fire had spread. 

The next video Eggsy clicked on was very different. It opened in a dark room, what looked like a very expensively furnished room, but there was a man slumped in the corner of it and looking up to the person wearing the camera. 

Tinny audio came out of the computer's speakers, and Eggsy startled before he realized what it was: sound that went with the video. A click and slide of the mouse brought the volume level up. It didn't make a difference that it was louder; Eggsy couldn't make out what was being said. The man in the corner slurred something and twitched, reaching for whoever was recording only for his arm to shake, then drop. What caught Eggsy's eye was the mantelpiece off to the left. If he wasn't mistaken, he'd seen the exact same stonework in the previous video.

The man on the floor twitched again, this time in response to liquid hitting his skin. The camera briefly caught a flicker of a hand holding a container. Its contents spattered over the man's body and part of the floor, and the camera turned around the room. Whoever was carrying the camera repeated the action all over the floor and up the walls, then left, ignoring what sounded like weak and drunken shouting from the man who was being left behind.

Once in the hall, the hand--large but slim, long fingered--picked up another canister waiting for him there. He opened it and trailed the same liquid along beside him as he walked, pace steady and unhurried. Eggsy's breath began to slow with every step, until the man reached a stairwell and turned around. He took a moment to look down the hall, and the slumped man did not emerge. Then the camera looked down and Eggsy got a clear view of a tall body clad in dark clothes, reaching into a pocket in his trousers. 

Eggsy stopped breathing when the man brought up a lighter. He stared, transfixed, as flame jumped from its end, as it stood bright and yellow for a split second on camera and then the man bent and touched it to the ground. Flames poured of it, flames that raced down the hall and up the walls and veered into the room the camera had just left. 

Then the camera turned and began moving again, down a stairwell and away from danger, before the video ended. 

Eggsy felt a cold chill spread through him. He'd watched a murder. He hadn't seen the man die, but he knew that the figure on the floor had been in no shape to flee. He hadn't even been able to get up or do anything when the camera had been pointed at him. That meant he had died from fire - the same fire that had ravaged the place until it had turned into the pictures he'd first seen.

Harry had to have been investigating the crime. Why else would he have documented evidence, and records of court cases and people's schedules? Eggsy hadn't anticipated seeing such chilling footage but... he supposed he should have. He'd suspected before that Harry left out pieces of his stories, probably because he thought they'd worry Eggsy too much, and he wasn't wrong in thinking that. Eggsy had a new appreciation for the fact that Harry was stashing weapons and supplies around the house in case of emergencies. If Harry was going up against criminals that did this to other people, they'd have no problems doing it to the two of them.

The boy gulped down a few breathes of air and, once his dizziness passed, clicked into a different folder. This one had a name he didn't understand. If Eggsy had to guess, he would have said that it was a codename. The inside of the second folder was much like the first: word documents, photos, and recordings.

It was organized much the same way as the dated folders inside M were, but Eggsy could see they were two different projects. Some of the photos in this one contained really exotic scenery at first glance. It was a jungle somewhere, Eggsy thought, as he found aerial photos of an expanse of green below, densely packed and impossible to see through until he glimpsed clearings here and there where small forts had been erected. Some were a little closer, and he could see that there were men in faded military garb moving about the facilities. There were a lot of photos like that, and some of the documents talked about a conflict growing between factions of a country that had names he didn't recognise. One video gave him a view from a helicopter, looking out at the jungle below. It wasn't long though, and it was fairly stationary. Then there were others of warehouses hidden away like the forts had been. Photos of inside those warehouses, of stacks of weaponry and boxes of other items Eggsy couldn't guess at. 

One of the warehouse videos stood out from the others. Its naming convention was different. Where the others had the date and time, and what was possibly coordinates, this one had the additional description of "HITS - 32". 

Eggsy opened the file. The video player popped back up again and the screen opened with darkness. When more of the room became visible, Eggsy realised it might have been the inside of one of the warehouses he’d seen in the photos. Whoever was wearing the camera crept along something high up, like a catwalk, looking down and keeping to the shadows. Figures appeared down below now and again, badly illuminated by sparse and dim overhead lights. The camera compensated for the dim lighting by switching to a greenish tinge. Night vision.

One of the people below began to walk off in a direction away from any of the others, and the camera began to move more rapidly. It tailed the man, who had to be a guard or soldier from the look of his clothing and the gun he was carrying. Eggsy held his breath as the camera dropped down a level, and then another. Closer it edged, and closer yet... and then chaos ensued. 

Eggsy couldn't see everything that happened, and it happened too quickly: hands darted out, one covering the guard's mouth while another slid a knife across his throat. Eggsy saw a gush of blood squirt to one side, but the camera was already tilting down, following the trail of the gun that was unceremoniously yanked from the dying man's fingers. A rush of steps and the camera was up again, rounding a corner towards another guard a few feet away.

The camera was moving like it was attached to someone's head, looking wherever that person looked. Moreover, Eggsy had seen that kind of footage before - when he'd looked through the video footage in Harry's glasses. Eggsy's stomach dropped as he realized the footage from the arson murder was the same.

Whoever was wearing the camera raised the weapon, some kind of shortened rifle, and fired off a few quick shots that had the next soldier down in less than a second. The camera darted around another stack of crates while men shouted. Then it was moving again, coming up behind two of the soldiers and downing them at the same time. This happened over and over, darting between corners, encountering the men who'd spread out in search of the attacker, and taking them out one by one. It was systematic, almost like the man with the camera could predict where they were and when they would fire. Like he'd done this before. 

Eggsy couldn't have said how many of the soldiers had been killed before the man with the camera tossed the rifle aside and took out a pistol, one that Eggsy recognized immediately with its large, second barrel. The camera began sprinting through the warehouse and Eggsy saw the soldiers were going for the door, trying to escape. 

The video burst into light once they were outside. Long fingered hands latched onto one soldier's back as the cameraman launched himself through the door, right on their heels. A hail of gunfire rained down, catching that soldier like a shield before it stopped and the camera rolled for a moment. Then the fight drew close. The man carrying the camera had landed in the middle of the remaining soldiers, and Eggsy saw that double barrelled gun slide under the jaw of one man and fire before the world spun again and a finely suited elbow collided with the cheek of another. That gun fired all the while they were twisting and turning, almost dancing through the small band of soldiers. 

They fell one by one in quick succession. 

By the end of the video, bodies littered the ground and the camera view was marred by a few flecks of blood. The execution had been masterful and would have required no small amount of training and experience, but Eggsy couldn't appreciate it. He felt numb. His heart was pounding, and dampness coated his skin. When the video ended, Eggsy felt like he was in a terrible nightmare, one he'd wake up from any moment.

He'd recognized the gun, and those hands. The camera was even high enough to probably be the right height. This was footage from a mission where Harry hadn't been pretending to be someone else, applying clever subterfuge and gathered intelligence to a benevolent end and saving the day. He'd stalked and murdered the people in the video. Perhaps they were all bad guys, but Eggsy didn't know if bad guys all deserved to die like that. Particularly not in the way he saw in the first video. Getting shot or stabbed would be terrible, but being burned to death had to be much worse.

Nausea made Eggsy’s stomach clench, and he swallowed and clicked out of the folder. He didn't want to see any more mission footage, and Harry had to be keeping the house's video feeds somewhere else. He had to focus. Once he got rid of the evidence from the house cameras, _then_ he could think about everything he'd just seen and decide what to do about it.

After some time of searching without any luck, his mind half distracted by nerves, Eggsy found that the house surveillance footage was being controlled through a program, one of the ones in the top of Harry's often used list. As soon as Eggsy opened it, he had to sit back in his chair. 

It brought up an array of tiny video feeds that covered the screen. The entire screen. They were everywhere, all places he recognised in the house, and they were live. He took a breath, and then another, staring at them one by one. There were some in the kitchen, some in the living room and the halls, and every room Eggsy could see. There were others in the toilet, ones he had missed somehow. They were even in Harry's bedroom. 

This had been what he was looking for, but he hadn't expected there would be _so many_.

The program saved feeds into different folders depending on the room, making it easier to sort and navigate. Eggsy followed the file path in the program's options window. His throat felt dry. He'd just watched Harry kill people, and now here was more confirmation that Harry was lying and hiding parts of himself. He'd said there weren't many cameras, and that they were just near doors and such places for external security. These were _everywhere_ , far more than would be needed for home security.

Harry wouldn't bother putting so many cameras on himself. The only explanation was that the cameras were all there for _him_. Eggsy was being watched in every room in the house, at every moment, for reasons Eggsy couldn't even guess at. He hadn't thought he was so untrustworthy that Harry would start to watch him all the time.

He didn't have a better way of covering up what he'd done than to go through every folder and delete the contents of the night prior, but even Eggsy knew that would leave the footage conspicuously missing. His heart sank further and further with every file he sent to the recycle bin. He didn't know if he was getting them all. He didn't even know if it would matter, but he double checked just in case. He was already going through with this plan. 

It occurred to him that he had the opportunity here to see how far back this went. Maybe Harry deleted the old footage after a while, Eggsy thought, but when he sorted through the higher level folders, he saw they went back for months. Over a year, in fact. Eggsy clicked through one of the earliest and found, unexpectedly, files that had been separated from the others, ones marked with his name. Opening one from the living room, he saw Harry setting up a blanket over the couch, positioning chairs underneath it, and then Eggsy coming in with comics and sweets under his arms. It hit him that he remembered that night. Harry had made them a blanket fort and they'd read underneath it. It was one of Eggsy's first memories of Harry's house. 

The cameras had been set up before he'd even lived with Harry. Before Harry would even feel that their relationship was threatened by him finding things Harry didn't want him to see or know. Harry had wanted video footage of him from the beginning, and not for security reasons.

Eggsy supposed it was reasonable to want mementoes of friends and good times spent together, but the cameras were more than two friends taking a picture together. There were _so many_ , and they were a secret. Eggsy hadn't known that he was being filmed.

Harry would have had, and seen, footage of everything that he'd done in the house. He would have known about everything, including things at the beginning of their time together. He would have seen Eggsy's reactions to the books in his bookcase, and the actions that had followed his thoughts about it. Harry _had_ to have known about his crush before Eggsy had even said anything, because Eggsy would have only known to hide his feelings when he thought he wasn't being watched.

Eggsy shivered with cold that wasn't there. Harry hadn't acted like that at all. Eggsy would have never guessed he might have known that much in advance, and now Eggsy didn't know what it meant. Maybe.... Maybe it meant that Harry just had had a crush on him for longer than he'd thought. Maybe....this was all just....some kind of weird thing that was ingrained in Harry after so long being a spy. But even as Eggsy thought so, he didn't quite believe it. It seemed almost plausible, but.... 

He clicked back and took a look at the files from all the months again, his whole timeline at Harry's house, before he noticed one folder that didn't fit. It was at the very top of the list, and it was titled "Prior". When Eggsy clicked it, he found more dated videos, and a long list of audio files with dates and times that went back years. He clicked one, unable to comprehend what it might be, and found himself, climbing off his bed where a set of action figures lay, having been played with just minutes beforehand. Eggsy was stripping off his clothing, unhurried and unaware he was being recorded, and then going through his drawers for a pair of pyjamas. 

_His bedroom_. His bedroom back at the flat. Eggsy clicked into other ones and found more: audio recordings of him talking with his mother, himself climbing out of his bedroom window, himself playing by the outside stairwells. There was even a video of one of _those_ nights, when he'd gone into the box under his bed and begun to physically explore and discover his sexuality. Some of the files were from before they'd even met, which could only mean that Harry had picked him and watched from a distance.

Their first encounter hadn't been coincidence. Now that Eggsy had a moment to think about it, Mr. Pickle had always been a very obedient dog. Taking him off the leash wouldn't have normally resulted in the gleeful running that Eggsy remembered from that first day.

His head was spinning. He wasn't seeing the screen in front of him any longer. Frantically he clicked through the folders and only found more videos. He needed something more, an explanation, _anything_. Without guilt, he opened up Harry's email and scrolled back through the dates as tendrils of betrayal began growing inside his chest. 

Harry had either done this because of his work, for some reason, but Eggsy couldn't imagine a secret spy organization wanting anything to do with him, or Harry had done this for himself. The pieces of this puzzle were beginning to form a picture in Eggsy's mind, but he needed _more_. If there was the slightest chance it wasn't what it looked like....

And then he saw his name. Scrolling through Harry's email, a year ago, he saw his full, legal name. "Regarding Gary Unwin" from the County Court's Office, it read, and when Eggsy opened it, he realised he shouldn't have been surprised. It was a letter about the case of his custody. Harry would have gotten plenty of those. He closed it, but there were others.... There were conversation threads with again, someone named "M". 

Skimming those gave Eggsy more information than he had ever wanted to see. Parts of the notes were cryptic, but enough was straightforward that Eggsy knew what was being referenced: leverage over members of the justice system, falsified witness testimony and reports, a plant on the underground and strategic traffic delays to ensure Michelle had a disgraceful court entrance.  
Planted evidence and manipulated bank accounts. Eggsy's gaze started to waver as tears welled up. Dean hadn't been the reason his mother had gotten in legal and financial trouble. Her boyfriend had been bad news from the start, but he hadn't been the one to make Michelle lose her custody.

Harry had. He'd manipulated everything from behind the scenes. Michelle had never stood a chance. 

Eggsy couldn't see anymore. Tears flowed down his cheeks. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He couldn't look at this. He pushed himself away from the desk and intended to get up, but he couldn't. All he could think about was his mother, and _Harry_ , how nice he'd been back then. 

A sob escaped Eggsy's throat, and once one came, he couldn't stop the rest. His tears flowed freely and everything inside him left him stuck on those moments in court, seeing Michelle break down. Hearing her warn him about Harry, about something she couldn't articulate and had no proof of, but she'd _felt_ all the same. It left Eggsy doubled over, chest aching, in a chair still too big for him.   
He had to leave. Eggsy knew he wouldn't be able to hide this revelation from Harry. His distress was too new and deep, and he had no idea what Harry would do to him if he found out that Eggsy knew about everything. Eggsy had just watched him kill dozens of people, and Harry had no problems with doing whatever it took for him to get what he wanted, including ruining Michelle's life with tricks and lies.

The fact that what he wanted seemed to be Eggsy himself wasn't comforting. For a moment, Eggsy wondered if Harry would stoop to keeping him prisoner in the house, or someplace far away like the spy headquarters out in the countryside. The boy didn't want to find out. He didn't know if he could even manage to avoid being caught by a professional spy if he ran, but he couldn't bear to stay another moment.

Eggsy ran towards his bedroom and began shoving things into a bag. He didn't have much time before Harry came home and began to look for him. Eggsy's head spun just trying to think about where he might be able to go; Harry _knew_ his friends. He couldn't go back home, either, because Harry would look there right away. Eggsy didn't want his mother hurt any more than she already had been. He didn't want his friends hurt either.

He needed clothes, warm clothes. He wanted to take his games, but he didn't dare take anything electronic Harry had bought him as thoughts of hidden bugs and trackers flashed through his mind. He grabbed his old Game Boy instead and then moved into the hall. He was brought up short right away. 

As fast as his heart was beating and as close to the verge of panic as he was, he knew he'd need money. He had a bit of pocket change left over from the last time Harry had let him go visit his friends, but that wasn't enough to last very long. A soft glow emanated from the doorway of Harry's room, and Eggsy's eyes lingered there. With his heart in his chest, he made his way inside, trying his hardest to ignore the little fairy lights above the bed and the memories of lying under them with Harry the night before. How loved he'd felt.

Eggsy knew Harry kept cash on him because that's what he gave to Eggsy whenever he wanted to go somewhere by himself, but he didn't know if Harry always took it with him. The first logical place to look was Harry's night stand. 

He dug through the drawer and, luckily enough, a little roll was tucked away. Not nearly as much as Eggsy would have liked, enough for food and transportation for a few days, but better than nothing at all. Eggsy pocketed it. The spare watch was in there and Eggsy contemplated it for a moment before sliding the drawer closed again. He didn't really know how to use it, and it might have a tracker inside it as well. If he had to protect himself, he'd have to improvise, because going without was better than taking something with him that Harry could use to catch him.

The boy put on multiple layers and headed back down the stairs. He had a bit more room in his bag to stash some food from the kitchen, and then he'd have to go. Eggsy wanted to be quite a ways away from the house before Harry got back. He'd never had to sleep outside before, much less in winter, but he didn't have much choice. He'd have to figure it out.

He was pulling on his boots in the hall when he heard the soft patter of toenails and looked up to find Mr. Pickle coming to say hello. He must have been napping in the living room, as he often did during the day. His tongue was peeking out his mouth in a way Eggsy always thought of as his version of a smile, and Eggsy's heart burned to be leaving. Tears threatened at his eyes again as Mr. Pickle came up for a pat. 

There wasn't much time left, but Eggsy went into the pantry to make sure his bowl was full and find the dog a few extra treats. Mr. Pickle was happy enough to receive them, and Eggsy figured that was as much as he could do for a parting gift. He patted the dog on the head and whispered a quiet "Goodbye" before he went for his jacket and mittens again, bundling up as much as he could put on before he turned to the door. 

Leaving for what was going to be the last time felt strange. More so because he'd just gotten back from school. Eggsy felt like a whole day had passed in the span of an hour. The sun was dipping towards the horizon and soon enough the streets of London would be covered in shadows and streetlights. The temperatures would drop swiftly afterwards. Eggsy could barely think, but he knew he had to try to get far away, and that however he got there, it was going to be risky. CC-TV cameras were everywhere, and Eggsy would bet money that Harry or his coworkers had access to such things. There was nothing for it but to use public transit and try to move away from wherever he got off as quickly as possible.

Eggsy couldn't afford to cry. He knew it would draw attention he didn't want. Some adult that saw him alone and crying might call a policeman, and then he'd get stuck in a station and delivered right back to Harry once they found out who he was.

Eggsy steeled himself and closed the door behind him. He locked it just so Harry wouldn't think anything was wrong right away, but he knew that wouldn't give him much extra time. He took the few short steps down to the freshly ploughed snow of the mew and made his way to the street. He couldn't stop himself from turning around one last time to look back at Harry's house. With the sun glinting off the upstairs window and the early evening colours drenching it in orange and gold, it looked....like something Eggsy would remember for a long time. Tears threatened again and he had to turn around. He knew his eyes were already red from crying before. 

He took off down the street, passing pedestrians who might as well not have had a care in the world compared to how he felt. The denizens of Harry's neighbourhood had never been Eggsy's type of people, but now he felt completely alienated to their presence as they walked by with steaming cups of coffee, chatting about shopping and stocks and things. Eggsy quickened his step and made for Gloucester Road, the nearest tube station. 

Eggsy froze in front of the map once he got there. He knew from overhearing conversations before that St. Mungos had several homeless shelters throughout the city, but they posed the same problem he had with getting caught by policemen: the adults would decide he shouldn't be out by himself without a guardian, would trap him, and would contact Harry to pick him up. As far as he'd heard, youth shelters were supposed to be for people quite a few years older than him. He couldn't go to the courthouse either. Laws wouldn't protect him from Harry; the emails showed that very clearly.

He was going to have to sleep on the street until he could figure out what to do. That meant going somewhere where he didn't think he'd be noticed. One of the rougher neighbourhoods, where there were other homeless people he could blend in with, and lots of empty spaces and nooks where he could find someplace to sleep. South or east were going to be his best bets.

Eggsy chose east. He'd grown up with legends of the East End gangsters and in context, that thought was somewhat comforting. 

Eggsy boarded the tube and found himself a seat between a woman reading a book and a man looking off into space in the other direction. He tried to stay as quiet and unnoticeable as he could, but he couldn't help looking for the cameras mounted upon the ceiling. He spotted them right away, as they didn't make a point of being hidden, and all Eggsy could hope was that he'd have enough time. 

It took thirty minutes to get to a stop near the East End of the city, thirty minutes in which Eggsy sat thinking about Harry coming home and finding him gone, about Harry texting him to ask whether he was visiting friends. About Harry being worried. And finally, about Harry realising Eggsy had run away, and _why_.

Even as betrayed as Eggsy felt, those thoughts hurt and brought tears to his eyes all over again. He didn't know if he hated Harry or not. Harry had done all of this to him, and to his mother... maybe even destroyed the lives of other people. Eggsy had no idea if the man in the burnt house had done anything wrong. Harry had done a number of terrible things, and Eggsy still loved him. He loved him, and was angry with him, and he was terribly, terribly afraid of him.

When he got off at All Saints, Eggsy had no idea what to do except to find shelter. The map of the area showed several parks and all kinds of yards for the railroad or boats traversing the river. One of them would do. Perhaps if Eggsy hid in the right train carriage or boat, he could even get out of London entirely. He didn't really like the idea, but if it was the only way to keep himself from being found, he might have to leave.

As he set off down the street, he thought of other boys he'd heard of who were runaways. Not just from the telly or from old books, but from his friends. Other kids they actually knew. Eggsy knew they were all older boys, and he'd only sort of met one of them once, but if some kids managed to escape their families and get on somehow, then maybe he could, too. 

Harry's optimism about schools Eggsy could attend when the opportunity had suddenly been opened to him came rushing back, but it felt like an echo of a thought. One that was tantalizing, but Eggsy had never known if something like that would have really worked for him. But school was impossible to think about now. The gravity of losing that, too, was too much. Eggsy took deep breaths as he wove through the streets, heading towards the river. He had to think about one thing at a time. 

Eggsy walked and walked, scouting as he went. If someone thought it was odd to see a boy his age walking by himself, no one said anything or tried to stop him. Eggsy found that living near train tracks all of his life gave him some valuable experience; he was able to spot a carriage parked under an overhang and, between that and the overhang itself, was out of the wind. As far as he knew, there weren't any cameras watching the train yard. Harry would be able to track his progress on the tube, and perhaps a bit out on the street, but not to his current location.

Probably. Hopefully.

Shelter from the wind didn't solve the issue of the cold entirely. Eggsy wasn't uncomfortable yet, but it also wasn't night yet. He unslung his bag and opened it to dig around for some of the food he'd brought with. Granola and fruit snacks wasn't going to make for a filling dinner, and things were only going to get worse from there on out.

He'd have to go out and buy food when he needed more. But he risked being seen. It wouldn't be so bad if he entered visibility for a brief period and then disappeared again. He didn't think even Harry's agency could swoop in that fast on someone....but if he stayed in the area too long, they'd figure out how to narrow down their search. 

Eggsy began to despair over the future. He didn't know how to do this. He thought he'd had a rough life before with his mum. He thought he could be one of the kids nobody would mess with because they were tougher than everybody else, but he had no experience actually running away and he didn't know how to keep moving or what he'd do once his money ran out. 

Eggsy went to the end of the carriage and looked out. The sun was almost down now, and though it cast its last red and violet rays of light over the yard, none of it looked as inviting as Harry's house had. The train yard was filled with snow almost waist deep on Eggsy, and the tracks and roads that had been ploughed away stuck out with mounds of dirt and grey ice. It looked more like a wasteland.   
It matched the desolate feelings inside Eggsy, and the cold that had nothing to do with the temperature. He didn't know London all that well. Surviving on the street hadn't been something he'd ever had to think about, because when he left his mother's place it was only for short periods of time. Perhaps if he needed to, he could go back to his mother...

...except the cameras would probably still be there. For all Eggsy knew, Harry could be monitoring Michelle, trying to ensure that she'd never get in a position good enough to try to sue for custody again. Chances were that if, or when, Harry reported him missing, police would regularly stop by the old flat just in case Eggsy decided to show up there. He'd be expected to go to familiar places.

His best chance would be to talk to his old friends and get help finding the older kids who lived on the street. One of them might be able to help him figure out what to do.

Eggsy moved farther back into the car. He didn't want to look outside anymore. He looked at his snacks and thought about who he could contact. Not someone who'd lived at the estates with him. Even though most of his close friends were there, it would be too risky. He had to think of somebody Harry might not think of, but somebody who'd still do Eggsy a favour if he needed it. 

There had been a new kid with the group, Jamal, who'd lived a couple streets over from Rowley Way. Even though Eggsy wasn't around all the time anymore, they'd been friendly right away. Probably because most of the others were still at the Hall. Jamal had said he'd moved there with his mum and his brother from the East Side, if Eggsy remembered correctly, and he was one of those people who got to know everybody real quick. One of those people who might be able to ask around for Eggsy.

It was as good a plan as any. Eggsy had few options. He wasn't likely to run into the right people to talk to on the street at random. He needed connections. Maybe Jamal wouldn't know the right people, but the people he _did_ know might know. Eggsy could follow on down the chain until he was connected to people who could help him. There had to be other kids like him - with bad or dangerous families, without money, kids who needed to disappear.

Eggsy laid down and used his bag for a pillow. Everything around him was cold, hard, and getting dark. It was the exact opposite of the previous night.

But for now, he wasn't sleeping with a murderer who'd spied, stalked, and ruined people just to have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....we're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry! 
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who's still reading and commenting. I know I've fallen far behind on responding to the comments (Piper here) but we're reading every one and appreciate them so much. 
> 
> Also, the Dark Kingsman Block Party will be having its first chat and posting day tomorrow (Sat Feb 6th)! [If you want to come check that out and chat with all of us, you can read all about it here.](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	31. Chapter 31

Snow was falling again by the time Harry arrived home. He was wiping off his shoes behind the front door when he noticed how silent the house was, except for Mr. Pickle, who rounded the corner of the hall and greeted him with tail wagging. 

Harry took off his scarf and mittens and hung his jacket on the rack before he went to see if Eggsy was reading on the couch. There was almost no chance that he'd started his homework early, but when Harry didn't find him there, he didn't think anything of it right away. The lights were on. Eggsy had been home. So Harry went to the kitchen and poured himself a tumbler of whiskey from the cupboard and relaxed against the counter. It was a few minutes before he realised he was listening for the sound of the toilet upstairs, and still he'd heard nothing. 

Eggsy hadn't really been himself that morning. He'd been very awake, but tired, and it was obvious thoughts from the night prior still lingered on his mind. 

Harry pushed himself off the counter and sighed, heading for the stairs. Eggsy might have gone back to bed if he was tired enough, but Harry didn't find him in their bedroom either. Nor in Eggsy's. 

What he did find were drawers all askew, and a mess of clothes on Eggsy's floor. He'd seen similar before, when Eggsy was looking for a particular favourite shirt and in a rush, but it was out of place when Eggsy was home and didn't have any plans for later that evening. The boy had made sudden plans before with friends from school, but that seemed unlikely given the difficulties he'd talked about the previous day. That, and the fact that Harry had received no texts. Eggsy always checked in with Harry to tell him where he was going so that Harry knew what to do for dinner and when to expect Eggsy back.

The house was silent. Too silent. Harry moved quicker now, glancing from room to room. Eggsy was nowhere to be found upstairs, and when he descended to the ground floor, Harry spotted Eggsy's laptop sitting out on the coffee table.

Harry took out his phone and dialled Eggsy. He pressed it to his ear and waited, but the ringing he heard wasn't coming through the receiver, it was coming from the couch. Harry ended the call and stalked forward and, sure enough, found Eggsy's phone lying between the cushions. 

Harry spun on his heel and dashed upstairs. Something had happened. He didn't see signs of a fight, but there were signs someone, _Eggsy_ , had been through his things and left in a hurry. He shoved away the chair at his desk and powered on his computer only to realise the computer had been on already.

Harry's hands froze over the keyboard. Dread filled his stomach. He forced himself to type out his password and what he saw when the screen unlocked made him reach for the chair again. 

His files had been opened--the surveillance, his missions, his email, even Merlin's projects. All of it. Harry stared at his computer, mouth open. He looked to the surveillance footage. The night prior had been deleted, but the most recent hadn't. There was Eggsy moving through the house, opening all his drawers and shoving clothes in his backpack, feeding Mr. Pickle, bundling up, and then all but running out the door. 

Harry fell back in his chair, head spinning, but it was only then that something on the floor caught his eye. Eggsy's handheld video camera. The one Harry had bought him over the summer for their trips. In a daze, he picked it up and opened the viewscreen. When he pressed play, Harry saw himself from above, sitting at his computer, view positioned with the keyboard in sight. He rewound and, there it was, Harry sipping his drink, Eggsy passing, Harry sitting down and logging in....and that was it. 

He knew what happened. 

" _Shit._ " Harry stood and threw the camcorder into the wall. " _Shit, shit shit shit...._ " He caught himself before he turned over the chair and instead ran a hand through his hair. He breathed into his hands. He had to calm down. Eggsy had gone, hours ago, but there was still time. Harry dug out his phone and punched in one number, hissing under his breath, "Pick up, pick up, pick up...."

Merlin answered on the third ring. "Harry? I wasn't expecting a call from you so soon. Our next chat isn't for a few days yet. Unless something's happened to change the schedule?"

Merlin paused on the other end of the line. Harry's voice had briefly caught in his throat, and as a result all Merlin could hear was ragged breathing. Merlin's tone immediately shifted to one of concern. "Harry? Something's happened, hasn't it? Tell me."

"Eggsy's gone." Harry clutched the phone harder in his hand to get the words out. "He found everything." Harry wanted to move, he wanted to rush out onto the street and the only thing preventing him from doing so was that it would take too long to track the boy on his own. Staying this still was agony. 

He heard Merlin's silence on the other end. 

"He got into the computer. Something tipped him off. I don't know what, but he deleted surveillance footage from last night and he broke into my computer this afternoon, and.... Fuck," Harry sighed. "He found everything." He swallowed and took another breath. "He'd only been gone a few hours. I need you to help me track him. And I need you to take a look at your copy of last night's footage."

"Give me a moment to bring it up. The additional cameras outside your house might prove useful for something, after all." Arthur no longer glanced at the reports Merlin submitted, or asked to see any of the surveillance footage. He hadn't retracted the order to have it in place, however, which meant that Merlin would have recordings of all the comings and goings in the area, including Eggsy's. The sound of keyboard taps and mouse clicks filtered through the phone. 

Harry bit back the impulse to tell Merlin to hurry. Venting his emotions at the other man wouldn't do any good. Merlin already knew what this would mean to him, and for him.

"Outside cameras have him leaving just over an hour before you arrived home. He headed north on Gloucester, my guess would be towards the station. We have access to all the relevant cameras needed to track him. I should be able to do so fairly quickly." Merlin paused to key through files. "My copies of your house feeds are fairly routine except for one thing. It looks like Eggsy had an accident in the toilet, destroying your vase and finding one of the cameras in the process."

Harry put his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. "I told him there were cameras in the house. _Admitted_ , more like. ...but he wouldn't have been expecting them in the toilet." Harry's voice came out quiet. The picture of what had led up to this moment was quickly falling into place. Eggsy had known he'd lied, even if it was a partial lie. Harry screwed his eyes shut. "Gloucester Station. He could have taken three lines from there." Harry glanced out the tall window of his office. He could see the dimly lit street outside and the occasional passing car. It was dark already. "He'll hide somewhere," Harry said. "If he hasn't tried to go to his mother's, or his friends'. He knows how well we can track him."

"If you told him there were cameras in the house, and he found them elsewhere, you will have lost his trust. He's been lied to far too many times for him to have taken another easy explanation, and so he would have resigned himself to hiding what had happened and trying to obtain his own answers. Just as he did when he infiltrated headquarters." The silence on the line was heavy with consideration. They both knew that Eggsy would be more than sceptical of anything Harry tried to tell him now. "How much of everything does 'everything' constitute? I can work through camera feeds around the city and find him in relatively short order, but I have no guidance from there. He'll expect anything you tell him to be a lie at this point."

Harry bent over the computer again and brought up his system history through another security program. "He'd been through my email.... Our conversations, regarding his mother and the court case. He's been through...various dates of the house surveillance...and before that. His old house, with his mother. The mission footage from Columbia. And...," Harry sighed, "some of the footage of our little arsonist project." Harry straightened again and rubbed his temple as one thing became very clear to him. "Merlin.... He's seen me kill." In cold blood. Eggsy knew what Harry had done to his mother, and he'd seen in very clear detail in that footage that Harry was capable of far more.

"Should I be asking how, exactly, you were careless enough to let an inexperienced child access extremely confidential personal files?" Merlin sighed. "Nevermind. He's accessed the files, the damage is done now. More than merely feeling betrayed, he's likely afraid of you and whether his knowledge means that you'll kill him. Or threaten to kill or hurt his mother or someone else to exert control. I doubt even he has so much confidence that he believes he can avoid detection on his own, and he would be right in that assumption. I should be able to find him without too much trouble, once I've narrowed down the general area."

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew not to ask how long it would take. He and Merlin had done this enough times that he knew the general window of opportunity they had until Eggsy got lucky and was able to escape heavily monitored areas. Harry would explain how he'd gotten in later. He eyed the broken video camera on the floor. And the newly made crack in the wall's plaster, right between the newspaper headlines "THE END IS NIGH" and "CHARLES DESTINED TO LOSE THE THRONE?". Harry looked away in frustration.

"I'd rather not let those ideas sink in," Harry murmured, knowing Merlin was working, but he needed to say it. Merlin wasn't easily distracted. 

"You'd best think about how to counteract them. I'm not going to be of any help on that front. Child psychology and explaining away trauma are not my specialties." The background was a flurry of clicks. Merlin was in his element, sorting through vast amounts of data and footage at a rapid pace and sorting out what was valuable. A child was more difficult to spot due to differences in height, but not impossible. "He was still on the tube past the Limehouse stop. He's likely to be in East London."

Harry stood straight, thinking. "East London.... He doesn't know anyone in East London. Have you still got him?" Harry went through a catalogue of Eggsy's friends in his mind and he could think of none. Certainly some may have ties he was unaware of to the area, ties which he'd be able to look into given a little more time, but right now he needed something faster. They had a general location though, and presuming Eggsy wasn't taking a path that circled back to throw them off--which wouldn't work anyway, then Harry had a start. 

He dashed for his coat. 

"I have him getting off at All Saints. He's more difficult to track from there. CCTV coverage isn't complete, and the angles make it difficult to see someone of his stature. I can work on combing through the footage I do have access to and getting access to additional private feeds, but it will take time." Eggsy would be unlikely to hop back on the tube after walking for a while. He would be smart enough to know that Harry, or the people he worked with, would have access to cameras like those found on public transport.

Harry had a feeling his first instinct had been right. Eggsy was hiding. 

"Where's the last location you have him, and how long ago?" Harry asked, pulling on his coat with one hand and switching the mobile to the other. Briefly, he debated on disarming himself, in case Eggsy demanded he do so when he found the boy. He didn't want Eggsy to be afraid of him, but Harry didn't like the thought of leaving his weapon behind while running through the back alleys of London at night. With that, he left the house and got into his car, sights set on the East End. 

"Heading south from All Saints, close to an hour ago. I can't find adequate feeds to determine where he went after he reached Poplar High Street. He could very well have kept going until he reached the docks and stowed away, hoping to be taken somewhere else. I'll keep working on it, but he won't have gone terribly far. Hopefully. Not on foot, but the problem with that particular area is that there are a number of transportation options, from getting back on the tubes, taking a bus, hopping on a boat or railcar or, if he's feeling adventurous enough, trying to stow away on a plane, although the airport is a bit of a walk."

Harry cursed under his breath as he drove. It would take him at least thirty minutes to get there, twenty if he cut corners, and Eggsy had already had plenty of time to look for a place to hide. If the boy was very lucky, he could become a stowaway without even having to move back into the CCTV network. 

"I'm going to switch to the glasses. Let me know if you find anything. Otherwise, I'll contact you when I get to Poplar High Street." Harry listened for Merlin's confirmation and hung up. His heart was thrumming fast, beating in the way it did only on missions that had gone up shit creek. Harry forced himself to breathe slow and steady as he drove on as fast as the roads would allow him. 

By the time he reached Eggsy's last location, Harry knew he'd have to take the rest on foot. The sinking feeling in his gut as he looked south towards the water and all the store fronts and shipping yards was not a good sign. It had been too long already. There were too many places here for Eggsy to hide. Harry knew the better plan was to anticipate where Eggsy would be. Or even better, to draw the boy to him. But he had to try, and so he set off across the streets, heading towards the docks. 

Passersby looked askance at him. Harry was very much out of place for the location, dressed like he was going to court or a business meeting. The locals had no great love for the aristocracy or of government officials, having felt the weight of stigma for years. A few people eyed Harry up, but most steered clear of him, assuming that anyone wandering Tower Hamlets at night in a bespoke suit could mean nothing but trouble.

Harry ignored them until he could slip away from the walkways, and then he was on alert. Moving through the shipping yards, he did not want to be seen. Not only would he look even more out of place, but he didn't want to invite trouble or possibly tip Eggsy off if the boy had found a place to hide nearby. 

Harry moved from one container to another down by the riverside, looking for smaller and fresher tracks through the snow as he went. There were a lot of tracks though, even though the snow had built up so high the night prior. Labour didn't stop for a snowstorm in this line of work. 

As expected, most of the containers were locked. Most of the palettes with boxes were wrapped in tarps and tied down. Harry went from one to the next and the next after, but there were shipping yards all along the river front, and this would take hours.

Assuming Eggsy was even at the docks. Assuming he hadn't gone elsewhere. Eggsy was sneaky and resourceful. It wouldn't be impossible even for him to have snuck into a lorrie going somewhere else, knowing that Harry would track him to this part of London and waste time looking for him. That was a possibility, but looking here was the only thing Harry _could_ do. The CCTV feeds were his only lead.

Merlin's voice filtered through his ear. "Your GPS places you at the docks. He never got as far as that. Last I'm seeing, he entered one of the trainyards closest to his station exit point. Not exactly a small area to search, but smaller than searching all the docks as well."

" _Thank you_." Harry oriented himself to the station and took off in search of the train yard. 

It was another long walk through drifts of snow that hadn't been ploughed well, and Harry wasn't keeping to the paths. If he did find Eggsy and had to chase the boy through this terrain, it wouldn't be a very quick pursuit for either of them. If Eggsy was hiding, he'd likely hear Harry coming. There was no avoiding it. The snow wasn't exactly crunchy, but it was thick and muffled the sounds of the city behind him. It created a strange quality to his surroundings, as though the docks and the yard he could see in the distance were separated from the rest of London. Like Eggsy had found a rabbit hole to burrow into and hide. 

Harry did come upon a yard full of railway carriages that was separated only by a chain link fence. It was nearly a straight shot down from the station and, if Eggsy hadn't left, this was likely where he would stay. Merlin had been right, however; it was vast. 

Harry gritted his teeth as he walked. Every footstep was tense, trying to stay as quiet as possibly while preparing to run at the slightest movement. If He found Eggsy, the boy would likely flee. Harry wouldn't be able to get a word in until he caught him.

Eggsy, huddled inside his carriage not so very far away, heard Harry well before the man came close. 

When Eggsy glanced through the cracked doorway, he saw a flicker of movement outside. The figure stalking the train yard wasn’t just a man—it was the man Eggsy feared most. His throat closed up in terror and he rolled over to one side. The carriage he was in wasn't completely empty, still retaining a few worthless broken pallets of scrap wood left over from the last hauling job. Eggsy moved slowly and quietly to flatten himself on the ground behind them. 

Harry didn't speak as he moved, picking his way through the first carriages he came upon. He knew all too well how it would sound, calling Eggsy's name, trying to get him to come out, even if Eggsy could hear him. Harry swallowed back a pain in his chest and wrenched the door of an old carriage open. Empty. He didn't bother to shut it before moving on. If Eggsy was here and the railway workers found the yard broken into the next day, he'd have a difficult time staying. 

Harry looked for tracks in the snow, but it was difficult with the paths the workers had already made. His ears were keen to the soft whistle of the wind, but nothing else but his footfalls broke the silence. 

Carriage after carriage, he looked through, working his way towards the water knowing that if he stumbled upon the boy and Eggsy tried to run, he'd have less chance to slip free while Harry wasn't looking. 

Nothing. There was nothing. Merlin was silent in the earpiece, offering no new gleaned pieces of information. None of the footpaths led to any trace of the boy, not even a hint that he'd been there. The yard was cold and deserted, utterly still. Perhaps Eggsy had hid in a different yard, or perhaps he was here, hiding. If he was present, he would have heard someone walking around and assumed it was Harry. Eggsy wouldn't have tried to run for it unless he had to, and nothing was going to make him call out and give away his hiding place.

Harry stopped and ran a hand through his hair. He looked out over the water, thinking of Eggsy on some boat, hidden away and floating down the river. 

"He's scared and alone. But more scared of me." Harry knew only Merlin was there to hear him. He also knew this wasn't the way to find Eggsy, or get him back, but Harry couldn't make himself turn around. 

He made his way towards the river. Sure enough, there was the shoreline, frozen and desolate, only the lights of the city gleaming on the other side. Harry could imagine Eggsy walking along the water's edge. Not the boy he'd made Eggsy into, the one who wore new clothes and always had a smile for Harry, but the one Eggsy had been when they'd first met, whose boldness was tempered only with wariness. That boy would have grown up to know the back streets of the city. That boy could have walked down by the frozen water and not been afraid. 

Harry sighed and, finally, turned around.

He searched for another hour before it became unwise to linger any longer. The area around the train yard was mostly deserted, but he still cut a very conspicuous figure. Merlin would take care of editing any footage from the local cameras to hide his presence, but without backup, Harry didn't want to risk being seen by someone he couldn't tranquilize in time. Harry couldn't afford for people to talk and couldn’t afford, through back channels that combed through rumours and gossip for real intelligence, for word to reach Arthur's ears.

If Arthur found out he'd lost the boy, things would get much, much worse. Harry could and would most certainly be punished for his unauthorized use of Kingsman resources, and Merlin would be punished for covering for him, but if Arthur decided Eggsy was a security risk and loose end, he'd order a hit. Eggsy dead was not something that he wanted to think about.

Harry needed a plan. 

Merlin was already setting up an automated facial recognition program to look for Eggsy across the CCTV network. Soon, he would resurface. Harry would only be able to catch him if he could anticipate where Eggsy was going to be, or lure him where Harry wanted him. And beyond that.... Harry didn't let himself think beyond that. 

"We can keep Arthur in the dark for now," Harry spoke to Merlin as he drove the long way back to Kensington, half tempted to take a hotel by the yard that night, but knowing he was going to need access to his computer. "So long as I can get him home soon.... I'm going to look into his friends and their families and so on; I'll send you a list. We can start there, mark those homes to watch first. See if the kids go anywhere out of the ordinary. He is bound to reach out to someone."

"He _might_. I'm not so certain. For someone that young, inexperienced, and partially oblivious, he's fairly clever and has some good instincts. He's found things hidden in your house that we thought were adequately disguised, even before he was suspicious. He got around headquarters security. He planted a bloody spy cam in your own office to access your computer and you didn't notice or suspect he had the capacity for it," Merlin, who must have taken a look through more of last night’s footage, pointed out. "Not all of that is carelessness. Eggsy is going to be careful now that he knows what sort of technology we have access to and what you're capable of. I'll set up parameters anyways, but we're not going to catch him by waiting for him to go back to Rowley Way. Not unless he runs out of other options."

Harry sighed, wishing the lights of the city passing by didn't seem so desolate. "Right. You're right. We're going to have to approach this as though he knows everything we're capable of. We're either going to have to catch him as he forms a routine, or we're going to have to find a way to lure him out." Eggsy was inexperienced at this, and it would be very tempting to visit the same shops for food or the same toilets in a general location to wash up, easy to form those habits without realising it, too. But he was smart enough to be aware Harry could find him that way. In all the stories Harry had told him of searching out a mark, Eggsy was sure to remember. Harry needed something better. 

"We'll find him. He can't very well hide forever. He'll have to move for food, heat, hygiene. Bodily functions. Cameras are everywhere. If we catch sight of him in a spot that's prime for an ambush and extraction, that's what we'll do. If not, we do the same as any target. Build up a dossier of movement patterns, anticipate the next move, and catch him in transit. Even if he goes overseas, he wouldn't be out of reach. It will only mean more work." Work, and a risk of being brought to Arthur's attention. A cross-country runaway would be something to make headlines.

It was nice to hear the certainty in Merlin's voice, but it didn't alleviate the sinking pit in Harry's chest, the one that reminded him that simply getting Eggsy back in his custody was not the worst of the problem. 

"Let's get him back before that happens," Harry confirmed. "I think....I think it would be worth it to tap Michelle's phone line, in case he tries to call in." Harry didn't often feel that twist in his chest when he made such requests, but he would rather Michelle not be tipped off until he'd had a chance to speak with Eggsy. At the very least he did not want her going down to the nearest police station claiming that the man who'd adopted her son had been molesting him and also just so happened to be a spy outside of any known government organization. 

Harry pulled into the garage in only minor relief to be home. He dashed into the house and headed straight for the stairs. 

"I'll take care of it." Silence filled the line, but Merlin hadn't cut communications yet. Harry could distantly hear the soft electronic hum in the background that was always present when they were relaying information back and forth on a mission. "Harry? You are going to call me before you make any drastic decisions or take any exceptionally risky actions. You are also going to call me if you need anything. You are going to take care of _yourself_ as best you can during this, or I'm going to make you very regretful that you didn't do as I told you. Do you understand?"

Harry was just sitting down in his office chair, and in spite of everything, he huffed a laugh. He was sure there was only a hint of joy in it. "I understand, Merlin." Harry sat back and booted up the computer. "I'm not quite there yet, but it's good to know." It felt more like a fog was descending upon him, an uncomfortable weight in his chest and heaviness in the air around him. Harry recognised it as shock. He knew it was going to get worse, and so did Merlin. "I give you my word, I'll call." That was the admission, more than any other thing they had said that night, that they both knew the situation was out of their control. There was no going back from what Eggsy knew now. 

Harry logged into the network and began to pull up what he could find on the names of the boys Eggsy had mentioned in passing, and of the ones Harry had known from watching him years ago.

Harry cursed his lack of forethought regarding this possibility. He'd known that there was a danger of Eggsy discovering the truth eventually, or beginning to question their relationship as he got older, but Harry had thought he'd have years yet before that happened. He'd thought he had had a level of oversight that was, in actuality, clearly lacking now that he needed to regain control of the situation or at least reduce the damage. Harry knew some of Eggsy's major friends, but not all of his acquaintances. He hadn't had Eggsy's school bugged because he hadn't thought he'd need that level of infiltration.

Eggsy might go to one of his closer friends, or he might anticipate Harry would be watching them. He might go, instead, to someone else he didn't know well enough to have ever mentioned. Trying to track down every kids Eggsy might have known from school would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

He had to start with the friends Eggsy did have and work his way out from there. He brought up old footage of Eggsy's time with them, stolen from the CCTV feeds around Eggsy's old neighbourhood. Harry focused on the boys he didn't know and saved their faces. If he found out who they were and where they lived, other connections would follow. A glimpse of the family's ties and income would tell Harry a lot about which kids Eggsy might go to for help. 

The only problem was that this footage was from months ago. Since Eggsy had moved in, Harry had no need of following him around the city when he was out with his friends. Harry had done it once or twice when he was having a slow day or he simply wanted to see Eggsy on a whim, but little more than that. Many of these kids might have moved on already, and more might have taken their place. 

Harry sat back in his chair with a sigh. The more he thought about this, the more he knew it wasn't going to be solved within a day. Not unless he was very, very lucky. 

He couldn't hang everything on luck alone, and giving up wasn't an option. Harry couldn't let things end so soon, or on such a note. Eggsy could even be in real danger. From what Harry had seen, the boy had some good survival instincts from his upbringing, but no practical knowledge about surviving on the street. He might collapse from lack of sufficient food and water. He might freeze from not wearing enough insulated layers or failing to find adequate shelter.

Eggsy might also be picked up by a trafficker. Harry wasn't the only one with a taste for young boys, and traffickers commonly targeted and recruited desperate homeless children who had few or no options left.

As still as he tried to make himself, Harry could feel his heart beating faster and faster. He took a deep breath. He wanted to go back out there. He _needed_ to find Eggsy. 

The decanter on the shelf called to him and Harry didn't resist. He poured himself a glass and settled back in front of the computer. He had to calm down. The scotch helped him focus as the hours passed, and when it gave way to tiredness, Harry made himself a pot of coffee. 

Around 6 am he gave up work at the computer to stand by the window. He looked down over the mew and wondered if Eggsy had looked down that road before he left. He wondered if Eggsy had looked back at the house, and if he had, what he'd seen there. It wasn't difficult to imagine something far more foreboding in its place, in Eggsy's eyes. Harry wondered if he'd seen a prison, or if he'd imagined the figure of Harry, as he was now, standing at the window and looking out at the boy down below, wishing he'd turn around. 

He didn't blame Eggsy for jumping to the worst conclusions. They were true. Harry _had_ purposefully engineered painful events in order to get Eggsy into his home and bed. Harry would apologize, but he couldn't regret his actions. Those deeds had gotten him what he'd wanted for years. Given the choice, he'd do it all over again.

What was worse was the idea that Eggsy might think that Harry had never loved him at all. That _everything_ had been a lie.

* * *

Eggsy woke that morning freezing cold. 

Sunlight filtered in on the pale white ceiling above his head, but it wasn't familiar. The wall was metal and the room was too narrow, and it took a moment to reorient himself before he remembered where he was, and how he'd probably only gotten to sleep an hour ago. Maybe less. A soft whine escaped him as he curled into himself tighter, but nothing could keep out the cold. He'd been fighting it all night, in and out of sleep, but this was the first time he'd forgotten for a few wonderful moments where he was and what had brought him there. 

There was no use trying for more. Eggsy knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now that the sun was up _and_ it was still freezing out. He sat up and tried to move around. His body was stiff, but his winter jacket and mittens would be warm enough if he could just get his blood flowing again. 

His stomach cramped and growled. Dinner last night barely merited the term. Eggsy still had supplies in his backpack, but they'd quickly run out if he indulged too much, and granola and fruit snacks weren't very filling. He wanted something better.

Eggsy didn't know if he was brave enough to risk trying for something better. The previous night's close call had left him shaken and terrified. Harry had come within feet of where he'd been hiding. Eggsy had known that Harry would likely track him across London, but he hadn't fathomed how quickly he'd do it, or that he'd come so close. If anything had gone wrong, he could have been easily trapped in the freight container.

In the end, Eggsy didn't get much of a choice about whether to stay or move on. While moving around and trying to warm up, the boy heard voices and the thrum of engines starting up. Workers were arriving in the yard to load and unload freight and get things ready to ship out. They'd call the police if they caught him, and if he snuck into a full container there was no telling where he'd end up or how long it would take to get there.

Eggsy gathered his things, zipped up his backpack, and went to look out. Sure enough, the sun was well above the horizon and he could see a couple trucks moving on the other side of the yard. They were far enough away now, and Eggsy could get out without being noticed if he was careful not to wander into plain sight. He was thankful, for the first time that night, he hadn't slept long enough for them to surprise him. 

He jumped down from the carriage and landed in knee deep snow. Before he moved on, however, the sight of larger tracks caught him off guard. It shouldn't have. They were Harry's, and Eggsy should have expected them, but the sight of it made his chest feel tight. Very deliberately, he looked away and moved on. 

At first he thought that maybe if he kept close enough to the docks, there would be less cameras, and he was probably right, but _less_ was a relative term. As Eggsy walked up the street, he could already see one on the light post that overlooked the shipping yard.

He'd have to move quickly. Harry had tracked him right across London with cameras like those. Maybe Harry would be caught up with work and unable to take action right away, but Eggsy couldn't afford to make that assumption. He couldn't afford to assume that Harry might not send someone else, either... like Landon. 

He had to get to the right neighbourhood and then try to remember where his friends' friends lived. Eggsy didn't dare call them to check. Harry would probably be tapping the phone lines of everyone he knew that Eggsy knew, so using a phone booth or asking and adult if he could borrow their phone wouldn't help. Harry would know where he was going then.

He needed to disappear again as quickly as possible. If he was lucky, he'd be able to pick some pockets or shoplift from a store on the way. Eggsy needed his money to last, and he wanted something more substantial than the food tucked away in his bag.

He didn't want to take the tube back, but he could think of no other realistic way to get to his old neighbourhood. A cab might be safer, or less easy to track, but there was no guarantee he wouldn't be caught on camera getting in or being dropped off. And it was too expensive, being all the way across the city. 

Eggsy didn't regret going all the way over to the East Side though. He'd had to get as far away as possible, and he was pretty sure that and holing up down by the water were the only things that kept him out of Harry's reach. Barely. 

The entrance to a supermarket was the best place he could find to swipe a wallet. People were coming and going, carrying their shopping through a small space, and it wasn't difficult or particularly suspicious to collide with an unsuspecting customer on the way in. Eggsy got shouted at, to which he simply hunched his shoulders and looked as meek as possible, mumbling a 'sorry', before the man ambled off again. He knew the incident would be caught on camera, but it wouldn't tip off the staff. He was going to be caught on camera on the tube regardless, and he needed something to eat. 

Ten minutes later, Eggsy sat on the tube on his way back, sandwich in hand and thinking that maybe he could bribe Jamal with some of the money he'd stolen from Harry if the other boy wasn't keen on helping right away. 

Eggsy could only hope that going back across the city wasn't going to be as dangerous as it felt. The closer he was to where Harry lived and worked, the less time it would take for Harry to travel to him. 

Eggsy had no idea what would happen if Harry managed to corner him. He didn't think Harry would let him go, and Eggsy knew he had no chance to successfully fight Harry. He'd get taken prisoner and never get a chance to escape again. He didn't think Harry would kill him to keep him quiet about everything he'd seen, but that wasn't entirely off the table either.

Now that Eggsy thought about it, he'd have to be careful how much he told Jamal, too. Harry would find the other boy eventually and try to get him to talk. The less Jamal knew about what was going on, the better. It would keep him safer.

He didn't like the thought of putting someone else in danger, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. He had to find help _somewhere_ and it felt infinitely better that it start with someone he knew. 

As the lights passed by out the window, one by one, illuminating the tile walls in a slow rhythm, Eggsy tried to stay calm and make a plan. When he got off, he couldn't go straight to Jamal's place. It would be too easy to track him there. He had to get out of sight first, and then pop up someplace else if he could, then make his way over. If he wasn't wrong about where Jamal lived. Eggsy didn't know how Harry and his organization tracked people by city surveillance, except following their path, but he knew they did and did it well. Throwing them off was his best bet. 

The streets would be well covered, Eggsy knew, but he thought back to the time he'd hidden under an overpass when Dean and his mum were fighting, one of the places he'd called Harry to pick him up he remembered with a newly familiar tightness in his chest. He didn't think any camera would have seen him there, and he might even be able to cross some streets that way. 

He wished things were a bit more like the movies. Heroes in film always had just the right solutions to this sort of problem, whether that was cloaking devices or hacking camera systems or knowing secret sewer tunnels by heart. Instead, the deck was stacked _against_ Eggsy. Harry and his friends had all the devices, all the cameras, all the maps. All Eggsy had was his own small self and whatever help his friends might be able to provide. Kids against adult spies wasn't even remotely fair.

Eggsy walked until he was tucked under an underpass and thought hard. Harry was going to expect him to go towards places that weren't super familiar, but weren't entirely new. He was going to expect him to want to stay out of sight somewhere warm after a long night outside, which was true, and to go somewhere where a kid alone wouldn't be a strange thing.

Someplace like the arcade. He'd gone a couple of times with friends, but Eggsy had never consistently had pocket money for it. Picking pockets was always an option but was a lot riskier than boosting stuff from stores, and so Eggsy had given it up as a hangout option. The arcade was warm, though, and packed with adults and kids alike. Everyone would assume that he belonged, and no one would pay attention to how long he stayed. They even had a little place inside where he could buy snacks and drinks, and toilets he could use.

Eggsy would make it look like he was going to hole up in there, then escape out the back. Maybe he could even swap coats with another kid. Something so it didn't look like him on the cameras when he left.

When his mind was made up, he emerged from the underpass and was on his way. He did his best to say out of the cameras' lines of sight, it wouldn't help him to make it obvious he was letting himself be tracked, and Eggsy knew he'd be caught on film anyway. 

When he arrived, Eggsy had to gather his courage just to walk inside. Being in an enclosed space, even a public one, suddenly didn't feel safe anymore. Not when he was on the same side of the city as Harry. But Eggsy stepped inside and found the place familiarly crowded. It was the weekend now, and kids were all around. Eggsy realised he would have been out of luck had it been a school day, and a relief he hadn't expected washed over him. 

It was warm, too. Along the wall in front of the register counter was a row of coats and hangers. No one would be dumb enough to leave their wallets sitting in the pockets, even the kids would know to take their money with them, and Eggsy would look suspicious if he tried to go through them, but he could hang his coat and hat up here without much fear of them being taken and go inside for a little while. 

He couldn't stay long. He knew that. He hadn't expected the heat to feel quite so good, though. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up, looking around at the other coats there that might fit him when he wanted to go. His first stop once that was done wasn't the food stand, or even the token machine, but the loo. Eggsy hadn't thought he'd miss having access to a toilet so much, but he'd also never thought he'd have to go without one.

Eggsy was finding out that being homeless meant being tired, cold, and hungry a lot. He was only on the second day and he already wanted to be done with it. There was a profound unfairness to the fact that there were a good many shelters set up for adults and older kids, but nothing at all to protect kids like him. He couldn't run to any official place and have them listen, much less be able to protect him.

As he was washing his hands, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. The boy who looked back struck him, not just because he looked tired and not just because he looked haunted, but because Eggsy remembered the same look on his face the last time he looked in the mirror. It had been at Harry's house. When he was thinking about the vase and what to do. Eggsy watched his shoulders slump and had the strangest sense of being transported back into that time, only days ago. 

He felt like he could close his eyes, open them again, and everything would be normal. This could have all been a daydream, all within the span of time it took to wash his hands on a sleepy Saturday morning. Some nightmarish fantasy that wound itself up in Harry's work. He could close his eyes and open them again and everything would be ok. Harry wouldn't have done anything wrong, and Eggsy would still be loved. His lip trembled in the mirror and Eggsy had to take a deep breath and look away. He couldn't start crying here. 

He had to go on with his plan, so he dried his hands and fought those memories to the back of his mind, and the feelings alongside them. It was easier when he stepped back out into the arcade and he had to put on a brave face or people would notice him. He took another breath to steady himself, made sure the clerk wasn't paying him any attention, and guessed that enough time had passed that he wouldn't be eyed too suspiciously for coming and going so soon before he walked back up to the coat rack and pulled down a puffy green and black coat that wasn't his. 

When Eggsy stuck his hand into the coat pocket, he felt a small knit cap tucked away there. _Perfect._ Maybe the cameras would be poor enough that whoever was watching them was looking more for his coat and hair than anything else. Eggsy tugged the hat on and, feeling his heart pounding in his chest again, walked out the door by himself.

Eggsy forced himself to walk like normal. He didn't glance around constantly looking for cameras. He took his time getting back out of view, down to an underpass, and caught his breath before continuing on. He remembered Jamal's family having a flat a few blocks from there. If all went well, he'd get in, get the information he needed, and get out again before Harry knew he'd left the arcade.

The walk felt twice as long in the cold, and even longer with the threat of being out in the open, but eventually Eggsy arrived on the step of a little concrete block of flats, smaller than the behemoth of the hall where he'd lived on Rowley Way, but thankfully he hadn't seen much surveillance around the area. 

He looked at the placard next to the doorbell and his stomach dropped immediately. He didn't remember Jamal's last name. He had no idea which flat was his and he wouldn't recognize Jamal's mums' name either. He couldn't sit outside the front door for someone to come by because he still wouldn't know which door to knock on once he got inside. Eggsy looked up and down the list with his heart in his throat and picked the first name. He could think of only one way to do this, and it made his palms sweat. 

The buzzer rang and a man's voice came out the speaker. "Yeah, who is it?" 

Eggsy got up on his toes and asked hopefully, "Hey, is Jamal there?" He was summarily told off for hitting the wrong button, so, shoring up his courage, Eggsy tried the next. 

"Yeah, he is. Who's this?" Had Eggsy sounded older, he might have had trouble getting the man to respond again, but his voice was pitched high enough that the speaker rightfully assumed that the visitor was some young friend of Jamal's. " _Jamal_. Put the controller down when I wanna talk to you. Did you invite someone over? You gotta ask first. Alright? No. No, come talk to your mate here. What's your name, again?"

"Eggsy!" Eggsy's spirits soared and with them, his voice lifted even higher. This must be Jamal's older brother. If Eggsy remembered right, it was just Jamal, his brother, and his mother after they'd moved from the East End. Eggsy didn't bother trying to explain that he wasn't expected. He just needed to get Jamal outside, or be let in. Preferably the latter. Except he probably shouldn't talk about his problems in front of Jamal's brother. With that thought, his nerves came rushing back. 

Another, younger, voice sounded over the speaker. "Eggsy? That you? What you doin' on my doorstep?" But before Eggsy could answer, Jamal just went on. "Come on up, I'm buzzin' you in."

The electric buzzer was much louder than Eggsy had anticipated. He nearly jumped out of his skin as the nearby doorway growled its disapproval at him, but when he grabbed the door handle it swung open smoothly.

Now Eggsy had another problem. He was expected, but he had no idea what flat Jamal lived in. He stared at the lift and thought. Maybe if he waited for long enough, Jamal would come and find him. That would neatly solve the problem of talking in front of his mum and brother _and_ the fact that he didn't really know where the other boy lived.

Or maybe Jamal wouldn't come down to find him. He could be wasting valuable time waiting. He didn't know how long Harry would be fooled, and he needed to start traveling again soon and figure out where to hole up for the night. The speaker at the door at least gave Eggsy an idea of what floor Jamal was on, so he punched the button for the lift and selected floor three.

When he stepped off on the third floor, he looked up at the numbers on the doors. They led up in one direction and down in the other, so Eggsy took the downward hall. Muffled voices came through many of the doors he passed, some were of music, others sounded like the telly, and other still were just people talking. When Eggsy stopped in front of 308, he could hear two males chatting behind the door and though he couldn't make out what they were saying, one he instantly recognized as Jamal. With relief, he knocked. 

Footsteps sounded and the door opened, and there was Jamal in sweatpants and a tshirt and looking like he'd just got out of bed, but his face was wide with a smile. "Eggsy, hey bruv, what's up?" He stepped back and let Eggsy inside without thinking twice about it. "This is DJ." Jamal waved his hand at an older boy, more of a man really, sitting on the couch in front of the telly. 

"What kinda name's Eggsy?" DJ waved and asked, not bothering to get up. 

"I dunno, what kinda name's DJ?" Eggsy shrugged and followed Jamal further in. "Jamal, you got your own room, right? Can we go talk? I woulda asked at school but, y'know..." Eggsy's mouth pulled into an easy-half smile and he tilted his head to one side. Jamal would know something was up, because he knew Eggsy hadn't been at school that day. Possibly he'd even noticed something was off the day before, like some of the other kids at school. Eggsy had been too worried about things with Harry to pay much attention to pretending he wasn't distracted and unhappy.

"Back this way." Jamal waved for Eggsy to follow, somehow perfectly at ease with having Eggsy over even though he'd never been before. 

Jamal's room was at the end of the hall and not very big, but at least it was his own. There were clothes piled all over the floor, posters on the walls, and half a dozen soda cans lined the table beside his bed, but it was the kind of mess Eggsy was used to. The kind of mess Eggsy's room used to be at his mum's place. Jamal let Eggsy take the chair by his desk while he sat on his bed. 

"So what's goin' on, an' what's with you bein' all secret like?" Jamal asked.

Eggsy sank into the chair with a bit of unease. The clock was ticking. Harry would come here sooner or later. He had to tell Jamal enough that the other boy would help him, but not enough that he'd get in trouble. Eggsy didn't want anyone else hurt, whether he knew them well or not. "I... stuff has gone really wrong. Really, really wrong. You know I got adopted a while back, right, 'cause stuff isn't ok with my family? That's why I was in swapped schools for a bit. Where I got adopted ain't working either. I _can't_ stay there, but I can't go home to my mum either, 'cause things are still bad and I'll just get taken back to my adopted family anyways. I've... run off, and I remember you tellin' me or someone else at school that you knew some other kids that had run away and made stuff work. Is that true?"

Jamal's eyebrows rose and he stared at Eggsy for a long moment in disbelief. " _Shit._ " He slumped back as though Eggsy's news was a blow. "That's....messed up. An' we was givin' you all that crap about bein' all posh an' whatnot now." Jamal took a moment to look Eggsy over, and Eggsy felt it. It was the first time someone outside of all this looked in, even if Eggsy wasn't offering much. Jamal shrugged his shoulders and bit his lip, coming to a decision. "I got some mates like that, yeah, but they're older an' mostly they're my bruv's mates I guess. You serious you can't go back?" 

"Yeah. I know it sounds bonkers, but sometimes stuff looks real good from the outside, but it isn't. I don't care how posh the place was, I just... can't stay there. I'm gonna be better-" Eggsy's throat closed up and he fought off a sob. He didn't want to get all weak and emotional in front of Jamal. Embarrassment aside, he couldn't waste the time it would take him to recover. He would cry later over the thought that he was going to have to do without Harry. That everything he'd had had been a lie. "I'm gonna be better off on my own, doin' my own thing. I need pointers, though. I don't know nothin' about living on my own and... well, y'know. People think I'm just a kid. I can't go get help, and nobody's gonna hire me for a job so I can get my own place. I don't know what I'm s'posed to do."

Jamal sat up a little straighter. He sobered at Eggsy's near display of emotion and nodded once. "Yeah bruv. I can getcha some names. There was this one house my cousin went to 'fore we moved here. Place that takes in a lo'a kids an' has 'em help round with chores 'n stuff. Usually older, though. Dunno what they'd say if your short arse showed up t'the door." Jamal offered a crooked smile and it looked like he did it just to see if Eggsy could be cheered, but his teeth snagged at his lip again after, and Eggsy could see there was something else. "Dunno how long you can stay for, even if they do say yes. You pro'ly know the type; 'fore long some 'a the older guys'll start asking you for help with business if they got some'ffin running, just so you can stay." 

"Yeah, I know th'type. Better than nothin', though. Ain't like I got much of a choice neither. It's whatever I can get, or goin' back to the bloke that adopted me." Eggsy fidgeted and absently rubbed at his arm. He appreciated that Jamal wasn't asking much in the way of questions. He wasn't ready to talk about things to anyone, particularly not someone who was almost a stranger. "Maybe they'll let me stay 'cause nobody'd think I had anything to do with business. Could be useful."

Eggsy cleared his throat. "Listen. These names? If someone else comes after I go, don't tell 'em nothin'. You don't know any names. I came and asked you for pocket money and advice, or something, and you didn't have anything for me, okay?"

Jamal nodded seriously. It was a good sign, the way he wasn't taken aback. Hopefully, it would prove a testament to the viability of the people he was about to point Eggsy to. A lot of the other kids at the estates talked about having friends in low places, or connections with the various underground businesses in the area. Some even claimed to know ex-cons, but Eggsy, and most kids who grew up around him, had always been able to tell which ones were exaggerating for their own credit. Jamal had a couple tall tales, but Eggsy could tell he wasn't lying when he talked about the people he knew. 

"I'mma give you my number, too," Jamal said as he went to find a pad of paper and a pencil at the desk. "That way you have at least one person you can call if some'ffin goes wrong."

"Okay," Eggsy agreed. He knew he'd never call. Once Harry tracked him to Jamal's place, he'd probably tap the phones or something. Every time he got help somewhere, that bridge would get burnt, because coming back would likely be a trap. If things went wrong, Eggsy might as well take the tube back to Harry's place, as he'd end up there sooner or later whether he wanted to or not. "Thanks. I 'ppreciate it. I've been sleepin' outside okay, but it's gonna be nice to get in _somewhere_."

", man...." Jamal stood when Eggsy did, and with the way he was shifting his weight from one foot to another, he looked a little uncertain about letting Eggsy go. Which was probably a sign that Eggsy should go. Jamal followed close through the hall. "You call my number, ok? An' if DJ picks up, you can tell him where you're at an' what's goin' on. He's an arse mosta' the time, but that shit's bad." 

They stopped beside the couch but it was obvious DJ still wasn't paying them any attention when he waved his hand for them to get out of the line of the telly. 

"I should tell you," Jamal went on. "Most a' those guys ain't in the neighbourhood. S'all people we knew in the East End."

"That's... good, actually. Further away I get, the better. I don't know how many people this bloke knows, but I don't wanna run into anyone lookin' for me by accident. Don't think posh people got a lot of friends in the East End." Being further away would also save Eggsy from temptation. The temptation to check in on Michelle, and to... go back. Eggsy couldn't, but he _wanted_ to. He ached for it. He wanted to go back and for Harry to have a reasonable explanation for everything, and for everything to be a nightmare that he could put behind him and forget about, but even Eggsy knew he was past that point now. He'd seen too much, and there were no explanations. For all he knew, Harry might murder him just like the men in the video for finding out too many secrets.

Jamal saw Eggsy to the door with undisguised worry in his face. "I gotta say," he started, just before Eggsy could escape, "I knew things was bad with your mum and all, but I'd never thought you'd be one 'a the ones to wind up on the streets, y'know? 'Specially not after you went to live with some rich bloke. I ain't gonna see you in school no more, am I?" Even with the door open and Eggsy halfway through, Jamal was giving him this look like he was on the verge of asking Eggsy not to go through with it. 

Eggsy shook his head. He had to get out of there. He had what he came for, and Harry might already be on his way, and Eggsy couldn't afford to have Jamal try to stop him. Or for the other boy to suddenly decide that things couldn't be _that_ bad and to tell Harry where he'd gone, and to whom. "Prob'ly not, no. Listen though, don't tell anyone where I've gone. Nobody. I don't care who asks. If things don't work out, I'll figure out somethin' else to try, but I can't go back. Alright?"

Jamal nodded quickly. "I won't. I ain't gonna tell." 

Eggsy could believe Jamal had seen some bad family situations. From what he knew of the boy, his father had been one of them and the look on his face said he wasn't about to trust just anybody. 

DJ shouted something from inside and Jamal looked over his shoulder. "I'll close the door when I feel like it!" He turned back to Eggsy with a half roll of his eyes--an apology--before sobering. "Take care, ok?"

"I will. And I'll give you a call if, y'know... stuff gets bad and it doesn't work out." Eggsy's hands jammed into his pockets. He wasn't any good at goodbyes. Jamal was going to get a bunch of trouble for helping him, but at least Eggsy would never bother him and cause him _more_ trouble again. "You take care, too."

Jamal’s gaze tracked Eggsy like he knew he was dodging, but Jamal nodded all the same before Eggsy turned around. 

That was the last Eggsy would see of him for hopefully quite a while, he thought as he made his way out of the flats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (2/13) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)!
> 
> Second note: Next week's chapter (2/19) will be a week late. Sorry everyone, but we'll be back again the next Friday.


	32. Chapter 32

Briefly, the thought of going back for his coat crossed Eggsy’s mind. It was a stupid idea, dismissed as soon as it came to mind, yet it was ingrained in him. It was one of those thoughts he wouldn't have had had he actually grown up without a home, and he had to start thinking that way better now. Eggsy walked a ways down the street until he could hide out of sight and take a look at the piece of paper Jamal had given him. There were three names listed next to their respective phone numbers, and one was Jamal. 

Eggsy could only hope one of these people would take him in. 

Finding a pay phone was more difficult than Eggsy had anticipated. His mother had always told him to go to the nearest store and ask an adult to use their phone if he lost his mobile, but doing that was out of the question. That sort of advice worked if he had been lost and trying to get back to his family. The adult would keep him there and take care of him until the right person came to get him.

The only person that would come for Eggsy was Harry. He couldn't get stopped by an adult. 

After wandering for blocks, keeping his head down and steadily moving away from the area he'd been in, Eggsy finally stumbled across a little outdoor booth. It was tagged with paint and looking quite beat up, but it had a dial tone when he lifted the receiver. Eggsy dug in his pocket for some spare coins and punched in the first number on the paper.

It rang for a long time before someone answered. 

"Yeah who'sit?" A drawling female voice sounded on the end of the line. Eggsy thought she sounded young, but he was hardly the best judge. In the background he heard a telly and other voices. Someone shouted and another voice let out a high pitched wail. He caught the tones of an argument ensuing after. 

"Hey, you know Jamal? Jamal Dajani? He gave me your number and told me to call. Said you might... take a kid in, for a little bit, who don't got a home to go back to?" Eggsy bit his lower lip. If this person said no, he only had one more number to try. If they both said no, Eggsy didn't know what he'd do. Maybe he'd be able to find someone else who knew people that would take him in and show him the ropes, but he couldn't visit Jamal again.

There was a short pause on the other end of the line. "Maybe. Who's the kid an' what's the situation wiv' the parents?" The woman had an air of affected disinterest, like she'd taken this call a dozen times before. It wasn't exactly a warm welcome, but that didn't mean Eggsy was out of luck yet. She was still listening, after all. 

"I... I can't go back to my real mum, 'cause she drinks all the time and I got taken away, but who adopted me ain't any better. I had to leave, but anyone I ask for help'd just send me right back. I don't mind workin' or nothin'," Eggsy added in a rush. The woman might be more receptive if she didn't think he was just a freeloader. 

"You in trouble wiv' the law?" came the next question right on the heels of Eggsy's statement. He imagined a list sitting in front of her, or maybe that she'd memorized by now. Something she read down line by line until hopeful callers didn't meet a requirement. He could imagine her saying 'sorry, can't help, try someplace else' without so much as changing her tone. 

"Nah, no trouble, but my... adopted dad, he knows people. Don't matter if I ran away to like, the police or somethin', and told 'em why. He's got too many connections, so I'd just end up right back where I was." Eggsy's tongue felt thick. He didn't want to tell anyone what had happened to him, and he didn't have much confidence about the chances of Harry actually being caught and punished if he _did_ tell anyone... but in that moment, Eggsy's heart sank as he realized something.

He still loved Harry. He was scared shitless of the man, and angry, and betrayed, and he didn't know what to do with all of the feelings inside of him, but the idea of Harry put away in a prison made him want to cry. Even if he deserved it for all the pain and murder and lies.

The woman on the other end took a deep breath and Eggsy held his own before she spoke again. "I can't make no promises, but you can come 'round if you want. You know how'ta get here?" 

When Eggsy responded in the negative she gave him the street address and directions by the tube, her tone never growing more nor less interesting than the drawl she'd started with. By the time Eggsy hung up, he had written it all down on the back of Jamal's note and could only hope it would make sense when he tried to find his way. It wasn't until then that he realised he hadn't even asked who the woman was and if she was in charge. 

He'd find out when he got there. The day wasn't getting any younger, and leaving for another part of the city was better than trying to find a spot to sleep too close to where cameras had probably spotted him. The more Eggsy kept on the move, the more difficult it would be for Harry to find and catch him.

Yet again, Eggsy found himself making his way to the tube. He picked another pocket when the opportunity presented itself. If this lady and her place didn't work out, he'd have money for food and coins to try calling the other place.

The ride back was just as long as the ride there, and this time Eggsy was more tired than he had been when he'd woken, running on adrenaline and a welling desperation. That desperate anxiety was still there, coiled in his belly, but fatigue began to take its toll as he sat idle through station after station. How he would have liked to curl up on the seat there, where it was warm, and get some of the sleep he hadn't gotten the night before. It was so tempting, but Eggsy couldn't risk missing his stop, and he couldn't risk riding the tube for too long. 

As it was, nerves kept him awake until he arrived anyhow. 

He ended up not far from where he'd started that morning, just a bit north he guessed after looking at a map and matching up the streets he saw the night before. The house Eggsy was looking for was located between a set of council estates and a market, not far off one of the larger streets. Eggsy had rarely had to look for houses on his own before, but he kept to the directions the woman had given him, turned at the right roads and double checked the names of the buildings he passed, and though his heart was in his throat all the way there, he finally found it.

It was unwise to linger on the street, but Eggsy stared for at least a minute, working up his courage to go knock on the door. He didn't know these people. Maybe Jamal didn't even know them very well. How did he trust adults when they all betrayed and disappointed and hurt him? The woman and whoever else was in that house could end up being worse than getting caught and sent back to his mother or Harry.

Or maybe not. He wouldn't know until he tried. If they were worse, he could always run away again. He could even let himself get caught, if the people in this house proved to be terrible. Eggsy felt the bit of paper in his pocket to give himself a bit more confidence and walked towards the front door. The first rap of his knuckles made barely any sound at all, and Eggsy had to try again before it became something that someone inside could hear.

A shout came from inside, and then another, high pitched voices he could tell belonged to children. The person who answered the door wasn't the woman he'd spoken to, however. It was a teenage boy. He was tall and blond and his shoulders were broad but he stood with a slouch looking down at Eggsy. The look on his face wasn't very welcoming. 

"Who're you?" the boy asked, voice deep, but curious. Behind him Eggsy caught a glimpse of two other kids, also older, passing through the hall. He hadn't been mistaken about the voices he'd heard. 

"Um..." Eggsy shifted on his feet. The presence of other kids made him feel a bit better, but they were all older than he was. Kids became adults at some point, so maybe they'd be allies, or maybe they wouldn't. "I called and some lady told me to come over? I don't got anywhere to go and she said maybe I could stay here. I'm Eggsy," he added. 

The older boy raise a brow, and after a moment of consideration, shrugged his shoulder and stepped aside for Eggsy to come in. "Hey Jen!" he called down the hall before the door had even shut behind Eggsy. "Somebody here for you, says 'is names' 'Eggsy'." 

It looked like the older boy meant for Eggsy to follow even if he didn't turn around and make that clear. There was a pile of boots on a rug by the door, but Eggsy didn't know if he'd be welcome to stay or not and the other boy was already disappearing around the corner of the hall, so Eggsy gave his boots a quick wipe and dashed to catch up. 

In the kitchen two girls sat at the table, or rather, one sat on the table while the other slouched in her chair, and a woman with pink hair leaned over a pile of paperwork on the counter top. All three looked up when Eggsy stopped in front of the door. The woman was the only one who didn't seem surprised. She sighed. "Thank you Bastian." The older boy glanced down at Eggsy again with a look that might have been encouragement, but it looked more like a silent expression of 'good luck'. The two girls looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and got up from the table. 

"So you're Eggsy, huh?" the woman asked, glancing down at her paperwork again. She was definitely the one he'd spoken to on the phone. 

"Yeah. I... I got here as quick as I could. I had to wait for the tube," Eggsy babbled in explanation. He didn't know what this 'Jen' was looking for. One wrong move or word, and she might very well decide that he couldn't stay. Eggsy didn't want to be out in the cold again, exhausted and wondering if Harry was going to swoop down and grab him at any moment. "I didn't mean to interrupt nothin'. Um. Are the other kids here... like me? Ran away an' stuff?"

Jen pushed the paper she'd been looking at aside and instead looked up at Eggsy again. Her eyes travelled up and down his small frame and he knew she was making a judgement he couldn't decipher. "Most of 'em are, yes. This isn't an officially sanctioned shelter, but we take in kids who don't have anywhere else to go while they finish their last years of school. _You_ , however, are one of the youngest kids I've ever seen end up on our doorstep." She chewed on that thought for a minute. "How come you haven't gone to the local authorities for help after you ran away?"

Eggsy swallowed and looked down at his feet. He couldn't tell her that Harry was a spy. She'd laugh in his face and think that he was telling fantastical lies. He settled for a half-truth. "My ad-dopted, um... adopted dad, he knows a lot of people in the government. I found out he did a bunch of stuff to get me taken away from my mum. Stuff with my mum was bad, but he... set her up, or summat. He paid people off, or pulled favors, 'cause he... liked me. Y'know." Eggsy's voice had gotten quieter as he spoke. He couldn't bear to look up and see how the woman was taking his words. "I can't do nothin'. Nobody's gonna believe me if I go to the authorities, and he'll just pay 'em off or call in favors again, and then make sure I don't get another _chance_ to run away. My mum can't help me, I got no other family, and the authorities can't help me none. They _won't_."

Silence filled the space between them. When Eggsy gathered the courage to look up, he saw the woman's face was blank, but he got the impression he'd vaguely startled her. Almost undetectably, she let out a slow breath and nodded slowly. "Ok. It's. I won't say no, but it ain't up to me. I help out here, but I don't make that decision." He couldn't tell if she believed him or not, but at least she seemed to be taking him seriously. She shifted, straightened a little over the counter and looked at him very carefully. "We're restricted from taking in anyone under 13 without getting special approval from the local office. So I'll ask you now, how old are you?" 

"Jus' turned 13 last birthday." Eggsy drew on everything Harry had taught him about lying, meeting the woman's eyes and keeping his face from giving anything away. He was able to make his voice and breathing steady, but that didn't slow down his heart. "I know I'm kinda short yet. I've always been smaller. Didn't used to get as much to eat growing up, and I got told that's what did it."

Slowly, she nodded, looking him up and down again, but seemingly not going to press the issue further. "Well alright then. You can stay for the night at least, and we'll talk this over with Andrew once he gets home tonight. He's the one who runs the place." Finally she moved away from the counter, pushing errant strands of pink away from her forehead and came up to Eggsy. "My name's Jen. That was Bastian you met earlier. I'll show you around, but first I'm gonna have to have you take off those boots or you'll be tracking water all over the place. C'mon." She seemed friendlier, now that that was settled, and she led him back into the hall to take off his boots and hang up his jacket. She didn't question the fact that all he had was his backpack, and didn't make him leave it with the rest of the coats in the hall. 

Eggsy felt a bit better once his boots were off and settled with the others. He didn't know what to make of the place yet - or of Jen, or the other kids - and he was nervous to meet this Andrew, but...

He was warm. Eggsy wasn't alone, or trying to hide and pass beneath notice. Nobody thought anything about him being there that he could see, other than the natural curiosity a new face created. Jen began walking him through the rooms, pointing out where things were, and it didn't feel like home, but it also didn't feel like being turned out onto the streets to face the cold and his own despair. Eggsy couldn't quite hope yet that he was done running, but he drank in every minute of heat and relative safety with quiet gratitude.

The house wasn't very large, but there were four rooms for the kids, and one that was supposedly taken by Andrew, the man who owned the house and had final say over who stayed and went. Eggsy learned the two girls he'd seen earlier shared a room, as did two boys who weren't home. Bastian had his own room, and the fourth had been recently vacated by another girl. It sounded like she hadn't left on good terms by the look on Jen's face and tone of her voice as she showed Eggsy the room. She hadn't done much with it, there was only a twin sized bed in the corner, a desk, a lamp, and a couple posters on the wall, but it sounded like she hadn't been there long to begin with. 

"You can have this room for the night, but if you're staying, you might have to switch with one of the other boys," Jen told him as though there was a pecking order based on who had been waiting the longest for their own room. 

"That's fine." The room wasn't the spacious, grand thing he'd had at Harry's, but it also wasn't as small as his old room, which had almost been like a closet. Beggars couldn't be choosers. Anything he got was better than staying out on the street, cold and tired and constantly trying to stay one step ahead of Harry. There wasn't a guarantee that Harry wouldn't find him _here_ , but Eggsy needed to sleep. His chance of survival was better here than out there. "Any of 'em will be fine. It's better than sleepin' outside. Do... do I get to stay tonight, even if Andrew decides he don't want me here?"

"Yeah, you can. One day won't hurt nothing." Jen even gave him a small smile of reassurance. "We'll be having dinner at 5. You can stay in here or go and watch telly in the living room until then. An' we have a rule that if you go out, you need to be back before 9. After 9 we lock up and anybody who's out stays out, understand? If it happens repeatedly we'll figure you want to stay out for good and give your room to somebody else who wants it." She gave him a serious look, one she probably used on all the kids when she was warning them off. 

Eggsy nodded quickly. "Got it. You don't gotta worry, I got no interest in going out for a while. I had enough of that from sleepin' outside." Telly sounded tempting, but Eggsy didn't know whether that meant socializing with the other kids. He'd get to know them soon enough if he got to stay, but right then he felt... exhausted. The narrow little twin bed looked like heaven, particularly with the coverlet and the heating vent stuck in the wall. Eggsy wanted to curl up and sleep more than he wanted to talk to anyone else or numb his thoughts with telly programs.

"Ok." Jen straightened. "If you need anything, I'll be down in the kitchen." 

With that, she turned and left Eggsy alone in the room with his backpack clutched over one shoulder. Sounds of the telly drifted through the hall, coming from downstairs, but up there it was quiet. Eggsy didn't know where Bastian had gone, but it was likely the two girls had taken over the living room. He could probably sleep for a few hours, if he could relax enough in this new place. He felt exhausted enough for it, but his mind was still racing and his body was still high with adrenaline. 

Eggsy decided to try anyway. He'd nearly fallen asleep on the tube ride over, and that was when he was on high alert for Harry to snatch him. The boy shrugged off his backpack and set it on the floor within easy reach. He only grabbed the top comforter and turned it down enough that he could slide underneath it fully clothed. Eggsy still felt chilled. The vent rattled as warm air piped through, and the telly kept him aware of the fact that others were in the building with him. _Strangers_.

Eggsy didn't think he was going to ever drift off, but at some point he must have. He blinked, and the daylight that had been creeping in around the blinds had tapered off into dusk.

Sounds from the rooms below registered in his newly conscious mind and he knew that must have been what woke him. He could hear voices over the clatter of dish ware, many more voices than he'd heard before. Dinnertime, Jen had said. He wondered if she would come to get him if he didn't come down on time. 

With that thought in mind, Eggsy pulled himself out of bed and straightened his clothes. It felt weird to be wearing the same clothes as yesterday, going to sleep in them and waking up without changing, but it was all he could manage just then. As he made his way into the hall, he wondered if all the children were back and what they would be having. He'd had a sandwich that morning, but he was hungry again this late in the day. 

Eggsy found the living room empty when he reached the ground floor. All the noise was coming from the kitchen. He hesitated in the hall. These people really were strangers. Supposedly they were kids like him, and maybe they really were, but they were also kids who'd lived this way far longer than he had and he didn't know how to talk to them or if they'd even like him. He found himself biting his lip before he turned the corner. 

Around the table sat the two girls he'd seen before, still talking quietly together, both in their early teens, and two boys he hadn't seen before and could only assume they were the ones who shared the other bedroom, both were alternately getting up for things and sitting down again like they had too much energy. Jen had her hair up and was ordering the boys to get plates and utensils while stirring something in a large pot on the stove, and there was a man who stood with her, not particularly tall, and not young but also not exactly old. He looked kind of nerdy, Eggsy thought, with thin glasses and sharp features and a soft voice as he conversed with Jen when her attention wasn't on the boys. Eggsy could only assume he must be Andrew. 

Eggsy lingered in the doorway for a moment. Eggsy hadn't been prone to being shy before, but he was now. If people hadn't liked him at school or the skating park, Eggsy could deal with it. Here, he _had_ to get these people to like him. Or at least _tolerate_ him. This wasn't a public arena like school or the park, where everyone was entitled to be there and no real serious consequences would come from not getting along. He was the new kid, the youngest and the lowest in the pecking order. Andrew had to like him in order for him to stay, and the other kids had to like him enough not to push him out.

Eventually Eggsy walked further into the room. He skirted around the table and moved towards Jen, hoping she'd introduce him.

When she turned back to the stove to glance over the pot, she finally noticed him. "Eggsy. All rested up I see." She must have checked on him when he was asleep, which he wasn't sure how to feel about, but she did sound warmer than she had yet that day. 

The man leaned around her shoulder to get a better look at him. "So this is him, hm? Jen's been telling me about you. Says it sounds like you came from a pretty bad spot."

The other children ignored them for the most part, which was somewhat of a relief considering how much Eggsy was the focus in the conversation. 

"Yeah. I can't... go back to where I was, and if I try to get help they're jus' gonna send me back to the same place." Andrew didn't have the same natural, warm ease that Eggsy remembered Harry exuding. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe Andrew would be less of a liar, or at least _worse_ at lying. "Jen said you're the one that gets to decide if I get to stay or go? I'm not gonna be a bother, I _promise_. I'll do chores an' stuff, whatever you need me to do."

The man nodded along slowly. "Yes, you would have to do chores. You'd also have to go to school, just like the other kids." His voice was patient, and although it was naturally high, Eggsy could tell it was a voice he used to talk to kids. "We'd also have to notify _someone_ you're here, even if you have just turned thirteen. Now, that doesn't mean we have to go and tell your mum or the man who used to take care of you, but we would have to notify our local authority or we'd get in trouble." 

Eggsy's expression fell. He'd thought he'd already explained to Jen exactly why he hadn't gone to the local authority, and here Andrew was saying they would go to them anyways and tell them where he was. That was as good as telling Harry where to pick him up. He wouldn't have time to adjust to this new place because Harry would be there the moment he knew. "I... don't want to get you in trouble. I can't stay if they know I'm here, though. The man who adopted me will just come get me, and he'll find out once they know."

Eggsy guessed that it was too late for them to tell anyone he was there. He'd get some warm food and one night of decent sleep in a heated room before he'd be out on his own again.

Andrew's mouth thinned. He must have been hoping Eggsy would take the offer. "Well, alright, but you know you don't really have many options out there. You're going to have to tell somebody at some point, there's just no way around it." When Eggsy didn't budge, Andrew nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose with a sigh. "But you can stay here tonight and in the morning maybe we can talk about it and figure out a plan. What do you think about that?"

Just then Bastian came through the door. The older boy was like a freight train in motion and one of the other boys dodged out of the chair that was apparently his. They settled down again and Jen began dishing up spaghetti and meatballs onto the table. 

"Yeah, I guess so." Now Eggsy was worried. Andrew sounded like he was going to be reasonable and was only worried about Eggsy's wellbeing, but Eggsy had heard _that_ tune before. Andrew didn't look as pleased as he sounded. Eggsy might be able to stay the night, but he might have to sneak out the next morning. Andrew might not wait for them to talk about things, and might just call someone anticipating that he could get Eggsy to agree.

"Ok," Andrew nodded, "Now go and tuck in, we've got an extra chair." 

Jen had pulled one up between her and the pair of girls, maybe thinking that Eggsy would get pulled to easily into the boys' roughhousing. She was already calling for them to calm down by the time Eggsy sat. He thought he'd have to interrupt to ask for the spaghetti, but without breaking the pace of her admonishment, Jen picked up his plate and dished up a healthy portion before setting it back in front of him. Everyone at the table was talkative except for Bastian, who responded in mostly gruff, one word answers to Andrew and Jen when they asked him about his day. Eggsy did catch the boy glancing his way more than once though. 

Eggsy returned the looks with a questioning glance, but otherwise kept his head down. He wouldn't be getting to know these people. He'd pass out of their lives as quickly as he'd entered. Eggsy supposed he still had one more number in the list Jamal had given him, but he didn't have much hope. It was likely that the second number would have the same problem, where they'd tell the authorities where he was. Eggsy wanted to cry, and he wanted to curse. Being a child wasn't fair. He had no defence against adults. They could control and dictate everything in his life, and Harry more than most by virtue of the power of his profession.

If he was noticeably quiet, the others didn't comment on it. Jen asked him once if the spaghetti was ok, even though she could see he was eating well enough, even taking a second helping. She was probably just trying to coax him into talking. He responded politely enough, and managed to hold back tears for the rest of their time at the table, but after that she didn't try to draw him out of his shell any longer. 

When dinner was over, it was still a few hours before curfew and Jen told him he could take a bath in the upstairs toilet if he wanted to, and if he was still tired, he could go to bed early if he liked. 

Eggsy decided to take up the offer of a bath. If he was going to be on the run again, there was no telling when his next opportunity could be. He couldn't very well wash himself off in the sink of a public loo.

Eggsy trudged up the stairs feeling like his limbs were all full of lead. He was still grateful for the warmth and a full stomach, and a bath would make him feel a bit better, but nothing was going to combat the knowledge that he wasn't safe yet.

It was strange having to find towels for himself and figure out how to turn the water on in someone else's home. Even in his first days at Harry's house, Harry had shown him where things were and how everything worked. He'd had someone to guide him in such simple things. Removing one article of clothing after another in an unfamiliar place, even if the door was locked and he'd been assured he could use the bath, didn't feel right. 

Once he got the water running though, that helped. He turned on the shower faucet instead, since it was more familiar and he would feel less alone with the sound of the water running, and stepped inside.

Eggsy thought getting clean might help him feel a bit better. It didn't. He felt worse. The house's bathroom was nothing like Harry's, and yet all Eggsy could think about was that moment in the bath, when he'd been playing around thinking about where he could hide spy cameras only to accidentally find one.

It was better that he knew about Harry's lies and manipulation. Better to know that he'd been living a lie and that Harry was a _monster_ , but no small part of Eggsy wished that he'd stayed oblivious. He could have been happy if he hadn't known. Maybe he never would have found out. A lie where someone loved him, and cared for him, and he didn't have to worry about anything but schoolwork and when his lover was coming home... Eggsy preferred that to his current reality.

He couldn't quite hold back his sobs. Eggsy hoped that the rattle of the pipes and the hiss and spatter of water was loud enough to hide the sounds of him crying.

Trying to imagine comfort was no use. He just imagined Harry's arms around him, holding him in the shower as Harry had often done before, and that made the ache in his chest even worse. It felt so bad he thought it might rip him in two. Just when he thought he could stop, when he took deep breaths and braced his hands against the wall, his chest tightened and the tears began flowing again. 

He was left hunched under the water for a long time. Long enough that he feared someone like Jen or maybe even Andrew would be forced to knock on the door and ask whether he was ok. Or that he stop using all the hot water. He made himself wash his hair and scrub down after that thought, but even then it was difficult to keep from crying. 

Eggsy hurried as best he could. Just because he wasn't going to be staying more than one night didn't mean he had to be rude about things. Better not to burn any bridges and leave angry people behind him. He might have to come back for a night, some day. The less put out Andrew and Jen were, the more likely it was that they'd make another exception for him if he needed it.

Eggsy had no idea of how much time had passed when he finally turned the faucets off. The room was steamed up completely. Eggsy dried himself and got up on the balls of his feet to rub at the mirror. What little he could make out of the hazy reflection was suspiciously red-eyed and puffy. He couldn't hide it, but also couldn't afford to delay any longer.

He threw his clothes over his head and cracked open the door. 

The light was on in the boys' room, but their door was shut. Voices still murmured from downstairs above the noise of the telly and Eggsy thought the girls and the adults were still down there. He made his way on silent feet to the room he was occupying and closed the door shut behind him. If the other boys had theirs closed, then he would be allowed to as well, he hoped. 

Eggsy opened up his backpack to find some of the extra clothes he'd brought since it felt weird wearing the same ones. Maybe if he rotated them, they wouldn't get dirty as fast. 

Opening the backpack made him come to terms with just how little he had left. Some money, some food. A tiny, miniature torch meant for a keychain. His very old handheld game console, now out of batteries and probably a poor choice to bring in the first place. He'd gone from living in a run-down flat to a large house with as much stuff as he wanted to... this. Barely two sets of clothes and snack foods that were running out. He could buy more with money he'd pickpocketed, but that wasn't the point.

He didn't know how long he could sustain this. If every day was going to be like what he'd gone through so far, he'd never make it. He was going to screw up. Harry would catch him, or the police would. Every minute of every day would be spent in a state of hyper awareness looking for someplace to eat or sleep or stay for a while. Every day he'd be out in the cold until summer came, and that was a long ways away. Already he dreaded going back out there and spending another like he had the one before. 

A new sense of tiredness settled over him as he pulled on his second pair of clothes. He'd eaten, he'd bathed, but his insides felt hollow and the warmth of the vent by the wall didn't touch him anymore. 

Despite his distress, Eggsy was tired enough that he drifted off again shortly after he got into bed. Sleep was the black, dreamless void of the exhausted, which was a blessing - had he not been so tired, nightmares likely would have filled his head. 

Some time later that night, Eggsy stirred at the sound of a door opening. Soft footsteps padded across the floor. A hand closed over his mouth and Eggsy was suddenly wide awake and ready to scream. He half-expected the dark shape in the room to be Harry, but the outline wasn't right. His visitor wasn't tall enough, or broad enough. The hand wasn't the same one that had slipped fingers into his mouth in the throes of passion.

"Shhh," the voice came in a low hiss, "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you." 

Eggsy didn't recognise the voice at first. It was deep, but not in the way an adult's was. He blinked and a face came into focus. Bastian. The boy's hold on Eggsy's mouth relaxed a little when Eggsy went still and Bastian raised his brows, making sure Eggsy wasn't about to scream. Eggsy knew what malice looked like, but this boy's face held none. 

"I know I scared you, but I just had to make sure you were gonna be quiet," Bastian apologised and drew his hand away. He let Eggsy catch his breath and sit up. Bastian's eyes, grey in the dark, were bright as he considered Eggsy. "You really plannin' on running away so they don't tell nobody where you are?"

Eggsy nodded. "Nobody can know. It don't matter who they tell, if _anyone_ in the authorities knows where I am, the guy I ran away from is gonna find me and take me away again. Stayin' here'd be like going right back to him." Eggsy shifted uneasily on the mattress, which creaked underneath him. He hadn't talked to Bastian at all since he'd arrived but for their encounter at the door, and he had no real sense of what the older boy was like. "You're not gonna tell 'em I'm running away, are you? Andrew wants to talk me out of it and I'm worried he won't let me leave tomorrow."

Bastian shook his head. "Not gonna tell. I jus' might be able to make you a better offer." He shrugged one shoulder like it was no big deal, but Eggsy could see in his face he was interested in Eggsy saying yes. The older boy had an air of not caring about him, but it was thin. It was the air a lot of teenagers had, some of Eggsy's friends as well. Bastian crouched down and made himself comfortable by the side of Eggsy's bed.

"What kinda offer?" Eggsy didn't know what the other boy was going to say, but he held his breath even while he pretended to be casual. Adults all tended to play by adult rules. You had to do particular things, call certain people, file the right paperwork, do everything by the book all proper-like. Other kids, though, bent or broke those rules whenever they could. Adults didn't respect kids, so kids didn't respect adults and the nonsense they wanted everyone to follow.

"I might know of a place you could stay," Bastian began slowly, taking stock of Eggsy's demeanour as he did so, "Where nobody'd ask you any questions so long as you help out. It's nothin' that bad, just runnin' errands and stuff, makin' deliveries. You're small enough for it. An' if you don't ask any questions, neither will they." Bastian relaxed against the mattress and gave Eggsy a shrug and a small smile.

"Just errands? I don't gotta..." Eggsy had heard about things before, mostly with girls. They were only supposed to go places with other people, keep them company and be fake girlfriends, but they ended up doing more than just that. Eggsy liked sex, but he was soured on that right then. "Nothin' but deliveries? I can do it if it's just that."

Bastian's small smile turned crooked. "Thought you looked like you knew a thing or two," he said, more to himself than Eggsy, "but yeah, you're cute 'n all, but no one wants to risk that shite. Nothin' more'n errands and deliveries. That's sorta the point. Nobody'll look twice at a kid like you runnin' around from place to place. You could look like you're sellin' biscuits or sommat." When Eggsy chewed on his lip, Bastian raised his hand over his heart and put on a serious face. "Swear on my life, that's all."

Eggsy stared for a moment. Bastian didn't seem to be as smooth and practiced a liar as Harry had been. Eggsy thought he would have known if the other boy was stretching the truth or outright lying, but he seemed to be telling him things straight. After a couple of seconds, Eggsy nodded. "Alright. I can do deliveries and stuff. I don't really care so long as no one bothers me when I'm doin' it. The people in this place, they ain't gonna tell nobody I'm there? _Nobody_ is supposed to know where I am. I get found otherwise."

Bastian shook his head. "Nah, see that's why it's perfect. They don't have to explain you livin' there to no authorities, then they don't have to worry 'bout you gettin' caught. Win-win." The older boy wasn't shy about hiding his grin anymore. In another situation, he might have been handsome, if in an entirely different way than Harry was handsome, but there was too much resting on the situation for it to be of any consequence. If Eggsy went with this boy, he could be putting his life in his hands. It was a gamble, even if it didn't seem like Bastian was lying. 

"Just so long as I don't gotta do anything _else_ for people but the deliveries, and nobody tells on me. Alright?" Eggsy didn't see how he had another choice. He couldn't stay in this house, or he'd get reported to the authorities and caught. If he went back out onto the street, he'd likely freeze for a while and then get caught. The other number Jamal gave him would likely be like this place. He could at least _try_ the people Bastian was suggesting. If they didn't work out, he was no worse off.

"Promise," Bastian even held out his hand for Eggsy to shake. His hands were rough, but again, not in the same way Harry's hands were calloused. Harry's hands were smooth in some places and rough in others. Bastian's hand didn't linger, and he didn't seem to think twice about the contact even if Eggsy had just worried about being propositioned for a kind of service he wasn't interested in providing. Bastian glanced back to the door. "If you wanna get outta here, we gotta do it now. Everybody's asleep and it'll be dark for a couple more hours at least. C'mon, get up and pack your things." 

If Eggsy left with Bastian, then by morning the others would think he'd sneaked out by himself like he'd intended to do. 

Eggsy didn't have much to pack. He'd never had much in the way of belongings, but especially so now. He stuffed his dirty clothes into his pack and felt bad for a moment about how little he had to remind him of anyone important. He didn't have anything from his mum, or his dad. He didn't really have anything from Harry either. Everything was memories. The weight was all mental instead of physical. Perhaps it was for the best. Having nothing meant nobody could steal anything, and Eggsy had nothing to lose.

"Alright, I'm ready." Eggsy put on a brave face and turned toward Bastian. Leaving with the older boy was better. He now had a direction to travel in, rather than escaping back out onto the streets with nowhere to go.

"Ok, sport, follow me and keep quiet." 

Eggsy could only hope that Bastian's friendliness didn't diminish the moment he was handed over to these new people. He followed the older boy through the hall and down the steps, keeping to the wall to avoid creaking the stairs too much. They stopped for their coats and mittens and Eggsy counted it fortunate that he now had a hat. Bastian opened the door silently and didn't lock it behind him. Eggsy took that as a sign he'd have to go back, which was unsettling, the thought of being left alone with strangers even though Bastian was practically a stranger himself, but Eggsy supposedly slipping away in the night all by himself wouldn't work if Bastian was missing, too. 

"It's a bit of a walk, but not too far," Bastian waited for Eggsy to catch up before he led the way. "But still, Andrew and Jen don't know 'bout this place."

"Good. I don't want 'em to know." The less people who knew where he was, the better. If Harry managed to track down the place through Jamal, only Bastian would know where he'd gone. Harry could do all the spying he wanted and only find out that Eggsy had left in the middle of the night and disappeared onto the streets. Eggsy wondered, as they walked, just what these people could be delivering that would need a kid to do it without getting caught. Eggsy guessed that it was something illegal, like alcohol or drugs or guns. If people needed food or normal things delivered, they'd just hire a regular person. "These people, they really won't tell nobody where I am?"

Bastian shrugged. "So long as you don't put the business in any danger, they won't care. They gotta do things off the books as much as possible." 

If the older boy was telling the truth, it did seem like Eggsy could be a fit. Other kids had to go to school and be home when their parents wanted them. If they really did have a place for him to stay and they didn't mind.... Eggsy had been aware of some of the illegal activities that had taken place around the estates. Some of the older boys were even rumoured to be involved now and then, but he and most of his friends were far too young for it. 

Looking at Bastian, who dressed like Eggsy's friends, had the same kind of walk and the same kind of manner, Eggsy could kind of see the type. He had no idea how the older boy acted when he wasn't trying to strike a deal with a younger kid like Eggsy, whether that friendliness was fake or whether it was real, but he supposed it didn't matter as much as getting by. At least not yet. 

"Good." Eggsy didn't really care what he was delivering. Whatever it was, it couldn't be _that_ bad, and other people were asking for whatever it was anyways. All he cared about was that he got food, and someplace warm and dry to stay, and that they didn't tell anyone he was there. Eggsy could figure out anything else in time, but right then, survival and safety was of utmost importance. "I don't care what the business is, so long as I just do deliveries and they don't tell nobody where I'm at."

Bastian gave a short laugh. "If that's all you want, you'll do fine." 

They walked in silence for a while, turning through the streets once or twice. Eggsy didn't feel so exposed walking in the dark with his hat on, and not walking alone either. If he was going to be running deliveries, he supposed the only thing he'd have to worry about is being caught on camera and tracked back to wherever he'd be staying. But maybe he could use some of the tricks he'd thought up to avoid that. 

They wound up at the Tower Hamlets Council Estate, or so Eggsy saw from the sign at the street corner. It looked like a nice sign, but the buildings behind it were drab monoliths. At least the estate Eggsy had come from didn't look like a set of giant blocks looming over the snow filled yard. It was almost a little intimidating, but Bastian tugged at his sleeve and led him up the stairs. The older boy had a key to the gate, and they slipped inside the complex without trouble. 

Once again, Eggsy could relish the warmth. And a respite from the wind. Maybe even a bed too, although at that point Eggsy would have taken a floor so long as it was warm and had a roof. Beggars couldn't be choosers, and he was quite the beggar with how few options he had. Anyone Bastian was taking him to likely was involved in something illegal. The adults at the last home had implied that not reporting his residence to the authorities could get them in trouble, so it followed that anyone who didn't report Eggsy was already breaking the law in other ways. If they were doing other things that could get them in more trouble, they wouldn't care about how much might be added on by not informing the authorities of a kid in their care.

The same with deliveries. Eggsy already knew from hanging out with friends that younger kids got away with boosting and pickpocketing much easier than older kids. Shopkeepers and adults suspected older teens, but not younger kids. Eggsy would probably be carrying something that these people didn't want anyone to see. Maybe it was weapons, or drugs, or information. Eggsy didn't know, and truth be told he didn't care very much.

Bastian made sure he was following close. Eggsy got the sense the older boy wanted to reassure him everything would be ok, but didn't really know how to go about it. Talking in the dim halls, passing doors with murmured voices and telly channels playing behind them, would have been more awkward than comforting. There were stains along the carpeting although their path was at least free of rubbish. Finally, three stories up, Bastian stopped in front of a door and knocked. He looked down and gave Eggsy a smile before anyone had a chance to answer. 

When someone finally did, Eggsy had the urge to stand closer to Bastian even though it was a woman. Or girl, maybe. Taller than Bastian and with long dark hair and eyes that squinted at the pair before she spoke. "What you got here?" she asked, and Eggsy decided that she was definitely a girl still by the sound of her voice. She just looked older. 

Bastian's arm fell over Eggsy's shoulders. "New delivery boy," he said cheerfully, "now c'mon, don't make us talk in the hall."

Eggsy stayed close to Bastian as she waved them inside. He heard the door shut and bolt behind them. The room they were let into was dim, illuminated by the flickering light of a telly and a few small lamps. A rickety card table was set up in one corner, and an older teen boy was packing something wrapped in plastic into a box on one side of it. Notebooks littered the other side. The air had a smoky quality Eggsy readily recognized, one that was more acrid than the smell of tobacco. The empty glass bottles left on random surfaces were familiar enough from Michelle's more stressful days.

These sorts of people were the kind Eggsy had seen before, or so the boy thought. The scents and sights were all things he had seen back at the old complex, when he still lived with his mother. Eggsy kept his eyes on the woman who'd let them in and wondered if she ran the place or just was the person that answered the door. "Bastian says you let people stay here, s'long as they deliver stuff for you?"

She looked him up and down. "Normally yeah, but you're a little young, aren't you?" Her voice held a note of incredulity, but it was soft enough that Eggsy could sense her interest. 

"Says he's got nowhere to go back to," Bastian added. "I figure it's a fair deal, we don't tell anybody about him while he's here and he don't tell anybody 'bout us. Isn't that right, Eggsy?" 

Eggsy nodded emphatically and the girl's thin eyebrows raised. The teen boy in the corner glanced at them for a long moment before he went back to work. Now that he had someone to compare her to besides Bastian, who was obviously younger, he guessed she might be just out of school or nearly. 

"Eggsy, huh? My name's Vivian." She relaxed a little and leaned against the kitchen wall, pulling out a cigarette as though it might help her think. "You know how to get around by yourself? You wouldn't be scared or nothin'?"

"Nah, I ain't scared. Before stuff happened with my mum, I used to go all over the place by myself. The tube, the bus, just walk places, that kinda thing. I don't really care where I gotta go, so long as nobody finds out I'm here. And so long as I only deliver stuff." Eggsy didn't know what all they did there, but it stood to reason that people who liked boys might want something similar. Thinking about other people who might want to kiss him caused the ache to start up in his chest all over again. "You really won't tell nobody? That I'm here and all?"

Vivian pursed her lips, but shook her head. "Not if you pay us the same respect." 

She was chewing over the decision, and a moment's silence passed before Bastian spoke up again. "He showed up at the home. Was just gonna run off again anyway." 

Eggsy could only be thankful something about him must have led the two to suspect he'd be comfortable with the work because, slowly, Vivian nodded. He could only guess it was his sheer desperation. Or maybe the fact that the state of this flat didn't exactly surprise him, that he wasn't looking around with wide eyed awe. He supposed that was one thing he could thank his mother for and not Harry. 

"We'll try it out," Vivian said finally. "You can stay here for a bit an' if you do a couple runs ok, then you're in." 

"Ok," Eggsy readily agreed. He'd work hard to prove that he was valuable and that they'd want him to stick around. Eggsy was confident that deliveries wouldn't be a problem. If anything was tricky, it'd be making the deliveries while keeping away from the cameras enough that he wouldn't be tracked back by police _or_ Harry.

It wasn't like he was a captive, after all. If these people didn't work out, he could always choose to try his luck out on the streets again. He was back to squalor and poverty, but it was warm squalor that held the possibility of regular meals and a working lavatory. Eggsy was willing to give it a try. "Where... um, should I put my bag and stuff?"

Vivian glanced around before she nodded to an old armchair in the corner. "Over there. You can have the couch tonight, but when we got people over, you're gonna have to get outta the way." 

Bastian clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "I have to get back. Throw 'em off the trail and whatnot. Just do what Viv asks, ok? An' I'll be back tomorrow." Eggsy nodded before Bastian went into the kitchen to get something. Vivian turned from the wall to follow him and Eggsy heard their murmured voices. At least the other boy, who'd finished with his packing, didn't pay Eggsy any attention. He just sat down at the table and started jotting notes in one of the notebooks.

Eggsy watched the older boy with a bit of wariness, but when he was ignored, Eggsy relaxed a bit. He made his way over to the couch and cringed. The thing was threadbare and a bit stained in ways Eggsy didn't want to examine too closely. Eggsy put his bag down by one armrest and sat. He sank down quite a ways, but it was still softer than the floor. Judging from the stained carpet, it was also worth betting that it was cleaner than the floor too.

Eggsy settled against the armrest but didn't dare close his eyes. He watched the kitchen doorway and strained to hear and make sense of the noises he was overhearing, but none of them solidified into words.

Their conversation didn't last long, however. Bastian didn't look any different when he re-emerged from the kitchen and Eggsy heard the sound of the fridge door opening and bottles clinking behind him. The older boy came over to the couch and sat down beside him. 

"You gonna be ok here for the night?" Bastian asked, and Eggsy couldn't read in his face whether he'd be disappointed or not if Eggsy said no. Bastian hadn't seemed friendly when he'd first opened the door at Andrew's place, but his quiet gruffness had changed since then.

"Yeah." Eggsy wasn't sure, but the older boy didn't need to know that. He wanted to project an air of tough competence. Eggsy needed to prove himself valuable. These people wouldn't believe he was capable of running across London delivering things if he looked scared at sleeping in a new place. The boy squared his shoulders and tried to look casual. "I'll be ok. I've had worse. These people seem like they're alright, and I ain't gonna be freezin' outside. You're comin' back tomorrow, you said?"

Bastian nodded. "I will be." He reached out and clapped Eggsy on his back, right at the base of his neck, before Bastian stood again. 

Vivian finally came out of the kitchen and Bastian straightened to give her a mock solute. The boy seemed to be able to switch from dour to playful on a whim, or maybe he'd just been reserved like that at Andrew's house. Eggsy didn't know. Vivian had no reaction to it as Bastian shrugged on his coat again and left. 

She gave a long sigh when he was gone. "I catch you stealin' anything, you're out," she said. 

"You got nothin' I wanna steal," Eggsy countered. His mood had immediately soured at the warning. He guessed it made sense, him being a stranger and all, but threats hadn't been what he wanted his first exchanges with his new roommates to consist of. "And I don't wanna end up back out there. Don't matter what you've got."

Vivian nodded, unfazed by his retort. At least she didn't seem upset by it. "You can use the toilet when you need to. Coupl'a friends live here as well. Stay out of the rooms in back, and they won't mind you." She nodded once more, but this time it seemed to be to herself, like that was all she could think of to tell Eggsy, and with that she pushed off the wall and disappeared down the hall, leaving Eggsy alone in the sitting room. Or, nearly alone. 

The other boy spent another ten minutes chewing on the end of his pencil before he too got up and went to the room opposite the one Vivian had disappeared into, still ignoring Eggsy all the while. 

Eggsy gingerly laid down on the lumpy cushions and tried to relax. His ears focused on the sound of the wind and traffic outside. Eggsy kept expecting a wail of sirens, or perhaps the click of dress shoes as Harry and his friends broke down the door to take him away, but neither happened. The London night continued uninterrupted.

Eggsy's gaze drifted to the box and notebooks on the nearby card table. He was curious whether that was some of the things he'd be delivering. Vivian had said that he couldn't be caught stealing, but he wasn't planning on stealing, and she'd never said he couldn't _look_.

They were just sitting there. Nobody else was home. It was the middle of the night. ....and most importantly, Eggsy didn't think these people had the resources to be setting up hidden cameras all around their flat. 

He sat up and looked around. They hadn't even turned the lights off, but he supposed he was expected to do that for himself if he wanted them off. Careful not to creak the floor too much, he slid off the couch and glanced down the hall. Both bedroom doors were closed. Eggsy tiptoed up to the table and looked to see if any of the boxes or notebooks were labelled, but they weren't. All the notebooks held on their covers were numbers scratched into the upper right corners. 

Tentatively, using just the tips of his fingers, he opened one. It held a long table with uneven columns and tiny lettering. Each line consisted of dates, addresses, numbers, and weights listed in most often in grams. Eggsy wasn't sure what he expected, but he thought it would be a little clearer than that. It was obviously a record of whatever was in the boxes, and he could guess. 

Drugs. It had to be. Eggsy didn't know of anything else that was measured in grams. Drugs would explain the numbers too, if those were the amount of pounds paid in exchange, and why they needed special delivery people. It was the same as when Eggsy had hung out with older boys who wanted to do a bit of thievery. Having younger kids around made it easier, because no one suspected them, or people paid attention to them instead of the boys stuffing their pockets.

Eggsy had no use for drugs. He'd seen enough of what alcohol had done to his mother, or some of the people she'd brought home. Common alcohol could wreck lives, so Eggsy had no idea how badly what was in the boxes could mess someone up.

Maybe he should have felt guiltier about the fact that he'd be delivering drugs to people. He didn't. As far as Eggsy could see, he wasn't making anyone take drugs, or convincing them to choose them. All he would be doing was transporting stuff from place to place, and in return, he got to escape from Harry and whatever Harry was planning on doing to him.

With just as much care, he closed the notebook and left the rest alone. He glanced into the kitchen and wondered if they would let him eat there too, as part of the job, or whether he'd have to figure that out on his own. The pile of dishes in the sink didn't look like it had been touched in weeks, and Eggsy decided he didn't want to think about it. 

One by one, he found the lights and shut them off. Before the last, he found a small throw blanket on the floor behind one of the chairs and held it up. It looked old, but had no visible signs that anything was wrong with it, so he carried it back to the couch with him in the darkness. The small windows next to the door had curtains that had been taped shut to keep out cracks of light, and Eggsy had to feel where he was going. 

It wasn't that bad, he tried to tell himself as he laid down. He technically had a job now, and a place to stay.

Hopefully. Time would tell if these people were alright, and if they'd keep him around. And if Harry would sniff him out even here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting on this one, everyone. 
> 
> Come join us again this Saturday (2/27) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	33. Chapter 33

Eggsy must have fallen asleep at some point, because voices and the small noises of movement woke him out of a groggy darkness some time later. Eggsy cracked his eyes open and peered out from underneath the blanket. No one was sitting at the table in the den, but at least two people were in the kitchen, given that there were two voices. A small amount of sunlight had filtered into the room in pitiful streaks wherever it could sneak around the secured curtains.

Eggsy kept very still and tried to make out the words. He didn't think he could fall asleep again now that he knew they were there, but he also didn't want to make it known that he was awake just yet. One of the voices belonged to Vivian, and the other was male. Someone Eggsy hadn't heard yet. She wasn't talking as quietly as she had last night with Bastian, however, and Eggsy could make out most of it. They switched between going over how many shipments they could move in a day and talking about some girl Eggsy didn't know, but it sounded more like casual gossip than anything serious. He would have been worried if they were nervous, or if the conversation had been on him, but he guessed if he was involved in the work now, they would talk about him at some point or another. 

"We gotta get more carriers to rotate out," Vivian mumbled around a mouthful of something. From the crunch, it was probably cereal or some kind of granola. A second or two later Eggsy heard the familiar gurgle of a coffee machine. "Too many trips with the same face ain't good. If a customer is suspected, they start noticin' if the same kid pops up on the regular. They ain't entirely stupid."

"Yeah sure, but they don't gotta be all livin' with us, do they?" 

"If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out," Vivian said with more crunching. "And this one isn't asking for an income neither. But if we can get our weekly earnings up a bit, we might be able to afford to expand a little. None of you shitheads think about business, do you?" 

The male voice mumbled something in reply, but he was deferring to Viv. Eggsy could tell by the tone. The smell of fresh coffee permeated the air, and Eggsy's stomach growled. 

Both of them fell silent. Eggsy stayed still and kept his breathing measured. He could practically feel their gazes pass over him.

"...anyways, it ain't on you to decide. You got a problem, you can bring it up, but if it isn't causing a problem, don't throw a fuss 'bout it. Without an income, kids don't cost much"

Eggsy guessed the stranger must have shrugged, for after another minute there was the sound of utensils clattering and chairs being pushed back from the table. One of them went into the kitchen, but the other remained. And came closer. Eggsy felt a hand nudge his shoulder. 

"Up you get." It was Vivian, and when Eggsy opened his eyes he saw her looking down at him with tired eyes and dark hair in a mess around her face. "C'mon. Breakfast an' then I'll show you what you'll be doing for us."

Eggsy stretched and levered himself upright. He didn't want to argue. Getting in these people's good graces was the key to staying, and maybe to getting better treatment in the long run. If they were in the drug business they'd want to feel secure that he wasn't going to cause them any trouble. People got mad about the possibility of theft and lost money, but much more cautious and irritable about the risk of jail time.

"Deliverin' stuff, right?" Eggsy followed Vivian into the kitchen. The cereal box on the counter wasn't much, but he eagerly took a bowl when it was offered. "How many deliveries are we talkin'?"

"As many as you can. But we'll start out and see if you can manage five today," Vivian said, pouring him milk and cereal. She passed him a map of the city and already it had marked names and numbers on it. "If any authorities stop you, you get rid of that first thing. I'll want you to remember those addresses before long. Our customers' discretion is top priority an' you can't be carryin' a list of 'em around." She lifted up one of the boxes onto the table and opened it. "Everything along with a key to this building is already packaged up for you and labelled by the order of your stops. Don't mix them up and you'll be ok." Sure enough, she spread out plastic bags with numbers one through five. It was difficult to make out what was inside of them, but they all looked like they'd fit well enough inside Eggsy's backpack. 

"What if... um..." Five was more deliveries in one go than Eggsy had been counting on. It was doable, but he was nervous. He'd never done something like this before, and he was afraid of more than simply messing up. He was going to have to move fast to give Harry the runaround while he was out there. "They'll know I deliver stuff for people, right? What if they try to stop me and look at what else I'm carryin' after I drop off their stuff?"

"If you get anyone threatenin' you, then you come back an' tell us. We're not doin' business with anyone who don't pay." She sounded final on that. Eggsy only hoped she stood by that sentiment. "If you run into any trouble, you can call this number," she said, writing it down on the edge of one of the notebooks, "but you're going to have to memorize it now, and don't you dare call us from a police station, ok?" Even though she was older, she didn't look very imposing when she lowered her head and tried to look into his eyes to drive the point home. Harry had been able to do that with little more than a glance. 

"Yeah, I got it. I don't grass no one out. Not ever." Eggsy did his best to look determined. It helped that it was true. He couldn't say exactly _why_ he hadn't tried to turn Harry in. Harry had even said that they needed to be careful or he'd end up in jail. If only his one friend knew about things, then that might even be true.

Eggsy wasn't sure about that though. If Harry had had enough power to manipulate the courts in his favour once, he could probably do it again. If Harry wasn't around and those other spies thought he was too dangerous to be running around knowing stuff, they might capture him or try to kill him, just like the gangsters in movies. Even if he could hurt Harry back, Eggsy wasn't sure he wanted to. He was beyond angry, and he wanted Harry to cry and be sorry and have to pay for what he'd done, but the vision of him locked behind bars and getting beaten up by other criminals turned the boy's stomach.

If Eggsy couldn't turn on people who'd really hurt him, then people he didn't really care about at all were perfectly safe from getting ratted out.

Vivian nodded and it seemed like she believed him because she gathered up a few papers and went to turn on the telly. Eggsy saw that the couch would no longer be his during the day. He'd be out for a while regardless though, and he knew he couldn't linger after he'd finished breakfast. It was probably best he start early anyway, even though he had no idea how late he'd slept. 

He put the bowl away in the sink with the other dishes when he was finished and gathered up the map and the packages Vivian had left out for him before he went to find his backpack. Vivian only glanced his way when he exchanged his meagre belongings and left them in the corner, hopefully uninteresting to whoever might show up while he was gone. She turned to him as he was pulling on his coat and hat though. 

"You do well out there, Eggsy." Her voice held a touch of encouragement.

"Thanks. I'll be back once all this is done, alright?" Eggsy did his best to project confidence. Fear bubbled up, but that was understandable. He'd never done this before, and Harry still haunted the streets outside, seeking him with a million little electronic eyes. Eggsy tugged his hat a little lower.

Leaving the safe house wasn't as hard as leaving Harry's had been. Eggsy supposed that was in part due to the major difference between them - he didn't have an emotional attachment to this place or these people and, moreover, he would get to come back. He wasn't _safe_ there by any means, but he was safer than he was somewhere else.

Eggsy took back streets and kept his head down as he walked. All the deliveries would take longer from trying to avoid catching Harry's attention and getting traced back to where he was staying, but he'd get it done.

Harry rapped his knuckles against the peeling paint of the door several blocks north of India Dock Road. He could smell the Thames from there. The light breeze carried an acrid scent of oil from the shipping yards just south. Not so far from where he'd been the night before. Eggsy certainly had been getting around lately. 

He could hear feet stomping through the house before the lock clicked and the door finally opened to reveal a short young woman with bright pink hair and tension in her face. 

Harry kept his own expression reserved, but pleasant, as he held up a badge. "Good morning, ma'am. My name is DI Henderson, and I was wondering if you might be able to help me."

The woman's face slackened, but her brows remained knit. "Wot's it in regards to?" 

"A boy who might have come here the night prior, ten years old, named Garry, 'Eggsy', Unwin." Harry loosened his posture and met her eyes, conveying with every nonverbal detail he could muster his sincerity. "He's run away from a bad situation at home recently and has been trying to escape the authorities ever since." 

The woman tensed even as she tried not to. Harry didn't need to look very hard to know that she knew exactly who he was talking about. She had the look of someone trapped. No one liked getting the attention of the cops or anyone in the government. Even if she complied with what they were requesting, those sorts of people had a tendency to look around and find something that didn't measure up to some legal regulation, and then the house could get fines or even more trouble. "Gimme a moment. He was 'ere, but I ain't the person you want to be talkin' to. I'll go get 'im."

Harry blinked and had to physically restrain himself from stepping forward. _Was?_ But the woman was already moving down the hall and calling for someone named Andrew. Andrew Newbury, the owner of the residence, Harry knew from public records. He gripped the rusted metal railing and breathed until a small, lanky man came to replace the woman. 

"Andrew Newbury?" Harry straightened and held out his hand while the man's eyes widened at his full name. He shook, regardless. "The boy is no longer here?" Harry couldn't wait any longer. 

"Ran away sometime this morning, I'm afraid," Andrew said. There was worry in every line of his body. "We took him in yesterday. He asked that we not tell anyone he was there, and I didn't want to send him away again so I let him spend the night. We were going to notify the local authority, but I was going to have a conversation with him in the morning first. See if I could get him to change his mind, reassure him it would be safe. The things he told Jen..." 

Harry caught several sets of eyes peering at them from the bottom of the staircase, just over Andrew's shoulder. He watched their movements out of the corner of his eye. "He told you about his home life, then?" 

Andrew nodded. "A little, yes. He said he'd been with a man who'd abused him and that he was terrified to go to the police." 

Harry nodded in return, his expression grave. "We're aware of the situation, and I can assure you that we have every intention of putting the boy's wellbeing above all else. Were there any other children missing this morning? And when did you notice he was gone?"

"There wasn't anyone else gone. We asked the rest of the kids about it, but none of them had seen anything. The boy had kept to himself the previous night, during dinner and afterwards. He must have snuck out at some point in the early morning. He was gone by the time Jen and myself woke up." Andrew had the same wariness about him as he related this information to Harry. The shelter's paperwork was in order, but visits like these were why they were careful about who they took in and about doing everything by the book.

"I hope you find him. I'd tell you more if he'd told us anything about where he might be going, but he didn't. Something must have been going on, to make a child that paranoid, but the streets are no place for someone that young. He's going to end up getting picked up if he's out there too long."

"Would you mind if I spoke with the other children for a moment?" Harry asked. "If they can tell me anything that would be of use, even the smallest detail, it could be helpful." 

Andrew glanced away, but nodded and stepped back to let Harry in. After his eyes adjusted from the white of the snow and the sun, Harry saw two girls sitting on the staircase and a boy lingering at the top. Andrew went into the back of the house to fetch the others while Harry waited with a small, patient smile. Awkwardly, they gathered together at the bottom of the staircase before Harry stepped forward. 

"My name is Detective Inspector Henderson," he began, looking to each of them in turn, eyes lingering on an older blond boy who looked at him a little harder than the rest. "I know Eggsy expressed fears of going to the police while he was here, but we have no intention of putting him back in the situation he came from, and every intention of finding him and keeping him safe from further harm. Did he speak with any of you the night before, or this morning perhaps? Even in passing." 

The children exchanged glances. All of them had the same cautious air about them. These were kids that had all come from broken homes of some sort or another. They'd learned early on that people in authority weren't always to be trusted, and that the people charged with keeping them safe and helping them were at times the people they needed to run from.

"Sorry, he didn't really talk to us," one girl said. "He was sleepin' when we normally watch telly, and he didn't say much during dinner."

"We tried gettin' him to talk," another added. "He weren't very friendly though. Kept quiet. Didn't really answer questions much."

Harry nodded slowly and looked to each again before he lifted his eyes to the blond, but the boy spoke readily enough. "I answered the door when he showed up. He jus' told me his name was Eggsy an' that he'd called in earlier." 

Harry closed his eyes and nodded again before he turned to Andrew, slipping a card from his pocket. "Give me a call if you hear from him again or if you think of anything." 

"I will, certainly." Andrew clutched the card and Harry glanced around the house before he thanked the man and the children, and turned to leave. 

Back out on the street, Harry did not pause. "He slipped out this morning," he hissed under his breath as he made his way down the walk. "I just missed him." 

"I'm checking the footage. Not able to determine where he went yet, but he left with someone else. The cameras show a taller figure with him. Too short to be an adult, so it's likely one of the other children took him outside." Merlin's voice sounded distant in the earpiece, but Harry heard him clearly enough. "A boy, I'd guess from the haircut. I'll see if I can isolate a facial shot. Regardless, one of the people in that household knows more than they're telling. Perhaps they even know where he's gone next. Getting an address out of them will be quicker and more accurate than waiting for me to trace the camera feeds and try to guess the area he's in."

"I suspect I know who," Harry admitted, climbing into his car across the street to wait. He sighed and watched the mist of his breath curl against the window. "I'm going to follow the boy. I'd rather not go into this bullheaded if I can help it. If he's taken Eggsy somewhere else, I'd like to see what we're dealing with first." It would be all too easy though, to grab the boy as soon as he stepped out of the house. To pull him out of sight and make him tell Harry what he needed to know.... Unless Eggsy had moved on already, again. Word could get back to Eggsy that Harry had visited Andrew's place, but if Eggsy heard that Harry had also threatened another boy to find him.... Harry scowled and stared at the house. He needed to move and yet he had to resist. 

Time dragged on. The morning was early yet. Everyone in the household would be getting ready for their day, eating breakfast and getting dressed. A light flickered in the den, gathering at least some of the children for a lazy hour or two of telly programs. Some might stay inside, doing homework or enjoying the leisure time of the weekend.

Older children, however, felt the pressure of teenage years bearing down on them. They would want to escape the scrutiny and comments of the adults running the house, which meant that sooner or later they'd be outside. Harry only had to be patient and wait.

At long last, the front door opened and a figure slipped through before shutting it behind him. Harry recognized it as the oldest boy, exactly who he wanted to talk to.

Harry waited for him to pass and then got out of the car. The boy was still too young to drive yet, and odds were he didn't have the money to own a car besides, so Harry would either be following him on foot or they'd be catching the tube. With Merlin in his ear watching their progress, Harry could let the distance between them stretch enough that the boy had virtually no chance of noticing him even if he was wary of being followed. 

They didn't go far. After fifteen minutes of walking, Harry had a very good idea of where they'd end up, and he was right. Another council estate. Harry watched the boy open the outer gate while Merlin worked his way into the estate's video surveillance system and followed his progress from there until he disappeared into an apartment and didn't emerge again. 

When Harry had the number, he slipped into the building himself, picking the outer lock on the way and passing quietly through the halls until he could palm an audio receiver above the door before he was on his way again. The deja vu of this move at Michelle's door, years ago, struck him as he walked and he had to force his face calm. 

Merlin routed the audio to him almost instantaneously. Harry listened while he navigated away from the door towards a temporary hiding spot. He didn't know yet if he'd need to go knock on the door, or even break in. 

_"Oy, watch where you're sittin'. We're sortin' merch and it won't do to have you mussin' stuff up. You got here alight?"_

_"Yeah, 'right enough, but someone already came lookin' for the new kid I sent. Some DI bloke. Guess he wasn't lying about the bit of someone tryin' to track him down. Whoever gave him that address must've cracked."_

_"You sure it was jus' someone that talked? We need new delivery boys, but not if it's gonna bring cops down on our heads."_

Harry scowled. Eggsy had latched onto something he shouldn't have been involved in, and Harry had no idea how far it extended. Yet. "Who owns the lease to that flat?"

Merlin gave him the names and backgrounds of two teenagers, one who'd just finished school and one who'd dropped out. Both had been high risk cases due to their involvement with narcotics in the past, but mentally and physically capable of holding down jobs and so the council had let them in. The longer Harry listened, the more he began to realise that neither of the two people listed as the flat's leasers were in the room. If Eggsy was there, he wasn't saying anything. 

_"Relax. Nobody knows he's here. We see kids like that all the time. Sometimes a cop comes by, sometimes they don't. If it's a problem, you can get rid of him, but he's just one more kid disappearing. From the sound of it, his family is broke or dead. No one's gonna have the money to really swing a big search for him."_

_"That's a lotta assumptions. Kid was scared of someone lookin' for 'im, wasn't he?"_

_"Yeah, but that's common. They always think whoever did stuff to 'em is more powerful than they are. I've seen it all the time. Look, nobody's gonna follow him here or bust things. If he messes up his test runs, kick him out, but it's gonna be awhile before I can get you someone new to make up for it."_

Harry closed his eyes in the stairwell. His back hit the wall as he listened, hard concrete digging into his shoulders. "He'll be coming back," Harry said to Merlin, his voice quiet even though it didn't need to be. He didn't feel like he could speak much louder right now, not unless he was putting on another persona. "I can't let him stay here." The stairwell was quiet, even quieter than the hallways had been with the sounds of lives being lived behind every closed door. Harry's voice didn't echo, but he felt like it should have all the same. Eggsy was coming back. He'd be within reach for the first time in days, and yet Harry knew he didn't sound like a man who expected to win. 

Time crawled by. Eggsy must have left that morning for whatever errands these people had set for him. Harry had no idea what he'd been told to do, or when he'd be back, but the promise of his return kept him anchored to the spot and aching. He couldn't leave when he knew Eggsy would be there. He couldn't go elsewhere and wait for Merlin to tell him that the boy had walked back across a camera feed. Quick as he was, he might miss catching Eggsy again, and he couldn't let that happen.

The sun crossed the noon threshold and began to dip. Harry's stomach growled. He was used to stakeouts and the discomforts that went with them, but personal torment made the experience worse than merely tolerating hunger and thirst. Evening fell before the radio in his ear cracked and the connection came to life. "Harry. He's at the street corner heading for the building."

Harry straightened up from his seat on the lower stair. His heart began beating twice as fast and he adjusted his glasses. He wasted no time moving to the door to look out of the building and, sure enough, there Eggsy was, a small figure in the distance, but stark against the backdrop of snow on the lawn. His head was down and he was avoiding a path too close to the walk, no doubt where he expected there might be a camera. 

Harry had to smile. It was small and it hurt as it sat on his face, but Eggsy had still struck a chord of pride within him. Harry waited until he was sure Eggsy was heading for the right door and then slipped back around the corner. This would have to be fast. 

Eggsy never saw him coming. He was tired from a day of nonstop paranoia while traveling, looking for cameras and people following him everywhere he went, listening to the conversations around him in case people decided to call someone to report him. His pack was finally empty and he had been looking forward to getting back to safety and warmth and, if he was lucky, a bit of dinner.

A shadow darted out, clamping a gloved hand over his mouth and nose while an arm wrapped around him and yanked him off of his feet. Eggsy barely had time to process it and start to scream or struggle while he was pulled back into the dark.

"Shhhh..." Harry whispered into Eggsy's ear and closed the door of the maintenance room behind them as fast as he could. The boy was kicking and fighting in his arms all the way, but the room wasn't small, and it wasn't quiet either. There was a single florescent light on overhead and hulking HVAC equipment stood on either side of them as Harry dragged Eggsy as far as possible away from the door and knelt down, pinning Eggsy in his arms and trapping the boy's legs with his own. Harry pressed close and tried not to think about how wrong it felt that Eggsy was fighting him. Like he was fighting for his life. "I'm not going to hurt you. It's just me. Just Harry. You're ok."

Harry's reassurance didn't calm him down at all. If anything, the boy fought harder. There was a terror in the jerky attempted movements of his body. Eggsy tried to scream again, but it was muffled by Harry's palm and drowned out by the equipment in the room. 

Eggsy didn't believe that Harry wasn't going to hurt him. The boy was practically shaking in Harry's arms. 

Harry held tight. This wasn't working. He felt tears seep through the soft leather of his gloves and he pressed his head to Eggsy's even though the boy fought still. "Eggsy. _Please_." The whisper was too quiet. Harry barely heard it himself, but he was sure Eggsy must have felt it. "Don't fight me." 

The wail Eggsy let out through Harry's glove sank into his chest until he realised that he too was shaking. Harry let the boy breathe, but he didn't dare let go of his mouth. Eggsy had to tire soon. Harry would take him home. He'd tuck him into bed and explain everything. He'd say he was sorry and Eggsy would understand why he'd done everything he had.... He just had to hold on a little longer. 

Eggsy tried the oldest schoolyard trick in the book. Harry felt a slight pinch as teeth tried to reach his hand, closing instead on leather. When the bite failed Eggsy thrashed and tried to break free again, to kick Harry anywhere he could reach, _something_. Harry kept him still and helpless until he felt Eggsy grow progressively weaker and his rapid breathing became more pronounced. 

Harry waited until he was sure Eggsy had worn himself out. He relaxed his hold by degrees, not enough that he wouldn't be able to bear down the moment he felt Eggsy move, but enough not to hurt the boy. 

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I'm so, so sorry. I love you, Eggsy." But Eggsy hung limp in his arms. He breathed like an animal in shock. "If I take my hand away, will you speak to me?" Harry had to work past the knot in his own throat to force the words out, only now knowing they didn't want to come because he knew what Eggsy would say. 

Eggsy nodded. Even with that confirmation, it was a few moments before Harry dared take his hand away. By that time, Eggsy had accepted that any attempt to scream was futile. Harry wouldn't be so careless. He'd been dragged into a room where no one would see or hear them, and now he was completely at the older man's mercy.

"Let go of me. You got no right, you hurt my _mum_ , let go!"

Harry grit his teeth and nearly wrapped his hand around Eggsy's mouth again, but the boy's voice hadn't risen to a scream. Harry had to breathe for a moment before he spoke again. "I did." He felt Eggsy give another halfhearted jerk and held fast before the boy gave up again. "I know I did. I know how terrible that was." Harry searched for the words. There was no excuse and no explanation. He'd known that. He rested his chin on Eggsy's shoulder and let his eyes drift, remembering how Michelle had been in court, and how Eggsy had clung to him and spoke against her, and how sad he'd been to see her break down. He remembered all the times before that. Every time he'd watched Eggsy from afar. Had gone to his flat. Had picked him up after a carefully constructed fight between Michelle and Dean. He remembered how much he would have done for Eggsy then. "...I loved you. I wanted you and there was no other way. I was desperate."

"I can't believe nothin' you say. Everythin' was a lie, wasn't it?" Eggsy choked out. "All that stuff. You were watchin' me, and my mum. Bet you weren't even visitin' my neighbor, you just wanted to follow me around some more. Did you send Dean, too? To make things bad with my mum and scare me? _You bloody watched me in my room, doin' stuff._ The _bathroom._ I... I watched you _kill_ a bunch of people. I don't even know if they were bad guys or not. Maybe it doesn't _matter_."

Harry swallowed and held on. "Not everything was a lie... I never sent Dean. ....I did all the rest." He sounded broken. Eggsy was slipping through his fingers. It didn't matter that he held the boy in his arms, trapped at Harry's will. He was losing Eggsy. This wasn't the petulant anger of a child. This wasn't something he'd get over. This was a human being betrayed at every possible level, and Harry could not fix that. 

If he brought Eggsy home, Harry still couldn't fix that. The idea of it flashed through his mind--Eggsy on the couch, curled up away from him, Eggsy moving into the guest room, hating him, Eggsy doing everything he could to get away from Harry. Eggsy never trusting him again. Never loving him again.

Harry's breath caught in his throat. He didn't realise his own tears were falling until they hit Eggsy's shoulder. Harry closed his eyes and buried his face in the boy's neck, and felt him try to squirm away. Harry swallowed. "Go back to your mother. Don't get involved with these people. I won't follow you."

"Like hell you won't," Eggsy muttered. He jerked again, torn between anger and fear. It was so, so tempting to jerk his head backwards and clock the older man in the face, except that Eggsy didn't know what he'd do in return. "You'll just hurt my mum some more. You don't care unless you get what you want. For all I know, it's just the next setup. Cameras everywhere and playin' with me a bit until you get me crawlin' back, right? Come back to save me mum, or 'cause I'm too hungry or cold or summat. All I gots to do is pretend everything is like it was, like I don't know. You fuck me and I get taken care of, ain't that right? And nobody else gets hurt for interferin'."

"No, Eggsy. It's over," Harry sighed. "I'll remove Dean from your life and give your mother the opportunity to clean up, and that's it. You'll never hear from me again." Eggsy was not wrong about any of it. Harry could easily reel him in again by circumstance, but Eggsy would know now, and he would hate Harry for it. This was...the best Harry could do. "I'm letting you go." 

To prove his point, Harry slackened his hold on the boy, letting Eggsy, unsteady, out of his arms. 

Eggsy whipped around. Whatever softness had been there was gone. Nothing was left but the boy's fear of Harry, and his anger over what had been done. "You 'spect me to believe that? You follow me and do this stuff for years and you're just gonna let me go?" To Eggsy's mind, it was unlikely. This was simply one more trick, something to drop his guard. Harry would pretend to leave him alone for a bit while orchestrating something else to draw him back in.

"Not all of it was a lie, Eggsy." The look on the boy's face pierced through Harry. But he had to give Eggsy the opportunity to get out of there. Harry climbed to his feet and straightened his back and suddenly Eggsy was very small again even though the anger and determination was still written across his face. "I suppose only time will tell," Harry said, hoping that Eggsy would not continue to resist the opportunity just to spite Harry. Harry had taken all his other choices away; he'd like to give Eggsy something back. 

"Leave me and my mum alone," Eggsy warned, though he had no idea what he could do to actually enforce that warning. It was too hard to look directly at Harry. Eggsy didn't see a killer, or the person who had ruined his mother's life and manipulated him into his bed and into giving up his heart. Eggsy saw the man he still loved, who he'd woken up to countless times, who he never thought he'd be without. "If you actually cared? Just leave us alone. Don't hurt her to get to me, don't follow me with all the cameras and stuff and send people after me. Leave me _alone_."

Harry nodded. It was almost imperceptible, but he knew Eggsy would catch the movement. All his attention was attuned to Harry even if he wasn't looking directly. Giving his word would be pointless, Harry knew. That was the best he could do. He was crumbling inside, but he stood tall for Eggsy one last time and offered the boy a small smile, remembering that once Eggsy had loved the way Harry looked when he was confident and strong. Reassuring. 

With nothing left to say, nothing that Eggsy would believe, Harry stepped around him and went, one awful stride after another, to the door of the maintenance room and left without looking back.

Eggsy watched him go, barely daring to believe it. Harry leaving went counter to everything he knew about him. Harry had shadowed him forever, before he'd even known the man existed. He'd tracked him from the shadows even to the east side of London when he'd run away. Something had to be a trap. Harry wasn't the sort to stop or let go.

But he was leaving. Eggsy watched him open the door and walk away. Had he closed it, Eggsy would have been expecting an ambush on the other side, but Harry's footsteps grew more distant as he went.

Eggsy stood there for a long time, the shock still overriding his system and the machinery around him filling his head with white noise. When he did move again, he found no one waiting for him in the hall, nor outside, even when he went to the door and looked out over the frozen yard. There was no sign of Harry at all. 

Eggsy needed time to think. He still didn't know if it was a trap, but the thought that he could go back to his mother was a strong pull in the pit of his stomach. With blind steps he walked back to Vivian's flat. He'd finished his work. He had a place to stay for now. And he needed to decide if it was safe to see his mum again.

* * *

Harry made good on his last promise that night. Dean Baker didn't stand a chance against him in a dark alley. With a visit to the man's flat, a little packing, and a body that would never be found, Dean had as good as disappeared into the night. Murder would be suspected, Harry knew, but with the man's parole and the police watching his every move since he'd been out of prison, Dean doing a runner would be the likelier scenario in their books. 

The very next day Michelle received a letter in the mail from one of London's top rehabilitation clinics. 

Eggsy continued to do drug runs for Vivian and her companions. He didn't exactly get along with the others at that flat, but it kept a roof over his head and food in his belly. During one of his runs, he was close enough to his old neighbourhood that he took a bit of time to stop by and try to spy on how his mother was doing.

She was gone. On vacation, or something else. Eggsy climbed around back until he could peek in the window and found his room just as he'd left it, so he knew his mother still lived there, but she wasn't home. He finished up the remainder of his day with an ache in his chest.

A month and Eggsy had only gone back the once. Harry knew because he hadn't stopped watching. He'd done everything else Eggsy had asked but that. He hadn't intervened when Eggsy stayed with the teens and their little business. He wouldn't, but he wouldn't, _couldn't_ , let himself look away either. Eggsy had gone back to his old flat once. Harry had to believe that he would try again. 

He closed out of the Tower Hamlets feed and sat back, looking around his office in HQ. It was tasteful yet sparse in real belongings as it had ever been. Not even a photograph of their time vacationing in the summer remained. Merlin hadn't said anything when Harry had taken them down. Merlin knew why. And Merlin had kept him busy the past month. Harry dove into the work readily. He didn't care how many side projects Merlin thought up. He needed it. He was even beginning to enjoy it for himself, now. 

His friend was worried for him. Merlin didn't need to say it. Harry knew it was the case, tucked into the silences when nothing was said or Merlin gave him some other small mission or task to occupy his time. He knew how much Harry was watching Eggsy's feeds, and how he'd carefully put away all of the pictures and files associated with their time together. The guest room was practically sealed, capturing the time when the boy was living there and storing his things in the spare room.

It was one of those nights, when Harry was mulling things over, that his doorbell rang.

Harry set down the bit of scotch that remained in his glass and clicked on the feed to his door. He knew who it was, but it was habit to be prepared. More so now that Eggsy was gone. Fortunately, he was not wrong. Harry closed up his office and took the glass with him as he descended the stairs. He was sure he made an interesting sight in half his suit and slippers, glass in hand and looking very tired when he opened the door and gestured Merlin to come in out of the cold all in one motion smoothly fuelled by alcohol. "Scotch?" Harry asked by way of greeting. 

"Of course." Merlin stepped in and politely shut the door behind him. Harry knew he'd be looking over the place the moment he was inside. Cameras had already told him everything he needed to know long before he arrived, but Merlin was ever the one for detail. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything? It's been some time since I've seen you outside of headquarters."

"One of these days I'm going to show up at your doorstep, ready to drink my way through your cupboards for a change." Harry shot him a cheeky smile over his shoulder before he went into the kitchen for another glass. "But no, you're not interrupting anything but the musings of a soon to be old man." Harry came back out with his own glass refilled and offered Merlin the second. "And you are most welcome to do so." He led Merlin into the living room for a more comfortable atmosphere. 

"Not so old as all that," Merlin countered. "Unless you've falsified your birth certificate without my knowing. You seem to think that threatening my supplies is an intimidating promise, but I assure you, you're more than welcome to give it a try and I'll be impressed should you manage to actually drink your way through the lot."

"I'll consider that a challenge." Harry raised a toast and took the armchair closest to Merlin's. The couch felt too empty now. Harry leaned back and crossed his long legs at the ankles. "What do you have in store for us this week?" Harry asked as he'd begun to ask every time he saw Merlin in private recently and they were between projects. Eggsy's accusations hadn't miraculously gifted him a conscience in that area. 

"Simple humiliation this time, I'm afraid. One more unqualified member of upper society, complete with a padded resume and falsified references. Recently tried to start getting involved in politics. While it might be more amusing to let things play out a bit and take him down once he's further along in his attempts, I'm feeling a bit restless and impulsive." Merlin sipped at his scotch and watched Harry over the rim of his glass. 

Harry nodded and hummed. "Likewise." But Merlin already knew that. Harry needed to be out of the house more and more. Even though he reviewed the feeds nightly, and sometimes during the slow hours in his office, it wasn't like it had been when he knew Eggsy was waiting for him at home. Harry wanted more work. He wanted challenges. He wanted to submerge himself in something else he could enjoy for a few hours at a time at the very least. He hadn't left the country on a job in a while, but he would be itching to soon enough. Spending time in the gym was sometimes glorious now and sometimes awful. He preferred a real fight. And he wasn't getting enough of them. Harry turned to look at Merlin, all stillness and reservation, but Harry could see the strength in his shoulders and he remembered how fast the other man could be. "We should spar sometime." The words were out of Harry's mouth before he decided it was a good idea. 

"Now is sometime," Merlin pointed out, not without a touch of softness. He was worried. Other members of Kingsman had noticed Harry's tension, if not the cause. Merlin had watched his friend become more and more wound up to the point of carelessness. Harry was so keen for a distraction from his thoughts and the pain of the empty space in his house and his arms that he was approaching something akin to a death wish.

That was something Merlin wouldn't permit. Harry felt a sort of possessive protection where Eggsy was concerned, and Merlin had...something similar. He had no tendency for making friends, and Harry was something more than one. "Feeling restless? The last mission wasn't enough for you?"

Harry's mouth spread into a smile. "No, it wasn't." Harry glanced around the room and then back at Merlin. He made the decision and rose to his feet. "C'mon then. Let's go get bloody. It'll be worth it, and I can promise you just as much scotch will be waiting for us back at my office at HQ." Harry's grin was back and his steps were quick as he went to find his coat, but his mind still wasn't clear. He was looking forward to changing that for a few brief hours. He knew he could never repay Merlin for what the man was doing for him. Even if Harry began to invest more and more of his time in Merlin's indulgences. It would never be quite enough. 

Merlin didn't seem to mind, strangely. Harry thought he knew why. The man had all but confirmed it. He didn't have Eggsy's fawning air about him, but he was like Harry himself in his affections - following every move, watching from a distance, extending a helping hand as needed. "I wouldn't agree to this with anyone but you, you know. Coaching and training the occasional recruits tends to be quite enough."

Harry turned from the hall, a touch of fondness in his grin, and handed Merlin his coat. "I know. And I won't tell a soul." That was another thing Harry knew only he was allowed--touching Merlin's things. It was a closeness he welcomed at times when he was feeling this restless, when closeness was sparse otherwise. 

They were out the door and on their way back to HQ in no time. Any other office it would have seemed odd that Harry began spending so much time there very suddenly, and that Merlin always had, but at Kingsman it was barely noticed. Not when the knights working rigorous research missions practically lived there along with the tech department. 

The tram ride passed in amiable quiet. Both men were content in each other's company. Merlin shot Harry a cryptic look now and again, but equally often turned away towards the laptop he kept on his person. Merlin's work never truly ended. Or perhaps, like Harry now felt, there was no particular need to stop the overflow of work into his personal life.

They left the arrival platform and no one spared them a second glance. Not for being there, nor for arriving together. Everyone at HQ had their own tasks to perform and places to be. Security staff would note their arrival, but little more unless Arthur had a specific reason to want their movements tracked.

Arthur's little task for Merlin to keep tabs on Harry, what seemed like so long ago now, was even a decent explanation should anyone guess why the two spent more time together. After all, they had been comfortable enough with each other in their working environment beforehand. 

Fortunately there were not many people in the gym when they arrived to change, and the sparring rooms adjacent needn't have been reserved for their use. Harry was used to a fair amount of alcohol in his system, even before his life had turned upside down, and so the buzz of the scotch felt pleasant in his limbs as he stripped into more comfortable clothes in the locker room. He was looking forward to a thorough workout, already missing the rush of adrenaline, a necessary protein shake after, and then a good dose more alcohol to top off the night. 

Merlin met him in one of the rooms. The chambers had been well-padded to facilitate their use in training. Merlin had brought any number of recruits down to similar rooms to demonstrate their skills, or lack thereof. Quite a few had landed themselves a personal beating from the man for particular failures, but none of them had ever been the focus of the peculiar sort of smile Merlin flashed at Harry. 

The Scot wasn't one to smile on the whole, and this was downright anticipatory. "Are you certain you're up for this?"

Harry laughed, letting himself loosen up. "Does it matter?" 

If Merlin was going to enjoy this, Harry had a feeling that he would as well. He needed someone who wanted to fight with him. Who would _like_ it. Who would come back for more no matter which of them won. And perhaps he'd grown to enjoy indulging Merlin a little, too. Although truth be told, he couldn't tell which of them he was indulging here. 

They went through their stretches and then moved to the centre of the room. Merlin's eyes still smiled at him even as they got down into position, and Harry knew it reflected in his own face. His blood was singing for the fight. 

Merlin was quick. Harry knew that from their missions together, the few times Merlin had been directly and physically involved rather than offering remote support. He didn't have the strength of a full field agent, but he didn't need it if he was quick enough. Merlin began to test Harry with jabs and thrusts, all easily parried, but Harry felt the weight of scotch in his limbs. He wasn't careless, but he was a fraction slower than he normally was.

They were feeling each other out. Harry could tell. It was a kind of fighting he recognized, far more commonly so in sparring practices. It was a process he enjoyed nevertheless. One that should not be rushed through with Merlin. 

Harry noticed right away that they had a tendency to get close and then spring away again, and that gave him some insight as to how the match would turn out if not who would win. Harry was excellent at a distance with his long legs and arms, but Merlin was equally matched in that area, and so, following the strange momentum of this fight, Harry moved in closer. It meant he needed to move faster to deflect Merlin's hand and elbows, to spin out of the way and come back himself, but he enjoyed the idea of forcing Merlin back farther and farther. 

Merlin had to back up to keep holding his own, and ended up taking them in circles. He couldn't match Harry in direct power, but he made up for it in technique. Merlin parried and grabbed, doing his best to throw Harry off balance or ruin his form in order to take advantage of gaps in his defence. He caught Harry by surprise once, and the impact against Harry's ribs was enough to sting. Merlin tried to follow through, got blocked by a flurry of counter strikes, and was forced into backing off once again. He didn't bother to hide a small grin. 

"That's more like it." Harry grinned back. With Merlin's natural stoicism cracking, it was easy to let himself get into the moment and take a certain kind of high from it. 

Harry rushed in, made it look like he was throwing caution to the wind, lifted his right arm to make it seem like he was about to strike, or set up a false strike and land the real blow with his knee instead, but he dropped at the last moment and swung around Merlin just as the other man realised that he wasn't going to strike at all, just as Merlin was turning to jump away from whatever Harry was doing, but it was too late. Harry got his arms under Merlin's shoulders and took them down to the floor. 

Merlin instinctively rolled, and the fight transformed from vertical to horizontal. Each of them tried to use their leverage to turn them until they gained a superior angle. Hands grappled, pulled on cloth, clenched into fists or sharp angles and tried to find a bit of vulnerable flesh. Merlin was very skilled, else Harry would have won in a matter of seconds, but it was a losing battle. Harry had power and experience on his side.

A hand snapped up and Harry felt fingers close around his neck before he struck the limb away. Nails raked skin in the process.

Harry was laughing before he knew it. This wasn't something he'd experienced for a long time, and he certainly wasn't laughing at Merlin; it was pure _delight_. The moment Merlin looked at him with that tiny smile, he'd known this was going to be good. The scrabble, the elbow to his ribs, blunt nails slicing down the back of his arm...it felt good. There was delight in Merlin's eyes, too. Harry saw it even when they rolled again and Merlin was underneath him. He was almost loathe to let this end. 

Harry got a little too close, a little too confident. He saw what was going to happen a split second too late to prevent it. Merlin twisted and arched right as Harry leaned down while securing his hands, and their foreheads collided. During the burst of light that followed, one leg snaked around his own and the world turned again. Harry moved to block and grapple before his vision had cleared enough to see the movements. The first thing Harry spotted was a pleased grin set into a mouth lacking any of its normal stoic reserve.

"Enjoying this, are you?" Harry asked, trying to move and realising he was pinned. Also that he was still grinning himself, that the blood was still singing in his veins and the high of the fight was not yet gone. He wanted it to go on. He wanted to drown himself in it. He wanted never to tire. So with a shift of his weight to create space, he wrenched one hand free and forced Merlin to catch it or risk losing Harry.

Merlin made a grab for Harry's wrist, and the movement broke the pin. The struggle changed, Harry trying to turn them or break free long enough to land a strike, and Merlin attempting to stay on top and get Harry pinned again. "'course I am. Recruits are no fun to beat."

Merlin was forced to use his weight until the back of Harry's head finally hit the mat and his limbs slackened. He was being ridiculous at that point, not admitting defeat, but Merlin was still enjoying it all the same. A quiet chuckle bubbled up in Harry's throat again. He tried not to let himself wonder if this was how Eggsy felt when he'd been beaten in their wrestling games. It flitted in and out of his mind just as quickly, replaced by Merlin's smirking mouth and shining eyes. Harry just let himself breathe. "You win."

"Oh I do, do I? You seemed so certain for a while there." Merlin took the opportunity to admire the unfamiliar view. Harry was relaxed just then, but that didn't mean he would remain that way. Relaxing in turn most likely would mean finding himself pinned and admitting defeat. "Do I win anything in particular beyond bragging rights that I've taken down a knight?"

"Probably a new job title, should you want it." Harry's shoulders shook as he chuckled. Still relaxed, he shifted only a little and felt Merlin's grip tighten. He wasn't getting out of this unless he was willing to do real damage. "What would you like?" There was an intensity to Merlin's stare, and even pinned like that, Merlin's weight was not painful. Harry hadn't minded the pain before. He'd enjoyed it in their fight just as much as letting out his own aggression. That was slightly unusual for him, but he'd rather not think on the reasons why he now felt it was fitting.

Merlin's reaction was slow, and not entirely unlike that of a raptor. His sharp features only made the comparison to such birds even more apt as his head dipped slightly and his eyes narrowed. "I... am not entirely certain. I hadn't come to a conclusion yet."

Just as slow was the realization of exactly how they were positioned. Merlin had pinned others during training in this same exact manner hundreds of times before, and he'd never thought anything of it because it meant nothing to him. It signified nothing, brought no emotions or sensations beyond the vicious satisfaction of watching his opponent cringe in defeat. Harry wasn't so distantly removed from his psyche. Merlin had grown close to him over many, many months. He'd watched Harry's escapades in the field, in his own private projects, and in bed with Eggsy. Merlin froze.

It was a new look on him. Harry couldn't help the way his smile pulled a little wider to see it. Carefully and slowly, he extracted his arm from Merlin's grip--a feat that would not have been so easy five seconds ago--and lifted it to Merlin's face. Harry didn't rightly know if the other man would allow it, but then it happened. The pads of his fingertips rested against Merlin's temple, and still Merlin didn't move. 

Harry knew his own eyes were alight with amusement. "How about we get a drink? You look like you could use one nearly as much as I."

Merlin didn't answer. It was very possible that he _couldn't_. Harry had never seen him so uncertain and openly conflicted. More remarkable yet was that he didn't immediately remove Harry's touch - a man so known for his inviolate privacy and territorial sensibilities that other employees didn't so much as bother to ask if they could borrow a pen. Merlin finally inclined his head and shifted his weight until he was no longer settled atop Harry. He stood, breaking the contact, and after a moment held out a hand to assist Harry up. "A drink could do us both good. Neither of us have been ourselves, I think."

Harry took the hand and climbed to his feet. "True," he sighed, "very true." Harry squeezed Merlin's shoulder as he went to the door, another gesture Merlin wouldn't have accepted from anyone else, but one that was meant, this time, to reassure the man that his presence was not a discomfort to Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in here with us, everyone. I'm really going to try to respond to comments this week. We appreciate all of them and I've been sorry to let you guys down for so long. (Piper)
> 
> Come join us again this Saturday (3/5) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	34. Chapter 34

Harry grabbed a towel on his way back to the locker room and doused his face in cool water before he changed. Showering came a far second to the call of the drinks cabinet in his office, and so he did the bare minimum of making himself presentable again before he pulled on his suit. 

Merlin met him out in the hallway. He had to be unnerved. Merlin had a habit of watching everyone, as was usual for personnel in the intelligence department, but this was different. Less idle observation and more concerted scrutiny. He held back from Harry as if he wasn't certain whether they were about to have another round of sparring right there in the hall. Harry ended up leading the way with his friend keeping pace behind and the pressure of Merlin’s stare boring between his shoulder blades.

Harry opened his office door and stepped aside to hold it there. Merlin crossed the threshold, strangely tense for how often they'd done this before. Celebratory drinks, or even a small chat, weren't anything unusual between the knights and their handlers and support crew. Merlin had been invited in countless times before, but that had been prior to the current state of things.

Harry couldn't keep the small smile off his face as he took out two tumblers and poured several fingers of scotch from the cabinet into each. Apparently this was how one made Merlin uncomfortable. He could have taken the seat behind his desk and put some space between them to give his friend a bit of relief, but Harry didn't want this to be formal. He just wanted to get drunk. If he didn't know it would be so unusual for him, he'd have forgone putting the suit back on altogether before they came back up here, and that was saying something. 

Harry took a seat at the edge of his desk and handed Merlin the other glass. "Thank you for distracting me tonight."

"It was my pleasure. It isn't often that I get a chance to spar with someone I actually enjoy fighting. Lancelot ruins it because he's insufferable afterwards." Merlin accepted the glass. The amber liquid within it gave him something to focus on that wasn't his friend, perched upon the edge of his desk, nor the familiar contents of the office that offered no excuse for a sudden interest in inspecting them. "Things have been very hard on you. A distraction to take a bit of the burden off of your shoulders is the least I can offer, and better than your foolhardy acquiescence to every dangerous mission that comes this way. "

Harry snorted softly into his drink before he drained it and reached for the bottle again. This time he let his head fall back and his eyes close before he took another drink. Too fast and it would do him no good. He needed a minute to relax and clear his head of the thoughts that would take any opportunity to creep in on the edges of his mind. Harry found himself consciously shying away from them at times like this. And Merlin was still standing there even though there were several comfortable leather chairs in Harry's office. 

"I appreciate what you're doing for me," Harry said without opening his eyes. "But please, Merlin, sit down and relax. I'm not going to jump you." 

Harry couldn't parse the look Merlin gave him in return. It wasn't dispassionate, the same flat expression he gave everyone else, but it wasn't like any of the countless marks Harry had tangled with over the years. The Scotsman was practiced at hiding what he thought and felt from others which, when combined with his introversion and nettley humour, contributed to how the others avoided his presence. After a long moment, Merlin settled into one of the chairs. Harry didn't miss the flicker of irritation in his face when he found himself shorter than Harry's more elevated perch. "I should hope not, or we're going to have another round of sparring and make a wreck of your office."

Finally Harry took another sip. _'Would we?'_ was at the very tip of his tongue, but instead he let himself savour the scotch. Imagining that was not outside of the realm of possibility, but Harry didn’t want a real fight on his hands nor did he want the task of cleaning up his office. Their sparring had been a very convenient release already, and he would like to be able to do this again.

"He's going to go back to his mother soon," Harry said because he knew how awful it would be if he repeated another 'I miss him', words that Merlin had heard a hundred times already from Harry in various states of breakdown. He also said it because it was true. "He'll be curious now that he's missed her once."

"But enough to stay? You've seen the state she's in." Michelle was in no condition to be caring for anyone. Eggsy would find a flat littered with empty bottles and the sick miasma of someone who'd mostly given up on life in reaction to too much pain. "She still cannot legally have custody and won't be able to convince any judge she's fit for it, even if we press things along. She may not even be able to keep a roof over her own head. She's an alcohol-fuelled migraine, at this point, not a caretaker."

Harry frowned and took another long sip of his glass. "We'll see what happens when she's out of rehab. That might be enough of a pull to bring him back to her. I can only hope...." Harry's expression turned sour. "If that happens, I have no intention of involving the courts to give her back custody. I'll see to it they never know he's left my guardianship, even if he changes schools. I do not want to go through all that again, and there's a very good chance he'll tell her what happened."

"Not as good as you might think. Not a negligible chance, of course, but consider the history he had with his mother. From what I know and have observed when he talked about her, trust isn't there," Merlin pointed out. "He didn't trust her with smaller personal matters, or larger ones where her reactions might put him at risk. She's already betrayed his trust in the past, and he has reason to be wary of her substance abuse. I don't think it as likely that he'll confide sensitive information that leaves him feeling even more vulnerable to an adult he's not trusted in the past right after he feels betrayed by one he so explicitly and completely did trust. I find it more likely he'll become secretive and self-protective."

Harry turned that over in his mind as he swirled the scotch in his hand. He knew to trust in Merlin's opinion, and when Harry himself was so close to the situation, expecting Eggsy's disillusionment with him to trump all else.... 

"I don't want to leave him without options." Harry ran a hand over his face. The truth was that Eggsy needed to find something for himself, something that no one else could take away. Something that for most children was their parents. If he didn't have Harry and he didn't have his mother, then it was no wonder he'd remained in the situation he was in. He still didn't trust Harry enough to let him go, and he hadn't gone back to the group home for children. 

"He doesn't feel he has any. He's not going to take your word that you've given him options. Or, for that matter, to want to accept any gestures from you at this point. Even if his mother wasn't a verifiable train-wreck right this moment, he'd likely be suspicious that it was some sort of entrapment. We've guided so many circumstances in his life that he'll only trust what he finds and chooses for himself."

Harry closed his eyes. "I can only give him the chance to go back to a better life with his mother. And pray he takes it." Even if Eggsy never really trusted her again, it would be better than this. He needed to go back to school. How many times Harry had thought of picking him up off the street, kicking and screaming, and sending him off to boarding school regardless of how he felt about the situation. He knew Eggsy would be gone the very next day. Eggsy may have been a child, but he still had to want this.

Merlin looked at Harry and stayed quiet. He knew that Harry had told Eggsy to go back to his mother. He also knew that Eggsy would be unlikely to do so given that Harry had told him to do it. "You have to be prepared for every possibility. Including the one where Eggsy stays on his current path and decides to live on the streets, or through illegal activities."

Harry's nose wrinkled. "How can I be prepared for that? In every scenario I ever envisioned of this going wrong, not one involved leaving him homeless to fend for himself." There was a sink hole in the pit of his chest again, and Harry shook himself and took another drink to fight it off. He offered the bottle to Merlin, a not so subtle hint that Harry wanted him to keep up. Or try. 

Merlin accepted, refilling his glass before passing the bottle back. "You should have. Not of your own intention, but out of mindfulness that the boy might reject any help you cared to offer. That doesn't mean that you have to abandon him. It only means that if you choose to offer him alternative paths, you need to be more subtle about it instead of offering outright."

Harry rubbed his temple and nodded. Michelle had always been his first thought in a scenario where Eggsy hated him. Perhaps he'd idealised a mother's love more than he'd thought. 

"That's the only viable avenue I have left," Harry agreed with a great sigh. He decided it was time to move on before his wallowing took hold in a truly embarrassing way, which Merlin had put up with on too many nights already. He gave his friend a sad attempt at a smile. "Don't suppose you'd like to talk about that humiliation case while we have the time, would you?" Harry made a concerted effort of adjusting his attention. It always helped to know these things would serve as another distraction. Sometimes even an enjoyable one. 

Merlin was quiet for a second too long, thoughtfully considering his friend over the rim of his glass. "I think, perhaps, that you've deflected for too long rather than deal with things directly. Unless you have no intention of ever dealing with things, in which case I won't keep you from necessary distractions. I simply don't think your focus is going to be truly dedicated to what I'm talking about, and I prefer not to waste time and breath with an uninterested audience."

Harry wanted to lay down on his desk. He gave a short laugh that didn't sound much like a laugh at all. "Are you cutting me off?" He set his glass down on the smooth varnish and turned it, the edges familiar against his fingertips. "You just said it yourself--there's not much I can do but give him the smallest, subtlest opportunities and hope he takes them. What else is left to me but distraction?"

"Fulfilment wherever else you can get it, instead of trapping yourself in futile attempts to escape," Merlin pointed out quietly. Harry couldn't recall ever seeing such an expression of concern on the man's face before. He wasn't prone to overt sentimentality or empathy, and yet he was watching Harry like he was afraid his friend would begin to crumble in front of him. "I'll help you with distraction if you must, but you have to let yourself mourn. It will break through eventually, and at the worst possible moment, if you keep suppressing everything."

Harry knew his mouth was hanging slightly open and he shut it. "I... I'm not ready to mourn yet." He turned his head to look away. "It doesn't make a difference. Every morning I wake up, alone, and I mourn. And the next morning I go through it all again. I don't think it's going to progress any time soon." Harry shook his head and drank again. Merlin's gaze ate into him. It was so rare that Harry wished he had something else to say just for Merlin's sake alone, but there was nothing he could do. 

"You don't need it to _progress_ and cease anytime soon. Putting it off will make things worse, however." Merlin took another drink out of his glass and measured his words while the alcohol burned across his tongue. Delicacy wasn't his strong suit, but Harry was quite vulnerable enough without a wrong word slipping between his ribs to bleed him out. "You're going to mourn for some time. But you need to _do_ it. Perhaps Eggsy will come back to you someday, or understand what happened and forgive you. Perhaps he won't. Regardless, he's not coming back _now_ , and if you live as if he'll be back home at any moment, you're going to break yourself more than you already have."

Harry was sure his face went through several expressions. "I understand that he's gone, Merlin; I wouldn't be in this predicament otherwise. It's just that it won't _sink in_ and I can't just...." He brought himself up short. Merlin was wearing one of the gravest expressions Harry had seen on him in years. "You think I should stop watching him, don't you?" His breath was shaky at the last. The very thought of it made breathing difficult. 

"I think it would be easier on you to take a break," Merlin ventured with no small amount of caution. Harry was far more emotional and expressive than he was used to seeing, and it made him nervous. "I'm not suggesting abandonment, or leaving him in danger. If you want me to keep track of things, I can inform you if I think some... interference is in order. But if you're asking me what I think would be wisest for you? I would suggest giving yourself space."

Harry put a hand to his forehead and tried not to think about just how awful that was to hear. He knew why Merlin was suggesting this, it was painfully obvious, but it still gutted him. 

"I don't know if I can, yet." Harry swallowed. "Just.... A little while longer. And then maybe, I can.... If you keep tabs on him, it would help. But...just a little while longer." Harry looked up at his friend again and he knew he must have looked every bit as terrible as he felt. He wasn't trying to hide it any longer.

"A while longer, but I won't permit you to let that while stretch on into forever," Merlin cautioned. "Or to throw your life away by risking yourself carelessly and take on all the most dangerous missions. I won't give you a choice, but you might as well consider the boy's feelings on the matter if he comes back to find you gone, if you put no stock or weight into my feelings about it. You cannot continue to help him if you lose yourself."

Harry looked away again. It wasn't a dismissal; he just couldn't look at Merlin anymore. But he nodded after a minute of silence. The lump in his throat was too large to speak. 

Harry poured himself another glass and handed the bottle to Merlin. He stared at the liquid for a long time, watching it slide back and forth and knowing that the quiet was just for him. Merlin would do it. Harry knew he would. Harry gave a sigh and took another long pull from his glass. It was going to be a long night. 

"You're upset." It wasn't a question. Merlin knew very well that Harry was upset, and why. Perhaps he even had some notion of how deeply Harry's feelings ran, if not a true understanding of what it felt like. However much Harry avoided looking at him, he could feel Merlin's eyes on him. "Are you wanting to do something about that, beyond drinking and ignoring the fact that I'm here? Or shall I go and leave you to your ruminations?"

"No. Stay. Just...sit with me. Unless you have a better suggestion." Harry tried to force a little more life into his face. It was difficult in front of Merlin, although strangely not so in the field. Harry had begun to wonder if his masks weren't somehow strengthened by a wish to escape what he was actually feeling most of the time these days. 

Merlin went still. That in itself wasn't strange except for how complete it was. The man seemed to stop breathing, and when Harry glanced at him, Merlin's gaze was fixed on anywhere and anything but Harry himself. Eventually Merlin cleared his throat. "No. No, I don't think I have a better suggestion. Possibly worse ones, but not better ones."

Harry watched Merlin and took another sip of his glass. It was strange how still he felt now, more still even than Merlin looked because Harry could almost sense the pulse in the other man's veins. Harry felt untouchable in a way that seemed more like being dead than alive. "Spar with me again tomorrow. When I'm sober." The opportunity to ask was there, and Harry took it. He probably should have thought twice after Merlin had become uncomfortable after their first match, but Harry couldn't find it in himself to care. 

"As often as you want, so long as it makes you feel better and takes your mind off of things." That wasn't the only reason. Harry knew Merlin well after so many years. He'd seen the sort of vicious joy the man had had when he'd landed a few blows, or once he'd gotten Harry pinned to the ground. Everything before the atmosphere had shifted and unease had taken over. More was in play than mere sadistic impulses or uncharacteristic displays of compassion. They both knew it, and it passed unsaid between the two of them.

Harry allowed himself a wry smile and took another drink. 

They sat like that all night finishing off the bottle, and then moving on to the vodka. Harry was half tempted to spend the night in his quarters at HQ even though he had the following day off. The spot underneath his desk was looking just as appealing by the time Merlin decided to call it and put the bottle back. That was probably one of the reasons Merlin had shown up on his doorstep, Harry mused. Worrying about not seeing him the next day. Worried how Harry would be alone. 

"Time to get you back home," Merlin said. Perhaps Harry was imagining things, but his Scottish drawl seemed thicker after so much alcohol, stripping away all the careful standardized enunciation and revealing patterns ingrained from childhood. "Before you dry out your office stash and start raidin' the offices of other agents. They might stop and question you, an' we cannae be havin' that. You don't have much in the way of senses to begin with, and you might run your mouth unwisely now that you've lost most of the rest."

Harry chuckled and wrapped an arm around Merlin's back, letting the other man take some of his weight and attempting to do the same in return if Merlin swayed too far in his direction. "The things I might say. Dreadful." Harry hadn't anticipated he would need the support for any longer than it took to right himself from his desk and cross the room, but he was wrong. A couple of techs looked at them askance while passing in the hall and Harry did have the urge to say something mildly offensive along the way, thus coming dangerously close to proving Merlin right. 

Harry was very grateful for the train, and hopefully soon, a cab home. 

Both of them swayed in their seats while the train clacked over the tracks back towards London. The speed of it made it difficult to think about anything but staying upright, awake, and as little nauseated as possible. When the train jerked to a halt underneath the tailor shop, both men struggled to get back to their feet. They used one another for support all the way up the lift and out onto the street, where the night time chill and damp revived a bit of their senses.

Harry could see his breath as he looked up at the night sky. Not that he could see the stars in the centre of the city like that, but it still felt good. They walked down the street and hailed a cab coming their way. "Is this where I send you off or are you crashing on my couch tonight?" Harry asked, a little surprised at how the simple act of being in fresh air and bitter cold made him feel a little better.

"Will you be alright by yourself, or do you need company to keep from doing something idiotic?" Merlin could imagine a good many things, from Harry deciding to have a few more drinks and passing out in a dangerous position, up to him traveling to the other side of London to darken Eggsy's doorstep. Either was possible. Harry didn't always have the best record for avoiding self-destructive actions. Merlin wanted to rest, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to if he thought his friend was going to do something foolish while he was too far away to stop him in time.

Harry turned to face the other man, his attention wavering before it could focus on Merlin's face. Fortunately Harry's feet did not similarly drift away from him. "I'll be alright. I have no plans to do anything more reckless tonight." Harry moved his hand up to Merlin's shoulder for better stability as the cab stopped in front of them and waited. "I'd really just like to be unconscious for a while," Harry admitted.

Merlin gave Harry the exact look that Harry had seen directed at recruits dozens of times. It was a narrowed, suspicious thing, all calculation about the probabilities that the recipient was lying and planning something, and how disastrous the fallout might happen to be. After a few moments, he seemed to be satisfied. Merlin nodded and wavered on his feet as the ground spun underneath him. "I'm going home, then. Get some rest, and I'll see you again tomorrow."

Harry nodded and couldn't help grinning at being the recipient of that look. "Alright." 

Harry opened the cab door and with some awkwardness, they climbed inside one after another. Neither of them lived far away and neither of them particularly minded the cab fee. Harry let his head fall back against the seat as Merlin gave the driver directions and they began to move again. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but the sway of the vehicle was relaxing. Harry would have thanked Merlin again for keeping him together that night, but he already had and Merlin already knew how much he appreciated it besides. Not just for the distraction, but to have one last friend left as well. 

Keeping focused while the car swayed was quite a task, but Merlin spent more time looking at Harry than not. The man was too inebriated for him to be as careful as he normally was. Harry caught him staring with a look of conflicted frustration and, even more confusingly, a touch of disgust. Whether at Harry or at himself was anyone's guess. Merlin wasn't the sort to be straightforward, or to allow anyone to pry his secrets loose without a fight. 

Harry decided not to confront it just then. He had a feeling Merlin wouldn't appreciate it. So instead he let his eyes close and the ride home turn his limbs into jelly and enjoyed his time out with someone who didn't hate him as much as time would allow. 

When the cab stopped in front of the Stanhope Mews, Harry had to force himself alert again, at least enough so that he could straighten his legs. He stopped to look at Merlin first. Harry offered the man a small smile, no matter that Merlin's expression hadn't righted itself into his polite mask yet. And then Harry was out the door, stumbling a little before he handed the driver a wad of notes--probably more than he owed, but he didn't care to look--and made his way down the softly lit street towards his doorstep. 

The cab pulled away to deliver its other passenger to his destination. Harry was left to his own devices - unlocking and slipping into an empty house that didn't feel like home anymore now that it lacked something so essential. _Someone_ so essential. 

Harry hadn’t been able to bring himself to move Eggsy's things. Everything was kept like Eggsy had just left, perhaps would be back at any moment. A small set of folded pyjamas remained on the boy's side of the dresser top, waiting to be put on.

The reminders hurt, but having them gone would hurt more.

Harry couldn't even delude himself that it was for Arthur's inspections either, or in case anyone who knew about Eggsy visited. Harry had ended the care worker's follow ups with a few strings pulled months ago. Eggsy's case had been transferred out of their office, ostensibly picked up by a new department that had never existed at all. He wouldn’t be hearing from them any time soon. 

Harry shrugged out of his coat and jacket, and headed straight for bed. He didn't want to look at anything in the house. He didn't want to try to pretend Eggsy was lying in bed with him that night. He just wanted to collapse and fall into sleep and not dream for once. In his dreams he fixed everything that had gone wrong. A dozen different ways he'd done it so far, and he had to wake up to reality every morning after. 

It couldn't be fixed unless Eggsy wanted it to be. What had happened earlier made it clear that the boy didn't want things fixed. Given enough time, he might listen to Harry's reasons and accept some sort of amends beyond what Harry had already tried to do fixing his mother up, but it was too little too late. Eggsy wouldn't listen if Harry took him away when he didn't want to go, and he'd only build on the resentment that was already there.

Eggsy remained within his reach and yet, since he cared about the boy, out of his reach forever. Having to watch him from a distance, knowing that Eggsy hated him and he was unable to help or touch or talk to the boy, hurt far worse than Harry had been anticipating.

Eventually Harry fell asleep, and the alcohol was effective enough that his rest stayed dreamless.

* * *

Two months passed and Eggsy had seen no further signs of the gentleman spy, even when he remained as wary as he could be. His paranoia was lessening slightly as the days passed. Harry knew where he was already, and though the thought of Harry knowing where he was going when he made deliveries still didn't sit well with him, there was no real point in giving himself the extra work of avoiding every CCTV camera along the route. He did, however, get good at it enough that he suspected he'd throw off the met police if they ever did notice him and tried to track him, so he counted that as one skill well learned to come out of all this. 

It turned out Eggsy was very good at his new job. Other, older, boys came and went, but Eggsy was the fastest and most careful. He rarely had any problems with the customers either, just some who laughed at him at first, which he didn't like, but as soon as they got what they paid for they generally let him be. 

Other kids came and went in the flat, too. Vivian let him keep the couch, but there were nights when three other people would be sleeping on the floor around him and it was nearly impossible to use the shower in the mornings. He was, however, finally getting on with some of the regulars, and Bastian especially. 

It turned out Bastian's cold demeanour when he'd first encountered Eggsy was normal for the older boy. He treated everyone like that for the most part, except Eggsy. He sometimes brought Eggsy sweets from the children's home, when he could find them, and his friendliness hadn't wavered from that first night he'd brought Eggsy over. When Eggsy asked about it, still wary to trust anyone's kindness early on, Bastian had told him he'd once had a little brother. 

"Didn't act or look a thing like you," Bastian had said, "but he'd be about your age." Eggsy hadn't been able to get more out of him than that, but it at least solved some of the mystery. 

Eggsy had given up trying to understand more than that. It didn't matter, really. What mattered was that the older boy still liked him. He wasn't exactly a _friend_ , but he was a friendly face, and those were sparse.

Eggsy had warily taken a few trips to his mother's flat again after Harry told him to go back home. The first time, he'd barely been able to get himself to get on the tube and walk to Rowley Way, convinced that it was a trap and Harry was going to be waiting for him when he got there. Instead, the flat was empty. Michelle still lived there, but she'd been gone for several days from what Eggsy could see through the windows. The back window to his old room had been locked tight, and Eggsy hadn't learned enough about picking locks yet to be able to get in through the front door to poke around. He left without incident, vaguely worried all the while about where his mother might be.

The second time he came back, the flickering light of a telly screen could be seen through the window at a distance. Eggsy had snuck closer to find his mother bundled up in a blanket on the couch, a familiar tumbler in hand and a few bottles scattered on tables around her. Wherever she'd gone, her habits hadn't changed.

Eggsy had gone back to East London feeling more cold and alone than he'd felt in a long time. Another avenue of hope, one that he hadn't admitted to himself he'd wanted so badly, was lost to him. He curled into the window on the tube and cried the whole way back, feeling like his life was ending. He'd missed his mother and there was no hiding the truth of that. 

For the first time since he'd set out on his own, he began to realise that there were no safety nets left. He couldn't go back to Michelle. He couldn't go back to Harry. He even began to fear missing too much school, not learning things that all adults needed to learn when they were his age. The glamour of making it on his own was fading into a sad reality. 

Not much was left to him. He'd survive, of course, but survive for what? He no longer knew what was to become of him. He wouldn't be going to university or trade school because he could no longer afford it, and they wouldn't take him anyways if he wasn't going to finish _regular_ school. His mother couldn't help him, and his aunt wouldn't, and his father was dead. Eggsy refused to ask Harry for help, even though Harry owed him help.

Eggsy knew he'd probably end up like the older kids he was working with, stuck in a life tied to crime and the streets. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

As the days passed, he sometimes asked Bastian about life at Andrew's place. Bastian never had many good things to say about it though. Andrew and Jen were nice enough, but it sounded more like a second kind of school. Rules and homework and other kids that came and went.... Eggsy didn't think he'd like it much better than living with Vivian. Even if he wasn't so sure whether he should want to go back to school or not. Harry had never held rules over him, and neither had his mum, more or less. Bastian's stories sounded suffocating. 

Once in a while though, the older boy came to Vivian's with homework that he hadn't been able to finish at home and couldn't put off any longer.

For lack of anyone else to hang out with that was interested in him, Eggsy stuck close to Bastian. Everyone else came and went and only seemed to care that he did his job quickly and effectively, but Bastian didn't seem to mind him. Watching him do homework wasn't the most stimulating and exciting activity, but Eggsy wanted to be near someone. Anyone who wasn't shoving packages into his hands, or taking packages out of them.

One day Bastian brought a small pile of paperbacks with him and laid them over the coffee table while he plopped himself down on the couch. Since it was early afternoon, Eggsy had already moved his pillow and blankets out of the way, but no one had chased him off the couch yet. Bastian, and maybe Vivian if she sat at the other side and didn't bother him, was the only one he didn't mind sitting with him. The telly was almost always on during the day, but it was low enough that Eggsy had gotten used to ignoring it if he wanted to. 

"You ever read any Shakespeare?" Bastian asked and shook a book in Eggsy's direction before he dug out his notebooks. 

"Nah. Isn't that stuff, like... what adults like? A bunch of weird language so they can feel all smart?" Eggsy's nose wrinkled. He'd had quite enough of trying to fit in with upper class people or liking what they liked. Fancy plays only reminded him of all the times Harry had taken him out to the theatre to keep him entertained while also trying to bond over the activity together. "Or girls. There used to be some girls in my class that were always talking about Romeo and Juliet."

Bastian laughed. "I'm havin' to read that now. An' the sonnets, which everybody uses for love poems and whatnot. An' Hamlet. That's the one where the guy holds up the skull an' all, dramatic like, an' goes 'to be or not to be'...." Bastian shook his head and tossed one of the books into Eggsy's lap. "You might like that one actually. Everybody dies." He flipped through his notebook and then went searching through the short pile for another. 

"But do they die 'cause there's action scenes with sword fights and shootin' each other with arrows and stuff, or is it like Romeo and Juliet where they're supposed to make a bunch of speeches and then kill themselves?" Eggsy picked up the book anyways and began to skim through it. As expected, the language was archaic and difficult. Bastian's copy from school had copious footnotes at the bottom of each page explaining exactly what was going on and what different words meant. Despite Eggsy's scepticism, he found himself getting absorbed in the book. Reading was slow going with how alien the language was, and Eggsy knew nothing about royal politics or even much about Denmark, but he could enjoy a plot about revenge and ghosts and murder.

Eggsy was so drawn in that he wasn't expecting the pain brought about by one of the passages. _Doubt thou the stars are fire_ , the book entreated. _Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love._ Words that were far, far too close to ones Harry had told him once, telling him that Eggsy could doubt everything else, but never to doubt that Harry loved him.

The boy lowered the book to his lap, crestfallen. He hadn’t known how poignant those words would be at the time, but how could he not doubt? How could Harry have done everything that he'd done, to Eggsy's mother and to Eggsy himself, if he truly loved and cared?

He tried to hold there, tried to keep the book open and his eyes down even as they glazed over thinking about it. What did Harry's love mean? His mum had always told him that love meant caring for someone beyond anything else, trying to protect someone, keep them safe and happy, and Eggsy had always thought trust was a part of that. He'd always thought of love as something unselfish. Maybe inspired by too many shows on the telly. He wasn't supposed to like love stories after all, growing up with the friends he had, but that stuff sort of sank in anyway. 

But Harry hadn't been like that, not really. Except that Eggsy could remember the times when Harry was, and that twisted inside him to miss Harry's kindness when he'd hurt Eggsy so much. 

Did it mean anything at all to be loved if the person who loved him hurt him in order to keep him, or to have him in the first place? Eggsy had given Harry several chances to be honest with him, and Harry had continued to lie instead of telling him the truth. Harry hadn't given him a choice about what was best for him. Harry had lied and manipulated things, either outright choosing what he thought was the best thing to happen or censoring the information Eggsy had until he picked what Harry wanted him to pick.

Which, once Eggsy thought about it, wasn't entirely unlike what his mother did. The thought disturbed him. Eggsy knew for certain his mother loved him, but she'd done similar. Not to the same degree, of course, but similar.

A nudge at his shoulder startled him and he glanced over to find Bastian looking down at him with worry. "You ok there?" 

Eggsy must not have been hiding it very well, because Bastian almost never looked serious like that. He only looked angry when he was serious, rarely concerned, and he'd been laughing and bored over his homework only a minute ago. Eggsy had never actually talked about Harry with the older boy, or anyone at the flat. Not since his attempt with Andrew and Jen. Whenever he'd felt sad, he did his best to go somewhere out of sight. 

"Yeah, I'm ok. Just thinkin' about stuff. Like..." Eggsy floundered and tried to think of something Bastian might accept. "Like in this, y'know, nobody knows who to trust or if what anyone says is really true. Not even the ghost. Everythin' in real life seems like that, 'specially with adults. Don't matter who they are."

Bastian looked at him for a long moment. "Yeah 'suppose so. Don't think it matters in the end though. They all die anyway, no matter who they trusted or didn't or who was tellin' the truth all along an' who was lyin'. That's why this homework is so dumb. We're supposed to say who was doing what an' why, but what does it matter?" Bastian sighed and looked over his paper. The interesting thing about the older boy, Eggsy had learned, was that he wasn't dumb. He liked math and he liked strategy games. He liked to talk about people as though he could figure them out, but he didn't like things he thought were pointless. 

"A lot of stuff is like that though, ain't it? I guess..." Eggsy frowned in thought. "I guess it mostly just matters for learnin' how people think, so you can use that later. Keep yourself safe, or make people do things, or figure out what they want. Sometimes things stay messy even after people die, depending on what they were doin'. If you're a regular person and you die, nobody really notices, but if you're famous and important people might start a war."

Bastian raised both his brows. "'Spose so. Like if you're royalty in Denmark." His smile was back, wry and maybe it was meant to cheer Eggsy up just a little.

Eggsy had made a decent recovery, and he wasn't crying or anything, but Bastian had noticed. Bastian probably wouldn't think anything less of him if he cried though, as terrible as the thought of crying in front of somebody else was. And Vivian was pretty lenient just so long as he got his rounds done, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be a good idea to let her and the others catch him at it, for bigger reasons than his pride. He couldn't have them doubting that he could keep this up. 

Or that he would keep quiet and strong, if he got caught while out on delivery. Nobody liked a snitch. The more that he could show them that he was mature, strong, and clever, the better off he'd be. Eggsy just wished that he didn't have to. He wanted to have someone to confide in, but he didn't dare trust anyone. Harry had been his confidant, and Harry was gone.

"Yeah, I guess so. Or the British Prime Minister, although maybe not. I bet a bunch of people wouldn't notice if he kicked it." Eggsy did his best to try to joke with Bastian. If the older boy thought he was alright, he wouldn't ask after him later and clue others in to the fact that something had been wrong.

"Right," Bastian played along even though he'd turned back to his homework. "They'd just put in some bloke from MI6 in a mask an' pretend it's all normal like. Next big conspiracy, that'd be." He was smiling. It was just dumb banter. Bastian had no idea what he was talking about, but it hit uncomfortably close to home for Eggsy. Eggsy didn't even know what Harry really did in the spy world, or why he did it. From what Eggsy saw, he'd probably received the censored versions of everything Harry had ever done even if it sounded real. He didn't know who was who or what was what in the realm of international espionage. 

Eggsy didn't even know if Harry was playing for the good guys. It was conceivable that he wasn't. Eggsy knew for certain that Harry had killed, and probably quite often for how efficient and effortless it had seemed in the recordings. Burning an enemy alive didn't seem like the sort of things good guys did, no matter what the bad guys had done.

All of which made it more surreal that Harry had let him go. Eggsy still found himself worrying from time to time, knowing that Harry could be watching him or that he could swoop down and take him at any moment, but that moment never arrived. Eggsy couldn't figure out why that would be the case unless it was some sort of trick.

"Viv's told me they've got some new rounds comin' up for you," Bastian said a few minutes later without preamble. "Bigger clients it sounds like. I think she's branching out. Says she's gonna talk to us about it soon, but if it works out, this could mean a hell of a lot more money comin' in." 

In the time Eggsy had been there, they'd hired a couple older kids to do runs just like he did, but Eggsy was the only one who was a regular, which he'd counted as a good sign. There had been a couple times when he'd had a hard time finding locations or getting into places, but he'd never failed to make a delivery or show up before the customer got truly angry and tried to call in. Eggsy knew he was constantly on shaky ground with the very nature of the work, but with how well he'd done so far, Bastian's comment didn't sound too farfetched. 

"More money's good. I can do whatever, so long as Viv tells me where to go and the stuff ain't too heavy. I can only carry so much in one go, y'know." Eggsy shrugged. He didn't think that there was harm in admitting he had limitations. Viv and the others weren't likely to get rid of him. He'd proven that he was useful and reliable, and if they were thinking about running something higher risk with higher rewards, they'd want someone they could trust. Someone who'd never failed a job or tried to dip into the coffer. 

"I think you'll do jus' fine," Bastian reassured him, and that sounded like all he needed to say. 

Bastian occasionally did deliveries as well, but his main job was picking up the merchandise. Eggsy figured that was the more dangerous of the two, since he was never told where the drugs came from. The most he ever heard was that Bastian and a couple of the teens had to go down to the docks or some warehouse or some other odd location after dark. On those trips, they always took a car.

Eggsy didn't want to know where the drugs came from, or even what they were. Cops wouldn't believe that he was completely innocent, but they'd go easier on him if they thought he was fairly clueless and being tricked by someone older. In the same way, Viv and the others wouldn't get suspicious about him later on if he kept his nose out of things. Viv had talked a few times before about competition, and Eggsy didn't want them thinking he was going to run off with a bunch of information to sell to someone else.

Thoughts of what life now held for him churned in Eggsy's mind as he and Bastian sat on the couch and the older boy worked diligently and quietly until the others arrived home. There was no getting any work done after that. The other boys and the girls they sometimes brought with them were loud and they took up spaces all over the room, demanding the channel be changed or that someone make a run for take away. Bastian joined a game of cards at the table, and before long the afternoon had passed and it was time for Eggsy to make his scheduled runs.

Eggsy dutifully stuffed his backpack full and scanned over the sheet of addresses he had for the day. Most were regulars, all places he'd been before. He was careful not to take the same route every time, but some of his caution was unmerited now that Harry seemed to have given up kidnapping him back or threatening his mother.

Eggsy's thoughts lingered on Harry most of the afternoon. Travel made for a lot of time to zone out and think or, in Eggsy's case, reminisce until his chest ached. He wondered about what they might have been doing right then if Harry hadn't lied and manipulated him. He thought about the places Harry had promised to take him - all far too expensive now for him to ever afford to go. 

Halfway through his deliveries, Eggsy's path crossed with a small tailoring shop. The storefront was nothing as fancy as Savile Row; the clientele were hopefuls wanting to climb the social ladder rather than those who had already arrived. Still, Eggsy stopped in midstride and drifted towards the window, taking in the spread of fabrics and leather goods and little accents. Part of him wanted to go in. An impulse seized him to purchase something small, like a handkerchief, to carry with him. If he couldn't have the Harry he'd fallen in love with, he wanted a piece of that dream.

Eventually Eggsy decided against it and forced himself to turn away from the shopfront. Harry's loss already stung quite enough. He didn’t want to make it worse, and a piece of cloth wouldn't truly make him feel better. 

It would only remind him of what he'd lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (3/12) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	35. Chapter 35

Vivian's business began to pick up as the weeks went by, turning into another month. Just as Bastian had said, Eggsy was introduced to new clients. Clients who were a step above the people they sold to before, Vivian liked to say, which mostly meant that they were willing to pay for more or for harder narcotics. Or, in some cases, they were other dealers looking for easy trades. People like that were what Vivian had warned Eggsy about before, but as far as he could tell, some kind of a transition seemed to be happening in the business. Vivian had had offers to expand by joining in with these other dealers in the area, and she was beginning to take them up on it. 

For the most part, however, Eggsy's work didn't change. The clients had different faces and different locations, and the amount of bags and cash he sometimes had to carry became more difficult, but still no one gave him trouble. The teens hassled him sometimes still, but he felt his place had finally been cemented within their ranks. 

The work wasn't that much more difficult, or even much more dangerous from what Eggsy could see, but living was slowly becoming harder. The older teens didn't really include him in much, and Eggsy didn't have many real friends to talk to. He couldn't talk to Bastian. He had a feeling the older boy wouldn't understand and that Eggsy might risk everything if he upset that particular relationship.

Eggsy couldn't talk to anyone, but what had really begun to bother him was a lack of touch. He missed being held and kissed, all the little gestures of love and affection. He missed orgasms and feeling wanted. Touching himself wasn't the same, and Eggsy didn't really get a chance for that either very much. There were too many people in the flat running around, and no privacy. Not until the wee hours of the morning when Eggsy was tired and often in a mood as dark as the gloom outside.

There were times when he sat on the couch next to Bastian's easy sprawl as they watched a film and the others drifted in and out that Eggsy would consider the boy next to him. It was the closest physical proximity he got to almost anyone, but although Bastian was friendly and not afraid of touch, it was the shoulder bumping, playful jabbing sort that all Eggsy's old friends used as well. The thought of curling up next to the older boy was...different. Even if Bastian would allow it, and there was no telling whether he would, Bastian wasn't like what Harry had been like. He didn't look as comfortable as Harry had. His shoulders were broad for a boy going into his teens, and he was bigger than Eggsy by far, but he was still just a boy. If he wrapped his arms around Eggsy and had Eggsy sit in his lap, it wouldn't feel the same at all, Eggsy guessed. 

A part of him wondered if that was what it was supposed to be like though. When people normally had their first dates, it was with other people their age and...their size, too. He wondered if he would have had some kind of awkward crushes like that if it hadn't been for Harry. It made him wonder if something would be wrong with him now, and yet, Harry's touch was the one he missed. 

Bastian wouldn't do. None of the others that drifted in and out of the flat would either. Eggsy wasn't interested, and he didn't want to risk his position as a delivery boy. He began to look at people he passed on the street, particularly in the rougher areas, wondering if any of them were like him... but there was no way of knowing. He couldn't very well just ask some random bloke for sex and a cuddle. They might try to beat him up, or worse.

And besides, none of the boys his own age, or Bastian's age, really caught his eye when he walked along. A few did, but the ones that made him really consider anything more were all older men - of a certain height and build, and with dark brown hair.

The trend became apparent to Eggsy after the second man he'd caught himself following off the tube, trying to keep up with long legs and a deep charcoal grey suit, but every time Eggsy got close, or looked at these men too long, his throat would close up and he'd find himself wrapped up in blankets on the couch that night thinking back on the encounter and replacing the man's face with one from his memory. 

One with warm brown eyes. Eggsy had so rarely seen them turn cold, which seemed like it should have been ironic after everything, but it was true. Whenever he imagined Harry in place of another man on his daily travels, Eggsy would always imagine his face warm and inviting. Eggsy remembered the way Harry's warmth could turn scorching with barely any movement at all. Just in the intensity he put behind that gaze. That was something Eggsy thought about a lot on the rare nights when he was alone in the living room.

Those thoughts weren't the healthiest, considering how things had turned out. He couldn't move on and heal if he couldn't stop thinking about Harry, and he couldn't stop thinking about Harry so long as every good thing about him, every positive thing they'd had together, stuck in the boy's mind. Holding the truth of the bad that Harry had done together with Eggsy's most beloved memories seemed impossible. Eggsy could be angry and love Harry at the same time, but he couldn't reconcile Harry the Killer with his Harry.

Eggsy would curl up on the couch, hidden away under the blanket, and pretend that he was on Harry's couch, or in his bed, and nothing had ever gone wrong. Harry hadn't lied or done anything bad. Warm arms would reach around him at any moment. Eggsy couldn't feel them except in his imagination, of course, but when he slid his own hand under his waistband, it was simple enough to fantasize that it was Harry curling fingers around his cock instead.

Harry bending his head to kiss the tender skin of Eggsy's neck while the man adjusted his grip, the way Harry would press his tongue there and how it always made Eggsy think Harry wanted to eat him up, the way Harry would press his hips against Eggsy's backside and he would be able to feel just how much Harry wanted him...all of it was seared into Eggsy's memory. But he found himself clinging to those memories and every sensation inside of them. He couldn't bring himself not to miss it. He couldn't bring himself to let go. 

He even imagined Harry there with him, just behind him on Vivian's couch. He imagined it was Harry's hand down his shorts and Harry's voice in his ear telling him to be strong, that Harry loved him, and how much he missed Eggsy, how much he wanted to pleasure Eggsy every night again. It was all too easy to imagine those words could have been Harry's. It sounded like something Harry would say. 

Eggsy missed it. He wanted it. Not with the man who'd lied to him and broken his world for the chance to steal him away, or the man who murdered without hesitation, but the man who had taken him in and been such a good friend. He wanted the Harry he'd known, the man that Harry had been pretending to be. Eggsy shifted his hips back against the couch and stroked himself, but it was difficult to hold onto the illusion that Harry was there with such poor stimulation.

Eggsy didn't dare try to pick up another random adult for sex. Being caught or reported was too much of a danger, and besides, he had some idea of how easily an adult could injure him. Harry had always been careful, but someone else might not be.

He tried to shove those thoughts back and just remember the ones he wanted, but it was hard. It got a little easier when he found the right rhythm and when he tried to make his fingers feel more like Harry's. He could remember what it felt like when Harry was inside him and doing this, and that always made his cock harder even though Eggsy had never tried stroking himself from inside like Harry had. He didn't have enough privacy even if he wanted to. 

He kept his mouth closed and tried to take slow breaths through his nose as he imagined Harry pressing in close behind him, pulling down his pants, and slipping fingers inside Eggsy's body. Prep wouldn't take long, or it didn't have to in Eggsy's imagination. He imagined Harry turning him onto his stomach while the man draped himself over Eggsy, his large cock sliding between Eggsy's legs. Eggsy would be able to feel it as Harry lined himself up. Harry liked rubbing himself all over Eggsy before he got into position and began the slow push inside. 

Because it was a fantasy, there was no discomfort. Harry wouldn't need to pause to let him adjust, inching forward in that slow, careful way until he was as deep as he dared go. In Eggsy's mind, Harry slid into him with ease in one smooth movement. Eggsy would writhe a little as he was stretched and filled, picturing what he must look like while feeling it happen.

Eggsy thrust against his own hand and wished he had the privacy to _really_ feel what he wanted, or at least to try. He risked enough simply by doing this much on the common area couch.  
The blanket over his shoulders helped a little if someone were to walk in very suddenly, but that was all he had. He didn't like that he had to keep quiet. He'd been able to make as much noise at Harry's as he liked. The walls were thick and the house was well separated from the neighbours. They might as well have been on an island when they were inside and the windows were closed and the curtains drawn. 

Eggsy imagined Harry leaning over him to whisper a soft shushing sound in his ear. Harry's breath might have even caught on it as his hips began to move, pressing Eggsy down into the cushions. Eggsy gripped his shaft harder and imagined Harry wrapping an arm underneath him to help. He could remember so well the sensation from both ends, inside and out.

He could even pretend that this was one of the absurd situations that he and Harry had talked about, daring to indulge in one another while there was a danger in being caught. They'd never really done so, of course, but Eggsy could imagine that this was one such occasion - with Harry claiming him while cautioning him to be quiet and not draw attention. The idea that they _could_ get caught was part of the appeal. Eggsy had enjoyed things for what they were, but he knew a bit now to suspect that he'd gotten an extra bit of thrill from how rebellious and taboo it had all been.

Eggsy wished that it was easier to imagine weight pressing him down. He could remember what some things felt like, and if he got a bit of privacy even try to simulate a bit of it with his fingers, but nothing really could replace the feel of Harry curled around him or pressing him down into a mattress.

He could, however, picture Harry's fingers where his own were, and Eggsy held onto that. It helped when he screwed his eyes closed and tried not to move too much. All he had to do was think of Harry's voice in his ear. Harry loved getting up close like that, like he thought himself the devil at Eggsy's shoulder. But it worked. Eggsy had to hold back the thrusts of his hips and close his mouth tight against any whimpers that might escape. The exertion of restrain left him trembling as his hand picked up speed. 

Pleasure tinged with regret and sorrow lanced through Eggsy. He couldn't think of Harry without a vague sense of loss, even when steeped in fantasy. The older man existed as a phantom, whispering orders and endearments into the boy's ear and covering smaller hands in Eggsy's mind. It wasn't enough, and yet it was all Eggsy had, and so it would have to do. Eggsy gritted his teeth and breathed as quietly as he could manage and let Harry ravish him in his imagination, wishing all the while that the Harry he thought he'd known really would come take him away from everything.

When he came, for an instant, that Harry crystallized in his mind. Eggsy hung on the bliss of that moment as pleasure surged through him, imagining Harry's hand tightening on his cock to draw it out. He was so close to feeling Harry with him and driving everything else back, hearing Harry's whispered 'I love you' in his mind before it was all over. 

Reality seeped in and Eggsy's body slackened. He didn't want to open his eyes, but it didn't make a difference. The room he was in filtered into his conscious mind all the same, and when Eggsy did crack his eyes open, he found that he was not wrong. He was alone in the cold living room of a flat full of people who were just getting by, like he was now. 

That loneliness seeped into him and formed an empty, cold space in his core. Eggsy curled up tighter on the couch to get warmer, but to a certain extent he would never get warm enough. It wasn't a matter of temperature but of objective reality. Eggsy had had certain expectations about life and his future, and none of them were going to be true. He'd lost everything. He, himself, was a lost boy, and he was likely going to stay that way, stuck on the other side of the law and beneath the radar.

* * *

Harry celebrated Eggsy's eleventh birthday by getting sloshed and tossed out of a pub in Moscow. It had been worth it, he told Merlin later when the man was putting ice on his forehead and checking to make sure he didn't have a concussion from a table leg swung into his person, and he hadn't endangered the mission. 

Harry continued to walk the fine line between mourning and dangerous in spite of his friend's best efforts to help, and Merlin did help. They both knew it. Harry going through those months alone would have been Harry dead half a dozen times. 

By the time a year had passed since Eggsy had left, Harry's reckless abandon had calmed somewhat, but his turbulent nights hadn't. He hadn't given up his surveillance, but the life Eggsy led now was getting harder and harder to watch. Michelle's rehabilitation had been a failure, and Harry couldn't find it in himself to blame her. Because of him, she had no reason to stay sober and she never knew she'd lost a second chance with her son. It was too far gone now. Eggsy might check back in someday, but Harry doubted he'd ever live with her again. 

The boy had made his own path. As pitiful a path as it was, Eggsy had found something for himself, all on his own. A direction that he was in control of, from his perspective at least. Harry knew well how relations with the sorts of people Eggsy worked for could turn out, and the thought of it haunted him. 

The first real respite from worry Harry had was while perched atop the well-worn deck off the beaten path of a tourist town in Belize, watching the barest hint of clouds floating above the blue of the Caribbean. He'd just wrapped up an easy mission and he suspected Merlin had given them both the assignment as a vacation more than anything, but Harry couldn't find it in himself to complain. For the first time in a long time, he was enjoying the tropical heat on the back of his neck and a cool drink in his hand. 

Enjoying, too, the sight of slight figures baring tanned skin to the sun. Tourists and locals alike were enjoying the shore, and Harry let himself watch with pleasure hidden behind tinted glasses, feeling less guilt than he had in some time. It wasn't a betrayal to watch, or enjoy what was freely laid out before him.

There was more to be had, Harry knew. A great many countries had options available for those who knew where to look and had the cash for discretion. Merlin had even gone so far as to suggest such an indulgence a few times, thinking that it might take the edge off Harry's apparent death wish or allow him to move on, but the idea had seemed crude at the time. Eggsy couldn't be replaced by another boy. 

That was not to say the idea hadn’t stayed with him, no matter how he felt about Eggsy. His hopes of it fixing anything in him were simply not very high. Harry had his reasons for drifting to the cantina not far from the main shore where Merlin waited at their hotel. His mind lingered on what Merlin had suggested. The local markets were only several streets down, a nearly invisible line drawn between them and the tourist haunts, and Harry had nearly wandered that far. 

He finished his drink and paid the tab, descending the sun warmed stairs in his sandals and shorts. He looked the part, he knew he did, to be wandering the beach and fitting in with the others on holiday even though he was still working on his tan. Harry let his eyes linger as he strolled, like he had been doing ever since he'd ordered a drink and sat on the deck thirty minutes ago. This had not been so rare for him once upon a time, but a vaguely familiar rush came back to him as he wandered the sand. This was a different sort of hunt than his missions often were, or at least it seemed so to him. 

Different methods to the trade ran in different locations, but Harry's attention lingered on the handful of young children selling cans of soda and chewing gum he'd passed along the way.

They were selling more than the goods in their packs and small trolleys. Locals knew it, and some tourists knew it as well, and yet the charade continued. The oblivious purchased refreshments and were sometimes sized up as pickpocketing marks for later, and then the youth continued, smiling and posing while offering drinks and candy and other novelties while the rest of their services were written between the lines.

Harry lingered a bit too long on their beach, and the children began to approach him as a possible mark. "Perdoname, senor. Refrescos? Quiere refrescos?"

Harry turned and smiled, pretending he didn't understand the Spanish. He'd found a smooth patch of sand to sit on, and that was all it had taken. There was one boy in the group Harry had been eyeing while he was up at the cantina. Dark hair full of curls that hung in his eyes, but only just. Small body and a beautiful face. Merlin had insisted Harry wear the glasses while he went out, the feed back to Kingsman disabled of course, and Harry let his gaze travel up this boy from bare toes to his soft brown eyes. 

"Soda?" Harry asked, keeping the boy's eyes locked with his while he pulled out his wallet. He opened it and flipped through the bills inside, letting the boy see that there was plenty while Harry paused as though thinking. He glanced down and looked back up at the boy again with a curve to his smile. "Actually, I'll take the whole pack you have there, but I'd need someone to help carry it back to my hotel room. Would you mind terribly?"

The boy's eyes widened and he shook his head, gracing Harry with a smile. Harry knew it was practiced. All the children on the beach were experienced at pulling customers. Some places kept all of their wares inside, but other pimps sent their charges to go out seeking customers, turning a profit on concessions on the side. "Not at all. That will be fine, senor. Is the room very far?" The boy bit his lower lip, sizing up Harry in a way he knew the older man would notice. "So many, just for you?"

"I have a sweet tooth." Harry's smile widened. It had helped that he'd placed himself on the ground, allowing the boys to approach him without towering over them. The others scampered away to look for more opportunities as Harry climbed to his feet and dusted off his shorts. He adopted his most amiable demeanour and sure enough the young boy looked well enough at ease even though he had to look up at Harry now. 

"I was thinking of checking into the hotel up the walk there," Harry nodded a ways up the shore. He couldn't very well kick Merlin out of the suite they had checked into days prior and he didn't want to cross an outing like this with any place he’d previously paid with a credit card regardless. Not to mention the staff there would be more keenly suspicious if Harry showed up with a young boy who hadn't been with them when they'd checked in. "Is that a place you'd recommend?" Harry asked as he led the boy along, ushering him with a hand and watching for any signs that he was nervous. 

"Yeah, that one is pretty good. Lots of visitors go there, say they're happy with it. Nice beds, nice service." The boy kept glancing in Harry's direction. He wasn't nervous, but it was obvious he knew what to expect. He spent more time looking at Harry's face and groin than he did at the walkway in front of them. Boys who didn't have a good feel for the temperament and relative size of their customers likely didn't last very long. "Is this your first time visiting? I can give some suggestions, if you would like."

"It's been a long time," Harry admitted as they walked up the beach, and he wasn't just talking about Belize. Not many people they passed gave them a second glance, but Harry wouldn't have cared regardless. He could feel a familiar coil of desire settling into his stomach as they went, as the boy stayed close to him and allowed Harry's arm to brush his shoulder. He could see the hotel at the end of the street, much smaller than the one he was really lodging in. "Unfortunately I won't be staying long after today. Thought I'd make the most of it while I could." Harry smiled down and the boy smiled up. He wasn't sure why he didn't feel like inviting other suggestions the boy had for things to do. It would have made for good conversation and it was clear this boy knew very well what Harry was interested in. "I'm Henry, by the way. What's your name?" Harry asked. 

"Fernando, but lots of people just call me 'nando," the boy shrugged. It was clear that he didn't much care what clients called him, so long as they behaved themselves and he got paid. The boy's rates were likely to be far more than he could earn at any other job in the area - enough to help provide for his family, or save up to strike out on his own. That was, if his pimp didn't take the lion's share of his earnings. "Don't matter that you won't be staying long. I'm sure I can help find a way to make things very memorable for you."

Harry ducked his head and smiled. The motion even got Nando to smile back at him with confidence, one Harry thought might have been a little more real than the boy's easygoing smiles when he'd stepped up to Harry on the beach. For a moment there, Nando's teasing words had reminded Harry of someone else. Someone he was supposed to be not thinking about right then. It made his stomach flip uncomfortably, but it didn't quite overcome the eagerness in his groin either. 

When they reached the hotel, Nando waited patiently and quietly behind Harry as he paid for a room. Harry was inclined to give the boy a few quarters for the gum ball machines in the corner, and watching Nando delight in filling his pockets was a soothing balm. 

The boy didn't put any in his mouth right off. They both knew that his mouth would be full enough soon, and not with candy. They climbed the stairs, Nando walking in front of Harry in a concerted effort to tease him. It worked, but for how Harry remembered another figure walking up to a bedroom in front of him. Eggsy had done the same, delighting in winding Harry up before they'd even reached the bedroom. Harry felt a stab of pain as those memories merged with his current environment, overlaying the local boy's frame and features with Eggsy's own.

It made Harry feel hot and cold all at once, but he let his hand drift down Nando's back while they were in the hall alone. The boy's bare shoulders were still hot from the sun and his skin was so familiarly soft. Harry was rewarded with dark eyes flashing up at him above the curve of a small smile while he unlocked the door and let the boy inside. 

The room was small but the bed looked comfortable. In the corner was an ice box next to a desk and a lamp. Nando barely looked around as Harry shut the door behind them and turned the lock. Harry let the slowly building desire spread through him as he turned to look at the boy who waited patiently for Harry's lead. Harry pushed off the door, moving slowly into the boy's space and bent down. Nando raised his head as though he expected Harry was going in for a kiss, perhaps on the cheek or his temple, but Harry stopped just before he completed the motion and ran his hand down Nando's arm to take the six pack of soda out of his hand. Harry felt a pang of fondness warring with how familiar, and unfamiliar, this all felt as Nando huffed at Harry doing something unexpected. 

Harry straightened and went to put the pack in the refrigerator before he turned again and sat down on the edge of the bed. He held out one hand and tried to promise with his eyes that he wouldn't tease Nando again. "Come here." 

The boy sidled closer and sat on the bed next to him, hoping that it would tease Harry when he didn't immediately sit on his lap. "No refreshments yet? You put everything in the fridge," he pointed out, smiling amiably when Harry looked back at him. "Or are you wanting something different? Anything you want, senor, I know how to provide. You just have to ask."

"I believe you," Harry said and then thought about it for a minute. He had condoms and lube in his pocket. He had wanted this. The boy beside him was beautiful and Harry's cock was already hard in his shorts. He was fairly sure that Nando could already tell. "Why don't we take this slow," Harry heard himself say. It wasn't for Nando's sake, although the boy would probably appreciate the kindness and Harry wouldn't have tried to make it otherwise. "Sit on my lap," he requested and drew Nando closer with a guiding hand. 

Nando went without hesitation, draping himself across Harry's lap and twisting so he could look up at the older man with a smile. It all seemed effortless, and yet Harry knew that it wasn't. Eggsy had done similar in his own awkward way, yet no less enthusiastic. He'd spent more time looking down, keeping his balance and concentrating on the sensation of his hips griding back against Harry. In contrast, Nando had done this many times before. He no longer needed a visual check, or to be careful about his balance. He knew just how to sit and where to press, and he could do so while glancing back at Harry with a smile all the while. "How slow do you want?"

Harry drew his hands up the boy's back, folding the small body in his arms and making sure the boy was comfortable. He was sure that Nando could feel now that Harry was hard. There was no mistaking the way the boy shifted ever so slightly back and forth to apply pressure over his cock. Harry could even feel it slide between the boy's cheeks through their clothes. Harry exhaled heavily through his nose and Nando's slender arms wound around his neck. This was what Harry had wanted again, and yet.... Harry bent to the boy's ear and whispered, "Very slow." 

The boy nodded, and it was calculated. Time was money, and Harry would have to pay well for him to be worth the additional time. A slow client meant less time out on the beaches, fishing for another mark who would pay well for satisfaction. Nando shifted his hips and ground into Harry at a steady pace, teasing and more than ready for Harry to take things further. He pressed questioning lips against Harry's neck, knowing that some clients liked a bit of tenderness with sex instead of jumping right to fucking.

Harry lifted his chin for him and ran his hand up through Nando's hair. It was longer than Eggsy's had been. The press of his lips was different, too. Harry really didn't want to be comparing them--he hadn't come here looking for a stand-in for Eggsy--but he couldn't stop it. He let one of his hands drift down Nando's back and turned his face into the boy's hair. Nando smelled like sand and sun and very different from the way Eggsy had smelled and it was...not right. 

Slowly, Harry began to realise this wasn't what he wanted. He could get off with this boy. The way Nando was rubbing himself over Harry's cock was extremely stimulating and his small body was perfect....but it was all reminding Harry of the boy he still missed terribly. 

With a soft sigh, Harry turned them and let himself lay back on the bed, bringing Nando along with him, but next to him rather than on top or underneath him. The boy's legs were still wrapped around Harry's waist, and Harry was still straining against his shorts, but he didn't try to move closer. Harry raised his hand to the boy's cheek and stroked his thumb there, apologising. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I think this will be enough. There is...," Harry searched for the words and found he didn't have to censor himself in this situation. "There is someone I miss very much." 

Nando's brow furrowed in confusion. He wasn't used to being turned down once he got to this stage. He wasn't certain what this meant, either, for the rates he might get out of Harry. "Another boy? Maybe I can take your mind off of him. Anything they can do, I can do just as well, if not better." One small hand reached up to cup Harry's jawline, and the other smoothed down his shirt front and slid fingertips beneath his waistband. "Maybe your heart will ache a bit less if you get a bit of relief, no?"

Harry laughed and smiled softly. The boy's tenacity did lighten his heart. He knew that Nando could see that he liked it, too, but Harry slid his hand over the boy's wrist before it got any farther. "I'll pay you for the night. The whole night," Harry reassured him. He didn't want the boy to worry. It wouldn't hurt his wallet any and Harry figured that coming here and listening to him pine about a long lost love was worth plenty anyway. When Harry saw that Nando was still looking at him curiously, he nodded. "He was another boy, yes. Just a little older than you now, I believe." 

Nando nodded without understanding. He had no way of knowing if this tourist meant another boy like him, or one in a foreign country - where they weren't allowed to do what he did. The boy was too cautious to ask any more questions about the one he was supposed to replace. Harry would only resent him for hurt feelings, and might reconsider his generous offer of paying for the whole night. "Are you sure?"

Harry gave him a smile and tried to be reassuring. "I'm sure. And I mean it. You've done nothing wrong, nothing at all." He cupped his hand over the back of the boy's head and kissed his forehead. It was an overly comforting gesture, but Harry could see that Nando needed the reassurance. "And thank you for allowing me the indulgence of this much." Harry brushed his fingers over the boy's temple, moving dark curls away from his eyes, and remembered how much he'd loved doing that for Eggsy, skin so soft to his touch.... 

Harry must have gotten lost for a moment because he noticed Nando watching him curiously. He broke himself out of it with a sigh and a smile before he sat up again. "Have a soda if you'd like," Harry entreated as he pulled out his wallet and decided to give the boy a bit of extra besides.   
Nando wasn't any less confused, but he eagerly accepted a soda from the room's small refrigerator, and the extra fee besides. Harry was generous enough that the boy wouldn't have to take another client for that day, at the very least. Nando paused in the doorway after Harry handed him the money, but when Harry shook his head in dismissal once more, Nando shrugged and left.

"Not the right sort to catch your fancy?" Merlin's voice was quiet near Harry's ear. He'd nearly forgotten that he had the glasses' feed turned on.

If it had been any other voice, he'd have jumped out of his skin, or more likely onto his feet and ready for a fight. There was something about Merlin's voice, however, that had embedded itself into Harry's subconscious and prevented him associating it with a threat even before he rationally understood what was happening. Long years in the field with no one but Merlin in his ear was what did it, Harry was sure. He gave a deep sigh and flopped back on the bed. Then rolled over. Then sat up again. 

Harry rubbed his hands over his face and groaned in frustration. " _No_. This should have been right. But it just. Wasn't...." _Eggsy._ Harry didn't have to say. He stood and gathered his things, half his blood still running hot and the other half cold. 

"I would have thought that would be a relief. You're not out to replace him, after all. The whole point of the vacation was to get some relief and a bit of a distraction," Merlin pointed out. Harry was already hurrying down the hallway towards the exit. Heat struck him the moment he was out the door. It was still relatively early in the day, and the sun was baking the streets and beaches alike.

"I know," Harry groaned, keeping his voice down as he walked. "Rationally, I know that. But I still.... I just...." He didn't know how much more frustrated with himself he could be, and whether he was more frustrated about not being able to stop thinking about Eggsy or about getting himself so worked up and then leaving his body hanging like this. "This is driving me mad," Harry concluded as he passed the beach, ignoring it for the path along the street back to his hotel. He didn't want to linger there any longer. 

"Wanting the boy, or wanting to stop thinking about him?" Merlin sounded just as frustrated. Harry knew that some of that was out of legitimate concern, which was rare for the man, and some was out of annoyance. Harry didn't have anyone else to talk to regarding his grief and thoughts about Eggsy, and so Merlin had heard quite a lot the past few months. "You should have given him a try. There's no need to feel guilty over a little indulgence."

Harry stewed all the way to the beach front luxury hotel. It was quite a difference walking into the lobby as compared to the last one, with its white marble floors and an overly attentive concierge who Harry brushed by with only a short greeting. Standing in the lift with two bored looking snorkelers was a strain on his patience, but he found it was little relief even when he finally stepped onto his own floor and made for their suite. Harry doubted Merlin was still watching his feed now that the good bits were over, but he equally doubted that he would surprise the other man by coming back early. 

Merlin barely looked up from his laptop when Harry entered their suite. He was sprawled out on the sofa in the den shared by both bedrooms, wasting the opportunity to catch the sun on the balcony. "I don't know what you were expecting to find, coming back here. Unless you wanted to try one of the proper brothels instead of whatever you can hook along the shoreline."

Harry sat down at the nearby table and scowled. "I feel fucking ridiculous." Merlin did have a point. He could venture off to a brothel and not have to worry about anything but business, but that also wasn't the issue. "I should have had no problem back there. I _wanted_ it." But he'd wanted Eggsy more. Harry stood and went for the drinks cabinet, trying to will away what pent up energy he was left with. The only times he hadn't been thinking about Eggsy were the few missions he'd had to bed someone as part of the objective, but he didn't care to count those and he doubted Merlin would either. 

"You wanted it until you let your thoughts get in the way," Merlin pointed out. His eyes followed Harry's progress across the room to the little bar. "You're limiting yourself. You need to find a healthy outlet. You're going to drive yourself mad, and me with you, and possibly any rescue and extraction team that has to rush out to pick the two of us up when you get even more reckless and distracted than you have been."

Harry picked through the bottles and Merlin eyed the labels with scepticism. "I'll have whatever you're having, if you please, although I'm sure I'll regret it."

Harry laughed and shook his head, but pulled out a second glass anyway and brought them to the coffee table beside Merlin. Harry pulled up an armchair beside him and poured the drinks. "Sorry to spoil your fun," Harry remarked before he sat back, legs sprawled out in front of him and still uncomfortably half hard. Merlin didn't look any happier, and Harry noticed that the laptop was placed, conveniently, directly over his lap. "I really am ruining this for you, aren't I?" Harry mumbled into his glass. 

"Quite," the other man muttered. He took a sip from his glass and pulled a face, then decided that a need for alcohol currently outweighed disdain for the taste. He glanced at Harry, taking in his state and posture and saying nothing. Merlin had already seen all of Harry that there was to see, and Harry had seen him at the tail end of their special projects, which was close enough. Both men were past the point of awkwardness in their friendship. "You've been distracted, which hasn't exactly been optimal for my own... hobbies. I've grown used to your assistance."

Harry hummed and thought about that. He took a swig of his own glass. He'd begun to realise over quite a few months now how much Merlin really had been watching his recordings with Eggsy. The lack of new material forced Merlin to focus on his own projects to make up for the loss. And then there was this mission. This _holiday_ , Harry would almost rather call it. It had been Merlin's doing, but Harry had begun to realise something since they'd arrived and completed their actual work. Something that had been obvious since Merlin admitted to keeping the recordings from Harry's home, but was only now coming into a more...active role. One that involved Merlin insisting that Harry go out and take his glasses with him. 

Harry leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, glass in both hands before he set it down on the coffee table and looked at Merlin. "That boy reminded me too much of him." Obvious, Harry knew, but he waited to see if Merlin would read anything more into the statement. 

Merlin raised one eyebrow. The expression was enough to silence trainees and make some of their colleagues back off, but it no longer held any particular weight for Harry and hadn't for some time. They'd been partners for too long. "So? I would think that there should be plenty to choose from. Simply find one that's different enough that you can satisfy things without triggering memories you'd rather not deal with. Unless you're telling me that you're now wholly incapacitated, because every boy now looks the same."

"Well, I could go out and try all day." Harry himself couldn't rightly say he knew the answer to that question. "But you're frustrated, and I'm frustrated. I know how keen you are to see me atop some pretty young boy again. ...and I know for a fact that you don't remind me of him." Harry was normally far better at putting his offers into words, but this was also Merlin, who saw through every pretty word Harry ever had anyway. And it wasn't like Harry hadn't thought about it. It had just never been a good idea at the time.

Harry had never seen Merlin shocked before. Not even when Lee had died in front of them, taken out by a grenade that had made it past a security pat down. His friend's eyes were always moving, always calculating, and Harry was able to pinpoint the exact moment the man's thoughts stopped. There was almost a fearful quality about him, much like that time they'd sparred together, when a touch on the cheek was able to turn Merlin from smugly victorious to a fox frozen in the headlights, staring down an oncoming vehicle. "I... didn't think you the type. Excluding missions, your preferences seemed very clear."

Harry inclined his head. There was no denying that. "True. I'm not proposing this turn into a regular occurrence of any sort, just a...way to work off a little steam. I'm fonder of you than most and, well, I can see you fighting with yourself while looking at me on occasion." Harry kept his arms on his knees and hands folded together where Merlin could see them, willing himself not to move until he saw Merlin was actually thinking about it. He was fairly sure that anything too fast would put the other man right off. 

Merlin _was_ thinking about it. Harry found himself at the apex of the man's focus. Had it been anyone else, Merlin likely would have blown them off as joking, but he knew Harry wouldn't have offered if he wasn't serious. 

"I haven't... tried things before, you understand." Merlin was more soft-spoken than usual, but the rigid set of his spine and shoulders was defensive, daring Harry to make a comment about the admission. "I'm usually not interested. I don't know how much of an exception you might be. It's a difficult thing to explain to someone who doesn't experience such a different state of... normalcy, although I would guess that you are in the unique position to understand to some degree."

Harry let a small smile grace his features. "No harm in that. If there is one area of experience I do have, it's being someone's first." He was sure Merlin would have rolled his eyes at the cheek if he hadn't still been in such a state of uncertainty. It wasn't that Harry was confident of his seductive abilities in this area, with Merlin especially, it was just that it was something he was somewhat used to. 

Harry watched as Merlin thought about it for a minute, and then stood to place himself at the edge of the sofa near Merlin's knee. He moved slowly as he went and didn't try to move the laptop out of the way. 

Merlin set the laptop aside by his own choice, affecting a sense of curiosity and studiousness as a poor cover for the terror Harry could sense underneath. Merlin was the sort to whom boundaries meant safety and control. It had taken a great deal of effort for Harry to get behind the emotional and social walls the man put up, and this had the additional difficulty of being unknown territory.

"Here?" Merlin spared a glance towards the balcony. No one was watching, but security habits died hard.

Harry's mouth curved to see it, and he felt a little more comfortable giving advice. "Unless you'd rather move to the bedroom." Harry suspected not. In fact, he suspected this would be a clothes mostly on sort of affair with how exposed Merlin already felt. They were up high enough that the view out the balcony consisted mostly of sky and ocean. No one looking up from the beach below would be able to see them unless that person was a great ways out with a good pair of binoculars. 

Harry considered for a long moment whether he should initiate touch. He could, easily, move his hand to Merlin's side or his leg, somewhere unobtrusive but still intimate for the fact of the intention behind it, but he decided it would be better to let Merlin take that first step. Harry turned his hand over, palm up, to make the offer. He could guide after if it was accepted. 

Merlin hesitated, considering the gesture and, finally, placed his own hand atop Harry's palm. Merlin's fingers were more calloused than one might have expected had one not known he trained personnel besides his normal functions in technological support. Harry recognized the same ridges he had from weapons training and faint scars from field work.

Merlin had touched Harry before, but it was another thing entirely for touches to consist of closed fists, wrestling grapples, or the bits of camaraderie that came up between agents and their handlers. Merlin's fingers traced across Harry's wrist. After a moment his other hand came up and mirrored what Harry had done to him before, settling right beside his cheekbone.

Harry softened his eyes. He didn't have to make himself look bashful or altogether _too_ soft, as he sometimes had to do for marks--Merlin would not respond well to that--but he did make sure his posture wasn't threatening. 

Harry closed his hand around Merlin's and used it to draw the man up into a sitting position and also bring them closer. This was going to be slow, Harry realised as Merlin searched his eyes with equal parts caution and curiosity, but at least he wasn't thinking of Eggsy. Harry bent forward without touching, unsure of whether Merlin would welcome or be put off if Harry attempted to kiss him. Instead, he let his free hand glide over Merlin's neck. Touching the skin there drew a breath from the other man's chest and so Harry continued, drawing his hand down Merlin's collar, his sternum, his stomach. 

So far, so good. Merlin didn't exactly look at ease, but neither was he panicking or pulling away. It was only when it seemed like Harry's palm might drift a little lower that Merlin caught his wrist and shook his head. "Just... this, for now. I don't know what I can handle." _Tolerate_ was more apt to be the correct term, but no one cared to think that their partner was merely tolerating them and what was being done. 

Harry was going to have a time of figuring this out. The point, after all, was to find some kind of relief together, but he still had a few ideas. 

Harry shifted his hips a little closer on the sofa, but he brought his hand up again, smoothing over the muscle under Merlin's clothes until he found open skin again at the man's collar. Harry let his knees fall open and slowly untangled his other hand from Merlin's grasp. He knew Merlin liked watching him, albeit watching him with other partners. That may have meant Merlin enjoyed the idea of being Harry or being an invisible fly on the wall more than he necessarily enjoyed watching Harry alone, but Harry also suspected that had gotten somewhat muddled in the man's mind somewhere down the line. Harry watched Merlin watch him as he ran his own hand over his hip and down the inseam of his shorts, the juncture where hip met thigh, and then, slowly, palmed his own cock.

Harry guessed correctly. He had quite a bit of practice, after all, with the various honeypot missions he'd had to take over the years. He knew how to read small shifts in body language, flickers of expression and subconscious cues like the widening of pupils. Those things could all be faked, given the right tools and a few seconds to apply them, but not on demand while being watched. Merlin was caught between two stimuli - the unfamiliar sensation of being touched and watching Harry touch himself. Merlin leaned slightly into Harry's fingers against his neck at the exhibitionism, and not entirely consciously.

The hint of Harry's smile was back and he allowed himself to breathe deeply. This was going to be a bit of a show, apparently. Harry wasn't sure he minded that much as it was already strange seeing Merlin in this kind of light. Not bad, just...different. It made him wonder how far he could take it. 

Harry wrapped his fingers around the back of Merlin's neck and stroked his thumb down the pulse point. He thought about sliding his hand into his shorts, but suspected Merlin would rather _see_ his fingers as they moved, so with one hand he unbuttoned his flies and wrapped his hand around the muscle underneath with only a thin layer of cotton left in between. 

Merlin sucked in a breath and tensed. Harry got the sense of a thwarted movement _towards_ him, rather than away - attraction tempered by restraint, caution, and long-ingrained avoidance. Some of Harry's intuition proved correct when Merlin glanced up and met his eyes, then quickly glanced away. There was no need for embarrassment or self-consciousness, but Harry was used to such things from many years of adopting personas and putting himself out on display on missions without it meaning anything or touching him in any real sense. Merlin was used to watching while unobserved, safe behind a camera lens or a microphone pickup.

That gave Harry another idea. He glanced down, found Merlin's hand, the one that had nearly moved, and without looking up, Harry guided it to his thigh. He ran Merlin's fingers up the muscle, just a few short inches really, but enough to say that he was welcome to touch. Harry brushed his hand over the other man's arm before he let go. He was still leaning half bent into Merlin's space, but he didn't dare move any farther yet. Just a little more confidence from the other man and he might. 

Hunger was there, and slow to build. It took some time before Merlin's hand started to move, touching without ever truly crossing the line from sensual to sexual. He'd seen all the skin underneath the fine cotton, and he followed the silhouette from toned leg to the very slight dip at Harry's waist before he paused. Harry made no sign that he was unwelcome, and Merlin certainly had some notion of what was normally done after years of watching others, but he still turned questioning eyes towards Harry. Another heartbeat passed and he must have steeled himself; Merlin leaned in closer and their lips touched in what Harry might have described as innocent had he no experience with untried boys. Had he not, as well, watched that same mouth curve in pleasure upon the witnessing of tragedies and atrocities.

Harry smiled into the kiss, pleased at Merlin's reaction. For once he was glad that Merlin was not his usual type. Harry's role as guide was familiar, and yet not too familiar. He tilted his head up, pressed a little closer, and tried to feel for Merlin's limit. The man was tense, but he opened his mouth when Harry did, and Harry felt another aborted movement. He trailed the tip of his tongue against Merlin's lower lip, letting his free hand slide against Merlin's side, and shifted up on the couch. 

Merlin frowned a little throughout. They weren't at his limit yet, although Harry could tell that the man was having uncertain thoughts about whether or not he cared for tongue - or perhaps kisses in general. It was difficult to tell. Harry kept the kisses relatively chaste by his usual standards thereafter, coaxing by touch and repositioning until they were closer yet. For a moment or two they were pressed together, and the promise of friction that wasn't Harry's own hand was a relief. Merlin even lost himself and drew Harry closer.

Closer, but not without panicking once Harry began to move. After a few seconds Merlin grabbed Harry's hip in warning. "...stop. I don't... I don't think I can do this."

What came out of Harry was meant to be words, but instead it was a groan. He did, however, stop. And found Merlin staring back at him with tension in his features. Harry could feel it in his body now, too. Harry had slotted up next to him on the sofa, which really wasn't built for two men of their height, but at least he wasn't pinning Merlin down. Still, Merlin didn't look like he was going to move. 

Harry flopped his head down on the cushion. "Too much?"

"Yes, and not exactly." Merlin looked just as frustrated as Harry felt, but afraid besides. Afraid of what was difficult to tell without more information, but Harry could venture a guess. He'd had some concerns that crossing lines might affect their friendship. "I don't think I can. The idea of physical closeness, in the vague and general sense, is attractive. _Too_ close and involved seems to be very... offputting."

Harry groaned into the cushion, only somewhat muffling the sound. He was hard, and pent up after being so now twice in the same span of a few hours. He was plainly not ready to go out and try again, and Merlin was not helping here. Then again, Merlin would probably say the same to him. Finally Harry gave a long sigh and nodded, "Right. Right...," just so Merlin wouldn't think Harry was angry with him. 

This had perhaps not been the best idea, now that Harry reflected back on it. There had always been a certain interest in Merlin's eyes and a certain kind of energy between them since they started sparring occasionally, but Harry had thought back then that more was probably not an option. 

"It's not your fault. You weren't reading things wrong," Merlin clarified with cautious reluctance. "I am interested, but not in the same capacity you need. On multiple levels, as it's perfectly obvious that I don't fall within your usual range. Normally no one falls within mine in any respect, and I thought you might be the exception in more than one way."

Merlin sighed. Harry wasn't pinning him down, but they were still tangled close together. It would have been perfect had sex not factored into the equation, or the vague sense of claustrophobia and violation at having his personal space intruded upon when he was so used to solitary existence. "Do tell me if you change your mind and don't care how Eggsy ends up on your doorstep again. I'm tempted to manufacture such an outcome if it will bring us both relief from this."

Harry smothered another whine into the sofa. The offer, right now, was more than tempting. Thinking about Eggsy was...there was less guilt and general unhappiness involved when it was Merlin next to him and not another small boy Harry could wrap his arms around to forget about everything else. He couldn't forget about everything else. His shoulders dropped when he knew there was still no chance he could let Merlin go through with what he was proposing. Harry lifted his head and untangled their legs, stretching out a little and giving Merlin a little more space if not much. 

"You know how much I'd love to say yes." Harry could tell the small smile on his face wasn't very convincing. It didn't need to be said that Harry wouldn't, so he sighed and lifted himself up. "Shall I break out more whisky, then?"

Merlin caught Harry before he had moved too far. A rare flicker of affection lit up his face, and after a moment of savouring the contact he let Harry go. "If it's to be a day of frustration, I see no reason for it not to be the drunken sort. I'm Scottish, after all." Harry crossed the room to retrieve a bottle and a clean pair of tumblers, and Merlin admired the view. He hadn't expected Harry to pressure him or make disparaging comments, but it was still a relief not to have to deal with any more hurt or disappointment that evening. 

Harry came back and set Merlin's glass down on the table before he lifted the man's feet out of the way and forced him to budge over on the sofa so Harry could sit down as well. He had worried, briefly, that if their encounter didn't go well, or even if it did, that personal space would be changed between them, but Harry didn't feel much different at all. And certainly not as though he had to refrain from his usual casual touches. 

"I'll toast to that." Harry's sprawl was back as he took his first long sip. He wasn't much improved from when he'd arrived as far as the state of his shorts went, but he could at least say that he felt calmer. If only for the fact that he'd given up trying to find relief.

"Why can't you? If I may ask, since we seem to be progressively doing away with all manner of propriety and privacy." Merlin drained his own glass much quicker. Harry himself could be considered something of a lush, so either Merlin had equivalent tolerance, or the man was in a hurry to reach inebriation. Perhaps both, given the recent testing of boundaries and the failures of such. "He'll never know. You refuse to go retrieve him, or let anyone else drive him back towards you. You know as well as I do what sort of life he's heading towards, and that's if he _survives_."

"I'd know. Even if he didn't, I'd hear him in my head telling me exactly how I've betrayed him, again. And I think on some level he would know, even if he'd never be able to prove it." Harry frowned at his glass before he, too, emptied it and went for another. "I won't let him die out there. If it comes to that. But I can't bring him back to me either." They both knew well that Harry did not have power over life and death, even as good as he was, and someday Eggsy's relatively simple job would be replaced with one more dangerous if he didn't get out before he got older. Harry had been dismayed when Eggsy chose not to go back to Andrew's place, and he wished he could say he didn't suspect it had more to do with Eggsy's sense of self worth and ingrained paranoia than the actual likelihood of Harry breaking his word. 

"What if you didn't know?" Harry shot him a look, and Merlin raised a hand and shrugged in acquiescence. "I'm just trying to suss out whether your objection is due to the guilt you'd feel, or worries that Eggsy wouldn't trust you again, or both. You care about ethics and truth a great deal more now than when things started."

Merlin held his glass out for a refill to match Harry's and Harry obliged. "I worry, you know. You haven't really recovered. No one can live in mourning forever."

"I have a feeling it'll be some time before that happens," Harry admitted before he set the bottle back on the table and leaned back into the sofa. "You know what they say about 'the one who got away'." Harry smiled ruefully. "Maybe I could have handled this ethical business better if I'd lost him differently." Harry's ethics hadn't since improved in any other area, but Eggsy was now rather firmly off limits in his mind. He at least had been watching Eggsy's surveillance less over the past month or so. Not anywhere near the level of stopping, but...it had allowed Harry some peace. Peace enough for Merlin to take him away to Belize. Even look forward to it. "I can forget, sometimes, that he's gone. But whenever I remember, it's still a bit of a shock. Like a sudden drop. I don't want to believe it. ...but I think I'm starting to. That feeling is happening less these days." 

"Not exactly a pleasant thought, but have you considered moving? Memories sometimes are harder when you stay in the same place that reminds you of loss. You might feel better if you had a new environment to go with this new segment of your life," Merlin suggested. "It wouldn't be as if Eggsy couldn't find you again, should he come to his senses. I'm still keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble."

Harry shook his head. "I like my house. I like the location. ...and yes, I do have to admit I like the thought that I might leave the light on one night and find him at my doorstep, wanting to come home. That dream might diminish if I moved, but I doubt it would clear my mind." 

There was still the matter of surveillance, Harry knew. Months ago, Merlin had asked him to give it up. Harry had needed more time then, but more time had passed. His mouth thinned as he thought about it and he took another drink to forestall the moment when he knew he'd have to speak. 

"I have been thinking, as of late, about handing surveillance solely over to you," Harry admitted, quieter than he'd been before. He knew he'd have to do it eventually. Either that or he'd have to stop feeling, to be able to watch Eggsy and assess whether the boy was in real danger objectively. Without it twisting a dull knife in his chest for once. Perhaps, Harry thought, this mission--his failure at finding another boy, his failure with Merlin--was a sign that it was time. 

"You know I wouldn't neglect such trust." Reasons didn't need to be stated. They both knew. Within the complicated dynamics of what was between them, something more than friendship, neither of them were capable of the culminating actions expected by society. Each had their own interests and limitations, but Merlin could do this much. Watching over and guarding Eggsy was something Harry desired and would appreciate, and something Merlin was willing and able to perform. "I would let you know if there was anything of concern."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded. He took a deep sigh. "Thank you." 

Looking out onto the balcony, the sun was high and the sky was cloudless. Harry imagined he could hear the ocean like he could hear the occasional call of gulls, but they were up too high. It was, however, a calming sensation to see the horizon stretch so far over such a vast expanse of blue both above and below. He'd like to take another walk down to the cantina before they left. This time with no objective in mind. Just to enjoy the sun and the beach and the sand and let it all sink into him. 

Merlin watched Harry, only partially able to understand. He'd never had anyone who counted as a real friend before - someone whose distress registered and prompted a wish to help relieve it. Under normal circumstances, he'd be observing Harry with a good deal of amusement and personal pleasure. Watching Harry fade and descend into careless self-destruction in his grief had, for the first time in Merlin's life, provided more distress than happiness. He was too involved, too close. Had Harry wished it, Merlin would have arranged for Eggsy to be dragged back bloody and screaming, if he knew it would make his friend happy.

In spite of all that, Harry let his head fall against the back of the sofa and gave Merlin a smile of gratitude. Harry poured their drinks again and they sat in comfortable silence, breaking it on occasion to talk about inconsequential things, or even occasionally veer back to Eggsy. 

The heavy weight of the subject had lifted with the alcohol and perhaps with the knowledge that slowly, as hard as Harry hung on, time was still passing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have waited so long in distress at all this angst, know that next week we begin ( _begin_ ) the turning point. So hang in there and get ready for the ride.
> 
> Also, come join us again this Saturday (3/19) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	36. Chapter 36

Six months later saw Harry back at work with a kind of ruthless focus that was a step above the norm, even for him. His reckless behaviour faded into something more honed, but not any gentler. Unnerving though it may have been to rarely see Galahad smile, unless he was sharing drinks with Merlin in one of their unofficial meetings, he was still incredibly efficient. The other knights did not comment on it other than to express dismay that he did not commonly join them in their informal nights out. Harry did his best at keeping their interest at bay, but he could tell they missed their quietly mischievous Galahad. 

As he'd promised Merlin, Harry had eventually given up the surveillance he'd kept on Eggsy. Merlin watched dutifully and gave Harry updates every so often, but more often than not there wasn't much to tell. Eggsy's routine changed only rarely. 

Harry began to enjoy the missions when he was sent on long trips away from the country. He could wander and feel as though he was either searching for something he would never find, or running from something he'd never be able to let go. He'd had to casually joke with Arthur about sending his new charge to boarding school once just to avoid more questions on whether he'd be ok with the time off. That had put an end to it, fortunately. Harry knew Arthur didn't really care how much time away from home the agents had to take--it was rarely ever asked--but the man had felt like needling him.

As it was, his next mission wouldn't even be outside of London soil, but at least it wasn’t expected to be a long one. Harry sat at his desk with a finger of cognac and scrolled through the background information he was meant to review. His alias had been chosen specifically for a band of international weapons dealers who'd been coming onto British soil illegally and carrying quite an arsenal with them. These dealers were enough of a threat, in fact, that this mission was getting high priority. They had operated with impunity across the boundaries of many countries for years, including ones not so vulnerable to blackmail or bribery. The lack of action from the well-known authorities in the international community suggested that the dealers, and those they networked with, had operatives within law enforcement branches in various countries. MI6 was suspected, and so the job had been passed on to Kingsman by clients who wanted them found and removed from Britain as quickly and quietly as possible, including any corrupted agents or officials who might have covert ties to the group.

Given that they hadn't been in Britain for long, as far as Kingsman reconnaissance could determine, neutralizing the group before they could truly put down roots shouldn't prove too difficult. _Dangerous_ , of course - no one had an accurate idea about what kind of an arsenal the group was packing - but not the sort of lesson in frustration some of the more well-established organized crime rings could provide.

It meant that Harry was going to have to get in, spend some time assessing the situation, and report back to Kingsman so that they could go in and take dealers down without a fuss and without missing anything. Harry was to be given a week to find out who was in charge and who needed to be taken out as well as what kind of defences they had in place. 

No better way to do so than to go in as a potential buyer--an independently wealthy gentleman who wanted to get a foot in the weapons industry by pairing it with his already sizeable investments in software. Namely, tracking and navigational software that could vastly improve the capabilities of the large scale weapons they were selling. Harry would barely have to remember any technical lingo for the role, posing as a trust fund billionaire, but he made sure he did regardless. 

Getting a message to them was the main difficulty. Without having a strong foothold in the country yet, it wasn't well-known on the street how to get in contact. The dealers in question had been in the game for some time, and they knew to be cautious when taking over new territory. They didn't want ambitious cops sniffing around, or rival organizations, or no-name players who had no real concrete assets to offer in return for an alliance. Kingsman had to hunt to find the proper connections. 

Once they did, Harry was on his own. The bait was taken; Merlin confirmed that the shell accounts that had been set up under the name of one James Darby had been subjected to digital inquiries, properties registered to him had been visited, background checks run. Everything was in order enough that Darby was interpreted as a real person, but not orderly enough to set off red flags about a sting. All Harry had to do was wait for a messenger to make contact.

It wouldn't be long. Harry knew this through years of experience, but Merlin came in to give him updates on the situation anyhow. It was appreciated just for the company as Harry was an all work and no play sort of man these days. Merlin perhaps was not in general a friendly face, but he was to Harry, and Harry often cornered him into sharing a drink before he had to leave for his office again. 

The tolerance levels for alcohol at Kingsman would have been legendary if the agency ever had the chance to boast about them. Harry could have justified it by his ability to work in the field with a few drinks under his belt whenever the cover was needed, but he'd never technically had to justify it to anyone.

At last, word arrived.

Harry was to rendezvous with the dealers at a discreet location in the northern part of London - not a particularly well-off neighbourhood, but not the sort of place Harry was expecting either. Perhaps that was the point. Police didn’t have a lot of surveillance there.

He prepared with Merlin as usual, being fitted with the necessary identification and cards. Harry wouldn't be carrying cash and they would not expect him to be. His first visit was simply the introduction, and all exchanges would be conducted electronically. All the better on Merlin's end. They'd been set up for it, as their original reconnaissance team had made contact through secure channels online and only through low level personnel offline. Harry was to have two junior attendants, posing as his personal security and PA, but they would not be accompanying him on follow up visits if he could help it. The job wasn't priority enough to put another agent on it, but Harry still did not like to risk the lives of junior members of their staff and tech team even on an introduction meeting. 

Everything was very routine. So much so that the drive over to the meeting location blended with Harry’s memories of every similar drive in the past. Traveling and waiting, talking and waiting, bursts of action and waiting. Spy work drained so much time. Harry had once resented that, but since Eggsy had gone, he was grateful to be occupied. Waiting for the next stage of a mission meant he had something else to think about than waiting for Eggsy to come home.

The warehouse he was summoned to in north London was obviously a decoy location for preliminary meetings. They all knew as much and Harry kept his glasses moving around the area in search of any branding that would give Kingsman connections to their real base of operations. The group was rather generically named Belmont Industries, but there was no Mr. Belmont to speak of and they seemed to operate under a different business name for each country they worked in, allowing them to pass goods down the chain through a veil of bureaucracy before those goods conveniently disappeared. 

Harry waited for the woman posing as his PA to open his door before he stepped out and looked around with his nose turned up in mild distaste. It was a feigned expression, but not by much. The day was drab and the warehouse they were ushered towards by two men in ill-fitting suits looked poorly kept. 

Two figures, a man and a woman, waited for Harry and his retinue to lead them inside the building. Only the woman looked out of place in a pencil skirt and well-cut blazer that made her look like she was going to a board meeting. Her companion looked much more suited to the warehouse with jeans and weathered coat. He looked like the kind of person meant to intimidate. The coat was large enough and loose enough to hide weaponry, and Harry made a note of it when his eyes skimmed over the pair.

"'ey now. Look who actually showed up." The woman shot the guard an amused look. "What's your name again, Mr...?"

"Mr. Darby, thank you." Harry raised his brows and pulled his face into an openly unimpressed assessment of her introduction. "Do tell if I'm in the wrong place, as I'd been hoping for a meeting with an executive from Belmont Industries." He placed his umbrella before him and straightened his back. Harry knew he was meant to have the upper hand here, initiating such a partnership. Her lack of manners indicated a certain disdain for his type stemming from either overconfidence or something more sinister and it sent a small flag up in the back of his mind. At his sides, the two junior agents eyed the warehouse, but kept their posture on point to their characters. 

"That would be me," she replied with an easy inclination of her head. "Ms. Fornwent, and pleased to be makin' your acquaintance. I thought my partners and I were going to have a right difficult time finding appropriate patrons and investors interested in us bringing our products and services across the channel, but I'm pleased to see it was ill-founded. You're one of several who expressed interest in meeting right after we began soliciting."

"Then I am equally please you've agreed to meet with me." Harry allowed himself a small smile and a nod of the head, slipping into a more gentlemanly nature. He turned to the woman at his right. "This is my assistant, Miss Everett and my valet, Mr. Garner. I hope you don't mind us sketching up a preliminary outline of the services that could be shared between our two companies during the meeting? I know we're merely here for introductions and all, but I like to be ahead of the competition you understand." Harry widened his smile and watched her face carefully. He knew Mr. Darby would be getting anxious for better surroundings soon, but he didn't want to push her yet. 

"Of course. But really, how rude of me. Rick, go get some refreshments for our guests, and the case, would you?" Fornwent smiled at her companion who promptly left for one of the aisles of the warehouse. "Just because we're meeting in such circumstances doesn't mean we have to be _uncivilized_. Partnership is about profit, of course, but also about people who fit well with one another. I've been charged not only with assessing what you have to offer, Mr. Darby, but how you're offering it."

Harry nodded, finding her attempts at manners patronizing at best. "Well, as you know, I have a very good investment in the development of remote tracking and navigational software. Two years ago I'd partnered with the British government for a...well, let's say a rather short term contract. They were willing to pay only three quarters of what I had hoped, but the main issue was bureaucratic restrictions on the various types of technology that they could be used for. National security laws and such. It would have called for redevelopment of nearly half our work. You can understand why I wasn't impressed and...well, chose to seek better offers elsewhere." 

Fornwent's man returned with a cart of tea and biscuits, an almost amusing contrast to their environment. 

Fornwent nodded and looked on approvingly as her retainer served her first, then began passing out cups to their visitors. "As you should. No one should have to settle. That's the beauty of the free market. Or it would be, if it were a little less regulated. We tend to be... _flexible_ in our business associations. Sometimes all you need is the right connections. And speaking of connections, how did we happen across your radar? I'm familiar with a number of our other potential clients, but not with your background." Fornwent waited until everyone had their tea and biscuits, then raised her cup to her lips.

Harry smiled into his tea and pretended to take a sip. "I have people in a few, shall we say unrelated, areas of business. I am continuously surprised that more of my peers don't branch out themselves." Harry inclined his head. "But I am sure there all sorts of things one doesn't share with the public. If you're interested, and I can see that you are or you'd not be meeting with me here today, I'd like to hear more on what types of stock you'd be willing and able to acquire. If this partnership works well, we'd be able to double the price for anything you have to sell to other interested parties."

"Double? So generous, and so quickly. Most prospective partners try to low-ball things a little and keep their costs and profit margins tucked up their sleeves. Or elsewhere," Fornwent added, giving Mr. Darby a flirtatious smile. "As for stock, we run the length and breadth of imagination. Top quality arms and armour. Tactical goods. Prototypes not yet on the market, for the adventurous. Some luxury consumer goods, for those interested in a bit on the side. Mostly traditional and designer synthetics, although we've taken on requests to traffic other sorts of goods from time to time."

Harry nodded along in approval as she spoke. "This will apply to your trade in arms and tactical equipment, but if that is where the majority of your work is done, as I believe it is, then I believe it's a good offer." Harry's demeanour was genial and precise, but he refrained from flirting back. She could get away with it in a setting like this, but it would not help him if he tried. And he had no taste for it either, personally. He nodded to his assistant who had jotted down a few notes in her planner during their conversation. "I'll have Ms. Everett send you a more detailed list of the services our software could offer, and then if you're still interested, perhaps we can look into your commodities to work out a few test products." Harry set his tea next, still full, to the plate of biscuits and refrained from taking any. 

"Oh really, why not have a quick gander right now? Whoever you are. Y'see, we're already acquainted with the Mr. Darby you're trying to impersonate. He's an irritating little twit, and has never had interest in the weapons trade business." Fornwent's face barely changed. She set down her own cup, still amused and teasing. At a hand wave, there were a series of clicks as suppressors muffled the sounds of firing, and both of Harry's junior agents slumped forward. Harry spotted the glint of needles protruding from their necks - some sort of dart.

Harry didn't waste time trying to stall. He grabbed the tea tray and whipped its contents at Fornwent and her guard before he used it to shield his head. Not a moment later he felt the impact of several darts against its metal and knew he'd be dodging gunfire very soon if he didn't contain the situation. 

Fornwent had stumbled back, but the man recovered quickly and barrelled towards Harry. It was easy enough to take him down, spinning out of his way and landing a heavy kick to the back of his head, but it gave the woman enough time to take off towards the lowly lit interior of the warehouse, somewhere between the great rows of shelves. 

Harry sprinted after her. "Merlin, I need an extraction, now." There was a reason he disliked bringing junior agents into the field and this was it. They were down and he couldn't leave them there to escape himself. Carrying them out would take far too much time. There were snipers on the roof shooting between the small windows and his only course of action was to secure Fornwent and use her as leverage in a standoff. 

Harry concentrated on the echo of footfalls while he ducked between the rows. He'd seen where Fornwent had entered, but she was out of sight now, and she wasn't the only one nearby. Too many footfalls for just one running body, and heavier than the shark click of stilettos. Harry ducked and weaved, keeping an eye out for something he could improvise as a weapon before he caught up with his target. 

He'd just caught sight of her again and began closing the distance when there was a flicker of movement at the edge of his vision. Harry felt a sharp sting in the side of his neck just before he turned and raised the tray again.

" _Shit_ ," was the last thing Merlin heard him say before his eyes closed. Harry didn't feel the landing, but he thought vaguely that it was going to hurt running at full speed with his legs giving out from under him. He'd probably barrelled right into one of the shelves, but he'd never know for sure. 

When Harry opened his eyes again, the first thing he noticed was the change in scenery. He was in a room, what might have been an office at some point in its life, but the walls were cracked and peeling and the light was going out. The second thing he noticed was that his glasses were gone, and so were most of his clothes. Harry grimaced as he took stock of his situation. His hands were cuffed behind him to a heating vent in the wall, his body was sore, and he was in his socks, shirt, and shorts. 

The room was rather bare. Most of the furniture had been taken away or moved to one side of the room, well out of reach. From the slight stains on the floor, it was probable the room was used for interrogation. On the positive side, there were worse sights to wake up to, but capture hadn't been on Harry's list for the day and he had no idea if the junior agents had ended up in this predicament with him.

He took a moment to school himself into the right mental state, which involved anticipating what was to come. They had known he wasn't Darby, but they did not know who he was. Since they'd taken his clothes, they'd very likely figured out he had more tech on him than an ordinary member of the Met police could ever hope to use, and would be very curious to find out who he was and who he worked for. Harry saw interrogation in his near future, but probably not an execution. Not right away at least. 

He tested the cuffs against the strength of the heating vent and found it to be unfortunately quite secure. 

Footsteps sounded in the outside corridor, drawing closer by the second. Far too many. Sure enough, the door opened and several people filtered into the room. All of them had a look about them that spoke of experience. The men in the warehouse had been guards; these people were enforcers or interrogators. Or both.

"A man shows up to a meeting, pretending to be a prospective client." A shorter blond man strode out from among the group, hands clasped behind his back. His smile was meant to intimidate, but Harry had seen the tactic too many times in his life for him to find it impressive or effective. "Pretending to be someone we already know. You are not one James Darby, entrepreneur. You aren't a policeman either. London cops don't have the budget for the gear you were packing. Who are you, then? Someone sent to scope us out? Government?"

Harry cocked his head and put on a mildly pleasant expression, but not a smile. "I'm afraid you'll have a time of figuring that out." He knew how this went. He knew he wouldn't be talking for long. Might as well get out whatever snark he had in him before he focussed on dissociation. Harry knew how to talk without saying anything, but more importantly, he knew how to keep quiet. It had been a long time since he'd been tested in this manner, but was something one didn't forget. He raised a brow at the blond scowling at him, and awaited his fate. 

"I'm sure we will. Fortunately, time is something we have quite a _lot_ of." The man shoved his hands into his pockets and raised his chin. Two of his enforcers moved out in a flanking tactic that would have unnerved a rookie, but Harry had seen it all before. He could have described the series of actions before it happened, one enforcer jerking his head back by his hair, the other throwing a punch. Tethered as he was, there was only so far he could twist to try to minimize the damage. 

"Come now. I'm sure you want to spare your young companions. So inexperienced, so tender. Easy on the eyes, too. Far better for them if you just save us all a whole messy ordeal and answer a few simple questions. Hmmm?"

Harry let his eyes close before he smiled. "I very much doubt that." 

They were on their own now, much the same as he was, but once again Harry felt the low boiling frustration that he hadn't gone in alone. It was likely they'd be questioned longer than Harry, since it would quickly become obvious if it wasn't already that he was the most experienced out of the three. Harry had faith in them to keep quiet, as Kingsman had had faith in them, but he still didn't like the niggling feeling that they should have been under his protection merely by virtue of their inexperience. It was fortunate, however, that Harry was very good at hiding that displeasure. When he opened his eyes again, the blond man stared at him keenly, to which Harry merely stared back. 

"The hard way, then. My friends here are going to indulge in a little stress relief, as it's been a trying week. When they're done having a turn with you, perhaps you'll have warmed to the idea of cooperation." The blond gave Harry one last dismissive look and turned on his heel, leaving the doorway open behind him. Already the lackeys he'd left behind were cracking jokes. Two were taping up their knuckles in anticipation of dealing a hefty dose of abuse.

That was to be the way of it, then - beatings first, questions later, and then more beatings when answers weren't forthcoming. Harry slipped into measured breathing as the first blow landed. Ignoring the pain came more easily after that. Like anything else, there was a trick to it. Harry let himself detach and float somewhere just beyond the reach of his body and its pain, untouched.

They weren't practised in the art of it, nor the science, Harry should say. It would have been much more difficult to remain that way had they been. It wasn't pleasant by any means, but the human body could take quite a lot of punishment, and they fell into a rhythm with it. They didn't stray from the tactics they knew, fists to the gut, kicks to Harry's sides, even a bit of choking after a while, but Harry remained lost to it. 

It went on for so long that at one point when Harry closed his eyes and opened them again, he realised that he'd lost a fair amount of time. 

Eventually they grew bored. After a quick check to make certain Harry was still securely chained and that he wasn't about to die of shock, they filed out of the room and shut the door. Harry was left in the silence and the sickly florescent lighting, aching and cold. It would only get worse from there.

Harry could only hope that enough evidence had been left at the warehouse to aid in tracking their location, and that his equipment hadn't been destroyed. Trackers were installed in a number of Kingsman devices as backup in case one was lost or malfunctioned. 

If he was very, very lucky, they'd missed something on the junior agents. He didn't put much stock in that hope, however, seeing how well they'd stripped him down. Even his watch was missing. 

Merlin would be all over his network of surveillance on this, and it was only a matter of time. Thinking of Merlin sank a hook in him, one that was entirely different from the pain of his body. He imagined his friend running frenzied over his monitors. Harry hated to do that to him. Harry had taken many risks, especially in recent memory, but none had ended with him severely compromised and out of Kingsman's considerable reach since he and Merlin had grown closer. Harry refrained from fatalistic thinking. His captors were not at that point yet, he could tell, but he was frustrated all the same that his friend would be in a state of controlled panic over this. 

He sighed and, with an effort, righted himself to see how secure his cuffs really were. 

Unskilled as his captors had been at torture thus far, they weren't lax with restraints. Dislocating his thumbs wasn't going to be sufficient for him to slip the cuffs. Harry twisted until he was able to get a better look at the radiator, then twisted again until he was able to get his feet against the wall. He pushed.

Nothing happened. Nothing aside from further bruises at his wrists, anyways. The radiator hook-up was solid. It was unlikely that he'd be able to jar it loose. Harry was stuck there for the moment.  
He settled in with his back to the wall and listened, but he could hear no footfalls, voices, nor any other sort of movement outside his door. He had to guess that he was either in a sectioned off part of the building, possibly a basement, or business was quiet at the moment. He did his best to take stock of the damage, to move his joints, which his captors had fortunately not focused on, and hope to diminish the swelling. His wrists were going to be raw soon, and when they started swelling, the cuffs were surely going to cut off most of his circulation. Harry pressed them to the cool metal of the radiator and began to go over methods of escape, whether they would become readily available or not. 

An hour and a half passed, by Harry's estimates. Breathing and heartbeats served as a way to try to keep track of time when no other method was available. Footsteps approached, and Harry turned to face the doorway. He was expecting another round of threats, perhaps taunts about the state of his coworkers. 

Less expected was the barrel of a gun he found himself looking down, followed by a hiss and the sting of a dart for the second time that day.

When Harry came to again, his body was aching. It was disorienting at first, but the pain was dulled, much like his mind felt. He blinked and stared across a stained concrete floor, but he could only see so far before he realised it was simply because his eyes weren't open all the way. He blinked again and hazily landed on the point the concrete met a palette of stacked crates next to the feet of a metal shelf, both far off in the distance where the light began to fade away into darkness. He turned his head and found that his cheek was pressed into the cold concrete, and from there, slowly, things began coming back to him. The first stage of his mission. The fight. Being captured and beaten. 

Harry took stock of himself before he tried to move, feeling his hands and fingers, his legs and toes, carefully rolling his shoulders and shifting his hips before he winced. Doubtful anything was broken yet, but he was bruised in sensitive places.

Moreover, he'd been moved somewhere long-term. His captors couldn't know how valuable he was yet, or they would have opted for something a bit more secure than a storeroom, but it also wasn't the same kind of makeshift prison as a spare office. Harry wasn't about to be summarily executed, nor released. The room promised more waiting, more questions, and more pain. Worse, he was now secured to a sturdy metal pole in the centre of the room. Harry had no leverage when he pulled against it.

He'd have to hope that one of his captors got stupidly overconfident and wandered too close, or to lull them into a false sense of security when they tried to transport him a second time. If there _was_ a second time. If he couldn't break himself out, he'd be stuck waiting for whatever cavalry Merlin could stir up, and that was assuming that his partner would be able to track him down.

He could only wait. 

Harry didn't like that plan, but he was forced to take it. He made himself as comfortable as he could, letting the pole support his weight and stretching his limbs every now and again to get the blood flowing. He spent hours waiting like that, and, much to his dismay, was only beaten a second time with the same tactic--questions and then more violence. 

After that, Harry didn't hear from his captors for the rest of the night, but in the morning, he found a foam cup filled with water waiting for him when he awoke. For that, he was grateful. With it came a bit of hope that they still wanted him alive. Or at least able to use his vocal cords for a while longer. 

The third interrogation was more sophisticated. A woman was brought in to try psychological tactics, pretending at sympathy and softness, promising food if Harry would only give her something to work with and present to her superiors. Harry was amused for the short time she was there, but she was only slightly more skilled than the brutes who had tried to beat him into compliance. He played with her while giving her nothing concrete, and eventually her lip curled into a sneer as she lost patience. Harry got another kick in the ribs for his trouble, and the door slammed behind her.

No food presented itself. Neither did anything to help ward off the chill of the room.

The air conditioning was kept on and Harry could only warm up by getting up and moving around once in a while, and that was becoming increasingly difficult now that the first day's injuries had swelled into expansive bruising. Harry suspected he'd receive a second day's injuries in short order, and sure enough, several hours later, the tread of heavy boots down the hall preceded the men who'd beat him the day prior. 

The blond watched as they did it again, but Harry still kept his voice in check. It wasn't as easy to ignore the pain as it was the day before, but he was still nowhere close to breaking yet, and that greatly upset the man in charge. 

When they were through with him, Harry was left there for a long time. No one brought any more water, although he was able to use the empty cup to relieve himself and save a small amount of dignity as well as the floors of the storeroom. 

That night, Harry slept with great discomfort. He wasn't sure, but it felt like one of his ribs might have cracked at some point during the last interrogation, and every breath was mildly painful. 

The third day brought fresh tortures, bright and early in the morning. None of the people Harry was seeing were remotely close to the top of the chain of command, but someone had decided that Harry needed a more skilled touch. A new face was brought to the room, remarkable only for how unremarkable his face was. Just the sort of person to blend into a crowd with the right attire.

Harry's new tormentor stuck pins under his fingernails and into the tender spaces between his joints. He put weight on bruised muscles and bones. A basin was dragged into the room and Harry's skill at holding his breath was put to the test. The torturer watched, impassive to the fact that he was getting nothing in return for his ministrations. He left a parting gift before he exited the storeroom just as blank-faced as he'd entered - a generous mixture of what felt and smelled like citrus, salt, and hot pepper juice, liberally applied and massaged into Harry's wounds before he was left to dwell on his predicament.

He was left on the floor, trying not to move and hissing quietly whenever he did. Eventually he tried to use what was left of the water, most of it on his face or splattered across the floor, to get the substance off, but it was little use even when he got his pained hands to work. Rubbing at it caused even worse pain and he could only get so much off. His shirt had been torn and was damp and cold on his skin, but with the bar between his arms and his hands bound, he couldn't remove it, and he didn't want to be without it once it dried again. 

Harry dragged himself away from the puddle as far as he could and let his mind drift. He thought about nothing for as long as possible. Then he thought about Merlin and Kingsman. He imagined their actions every step of the way to him, but these were repetitions of the same thoughts he'd had the two days prior, so he imagined being home instead. He imagined curling up on the corner of his couch in the lamplight, perhaps with a glass of wine and a good book. The house would be quiet. Mr. Pickle had been showing signs of his age over the last year or so and he didn't snuffle around so often any longer. 

Harry could almost imagine the soft sound of the dog's paws on the carpet. That wasn't what he was hearing, though. Distantly, through the door, Harry could detect quiet footsteps shuffling along down the corridor. This set was unlike the others - solitary, for one, and much lighter. It paused here and there, and once Harry heard another door open down the hallway only to close again almost immediately.

To Harry's surprise, the locks on the outside of the storeroom door clicked, and the door opened. A small boy peered through the doorframe around the box he was carrying. His eyes widened when he caught sight of Harry sprawled upon the floor, but not in recognition. Harry, however, would have recognized him anywhere.

Harry blinked. He may have very well been in his daydream, the vision mixing with the pain in his neck while his head was supported by the pole and confusing him. But some awareness told him this wasn't right. He blinked again and that familiar face didn't vanish as it usually did, lost to Harry's memories. It was about then that he stopped breathing. His brow furrowed and he blinked several times more in rapid succession before he was convinced that what was before him was indeed real. His cuffed hands gripped the pole and tried to draw him up as a burst of adrenaline shot through his veins. 

"Eggsy?" Harry croaked. 

The boy started and nearly dropped what he was carrying. He froze in place, and after a second or two, his face transformed in shock and horror. The pause told Harry that he must appear as terrible as he felt for Eggsy not to have immediately recognized him.

" _H-Harry_? Wh-what... what are you doin' here?" Eggsy started to back up through the doorway, then paused. Harry wasn't coming any closer from the pole he was chained to, and he looked nothing like the suave figure Eggsy remembered. Not even during the times when Harry had come back a little roughed up around the edges from his latest mission. "You're not supposed to be here. You're... were you _followin'_ me again?"

Harry was so caught off guard by the accusation that his face couldn't decide on a proper expression, but the cold dread coiling in his gut began to overtake him as he tried to make sense of the situation. "You work for these people?" Harry asked, voice dropping with what little authority he could muster into it in his state. The sudden rigidity in Eggsy's stance spoke for the boy. " _Shit_." Harry pulled himself up, ignoring the pain. He had to make himself understood. "Eggsy, I wasn't following you. I had no idea you were involved in this, but dammit, you have to leave. _Now_. Quit. Run. I don't care, but _get out of here_."

"Why? 'cause you're here to take 'em down, and that means takin' me down too?" Eggsy gave Harry a sceptical look. Harry appeared to be in rough shape, but Eggsy didn't know that he could trust appearances anymore. He couldn't trust _anything_ where Harry was concerned, evidently, not even to be left alone. "You don't look like you can do much of nothin' right now. How come you're here, anyways? I thought you were gonna let me be and go take care of important stuff somewhere _else_."

"If they realise you know me, they'll turn on you and they'll hurt you." Harry's throat was dry. His voice was more of a whispered croak, but the underlying tension drove him to ignore everything but getting Eggsy to listen to him. " _Please_ , Eggsy. I haven't come for you." 

Eggsy's small brows were still narrowed, and Harry couldn't help taking in all the little ways he'd changed since he last saw the boy. Eggsy was barely any taller, and a traitorous part of Harry rejoiced that he'd not grown up yet, but his eyes and the set of his face was harder. It seemed more an aspect of the life he'd been living as well as the time the anger he'd felt towards Harry had to settle into his features. Harry grit his teeth and jerked against the pole, trying one more time in vain to free himself. To force Eggsy to leave. 

"Why?" To Eggsy's mind, the opposite seemed more likely. Harry had been trying to take down this new group of people his own gang had started to work with. They probably wouldn't know who Harry was, or he wouldn't be sitting in a storeroom tied to a pole. If Eggsy told them who they had, they might reward him for bringing their attention to such a valuable hostage.

Except... they might not keep him as a hostage at all. Eggsy frowned, remembering whispered gossip he'd heard. These new people in town ran more than drugs. They played for more money, which meant they were more dangerous because they had a lot to lose. Eggsy stared at Harry for a long moment, wondering. "Is this all part of your plan, gettin' captured and beat up? To get inside the place?"

Harry had been breathing quietly, watching emotions that didn't belong on Eggsy's face, not in this situation. His strength began to drain and before he knew it, he was slumped back down on the floor. He shook his head. "No. It wasn't." 

Eggsy wasn't going to believe him. The harder Harry looked, the clearer he saw it. He was tied to a post in this little hell hole, just waiting and hoping that Merlin would find him before he died, and to top it all off here now was Eggsy, who'd just as well stepped out of thin air. Was this Harry's fate before he died, to meet this boy again and know that he'd still never receive a kind look or a word of love. Terror gripped him at the thought that Eggsy might be pulled into this as well. 

Eggsy went quiet. Objectively, there was no way of knowing if Harry was telling the truth or not. Perhaps he was lying, but what would be the point of such a lie? To convince Eggsy not to tell his boss who Harry really was?

Eggsy slowly backed up out of the storeroom to glance back down the hallway. No noise or movement greeted him, but he knew he shouldn't dawdle. People who were missing for too long were noted, and if merchandise went missing they got the brunt of the suspicion and fallout from the shortage. "How come you're really here, then, if you're not here comin' after me?" he whispered. "Blokes like you don't just get caught."

Harry looked up. Eggsy was either going to keep this to himself or he wasn't, and Harry would do everything in his power to avoid the latter. But his power had run out. Harry was defeated. 

For a long moment, Harry thought about what Eggsy would think of this information. "We were going to take them out. Not the people you'd originally been working for. As far as I'd last heard, they were still running small time narcotics on the South and East sides." Harry sighed. "We don't typically run into operations such as this with guns blazing unless we know what we're getting into, who we need to take out, and who we need to keep alive. I was sent to investigate personnel, scope, resources, everything, before we decided how best to move forward, but through pure dumb luck one of your new employers happened to know the man I was impersonating." Harry leaned against the post and offered Eggsy a weak smile. How incongruous his thoughts were suddenly, grateful to lay his eyes upon Eggsy just once more. "Currently, they're trying to find out who I work for. I can promise you it will do you no good to tell them, if that's what you're thinking. They'll bury you. Or lock you up in a room like this." 

Eggsy took in the smile Harry flashed at him. The effect was broken by how ghostlike it was, weak and distorted from the beatings Harry had been taking. If Harry wasn't lying about everything, he was in rough shape. The boy licked his lips. "I-... I gotta go. I'm gonna be missed if I'm gone too long." He gave Harry one last conflicted look before he backed away and shut the storeroom door. 

Eggsy hurried down the hallway towards the stairwell. He had other chores that were expected of him, other places to be, but now that he knew Harry was there...

He could get revenge, if he wanted it. Harry had suggested that he'd be punished for letting on that he knew Harry at all, but Eggsy wouldn't have to even do anything. If he left Harry in that room, someone would likely beat him until they got tired of him not talking, and then they'd put a bullet through him. 

The thought left a tight, sick feeling in Eggsy's chest. He'd seen gun wounds since he'd started running drugs. Harry being dead would solve some problems, and maybe it would even dissipate some of the rage knotted deep inside of him. Harry had hurt him, and in a way it had been a welcome sight to see him beaten, bruised, and laid low. Eggsy simply didn't know if he wanted him _dead_.

* * *

The back of Harry's head hit the post when Eggsy was gone. He felt like he was going to be sick. A moment later and he was curling in on himself, his gut tight and churning and prickles running down his spine. "Please, Eggsy, don't be foolish," he whispered over and over under his breath. It became a mantra. If anything happened to Eggsy, here, because of him.... Harry felt very suddenly more helpless than he ever had before, perhaps in his entire career. 

When he could breathe again, he stood and with renewed effort began to try to work himself free of his bonds. 

Hours later, interrogators came again. They tried to be creative again. Ice cold water was dumped over Harry, both to shock him and leave him colder than he'd been before he'd had to deal with evaporation. It was the same questions again - who he was, who he worked for, why he'd been impersonating someone else, what his business interests were. Food and water were brought and placed on a box just out of reach, promised along with good treatment if Harry would just give them the answers they were seeking. 

One by one, the questioners and their guards got tired of Harry's lack of response. They withdrew to talk amongst themselves quietly. 

The only good thing Harry could see was that they had not yet found Eggsy out. They would have brought him up by now if they had. With the boy on his mind, it wasn't so easy to detach himself from the torture, but if Harry hadn't had incentive to keep quiet before, he certainly did now. Gone were his occasional quips and comments. They'd been replaced by silence and nothing more. But Harry remained alert. He tracked his captors with a silent stare even as he laid curled and shivering on the concrete floor. 

"Y'know, I'd be talkin' by now, if I were you," one of the guards laughed. Dark haired and with equally dark eyes, he leered. "You don't give us somethin', the boss is gonna get real tired of you hanging around, takin' up valuable space. It gets decided you ain't valuable, you get to start earning your keep."

The guard made a crude hand gesture, and a couple of the others laughed, although a few mouths also curled in disgust. "Everyone who wants to have a bit o'fun can get some, 'afore you get passed off to Greg. Nobody comes back once he's got 'em. So think long an' hard, 'cause if you give the boss what they want, you might get to walk. You make the boss mad, you become a party favour, or weapon practice."

Harry curled his lip in a half smile that didn't touch his eyes. He'd give them that much and hope that Eggsy would never come back to see him again if that came to pass. If Harry disappeared, maybe he'd finally get the nerve to get out of there. The boy had looked like he felt safe enough, but he wasn't, not if he talked about Harry and not if he messed up some day far down the road. If Eggsy felt anything at finding Harry gone, Harry hoped it was the kick he needed to run. 

The man who spoke raised his brows and waited for Harry to speak, but nothing ever came. 

"Figures. You'll squeal soon enough. You'll just be too late for it to do any good," the guard laughed. "C'mon. I'm itchin' for a smoke. He'll keep for a bit." The crowd filtered back through the doorway, but for one. One of the questioners, a younger boy with mousey brown hair, paused just long enough to move the items they'd been tempting Harry with until they were within reach. They were nothing fancy - a sandwich on a paper plate and a battered plastic cup of water - but they were more than Harry had ingested for a few days.

The men at the door immediately started an argument about it, countered by the inquisitor who insisted that a prisoner starved stupid or dead was no good for questioning or anything else. The door slammed shut and locked, and Harry heard the footfalls grow fainter down the hall until they disappeared entirely.

He moved quickly, or as quickly as he could, for the cup and plate. Instinct strengthened by fear that they might reconsider and come back for the food drove him, but Harry's hands were weak and shaking and he was forced to slow or he'd spill the water. It almost hurt to drink, his throat was so raw and parched. He nearly devoured half the sandwich before he could make himself stop and wait to finish the rest. He kept an ear trained on the hall, just in case, but after ten minutes had passed and his stomach didn't rebel, Harry finished the rest. He was no warmer, but the fear of dehydration, and the slower starvation, faded into the back of his mind and became a comfortable respite compared to the state he'd been in earlier. 

Harry waited out the rest of the day like that, warming slowly and still trying to move as much as he could. His body was stiff and sore, but he'd faired the day better than the two prior as far as his bruising went. 

Harry estimated it to quite late in the evening, perhaps even the wee hours of the morning, when the sound of someone approaching shook him back out of his dazed state. Harry strained to hear, and after another minute metal clicked in the lock. The heavy wooden door swung open slowly in an attempt to limit the chances of any squeaky hinges, and then Eggsy peered in at him through the doorway.

Harry sat up. It didn't seem right that Eggsy should see him in such a broken position. He watched the boy and Eggsy watched him back. Harry's heart rate had picked up again. He hadn't expected the boy to return so soon, and he was still alone, which Harry was grateful to see, but it still gave away no hint as to what Eggsy was up to. 

"What are you doing?" Harry whispered into the space between them, the words 'Missed me?' falling into the back of his mind as what he might have said had he still been a hopeful man.   
Eggsy hesitated. The hardness from earlier was still there, but so was fear... and something else. The boy's mouth opened and closed silently, and it took a moment for him to slide further into the room and find his words. "I don't want 'em to kill you. Brit and DJ were talkin' earlier, an-... they just said they couldn't figure out who you were or what to do with you, so someone would tie up loose ends soon, which is what they say when they're gonna disappear someone. They already did in your two friends. I don't want you dead, too."

Harry couldn't speak. His throat closed up, but he made himself nod so that Eggsy would see it. He made himself think practically. Eggsy may have never wanted to see him again, he may have even hated Harry, but Harry had to shift his expectations to account for that not necessarily meaning Eggsy could leave him there without guilt. 

Harry nodded again and cleared his throat. It felt swollen, and not because of the bruising. "Thank you, Eggsy. You don't know what that means to me." Harry offered him another small smile and tried to put more confidence in his voice. "Merlin and the others are on their way. They'll find this place before long, and I'll need you to be out of the way or risk getting caught in the crossfire."

"You ain't listenin'. You've been here quite a few days, yeah? And if you're tellin' the truth, that gettin' caught and beat up wasn't your plan... they would have gotten here by now. When I ran away you were right on top of me after an hour or so. I'd move and hide and you'd find me again. If your people knew you were here, they'd already have been shootin' up the building. Or am I wrong? 'Cause I don't think I am." Eggsy glared at Harry. He looked like he was trying not to let Harry's emotional displays move him; not even knowing if they were real. He looked like he couldn’t afford to be distracted.

"So what I figure, nobody's come to save you, 'cause for some reason they can't find you for once. You can't get out, or you'd already be busted out. If I don't get you out now, they might kill you tomorrow, so..." Eggsy stepped closer. He eyed Harry with more than a touch of wariness, and one hand slipped into his pocket and extracted a ring of keys. 

Harry stopped breathing. 

"Eggsy...." He looked at the keys in Eggsy's hand up to the boy's face, determined in spite of his uncertainty. That bravado Eggsy had always had. Harry cast his mind out for another way, any other way, but Eggsy wasn't wrong. He was Harry's only chance. Harry took a deep breath. "Alright. Alright.... How long do you have before someone notices you're gone? And how well do you know this place?" 

Harry realised he was trembling ever so minutely, sitting up on his knees, as Eggsy came nearer. It had nothing to do with the chill and everything to do with the boy before him and what Eggsy was prepared to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting for this chapter. 
> 
> Come join us again this Saturday (4/2) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	37. Chapter 37

"It's really late. People are used to me sleepin' all night, 'cause they got me runnin' errands during the day. Nobody's gonna notice I'm gone, or that the keys are gone. I took some of one of the shipments and put it in a drink. They're gonna get in trouble for stealin' product and everyone's probably gonna assume the guy just... dropped the keys somewhere or somethin'." Eggsy shivered, but not from cold. He felt just as nervous as he had the first day he'd run away from Harry, or after that one brief time when Harry had caught him and he'd thought it was all over. He'd never thought he'd be so close to this man again, nevermind _helping_ him. Even now, part of him wanted to reach out and touch the bared, bruised skin in front of him, and Eggsy couldn't fathom _why_.

"I... just hold still, ok? I'm gonna unlock you and then... I've had to run errands all over the building, so I think I can get you out ok if you can walk."

Harry stared at Eggsy as he reached out for the cuffs around Harry's hands. "You've gotten better at looking after yourself," Harry said softly, and he was smiling. His smile much of one, but the first in a long time that he felt in every sore muscle in his face. It brought Eggsy up short for a second, but then his fingers wrapped around the cuffs and turned them so he could get at the lock. Their skin brushed, just barely, but Harry felt it and he knew Eggsy did, too. "This has to be quick. There will surely be motion sensitive cameras and even if there isn't someone on the night watch, the less risk we have of waking anyone, the better." 

Harry's heart kicked up the moment he heard the lock click and the cuffs release. 

Eggsy stepped backwards, nervous. It seemed ridiculous when Harry was stripped down and beaten within an inch of his life, but Eggsy was still deeply afraid of the man. Angry as well, but the anger was tied to the fear. He wasn't quite the same boy Harry had manipulated until Eggsy had given him his heart and his body, but Eggsy still felt... powerless in comparison. Harry could probably kill him if he wanted to, or kidnap and hold him against his will. Eggsy knew the only reason he'd continued to be free since the one day he'd gotten caught was that Harry, for whatever reason, had chosen to allow him to go, and that knowledge chafed.

Harry winced as he drew the cuffs from around his wrists and let them fall to the floor. There were deep, mottled bruises underneath and much of his skin had been rubbed raw and blistered. There wasn't time to inspect his every wound, but Harry paused when he looked at Eggsy and the space the boy had put between them. He tried to force away the frown it pulled his face into. 

"Where is this building?" Harry asked, putting on his business voice. "We're still inside of London, yes? If we make it to the door, I need to know what's outside of it." 

"Yeah, south side. We're in sort of a... not a construction zone exactly, but somethin' like it. Lots of development, but goin' really slowly. A few of the residentials have some people in 'em, but there's a lot of stuff in the middle of goin' up, or still empty. We're in a warehouse sort of thing. There's a fenced off yard outside, with some junk like metal beams and concrete blocks an' such, to try to make the place blend in, but it's a bit hard to get across the yard without gettin' spotted." Eggsy gestured. "Lot of the stuff on this level is storage, locked up behind a metal gate at one of the stairwells to stop people from pinchin' drugs or things to sell for a side profit. I dunno if there's spare clothes, but there's probably some guns or something."

Harry nodded. "If we can move fast enough, I'll need a gun and a pair of wire cutters. I'll have to manage without shoes for the time being." He climbed to his feet and winced, flailed his arm out to catch the post, as his side sent a piercing pain through him. His cracked rib. He didn't miss the look of dull shock on Eggsy's face at the sight of him nearly going down. "I'm alright," he breathed, and tried to stretch, slowly, to bring his muscles back to life. 

"They really did a number on you, huh." Eggsy's shock turned into something softer, tinged with sorrow. It lasted a moment before the boy hardened up again, clenching his jaw and squaring his shoulders. "Are you even gonna be able to walk? This isn't gonna work if you can't. I ain't gonna be able to carry you, and... I don't even know Landon's number, and you have to sneak out of the building pretty far before you get reception. I might get caught before I can call anyone, much less before help gets here for you."

"I can walk," Harry reassured him. Harry would drag himself out of there if he had to, but he softened his eyes at Eggsy, thankful for the concern he'd seen in the boy's face. He stretched as best he could before he straightened again and ignored the sharp pain in his side. And back. And thighs. Harry was not well, but he could move, and he could move quickly if he had to. 

There was only one last thing Harry had to be sure of before they walked through the storeroom door, and he fixed Eggsy in his gaze to tell him. "You realise you can't come back after this, yes? You're going to have to come with me. You don't have to stay with me, but you can't go back."

"I knew that already," Eggsy muttered. "Knew it before I decided to steal the keys. Even if you don't have other agents come through and murder everyone, they're gonna want to know how you got free. None of these new people seem shy about torturin' for answers, even their own. Even if they're innocent. They'd get 'round to me eventually, and I'm not stickin' around here for that, but runnin' means they're gonna be lookin' for me as one more loose end that could go blab to the Met."

Harry nodded once, concise. "Good." They didn't have any more time to waste. He looked around the room again, went over the boxes quickly, but there was nothing he could use. Of course they wouldn't lock a prisoner in the storeroom with weaponry. "Let's get to that other storeroom and get out of here, shall we?" Harry brushed back his hair and didn't try to put on a smile. There would be time for that if they made it out alive, and Eggsy was still looking at him warily. 

Eggsy left the room first, glancing left and right to make certain no one had come down the stairs after him. He led the way down the hall to one of the other rooms he must have been in earlier, dropping off product to be stored for a later sale. Eggsy had to fiddle with several keys before he found the right one and the door swung open.

The room was a mess. Boxes littered most of the floor space, and there was a smell in the air that was easily recognized by anyone familiar with particular substances. Crates and boxes weren't easily labelled, but they didn't have to do much in the way of digging; weapons lockers were up against one of the walls, and when Harry opened a couple, they contained a veritable arsenal.

"This'll do." Harry nodded in approval and took a medium sized semi-automatic with a strap he could throw around his shoulder, and just in case, grabbed a handgun and an extra strap to wrap around his thigh. He may not have been dressed, but at least he was armed. With a bit of searching through the toolboxes next to a weapons closet, Harry found a pair of wire cutters. They were small, but they should do well enough to get them through a fence if they needed to. Harry tied those into the strap before he turned to find Eggsy staring at him. 

Not in fear for once. Or at least, not right at that moment. Eggsy had a slightly glazed look in his eyes, which disappeared quickly once he realized Harry was watching him. Harry had seen the look enough to know what it meant, but he hadn't been expecting to catch Eggsy with such an expression on his face.

"So, um. Do I get to take anything? I'm gonna get shot at whether I've got a gun or not, if they catch us," Eggsy pointed out.

Harry narrowed his eyes, but Eggsy had shot before and he knew it. Against his better judgement, he reached back into the cabinet for a small pistol and made sure that it was loaded. "Remember, keep the safety on until you're ready to shoot. When you are, push it back, hold the gun with two hands," Harry demonstrated, holding it out and aiming it at the door, "and pull the trigger. Just let the kickback happen, don't startle. And only shoot when you're sure of your target." His recap had been brief, but there wasn't time for more. Harry turned the gun and held it out, praying he wouldn't regret it. 

Eggsy took it gingerly. He knew well just how dangerous a gun was. He pointed it down at the ground after making sure he knew where the safety was. "Yeah, I got it. Let's just go, before anyone figures out something's wrong."

"Lead the way, Agent Unwin." Harry couldn't resist. It was strange how he could enjoy these few seconds with Eggsy in spite of everything, his worry over the boy topping all. But Harry had reason to hold confidence in him. Eggsy did know the place. He knew what he was talking about in spite of his age. That feeling warred with the half of him that wanted to scoop the boy up in his arms and run for it, a plan that was far more ill-advised than letting Eggsy find the best route. 

"Didn’t you people have better codenames than just your surname?" Eggsy whispered as they left the room. The trip down the hallway to the stairwell was quick. Harry was badly injured, but he had experience at muscling through such things. He'd pay for it later during his recovery time, but he needed to survive in order to have any time for healing. "Ok, so... halfway up is a metal gate I left unlocked, but it can be squeaky. We're gonna come out at the end of another hallway, like an L shape. Once we get up there, we might get heard, so just watch for how I gesture, ok?"

"Lead on." Harry nodded the affirmative and they moved together down a long corridor. Harry never liked being in spaces such as that, with only the way in and out and long moments of exposure in between, but just as Eggsy had said, they came upon a security fence with the gate he'd left unlocked at the end of it, which they were able to lock behind them and hopefully save themselves a bit of time should anyone behind them catch on. Harry stayed close, and it was hard to tear his eyes away from the small body in front of him, bent low and tense, as they moved, but he kept his distance. 

Twice now he'd seen security cameras, but no sign of life. Either Eggsy was right in that there was a window in which security was lax for the night, or they were going to catch someone's attention very soon. 

They had a couple of close calls. Once, they had to take a detour away from a room where it sounded like people were playing cards and drinking to pass the time. Another time, Eggsy touched a hand to Harry to push him back into a side storeroom while a lone patroller went past down an adjacent hallway. Eggsy had stayed tense in the tight quarters the entire time, almost pressed up against Harry with how small the alcove was.

They finally reached a side door without alarm being raised. Harry could smell the cool evening air of London from their vantage point and hear the pouring rain even before they opened the door. Once outside, there was no telling what would happen. There were bound to be vigilant guards outside the building along with security cameras, even if security was lax on the inside.

The whole week had been unusually chilly with rain, and it was coming down relentlessly. Harry pulled Eggsy in close to the building and they moved along the wall until the boy could point out the edges of the fence in the distance. Harry could now make out definite landmarks in the city skyline beyond and saw that they were, just as Eggsy had said, still in south London. It would only be a matter of getting through the perimeter untouched before they were free. 

"We're going to have to cross the grounds as fast as possible," Harry whispered, eyeing the fence. "I want you to stay in front of me. If there is any gunfire, it'll be coming from behind us. Motion sensors are most likely by the main road, the gate, and the front and rear of the building. If we trip one still..,." Harry's mouth thinned, "we'll just have to move faster."

Eggsy nodded, more nervous now than he'd been in the building. They were almost free, but one possibility was death, and the other was...the unknown. There was no going back even now, but the other side of the perimeter fence was a tangible representation of how many barriers Eggsy was crossing. He would be hunted by his former allies, the people who had sheltered him from Harry until now. It hadn't been a great life, but he'd gotten to live free of Harry's control. After this, he'd be at his mercy again.

Eggsy started to run.

Harry took off after him, hobbling at first, but finding his stride and forcing through the pain. They ran in silence but for their feet pounding against the gravel and the rain coming down around them. 

Harry could see the fence coming closer and closer. They were almost there--halfway, and then a shot whizzed over his shoulder. 

"Eggsy, _get down!_ " Harry shouted before he launched himself forward, grabbing his boy by the back of the collar and throwing him over the nearest pile of junk on the lawn. It had been the first point of cover Harry saw, but he didn't let himself follow even as another shot sailed past his hip. He whirled the other way, going for a smaller mound and set off return fire towards the men coming at them. 

Eggsy had his stolen gun out, safety flipped off, but he was terrified. It was dark, and he was untrained. He could barely tell what was going on, particularly when the outside floodlights came on and shattered his night vision. In the distance, Eggsy could see Harry moving and firing back, and his heart moved up into his throat. Harry wasn't behind cover. There was nothing protecting him from getting hit.

His only cover was his offence, forcing the gunmen to split and go for the ground themselves when they hadn't expected him to be armed. Harry ran, and stumbled, until he made it behind a truck next to the road. From there he kept shooting, but he didn't have the full span he should have had he not had to hide behind the corner of the vehicle. The men had already been too close. There were half a dozen at least, and they were going for both sides of the truck, returning fire to create a blind spot as they ran. Harry was going to be surrounded. 

Eggsy could see enough by that point to see the men closing in. Harry's movement had drawn all of their attention, which left Eggsy unnoticed by the fence. He took a deep breath and tried to remember everything that he knew about shooting - which was very little on the whole. He took aim and carefully fired, and one of the men closing in on Harry yelped and clasped a hand to his side.

He went down a moment later, although he was definitely still alive, just unable to move properly. There was a shout and two men broke off their advance on Harry, guns raised and pointing in Eggsy's direction although they couldn't see him yet. 

Eggsy saw the remaining men close in on the truck, ducking around its corner, but even more pressing now were the two men advancing on his position. And then something happened. Eggsy heard another burst of gunfire and, from behind the truck, saw one body go down and another thrown before he was shot on the ground. Two men went around one side, while Harry came tearing around the other, going straight for the men advancing on Eggsy. He got right in the middle of them before they even saw him, shooting one in the back of the head while grabbing the man's gun and putting it beneath the jaw of the other. Both were dead in seconds before Harry tore the wire cutters free and threw them in Eggsy's direction. 

"Get to the fence!" Harry shouted and rounded on the remaining men, ducking gunfire and twisting between them. 

Eggsy couldn't spare a thought to worry. His hands reached up and caught the cutters, and then he was running and stumbling towards the fence. The only hope they had was getting clear of the fence and becoming lost in the streets before reinforcements arrived, so Eggsy had to concentrate on that: one wire at a time, while gunfire raged behind him. Eggsy reminded himself over and over that he'd seen Harry more than capable of taking care of himself. It was a mantra every time he cut a link - Harry could do this, Harry wasn't dead, Harry would keep them off him, Harry wasn't that wounded, they'd make it out alive.

One link after another, again and again, until finally Eggsy could duck through the fence.

When he looked back, what he saw was a massacre. Bodies were strewn all across the mud and grass, and in the middle of them, Harry stood over the last man with his hand in his hair, dragging him up from the ground with arms flailing wildly before they tried to catch at Harry's arm. Harry raised the gun in his other hand and shot the man in the face before he let him drop. The body slumped to Harry's feet, still bare but for his socks, and Harry stood alone, weight on one leg, in his shirt and shorts with a steady stream of mist coming out of his open mouth at every heaving breath. He looked towards the fence and their eyes met. 

Eggsy froze. Panic welled in his veins as Harry limped closer. He left a faint trail behind him in the grass, but the blood that stained the ground wasn't his own. Eggsy watched with wide eyes until he had to turn his face up to look at Harry, still full of shock. A hand touched Eggsy’s shoulder and pushed. Eggsy turned and went down and soon enough found himself on the other side of the fence, dragged along by Harry away from the shouts echoing across the yard behind them.

Harry led him across a street where they were briefly bathed in light, but then gained the cover of a small patch of trees and then another street. Harry kept going even though he was in a lot of pain. His weight fell hard on every step and he clutched at his side, but he moved quickly until they reached a neighbourhood of residential homes. 

"We need to get to a phone," Harry breathed. "Which means I'm going to need your help again." Another small street down and he looked up the row of houses before he picked one. "Go to that door there, ring the bell and ask if you can use their phone. Tell them you were playing by your mate's house and got lost. You're calling your father. One look at me and they'd call the met." Harry's smile was pained. "What you're really going to do is call Landon. Tell the operator 'mind the gamma correction' and you'll get through." Harry gave Eggsy a number and nodded when he looked towards the house again. 

Eggsy was still shell-shocked. Harry made him repeat the phone number and the pass phrase a few times to ensure he got it, and then the boy stumbled up the walkway and rang the doorbell. At the very least, Eggsy didn't need much in the way of acting skill to feign confusion and worry. He was young enough, and dressed just well enough, that the couple who answered the door didn't assume that he was a dangerous gang member. Harry watched the boy disappear through the doorway and counted the minutes before he'd appear again.

Harry waited under the tree of a neighbouring lawn, knowing he might see Eggsy at the window, but it was doubtful the residents of the house would allow him to go wandering out again. Not unless he saw his 'father' driving down the street. It wouldn't take long after the call, Harry knew, and even though his blood was pumping strong and his energy was only just beginning to fade, he could feel it fading quickly. The cold and the rain only added to the fatigue. 

Moments later, Harry caught sight of Eggsy's face looking through the front window. The boy surely couldn't see him, but he could see Eggsy searching. It sent a bit of warmth back into his bones to see it. And then, the woman who'd let Eggsy in came to his shoulder and looked out, and the boy’s gaze was broken. 

Five minutes of pain and fatigue later, and Harry heard the unmistakable sound of Eggsy's 'father's' arrival. Relief like nothing he'd felt in a long, long time washed over him as he looked up to the sky and saw the blinking lights of Merlin's helicopter.

Moments later, shouts came from the house. Eggsy had also heard the sound of the helicopter and dashed for the door. The good people he'd bothered had been expecting a car to see the boy back to the safety of his family, and definitely not for the youth to go running onto the street at the sound. 

The helicopter stopped and hovered, and a second later a rope lift descended. Merlin wanted a quick extraction, without the added trouble of a take-off and landing or leaving the copter vulnerable on the ground.

That was when Harry emerged from his hiding place. He limped towards the centre of the street, right where Eggsy was headed, and held his hand out to gesture that he go first. 

Harry caught sight of Merlin, hovering over the open doorway behind the other pilot. His face looked pale, but his eyes caught on Harry right away and Harry offered up a relieved smile. Then he turned to the small family who'd helped Eggsy, who'd stopped at the end of their drive in shock, and waved them a quick thanks before he grabbed hold of the ladder and did his best to hoist himself up behind Eggsy. 

Merlin activated the motor to retract the ladder, which made it easier. Harry mostly just had to hold on until the last of it, and then Merlin was reaching down to help them both into the passenger cabin. The helicopter began to ascend as soon as the pilot saw they were clear.

To Harry's shock, he found himself pulled closer and encircled in an embrace, only loosening when the pressure aggravated Harry's ribs and caused him to flinch. "I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to kill you for getting yourself die on the job."

Harry laughed with relief, just barely able to hear Merlin over the deafening blades above them. "No dying today, thanks. Not for me." He slung an arm around his friend's neck and let himself sag before Merlin slammed the door shut and the whipping winds and the noise faded away. Harry's pistol clattered to the floor as Merlin helped him down onto a seat, but his eyes caught on Eggsy, who'd crawled up on the seat opposite them and was watching with some apprehension. 

Harry sighed. He was just happy they both got out alive. 

Merlin paused for a moment, and when it was apparent that Eggsy wasn't going to move, Merlin opted to mostly ignore him. "Right. Well, I'd like a brief recap of everything, if you're feeling up to it. Full debriefing can wait. I'll also need to know what injuries you've both sustained." Merlin shot Eggsy a pointed look. "I can take care of a few things that might need immediate attention with the medical kit on board, but we're going to need to get Harry to Headquarters at the very least."

Harry nodded and rested his head back against the seat, watching Eggsy watch him. That was Merlin's translation for 'how the hell did you wind up here with this boy, of all people?' 

"I've probably cracked a rib, but I doubt I have any serious internal injuries." Harry shrugged the shoulder strap of the semi-automatic over his head, with help. Merlin had been eyeing his dirtied and bloody shirt along with the welts webbing up from his collar, the ones that ran all the way down to his legs, too. "You saw how they discovered my act as Mr. Darby. It was interrogations after that. They have no idea who Kingsman is; just lucky." A slow smile dawned over Harry's face as he looked at Eggsy. He was too tired to compose himself, or even care. "It turns out someone we knew was working for dealers who'd recently branched out to bigger and better trades. That someone stumbled over me locked up in a storeroom."

"I see." Merlin didn't see. Harry could faintly hear a tone of incredulity in his voice while the man glanced at Eggsy, surprised that the boy had opted to save Harry rather than make his captivity worse. Eggsy bristled and curled inward on himself, defensive and acutely aware of the fact that he was stuck in a helicopter with the two men who'd conspired to rip his life apart.

"And then you messed everythin' up again," Eggsy groused. His current location only reinforced what he'd known was coming. In saving Harry's life, he'd put himself at the man's mercy again. "I'm _completely_ fucked. They're all gonna know I'm gone by now, an' that I got you out, since we got spotted. I'm not gonna be able to do _anythin'_ on the street no more. They're gonna have people lookin' for me to take me out."

Harry frowned. He squeezed Merlin's arm where the man still steadied Harry. Harry needed to handle this. "Yes. That life is over." He could have said everything he'd wanted to say for so long, how Eggsy was better than that anyway, how he'd never deserved such a life. He could have asked the boy whether he really could imagine nothing but growing up without an education, knowing only one trade that would put him in danger no matter where he went. But Harry didn't have to now. Because it _was_ over and there was no going back. "You'll have to find a different one now." 

"An' how _exactly_ am I s'posed to do that, huh? I'm back where I started. My mum is still an alcoholic and dating awful blokes, or she was last time I checked in on her, which wasn't that long ago. I got no more family to go to. Any of those kid homes, they're all in spots where people know people, so I'll get found by people who want a little revenge for me lettin' you loose and skippin' out on 'em. An' I ain't been to school in a while, and I'm too young to get a proper job even if someone would take me." Eggsy felt despair well up in him, and to his horror his eyes started to tear up. He'd known he'd have to face this. He'd been worried about his future for some time, more so now that everything had been suddenly cut off, but the decision had almost been made for him. Once he had realized that Harry was likely to die if left in that storeroom, Eggsy couldn't stomach the thought of leaving him there, knowing he'd killed him and living with that for the rest of his life.

"Eggsy." Harry leaned forward, careful of his side, and reached out. Eggsy flinched away from him, but he caught the boy's wrist and held on, didn't pull forward, but didn't let him pull back either. "We'll worry about it in the morning, yes? It's not over. I owe you more than I can ever repay. You won't be out on your again." Harry searched for his eyes. Eggsy's lower lip trembled and his breaths came fast, fighting back tears. Merlin crouched at Harry's side and Harry could feel Merlin's attention on him more than it was on Eggsy, but Harry couldn't break his gaze. 

"Just... let go, stop touching me, I _can't_ right now." It was too much. Being back in Harry's presence, remembering everything between them and what Harry had done, was difficult enough. Eggsy couldn't handle Harry staring at him, smiling at him, touching him with familiarity and reassurance like nothing had ever gone wrong between them. "I know it ain't over, but I don't know what I'm gonna do now."

Harry pulled his hand away and sat back. He sighed, but it was due to tiredness more than Eggsy's words. It hurt, but they were alive, and nothing would top that. Harry looked at Merlin, and offered him a half smile. Merlin would know what it meant without words. Eggsy's presence at HQ wouldn't be exactly welcome, but neither would it be strictly prohibited now. They were going to have a long day ahead of themselves tomorrow, and unfortunately Merlin was going to have to keep tabs on Eggsy if Harry couldn't. 

Merlin didn't look thrilled at the notion that he was, yet again, stuck minding the boy for Harry's sake, and Harry caught him muttering under his breath as he retrieved the med kit and ignored Harry's tired protestations. Harry couldn't exactly blame him for his sour mood, after worrying for days only to be greeted with another set of problems and one very beat-up agent he was supposed to be responsible for, but Harry also suspected that Merlin was patching the minor wounds he could get to with the most uncomfortable disinfectants he could out of irritation.

"I hope you're considering what you're going to tell Arthur to explain all of this, given what he's been told about where Eggsy's been," Merlin pointed out. 

Harry caught Eggsy watching him with another lie on his tongue. He gave a heavy sigh. "We'll deal with that when we get there. Just...try to keep him out of Arthur's sight in the meantime." 

It didn't take them long to return to the estate. As soon as they landed, Merlin and the pilot helped Harry out and into the waiting hands of the medical staff. Eggsy trailed behind them through gilded hall after gilded hall, all the way down to the less ornate portion of the facility, but he was kept out of the room they swept Harry off into and told he was to wait in one of the guest's quarters instead. 

The room was better than the cubbies and couches and other places Eggsy had been sleeping since running away, but stark and harshly lit. Eggsy sat on the edge of the cot and looked around. It had the feel of a prison, in a way, which was fitting enough. Eggsy was trapped in the choice he'd made, and now he'd have to live with the consequences.

Some time later, a knock came at the door. Eggsy wanted to yell at whoever it was to go away, but before he could speak, Merlin ducked into the room.

"Wot you doin' here?" he asked from the cot. If the man had expected him to ask how Harry was, Eggsy wasn't going to play along. He was still uncertain what they were going to do with him, and if he didn't like it, whether he had any hope of escape. Fantasies of slipping off and somehow escaping to a foreign country had been filling his head, maybe even one of the places he'd visited that summer with Harry, somewhere he felt like he knew even just a little, but those fantasies were old and tired now. He had gone off on his own with nothing before, and his thoughts weren't so glamorous now, if even possible. 

"I'm here to check on you. I won't bother asking how you're doing, as that's plainly obvious." Merlin crossed the room and took a seat on the cot beside Eggsy, although he left a good deal of room between them. "You're likely in shock, and I wouldn't blame you for that. If you feel like you can stomach something, I can have food brought here, or I can take you to the cafeteria if you'd rather not stay in this room. I also need to know if you were hurt during the fight."

Eggsy shifted away from Merlin and looked him up and down. He was hungry, or he thought he probably was, but mostly he felt numb interspersed with moments of panic and despair before he went numb again, like the whole night and his future kept crashing back down on him and he couldn't escape it. Maybe that was what Merlin meant by shock. 

"'m not hurt," Eggsy said after a moment. "...what do they got to eat in the cafeteria?"

"Quite a lot. This is a big place, with a lot of employees, and people are working around the clock." Merlin contemplated what to suggest; heavy foods were good for shock, but he was also dealing with a child's palette. "Usually a couple tureens of soup are always on hand, but I would guess you'd be more interested in the grill. The chef on staff can make whatever you want to order. There's also a section for ordering Indian food, if you're partial to that. A lot of the staff are."

Merlin shrugged. "There's also an ice cream machine in one corner. Surprisingly popular, given how health-conscious so many of us have to be, but training does burn a lot of energy."

Eggsy's brows furrowed, but he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, from what he'd seen of this place the first time. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to eat, but he nodded, thinking that maybe if he got out of this room, he might be able to think of something else than the future plaguing his mind. "'kay." 

With that, Merlin let him out of the room and led him back down long halls to their destination. The cafeteria was furnished more like the upper portions of the building were. With actual tables and no plastic and everything, it looked more like a restaurant, but true to what Merlin had said, there was a buffet and a menu to order from if what they wanted wasn't already available. Even at such an hour in the morning, they were welcomed by a small staff of servers and asked for their orders. 

Eggsy, in the end, just picked out a small sandwich with tea and ice cream. 

Merlin also bought a sandwich and some coffee. Eggsy would be more likely to eat if he wasn't eating alone, and Merlin suspected that he wasn't going to be getting any rest for some time yet. He felt close to collapse and certainly looked it with the dark circles under his eyes from working overtime to find Harry, but the job wasn't done yet. Harry would have to pass his mission off to another agent and handler team, and then Eggsy would have to be dealt with.

Merlin couldn't begrudge the boy the additional hassle. He'd been key to Harry surviving.  
They sat down at one of the tables and ate quietly. For Eggsy it was slow going. He took bites of his sandwich and ate half the ice cream, but he did drink his tea. About five minutes after they arrived, Eggsy saw one of the servers dishing up a container of soup and another cup of tea before he carried it out of the room, and instantly he suspected he knew where that man was headed. Again, he fought back the urge to ask if Harry was ok. Eggsy knew he was ok. Or he seemed to be ok, if he wasn't lying about internal injuries. Eggsy had seen him fight like....like nothing Eggsy had ever seen before. 

"Eggsy." The boy's attention was drawn back to the man sitting across from him, sipping coffee. Eggsy remembered him as imposing, even threatening, and more so once he'd realized how Harry's friend had been tied to the cameras that had allowed Harry to track him down, but right then Landon just looked haunted, tired, and all the smaller for it. "I don't pretend to know why you chose to save Harry's life, but I appreciate it more than you can understand. I realize you're just as poorly inclined to put any trust in me, but things will work out, and I'll help in whatever manner I can."

Eggsy didn't know what to say to that. It was...almost unsettling that this man was offering help now, and gratitude. Just like it had been when Harry had done the same back in the helicopter. Eggsy didn't know how he felt about accepting their help. He didn't even know what that would mean. So he shrugged one shoulder and, again, tried not to think about the way he'd found Harry, unexpectedly, and everything he'd had to think about after that. The way Harry had looked with his arms wrapped around that post, half his face a mottled bruise that looked even worse underneath his collar, the way he'd moved when he saw Eggsy.... It wasn't like Harry normally moved. Eggsy had never imagined seeing him that way before, and even now it was hard to think about. 

"Dunno what I'm gonna do," Eggsy said when Merlin didn't stop watching him. 

"You have some time to think about it, and to find options. I realize you probably feel trapped at this point, but you don't need to be. You will most likely have to accept our help to get set up in whatever new life you choose, but I imagine right now you fear that Harry is going to, more or less, restrict your choices so that you're forced to live with him." Merlin sipped at his coffee and appraised the boy. He knew he couldn't be far off the mark. "You don't need to worry about that. If you don't wish to stay with him, you won't have to. It would take some time to get you set up with a foster family, but it's possible and one option. We can look into programs and private tutors to get you caught up in your schooling and plan for university, if you still have a desire to go. You're not going to be trapped or forced into anything."

Eggsy shrank into himself even though Merlin's words were meant to be comforting. They should have been comforting. But Eggsy had gotten used to...expecting certain things from the world. He couldn't think of any foster family who'd want him, and even if they thought they did, he knew better than to think he'd fit in. But he nodded anyway, just to show that he'd heard Merlin. He didn't have the courage just then to talk back to this man, even if he didn't look as intimidating as he usually did. Eggsy still didn't know how he'd react, or how to deal with him. Harry was easier to lash out at. It was strange though, when he thought about just how well Merlin, or Landon as Eggsy had known him, must know Eggsy by now. Or how many intimate moments he'd seen in Eggsy's life even if he didn't get to _know_ Eggsy. 

Eggsy finally looked up, not knowing what to do with that thought. He looked back down at his plate and one feeling washed over him. "'m tired."

"I'll take you back to the guest room, then." Merlin got to his feet and walked Eggsy back through the hallways towards the small room that had been appropriated for his use. Headquarters was intimidating in a very different way than the places Eggsy had been living, and just as dangerous. On the streets, Eggsy knew the people around him and what the rules were, what to do and what might happen. Here, underground and surrounded by deadly strangers, all of whom were part of a powerful and secret organization like cogs in a well-oiled machine, Eggsy felt powerless and fragile. He didn't know the rules, and he didn't have an escape plan if things turned sour. 

Merlin dropped him off at the room, and Eggsy would have to stay there.

That night Eggsy's sleep was filled with half dreams and half nightmares in which Harry had found him again, but then it changed into Harry being captured, Harry being tortured while Eggsy and the people he'd worked for looked on. Vivian had put a baseball bat to Harry's back and ribs. Bastian had stood by his side and made comments about the upper class. Eggsy dreamed Harry was dying and he was too terrified to do anything because if he helped Harry, then Harry would catch him up in his web again and there would be no escape.

* * *

A soft knock at his door woke him, disoriented and not recognizing the room he'd fallen asleep in. A second later, the handle turned and revealed Harry standing in the doorway, dressed this time in a pair of dark pyjamas with bandages poking out from under the collar and one resting over the bruising on his cheek. 

Eggsy recoiled in terror, still half-caught in nightmares. Harry appearing in such a strange, unfamiliar setting had the feel of a dream to it, particularly when the rest of his dreams had featured the man, but after a moment memories of the previous night came flooding back. He remembered helping Harry escape, and the gunfight in the rain, and the terrible injuries that had nearly made Harry fall when he first tried to stand. Eggsy remembered the helicopter ride back, too, and the sad look Harry had given him when he'd asked not to be touched. It was similar to the expression Harry wore right then, watching Eggsy where the boy pressed himself back against the wall in response to the visitor in his doorway.

"Not a very good morning, I see," Harry broke the silence. "Thought I'd ask whether you'd like anything for breakfast. And to let you know that you're welcome to come out and see the grounds whenever you're ready. Those in charge have been notified you're here and you won't be bothered." Harry managed to wipe away some of the expression, to turn it into something softer, more placid, but Eggsy could still hear it in everything Harry didn't say. 

"Oh." Eggsy's mind took a second to catch up. He'd never been a morning person at the best of times. "I-... y-yeah, I guess. I thought I was stuck in here, until..."

The remainder of that thought was no more tactful, so Eggsy abruptly changed topics. "I was having nightmares, 'fore you knocked. Gettin' shot at, you gettin' beat up. I didn't really expect you outside of my actual room, right after that. You must be doin' alright, if they let you out of the hospital?"

Harry blinked, surprised a little at Eggsy's willingness to talk. "I am. A few bandages and a bit of rest and supper, and I'll be feeling better in no time." It was hard to tell whether Harry was downplaying his injuries, and Eggsy noticed the cane in Harry's left hand, tucked into the folds of his pyjamas and only just visible. He didn't have his weight on it just then, but it must have helped him walk. Sure enough, when Harry stepped inside, he was slower than normal and he used it to take some of his weight. He left a good distance between himself and Eggsy, but pulled a chair over for him to sit upon. "And how are you feeling this morning? Besides those nightmares."

Even with the distance, Eggsy could feel his internal tension rise the closer Harry got to him. Hearing his voice brought back a flood of memories. Eggsy found it difficult to look at Harry, but impossible not to. He knew Harry was dangerous even when injured. He'd seen proof of that last night. That wasn't, however, the only reason Eggsy found himself scanning over Harry's features, lingering on familiar spots and examining each bandage and bruise. "Not that great. Kinda sick, I guess."

Harry nodded. "You went through a lot last night," he began, although that wasn't the only reason Eggsy felt sick. "And you did very well out there. You saved my life, Eggsy." Harry closed his mouth, words failing him. There was too much to say and no good way to put it all into words. Harry moistened his lips and reached for the only thing he be certain he could express at that moment. "Thank you." 

Eggsy nodded. His throat had closed up, throttling everything he wanted to express. Harry was looking back at him with the same caring warmth Eggsy remembered, and he had to avert his gaze to the floor in order not to be overwhelmed. Not to be drawn in and wanting to touch the Harry he thought he'd known. Eggsy licked his lips and his voice came out in a harsh whisper. "I wasn't gonna leave you to die. I couldn't do that."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Harry look away. Just as Eggsy had done. Harry nodded, and it seemed that he couldn't speak either. His lips parted and then closed. A minute passed before Harry tried again. 

"Let's go get some breakfast, shall we?" He pushed back the chair and had to use the cane to stand, but he stood straight when he was up, still a good distance away. He looked composed on the outside, but Eggsy could tell he wasn't. 

"Y-yeah, okay." Eggsy didn't really want to go. He didn't want to have to face Harry, or anyone else who worked for the organization. He didn't know if his stomach would keep any food down, given that it felt like it was twisted into knots.

But he didn't want to stay in that room all day either, waiting until the next visitor came to see him. Eggsy didn't have the luxury of not having to deal with Harry right then. He'd saved the man's life, and for the moment they were stuck together. Eggsy got to his feet and tugged on his clothes, which were a bit rumpled from sleep and not exactly fresh, but serviceable. The realization that he was back to not having a change of clothes hit Eggsy a moment later and his mood plummeted. All of his belongings had been back at the warehouse or at Vivian's place.

Harry had looked away for most of that, but when he caught Eggsy glancing down at his jeans and his jumper, he caught on quickly. "You still have all your old clothes at my place, and other things. I can see that they're brought to you, wherever you go." 

When Eggsy looked up at him, Harry looked away to the door like he was itching to get out of there, or perhaps just to avoid Eggsy's judgement for keeping such things. He had no idea Harry still kept them tucked away in Eggsy's room. He'd straightened it up and kept it tidy while the boy was supposedly away at school, but Harry generally didn't have visitors who’d notice. 

"How come you kept my stuff, if I wasn't comin' back?" That didn't make any sense to Eggsy. All he could think was that maybe Harry had been so confident that he'd come running back as soon as things turned difficult, living on the street, that Harry had kept Eggsy’s stuff in anticipation of his return, but surely after enough time passed, Harry would have realized that Eggsy wasn't going to come back. Eggsy shoved his hands into his pockets and frowned at the floor. "Don't matter, I guess. Won't fit anyways. I've grown a bit since then."

"Ah." Harry frowned as well, embarrassed he hadn't taken such an obvious factor into account. "Well then. I'm sure we can find you a spare set of pyjamas while your clothes are in the wash, and get you some more as soon as possible." He moved for the door, needing to end the uncomfortable thread of conversation for the moment. Harry held it open for Eggsy, but his body language made it clear that he was ready to move when Eggsy came closer. 

Eggsy didn't want to walk past Harry, or even get too close, but refusing to do so would be tantamount to declaring that he was afraid of Harry. He _was_ afraid of Harry, but he didn't want to admit it. Harry wasn't going to suddenly murder him, or kidnap him as far as Eggsy knew. It wasn't like the man was going to corner him and start ripping his clothes off, either. Eggsy had the misfortune of picturing that thought just as he'd stood up straighter and begun walking for the door, braced against flinching back from Harry. A flush of colour crept across his cheeks and he ducked his head.

Harry waited only as long as he needed to before he let the door shut behind Eggsy and they moved out into the hall. Harry led as casually as he could with his injuries, but he made no sound of discomfort and kept their pace up. Eggsy had to wonder whether he was putting more effort into looking together than he was letting on. 

They passed other personnel occasionally, and Eggsy had to step behind Harry a few times to let them by, but walking the halls wasn't as bad as being cooped up in a room with Harry alone. 

When they arrived at the cafeteria, Eggsy could already smell fresh pancakes. Harry took them up to the counter to order, and the server didn't appear to pick up on the tension between them, smiling genially to Harry when he asked for a plate of waffles and a coffee. 

"Waffles an' juice, please," Eggsy replied when it came time for his order. Things were going well enough until the server brought both plates of waffles over, glancing between the two of them before making a comment that 'his boy' was adorable. The woman clearly thought they were father and son. If staff knew Harry well, they would probably remember that he had adopted a son. Eggsy still froze for a moment, his blood turning to ice water. He couldn't even force himself to smile at the server. He took his plate and retreated for a table.

Harry, however, didn't miss a beat and thanked the woman politely. Eggsy didn't hear whether Harry explained away his behaviour as just shy or moody at being called adorable, but the server didn't look like she thought anything of it as Harry departed and she went back to work. 

Eggsy had picked a table as far away in the corner as he could, and Harry didn't say anything about the encounter when he sat down opposite. He simply sighed and sipped his coffee before he reached for the syrup and began to pour it over his breakfast. Harry couldn't stay silent forever though, not when there were that many loose threads left between them. "I've been looking into places you might stay over the next few days, while we decide where you'd like to go from there."

"Oh? Like what?" Eggsy wasn't able to keep the defensiveness out of his tone. He was resentful that, once again, Harry had profoundly altered his life course, even if it was partially due to his own choices this time. Eggsy told himself that he hadn't had a choice. Harry being there the way he'd been had forced him to act, and so the dissolution of Eggsy's life was Harry's fault. "Some poor bastard 'ere gonna get stuck with me as part of their job, 'cause they're gonna get ordered to take me in? Or is it somethin' else, 'cause you can't let anyone here know what happened with me?"

Harry shook his head. He was becoming more accustomed to Eggsy's biting accusations, or at least a little more prepared for them. "No one here, unless you'd like to stay with Landon." The corner of Harry's mouth lifted and Eggsy scowled. "A temporary foster family, rather. I have a couple in mind, that still need looking into, but at first glance...each of them seems like a decent home to go to in the interim." At Eggsy's narrowed eyed scepticism, Harry explained further. "All they'll know is your mother's situation and that you've been stuck in the system for a couple years since then. Of course we're not going through the actual channels of the local authorities, but...you still will not have to deal with me, should you not want to."

Eggsy's frown deepened. He hadn't expected Landon to be telling the truth at all, and yet here was Harry magnanimously keeping his hands out of the picture. Supposedly. "You're really gonna do that? And you think I'm gonna buy that you're not gonna bug the entire place and manipulate those people until they do exactly what you want? I'm not that dumb anymore."

A change came over Harry as the seconds passed. His face had been sombre before, almost accepting of Eggsy's spite, but now his face turned cold as Eggsy watched. "I let you live in a drug den for more than a year and did _nothing_ ," Harry spoke under his breath, but Eggsy heard him as clear as if he were the only voice in the cafeteria. "You could have _died_ out there and I'd have--" Harry bit back the rest. "Do you think you're any less safe from my reach in a house as you were running around London?" 

"No, and that's the bloody _point_ , you fuckin' _wanker_ ," Eggsy growled. The effect of his anger was only slightly reduced by his size and the higher, childish pitch of his voice. "Even when I escaped from you, I never could! You bloody well made it clear you could've come snatched me up any time you damn well pleased, and I didn't forget it for a second. I had to keep wonderin', every time I went out, if that was gonna be the day. If I was gonna hear that somethin' went down with my mum. If you were gonna roll up in a car an' drag me off. You were always watchin', and I was never really free of you, 'cause you were in my head too. And then I had a chance to really get free of you, and I _couldn't_."

Eggsy looked down at the plate of waffles in front of him, fighting back tears and rage. "I couldn't let you die. I thought about it. 'bout how then I wouldn't have to worry no more. You wouldn't be right behind me, just waitin' to snatch me up, or hurt people to get to me. But I _couldn't_. I thought about livin' with you dead, knowin' I'd killed you 'cause I could've saved you and I didn't, and I got all sick just thinkin' of it. An' I _hate_ you for that."

Silence fell between them but for Eggsy's heavy breathing. Harry looked like he'd been slapped. He wasn't cold any longer. He was anything but, lips parted and eyes wide. "I...," Harry's voice wavered. His hands shook when he lowered them to the table. He had no smooth reassurances to offer or seemingly intimate advances. Not even a quip that Eggsy had missed him after all. Harry simply looked wrecked. 

"I shouldn't be doing this to you," Harry finally said, quietly. His fists clenched atop the table and then he rose, putting his napkin down and taking up his cane. "Merlin will see to it that you find a place to stay before you decide on somewhere more permanent." Harry wasn't looking at Eggsy anymore. He stepped away from the table, leaving his breakfast forgotten behind him. 

Eggsy watched him go with red-rimmed eyes and an angry, sorrowful mouth. Gone was the pretence of smooth control and a facsimile of grace. Harry was too distraught to hide the pain of his injuries, physical or emotional. Eggsy had thought that it would feel good to hurt the man just a little bit, and it did, but it hurt him at the same time. Eggsy wanted to run after Harry, and he couldn't have said if he would have hugged him or punched him once he caught up to him.

The impulse eventually won out. Eggsy abandoned the table and his own breakfast. Part of the boy even wanted to laugh, as he tailed the retreating figure just exiting the room. Harry had spent so much time stalking him, and now here he was, following Harry when he didn't want to be followed.

Harry half turned to look over his shoulder as he ambled down the hallway, but he didn't stop. "Go back and finish your breakfast. I'll not have you accuse me of trying to starve you. You've said quite enough already." Harry turned away and focused on walking, but Eggsy was still too fast for him even when he wasn't trying to moderate his steps into a natural gait with the cane. 

"You ain't starvin' me. You never did, and you ain't startin' now. You sure as shit are runnin' away now that you gotta deal with what you _did_ do to me, though." Eggsy sped up until he was right by Harry's side, keeping pace with him. "You owe me. For everythin', and especially for savin' your life. You don't get to walk out on me now."

Harry whirled on him right there in the hall. "I _do owe you_. I _am_ running away. Isn't this what you want? What more could I offer you? I'll see to it you're set for life, wherever you want to be, and, barring completely unforeseen circumstances in which I am captured by arms dealers you just happen to be working for, _you will never see me again_. If there's anything else I can do, tell me now." 

Eggsy couldn't explain what happened next. Harry's words triggered a flood of conflicting emotions. The boy's hands curled into fists and he barrelled into Harry, punching and kicking and driving him back against the wall of the hallway. Harry must have been taken by surprise, or perhaps only making a half-hearted attempt to defend himself, because one of Eggsy's fists collided right into his injured ribs.

Harry jerked and curled downwards. Somehow, only a moment later, he found himself with the boy's arms around him and tears staining his pyjama shirt while Eggsy stifled the beginning few hitched breathes that signalled a breakdown.

For a moment Harry couldn't breathe, but whether it was because of Eggsy's well placed fist or at the shock of being hugged was hard to say. He crouched down to the floor until his legs could sprawl out underneath him, Eggsy still curled around his chest. 

Slowly, carefully, with a pounding heart and breath he barely dared draw, Harry wrapped an arm around Eggsy's back. When his sobs hitched, but didn't stop, Harry wrapped the other one around him as well. Eggsy's hair brushed his cheek when he bent his head, and Harry found he could barely speak. "I'm sorry, Eggsy. I'm so sorry."

Once Eggsy started crying, he couldn't stop. Everything he'd bottled up since he ran away bubbled to the surface with interest. Eggsy felt split down the middle. He missed the man he'd fallen in love with. He hated the stranger who'd taken his place. Harry was both in one body, repelling and drawing him in at the same time, familiar and unknowable. Eggsy didn't know what to do, and so he clung and wept for everything he'd lost and everything that had happened and all of the pain he felt.

Harry hung on. Eggsy could feel the man's heart beating, solid against him just as his own beat wildly. Harry’s arms were familiar and they were warm. Harry bent to press his face into Eggsy's hair, and even that was familiar. So was the scent of him, and the feel of him, too. The way Harry's breath hitched wasn't, but Eggsy would still recognize his voice anywhere. 

"I still love you, Eggsy," Harry whispered, so softly. 

"I can't trust _nothin'_ you say," Eggsy countered tearfully. He was still afraid of Harry, if less so in this place. Harry wouldn't do anything to him here, near so many of his coworkers, not when Eggsy remembered that things between them had been secret even during his first fateful visit to headquarters. What was worse was that Harry was so familiar, so missed, that he _ached_. For the old Harry he'd loved. The Harry that didn't exist, the act designed to get him into Harry's home and bed.

Harry's head dropped lower, but he didn't let go. He didn't try to pull away and run again. He just held on until Eggsy could feel Harry's heart beating as fast as his own. 

Footsteps echoed down the long corridor and Harry lifted his head. He made some kind of a gesture over Eggsy's which he couldn't see, but whoever had stumbled upon them turned right back around and left as quickly as they'd come. Harry's arm went back around Eggsy, and he didn't seem particularly startled by the event. Perhaps hallway breakdowns were normal around there. Or maybe just when someone nearly died.

"You don't get to run away from me," Eggsy finally murmured once he got his voice back. He was still tucked against Harry, loving the arms holding him close and hating them at the same time. He wanted _his_ Harry, but his Harry didn't exist. "You owe me and you don't get to just... send me away to some people and say I don't gotta see you anymore. You don't get to disappear on me like that."

Eggsy felt Harry's head shift, like he was trying to look at him. It was strange how Harry's every movement when they were this close could spell out entire emotions. He could tell Harry hadn't been expecting that. He'd probably been expecting anything but that. 

"What do you want me to do?" Harry finally asked, voice soft, but calmer than he'd been a minute ago. It didn't waver any longer. 

Eggsy felt a ripple of sorrow. He knew what he wanted, but that was impossible. He couldn't rewrite reality. He couldn't make Harry back into the person he loved, or change everything that had happened. All Eggsy had was the present. "I don't know. I don't wanna stay with you. Or with any friends of yours. But so long as you're not gonna swoop in and kidnap me, I don't want you disappearin' neither. I think you owe me some answers, and more."

Eggsy felt Harry stop breathing. After another pause, Harry spoke. "I...can do that." Uncertainty was clear in his voice. He'd expected Eggsy never to want to see him again. This was Harry out of his depth again, which was a state Eggsy was becoming more accustomed to seeing him in. It was a world away from the Harry he'd known when they'd lived together. But Eggsy saw through a lot now, and Eggsy still didn't have very much leverage on his own, but Harry didn't have all the power anymore. 

Eggsy relaxed against Harry for a moment. Harry felt so familiar that it hurt - both his embrace and the scent of him, skin musk under layers of cologne and soap. Eggsy wanted so badly for the man beneath him to be the one he wanted, but he was an imposter. Eggsy exhaled. "I wish you'd been who you said you were."

Harry swallowed. A drop of wetness fell upon Eggsy’s temple, but Harry didn't say anything. If Eggsy looked up, Harry's face wouldn't be the kind mask it so often was anymore, but Harry still didn't have anything to say for himself. 

"We should get up," Harry said instead. "Let me take you to a more comfortable guest room if you're tired. Or come with me to Merlin's office and we can take a look at places you might stay for a while." 

"I want to pick where I go. I don't want you or anyone else deciding for me anymore." Eggsy had had quite enough of being told what to do, or where to go, or how to live. Now that he wasn't answering to a crime organization where he needed to fear for his life, Eggsy wasn't keen on letting anyone dictate his fate or gain control over him.

"Okay," Harry said when Eggsy sat up. "Then we'll look through the database of families who would be open to accepting someone short term, and you can decide who you'd like to stay with. Unless you have anyone else in mind." Harry raised a brow, but it was fairly clear that Eggsy didn't. With a hand to the wall and a steady hold on his cane, Harry managed to lift himself off the floor. He didn't hide the wince of pain it caused, but he did straighten again and school himself when it was over. 

"I get to pick," Eggsy repeated. "An' you don't get to disappear. It's nice you're gonna help me with figuring out families to adopt me and school stuff and all that, but that's not the only thing I want or need."

Eggsy looked around them. The hallway was fairly deserted, but he knew better than to think that meant it was safe to talk plainly. It shouldn't have mattered. Any repercussions Harry incurred from the secret being leaked would have been on his head, but Eggsy didn't want that. Not the way people might treat him and look at him, or the way it would put Harry out of reach. "I don't... wanna talk about it here."

"Merlin's office it is, then." Harry nodded once and began to make his way down the hall. Eggsy walked beside him with the same amount of space that had been there before, but his posture was more determined now. Harry didn't comment on it, but it was easy to see the man didn't quite know what to make of this change. He'd offered to see that Eggsy was set. He'd said he'd owed Eggsy so much, even way back when before Eggsy had gotten him out of Belmont Industries. Eggsy had refused him every time before, and he'd expected little to change. 

Everything had changed. Harry had forgotten what it was to be young, when the smallest space of time made an enormous difference. Eggsy had seen things, and done things. He'd tasted of fear and freedom. The boy was not so innocent anymore, and he had a clearer notion of what he wanted out of life and what was open to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (4/9) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	38. Chapter 38

Eggsy kept pace with Harry all the way to Merlin's office, and it was unnerving for Harry to feel himself being dissected by the gaze of one so young and dear to him.

When they reached the door, Harry knocked. 

Eggsy's expression didn't change, even when he was about to see Merlin again. Harry wouldn't have known whether Eggsy was more comfortable with Merlin than him, but it was clear he expected that to be the case when he'd tried to run away earlier. Funny how it used to be the other way around. Harry placed both hands on the cane and turned to the door when it opened, revealing a narrow-eyed Merlin. 

They were two of a pair now, to Eggsy's eyes. Harry and the boy stepped inside, allowing Merlin to shut the door behind them, and Eggsy reflected on the last time he'd been in that office. Merlin had known so much, and yet he'd comforted Eggsy and sent him right back into the lion's den. "Well. How's things? Any new interestin' cameras? You do all the camera business for the spies here, in't that right?"

"That's right, he does," Harry answered for Merlin when he looked down at Eggsy with a raised brow. There were a few extra chairs around the room, so Harry pulled up one for himself and one for Eggsy before he turned to Merlin and sat down, slowly. "We'd like to look over the list of open households again, within whatever parameters Eggsy would like. It'll be his choice." 

Merlin surveyed the two of them with more than a bit of surprise. He hadn't expected to see them amiably together, more or less, much less in his office. "Right. Well, there aren't too many open at the moment. Believe it or not, there's a seasonality to witnesses coming forward, and thus to protection programs and fostering. There are a few that are open in the UK, and more abroad, if you're open to the possibility."

Eggsy shook his head. "I don't wanna get shipped off overseas. I'm gonna have enough trouble going back to school as it is."

"Let's start in London, somewhere you'd be familiar, but perhaps not too close to where you were living on the East side. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate running into any of your old friends over there on the tube by accident." Harry ignored Eggsy's eyes on him and instead watched Merlin turn to his screens and bring up a map of the city on one and a database to search on another. 

One after another, Eggsy rejected open households. Some were living in neighbourhoods he didn't want to live in. Others, he didn't like the look of the people who would be taking him in. The scope of Merlin's search results were narrowed until, at last, Eggsy picked a couple living in a rather large flat. They were well off, but not so much as to own a house, and willing to foster while considering starting a family of their own.

When Eggsy announced his approval, both men turned to look at him. Harry especially looked like he didn't quite believe it. 

It wasn't that the couple didn't look nice, or their background didn't check out, or that they weren't old enough to handle a boy on the cusp of adolescence for a short period, it was that their flat was in South Kensington. Several streets away from Harry's house. 

The silence stretched between the three of them, and so Harry took a breath and broke it. "You haven't forgotten where I live, have you?"

"Nah, I ain't never gonna forget that," Eggsy countered. "But it ain't like livin' across town stopped you from watchin' me or hauntin' my doorstep any. Did it? Way I figure it, here's where you get to prove to me that you're not just talkin' bullocks, one of a couple of ways. You start tellin' me the truth, all of it, no leavin' shit out hoping I never catch on. I get all the answers I want. I get all the help I want, and you piss off if I don't want your help and opinions on somethin'. I live where I wanna live, and you start _provin'_ to me that you'll leave me alone if you say you're gonna, no matter where I'm livin'. With you, it don't make much difference if I'm a couple of streets or a couple of countries away if you wanna mess with me."

Both men stared at him. Harry's mouth wasn't hanging open precisely, but only just. If Eggsy wasn't mistaken, the corners of Merlin's mouth were fighting not to turn upward. 

Harry looked to his friend and glowered before he turned back to Eggsy, brows knit, but expression calmer. "...alright then, I can do that. If there are things you'd still like to know, I'll tell you." Harry bit the inside of his lip, but he didn't look nervous at the prospect, exactly, more like he was steeling himself in thought. "And I will do the best I can to see to it that you have whatever you need. And whatever I can provide that you want."

"Good, that's a start. But I guess we'll see if you're gonna actually _do_ it. Seems I remember other times you told me things that weren't true, an' it weren't about protectin' your spy agency." Eggsy leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Maybe some of it, but you didn't want me knowin' what you were, because you didn't want me knowin' what you were capable of. Mostly 'cause you didn't want me to figure out what you'd been doin'. Right?"

Some of the confusion faded away from Harry's features, leaving him placid, slouched in his chair ever so slightly forward. Merlin watched as though he was perfectly comfortable with the display in front of him and content to go unnoticed. "Yes. That's true. Both reasons are true," Harry answered. "I wouldn't have been able to tell you who I was regardless, but it helped that you didn't believe I had the power to do everything that I did." Harry's face didn't change when he spoke. Eggsy could see pain there, but he didn't shy away from his words. His voice didn't falter, and he didn't take his eyes off Eggsy. 

Eggsy's chin lifted just a bit more. He'd thought he'd started to figure some things out, but it helped to have his suspicions confirmed. Helped, too, to see pain on Harry's face, or at least a facade of it. Eggsy didn't know whether Harry was hurting or not, just like he'd not been able to tell when he was lying before. The man was too good of an actor. "What had you been goin' to do? Just never tell me, keep playin' me so I never figured stuff out? Keep doin' stuff to my mum to keep her out of the way?"

"I didn't plan to tell you, ever, about what I'd done to get custody of you, but after that was accomplished, and after you found out about Kingsman...," Harry gave a barely perceptible shrug, "there was nothing else I needed to do. I had no further reasons to change the course of your life beyond that." Harry did break eye contact then, looking somewhere into the middle distance of the floor. "I imagined you'd grow up, and that over time you would lose interest in me. Probably as prospects your own age became available to you, as tends to happen when growing up. I had hoped...that your feelings of fondness, of affection, even if it turned into something more familial, would remain for me into your adult life." Harry's voice grew quiet. "You must understand, I'm a forty one year old man. For something like we had...I don't have any chances left." 

Eggsy's features twisted in fury. He grabbed ahold of the first thing within reach, which happened to be a cup full of pens. They clattered everywhere while the cup hit Harry square in the chest, much to Merlin's scowling distaste. "You utter _prick_. You were just gonna-... _Everything_ was gonna be a lie, then, until you dumped me off on someone else and just hoped I'd never find out? That I'd forget about you? And you want me to understand 'cause you think you're too old for anyone to want you? Have you done this to someone before, and I was just the last go-round? The stupid kid you thought would be easiest to trick, or somethin'? Or did you already replace me?"

Harry was on his feet before he could stop himself, looking like he was ready for a fight. There was real anger on his face, but it drained out of him as quickly as it came, in a whooshing sigh. The only one who hadn't moved was Merlin. 

"I hadn't done this before. And I haven't replaced you," Harry said. His voice had gone back to normal, but flat. "I never _wanted_ you to forget about me. But you would have, in unavoidable ways. Or you'd have never gone on to live your own life at all." Harry met Eggsy's eyes again, ignoring his seething anger. "Would that have been better? Had I not only forcibly taken custody of you, but trapped you henceforth in life tied to me as well? Never having the option for anything more?"

"Shows what you know, you fuckin' bastard." Eggsy wasn't calm and wasn't pretending to be. He'd gotten to his feet right after Harry had stood, glaring up at him. "I ain't-... I ain't got a life after this, I ain't _got_ options for somethin' more. I didn't _want_ anythin' more, I wanted _you_ , only now I found out you're not only a liar who hurts people, you were gonna _dump_ me too. And think I'd just forget about you, and everythin', and you thought I'd be alright with that?"

Harry's face contorted into something pained. Some spark lit in him, sending him into a crouch before Eggsy, grabbing the boy's wrists before Eggsy could strike. "I never _wanted_ to let you go, Eggsy. Do you understand that?" Harry's voice was a snarl. He didn't let Eggsy twist free. "Do you have any idea how much it would have hurt me to watch you grow up, to watch your need to explore take you away from me? And that was what I thought I'd have to _choose_ to endure, if I could only have you for as long as you'd let me." Harry swallowed. "I am sorry for the pain I've caused you. For what I've done to your life. I am not a good man. But I did love you."

" _Did_. Glad that's cleared up. Trick me into lettin' you have me and fallin' in love with you, and only lovin' me so long as I was stupid an' trapped and playin' along. You got what you wanted and now you don't care. That's great for _you_ an' all, but I can't-" Whatever Eggsy was going to say got choked off. The boy's throat closed up and his eyes filled with tears. Toughened as he was from years on the streets, he was still only a boy, and his bravado and anger only went so far before vulnerability took over.

Harry's hands fell at the same time his face did. There was no more anger there. He looked terribly sad. 

"Do." Eggsy's tears were quickly followed by hitched breaths, and Harry reached out to touch his cheek. It wasn't the confident touch he'd had before. Harry's fingers hesitated to stroke away Eggsy's tears and attempt to offer some comfort. "I do still." Harry looked like he wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. They both knew Eggsy wanted the man he'd once thought Harry was. 

Eggsy cracked. He wanted to escape the room, but he didn't remember where the guest room was, or if he could run through the halls without getting shot. His legs collapsed under him, proving he wouldn't have gotten too far even if he'd gotten out the door. Eggsy buried his face in his hands and tried to stifle the sounds that wanted to pour out of him along with his tears. He'd thought seeing Harry would have been difficult because of his fear and anger, but it was worse than that. Seeing and hearing and being close to the man was opening up old wounds of a different sort, the loss of the man he loved that he'd never gotten over.

Long fingers stroked through his hair and another hand laid over his back, rubbing there softly. It was a caress that sparked memories carefully put away for a long time. Eggsy caught the smell of the cologne at Harry's wrist and the feel of the way Harry had always liked to touch his hair. It was overwhelming. Harry was trying to comfort him. Harry wanted to touch him, but it was like Harry didn't dare close the distance and pull Eggsy into his arms. 

"I don't even know who you _are_ , I don't even _know_ you," Eggsy wailed, voice thick with grief. "I miss Harry an' I'm never gonna get him back. You've taken him, too, just like you've taken everythin' else. You seem familiar but you're _not_ , and I _miss him_." Everything made Eggsy curl in tighter on himself. He wanted so badly to reach out. The body in front of him made him ache, but Eggsy remembered that it was a stranger wearing Harry's skin, just like he'd worn countless other people on his missions. It was an illusion, but a painfully tempting one.

"Would you have still loved that Harry if I'd told you all the terrible things I'd done back then? Before you'd found out on your own?" Harry asked. There didn't seem to be a moral point to the question, no secret lesson to be learned in its answer. Perhaps it was for Harry alone that he wanted to know, to know whether he'd have lost Eggsy either way. 

"M-maybe. I d-don't know." It was difficult for Eggsy to imagine that Harry telling him such things. He'd barely been able to believe that any of it had been true, even once he'd seen the evidence in front of him. "It don't really m-matter. You lied to me about everythin', even after you _p-promised_ you'd tell me the truth, and then I couldn't trust nothin' you told me. I didn't know who you were, an' you scared me, and for good reason, 'cause... right after I found out, that you hurt my mum and watched you kill a bunch of people, you hunted me down. I thought you were gonna _kill_ me in the train yard."

Harry's hand stopped. Eggsy felt arms wrap around him and then he was being pulled closer, tucked under Harry's chin, held like Harry feared something might happen to Eggsy if he let go. "I would never hurt you," Harry whispered. "Not intentionally. Not like that. Never." 

Harry's body trembled in the same way Eggsy's did, although Harry managed to hold on a little better and keep Eggsy wrapped up in his arms. His embrace was tight. It felt like the desperation Harry had had when he'd held Eggsy in the hall just hours earlier.

"You already hurt me, and I just watched-... I thought you were gonna kill me, after I figured it all out and ran away." Eggsy didn't pull away. He was too upset, and Harry's hold was too strong. Merlin watched the exchange in silence, giving the both of them space. "I thought you were gonna find me and drag me away, and then I was gonna die like the people I'd just watched."

"I'm so sorry, Eggsy." Harry rested his forehead against the top of Eggsy's shoulder. "But I didn't. And I never wanted to. Not even for a moment. Arthur had no idea you ever left. I made sure of that, and not just for my sake." Harry sighed. His every breath was long and low, and it didn't sound like he wanted to speak, but he kept talking anyway. "I know how much I've betrayed you. I won't ask for you to come back or forgive me. Just...take this opportunity to better your life."

"I... I wanna know." Eggsy gulped down a sob. Harry was so close. _Too close_. Eggsy could smell him, and feel him, and all he wanted to do was stay in the arms of someone he knew wasn't who he thought he was. "You're gonna help me, cause you owe me. For this, and for savin' your life. You owe me. But I wanna know. I wanna know who the hell I slept with and gave so much to, if not who I thought you were. I don't even know who you are."

Harry paused for a long moment. "You're not expecting to like what you find." Finally, he pulled back and smoothed his hands over Eggsy's arms like he had to make sure he hadn't hurt the boy. "I don't know if I expect you to like it either. Not now." Something like a smile, one that never fully formed, softened Harry's face, like he was looking back. "If I could have gone about this differently, there may have been a time when I could have hoped you would. Nevertheless, your request is more than fair." The warmth slipped away and Harry nodded. "You should get some actual rest today while we make inquiries with your chosen family. I suspect we won't be able to meet them until tomorrow at the earliest."

Eggsy was still red-eyed, cheeks damp from their recent track of tears. He scrubbed at his face with the back of one hand. "I dunno how to get back there from here. My room. Or the cafeteria if I want somethin'. I'm not supposed to be a prisoner, but it kinda feels like it. Everything's cold." Eggsy was used to cold, but it had been disconcerting to wander his room and find no means of changing the temperature nor any extra blankets.

"I'm not taking you back to that room," Harry told him. "We have far more comfortable ones on the ground level. You can even go outside if you'd like. Maybe take Baxter for a walk." Eggsy didn't cheer at that, but Harry gave him a small smile and climbed to his feet. "Come, I'll show you the way, and make sure you know how to get down to the cafeteria." Harry glanced to Merlin, still sitting calmly at his desk, and nodded. It might have been a gesture of thanks, for not interrupting or for helping, but Eggsy would truly have no idea if they could say more than that in one glance. 

It hurt that Eggsy hesitated at the doorway. The boy clearly had a moment where he was considering whether or not it was safe to follow Harry somewhere away from other people. He did follow, but the hesitation and the backwards glance he gave Merlin stuck in Harry's mind. Eggsy stayed further away from Harry than he'd walked in the past, too, just within reach instead of nearly clinging to Harry's side. Everything reminded Harry of just how far things had disintegrated between them.

And yet, Eggsy wasn't running away. He wasn't refusing to talk to him or be near him. He'd let Harry touch him. He'd even agreed to a foster home in the same general neighbourhood where Harry lived.

It had been his idea, in fact. 

They rode a lift in silence up to the ground floor, and when the doors opened, the whole interior had changed dramatically from what looked more like an elaborate underground military facility to a true English estate. Harry didn't pause when he led Eggsy down halls full of paintings of people Eggsy didn't recognize. The sun even broke through the clouds at some point that day and now cast its rays throughout the interior. They landed on Harry, making his hair shine and his face seem warmer. Even if he was still using the cane, it was hard to imagine he wasn't the Harry Eggsy had once known.   
Finally they stopped at a doorway in the corner of the hall, opposite a drawing room and more doors that looked the same. When Harry pushed back the door for Eggsy to see inside, it was filled with oak furnishings and golden embroidery. The bed was as large and as soft as Harry's was, and there was sun coming in from windows at two sides of the room. 

"This should do you a little better, I believe," Harry said quietly. 

Eggsy relaxed a little. The room was still unfamiliar, but far better than the cold militaristic style he'd been staying in below ground. It looked like a room for a person, not a prisoner or a soldier. There was even a window to the outside, looking out on an expanse of grass before it turned to hedges and woods. "Yeah. Fancier than I'm used to, but I guess everything here is." Eggsy wandered inside, turning around to inspect the room's contents. The way his eyes lingered in some corners, Harry knew that he was wondering about hidden cameras.

"Was any of it real?" Eggsy asked at last, looking straight at Harry with a sorrow far too deep for one so young. "Any of it? Or was it all... an act, 'cause of... what you wanted?"

Harry's eyes saddened. He took a deep breath and it seemed like he had trouble meeting Eggsy's gaze, but he tried all the same. "Take away what I did to your mother, what I'd told you about my job and all I knew about you, and the rest was real. Your father saved my life." Harry broke their gaze and looked down at the floor before he went on, "and from the first time I saw you the night I told your mother, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You stayed with me a year after that in memory alone, before I thought to find you again. But I didn't try to hide who I was from you in personality and the various lessons in life that I believe in. I did enjoy Spiderman the first night you read it to me. I did want to show you the world and watch you flourish in it." The corners of Harry's mouth turned down as though he expected another outburst from Eggsy. 

Harry's admission made things worse, if he could be believed. It made things complicated. Eggsy pressed his palm against his mouth and tried to imagine that the Harry in his memory, and the one before him, were the same person. It seemed an impossibility. The Harry in his memory wouldn't have tried to hurt him, or his mother. "I... I don't even know what to believe anymore, y'know? You lied so much, I couldn't tell what was true or not, and I still can't."

Harry nodded, looking resigned. "You can try to sort it out and I'll do my best to help, but there is likely only so much you will ever believe in the end, or can bear to dredge up every day." He gave Eggsy a sad, half smile. "But we'll find out, and we have the time. Get some rest. And if you can't go back to sleep, go on and head down to the kennels to visit Baxter. There's a lift around the corner, take that down to the second level and you'll find a map with the cafeteria. If you need to find me, go there and ask for Galahad, otherwise I'll be back later this evening to check on you." Harry didn't move to leave. He didn't straighten or square his shoulders like he used to sometimes when he was parting ways. He was waiting for Eggsy's dismissal. 

Eggsy stared for a moment. He hadn't really had a chance to look before. He'd been too busy worrying what Harry was going to do, or about helping Harry escape.

Eventually it became too much. Eggsy ducked his head and broke eye contact. "Right. Guess I'll see you later, then." Whether he wanted to or not. There were only so many places he could go, and Eggsy imagined Landon could find him wherever he went on the property. Or he might run into the scary boss both men kept talking about, which Eggsy had no desire to do.

"Until then." Harry turned and left the door open behind him, free for Eggsy to close as he wished. 

Harry walked as best he could all the way back down to Merlin's office, passing personnel who either nodded respectfully or made brief comments on how good it was to see him back. He was thankful that they'd left him alone with Eggsy by his side. He leaned against the wall of the lift and tried to clear his mind, but it was little use. By the time he reached Merlin's door, Harry was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He knocked once, heard the lock click, and opened it. Merlin had all the cameras he needed to see who was at his door and he often disliked getting up just to let someone in. Harry went straight for his usual chair and collapsed with a sigh. 

"I didn't think it went all that poorly, all things considered," Merlin admonished him. He was already busy typing away, having paid little mind to the outbursts in his office beyond the discomfort of when they'd happened and the annoyance of cleaning up afterwards. Merlin wrapped up whatever he was working on enough to switch his full attention to Harry. "He didn't refuse your help, nor insist to be as far away from you as humanly possible. He didn't demand to never be in your presence again. He's shown no inclination to start trouble and turn you in. He didn't even reject you when you touched him."

Harry pressed his face into his hands and sighed. "Now you're the optimistic one? He hates me. He may not be running out to tell the nearest authorities, but he doesn't have any other choice. I think that's finally sunken in for him that my help is perhaps all he has left, but whatever lingering sympathies he has for me, he believes they're for a completely different person. And he hates me for taking that man's place." 

"He does have another choice. Perhaps he's doubtful that going to the authorities would do any good, but he also could have been far more rejecting. I had talked to him before this, you know. He should know by now that he doesn't have to see you at all if he doesn't care to and that that would make no difference in the assistance he can collect, and yet he both willingly chose a location near you and let you touch him." Merlin tiled his head and surveyed his friend. Harry looked tired, and far more downcast than he should, by Merlin's judgment. "You need to convince him that the person he interacted with while under your care wasn't entirely a persona. That's all, and I don't think a better opportunity could have been constructed if we'd tried."

Harry looked up at Merlin through his fingers and then began to laugh. He dropped his hands and shook his head, knowing he sounded a bit hysterical and more than a bit disbelieving. "He wants answers. He wants...closure that he never got before. That's all. The Harry he knew _wasn't_ entirely a persona, but...the damage is done. I've already hurt him. It would take a miracle for him to ever think kindly of me again." Harry dropped his gaze to the floor between them. "I'll do my best to provide him with those answers, and give him whatever else he needs, for however long he wants it. But I don't know if I can hope for better than that."

"He could get closure without living near you," Merlin pointed out. "Or without letting you physically touch him to comfort him. I'm honestly surprised he let you touch him at all, distress or no. You've hurt him, undoubtedly. He's angry with you for that. He wants an understanding in order to better process what happened. But surely you know that most people in similar situations refuse to talk to the people they think have wronged them. He didn't have to talk to you at all in order to reap the benefit of your help in securing a new future, and yet he not only did, he sought you out for physical comfort."

"In the hall at breakfast we got into an argument..,” Harry admitted. “He tried to hit me at first, and then wound up crying in my arms. That contact wasn't initiated by me. I think...I think he misses the man he thought I was. The one he feels he loved. He did believe I loved him back then." Merlin's face held a rare softness when Harry looked up again. It was a kindness he could appreciate. Merlin wasn't wrong either. When Harry had seen Eggsy off in his new quarters, all he'd wished for was that the boy could see not everything in him had been a lie. 

"It's a good sign, because you weren't entirely diverged. He's not reconciling the two experiences because he's taking one of them to be false, rather than that they happen to be aspects of the same person with a few lies and some subterfuge interspersed." Harry still looked uncertain. It was a display of vulnerability few got to see, and Merlin felt all the more privileged for it. "You simply need to give him some of the healing he needs while demonstrating that he didn't get to know, and fall for, a persona. He'll have more trouble rejecting you if he knows that you are the same person he's kept feelings for. Despite everything else and the distance of time, I might add."

Harry smiled ruefully. "If he decides to stick around for that long." Merlin's words threatened to hook him and pull him under the very dangerous waters of hope. If that hope was possible to have, it would have to be explored far more carefully than this. Harry allowing himself to feel it now would only spell disaster, and he wasn't particularly convinced it was achievable in anything but theory. With a sigh, Harry leaned back in his chair. The injuries he'd been trying to ignore all day were paining him again and he knew it was time to go back to his quarters for another dose of meds. 

"If he does," Merlin agreed. "And it would be on you to convince him to do so. I doubt he'll take my council, or even ask."

Harry stayed silent, limp against the backrest of the chair he was seated in, and Merlin felt a flicker of annoyance. "Don't give me this. You've had enough self-pity. If you botch the chance you've been given because you couldn't be arsed to seize it, don't look for much sympathy from me. Eggsy had the perfect chance to kill you in revenge, or have someone else do it for him, and instead he saved you and called me to pick both of you up. He's done everything but directly ask you why he should give you a second chance. You had better damn well take advantage of that."

Reluctantly, a small smile cracked Harry's mouth. He started laughing but had to hold his side from the pain. "There's the Merlin I know. Now stop bitching at an injured man and tell me if you've got any Vicodin in here. I could use it in my coffee." Harry sat up carefully and met Merlin's narrowed gaze with a smile. "You always know how to cheer me up." It was cheeky, but true. Merlin's optimism buoyed Harry's spirits considerably, even if he didn't necessarily believe it could work, himself. 

"I can do you better than that. Not that you deserve it, the shite you put me through," Merlin grumbled. He retracted a key from his pocket and dug into one of his secured cabinets. A minute or so later he was back in front of Harry, pressing two pills into his palm. "Don't... go see him during the worst of the high. Oxy has a tendency to muddle the sense and cause some to babble."

Harry's smile turned wry. "Much appreciated. I might lie down for a few hours then. You'll keep an eye on him for me? And wake me if anything happens?" Harry stood with more effort than it had taken him that morning and knew he was giving Merlin a decidedly pitiable look, wide eyed and earnest. Merlin's mouth did that downturn that wasn't totally a frown, but was attempting one, whenever Harry turned that look on him. 

"You know I will, damn it. Although keep giving me that, I may decide to keep an eye on you instead. I'm not stone." Merlin exhaled slowly in exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose. Sentimentality and comfort were not his strong suits. "Go lie down. You just about killed me from worry and exhaustion, and you're going to succeed if you push yourself too hard. Get some rest."

"Thank you." Harry broke into another warm smile and patted Merlin's shoulder before he turned towards the door. Harry didn't particularly mind the thought of Merlin spying on him as he slept. Or anywhere else. It was a comfort, in fact. He only wished that Eggsy had similar opinions on the matter. It was plainly obvious why the boy didn't, however, never having built up the trust with it that Harry had. 

His own thoughts on the boy's situation warred with Merlin's optimism over the long walk to his quarters, a room nearly as inviting as the one he'd set Eggsy up in for the day, but well underground and with double the security of the guest rooms above. Harry closed the door, slowly and carefully changed into more comfortable attire, and climbed into bed. The doctor had warned him his strength would fade easily over the next several days, but it hit him hard, and so did the pain reliever Merlin provided. Harry drifted off in no time at all.

* * *

Eggsy got bored quite easily. The guest rooms provided little in the way of entertainment, and eventually Eggsy's fear of the people working in the complex was overcome by his hunger and boredom. No one stopped him in the hallways, and he ended up being pleasantly surprised that the cafeteria was free; he'd wandered in expecting to have to shoplift or sweet talk someone into charging Harry, only to watch several other people walk right out without exchanging any currency. Evidently there were perks to working for an organization with a large budget.

He went up to the counter and picked out one of the biggest turkey sandwiches he could find and a couple snacks on the side, knowing that if he tried to order something fancy, he wouldn't have the first idea about what to ask for. The servers were more than happy to make him a cup of tea though, one with a lid that he felt confident enough to carry out of there with the rest of his haul. Sitting in the cafeteria alone made him feel too vulnerable though the question remained where he could take his food after that. 

Eggsy wandered back out into the hall and eventually found one of the navigation maps Harry had mentioned. The place was a maze, and Eggsy was certain that quite a few things were missing from the map, but he could see enough to locate a path to the outside.

Harry had told him that he could go out to the kennels, and Eggsy remembered there not being much in the way of security out on the grounds. The open air might feel better than being closed in amongst strangers. The company of dogs sounded appealing right then.

Once he was back on the ground floor it didn't take him long to find the way outside. The sun was still out, and for once the day was warm and pleasant rather than gloomy like it had been the past several weeks, but it would be on its way down soon. 

Eggsy found a path winding along a grove of foliage and spotted the kennels in the distance near the tree line of the forest behind the grounds. He set off for it, eating his sandwich along the way and letting the sun warm his back. The far off sounds of birds and the solitude outside would have made it feel like he'd stepped into a different world but for the knowledge that everything he'd just gone through had happened inside the manor behind him. 

For a moment, Eggsy contemplated just hiking into the woods on the edge of the grounds. He could keep going. Maybe hitchhike his way to another town, although he had no idea where this manor was. If he got far enough away, no one from the London gangs would stumble across him.

That still didn't solve his larger dilemmas, however. He didn't have an education, or money, or anything to his name. He no longer even had social connections. Whatever life he might find wouldn't be much of one. 

His feet carried him to the kennels instead although the thoughts didn't diminish entirely. He finished the rest of his sandwich and put his snacks in the pocket of his jumper before he opened the door, but as soon as he did, the barking started up. 

The inside looked the same as the last time he'd been there--one large pen with most of the dogs inside to run around and play together, with a door that allowed them to run through the fenced portion in the back as well. There were a few single kennels off in the corner of the building, but not many of them were occupied. 

Eggsy stepped closer and the dogs, big and small alike, ran up to the fence to greet him with tails wagging furiously.

Eggsy wondered how many agents had dogs. Enough that it was quite the compound, although he couldn't estimate the number of agents from the number of dogs. All of them seemed to at least be friendly, which was more than could be said for their owners. Harry's dog was absent, as usual, but Eggsy spotted Baxter among the pack pressed against the fence.

It took a bit of doing to figure out how to let one dog out without letting them all out to swamp him, but after a bit of a struggle Eggsy managed and the corgi sprang free without bringing any of his brethren with him.

Baxter trotted around in a circle, panted happily at Eggsy, and then promptly sat down again, tongue still lolling. Eggsy looked at the dog and spotted a crate full of tennis balls along the shelf that also held leashes, collars, and other training gear, but he didn't imagine Baxter would be up for playing very many rounds of fetch. It was loud inside with all of the other dogs barking though, and he supposed that maybe Baxter would be ok with a walk around the grounds. Maybe he could find somewhere to sit and eat the rest of his lunch. 

"Baxter, c'mon," Eggsy called and patted his knee for the dog to follow and, obediently, Baxter got up and trotted after him as he went for the door. 

Baxter was especially keen once he caught scent of the food in Eggsy's pockets. Unlike his owner, the dog seemed to have little sense of decorum or caution. There was also little to dignify an animal with such short legs and oversized ears, and less so when it jumped around hoping for scraps and a bit of attention.

The manor didn't look small from the outside, and Eggsy could only imagine how far out and down the maze of rooms extended. For a moment he could appreciate just how powerful the agency must be on the whole. It made him feel smaller still to know that, from what he'd gathered, it hadn't been him against the whole of Harry's organization - just Harry and his friend. So much damage done just between the two of them.

He walked off the path a ways to a tree with a root jutting up from the ground he could sit on as the ground was still soggy in patches from the rain. There Eggsy brought out the candy bar and muffin he'd taken, and immediately upon seeing them, Baxter's efforts doubled until Eggsy gave in and let him have a portion of the muffin. 

Once the snacks were gone, Baxter settled down by his side and let Eggsy pet him. Eggsy tried to clear his mind while he did so. The dog's ears were especially soft and his fur was thick and felt good against Eggsy's palm. He felt calmer out there than he had inside, but the sensation of touching Baxter made him remember touching Harry, curling into the man's chest and breaking down, the feel of Harry's hands on his back and his arms around Eggsy. 

Harry still felt so familiar. Even after the passage of time and everything else. The feeling of being so touched and enclosed should have provoked fear or disgust, but instead Eggsy had felt comforted. More than comforted. Old wounds had reopened that had only just begun to heal. Eggsy missed Harry more than ever now that his options had contracted and he no longer felt in danger. Harry had left him alone before like he'd promised, so Eggsy no longer felt so worried about being kidnapped and held against his will, but he was tired. 

Tired of being kept in the dark, of not knowing the answers, of loss and pain. The Harry he'd loved felt closer than ever, and yet untouchable. Galahad had taken his place, and Eggsy didn't know what to do with him.

That was a good name for the other Harry, Eggsy decided. Galahad had all the resources. Galahad knew how to lie and manipulate people. Although Eggsy had had to reconcile that his Harry was a spy before the truth of everything came out. Over that time Harry had still seemed warm and honest and good. He'd seemed like one of those James Bond spies, the ones who came in to save the day and would never hurt innocent people. But Galahad wasn't like that. And Eggsy didn't really know him. 

Eggsy had made a lot of demands in there, but he had this suspicion based on nothing more than the look on Harry's face when he talked about how much he'd owed Eggsy and the fact that it was true, that Harry would keep to that agreement. It was hard to say, however, if Eggsy would like what he found if he got to know Galahad. 

Just thinking about it made his stomach twist and feel heavy. Eggsy didn't know how to get to know Galahad. He didn't really want to, aside from the fact that he _needed_ to for his own peace of mind. He needed to know who he'd spent so much time with. Who he'd had sex with. Who he'd slept next to every night. Harry had said that it hadn't all been a lie, but Eggsy wouldn't stop doubting and wondering until he could see for himself. Perhaps once he knew Harry had been an illusion, he'd be able to mourn and move on.

One thing he had now that he hadn't back then was leverage, and distance. Just enough that if he could stop breaking down whenever he saw Harry, he might be able to stay in control. That was something he'd never had before--control--but it was something he needed now. 

Eggsy felt his fingernails pinch the inside of his palm as he stared back up at the manor. Harry owed him a lot. Eggsy didn't know what Harry would really agree to do for him, but he had the means for almost anything. Landon had looked like he was good and ready to laugh at his friend when Eggsy said as much, and Eggsy had to hope that attitude would last so he wouldn’t run into any opposition. 

Some time later, when Eggsy had had enough of wandering the grounds and had returned Baxter to the kennel, the boy wound up in the hallway in front of the navigational map. Plenty of the rooms that the map bothered to show weren't labelled with anything aside from letters and numbers, but a few were titled. Some were named after people Eggsy had never heard of. Some were named after places. One room was entitled the Round Table, which made Eggsy curious considering Harry and Landon’s codenames. The massive hanger was also labelled, as was a gymnasium and an indoor swimming pool. Eggsy wondered just how far he could wander and where he could go before he might get in trouble.

The Round Table was tempting, but also one of those places he suspected he might not be wanted. And Eggsy had to wonder if he wouldn't run into this Arthur person if he tried to go there. He couldn't find Merlin's office on the map, nor any other room that looked like it might be for operations, but he generally remembered where that was in relation to the cafeteria. 

Eggsy decided to make his way towards the gym and the pool, thinking that maybe those things would be interesting to see. He hadn't done gymnastics in a long time, just lots of walking everywhere he went, but he kind of missed it. 

Just like before, the people he passed in the halls ignored him mostly, even if he could tell he made an unusual sight in the underground complex. He found the pool first, or the underside of it, anyway. Along the hall in a wide pane of glass was the length of the pool, underwater. Eggsy went up to it and looked inside. He could see the racing lines above him at the surface of the water and the deep end below his feet at the other side of the hall. If anyone had been swimming, he'd be able to watch everything they did from there, and that was really kind of cool. With more searching, he found the doorway inside, but it was locked. The gym was just around the corner though, and that wasn't. 

It also wasn't completely empty. A couple of people were jogging on treadmills, headphones in place and oblivious to everything beyond what music they were listening to. A few tellies mounted on the walls displayed all sorts of updates, mostly national and worldwide news. One man was lifting weights in one corner and, when he looked up and spotted Eggsy, the boy thought he looked vaguely familiar. A flicker of anxiety passed through him as the man set his weights back on the rack, towelled off, and began to walk over. Eggsy hadn't been told what was off limits, but he hadn't thought the gym would be.

He stopped in front of Eggsy before his face relaxed into a polite smile. "Eggsy, was it?" The man asked and at Eggsy's clearly uncertain expression, he went on. "You probably don't remember me, but we met once briefly at the shop. A couple Christmases ago if I remember correctly. I'm Percival." He held out his hand for Eggsy to shake, which, awkwardly, Eggsy obliged. "You must have been pretty worried about Galahad, disappearing like that and coming home all banged up." 

So that was what Harry and Merlin had told everyone. Eggsy wasn't supposed to have been out of Harry's guardianship, and this man seemed to be trying to console him. 

"Y-yeah. I mean... I knew his job was dangerous an' all, and he's come back with scratches before, but he... He ain't disappeared like that before." Eggsy had to be careful. He didn't know what other people had been told about him, and he didn't want to contradict anything enough to draw suspicion. "Nobody's even told me yet how bad it was. They just put me in a room and whisked him off. I've been here before but not really around all that much. I found the cafeteria but I dunno what else's worth seein'."

Percival nodded. He had a kind face when it was animated. At rest he'd looked very stoic with his height and only a few strands of dark hair falling out of place in spite of being in the gym. "Well if no one's told you yet, you can be sure that he'll be okay. No lasting injuries, just a few bad cuts and bruises and he'll probably be tired while he's healing. Nothing you should worry about." 

The man searched Eggsy's face as though he were making sure his words were heard. He was instantly more likeable than Eggsy's memory of the knight called Lancelot had been, or at least he seemed more genuine. 

"I have a daughter about your age," Percival went on, "and I know how she'd feel if I'd been in Galahad's place."

"Really? Other people here got kids too?" Eggsy was legitimately surprised. He'd figured that the sort of people who worked at a place like that wouldn't be the kind to have families, but it must not have been too unusual if no one thought it strange that Harry adopted out of the blue. Certainly it made things less suspicious if other agents, married and unmarried, also had kids, although Eggsy doubted that they had the same experience that he did. "Do they ever come visit here? Or do they not know about all this?"

Percival inclined his head with an indulgent smile. "Usually not until they're older. And not many, at that." They all knew how Eggsy had found the place. "There's a long history of family tradition here among the knights in fact. Many new candidates for our agents come from such families, so for some, the agency is somewhat of an open secret. If Galahad ever lets us invite him along to another social, it probably won't be long before you meet the other knights and their families." 

"Does anyone else have other kids my age? Or are they all older?" Eggsy couldn't imagine what that must be like. Finding out Harry was a spy had been a shock for him, but he didn't know what would be stranger: always knowing that one or both of your parents were spies, or finding that out many years later. All of the agents Eggsy had seen also seemed to come from money, or at least lineage. 

It reminded Eggsy a bit of movies he'd seen about the mafia. That was also organized around families, with it being an open secret and some members being invited to join. They were also full of wealth and violence. Eggsy worried at his lower lip. "Does Harry not tend to go to parties?"

Percival gave a soft laugh. "Not so much these days. He used to. But that's what happens when some of us start families, I suppose. If you'd like to go, you should nudge him along a bit. I think Roxy, my daughter, is probably the only one about your age, at least as far as immediate family goes. There are plenty of nieces and nephews and cousins and the like between all of us, enough to fill up this manor probably."

Eggsy had trouble imagining so many people. Perhaps it was because both Landon and Harry were so solitary. Harry didn't have any more family, and his friend didn't seem the type to have family either, or to visit them if they were still alive. Eggsy didn't know if they were unusual for the organization. The other agents might be more social, but he hadn't met many of them. "Huh. Guess I'll start askin' him, then. Maybe I'll get to come sometime. Is there anything worth seein' in the manor? I've been outside a bit but I'm pretty lost."

"Ah..." Percival straightened and thought about it for a moment. "Afraid there's not much someone your age might find for fun around here, but we do have a billiards room up on the main level. Probably not many people around to play unless they're between shifts and having a break though. We have the kennels and a stable off behind the western tree line just a ways. You'll want to ask Galahad before you visit, but if you feel like it, I'd be happy to take you. I don't have anything on until tonight." Percival smiled. It was reserved, but friendly, and Eggsy might just believe it was genuine if the man really did have a daughter around his own age. 

"Stables might be nice." Eggsy had never really seen horses or gotten a chance to ride one. That was the sort of thing one needed money to do, or else to live out in the countryside. Eggsy thought he might enjoy it, if for nothing else than the unique experience and having something to do. "I can't ask Harry, though. I don't even know where he is. I'm in a different room and nobody told me where he is. Just my room and the cafeteria."

Percival raised his brows at that, but looked like he was ready to be helpful. "If you go back to the cafeteria, take the lift down a floor and follow the hall all the way down to the end, then take a right and another right at the end of that hall. You'll see a lot of doors on the way, just look for one with the letter G. If you can't find it, stop someone on the way and ask, they'll know to help you." 

"Okay." Eggsy paused in thought. "Does everyone here have King Arthur nicknames? Does someone really like the stories? Or is there a reason for it? It's really weird to have people callin' Harry 'Galahad'. Even when they're not off on missions or whatever. You all know each other's real names anyways, so there's no need to be secretive about it."

Percival's smile was back and he warmed right away to Eggsy's question. "We've gotten used to calling each other by those code names. Less slip ups that way. And why do you ask, do you have any better ideas for code names? Star Wars, perhaps?" Percival's eyes actually seemed to twinkle in the overhead lights at that. Eggsy could tell he was a father. 

"Yeah, maybe. I just got a hard time picturin' any of you as _knights_. The whole chivalry and roses bit." Eggsy rolled his eyes. Harry had certainly tried for the romance angle, but King Arthur's knights were supposed to be about justice and truth. Or at least that was what Eggsy remembered. Lying and tricking people into sleeping with them didn't seem to fit the bill. 

Percival raised a brow. "Oh? We don't seem very chivalrous to you? Although the roses would be a little over the top, I'll admit." He paused to think for a moment. "I suppose the glamour does fade after a while when you get to know someone. Galahad probably seems just as human as anyone to you by now, but I can assure you he's done plenty worthy of the title. But don't tell him I told you that or he won't let me forget it."

"Like what? He's not really told me much about missions he's been on, really. He just seems like..." Eggsy didn't know what to tell Percival. He couldn't say what he really thought. He didn't want to destroy Harry's life and freedom. Not right then. It was always an option later, should things turn out badly. "You know. Not all that serious. Kind of a lush. I guess he gets into trouble, or he wouldn't get injured like that, but I dunno what he really does."

Percival shook his head and looked for a bench to sit down on. "Harry does give off that impression, but let's see. I suppose there's no harm in telling you a little." He rubbed his hands over his knees and thought back for a minute before he spoke again. "Harry's first mission as Galahad was to foil the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. Now, you might not thank him for that one, as quite a lot of the general populace wouldn't, but he took very well to the business of foiling assassinations after that. He's saved the Pope and the US President, twice. Galahad has a knack for infiltration. During the Gulf War one of our missions was solely to see civilians to safety before the fighting even began. From Galahad's intel, he was able to predict which areas would be hit first, and he alone saved hundreds of lives."

"Is that what you all send him to do, mostly? Infiltration stuff? He's said he's pretended to be other people a lot. I thought that was just, y'know... for questionin' people, or travelin'. Does he like that kind of stuff, savin' people?" Eggsy tried to imagine Galahad as heroic. He couldn't manage, but he could for the Harry he used to know, who'd swooped in and comforted him when everything had seemed dire. The man who had opened his home up to a boy with few options and nurtured and sheltered him seemed more aligned with the kindness and protectiveness Percival was talking about.

"I would say he likes saving people. It's a good feeling. That part is the outcome of what is usually very hard and very dirty work, but when you can come out of a month's cover pretending to be one of the worst people you've ever met and realise your actions have saved the lives of others, unbeknownst to them...there's nothing quite like that feeling. It can make all the bad stuff you've seen worth it." Percival was looking at Eggsy with his head tilted slightly to the side. His smile wasn't so prominent anymore, but he did look like he was proud of what they did, and proud to talk about Galahad. 

Eggsy wasn't expecting it. Perhaps Galahad was just as duplicitous with his coworkers as he had been with Eggsy, but Eggsy thought it might be harder to keep such things from other spies. Not impossible, or Harry's secrets would be well-known, but it would be trickier to hide yourself from people who saw you out on the metaphorical and literal battlefields. "Guess I'll have to ask him about it some time. I know he's my... adopted dad and all, but I don't really know him all that well. Not as well as I could. I guess that's part of the whole secret agent business though."

Percival hummed and his warmth faded into something more sober. "That could very well be. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he was worried about frightening you off with...all this. Not every mission turns out well, and sometimes even for the greater good, we're expected to make very hard decisions. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't very chivalrous at all. That doesn't mean he's not working for the best outcome possible, but it can create a certain distance between us and the rest of the world, even the people we care for."

"Hmm." Eggsy's hum was noncommittal. Percival's thoughts meant something, but Eggsy hadn't decided what they meant yet, or how much. He had thinking to do. The beginnings of a plan were starting to form in his mind. "Have you... told your family, about stuff you've done? Your daughter? Or do you worry about that kind of stuff too, that they'll get frightened and won't understand?"

Slowly, Percival nodded. "I am very worried about that. More than you might imagine. What I've told her of the bad parts, I've only done so in general terms. I want her to know they're there, but...I'd rather she see the good parts first. You're both so young yet." he spoke quietly and Eggsy gathered that he'd been drawing on his own experience when he'd guessed why Harry hadn't told Eggsy everything he did as a spy. 

"You think she wouldn't like it? Even though you're her dad? I mean, she's known you forever. A whole lot longer than I've known Harry." Strange to see this man, who Eggsy thought seemed like such a warm father figure upon first impression, worried so about what his daughter might think. Even if he'd done questionable things as a spy, Eggsy didn't think they could be anything like what Harry had done. Percival might have lied to his daughter for most of her life, but he probably hadn't been breaking promises left and right, or manipulating her life so he could sleep with her.

Percival gave a quiet laugh. "That's exactly why it's so hard. Every instinct I have as a father is to protect her. I want her to grow up with a realistic view of the world, but I also want her to believe in it still. And to believe in me. Every child wants their parents to be proud of them, but I bet you don't know how much the reverse is true as well." And then Percival looked through him. "You sound like you might like to confront Galahad about this. Just keep that in mind when you do."

Eggsy nodded. "I never really had a dad before. Mine was gone when I was really little. I don't really know... how it's supposed to be. Stuff with my mum was different, and then things got really bad with her before Harry took me in." Maybe they wouldn't have been so bad if Harry hadn't meddled. Eggsy would never know. "I don't think Harry's got much practice at being a dad neither."

"Mmm, probably not," Percival admitted. "Harry's always been a personality I could imagine well with children, he's genuinely interested in people, all different sorts, and he's good at being a teacher, but he's never had any of his own before you came along and there is a big difference between being a mentor for five minutes versus a lifetime. Harry plays his personal life fairly close to the vest, but...I wouldn't doubt he took you in without some knowledge of that."

Despite himself, Eggsy felt the corners of his mouth twitch up upon hearing that Percival reckoned Harry to be good with children. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. And he's been teachin' me a lot of things. He did let me pick if I wanted to get adopted by him or not."

Eggsy shuffled from foot to foot, restless. Percival was nice, but he was a stranger, and Eggsy didn't know how to talk to him. "Prob'bly should get goin'. I should check up on Harry, see how he's doin'."

Percival smiled indulgently and nodded. "Right then. It was good to meet you, Eggsy, and I hope to see you again. Don't forget to bother Harry about that. I'm sure Roxy would love to meet you. Do you remember the way now?" Eggsy nodded, and Percival stood, looking like he was ready to get back to the weights. "Good, good. And say hello for me." 

"I will." Eggsy beat a hasty retreat, putting a few hallways between him and the gymnasium before his pace slowed. Percival's words weighed on his mind. So did thoughts of Harry - of everything he'd done, good and bad, and especially the way he'd looked in the storeroom. The way he'd looked earlier when Eggsy had talked back to him, too. Harry claimed to still love him, but what kind of person did the things that he'd done to the one they loved?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (4/16) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	39. Chapter 39

Eggsy didn't have any answers by the time he arrived in front of the right door. A fancy letter G was fixed onto the wood. It was a good number of seconds before Eggsy could make himself touch the doorknob, and a few more before he opened the door.

The first thing he noticed was that there was only a single light on in the room. At a glance, it looked very like his new guest room, spacious, with ornate furniture. Glass mirrors and paintings hung on the walls, and just around the corner of the short hall was a bed where the single glowing lamp was lit at its side. 

The room was empty, or so Eggsy thought. He got a few steps inside before he noticed the blankets were piled up over a figure on the bed and caught a glimpse of a furrowed brow and a tuft of brown hair. 

Eggsy glanced at the shut door behind him, just for a moment. He could have sneaked out unnoticed if he'd wanted to, but this was also an opportunity. Eggsy remembered watching Harry sleep before, when he'd been _Harry_. He wondered if what he'd see would change now that he knew more. 

The boy stepped quietly, inching around the bed until he could get a better look. Other than the bruises and deeper lines etched from fatigue and pain, Harry looked just the same. Unexpectedly so, just as soft and warm and vulnerable as Eggsy remembered his lover being. Sleep had dishevelled the man's hair in the way Eggsy had loved so much, watching all the neat, calculated lines come undone.

Harry was breathing slowly, but not loud. He looked like he was pretty deep under, and it was surprising how Eggsy could tell. That he could still remember what Harry sounded like when he was dozing lightly or when he was out cold or somewhere in between. It was rare for Harry to be asleep like this in the early evening, especially when he'd told Eggsy that he would be by to see him later, but then again, Harry was pretty banged up. Not just physically. He'd been down in that storeroom for days, probably thinking he was about to die and never knowing when. 

Eggsy still didn't know how to feel about that. They'd made it out alright, but Harry had been ready to die. He'd never asked for Eggsy to save him. He'd been more concerned about Eggsy himself getting out of there, and that clashed with Eggsy's image of the man as selfish and predatory. Galahad had manipulated Eggsy and Eggsy's life for his own desires, heedless of what it would do to Eggsy or other people in his life. Harry from Eggsy's memories was the caring, protective one. The man in the storeroom shouldn't have been both at once.

As Eggsy was contemplating this, he was pretty sure Harry was under well enough not to sense Eggsy's presence and wake up. He didn't expect the sudden beeping of the alarm at Harry's bedside table, and nearly jumped out of his skin when it went off. He made such a wild motion that he didn't have time to get hold of himself and get out of there before Harry's eyes opened and landed on him.  
Harry blinked once and then lifted himself up quickly, so quickly that he stopped abruptly with one arm under his pillow and the other reaching out to steady himself. He looked disoriented and closed his eyes, giving himself a moment to regain his balance. "Eggsy?"

Eggsy froze. His mind was screaming at him to run, a fear that was reflected in his eyes, but he couldn't get his feet to move. The breath left his lungs - more so when he took in the fact that Harry wasn't just awake, but was at least bare-chested underneath the covers. Sitting up had revealed bandaged and bruised skin that was very familiar, bare skin that had haunted Eggsy's dreams as a source of longing, grief, and anger. "Um... h-hey. I just... I came to check on you, s-since you didn't come back, but I didn't want to... wake you up."

Harry put one hand to his face and Eggsy began to wonder if his dizziness wasn't just a product of being startled awake. "S'alright," Harry mumbled. "Just allow me a moment...." Harry rubbed at his eyes and finally started to look like he wasn't going to collapse back down. When he looked at Eggsy again, his eyes were clear and he didn't seem to be in much pain. He gave Eggsy a half smile like he was trying to make light of the situation. "I didn't mean to leave you for so long. Just thought I'd take a nap for a few hours before dinner." Harry glanced around the room before his gaze landed on something over Eggsy's shoulder. "Would you, um, hand me that robe there?"

Eggsy's movements were slow and cautious. Harry definitely seemed drugged, not just groggy from sleep. The thought made Eggsy breathe a bit easier. It felt safer that way, with Harry slower to react and perhaps more likely to give honest responses when his thoughts were clouded.

Eggsy drew closer to the bed with the robe in hand. He turned and looked away once Harry took it. "Still not feelin' great? You didn't use to nap much unless you came back from a mission and felt bad."

"I'm afraid it'll take some time for me to recover from this one." Eggsy heard the sound of the mattress moving and then cloth over cloth as Harry wound the robe around his waist. "How was your day around the grounds? No one's bothered you too much, I hope?" When Eggsy glanced back, he found Harry staring at him with hair ruffled and bandages mostly hidden, but there was a look on his face like longing. Not the lust filled kind Eggsy could remember seeing on him before, but something sad. 

"I went up and played with the dogs for a bit, wandered around. Got bored and walked around the halls. There's not much to do." Eggsy shrugged. Part of him was regretting coming to Harry's room. Landon might not have interfered had things gone awry in his office, but he at least presented a barrier. Being alone with Harry, in Harry's room and while he was in such a state of undress, felt incredibly intimate. "I met... someone called Percival? We talked for a bit. He said to tell you to bring me 'round the next party, to meet his daughter. He also said a bit about you. That you like savin' people."

Harry frowned at that and looked away. "You don't sound like you believe him very well." He shifted the covers off his legs and, slowly and with one hand to the bedpost, climbed to his feet. He didn't approach Eggsy though. Instead, he went to the toilet and splashed some water over his face without bothering to shut the door behind him.

"Don't seem much like you're in the business of savin'. Least not from problems you didn't make yourself." Eggsy licked his lips. His throat felt bone dry, enough that his voice came out rough when he spoke again. "Did you... send Dean? And the others? Or make it worse? What about that guy that burned up? That don't... really seem like savin'."

Through the mirror, Eggsy could see Harry's eyes close before he shook his head. "I've told you before, and it was true, that I never sent Dean nor any of your mother's other male friends. When she began to date again, I...I followed the first one who hit her to a pub and left him beaten in the alley." Harry dried his face and hands on a towel and didn't look at Eggsy. "The man in the fire wasn't for Kingsman. He was a separate project, a man who acquired funds by secretly burning down properties he owned and occasionally the people in them. He had done very bad things, but no, that was not about saving people."

"So you get to make that choice? If someone does bad stuff, you get to do bad stuff to 'em?" Part of Eggsy was horrified. It went against everything he'd been taught in schools and by his mother. Violence was bad unless it was a last resort to protect someone. Things had to go through the legal system. Murder was always wrong.

Another part of Eggsy was jealous. He'd wanted to get rid of everyone who hurt his mother. He'd seen just how much the law had failed his own family and others. He'd wanted to hit bullies back, but never had been big enough. "Who've you saved, huh? Who?"

Harry finished wiping his hands and turned to Eggsy finally. He rested his arm against the door frame and stared through Eggsy, face flat. "Would you like an account of every mission I've been on where a life was saved either by my hand or because of my actions? Would you like to pick that apart and weigh it against the wrong that I've done? See which way the scales tip? I'll have Merlin send you the reports." 

"I don't want your stupid friend's bloody reports. He's just as much a liar as you anyways," Eggsy shot back. "That won't let me know you none, either. I need to hear things from _you_. Even if it's a bunch of rubbish. I don't-"

Eggsy pressed one palm to his mouth. The room seemed to spin. The boy just manage to catch himself and land on the edge of the bed before his balance gave way. "I don't even know who you are. I don't know who I ate with. Spent time with. Who _fucked_ me. I don't even know. Are you someone different to everyone you talk to? Just pretendin' to be whoever they would like you to be?"

Harry stepped closer, his palms up. He'd nearly darted towards Eggsy, but halted the motion as soon as it started. "Eggsy, please, sit down and just breathe. I'll answer your questions. Just..." Harry stopped before he came too close, his hands hovering in the air uncertainly before drawing back into himself. "Let me make you a cup of tea. I'll answer you, alright?" Harry looked afraid. He looked like he thought Eggsy would break if he touched him, and yet had to watch Eggsy breaking apart all the same right in front of him. 

Eggsy nodded quickly. His pulse had skyrocketed as soon as Harry had started towards him. Eggsy hated himself because, as afraid as he was of the man, another part of him wanted to be touched just like he'd been earlier. It had been so long since he'd been comforted or had any sort of physical affection, and Harry still sounded and looked and smelled familiar. "Okay. Tea is okay."

"Okay." Harry hurried to the other side of the room where there was a small kitchenette and refrigerator and began preparing a kettle. His movements were quick and, for a moment, his face looked haunted. But then his back was to Eggsy and there was distance between them again until Harry finished and leaned against the counter. 

They sat in silence while the kettle boiled and Eggsy tried to calm down. Harry fished two mugs out of a cupboard and prepared Eggsy's with milk and sugar, just the way he remembered. Slowly, Harry approached and set Eggsy's mug on the night stand where Eggsy could reach it. "Careful when you pick it up," Harry warned softly, before he moved to an armchair across from the bed with his own mug. 

Eggsy didn't know whether to feel relieved or rejected. He felt both at once. The scent of tea was familiar and soothing at least, as was the sight of the steam drifting out of the mug. "I... don't even know what to ask you. Everythin', I guess. I know you said everythin' wasn't a lie and all fake, but I got no way of knowin' that. For all I know, everythin' between us was just more of you playin' a game to get me in your house and in your bed. None of your coworkers know, do they? Besides Landon."

Harry shook his head and took a sip of his tea, the motion seemingly by rote. "No, they don't." He sighed and lowered the mug to his lap. "It is difficult for me to speak of any merits to my character when I hold them under the weight of the contempt that you, rightly, feel for me. One does not cancel out the other, and it would be folly for me to try. No matter how many lives I've saved, I have still wronged you." Harry looked a little more human when he spoke, but not any happier. 

"Damn right, you did." Eggsy was emphatic on that count, and a bit soothed when Harry looked even more unhappy. He felt better like that - not afraid of Harry and not being threatened by him. Harry admitting his guilt and feeling bad about it. Eggsy reached over for the mug sitting on the bedside table waiting for him. "Why me, anyways? How come it was me? You could've gotten anyone. Even someone little. Maybe you already have, and I just didn't know about it. I heard other countries, things are pretty different from here. I saw the tapes and you were watchin' me since forever. Why me?"

Eggsy caught a flash of something cross Harry's face before he schooled it away. "You were...beautiful. Enchanting. At first, that was enough for me to come back just to see you again. I was curious to know you, even in just a small way. When I put an audio receiver outside your mother's door I...discovered I loved the sound of your voice. The things you'd say.... You weren't a callous or cruel child. You liked to play. And whenever you lied to your mother, it was never done with ill intent. I followed you for so long because...because I _liked_ you. That doesn't happen with just any young boy." 

"So you never followed anyone else like you did me? No microphones and cameras in their flat, in their room?" Eggsy flushed just thinking about it. Harry had seen him naked many times over before they'd even met, most likely. He'd expressed himself and explored himself in what he'd thought was the privacy of his bedroom and the shower. "How many others like me you slept with? That you liked like me?"

Harry's jaw clenched. "You mean other boys." It wasn't a question. Harry didn't hide his frown. "I've never followed anyone like I did with you, not like that, for so long and with hopes that...you might live with me someday, grow up with me." Harry paused before he forced himself to continue. "I have slept with other boys, both when I was one myself and...when I was older. My relationships with them were...not what they were like with you. Kind, loving, I was even a short term mentor perhaps, but...," Harry blinked, swallowed, looked away. "There is a world of difference, Eggsy."

Eggsy flared up in anger. He wanted to hit Harry again. Deep down, in a place he didn't want to admit existed... he wanted to hit the other boys too. They'd been targets just like he had been, it hadn't been their fault, and yet Eggsy loathed the idea of Harry with anyone else. "A world of difference. Like, a short plane ride out to get some tail, or what? Did you ever do any of that while you was with me?"

Harry's face went flat again. "No, I didn't. Even for a long time before you, I didn't." It wasn't particularly safe or easy, except that Harry had the convenience of Kingsman resources and the training of a spy. Eggsy knew how often Harry travelled, and those short plane rides came often enough. Harry's hands wrapped around his mug, but he didn't lift it again. He didn't speak any further on the point, either. 

"Is that the face you make when you don't want to tell me the truth now? Or just because you don't like my questions? You used to lie by smiling often enough. I can't even bloody tell. The only time I could tell was when you got all nervous that once." Eggsy's heart was pounding again, the room spinning. The boy had to force himself to breathe slow and deep. He took a drink from his own mug, but he kept his eyes on Harry all the while. If the man so much as flinched, he wanted to see. 

Harry frowned and the flatness faded a little. His eyes were on Eggsy now, but Eggsy could see that Harry was worried about him, not thinking just of the answers. "It is a simple distaste for the questions. Or rather, your reaction to the questions," Harry said quietly. "You're assuming I coerced these boys into being with me, even though in my youth it took far less effort to find someone willing and with far less complicated circumstances. Circumstances that I didn't need to alter to my benefit."

Eggsy stared, uncomprehending. Slowly, his brows drew together. "You... why'd you think you had to? Is that why you did everything, 'cause you thought-... you thought I wouldn't want to be with you otherwise? That I wouldn't like you, wouldn't fall in-," Eggsy swallowed the end of his sentence. He had to lean over and set his mug back on the bedside table; his hands were shaking. "You didn't think you were likeable just as you are? Or you think you're too old for anyone to want you? That's sorta what you said before. That you weren't gonna get another chance."

Harry looked away. He moistened his lips, but it still took him a moment to answer. "There is no reason a man my age might have to both approach and then befriend someone like you. And as for someone like you wanting to be around me yourself, well...." Barely perceptibly, Harry gave a one shouldered shrug. He didn't look back at Eggsy again, like he was just waiting for judgement to be passed or for the topic to move on, but Eggsy could see the tension in Harry's hands around the mug.

"You think I wouldn't have wanted you, if you hadn't tricked me? That's _bollocks_ , Harry." Eggsy's voice was just as quiet as Harry's had been. He clasped his hands together to stop their quivering, still all raw nerves. "You didn't trick me that way. I'll blame you plenty for other things, like messin' with my mum and lyin' to me. Maybe even bits of things was an act, to you. I don't know. But you didn't do nothin' to make me get a crush on you. I had that for a while, after I got over the whole posh thing and wonderin' if you looked down on me. You didn't _trick_ me into findin' you attractive, you already were."

Harry's eyes darted up to Eggsy again. His face didn't change right away, but it was clear that meant something to Harry. "I had never wanted to coerce you," Harry whispered. The room was quiet enough for Eggsy to hear, but only just. Harry's mouth opened, but he seemed at a loss for words. He looked back down to his mug. "Thank you, for understanding that." 

"I know you already said most of it wasn't a lie, but... I mean, was it? Did you pretend to be someone else? Someone nicer and completely different, like you were on one of your missions?" Sorrow bled into Eggsy's features and his grip turned white knuckled. "You didn't trick me into findin' you attractive, but I can't tell if you tricked me into fallin' for someone that ain't real. I don't know if you said things just because you knew I'd like them and you wanted to sleep with me, or what. I did figure out that some of that was at least to get me thinkin' about it. About doin' more with you."

Harry's mouth pulled tight and he took a sip of his tea. "I did say things that led our interactions into that territory, yes, but I didn't change my personality for you. Even I wouldn't have enjoyed sustaining a completely different persona for so long. I simply...left out the parts that were colder. And once you returned my affections...once you decided you liked all that we did together, I didn't need to lead you into those things any longer." 

"What did you leave out?" Eggsy's gaze sharpened and he leaned forward. "If I only knew part of you, that's not really the same as knowing you. At all. What don't I know yet? Is there more than being a spy and killin' people, or stickin' cameras everywhere to spy on me, or doin' stuff to make me leave my mum for you?"

Harry shook his head. "No, you know all that now. Just the fact that you never saw me kill like that. ...and you imagined it differently. I know you did." Harry met Eggsy's eyes. "It _frightened_ you. Last night. You've looked at me differently ever since you saw those videos. ...you actually thought that I was going to chase you down and hurt you the night you left, that I might kill you." Harry didn't look proud of that. There was pain in his eyes when he looked at Eggsy. 

"I... I watched you kill a bunch of people, and leave someone to burn to death. Maybe they were bad, but I didn't know that, or if they deserved that. Just comin' here that once, the guards were about ready to shoot me. I thought... I'd found out too many secrets, and if you didn't keep me locked up, that you might-" Eggsy swallowed. "Maybe the people here would make you kill me to stop the secrets gettin' out. Or you would, so I wouldn't tell on you. I didn't even know if I was the first one. Maybe you'd gotten involved with others, y'know? And gotten rid of them later. You chased me down so quick, and the way you were stalkin' around the train yard, I thought..."

Eggsy looked down. It was difficult to look Harry in the eye when he had such a sorrowful expression. "It felt like I was in one of those horror movies. Where the person you liked best turns out to be the secret murderer and hunts you down. I didn't know what to expect from you anymore."

Harry sniffed and nodded. "You couldn't have known, no. I didn't...give you the opportunity to know that part of me." Harry's fingers around his mug weren't so tense anymore, but they flexed with restlessness. The look on his face was one Eggsy remembered when Harry wanted to go to him and comfort him, but Harry didn't so much as lean closer in his seat. Harry's mouth thinned before he asked a question of his own. "Do you still believe I'd hurt you?"

Eggsy licked his lips and thought about it. He knew what Harry meant. "I don't think you'd kill me anymore, no. 'Specially not after I saved you. I think you'd still hurt me, though, 'cause you've hurt me already a couple of times. Maybe for some of them you didn't want to, but that was more that you just hoped I'd never find out, an' that's not the same thing as not meanin' it."

Harry nodded. "I'm glad for that much." He looked down at his tea and then back to Eggsy, and Eggsy could see the way he tried to make his body relax. Harry succeeded, mostly. If he hadn't been so beaten and looked so tired, he'd probably have done a better job of it. "Have you had dinner yet?" he asked as though he'd started to realise Eggsy had come to his room for a reason and he was keeping them in a situation that was undoubtedly uncomfortable. 

"No, not yet." Eggsy watched Harry, doing his best to play the gracious host, and found himself caught up at the sight. He'd spent so much time and energy running away from Harry and everything that had happened. There was nowhere left to run, and Eggsy found that he had little taste for running anymore. He didn't feel as powerless after making the choice to save Harry. Eggsy now knew that Harry wasn't invincible and unstoppable, and he also knew that he could survive even when his world came tumbling down.

The boy wasn't the same one who left, not entirely. The hole in him hadn't vanished though, and now that some of the fear and insecurity had gone, some of the old longing and fascination had taken hold again. That, and a hunger for answers. 

Harry took a deep breath and nodded, setting his tea down on an end table and lifting himself carefully out of the chair. "Then let me get dressed and we'll head up to the cafeteria." 

Whatever Harry had taken for his injuries looked like it was wearing off if his wince and the way he'd seemed less sluggish was anything to go by, but he walked stiffly to his closet and rifled through a few items before heading to the toilet again and closing the door behind him. 

Eggsy looked around the room now that he was no longer being observed. Touches of Harry's style had been added here and there, but less than at his home. This wasn't a room he regularly stayed in.

The bed still had a slight indentation in it from where Harry had been sleeping. Eggsy's gaze flicked towards the loo and, still hearing the rustling of fabric inside, he leaned forward. His eyes shut and he breathed in.

It was just like Eggsy had remembered. Different place, different sheets, but the same scent clinging to them that he'd found so comforting.

He'd heard somewhere once, maybe even from Harry, that scent memories were the strongest humans had. Harry's scent was as visceral as jumping back through time. He'd woken up next to Harry often enough, curled into his chest or with Harry's arms around him, or even when Harry climbed out of bed before Eggsy got up and he smashed his face into the pillows while Harry made breakfast, not wanting to get dressed. 

Eggsy didn't have long with it though. Before he knew it, the door handle turned and Harry stepped out of the toilet, shirt and trousers neatly in place. 

Eggsy straightened quickly enough that a muscle cramped in protest. He turned and snatched the mug with the remainder of his tea off the bedside table, making a pretence at activity and preoccupation to try to hide what he'd been doing. Eggsy had been used to Harry dressing at a leisurely pace when well, and he'd thought injuries would have given him more time. Evidently Harry was motivated.

If Harry had noticed, he didn't say anything. He glanced over Eggsy, but then moved off to the closet to find a tie and cuff links, and Eggsy couldn't tell whether he'd been caught. Harry faced away from him and wrapped a tie around his neck, securing it without even looking in a mirror before he found his cuffs, a clip, and toed on his shoes. 

It was a routine Eggsy remembered well. Although back then Harry had often caught Eggsy's eye in the mirror and talked to him while Harry dressed. Even if Eggsy was barely awake and barely paying attention, Harry had liked to talk to him. 

"Harry...?" Eggsy waited until the man's head turned, and his brow furrowed in thought. This was a topic that couldn't be discussed in the cafeteria where they might be overhead. "What had you been going to do? The night I ran away, I mean, when you came after me."

Harry blinked. He clearly remembered that night as well as Eggsy did. "I wanted to catch you and...and try to explain everything. Beg you not to leave. Try to make you understand.... I didn't exactly have a plan." Harry's voice turned quiet. "You slipped through my fingers so fast and so unexpectedly. I panicked. ...I think I panicked for months after that." 

Harry's head lowered. "I'd have found another way for you to live if it came to that. I couldn't stand the thought of you on the street. You don't know how close I came to picking you up and forcing you off somewhere else. Somewhere you didn't have to see me, but just _anywhere_ else."

"You... you weren't just gonna keep me locked in the house, or somethin'? I thought..." Eggsy stared, and when Harry gave him a pained look a jolt of shame shot through him. "I didn't know, ok? I saw all the tapes from your house, and my mum's flat going back for years, and the videos of you killin' people, and I thought that was it. You weren't gonna let me go, and you weren't going to play nice anymore now that I knew."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded. "I wish I had found you that night. I wish you'd never had to believe that." 

Tentatively, Harry raised his hand and took a step forward. He watched Eggsy's eyes as he moved, looking for any sign that would tell him to back away. Harry was still looking for that sign when his palm landed on Eggsy's shoulder. He squeezed once and let go. "I am sorry for more than I can say." Harry let his hand drop to his side and looked back at his closet, habit, eyes searching for his jacket without really looking. 

Eggsy waited patiently while Harry shrugged into his jacket and found his cane. Walking was going to be difficult without the pain medication. Once Harry was ready to go, Eggsy slipped out of the door in front of him.

"How long do we gotta stay here? Headquarters," Eggsy clarified. He fell into step beside Harry, although a good amount of space was between them. "I get that it's safe from the people who're lookin' for me, but it's really borin'. I've got nothin' to do here, except go play with the dogs."

Surprisingly, Harry laughed. It was small, and short, a breath really, but it was still a real laugh. "Only until tomorrow. We'll be meeting the Wilsons at noon, so you'll have some time for breakfast and any last details before we head off." Harry thought for a moment as they walked. "If I'm not mistaken...I believe Cooper down in the lower tech department set up a Nintendo by his workstation several months ago. He thinks he's been keeping it from Merlin, but I'm afraid he's overestimated his stealth. I might be able to have someone confiscate it for you." 

Eggsy's countenance brightened. "That'd be nice. I didn't know what I was gonna do later. I saw the gym and pool and stuff, but I don't have anything to wear here and it felt like I wasn't supposed to be there anyways. I guess it makes sense that spy headquarters aren't set up for visitors."

"How come you got the codenames you did, anyways?" Eggsy asked as they walked. "Galahad and Merlin and Percival and... Arthur? Did you get to pick? 'Cause I gotta say, I think you got cheated if you did. Everyone wants to be named after the wizard if it's a choice of that or a knight."

"You'd rather be a _wizard_ than a knight, huh? I'd have to brush up on my tech skills for that. Titles aren't chosen completely at random. Merlin is quite literally our tech wizard. Knights are the field agents. You'll remember when one dies or retires their position, that position and title open to new candidates who undergo tests until only one is left. We don't necessarily choose which title we acquire, but I'll have you know Galahad was said to be the purest of all knights," Harry said with a completely straight face until he glanced down at Eggsy and the corner of his mouth lifted. 

" _Sure_ he was," Eggsy said with a roll of his eyes. "I can see the resemblance. You're pure all right, but it ain't pure saint." Teasing one another felt more like old times, like things were a bit more normal between the two of them even though they weren't. It at least helped with making Harry feel a bit safer. Eggsy wasn't happy with the reminder about mortality, however. He knew how close Harry had come to dying. "Guess you'll be wearing armour for a while yet, huh?"

"Bulletproof suit, as always." Harry smiled. 

It was strange how the air could shift between them from hostile to tense to something carefully approaching amiable. Eggsy wouldn't have thought it possible, and it didn't seem like Harry had either. The atmosphere was delicate, held together by a few strings of words and a tentative attempt at humour, but it was there.

When they reached the cafeteria, it was much busier than the last time they'd been that morning. Glassware clinked and the low hum of conversation spread throughout the open room. There were people in suits like Harry's who'd sectioned themselves off in booths in the corner, and those in slightly more casual clothing in small clusters around the floor tables, mixed here and there. It was difficult to tell who was who except for security personnel and those Eggsy guessed were lower level techs. 

Harry glanced around for only a second before he led Eggsy up to take their order. 

Eggsy was more cautious. He didn't know any of the people at headquarters, and he didn't trust that they were all as friendly and seemingly harmless as Percival had been. They had no reason to start trouble with him, but that didn't mean Eggsy wanted to get close to any of them. Eggsy nearly blanked out once they got to the counter, glancing around for a menu or hints of what he could order. "Um... you got chicken tikka masala? Or curry? Somethin' spicy?"

"Of course," the server smiled politely and wrote a quick order down. "Medium spicy or very spicy?" 

Harry raised a brow and Eggsy thought about it before responding in favour of medium. 

"The vindaloo for me, please. And a bowl of rice pudding," Harry added while he wrote down the rest of their order. Harry's smile, even his body language, and the server's matched in a show of manners Eggsy hadn't encountered for a long time. Then Harry turned to him and nodded to a single table in the corner, one that miraculously hadn't been taken over yet. "It'll be a minute. Let's find a seat."

"Round two, I guess." After a moment, Harry understood what Eggsy meant - another try at spending a meal together after the disastrous interaction that morning. Eggsy glanced around, but the tables were spaced widely enough that they would have a moderate amount of privacy so long as they kept their voices down. He dropped into a seat and watched Harry settle into the chair opposite him, all stiff-limbed and sore. "Your boss better be givin' you a break for a while. No way you should be going on more missions until you're healed up."

"No, I won't be," Harry sighed. "Desk duty for me for the next few weeks or more I'm afraid. Lancelot had to take over with what little intel I had, but I don't think Belmont Industries will be around very much longer as it stands. Not with how determined he is." The warmth seeped out of Harry's tone at that, but he didn't go completely cold, as Eggsy had seen before. He very well could have, being captured and tortured by them after all, but he might have been softening himself for Eggsy's sake. 

"What's gonna happen to them?" Eggsy didn't really count any of his ex-associates as friends, but he didn't want them dead either. They'd given him food, shelter, and a job when he'd had nowhere else to turn. Viv was ambitious, but everyone working under her didn't deserve capital punishment for being involved in the drug trade. "They gonna get arrested, or is it like that warehouse, where everyone dies?"

Harry frowned. "If they aren't caught in the fight, they'll be arrested. If they are...then yes, they probably will be killed. We do not hold back during hostile encounters, but if life can be spared, we to try. If...if you have any names you'd like me to check on, make sure they're taken care of fairly, I will." Harry didn't look comfortable being in that position, but it wasn't obvious, just the set of his shoulders and the way he looked at Eggsy so carefully.

"I ... yeah, I'll write some down later. They're not great people, but they took care of me, y'know?" Eggsy rested his head on one palm and absently traced the grain of the table wood in front of him. "Not the big criminals, but the small ones I was with. They took care of me when I didn't have nowhere else to go. I would've starved and frozen if it weren't for them. They don't deserve gettin' killed."

"I'll see to it they're safe so long as they're not involved in the crossfire." Harry really did look concerned. It was that expression Eggsy had remembered as false for so long now, but there it was spreading across Harry's face in the subtlest ways when Harry had no reason to use those tactics anymore. His mouth thinned and he reached for his fork, breaking the moment to spear a piece of chicken and let it cool. But his hand rested against the plate and Harry didn't move for a long minute. "I should have taken you out of there."

"You could've. But I would've hated you." They both knew it, too. Eggsy had panicked and resented anything that felt like restriction. "I thought you were gonna kill me, or trap me. They weren't that bad. I'm just... behind now. With school and everything. I dunno what I'm gonna do. Even trade schools won't take you unless you've got some basics." Eggsy shoveled a few bites of chicken into his mouth and savored the burn of the spices. It was better than contemplating his situation.

"It doesn't matter," Harry said quietly. "I should have made you all the same. I should have shipped you off to some school where you'd have hated it and you'd have run away again, and probably again when I'd bring you back and again after that, but at least you'd have had friends and you would have hated me but eventually you'd figure out that I wasn't going to kill you." Harry stared at the steam coming from his plate, the fork in his hand unmoving. 

"Yeah? Well, you _didn't_ ," Eggsy hissed. "So you gotta fuckin' deal, just like I do. I had to deal then, and I gotta deal now. With missin' school, and havin' to deal with new foster parents, and...with you. Again. I don't know what to do with you. I don't. I saved you and I'm scared to shit of you. And I miss you, or at least who you used to be, if that was even real. I don't know what to do anymore."

Harry looked up and sighed. "You can get a tutor this summer. Spend the next school year catching up on what you've missed. It's not too late, and your scholastic future isn't going to be permanently marred by the lost time so long as you make progress." Eggsy still stared at Harry, gaze piercing, for so long that Harry turned to his meal and finally took a bite. He'd apparently decided to go along with Eggsy's outlook on the matter. It was over. Eggsy was alive. Most importantly, Eggsy's spirits hadn't been diminished, at least not wholly, by either the street or by Harry forcing him back under Harry’s control. 

"Alright, you're gonna pay for a tutor, but that doesn't fix... other things. Maybe I can catch up so far as education goes, but other bits of my life are fucked up," Eggsy said, glancing around to make certain no one else was listening in. "I don't got family anymore. I don't got friends. I don't got anyone to talk to. I don't even know how to trust anyone, between my mum and you and the people I've been workin' with."

Harry met his gaze, face clear but obviously schooled to be so. "I have gathered as much." His mouth turned down. "You'll have the opportunity to see your friends again. You can tell them whatever you like." Obviously there was no fixing this, any of it, and Harry knew it. He had woefully little to offer Eggsy in the form of real value. Harry could pull strings. He had money and power, but couldn't offer Eggsy life with his mother back when things were better between them. 

"They won't care. We're not gonna be close anymore, not after I've been gone so long. I don't know them anymore." Eggsy slouched and picked at his meal, although he still ate. He was too hungry not to. "My mum's still drunk last I checked, too. I don't got anyone anymore. Not even you. I gotta start all over again with some strangers who ain't gonna care about me. People who adopt only care about kids if they're small and cute, and I'm too old for that."

Harry's eyes glanced up at Eggsy but lowered almost as quickly. "They'll be a start, anyhow. They're a fairly young couple, not parents who've fostered children in and out of their door for years. They'll be invested in you and your wellbeing, even if they have less experience with children. I...imagine meeting their extended family would be the first step. They have a fairly large one." They both knew the Wilson's background was quite a bit different from Eggsy's upbringing. However much this couple liked Eggsy, their extended family, and any children Eggsy's age therein, wasn't going to be a sure thing. 

Eggsy nodded. He didn't have much of a choice. He could have chosen another foster family, of course, but none of them were going to be close to what he was used to. "I dunno how to deal with a big family. Hopefully they'll like me. I just don't know. I'm used to goin' off by myself. It's gonna be so weird havin' people around. And two people tryin' to be parents, or somethin' like that."

Half of Harry's mouth lifted, not a full smile, but something close to reassuring. "It will probably feel somewhat suffocating at first. Compared to what you're used to, both in the last year and from your time with your mother. They'll probably be very curious about you, want to do everything together at first. Probably be your friend, even." Harry really did smile at that, imagining it, and imagining how troublesome it was probably going to be for Eggsy, even if it was ultimately a positive change.

"I'm just used to bein' alone now. Between takin' care of myself when my mum was working or not feeling well, and... well, you were gone on missions sometimes, and then I was off fendin' for myself. I didn't really get all that close to anyone I was workin' with. It didn't seem smart to. They weren't friends, and they might've blabbed if they got caught." Despite the bitter feeling in his stomach, Eggsy's food was delicious. After a few bites he started to feel warmed all over, if not comforted.

"Try to give it a chance. Remember, this is only temporary if you want it to be. You can think on a more permanent situation while you're with the Wilsons. They've agreed to that," Harry offered. He began to dig into his plate properly. "But...if you find you don't entirely dislike living with this couple, we can talk about that with them when it comes time." Harry wasn't really looking at Eggsy as he spoke, but he was glancing every once in a while. 

Eggsy made a noise of scepticism. Truth be told, it was understandable that he'd be pessimistic about his chances of liking his foster family. Eggsy didn't have the most positive experiences with adults in a position to care for him, other than before he'd been aware of Harry's duplicity. "And if I don't like 'em? What happens then?"

"Then you find someone you do like. Boarding school is an option as soon as you're caught up. I know that sounds very different from anywhere you've been before, but you might find you'd prefer to be in the company of others your age and older." Harry blew on another piece of chicken. He sounded like he had a list in his head of options he could run down already, even if Eggsy wasn't particularly interested in any of them. 

"Boarding school just sounds so... weird. Old fashioned. Like goin' to one of them schools where nuns hit you with rulers." Eggsy pulled a face. "And the fact that you're never _not_ at school. Better'n sleeping on the street, I guess. I don't wanna do that again."

None of Eggsy's options sounded particularly appealing to the boy, but he didn't have much choice. He couldn't go back to street life, he wasn't allowed to be legally independent, his mother was still a wreck, and he couldn't trust Harry enough to live with him. The only option was fosterage and adoption, or Harry paying for someone to watch over and care for him, which still felt a bit like putting himself back under Harry's control.

"You'll have time to decide. Just give it some thought." Harry sounded like he agreed with Eggsy's sentiment.

Quiet fell between them as they ate. The murmurs of conversation and silverware clattering around them were easy to tune out, but every time Harry's fork scraped against his plate or he reached to take a sip of water, it drew Eggsy's attention. Harry's hands did especially. They always had--long fingered but finely boned. They always looked graceful, even when Harry was doing nothing more than holding a book or a glass of liquor. Even when Harry wasn't thinking about the effect his appearance could have. 

Eggsy couldn't help but stare, trying to be discreet about it while his thoughts wandered towards old memories. Those hands had done so much, from serving food and holding him to comfort, to things far more sensual. The same hands that he'd watched pouring wine, turning pages, and smoothing down his had had been the ones brushing over his lips, stroking him, slipping inside him to open him up. Eggsy had missed sex, and he hadn't had an opportunity to resolve that want when he'd been running drugs. He hadn't trusted anyone enough for such things.

Harry caught him looking and Eggsy averted his gaze, but wasn't able to keep himself from turning red.

Harry's hand paused on the way from his plate. Eggsy saw him breathe in slowly and then out again as he averted his own eyes. And then Harry took another bite and didn't comment on it. He kept his eyes off Eggsy and on his vindaloo, and didn't try to start up conversation again. 

Dinner ended like that, quietly finishing before Harry spoke again. "Do you have everything you need tonight? Toothpaste and a toothbrush should be in the toilet of your rooms. The pyjamas in the closet will be quite large on you, but feel free to use them if you'd like. Perhaps the Wilsons can take you on a shopping trip after you get there."

"Are they even gonna have money for that? I don't got anything anymore. Not even a change of clothes. I got a bit of leftover cash what was in my pockets during the escape, but my savings was all back at the other place. Ain't smart to carry too much quid on you when working with criminals," Eggsy explained. "The room's fancy and everything, but it feels weird. The bed's soft, and it's so quiet. I'm used to sleepin' while all kinds of stuff is going on."

Harry gave him a small smile. "Afraid I can't do much about that. But I'll be giving the Wilsons a regular allowance to spend. Your...'inheritance' from a deceased family member would perhaps be best to tell them. They'll know me only as your case worker, and I do not have to be involved in your life any more than you request or is needed." Harry watched Eggsy calmly, no doubt waiting to see his reaction to the lie. 

"Case worker." Eggsy stiffened ever so slightly, his eyes going flat. "So you're gonna be checkin' up on me, and visitin', and signing off on where I get to go. _Get_ bein' the operative term. I imagine you'll find all sorts of ways to make yourself needed."

A prickle of suspicion moved through the boy. He kept his voice level and very, very quiet. "How many cameras you got in the Wilsons' place?"

"Eggsy...." Harry closed his eyes and he looked like he wanted to rub his temple. "It's only so that I can hand you over to them with a reasonable story, and if or when you decide to go to school or need a tutor or money or whatever else, they won't question my presence. You never have to see me at all if you'd prefer, and there are no cameras in their flat." Harry spoke calmly, but there was no question the sudden change in Eggsy put him off. 

"Harry, you spent a bunch of time lyin' to me while promisin' me you were tellin' the truth. You can't be surprised I don't just take you at your word anymore. About anythin'. If it's somethin' we need for me to get into schools and stuff, fine, but I don't plan on being easy to trick and control again." Eggsy looked up, and his gaze hardened. "Nothin' happens without my say so. And I'll decide how much I want to see you. Alright?"

"Okay." Harry's face didn't change. His voice was flat, but he sounded like he was taking Eggsy seriously. "You can call me when you need to, my number is the same. I will look into getting you a tutor and you can expect to hear from them directly." Harry watched Eggsy take his words in like he was trying to determine if he was being believed or not. "For now, however, you should go back to your room. You don't have to go to sleep, but it'll be getting late soon." 

"When I need to," Eggsy repeated, ignoring Harry’s suggestion. "For anything I want, or just dealin' with the Wilsons? 'Cause you're not gettin' rid of me either. I don't care if you feel guilty about stuff. You don't get to control me, but you also don't get to just hand me off. So long as you're not trying to manipulate or record me, I want to see you. When I want." Eggsy ate the last few bites of his food and watched Harry absorb his words.

Harry sat back in his chair, his shoulders loose, slumped. "Whenever you need, or want to." He didn't sound like he had particularly high expectations that Eggsy would call him just because he wanted to talk, but Eggsy had made it clear enough that the option was going to be available to him and Harry didn't fight it. Harry understood why Eggsy talked with him now, why Eggsy had been asking him questions and looking for some kind of closure, but it didn't sound like he expected it to last. 

Eggsy nodded. Part of him felt victorious that Harry was so acquiescing and so stricken. He wasn't in control anymore. Eggsy was, and he planned on damn well keeping it that way. "Right. Well. If you're done, I suppose we should be gettin' back. I'm not forbidden from goin' places at night, am I? I'm not gonna be locked in?"

"No. But make sure you do get some sleep tonight. And stay out of trouble." Harry frowned and chewed his lip for a moment, but then he stood. He had to use the cane, stiff from sitting so long and now stretching. He looked like he wanted to wince in pain, but his face didn't show it. Eggsy could only guess. Harry did sigh when he was up though and waited politely for Eggsy to stand. "You remember the way back?"

"Yeah, I do. I'll be alright. I guess I'll talk to you later." Eggsy gave Harry one final glance and then he walked out. Given that he could move without the benefit of a cane, he was much faster. The boy was through the cafeteria doors before Harry reached them.

Eggsy wasn't done yet. Not by a long shot, but he needed to think, and his room was as good a place as any.

The halls of Kingsman HQ had gotten busier while they'd been at dinner. Eggsy found himself dodging people in suits walking by faster than usual and he wondered if it had anything to do with the situation at Belmont. Harry had said that would be going down soon, if it hadn't already. It was impossible to tell from the faces of the people he passed whether this was normal or not, or whether something was amiss. 

Five minutes after Eggsy shut himself up in his room, however, there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, wary of who he might find on the other side, he found a young woman with a bun and glasses similar to Harry's standing there. "Eggsy?" She peered down at him and then held out a bundle of electronics in her arms. "I've been told this is for you." 

"Thanks." Eggsy took the bundle from the lady, a bit mystified, but quickly recognized it as the Nintendo console Harry had talked about, including a few game discs. He wouldn't have a chance to play much, given that he was supposed to move out tomorrow to see the Wilsons. "Um. Bye?" Eggsy waited until the woman left down the hall, then shut the door and tossed the console on his bed.

He wasn't planning on spending the evening gaming. He'd had another idea, one that was more risky than not, but irresistible. After a few minutes, the boy slipped out of his room now that he was certain the deliverer was gone. From the hallway it was a simple matter to retrace his path to Harry's room.

It was lucky for him that part of the building wasn't so busy. He kept his head down and stopped around the corner when he heard the low murmur of Harry's voice in the hall. Eggsy didn't have to look to tell that the man was standing outside his door and speaking to someone else. It was hard to make out words, but Harry sounded tired. A few things filtered through. 

"--will have a list for you by tomorrow. Just make sure to hold everyone for now. We owe him that much." 

Landon's soft burr followed Harry's in a tone Eggsy couldn't quite make out, but he could tell that their conversation was wrapping up after a few more exchanges. He heard footsteps turn the other way and then the click of Harry's door. 

Eggsy waited with baited breath until he was certain the hallway was clear. A glance confirmed it, and he snuck a few more feet until he reached the doorway with the G on the outside. Ever so carefully, he turned the handle and cracked it open, then slipped inside.

He didn't see Harry right away, but his pulse sped up as soon as he was through the doorway. This was madness, nearly literally. He had no reason to be there, and yet he had at least one.

He heard sounds coming from the toilet. Running water behind the closed door and the sound of a cabinet opening. Harry was brushing his teeth. 

Luckily for Eggsy, the door was closed. He saw Harry's jacket draped over the back of a chair, but didn't see his shoes anywhere. Harry had probably gone straight to wash up. Possibly even to get ready for bed. If he'd taken more pain meds, he might be groggy like he was when he'd woken up earlier. 

Eggsy glanced at the door, then around the room. It was a gamble that Harry's quarters were secured. Eggsy would bet on it, however, given his friendship with Landon, who seemed to be one of the heads of digital security. Whatever he did would get erased.

He stripped quickly, tossing his clothing into one corner and sliding underneath Harry's covers to wait. Harry wouldn't miss him, but he was counting on not being denied either.

The sounds coming from behind the door quieted after Harry gargled mouthwash and the water turned off. Every passing second drew out with each movement behind that door. Eggsy thought he heard Harry sigh, and then there was silence, a long moment of silence before the handle turned and the door opened, Harry's arm reaching out to turn the light off behind him. He was still dressed, but for his jacket, just his sleeves rolled up and his tie missing, and when Harry lifted his head, he froze mid step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (4/23) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	40. Chapter 40

Harry's face didn't change when he saw Eggsy lying in his bed. It was more like time stopped for him altogether. 

Eggsy lifted his chin in determination. He looked over Harry and found him much like he remembered, at least as far as he could see. The same pattern of softness and hardness that had haunted Eggsy's dreams. "C'mon, then. I never knew you to be the shy sort. Or ain't you done yet?"

Harry breathed in. He must have stopped at some point. His mouth opened and nothing came out, but he reached up to grip the door even though he seemed to be standing perfectly fine. His eyes travelled down Eggsy like he could see through the bedsheets. 

Harry wetted his lips and swallowed. When he spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "Eggsy, what are you doing?" 

"Exactly what I wanna. Unless you want things with a bunch of strings attached," Eggsy counted with a rebellious jut of his chin. "I ain't full of tricks like you. I missed this, and it's not like I've got other ways of gettin' 'em safely. Not like I want some stranger, neither. I'm not stupid, I know about STIs." 

Eggsy frowned. "Are you seriously gonna turn me down, after everythin'? I know you still want me, and you owe me."

Harry's mouth closed. If Eggsy wasn't mistaken, he looked paler, but he took a step towards the bed and then another until he sat down next to Eggsy and looked at him. Harry looked over him like he didn't know what to say. His throat worked before he found the words. "You could barely touch me the other day," Harry countered. "How could you stand my touch now?"

"'Cause it's gonna be _me_ in control," Eggsy insisted. "And you're gonna stop exactly when I say, if I do. None of this trickin' me into stuff. We only do what I want, and right now I want this. I want you. I can't get this anywhere else, and I don't trust anyone else with this sorta thing. I know you don't wanna hurt me, and you say that you love me. So c'mon." Eggsy leaned closer, mouth set into a stubborn line.

"Eggsy...." Harry's voice nearly broke, but he couldn't take his eyes away from the boy. He reached out, brushed his fingers against Eggsy's fist where it curled around the blanket, but he didn't try for any more contact than that. When Harry turned though, Eggsy could see that the line of his trousers wasn't so smooth anymore. Harry looked conflicted beyond words. He looked like he was ready to tell Eggsy he didn't really want this at any second, and yet he wasn't moving away either. The line between his brows was deeper than ever and Eggsy had never seen his eyes look so wide and so brown. "What do you want me to do?"

Eggsy turned his wrist and caught Harry's arm, preventing him from moving away. "It ain't obvious? I want to fuck. But on my terms, this time, not 'cause you tricked me into it. I missed this and doin' things by myself isn't the same. I ain't gonna trap you or anything. I don't have a bunch of hidden cameras. I just want you, without you lyin' to me."

Harry searched his face, brows furrowed, but not in confusion any longer. He looked like Eggsy had asked to be broken, but he kicked off his shoes and brought his legs up onto the bed. He laid down next to Eggsy, on top of the covers and just stared before he reached his hand up to touch his fingers to Eggsy's cheek. When Eggsy didn't pull away, Harry slid them back into Eggsy’s hair in a touch so familiar that they could have been lying in bed like this a year and a half ago when their worries seemed so few in comparison. Harry's fingers held there, gripping lightly like he didn't want to let go. Eggsy could see wetness in his eyes. 

Small hands reached forward. One stroked Harry's cheek before latching around his neck, the other drifting towards Harry's waist. Eggsy seemed determined and, moreover, he actually seemed to want Harry. Anger was still simmering beneath the surface, but hunger was too. Eggsy didn't trust Harry as far as his daily life and wellbeing went, but he was trusting him with his body and his sexuality. For the moment.

It was strange how this was perhaps the one thing Eggsy was confident in about Harry. This was the one thing he really hadn't lied about. Harry had taught him sex. He'd discovered what he liked with Harry, and Harry had never hidden his desires from Eggsy. 

When Eggsy's fingertips brushed against Harry's hip, over the fabric of his shirt and then down over the hem of his trousers, Harry's eyes almost closed. But then he opened them again and Harry's thumb brushed behind Eggsy's ear, a soft and gentle gesture. Harry looked into his eyes, swallowing before he spoke. "Alright. But promise me this won't hurt you."

"Not unless you're too rough," Eggsy laughed quietly. "I'll tell you if I wanna stop. And you will. We both know I can hurt you if you don't. You don't have all the power anymore. I want you. I'm mad at you for a lot of things, but I want you." And he did; Eggsy had grown hard simply laying there, thinking of what was going to happen, and even more so after he watched Harry sit on the bed and lean towards him. The collar of Harry’s shirt had fallen with gravity, giving a tantalizing view of his collarbone and neck.

Harry's chest rose and fell with a deep breath, but this time, unlike the others, it held an air of longing. Harry shifted closer with the blanket still between them except for Eggsy's arm. His fingertips massaged the back of Eggsy's neck and he watched carefully as every inch between them closed. Harry stopped before he brushed up against Eggsy. His eyes fell to soft, pink lips. Harry glanced up once more before he leaned in and tentatively pressed his mouth to Eggsy's. 

Eggsy arched up, touching his mouth to Harry's in return. Things weren't remotely healed between them, not even close. It didn't matter for this, however. Eggsy's hands came up to frame Harry's face. He ached. Nights and nights of longing had built towards this, cursing Harry's betrayal while wishing for his touch, or an approximate touch. None was to be found but with the man himself.

Harry's mouth opened. He let out a whine and then he was kissing Eggsy. Really kissing him. It took less than a second for Harry to fall back into it and for Eggsy to follow. Harry's fingers buried in his hair before they drew down his back over the blanket, not quite ready to go that far yet. But once Harry started, he couldn't stop kissing Eggsy. He was desperate with it, turning slow and delving exploration into a series of soft kisses that trailed up to the corner of his mouth and then right back again as though he intended to stop every time, but couldn't. 

When Harry finally did break apart, his face was flushed, not pale any longer. His eyes were glistening with the light and maybe more, but he didn't look quite so sad anymore. 

"C'mon," Eggsy whispered, prompting Harry onward. He was fairly panting in order to catch his breath, lips reddened from kissing. He scanned Harry's face with no small amount of desperation, looking for clues of affection. Of truth. Eggsy wanted signs that he was loved and treasured for himself. Harry was still on the other side of the covers. "C'mon. It's my choice. I've missed this."

"Eggsy...," Harry whispered, soft and a little broken, but there was love in it. There was want in it, but more than that. It sounded real. _'Never doubt....'_ Shakespeare came back to Eggsy and so did Harry's words way back then. Harry's hands cupped Eggsy's face before he reached for the blanket, shifted, and drew it down Eggsy's shoulders to his lower back, revealing smooth, pale skin and half a body that had grown some, but was still very small for his age. Harry pushed the covers back so that they were out of his way, but still didn't pull them off Eggsy yet. Harry was looking through him again, but this time it didn't seem like Harry saw all the answers Eggsy was hiding. "I'll do whatever you ask," Harry said softly. 

"Good. You can start by convincin' me that you were tellin' the truth about me. That you want me, not just some kid. Not just me 'cause I'm young enough." Eggsy glanced back at Harry. His face had filled out a little since the last time they'd done this, but barely. "You'll do what I want. You'll stop if I say so. You'll go slow, since I ain't done this since... stuff got bad. You ain't gonna record me without my permission, and you don't get to ask me for more. We only do this when I wanna do it. And none of this gets rid of your debt. You're still gonna owe me."

Harry's eyes turned a little more sober at that. He closed his mouth and nodded once, understanding on some level that this was about scratching an itch. The intimacy of it could not be ignored, but Eggsy only wanted part of that now. Not what they'd had before. 

Harry moved his hands from Eggsy's face down to his lower back and shifted closer. Harry still wanted him, and Eggsy had asked for this, very clearly even within these new boundaries, so Harry would provide. Harry's fingertips drew down the softness of Eggsy's backside, still under the covers, and all the way down to his thigh before they came back up again. Harry's other hand undid the buckle of his belt. 

Eggsy's breathing visibly hitched at the sound of the click of metal and leather. He'd had dreams about such things, drawn from old memories. His wants had never been enough to overrule his caution and send him out onto the streets, looking for someone willing to oblige him. He'd been stuck with fantasy and fingers, neither of which was really up to the task.

"Take everything off," Eggsy breathed against the side of the pillow. He didn't want to feel rushed. He wanted warmth. He wanted to feel loved again, enough that a body curled around him in desire.

Harry removed his hand from Eggsy and the belt slipped loose with a swift pull. He pulled his shirt free of his trousers and undid the buttons one by one. Harry watched Eggsy watch him as he did so, quickly, but by practice and not because he was rushing. Harry seemed a little wary of this yet, but they both had plenty reason to be. The shirt came off as Harry shrugged it over his shoulders, revealing the toned body very familiar to Eggsy. His hands went to his trousers next, unzipping the flies and drawing them down his legs, pants and everything, in one go. Harry toed off his socks and dropped the clothes over the edge of the bed and just laid there, stark naked, looking Eggsy. 

Eggsy's gaze paused at each bruise, scabbed cut, and taped bandage. The intervening time hadn't changed Harry besides that. He was still a contrast of hard muscle and soft skin, comfort and threat. Eggsy didn't doubt that Harry could hurt him even if he was badly injured, but he also wouldn't. Eggsy didn't know what he could trust in regards to Harry in all things, but he knew enough to trust that Harry wouldn't hurt him physically. The boy reached out awkwardly. "Come here? Please."

Harry didn't hesitate. He moved close, almost right up against Eggsy, and looped his arms around Eggsy's small waist. Blood had stirred Harry's cock half hard and it was only growing the closer they came. Harry's hands massaged Eggsy's back, up to his shoulder blades and back down again until they reached the covers. Slowly enough for Eggsy to stop him if he wanted to, Harry drew them away. 

They laid there, side by side, just getting to see each other's bodies again. Harry's fingertips took the same path they had before down Eggsy's back and to his thigh, and then Harry leaned over and kissed Eggsy's shoulder. His touches were gentle. Delicate, even. More so than Eggsy remembered. 

Warm hands on his skin was a shock, especially once they slid between Eggsy's thighs - still relatively chaste, but stimulating enough that Eggsy felt himself immediately grow hard and attentive. The body against his front was familiar, and so was Harry's scent. Underneath everything else, his routine cologne and other toiletries and the dryness of wool and linen, Eggsy had always been able to smell Harry's skin. It brought him right back to old memories of gracing Harry's bed, led there by the man himself or waiting sleeplessly for him to get home and wrap around him. Eggsy shifted against Harry without thinking.

A small gasp escaped Harry's throat. He leaned down again and kissed Eggsy's collar bone, then the base of his neck. Harry was still so much bigger than him and had to curl around Eggsy to do it, but that was what they both remembered. That was all Eggsy had known. One of Harry's hands pressed against the small of the boy’s back and drew him closer, encouraging him to repeat that grinding motion that brought their hips together. Harry was hard now, fully, his flesh pressed against Eggsy's lower stomach, and though Eggsy had grown a little in that area, he was still nowhere near close to Harry's size. 

"Can I touch you?" Harry whispered and Eggsy felt a hand at his hip. 

"Y-yeah." Eggsy's response was breathy and quiet, full of the hesitance they both felt. Eggsy couldn't help but gasp and cant his hips upward once Harry's touch slid inwards. He hadn't even wrapped his fingers around him yet, and already he was prickled with gooseflesh. Harry was weight and hard muscle and big enough to overpower the boy, in size and in strength. Eggsy glanced down and felt his mouth water. "I want more than you touchin' me, though."

Harry nodded, his breath coming hot on Eggsy's skin. "I can do that." 

Harry raised his head and shifted away for a minute, reaching behind him for the night stand. It took some fumbling through several drawers, apparently he hadn't been using it very often, but he found a bottle on the third one down. Harry looked over it and met Eggsy's eyes before he opened the cap. With a small amount rubbed over his fingers, he shifted close again and took up his stroking of Eggsy's little cock. A smile formed at Harry's mouth, barely there, but there all the same, pleased to see Eggsy enjoying his touch. 

Eggsy relaxed. He didn't trust Harry with his emotions yet, or with his future. He didn't trust him not to lie. He _did_ trust him to take care of him in this way, and Eggsy was confident that he wouldn't find anyone else who could do the same. Particularly no one that he would be comfortable baring himself to.

Eggsy's mouth dropped open slightly as Harry wrapped around him and began to stroke. The touch of another person was far different than touching himself. Harry had remembered what he liked, exactly how much pressure to use and where to place his fingers. Eggsy was mortified to find that he was so deprived that Harry reduced him to panting in short order, one thumb rubbing slowly over his slit at the tip.

Harry was enjoying it nearly as much. Eggsy felt his smiles in the kisses Harry pressed against his neck and his shoulder. Harry refrained from kissing his mouth again, seemingly a little uncertain about that after Eggsy told him off, even though that was unrelated in all but the emotional aspects of the situation. Harry's fingers drew down farther between Eggsy's legs, massaging the spot just behind Eggsy's balls until Eggsy felt it and rocked against him, then bringing his fingers even farther to touch the tender ring of muscle behind it. 

Eggsy shut his eyes and stilled. It wasn't a matter of hesitation; he wanted to feel what he had before, the delicate touch that circled and teased before slowly delving inside. Eggsy licked his lips and wrapped his arms around Harry's chest, pulling himself closer and trying to encourage the man without saying a word.

Harry wasn't to be so easily swayed, however. Eggsy knew that he wanted this just as much, but he wasn't going to press without guidance and permission. His touch stayed light and teasing until Eggsy groaned and pressed his forehead against the older man's chest. " _Harry_. Please."

That did the trick. Harry's circling became a press, focused, testing the tightness of Eggsy's muscle, before it gently pushed inside. It was a sensation Eggsy hadn't felt in a long time, even with just one of Harry's fingers. With the lube, it didn't hurt at all, but Harry was still careful. More careful even than before. He drew out and added more lube and then his finger was back again, massaging inside Eggsy until it brought him pleasure. Harry moved like he had all the time in the world to do this, like he either wanted to draw it out or feared that if he rushed any part of it, he'd hurt Eggsy. 

Minutes ticked onwards. Eggsy concentrated on breathing and relaxing while Harry slowly worked him open. Inside, he ached. He missed how things had been, the trust and loosed desire. It was still there, but cautious, each of them worried that the wrong move would shatter things irretrievably. Eggsy tried to remind himself that it was just sex - not forgiveness, not recommitment, not anything more than indulgence. They could manage that much.

So Eggsy thought. Harry slipped another finger in, scissoring and stretching, and Eggsy moaned and spread his legs a little wider, then flushed when he realized what he'd done.

Harry rewarded him with a kiss just beneath his jaw. He must have felt Eggsy's sudden tenseness because his free hand smoothed down Eggsy's back. "Don't be ashamed," Harry whispered. The whole point was that Eggsy should enjoy this. That Harry would do this for him. Harry was going to get pleasure out of it as well, but if Eggsy wanted to, he could demand that Harry forego his own pleasure. 

Another finger joined Harry's first after that, and Eggsy could start to feel the tightness, but Harry knew how to make him forget about it. 

Eggsy tried his best to put aside how wanton he felt, and how he knew he must look. This might have seemed like a reward for all the betrayals, but Eggsy couldn't think of it like that. It was recompense, or the start of it. Harry was doing what he wanted, and he was in control. He could stop at any point or demand anything, but most of what he wanted was what he remembered - the pleasure that came after the discomfort, and the feeling of connection and love again.

Harry's clever fingers slid deeper and pressed upwards, and Eggsy felt his spine bend. 

Harry's breath puffed over his shoulder. He took the opportunity to curl around Eggsy that much closer. With his hand in between Eggsy's parted thighs, it was easy to open them up a little more, lifting one over Harry's legs while his third finger slid inside. Harry turned his head so that his mouth pressed right up against Eggsy's ear and kept Eggsy arching into him with the motion of his fingers. This would have usually been when Harry said something. It seemed like he wanted to, putting his mouth there to whisper something so soft only Eggsy would ever be able to hear it no matter how many cameras there were in the room. But Harry just let the find hairs at Eggsy's temple brush against his lips until finally he drew his fingers out. 

Eggsy's breath left him all at once. His skin tingled, and Harry's retraction had left him feeling temporarily empty and lacking. Eggsy felt Harry shift and heard the opening of a plastic cap again. The boy shut his eyes and breathed. "...Harry? Tell me... you love me? Just talk to me. I don't just-" The idea of a silent, uncaring fuck suddenly left Eggsy feeling cold. That had been exactly what he'd contemplated before, with other people, and when he first started, but he didn't know if he could take this being nothing but detached business, mere stimulation.

Harry looked up from the bottle and set it down. Whatever he'd been holding back fell away. "I do love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone." Harry reached up with his clean hand to stroke Eggsy's hair back from his forehead. He looked at Eggsy like he was willing Eggsy to believe him, desperate for it. And then Harry leaned in and pressed his mouth to Eggsy's. Harry kissed him like they'd started out doing, like he'd wanted to all along. Tentative still, but wanting just the same. 

Eggsy wrapped arms around Harry's neck and kissed him back. There was desperation in it, but not the same sort. Harry was willing Eggsy to believe him, and Eggsy... was trying to believe. He wanted to believe that everything hadn't been a lie and that he'd truly fallen for a real person, but he couldn't quite manage to bridge that last gap on faith. It was too soon and he'd been too badly hurt.

When they parted, Harry had one arm behind Eggsy and was stroking his hair. It was a motion so familiar in a situation so familiar, and yet in a context entirely different from what Eggsy had known before. Harry spent a long minute just looking at Eggsy. He was letting Eggsy watch him in return, letting him decide if he still wanted to go through with this after having a taste. Eggsy wanted it, Harry wanted it, and yet there was no avoiding the pain of loss and memory between them. 

Eggsy saw the same kind eyes, the same lines of age that softened Harry's face and made him so familiar and welcoming. He counted his heartbeats, trying to slow them down. Fingers stroked through the boy's hair. His lover had tasted just like he'd remembered. "...please, Harry. I want to." Eggsy shifted his hips to reinforce his words.

Harry nodded and kissed his cheek, and then Harry lifted himself up to hover over Eggsy, kissing him softly now and again, until Eggsy heard the snap of the bottle once more. Harry rested his weight on one elbow and reached down to coat his cock with the lube. His gaze lingered there on himself and on Eggsy so close, both erections straining. He looked up one last time to see that Eggsy was sure, and then lowered himself down to press the head of his cock between Eggsy's spread legs. Harry found that ring of muscle and, slowly, ever so slowly, pressed inside. 

Eggsy's eyes closed and his breathing stopped for a moment. It had been so long that he hadn't quite remembered exactly what it felt like. His body was slowly parting and giving way. Harry was so close Eggsy could feel the heat radiating from him, along with the heat sliding into him between his legs. A kiss was pressed against Eggsy's neck and prompted him to start breathing again.

Harry moved up to his cheek and then to his temple, kissing wherever he could while he let Eggsy breathe. Finally Harry was deep enough that he stopped and let Eggsy adjust. Maybe it wasn't totally for Eggsy's benefit alone. For a long moment Harry's breaths matched Eggsy's, laboured like he was having a hard time accepting the reality of the situation. His fingers curled into Eggsy's hair and then Harry moved again, pulling back slowly and carefully pushing forward in the beginnings of a rhythm. 

Eggsy watched him with half-lidded eyes, spread wide for the taking with all the flexibility of youth. He shifted and planted his feet, tilting his hips just so, and the next slow thrust sent a crackle of electricity through him. It was far better than he'd managed in his time alone, exploring and pressing with fingers just a little too short and skinny to be able to manage what he wanted. Imagination had been a poor substitute.

Harry was wrapped all around him like this. One arm wound under Eggsy's lower back to hold him up and keep that angle. The other was caught between Eggsy's shoulders and the mattress, and Harry leaned over him, pressing their bodies together, catching Eggsy's mouth in a kiss that he didn't want to end. Harry's thrusts grew quicker and deeper and then Eggsy found himself pressed into the mattress with Harry's weight atop him and Harry's soft groans against his mouth. One of Harry's hands freed itself and worked in between them, searching for Eggsy's cock. 

That was what Eggsy remembered, being stroked from without and within, pinned against the mattress and yet feeling the safest he'd ever been. Harry had caught him up, and it was _his_ Harry, before he'd known about the lies and deception. Eggsy found himself clinging to the older man and whispering his name against his lips in between kisses. He didn't want to remember anything else. He wanted to stay frozen in time.

He heard his own name whispered back to him. Harry was there and answering his cries. Harry had him wrapped up in his arms and safe from the world. Harry's love was inside him and all around him, pressing in close and protecting him. Galahad was gone. Every time Harry thrust in to bring Eggsy pleasure he bridged the gap a little more. The room around them didn't exist anymore. They were back at Harry's house, in Harry's room, in the bed that was just as much Eggsy's.

"Love you," Harry whispered in between Eggsy's quiet chant. 

Eggsy didn't last long like that. One hand fisted in his lover's hair, the other scratched furrows in Harry's back, and Eggsy climaxed with a soft cry. Harry felt the soft body he was sinking into clench around him, tightening in waves before Eggsy went boneless and sated in his embrace. The boy's expression was just like Harry had remembered, dewy flushed skin and soft parted lips as he caught his breath.

Harry stared, transfixed, but didn't stop. His hands came up to either side of Eggsy's face and he just held him there like that while the last of Eggsy's orgasm washed through his body, drawn out by Harry's ever quickening thrusts, and then Harry was coming, too. He buried himself deep and froze, shuddering just a little with his mouth open and no sound escaping. 

Harry stayed like that. He drew the moment out for as long as he could, like he would stay inside Eggsy all night if Eggsy would let him. Just wrap Eggsy up like this in his arms with the covers around them and hold there. Harry's head dipped and he placed a kiss to Eggsy's neck. 

Eggsy had to come down eventually from that high. He didn't want to, though, and he put it off as long as he could, pushing thoughts away while he stayed tucked close against Harry. He'd have to deal with everything later - the soreness, and the emotional fallout. Right then he wanted to stay in the fantasy, feeling loved so he could hold onto the memories later. "Harry."

Eggsy felt a breath against his hair--Harry recognizing that one word for what it was. Gentle fingers stroked away the beads of sweat at Eggsy's temple and Harry made a small sound of acknowledgement. With care, he shifted onto his side and drew out of Eggsy, but he didn't take his arms away and he didn't move back. He kept Eggsy curled into him, hoping that the boy would stay. 

"Are you alright?" Harry asked. 

Eggsy shook his head wordlessly, eyes closed. Nothing could be alright. He clung to Harry, and Harry didn't pull away, but the boy felt an inexplicable sense of loneliness. "I don't know what to do, Harry. I don't. None of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to live with you, and you were s'pposed to be a tailor, an'- an' when I got older, we could've gone somewhere where nobody'd know I was adopted."

Harry's arms tightened, fearing to let Eggsy go. "I wanted those things for us. Except I was far less scrupulous than all that. I'll never be just a tailor. I'll never be...any other kind of man than what I am. But I wanted you to be happy with me. And I wanted you to stay for as long as you would, for better or worse." Harry sighed into Eggsy's hair and began stroking his back. It was difficult to say whether the motion was to sooth Eggsy or whether it was Harry who wanted the comfort of touch. 

"I want everythin' fixed again. I want to go back and I don't know _how_ ," Eggsy murmured, voice cracking. The first few tears rolled down his cheeks. "I don't know how to fix it and I don't want to go to a dumb ol' boarding school. I don't wanna live with a bunch of strangers again who feel all sorry for me and ask me questions when I can't tell 'em nothin'. I miss you and I miss my mum."

"I know you miss the man you thought I was, but I am here. And I will not leave you unless you ask me to." Harry spoke into Eggsy's hair. He could feel the words almost as well as he could hear Harry say them. "I miss you, too, Eggsy. My life has been filled with very little without you." Harry didn't sound like he'd meant to tell Eggsy that, but he thought about it and went on. "I lived alone before you came to live with me, as you thought I had. You turned my world upside down, just to have you there. To be able to take you places and show you things....I relished that more than I had ever known I would."

"I don't know you, though. I don't know what's you and what's fake. I can't even ask. I can't tell when you're lying." The crux of the issue lay in that - the struggle to rebuild trust. Eggsy had no experience with such things, and no idea how to try, or if he'd like the man Harry revealed himself to be. How could he place trust in the answers of someone who'd repetitively, effortlessly lied? What could he do when previous leaps of faith had been broken?

"I know," Harry said softly. He stroked Eggsy's hair and left it at that. The truth was that Harry couldn't fix this. Harry could try, but either Eggsy would accept the man Harry really was and they might grow to hold onto some of the affection between them that each refused to let go, even if they could never have more than that again. Or Eggsy wouldn't accept him. Eggsy would have to move on if that was the case, with Harry's help and funding sectioned off to the background of his life. "The important thing is that you grow up to live your life for you. If along the way you find that you and I can still get along, that's all the better, but either way, your life is your own. It was never mine to take." 

Eggsy accepted the statement quietly. Perhaps he was too exhausted to do otherwise. He didn't move away from where he was curled against Harry's body, though. "I don't wanna go. But I prob'ly can't stay. Kinda stupid, doin' this in a place full of spies. I just... I miss this. And you. Old you. I don't wanna not see you again."

Harry smiled. "They have no reason to think it strange that you might visit me in my own rooms at night. You are my ward after all. My family." There was a touch of sadness in Harry's face, but he kept the smile. He let his hold loosen around Eggsy just a little, making sure Eggsy knew he'd been heard. "If we get cleaned up, I'll walk you back to your room. It's pretty late now. Not that you'd notice by the hours we keep around here." Harry didn't look like he wanted to move though.

Eggsy considered. He wanted to stay, but he was also afraid of what might happen if he did. Harry had already swayed him a bit, like a hit of an old favourite drug he'd only just weaned off of. He needed time to think and space to breathe, even if the notion of going back to the guest room seemed so cold and empty. "Yeah, okay," Eggsy whispered, but he couldn't get his body to follow through and move out of Harry's embrace.

Harry hummed and they both laid there. 

Seconds passed into a minute before Harry spoke again. "One of us should move. I suppose it'll have to be me if you want to get out of here tonight." Harry smiled down at him, and his smile wasn't so sad. Soft, but he seemed genuinely happy that Eggsy didn't want to get up either. Harry bent and pressed a kiss to the top of Eggsy's head, lingering, but then with a sigh he propped himself up on one elbow and stretched out beside Eggsy. It was a concerted effort to move, but still not quite good enough. 

After another long moment, Eggsy's breath left him in a sigh and he rolled onto his back, then away and off the bed. His legs were shaky as he got to his feet and searched for his clothes. "You're... not goin' anywhere tomorrow, are you? I mean, they're not gonna send you out on assignments for a bit until you're healed up. Right?" Eggsy tried to keep his tone detached and bland, but there was little point. They both knew why he was asking.

Harry shook his head, the fond smile still at his mouth. "Not for a few weeks yet, I imagine. Strenuous activity and the like." Harry's eyes twinkled in the light. He surely wasn't telling his doctors about this encounter any time soon. "We'll see how things go tomorrow with meeting the Wilsons, but I'll be around if you'd like." With that, he pushed himself the rest of the way up and, careful of his side, climbed off the bed. He held his hand out for Eggsy, attention half turned towards the toilet. 

Eggsy only hesitated for half a beat, but it was a reminder that trust was still conditional between them. The boy no longer feared physical pain or deadly force from Harry, and he was secure enough to ask for sex, but not to place his emotions or heart on the line. Still, trusting even that much was a small victory and sign of progress, as was the fact that Eggsy followed Harry into the loo with his clothes tucked in one arm. He stood by while Harry fiddled with the taps to start the shower running.

Harry's hand settled over the thick bandages at his side before he looked to the water. "I'm afraid the shower's all yours tonight. Too much work to re-bandage this." He took out a large flannel and wetted it under the shower head before ushering Eggsy to the open glass door. 

This part was strange. Their intimacy had been one thing, but the routine of clean up, the normality of it, was surreal. So too was Harry not joining Eggsy in the shower like he'd used to. He was close. He could give Eggsy a hand up and help him inside the basin, but Harry wasn't going to come in and wrap his arms around Eggsy as he had so often done before. 

The lack of closeness afterwards, which had always been present before, left Eggsy with a hollow feeling in his stomach. Eggsy stepped in and shut the glass panel behind him. The glass was frosted and textured enough that he couldn't make out anything more of Harry beyond a hazy silhouette framed in light. The boy started to wash and cringed at the soreness that he was no longer used to, but that wasn't the hard part. Watching Harry's outline on the other side of the shower was.

It didn't take long to let the water wash away the mess they'd left behind. Eggsy saw Harry move away, done with his cleaning, and rummage around in one of the cabinets off to the side. He wasn't even paying attention to Eggsy. Or so it seemed. 

When Eggsy bent to shut off the water, push back his hair, and open the door, he only got one foot out before something soft and warm fell around his shoulders. Harry's hands came with it, wrapping Eggsy up in a towel and setting himself down on the bench across from the stall. Harry was smiling like he'd been waiting just for that moment when he could dry Eggsy off. 

Eggsy hurt all over again. It was so like the Harry he'd known. He'd never stopped missing that man, even when he'd burned with anger and hatred over what Harry had done and how he'd been manipulated. A lump formed in Eggsy's throat while Harry dried him with attentive care - a bit slower than normal due to his injuries, but just like their old routine.

It occurred to Eggsy that this might be his last chance. If he did decide upon the Wilsons, he might be moving right away. Kindly as the people might be, they wouldn't understand why if he wanted to spend the night at his social worker's house at some point. Eggsy also didn't know if he could stomach trying to sleep in a house that held so many memories.

Harry could see his anguish--it was written all over his face--but Harry didn't stop and he didn't ask what was wrong. Judging by the way his smile softened, Harry already knew. 

The business of drying off lasted longer than it needed to. Harry found every spot on Eggsy's body and then checked again. When he couldn't hold off any longer, he wrapped the towel around Eggsy's shoulders and let his hands run over it. "My dear boy." The words came from Harry's lips like a sigh. Like he'd been holding them back for a long time. 

Eggsy stepped forward and pressed his forehead against Harry's bare chest. The bruises were just as colourful up close. Eggsy fought with himself, torn in opposite directions by what he wanted and what he knew he _should_ want. All of this might very well be a trick. One more attempt to manipulate him. Eggsy knew this. He'd even seen a bit of it, people going back again and again to those who hurt them.

It didn't matter. Eggsy couldn't stop thinking that it might be his last chance for one more night, and he'd dreamed about waking up to find that everything that had transpired had just been a bad dream. Temptation was a siren song he couldn't resist. "...I don't wanna go."

Harry's eyes widened by a fraction. His hands wrapped gently around Eggsy's wrists as Harry searched his face. "Would you like to stay here tonight?" Harry asked, making each word quiet but clear. "That wouldn't be out of the question. No one would say anything even if they noticed; you're young enough yet...." Harry's eyes dropped for a split second and he looked perhaps ashamed to be suggesting another lie, even if it was what Eggsy wanted. "The point is, if you want to, you are welcome."

Eggsy's heart was fluttering like a bird trying to escape its cage. He nodded quickly before he lost his nerve. _Shy_ wouldn't have been a word any of his associates on the street would have pinned to him, but Harry brought out all of his uncertainties and a still-raw vulnerability. "Just... just tonight. I don't wanna go back and be alone. Not right now." Not in the unfamiliar room and the quiet that was so eerie after growing up next to the train tracks and living with drug dealers.

"Okay. We can do that." Harry's arms wrapped around Eggsy's back and pulled him closer still until Eggsy was enveloped in his warmth, the softness of the towel, and the utter realness of Harry's skin. Eggsy would have to believe Harry that this was ok, and normal, to spend the night in Harry's room. He didn't have a lot of experience in what was normal and what wasn't these days. He knew just enough. It was impossible to say, however, what meaning a building full of spies might assign to it, but Harry did seem to think it would be ok. 

"Come," Harry said and wrapped an arm around Eggsy, leading him back to the bed. Harry looked like he wanted to lift Eggsy up in his arms, but he refrained for the sake of his injuries.

Eggsy looked worried the whole way there, all furrowed brow and sharp eyes that kept glancing at Harry's face and the door. Eggsy didn't have illusions that Harry was safe or what he seemed to be. "You're sure? Nobody's gonna-... I can go if they're gonna think-" Eggsy could leave, but he didn't want to. Or at least he didn't want to leave the small amount of comfort and reassurance he was getting, along with the fantasy that he could get his old lover back. 

Harry sat down at the edge of the bed. "I nearly died the other day. No one will think anything of it if you sleep in my room. Merlin has been charged with keeping tabs on you when I'm not available. Barely anyone else will even realise you're not in your guest quarters." He sat there, naked but for the towel over his lap and watched Eggsy decide. There was something calm about Harry now. He wanted Eggsy to stay, he seemed even relieved that Eggsy had communicated the same desire, but he was willing to let Eggsy come to him. 

Mention of Harry's friend brought another tension into Eggsy's shoulders, but after one last glance at the doorway, he left it. Step by step, he drew closer to the bed. "This don't mean I forgive you, y'know. For everything. Just 'cause I wanna stay tonight doesn't mean I'm not mad at you." The boy was, but it was also difficult to reconcile his feelings. Harry was two people at once, the treasured lover and the hated adversary. Eggsy couldn't split the two apart.

"I know." Harry's voice held no inflection, but he held out his hand when Eggsy came close enough and drew him in with a touch. Harry's hands came up to stroke his hair, cradling his face on either side before he gave Eggsy a small smile and then drew back the covers. Harry shifted back on the bed and let Eggsy climb in after him. His hand tentatively caressed Eggsy's side as though Harry were unsure whether Eggsy wanted to be held or not. It was kind of funny at this point that he had such hesitation. It was fairly clear Eggsy wanted to be close, to have some of the intimacy they'd once shared. The barrier he'd set in place was a mental one, but Harry was wary of crossing it all the same. 

Eggsy had the same issue, shying away from completely embracing how they'd slept in the past. He was close enough to feel Harry's presence, body weight, and heat, but not pressed against him. The bit of space between them was another reminder of the chasm that laid between their minds. Even the small hand settling on Harry's waist as a counterpoint didn't overrule the fact that things weren't healed. "'m not a kid anymore," he protested sleepily.

The corners of Harry's mouth tugged upwards. "No?" His fingers teased lightly over Eggsy's skin before Harry reached for the covers and pulled them up around Eggsy's shoulders for warmth. Harry's hand slipped back to where it had been before though. It felt like he wanted to pull Eggsy in, but the touch was nice too. The fact that Eggsy was touching Harry as well seemed to make a difference. Harry didn't dismiss his question though. He looked fond, but intently curious. 

"Lived on my own, and stuff. Can take care of m'self." Whatever Eggsy's protests of self-sufficiency, he didn't look so capable. Certainly he wasn't affirming his independence by returning to his room alone. "'m not afraid. Of you anymore, or anyone. 'm not. I don't do nothin' I don't want to."

Harry's smile widened a little more. "Hm. You have me there I suppose. You're very independent now. More so than many young adults." There was indulgence in Harry's voice, but it was because Harry had cast his eyes over Eggsy's still very small body, not because those details hadn't been true. Eggsy had more experience of the adult world now than the vast majority of kids his age. He had another kind of experience now, too, that they lacked--emotional experience. Arguably more and in a shorter span of time than a person should ever go through, but he'd kept his head up and he'd survived. 

"Just don't think you can trick me anymore. You're not allowed to. If you want..." Eggsy trailed off, lulled a bit by fatigue and the emotional drain of the day. "...anythin', you can't lie anymore. I don't want more lies. I wanna... know who you are. Not who you think I'd like."

Harry's smile sobered. "Ok. From now on you're...a partner in crime, as it were. One who can opt out whenever he so chooses." A soft sigh escaped Harry. He didn't look as tired as Eggsy felt, but his presence was calm and quiet even if he couldn't exactly be called soothing to Eggsy's mind just then. He looked like he wanted to stay up and watch Eggsy fall asleep just for the experience of it. 

He got his wish. Whatever Eggsy's misgivings about Harry's trustworthiness, he was too exhausted from stress and sex and the warmth of the shower and, now, the bed. After a number of minutes his breathing began to slow, turning into a steady rise and fall. The boy retained a fragile innocence in sleep that wasn't always present during his grouchier moods while awake. Harry watched, and while he did, Eggsy shifted a little closer while unconscious.

Harry closed the short distance between them. He couldn't let that space remain. "Eggsy." Harry mouthed the word more than he whispered it. He'd never thought he'd have this beautiful boy in his arms again. Ever. The feel of him, the visage of his slumbering face...Eggsy was a dream. And yet he was there and no matter how much Harry blinked, he didn't vanish like he had every night before. 

Gently, careful not to wake him, Harry wrapped his arms around the boy and kissed his temple. "I love you." Harry hoped that some part of Eggsy would hear him. And believe it.

Eggsy didn't answer. He was lost to dreams. That didn't matter though. He was solid, and _there_ , and he didn't shift away from Harry's body or his affection. He'd chosen to stay that night. He'd also chosen to seek Harry out, and ask for sex, after everything that had transpired. The boy trusted Harry enough to fall asleep in his arms and in his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (4/30) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about)


	41. Chapter 41

Harry awoke the next morning with something soft against his nose. It was a strange yet comfortable sensation that pulled at some memory in the back of his mind, but he couldn't remember what. The softness pressed against his lips when he turned his head, barely moving at all because whatever it was, dream or reality, it put him completely at ease. He felt content wrapped up in blankets and warmth, his arms curled around something small and equally as warm. That detail pinged another distant memory, but Harry still couldn't put his finger on it except for the fact that it felt like perfection. His arms were meant to hold this small, warm body. This person. 

Blearily, with the strangeness of the realisation that there was another person with him, Harry opened one eyelid and saw strands of golden brown hair where his nose had been buried, and underneath were the delicate brows and lashes, little nose and slightly parted lips of one Eggsy Unwin. The boy he thought he'd never wake up with in his arms again. 

Eggsy was still quite unconscious, although he was beginning to stir due to the slight movement Harry had jostled him with. He must have felt secure, as he hadn't woken during the night at all. He was even closer than he'd been when he'd fallen asleep, now pressed against Harry rather than a few centimetres away. The boy hadn't had any pyjamas with him or bothered to redress at all after the activities of the previous night, which meant that a creamy length of skin continued uninterrupted well past the edge of the sheets. Harry could feel Eggsy pressed against him.

In his mind, Harry let his hand slide down Eggsy's back and over the round curve of his arse. He imagined kneading there, pulling the boy's thigh up just a little to shift his hips and let Harry's hand slip around to his front to find his little cock. Harry would tease it, or sometimes he would even pull the covers up and over his head until he could slide down and use his tongue instead, until Eggsy woke with the pleasant yearning feelings Harry created in him. 

But that had been before, when Harry was welcome to do such things without Eggsy's explicit permission. And this, just this much, was more than he'd dared hope to have again. 

Harry at least got to treasure the moment, and the way Eggsy burrowed against him under the covers, unconsciously drawing closer to warmth and a sense of safety. When the boy's eyes finally opened, it took a few seconds before they lit up with recognition and understanding of where he was, and who he was with. "...hey. Mornin', I guess." Both of them were stiff, and pressed against one another's legs. There wasn't any way to address the situation without embarrassment short of breaking contact and pretending nothing had happened.

"Good morning." Harry's mouth lifted with a small smile. He let Eggsy shift enough to look around, but didn't remove his arms or try to turn away. Harry wasn't going to push for anything more, but there was no need to pretend either. He didn't fear he was going to traumatize Eggsy with unwanted intimacy after last night. "Did you sleep well?" Harry asked, not wanting to break their cocoon of exquisite comfort. 

"Yeah." Eggsy sounded, and looked, surprised. He looked around, but the room appeared much the same as the previous night. Kept below ground for security reasons, there wasn't any sense of the sun to give a perspective of time. What lighting there was could be timed to simulate such things, but it had been turned off due to Harry's injuries and what was presumed to be an erratic schedule while he healed. "I... yeah. Thanks. For last night. Lettin' me stay and all."

"Thank you for staying," Harry countered, voice soft and velvety from just waking. Quiet words shared between them like he remembered even if the context was off. As much as he appreciated the closeness between them, Harry had to search for the right words. He hadn't expected this and he didn't want to make it sound as though he had. "I slept very well, too." Even his side wasn't hurting as they laid entwined like this, Harry realised. It probably would when he shifted, along with the multitude of other bruises that adorned his body, so he didn't move. His smile curved again. "I think you've healed me."

Eggsy huffed in dismissal. "Right. Sure. One fuck for every bruise and broken bone, right?" Eggsy shifted and dropped onto his back, one arm propped above his head as he stared up at the ceiling. It was the same blank whiteness that he'd seen in a number of other rooms there at headquarters. "Think you've busted me up in return. I ain't done that since... well. Not used to it anymore. Hope I don't gotta do a lot of sittin' today."

Harry snorted. "Poor disillusioned young man." He had been right, as soon as Harry moved, shifting more onto his front to curl his arms under the pillow rather than Eggsy, his body protested. "We can compare aches and pains over breakfast since I'm afraid you've broken the spell." But Harry couldn't get rid of his smile. Eggsy was putting on a tough act, but he was still in Harry's bed. He'd woken up in Harry's arms, and he had not only let it happen, but wanted it to happen. Harry wanted to reach out to him again. The short distance seemed abhorrent. Eggsy was going to go off again with some new family after they left this bed, and Harry didn't want to let it happen. 

The boy turned his head and arched one brow. "Right. I've bespelled you. That explains why I've been so mad at you but ended up here anyways, 'cause _I'm_ the wizard of the two of us. Although, I guess, I said I wanted to be, didn't I." Eggsy sighed again. The bed in the guest room hadn't exactly been shabby, but the agency apparently splurged on beds for their agents. Harry's bed was the sort you never wanted to leave. "I dunno that I want breakfast. I could just lay 'ere another half day."

"I'd be quite alright with that." Harry admired Eggsy with the one eye that wasn't buried in his pillow and pretended to think more a minute. "If you believe I've bespelled you, and I believe you've bespelled me, would that not make us both wizards? Unwittingly casting spells upon each other?" Harry let his smile widen. He'd missed this kind of ridiculous logic play and he knew Eggsy was about to roll his eyes at him for enjoying it so much. Eggsy was all grown up now, after all.

As predicted, Eggsy rolled his eyes, but his mouth still turned up at the corners. "Just don't think I'm so easy to bespell anymore. An' I don't want you too. I want to know who you actually are, remember. I was thinkin' about it, actually." 

Eggsy shifted, turning in bed to face Harry more directly. He wanted to watch the older man and see if his reactions gave anything away. "I can't do that if I never see you. But I don't think I can... I can't handle too much right now. I want to be able to see you when I'm tryin' this new place, but not with them around, and only when I want to. You gotta be honest with me, no tryin' to pretend to be what you think I want. If I think you're lyin' to me again, I'll stop seein' you."

The playfulness fell away from Harry's features, soft as they still were upon waking. Eggsy's words were a douse of cold water. One he'd been expecting, if he were honest, but he couldn't help but feel it all the same. "You've made that last bit clear. I haven't forgotten. I'm still a little surprised you want to see me at all, even after you've explained why." Harry pursed his lips and glanced away, only to catch himself and draw his eyes back to Eggsy's again. He couldn't be seen running away. He had to find strength in this regard, for Eggsy's sake even more than his own. 

"I had a lot of time to think about things, when I was runnin' drugs and didn't have to worry 'bout you grabbin' me anymore. What I'd want to say, what I'd want to do. What you might've been thinkin'. What was real and what was fake. I just... didn't expect I'd ever be seein' you again, but now I've got a chance to actually do some of that stuff." Eggsy looked calm, but his breathing gave away just how tense he felt having this discussion. "I don't know if it'll work out like it did in my head, in any of the ways I thought about, but. Well, you owe me, and I wanna know. An' I missed sex but it ain't like I can just go get some."

"You can call me whenever you want to see me. I'll find an excuse for the Wilsons." Harry reached out and touched his fingertips to Eggsy's arm, letting them trail over the skin. Eggsy was as soft as he remembered. His time away may have hardened his thoughts, but his skin was just how Harry remembered. He wanted to tell Eggsy about all the endings he'd imagined for them as well, the good and the bad, but he had a feeling that most of it would only hurt the boy. Eggsy needed to see whether any of his imaginings would come to pass first. And Harry still didn't know if any of this could be resolved for the better. But. He could do his best to see it so. "I'll come whenever you ask."

"Good." Eggsy's smile turned crooked. Harry had never quite seen such a look on Eggsy before he ran away. Eggsy had looked at him with want before, but not with that particular brand of open lascivity. "Speakin' of, what if I asked now? Or are you too beat up from last night? 'cause if I'm not gonna get another chance for a while..." Eggsy shrugged, trying to be nonchalant, but he was inwardly thrilled. He had missed sex, but Harry had missed that and more. Eggsy was confident that Harry would jump at anything he offered, which meant he finally had a way to feel in control beyond reminding Harry of his debt.

In spite of himself, Harry's mouth spread into a smile. "How could I ever deny you?" The words felt like a needle prick and yet they were true. Harry wanted him, had wanted him from the moment they'd woken, and that overrode what little pain he felt at Eggsy so obviously using Harry's desperation to his advantage. It was also true that this might all fade as soon as Eggsy walked out his door, went home with the Wilsons, and decided he didn't want Harry any longer. Harry wasn't going to risk losing this opportunity. He let his fingers curl around Eggsy's arm and drew the boy in as he shifted closer. "I think I can live with the soreness," Harry murmured as he kissed the corner of Eggsy's mouth. "What would you like?"

"Your mouth. An' if you do a good job, I'll think about askin' you to come, an' how you get to," Eggsy answered. The boy was clearly pleased with himself. He'd found a way to have power over Harry beyond threatening not to see him again, or legal threats they both knew Eggsy wasn't going to try. Harry wanted him and his body, and Eggsy was more than fine with using that to his advantage and pleasure. "Would you, ever? Deny me?"

Harry paused his kisses to look at Eggsy. He thought about that. He wanted to say that if he had to, he would. But.... "I don't know. Not for certain. I want to believe that I could deny you if it was in your better interests. Or my own. But I can't say for sure." Harry felt his smile pull down with a bitter thought. "I couldn't even deny you when you forbade me from taking you off the street, no matter how much I knew I should have." He smoothed his hand down Eggsy's back to take the sting out of his words. They weren't meant to hurt Eggsy. It had been Harry's own failing. 

"You did what I wanted. 'Sides, it wouldn't have mattered. I was scared of you, and hated feelin' like you controlled me, and I would have felt controlled no matter where you put me. I would've run away at the first chance and just gone back to what I'd been doin'." Eggsy's expression turned thoughtful and considering. If what Harry implied was true, he was confessing that he'd do anything Eggsy asked of him. Lies were difficult to detect with the man, but this was easy to test. He'd either comply, or he wouldn't.

Harry gave a soft hum. Eggsy sounded dismissive, but he was also focused on his own pleasure and somewhat distracted. Harry let his eyes wander down the boy's torso, thinking about the way Eggsy had asked for what he wanted before Harry bent to kiss his collar bone. Harry shifted closer and down the bed, getting ready to trail down Eggsy's body after he lingered for a bit. 

"Do you miss waking up like that?" Harry asked softly. "With me between your legs? My mouth on your cock?" There had been a time when Eggsy had gotten so used to it that Harry could get him off and he still wouldn't be fully awake even though he'd let his body respond with soft moans and the straining of his hips. 

"Yeah. I..." Eggsy laughed quietly and suddenly averted his gaze. "I was still pissed at you, obviously, and scared that you might find me or come get me, but I missed things. Enough that it started drivin' me crazy, 'cause I was used to things and I wasn't gonna be gettin' any. I'd wait until everyone was asleep and I was alone, and then I'd pretend I was gettin' sucked off again."

Harry could imagine it. Eggsy cooped up in that tiny little flat on the East End, thinking of him night after night as the teens who'd taken him in laid passed out in their own filth and rubbish. Harry didn't realise he'd let out any sound until he heard his own quiet moan. He cut it off by placing his mouth against Eggsy's sternum, kissing and nipping little bits down his chest. Harry marvelled at Eggsy's smallness when he shifted over the boy and wrapped his hands around Eggsy's sides. 

"I like the thought of that," Harry admitted as he nudged Eggsy's knees apart. 

"What, that you were still there with me in my head, even when I'd escaped?" Eggsy let out a huff of breath. "'Course you would. You went to all that trouble to hook me in the first place. I thought about more, y'know. If I could ask one of the other boys there, but if I guessed wrong, I might've gotten beaten up and kicked out. Or worse. And I learned quick that it was a stupid idea to try to find someone on the street, 'cause people who are interested usually kidnap you. Sometimes I wondered if some of the people I ran stuff to were just... feedin' things to people they had locked up in a back room."

Harry looked up. "If you had disappeared out there.... You don't want to know what I'd have done to whoever took you." Harry broke their gaze and laid his head over Eggsy's stomach. "If that had happened, I would have broken my word to get you out." He wasn't sure if Eggsy would like to hear that or not. As comforting as it might have sounded in any other situation, Eggsy had been terrified of being under Harry's control and surely feeling like he might be in Harry's debt as well. Funny how things had turned out the very opposite in the end. 

Harry turned his head again and began to place chaste kisses down the boy's stomach. 

Eggsy squirmed. The tender skin was just as ticklish as Harry remembered. Eggsy's attention was beginning to wander as Harry drifted lower down his body. "Well... that's good, at least. I mean, I would've been scared of you for sure, but better that then ending up a drugged rentboy in some closet. Hell, I was afraid of some of the people I was deliverin' to, but they knew better than to try anything with me, or their shipments would get cut off."

Harry stopped. He couldn't help it. His arms wound under Eggsy's back until they wrapped all the way around him and Harry buried his head against the boy's soft belly, hugging him tight. He had always had faith in Eggsy. Eggsy had always been good about navigating the world, even before he'd met Harry. Harry even suspected he had the potential for much more. But the thought of him being afraid at the doorsteps of strangers, day after day.... The thought of losing him to someone like that, who would never appreciate what he had.... It made Harry not want to let go. But Eggsy was shifting and looking down at him now, and he had to or he was going to ruin Eggsy's mood. "I'm glad you could take care of yourself," Harry said quietly. 

"'Course I could." Eggsy hadn't been certain he was going to make it at the time, but the experience had given him more confidence. Whatever happened, Eggsy felt like he could figure out how to make it in the end. One way or another. "I even ended up takin' care of you, didn't I? Liftin' the keys and helpin' you escape."

"That you did." Harry smiled. "I suppose I ought to thank you." He flashed his eyes up at Eggsy before he went back to kissing in earnest, this time down the boy's hip and following that little dip of skin that led downward, straight to his little cock. 

Harry mouthed there for a second or two, getting Eggsy worked up before he dipped his chin and ran the tip of his tongue along around the small base. Quickly, it was hardening back to where it had been when Harry had woken Eggsy that morning, and Harry swiped his tongue over the tip in reward. He kept his attentions as simple as that for a while, teasing Eggsy along, making sure he would get the most out of it. 

Eggsy was no longer shy about letting Harry know what he liked. The boy's hips tilted up against Harry's hands, begging for more attention, and after a moment Harry felt small fingers burying themselves in his hair. Not only that, but drawing him down closer. " _God_. C'mon, Harry. Or are you waiting for me to ask again? Didn't you say you weren't gonna deny me nothin'?"

Harry's smile widened and he let a puff of warm breath flow over Eggsy's little erection. "You know how much I like making you wait for it." He bent his head down again and pressed his lips to Eggsy's cock, humming quietly. "You can savour it this way." He spoke the words right into Eggsy's flesh, making the boy squirm underneath him. Harry missed this. Goodness how he missed this. To show his appreciation, he opened his mouth and let his tongue lick up the underside before finally engulfing the little cock. 

Eggsy let out a quiet keen. He wasn't content to stay still this time. The boy wanted more, and he wanted control. He fought against Harry trying to pin his hips down, doing his best to attempt to thrust up into Harry's mouth or, alternatively, take control of Harry's head and pull him down. "... _fuck_. I forgot how good this was," Eggsy whispered.

It surprised Harry at first, but it certainly wasn't hurting him. Eggsy was stronger now and he probably could have pulled Harry's hair badly, but his cock still wasn't nearly big enough to make Harry choke. Harry clutched Eggsy's thigh and hip just so the boy's writhing wouldn't knock into his chin, but he let Eggsy move him where he wanted. It wasn't something Harry was particularly keen on at first, with the whole way Eggsy went about it by pulling on his head--he made a note to remind the boy of manners when they were through with this--but he was a little curious to see what Eggsy wanted him to do.

After a few moments of awkward experimentation, Eggsy paused. "Just... there. Stay there, like that." When Harry obeyed, Eggsy tried again for a few moments more before giving up with a laugh and an embarrassed blush. "I... guess I should've known better than to think videos were actually, um, good for ideas," he explained. "I watched one where... uh, it was like..."

Eggsy took a deep breath and started over. "I'm not big enough for some things, but it looked like... something close, where size didn't matter as much."

Harry gave Eggsy's cock a lick before he pulled up just enough to speak. "Are you trying to fuck my mouth, rather than the other way around?" Harry couldn't keep the curl out of the corner of his lip, but at least Eggsy wouldn't think Harry was offended. His boy had been watching porn, and that was new. The regular sort, Harry was sure, and he didn't quite know how to feel about that. Harry lowered his head, but kept watching Eggsy, choosing to ignore that little revelation for now. "You want to be in control, don't you? More literally than just calling the shots." 

"Y-yeah, I just... you always had control when we did things. Not that I didn't _like_ things," Eggsy quickly added. "I guess I just... wanted to try feelin' a bit different. Like you were... under me, or I was the one that caught you and had you-"

Eggsy cut off sharply as he realized where his mind had wandered. The memory of Harry restrained in the warehouse had drifted to the surface of his mind, but altered. Instead of the heart-wrenching injuries Eggsy remembered, Harry was hale and whole, restrained and _very_ eager. "...uh."

Harry raised a brow. Something had caught Eggsy's attention. Something that made the boy freeze and blush. Furiously. And look terribly frightened at the same time. Harry recalled the games they'd once played, pirates and the like, in which Eggsy sometimes wound up playing the rescuer or the hero, or Harry's more suitably matched opponent who could fight back and, yes, chase him down just like Eggsy seemed to be suggesting, but that was a long time ago. And those games may have made Eggsy blush to admit his ideas sometimes, but not like this. 

"Something's on your mind," Harry offered, curious to pry the notion out of Eggsy. 

"It's..." Eggsy turned redder still. Harry had never mocked him in the past when they'd been together, but his innocent explorations and ideas were a far cry from admitting that he'd just realized he'd found something about the memory of Harry in the warehouse room _erotic_. Eggsy was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to find it thrilling to think about Harry at his mercy like that. Or to admit about how the memories of Harry's mission footage had coloured his occasional fantasies once he'd been certain Harry was going to leave him alone. "It's nothin'."

Harry's brow raised higher. "You're not going to tell me?" For a moment, he floundered. He'd had to work details of Eggsy's fantasies out of the boy before, but then he wondered whether this had changed in the time Eggsy had been away, whether Eggsy no longer felt confident in sharing his sexual thoughts with Harry. Even though they had come to the recent understanding that that area was still available to them. Harry wondered if Eggsy would demand to limit it in this way. "It has something to do with me." Harry's eyes narrowed. He knew that much because Eggsy had been talking about him when the boy's eyes had widened.

"Yeah, it's... you won't like it, okay? And it doesn't really matter." Nevermind that Eggsy couldn't pry the picture of turning the tables on Harry out of his head, now that it felt off-limits and shameful. Part of the memory of Harry in the storeroom was so haunting because the man had seemed every bit the invincible predator, always in control and only ever giving reprieve when he felt generous. It was the same fascination that accompanied watching one of the giant cats trained and domesticated by a mere human. A bit of that sense was still present; Harry was still covered with the evidence of his captivity and abuse.

"Ok...." Harry stroked Eggsy's side and wondered what the boy could possibly have on his mind. Harry ran through a list of everything he could think of that he might not like, but he couldn't imagine what Eggsy might be thinking. Was the boy imagining himself older? That lingered on Harry's mind the longest. It was the only thing that seemed like a possibility. But he kept his face open and hoped he would be able to respond to Eggsy's answer articulately enough, no matter what it was. 

Harry was waiting for a response. Eggsy felt his skin prickle in the way it always did when he felt exposed. He knew Harry was dangerous, had even watched him kill while terribly wounded during their escape. Eggsy wouldn't be able to defend against him if such a need ever came to pass, and yet Harry was behaving like the old version of himself Eggsy had known - patient, warm, open, waiting for Eggsy to trust him. "...just thinkin' of the warehouse," Eggsy finally mumbled. "Findin' you, I could've done anything. Instead've you doin' anything you wanted to me."

Harry's face didn't change, but he blinked. It took him a second to parse what Eggsy meant, exactly, because they'd both gone through hell back at that warehouse and Harry didn't remember anything of note in regards to the current conversation. But then he scrutinised Eggsy's shamefaced posture and the way he wouldn't meet Harry's eyes, and something clicked. 

"The fact that I was at your mercy, you mean? That I was physically bound and incapable of taking control away from you?" Harry was careful to keep his tone free of judgement when he asked, but he watched Eggsy closely, wanting to be sure he understood. 

Eggsy's small flinch confirmed the guess. All in all, Eggsy's toying with the idea wasn't surprising. So much of his life had consisted of being in situations he couldn't really control. "It was different. From everything else. I only got away before 'cause you let me go, and it was like... you couldn't be beaten. I couldn't ever win. I wasn't safe if you ever changed your mind. I didn't think anyone could do that to you."

"Now you go and flatter me." Harry softened his eyes and let himself smile softly. His tone was teasing. He felt a deep well of affection for the boy and reached up to stroke Eggsy's hair. "I'm not offended, Eggsy. I understand why you'd be wary to share this...shall we say recent discovery with me, but believe me when I say that I've been through enough to see the nuances of your fantasy here versus the reality of what I went through. It isn't difficult to separate the two." Harry smiled and searched for Eggsy's eyes, finding that he could in fact soothe the boy's fears. "You needn't be ashamed." 

"I didn't actually want you hurt like that, y'know." Eggsy couldn't quite shake his sense of shame, even after he met Harry's gaze. "I was really mad, and afraid of you. I'm still both, kinda. But I didn't want that to happen to you, and I couldn't _let_ that happen to you neither. Like... okay, sometimes I wanna rough you up a bit for everything you've done, but not like this." Eggsy touched fingertips to a patch of gauze and a few bruises, but his eyes took in all of Harry.

"I know that you're... someone else, but I can't not think of you that way too. Who you were pretendin' to be."

Harry held still for Eggsy, letting the boy look at him. "There's that nuance I mentioned. I believe you." Harry looked over the expanse of Eggsy's skin and slid his hands down the boy's body, reminding Eggsy that he was grounded here. That they were not back in that warehouse, and they were not in the same place they'd been after Eggsy had run away either. They were somewhere else now, a very uncertain place perhaps, but at least some of Eggsy's greater fears had been laid to rest. And Harry was not about to mistake Eggsy's desire for control as anything more sinister. Certainly not when compared to the company he normally kept. 

Harry thought for a moment before he had an idea. "Would you like to be in control of this?" He lifted himself up and laid down on his back next to Eggsy, then encouraged the boy to rise up.   
Eggsy shot Harry a confused look for a second. "Yeah, but..." Eggsy rose up until he settled on his knees, watching Harry and trying to puzzle out what he meant. "How? Bein' on top? Isn't that the same as pullin' you down? I mean, it's all whether it's me doin' stuff to you, or you doin' stuff to me."

"You can move with more leverage this way. It makes quite a difference." Harry didn't try to hide the way his soft smile turned into a smirk as he encouraged Eggsy to lift one leg over his chest. "I know you still care for me; you don't have to worry I think you really want to hurt me, irreversibly." 

A day ago, Harry wouldn't have said that. Not to Eggsy, anyhow. He might have strongly suspected it in his own mind, but he would have been sure his presumption would have only set the boy off in a state of anger. Within this room, however, and these hours they'd shared together since the night prior, Harry was confident that it was true. 

Eggsy moved carefully. Settling his weight onto the wrong place meant pulling on or aggravating some of Harry's injuries. Eventually he managed, scooting up closer when prompted. "This feels silly," he complained. "Not that the rest isn't, but. I guess I feel really short this way."

"Really?" Harry asked, teeth showing that time. To Eggsy's credit, he caused Harry no further injury for the comment. "Lift up," Harry went on, trailing his hands down to Eggsy's arse and pulling him up again while Harry scooted down a little. He saw the moment Eggsy got it, when Harry encouraged him up enough that his hips were hovering over Harry's head. "I think you'll enjoy this, on the contrary," Harry dropped his voice before he encouraged Eggsy's hips lower and lifted himself up to take the boy's cock into his mouth again. 

Harry couldn't see the boy's face from that vantage point, but he certainly heard Eggsy gasp. Harry barely had to touch the boy to prompt him before Eggsy caught on. Eggsy gripped the backboard for support and thrust his hips downwards, and each time he found Harry ready and waiting. 

This had been what he'd been trying to achieve rather ineptly: the sense of taking Harry and having control, rather than being taken.

Eggsy could use his weight now, and he did. Fortunately Harry was strong enough that, should he need to force Eggsy back if he got too enthusiastic, he could, but he found at the boy's first experimental thrusts that it wasn't difficult to take him like this. Harry could breathe even with his nose pressed into Eggsy's lower belly, and though his movements forced Harry down against the mattress, it still wasn't rough enough to hurt. 

Harry swirled his tongue to tease Eggsy's interest and let him know that he was welcome to move how he liked before Harry began to suck in earnest. 

Eggsy shut his eyes and cried out softly. He hadn't thought the small changes would make such a difference, but they did. Harry wasn't holding onto him or pinning him down. The size difference between them wasn't a limitation for Eggsy for this, and Eggsy felt... better. Not exactly powerful, but more so when he'd been underneath Harry. He could set the pace and tone, and Harry accepted and enjoyed it even though he wasn't controlling things.

Eggsy could imagine that they were doing something more, that he was doing more to _his_ Harry, and remember the looks of pleasure Harry had worn. He could imagine coaxing those expressions out of him in a different way.

Harry raised his hands to Eggsy's arse and kneaded the flesh there, encouraging the boy rather than holding him off. He groaned into the soft skin, feeling Eggsy strain against him. Harry couldn't help but pull him into it just a little more, but he was careful to restrain himself and let Eggsy make his own pace. He could feel the way the bed dipped above him when Eggsy lost his grip on the headboard for a moment and placed his hand against the mattress instead. It felt like, for the first time, he was wrapped up in Eggsy. Eggsy with his body still so small, and yet he was curled all around Harry. Harry closed his eyes and let himself feel it. 

Eventually, one of Eggsy's hands drifted to Harry's head - gentler this time, holding instead of demandingly pulling. "Harry, I..." Eggsy was all low, soft sounds, gasps and mumbled whispers that Harry only half-caught, but that warmed his heart with what little he did. Eggsy's pace sped up as the seconds passed. "Harry, _Harry_ , I- ...please, just..."

At that, Harry did pull Eggsy down. He couldn't help it. Hearing Eggsy's voice like that, aloud and so like his memory, like his dreams of the boy ever since he'd lost him. The feel of small hands in his hair, the softness and light tang of sweat and that so familiar smell of Eggsy.... Harry couldn't resist not holding on. He drew the boy into him, letting him keep thrusting even as those thrusts turned quick and jerky, but not letting him pull away. 

Eggsy shuddered and climaxed, and it was difficult to say if he was the one curled around Harry, or Harry around him. For a few seconds, Eggsy lost track of where they were or how much time had passed. The hands holding him close were familiar, as was the hair between his fingers and the groans that reached his ears. Eggsy was back home, in Harry's bed, before anything had gone wrong between them.

Those hands lifted him up and pulled him down into waiting arms. Harry nuzzled against his cheek and swept his fingers through Eggsy's hair in return. Gentle, stroking motions that did little to draw the boy out of his daze. Harry's arms were familiar and so were the kisses he placed over Eggsy's cheek, happy to have him there for Harry to hold. 

Harry was still hard and he didn't care. He had Eggsy in his arms, blissed out and content, really content for once. 

Eggsy didn't want to let go and wake up. He knew he had to, but he preferred the dream to reality. Harry in his dreams was infinitely less complicated. Reality was messy and full of the pain of memories of what had transpired, and the rifts that defied healing. "Harry? D'you really... y'know, love me?"

"I do," Harry whispered. "Really." 

The conflict of hope and doubt reached Harry's ears, the conflict that weighed on Eggsy for so long now. It was so easy for Harry to respond readily with his truth for he knew he loved Eggsy, but harder for Eggsy to hear it. That remained to be seen now, Harry realised. Could Eggsy ever believe him? And more than that, could Eggsy ever know him and love him still?

Harry wrapped his arms tighter around the boy. "No matter what happens, I'll love you."

Eggsy accepted Harry's words with the quiet disbelief of the neglected child. He'd already seen the failure of supposedly-unconditional love before. He wanted it to be true, but couldn't bring himself to hold that hope as truth. "I wanna know you. Who you really are. An' I don't know how to do that. It's like... startin' over, almost."

"I suppose it will be," Harry admitted. "You know me so well in all the ways you're not counting. Think about those to start with--the way you anticipate my mannerisms, the way you have a list in your mind of what I'll say in conversation before I say anything, the way I take my tea, the films I like best on telly...the cadence to our talks when we talk about nothing that matters. It's a strange place to start, knowing those things and feeling like you don't know me...," Harry had to pause, let himself breathe before wavering emotion coloured his speech, "but a part of you does." 

A hush fell between them as Eggsy thought. He remembered very well all the things Harry was referencing and more - how he moved when cooking in the kitchen, the way he assembled himself in front of the mirror every morning, the temperature he preferred for the shower. Eggsy turned his head until his ear was flush against Harry's chest and the sound of his heartbeat filled it. "Are you really sorry for what you did? Would you've done something else if you could go back?"

Harry ran his fingers through Eggsy's hair, a comfort more for himself than for the boy. How that question pierced him. He had no easy answer. "If I had another way to know you...to be with you...another opportunity to have gotten you to love me, I would have taken it." Harry's fingers curled into soft hair and held fast. "We have these choices in life, every day. I have grown used to making the hard ones because the alternative is...barely a life worth living. I regret what I've done to you, but that regret doesn't change who I am."

"But you did. You didn't _have_ to do nothin' to my mum. If you were the same person, I would've loved you anyways," Eggsy protested softly. Dampness rimmed his eyes again, and a tear escaped and crept down the boy's cheek onto Harry's chest. "You didn't have to trick me into likin' you, or wantin' to be with you, if you're tellin' the truth that it was mostly you and not a bunch of lies."

"That's a very optimistic view of things," Harry said softly, but he didn't want to deny Eggsy that optimism. He wished he could have shared it. He wished there could have been some other way to have drawn Eggsy to him without such a fallout. There might have been, had he been willing to leave room for Michelle in Eggsy's life, but Harry knew that path would have been fraught with suspicion and tension and probably a great deal of jealousy on her end when Harry could provide for her son and lavish him with gifts and attention far better than she could with limited means. Eggsy believed he had easier options in this world, and strangely that was one of the reasons he loved Eggsy so much. 

"It's true, though. If you really were yourself, I would've. I..." Eggsy sniffled. His body was still warm and relaxed in the afterglow, but Eggsy's emotions were another matter. "I know now that you were showin' me things to give me ideas. Or at least I think so. But I had a crush on you even before then. I remember thinkin' I was gonna get in trouble for it, double, 'cause that's what always happens when you get a crush on someone older and _'specially_ if they're another bloke."

Harry looked into Eggsy's eyes and smiled. "You don't know what that means to me, that you could have loved me without provocation." He stroked baby soft strands of hair behind the boy's ear. "But what would we have done then? Your mother would never have allowed me to see you if she suspected, and there is no doubt she would have. She was already beginning to. We could have lived that way, with you visiting me in secret or disregarding your mother's fears, coming to my house whenever Dean got angry or you had some other trouble.... But there is just as much likelihood that that scenario would have ended in disaster as well." Harry took a quiet breath before he spoke again. "And I...I wanted you so much. I wanted us to be free of everything. I took you, selfishly, so that you could be free of other pressures. But I knew it was selfish, and I knew it would be devastating if you ever found out." 

"You could've just asked," Eggsy insisted, looking back at Harry with sorrowful eyes and a fond smile that were completely at odds with one another. "I dunno, we could've figured something out. Maybe Dean would have gotten bad enough it would've happened anyways. Or I could've done that thing, where you ask to be independent early or somethin'. I just... what was I supposed to do when you kept lyin' to me all the time, and then I found out I had no privacy and never had? An' that you killed people? I still don't know what to do with that last bit."

Harry's mouth thinned as he felt Eggsy's dismay. "It isn't in my nature to be cruel, but I have gotten used to being a certain sort of person if I ever want to have anything I desire." He searched the boy's face. "I don't know whether I'll be a good enough man for you to accept. I have a little bit of hope sometimes, and at other times I am quite sure I fall dreadfully short of the standard." Harry's mind raced over the years ahead of them even as he tried to stop it's conjecturing, but there was no telling what they might find there.

"Desire like what? What sort of person?" Eggsy's brow furrowed. He knew a bit of what Harry was telling him, and at the same time he didn't. "You only kill bad guys... right? Like, people spyin' on the UK. Or tryin' to kill you, like in the warehouse." The thought made him pause and look down. Technically, Eggsy himself could have been counted among those people. He hadn't originally known Harry was there or what people were doing to him, but he had been a part of things.

Harry sighed. "The vast majority of the time, yes. 'Bad' is a very relative term, but I don't intentionally kill innocent people, and I very, _very_ rarely kill by accident. I don't kill because I desire to. I'm just good at it." There really was no good way of explaining Merlin's projects to Eggsy, but that was the best Harry could do. They weren't for Harry, but Harry was more than involved in them all the same. Harry didn't want to see Eggsy turning away from him with such doubt. He drew his fingertips up the boy's back, trying to keep him there in the present. Eggsy had asked more than that, but Harry wasn't sure how to answer.

"Do you think you're a good person?" Eggsy was in turmoil. Harry had just given him conflicting answers, asserting that he didn't intend to hurt good people, but that good and bad were subjective to him. Eggsy could vaguely understand how that might be true, but everything was much more split in his eyes, even after his time spent among criminals and people surviving on the fringes of society. "Or... do you think you're a bad person, because being bad is the only way to get what you want?"

"Honestly, Eggsy, I don't even know what that means, to be a good person or a bad person. I am just a person. I can strive to be greater than my former self, but I am still very human. You're thinking of this in very straightforward terms. I do good things, or I do bad things. Have I done more bad than good? I cannot say because I do not know. You'll get very different answers out of anyone you ask depending on their relationship to me, or their own circumstances." Harry watched Eggsy's eyes as he took it all in. The boy absorbed his words like a sponge even though Harry could not predict how he would react with such a tenuous balance at stake relative to Harry's actions in Eggsy's life. 

Harry's words didn't settle Eggsy's stomach. If anything, they made the fluttering inside him and sense of vertigo even worse. Eggsy tried to lick his lips, but his mouth was dry. "What about me? You said you kinda... did whatever you thought you had to, in order to get me. Is that still true? You'd do anything you had to, even hurt me some more, if you thought you'd get me again?"

Slowly, Harry shook his head. "How can I hope to 'get' you when most of you still loathes the very idea of me? When I found you at the flats after you'd run away, when I realised how deathly afraid and angry with me you were, and that I had no chance of explaining away what I'd done, I meant it when I said that ploy was over." Harry splayed his hands over Eggsy's back just to feel that he was there. "You're here now because you want to reconcile the old Harry. And because you miss him, and the things we did. You're not here because I have any hope of you changing your mind."

Eggsy went quiet and still, scanning Harry's face. That Harry might be lying was always a possibility, but Eggsy remembered one thing very clearly: Harry didn't lie very well when he was truly afraid. There were hints of that now in the older man's face, along with sadness. Harry was resigned to the fact that Eggsy was lost.

"I do miss him," Eggsy concurred. The words felt heavy as they fell from his tongue, dropping with an echoing finality in the small room. "I want to see if you were lying. If he wasn't real, or if he really was you. Or at least part of you. I can't say if you're gonna change my mind about things, but one thing's for sure: you've got a damn better chance of it 'cause you think you've got no chance. The minute I feel like you'll playin' mind games on me, I'm out. Until then, I wanna see what you've got. All of it. 'Specially the bits you didn't want to show me the first time 'round. I get to see you, and then we'll see."

Harry snorted softly. He shouldn't have found anything about that funny. Eggsy had more emotional maturity in this matter than Harry had ever expected. It was just.... "What tenuous optimism you have. Why have any at all?" Harry knew the answer, but he couldn't shake the certainty that he was only going to disappoint Eggsy in the end. Again. He may have been on a pedestal before, but now he was lower than he could ever hope to climb. But Eggsy had an opportunity here, Harry supposed, and he could see why the boy wouldn't pass it up. 

Eggsy squared up, and his mouth set into a stubborn line. "Maybe I'm curious. Maybe I wanna know who I slept with and spent so much time with. Maybe it ain't none of your business what I'm thinkin' or why I'm doin' it, given you didn't tell me nothin' the first time around," he shot back. "You don't got nothin' to lose anyways. An' I don't think you're gonna turn me down. Least of all 'cause you're still down to fuck, right, an' I don't wa-... I'm not gonna get any somewhere else."

Harry felt the humour go out of his face as surely as Eggsy saw it. "Alright. I won't inquire any further," he said quietly, calmly. He could hear the waver in Eggsy's determination, not knowing how to put these things into words, not even knowing what he wanted or needed yet, and of course the desire to lash out whenever Harry touched something too sensitive...but that had stung. It stung because here Harry was, with Eggsy in his arms just like the boy had said. Harry missed him for more than a fuck and Eggsy knew that, or a part of him did, and yet it was so easy to throw at Harry. 

Hurting the older man was a double-sided blade. Part of Eggsy felt satisfaction that Harry was feeling just a little bit of the pain he'd visited on Eggsy's life. Another part saw his old lover hurting and immediately wanted to crumble and apologize. "Right. So... guess we should clean up and get breakfast, huh? Since I gotta meet these foster parents today. Or was there somethin' you wanted to say?"

"No, I think that would be best," Harry admitted. The mood had faded, and he hadn't wanted to break the moment and run before Eggsy was ready that time, but it was clear that their time of bliss were over. 

Harry sighed and carefully pulled himself up to sit. He was a little less sore than the day prior, but he also knew that was because he'd had a full night's rest. He also needed a shower, and it was time to change the bandages anyway. Without looking back at Eggsy, he reached for the bedpost and used it to lever himself to his feet. He was going to need some more painkillers soon though, he realised after the first step towards the toilet. "I have an extra toothbrush," he offered over his shoulder. 

Eggsy watched Harry with more than a touch of curiosity. There hadn't been time to pause when they'd been escaping, and Harry had put on a good show afterwards of trying to maintain his usual grace. Not so now - he'd had to lean against the bedframe to help himself up, and walking looked to be a painful and stilted affair. Eggsy bit his lip to try to hide his amusement, got to his feet, and walked around the bed until he was next to Harry. "Looks like that extra toothbrush ain't doin' you much good at the moment. You need a hand?"

Harry blinked, but after a pause, he held out his arm for Eggsy to hold onto and steady. "Thank you." 

Harry let Eggsy lead him into the smaller space without objection or presumption. His dignity wasn't on the line. Eggsy knew he was hurt and they'd just spent the night together. And the morning. Harry had little left to hide. He was, however, still a great deal taller than Eggsy, but Eggsy did well enough to provide a steady hand for him to grip. 

"D'you gotta go back to... wherever the hospital is in here, for those?" Eggsy nodded towards the bandages scattered across Harry's skin. Some still looked pristine, while others were faintly spotted with colour. Eggsy hadn't seen or heard Harry in pain the previous night or that morning, but he also didn't know how likely it might be that a wound tore back open without the man feeling it. "Or do you gotta change 'em yourself?" 

"I can change these myself. It simply takes time." Harry reached up to the medicine cabinet with a wince and brought out a pair of scissors and the materials he'd need to create new bandages. 

One by one, Harry began clipping them off, leaning against the sink and using a sponge to loosen both the adhesive and the places where he'd bled or the exposed tissue under his skin had clotted against the bandage. It was slow going. They hadn't bothered to bandage Harry's minor cuts and bruises, but there were a handful of larger scrapes and gashes. 

"Oy. Y'know, it'd go faster if you'd just tell me what to do. You're all beat up and not doin' yourself any favors. 'Specially since I made you do stuff you prob'ly weren't s'pposed to." Eggsy swatted at Harry's hand and took the sponge out of his fingers. "You're havin' trouble enough just standin' up. How're you even gonna wash off like this?"

"Maybe I'll take a bath," Harry countered, trying to preserve some dignity, but he gave up and let Eggsy pull him down to sit on the ledge of the tub. It wasn't exactly how he wanted the boy to remember him when they parted ways later that day. "Are you certain you don't just want an excuse to make me suffer a little by ripping these off one by one?" Harry asked, but moved his arm when Eggsy needed him to.

"Maybe I do. Maybe you could use it." Eggsy pulled on the next piece of medical tape. No matter how gentle, it still tugged at the skin and caused the nearby wound to sting. Eggsy ran the sponge back under the sink faucet and got to work dissolving the adhesive. "Maybe I like seein' you vulnerable for once. Reminds me that you're a person."

"Never anything by halves, hm. If you haven't been reminded well enough at this point, I don't think I have any hope left." Harry tilted his head back and winced as Eggsy peeled away the next bandage bit by bit. 

Blood and pus and a few sets of stitches were revealed across Harry's body as Eggsy worked. There were several times when Harry wanted to stop the boy, tell him that Harry could take care of it and that he should go and wait for his turn in the bath. Harry didn't really want Eggsy to see this, even if it made him more human, but Eggsy was intent on his job.

"Quit fussin'. You think I ain't seen things like this?" Eggsy tossed another spent bandage into the bin and gave the sponge another rinse under the tap. "People busted up from fights at the pub, or jumped while gettin' or runnin' drugs. Jumped while buyin' a bird on the street. All kinds of things. Even a couple of blokes who tried some stuff and got so wrecked they beat _themselves_ up while trippin' out. An' how many times have we fucked? Why're you suddenly the one fussin' out of the two of us? I've already seen everythin'."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I don't particularly _like_ being in this state, you know." Eggsy knew. Harry knew he knew, but Harry had no other defence. When Eggsy loosened the last of the bandages and tossed it into the bin, Harry was freshly sore all over, but he forced himself to stand and turn on the water regardless. He thought for a long moment about taking a bath instead, but he wanted to stand even if he had to lean on the tile wall for support. There would be more room for Eggsy that way, and Harry didn't want to make this any more awkward than it already was. 

"I think it's nice I'm not the uncomfortable one, for once." Eggsy set out a couple of clean towels, keeping an eye on Harry all the while. Harry seemed to be keeping his balance, but one never knew. "I would've thought you'd have liked me takin' care of you. Or do you not like feelin' like you're not the one in charge?"

"There's a vast difference between wanting to be in charge and not wanting to be pitied. Even to improve someone's opinion of me." Harry's mouth thinned as he tested the water, not too hot, not too cool, and stepped inside. He left the glass door open for Eggsy and reached up with another wince to widen the spray for the both of them. He knew Eggsy was probably right. If things were better between them, Harry would have enjoyed the boy trying to take care of him even if his self-consciousness over the whole ordeal didn't diminish completely. 

"That's what you think? That I'm _pityin'_ you?" Something in the boy's tone made Harry glance back. Eggsy's face was shadowed with anger again. The boy slipped into the stall and closed the glass door behind him. Eggsy was too short and youthful of face to be described as predatory, but he was trying his best at that moment, attempting to back Harry up against the wet tiled wall. "First you go on about you bein' too old, and now you think bein' beat up is makin' me look down on you?"

The space was too narrow. Harry had to brace one foot against the side of the tub and one hand on the ledge, and he didn't like the way Eggsy was acting. He didn't know where the boy was going with this. "You want me to seem human when I didn't before?" It was the only thing Harry could pluck from Eggsy's words that fit. "But the only thing that works is seeing me laid low. Of course I don't like that." He stopped when he could go no farther, forcing Eggsy to either stop as well or press up against him. 

Eggsy stopped, but only for a moment. His eyes swept up and down, taking all of Harry in - wet, naked, marked with new injuries and old scars alike. Another step and the distance was closed, forcing Eggsy to look up in order to meet Harry's gaze while his hands rested against the older man's sides. "D'you really think you're laid low when you're like this? Are you really _that_ uncomfortable with not bein' all buttoned up and tailored and hidin' behind things? I'm just lookin' at _you_."

Harry took a breath and sighed. The edge went out of his tone. He was tired and he felt it. Eggsy was angry with him, but the boy was on the verge of something, and Harry didn't feel much prepared for it. He kept his hold on the wall and on the ledge and felt the patter of hot water against the back of his head, falling easily over his shoulder and raining down on the boy below. "You're looking at a me who can barely stand up straight."

"I said I wanted to get to know who you really were. That means everythin', y'know. Includin' and especially when you can barely stand up, or your hair's all mussed, or you're wasted out of your mind. Whatever." Eggsy's fingers slid over Harry's ribs, but carefully. He knew that some were injured and tender. Even so, Harry inhaled sharply when he touched one particularly bruised spot. "How come you don't want me to see you right now?"

"Instinct, I suppose," Harry admitted. "I have no idea how forgiving you'll be of my...flaws. My weaknesses. Even when they are temporary. Even you don't know how forgiving you'll be." Harry lifted his hand and stroked the back of Eggsy's neck. Harry's strengths had only served to frighten Eggsy after he found out about everything. His weaknesses seemed to make the boy feel safer, but being vulnerable was still being vulnerable and Harry knew that that little bit of safety would only count for so much in the long run. 

"Only when you hurt me." Water dripped onto Eggsy's face and weighted down his hair. A slight smile played upon the boy's lips, giving him an impish look. "Y'know, when we were first tryin' stuff, I was all nervous and scared, not really knowin' what was goin' to happen or what you'd think of me. How stuff'd turn out. I did it anyways, 'cause I wanted you."

Eggsy caught Harry's gaze. Harry might have felt pinned even if he wasn't pressed against the shower wall. "You ain't got a chance of gettin' me back if you ain't gonna take a chance, you know. I can't know you unless y'talk to me and let me in. Maybe I won't like it, an' maybe I won't forgive you, but if you don't play at all, you've decided to lose."

Harry gripped the ledge again, hard. "That's all very kind of you," he said quietly, "but you've been back for one day." He tried to smile. He wanted to do everything he could for Eggsy, but he didn't know if he could take having hope and losing the boy again. Eggsy would be devastated if that happened. Even worse that Harry, probably, and his insides twisted at the thought. "You are putting a lot on the line allowing yourself even that much hope," he warned the boy. By now he was sure that Eggsy would deny it, would say that he could drop the opportunity if he felt the slightest doubt in Harry's honesty, but Harry could still see that little bit of hope in him showing through. 

" _Now_ you're worried about hurtin' me." Eggsy rolled his eyes and huffed out a quiet laugh. "I guess that's a good sign. That's my decision, though. You made a lot of decisions for me, and I'm makin' this one for m'self. I want answers, or I'm never gonna stop wonderin' about things. An' if it ends up that you're full of shit and were lyin' again, that nothin' about the you I used to know was real? Well, that's how it goes. Never thought _you'd_ be the chicken out of the two o'us."

Harry closed his eyes. He did his best not to express his exasperation, but he didn't think he managed. "Right. For now at least, wash your hair. And let me get cleaned up." Harry handed Eggsy the shampoo, and with a bit of shuffling, moved around him to the other side of the water. They used to have a routine like that. Where Eggsy would stand in front because he was shorter and he could catch the spray without blocking it from Harry. It was easy to fall back into the familiar stance, even if Harry had to be careful while he ran the soap over his body, avoiding the wounds as much as possible.

Eggsy watched as much as he could, doing his best to keep the soap out of his eyes. Watching Harry was both a reward and a torment; he got to see someone he'd missed for so long just a little bit longer, and simultaneously to punish the man by displaying himself nude in front of him. Harry hadn't gotten relief that morning, and Eggsy milked the opportunity as much as he could, stretching his frame while he washed his hair and letting the showerhead wash traces of soap down the outline of his body.

Pointedly, Harry didn’t comment on it. He kept his eyes trained away from Eggsy whenever they strayed his way, and they did more than once, but when the suds were rinsed away, Harry put his hand to Eggsy's shoulder and smiled calmly before he pushed open the door and reached for the towels. He handed one to Eggsy and nodded for him to go first, making it clear Harry didn't expect reciprocation. He wrapped the towel around himself gingerly and followed Eggsy out to dry off with a careful step over the ledge.

Harry could have asked how Eggsy was looking forward to meeting the Wilsons, to having a real flat to stay in, a room of his own, and no responsibilities like he had before, but Eggsy had already made all that very clear and there was no point in talking just to fill the silence. That kind of silence only happened before in their shared mornings when they were both equally still half asleep. Harry found the juxtaposition...not reassuring, but not unsettling either. 

Eggsy dried wordlessly and wrapped the towel around himself before wandering back into the bedroom to redress in his old clothes. He didn't have anything else to dress in at the moment - his old clothing was left behind and possibly destroyed at the warehouse or Viv's flat, and anything Harry might still have would be too small. Eggsy had the clothes he came in, and anything more would have to be bought.

Harry took a while longer redoing his bandages, but the process of putting them on was much easier than the process of taking them off and it wasn't long before he reappeared and went to his closet. He put himself together slowly, laying his suit on the bed, sitting down at the edge of the mattress, and, piece by piece, began to look like the Harry Eggsy remembered. Pressed lines and starched fabric replaced mottled, purple skin. Even the curve of his back straightened a little with the addition of layers. Harry calmed as he dressed. The clothing was him as much as the bare skin underneath. 

When he finished tying his laces, doing his hair, and adding cuff links and tie, he turned back to Eggsy with a trace more of the energy necessary to face the day ahead of them. "Are you ready?" Harry asked in his comfortably smooth tone. 

"Yeah, I guess so." Harry was beautiful like that, but also intimidating. That was the point, but he felt otherworldly and unassailable to Eggsy, as most aristos were. Aristos who were special agents were doubly so. Eggsy kept an eye on Harry and had to silently repeat to himself just how vulnerable he knew Harry to be - how human, how flawed, how injured. Harry was smoothed over and back in control, and Eggsy had to swallow his feelings regarding that. "Cafeteria, then?"

True to form, Harry nodded once, back straight even though he was relaxed. "Breakfast and then we'll collect the necessary documents from Merlin before we leave. Luckily we didn't sleep the whole day away. We still have a while yet." Eggsy saw one last crack in Harry's armour when he thumbed a small bottle of pills open and took one before stowing the bottle away again. He collected his cane and held an arm out for Eggsy, encouraging him to draw nearer as though Harry meant to tell him not to be daunted. The corners of his mouth were drawn up in Harry's ever present, collected half smile. 

Eggsy took Harry's arm despite how put off he was by the confidence. He let Harry have the gallantry of the moment; he remembered earlier, helping him in the bathroom and pinning him against the wall while his injuries held sway.

They passed various strangers, but no one Eggsy recognized. Not until they got to the cafeteria with the usual staff. It was getting late enough that breakfast was on the verge of turning into lunch. Eggsy compromised by getting a fried egg sandwich with a side of chips and fruit, and a soda to wake him up.

Harry ordered an omelette with sausage and cheese and pretty much everything, and a tall black coffee. Together they found a table out of the way, and Harry did an admirable job of pretending he wasn't in pain at all. The people who worked there were used to seeing injuries, but they also covered it up well. 

Their breakfast arrived quickly and Harry thanked the waiter before they were left alone again. He took up his fork and knife right away, but paused to send a small smile Eggsy's way before he tucked in. 

Eating with Harry still wasn't normal. Not anymore, at least. Eggsy tried not to inhale his food, but his time with people in the drug trade hadn't decreased his sense of food insecurity. 

His sandwich disappeared quickly, leaving him dunking chips in ketchup and slowly draining his soda glass while he watched Harry eat. A glance around the room told him that most of the staff had finished their meals and moved on some time ago, as the place was nearly empty. "...how'd you find these people, anyways?"

Harry glanced up with a curious quirk of his brow. "You mean originally? How I got the job?" He gave a quick pull of his mouth that wasn't quite a smile, more like a warning that he was about to receive Eggsy's judgement. "Family ties, I'm afraid. I learned of their existence just after college, decided I want to take a go at it. A life of danger and opportunity. I turned out to be rather good at it." Harry paused to read Eggsy. "Why, how did you imagine I'd been introduced to the world of high profile espionage?"

"I thought... y'know, maybe at your school. When you were... experimentin' and introduced to things." Eggsy dunked another chip into ketchup and swirled it in the cup. "At school, when you were talkin' with the professors."

A thought occurred to Eggsy, and his gaze shot up to Harry in alarm. "You didn't-... um, with my dad, ever? Did you? That's not a thing you do with recruits?"

Harry blinked and straightened involuntarily. There were few times he'd looked that taken aback. "Absolutely not." Harry shook himself. "No, your father was attractive young man, and no doubt it's never been unheard of for a mentor and his recruit to engage in more than a strictly platonic relationship, but...no." Harry's face went through several expressions rapidly, as though he were really looking back on the situation. "He was charming. I'll admit I was taken with him in that way, in his brightness and his exuberance, but not quite like...with you. I sought him out at first simply because I was fed up with Arthur's posturing about the kind of men who were supposed to make up our ranks, but I did come to like him very easily. And that's not to say I didn't have my share of experiences while I was at school, just that it's not how I discovered Kingsman."

Eggsy ducked his head and pressed his palm against his mouth. There wasn't any pretence at hiding his emotions regarding this reassurance. Doubt had loomed for a few moments - that Harry had other reasons for liking him, or that the taboos they were indulging in were deeper than Eggsy realised. For a few seconds, the boy had been defensively angry and jealous at his long-gone father, and now guilt weighed on him for ever suspecting. "I... ok, good. Just, with what you said about things in school, and how you all knew each other, and recruitin' down family lines, I didn't know. I didn't know if you were all involved with each other."

Harry raised a brow at that. "'Involved with each other'? I have never been in a relationship with another Kingsman agent, if you were wondering. Most people here couldn't tell you if I've ever been in a relationship with anyone, to be honest. But I won't pretend by any measure that family ties didn't have everything to do with my discovery of the organization. It just wasn't flaunted in my family." Harry took a sip of his coffee and let Eggsy recover. Contrasted by the boy's hunched shoulders and panicked expression, Harry was the picture of calm. 

"It just seemed... like it'd happen, y'know? If all the things between teachers and students were regular. Or older student and younger students." Eggsy kept his eyes on his plate. He didn't know what to make of the fact that he'd gotten so angry thinking about Harry with anyone else - or where his mind jumped to from there, suspecting people he knew or faceless boys in other countries. Eggsy's stomach turned. "You haven't... with anyone? Since things got bad. With us, I mean."

Harry looked down at his plate and sighed. "No, I haven't. I tried, after a long while, but, as the expression goes, my heart just wasn't in it." Harry hadn't given up masturbation, or his own fantasies, but as far as finding another boy went, even without strings attached, he hadn't tried again. He knew Merlin still wondered how long it would take him, and Harry wondered the same, but at least after the experience in Belize, he'd left Harry alone about it. Harry wondered for a moment whether Eggsy would be angry with Merlin if he knew what had almost happened between them. Even though it was different than the context of Harry searching out another boy like Eggsy. 

Eggsy nodded. He tried to school his features, but a spark of satisfaction was evident. He didn't have competition to worry about. He hadn't been replaced in his absence, and Harry didn't seem interested in replacing him. "Right. Good." Eggsy cleared his throat and tried not to think about how angry he'd almost been simply thinking of Harry with someone else - even long before they'd known one another. It was silly to feel jealous of people Harry had known back when he was a youth in school, given that Eggsy hadn't even been born yet, but he was.

Harry’s gaze lingered on Eggsy before he went back to his breakfast. They ate in silence until their plates were clean and Harry had finished his coffee. The diners around them didn't remain long and the ones who did had the larger tables farther away, enjoying their idle hours in groups before they had to get back to work. 

"One more visit to Merlin," Harry prompted when they'd stalled a little too long without an excuse. He forced himself up to his feet and held the cane with both hands before him. He wanted to offer his hand to Eggsy, but instead he reached out and gestured for the boy to join him. He didn't want to think about how Merlin was going to greet them when they arrived. It was a good thing he'd learned how to school away the blood from his face and keep it away decades ago. There was no way Merlin hadn't been watching them last night. 

Eggsy didn't try to take Harry's hand or arm on the way there. He stayed more distant than he had on the way to the cafeteria, perhaps in part because of his discomfort regarding where they were heading and what was to come. Eggsy was being pawned off onto strangers. They might be perfectly nice people, but the situation wasn't one he was choosing for himself. It was a matter of circumstance. Harry had worked to destroy his home life, Eggsy couldn't go back to living with him, and his street life was no longer an option, which left him with little choice.

The tension between them had resurfaced that morning, but as the time to leave drew nearer, it began to grow more concrete. Eggsy hadn't been expecting to build a bridge with Harry the night before, but something had happened between them. For a short while, even though Harry's actions hadn't been forgotten, they had been close again. Nearly. The outside world hadn't mattered so much anymore. 

By the time Harry rapped his knuckles twice against Merlin's door, he was glad to have arrived.

Merlin cracked the door open, glanced at the two of them, and stepped aside to admit them. His office was just as they’d left it the day before, but Eggsy still viewed the room with a bitter taste in his mouth. Landon had helped provide cameras to Harry, both for the house and Michelle’s flat. Merlin was Harry's friend, not Eggsy’s, and he kept that thought in the forefront of his mind as he took a seat.

Harry gave his friend a stiff smile, choosing to stand. Merlin's gaze moved from Eggsy to Harry and gave away nothing. "Come to pick up documents for our meeting," Harry broke the silence. "Everything still on with the Wilsons?" 

Merlin could see through him, Harry knew it, and he wasn't sure if he was being judged or applauded behind the man's impenetrable gaze. He would find out later, he was sure, but it didn't make standing there any less awkward.

"Everything is moving forward, yes. I decided to leave some information out of our communication with the Wilsons, to be filled at your discretion. They don't have much background on Eggsy. I thought it wise to leave out mention of any criminal activities or connections in case it affected their attitudes or gave them cold feet." Merlin picked up a folder from his desk and held it out to Harry.

Harry nodded. "Probably for the best. Although they'll know you've had it rough," Harry added to Eggsy, lest the boy think that he had to lie even more to the new family, "and if you wish to tell them things you've had to do, you may. It's up to you." Harry opened the folder and found the forms he’d need along with identification for him to pose as Eggsy's case worker. He was no more looking forward to this than Eggsy was, but there was really no other option. 

"An' if I don't like 'em? I don't have to stay there, right? Would I gotta come back here until we found someone better?" Eggsy was nervous. The Wilsons were likely to be perfectly nice people, but all he could think about was his time with his aunt, and the houses for runaways, and the stories he'd heard from others when he was a drug runner. Lots of kids had gone through the system and not had a healthy experiences with it.

"You don't have to stay with them if you don't get along," Harry reassured him, "although you should try for a while. Nothing is going to be perfect at first." He glanced to Merlin. "If you'd rather not stay with them, while we're looking for other options...yes, you would either stay with myself or with Sean. Or a temporary home for children or a paid caretaker if neither of those options are agreeable to you." Harry watched Eggsy, unreadable in his own tone and expression, but hoping he'd see something in Eggsy's eyes and hating that he had to lay these options out to be sorted through. 

Eggsy nodded. "Alright. I mean, I'll give it a try, but I'm not promisin' anything. If they don't work out, they don't work out. I can give 'em a while though, just so long as they're not awful like my aunt was."

Eggsy's expression hardened for a moment and he glanced at the two men. "An' neither of you have put little cameras and things all over the place. Right? Promise me."

Harry sighed and nodded. "I promise, we haven't." Eggsy tried to stare him down and Harry held his gaze. He didn't know whether Eggsy would believe him. Even if Eggsy wanted to, there was no telling whether he'd be able to. Either way, they had to go through with this. 

Harry took out his new ID and several business cards and placed them in his wallet. When he was satisfied everything was in order, he looked from Merlin to Eggsy. "Shall we be on our way then?"

"I guess so." Eggsy was staring at Merlin, who looked back blankly. The man wouldn't crack no matter what Eggsy might do. Much as he cared about Harry, his concern didn't extend to Eggsy except where he was concerned in Harry's wellbeing. Eggsy would get nothing out of him, and the boy must have realized that as he looked away towards the folder tucked into Harry's arm. "Right. Where're we meetin' them, then?"

"At their flat." Harry smiled tightly. "Best get you settled in I think." From there Eggsy and Mr. and Mrs. Wilson could decide what to do. Eggsy needed new clothes and things, but that wasn't the first order of business. "Come along. And thank you, Merlin." He tipped his chin at the other man before he led Eggsy to the door. 

South Kensington, Harry thought. It was practically going home. Just a couple streets away, and there Eggsy would be staying. 

Eggsy stayed quiet all the way, looking out the window of the car at the familiar landscape. Kensington was familiar, and that was a curse and a blessing. Eggsy was all too aware of how close Harry was to the flat in question. It had been one of several reasons Eggsy had chosen it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (5/7) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://dark-kingsman-block-party.tumblr.com/about) We may be starting a Secret Santa exchange soon.
> 
> Also, possible wait on next week's chapter.


	42. Chapter 42

Harry pulled up to the kerb in front of the building and Eggsy looked up. It was like any other block of flats in the area, well kept and respectable. The people living within would be well-to-do and wouldn't lack for the funds to take care of him. Eggsy still felt butterflies in his stomach. "Guess this is it, then."

Harry turned off the engine and glanced over. "Yes it is." He glanced up at the building himself and then back down to Eggsy before pulling a mobile out of his pocket and offering it to the boy. "My number is first in the contacts. If you need me, for any reason at all, all you need do is call." This was the last they were going to see of each other for a while, or maybe not--Harry didn't know, but Harry was familiar territory and he needed Eggsy to feel a little less stranded out there by himself in some new place. 

Eggsy snatched the phone up and dropped it in his pocket. Perhaps he would call, or perhaps he wouldn't - it was a safety line that was present if he needed it. Eggsy pulled on the door release and stepped outside the car, still looking up. The building wasn't particularly tall, as most buildings weren't in London, but it was very different from his mother's building. Flowers and other greenery edged the concrete walkway up to the doors. Eggsy glanced back to see if Harry was following.

He was. Harry shut the car door behind him and straightened with his cane in hand and the light breeze ruffling his hair. He strode towards the front door with sure steps, even with the cane clacking softly against the walk beside him. From then on, Harry made it look like the added feature was entirely unnecessary as he took the steps and pressed the buzzer. He didn't try to meet Eggsy's eyes again as they waited. 

"Hello?" a woman's voice came over the speaker, sounding expectant, "Mr. Talbot is that you and Gary?" 

Harry smiled up into the small camera next to the speaker. "Indeed it is. May we come up?" No sooner than he had asked did the door buzz them in and Harry opened it to usher Eggsy inside a small but modern foyer. 

Eggsy pulled a face at his given name. He hated being called Gary. He was left staring sullenly at his feet while Harry pushed the lift button to take them up to the appropriate floor. He felt like he was being pawned off again, just one more unwanted thing in a chain of people who wanted him temporarily until they'd had enough or he proved too bothersome.

Harry's hand fell between his shoulders. Even though Harry was staring ahead at the mirrored doors before them, he rubbed there gently until those doors opened to let them out again. They found themselves in a small vestibule with a door on the other end that opened before Harry could go up to it and knock. 

A smiling woman came out the other side, with dark blonde hair and probably no older than Eggsy's mother. She had a round face, plump cheeks, and bright eyes that lit up to see them. 

"Donna, I presume?" Harry entreated her with a handshake, but she quickly looked to Eggsy. 

"Hello Gary. I've been told you like to go by Eggsy?" she asked, smoothing her hands over her khaki trousers. Upon first impression, she presented a much more kindly demeanour than anyone Eggsy had met in a long time. 

"Yes please," Eggsy answered, suddenly shy. Donna reminded him all too much of some of the kindly women from his mother's old workplace, who would give him candy and things to read while waiting for his mother to get off of work. She was soft in a way that the people he'd known recently hadn't been. Donna likely had lived a sheltered life and had never seen hardened criminals. She possibly hadn't even interacted with children from lower income brackets before. Eggsy felt out of place simply looking at her.

Her smile grew at hearing him anyway, and she didn't seem in the least put off by his quietness. "Eggsy it is, then. Come on inside," she invited them. 

Harry let Eggsy go first as Donna led them through a short hall and into her sitting room. Wooden floors met with brightly decorated white walls and furniture in a way that brightened the room. It was comfortably sized and looked lived in, with books and a mug on the coffee table and other little touches of day to day life sitting around the room, but it was definitely well kept. Donna continued to smile as she watched Eggsy taking in the space. 

"There's a room at the end of the hall," she said to Eggsy, "You can go ahead and look. It's yours." 

Eggsy cast a questioning look at Harry and Donna, but when they both seemed encouraging he slipped down the hall. He passed a bathroom that was quite spacious and ended up in the doorway at the end.

The room was bigger than the room he'd had with his mother. It looked like something out of a catalogue, something meant to sell a house or flat rather than to be lived in. Donna hadn't known the tastes of whoever might be living there, so the room was decked out in neutrals. The frames mounted on the walls showed photographs of the city, or the wilderness, or occasional shots of marinas on the seashore. Eggsy looked around, but it felt like a hotel room. It was impersonal.

He could hear the murmur of Harry and Donna's voices out in the sitting room, and when Eggsy returned he found that they had spread out the paperwork over the dining table between the sitting room and the kitchen. Harry was just beginning to show her through the liability forms and where she needed to sign, but she looked up when she saw Eggsy. 

"How do you like it?" she asked. "There's not much in it now, but it'll liven up with some of your own things in there."

"It's really nice. Better'n some places I've been," Eggsy responded politely. The flat still felt overwhelming and alien. When he'd moved in with Harry, he'd at least known the man - or thought he did. Donna was a stranger, as was her husband that he hadn't met. The room was a blank slate, not prepared for him by someone who already knew him. "You're really okay with me stayin' here? Even if we don't know each other?"

She nodded her head and shifted towards him, giving him all of her attention while Harry waited with pen in hand. "I am," she assured him. "I know it might take a while to get used to, but I hope you'll get to know us. You shouldn't be uncomfortable here for long." 

Behind her, Harry was doing a good job of keeping his face blank but amiable. No one would have suspected he had any greater interest in the proceedings but for Eggsy's professional care and wellbeing.

"Speaking of," Donna went on, "Kevin should be back any minute now. He works in systems analysis up in Mayfair."

"Kevin?" Eggsy wandered closer and took a seat close to Harry. "It's just you two, then? What do you do?" Eggsy knew the couple had to be well off to live where they did, but he had no idea just how posh that might mean. Donna and Kevin might not know what it meant to take in a kid like him, either. Or they might have the wrong idea, with an impression that they were saving some poor boy from the bottom of the barrel and a life on the dole.

"Photography, mainly." Donna repositioned herself at the table to talk to Eggsy. She wasn't ignoring Harry, but she was definitely more focused on him. Her personality wasn't like Harry's really, but for a second she looked at Eggsy with a soft kind of smile that seemed to project hope and a quiet excitement, and Eggsy remembered something very similar on Harry's face the first few times he'd been in the man's house as a new resident. 

She looked like she was about to go on when they heard the door unlock. Donna perked up and, looking around the corner, they saw a man of slight build and dark hair enter the flat. He called "Hello!" from the hall, and came to the kitchen. "Gary, I presume?" he asked when he saw Eggsy. This man's face could light up like Donna's did. He seemed younger than he was, perhaps. "And Harry?" He laughed at the rhyme while Harry only nodded in confirmation. 

"Actually he goes by Eggsy," Donna spoke up. "Eggsy, this is Kevin." 

Both of them seemed nice. It made Eggsy nervous. Niceness always came with strings and hidden elements attached, at least in his experience. Eggsy didn't know them well enough yet to guess at what it might be, and the flat didn't give him any clues. "H-hey. Um, nice to meet you, Kevin. Donna was tellin' me she takes photos and you do... somethin' with computers?"

Eggsy glanced back and forth between the two of them. Before he was even aware of what he was doing, he felt wool beneath his fingertips. He'd reached beside him and touched Harry's arm as reassurance that he wasn't alone.

Kevin laughed. "'Something with computers' sounds about right." 

He didn't even notice. If Donna did, she didn't question it. Harry pushed one of the folders towards Kevin. "I'll need you to look over this and sign for temporary guardianship." Donna looked back down at her own form and Kevin searched for a pen, both of them speaking quietly and genially as they read through the documents. Harry glanced to Eggsy and put his palm over the boy's hand, squeezing gently, before he let go. Harry was there, his touch said. Harry could speak to him in that way if not aloud. 

"How come you're thinkin' of, y'know, fosterin'?" Eggsy asked. The more he looked around, the more surreal it all seemed. Harry adopting him had been one thing, because they'd known each other a bit and Harry had known his father. These people were taking a stranger into their homes with, seemingly, no questions asked. Very little pickiness, either - Eggsy would have thought they might have taken one look at him, heard his accent, and turned him away.

"We've been thinking about it for a long time now," Donna said, once again disregarding her form to give all her attention to Eggsy. It probably didn't matter, seeing as how the forms weren't real. "We've always wanted kids, but having a child of our own wasn't really as important to us." She glanced at Kevin, but it wasn't furtive. She still seemed just as pleased. "There's a lot of people in the world already, and a lot of children out there who're looking for homes. I suppose you're probably nervous about all this. Harry told us you'd been bounced around to a lot of places before, but never in a real foster home."

"Y-yeah. I... haven't had really great experiences. Family couldn't take care of me or didn't want me, and I got passed around to some bad places. I guess it's just... weird to think that people might really want me. Or that I don't gotta make a plan about runnin' away to keep myself safe. I don't really know what it's like to not have to worry or be somewhere for a longer time. Y'know?" Eggsy crossed his arms in self-protection. Donna and Kevin were nice. Almost too nice. It made him nervous and acutely aware of Harry at his side.

"We'd be glad to make sure those days are over," Kevin spoke up. He wore the same kind of earnest expression Donna had and it was hard not to feel a degree of tension in the room for the very sake of that earnestness. 

"We can all hope so," Harry added. "You can call me at any time, day or night. My card is in your folders and I've given Eggsy my number as well. There is nothing too big or too small that you can't contact me with." He looked to each of the Wilsons and they nodded in turn. A few minutes later, they handed their forms back to Harry and he stowed them away neatly in another folder.

"Let me make you both a cup of tea," Donna said and hurried off around the counter while Kevin seemed to be getting the measure of his new ward. 

"Are you nervous about living in a new place?" he asked. "I imagine I would be if I were in your position."

Eggsy nodded. "And... new everythin', I guess. I haven't been in school for a bit, so even if I go back to the same one, my friends ain't gonna be there. Everythin's different." The boy fidgeted. He couldn't see anything wrong with the Wilsons at all. They were both nice and welcoming. Eggsy couldn't see any red flags. He'd have to put his trust in them to take care of him, though, instead of taking care of himself. It made him uneasy.

"You can expect a call from a tutor I'll be setting up for Eggsy next week," Harry said, and thanked Donna as she returned with steaming cups of tea. "And you'll need to go on a shopping trip soon. He's been able to salvage very little of his belongings." 

No doubt there were all sorts of questions running through Donna and Kevin's minds, but they nodded in unison and didn't ask why. "Sounds like something we can work on a little bit at a time," Donna said. "Get the basics first and before you know it, your room will be full of your own things." 

Eggsy looked down. Memories were surfacing of his old rooms - at his mother's flat, and when he lived with Harry and wasn't able to decorate the bedroom he _really_ slept in. "Yeah. Prob'ly clothes first. I don't really got nothin' anymore." The boy flushed. He didn't enjoy feeling dependent on others. It made him feel too vulnerable. Far better to steal what he needed than to have to ask for someone to buy him new clothing.

"Fresh start, then." Donna smiled. 

For a long moment, Harry looked between Eggsy and the people who were about to become his caretakers. He even glanced around the room, as though imagining Eggsy in it, to stay. He took a small breath when his attention came back to the conversation, and then made to stand. "Well then. Everything is in order, and I won't keep you. I'll give you a call tomorrow and check in. Remember what I said, you can call me at any time, for anything." 

Donna and Kevin both stood to shake Harry's hand and thank him, assuring him that they would call if needed and that they were very happy Eggsy was there. And then Harry turned to Eggsy, small and familiar smile in place, but Eggsy was sure there was a hint of sadness in it, hidden just under the surface. 

"Well then. This is goodbye for now," Harry said, voice betraying little. 

Eggsy nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak much. He could barely move. Strange as it was, he'd spent so much time running away from Harry and now it seemed unthinkable that Harry was the one walking away. Living as a drug runner had been frightening at first, and then Eggsy had gotten used to it. Now he was frightened all over again, left to strangers in a strange place and unable to really talk to them about anything. "Yeah. Um. For now." Eggsy cleared his throat. His hand went to his pocket and the weight of the phone he'd been given. "Bye, then." 

Harry nodded once, short, direct, but his eyes lingered. "Until next time." With that he glanced back up at the Wilsons, offered them a smile, and turned on his heel towards the door while Donna went to see him out. 

Eggsy didn't really hear their voices as Harry left, just a quiet murmur and then the door shut. He didn't even hear Harry's steps after that. He was gone, and in his place was Donna, coming back into the kitchen while Eggsy and Kevin waited. 

"Well then," she began, "Are you hungry? Have you eaten lunch?"

Eggsy shook his head. "No, not had lunch yet. I was too nervous to eat before comin' over. I didn't know if things were gonna go okay or not." It was beginning to dawn on Eggsy that Harry had really left. He was alone with Donna and Kevin, for better or worse, for at least a little while. If things got bad he could always call Harry, but he needed to at least give the couple a try. "It's okay if you've already eaten, though. I can wait for later."

"Nonsense. How about I make us something small? That way if you're still nervous, you don't have to worry and there will be plenty more for dinner." Donna went back around to the kitchen. "We'll have to figure out what you like, I suppose. How about mac and cheese?" She had the tone of someone who could spend all day muttering to herself, narrating her thoughts aloud and to anyone who passed by. Michelle had done that sometimes, especially when she was relaxed and it was just the two of them.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Eggsy felt a little awkward that Donna was already fussing over and waiting on him, but also a bit relieved. They weren't just people who wanted a kid like buying a pet, it seemed, and neither were they reluctantly caring for him out of a sense of duty or virtuousness. "I'm not really all that picky, I guess. I've not... um, places where I was before, I had to take care of myself a lot, so it was whatever was easy for me to make or if it was already ready to eat. Stuff from boxes."

That wasn't true, but these people didn't know about his time living with Harry, and Harry had told them he came from a hard background. It'd be easier to make up stories based on his life on the street, or what he saw at the shelters.

"Ok. Then we'll just have to try new things and find out what you like." Donna put a pot on the stove for the macaroni and began slicing up an apple to go on the side. 

While she made lunch, Kevin got up to go to the sitting room. It wasn't far and he didn't have to strain to make conversation. He might have been giving Eggsy some room, but it was hard to tell. "If you'd like to check out the neighbourhood, we can go on a walk. The park isn't far, and if you've never been to Kensington Gardens, it'll be worth it. Maybe we can do some of that shopping while we're out?"

"Yeah. I mean, it'd be nice if we could? I... kinda don't have any other clothes. I lost everything when I had to get out of my last place. Harry... my social worker, he had a few things laying around that I got to try on, but none of them fit, so I didn't get any spares from the lost and found. It'd be nice to see where the park is. I like gettin' out and doin' stuff, although the park probably doesn't have anywhere to skate. And I don't have a skateboard anymore."

"Then we'll have to see if we can find a place," Kevin said with a bright note. He didn't seem to think badly of skating as a past time, even if a lot of the kids who associated with it were probably not good role models. Maybe he just wasn't thinking about it like that. It was true, Kensington Gardens was not a place for skating, and Eggsy had been there with Harry before, but Kevin probably wasn't imagining South Bank either. 

A few minutes later, Donna dished up mac and cheese with slices of apple for herself and Eggsy, as Kevin had probably eaten already. "Not a very traditional meal I'm sure, but I think it'll taste good." She smiled, laughing at herself. 

"It's just fine," Eggsy agreed, and dug in. He was hungrier than he'd thought, and the food was very good. His plate was clean before he knew it. "Maybe this sounds weird, but I didn't get a lot of fresh stuff for a while, so the apple was pretty amazing. When you've gotta survive on chips an' instant stuff and all that, going back to fresh stuff is completely different."

Eggsy fidgeted. He wanted to make a good impression, and he also didn't know what Donna and Kevin thought of him yet. It was likely that they were as wealthy as Harry and didn't find it burdensome to care for him, but he was used to being thought of as a liability. "It's really ok? Even if you have to get me clothes and stuff? I mean, you don't really know me very well yet."

Donna took his plate away, but paused to look him in the eye. "It really is ok. We knew it would be like this when we decided to be a foster family." She shrugged and went to the sink. "It'll take some getting used to, for you too. But you don't have to worry about inconveniencing us." 

Kevin nodded in agreement, seeming to think Donna summed it up pretty well. "We'll try not to overwhelm you or anything, but we're pretty excited to have you here," he admitted. 

Eggsy flushed. He wasn't used to kindness anymore. The sorts of people he'd been dealing with had had a profound impact on his views, including how he expected to be treated. "I just don't know what to do. I'm used to trying to make myself small, y'know? Not a bother. Useful. You couldn't really get anything if you weren't that. It's weird to me having you both, I guess, want to help instead of having to be convinced to help."

Donna hummed and thought about that for a minute. "Well...why don't we have you help with some of the things we do? You can help me with the dishes tonight. And set the plates when it's time for dinner. Little things like that add up to a lot. It doesn't have to be a job or anything, just, if it makes you feel more comfortable." It didn't seem like they'd expected him to want to work for his time there, but at least Donna understood where the feeling was coming from, in theory. 

Eggsy nodded quickly. That was more in line with what he'd understood. "Yeah, I can do that. Not a problem. I don't want you to be bothered by my being here. I can help out with whatever." His time would be limited if he was going to be studying again, as Harry had said he was going to send tutors over, but Eggsy couldn't imagine that their demands would be that bad.

"That sounds like a good plan, then. And we can always adjust as needed." Donna seemed to be satisfied with that. Or perhaps just satisfied that Eggsy felt a little more comfortable. "Well then, shall we be off? We'll make an afternoon of it." She went to find her purse and Kevin picked himself up out of the armchair to join them. 

"Mr. Talbot, or Harry, let us know that you have a regular income, set up by...I think it was your grandmother?" Kevin began, "But we'd like you to keep that for yourself. Put it in savings for when you're older, maybe. Or if you want to buy something really big and it's not your birthday. For all these day to day things, you don't have to worry about paying for anything, ok?"

"What? Are you sure?" Eggsy knew Harry was giving him an allowance, but not how much. The boy had assumed that it would be much the same as he'd always lived: scraping by and shoplifting for anything extra. "I don't mind if it gets used for clothes and stuff. Everywhere else made me work for things." Even Harry, in a roundabout way. Eggsy had realized since leaving that he'd paid for everything in another way - through company and sex. It wasn't entirely fair to file his previous time with the man in that way, and yet it wasn't entirely unfair either. Harry had taken him in out of sexual interest and manipulated what was already there to have Eggsy as a live-in sexual partner.

"Yes, we're sure. It wouldn't feel entirely right to us to have you pay for everything either, especially when you could be saving that money." Kevin sounded like he was sure, but he also didn't know that money came from Harry and not Eggsy's deceased family members. "When you're a kid, you're not supposed to be working for things in that way yet. You'll be learning in school instead. After that you get to pay for things on your own. When you're grown up."

"You'll want to have a savings when you're older and starting out on your own," Donna added. 

"I don't even know what I'm gonna be doin' yet. Or if I can. Everythin's all messed up with my school," Eggsy murmured, looking down at his feet. "I'm behind in everythin' because of all my home stuff and how I've had to move around a lot, or drop out for a year. I don't know if anywhere will take me, or if I can afford it. Or what sort of job I'd like to do. That never really got covered, they just assumed everybody'd be working retail or somethin'."

Donna's mouth pulled down at that, but Kevin didn't look as phased. "You'll have time to catch up. And maybe with a regular tutor, you can start to think about what you might be good at and what you'd like to do someday." 

They led him into the hall and made sure they had their things. The Wilsons had a security system for their flat like Harry had at his house. Except for Harry's extra security. It was a little thing, but just another of many that let Eggsy know he was in an entirely different class now. These people were younger, from a more modern crowd of money than Harry had been, but it was still going to take some getting used to.

Eggsy took one more nervous glance around and stepped outside with his new foster parents. They locked the door behind them and Eggsy was struck with a heady sense of deja-vu. They were only a few streets away from Harry, and the neighbourhood looked much the same, neat little rows of houses of the well-to-do. People went by walking their dogs, just like Eggsy used to do with Harry's dog. Donna and Kevin were taking him out to be treated to new possessions, just as Harry had done.

It was the same, and yet it wasn't. It wasn't at all. When Eggsy glanced behind him, there wasn't a dapper older man in a tailored suit and a warm smile. There was only a couple who looked like they wouldn't be out of place from between the pages of a gossip magazine.

* * *

At first Harry had hoped that he might hear from Eggsy within a day. Had thought Eggsy might call him before bed if only to demand more details of their time together before. Harry knew Eggsy wasn't going to feel like he fit in with the Wilsons, although at least they would be kind and he would be cared for. He'd thought that might have driven Eggsy to seek him out again just for someone to talk to whom Eggsy didn't have to pretend to be ok for, but nearly a week passed and still Harry had received no calls and no texts from the boy. 

True to his word for once, Harry had not set up any surveillance on the Wilsons' flat. He knew that the tutor he'd sought out for Eggsy had contacted the family and they'd scheduled their first meeting for the week following, but that was all Harry knew. He sought Merlin out after Eggsy had left. Merlin had seen them together that night, just as Harry had suspected, and they'd talked for long hours after Harry handed his boy over to the foster family. 

When Harry found himself in Merlin's office again, the time and the silence had been eating at him long enough to wear at what small hopes he had left. 

Merlin glanced up from over the screen of his laptop, took one look at Harry, and began minimizing his screens. Work was always there, never ending, a constant stream of noise and data to be sifted through. Visits were rarer, particularly visits from anyone Merlin happened to care about. A flick of a switch locked the office door behind Harry. "Have a seat. You look terrible, but I'm not certain whether that's a brandy or a scotch sort of terrible. If you're here to ask me what the boy's been up to, he looks just fine on the street feeds."

Harry stopped, sighed, and let his head hang before he found himself a chair. "Wonderful." He pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing underneath the glasses. "The damnedest thing is that I should actually mean that. I still haven't heard a word from him. And he seems to be getting on well. That is better than I'd feared would happen to him, and I...." Harry broke their gaze to stare into an empty monitor. "He's so close. I've been hoping for more. When he was here...he seemed to want some kind of closure, and I think I might have wanted something like that myself."

"And you're taking this lull as a sign that that's been rejected. You knew that little could be hoped for regarding this. The fact that he's even trusted you the small amount that he has is unexpected. Or that he sought you out again. You can't hang your hopes on things returning to a semblance of what they were," Merlin chided. He rose and went to a nearby cabinet, plucking out a couple of glasses and a bottle. "It's out of your hands."

"I know," Harry sighed. "Rationally, it's all there. But then I think of how close he is and how he had all these unanswered questions...." Harry took the generously filled glass Merlin offered him and didn't hesitate to take a drink. "But maybe that was it. Maybe that was all he needed, and he realised that afterwards." His mouth wanted to pull into a bitter smile, but all it could do was frown. "I know I should be grateful for even that much," Harry added quietly.

"Harry..." Merlin paused, taking his friend in as he slumped in his chair, nursing the tumbler of spirits and barely holding back the pain Merlin knew was on the verge of bleeding out. "I doubt that was it. Adults have trouble merely having one last fling for closure. Children would find it even harder. I doubt he's done with you, but you can't expect it soon. He can only handle so much change at once, and he's likely to be overwhelmed at the moment. He may also not know whether he's allowed to contact you, or how safe it is. It's barely been a week. You have to be patient."

Harry managed a smile at that. Merlin being helpful was always a strangely warming experience. "You think so, or are you just trying to cheer me up?" Harry took another sip and watched his friend ponder the situation. "At least I have this much," Harry conceded. "If I never hear from him again...at least we got him out of there. At least I can give him the tools he deserved to have all along, whether he wants to see me or not." That had cemented in Harry's mind. He had permission now, and it did mean something to him that he could do that much for Eggsy. 

"I do truly think that. Eggsy is not the sort to fuck and run, if you'll forgive the expression," Merlin grimaced. He took a lengthy drink from his own glass. "The fact that he trusted you this much, much less tried to _seduce_ you to his own needs, says quite a lot. I'm sure he's feeling conflicted and overwhelmed, but that won't last forever. He's still young. His impatience and impulsiveness will draw on those emotions. I don't think he'll be more than a few weeks at most. He's not used to the particular sort of wholesomeness of the Wilsons. It will push him away."

Harry thought about it and nodded. "He might enjoy that wholesomeness for once," he said wryly, "but I admit I thought the same. He had a certain pride in where he came from, I remember. This new life is bound to chafe, beneficial as it might be. And that's another question we have to consider. Whether he ever calls me back or not, where can he go after the Wilsons? Could his home there become permanent? Will we have to search for a family who'd planned to adopt? That in itself could take a toll on him, even if we manage to keep him in the same schools and the same neighbourhood." Harry grimaced. "He must be thinking about all these things with even more uncertainty than I am."

"I know that neither of us is the sort to be comfortable without several backup plans, but you'll have to accept that we're not in control in this sphere. Eggsy is not as easily predictable as the usual marks. He may decide to stay there, or he may not. We'll only have more clarity as time passes, and once we see his input." Merlin glanced at Harry with more than a touch of sympathy. "Nothing is certain yet. We'll have to wait and see how the boy feels about everything."

Harry was nodding, but he was already thinking about what could be done if Eggsy was forced to go through a string of foster homes. "I'd once hoped that I could be his rock, the stable presence in his life that a parent would have otherwise been. I don't know if I'll ever be able to really let that go. But...I can recognize when that's not a good idea." Even if Harry started meddling again, giving Eggsy opportunities he wouldn't have gotten otherwise, there was a chance the boy would notice. He might be able to get away with one or two and make them really count, but.... Harry shook his head. "You're right. I know. For now, we wait. Just...keep the alcohol coming." Harry held out his glass. 

Merlin lifted the bottle and poured, but not without looking at Harry and gauging his level of intoxication and distress. "There are things that can be done that won't look like meddling, if we're careful and circumspect about it. I also don't think it will come to that. Harry, you're a field agent. You're skilled primarily in infiltrating situations, combat, and predicting outcomes in close quarters and reacting accordingly. You're also being clouded by emotion. My work requires a larger picture view, and studying the average patterns of people. Not necessarily their reactions in conversations, but their decisions and movements, and then planning out and executing surveillance accordingly. I would have guessed that Eggsy would have come to you once he was in the same place again. I think he will again. It's all a matter of time."

Harry caught Merlin's eye. His head lifted. His racing thoughts began to settle. "This is why we have handlers, I suppose." Harry trusted Merlin’s judgement like a second instinct. He sat back and took a smaller drink, appreciating that Merlin let him come here for reassurance. Harry may have been able to go through a thousand different scenarios in his head, but Merlin was right--he didn't have the right perspective, and he couldn't settle his mind alone. "Then we just have to make sure he remains safe and stable enough until he does reach out again." Harry sounded more certain, even to himself. 

Merlin crossed the room until he stood in front of Harry and bent. His fingers caught Harry's chin, turning him to face the other man, but Harry was a bit more certain now what lay between them. He sat still as Merlin drew them close, inches away and intent. "We will. You know I will. I know what he means to you, and perhaps you know what you mean to me. You're honouring your agreement with him, but I have no such agreement. I'm watching, and I will let you know if I think some interference is needed. Give him a bit more time, and he'll reach out again. Neither of you have closure, and while the Wilsons may be able to provide a number of needs, they will be missing a few dimensions that Eggsy will now find to be necessities. He will call you." 

Merlin let go of him and straightened, turning his attention to the half-full glass in one hand. "You're always welcome here, for any reason. Any reason at all. But I stand by my conviction. Adults are sometimes difficult to predict by virtue of diverse live experiences, but I think I have a good feel for Eggsy's mind. I don't think it will be more than two more weeks, at most, before he calls."

Harry exhaled slowly and let his eyes slip shut before he stood as well. A feeling of peace began to grow in his chest. Merlin's closeness, his intent focus, was so rare that Harry could still feel it. He didn't need to step closer to express his gratitude, nor his approval. "Thank you," Harry breathed. They stood like that and for the first time that week Harry appreciated who he was and who Merlin was. Neither of them were good men, per se, but they weren't going to let Eggsy go. 

Harry set his empty glass on the table and reached out to lay a hand on Merlin's shoulder. He squeezed and let it drop, smoothing over the material of Merlin's shirt as it went. They both needed this. 

"We'll see how this goes." Harry straightened his jacket, knowing he'd still look tired when he stepped back out into the hall, but it didn't matter. 

"We will," Merlin agreed. "But you're not alone in this. I don't doubt Eggsy will return. He won't find his current circumstances soothing or fulfilling. It's all a matter of patience as he tries to settle in and figures out what's lacking via the contrast of what is present."

Merlin pinned Harry with a look and then rose again, depositing his empty glass on his desk and pacing around toward the other side. "Let me know what you need. Or if you desire company later on."

"I will." Harry didn't know what to think about Merlin's conviction that Eggsy would return, but it felt good to have the man's reassurance nonetheless. They'd talk again soon. 

Harry left Merlin's office with a surer step than when he'd entered, and when he went home that night, he turned on the lights and thought of Eggsy in his house--at his dining table, in the space he'd used to curl up on the couch--and it didn't seem so terrible to know that the boy was so close. Eggsy was brave. He was stubborn, he could be frightened, he didn't always know what he wanted right away but when he figured it out, the boy pursued it, but above all that, Eggsy would be brave enough to call if he wanted to.

* * *

Another week stretched on, draining Harry of his reassurance and resurfacing his doubts. He began to think that perhaps everything really had been one last fling when the house's proximity alert gave a soft chime. Harry began to hope in spite of himself, bracing for disappointment when it turned out to be one more solicitor or donation-seeker. Harry moved quickly to his office nonetheless, bringing up the security feeds.

His heart just about stopped when he saw the diminutive figure waiting just outside his front door.

Harry rushed for the stairs before another thought crossed his mind. The vision of the boy turning around danced behind his eyes as he made it to the landing, only then thinking to stop and make sure he was presentable. He folded his hair back away from his eyes and smoothed over his cardigan. He was in casual wear that evening, but he could hardly care less. He just had to calm down. 

When the doorbell sounded, Harry waited a beat, took a breath, and straightened his back, and then opened the door. 

"Eggsy."

"That was quick." Eggsy took Harry in and, after a beat glanced around the outside of the doorway with a sour look. Unless Harry had been waiting next to the front door for days, he had to know Eggsy was coming, which meant more of those hated cameras. "You still got the place all rigged up, or did you get rid of everything when you didn't need to record me anymore? I wanted to see you, but I don't want you tapin' me no more."

Harry closed his mouth and gave a small shrug. "Never bother to turn them on anymore, except for the outside surveillance." Harry looked back into the house and then to Eggsy again. The boy's expression didn't soften, but Harry stepped back and widened the door. "There's nothing recording inside." 

Harry half expected Eggsy to turn away. Reassurance or no, he could hardly imagine the boy inside his house again. And what that would be like for Eggsy.... Harry hadn't expected him to show up here. He'd expected a call. A text. A request to meet somewhere else, maybe, but not the house. 

"You're gonna show me. I want you to show me, on your computer, that it's all turned off. I'm not comin' in unless you prove you're not gonna be recordin' me. I didn't want you to know I was comin' and get prepared." Eggsy crossed his arms stubbornly. The movement shifted the backpack he was carrying, which looked to be stuff far more full than usual. "I guess I lucked out that you weren't doin' easier work at the shop or somethin' or on vacation, but I kinda guessed you'd be here."

"You guessed right." Harry didn't want to voice how laughable the idea was of him going away on vacation while Eggsy was there in his neighbourhood, possibly waiting to see him. "I'll show you they're turned off." Harry pushed the door a little farther, hoping Eggsy wouldn't change his mind. He wanted to ask so many things. What was Eggsy doing here? Did he tell the Wilsons he was going out? Why hadn't he called Harry at all? But Harry locked them all down. He had to convince the boy that it was safe to come inside first. If he couldn't win that battle, the rest would never be answered. 

Eggsy ducked through and Harry felt like the entire house breathed with him as he inhaled and shut the front door behind them both. Eggsy was _there_. He was inside, standing in the entryway and looking up at Harry. The boy's suspicious look hadn't left, but he also hadn't turned and left Harry waiting in an empty doorway. Whatever Eggsy's motivations, he'd chosen to enter and give Harry a chance. 

Harry wouldn't squander the opportunity. Eggsy had been driven away the first time by deceit, lies, and a sense of danger and betrayal. Harry didn't doubt the boy would leave at the first sign that history was going to repeat itself.

"Upstairs." Harry gestured for Eggsy to follow him and heard the soft tread of the boy's trainers behind him as he climbed the stairs. A hundred memories nudged at the edges of his mind as they reached the second floor landing. How many times had they ascended that staircase together? Never with the presence of so much uncertainty hanging in the air. 

Harry led Eggsy into his office, the table lamp still lit. He didn't waste time. Eggsy followed him around the desk, watching Harry's every movement. He unlocked the computer and let Eggsy watch him bring up the surveillance system. "This is live, outside the front door. Motion activated. The rest of these screens would be filled if the system in the house was active." Harry gestured to a multitude of blank preview windows. It had been the truth. There had been no need to continue recording himself, alone, after Eggsy was gone. 

Eggsy squinted at the screen. There was always the possibility that Harry could have done something sneaky - programmed a key to deactivate the cameras at a stroke, perhaps - but the point of this visit was that Harry hadn't been warned that he was coming. He'd waited, wanting to catch the man off-guard and to see if the long uncertainty would give him hints about how Harry felt. It had worked. Eggsy had seen Harry in casual clothes many times before, but there were little hints of things - small creases in his clothing, a slight hint of dishevelment, the tension in Harry's body that wasn't quite adequately hidden.

"Right, then. So long as I'm here, they stay off. That's the deal."

Harry turned away from the monitor. "Okay." Eggsy hadn't taken off his backpack, or anything else. His eyes were still set and he didn't look like he was going to relax any time soon. Having the boy in this room was strange. Having him anywhere in the house was going to be strange, Harry knew, but his office especially. "Would you like to go downstairs?" Harry asked. He didn't realise he was fumbling for words until "Have you eaten?" left his mouth. It sounded like a non sequitur, but he wanted to make sure Eggsy was comfortable before they spoke. He was desperate for a few moments with nothing else in the way. 

"No, haven't yet. The Wilsons think I went off with friends. Took me a bit to convince them, 'specially as they haven't met any friends of mine. I'm just lucky a few of the blokes who used to live next to me didn't change their numbers. An' that it's safe to call 'em now." Eggsy shrugged. "I got a little bit 'fore I have to get back. They'll get worried if I'm out too late, an' I don't want 'em asking questions and figuring out I lied."

Harry nodded, feeling an unexpected twist in his chest at their time being cut short. What else had he expected, he didn't know. "Alright then. Let me make us something and you can say you had dinner at your friend's house." He stood and brushed his hand against Eggsy's arm, encouraging him to follow, even before Harry realised he'd done it. He let his hand drop and hoped Eggsy wouldn't take offence. He cleared his throat and put some distance between them to apologize. 

Eggsy raised a brow. "...I jumped your bones when you were beaten all to hell and I was still pissed at you, an' you're worried about a little tap on the arm? I ain't gonna bite your head off. I just don't-... I don't know how much to trust you anymore. _How_ to trust you. How d'you even rebuild somethin' like that?" Eggsy's mouth narrowed and he shuffled his feet. There was so much to say, and he couldn't figure out what the right words were. "It's like some big puzzle you can't ever work out. I gotta trust you to see if I can and should trust you, but I don't really, and it'd be hard to tell if you were doin' something untrustworthy. So I gotta _trust_ that you're not secretly doin' stuff and lyin'. It just circles round and round."

Harry gave a tight smile. "It does. You can't force it. Even if you desperately wanted to." Harry moved for the door and Eggsy followed. "So I'd rather not be presumptuous about my touch, for example." He let the boy follow him all the way down to the kitchen where Harry went to put the kettle on first. Strange as Eggsy's presence was, the moment the boy was in his dining room again Harry felt like the house wasn't so desolate. A cup of tea would do wonders to help that feeling along, he hoped. Questions danced in the back of his mind while he filled the kettle and took down the mugs, but Harry couldn't bring himself to voice them.

Eggsy watched. He must have felt the strangeness of it all, too, as there was an air of incredulity about him, like he couldn't quite believe he was back in this house either. Harry's routine in the kitchen was familiar even after so much time had passed. The boy leaned against the counter and looked around, not missing the little signs of change. Harry had missed him. The house wasn't dirty by any means, but there was more carelessness to the placement of things, like the owner of the house couldn't muster the energy to put forth the usual amount of effort or didn't anticipate any guests for some time.

Which would be accurate, if what Harry had originally told Eggsy was true - that Landon, now 'Merlin', was the only one Harry hosted besides Eggsy himself.

When the mugs were filled and Harry had put away the milk, he turned to glance at Eggsy. After a moment's decision, he held out the cup for the boy to take instead of leaving it on the counter. Their hands didn't touch, but Harry wasn't trying to avoid him. Harry went into the cupboard and took out a bread roll and butter and jam. He put a few slices into the toaster and then leaned against the counter much like Eggsy was doing. 

Finally Harry couldn't avoid it any longer. "So what did you come by to talk about today?"

"Just... I dunno. Stuff. I haven't seen you for a bit and we ain't ever... last time didn't really fix anything." Eggsy shrugged, but he didn't try to avoid Harry's gaze. "I'm still mad at you, but I also wanted to see you. The Wilsons are nice, but weird. They're different from everyone else I've known and I don't think I got much in common with them. It's hard to talk to them. Not that it ain't hard to talk to you, but we used to."

Harry stopped with the mug pressed against his lower lip. Half of him recalled Merlin's assessment of the situation, and it was hard to put that out of his mind when Eggsy sounded like he was suggesting the very same thing. Slowly, Harry took a sip before lowering his mug to the counter. He imagined sliding his hands over Eggsy's shoulders as he'd nearly done earlier, but instead he turned to butter the toast. 

"How are you liking the tutor?" Harry asked, finding a track of conversation that he really did want to hear about. Eggsy would have met the man at least twice now, and Harry had only heard that it had gone well from his side. 

"Good. I mean, it's a bit rough given I've been out for so long, but I told him I got bounced from so many places that I never got to finish the last grade I was in and it was hard to pay attention when I _was_ in school. So he asked me about the last stuff I remembered doing, and gave me a few tests to see how well I remembered. We're reviewin' a bit before he shows me the next stuff I missed out on." Eggsy raised his mug and took a sip. "The stuff is still boring, but a tutor is better'n school, and I don't gotta deal with people lookin' at me funny 'cause I'm too old to be in their class. And I guess I won't get stuck with shite jobs in the end, so that's good."

Harry found himself smiling a little. "No, you won't be." He took the toast and jam to the table and sat down, passing close to Eggsy as he went and gesturing to the seat across from him. "And the Wilsons, they're treating you well?" This was the part where he really did feel like he'd handed _his_ boy off to someone else, when all he could do was ask about his well-being after the fact. Harry didn't take his eyes off Eggsy even as he took a slice. 

Eggsy grabbed one of his own and bit in without hesitation, chewing while he picked his words carefully. "Hmmm. Yeah, I mean... weird, but okay. They're almost too nice and too fussy. It's like they think I've never had enough to eat, or anything of my own. They're like people on a telly show, not like _real_ people. They treat me a bit like I'm younger than I am, too, although I guess they don't know I was off takin' care of myself for a while."

"That's true. And they're new at being parents. But a lot of parents do fuss over their children and, well, let's say stay firmly in the role of a parent." Harry wasn't sure if his mouth was trying to draw into a scowl or a smile at that. He had thought the Wilsons would be a good choice out of the options they'd had, and it looked like that had been true, but compared to when he'd had Eggsy.... He sighed. "I suppose I shouldn't cast myself in the light of an ideal parent either, now should I?" He smiled a little more normally that time. 

"I liked being here. Before everything else, I mean. I liked all of it, and that didn't really change even after I figured out you tricked me, and lied, and all that other stuff." Eggsy's gaze lowered to his plate. He pushed the crumbs around aimlessly. "I just couldn't stay, after that last. Not just 'cause I thought you were gonna actually kill me, or lock me in the house like in the horror movies or somethin'. I figured I had no idea who you really were or what you were capable of doin', and I didn't know what to do about it and I couldn't ever fight you and win, so all I could do was run away."

Harry's mouth thinned. "We all need some degree of control over our own lives. Even someone as young as you. We don't always think of it that way with children because they have very little say in what they do, as you are finding out with the Wilsons. Your parents decide what you eat, when you go to sleep, where you go to school. They decide what's best for you, and you do it. But there are certain lines that I crossed that left you without the fundamental sense of personal safety." Harry looked down at his plate. "I'd never wanted you to feel that way, but it was the result of my actions and I knew that it could happen."

"You said you did it 'cause you thought that's the only way you'd get to have me. But you also said you thought you wouldn't get to have me for very long, right? That you thought I was gonna leave you or somethin', so..." Eggsy's throat tightened, and when he found his voice again it was strained. "How come you risked hurtin' me like that if you thought you were only gonna get a couple've years?"

"I was that desperate." Harry closed his eyes. "A few years with you would have been worth a lifetime. Nothing lasts forever. Even...when normal people fall in love. They change. The kind of love they share changes. I had hoped you would still love me, in a way, as you grew up, even if what was between us changed. If that had been possible, that would have been good for you. I'd have been someone you could turn to, someone stable in your life, even when you were off on your own discovering the world of a young adult. Instead of someone you feared."

Eggsy went quiet for a moment. He couldn't understand. Confusion and hurt knit his brow together. He was no longer a completely naive child, but neither was he fully an adult with an adult's understanding. Time passed differently for Eggsy, and he couldn't imagine those kinds of changes, or why Harry had been willing to hurt him in order to have something temporary. "...still love you, though," he mumbled, the words barely audible before he raised his mug and swallowed down whatever else he might have said.

Harry raised his eyes. Eggsy sat there across from him so miserably, shoulders hunched and head bent. Harry pushed aside his plate and rose from the table. He went around to Eggsy, who was still trying to save face, and put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Eggsy.... I still love you, too." Harry sank down to one knee. He lifted his hands to Eggsy's face, wanting to wrap the boy up in his arms. Their agreement the last time he'd seen Eggsy held fast in his thoughts though, and though Eggsy had indicated a touch may be acceptable, Harry would not initiate more contact than that. 

Eggsy's gaze darted sideways towards Harry, sad and more than a little haunted. Harry could feel the boy trembling slightly under his hand. "I mean... do you really though? I know you miss me. I could... see it, in the warehouse and afterwards. And now. And I can see it in your house, and what you said about keepin' all my stuff. But I don't know if you miss _me_ , or just- ...just miss fuckin' me." Eggsy's mouth twisted with emotion and he ducked his head again.

Harry didn't take his hands away. "Why do you think that I haven't grown that attached to you after all this time? Because it started out with me simply wanting to fuck you? That didn't last long, Eggsy. I became infatuated fairly quickly. I'd never have wanted you to live with me if I hadn't been. Or is it because I think you'll want to go out and explore the world and all the other people in it someday? Leave the nest, as it were? Is it my talk of love changing that makes you doubt it's real?"

"I don't think I'll not want you anymore, but... I don't know if you really wanted me. Or want me. Or if anyone does. Or even if maybe you do now, you're tellin' me that you won't like me once I get older, so you'd kick me out if I'd stayed long enough to get bigger." Tears were starting to roll down the boy's cheeks at that point. "I wanted to hate you and not love you anymore, and I _couldn't_. I don't know what to do if you don't really love me, or if you only love me so long as I'm little and you're not supposed to have me. Some people do that. I met a bunch of people on the street who only wanted stuff they couldn't have, and stopped wanting it once they'd gotten it."

Harry pulled Eggsy into his arms. He didn't care anymore, he just did it. He felt Eggsy's small body trembling against his chest. He stroked his fingers through the back of Eggsy's hair. "I don't know what will happen when you're older," Harry said softly, "but I do know that I will always love you." One way or another, he knew he would. That had been clear to him for a long time now. He pulled back when he heard another sniffle and looked at Eggsy. The boy looked so forlorn and Harry wished he could show Eggsy, in some way, what he felt. But Eggsy needed something to cling to and again, he didn't trust in Harry. 

What happened next was so fast that Harry wouldn't have had much time to react under normal circumstances, much less ones so fraught with emotion. He shouldn't have been surprised, perhaps, when one moment Eggsy was looking up at him like he was about to cry, and the next moment his mouth was pressed demandingly against Harry's. 

Eggsy associated love with sex. Harry had taught him that, in a way. He couldn't believe and process Harry's words, and so he sought out the reassurance and sense of being loved in the way he thought would best fulfil that.

It took a second, but Harry melted into it. His fingers gripped at the short strands of Eggsy's hair. They didn't part for a long time, but when they did, Harry panted quietly. "Come." Harry gathered Eggsy into his arms and lifted him out of the chair. "Sit with me." He brought the boy into the living room and sat down on the couch, Eggsy half in his lap. If Eggsy needed intimacy, Harry could give him that much, although he hesitated to take things further as they had before. "The only way you'll believe me is with time," Harry admitted. 

Eggsy tucked himself close, one hand balled in Harry's shirt. Eggsy himself likely didn't know his own mind or why he felt prompted as he did, judging from the boy's conflicted expression. He didn't move away, though. "We don't got much time, though. The Wilson's might wanna adopt me eventually. I'll get older. I felt awful the whole time I was off living on my own. About a lot of things, and I was pissed at you and still am, but I don't want to feel so _bad_ anymore, _all the time_."

Harry held on a little tighter. Eggsy wanted to be with him because he knew Harry could love him now and he feared missing that chance. He wanted to be with Harry because he knew Harry could make him happy. _'Stay with me. I'll love you.'_ was on the tip of Harry's tongue and it twisted his insides. 

It was true. He wanted Eggsy back. Just as Merlin had said. Just as Eggsy had known, and feared. Just as he'd dared not admit to over these last weeks. He did want Eggsy back and somehow the threat of that being an impossibility didn't hold him back from thinking about it any longer. 

"If you believed that I could love you, would you stay with me?" Harry whispered. 

"Maybe," Eggsy whispered back. So much stood between them. Love wouldn't entirely dissolve the boy's anger over what Harry had done, or heal all the damage. People could love and still be entirely untrustworthy. Eggsy might always be bitter over what had happened to his mother, if not the pain and fear he'd endured. "I don't know. I'm still mad at you. But maybe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting on this chapter, and come join us again this Saturday (5/28) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	43. Chapter 43

Harry nodded, his chin rubbing against Eggsy's shoulder. He pulled back a little, still rubbing his fingers over the back of Eggsy's neck. "Would you go to the opera with me this Saturday?" Harry knew it was one of those things Eggsy would be horribly out of place in, but Eggsy had gone to many of those sorts of things when he'd been living with Harry. It was bound to throw him off a little, which was what Harry wanted. Going to the opera wouldn't amount to Eggsy believing Harry would love him when he grew up, but it was something. 

"I-... yeah, sure, I guess. I dunno what I'm gonna tell the Wilsons, though. If I lie too much about friends, they're gonna know where they live, meet them and their parents, that sorta thing. Not 'cause they're suspicious, but 'cause they're so nice." Eggsy didn't trust what Harry said yet, but he did trust that Harry was not going to harm or kidnap him like he'd once feared. Agreeing to go somewhere with Harry was no longer off the table, but Eggsy knew it might entail digging up painful memories all over again.

"Tell them I'm taking you. I am supposed to be checking in on you after all, as your case worker. I'll have you for a few hours, make sure everything is ok at home, and bring you on a short outing for fun. Just to see a familiar face." Harry offered up his usual pleasant smile, the one that might mean he was just being polite or he might be lying through his teeth. If their story were to be believed, then Harry really would have been the only consistent person Eggsy had known for a few years now, even if Harry was not supposed to be his guardian. 

"You think that'll work? I thought social workers normally just visit people at home and talk to them there." The Wilsons were so good-natured they might accept it, though. Once Eggsy thought about it, it seemed more likely. If they thought Harry was the one constant Eggsy had had, they wouldn't want to deny him that bit of stability or cut him off from a sense of safety. They also might be wary of how such a thing might look to the case worker, who could decide to place Eggsy somewhere else if the situation appeared worrisome.

"Normally they do, but it's not unheard of for children they've known a long time. I doubt the Wilsons will read more into it so long as everything looks proper." Harry relaxed a little, letting his arms fall around Eggsy's waist, still holding him close. His weight on Harry's lap had been missed. "Whenever you want to see me, we'll work something out." Harry didn't want that to be the reason Eggsy stayed away. Even tonight he'd said he had to be back soon and that he couldn't trust the ruse of going to his friends' would last forever.

"Even if I end up deciding I want to see you a lot?" Eggsy ventured. He didn't want to give Harry expectations, but neither did he want to pretend indifference and stay away when he really needed something more. Time together, or answers. Eggsy shifted closer, enjoying the feel of being held close and wanted, and knowing just how the movement would affect Harry. He'd been innocent the first time. This time, he intended to be the one in control.

"Yes, even if you want to see me a lot." Harry sighed softly at Eggsy's shifting. "You know how well I can manufacture excuses to get you out of the flat." Harry looked down, enjoying the way Eggsy had his head tucked under Harry's chin and the way he was trying to be held even closer. Harry had feared that after what they'd done last time, Eggsy’s absence might have been a sign he regretted it. If Eggsy had any moments of doubt, they clearly hadn't lasted this long. Harry rubbed his back, trying to comfort him without being overtly sexual. 

"I brought spare clothes," Eggsy murmured, and something clicked in Harry's mind. Eggsy's backpack was stuffed full of extra clothing. Clothing that wouldn't leave him coming back smelling of sex, something that his foster parents would surely notice and would put lie to the fiction about visiting friends. "I thought... um, maybe. 'Cause it's been a while, 'cause I waited. That you'd say yes."

Harry closed his eyes. Already, his heart beat picked up and he felt prickles of interest in his cock, which Eggsy had pressed his weight against. "They're going to notice you've changed clothes," Harry murmured. He thought of all the ways this could go wrong, all the ways Eggsy might feel worse having sex with Harry and then having to leave. Harry wouldn't be able to wrap him up in his arms all night after. He wouldn't be able to reassure Eggsy he'd be there in the morning, and Eggsy was going to go back to the Wilsons' with all those doubts still in his mind. But instead, that was the first thing out of Harry's mouth. 

"I'll tell 'em we went to a skate park. They know I'm interested in skating. I'll say I got all gross and sweaty, and brought a change of clothes for after the showers." Eggsy leaned in close enough that his breath was on Harry's neck. He hadn't missed the twitch underneath him. He might have his doubts about Harry's love, but he had no doubts about Harry's lust.

Harry's breath came out shaky. "Alright." He didn't put up a fight at all. Eggsy knew he wouldn't be able to, and deep down, so did Harry. He knew that conventional wisdom would say that he should put a stop to this until Eggsy was secure in Harry's motives, but he wanted this. He'd missed Eggsy. Terribly. And he feared that turning the boy away would only hurt him further. 

Harry brought his hand up to stroke against Eggsy's cheek, drawing him to look at Harry before Harry lifted him up a little so Eggsy's legs could fit around his waist. Harry kissed him and remembered why he'd missed this so much. 

Eggsy stayed there for a moment, lips pressed together and basking in the closeness, before he drew back. "I don't wanna do this down here. I wanna go upstairs," he whispered. The both knew how rough that might be. The last time had been in a place strange to Eggsy, with no previous emotional attachments or associations to the room. All of Harry's house was laden with meaning and memories, none more so than the bedroom.

Harry searched his face, but Eggsy looked sure. "Ok." He lifted the boy into his arms and climbed up from the couch. A smile broke out across Harry's face when Eggsy wrapped his legs around his waist to secure himself there. Harry had forgotten how good it felt to really have Eggsy in his arms like this. He'd always liked picking Eggsy up and carrying him around. Bedroom or no, this was nice. Harry leaned in and nuzzled his nose against Eggsy's neck and up to his cheek, giving him little kisses along the way before he headed for the stairs. 

Eggsy knew what he was doing. He'd planned for it, as evidenced by his pack and his strategic wait to throw Harry off. He might not be certain regarding Harry's feelings about him, but he was certain about the older man's feelings about his body. He also had his own needs that couldn't be met anywhere else, mostly because he didn't trust anyone else to get that physically close. Eggsy knew he could trust Harry to be careful and take care of him and give him whatever he wanted. Right then, Eggsy wanted to feel wanted. He wanted release and the warmth that would fill him afterwards.

When they reached Harry's room, Eggsy's eyes darted all around. Harry hadn't changed it much, if at all. The only things missing were Eggsy's clothes and the games he used to leave strewn about, not caring enough to keep them in 'his' room since they never had guests over anyhow. The room was still beautifully furnished and tasteful, yet untidy. 

Harry turned with Eggsy in his arms, refraining from shutting the door behind them and placing Eggsy down on the bed. Harry climbed up with him, pushing pillows out of the way and toeing off his slippers. 

Eggsy didn't hesitate in stripping off his clothing. One after another, each garment hit the floor beside the bed until Eggsy was all bare skin, his own interest rigid against his stomach. Eggsy hadn't thought the settings would have as much of an impact as they did. Everything was familiar, even down to the give of the mattress underneath him. The boy felt like he'd been transported backwards in time.

Harry went about it slower. His cardigan came off first, but then he stopped to run his hands over Eggsy, admiring the boy's soft flesh with kisses and strokes. Harry didn't touch his cock though. He'd always liked to keep Eggsy on edge, but this time it wasn't about that. Harry wanted to enjoy this like they had all the time in the world because he wanted Eggsy to enjoy it that way, too. But Eggsy was impatient and Harry soon had to work on his own clothes lest they be stripped from him by a pair of small, determined hands. Which wasn't so bad, really, but he didn't want to make Eggsy do all the work. 

When they were both bare, Harry crawled up next to Eggsy and drew him into his arms again, letting Eggsy feel his length pressed between them and rubbing against Eggsy's own, smaller one. 

Eggsy gave a contented sigh and sank into Harry's arms. He felt safe with this much. Harry's body and scent was familiar and far more associated with safety and pleasure than the memories of terror, being stalked through the train yard and surviving in hiding on the streets. The only thing different now was that Eggsy knew Harry wasn't as invincible as he'd seemed back then. He'd saved this man's life. He'd seen him broken and completely at his mercy. Eggsy was no longer completely blinded by how much he'd idolized Harry, but even with that layer stripped away, Harry had maintained his appeal.

Harry trailed his fingers up Eggsy's spine. "You look so content," he murmured, and Eggsy did. Harry hadn't seen his eyes that untroubled in...a long time. "What are you thinking about?" He felt like he could ask now that Eggsy's head was in a better place. Harry wanted to keep it there just as much as he wanted to keep Eggsy in his bed. He'd keep him all night if Eggsy would let him. He barely cared whether the Wilsons would worry or not. 

"That I feel better like this. And I feel better after... y'know, I saved you. I didn't have to, but I wanted to, and you're not..." Eggsy sighed and closed his eyes. Harry's fingers continued to stroke up and down over each knob of bone, derailing his thoughts with a tingle of pleasure. "I had been thinking about you like you were some unbeatable monster. It actually scared me, at the time, to see you like that. Now I like remembering it, in a way, 'cause it means you're just a person. It made you less scary, I guess."

"Hm, my grandeur has faded a bit I see. But that was perhaps too much grandeur for any one person to have in the first place." Harry smiled, his tone teasing although it felt like he was only teasing himself. "I'd much prefer that I didn't scare you." Harry leaned in and kissed Eggsy again. He'd missed the sweet, soft darting of Eggsy's little tongue and the way they'd play sometimes in their kisses. He found that it wasn't hard to draw Eggsy into that again, not when they were both feeling so light for once. 

The sun was dipping below the horizon and the thin shade of curtains were drawn, but it still filtered in. Eggsy looked beautiful awash in golden red hues lighting up his eyes and making his hair look darker, laying in Harry's bed. 

"I don't want you scarin' me either. I like you better when you don't." Eggsy took the initiative for once, drawing Harry down to one side and trailing kisses up his neck. He didn't want to hurry, even though he knew he only had a limited amount of time. "It doesn't scare me anymore, y'know. That you've killed people, although don't know if I really want to know too much about it. But that doesn't scare me no more."

Harry turned his head in surprise. He caught Eggsy and made him look back. "Really?" 

Apart from everything Harry had done to Eggsy, he feared the boy would never quite be able to get around that detail. That Harry was capable, and willing, to turn off his conscience at times. Eggsy had feared at first that Harry was capable of doing that with him, and Harry didn't know if he'd ever be able to convince Eggsy otherwise. 

"I thought about it a bit, and you only seem to have done it when you had a real reason to. I don't know what reason," Eggsy clarified. "But somethin', otherwise you might've killed my mum instead of just messin' stuff up so I couldn't be with her anymore. Or got rid of me if you thought I was gonna grass you out about fuckin' kids. You didn't have to be nice to me or anyone at all. You could've just done anything you wanted. My dad was a soldier before he tried to become a spy, an' he probably killed people too and nobody thought anything weird about it. I don't know what to think about it yet, but I don't think you're gonna hurt me anymore."

Harry nodded carefully. "That's a very astute assessment. I've had my reasons, but I had never thought of hurting your mother physically, nor you." Harry didn't mention that some of his reasons were simply Merlin, but that was a conversation for another time. "I don't ever want to hurt you." Harry sneaked an arm beneath Eggsy and drew him closer. "I'd like to keep you here and happy, always if I could." 

Those words were so familiar. They'd been spoken in this room dozens of times before when Eggsy was last there in Harry’s bed to hear them. Harry had meant them then. He meant them now, and so they slipped so easily off his tongue. 

Eggsy regarded him intently, but not with conviction. He believed Harry regarding his capacity to harm him, or else he wouldn't be there at all, but he didn't know what to believe about the future. "Just make me happy here now," he finally murmured, settling back against the pillows. Eggsy didn't know about what was to come, but he knew what he wanted right then. He wanted sex - what he remembered when he lived with Harry, and the taste he'd had with their brief reunion. Harry hadn't been the only one tormented by the separation, or the wait after he was placed with the Wilsons.

Harry's smile softened. "I can do that." He leaned in to press another kiss to Eggsy's mouth before he shifted over the boy. Not fully, just to get an arm on the other side of him so Harry could work his way down Eggsy's neck. He let that hand wander lower, teasing along Eggsy's stomach. Again Harry had to marvel at how truly amazing it was to find himself in this position. At times he found himself understanding Eggsy's desire to be close to him, knowing that the feelings he'd cultivated in the boy had been so strong they'd likely always be there, in some form, but at other times he could barely believe that Eggsy still wanted him enough to come back and ask for this, even for a night. 

But he did. Enough to plan for it, strategizing exactly how to execute it. None of this had to do with Harry's wants, but Eggsy's. Eggsy hadn't come here and wasn't doing this to please Harry. He'd done it because he wanted this, enough to risk his relationship with his foster parents and possible rejection when he showed up with a pack of clothes. Eggsy had been adamant about the fact that nothing would happen going forward without his permission, and despite the finality suggested by that statement, he'd asked for sex. Even now, he was squirming into Harry's touch, not away from him.

Harry didn't find it difficult to comply. He let his tongue stroke over Eggsy's nipple, still barely even a bud, and grazed his teeth over the boy's ribs as though he were going to bite. The bite never came, but Harry's open palm sliding over his little cock did. Eggsy gasped at that and Harry lifted himself up again to enjoy the look on the boy's face. He paused only long enough to reach into the drawer of the night stand and find the bottle of lube, adding a small amount to his palm before he went right back to that motion again. Harry's own cock pressed eagerly against Eggsy's leg, but he ignored it for the moment. 

Eggsy had wanted exactly this. The rhythm of it, one sensation after another, a tease of danger without it ever becoming reality. He could be overwhelmed and pinned down by someone much bigger and stronger than him and not worry about getting hurt, because Harry would take care of him. Eggsy remembered how Harry had known all sorts of things to suggest, coaxing Eggsy slowly into new ideas and sensations that he hadn't found a way to live without. Harry's teeth grazed over his ribs and a bit lower, down the groove to one side of his hip, and Eggsy gasped.

Harry laughed in delight, more a puff of air against Eggsy's skin than anything audible. He closed his mouth over Eggsy's upper thigh, letting his teeth press into the flesh without any real pain as he continued to stroke. When he released his hold, he smiled. "You once asked why I liked nibbling on you so much. Suggested I might have some subconscious desire to eat you. You don't know how delectable you are." Harry glanced up at Eggsy with the corners of his mouth curling. 

"Like how?" Eggsy laughed, and Harry's heart skipped a beat at the sound of it. That, and at the sight of the boy looking down at him, flushed and smiling. "Are you sayin' you like seein' me jump, or that I taste funny? 'Cause you know, there's a way to fix the last bit. I heard about some people puttin' honey and stuff on their girlfriends and lickin' that off."

It was Harry's turn to laugh at that. "The things you've been learning while you've been away." He nipped at Eggsy's thigh in a playful manner of emphasizing the point. "I like the way you taste. I don't think you need any honey, although if you'd like to try it, I wouldn't be averse." Finally Harry moved over, swiping his tongue against the base of Eggsy's erection to secure the boy's attention, but he wasn't done yet. "What else have you heard while you were away?" Harry asked, pointedly teasing his tongue over the head of Eggsy's cock but not taking it into his mouth. 

"Um." Eggsy's voice wavered as he looked down, vaguely hypnotized by the sight and sensation of Harry's mouth and tongue against his cock. "L-lots, I guess. Lots of the people I was with, they were pretty filthy-mouthed and talked a lot. Mostly about girls, but there were girls too who'd talk about boys. Edgin' and teabags an' all kinds of stuff. I kept out of it 'cause they thought I was too young, though they kept teasin' me about when I was gonna get a bird."

Harry harrumphed. "What a wretched assumption." He hadn't expected to feel the bite of territorial inclinations, but the thought of his Eggsy being pushed towards girls rankled Harry. "I can think of a good many things you'd enjoy more than that, I'm sure." Harry stopped himself before declaring he was one of them, aware that he was starting to sound jealous. "I suppose it's nice to see you've expanded your vocabulary though. And have had some time to think about the things you want most...." Harry dipped his head to lick at Eggsy's cock again, this time in more deliberate motions. 

Eggsy shot him an incredulous look and, after a moment, the boy started to laugh. Small fingers gripped the older man's hair and stopped Harry in mid-motion. "Really? Really. Don't think I didn't just see you get all worked up. You bothered by thinkin' I might like girls too? Or are you thinkin' that you can beat any bloke I might eye, but birds are another story you can't compete with?"

"I'd rather not think about it at all," Harry grimaced. Apparently he wasn't getting out of that so easily. He knew why the thought of it disturbed him. It had the potential to hold an allure of normalcy Eggsy had never had before. An illusion of normalcy, perhaps, but normalcy all the same. It was something Harry couldn't touch, that Harry would never be. "You came to the conclusion you were gay very young. It's not out of the question you might explore someday," Harry mumbled. 

"Maybe, but not bloody likely," Eggsy laughed, immensely amused by Harry's apparent jealousy and insecurity. "I've seen quite a bit now, and even though people thought I was too young for some things, they didn't think I was too young to lend me some of their mags and such. I'm pretty sure I'm gay, Harry. Only likin' pictures and videos of men, or lookin' at cocks, is a bit of a clue. You don't gotta be worryin' about a girl stealin' me away."

Harry dropped his forehead onto Eggsy's thigh. "Ok, ok, don't laugh too hard now. Cheeky little...." He nipped again, but this time was softly laughing along, himself. He looked up and found Eggsy looking back, grinning wide with unfettered delight at Harry's predicament, utterly happy in the moment, and Harry couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed. Seeing such a look on Eggsy's face lifted his spirits beyond what he'd imagined, so much so that Harry was grinning back, unable to help it. He lifted himself up and met the boy's mouth in retaliation, kissing him deeply, wanting to take that grin for himself and cherish it. 

Eggsy's tongue slipped into Harry's mouth, bold as could be. Such was the main change of their time apart, beyond Eggsy growing a bit. The boy was more confident. He knew he could take care of himself, and he'd spent time thinking about what he wanted. He didn't have a fully mature mind by any means, and the boyish insecurities and need for affection still remained, but Eggsy wasn't as shy as he'd been. He pulled at Harry in encouragement and slid against him. 

Harry half moaned, half laughed into their kiss. Eggsy's eagerness was a treat, in whatever way he chose to show it. So Harry reached for the bottle of lube again and dripped a good amount across his fingers, his smile curling this time as he drew back down to Eggsy's hips again. He rubbed his fingers all over, wherever his mouth wasn't as Harry took Eggsy in finally, making the boy arch his back. He paid careful attention to rubbing the spot just behind Eggsy's balls in the slow rhythm he set with his tongue for a while before dipping lower to press against the puckered muscle of Eggsy's entrance. Harry made sure not to stop glancing up at the boy, however. As light as the mood had become, he still needed to make sure Eggsy didn't have any second thoughts along the way. 

Wanton would have been the apt word to use. Gone was all the sorrow and hesitant, distrustful air that had laid between them in the dining room. Eggsy might not yet be sure how far he trusted Harry, or wanted him to be an intimate part of his future, but he assuredly wanted this. The boy's eyes were closed and his lips were parted in a groan, and his cock never softened on Harry's tongue. Eggsy hardened, actually, as soon as the first finger slipped into him, tilting his hips up against Harry's mouth.

Harry groaned. He wanted to reward Eggsy with more, but he kept his movements slow. He knew well not to hurt the boy and that ultimately, Eggsy would enjoy it more that way no matter how eager he was. So Harry's finger worked its way inside Eggsy inch by inch. With lots of lube easing the way, Eggsy opened up for him like his body had already been expecting this. And Harry supposed it had. Eggsy never did forget how to open up for him, like muscle memory. The thought made his cock ache, pressed against the mattress. 

Harry worked the rhythm up faster until he was rubbing Eggsy's sweet spot and adding another finger. 

Eggsy pressed himself downwards and fucked himself on Harry's fingers. He'd moved against Harry before, of course, but never quite so boldly. The boy was biting his lower lip, but he didn't look like he was in pain - quite the opposite, in fact. Harry's fingers slid in easily, and when Harry crooked them upwards for a moment of gentle pressure Eggsy moaned between his teeth. Small hands came down and rested on Harry's shoulders, part encouragement and partly to anchor himself.

Harry lifted his head, letting Eggsy's cock rest on his tongue as the boy pushed himself down again and again. It made for quite a sight, he was sure, but mostly he didn't want Eggsy to come too quickly. He sucked again with the addition of a third finger and then did the same, letting Eggsy watch his cock sitting on Harry's tongue but unable to do much to get more friction there. Harry's fingers, however, were doing enough by the way the boy looked. He'd known Eggsy to be ready very quickly in the past, as soon as he'd opened up to the whole practise of sex, and it seemed that hadn't changed much. 

"Harry, _'cmon_ ," Eggsy rasped. The sound was odd for one so young, at least to anyone else but Harry. Eggsy looked down at Harry with heavy eyes, and his cock twitched in Harry's mouth. The sight crystallized in Harry's memory: Eggsy back in his bed, in his house, ready and willing and looking back at him with affection instead of fear. "I waited weeks for this. I want you, not just a couple've fingers."

Harry pulled his head back and kissed the tip of Eggsy's little cock, the pinkness of it bright against his mouth. "Perhaps you won't stay away so long next time," Harry murmured, feeling the weight of that sentence even though he'd meant it to be teasing. He slipped his fingers free and leaned up to kiss Eggsy while he smoothed the lube over his own cock. He could see Eggsy's eyelashes flutter, so close they were like that, and watch the boy glance down at him. The sight of it had intimidated Eggsy once, but now there was only eager expectation in his gaze. It made Harry's cock twitch. If he could purr, he would have. He hummed instead, pressing Eggsy down to make sure he stayed, even though Harry really didn't have to, and positioning himself between the boy's legs as they spread for him. 

Eggsy flushed, unable to look away. Harry couldn't have known how difficult it had been to make himself stay away, to wait, letting enough time pass that Eggsy had been certain the older man would be thrown off balance. Desperate. He'd expected it to be easier to resist showing his own want. He should have known should have remembered that Harry had practice and accumulated patience. The man had stalked him for years, after all, slowly luring him in. A few weeks might make Harry jump at the opportunity, but it wouldn't make him rush or pressed into easy compliance. "Yeah? We'll see about that."

Harry looked up, meeting Eggsy's eyes and not letting them go. His only answer was to press into Eggsy, letting the boy feel every inch of it. And Harry, too. He couldn't do anything but savour it, sinking inside inch by inch, feeling Eggsy quiver around him, and sear this moment into his mind. He really didn't know how many moments like this he'd have left if Eggsy should ever decide not to come back. When he was deep enough, he gathered Eggsy into his arms, stroking down his back and feeling for any tension in his body. The wait had made Harry even more careful. 

Eggsy clung to him and breathed out slowly. Things still burned slightly at the beginning even when Harry was careful, but it wasn't a feeling Eggsy minded anymore. It was familiar, and it had been missed. It made him all the more aware of Harry inside him and how they fit together so perfectly, interlocked all neat and tight like pieces of a puzzle. Harry knew his body, and his likes. It made it all the more unfair that Eggsy felt like he hardly knew the man at all, given that he wasn't sure where Harry's persona ended and Harry himself began. "...slow this time, ok?"

"Ok." Harry bent his head and kissed the shell of Eggsy's ear. When he felt Eggsy was ready, he pulled back a little and then sank in again. Lube eased the way, but Eggsy was very tight. His body seemed to want to hold Harry inside him. It made Harry pant against his hair as he moved into a rhythm, slow as Eggsy had asked for, but savouring every thrust and every inch of flesh giving under him. Eggsy was holding onto him like Harry might go if he didn't, and though there was no chance Harry would do such a thing, the boy's small fingers digging into his skin felt very nice. 

The slow slide reminded Eggsy more of their first times together - Harry taking as long as he felt Eggsy needed, careful as if Eggsy might break. Instead of the hot, frantic coupling and the angle that created sparks of light behind his closed eyelids, Eggsy felt every inch of Harry, in and out, and the soft heat of him when he sank in completely and they rested together just for a moment. Eggsy clutched at him harder until he was certain he was leaving little half-moon marks in Harry's back from where his nails bit into the skin.

Harry nuzzled against Eggsy's cheek, leaving him kisses with every slow slide until he reached the boy's mouth. Eggsy responded just like he'd done years ago, although with considerably less nervousness. Harry brushed strands of hair away from his temple and watched him, just because he could. He'd never get enough of this. Eggsy still looked like a vision, with cheeks flushed and mouth reddened, bottom lip hanging open slightly, his small chest drawing in deep breaths and his slender arms up around Harry's shoulders. His skin was creamy smooth but reddened at his collar and all the way up to his face at the effort it took to take Harry in. He was beautiful. And he was in Harry's arms, underneath him. He was still Harry's. 

Eggsy felt his chest tighten at the way Harry was looking at him. He'd always been certain of Harry's lust, but it was moments like this that gave him shards of hope that perhaps Harry wasn't lying about loving him. It could have been an act, a warm gentleness specifically contrived to draw him in and make him want Harry like this again and again. Eggsy knew it was a possibility, but it wasn't one that he wanted to be true.

He wanted it all to not have been a lie. He wanted Harry to have been telling the truth, that most of their time together had been him, and that he felt something more than the desire for a kept catamite in his home and bed.

Harry brushed his thumb against the corner of Eggsy's eye. There were no tears, but Harry could see what he was feeling. It was showing on his face and in the way he clutched at Harry so hard. 

"I love you," Harry whispered like he was telling a secret. His other hand stroked down Eggsy's cheek, over his neck, just petting Eggsy as he rocked into him. Harry didn't break his gaze, not even to kiss Eggsy again, although they were almost so close that it was hard to focus on anything other than one part of Eggsy at a time. The boy's eyelashes fluttered. His nose pressed against Harry's cheek as he moved his head. Harry wouldn't have rather been anywhere else in the world. 

Eggsy's eyes finally shut. Between the thoughts and emotions roiling within him and Harry looking at him like that, slowly fucking him into the mattress, it was all too much. He could pretend this was just a fling, a bit of relief by taking advantage of Harry and what the man owed him, when things were quick and frantic. At that moment there was nowhere to hide from what he wanted. What he had tried to stop thinking about. "...jus' want you back again," Eggsy whispered. He couldn't, not with the rift between them right then, all of his doubts and fears and the anger that filled him whenever he remembered the lies and manipulation and hurt Harry had caused.

But he wanted. The rest of that didn't change the fact, and all the time that had passed since he'd fled this house hadn't dulled that want either.

Harry did kiss him then. "I'm here," Harry whispered, wanting Eggsy not only to hear it, but to believe it. Hearing it, for now, would be enough though. Eggsy's fears hadn't been misplaced. Even Harry couldn't predict the future, but he knew he loved Eggsy. He let his arms wrap around Eggsy again, holding him closer and letting his weight bring them together, just making sure not to suffocate the boy. Harry kissed him all over, the pace of his hips still slow and sweet, and began to wish this moment would draw out forever.

It was too soon for Eggsy to really believe him. If their relationship healed it all, it would be slow. Patience and care would be required, on Harry's part most especially. The task seemed insurmountable, but perhaps not impossible. Impossible had been the idea that Eggsy would seek him out again, much less ask to resume an intimate relationship and express a desire to be close again. 

Eggsy didn't speak again, but he didn't have to. His body spoke for him, pressing up against Harry, clinging and twining around the older man, returning his kisses and spreading wide to welcome him in. 

Harry's pace grew faster by increments. He couldn't help it, but he reached down between them to palm and grasp Eggsy's cock and keep him just as on edge as Harry was feeling. The boy squirmed against him, pushing back while Harry pushed forward. He'd go with whatever pace Harry used in the end, but Harry did his best to keep to Eggsy's request. His body strained to keep itself in check and having Eggsy so willing and warm and open underneath him all the while was very hard to do. Harry bent and buried his face between the boy's neck and shoulder to hold on. 

It was Eggsy's voice that broke him. After being so quiet, Harry's thrusts and the stroke of his hand finally began to pull small cries and moans out of the boy. Sounds that Harry hadn't thought he'd ever hear in his bedroom again, which had haunted his memories. Eggsy’s voice fractured his restraint just a bit more, causing his hips to stutter forward. Rather than offer reproach, Eggsy moaned in response and held onto Harry tighter.

Harry fell into the quickened rhythm, chasing his climax and squeezing Eggsy a little tighter and a little faster. Harry opened his mouth and let his teeth scrape against the boy's neck as he came. He never bit down, just hovered there with his hips working, losing their rhythm and then pressing Eggsy down in one last push before they stilled. Harry stayed like that, breathing through his nose and then pressing a kiss to Eggsy's neck. It was long moments before he pulled back a little to kiss Eggsy properly. 

Eggsy was still stiff against his hand, tilting his hips upwards against Harry's palm while he kissed Harry back. Harry complied, and he didn't have to think to remember exactly what the boy liked - how much pressure and when, the twist of a wrist now and then to add a bit of unpredictability, where and when to trace a finger over the sensitive tip. Eggsy gasped into Harry's mouth and shuddered, and Harry felt the small cock in his hand twitch in climax.

His arm tightened around Eggsy, holding the boy, cherishing that release. He had memories of dozens before this, but they were so far away. 

Harry broke the kiss to let Eggsy breathe as much as he needed to, but didn't go far. He wanted to stay this close to Eggsy for a long time. Harry shifted a little, pulling out when Eggsy wasn't too sensitive anymore and laying his weight down next to Eggsy’s small body. He wrapped both his arms around the boy then, feeling his chest rising and falling with breaths he was trying to calm. 

The sun had gone down by then, but Eggsy still looked as beautiful in the lamp light and the last remaining hues from behind the curtains. Harry couldn't resist stroking his hair and admiring him.  
When Eggsy finally surfaced from the haze of pleasure, however, after a few seconds he noticed the darkness behind the curtains. "...shite. Harry, what time is it? I-... I lost track. I don't wanna be too late back or-" Worry suffused Eggsy's features. He knew enough to know that the smell of sex clung to their skin. He was going to have to clean up and change clothing before he could head back to the Wilsons' place.

"Not too late yet, I should think," Harry reassured. The moment was broken, so with a small sigh, he lifted himself onto one elbow. Eggsy was already pulling himself up and searching for his clothes, and Harry let his hand trail down the boy's back until he drew out of reach. Harry looked at the clock. "If we hurry, you'll make it back with only minor concern from the Wilsons." He stood from the bed and reached for his shorts, tugging them on as he went to ready the shower. If Eggsy was going to give them a story about being too sweaty to stay in the same clothes, it wouldn't be odd that he'd shower as well. 

Harry heard footsteps as Eggsy went downstairs, exchanging shed clothing for the fresh ones he'd brought in his backpack. A few moments later he was coming back up, and then he joined Harry in the toilet. Eggsy still looked nervous, and it couldn't all be from concerns about the time. No guidelines existed in their relationship with one another anymore. "Sorry. I thought I had more time."

"It's ok." Harry tested the water and held out a hand for Eggsy to take as he stepped inside. He'd get five more minutes of this at least. Five more minutes of Eggsy with him, bare and warm with the water sluicing over their skin. And then the boy would have to run off again. Harry helped Eggsy over the ledge and closed the glass door behind them. He let Eggsy soak up most of the spray and enjoy the heat. Harry took the initiative to run his hands over the boy's body to wipe away any fluids that remained if quickly as he knew he had to. Eggsy may have been unsure just then, but Harry wasn't any longer. 

Eggsy wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer. The familiarity of this, showering together after the fact, was just bringing more raw memories to the surface. Being with Harry in his house was much more intense than being with him in an unfamiliar place. Eggsy concentrated on keeping his breathing measured, more for his own sake than anything. Harry would likely notice his distress no matter how he hid it. "So... the opera, huh?"

Harry smiled even though Eggsy wouldn't see it with the way his head was tucked. "Yes, the opera. I think you'll enjoy it." Harry's hands slid up Eggsy's back and rested on his shoulders. He let them have a moment like that with just the water pouring down on them, neither moving. The seconds ticked by and Harry treasured every one, just as he knew Eggsy did. "It won't be long before we see each other again," Harry offered. 

"Yeah, I guess so. I get to pick what we do after the opera, though." Eggsy was quiet for a moment, picking through his thoughts to the sound of the spray against glass and porcelain. "I don't... want you pickin' everything anymore. Leadin' on everythin'. I gotta be the one who decides. An' maybe I'll decide to ask you sometimes what you wanna do, or if you've got ideas, but I gotta be the one who picks this time. Okay?"

"Alright. I can live with that." Harry didn't have much objection. The opera had merely been an excuse to see Eggsy again. If Eggsy found places he wanted to go with Harry, that was just fine. Harry would take him anywhere. "What do you think you'd like to do after the opera?" Harry trailed his fingers up the back of Eggsy's neck, willing the boy to look up at him. 

"Ice cream. Or one of those little fancy shops with the sweet french pastries and hot chocolate." Eggsy smiles wistfully to himself, then finally looks up. "I didn't starve or nothin' while I was, y'know, runnin', but I didn't have a lot of extra time and they didn't pay me much. I got plenty of opportunity to drink if I wanted to, or try some of the stuff I was runnin', which I didn't want to, but I couldn't really go out to a lot of the places I wanted too. Just cheap ice cream now and then, or candy from the Tesco or somethin'. I ain't seen a movie in a while either."

"It would be my pleasure." Harry smiled down at Eggsy. He thought it would be a wonderful idea to take the boy out for a treat after, and that Eggsy had chosen it for himself, that Eggsy had missed things like that and wanted to experience them again with Harry, that made it even better. "You'll have to keep an eye on what's playing in theatres," Harry added, "and let me know if you'd like to go." Plans for things Eggsy might prefer to do lit up his thoughts. He didn't think Eggsy would mind if Harry suggested a few and Eggsy still got to choose. It lifted his spirits to know that he probably wouldn't have to spend more weeks like the last couple, wondering if Eggsy would ever really want to see him again. 

"Yeah, okay." Eggsy's assent was tentative, but real. He _did_ want to see Harry again. He just didn't know how much hope to put into that desire, or want to seem too eager. Or even _become_ too eager. His affection and naiveté had blinded him the first time, and Eggsy didn't want to be caught like that again. If he'd asked the Wilsons, they certainly would have taken him out for sweets and movies, but that was different. That was with his foster parents who wanted to become his adoptive parents. They were nice, but Eggsy still felt like he couldn't open up or be himself around them, particularly when he couldn't be honest about his past. "I'll let you know. I got... stuff to figure out, but I'll let you know."

Harry's hands smoothed the water down Eggsy's shoulders, rubbing them and letting the boy know he was heard. "Okay." It was time to back off a little and let Eggsy collect himself again. Harry might not have wanted to, but he could feel it. He bent down low and pressed a kiss to Eggsy's cheek, short and sweet. "Come on. Best get dried off now." Harry shut off the water, opened the glass, and reached for the towels he'd set out for them, handing one to Eggsy. 

Eggsy dried off quickly. They couldn't afford to dawdle. Eggsy needed to get changed and back home as soon as he could in order not to get caught out on his lie, or get more concern and inquiries from the Wilsons about future plans that he didn't really want to answer. Eggsy hated lying to the Wilsons, and he wanted to do it as little as possible. While he didn't initiate more touch as they'd used to after cleaning up, Eggsy’s gaze lingered on Harry whenever he thought Harry wouldn't notice.

Harry noticed. He always did.

"Let me drive you back," Harry offered. "It's not far, but it will be faster." Every last second he could spend with Eggsy, he wanted to take, and it was true. Eggsy walking by himself would take about ten to fifteen minutes to get to the Wilsons' flat. If Harry drove him, it would be five. Once dried, harry wrapped the towel around his waist and trailed a hand over Eggsy's bare shoulder as he passed to find some clean clothes of his own. His bedroom had seen tidier days, but he felt the night was well worth it. Harry didn't bother to look for the clothes he'd discarded, conscious of dressing quickly. 

"Ok. Just, not too close. I don't want 'em to look out and see you droppin' me off. Even if we could just tell 'em that you picked me up from my friend's place." Eggsy pulled on his spare set of clothes in record time. He'd have to decide what to do with his other clothes later. Most likely, he'd end up washing them by hand in the tub, the way he used to when he and his mother couldn't afford to take their clothes over to the laundromat. He couldn't very well stick them in the laundry bin back at the Wilson's place and gamble that no one would catch a whiff of something that most assuredly was not the product of a hard day of skating out in the sun.

"Don't worry. I'm a professional," Harry said with a wink. He buttoned up his shirt and adjusted his cuffs before going to the closet for a pair of polished Oxfords. Harry really didn't do casual, by Eggsy's standards or even the Wilsons'. He grabbed his keys and his wallet and saw to it that Eggsy had everything he'd taken out tidied back up in his backpack before they descended the stairs. 

Harry took one last look at Eggsy standing in the hall behind him, marvelling one last time that the boy was there at all, and opened the front door. 

Eggsy followed Harry down the stairs to the garage and slipped into the passenger seat without a word, mulling over just how often this had happened before - lying to the people he lived with while Harry drove him back from their secret meetup. The sun was well-gone by then when they pulled out onto the street, although the streets of London were never _truly_ dark. Street lamps lined the walkways on either side of the road, and the lights of the city diffused into the sky, sinking into the cloud cover and creating a vague glow that hid most of the stars not already obscured by the clouds. Eggsy stared out of the car window, watching the rows of houses pass by. The lights inside each revealed scenes of everyday life, little bubbles of domesticity and rest that floated next to each other obliviously.

Harry glanced over every now and then. The ride wasn't long, but there were enough stops on the way that it afforded him a few extra moments to do so. He pulled over to the kerb around the corner from the Wilsons' flat and set the car to park. If the tentative plans they'd made did come to pass, this wouldn't be the last time Eggsy would be surreptitiously driven back in Harry's car.

"Thank you, Eggsy," Harry said before Eggsy could open the door, "for visiting me tonight." 

Eggsy shot Harry a nervous look that quickly softened once it was apparent that was all Harry was going to say. No pleading, no words that were going to line him with guilt or anger when he laid in bed and reflected on the day. Harry wasn't going to pressure him, and after a moment Eggsy relaxed. "Yeah. It weren't a favour to you, though. It was 'cause I wanted to." Eggsy paused, glancing out the windows around them, but the street was relatively deserted by London standards and no one was paying them any attention. "Harry? I got somethin' to ask."

"Go ahead," Harry said, patient. He'd known this night wasn't for him, but he was grateful for it all the same. Perhaps even more. Eggsy was looking out the windows more than he was at Harry, but that didn't mean all his attention wasn't still focused inside the car. Harry wondered briefly if Eggsy didn't want to go back. The thought had barely formed before he made his mind quiet, waiting for Eggsy to speak instead. 

"I don't know if you can, with... y'know, what you do," Eggsy started. "But I think it'd help if you could tell me about whatever you're doin', as much as you can. Not just bein' honest about older missions and stuff you've done, but what you're doin' now. I need to know who you are _now_ , not just who you've been years ago. An' that you'll tell me the truth about stuff, even if you're worried that I might not like what I hear. If you're tellin' the truth that you were mostly yourself back when we were livin' together, that's good, but I didn't see all of you, and we both know it. I gotta actually see all of you before I can make any kinda choice."

Harry drew a deep breath. "You want me to tell you about Kingsman. And any other...work I do." The idea gave him pause. He had often told Eggsy about missions before, but much of that work had been censored not only for the agency's secrecy. And his work with Merlin.... Eggsy's eyes turned up to look at him and all Harry could see was the young boy he'd loved...and betrayed, and lied to. He steeled himself, knowing all the while that Eggsy wasn't going to like some of what he heard. Would probably even take great issue with parts. "Okay," was Harry's response, regardless. "Next time we meet, you can ask and I'll tell you as much as I can."

Eggsy nodded slowly, watching Harry carefully even though he knew how adept a liar the older man could be. "Okay. Next time. I can't promise I'll like it, since you were always worried about tellin' me stuff, and with good reason. But it means a lot if you can show me that you'll tell me the truth anyways, even when I won't like it."

Eggsy hesitated. He looked like there was more he wanted to say, or do, leaning forward a few centimetres. His gaze flickered from Harry's eyes to his mouth, then back. "I... g'night, then. Lemme know about the opera, and give the Wilsons a call so they know you're takin' me. Yeah?"

Harry nodded and put on a smile. "Of course." He reached over and squeezed Eggsy's hand, then glanced up at the street. "Go on, then. You'll see me again soon." Harry thought he might have been speaking more for himself than he was for Eggsy, but it all came out the same. He would call the Wilsons up tomorrow, he decided, giving them plenty of notice before the actual 'date'. He'd have to put a spin on it. Let them know that he was taking Eggsy out both in celebration and to check up on him--a cross between professional duties and honestly caring for the boy. It was difficult not to plan it all out in his mind at that very moment before Eggsy had even left the car. 

The click of the car door felt louder than it should have, even so. One moment Eggsy was there, the next he was gone, slinging his backpack on and briskly walking towards his foster home. Eggsy didn't look back, leaving Harry to watch his retreating figure until he rounded a corner and disappeared from view.

Eggsy had come to see him. He'd come into his house. Not only that, he'd climbed into Harry's bed. Asked for it, even. That couldn't mean _nothing_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join us again this Saturday (6/4) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	44. Chapter 44

The next day Harry called to speak to Donna and Kevin just as he'd said he would. Although they had spoken on the phone once a week to check in thus far, he told them Eggsy was due for on in person assessment, but also that he believed things were going well and that he'd like to take Eggsy out to celebrate. Give the boy some culture and all. Donna thought the idea was lovely and Kevin agreed in the background. She ended up speaking to Harry for another thirty minutes about how he was really the only person Eggsy had come to trust with any regularity over the last few years even if they didn't see each other very often, and by the end of the call, Donna was very pleased, both at having confirmation that Eggsy was doing well in their home and that he had someone in the system looking out for him. She even told him as much over dinner that night. 

Eggsy perked up and did his best to look surprised about his social worker's suggestion of an opera trip, swallowing his guilt all the while. He liked the Wilsons, and it didn't seem fair to lie to them and trick them like this. As far as Eggsy could tell, they really did care and have his interests at heart.

But he knew they wouldn't take kindly to the idea of him dating older men, much less the person they thought to be his social worker. They wouldn't be happy about the idea of him being sexually active at all at his age. Eggsy didn't know if he could ever end up living with the Wilsons, not just because they didn't quite fit right, but because they would become a permanent part of his life if he stayed with them, and he'd never be able to relax and truly be open with them. Eggsy was fairly certain that having to lie for the rest of his life to his adoptive parents and their kin would drive him crazy, which didn't bode well for _any_ prospective parents for him.

The day that Harry came to pick him up arrived sooner than the last few weeks had gone by. Harry showed up at the Wilsons' door dressed in perfect finery as usual, but he wore subdued colours and nothing too ostentatious. The Wilsons knew they were to attend the opera, and had been delighted to see Eggsy interested enough at the idea even though it was usually an outing for their class and not his, but Harry hadn't wanted to seem too intimidating in his formal wear. He'd simply requested that Eggsy leave his hat at home, but Donna had dressed Eggsy up in slacks and a button up for the occasion. She'd insisted, saying he'd want to make a good impression on Mr. Talbot. 

"I feel silly," Eggsy had complained to Donna, knowing that she and Kevin thought he'd never dressed formally in his life. Given the state he'd arrived in when he'd first been placed with them, it was a safe assumption for them to make, with Eggsy's tastes running more towards flashy, casual streetwear than the clothes of high society. "Nobody's gonna be lookin' at me, anyways. They're all gonna be watchin' the stage."

"Just in case somebody does," she'd told him. 

Harry's face lit up when he saw Eggsy like that. He greeted Donna politely and thanked Kevin for letting him in, but his smile was all for Eggsy, standing in the hall ready to go and all around looking very different than Harry had seen him in a long time. Even though when harry had dressed him up before, it had been a little more thorough. 

Harry swept him out of the flat in a whirl of polite conversation and glances at his watch. He assured the Wilsons he'd see to Eggsy's dinner and told them not to worry, they'd have a wonderful time and he was sure Eggsy would be on his best behaviour. In no time at all, Eggsy was back in Harry's car and heading into the heart of the city. 

It didn't escape Harry's notice that Eggsy spent much more time looking at him than the sights outside the car this time. The boy couldn't quite get rid of a tinge of red that he'd taken on the moment he'd seen Harry dressed formally on the doorstep. Whatever tensions and hurts remained between them to be resolved, Eggsy still had a taste for Harry in his finery "What show're we seein' today, anyways? I don't even know what's playin'. Do they still do that screen above the stage where they tell you what the actors are actually singing?"

The corner of Harry's mouth lifted and he passed a program over to Eggsy. "If you can read that without the screen, that's what we're going to see: La Damnation de Faust." He didn't try to hide the amusement in his voice. "The story of a man's damnation after being consumed by an obsessive love, to the exclusion of all else." Harry sneaked a glance Eggsy's way, but gave no hint that the theme might have struck home with anything more than amusement. "I think you'll like it."

Eggsy caught on right away, turning to stare at Harry with wide eyes. His mouth opened and closed for a moment, speechless. "What, really? Is-... Is this a weird sort of apology, sayin' you were out of your mind, or are you tryin' to be a cocky little flirt? I've heard about this one b'fore, one time in school. The bloke doesn't just get damned, he sells his soul off 'cause he wants a younger lady to love 'im."

Harry glanced Eggsy's way again and couldn't stop the smile from fully spreading across his face. "I suppose it has become common knowledge not so recently that I do not have a soul. I doubt I'll ever get it back." Eggsy continued to stare Harry down and Harry laughed. "It's both, maybe?" An apology and a flirtation in one. That did sound like Harry. "I haven't intended this to be a sombre experience, just...something I felt was rather fitting when I saw it was playing." Harry glanced between the road and the boy next to him alternately. "You'd believe I sold my soul to the devil to have you, wouldn't you?" he asked with a crinkle at the corner of his eyes. 

"Well, didn't you? Not that I think one exists," Eggsy scoffed and waved a dismissive hand. "But you basically said as much. That you did all sorts of stuff, knowin' you shouldn't, 'cause you thought that was the only way you could get me to like you and move in with you."

Eggsy shifted and leaned back in his chair, opening the program and flipping through it to look at the pictures inside. "Gotta say, if you did? The deal you got was bollocks, seein' as I caught on an' all. I could believe you ain't got a soul, though, between the sorts of stuff you lot get done outside the law and what you're like in the sack. Angels ain't exactly known for bein' great at fuckin'." The boy smirked, watching Harry out of the corner of his eye to see what sort of reaction his teasing might prompt.

Harry tipped his head back and laughed. There was a brutal honesty in Eggsy's words, but he wasn't wielding them to hurt Harry. "In that case, I'd still take being a soulless devil." This kind of banter had come out of nowhere. For them, it was strange, but Harry enjoyed it and from the look Eggsy was levelling at him, it seemed the boy didn't wholly disapprove either. Harry opened the window and let the warm breeze ruffle their hair a little. It was good seeing Eggsy again. His spirits had been better all week, and he was very curious to know whether the boy felt similarly. 

"Maybe we can test that theory later on." Eggsy paged through the rest of the program, but a lot of it consisted of biographies of the singers and their portfolios. Eggsy wasn't much interested in the people they were going to see. "What've you been doin' since I last saw you? You still on holiday from work because you're healin' up, or are they makin' you do desk work now?"

"Desk work and low risk, local jobs I'm afraid. Lots of impersonating, nothing too taxing." At least Harry didn't have to give Eggsy any gory details due to his minor vacation, but he knew that wouldn't last. They both knew it, in fact. 

When they arrived at the opera house, Harry showed almost no trace of being injured. He led Eggsy through throngs of well dressed patrons and chatted with perfect posture to the staff before they took their seats. His cane had been gone for some time though he was still recovering, no one would be able to tell. 

Harry had gotten them a private box. _Of course_ he had. There were a few empty seats beside them, but Eggsy felt certain that no other patrons would fill them before the show began. Only a few weeks ago, he might have found that privacy threatening and demanding. Not so now. Eggsy knew Harry well enough to know he might be hopeful, and wanting to enjoy his company in private, but he'd never demand anything Eggsy hadn't wanted to give. Harry had manipulated him, to be sure, but that one line had never been crossed.

It also made for easier conversation. They'd still have to keep their voices down, but they could talk far more openly up there than they could anywhere else in the crowd. Harry settled back next to Eggsy and let him look out over the theatre below. They could see a lot from up there, even watch other patrons move about, flip through their programs, and mingle amongst each other before the show started. 

Harry was pleased just to watch Eggsy take it all in. But then the crowd began to settle and soon enough the lights dimmed for the performance to begin. 

Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief when the screen above the stage lit up and English translations began to appear. No one could really be expected to appreciate a production and not get bored if they couldn't understand anything that was going on. "Since you can't bargain your own anymore, I guess you gotta steal other people's to get any new deals. Would you wish for anythin' different the next time?"

Harry closed his mouth, his breath stilling for a moment. "Not to have had to lie." His words seeped into the quiet of their space, heard just above the performers entering the stage below. If Harry had been able to do that and still have Eggsy...he didn't know if things still would have gone wrong eventually, but after all that had happened already, it was something he wished for greatly. He kept his eyes on the stage below, but he knew Eggsy was watching him. 

"I didn't mean wishing a change back then. I meant _now_ ," Eggsy replied quietly. With the positioning of the box and sheltering curtains around the edges, the light reflecting up from the stage threw Harry's features into sharp angles, all black shadows contrasted against dimly lit planes. He resembled something older and more inhuman just then, with his normal softness artificially stripped away. "What would you want _now_?"

Harry turned to Eggsy, eyes just a hair wider than normal. The present tense had startled him, but it didn't take him long to think. "The same." Harry swallowed. "I'd wish for you to see me and want to be with me still. I'd wish for you to believe me in the times I do tell the truth." He thought to offer a small smile after the fact, to soften the moment. Harry didn't want to upset Eggsy, but he did answer honestly. He glanced down to the boy's hands, curled against his knee. "What would you wish for?"

Harry saw those small hands tense. Eggsy turned away to look off towards the stage, lost in thought for a few moments. "I don't really know for sure. I guess... if I was changin' the past, that you'd been honest from the beginning and not hurt my mum, or spied on me without my permission. If it was now? That you'd still be the same person I thought you were, more or less, and that I'd know for sure if you ever lied to me or hid stuff from me again. An' that you'd still like me when I'm older, 'cause I don't know if you're gonna."

Harry didn't stop watching Eggsy. He reached over and took the boy's hand, squeezing it in his own. "There are a lot of things I can't say about the future," Harry began slowly, quietly, just for Eggsy to hear between notes from the stage below, "but I can't imagine not liking you." Harry squeezed. Eggsy's palm was warm against his own and soft as only a child's could be. He tried to imagine it larger, roughened from work a man might do, but the sensation could only half form in Harry's mind. Eggsy was always going to be on the shorter side, he knew that. Some boys were beautiful when they were boys and then grew into unrecognisable creatures when they were older. But not Eggsy. Harry could look into his face now and never imagine such a thing. 

"I still... think, y'know. About..." Eggsy swallowed and looked around them. They were enclosed in the box, hidden away from the rest of the audience for the most part, but not entirely without risk. Eggsy kept his voice low, which made it all the more difficult for Harry to discern his words over the music. "What happens when you really go back to work. I know you're careful, but it's still dangerous. You've gotten beat up before. My dad died on the job. You almost died." Eggsy didn't have to say that Harry _would_ have died had circumstance not deposited the boy in the same place and let him stumble upon Harry where he was bound in the storeroom.

It was then that Harry turned his eyes to the stage below. For a minute they just watched, Harry aware of Eggsy's attention on him and Eggsy aware that Harry wasn't answering. 

"This is what I do," Harry finally said. "It's become me. I could no sooner leave it and become a real tailor than... Well, let's just say it's who I am now, and in some ways it's who I'd like to be. Through this job I have been able to become greater than my former self." Harry could feel Eggsy's eyes on him. He thought back to what Eggsy had told him about his conversation with Percival, about how Harry really did find worth in doing some good in the world where the organization could. Eggsy might have not believed it then, but Percival wasn't wrong. 

"I don't mean that, that you should stop. Like, I _get_ that. You can't. Maybe you couldn't even if you wanted to. I dunno how things are with your boss." The scenery and lighting changed down on the stage, reflecting crimson hues out onto the audience. Harry's face became rimmed with devilish radiance and Eggsy shivered. The boy knew the supernatural was nonsense and that demons didn't really exist, but he could easily imagine Harry as one. Devils could broker far more deals with a beautiful form and a kindly, gentle, trustworthy demeanour. "I just mean that it's made me think about the fact I might not get a lot of time. I might not have a lot of time for decidin'."

Harry hummed and looked down at their hands. "I will concede that is a possibility. Not one I like to entertain often, but a possibility, yes. But I can tell you from experience that if you try to force yourself into a decision before you're ready, you still won't be ready." For a few minutes more they let Faust's plight take over before Harry drew his thumb over Eggsy's hand and his attention likewise. Harry didn't say anything, just watched the play and took comfort in having Eggsy's hand in his, enjoying the simple touch while he could. 

Eggsy didn't pull his hand away. Not when Faust seduced Gretchen, or when her life inevitably became unravelled and destroyed. Not even when Gretchen began to plead for Faust to be saved, tearfully petitioning until her corrupted, villainous lover was pulled from the danger of hell right at the very end. Eggsy's hand tightened his hold on Harry's though, and when Harry glanced over the boy looked pale and thoughtful.

When it was all over and the crowd stood cheering, Harry raised their hands to his lips and kissed Eggsy's. Obscured by the sides of the box and moving so quickly, no one would have noticed. Harry gave the boy a half smile. Eggsy still had that faraway look about him, his eyes half drifting between the stage even though all the lights had come up and the performers were retreating from view. 

"Are you still in the mood for ice cream?" Harry asked instead of asking Eggsy about the play. Half of him wanted to, but the other half of him wanted to ease Eggsy's mind. 

"Y-yeah. Or one of those places that make those fancy chocolate tart things." They both stood. To Harry's delight, Eggsy closed the distance and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, pressing his head against the older man's chest for a brief moment.

Harry didn't vanish at the touch. He stayed solid and warm, with a steady heartbeat Eggsy could hear beneath his ear, albeit one that was beginning to beat faster. He even smelled familiar; alive. Thoughts of feeling time and danger and fate were weighing on Eggsy's mind after the play, wondering if he was wrong or right about Harry. A bit of physical reassurance went a long way; his time wasn't up yet.

Harry combed his fingers through Eggsy's hair and took a deep breath. He let himself enjoy it, not just Eggsy wrapping himself around him, but that Eggsy wanted him close and feared losing him. "I'm not going anywhere," Harry reassured the boy and smiled down when Eggsy looked up, face pressed into the fold of Harry's jacket. "Not for a long time if I can help it." The tips of his fingers rested just above Eggsy's collar, warmed by his skin, and Harry savoured the simple skin to skin contact. 

"You better not. Or maybe I'll go sell my soul to get you back just so I can beat you up for bein' so careless," Eggsy countered, narrowing his eyes. For all his tough demeanour, Harry saw through it. Eggsy was legitimately afraid of losing him, whatever his other feelings about Harry and what he'd done. He might not trust Harry, but what held true in the warehouse still held true, and more: Eggsy wanted Harry safe, alive, and somewhere close, whether he was a part of the boy's life or not.

Harry's fingers curled at the back of Eggsy's neck and so did his smile. "Good to know I have a backup plan." Harry watched the way Eggsy's face softened almost imperceptibly. His acceptance meant something to the boy, whether Eggsy wanted to admit it outright or not. "Let's go find you some chocolates, shall we?" 

Harry felt warmer as he drew Eggsy out of their box, his boy at his side again, going out for a treat after an enjoyable event, and wanting to be there. It was like they had been once, but not. This was new, uncertain, and yet familiar. 

The difference was evident in the constant underlying tension between them, and the space. Before, Eggsy had pressed much closer. Now he walked by Harry's side with a comfortable gap between them, looking elsewhere as often as not.

Even so, he still looked at Harry. He still wanted to be by Harry's side and accompany him. There was a chance extended there, and Harry didn't plan to squander it or be unappreciative of whatever he could get, whatever Eggsy decided in the end.

It was drizzling when they reached the street and the valet went for Harry's car, but he'd brought an umbrella, and they shared it as they watched the crowd steadily disperse from the doors behind them. In spite of that, the weather was comfortably warm and Harry didn't have to wrap an arm around Eggsy or offer the boy his jacket. He respected that space between them now, but was ever the gentleman when the car arrived and he opened the door for Eggsy before the valet could. Harry thanked the man as he climbed inside himself and once again they were alone. 

Eggsy stayed quiet as the minutes ticked by and London blurred outside the tinted windows. The boy was lost in thought instead of watching Harry or the passing surroundings. "Harry? What did you mean, 'bout being ready for a decision an' all that? I mean, if you thought I was ready for other stuff, why don't you seem to think I'm ready for making a decision about this stuff? I'm not, but it's not 'cause I'm _young_."

Harry glanced Eggsy's way, then back to the street. "I didn't mean because you're young. I meant because you're hurt. You can't simply will that away." 

They parked along the kerb not far from the shop Eggsy remembered Harry had taken him once. At this time of night it was glowing in the distance in hues of gold and teal, fitting right along beside the little boutiques that lined the street and cast a peaceful air over the strip. These shops were inviting, with tables spilling out onto the walk and doors open to the warm night air, a light stream of customers strolling in and out looking happy and relaxed. Nothing at all like the neighbourhoods Eggsy had been living in. 

"Yeah, I guess. I just... don't want you to think I'm stupid or incapable 'cause I'm younger. Lots of people do," Eggsy grumbled, opening the car door and waiting for Harry to join him. Everything felt fancy and safe, from the nearby shop windows to the street front seating to the customers milling around them. These people would have been keeping their heads tucked down and their hands near their wallets had they been in Eggsy's old neighbourhoods, but now he was just another kid, rather than a potential pickpocket.

Harry drew an arm around Eggsy's shoulders. "Since when have I thought you were incapable of anything because you're young?" Harry asked as they walked down the street. He had on a half smile, genuinely amused. Eggsy used to be very secure in the ways that Harry didn't treat him like a child. He had to wonder if the boy had doubts about that now, even though Harry had been very genuine about it. 

They entered the shop and found only a short line and a few tables taken. Harry would be able to find them a corner where they wouldn't be overheard with little trouble. 

"You hadn't before, but I'm not sure if that's 'cause you... wanted to encourage me toward stuff you wanted, instead of really thinkin' I was mature enough on my own." Eggsy kept his voice quiet as soon as they drew close to strangers. A small queue had formed close to the counter, and Harry and Eggsy had to stand in line, looking over the treats viewable behind glass and listed on the posted menu. "I should hope you wouldn't think I wasn't mature and clever enough, after everything. I _did_ beat you. And you didn't seem to be expectin' it."

Harry hummed. "That's true." 

He couldn't say any more before they arrived at the counter and had to make their decision, so Harry picked out a few of the chocolates and a few of the pastries on display and ordered a cup of tea along with the rest. He stood back and let Eggsy make his choice. Eggsy could get whatever he wanted with Harry, and not just because Harry owed him. Harry would indulge him regardless, even if he had to take some of the sweets home because he couldn't finish them all. 

Eggsy picked out several things - chocolates and caramels to take home, and a couple of the fresh pastries on display. Chocolate and cream tarts were one of his favourites, as Harry remembered, but he also picked out a sugared apple turnover and a cup of tea. The boy waited for Harry to pay and the clerk to wrap up their purchases for them, and then they went in search of an unoccupied table that was a bit distant from other customers.

"I was surprised I got you, actually, given what you do for a livin'. Or that I snuck by you a couple times even when you were lookin' for me."

Harry settled in across from Eggsy and laid out their desserts in front of them. "It's always a gamble when you're living with someone who gets suspicious. When you're working, even on long missions, it's ingrained in you. There are times I let myself be too comfortable at home. And when you were looking for me...well, you were pretty good at that, I'll be honest. You'd listened to my stories well, apparently." Eggsy had been good at staying out of CCTV range, for the most part, and there had been those times when he'd doubled back and changed his clothes just to throw Harry off. 

Eggsy nodded. He glanced down while slicing into his chocolate tart with a fork, breaking it into bits. "I did listen, a lot. Mostly I just got paranoid that you knew everything and could see anything, and then I did as much as I could. I didn't know if it was just you, neither. I thought maybe if I knew too much, other people would come after me too 'cause they were worried I'd blab, or somethin'. I didn't even think my little camera in your office was gonna work, to be honest."

Harry grimaced. "That was a perfect example of me getting too comfortable in my own home. The thing is, I've gotten generally paranoid. I notice things. But I'd also gotten comfortable with you." Harry paused in slicing his own tart. "It was the same tactic that I used, essentially. I knew you'd put those decorations there, but I thought little of it because I trusted you." The corner of Harry's mouth turned up in an uncertain smile and he shrugged, trying to signal to Eggsy that he didn't mean it as an accusation. 

Eggsy smirked, turning the expression on Harry for a moment before his attention drifted back to shoving dessert onto his fork. "...sucks, don't it? Thinkin' the other person is okay, only to find out something wasn't what you thought and now you're in deep shit because of it. I was too busy runnin' and bein' scared shitless at the time, but I thought it was kinda fittin'. That I got you back by lyin' and sneakin' cameras around."

"You did very well at that." Harry meant it, but he couldn't say it with a smile. "And then you were gone before I ever had the chance to stop you. That was key." Harry sighed softly and sipped his tea. He imagined Eggsy would have easily appreciated that turnabout. Harry certainly hadn't at the time, or even now, but he could still admire the boy's bravery and, if truth be told, skill. Eggsy hadn't let on what he'd been up to that night. Harry had been able to pass off any distraction as little to worry about. And then Eggsy was gone and the world Harry had built came crumbling down around him. 

"...I still get nightmares. About you in the train yard." Eggsy picked at his tart and took a swallow of his tea to try to stop the lump forming in his throat at the memory. He'd rarely felt so certain he was going to die, even when he'd been running drugs and gotten in trouble. "Where I'm freezin' cold, and trapped in a corner, and you're huntin' and gettin' nearer and nearer until I know you've spotted me and you're trappin' me in the car. I don't wanna have those dreams no more, but they keep happenin'."

Harry set down his mug and reached across the table to take Eggsy's hand. He felt an indescribable sorrow. "I'm so sorry, Eggsy." Harry watched Eggsy's eyes fall, watched his slim shoulders hunch in on himself. Harry chewed his lip. If Eggsy trusted him again, those dreams would fade. Not just trusting him in mind, but in Eggsy's subconscious mind as well. Harry wouldn't be the monster anymore. He'd track Eggsy through the snow and the cold and the dark and when he found Eggsy, he wouldn't be so scary. Harry's chest constricted, imagining his dream self wrapping Eggsy up in his arms instead of dragging him out to die. "Believe in me again and those dreams won't last."

"It's just hard. I know now that what I was afraid of then isn't going to happen, but I still dream about it. I guess 'cause I was worried for so long. 'specially after you scared me a second time. I thought I was done, nobody was ever gonna find me again 'cause I'd just disappear." Eggsy took another bite of his tart, but he didn't really taste it. The sugar might as well have been air. It took effort to swallow. "I just keep thinkin' about it even though it won't come true."

Harry squeezed his hand. "At least you can believe in that much now." He let Eggsy go and tried to go back to his chocolates. "It'll lessen with time, I believe. If you do get to know me again and find some of those answers you were looking for." Harry couldn't say for sure, but he could hold out that much hope. He'd been an unknown for so long, but now he had the potential of offering Eggsy at least some peace of mind. 

"Do we have more time, after this? Or do I gotta get back afterwards?" Eggsy knew that the Wilsons had planned for this outing, but not for how long. If Harry had told them a time estimate over the phone, he hadn't heard about it. "I don't really want to go back yet. It doesn't feel like I've gotten away at all."

Harry glanced at his watch. "We can stay out a little longer. An hour or so maybe before it starts getting too late." Harry wondered if it would have been like this if Eggsy had stayed with Michelle all along. If they'd have continued to meet for outings and dates and the like and every time it would have felt like this when Eggsy had to go back. Things were different now, of course they were, but the underlying threat of Eggsy having to leave Harry remembered well. "What would you like to do in the meantime?"

Eggsy thought for a moment. He could suggest anything he wanted, and he knew Harry would take him there. Eggsy considered the possibilities, including a few places he really did want to go. "Either back to your place or... that one bookstore we went, that one time. I dunno if they have anything I can sneak back with me, but I kinda wanted to read more. An' it's not anything you can just get at the library or a normal bookstore, 'specially if you don't got a credit card."

Harry lifted his head. "I think they'd still be open for another hour yet." While he would have loved taking Eggsy back to his house, the idea of going back to the very first book store he'd taken Eggsy was a little too good to pass up. And it would get them on another track of conversation. Idly, Harry hoped that maybe if they had a better time, then Eggsy might not dream of anything bad that night. "We could go there if you like. I'm not sure if you'd be able to bring anything you pick out there back with you, but you're welcome to keep it with me still. Just to hold for you."

Eggsy nodded. Even if that was the case, that was good enough. He wasn't planning on cutting off contact with Harry, so having the older man hold books for him was acceptable, if not ideal. Eggsy didn't want to have to wait for their next outing, or spend all of that time reading when they did get together. "Let's do that, then. I wanna see what else they've got. More than the basics that I got last time."

"Okay." Harry smiled, finding his spirits lifting. He finished his tea and wrapped the rest of their sweets up in the boxes to take home. He held the door for Eggsy as they left the shop and found the crowds on the street still light. 

The trip to the book store didn't take long at all. It was just like the last time they'd been there as Harry led Eggsy inside, only the sun had gone down and there were a handful more customers milling through the aisles. Other than that, it hadn't changed. 

Eggsy kept close to Harry's side, smiling at the clerk when he glanced their way. The store had changed out all the recent publications being featured at the front and the endcaps, of course, but the aisles seemed to be much the same. Eggsy tugged on Harry's sleeve, moving them back through the stacks until they were some distance from the rest of the customers. Another tug, and Harry was bending down closer while Eggsy beckoned and finally whispered in his ear. "I'm, um. Lookin' for... stuff like what's in your basement, except not a super long time ago. Do they even make stuff that isn't about Greece? Or books about relationships that isn't a sex guide?"

Harry frowned. "You might be able to find books on relationships that aren't just sex guides, but I'm afraid if you're looking for ones similar to the collection I have, then you're not going to find much past the Victorian era. I can think of a couple relevant titles, but little that isn't non-fiction and, well, cloaked in ambiguity." He had to wonder how long Eggsy had thought about this. He probably hadn't had the opportunity to go looking through book stores like this while he'd been away, not unless he sneaked off on his own and travelled through half the city, which Harry highly doubted, and if that was the case, then it would have been on Eggsy's mind for a long time. 

"Victorian would be fine, I guess, although it's still a little old. I just... don't know much about a lot of stuff. More than the basics. I mean, there seem to be a bunch of books about _how_ to have sex, and people doin' biographies and stuff, but I haven't been able to see or hear or much beyond... like, that everyone goes to clubs, takes drugs, and picks random strangers to have sex with. There has to be more than that, but I can't find information about different stuff, or things I really want to know about." Eggsy glanced at the bookshelves around them. The stacks nearby weren't even non-fiction, but lurid novels that seemed to be much the same as the paperbacks his mother had enjoyed, albeit with different genders inside.

"Ahh. You might want to branch out into the regular gay variety, then," Harry suggested, walking them down an aisle. "Admittedly, relationship topics are somewhat harder to find outside of autobiographies. People like reading about the erotic. And relationships can be...different for each of us." 

They ended up in a non-fiction section and Harry let Eggsy peruse the shelves. What it sounded like Eggsy was really looking for, he'd have to pick out for himself. Harry scanned the titles for any that might be relevant, but it quickly became apparent that method would involve some hunting. 

Eggsy hunted and poked around, but ended up not finding much. He settled for something that looked vaguely along the same lines of what he'd been looking for - a history of gay culture at the turn of the century, and the major names that had been noticed and prosecuted. Not exactly what Eggsy had wanted, but close enough to the time period Harry had suggested that the boy was being optimistic. He handed the volume over to Harry, chewing on his lower lip all the while.

Harry looked it over and a small smile spread across his face when he realised Eggsy had been looking for exactly what he'd thought the boy had been looking for. "Ah, the Uranians."

Harry didn't hesitate to buy it for him. And Harry didn't particularly care if anyone looked their way curiously. A boy Eggsy's age probably wasn't one of the usual patrons of the shop, but then again there was no rule that children weren't allowed. At first glance, Harry probably looked like a father supportive of his son's interests. Or the other way around. If anyone thought otherwise, there was little they could do. 

Eggsy tucked the book under his arm once they were outside and Harry handed it over. He still wasn't able to quite overcome the sense of embarrassment and debt that surfaced every time someone else bought something for him, but it was easier now with Harry. The Wilsons owed him nothing. Harry owed him everything.

"Do y'think I still gotta keep this at your place, or would it be safe enough to bring back to my room?" Eggsy didn't want to give it up, but he also didn't want to arouse any suspicions.

"If you can hide it or get the Wilsons to believe you bought it on your own while you were out with friends, go ahead. It just wouldn't be appropriate for me to have bought it for you, or even have taken you to this book store." Harry opened the door for Eggsy, the gesture coming back to him now without even thinking about it, before climbing inside himself. "If you'd like to tell them you're more interested in men than women, I do think they'd react well. They seem to be an open minded sort of couple, within certain boundaries."

Eggsy considered this while Harry turned the key in the ignition and pulled out onto the street. The Wilsons did seem a sweet sort, and a bit more open than his own mother had been. "I don't know if I wanna do that yet. 'Specially if I don't know if I'm stayin' there or not. I don't want people knowin' that about me if I'm not gonna stick around. It ain't none of their business anyways." Eggsy opened the book and began to skim through the first chapter.

Harry drove them back to South Kensington. The drive wasn't very far, but Harry wasn't hurrying. The quiet wasn't the wrong sort of quiet either. Eggsy admitting to the dreams he still had about Harry lingered in the back of his mind, but the boy sat next to him peacefully now, reading what he wanted to and wouldn't be able to with anyone else. Harry played a lot of roles in Eggsy's life, some of them in complete opposition to others. He may as well really have been several people, all at once, just like Eggsy had felt when they'd come together again. 

Eggsy was mulling over the day all the while, only half paying attention to the book in front of him. The content was interesting, but his mind was stuck on Harry's reactions from earlier - the smile he'd had when Eggsy had admitted what sort of books he was looking for, and the eerie conversation they'd had at the opera, while Harry had been wrapped all in shadows and red light reflecting off the stage. The memories were vivid and impactful enough that Eggsy knew he'd be remembering them for quite some time.

They didn't have to park around the corner this time, but Harry did all the same, not liking the thought of anyone looking out their window from the flats above the street and catching a glimpse of them in the car. 

Harry looked over at Eggsy and noted he hadn't turned the page in a while. The boy's clear eyes, darker than they normally were at this time of night, met his own, and Harry didn't want to say goodbye. "I hope you enjoyed tonight," Harry offered, feeling like he was quietly stalling for time. 

"Yeah, I did." Eggsy reached out to take his box of leftover treats from the pastry shop. After a moment's hesitation and sizing up the dimensions of the book, he set it aside. "I dunno if I can sneak this in tonight, 'cause they're probably gonna see me at the door and ask about everythin'. "

Eggsy swallowed and looked back at Harry. Seconds ticked by, and still he didn't move to get out of the car.

"I suppose you'll just have to pick it up next time." Harry glanced from the book up to Eggsy. Their gaze held. Harry knew Eggsy could read him then. He was practically an open book sitting there, leaning between them like he might stop Eggsy from getting out if only they were a little closer. Harry swallowed back an 'I'm going to miss you'. Eggsy already knew that and he didn't want to sound like he was pressuring the boy. So he took a breath and tried not to glance up at where the Wilsons' flat must stand around the corner. "Well then. I suppose this is goodnight."

"Yeah, I guess so." Still, Eggsy didn't move. He didn't look away either. Both of them were held enthralled by the other, trapped by everything unspoken. Eggsy was searching Harry's face, looking for something beyond the sentiments he already knew were there. "Um... Harry?"

The corner of Harry's mouth twitched upwards. It was nice to see that he wasn't alone in this, that Eggsy didn't take the opportunity to leave when it was given, that he might really be tempted to stay just as much as Harry was tempted to ask him to. And how hopeful the boy's eyes looked. "Yes?"

Eggsy glanced outside their car, checking for observers. When he didn't spot anyone, he unbuckled and darted forward and up. The kiss was brief, little more than a quick press of soft lips against Harry's own, and then Eggsy sat back in his seat. "Thanks for... y'know. The opera and things. It was nice." The boy pulled a face. "Never thought I'd really be glad about goin' to the opera, truth be told. But it's kinda like musicals, even if it's in another language with funny singin'."

Harry broke into a wide smile. "I'm glad to have broadened your horizons." He reached up and stroked his thumb over Eggsy's lower lip, appreciating the kiss. Harry would have bent in for another if he could be certain they wouldn't be seen, but Eggsy had been daring enough already. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. And the rest of the night. And if you'd like to go out again, next time you can decide what we do. I'm only a phone call away." 

"Okay. I'll think about it." With another tone of voice, that might have been taken as a subtle negation, but Eggsy sounded considering. It didn't seem to be a matter of if he'd call to go out again, but when and where. The boy clutched his box of treats and finally twined his fingers around the door handle. "I... guess I'll see you later, then. G'night, Harry."

Eggsy opened the door and slipped outside, waiting just long enough to hear Harry's murmured reply before shutting it and starting the walk home. He didn't look back. He didn't need to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join is this Saturday (6/11) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	45. Chapter 45

The next several weeks saw Eggsy calling Harry not often, but more regularly. Harry took the boy out twice, and true to his word, let Eggsy decide where they went. There was no more opera, but Harry was no less pleased. Eggsy hadn't needed to tell the Wilsons he'd be going out with Mr. Talbot again either. Harry picked him up on the weekend and their days only lasted until nightfall, so it wasn't difficult to use the excuse of seeing Eggsy's old friends. They both knew there was a time limit on that, but for the moment it worked. 

Eggsy's progress with the tutor became more difficult as they really got into the material he'd missed and he began to get homework, but Harry kept telling him to stay on track and not let himself fall behind every time they saw each other. 

It wasn't until weeks later that Eggsy finally came back to Harry's house. 

"Are you sure about that tutor?" Eggsy asked once he was inside and closing the door behind himself. "I get I need to catch up, but I've never had a teacher go so _fast_ before. I mean, he explains things a bit more when I ask questions, but the homework is _killin'_ me. I feel like I'm doin' more school now than when I was _in_ school."

Eggsy toed off his sneakers and shrugged his backpack onto the floor by the sofa. "I don't hardly get any free time, I'm doin' so much stuff. An' the Wilsons are always asking me how things are going. I don't know what to tell them, 'cause I think it's goin' fine, but I don't really know if I'm gettin' anywhere or not."

Harry came out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs of tea. He'd already set out biscuits on the coffee table in preparation for Eggsy's arrival. "You probably are doing more work than you were when you were last in school. You are catching up, after all. But the important thing is that you do manage to understand what you're going through before you have to move on. If you don't, then we'll need to get him to slow down or try other methods." 

Harry set down their tea, but he didn't go for the couch. He reached out and wrapped Eggsy into his arms for a hug instead. 

Eggsy huffed out a sigh and returned the embrace. His forehead rested against Harry's chest. "I know I gotta catch up, but I want a break now and then. It's hard to get used to doin' so much when I ain't been doin' anything for a while." Eggsy paused for a moment, perfectly content to stay exactly as he was. "...did you find school hard, when you were there? You've told me a bit about when you were in school and younger, but not a lot. What were you like?"

Harry gave a soft snort. "I was...not the model student, no, but I pulled through. I enjoyed the time at school with my peers more than the work. So if I made it through, then I'm sure you can." Harry smiled down at Eggsy, not so far down as the first times they'd hugged like this, but fondly all the same. He rubbed Eggsy's back before letting the boy go. "It won't be so bad once you get used to the schedule, I should hope." Harry moved to the couch and picked out one of the biscuits. 

"I don't got any peers, though. It's just me." Eggsy flopped down on his side of the couch, rather more roughly than Harry would have preferred. The boy turned on his side and gave Harry a calculating look. "An' that ain't everything I asked. I wanna know what you were like _besides_ just school. I don't just wanna know more about you as you are right now, although that's important too."

Harry raised a brow. "You want to know about me when I was your age?" he clarified. He hadn't been expecting such a request. He knew Eggsy had wanted to come over, just to talk and see Harry, and the night was supposed to be more low key than their previous outings had been, but he hadn't expected that. He set down the biscuit, thinking. "I suppose I was like a lot of boys at that age, only I grew up in a wealthy family. Old money, as you'd probably guessed, and as soon as I was old enough I spent a lot of time away at school. We would have been very different, in those respects." 

"I don't know what that _means_ though. I mean, I've met posh people, but I don't know what living in a family like that is like besides the stuff on the telly. I know you stayed _at_ school, instead of coming home every day, but I don't know what that would have been like. I saw some of the pictures when Lan-... Merlin, whatever his name really is, showed me an older photo album." Eggsy snatched up a couple of biscuits and his mug, doing his best not to spill crumbs all over the couch.

"Oh? Were those the ones you found in the garage? I don’t remember him having any of my childhood photos…” Harry wrinkled his brow in thought. He wouldn't really put anything past Merlin though. And he could imagine Eggsy cherishing such a thing. Harry leaned back against the couch and turned to face Eggsy comfortably. If Eggsy wanted to settle in on this topic, he didn't mind. 

"They weren't of you as a kid. Maybe at Uni or somethin'." The mention of letting Merlin have private items turned Eggsy's mouth dry, and suddenly the boy's thoughts turned in another direction entirely from what he'd been pondering on the way over. He frowned and buried his nose in his tea mug for a few seconds. There shouldn't have been any reason to be nervous, but they'd never openly spoken about this, and Eggsy didn't know what to anticipate. "...Harry? H-how... Um, I mean, I know Merlin knew about us because he helped you, obviously. But he seems to be the one that's good with cameras, which... I figured, that means he helped you set things up. And probably saw things, if he was helping run everything. Right?"

Harry sat very still. "That's right." 

Harry had wondered if Eggsy would ever bring this up. He was sure to have worked it out, at least the basics of what Merlin had access to. And Harry didn't know specifically of what they'd talked about together, but he'd wondered if Eggsy had accused Merlin of watching them when the two came face to face again back at headquarters. 

"I... why did you let him? Why did he even-... I mean, it was one thing when it was you watchin', not when I was back at my mum's, but later. It wasn't nice, 'cause I got no privacy and I didn't know you were doin' it, but at least I was ok with you seein' me. I didn't know him and didn't even really like him much." Eggsy clutched his mug tightly and tried to keep breathing. Forcing the words out was more difficult than he'd thought it'd be. "I figured, later on, he had to be watching too. To help you out, and cover for you, and because he knew so much. But I don't really... know how much. Even when he was bein' nice to me, he never seemed _interested_ like you. I don't really know how I feel about it all, honestly."

Harry nodded slowly. "I know this is hard to understand... I know you don't like him very much...." Harry frowned and shifted on the couch. "Merlin and I have worked together for a long time. He's saved my life more times than I can count. He is my eyes, my ears, my...saving grace, if you will, whenever I go out into the field. This has been my life for so long that I trust him implicitly. In the beginning it didn't even occur to me to keep him out when I needed his help. After we...became close, I thought more on how you would feel about that, knowing he was watching. I knew you wouldn't like it. I knew that from the beginning, admittedly, but I did think more on it as time passed. But I might as well shut out half my own mind. I know you don't see it that way. You've never seen us work. We seem like two entirely separate people to you, but sometimes Merlin acts as an extension of myself. And sometimes I act as an extension of him." 

"But _have_ you shut him out? I mean, you've showed me there's no cameras in here before, and you said you weren't going to put any back in and turn them on. So he's not watchin' us anymore, right?" Confirmation of what he'd long-guessed wasn't pleasant, but not as devastating as it had once been. Eggsy had thought about all of this for some time on the long nights after he'd run away, living while dodging as many cameras as he could. He'd suspected the worst for so long that it wasn't a shock that Merlin had seen everything, but Eggsy still didn't know what to do about that confirmation.

"No, he's not watching us anymore. He'd seen us back at HQ, but there's nothing turned on at the house anymore." Harry's voice was clear, but somewhat monotone. Even he could hear the flatness in it. Having to confirm Eggsy's suspicions wasn't pleasant, but the truth was that he didn't really want to shut Merlin out like Eggsy did. Eggsy didn't know what the man got out of seeing them together, and Harry doubted he'd understand it the same way Harry saw it if he tried to explain, no matter how many metaphors Harry threw in. 

Eggsy flushed a deep red as he stared down into his mug. He hadn't considered that Harry might have cameras in his room at headquarters, although perhaps he should have. He'd only factored in that security cameras would be in the halls, and that anyone viewing them would assume he was the worried adopted son going to check in on his father. He’d assumed Landon could delete those if it looked suspicious. " _Why_? Why would- He didn't have to watch then, it wasn't like he was stumblin' on it, like checkin' the feeds in your house to make sure I was still clueless." All the more humiliating to remember his interactions with Merlin afterwards, and the discussions in his office. Anger flared up, and he glared at Harry. "Maybe you feel like he's part of you, but I don't."

Harry frowned, but didn't otherwise move. Here were the barbs he'd known would come and yet somehow still had hoped wouldn't. "What would you like me to do, Eggsy? I'll keep the cameras in the house off as you've asked, but I have no control over what he does anywhere else." Harry knew he couldn't win this battle, if there was a battle. Merlin would do as he always did; he didn't care what Eggsy thought of him, but Eggsy would only resent Harry for it. 

"Why? If he's your friend, won't he listen to you? Or do I gotta ask him not to watch me?" Eggsy couldn't believe it. If Harry was close with Merlin, like he said, he couldn't imagine a good friend just ignoring him when Harry asked him something important. The only other possibility the boy could think of was that Harry didn't want to ask Merlin to stop, which only raised more questions. 

Harry shook his head. "As his friend, he'd know I'd never ask that of him." Eggsy's brows drew together and Harry sighed. "You have an idea of how reclusive I was before you got to know me? Merlin is even worse than I am. I still went out and talked to people on occasion. Even if I never let them close. When I wanted...certain kinds of relief, I would go out and find it. Merlin doesn't. He has his cameras, and those are nearly his only connection to other people." 

"So it's not important enough for you to ask him to stop watchin' me without my permission," Eggsy groused. "It ain't my fault if he's a shut-in. Although I guess it makes sense now why he always seems jealous around me, even if he's tryin' to hide it. Maybe it ain't me he's watchin', but _you_."

"I have less qualms over letting him watch me than I do you, as that is my decision," Harry pointed out. He watched the boy's face scrunch up and his mouth set, watched Eggsy's posture turning in on himself, and Harry knew Eggsy wouldn't like this situation. But there it was all the same. Harry wasn't going to shut Merlin out of his life. 

"I don't get it." Not only did Eggsy not understand, he wasn't happy about it. He couldn't imagine letting any friends of his watch everything he did in his most private moments. Moreover, while it wasn't his place to tell Harry what he could and couldn't do, he wasn't happy that Harry let Merlin watch Harry _at other times_ either. "...it feels like cheatin'. Not exactly cheatin', but sorta, you lettin' him watch you."

Eggsy set down his mug on the coffee table and leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees. He could feel Harry's eyes on him. "So you ain't gonna tell him to stop watchin' me if he gets a chance. Will he stop if I tell him to?"

"Probably not." Harry still didn't move. "If I leave the house cameras off, he'd leave it be. But he's not going to let much else restrict him." Harry watched Eggsy's knees tighten against his hands and thought for a long moment. "When you were gone, we were both frustrated. I wouldn't move on. I was moping and depressed and I'd dump all that on him to listen to. I wouldn't look for other boys and it left him with little to watch and a lot of stress to lend an ear to. I thought...I thought maybe that even if I wasn't interested in moving on, that he and I could...." Harry shrugged, not knowing how to put the rest of that sentence into words Eggsy would understand. "Well, it didn't work. I'm not going to run off with Merlin. We're not a good match in that way. But in what we have now, in our work and in our personal projects, we are."

Eggsy turned towards Harry with an incredulous look. He couldn't have said what shocked him more about the revelation. "...okay, I don't think I wanna know about _that_ bit, just so long as you're not runnin' off. I still don't get why he's gotta watch people, though. And what's with these personal projects you're talkin' about? What are you doin'?"

Harry snorted softly, finding wry amusement in Eggsy's reaction. "You were mine. That's why he helped me with all this. And his...." Harry thought for a moment how to explain Merlin's projects without revealing too much about Merlin he probably wouldn't enjoy Eggsy knowing. "His projects vary. They're closer to the work I do for Kingsman, only Merlin decides what we focus on. Usually they involve someone who's done something wrong, or is about to, getting taken out."

Eggsy paled. He knew Harry had killed for Kingsman quite a lot over the years. The boy liked to hope that Kingsman stuck to certain principles, much as he hoped MI6 did, but he had no way of knowing. "So he... finds bad guys and asks you to take them out? What sort of stuff have they done wrong?"

Harry shrugged one shoulder. "Anything. Eggsy.... There are things I've done, that I do, that you won't approve of. And I am pretty sure this is one of them." Harry sat there impassively for Eggsy to inspect, but he knew the boy wouldn't pick up much other than the tension that had been holding Harry's posture together for the entirety of their conversation. 

"So tell me. You said you were gonna-... Harry, I can't decide whether I wanna _do this_ or not if I don't know all of you," Eggsy protested, trying to catch Harry's eye and get a real reaction. "Even the stuff I don't like. An' there is stuff I don't like. I don't like that you won't tell Merlin to fuck off with watchin' me, or that he watches you and you're okay with it, or that I can't understand how things are between you two. You're worried again that bein' open with me is gonna make me go away, but I'm tellin' you: hidin' everything from me, and me findin' out later, is gonna make me go away. I ain't doin' all this lyin' and sneakin' shite all over again."

Harry shook his head again. "Merlin's projects are not mine to tell. I'll tell you my part in it, but if you want to know why he does what he does, you'll have to talk to him. As for what I do in these projects, I kill people. I ruin their lives. Or I allow them to ruin their own lives. It's always that they've either done something wrong already that they pay for, or they make that choice along the way."

"Isn't that a little... like those police stings, where they take people who are fine and trick 'em into doing something wrong, then arrest them for doing the things they prompted 'em to do?" Eggsy pulled a face. The people he'd run with on the streets were always worried about that sort of entrapment, as it was difficult to ensure a client wasn't really a bobby in disguise. "Was that what happened to that one bloke in that video, you set him on fire?"

"In a way. That man had burned down several of his own properties, apartment homes he owned of which several tenants died in, for the insurance money. I had no involvement in that, just that the end he met was fitting. But you're not entirely wrong either. Several people in these projects have met their own downfall through taking up the offers I've given them, and you could easily call that entrapment." The monotone hadn't quite left Harry's voice, but it was softer as he spoke now. 

Eggsy's gaze sharpened. The boy was clever enough to realize what was going on. In a way, Harry's attempts to protect himself from anticipated rejection was a very good sign, as it meant he actually cared and was afraid of how Eggsy might react... and yet was complying with Eggsy's demand for truth anyway.

"Harry. Harry, _look_ at me." Eggsy waited for the man to do so, then moved. He slipped underneath Harry's arm and resettled straddling Harry's lap, forcing Harry's attention. "You're right. I don't like the entrapment bit, an' not knowing if these people actually were bad enough to deserve what they get. But I like it more that you're actually tellin' me stuff."

Harry frowned at the boy in his arms. If Eggsy intended to throw him off with this display of affection, gratitude, possibly even acceptance, then it was working. Harry's brows knit together and he didn't know what to say. His hands settled over the small of Eggsy's back and he searched the boy's face. Eggsy seemed open. Seemed like he wasn't rejecting Harry or about to demand something Harry didn't want to offer, but Harry still wasn't sure he could predict how Eggsy was taking all this new information. 

"That's good to hear," Harry said finally. 

"I'd rather you tell me stuff than not," Eggsy repeated, just to make certain that Harry understood him. "I don't know what to think about all of it yet. Or that you probably won't change anything, just like you won't tell your friend to stop watchin' me outside of the house. I'm really not happy about that, no matter how much you think of him as part of you, 'cause I _don't_. But this is all stuff I gotta know."

Harry nodded. Not for the first time, he appreciated Eggsy's stability in the face of stress. He had more fortitude than any other child Harry had ever met. And sometimes Harry wondered if what he'd put Eggsy through had anything to do with that. 

"And I'm willing to tell you." Harry mustered a small smile and lifted a hand to the nape of Eggsy's neck. He didn't say it aloud, but Harry would try to find a way for Eggsy and Merlin to coexist with both of their interests in him and with as little harm to the other as possible. "But thank you. For hearing this through without... Well, without too much judgement." 

"There's still judgment, but I ain't kickin' you to the kerb, if that's what you're thinkin' about," Eggsy countered. "I want you to tell me stuff without constantly... feelin' like you gotta hide it and manipulate me, or else I'll leave. Maybe I'll like it, maybe I won't, but findin' out you're lyin' to me again will make me leave a lot quicker than me not likin' you playin' vigilante, or bein' pissed that you won't yell at your friend to stop spyin' on me."

"Well then. Here we are. You now know how much Merlin has been involved, albeit from the sidelines, and that not all my work is as noble as you'd like it to be. What else would you like to know?" Harry would give him answers, but he couldn't bring the smile back to his face. Not even an ironic one. But still he held Eggsy close, his hands once again loosely clasped around the boy's back. 

Eggsy thought. Harry opening himself to questions was a golden opportunity, and now that Eggsy had the chance, he felt overwhelmed trying to narrow down everything that he wanted to know. "I still wanna know what you were like when you were younger. I wanna know if you ever tried to fix stuff for my mum, after you messed her up to get at me. I wanna know if you ever went after any of my friends to get me, or after I ran away. I also wanna know how you started bein'... friends or whatever you are with Merlin, 'cause I don't think that's somethin' normal from just workin' together."

"It _was_ through work," Harry countered. "We don't exactly have the usual workplace boundaries, although for years, for very, very many years we were nothing but professional with each other. It's.... After that amount of time, you come to notice things about someone. You notice absences, too. We implicitly trusted one another in the field. I trusted him to lead me and he trusted me to act. We knew so much about each other, but when you know someone like that, you notice when there are gaps in your knowledge. I never let on to my...sexual proclivities, and he never revealed his projects outside of work. The thing is, after that long I knew I could trust him because he never asked. And then the time came when I needed his help, and I revealed that part of myself and I was met with no judgement. He simply helped me. In return he came to trust me with his own personal matters." Harry offered a tight smile. "As for the rest.... I did try to help your mother as I promised I would. I put her through one of London's best rehab clinics, but it didn't stick. I knew you had gone to a friend's house when you ran away, but I didn't do anything to him or his family, nor any of your other friends. Even the care home you went to for a short time, I visited them, but I never caused them any harm."

"Good. Good, I..." Eggsy sighed and briefly hid his face in his hands. He'd wondered and worried, but never dared check up on anyone but his mother after he'd left. "I didn't know if I'd ended up leadin' them into trouble, since I didn't know what you were gonna do. I guess it ain't your fault if my mum didn't wanna get better. Maybe she thought there was no point anymore, with me and dad gone."

"So you... it sounds like you only got closer after you needed help. Was that with gettin' someone else, or comin' after me?"

"That was getting to you in the first place, years ago." Harry smiled more easily. "It was new territory for all of us, I suppose. He tried to help me move on after you left, but I wouldn't have it. It wasn't out of any anger towards you, mind, he just wanted me to move on for the sake of my own well-being." Harry's thumb brushed over Eggsy's spine. His hands were there and they might as well enjoy the small touches they could. It relaxed him. "As for what I was like as a boy.... How does one sum up one's childhood? I had money and a family who were more distant than not, but I enjoyed my time at school where the professors were open minded and so were many of the students and we could get away from the stuffy old society life for a while. And then I learned to become distant myself as I grew up."

"So you didn't know your parents very well? Or they just didn't do things with you much?" Eggsy could understand a bit of that. Michelle had tried very hard, but being a single mother with extensive problems of her own and a lack of understanding had put a wedge between them that had only gotten wider over time. Eggsy shivered at the feel of fingers drifting up and down his back and tried not to let it derail his thoughts. "Did you get more distant 'cause that's what everyone did? Or was it 'cause you decided to become a spy? Or was it, um. 'Cause you liked people like me?"

"Mainly the latter," Harry admitted. "I knew my parents. I saw them every summer while I was in school, but they were distant in their nature. I had always been friendly with the staff as a boy, but as I got older.... It's funny how one detail can affect so much. Before I was out of school I realised my life was going to have to involve a great deal more privacy than that of my classmates. I'll never know for sure whether that had anything to do with me being offered the chance to work for Kingsman. My family had connections with one of the previous knights, but that's no guarantee their children would ever be given the opportunity. Whatever the case was, by the time I turned eighteen I already knew I'd have to be very good at keeping secrets."

Eggsy's gaze turned downward as he considered this. He'd had thoughts, not exactly like Harry's, but of a similar nature not all that long ago, right about the time they'd met. Once Eggsy had started to realize that he was different, and what society thought about people like him, and the sorts of choices he was going to have to make. He'd have to make his entire life one unhappy lie for safety and security, or risk himself by being himself. "Were you worried about people findin' out? Or what you'd be able to do in your life?"

"Of course I was." Harry watched Eggsy's eyes follow him, hanging on his words. "It stays with you every second of the day. You can't forget the distance between yourself and the people around you, and what they'd do if they knew." Harry closed his eyes. "So you learn to lie. Or pretend it doesn't exist. And then you can forget about it whilst in the company of others for five, ten minutes at a time, perhaps. But never for very long." When he opened them again, he found Eggsy studying him with a frown. "You know what that's like already, don't you? In a slightly different context, and I don't mean just with things between us. When I first met you, you were worried about what would happen if you were gay."

"Yeah. But I mean, I can't get married to another bloke here for real, and there's all kinds of problems, and people tryin' to fire you from jobs or beat you up and stuff. But it looks like there are other places where things are ok, even if I'm gay, or else that bookstore wouldn't be around. I'm still scared about what could happen, but it might end up bein' ok." Eggsy's frown deepened. "Nobody thinks you're ok, though. Well, 'cept me. And I guess Merlin."

"Pretty much." Harry shrugged. "As you can see, I've gotten used to it. My life is built around privacy now. I don't need the world to know my name, nor do I particularly want them to. I'm happy with the work I do for Kingsman instead. But like you said, you'll have other options someday." Harry lifted a hand to stroke his fingers over Eggsy's cheek. "You'll get to decide what you'd like to do with your own life, and I'd like you to have as many doors open to you as there can be."

Eggsy's expression turned downcast. The more he thought about it, the more he couldn't imagine living like Harry did. "I don't see how you could've gotten used to it. Don't you ever get lonely? Want to make friends?" Eggsy considered this, then shot Harry a look. "Friends that don't want to film you or have you kill people?"

A laugh broke out of Harry's throat at that. "Friends aren't supposed to make you feel alone. Merlin's been more of a friend to me than the vast majority of people I have ever met. I don't care whether he films me or asks me to kill for him. I'm not a very decent person all the time, but I can be a good friend. And that's better than being alone, or having to pretend for people who wouldn't approve." 

Eggsy opened his mouth to protest, then closed it. Harry had been mostly decent to him, except when he'd been very, _very_ indecent, and Eggsy wasn't going to deny those hurts. The boy supposed that when you were so alone for so long, perhaps you were more willing to accept anyone else who accepted you. "I still don't get it. And I still think that's weird an' more'n a bit creepy."

Harry really did smile that time. "Mhmm. It is weird. And creepy. Most definitely." But he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Eggsy's lips, soft and mostly chaste, but pleasant all the same. "But if you think I'm being taken advantage of, I can assure you I'm not. This goes both ways between myself and Merlin. And I hope you'll trust me when I say that much."

"It's a bit of that, and just..." Harry's fingers started to move again, trailing along Eggsy's spine, and the boy found it more difficult to concentrate. "I guess I can't tell you not to be friends, 'cause that ain't fair, but I don't like the idea of sharin' you like that. 'Specially with someone I don't know at all, and who doesn't care what I think."

Harry hummed. "You could always get to know each other. You've always danced around one another without ever really getting along. He would care what you think if you became a part of his life, if you actually liked him and were willing to spend time with him without judgement. Or you could leave each other be." 

Eggsy frowned and stiffened just a little bit. "I don't like him floatin' around and me not knowin' what he's like or up to. I don't know what I think about gettin' to know him neither. It's a bit hard to really want to get to know a bloke when you find out he's been watchin' you like a pervert. No 'ffense."

Harry's smile pulled into a grimace. "Understandable, but...you'll either have to come to an agreement between yourselves somehow, or you'll have to leave him be. He does mean very much to me as a friend, and that's not going to change." Harry hated giving this sort of ultimatum to Eggsy, but he couldn't do much more than that. Merlin would never hurt Eggsy. Harry would never allow it, and Merlin would never cross that line, but Harry couldn't stop the man from watching. 

Eggsy nodded, looking none too happy about it. He wanted to throw a fit and demand Harry not talk to Merlin anymore, but he believed Harry when he as much as said that he was never going to break off that friendship. Possibly he _couldn't_. He had to work with the man and entrust his life to him, and besides that, Merlin knew enough to be able to really hurt Harry if he was crossed. "I guess I gotta talk to him, then."

Harry stroked Eggsy's back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. "You don't have to if you don't want to. He may watch where he can, but I would never let him hurt you, and he's never been inclined to go against my wishes on that matter. ...if you try to talk to him without being open to any sort of compromise or resolution, it's not going to work." Harry had seen the two of them fight before. He'd seen them tentatively get along also, but they had a tendency to swing back and forth. 

"I thought you said he only hurts bad people, and he mostly makes _you_ do it," Eggsy pointed out. Eggsy supposed that he didn't mind so much if they were truly bad, except that by many people's standards, Harry would fall among them. "An' what sort of compromise? You said he's gonna keep watchin' me regardless, so there ain't anything for me to budge about, and I don't know what he could give me for me to be ok with him following me around with cameras even when you're no longer lookin' for me."

"See now that's the sort of thing that makes me think you're not going to get anywhere if you do talk to each other. And I said he _usually_ only hurts bad people." Harry frowned and Eggsy didn't look any happier. "I don't know what kind of compromise could be made. I don't believe he'll stop watching you when he can unless he has good incentive to. Right now I see you both sitting down with each other and neither of you willing to budge. You can talk to him and try, but you should keep that in mind."

"I don't know what'd be a good incentive to get him to stop watchin' me." Eggsy wrapped arms around himself, trying to merge the memories he did have of the man with the bad ones. Merlin had protected him, and tried to comfort and distract him. He'd taken Eggsy out places he thought he might like to go. He'd protected Harry and come to rescue them during the escape from the warehouse.

But Merlin had also lied to him, had a short temper, helped Harry manipulate him, and watched him in secret. And now Harry was telling him that sometimes Merlin _did_ hurt people who weren't bad, and that he wouldn't simply stop watching when asked. "Who's he hurt that wasn't bad?"

Harry sighed, knowing Eggsy wasn't going to like this. When he spoke, he chose his words carefully and didn't stop stroking Eggsy's back. "Usually people caught in the crossfire of who he's really after. It doesn't happen often, but it has happened on occasion. Then there are the people who had the potential to be drawn into doing things they'd regret. People who started out innocent, or had an inclination they chose not to take too far, until they were given the opportunity."

Eggsy frowned. Harry was making it all sound like things he'd heard on the telly, with comments about _collateral damage_ when favoured armed forces caused horrors they didn't mean. "What d'you mean, caught in the crossfire? Like he goes after someone bad and their girlfriend or something gets shot during the fight? Either someone is bad or they ain't. I dunno about this whole innocent business, but people do stuff or they don't."

Harry shook his head, knowing he was about to speak damning words. "Not quite so literally. It is very rarely, if ever, that we kill someone we didn't mean to. We were once after a budding sadist, for example. The man had the inclination and the desire was strong enough, but he'd never gone too far before. We saw to it that he did. He took another's life with the help of my encouragement, and then he was sent to prison." 

Eggsy went pale and still. Wide eyes were turned towards Harry. "Wh-what? You... you mean, to make sure he was caught, you made sure he killed someone? And you just, like... picked out someone and made sure he got 'em? How's that fair? Couldn't you just kill the bastards before they hurt anyone? How come you just pick to let people die?"

Harry closed his eyes and then forced them open again, nodding. "Because Merlin asked me to." 

Eggsy was right. Harry could have killed that man before he'd hurt anyone. Harry himself could have played the victim in that scenario even, and then turned it all around at the very end. But that wasn't the point. That wasn't what Merlin wanted to see. The ruin would have been missing. Harry's hand stilled on Eggsy's back. He wanted to tell Eggsy he was sorry for those deaths. But it would be of little consequence. 

Eggsy withdrew a little. His arms left Harry's sides and wrapped around himself, and his gaze dropped. Harry saw a glimmer of tears rim the boy's eyes. "Then he's an evil arsehole. Isn't he? Why are you even friends with him? 'Cause nobody else is alright with _you_? At least you ain't killin' anyone by yourself, 'cause you want to. Right? He just wants them dead. 'Cause he's a creep who can't stop watchin' people or wantin' weird stuff." 

Harry frowned. When he spoke, he did so quietly. "Merlin may have asked me to, but I still did it. You're being very careful to draw this line between the two of us. And there are differences, I'll grant you, but I still did it, and he is still my friend." Harry didn't try to reach out again. He watched Eggsy swallow, the small tendons in his throat working as he took in Harry's words. How Harry wanted to know what he was thinking, even though he could guess. More than that, he wanted to know if there could ever be any sliver of acceptance in Eggsy's mind over something like this. 

" _Why_? Why would you? Friend or not, I don't know if I could ever just set someone up for bein' murdered 'cause they asked me." Eggsy felt dizzy and faint. He remembered the times Merlin had been kind and soft-spoken towards him, when he hadn't been angry. He remembered all the soft, tender moments between himself and Harry. Eggsy found it hard to reconcile the two with the knowledge that both men had planned and executed murders, even if the actual perpetrators got punished afterwards.

"Kingsman has general codes of ethics. I do follow them, and it does mean something to me." Harry drew a deep breath. "But I have been in this business for a long time now. It doesn't...phase me any longer." Harry's hand brushed against Eggsy's side, unsure if his touch would be welcomed as comfort or if Eggsy would pull away. What was more, he didn't know if this, too, would be a breaking point in Eggsy's opinion of him, and their relationship in turn. Eggsy could be tough, but he had a kind heart. 

"So they don't care? _You_ don't care, if someone good gets killed, so long as you get what you want?" Eggsy flinched. He wasn't afraid of Harry hurting him anymore, at least physically, but his mind shied away from the idea of Harry and his friend killing innocents to lure bad people into traps. "Or your _friend_ , I guess. You want someone to like you so much that you'll kill people for it, or do you like doin' it too?"

"I have very little feeling about it. Or I have chosen not to, would be more accurate. I know what I did to that man was a terrible thing. I didn't enjoy ending his life. But I did enjoy watching Merlin. I did enjoy doing it for him." Harry tried and failed to think of a way to explain it better. "As annoying as I've been, I believe he felt the same way about helping me, which was...partially why he watches. He's become somewhat invested in us." 

Eggsy watched Harry with a broken look. He was confused, repulsed, and more than a small hint of fear was creeping back into him. "He likes watchin' that sort of thing, and you like watchin' him havin' fun. So you did it for him. And he helped you, even knowin' you were hurtin' me and my mum. Was that 'cause he was returnin' the favor for you helpin' him kill people, or 'cause he likes watchin' people get hurt?"

"He was doing it as a favour to me. I doubt he had any investment in your mother getting hurt. That was...simply a means to an end in getting you." Harry's gaze dropped, watching Eggsy's posture grow more rigid. He thought that maybe if he didn't hold the boy's eyes for long, he might not be so intimidating. Harry was grasping at straws to salvage even a bit of this conversation. "He was never invested in hurting you, either." Harry couldn't help it though, he looked back up into Eggsy's eyes. 

"But he likes hurtin' other people. Just not me, for some reason." Eggsy found the notion hard to believe. Harry was reserved, almost timid and afraid in his avoidance, and it didn't matter. Eggsy felt full of fire and ice at the same time. "Is that how you both reason through stuff? Means to an end, that sort of thing? It don't matter what happens so long as you get what you want?"

"That was generally the principal of it, yes," Harry said. His voice went flat. "I knew you would mean something more to me even from the very beginning. But what I was willing to do to get to you...." Harry sighed, unable to wipe away the furrow of chastisement in his brow. "Merlin is different. But I am his friend and I mean something to him, and so he never mentioned getting any enjoyment out of targeting you or your family in that way. If he considered it at all, he must have put the idea aside."

"Oh, that makes it better. Maybe he was having fun but he decided to _politely_ not mention it." Eggsy stared back at Harry, who was still making himself so carefully blank, and felt all the more angry that Harry was trying to shield himself. As far as Eggsy was concerned, he deserved to feel every bit of the anger and chastisement. "So anything goes, so long as you're friends. Do I get that same deal? I get to ask for whatever I want and you'll agree, 'cause we're friends and I mean so much to you?"

Harry's stillness changed. Instead of holding back, he looked into Eggsy's eyes, straight into the boy. "You have no idea what I'd do for you," Harry breathed. He meant it. He'd made himself stay away from Eggsy for so long, at Eggsy's request, in spite of everything. But Harry had the sense that he would do far more if Eggsy really wanted him to. It wasn't quite the same situation as with Merlin. It was not the long camaraderie of working together, but another kind of devotion. He only feared the boy would ask him to do something about Merlin. 

Eggsy stared hard at Harry, all sorts of thoughts flitting through his head. He thought about everything that had happened, and all the people he'd met. People who'd hurt and frightened him. People who had hurt his mother, or enabled her downward spiral. Anger flared up again, and trickled out of the boy's mouth before he could consider his words. "I want them gone. Dean and his boys what worked for him. I can't make him never have hurt my mum, but I don't want him hurtin' anyone else or sittin' on his arse in prison while my mum drowns herself. Or for him to get out and try to get her back again. I want 'im gone."

Harry's brow furrowed for a split second before he realised what the boy must have thought. "Eggsy, Dean is already dead. When I told you I'd take him out of your life, I didn't mean sending him to prison." Harry didn't break their gaze. He had no idea how Eggsy would react to this news, whether the boy really wanted Dean gone like that or whether he'd just said it in a moment of spite, nor did he know how Eggsy would react to Harry having taken such initiative back then. Even though Harry had no other methods in mind when he'd made that promise, Eggsy obviously had. 

Eggsy's eyes widened in surprise and shock. He'd never considered that Harry might have simply killed Dean out of hand, even when he'd been afraid of Harry killing him. Eggsy knew he was what was considered a 'loose end', someone who knew too much for certain people to be comfortable with him running free and able to spill all the secrets people wanted hidden. Dean was a nobody in comparison, someone who'd been convenient to manipulate to Harry's advantage. There'd been no real need to get rid of him. "I didn't know. I thought you just packed him off somewhere. Did you think I'd want him dead, or were you just done with him?"

Harry shrugged one shoulder. "I had thought it would be most important to you that he was simply gone and unable to come back. And I didn't want him having any sway over you or your mother again. He needed to be out of her life completely before she went to the clinic. Disappearing was a better option than most." Harry moistened his lips and swallowed. Eggsy's shock spoke volumes. He really hadn't known what Harry would do for him. 

Eggsy nodded slowly, but Harry's words only sunk in gradually. From what he'd said, it sounded more like Harry had killed Dean for Eggsy's benefit, rather than to get rid of a tool that had outlived his usefulness. Strange, to mentally adjust to the fact that all of the time Eggsy had wondered and worried about where Dean or his friends might be, that the man had been in the ground somewhere and unable to touch them ever again. "You ever do anythin' else like that for me, that I don't know about?"

"Only one of your mother's boyfriends before Dean, the first one who hit her, although I think you already knew that. And I didn't kill him, only roughed him up a bit and sent him away with instructions not to return," Harry sighed. "When you were gone, I didn't go after anyone you did business with. But if I had found out any of them had ever hurt you...." Harry glanced down and his thumbs came up to rest along Eggsy's thighs, barely a touch at all, but he still wanted to feel even that much closer. 

"You'll hurt anyone that hurt me, except you and your friend," Eggsy countered quietly. "So what do I ask of you, then, to show that you're both sorry?" Eggsy couldn't think of another wish, now that he knew Dean was gone and his mother was, at least, saved from him if not from herself or a future boyfriend. Harry had suffered, as Eggsy had seen in the warehouse, and yet the suffering wasn't connected to what he'd done. Besides, Eggsy didn't really want to see Harry like that again, so beaten down that he struggled to move and couldn't keep up the hope that he was going to survive.

Harry opened his mouth, but it took a moment before words came out. "I don't know." He didn't know if Merlin would ever be sorry. He doubted it unless the man was somehow forced to stop working with Harry, and even still Merlin would probably be more angry than regretful. "There are many ways you can make me sorry, Eggsy. You can send me away, never speak to me again. You can leave even if you accept my help, financially. But I'm not sure the same can be said for Merlin."

"Bein' sad ain't the same thing as bein' sorry, you know. Leavin' would only make you _sad_." Harry would mourn the loss of contact, as he had when Eggsy had been living on the streets, but Eggsy doubted he'd be _sorry_. He'd as much said that everything had been a product of the man's loneliness, obsession, and alienation. Harry had had nothing, with the clock next to any opportunities ticking down in his mind, and desperate people with nothing left to lose will do anything to get a little slice of happiness. "I just don't feel like I can do much. Like you win no matter what."

"Win?" Harry's expression finally broke. "You still think you're fighting with me? Competing with me? Eggsy...if you don't 'win', then I lose no matter what. You think I just missed you while you were out there and that's all that I cared about? Your life, your future, was gone because of me and I knew it. I missed you terribly, but that wasn't all that I felt." Harry's wall of composure was broken. His body longed to move but he couldn't. 

"I _am_ though!" Eggsy nearly shouted, and it make the following silence echo all the louder. "I tried not thinkin' about you, not likin' you anymore. I _tried_ to hate you. I tried stayin' away as long as I could, an' that didn't last very long. I tried to find someone else, only I kept comparin' things an'... I just couldn't find anybody. I tried not thinkin' about you when doin' things, 'cause I missed it and I guess I missed you too. I couldn't even resist even when I was fuckin' pissed as hell at you and you were beat to hell and back and when someone might've noticed. Or watched, 'cause I didn't even know how much stuff was in your room there. I couldn't stop."

"I couldn't either," Harry's voice softened and he lifted his hands to frame Eggsy's face, fearful for a moment to touch before they alighted over his ears and gently stroked his hair. "You don't think I know it would be better for you to leave me, to take what I can give you but live your own life with someone who's never hurt you like I have? Why do you think I keep talking about it that way? Or do you still believe this is all just a game for me and I'll never be affected?" Harry had to stop to just breathe. He could feel how tense Eggsy was under his hands. He wondered if the boy could tell how he was trembling. 

"Isn't it? You could go just about anywhere and get someone else. Some of the blokes I ran for even joked about that sort of thing, like I had t'be careful in case someone took me along with their delivery. Or that I'd be worth more than I made as a runner if they changed their business a bit." Eggsy's shoulders hunched in defence. He felt short of breath and, rather than being comforting, Harry's gentle touches set off Eggsy's nerves even more. For a moment, the boy entertained the thought of what might happen if he balled a fist up and punched Harry. "What am I, even, for you? And why me, when you could've gone after _anyone_? You coulda even found someone that looked like me."

Slowly, Harry pulled his hands away. "I love you. I fell in love with you. I might as well ask you why you never found someone else. Am I still attracted to other boys like you? Yes. But have I any interest in searching one out? No." Harry sighed. "When I tried, all I could think about was you. I haven't tried again. I don't know when I'd be able to. It both comforts and pains me to hear that you're in the same position, knowing how I've hurt you and that you're unable to move on, still." 

Eggsy sighed and stared up at Harry. "...well, least you're bein' honest so far about everythin'. Far as I can tell, which is somethin'. I just sorta picked you in part 'cause, I guess, you were there an' were just so close to a lot of the stuff I was already thinkin' about, or once I started to like you I started to like the other things I thought I'd never like. You picked me, though, and I dunno why. You could've picked anyone."

Harry frowned. "You lingered on my mind. You were beautiful. Captivating. Enough to want to watch you, and then...and then I started to fall. That must seem like little more than chance from your perspective." He thought about it for a long minute. "Perhaps it was. Perhaps it was a perfect chance that held on just long enough to build into something far greater." He wanted to touch Eggsy again. Here the boy was still sitting in his lap, but had put so much distance between them. Distance enough to talk, enough to argue, and a part of Harry was glad that Eggsy was capable enough to do that, but his instincts to comfort the boy were nearly overwhelming. 

"Watchin' me," Eggsy murmured to himself. His gaze shifted sideways as he retreated into himself, pursuing that thought. After a few moments a spark entered his eyes, and he turned back towards Harry with a suspiciously determined look. "Y'know, we're still not equal on that. You've watched me way more than I got a chance to watch you. And you sorta said you'd do a lot for me if I just asked. So I'm gonna ask."

Eggsy's back straightened and he leaned forward, practically daring Harry to look away or refuse him. "I want what you got, but for me instead of for you. You can start with pictures, like the ones you took of me that time. I wanna see more of the mission videos of you, if I can, if it ain't against some Kingsman rules. I wanna see how different you are when you're bein' someone else. And if your _friend_ wants to _start_ makin' things up to me, he'll hook up a bunch of stuff in here I can control so I can watch you, just like you watched me. He'll prob'ly even like doin' it, since you said he likes watchin' you so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join us this Saturday (6/17) for the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)
> 
> Heads up, next week's chapter will be late.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! 
> 
> It's been a long time. We've had a lot of life and health difficulties while we were away, but we're getting into the schedule of writing again and hopefully you'll see more of this story as usual. As always, thanks for sticking with us.

Harry's eyebrows climbed higher and higher. "You want...not only to see what mission footage I can pull together, but control over the cameras in my house?" Eggsy only stared, daring Harry to back down, and Harry blinked, his mind a whirl with the idea of it. It _was_ fitting. And it also sparked something in him, some little joy at the idea of Eggsy wanting to see him like that, even if the boy was only doing it for revenge. Still, as Eggsy had said, he wanted to get to know Harry and there were nigh insurmountable hurdles to being able to do that without enough time and with Eggsy always second guessing him in person. Harry swallowed. "I should be able to give you footage from completed missions, jobs that are no longer ongoing and with no loose ends to tie up. As for the house...all I'd have to do is turn on the cameras and have Merlin set you up with a laptop and the operations program."

"An' they get turned off when I'm over here. I don't want him watchin' me here, even if I can't keep him from bein' a creep when I'm walkin' around London," Eggsy insisted. "You got to know all sorts of things about me from watchin' me all the time. I'm almost returnin' the favour, except I'm bein' nice about it. I'm askin', and you're gonna know I'm watchin', if not when."

Slowly, Harry nodded. "Okay. We can do that." He wasn't sure if he was nervous about Eggsy seeing him in his daily routine, even the most private moments, or excited. Already Harry wondered whether Eggsy would see such a thing and think about his time living at the house with Harry and going through those routines together, or whether Eggsy would see Harry sitting about the house alone and begin to think him pathetic. Harry had never thought of Eggsy that way, even when the boy did the most ridiculous things thinking he was unobserved. Harry could only hope for the first scenario. Either way, Harry couldn't deny Eggsy this opportunity. "I'll collect what I can from Kingsman this week, and perhaps then I can set you up with a laptop with those archives and access to the feeds from the house."

"Yeah. We're gonna have to think of what to tell the Wilsons, though. They know I didn't have a laptop with me when I came to live with them." Eggsy hadn't thought Harry would agree so readily, and now he was thrown that he wasn't going to have to fight for it, or have one more complaint to throw at Harry in the heat of a moment. Part of the boy had only been able to think in terms of pure revenge, having Harry feel the same insecurity and lack of privacy that he'd had. Another part of him had insisted that observation might be one of the few ways to be certain about who Harry really was; no one, no matter how skilled, could maintain a lie all of the time. Harry might present himself in certain ways when Eggsy was around, but the boy thought he might see different sides of Harry if he got to observe him at other times, or when Harry hadn't counted on Eggsy being able to see him at all. Instances like footage from missions.

"We should be able to use the excuse of it being for your studies. I'll send it along with your tutor and we can tell them I applied for its purchase with a grant from care funding. They won't have to pay for it, and they won't have to worry I did either." Harry watched Eggsy as the boy looked a little more uncertain than he had before. Harry knew he wasn't arguing like Eggsy had thought he would, but he didn't think that would help either. Eggsy may have been angry and may have wanted to see Harry knocked down in order to feel like he was indeed 'winning' something, but Harry didn't think actually being upset would help anything between them in the long run. 

"Alright. I guess that'll work. So long as you make it so I can hide that stuff if they wanna check on what I'm doin' with it." Michelle had been nosy every once in a while even when she'd known Eggsy was staying out of trouble. The Wilsons didn't have reason to suspect anything, but that's what parental figures did - they pried. Eggsy's chin lowered and his gaze settled somewhere around Harry's collar, examining the juxtaposition of knotted silk and crisp cotton against flushed skin. "...can I have some of the wine we used to have? Or d'you think they'll notice when I get back?"  
Harry huffed a laugh, as much for the relief of tension as for the incongruity of Eggsy's request. "I think that would be fine, so long as you eat something after to cover up any lingering aroma. And make sure you don't kiss anyone goodnight," Harry added with a half-smile. He didn't really want Eggsy to get off his lap, but he knew a change would be nice. Even a small bit of wine might improve the mood. He rested his hand on Eggsy's lower back before allowing the boy up. "I believe I still have some in the pantry." 

Eggsy slid off and got to his feet, watching Harry rise gracefully and lead the way towards the kitchen. Eggsy couldn't help the pang of envy that struck him. Even when upset, Harry was so put together, sleek and controlled and elegant. Eggsy felt a mess in comparison, and resentful for it. He wanted to see Harry when he wasn't so controlled and well-shielded, both for his sense of equality and to ease his own self-consciousness at how often Harry had seen him broken down and in tears. "What d'you do when I'm not over here an' you're not workin'?"

Harry glanced over his shoulder. "Usually the same things you'd remember me doing while you were here. I like to read before bed, occasionally binge watch some telly...." Harry found the bottle Eggsy was hoping for and came out of the pantry with a small smile for the boy. "Fetch me the bottle opener, would you please?" he asked, just to give Eggsy something to do. It occurred to Harry that over the time they'd been apart there were things in his life that had changed. "I confess I've had less personal pleasures. I take work home with me, and sometimes I plan for Merlin's projects in the evenings. I hadn't been to the cinema in ages before you came back."

Eggsy went around him, moving to the right drawer without hesitation. Only after he'd opened it and drawn out the bottle opener did the boy pause and look at the device in his hand. So long, and yet he still remembered where things were. He could picture the whole house, more or less, if Harry hadn't moved things around. "So you're bored? That's what it sounds like, if you're bringin' work home and doin' projects so you've got something t'do. I can't imagine not wanting to go to the movies. I missed that when I... couldn't, for a while. I didn't get paid much, even after I stopped worryin' about you grabbin' me."

Harry's mouth pulled into a frown at that, but he accepted the bottle opener from Eggsy. "Not a very lucrative business for the runners, I'd imagine," Harry said before the bottle gave a loud pop and he reached for the glasses. "I don't know if I'd say I was bored. Those were the things I kept myself occupied with, and it worked. I was simply...in a state of limbo. Listless while constantly in motion." He handed the cork to Eggsy to put in the jar with the others Harry kept while a small part of him delighted that Eggsy still remembered all these things. 

Eggsy turned it over in his hands, enjoying the spongy feel of the wood before rising up on the balls of his feet to reach the jar and drop it in. "So not bored then, but sad? You just didn't _want_ to do stuff? I was sad about everything but I still wanted to go places. I couldn't, though. With all the hidin' at first, but also not havin' much money or time to do stuff. I had to wait around for the orders, then run the route as quick as I could, but it'd still take a while. And then it'd be too late to go out, or too dangerous, and I'd be tired. I slept whenever I could 'cause people were pretty noisy and there wasn't much room, so I had to take the couch or whatever when it was empty for a bit. It's actually been weird havin' a proper bed again and not hearing people talkin' or a telly runnin' all the time."

"It sounds like they kept you very busy." Harry leaned against the counter and offered a glass to Eggsy, the wine filled a little less than Harry's. He wanted to reach out and touch Eggsy again, but settled for their fingers brushing as Eggsy took the glass from his hand. He thought about all the times Eggsy could have gotten into trouble, either with a client or one of his own, or even with the police, and then Harry thought about what he was doing at the time and didn't find it much better. Merlin had had to drag him out of near suicide missions more than once. Harry took a sip of the wine, enjoying the light flavour and the way it reminded him of the last time they'd shared it, and the times before that. "Do you miss anyone you knew there?"

Eggsy thought for a few moments, but the long silence was answer enough. "...not really, I guess. They weren't exactly mean to me, but I also know they were makin' a lot of money. They could've paid me more, 'cept they knew I had nowhere to go. Nowhere that wasn't worse, anyways. I saw some... stuff, at some of the places I delivered to." Eggsy took a sip of his wine to try to wash the bad taste out of his mouth, but wine wouldn't erase the sights and sounds from his memory. "Sometimes I got to play cards with people, drink a bit. They brought me back candy, or I nicked some while I was out and by a store. Nobody was really a friend though. They didn't care about me or what happened to me, just that I didn't get caught or robbed and lose their stuff or their money."

Harry nodded and stared into his glass. "You haven't had the kind of care you should have had for a long time." He didn't want Eggsy to go through anything like that again. He didn't want Eggsy to lose anyone else in his life, few people as there were. He wanted Eggsy to have more, to find their way into the boy's life and make it...the opposite of what Harry had done for him. Intentions in the long run be damned, Harry had taken that kind of care from him. Harry tried not to let it show on his face as he thought about it. They'd been over this. Eggsy didn't need to hear it again. He just needed a few people to actually care about him. 

"Yeah, I guess, but that's been true for a while, ain't it? I mean..." Eggsy frowned and leaned back against the counter. "Really, I had it best when I was with you. My mum really tried, but it was too hard with it just bein' her by herself, and not havin' any good jobs. And I know she spent too much goin' out and drinkin', leavin' me home alone, although I know now it was probably 'cause she was tired and wanted a break for a bit. Or maybe one of her shite boyfriends talked her into it, I dunno. I just know everythin' could've been a lot worse."

Harry bit his lip and stared at Eggsy. "You really think that? That in spite of everything you suspect about my motives, you had it best living here, with me?" He knew the boy had alluded to it, no matter how much he accused Harry of not really loving him. Every time Eggsy talked about coming back, as though he wasn't really thinking about it or as though he didn't realise how impossible that would be if he believed deep down that Harry had just been using him for one thing, Harry noticed. 

Eggsy shifted uncomfortably. He could feel the weight of Harry's gaze settling on him, and the boy didn't think Harry's surprise was feigned. "I... y-yeah. You let me be myself and told me it was ok. I didn't have to worry about not havin' enough to eat, or freezin' in the winter, or you bringin' home someone that might hurt you or me or both of us. You were busy and probably tired but you still took time to do stuff with me besides, y'know, sex and stuff. Even if it wasn't a telly show you liked, or you didn't know nothin' about comics. You did stuff to manipulate me, and lied and all that, but you... took pretty good care of me, really."

Eggsy's voice grew quieter, and he spun the stem of his wine glass between his fingers. He risked a nervous glance at Harry. "An' you keep sayin' that you loved me. Or still do. I dunno. You at least _cared_. I got to see what happened, on the street, with people who didn't care. What happened to kids like me. I know you'd never do that kinda stuff to me."

Harry set his glass on the counter and took a step closer before he folded down to his knee. Eggsy may well have rejected him for all they had just talked about, but Harry's gut told him otherwise, and he couldn't stop himself besides. He wrapped his arms around the boy and buried his nose in Eggsy's chest, inhaling deeply. Eggsy was still familiar even with the scents of a new home lingering on his shirt. 

Harry pulled back a little and didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry you had to live like that," was what came out, even though a tiny voice in his mind had wanted to say 'thank you'.

Eggsy floundered, briefly touching the older man's hair before leaning to set his wine glass aside. He hadn't expected such a gesture, or been prepared for the responding swell of emotion it prompted inside of him. "I... yeah. Can't change it now. You can only make up for it." Harry was so close, kneeling so that Eggsy was just a bit taller than him rather than being towered over. Eggsy remembered all too well how dangerous Harry was, but in the warm light of the kitchen and shortened like that, he looked soft. Eggsy set his palm against Harry's cheek without even thinking, prompted by an impulse to touch.

A smile graced Harry's lips. He bent his head into Eggsy's hand, still so much smaller than his own. "Yes. That is true," Harry said quietly. "You've grown up a lot. You were always very smart. Very grown up already. I liked that we could talk together about real things," Harry laughed, "You might not know how much I liked that. But the things you've said to me these past weeks.... Eggsy, you've been more resilient than most people I've ever met." He closed his eyes and let the feel of Eggsy's palm ground him in the moment.

"I always could've talked about real things. People just never treated me like a real person. I was just a stupid kid to them, except to you." Eggsy bit at his lower lip, swallowing down a pulse of anger and sadness. "I didn't really get much choice about the whole toughness thing. I just had to. I mean, I could've stayed pissed about everything. I was stealin' stuff for a bit not just 'cause I didn't get paid much as a runner, but 'cause I was just... mad. Mad that everyone else was workin' things out and happy, that they could get what they wanted and needed, that they didn't have to worry or deal with any of the shite I was and did. It wasn't fair, so I took stuff, even if I didn't really want or need it, 'cause it was takin' _somethin'_ away from them so they could feel a little disappointment and hurt for once. I dunno if I'm gonna stop bein' angry for a while."

Harry nodded. He could understand that. He could understand why Eggsy would want to hurt him, too, and why the boy might take that anger out on others when Harry had been so far out of his reach. This plan Eggsy had come up with was designed to do just the same. Not just to hurt Harry, perhaps, but to throw him off, make him feel the way Eggsy had felt, and ultimately give Eggsy the same power Harry had had. 

Harry took the boy's hand from his cheek and pressed his lips to it in a chaste kiss before he let Eggsy have it back. "I'd very much like it if you could be happy again someday." If Eggsy needed some sense of control over Harry for that to happen, then so be it. 

"So do I," Eggsy murmured. He stared back at Harry in silence for a few moments, taking in the older man's sincerity - or, at least, projected sincerity. Eggsy remembered how harsh Harry could look when angry or focused, as he had in the train yard or during their escape, but under the lights of the kitchen Harry just looked soft and worn. Eggsy paused another heartbeat, then stepped closer, nearly pushing Harry back. Kneeling as Harry was, Eggsy didn't even have to strain upwards to kiss him and taste the matched hint of wine on Harry's lips.

Harry relaxed into it. The pull was immediate. He didn't even think about it but to make sure that Eggsy felt he was wanted, and that he was, indeed, loved. His arms wrapped around the boy's back and held Eggsy there, gentle and firm. 

They both breathed when they broke apart, but Harry didn't retreat far. Eggsy knew Merlin wouldn't be watching him here, not now at least. Harry couldn't say whether that made a difference in Eggsy's decision to kiss him in spite of all the things they'd discussed, but he was grateful that the boy still wanted to. He stroked Eggsy's hair and searched the boy's face. "Would you like to stay a bit longer tonight?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I wanna stay a bit. You promise, though, you're gonna follow through with everythin'? The cameras and stuff?" Eggsy was gunshy about promises now, from anyone. He had little way of ensuring that Harry would truly give him what he wanted - uncensored full-time access to view everything in his home life, just as had happened to Eggsy for however many years Harry had been spying on him and letting his friend tag along.

"Yes, I will, and I promise." Harry offered a small smile. "It won't take very long. Then you'll be seeing me every day." His smile lightened at the end, and again Harry wondered how Eggsy would feel about watching him. He certainly remembered how he felt about watching Eggsy - a mix of love and longing and a feeling of closeness even with the inability to touch. But Harry was used to watching people on surveillance, and he wasn't Eggsy. 

Still, the boy was here with him now. He'd get one more night. Every time Eggsy came to him asking for more now, Harry thought of it as 'just one more night'. One more night he may never get to have again.

* * *

Merlin glanced up from his monitors at the sound of a polite knock. He recognized the exact cadence, the force behind the rapping and the pause between each impact. The corners of his mouth turned briefly upwards and he hit the lock button he'd recently installed on the underside of his desk. "Door's open. Come in." As expected, the handle turned and Harry slipped through the door, closing it behind himself. Merlin hit the button again to ensure they wouldn't be interrupted. "Something on your mind? I'm not quite ready for the next project yet."

"Actually, I have a project for you." Harry noted the softness around Merlin's eyes and a small smile lit across his face in return. "In somewhat of a turnabout, we've had a request. One for archived footage of missions I've done, any that rely heavily on my involvement, and...," Harry didn't know exactly how Merlin was going to take the last part, but the next would likely be understandable, "and for you to link up the cameras inside my house to a laptop where they can be viewed remotely, of which I will then hand over to Egssy." 

"...really." To any other eye, Merlin would have seemed unsurprised, even bored. Harry knew better. "After being frightened by the footage he viewed, he wants more of it? Are you certain that's entirely wise? Wiring up a system to watch you sounds like simple turnabout for vengeance, and I can't imagine you objecting to the boy wanting to see more of you, but I would have thought you would have wanted to shelter him from the more graphic footage. Being told about things and knowing they occurred is one thing, but watching is something else entirely."

"That is the part I'm worried about," Harry admitted. He laid his hands over the back of his usual chair and leaned against it, not quite relaxed enough to sit and yet not quite comfortable standing in his usual straight backed posture. "I had to tell him, what I could anyhow, about my work on your projects. And he wants to know more. He's either going to decide I'm a despicable person or he's going to come to some conclusion in between that and what he thought of me before. The point is that I.... I can't tell him what he wants to hear anymore. He won't believe it."

Merlin raised a brow, and his slight smile vanished. A stiffness entered the set of his shoulders and back. "Ah. So he now knows the difference between official assignments and the personal projects I've been sending you on? I can't imagine that's going to make future interactions more pleasant. Of course he won't simply trust your words, at this point. He wants proof and details to validate what you're telling him. What I wonder is if he's entirely trustworthy for such materials. It's both our necks, you realize, if he decides that the content of those videos crosses the line of what he's willing to tolerate."

"He's asked for mission footage, Kingsman footage. Not your personal projects. He said he wants to see how different I am when I'm being someone else. I think...my word on our projects is good enough for him for now." Harry sighed. He didn't know what he'd say if it came to that, nor what Merlin would allow him to show Eggsy. Harry just knew that if Eggsy ever did see those files, he wouldn't be allowed to keep them. "I know for a fact he wouldn't react well to seeing that footage."

"Neither would I react well to being made to give him such footage, even on a temporary basis. That's a particular security exemption I haven't prepared for and don't particularly care to ever have to test. Eggsy has feelings and some residual loyalty to you, at the very least. He has no such attachments or reasons for being particularly fond of me." Merlin leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk. "Have you planned for that risk, with Kingsman footage? If he decides that what he sees severs those feelings and that loyalty, we're both going to be in danger, and so will he. Arthur won't permit a potential or actual liability to be walking around free. He's already at risk, given that he knows how to get to headquarters. If Arthur finds out he has digital copies of mission footage and sensitive documents, he may try to arrange an accident."

"Limited access is going to be key. Either he reviews mission footage on that laptop remotely, without download or image capture capabilities, or he reviews the footage from my home. The latter seems preferable, but more difficult to coordinate regularly. He'd already be in deep enough with Arthur if Arthur found out how much he knows." Harry finally took his chair and swivelled to face Merlin. "I won't ask you to let him view your work. On that, he can have my word alone."

"Good. I'm not particularly comfortable with him viewing that. For either of our sakes." Merlin frowned, and his gaze lowered and turned distant as he thought, cataloguing the different options available to them and what each would entail. "I can arrange for house camera feeds to be viewed on a laptop. Encrypted connection and transmission, with limited access and no capability to save or capture any portion of the files."

"That should do." Harry nodded. "And I'll collect the mission footage for him to review from my home office." Eggsy might not appreciate that at first since his time at Harry's would be limited, but Harry couldn't very well leave those files on a laptop someone else might find whether Eggsy wanted them to or not. That would be damning enough already with surveillance from Harry's house, but at least it wouldn't put Kingsman in jeopardy. 

Harry glanced up to find Merlin watching him. "He's been opening up, little by little. And then he'll remember something he doesn't like and he'll shut down." Merlin knew when Harry went to visit Eggsy. If he'd been keeping track, he might have even seen them on excursions out of the house. 

"He's trying to reconcile opposing memories and emotions. I would take it as encouragement. He wouldn't bother even making the attempt if he wasn't still in love with you." Merlin's fingers tapped thoughtfully against the desk. Advise on relationships and emotions weren't truly his forte, but by now he was used to assuming the role of councillor and comforter where Harry was concerned. It was one more thing to add an element of closeness to their friendship, and besides which, Harry had no one else to turn to. "He needs to be able to process and work through the negatives, preferably _with_ you. He'll also need older positives reinforced through repetition, and augmented with new positive experiences. Stack the deck so that the good outweighs the bad, so to speak."

Harry gave a short nod. "Some of that he's going to need to do with me, but some he's going to need to do without me. He still believes he's fighting me, that we're in competition in a manner of speaking. He still believes I have all the power. And you, too." Harry thought back to the night at his house. He'd been torn over what Eggsy might ask him to do. Or might ask Merlin to do, more specifically. "He has a say in what I can and can't do with him now, but not so with you. That upset him." Harry frowned and ran a hand over his face. He knew what he'd said to Eggsy. He didn't want to take that away from Merlin, but in so doing, Harry had taken something out of Eggsy's hands again. Something he shouldn't have had in the first place. 

"Well, yes. The power imbalance will always remain by virtue of your respective ages, experiences, and training. He's at a disadvantage for most things, and you're simply limiting yourself and willingly accommodating and compromising with him. He can make demands as a requirement for retaining a relationship with him, and you're agreeing because you desire that." Merlin leaned back in his chair, and the look he gave Harry could only be described as cautious. He knew what Eggsy meant to Harry, and the lengths to which he'd gone to obtain and keep the boy. "I don't have any particular relationship with him. He has no say on what I choose to do with my time or abilities."

Harry's eyes dropped. "I told him as much." He'd been more certain that night with Eggsy. "I know why you do what you do. I don't want to take that away from you, nor could I if I did ask and you declined." Harry could see Merlin's carefully held posture out of the corner of his eye. The man was more vulnerable here than ever, even if he refused to show it. "But all I can think about is that he's not wrong." Eggsy had been so angry, and so helpless. He could fight Harry, but he had no power against Merlin following him wherever he wanted whatsoever. 

"He can be upset with me if he wishes. Likely he was already going to be so." Silence fell between the two men. It was a measure of how upset Merlin was that he kept so absolutely still, even his breathing turning shallow enough to barely be detectable. It gave the impression of something cornered and frozen, trying to avert a blow by passing beneath notice. "He and I don't have a friendship, and he has nothing to offer me in exchange. I should hope that you know... that it was already difficult to adjust to the cameras being terminated after so long. I have very few outlets or lasting interests in my life, and I don't want to be put in a position of having to make a difficult choice."

Without thinking, Harry reached out. His hand clasped around Merlin's forearm and held tight. "I know," he whispered. He kept his gaze off Merlin. If the man didn't want to be touched, he'd remove Harry, but Harry wasn't going to pin him with both his hand and his eyes at the same time. And damn, Harry did know. He knew this was wrong, that by every measure of common sense Eggsy should be able to feel free of their watch, but Harry couldn't ask it of Merlin. Either way, he was betraying one of them, all ethics aside. It wasn't lost on Harry that the only reason he considered it was because of his attachment to Eggsy and how much it upset the boy. Harry had no qualms over their work for anyone else, nor even himself when it came to surveillance. But Harry was going to have to live with that. "I know what you've given up. I won't ask for more." 

"I am sorry that it upsets him. Perhaps he might feel better that my interest mostly isn't in him, per se, but his connection to you, although he holds a certain fascination by being a very unusual child in a number of respects." Merlin stared at the hand on his arm and, after a moment, covered it with his own - one more red flag regarding the man's levels of distress, given how little he was prone to indulging in physical touch. "It's not my intention to upset him. It's... how I relate to the world. I don't know if he'd be able to understand it, as few people have the capacity to do so. I don't have many ways of making and retaining connections."

Harry's mouth turned up. "I don't know either. And I don't know, even if he could understand that that's how you relate to the world, whether he'd be able to overlook the things you and I have done in our projects, and done to him. He usually has very strong ethics, and we have hurt him directly." Harry couldn't force Eggsy to understand Merlin, nor if Eggsy did would it take away what they'd done, but it still pained him that the two were once again in opposition to one another in many respects, even while they were trying to avoid each other. 

"We have, but the primary difference is that he has affection for you and seems willing to entertain the thought of looking past that in your case. He has no reason to feel any endearment towards me, and I'm probably bearing a large portion of his anger, redirected from you for being your accomplice." Merlin flashed a quick, bitter smile. To anyone, much less a youth of Eggsy's age, it wouldn't matter that the hurt wasn't personal. Merlin had chosen to help his friend, and because he was the less liked of the two, the anger towards him would be less tempered. "I don't wish to lose your friendship over this."

Harry shook his head. "I will do everything in my power to see that it doesn't come to that." Even if it did, Harry didn't think he could give up that friendship. Eggsy had known enough not to ask that from Harry. "He almost asked, but he didn't. At first he feared I would do more for you than I would for him, and then I told him about Dean. He didn't even realise what I'd done...." Harry gave a soft laugh. One of the few times Eggsy's sense of right and wrong had been overridden, and Harry had already taken care of it. 

Merlin did actually smile at that, and at the sound of Harry's laughter breaking the tension in the room. "He's got quite a lot to absorb, in terms of your personal ethics. Hopefully that's some reassurance, although I find it strange he wouldn't realize to what lengths you're willing to go on his behalf. I should hope he comes to realize I did the same for the same reason, even though he felt personally injured by the results."

Eggsy _had_ been personally injured. There was no way around that no matter Harry's reasons and no matter Merlin's reasons. Harry had been reminded of ethics for Eggsy's sake. "I can only hope," Harry sighed. "He's been hurt. I can't make him. But I hope he may come to understand it someday." Harry glanced up at the ever present monitors above Merlin's desk. "And this will help, a little." Eggsy had specifically said Merlin handing him access to Harry's home was one of the ways he could start making up to the boy.

"With you, but not with me. The boy will feel more secure with the tables turned against you, or at least that's how he'll think of it. An eye for an eye. He'll have to know I'll be watching as well, and be resentful for it." Merlin met Harry's eyes. He'd already seen the signs. Eggsy was insecure, and not without good reason, but he'd previously worried about what Merlin was and meant to Harry. Now that he'd been denied control, he'd worry all the more.

Harry sighed and then cocked a brow. "You could carry Baxter around and see if that doesn't make you more sympathetic." 

The truth was that there were very few ways Eggsy could realistically be endeared to Merlin. Part of that was Merlin himself, but the other part of that was that Eggsy had no chance of being on an equal playing field with him. When Harry had revealed his secret to Merlin and when Merlin had done the same for him, they were on relatively equal ground, and they'd known each other for years. 

"I've already tried the dog angle. Eggsy found it comforting at the time, but likely no longer. I'm not his babysitter and your friend, to him. I'm a threat. I cannae say I don't feel the same," Merlin admitted with a bitter twist to his mouth. "Outside of missions, I'm now a liability in regards to your boy. He's insecure and I don't think he has the inclination for sharing you."

Harry frowned and rubbed at his temple. "Either some sort of understanding will have to be found, or the two of you are just going to have to avoid each other for the foreseeable future. I am not going to give either of you up." Harry's jaw set. Eggsy would like this no more than he'd liked Harry telling him he wouldn't shut Merlin out, even though Harry had no right to make that decision in Eggsy's life, but Merlin understood why Harry wouldn't let Eggsy go either. Merlin had seen him lose the boy once. 

"I would be fine with either, so long as I don't lose you." Merlin glanced away, but the motion was transparent. His monitors were shut down and blank. There was no reason to look at them but in an effort to avoid looking at Harry, "The boy can hate me if he wishes, or try to meet me halfway. I'm not going to give you up, or my few connections to the world. Particularly connections to you, however remote."

"I know," Harry said with a little more certainty in his voice. "I knew that when he brought this up. He might hate you...but I hope it doesn't come to that. And if he already does, I hope that it does not last. If it does...I'll do my best to keep the two of you apart." That was all Harry could think to do. Surveillance was what Merlin did. He had very little incentive to stop. Eggsy couldn't provide that incentive and neither could ethical considerations. Ethics hadn't been a part of their lives for quite some time.

"If that's what it comes to," Merlin agreed with a sigh. "I had never anticipated becoming close in any respects with the boy, but it would be disappointing if you ended up having to segregate us entirely. He's important to you, and so by extension he's important to me."

Merlin leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Odd, really. Under any other circumstances, I'd be the one pressing for disengagement and partitioning. I never thought I would ever want to be _more_ engaged and connected with another person, much less take such interest in the minutiae of their life."

Harry fought down a smile. "I never thought I'd see it, either." He leaned back in his chair and took a long look at Merlin. Yes, the man destroyed peoples' lives on his free hours, sometimes even murdered them, but he wasn't so bad. Not in Harry's mind, which admittedly may have been suspect. Harry just wished Eggsy could feel the same. He gave a sigh. So much hinged on the boy. But not everything. He had his work, and he had a friend. "We'll have to see what comes of it, then."

"Nothing else to be done but to wait and see, and hope for the best." Merlin paused, lost in thought for a few seconds. "I don't suppose you happen to have any ideas for what might make Eggsy more inclined towards a favourable outcome that doesn't require me to cease watching? I have a feeling that anything I do will just be viewed as a manipulative gesture, and I doubt I can talk him into understanding."

Some of the optimism faded away from Harry's features. "Normally I would have suggested talking to him, but I think you're right about that. I.... Well. It's a stretch, but if he could get to know you a little...." Harry lifted his shoulders and thought about it. "You are somewhat of a mysterious figure in his mind, I imagine. The times he came close to opening up to you were the times you were simply forced to be in each other’s company for extended periods. Perhaps if you could come out with us on occasion...," Harry hoped what he was about to say wouldn't sound trite, or ridiculous, "he might see another side of you."

Merlin laughed quietly. "I'm sure Eggsy would be just thrilled to have me tagging along. And then there's the matter of my people skills. Harry, you've seen what happens when I have to do staff training and testing. The boy may end up disliking me even more than he already does."

Harry shook his head. "I know, believe me, I know the chances. But I am also of the opinion that if you do really want him to like you, you are going to have to spend time with him. Probably going on outings you have no interest in participating in, unfortunately." Harry gave Merlin a frown of understanding, mostly to hide his smile again.

Merlin stared at Harry for a long moment, searching his face before turning aside and cursing under his breath. He'd seen the hidden smile. More than that, he'd seen the trait Harry was particularly known for among the agents - a sort of warm beguiling that generated comfort in others and a desire to please. "I wouldn't do any of this nonsense for anyone but you. People aren't my forte, children even less so. I want him to like me for the simple reasons that it will make a great many things easier, and because I'm fairly confident that _you_ want him to like me."

Harry stopped trying to hide his smile. "I know," he admitted. "And you know how much that means to me. I can only hold out hope that even if you're trying to force it to work, he might learn to appreciate it in some small way." Harry stood from his chair and waited, mindful not to loom over Merlin even though he wanted to convey a sense of both his gratitude and reassurance that he would not be distancing himself from Merlin. "Let me know when you have a laptop ready, and I'll...I'll see about gathering the necessary mission footage for him to review in my home, where it will remain."

"Give me two days. I'll want to completely wipe one of the spares and set up a custom system installation for this. For his sake and yours. I'm not confident that I'm the only one fiddling with technology inside the compound, and I'd rather not us find out the hard way if Arthur throws a fit and decides to derail everything. I know we've previous discussed the weaknesses of biometrics in security, but given how Eggsy got into your computer last time, I'd like to add yours as an additional lock on the laptop to help ensure that if it somehow leaves your home, it will destroy itself appropriately."

Harry's mouth thinned but he nodded. "Understood." He didn't want a repeat of that situation either, and the thought of Arthur finding out what they were up to was...unpleasant at best. "Thank you, Merlin." 

Harry thought about when he might next be inviting him over for tea, with Eggsy present, and whether any of them would get through it unscathed. He decided that it wasn't likely such an event would occur soon, however. Eggsy wanted to see his missions and he wanted to watch Harry, and that was all for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can join us this Saturday (9/24) for the chat at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	47. Chapter 47

Eggsy's heart raced once his foster parents got the notice that he'd be having another check-in with his social worker. Knowing he'd be seeing Harry again was enough on a normal day, but he knew this time would be different. Harry had promised him video feeds - of him on missions, and giving up his privacy in the same way he'd subjected Eggsy to, or close enough. Harry would have the benefit of knowing he was being watched, which was more than Eggsy had gotten.

The boy's stomach was in knots. He wanted to see more of who Harry really was, but at the same time he wasn't certain he wanted that knowledge. Eggsy still had conflicting feelings about the little he'd seen. He'd even been convinced that Harry was such a murderer that he himself was at risk, and though he no longer feared that, he knew other people probably wouldn't hesitate to view Harry as a monster if they ever saw the tapes Eggsy had.

Harry had requested they meet at a coffee shop near the park for official business as the Wilsons might find it strange if he requested a meeting at his own house. He did let them know that he would be taking Eggsy out to a film later, however, an activity they were comfortable with by then and which would provide a plausible amount of time for Eggsy to be absent. 

Donna and Kevin only spoke with him for a short time when they met for coffee, but Harry was polite and inquired as to how they were holding up themselves. They reassured him that they were well and very much enjoyed having Eggsy in their home. They made sure Eggsy had enough cash for snacks and the like, but didn't dawdle too long, respectful that the 'check-in' was only supposed to be between Eggsy and the man overseeing his well-being. 

As soon as the shop door clicked shut behind them, Harry turned to Eggsy with a smile. "Shall we take our drinks home, then?"

"Yeah." Eggsy had already drunk half of his hot chocolate. He hadn't been certain that he would have any appetite with how nervous and excited he was for what was coming, but the sweetness had been too tempting and, thankfully, had settled his stomach a fair bit. "Is stuff... ready, then? You know, what we talked about. The movies and such?"

"It is," Harry said with his same smile and rose from their table beckoning Eggsy to follow along behind him. With a cursory glance to the street outside, making sure the Wilsons had really gone, Harry led Eggsy to his car and they both climbed inside. With the windows up and soft music on, a cosy atmosphere while the stately homes of Kensington drifted by outside, it felt almost like it used to when Harry would take Eggsy home after a day out. Harry didn't know if he'd ever be able to shake that feeling, but he also wasn't sure that he wanted to. 

Eggsy slouched down in the passenger seat. He still wasn't certain whether or not he was supposed to be seen with Harry now that he was fostered out elsewhere. "What... kinda missions am I gonna be lookin' at? Just the ones where you were really supposed to be there? Or is it also gonna have the ones you've done for... Landon?" Of the two, Eggsy was fairly certain which would bother him more. The spy organization didn't seem to have as many scruples as Eggsy might care for, but at least they seemed like they fought villains the majority of the time.

"I think it would be best if you watched the work I've done for Kingsman first." Harry glanced at the boy next to him. Eggsy looked as small as the first time he'd ridden in Harry's car, although with far less enthusiasm and an entirely different kind of nervousness. He reached over and patted Eggsy's knee. "There's no need to hide. The Wilsons don't have us under surveillance, you know."

"Yeah, but I don't know... like, Landon obviously helps you with camera stuff, but he can't be the only person you've got, right? Some of the other agents seemed to like me alright, but your boss didn't, and I dunno if you told your neighbours why they didn't see me for a while. Rich people always seem extra nosy about everythin'." Eggsy hadn't forgotten the fact that some of the same neighbours had called the Met on him before when he looked out of place in the neighbourhood.

Harry frowned and decided to let the issue drop. Merlin had been wary of Arthur as well, perhaps more so during such an unstable time, although there were no indications to suggest the head of Kingsman thought anything untoward was going on in Galahad's life. And the neighbours, well, it would only be worth arguing if Eggsy was going to be over often enough, and Harry still didn't know if that would be the case. 

They arrived home unseen, and Harry even parked in the garage to respect Eggsy's feelings on the matter. 

Eggsy scooted out of the car and waited for Harry to lead the way up into the house. He was struck again with a sense of deja-vu, remembering how many times before they'd come back into the house this same way from a trip out to enjoy themselves and each other's company. It made the house feel a bit like Eggsy had never left, even though he remembered the intervening period of time. Harry's home was paused, existing in its own bubble on the timeline. Harry wouldn't let it progress past the point when Eggsy had lived there.

Even the lights were on inside, waiting for them to arrive home. Eggsy had only been back a few times, but the feeling didn't go away. 

Harry removed his jacket and busied himself in the kitchen, readying the kettle to boil as though they hadn't just been to get coffee. It was habit, and familiar, and he knew it. Harry could never quite be all business around Eggsy, even though ostensibly Eggsy was there for only one thing this time. When he was finished with the kettle he turned and looked a little more sober, seeing Eggsy at the counter waiting for him. "I've had a laptop prepared for you to watch surveillance in the house. All the same cameras in all the same places. But know that the laptop is encrypted and you'll need to remember the password carefully. It has a second operating system installed so you can switch between the two and if Donna or Kevin ask, you'll be using it for homework. The mission footage, however, you'll have to watch here. You can for as long as you'd like, whenever you'd like, but I can't run the risk of putting it on that laptop."

Eggsy's mouth turned downward. He understood why Harry would be cautious, but he didn't have to be happy about it. "Guess I better watch as much as I can now, huh? Since I can only do it every time I'm over here."

Even that infrequent might prove to be too much. Eggsy didn't know what he was about to watch. For all he knew, he'd need the time in between visits to process and come to terms with what he saw. Eggsy swallowed, all too aware of Harry's gaze on him. "Can... I ask you questions? About the missions, I mean, if I can't figure out what's going on, or why? I don't just wanna see things you've done and what happened, I wanna _understand_... y'know? Or try to.

Harry's face softened. "Yes, that would be okay. I'll do my best to help. C'mon, let me show you how to get it all set up." 

Harry led Eggsy up the stairs, past the boy's former bedroom, and into his office. He bent and took the laptop out of a briefcase before placing it on the table next to his own computer. Harry had placed another chair behind the desk, anticipating the need for one, and he motioned for Eggsy to take it while he turned the computer on and showed him how to log in. 

"You can actually use it for homework if you'd like," Harry told him before switching to the alternate OS, "but this is how you'll access the cameras." The same program Eggsy remembered from Harry's computer opened on the screen and with it came a grid of thumbnail images at various points around the house.

Eggsy took control for a bit, figuring out how to switch between and enlarge the cameras. For a moment his throat closed up. He'd forgotten just how _many_ cameras there were in the house and how thoroughly he'd been watched, more so even then the ones Harry had put at his mother's flat. The boy swallowed down his raw feelings and consoled himself with the fact that he knew, now, and now Harry was the one being scrutinized. "Does it record? Or can I only see stuff as it happens?"

"It does. You can see the logs here." Harry indicated an archive menu that was currently empty. He'd only just turned the interior system on again and made sure the feeds were all still working. He had no intention of starting before Eggsy was watching. The history of his own logs were archived on his home system, separate now. "You needn't worry about running out of space, and you can review them for as long as you like." 

Eggsy nodded, already wondering what it was going to be like. Harry would _know_ he was being watched, if not when. Eggsy didn't know if he'd start living differently with that knowledge or not. "I can't save copies, though? If there's something I want to save? I just have to remember which log it's in an' scroll back to it?" Eggsy turned to look Harry directly in the eye. "'Cause you can't tell me you didn't save nothin' of what you filmed of me. I know you had to. Didn't you?"

Harry tried to offer Eggsy a small smile even though he knew he was being chastised. "I did. And you can, if you want to, but it'll just have to stay in this archive. Make a note of the date and time and the feed number. And...if you want to keep something someday when this is all over, well we can talk about ways to do that." Eggsy was still looking at him with that furrow between his delicate brows, and Harry forced a more sober expression. "Does it bother you that I still have those files? That I...that I look at them when I miss you?"

"A little, I guess..." Eggsy bit his lower lip. Harry would want to know why, and he didn't really have a good idea himself. The thought simply bothered him. "I guess 'cause... I don't know what you recorded? And I didn't know I was bein' recorded, or give you permission for that or to keep 'em. I guess it feels like there are pieces of me missin' that I didn't notice at the time, but now I know they're out there."

Eggsy looked down at his hands, fidgeting. "Would you show me them? What stuff you've kept, I mean?"

"If you want." Harry turned his attention to Eggsy and Eggsy alone. He wanted the boy to feel the weight of his gaze. "You know that besides myself and Merlin, no one else has ever had, nor ever will have access to those files, right? They're not out there in the world, they're...more like a personal photo album." Harry watched Eggsy for a reaction before he reached out to touch the boy's back. "I remember you liked my own photo albums quite a lot back then. So, if you did want access to those files, I wouldn't mind."

"It's still weird your friend can see 'em. You less so, but-" Eggsy pulled a face. He wasn't even _friends_ with Landon, much less had they ever been intimate. The thought of being watched by a stranger during his most private moments turned his stomach, even if he was fairly certain Merlin was far more interested in watching Harry than himself. "I do want to see what you kept, and I don't want anyone else to see 'em. I mean, you've told me nobody else will, but... just so's you know. I don't like him seein' 'em but it don't look like I've got much choice where he's concerned."

Harry gave a soft sigh and nodded. "Ok." Harry reached over and took control of the keyboard where he set up a new path to his home server. He wasn't so sure Eggsy would look at these files in the same way he did. In fact, he was sure of the opposite, but a little part of him still hoped that Eggsy might be able to find something good there. 

When Harry was finished, a new archive appeared next to the empty one for Eggsy to peruse as he liked. "You won't be able to take anything off this side of the system," Harry said before Eggsy started getting any ideas to try. "The USB hubs are disabled and so are all outgoing connections apart from that of my house, but it shouldn't disrupt the internet when you'd like to use it normally."

"Alright." Eggsy should have expected as much. Harry was trusting him, but only to a certain degree. The boy wasn't truly bothered that he couldn't save anything right then; if he wanted to, he was sure Harry would let him, if in some protected form. He certainly wasn't trying to restrict access enough to completely protect himself.

Eggsy ignored the screen and stared for a long moment at the man beside him. Harry still looked soft and warm, just like he remembered. Harmless, enticing. If Eggsy had wanted to and been willing to pay the personal consequences, he probably could have ruined Harry many times over. He still thought about it from time to time, what it would be like to tell someone everything and watch Harry get taken away. His imagination would conjure images of what might happen, and always the pain they summoned in Eggsy outweighed any satisfaction of contemplated revenge. He couldn't stomach the thought of Harry hurt in that way, or dying, or dead.

"So, that's the camera feeds. How do I get to look at the missions you've done?"

"Those, you'll have to watch here." Harry straightened and scooted over so that Eggsy could see the screen of his desktop before he laid his hand over a panel next to the keyboard. "Biometric security," Harry explained when Eggsy's eyes followed the movement. "I've made some upgrades. I'll have to unlock it for you when you're here, but you're welcome to stay and review the footage for as long as you'd like."

The computer powered to life and Harry showed Eggsy where he'd made a convenient link from the desktop to the mission archives. Just like before they were listed by date, but Harry showed him they could also be sorted by several different categories. 

"As long as I like, any of them I want?" Eggsy had expected a smaller list, but the archive was packed. He supposed it made sense, given that Harry was a good deal older than he was and had worked with his father, but that meant that he did many different missions a year, for _years_. He might end up watching missions that happened before he was even born. The thought made him all the more aware of how much smaller he was next to the man beside him. "Do I get to ask you questions about 'em?"

Harry smiled. "Just come down and find me. I'll answer as best I can." He rested his hand on the boy's knee, feeling how his legs were longer than Harry remembered them being the last time Eggsy was up in his office. "I'll leave you to watch unless you want company." Harry didn't think he would, especially not at first. Some of the missions might be difficult for Eggsy to watch, even if the carefully written reports archived with each gave adequate justification for what Eggsy saw. 

"Not right now. Maybe sometime. I'll come get you if I want you." Eggsy's words hung in the air between them, weighted with more than just the immediate context. Harry's hand felt overly warm against Eggsy's leg, and Eggsy could remember just how it felt without clothing separating skin from skin. Those fingers had touched everywhere. The boy flushed. "I guess I better get started, since I only get to watch when I'm here. You're gonna be downstairs?"

Harry nodded, removing his hand, but not before letting it trail down Eggsy's leg, fingertips catching for as long as they could. "Yes. And I'll have tea and snacks if you'd like a break." He hesitated a moment longer, but he had no more excuses to stay, so Harry rose and pushed his chair aside so that Eggsy could slide in and get comfortable. The boy in his place in front of a desk too big for him and Harry's personal computer was a strange sight, but Harry reminded himself that this was what Eggsy wanted, and Harry wanted to give it to him.

Eggsy didn't move for a couple of minutes after Harry left. He kept expecting the man to peek back in on him somehow, but he was well and truly alone, confronted with a stack of video logs he didn't even know how to tackle. Logically, he should start from the beginning, but the beginning wasn't what interested Eggsy. While he was interested in who Harry _used_ to be, he was more interested in who Harry was _now_ \- what he had been doing at the same time he'd been wooing or living with Eggsy. With this in mind, the boy sorted through the dated files and decided to work his way backwards from the most recent files.

There were a few smaller directories dated very recently, but when Eggsy looked through them he found they didn't contain much besides a brief description of Harry's alias, his connections, and Harry's report ending with dead end leads. Thinking he might have better luck with one of the larger directories, Eggsy clicked into one that listed "Belmont Industries" after the date and immediately realised it was the mission Harry had been on when Eggsy discovered him beaten and waiting to die. Harry's end of the operation didn't go any farther than London, but there were still extensive documents, several written by Harry himself of the ordeal and the information he'd gained and several written by others. And then there were photographs. Photographs of people Eggsy had glimpsed once or twice, photographs of the warehouse and other locations, and photographs of Harry and the damage that had been done to him. 

Eggsy paused on those. There hadn't been time to look too closely when he'd first stumbled across Harry in the storage room. He'd known his injuries were extensive, even seen some of them more closely when back at headquarters, but that was after Harry had received medical treatment. The photos brought everything back, including the sense of horror Eggsy had felt at the idea that Harry was mortal and breakable. He'd seemed preternatural, like trying to outrun the inevitability of the seasons, only to find winter nearly slain and bleeding out at one's doorstep.

Eggsy did his best to match what Harry had told him about what he was doing there at the time with what was written in the reports. He couldn't remember many details, and Harry hadn't spent the time to elaborate, but as far as he could see, what Harry had said at the time had been true. The Belmont directory linked to another with a more current date that Eggsy didn't have access to. Harry had told him he wouldn't be able to show Eggsy ongoing missions, however, and it seemed likely that Harry's discovery and brush with death at Belmont might have led to a bigger investigation by Kingsman. 

When Eggsy moved on, he found a string of dates with files and photos that matched better to what his imagination used to conjure up when he thought of Harry going out as the gentleman spy. Dozens of surveillance clips showed Harry at lavish parties, dressed nicer than even Eggsy was used to seeing him, and usually in conversation with faces who were listed elsewhere in the directory as targets or informants. 

A lot wasn't as bad as Eggsy was expecting. Apparently Harry hadn't been lying about the portions of his time dedicated to infiltration and information gathering in a more direct way. A lot of footage was filmed through what must have been his glasses, recording conversations that didn't mean much to Eggsy and glancing over faces he didn't recognize. Sometimes the languages weren't English, and without the benefit of subtitles, Eggsy could do no more than try to follow tones, expressions, and gestures as Harry conversed with strangers in countries Eggsy could only guess at.

He found others that showed Harry moving alone, leaving recording devices attached to doorsteps and under the carriages of vehicles. Sometimes Harry watched people meeting in very close quarters and yet didn't seem to be seen. 

The first date in which Eggsy saw Harry shoot someone was one such situation. Harry had a vantage point fairly high up somewhere, looking down over the back of a building, maybe a restaurant, as three figures met on the ground below. Eggsy could only make out the sides of their faces in the dark with a single light over the back door, but he could see from their gestures that something was about to go down between them. One kept asking why the third was there, as though he hadn't been expecting to meet two people, and the others Eggsy couldn't make out but the way they moved was threatening enough. 

One moment they were arguing and the next one of the two pulled a gun. Eggsy didn't see what happened until the world dropped and the camera righted itself. Harry's hands were out, holding a handgun that glinted in the light, and where three people had just been, only one was left standing. The man looked shaken until Harry lowered the weapon and joined him under the light, looking down at the two bodies and asking if the man he'd just saved was ok. He seemed to know Harry, but the rest of their conversation didn't give Eggsy many details. 

The vantage point from the glasses spared nothing. Eggsy could see the two bodies twitching on the floor as they bled out. He watched Harry and the other man sort through things carefully, donning gloves and picking through pockets to find and take key pieces of evidence. Whether that was to further the mission they were on or conceal who had killed the two marks was equally likely.

Shortly thereafter, Eggsy watched from a first-person view as Harry moved from shadow to shadow, dropping something into nooks and crannies as he went. Only a few minutes later did it register that he'd watched Harry staging a building for detonation. It collapsed in a cloud of dust, rubble, and flames, perhaps empty, or perhaps taking unknown souls down with it.

The video ended and Eggsy was left staring at the rest of the report. It wasn't as large as some of the others he'd passed, but it was linked to another case that happened six months earlier. He could tell this one hadn't gone exactly to plan even if Harry's movements throughout the video had been quick and efficient the whole way through, never seeming to hesitate on a decision. A glance at the brief mission objective told Eggsy that Harry had been meant to watch the meeting. But Harry's report talked of intervening to save their informant's life and destroying the building to act as a cover up. He was about to put it away before he saw that Harry had provided a neat list of damage done at the end alongside the mention of casualties: two.

Eggsy scrolled further. The reports weren't simply text, but had relevant documents included. Videos made up a part, but there were audio files and photographs as well, and occasional data files that probably contained troves of information. Further down, photographs of significant locations and objects were included, along with photos of the two casualties. Someone must have retrieved them from whatever morgue had processed the bodies. Both were atop stainless steel tables and very much the worse for wear, likely due to falling building debris.

When he'd been living with Harry, Harry had rarely mentioned casualties in his work. Unless they were on the opposite side. Eggsy had to really think to remember Harry mentioning innocent people caught up in one of his missions, and back then Harry had been vague about it. Seeing the dangers of Harry's work in full colour was very different than having a story related to him over dinner. 

Eggsy scrolled through more missions. Often times they contained photos of the men and sometimes women Harry and the rest of Kingsman were pursuing. Just as often the documents contained vivid depictions of what these people did to put them in Kingsman's cross-hairs. There were drug cartels, illegal weapons dealers, there were international politics that Eggsy couldn't follow with figureheads who carried out all kinds of abuses on the people working and living under them. There were endless files on warfare all around the globe, from Northern Ireland to the Middle East and farther still. 

There were other jobs, too. Kingsman didn't seem to limit itself only to what fell within certain moral boundaries. The missions weren't accepted as a form of righteousness. There were hits from one illegal organization against another, well-financed revenge jobs, or lucrative work to secure questionable supply chains in exchange for money, goods, and information. More often than not, Kingsman business seemed to coincide with the sort of mission MI6 might take on, but that didn't mean that other things were off the table for consideration.

It was very difficult to tell which missions were part of a bigger scheme. Eggsy couldn't be sure all of the ones that sounded questionable weren’t accepted for the greater good. Harry had told him they had to play very long games sometimes, but he didn't have the background to know which was which. It was very hard to believe that everything that sounded questionable was just for some better goal. Harry had turned out so differently than he'd thought. Why wouldn't the organization Harry worked for be the same? 

Eggsy clasped his hands over his mouth, thinking. He wasn't certain he could stomach any more footage that night. He wasn't used to seeing the stark realities of what working as a secret agent actually meant. Glamorous movies and romanticized ideas were all well and good, but Harry wasn't necessarily a secret hero that saved the world while looking dashing. He wasn't a wholesale villain, either. Eggsy still didn't know what to do with the mixture of both that made up the man he'd grown to love and hate. He didn't know how to process the knowledge that the good, kind, gentle, sensuous man wasn't entirely a deceptive act, but neither was it the whole of the truth.

He could hear the water running in the kitchen below and Harry's footsteps after it shut off. They didn't turn towards the stairs, but it was hard to tell where Harry was in the house and what he was doing. Maybe he was making another cup of tea. Harry usually only put the telly on when Eggsy was around or when he wanted to watch something special, and Eggsy didn't hear it now. It seemed Harry really was going to leave him up there to look and think for as long as Eggsy wanted. 

Eggsy paused to think. He was only to have access to the mission records while in Harry's home, but the camera feeds were supposed to work anywhere. The present would be as good a time as ever to test out how complete the cameras were compared to his memories of Harry’s earlier recordings.

Eggsy minimized the folder containing the missions, glancing only for a moment at the folder that held the recorded videos of himself. He clicked into the program linked to the cameras and, after clicking through a few of the feeds, managed to find Harry.

Harry was in the living room, sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the footstool with a new cup of tea sitting atop the end table, reading a book. He didn't look uncomfortable or impatient, although Eggsy knew it was impossible to tell with Harry. Harry looked just how Eggsy so often remembered him in the evenings, sitting quietly in his favoured spot with one book or another. He'd do that while Eggsy was working on his homework sometimes. Sometimes they'd be at opposite ends of the couch, legs turned towards each other and fitted snugly in companionable silence. 

Harry didn't look like he suspected he was being watched. 

Eggsy reached forward and touched the outline on the screen. Harry was so still for a time that the image looked like a painting in a book, of the sort that depicted cosy fireside nut roasting and magical ice skating scenes that never happened that way in reality. Harry was in the evening jacket that Eggsy had loved for how plush it felt beneath his fingers and how it set off the colour of the older man's hair and eyes. The same man he'd just watched on several missions, who was responsible for the deaths of targets and collateral casualties alike.

Harry turned a page in his book and sipped his tea. His eyes never rose and he never moved more than his hand. It was like looking back in time. A portal back to a world Eggsy remembered and yet could never quite reclaim, even if he went downstairs right now and crawled into the man's lap. Harry would let him if he wanted to. Whether the vision was real or not, Harry would let him come back, as warm and as kind as ever. To Eggsy, anyway. Eggsy might have found out that wasn't the way Harry always was, depending on who he was dealing with, but he never treated Eggsy differently. 

The boy remembered that time vividly. How warm and inviting the house had been, and Harry. How safe, when the only thing he'd had to worry about was his mother's wellbeing and if Harry would think badly of his crush, or later if they'd be found out and Harry would be stolen away. All the happiness before he'd started to suspect Harry of lying and the crushing revelations that so much had been orchestrated.

He sat up there watching Harry for a long time. Harry remained on the couch, steadily moving through his book until the cup of tea was almost empty. Likely, it had gone cold and Harry left it be. He never looked up to where he must know the cameras in the house were. Never did he look like he suspected Eggsy might be doing something other than watching his mission footage. 

It was difficult not to wonder if all Harry's nights were like this now. Spent quietly and alone, taking small comforts where he could and getting used to it. 

Lonely. Just like Eggsy's own nights had been, stealing sleep in drug dens or in the quiet privacy of the bedroom he now had to himself. Eggsy wondered if Harry had spent the time before sleep in agony, missing him and replaying every misstep that had been made. If Harry regretted the choices he'd made at any part along the road. He had suggested that he rewatched the older recordings for his own pleasure, which made Eggsy certain that he'd engaged in similar fantasizing the boy had done on his own.

It was hard to imagine the Harry on the couch undone, mourning Eggsy and finding desperate relief in old memories, but Eggsy remembered well how quickly Harry could turn from the picture of a perfect gentleman to anything but. He was collected and serene here, but Eggsy knew what his face looked like when Harry was in pain. It hadn't been often, but he'd seen grief on Harry before. 

As far as Eggsy could recall, Harry had never looked that way over anyone or anything but him before. Harry had been beaten and dying in that storage room. He certainly hadn't been calm then, but it was different the moment he saw Eggsy. 

That moment was burned into Eggsy's memory. It had haunted every second afterwards, when he had to deliberate yet again about what he could live with and how he would be risking everything. Freeing Harry had meant the end of that life and the limited security it had provided, possibly even of life itself. He could have been shot during the escape, or targeted on the streets afterwards. Eggsy had thought about all of that before he'd returned to that storeroom, along with all of the anger he'd harboured towards Harry for the suffering he'd caused.

And here he was now. Back at Harry's. Except Harry wasn't in control any longer. Harry did everything Eggsy had asked of him after that. Eggsy couldn't be sure, but it didn't seem like Harry had anything new up his sleeve, trying to push Eggsy back to him, subtly or not. Except that Eggsy was still back. And Harry certainly didn't refuse him when Eggsy came to him asking for something. Even closeness. Harry had manipulated him for so long it was hard to tell if Eggsy was still in control, even if it seemed like he was.

Eggsy's mind spun with thoughts. Part of him thought that it all had to be a trick, because everything in the past had been. The illusion of power had to be another form of trickery. Eggsy kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the trap to trigger and snap around his ankles, but nothing happened. Harry kept doing what he was asked. He kept his distance when asked. He provided living situations and learning opportunities. He'd given Eggsy access to whatever he asked, even Eggsy's own footage when he asked on impulse. 

The boy flipped back to the mission folders, looking through the photos and video clips at random. Eggsy tried to juxtapose the Harry there with the one in his memories and the one he'd known lately, still lounging calmly in the live feed. They merged, somewhere. Eggsy was disturbed, but he couldn't find himself as disgusted as he'd first been. He lingered on a few of the debriefing photos from one mission, with Harry blood spattered and torn and still hard-eyed from what he'd seen for the camera's lens, and Eggsy couldn't stop his own blood from stirring.

The strange thing about looking at Harry like that was how hard it was to imagine Harry turning such a cold gaze on him. Even when Eggsy had run away and Harry had tracked him down, even that night at Belmont when Harry had taken down those men in their escape and he'd already been beaten and bloodied and desperate to survive, he'd never turned that gaze on Eggsy. Comparing the photo to that night, Eggsy had seen that kind of coldness before, but Harry's eyes were always softer when they fell upon him. Even when Harry was sad or upset. Even when Eggsy himself hadn't known if he'd come back for Harry. 

Eggsy tried to imagine it. He'd done so before, when he was worried about what Harry was going to do to him if he was found and caught, but he hadn't had a good idea of how Harry would look at the time. He tried to put himself in the shoes of someone Harry had as a mark, imagining what it would be like to be interacting with a charming gentleman at some social party only for Harry to look at him like that and drive a knife into him, or stick a gun against him.

Eggsy didn't know how to feel about the fact that he found it disturbing _and_ somehow attractive. His stomach lurched at the thought of how many people Harry might have killed who didn't deserve it, but his blood ran hot and southward all the same.

It was impossible to say whether this type of reaction was normal or not. Eggsy knew people liked dangerous things, but Harry had instilled himself as a sexual outlet to Eggsy years ago and had done everything in his power to remain that way. Women swooned over James Bond, but Harry was real. Harry wasn't acting in a film and he wasn't meant to be eye candy for some nameless audience. Though he certainly did turn on the charm and dress the part, it was for far deadlier reasons. And though Harry had told Eggsy often enough about how he fought and the kinds of gadgets and weapons his agency had given him, he'd never shown Eggsy in person. 

Eggsy wondered if he'd show him if he asked, and what it might mean. It was difficult to say whether any acquiescence was proof of love and how much control Eggsy might have, or another sign of manipulation. Everything blended together.

The boy spent a few more minutes clicking through the resources that were available to him, but he couldn't pay much attention. His focus was stuck on the figure in the small camera feed window, calmly paging through a book while his feet were propped up on a plush ottoman. Eggsy shut his eyes and huffed out a breath, but when he looked again his feelings hadn't dissipated.

Damn him. Damn them both.

Harry looked up at the sound of small footsteps coming down the stairway. Eggsy didn't give him a chance to utter much of a question. Mere seconds passed before the boy had crossed the room, striking the book out of Harry's hands and taking its place on his lap.

Harry's brows rose in alarm but he didn't pull away. Eggsy saw the moment it clicked in Harry's mind what Eggsy was doing, but still Harry didn't seem to understand what had brought on the change. Harry's hands didn't move, hanging in mid-air after the book had fallen to the floor. He blinked as Eggsy settled over him, hands pressing against Harry's chest and feeling the man's heartbeat through the silken fabric of his evening jacket. Such thin material, really. Not like Harry's suits, which varied from thicker fabrics to ones almost as soft as silk in the summer, but still had always put several layers between Eggsy's hands and Harry's body. 

"Eggsy?" Harry asked, croaking the word. 

The boy ignored him. Harry's heat soaked through the fabric and into Eggsy's palms and seat and the backs of his thighs. He could see the bob of Harry's throat as he swallowed, the pulse lines visible just above the starched collar on either side. Eggsy tried to picture him in the same garb as the photographs, having just come back from a mission a little the worse for wear. 

Eggsy was just as shocked as Harry when he grabbed hold of Harry's shirtfront and pulled until the buttons gave way and the fabric parted.

Harry's whole body tensed. Eggsy could see it in his throat and in the now exposed lines of his chest. Harry wasn't bulky. He was lean all over, but the muscle was still there, and his chest was rising and falling quickly with every breath. His hands hovered over Eggsy's waist, almost like he was expecting to be struck at Eggsy's sudden movement, but had stopped himself from holding the boy back when Harry realised he was going for the shirt instead. Now Harry just looked stunned, almost afraid to snap Eggsy out of whatever had possessed him with this kind of aggression. 

Eggsy hesitated for a second, taking in Harry's surprise and remembering the cold-eyed man from the photos. He'd seemed to expect attack and still had done nothing, and Eggsy had noticed.

It took all of a split second for Eggsy to make his decision and slide forward. His arms wrapped around Harry's neck and pulled him down for a demanding kiss. He wondered, absently, if Harry had ever had to seduce targets for his work before. If he had, Eggsy hadn't seen those mission logs yet.

Harry went willingly. His hands finally closed around Eggsy's hips and held him tight. Tight, without restricting his movement. Harry kissed Eggsy back, but he wasn't leading. Eggsy was, and Harry seemed to be happy letting him even if Harry still didn't know what was going on. He was definitely wondering what Eggsy had seen up in his office that prompted this reaction, but Harry didn't stop him to ask. Not even when Eggsy pressed all along his front, rubbing their bodies together from groin to torso, and he felt Harry's cock hardening under him. It certainly didn't take Harry long. All Eggsy had to do was show interest and it was like flipping a switch for the older man. 

Eggsy delved into Harry's mouth. He could imagine a ghost of blood, but all he could taste was a hint of tea, the same sort he remembered Harry being fond of. Harry was two different people, but one, and Eggsy still could barely catch a glimpse of the other. Of what constituted the _rest_ of Harry. 

When the boy broke off the kiss, he didn't bother answering the question in Harry's eyes. "Bedroom. Now, Harry."

Harry closed his mouth. "Okay." 

He didn't look any less stricken as Eggsy slid off his lap and he climbed to his feet, Eggsy's hands pulling at him all the way. His eyes only glanced over the book on the floor before they were focused on Eggsy, following him as Eggsy led the way back to the stairs and up. Harry didn't let Eggsy go far. He kept up even though he seemed to sense that Eggsy would demand it if he didn't. 

When they reached the bedroom, Harry let the evening jacket drop off his shoulders before Eggsy had to ask. His nightshirt underneath was now missing a few buttons, and he was a little rumpled, but still nothing like the photograph. 

Eggsy walked backwards, pulling Harry along with him until he reached the edge of the bed. He scrambled up, but Harry didn't immediately follow, still looking confused even as he shrugged off the damaged clothing onto the floor. Harry didn't look dangerous, with his casual trousers and now-bare chest and his glasses sitting very slightly askew. He only vaguely resembled the man in the mission briefings, or the one that haunted Eggsy's nightmares at times, stalking him through cold train yards or kidnapping him from behind.

Eggsy wanted closure. He wanted to explore everything Harry tried to hide away from him so he could see it all for himself. He wanted the vague nightmares he still harboured to have a different ending. "Are you comin'?"

"What's going on, Eggsy?" Harry asked, voice smooth and soft, but he did step forward and climb up onto the bed. His trousers were still on and he made no move to undo them, or go for Eggsy's clothes as he usually liked to do. "What did you see?" Harry's brow furrowed. Finally he seemed to be thinking more about the whys of Eggsy's sudden interest than just the fact that it was happening. Harry wanted Eggsy, there was no denying that, and although Harry sounded suspicious, he didn't look like he was about to stop giving Eggsy what he wanted. 

Frustration welled up in Eggsy. He didn't know how to explain things, or why. He didn't want to slow down and think about it. It was the same sort of feeling that had driven him out his bedroom window to wander near the train tracks and around the local streets when he couldn't take his mother's flat anymore. "I saw you, a'course, what else? You on missions, lookin' into the camera afterwards all messed and everythin', like you took care of everythin' and now you're gonna take care of whatever bloke's behind the camera too. An' you in the train yard, and when you yanked me off my feet into a little room, and when I found your gun and the cameras and didn't know what you were gonna do. Just _c'mere_ , okay?"

Harry cocked his head, brow still furrowed but with something that looked like the beginnings of understanding on his face. He crawled forward and Eggsy could see his wariness, but there was a spark of interest in Harry's eye, too. The things Eggsy talked about, they weren't fond memories of the loving times they'd had together, but Harry caught the lack of blatant accusation in his tone than the last time Eggsy had spoken of such things. 

When Eggsy reached for him again, Harry caught his wrist. Their eyes met and, slowly, Harry pulled Eggsy to him, waiting to see if Eggsy would free himself and take back control. 

Eggsy didn't, not exactly. The boy's wrist turned in Harry's grasp until he caught hold of Harry's forearm and could grip him just as tightly. When he looked back at the older man, there was a little bit of the fear there that Harry remembered from when the boy had confessed he'd thought he was going to be imprisoned or killed. Just a little, drowned out by far more curiosity, lust, and sheer determination. Eggsy stared up at the man, trying to find signs of what he knew to be hidden underneath the surface somewhere.

When Eggsy was close enough, Harry reached out and caught him around the middle before bending to kiss him again. It wasn't like Eggsy's demanding kiss downstairs. Harry kept it slow, exploratory, even when Eggsy pressed harder. But it didn't seem like Harry was doing it just to tease him this time. Harry was trying to figure out what he wanted. Or if he really wanted what it seemed like he wanted. 

When they parted, Harry lingered, lips brushing against Eggsy's. "I've been afraid of frightening you," he whispered. It didn't sound like it came easily for Harry to say that, even though he had before, many times. 

"I figured as much," Eggsy admitted. It hadn't been terribly difficult to guess. Harry had always been gentle, but he'd been particularly cautious ever since they'd begun interacting again. "Don't do me no good to pretend I'm made of glass, though. I asked for all that stuff, with the computer, 'cause I wanted to see more of you. More than just the nice bits you pick out to show me. I don't think you're gonna kill or imprison me anymore, 'cause you'd have done it already. I wanna see you better. All of it, not just what you think's nice enough."

Harry still looked uncertain, but he at least didn't appear to be so confused any longer. He raised his hands to frame Eggsy's face, stroking his temples and making sure he had Eggsy's attention. 

"I've never wanted to hurt you." Harry looked so earnest when he said it. He had to make sure that Eggsy understood that much, even if he was beginning to see the violence Harry could embody. Harry wasn't speaking in the broader reaching sense of the term 'hurt' either, not like when they'd spoken of Harry's intentions and weighed them against the outcome of his actions before. He meant it quite literally. 

"I don't really want you to hurt me, either. I guess I'm just... I wanna see you, not the you that you think I'd like better." Eggsy's words were soft, but he held Harry's gaze. Harry _had_ hurt him, but out of selfishness and desperation, hoping for the best. The boy understood that much, even if that didn't help his own feelings on the matter. "That's part of why I asked for the mission stuff, but I just-"

Eggsy flushed and finally averted his eyes. He didn't know how he felt about the fact that he'd found some of the footage and pictures to be a turn-on, much less want to admit it. He still didn't like the fact that Harry's work was so morally ambiguous, but the danger involved in some of those documents held a certain appeal. Particularly when Eggsy knew that he was safe.

Harry nodded. Eggsy could feel his heart beating fast due to the way they were situated together. But then a flicker of a smile came to Harry's lips and he lifted Eggsy into his lap, just like they'd been on the couch a minute ago. 

"I can show you more," Harry said into his ear and let his hands wander underneath the back of Eggsy's shirt. They were warm and Harry was comfortable to lean against. "You're old enough, have been through enough now.... And I know you've stumbled upon things I'd kept in the house before, and so I'll understand if you'd rather not. But if you'd like to see the tools of the trade up close, I'm willing to let you." 

Eggsy shivered, and his skin broke out into gooseflesh as Harry spoke. He couldn't have said why the thought appealed to him, but it did - reminding him of the movies he'd seen, where the spy's love interest was captured by the villain and tied up, maybe even tortured just so the hero would lose their focus and make mistakes. Eggsy didn't want pain, and didn't want to be victimized. He didn't particularly view himself as helpless anymore, not after making his own way on the streets and outsmarting a couple of spies trying to track him down with all their resources.

But he did want to know more about the cold-eyed man in the photographs. The one who had stalked him through the streets unseen. "Y-yeah. If I can. I... I'd kinda like to."

Harry looked at him to make sure Eggsy meant it. He'd been scared when he'd found things related to Harry's work in the house before. Even after he knew what Harry did for a living, Eggsy hadn't been happy to find the poison tipped shoes in Harry's closet, although Harry hadn't blamed him. But Harry hummed, approving of Eggsy's determination this time. 

"Okay." Harry bent to kiss Eggsy again before he pulled away. He slipped out of Eggsy's hands before Eggsy had a chance to draw him back. Harry went to his dresser and pulled out a few items from the top drawer, then plucked an umbrella from where it rested against his closet door. He set that against the side of the bed before climbing back up next to Eggsy. He gave the boy one more glance to assess his reaction when Harry laid several seemingly innocuous personal effects out for his inspection. "You'll remember the watch I once had you look after, and what it does." Harry pulled the piece out for Eggsy's inspection. 

"Yeah. It's got darts for summat, don't it?" Eggsy remembered well the small piece of metal that had shot out of the side. "I dunno why you gave me somethin' that did that if you knew I might be messin' with it and keepin' it with me all the time. I could've shot myself."

Eggsy gave the umbrella a curious glance. "What's that, then? Is that one of them things where it's actually a sword instead of a cane?"

Harry frowned in consternation before he was ready to move on. "I very specifically remember telling you not to touch the dials. And _that_ is a weapon unlike anything you've seen before. Unless you happened upon it in those mission logs." Harry smirked and climbed off the bed again, picking it up and popping the snap free. 

In his hand it looked like any umbrella Eggsy had seen before. In fact, he was pretty sure he'd seen this one accompanying Harry on rainy days and he'd thought nothing of it. 

"It's also a method of defence." Harry aimed it towards the wall and let it open with a whoosh. "Able to withstand and deflect most gunfire up to that of the more high powered rifles, it also comes equipped with a convenient targeting system." Harry pressed a button and the underside of the umbrella lit up with a projection of the room behind it, locking a red target on Harry's ornamental bust of Lord Alfred Douglas. "So you never have to put yourself in danger when killing, or disabling, a mark." Harry switched the menu to a non-lethal slug and made as though he were going to shoot the statue. 

Eggsy's eyes widened. Harry had been armed on their outings and he hadn't even known. England was rainy enough that no one thought anything of someone bringing an umbrella with them, particularly if they had fine clothing to protect. "Have you ever had to use it like that? Like, hidin' behind it and knockin' people out?"

"Certainly." Harry collapsed the umbrella back into itself. "It's one of my favourites. A lot of ingenuity went into making it. We call it the Rainmaker." He offered Eggsy a half smirk. Harry was a sight like that, leaning against the umbrella's handle in only his trousers, still noticeably tented at the front. He was still too kind looking for the photograph Eggsy had in mind, but there were hints of what Harry could be in the way he stood and the confidence in which he held the weapon. 

"Just _one_ of your favourites?" Eggsy would have imagined that another agent might have picked something more overt, but with Harry... it made sense. The deception of it, how the weapon looked perfectly ordinary and harmless until you stumbled across the right spot and the right situation. Eggsy couldn't pay too much attention to the notion, however, as his gaze had drifted towards Harry's waist and the fabric just below.

"Mm, indeed, just one." Harry turned to lay the umbrella back in its original position against the closet. He swept up the watch and other items. "A signet ring that will deliver fifty thousand volts of electricity to a target when you apply pressure to the contact like so." Harry demonstrated on thin air and his grin grew wider as he caught Eggsy's gaze lift from his trousers. "But I think that's enough of a demonstration for now," he ventured, putting the items back in the drawer they'd come from. "You seemed to have something else on your mind when you brought me up here."

"I just..." Eggsy knew exactly what he wanted, but saying it aloud was another matter. His head was half-filled with notions from the spy films he'd seen, the other half remembering the pleasure and fear that Harry had been capable of stirring in him. He wanted a thrill without the danger, and he'd missed sex. "Wanted you, is all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can join us this Saturday (10/1) for the chat at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	48. Chapter 48

With two strides, Harry climbed back up on the bed. The smile that curled the corners of his mouth hadn't diminished. He looked as though he had every reason to suspect Eggsy wasn't telling him the whole truth about his sudden inspiration, but Harry didn't comment on it further. 

"Well I'm happy to hear that." Harry caught Eggsy around the middle and laid him back as Harry kissed him, finally spreading himself out next to the boy. One of Harry's arms draped over him to keep him in place, although Harry hadn't needed to. 

Eggsy closed his eyes. Harry's kisses always were heady, and he wanted to sink back into the mattress like he used to. He couldn't seem to stop thinking about how things used to be, before everything went to shit. Even in the Wilsons' house, with his own large bedroom and anything a boy his age could have asked for, he kept comparing everything to how things had been when living with Harry. The way his house was set up, the food they'd eaten, the outings they'd gone on.

The Wilsons were well-meaning people, but they didn't know him like Harry did. Although, of course, Harry had cheated in that sense. Still, there had always been a level of understanding when Eggsy was with him that just wasn't there with Donna and Kevin. They were normal. They had normal expectations and often boring suggestions for things to do for fun. And Harry.... Harry did take Eggsy to places like the opera, but Harry also took him back to bed at the end of the day. Just like Harry was doing now. Harry was beginning to let Eggsy see the dangerous parts of himself upon request. 

Harry's hands crept under Eggsy's shirt again, this time pulling until they caught the fabric and lifted it over Eggsy's head before Harry went back to kissing him. Harry didn't waste any more time on the rest of Eggsy's clothes either. 

Eggsy squirmed and lifted his arms and hips to help, just as eager. Once his mind had set on sex, fire had lit his blood. He wanted a heavy body draped atop him. He wanted a cock next to his own, or between his legs, or in him. Eggsy missed the abandon of it all, and pleasuring himself in the privacy of his bedroom or the bathroom wasn't nearly the same thing. His own hands couldn't replace the experience of having another person there, and Eggsy didn't want just anyone.

Very quickly, Eggsy was bare and Harry's hands were all over him. Harry's mouth soon followed, licking and kissing everywhere that had been covered, everywhere he'd wanted to touch while Eggsy was gone, since the last time Eggsy had allowed Harry to touch him. This still wasn't a given between them. Harry knew it and it showed in the way he revelled in touching Eggsy when he was newly bare. 

Harry parted Eggsy's legs and moved between them, but instead of removing his own trousers and getting to it, he slid down and relished the softness of Eggsy’s stomach and the way Eggsy's legs hooked around his shoulders.

Eggsy liked that almost as much. He felt warm, and Harry's skin prickled with the slightest hint of stubble. Hands framed his torso on either side, and he felt cherished. Breath wafted across his skin and Eggsy shut his eyes. He was safe and wanted. Anything could happen. Harry might kiss his way downwards and take him in his mouth, or upwards and tease him while his fingers got to work. A vision of crime scene photos flickered through Eggsy's mind and he whimpered, imagining Harry had found him in a storeroom instead of the opposite.

He felt Harry's teeth against his stomach as the man smiled. "Eager, aren't you?" He kissed the skin and then nipped softly, then lifted himself to hover over Eggsy. Harry rolled his shoulders and held Eggsy's gaze. With a curl at the corner of his mouth, he looked like he was about to pounce. Harry could be dramatic when he was playing, but they hadn't done much playing since Eggsy had come back. With fluid movements, Harry climbed back up to kiss Eggsy and lay himself over the boy with just enough of his weight to press Eggsy down, but not enough to smother him completely. Harry's hand went for his own trousers to tug them down while he rubbed his hip against Eggsy's erection. 

The boy gasped. The friction was magnificent, but more so everything that went with it. He'd missed this, when Harry wouldn't treat him like he was spun glass about to break at any moment. He didn't want to be fragile or pitied. He knew what he wanted. He knew he was wanted in turn, but pretending otherwise and dwelling on the past only turned everything to bitterness. Far better to have Harry playful above him, smiling and grinding gently down against him as a tease before the main course. Just the thought caused a flicker of warmth at his core. "Didn't you always like me eager?"

A grin spread onto Harry's face the instant Eggsy asked. An arched brow followed, but it was clear Harry knew exactly what Eggsy was talking about. "That's true." Harry brushed a finger over Eggsy's nose. "I love to see that look on your face. Just waiting. Wanting. Trusting that I'll give you what you like." Harry brushed his lips over Eggsy's before Eggsy felt the brush of warm fingers against his cock. Harry palmed his hand between Eggsy's legs until they fell apart again. Harry's eyes were softer when he pulled away, but the spark hadn't left him. 

"You did, though." Even when Eggsy hadn't been certain, Harry had always surprised him. Slowly, gently, but it had always been a surprise, and always something enjoyable. The learning curve between staring at sports magazines and experimenting and having Harry show him things had been steep indeed. "You always did."

Harry blinked. The press of his hand slowed, but didn't stop. The other came up to stroke Eggsy's cheek and brush through his hair. Eggsy could see that he'd touched something in Harry. 

"I am forever grateful you let me." 'No matter what happens', Harry didn't add. But Eggsy was with him now, and Eggsy wasn't regretting what Harry had shown him. "I'll always be grateful to have you." Harry smiled and though it was tinged with memories, it wasn't a sad smile. He placed a kiss on Eggsy's shoulder and rubbed his cheek against Eggsy's soft skin, looking up at the boy like he was freezing Eggsy in his mind. Harry must have a lot of those mental snapshots. 

"Don't talk like that." Eggsy had seen too much of that sort of thing. Adults trying to make things sound nice for kids like him when everyone could hear the sadness that wasn't spoken. It was like every time his mum had told him everything was fine, or going to be fine, when it wasn't and things were just about to get worse. Everything unspoken settled like a block of ice in the stomach and kept you wondering when things were about to turn to shite. "I ain't goin' nowhere. You don't gotta memorialize me like I'm 'bout to disappear."

The slightest furrow creased Harry's brow, and perhaps he was surprised to hear Eggsy say that so confidently, but some of the sadness did fall away from his demeanour. He stopped what he was doing to kiss Eggsy. "Ok," Harry agreed, lingering only a moment before he lifted himself up and reached for the bottle of lube at his night stand. "I believe you were in the mood for something else tonight, weren't you?" Harry warmed the gel between his fingers before he laid back down next to Eggsy, regaining his own eagerness as the seconds passed. 

Eggsy nodded. His throat closed up for a few moments. He remembered this, and he knew how he wanted this to go. In a way, he knew how he wanted everything to go. "I... yeah. Was lookin' at the video logs. Of you, an' stuff you did. How you got all beat up but still kept goin' until everythin' was done. You looked a bit like in that room I found you in. Dangerous. Like I thought you were. Or were gonna do to me."

Harry blinked again, giving no sign he was either hurt by Eggsy’s statement or intrigued. Rather, it took him a moment to dissect the statement. To understand how Eggsy was putting it into context and how Eggsy might feel about it, and it garnering this...enthusiastic reaction. 

"You don't find that side of me so frightening any longer?" Harry asked with a note of cheek in his tone. He didn't seem to be offended, and now that Eggsy had confirmed what drove him to drag Harry upstairs for an impromptu romp, well, Harry didn't look disappointed, either. 

"I, uh..." Eggsy flushed, looking stricken by the question and avoiding the answer. He didn't understand his reactions, himself. He didn't think he was supposed to find Harry like that intriguing, whether he was torn up and dying in a storage room or hunting him down for play instead of for real this time. He hated the idea of Harry killing anyone innocent, but remembering how held slept close to so many weapons without any notion of how deadly Harry and the house were around him set his blood aflame. "I didn't say that, did I?"

That got an instant smile from Harry, but he looked like he was holding it back a little for Eggsy's sake. "Not in so many words." Harry traced a finger down Eggsy's stomach, one that left warm lubrication glistening behind it, and Harry's smile took on an edge. "But it's clearly doing _something_ for you." Harry's finger dipped down the groove of Eggsy's hip, but he didn't look like he was going to move any farther. "Or maybe you don't mind that it's a little frightening, hm? Maybe, even though it's frightening, you know now that I wouldn't hurt you and that changes things a little?"

Harry was trained enough at reading people to know when he'd struck on something important. Eggsy still was admitting nothing out loud, but his body reacted well enough. Dilated pupils fixed on Harry's smile, Eggsy's pulse sped up and, ever so slightly, Eggsy's hips tilted up against that finger and tried to coax it lower. "You wouldn't, r-right? Hurt me ever?"

Slowly, Harry shook his head. "Never." 

Harry's fingers glided around Eggsy's small cock, letting the lube coat it with light strokes. Harry barely applied any pressure, but he made sure Eggsy felt it before they slid underneath his balls and in between his cheeks where Harry began rubbing intently. He was very focused on Eggsy's face while he did so, perhaps looking for doubt, perhaps just wanting to see Eggsy hear that and take it in before Harry gave him a more pleasurable experience. 

Eggsy shivered, but Harry didn't see a hint of fear. Only pleasure, and the boy's surprise that he found himself so affected. He'd looked into Harry's past, right into the grisly details and consequences of that past, and found himself drawn in even as his sense of rightness wanted him to push away. Harry had hurt him, but not like that, and Eggsy believed that he wouldn't ever find himself staring down the barrel of Harry's gun.

Harry bent down to press a kiss to Eggsy's lips. It was soft and lingering and chaste, but Harry's fingers weren't. He pressed one into Eggsy, knowing the boy would open for him, and Eggsy did. Harry slid slowly in while Eggsy's hips tilted up to meet him and Eggsy was rewarded with a brush of pleasure when Harry began to stroke. Harry liked to nuzzle at Eggsy's nose while he did this. The warmth on his face didn't belong to the man in the photo, but they were one and the same. 

With a little more lube, Harry tested Eggsy's openness with a second finger. 

Eggsy's breath stuttered, and his arms looped around Harry's neck. Harry's second finger slid in easily, and the boy's eyes shut. Eggsy thought there must be something wrong with him to feel like this. To be thinking about that photo, or the night Eggsy helped Harry escape, or the night of being stalked in the train yard. Even the moment when Harry snuck up on him and pulled him into that maintenance room. Eggsy's mind spun out a different way it could have gone, that Harry had kidnapped him rather than let him go.

It was difficult to separate Harry enveloping him like this from that time. If Harry had any inklings on what he was thinking, and it certainly seemed that Harry did, Harry knew Eggsy didn't want him to stop. Harry didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with Eggsy still being attracted to him when he was working. When he was killing. When he wasn't necessarily a good man. If Harry wasn't a good man, then he probably wouldn't have a problem with that, would he? But Harry made sure, again and again, Eggsy knew that Harry wouldn't hurt him, and that was something Harry didn't have to do. There were so many times when he could have made Eggsy disappear, and hadn't. If Harry had kidnapped him that night, it probably would have turned out to be a lot more pleasurable than painful. 

It was difficult to say what would have happened. Eggsy had needed a great deal of time to process everything that had happened between them and what Harry had done. Certainly it wouldn't have transpired like the fantasy now unfolding in the boy's mind, where he'd been swept away back to Harry's home to be warmed up and convinced to stay. Even in fantasy, Eggsy had a difficult time imagining Harry ever trying to punish him. He never had, never had even raised his voice or berated him unkindly.

Even when Harry wanted him to do his homework and Eggsy didn't, all Harry would do was sit himself down on the couch with a book and let Eggsy know that he would be available for alone time when Eggsy was finished. It was very effective. But Harry, after Eggsy had run away, would have likely been too upset to act the way he might have acted in Eggsy's fantasy. Or the way he was acting now--calm, attentive, and assured of Eggsy wanting this. And insistent. 

Harry began mouthing at Eggsy's neck, tipping his head back to gain access and brushing his cock against the boy's hip.

Eggsy arched, rubbing up against him and exposing a tender length of neck. Part of him was still embarrassed for wanting this, but things were different now. Eggsy didn't feel tricked. He was making his own decisions. He had control. People would shun him if they knew, not necessarily because he was gay, but because of everything that had happened to him, and for choosing Harry again in any capacity. It was easy not to care right then, caught up in the rapture of the moment and hidden away from any outsiders knowing, but that didn't mean Eggsy never felt it or wouldn't feel it later.

" _Fuck_ , Harry," Eggsy breathed out as lips trailed down his neck.

Harry gave a quiet whine in answer. Eggsy felt him press closer. His fingers pushed deeper. "Ready?" Harry whispered into Eggsy's neck as he opened the boy up. Harry was very good at making sure Eggsy's body was relaxed enough for him, but he seemed to want verbal confirmation this time. This wasn't the mornings when Harry had woken Eggsy up with his head in between the boy's thighs and hot mouth around his cock. And Eggsy may have found a new and unexpected attraction to the dangerous side of Harry's persona, but they were still worlds away from where they'd once been. 

"Yeah. Please." Eggsy's voice was quiet, but Harry heard the words with all the weight they carried. Things were fragile between them, _they_ were fragile, but the boy wasn't hesitant or ambivalent about this. He rocked against Harry's palm and hid his face against his hand as Harry pulled out and reached for the bottle again.

The sight made Harry smile and Eggsy caught him at it, sitting back and just looking down at Eggsy while he coated his cock with lube. The smile became more of a smirk when Harry noticed Eggsy watching back. 

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Harry asked. "I really don't think you do." It wasn't just something to get Eggsy to open up to him. Harry meant it. After everything, Eggsy could tell. It didn't mean Harry's opinion was the standard, but it was something. 

Harry moved one of Eggsy's knees aside as he crawled in between the boy's legs. His cock brushed against Eggsy's stomach, sliding down until Harry had it resting against his entrance. Harry stroked Eggsy's hair before he brought his attention back down to line them up. When Harry began pressing inside, Eggsy's body opened for him. 

Eggsy's eyes closed at the feeling. He remembered the burning sort of stretch from every time they'd done this before. He'd felt disgusted with himself for missing it, once, like he was broken for wanting it again. Or for wanting Harry again. He still didn't know what to think about himself, or the fact that he clearly did find the parts of Harry that were morally troublesome to be attractive once he no longer felt to be in personal danger. What sort of person looked at evidence of the bodies their lover had put into the ground and couldn't wait to get him in bed?

Whatever sort of person he must be, evidently, as the thought made him tighten around Harry as he slowly pushed in. 

Harry put a hand under Eggsy's hip and lifted so that the slide was easier. Eggsy's body all but melted around him. Muscle memory, as it were. 

When Harry was seated fully, he paused to savour it, bending down and nuzzling against Eggsy's nose and leaving kisses against his lips and cheek and temple. When Harry shifted his hips in the smallest motion to get comfortable, Eggsy felt it. When Harry began pulling back for the first thrust, his cock brushed just right and he smiled with gleaming white teeth at the look on Eggsy's face. 

Eggsy knew now just how much of a threat lay behind that smile, to anyone but him. Harry could be merciless and cruel if he wanted to, or coldly uncaring, but he was never cold where Eggsy was concerned. Even when Eggsy squirmed against him, wanting more, he kept himself tightly under control and went slow, careful. Or perhaps it wasn't all caution and caring; Harry was watching the flicker of expressions across the boy's face, savouring the reactions and trying to read what Eggsy was thinking and feeling.

Harry was very good at it. And he liked what he saw. When the slow thrust of his hips became steady rocking motions, he lowered himself down, keeping his weight on one elbow above Eggsy's head while his other hand helped guide Eggsy's hips and keep him in place. If Eggsy had wanted to move, he'd have found himself trapped, but Harry didn't smother the boy with his weight either. 

Harry found his mouth again and this time his kiss wasn't chaste. There was always a point where Harry's control began to slip. Never completely, just a little bit, but Eggsy could always tell. It was happening to Harry quickly this time. 

Eggsy did eventually try to move, just to see. Harry caught him, thrusting a little sharper when Eggsy's hips were guided back into place, and the boy moaned and curled fingers into the older man's hair. Part of Eggsy drifted into a fantasy that _this_ was what had happened so long ago - Harry had caught him and dragged him back to his house, then set about convincing him never to leave again.

Surely Harry had dreamed of such scenarios. He'd admitted as much to Eggsy several times. And the fact that he was showing that little bit of force with Eggsy now after Eggsy had strongly implied he might like Harry when he was forceful was tantamount to admitting Harry enjoyed the thought of it as well. Even if he didn't know what Eggsy was imagining specifically. 

Harry moved his weight to his shoulder and pinned Eggsy's hips with his hands. His breath was coming faster and he began to nip little bites along Eggsy's collarbone. They weren't painful, but Harry did always like to taste him. 

Eggsy finally let his fantasy spin out. He could pretend Harry had murdered the gang he'd been running with to get him back. That he'd been whisked away somewhere secret where no one else would ever find him. Maybe he'd be locked in a room in Harry's house, or kept somewhere in the spy headquarters. Harry would come to him right before a mission to steady his nerves, and then afterwards to take the edge off, still smelling of blood and gunpowder.

Eggsy could smell his cologne now, a light spice so familiar and yet easy to imagine in a different scenario. Harry might have been able to keep him grounded with things like that. Harry would have used all his kind words and all his soft touches to keep Eggsy calm even when he wasn't free anymore. Harry was so good at such things. He was good at it because he meant it. Before that could sink in and turn sour, Harry's hand brushed against Eggsy's cock and the flat of his tongue pressed against Eggsy's neck where Harry had opened his mouth over it. He began sucking as he stroked Eggsy to the time of his thrusts, seemingly doing his best to make Eggsy forget everything else. 

Harry was remarkably good at that, too. Eggsy cried out and tried to buck up against him, but there was little room to move. Harry was holding him steady, pinning him in place with weight and pleasure. The slide back and forth inside him was complimented by Harry's clever fingers and mouth. Eggsy couldn't think, he just _wanted_. He wanted Harry like this, without consequences or worrying about how things were going to turn out in the end.

Harry did, too. That was why Harry had done all of this. Harry had wanted Eggsy, consequences be damned. And for the moment, it worked. When they were like this, they wanted the same thing. It was too much to think about whether Harry had moulded Eggsy to want what he did or to remember how much Eggsy had already had the inclination towards attractive men like Harry. Those questions waited for them outside the bedroom door. 

Harry let go of Eggsy's neck and his hips stuttered before he reached Eggsy's ear. He wanted to say something. Eggsy could tell. But even as he was losing himself in Eggsy, Harry held back, so he nibbled at the boy's ear instead. 

Eggsy cried out and arched, and Harry felt the boy tighten around him. Eggsy twitched against Harry's palm. He didn't want the moment to end so soon. Eggsy wanted to suspend time, maybe even suspend reality so it could be remade the way he wanted it. Some reality where everything bad had never happened and Eggsy could have everything that he wanted.

His limbs wrapped around Harry and Harry held him tight, still thrusting, still working Eggsy through the last of it until Eggsy's cock was too over-sensitive to the stroke of Harry's hand. Harry let him go, but didn't slow his own thrusts. He pulled Eggsy's arms from around his neck and wrapped the boy up in his own embrace, turning Eggsy so that he lay face down under Harry instead. In that position he _was_ trapped. The smooth sheets weren't as stimulating to his cock, but Harry wrapped both his arms around Eggsy from behind and pressed him down into the mattress hard with every motion. 

Harry's breath came shaky against Eggsy's ear before the man gave a quick series of thrusts and came. 

Eggsy held onto the arms around him and breathed against the bedsheets, feeling every twitch inside him until they became more gradual and finally ended. The warm tingling of afterglow had started to spread through him, along with the vague awareness of sore muscles. Eggsy didn't want to move or start thinking again. He wanted to lay right where he was and sleep in Harry's arms without having to worry about anything for a while.

Harry's hold on him loosened and he rubbed a hand up and down Eggsy's bare arm followed by a kiss to his shoulder. For a long moment they rested like that before Harry gently pulled out and turned Eggsy in his arms again. Harry didn't go far. He reached for some tissues at the night stand and cleaned them up a little, but no more than that before his arms were back around Eggsy. 

Harry's smile was soft again, sated and happy. He brushed his finger against the tip of Eggsy's nose and his smile widened. 

Eggsy smiled back, although his own expression was a bit crooked, one corner of his mouth curving up a bit more than the other. All of this was bringing back fonder memories. A man who only really cared about the sex and knew he had the power to get it wouldn't care so much about cuddling after the fact, or his partner's wellbeing. "...guess I don't got any more ground to complain about Bond girls in the films, huh."

Harry laughed. "Not my type, anyhow." He stretched and the movement was so familiar. Even the way Harry's fingers splayed across Eggsy's back before he settled again brought back a dozen memories. "But look at you," Harry went on, pressing a finger to Eggsy's lower lip, "You would be striking in cinema. Eyes so clear, mouth so red after...well, after _someone's_ been kissing it." Harry's smile took on a similar crooked edge, delighting at the thought. 

"Nuh uh. No way I'm doin' movies. Not that sort, anyways, not unless I got to be a soldier or... a sports star, or maybe a gangster. Or a spy," Eggsy added, nudging Harry in the ribs gently. "None of the romance stuff. I mean, could you imagine? I think that'd end up pretty borin'."

"I agree wholeheartedly on that front. No rom-coms for me, thank you." Harry was grinning now. "But I'll go for a good old-fashioned spy film any day." Harry let his head rest against the pillow and his fingers drift down the back of Eggsy's neck. They were comfortably warm if sweaty and sticky. But then Harry's eyes fell on something behind Eggsy on the opposite night stand and Eggsy didn't have to ask to know what it was when the man's face fell and he sighed. "We're definitely past time the Wilson's would be expecting you back."

"Shite. I don't wanna move." And there was the question of cleaning up. He couldn't come back reeking of sex. Eggsy pulled a face. "You didn't leave a mark, did you? When you was havin' a go at my neck for a bit? What're we even gonna tell them for why I'm so late back?"

Harry looked him over. "I think you're okay, just keep an eye on it for a couple hours. There's an art fair a few streets from Piccadilly Circus going on this weekend. We'll tell them we stopped there for a time after seeing the film. But I think a quick shower is in order first." Harry lifted himself up on his elbow and gave Eggsy an apologetic smile, curling his fingers in the boy's hair. 

Eggsy groaned, but he rolled over and got up. Delaying would only make things worse and make it less likely the Wilsons would buy the excuse. The boy gathered up his clothes from the floor and started making his way towards the bathroom. "I don't even know what I'm gonna do if they start askin' me a bunch of questions about what the movie was about."

"I'll look up a review online," Harry called behind him. 

A minute later, Harry joined him in the toilet. They both needed to clean up since it would be impolite for Harry not to stop in and say hello before he left. Especially since they deliberately turned their "official" meetings into very casual ones. He'd want to reassure the Wilson's that he thought they were doing a good job as well, and inform them of how Eggsy received his new laptop and not to worry about the cost. 

Eggsy did not look happy to be so rushed or to have the spell of the evening so abruptly broken. The boy had wanted to avoid thinking and consequences, and now all he was doing was thinking about how to avoid consequences. "Least it's not a long drive back. _Fuck_. Should've... set an alarm, or somethin'."

"It's alright. We haven't been late often." Harry turned the shower on while Eggsy stepped inside, but took the head down so that he could run the water over them both without getting their hair wet. Harry tried to sooth Eggsy with the weight of his palm and reassurances, but he was moving quickly, too. They simply didn't have time to linger. 

When they were finished in the shower, Harry wrapped a towel around his waist and used another to dry himself as he went back to the bedroom to find his own clothes.

Eggsy dried as quickly as he could and threw on his clothes in a hurry. They'd been stripped off early enough that there shouldn't have been any lingering musky smell on them, but Eggsy didn't know if he'd been able to smell it or not if there was. He'd have to hope for the best.

When he exited into the hallway, Harry was just about finished changing. "....y'know, I'm amazed you can get all those tiny buttons so quick."

"Practice." Harry tossed him a cheeky smile before he went to the office and unlocked the computer again. "Go ahead and search for a review while I pack up your laptop, would you?" Harry went to find a carrying case and wrap up all the cords Eggsy would need. It was a new model, but it wouldn't be so strange that it was out of the box since Harry would have presumably had to install the basic software Eggsy would need for homework on it. 

Eggsy nodded and slid into the seat, tapping away at the keyboard. It felt surreal that after the previous fight to get access that Harry let him use his computer now so unhesitatingly. No less a miracle than the fact that he was back in the house with Harry at all, or that they had just been kissing and having sex. "...right, I think I've got somethin'. Looks easy enough to remember."

Harry bent over his shoulder. "I'd better have a look as well. Just in case." He skimmed and nodded, then patted Eggsy's shoulder. "Good work, agent." Harry gave him a wink before he straightened. "Now go put your shoes on, we'd best be off." 

Harry picked up the computer case and led the way back downstairs. Mr. Pickle got up from his bed to greet them, Eggsy especially since he'd been upstairs for most of the night and Harry had trained the dog to stay on the ground floor unless he was otherwise invited.

Eggsy rolled his eyes but did as he was told. "That wasn't hard. Hard was sneakin' you out of that compound. Or sneakin' away in the first place. I hope you don't make an agent outta everyone that can look stuff up in the newspaper or on the computer, because you lot's gonna be in trouble right quick if your bar's that low." Eggsy reached out to give the dog a scratch behind his ears before lacing up his sneakers.

"Yes, yes, mock me for appreciating your help, however small." Harry cast his eyes to the ceiling, but rubbed Eggsy's shoulder before he went to find his own shoes. He knew why Eggsy objected to light-hearted praise, though. Eggsy _had_ done a lot more for Harry than simply help with a cover story when they were in a hurry and they both knew it. 

Harry checked himself in the mirror, finger combing his hair back into place and smoothing it down at the sides and back until he looked somewhat like his usual self. A touch more rumpled perhaps, but it would be barely noticeable to anyone but Eggsy. 

Eggsy tugged his coat on, and then they were ready, walking down the stairs to the garage and sliding into the car for the trip back home like so many times before. The new laptop was a comforting weight on Eggsy's lap. It didn't even the score, but a bit of power was a balm after having so little.

Harry knew he was going to be watched, but he couldn't keep his guard up forever. Eventually he'd relax, or briefly forget. He'd never know exactly when Eggsy was watching, and Eggsy planned to make use to that.

Perhaps most importantly, neither of them knew how long this would go on. Time had a way of revealing secrets no matter how hard one tried to avoid it. Harry knew that even better than Eggsy did. 

As expected, the drive wasn't long. Traffic was mild and they parked on the street not far from the Wilsons' flat. After one last once over in which Harry made sure Eggsy didn't look too dishevelled and there was no obvious bruise forming at the base of his neck, Harry led them up the walk and rang the buzzer. 

The door opened almost immediately to relieved faces. The Wilsons had, indeed, noted the late hour and their absence. "Goodness! Eggsy, Mr. Hart, where have you been? We've been worried sick wondering why you didn't call us. What happened?"

"My apologies for not calling sooner. We happened upon the art fair down on Leicester Square and lost track of the hour." Harry didn't miss a beat. "I'm terribly sorry to have kept you up worried for so long. But we had to stop over at the care services office to pick up a gift for Eggsy as well. Something you might appreciate," Harry added with a smile. 

Donna's eyebrows rose and her face turned from worry to mild curiosity. "What's that?"

"Why don't we step inside and I'll show you?" Harry asked and the Wilson's obliged, pushing back the door and taking Eggsy and Harry up the way to their flat. "Now, I was going to send this along with Eggsy's tutor, but we were in the area after our meeting and I figured it wouldn't be too much extra trouble. When Eggsy began his studies, I applied for a small grant that was just recently approved and we were able to purchase a laptop for his use. One that should last a few years and allow him to do his homework on his own." 

Kevin looked surprised, but quickly approving. "Well, we certainly weren't expecting you to do so much all in one day. And a computer of your own! What do you think about learning to program, Eggsy?" Very subtly, the Wilsons' disapproval at their tardiness began to turn around. 

Harry went on about the different programs they'd had installed for Eggsy's use as Donna led them inside and put the kettle on. He opened up the case to show Kevin at the dinner table and after only a few minutes, Harry had the man nodding along, enthusiastic about the new gift and how Eggsy might make use of it. 

"I haven't gotten to practice with it yet, since we just got it on the way back, but it's _great_ , don't you think? I ain't never had anythin' this fancy of my own before," Eggsy gushed, doing his best to look pleased at what he knew the Wilsons wanted to hear: that he'd be using it for learning, not for recreation. "I think learnin' to program would be neat, but it's gonna help with homework, I think. I might not hafta run to the library all the time if I can just look stuff up on this."

Kevin clapped Eggsy on the back, still leaning over to take a look at the programs Harry chose and the operating specs. "I think this will be a great idea. Thank you, Mr. Hart." 

"Just as long as you didn't have to purchase it yourself," Donna chimed in, bringing over tea for Harry and Eggsy. 

Harry took his and thanked her. "I had a feeling you'd say that, but rest assured, the grant covered it. And he'll have a bit extra if you need to purchase anything else for school when the time comes." 

It wasn't hard to see how Kevin was won over. The man worked as a programmer for a living and Harry had known the computer as a gift would distract him while the art fair would explain away the extra couple hours. Presumably, that busy of a day out would allow Eggsy to retire to bed early as well, with fewer questions from both the Wilsons. 

"I kinda wanna set it up, but I don't think I'm gonna be awake long enough for it. Maybe I can get to it tomorrow before lessons start." Eggsy didn't have to fake being tired. He still felt like he wanted to crawl into bed, although not for the reasons his foster parents would have guessed. "Thanks for the movie and dinner an' everythin', Mr. Hart. It was great, and I'm gonna get a lot out of the computer, I think."

Eggsy turned to look at Donna and Kevin. "Sorry you got so worried waitin' around for me."

The pair glanced at each other, but after a moment's thought Donna gave a shrug and an apologetic smile. "That's okay. I suppose we're just not used to it yet, worrying when you're out later than expected. At least we knew you were with Mr. Hart, of course." It was clear they were relieved, and pleased with the way Eggsy's time had been spent, but unsure how to feel about them returning later than expected.

"I must confess I have a bit of a reputation for tardiness, but I shall try not to make a habit of it for Eggsy's sake." Harry offered them a smile before he rose from the table. "I'll leave you to it, then. Eggsy, it was good to hear you're getting on well today, and I certainly enjoyed our time out. Donna, Kevin, you have my utmost appreciation for taking care of him so well so far." 

Harry and the Wilsons exchanged their goodbyes, and it wasn't long before Eggsy met Harry's eye one last time before the man was out the door.

Eggsy begged off promptly, protesting that he'd been fed quite enough that night and had gotten more than enough activity with rushing about to want to have an early turn-in to set up his new computer and go to sleep. His foster parents seemed to accept this with grace, which left Eggsy sprawled out atop his bed, logging into the system and waiting for Harry to enter back into camera range.

The drive wasn't far, but it seemed to take ages. Eggsy had to check the clock twice before the camera in the garage caught the large, black form of a car pulling in. Harry stepped out and made for the stairs, the headlights shutting off behind him and the feed switching to night vision just before he moved out of the frame. Eggsy knew he was ascending the stairs, however, because a moment later on the first floor, the door to the garage opened. 

Harry closed it behind him, but instead of moving on into the house, taking off his jacket or putting away his keys, he leaned there with his shoulder against the door. Eggsy saw him take a deep breath. He looked tired. 

Eggsy could almost picture being back in the house. He knew every inch of those stairs, that kitchen. He knew the suit Harry was wearing, and how it felt beneath his fingers. He'd seen Harry look fatigued before, but only when he knew for certain he was being watched. Perhaps Harry might guess that Eggsy would begin watching immediately, but he couldn't know for certain. He couldn't know at all, only that he would be watched at random.

Harry would know that even if Eggsy wasn't watching now, he could still go back through the logs. Harry knew Eggsy was going to see this. 

But Harry pushed off the door finally. He put his keys into the little bowl at the table by the door like Eggsy had seen him do dozens of times before and hung up his jacket. He loosened his tie as he walked through the hall and into the kitchen, but not all the way. Just in that comfortable position Eggsy often used to see when he came home from a long day at work. Eggsy lost him for a moment when he had to find the next feed, but he soon found Harry again, Mr. Pickle trotting after him, and Harry ignored the dog. Instead Harry went for the liquor cabinet and poured himself a few fingers of dark liquid from a small bottle on which Eggsy didn't catch the name. 

Eggsy watched the long-legged figure sink comfortably into an armchair he himself had sat in before. He knew exactly how it felt, the plush give of the fabric and cushioning and the lines of stitching holding it together, and how it smelled of years in a pleasant way instead of the depressing mustiness that so many pieces of old furniture had. Eggsy knew the rug Mr. Pickle laid down upon, having wrestled the dog atop it before and seen the floral patterns hooked in finely dyed fibre, as well as having felt it chafe and burn against his skin when he slid the wrong way atop it.

Eggsy had camped beneath those nearby chairs and throw blankets in makeshift forts, delighting to stories of the exploits of superheroes lit by torch. He'd set mugs full of tea or hot chocolate upon those tables, possibly been careless enough to spill and leave faint ring marks. He knew that house, but he didn't know if he really knew the man who lived in it.

Harry took a sip from his glass and then leaned back. He closed his eyes, resting there unmoving, entire body limp in the chair but for the tumbler in his hand. 

A part of Eggsy had wondered if Harry would come home and wave at all the cameras. Just to let Eggsy know he knew he was being watched. Just so they both knew that Harry wasn't completely powerless in this situation. But apparently not. Although this could be a show for Eggsy's benefit, too. Harry taking another long drink and letting his gaze wander aimlessly around the room. He had to be thinking about it. He knew very well where all the cameras were. Or maybe Harry really was just that tired. 

Eggsy thought that unlikely. Harry could get tired, but he still kept up his facade for quite some time when they were living together, regardless of how tired or injured or buzzed he happened to be. Harry had relaxed and lied to Eggsy the entire time about what he'd been up to and where his injuries came from. Appearances meant nothing with the man. 

After a few more minutes, Harry finished the glass and got up. This time, Mr. Pickle didn't follow when Harry went to deposit the glass in the dishwasher. The dog did get a scratch behind his ears when Harry returned to turn off the light and make his way upstairs. 

Eggsy watched as Harry went about his nightly routine, brushing his teeth, washing his face, changing into night clothes, all the while not once giving any indication he was aware of being watched. This must have been how Eggsy had acted on camera when Harry was watching so long ago. Just going about his routine, seemingly none the wiser. 

Harry had to know, though. That he was being watched that moment, or would be watched later. He had to know that as soon as Eggsy was alone, he'd take advantage of the new access to get a simple sort of revenge by stripping Harry's privacy away. Eggsy looked and looked, enjoying it all while trying to spot any tells, any hidden meanings. He saw nothing. Harry got ready for bed much as Eggsy remembered from other nights. He watched the older man finish his evening routine and turn down the lights, then walk towards the bedroom and slide under the sheets Eggsy had just been spread across not that long ago.

The only thing that might have been unusual was how long Harry's hand rested over the alarm clock after he'd set it. Only then did he turn off the bedside lamp and plunge the room into darkness. 

Night vision wasn't quite the same. Some light filtered in through the tall window at the other end of the room and it landed across the foot of the bed, making it appear very bright. Harry was still visible, however, laid out on his side, blankets pulled up to his shoulder, even if he was cast in odd green hues. Eggsy saw him close his eyes and after that, Harry didn't move again. 

Eggsy wondered how he could go right to sleep like that, after everything. Perhaps Harry was used to it, after having to sleep whenever he got the chance on long missions. Eggsy certainly couldn't drift right off like that. Knowing that he had access to the camera feeds made it even more difficult, because whenever he started reminiscing about things or thinking about his future and what he wanted, Eggsy now didn't have to entirely rely on memory. He could see Harry, or his house, any time he wished.

He had to wonder if Harry would act like this all the time. Like everything was normal. Just doing whatever. Intentionally boring, maybe. Maybe that was Harry's plan, to just hide whatever he was really reading or writing or watching or thinking. Harry could spend more time at the headquarters building he'd taken Eggsy to. He could practically live there if he wanted; he had his own room and everything he needed. He didn't have to stay home if he wanted to see friends. If Harry had any friends. If it had ever become routine for Landon to visit after Eggsy had left, Harry might just ask to meet somewhere else. 

There were so many ways Harry could still hide, but at least he couldn't all the time. The still form underneath the sheets proved that.

Eggsy watched. The cameras were limited, which was a curse at the moment but a blessing in retrospect. He could only see so much, but that meant the same for Harry as well. Harry wouldn't have all the recordings of him that he might wish. Just as Eggsy was finding. He could watch Harry's sleeping form but could only see so much of his face. He wanted more, but more was off limits beyond feeling the residual ache inside him and remembering the last few hours they’d spent together in detail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can join us this Saturday (10/7) for the chat at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	49. Chapter 49

Harry didn't stir for the rest of the night. Eventually, Eggsy had to shut down the computer, wary that it might be seen by Donna or Kevin should they unexpectedly open his door in the morning, and go to bed himself. Harry's still form stayed with him until sleep finally came.

* * *

The next morning when Eggsy awoke to his alarm, having to be ready before his tutor arrived for his daily lessons, he checked the feeds again and found that Harry had already left for the day. The logs for that morning showed Harry waking up, pulling himself out of bed, and getting ready in the same simple routine Eggsy remembered. Almost the same routine. Maybe it was just Eggsy's imagination, but Harry moved faster, more by rote than he had when Eggsy had been there. Instead of making a full breakfast, Harry pulled a few pastries out of the pantry and made himself a cup of coffee in a travel mug. It was all very efficient and before Eggsy knew it, he was out the door. 

Harry's evenings went by much the same. He came home, said hello to Mr. Pickle, made a small dinner, and then laid himself out on the couch with his laptop or a book or a puzzle to occupy his time and didn't move from there until it was late. He tended not to look at the cameras either, although Eggsy was sure Harry knew he was watching at this point. 

Days passed and soon it had been a week of Harry resembling a robot in the mornings and came home tired and alone. As far as Eggsy could tell, he didn't seem discontent, but Harry certainly didn't smile as much, either. 

Eggsy couldn't imagine that this was how Harry lived. _Really_ lived. He had to be limiting things, knowing that he was being watched. He had to be trying to hide as much of himself as possible. Perhaps because, like before, he was reluctant to reveal who he really was and how he really was, or perhaps trying to make Eggsy frustrated and drive him towards visiting in person more often. After all, if Eggsy's primary motivation was just to see Harry, he could now do that from the comfort and privacy of his bedroom without having to deal with their entire messy history and complicated emotions.

Often Eggsy would fast forward until Harry did something interesting and then go back to rewatch as he liked when he wasn't doing homework or otherwise occupied by his new foster parents. Harry took phone calls occasionally. They weren't usually long and most often consisted of making plans to meet with someone for lunch or do other things during the day and Eggsy figured the calls came from work. One of those, however, was finally the confirmation Eggsy needed to know that Harry was well aware he was being watched. 

Eggsy was sure Harry was speaking with Landon when he picked up the phone one night as he lounged on the couch. Their greeting was amiable, and Harry answered questions on how he was doing and then came the usual plans to meet later in the week, but then Harry began to talk about Eggsy. When he'd seen Eggsy last, how he wasn't sure when they'd see each other again. The caller seemed to listen and already be aware of the context. 

The boy's eyes narrowed. He didn't trust Harry's friend, particularly when Landon seemed to be a bloodthirsty liar. Harry had lied, and he'd killed, but he didn't seem to have enjoyed it. He'd done both because he had to, or because it was his job, or it kept him from something he wanted. Eggsy couldn't trust who Landon was, between the cold manipulative man who'd occasionally attempted to comfort him and warm him up, and the man who creepily watched him and got Harry to kill for him to suit his own ends and feelings. Of _course_ Landon already knew about everything. And of _course_ Harry had already told him.

Harry shifted down on the couch and made himself more comfortable. His long legs took up nearly the whole thing and he cradled the phone with one hand while the other let the book he'd been reading drop to the coffee table. But Harry kept talking about Eggsy all the while. He'd stop and listen sometimes, and the conversation had the kind of cadence that made it seem as though they'd had this conversation before. But again and again Harry repeated how much he missed Eggsy. Whatever feedback he was getting from the other end of the phone did not seem to tell Harry off for it. 

Eggsy couldn't stand it. Harry's words made him ache, and also made him suspicious. How much was he saying simply because he was betting on Eggsy watching him later? How much was true? And why did he tell Landon so much? If they'd been working together as partners in the field for years, it made a certain sense for Harry to trust Landon with his life when he was working a job. Not so much for the rest of his personal life. Normal friends didn't agree to let the other one watch them naked, showering, eating, having sex, and thinking there was nothing wrong or odd about it.

Which, Eggsy thought, perhaps said something about himself. Harry started things first, but he himself had asked for unlimited access to be able to watch and listen to Harry when he was at home. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't detached from it all.

On the whole, Harry didn't have normal relationships, either. Eggsy knew what it was supposed to be like, or what people said it should be like, anyhow. Harry wasn't normal like the families on the telly were normal. If he were on telly, Harry would have either been the villain or one of those Bond types, but even more reclusive. Even compared to his mum, with all her faults in drinking and choosing men, the relationships Harry seemed to have with other people were so far removed from the world Eggsy used to live in. As far as Eggsy knew, Harry only had two people besides his coworkers who were close--himself and Landon. 

When Harry hung up the phone, he stared at it for a minute and then sighed and got up to make himself a drink. 

Eggsy couldn't help but watch the sway of Harry's body as he walked into the kitchen, or the finely tailored lines of his clothing and how they clung just right when he paused and bent slightly to choose one of of the bottles from his collection. Harry certainly looked the part of one of those Hollywood spies or villains. All he was missing was an appropriately malevolent looking cat, or a metallic hand, or a missing eye. He was too kindly and warm looking, and slightly ridiculous with his dog, which was the reason Eggsy had even been taken in in the first place.

What a convenient excuse Mr. Pickle had made for Harry to visit that park. And talk with Eggsy. The dog still sat lazily sprawled out in the living room. Although Mr. Pickle was far better behaved than he'd been on those occasions in the park, he seemed to be getting mellower every time Eggsy saw him. But it had also been a couple years since Harry had first introduced himself to Eggsy, and even then Mr. Pickle had already been an old dog. 

Harry returned with a glass half filled and settled himself upon the couch again, this time slowly draining the glass while he paged through his book. 

Eggsy sighed in frustration. Harry wasn't doing _anything_. His book wasn't even interesting, from what Eggsy could make of the cover. There were no secret moments to pry loose, no pieces of new information that dropped into his lap. Harry's evenings at home were boring. Empty. Harry was only a bit more alive than the butterflies stretched out and pinned behind glass, gorgeous and biding their time in the quiet and the dark.

It remained that way for several more days. Harry had gone through a couple books by then and Eggsy was beginning to think he'd only ever imagined Harry being capable of fun when one evening, after Harry came home from work, ate dinner, and sat himself down on the couch as usual, he finally put the latest book down. 

For a long moment, Harry laid there, staring at the ceiling. He didn't look like he was ready to fall asleep, but he didn't look particularly awake either. He'd removed his jacket and tie a while ago, but hadn't yet changed into his night clothes as he sometimes did early. Just when it was getting to the point where it appeared he wouldn't be doing anything at all, he laid his hands over his middle and slowly, ever so slowly, slide them down his body until one ran over the groin of his trousers. 

Eggsy's eyes widened and he shifted closer to the screen, but not before anxiously glancing at his bedroom door. His foster parents had never come in without his permission, but Eggsy still preferred to wedge a chair under the door knob just in case. If he was about to watch what he thought he was, he didn't want to zone out only to find Donna or Kevin standing beside him, mortified and demanding to know how and why he was able to watch his social worker at home doing such things.

Harry still gave no indication that he was anything other than oblivious to Eggsy's surveillance. He definitely wasn't trying to hide himself or what he was doing, but even now there were no meaningful looks towards the nearest camera. In fact, Harry closed his eyes as one hand undid the button of his trousers and the other hand slipped inside. His head tilted back and his lips parted. He breathed soundlessly as that hand began to move back and forth, not quite gripping yet, still just using his palm. Even when Harry pushed under the band of his pants, he still didn't open his eyes. 

Eggsy followed the movements, watching intently. He'd never seen Harry do this by himself, when he wasn't just trying to tease Eggsy before they spent time in bed or on the sofa together. Harry had always looked at _him_ , not shut his eyes. Eggsy licked his lips and, as he watched, grew more and more aware of how restless he felt in turn. He knew what it was like to touch Harry like that, and for Harry to touch him like that.

After another glance at the doorway, Eggsy got to his feet and slipped out of his trousers. In seconds he was back on his bed, hidden under the covers and watching the screen again.

Harry was now gripping himself beneath the fabric of his trousers. Eggsy could see the outline of his hand and the tip of his cock jutting against the material. Very soon, Harry was liable to get frustrated with the restriction of it, but it didn't happen as quickly as Eggsy thought it might. 

Harry's eyes only fluttered open to glance down at himself when he finally did pull his cock out. His long fingers gripped it tightly before running in unison up its shaft. Harry's cock had always seemed huge to Eggsy, who had little to compare it to other than his own until he started seeing porn. And Harry was big, he supposed, but not like a porn star. His cock fit well with his large hands and long limbs. Harry breathed deep and closed his eyes again, this time tipping his head back as he started to slowly pump. 

Eggsy mirrored him, the laptop balanced on his knees while he drew his own cock out. He hadn't dared try to nick lubricant at one of the convenience stores, just in case his foster parents found it, but he had snatched up a spare bottle of lotion from elsewhere in the house. The feel of it was always a shock against heated skin, but thankfully it warmed up quickly. Eggsy began stroking himself in time with Harry's movements, hardly thinking about what he was doing other than that he _wanted_.

Unsurprisingly, Harry had lube conveniently on hand, but it wasn't until he got himself worked up that he stretched to fetch it from the end table. He then laid himself out again, eyes firmly shut and seemingly uninterested in undressing any further. His teeth clenched and his lips parted as he stroked, but even with the volume up as much as Eggsy dared, he could barely hear Harry. The man was either losing himself in sensation alone, or he was picturing something very specific. 

Eggsy wished he knew what Harry was thinking about. The point of making Harry give him access to the cameras hadn't just been a matter of trying to even the score. Eggsy wanted a look inside the older man's head, to have a better idea of who he was dealing with and who he'd fallen so hard for.

There was no way to know without more context. Eggsy could ask him the next time they saw each other, but that would of course rely on Harry telling him. If Eggsy wanted to, he could pick up the phone right now and demand that Harry tell him. Eggsy would have the benefit of seeing Harry while they were talking when Harry wouldn't be able to see him in return. But that would require breaking the moment, and Harry, even though he wasn't moving much more than his hand, did seem to be getting into it. 

Eggsy didn't want to interrupt, even on the off chance that Harry would tell him the truth. Harry would know for certain he was being watched right at that moment then, and perhaps even draw conclusions about just how regularly Eggsy was watching him. Eggsy didn't want him to get overconfident. After being kept in the dark and uncertain for so long, he wanted Harry to feel what it was like to be at someone else's mercy and not know what was going to happen.

Either Harry was secretly worrying about whether Eggsy was watching him, or he had the patience of a saint and was certain that Eggsy was. All things considered, the latter was likely true. Even from the first night of reading Harry's mission logs, it was very clear how well Harry had to act in long stints to do his job. Of course he was more personally invested in what he had going with Eggsy, and that might make a difference, but...between the two of them, Harry was the one used to waiting. 

Except for now. Harry's hand was squeezing himself at the tip of every upstroke and Eggsy could hear his faint breaths now. He wasn't going to last much longer and without Eggsy there with him, he didn't need to. 

There was something vaguely dirty about watching Harry like this, knowing permission or no. He could have done what Eggsy used to, of course, and hidden safely under the covers in his bedroom, but that wasn't Harry's style. Harry hid a lot about himself, but he'd never been shy regarding his sexuality.

Eggsy felt his stomach tighten the more he listened to Harry breathing and the occasional wet, slick sounds of lubricant. His own hand started to move faster, building towards a heated pressure at the base of his spine.

Harry finally moved when he came. His back straightened and his hips lifted off the cushions, but not a drop of cum landed on his shirt. Eggsy saw it glistening in the lamplight between his fingers, closed tight over the head of his cock, and obviously Harry was practised at that. He held that way before he let his body relax and slumped down into the cushions again. His breaths evened into a normal rhythm, if deeper than usual, and Harry let himself lay there before his eyes opened and he stared blearily at the ceiling. 

Eggsy bit back a soft cry and his own hand stilled, but unlike Harry, not without mess. Between the slide of his fingers, something clear and sticky escaped and dripped onto his bare stomach. Eggsy touched it while he caught his breath, and a realization caused him to go very still.

He was growing up. He knew this, obviously, but the evidence of what it meant was now right in front of him. Someday soon, he was going to start being able to cum, with more of this fluid, and then everything would begin to change. Including Harry, and what Harry thought of him.

The man on the screen reached for the box of tissue paper on the end table and cleaned himself up before tucking his cock away and refastening his trousers. Harry looked tired, but in that soft way Eggsy remembered although it seemed subdued. He pulled himself up and went to wash his hands and bin the tissue, and, it turned out, pour himself a drink. 

Harry drank when Eggsy had lived with him, but as far as Eggsy could see now that he was watching the man every day, Harry was drinking more. And almost all of it was hard liquor, not the wine they often indulged in over dinner. 

Eggsy couldn't remember Harry indulging that way so often. Indeed, it was more notable now that Eggsy got to see all of Harry’s day. Harry slept, got up and went to work, came home, ate dinner without the care he'd put into any of the meals they used to share, and drank while reading a book. Harry's life felt hollow, and it was all the more obvious how alone he was.

When Eggsy's mother had been depressed, she drank, but she went out with friends. She used the company of others to make herself feel better. Harry seemed to do nothing of the sort, and Eggsy had never gotten the impression that he might have. Even when they were together, there had been times when Eggsy asked if Harry had had other friends, or family, and the answer besides work and Landon was largely 'no'. 

Harry could be faking all this. He could be pretending his life was empty without Eggsy, but it was hard not to feel anything when seeing Harry this way. 

It would also explain why he might be loath to give up Landon as a friend, if true. If Harry's existence had always been this lonely, Landon would have been his main social connection. His _only_ social connection. Eggsy tried, and failed, to imagine what a life like that must be like - to spend most of your time at work pretending to be other people and lying to achieve the goals of your mission, then coming home to nothing. It wasn't even as if Harry could easily make friends in other places. He couldn't endanger his status as a spy. He couldn't fit in among the gay community, as Eggsy was pretty sure he wouldn't find a warm welcome there. If Harry tried to do something else, it would be like bringing his work home: pretending to be someone else in order to make people like and trust him.

That would be exhausting, and for naught. You couldn't build deep, meaningful connections in that way, not if you never opened up and were yourself.

And so that left Harry there. In his house in the city, all alone. 

He hadn't been open with Eggsy when Eggsy had come to live with him, but he had been...a little bit, it seemed. If it was true that Harry had had other boys before Eggsy, but never any he'd manipulated into living with him, if they had all been short affairs, then...in some small ways Harry did open up to Eggsy more than most. Not so small ways if one were to include Eggsy's discovery of Kingsman along the way. But Harry hadn't intended that to happen and Eggsy had no way of knowing if Harry would have ever told him if he hadn't found out.

Eggsy could never know the impossible. He couldn't predict things that had never happened in the past, because they never _would_ happen now. Harry had made the choices he had. Eggsy had found out about Kingsman, and about everything else. They both were where they were. The difference was that Eggsy had a great many choices in front of him, including the option to take advantage of Harry's contrition in terms of monetary boons and connections, and to make his own way while leaving Harry behind. If he so desired.

Harry would continue to live as he had, alone, going from one mission to the next and returning to an empty house unless he tried to ensnare someone else or live a lie with an adult spouse he managed to find.

Eggsy had no obligation to do anything about that. If Harry had lived that way before him, then Harry could manage that way again. Eggsy hadn't asked Harry to manipulate his life so that they could live together, even though every decision he'd made to go to Harry had seemed so real at the time. And Eggsy needed to take care of himself. 

On camera, Harry didn't return to the living room to finish his drink. He stood there in the kitchen, hip against the counter, lost in thought until it was gone. Then he headed upstairs to his office. Harry finally changed into his evening jacket and sat down at the computer, getting as comfortable as possible. There were no cameras aimed directly at the screen, but Eggsy could see Harry perfectly well as the man either brought up work or some personal project. 

Eggsy wondered what either might be. Harry might tell him, if he asked. He could find out if it was work Harry was bringing home, or something Landon had asked of him, or something personal. The boy's fingers itched, and he reached towards his cell before cradling it in his palm.

Temptation proved too much to resist. Eggsy shot another glance at the door to his room before dealing. He shifted lower on his bed, drawing the covers over until he was encased inside, alone with the blueish glow from the laptop in front of him.

On the screen, Harry visibly straightened. As though he really was startled out of his thoughts. But he reached across the desk towards the mobile and read the number on the screen. There was a definite pause before Harry hit the talk button and brought it to his ear. 

"Eggsy?" Harry's voice filtered crystal clear against Eggsy's ear, and he did sound surprised. 

"Hey, Harry." Eggsy kept his voice quiet, hoping that the covers muffled it even more. He didn't want to be overheard. "Thought I'd check in, see how you're doing. Is the week goin' alright? What've you been up to?"

Harry sat back in his chair, his face unreadable except that he was entirely focused on the phone now. If Eggsy had to guess, Harry looked almost suspicious. Maybe slightly concerned. Or slightly hopeful. It was very hard to tell what he might be thinking, but his hand tightened on the phone and the screen in front of him was forgotten. 

"Not much I suppose." Harry sounded comfortable, calm. But Harry always sounded comfortable and calm. "But I've been ok. Have you been well? Are you hiding from the Wilsons? You sound very quiet."

"Mmm. I want a bit of privacy, is all. The walls are pretty thick, but we both know that don't mean much. Thick ain't everything." Eggsy had a flicker of a smile before he hid it, despite the fact Harry couldn't see him at all. That in itself was comforting - he could see Harry, but he himself was well hidden for once. "I've been alright, just thinkin'. What've you been thinkin' about?"

Harry paused. His head tilted and he crossed his free arm over his chest. Eggsy caught the barest hint of a smile pulling at his mouth, a definite change from how he'd been a few minutes ago. 

"Eggsy, are you watching me?" Harry's tone sounded almost conspiratorial, not accusatory. It could have almost been taken for granted. Eggsy _had_ asked for the cameras and it was still only the first week, and now that he had Harry on the phone it was even more likely. But Harry was bringing it out in the open now, when he hadn't made any overt effort to engage with Eggsy through the cameras before. 

"Maybe I am. Maybe I ain't. Not like you're gonna know unless I tell you, right? Maybe you're down in the kitchen makin' dinner. Or maybe you're readin' something in the den, like you used to sometimes when I was doin' homework down there on the couch. Or maybe you're not readin' at _all_." Eggsy's whisper took on a smug, excited note. He hadn't expected it to be so much fun to watch Harry, or to think about watching him without the man knowing for certain that he had an audience.

Harry chuckled, his face brightening with amusement. He settled more comfortably in the chair and let his smile show. "Maybe I'm not. And maybe you are watching. Or maybe I'd like to think you are. Sometimes, anyway. Times like tonight." Harry wasn't looking at the camera Eggsy watched, but he was on display nonetheless. It was subtle, but noticeable, the way he was now making sure that Eggsy could see that smile, letting the line of his body face Eggsy's general direction as though he was letting Eggsy look. 

"You didn't really answer my question, though. Except for sayin' you like to think I'm watchin', sometimes. Is that what you've been thinkin' about tonight, me?" The change in Harry's body language was startling. It wasn't that different, and yet it made all the difference. Harry earlier had been dejected, quiet, and somewhat compact. Self-contained and shuttered. Harry at that moment was starting to unfurl a bit, taking up more space and light and exuding more confidence and happiness than he had earlier.

"You sound like you know very well what I've been thinking about tonight." Harry's voice dropped into a familiar, smooth tone. "I suppose I could be wrong, of course. You're right in that I can't presume on such matters. But I'd like to think that you know already." With that, Harry turned the monitor on its stand so that it faced the camera directed at Harry, and Eggsy saw himself there on the screen. Not one of their intimate moments. The photos Harry was looking at had been taken of them on holiday in France. Eggsy stood on a steep hillside, with the ocean and a small village surrounded by greenery below him in the distance. 

Eggsy went quiet for a moment. He'd expected Harry to be engaged in work of some sort, not reminiscing about a past vacation together. Certainly not with such an intent look on his face. It served as confirmation for earlier - Harry had to have been thinking about him.

Point in fact, he'd been thinking about Harry, as well, albeit with the aid of being able to secretly watch him instead of relying on memories. Neither of them had lasted very long while indulging their fantasies. "Maybe I can guess, but I'd like you to tell me anyway. Please," Eggsy added quietly. "I just kinda want to hear you."

Something about Harry's expression softened at that. He turned the monitor back the way it was earlier and met the camera's eye. "I was thinking about you," Harry admitted. "I was wondering what you've been up to. And then I...," Harry gave a soft laugh, "I had a bit of indulgence. And then I came up here, to the office, when I was thinking about how much I missed you." Harry thumbed the mouse next to his keyboard, an idle distraction. "One thing leads to another, I suppose. But I have a lot of enjoyable memories to think back on."

"I remember that day. In France, I remember thinking it was so weird that it was the same ocean I'd seen before, when mum had taken me south to walk on the beaches for a bit, but it all looked and felt and _smelled_ different because it was a whole new country. To me, at least. Probably old hat to you, since you'd been flyin' around doin' spy stuff for years by then." Eggsy laughed quietly, falling back into memories of his own. "And when we got those puff pastry things, you remember? I got some on me, and you made fun of me for it, so I knocked your arm so you got cream on your nose and glasses when you took your next bite."

"I remember. I remember having to wipe cream off my state of the art, Kingsman crafted, thousand pound glasses just for your petty revenge. But the look on your face made up for it," Harry chuckled and leaned back again. "I know how I must have looked, but you...the way you laughed then. Like you were having the time of your life and there was nothing in the world you'd rather be doing than shoving my face into a cream puff." Harry wasn't looking directly at the camera anymore, but his smile was wide and he was focused on nothing but the conversation. "It was worth it, I think."

"Hey, in my defence, I didn't know how much they cost. Come to think of it, shoving your face into one of those don't sound half bad right now," Eggsy teased. He promptly regretted it, as his thoughts followed and were derailed by the images his mind concocted of how he could utterly ruin all of Harry's careful poise, calm demeanour, and sleek lines. "Or somethin'. I don't know how you keep so tidy all the time, no matter what happens."

"Practise, I suppose. Although I do appreciate your attempts to provide a challenge. Some more than others." Harry looked like he was reading into the same notion that Eggsy was trying to pull himself away from. "What have you been thinking about tonight? Have you gotten all your school work done? Have the Wilsons still been treating you well?" Harry always asked these questions when they hadn't seen each other for a while. They were strange in their normality, but they would have been questions the Harry whom Eggsy had lived with would have asked. 

"Yeah, they've been ok, no diff'rent than usual. I've been havin' to get all my homework done as early as I can so I don't miss anything, otherwise they might start checkin' in on me to see how I'm doing on it." Eggsy didn't need to say why that was something he needed to discourage. He would have anyway after becoming too attuned to violations of his privacy and having his own personal space, but his foster parents couldn't be allowed to discover that his laptop wasn't as innocent a gift as it seemed. "Been thinkin' about stuff. You. Me. Um..."

Eggsy flipped back the covers briefly, giving the door another glance, but it was still firmly shut. He could faintly hear the Wilsons in the den some ways off, laughing along to some comedy show on the telly. Eggsy ducked back down and his voice dropped to barely more than a whisper. "Are you ever gonna not like me?"

Harry's face on the screen fell. A furrow formed in his brows. He definitely caught the weight in Eggsy's tone, but he didn't look like he understood where it was coming from. 

"What do you mean? Would you prefer it if I didn't like you?" Harry seemed stiller than he'd been just a moment ago even though he hadn't been doing much. It was hard not to wonder if the realisation of what Eggsy could be referring to didn't come to Harry the more he thought. It surely crossed the man's mind before. It would have had to. 

"No. No, 'course not." Eggsy's reply tumbled out before he could think about it, but once he did, he had to admit that it was correct. He still didn't know how to feel about everything that had transpired, but it had, and Eggsy didn't want to think about a future when Harry _didn't_ like him. "I just... wondered. If you were ever gonna change your mind about me. Like, in a couple years or so. You'd said you thought I was gonna leave eventually, but you never said if you wanted that to happen."

"When you get older." Harry didn't look either immediately relieved or disappointed. But, slowly, he shook his head. When he spoke again, his words were as quiet as Eggsy's. "I have to admit, I have always been attracted to you as you are, and as you were when I first saw you. But...no." Harry gave a sad smile, still avoiding the camera's eye. "You're Eggsy. You'll always be the boy I love. Even when you're grown up and living on your own, you'll always be my boy. I didn't know if I would feel that way when we first met. I didn't know if I would lose my attraction to you as you grew, but I was sure that you would find other lovers, ones that you were equally if not more infatuated with, over time." Harry swallowed. "But I...I don't know, now, if I will ever stop being attracted to you. I have begun to suspect that won't happen, and that was something of a surprise to me. I do know that I will never stop liking you. Or loving you."

"'Cause... I mean, I've already gotten bigger, since I left. And things keep changing, and are gonna keep changing, and I wasn't sure if... If you wouldn't be interested in me no more. Because I'd look so different. I don't... know how this sort of thing works. How you work. Since you didn't really ever seem interested in anyone grown up, I mean." Eggsy's throat got tighter and tighter as he spoke, and he could feel the threat of tears at the corners of his eyes. 

"Eggsy." Harry's voice cut through the line. "I will never stop loving you. That's not how this works." Eggsy could hear Harry take a breath to calm himself. "Disregarding the ways in which people--normal people, adults--fall in and out of love with each other, you've already passed that point with me. You're right in that I am very, very rarely attracted to other adults, and if you were another boy I knew and perhaps spent some time with in a more casual manner, then I might lose the attraction as you grew. But I don't think that will happen with you. We've already been through too much. I already have too many fond memories to lose that. When strong enough, each experience we've been through builds on another until I...I find myself with the potential for something I couldn't imagine. I know you'll grow up, very soon, but I can't say that I'll lose that interest." 

"I... I just-" Eggsy's throat closed up for a moment, and though his lips parted, he couldn't get a word out. The boy had to take a couple seconds to breathe, swallow, and calm down. The sudden silence couldn't have been reassuring to Harry. "It's already started. I've never had it happen before, but it did, but then I started thinkin' about everything else that goes with all of that and that I might start changin' faster, and what would happen if... if I made a choice, but then you decided you weren't interested anymore because I'd changed too much."

"That is a risk in any relationship if we change too much from the people we were before or drastically alter our appearance," Harry countered softly. "But I knew you would grow up. If you're starting to notice changes in your body, I knew that would happen one day. This isn't a surprise to me. It was always a given. This isn't something I can reassure you with absolute certainty over, but I have thought about it for a very long time, and as far as I can see, I can't imagine not having at least a healthy amount of attraction towards you." Harry sighed and ran his hand across his forehead in the image on Eggsy's screen, trying to shake himself out of melancholy thoughts. "I can imagine you as a young man, Eggsy. And if you still love me then, if you still smile at me the way you do now, and if you haven't grown a caveman's beard so that I can still see it, then I think I can anticipate how I'll feel."

Eggsy laughed at the thought, momentarily jostled out of his worries. "I don't think you need to worry about that, I'm not much for beards. Neither was my dad." Eggsy looked at the laptop screen, where Harry looked so small, and abruptly wished he didn't feel so alone. His bed was comfy and warm, and the Wilsons' house was secure. They were treating him very well, and he never had to worry about food or clothing or coming home to a dangerous situation, but Eggsy was alone. There were too many things he couldn't talk with Donna and Kevin about, and he'd never be able to. They'd never really understand him.

Harry gave a light chuckle in return and relaxed a little in his chair. "No, he wasn't. And you might look a little like him when you're older. Height, weight, general build an all that. I don't think that would be so terrible. That is to say, I was never secretly after your father, but he was an attractive man, as far as one can speak objectively about such things. However, there is one unfortunate detail I'm still quite certain of...." A smile tugged at Harry's mouth. "You'll always be shorter than me."

"Oh yeah? Well, guess that means I've got an easy reach o'things, then." Eggsy didn't mind staying shorter, although he hoped he wouldn't stay as short as he currently was. Trying to reach cupboards, much less other things, were a chore, and he didn't savour the idea of fielding jokes about his height for the rest of his life. "Better be nice to me. You've got a lot farther to fall before you hit the ground, and a lot more leg to trip up."

Harry laughed. "Planning retaliation already, are you? Of course you are. I shouldn't even have to ask." He shook his head and glanced at the camera, meeting Eggsy's eyes through the monitor. Harry's amusement quieted until just a subdued smile remained upon his features. It was hard not to wonder if he was thinking about Eggsy growing up, and about Eggsy's feelings on growing up, maybe. "I think you'll be a fine young man someday. I really do."

"Just not so soon," Eggsy whispered back. Harry's reassurances aside, Eggsy wasn't certain what was going to happen. Growing up had seemed like a dream, like it was never going to happen. When he was younger it had been because time, and the school year, seemed to drag on forever, and he wouldn't be grown up for another hundred years. Then he'd lived in a dream with Harry, and then the dream had shattered and all Eggsy could think about was scraping by from day to day. The boy was still getting used to the fact that he might be able to _have_ a future, that he wouldn't be dead-ended into a minimum wage job or a life of street crime.

Harry nodded. He looked like he understood. Maybe he was reading more into it, but Eggsy couldn't know for sure. Either way, Harry looked satisfied with Eggsy's stance on the matter. 

"So," Harry stretched his legs out in front of him to get comfortable, "how have you liked the surveillance system so far? I admit I have no idea how much or how little you've been watching."

"It's been nice." Eggsy paused, thinking about whether he should admit his thoughts or hide them. Hiding things would even the score between them more, as Harry had kept him in the dark quite a lot, but Eggsy was tired. Of lies, and pretences, and keeping everything bottled up all the time. "I like being able to check on you whenever, instead of just wonderin'."

"Mm, I'm sure." Harry sounded sincere. "I find it...comforting, sometimes. Granted, I don't know what you're thinking when you see me, and I know you've had a lot of complicated feelings about me in general, but it's hard to imagine you're watching out of pure retaliation." Harry made a face and gave a light shrug, perhaps regretting saying as much. "However, that could possibly be due to my ingrained familiarity with other people watching over me at strange times." 

Eggsy grimaced. Harry couldn't see it, of course, but Eggsy didn't like being reminded that he wasn't the only one who tended to watch Harry. Or to be watched, himself. "Don't get how you can do that. I mean, I guess it's different if you know it's happening and said it was ok, instead of it bein' a surprise, but... I'm not watchin' you for anything weird. And besides, I've seen everythin' already."

Harry's mouth dropped open and an expression of mock offence came over him. "And you don't want to see more? What's the point it you can't have a little fun?" A smile came sneaking onto his mouth to replace the shock. The teasing was light-hearted, but Harry sounded like he meant it. "I really wouldn't mind, you know. But alright, I do know we've come at this from very different positions. Still, if you can imagine it, it is nice to think that you are out there with an eye on me." 

"Harry...?" Eggsy shifted uneasily, not knowing how exactly to say what was on his mind. He didn't think Harry would get angry with him, but he might not tell the truth either. Perhaps that would tell him something else, if Harry tried to brush his questions off and lied, but Eggsy didn't want that either. He didn't want confirmation that Harry might still be shutting him out, but if he got the truth, that truth might also be uncomfortable. "Has it always been like this? You comin' home and...not really doin' much? But drinkin' and readin'?"

Harry's eyebrows rose. He looked mildly taken off guard. "Well, I...yes, I suppose that is generally how I spend my time. I dabble in the odd project here and there, but yes, I suppose I lead a fairly quiet life outside of work or...other projects." Harry inclined his head, obviously speaking of Merlin. "That might not have been what you were expecting. But when you live alone, well, it tends to look rather boring from the outside. And I get up to plenty at work, let me assure you. There is no question about that." Maybe it was Eggsy's imagination, but Harry sounded a bit rushed to defend himself as he went on.

"You gotta have something other than just... work for your boss, or work for your friend. I mean, even when I used to be stuck in school all day and then doin' homework all the time when I got back home, I still did _other_ stuff. Went out with friends, went explorin', taught myself new things. Watched movies. Some of the time you just seem to eat a snack and go right to bed."

Harry went quiet. He inclined his head in acknowledgement and sighed before he responded. "No, you're right. I've never had a particularly exciting home life, preferring to be as reserved as I have been, but it has become...more pronounced. I was not always entirely without hobbies though." Harry glanced up to the camera again and this time held its unblinking gaze. His eyes weren't stern, his face wasn't challenging. He looked like he was imagining he could see Eggsy on the other side. "You kept me busy for a long time."

"I don't think I count as a hobby, though." Eggsy hoped he didn't. A hobby was something someone did to pass the time, which could be easily dropped as soon as one got tired of it and something new came along. "Friend, yeah. Friend and crush, since you seem to have been followin' me around for a while, what with all the recordings and stuff. But you gotta have more than just me and _Landon_. Isn't there other stuff you like doin'? Like... I dunno, collectin' butterflies? You've got a lot of those around the house."

A tiny bit more warmth entered Harry's smile. "I do. I haven't thought about going out to find any more in a long time, but you're right, I do. I suppose you could say my work has been acting in place of any other hobbies that might occupy my time. It's been difficult for anything else to hold my attention until recently." Harry thought for a moment. "I used to keep a garden in the back. That spot where all the flowers grow, well, it used to be much more orderly, and several of them have died off by now, but I'd thought about expanding it across the side of the house, perhaps hanging some ivy. It was a pleasant way to pass the time on the occasions the sun was out."

"What kinda stuff would you put out there?" Eggsy knew nothing about flowers. The housing complex's limited space, and his mother's tight budget, never made for such luxuries as flowers or houseplants. Whenever he'd seen things, it was cheap plantings in the middle strip of greenery and trees, or walking until he hit one of the public parks, and neither of them had ever labelled what the plants were. Most people didn't care. They were temporary splashes of colour that died soon enough when the fall and winter came.

Harry thought about it. "Foxglove, perhaps. They come in a lovely shade of pink or violet, with little bell shaped heads and long stems. Something that would frame the back door nicely. Maybe some variegated ivy to even out the bright colours. I've always liked the idea of it climbing up the walls. It would lend a touch of character, don't you think?" Harry gave the camera a look like he wasn't quite sure if Eggsy was humouring him or not, like Harry wasn't sure if Eggsy pitied him for his life being so dull that the boy was willing to talk about gardening. "What are your hobbies lately?" Harry asked. "Rediscovering any old ones?"

"Uh." Eggsy flushed, not that Harry could see. He didn't know if masturbation counted as a hobby, and he wasn't certain he wanted to talk about it even if it did. "Still lookin' at programmin' a bit, I guess. I thought about askin' if I could do martial arts or somethin', since I kinda miss gymnastics, but it doesn't seem all that useful to other people. And I'm already so behind in school that I have to spend a bunch of time tryin' to catch up. I kinda want to learn how to do photography, but that's expensive too."

"I'd say at least one regular physical activity would do wonders for being cooped up inside studying," Harry offered, seemingly oblivious to what specifically Eggsy was thinking about. Although Harry had an uncanny ability to guess these things. Or, in the past, discover through surveillance. "In my opinion, you shouldn't worry about whether what you want to try is useful, or expensive. You're catching up with what's necessary already." Harry looked less uncertain now that they were talking about Eggsy. There was fondness in his face again. And then something caught his attention. Eggsy saw the moment it happened. Harry's eyes lowered in thought and his head cocked ever so slightly. Although, he looked hesitant about voicing his thoughts. "If you are interested in programming...you know we might have one of the best teachers available."

"Oh, _fuck_ no." The words poured out of Eggsy’s mouth before he could think twice about it. He already knew where Harry was going with that thought. He'd seen quite enough of Landon's office, and his work, to know the man was skilled, but that was besides the point. "I may not get a choice 'bout you bein' friends with him, Harry, specially after seein'... like, I get it, you don't have many friends. Or ones you can trust, which is the same thing. But I _don't_ trust him, he won't even leave me _alone_."

Harry flinched, obviously regretting the offer. "Okay. Alright. I won't ask. There are plenty of other ways to study programming. Probably easier when learning the foundation." Harry took a deep breath and visibly shook off that line of conversation. He cleared his throat and tried to make himself comfortable again, even if he looked a little stiff. "Whatever you choose to do though, you'll probably appreciate getting out of the flat once in a while, until you're back to your regular classes." 

"I am kinda stuck in here all day. 's not as bad as bein' stuck in my mum's flat, since it's so big and there's stuff to do, but I don't really get out as much as I want to unless we're doin' something together. There aren't other kids in the neighbourhood that I know, really, and I dunno what I'd do if I even met some. It's not like we'd have anythin' in common."

Harry hummed in acknowledgement. "Well, you have time to think on it more and see if there are any classes being offered nearby. You might have a better chance of making friends with a common interest. I'm sure Donna and Kevin would be happy to help you find something, and I'm always here for recommendations. But there's no rush. You can do what you prefer now, one step at a time." That quiet fondness was in Harry's eye again as he looked through the screen, warm and comforting. 

"I dunno if I can... um." Eggsy looked at the man trying to look back at him and reassure him without being able to see him at all. He didn't know if he should be impressed or unsettled that Harry didn't seem at all hindered by not being able to see him and looking at him just the same. "It just feels weird. I know they're not poor or anythin', but I don't like askin' them for stuff."

"They are expecting to help you with these things," Harry offered gently. "Whether you stay with them for years or move on, these are fairly normal expenses when it comes to having a family, and they might worry about you spending your own money when they could have helped. That said, they do know you have some extra from the supposed grant I obtained for you, as well as your own 'inherited' funds, so that is an option. All you need do is call me up and I'll help with whatever payments you need."

Eggsy went quiet. It was more than fair to ask Harry to pay for such things. It was the very least he could do, after all that had transpired. Eggsy knew he deserved more than money for what he'd gone through. He'd never gotten shy about wanting payback before, or having Harry pay for some of their times out to the theatre and other places. Eggsy couldn't put his finger on why the notion bothered him right then. "I don't just want money. Things. Y'know."

"I have no delusions that you do. You have asked for the reins to my surveillance system, after all," Harry gestured vaguely around the room. "However, it is well within my ability to provide these things for you, and the things you're asking for...well, they're not simply clothes and games and fancy trinkets. They're learning experiences. They might even turn into hobbies." Harry's eyes dropped from the camera. "And I would be happy to see you enjoying your time."

"You're not, though." Again, Eggsy spoke before he could think twice, and immediately regretted his words. Harry didn't need to be reminded about how sparse his life looked from an outside viewpoint. Eggsy hadn't decided on anything, after all, beyond having him start to make up for the damage he'd done and indulge a few needs Eggsy couldn't fulfil anywhere else. It shouldn't be his business to worry or feel discontent with how empty Harry's life was, and yet he did. "You're sittin' around feelin' sad, and drinkin' to try to forget about it."

Harry looked flustered at that, but he could only offer a light shrug. "No matter how I'm living, I am glad to see you doing well. I do mean that. They're not necessarily dependent on one another." Harry didn't look happy, but he did, as always, look like he believed what he said in spite of whatever he might be feeling. The corner of his mouth twitched, but it wasn't a whole smile. Not the kind of softness that warmed Harry's expression, not the kind that came so easily to him. 

"You're lyin'." Eggsy was sure, for once. Harry had lied so easily before, smoothing things over and tucking truths and horrors underneath the unbroken surface. "Not about seein' me do alright, 'cause that bit's true. But you ain't happy. It's fuckin' obvious. You don't do anythin' without me there. Is that what you did when I left? Nothin' but look for me?"

Harry shook his head, but not to negate the question. "More or less, yes. I was on active missions much more often though. I requested them. But you misunderstand. I don't mean that I'm all-around happy. I am happy to see you well, in spite of missing you and in spite of the unhappiness in my own life." Harry frowned. "You might not think that would mean so much to me, but...." He gave a little shrug again. He seemed to be doing that a lot, not quite having the right answers. 

Eggsy was quiet again. He didn't understand. He knew on some level that his mother would be happy he was doing alright, no matter what was happening with her, but that was different. She was his mum. "You requested more missions, huh. You trying to leave? Do so many missions that one time, you just don't come back?"

Harry's lips thinned and he swallowed. He didn't answer right away. "I suppose I was at the time. After it became clear you weren't coming back." He scratched at his temple, looking away from the camera and then bringing his eyes back as though he could see Eggsy waiting there watching him. "I didn't want to be home. I wanted to forget when I could. It kept me occupied. Kept me distracted. Forced me, even. There is no other option when I needed to play someone else. Even the fighting isn't so bad when you...well, when you need a rush to get you on your feet again. Or feel something else."

"Is that what you still want? Pack me off to someone nice, make sure I'm alright, and then take a bunch of jobs until you don't come back? Jobs for your boss, or for your _friend_?" Eggsy bit back his irritation at Harry's reference to playing other people. He still didn't know how much of the Harry he'd known was an act and how much was truly him. 

"I don't _want_ that." Harry's voice rose, but only just. "But it's better than nothing." He stood then and paced a few steps forward, but turned just as quickly. Harry didn't usually have pent up energy like that, but he looked like he didn't know how to contain himself. Until he went for the decanter and glass he kept at the side of the desk. Phone in between his ear and shoulder, Harry poured himself a drink. 

"Better than _nothing_?" Eggsy's voice rose before he remembered where he was, and peeled the covers back. He stared anxiously at the door, but a laugh track could be heard distantly from the telly in the den. No footsteps approached. He was still safe. Even so, he flipped the covers back over his head and lowered his voice. "Better to be _dead_ than just miss me? Is drunk one step above that, or what? You didn't used to drink so much. Least I don't remember so."

"I'm not talking about me, Eggsy." Harry closed his eyes. Even on camera, he looked frustrated. "I'm talking about you, that even there at the Wilsons' is at least a decent home, and you keep bringing this back around to me again. You're angry with me for drinking? For exhausting myself at work? For not having a life? I don't want to die, if that's what you're thinking. I just want to stop...." The air went out of Harry and he leaned against his desk, polished wood digging into his thigh in a way that looked painful, phone clutched to his ear. "Sometimes, I just want to stop feeling. Just for a little while." 

"Oh, boo hoo, you're upset? How the fuckin' hell you think I feel? After everythin', even now that I know you weren't gonna kill me or... keep me prisoner forever, or some shite." Seeing Harry upset hurt, and Eggsy didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about why, and he certainly didn't want to feel it. "You get away and pretend to be other people. Or can buy stuff to mess you up. I dunno, you probably have a bunch of things you can do to not feel anymore, or get out somewhere, or forget, or get someone else. I'm still just some stupid kid. No money, no education, nothin'."

Harry's eyes flashed up at the camera and for a moment, just a split second, Eggsy saw the hard and beaten man in Harry's mission logs. "You _asked_. This is not a fucking competition. And if it were, I wouldn't be winning." Harry looked away and kept his gaze averted. He took a drink and for a brief moment looked like he'd have preferred to throw it across the room. Or maybe the phone. But the fire was quickly leaving his body and he slumped against the desk again, still clutching the phone but no longer looking back at Eggsy through the lens.

"You're right, I did ask. But I ain't askin' now, I'm _tellin'_ ," Eggsy ground out, glaring at the laptop screen even though Harry couldn't see his face. He felt like he was burning up and freezing, all at the same time. With effort, the boy kept his voice steady. "You're not allowed to die. Not from taking a bunch of dangerous jobs because you feel bad. Not from drinkin' yourself to death neither. I've seen enough of that from havin' to watch my mum tryin' to drown herself."

Harry sighed. "I'm not going to die, Eggsy. Hopefully not for a long time yet. And I'm not trying to." Reluctantly, Harry looked back at the camera. "I know what that would do to you. And I know what kind of a situation that would put you in." He swallowed and then seemed to think better of leaving it at that. "I mean you'd still be taken care of, of course, and you would never have to worry about finances. I've seen to that in case of--in case anything ever did happen." The pinched look on Harry's face and the way his shoulders curled in broadcasted how little he liked thinking about it himself. 

"That's not what I'm thinkin' about, and you know it." Eggsy's mouth opened, closed, and then he ducked his head. His thoughts were jumbled from the surge of emotions coursing through him, some of which were very familiar, and some... he didn't want to look at too closely. It was all too much, and too soon, and Harry was supposed to be the strong, composed one he could lean on, not fragile and fallible. Not still the man in the storage room, broken and ready for some terrible end.

"I know. You don't have to justify not...wanting me to die. I just needed you to know that." Harry took a deep breath, perhaps sensing the mess inside of Eggsy's head and using the moment of quiet to calm himself. He was frayed at the edges, even if Eggsy was worse off. But Harry looked back at the camera and seemed to think for a long time before he spoke again. "I don't want to leave you, either. In any manner."

"Then don't." Eggsy's words came out in a harsh whisper, and he clamped down on the feelings of anger and despair welling up inside of him. He couldn't look at the screen. He'd wanted to see Harry vulnerable, but not like this. Not empty, devoid of everything that made him himself so long as his house was empty. It reminded Eggsy of what he remembered of his mother right after his father had died, constantly staring off into space with red-rimmed eyes until a glass appeared in her hand and she shut herself into her bedroom. The silence had been terrible. So had the muffled sobs that sometimes came from behind the door.

All he heard was silence from Harry until a soft "Okay" sounded through the phone. "I'd do anything for you, Eggsy. Do you remember that?" When Eggsy sneaked a quick glance at the screen, he caught Harry smiling for him. A sad smile, but one Harry might wear in defiance of death. Harry had told him that a long time ago, wavering only on whether what he did would hurt Eggsy. That part seemed ironic now, almost, but Harry had bet everything that Eggsy wouldn't find out the extent of what he'd done. 

"I'll want you to prove it. Eventually," Eggsy countered, but just as softly. He felt tired, the sort of bone-deep fatigue that he remembered from the early days of running away from Harry, when he hadn't slept or eaten and the cold had saturated him down to his core. Anything more he said right then might only make things worse. Eggsy wanted to curl up in the warm darkness and quiet of his bedroom and sleep. "I... g'night, Harry. I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"

"Alright, yes, we'll talk again soon." Harry didn't sound as collected as he usually did, but he managed. "Goodnight, Eggsy." 

When they hung up, Eggsy could still see Harry sitting on his desk, lowering his phone to his lap. He didn't move right away. He didn't straighten his slumped shoulders or even pick up the glass again. When Harry did finally move, he slipped off the desk, put the phone down, and mechanically went to get dressed for bed. 

Eggsy shut the laptop down and stowed it. His bedroom felt much darker as soon as the blueish glow from the computer was snuffed out. When he moved the chair and opened the bedroom door, the hallway outside was still deserted, and he could hear his foster parents still watching telly in the den.

Eggsy snuck off to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and changing clothes without really thinking about it, or about anything at all other than what he'd seen that night. When he got back to his room and slipped under the covers, Eggsy drifted off quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can join us this Saturday (10/15) for the chat at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	50. Chapter 50

Though there were no more impromptu phone calls after that, Eggsy did visit Harry again to look at more mission footage with the excuse of going to see his friends. As long as it was daytime and he wasn’t doing schoolwork, that turned out to be a reliable excuse. Harry provided lunch and dinner and anything else Eggsy wanted while he was there, but kept out of his way while he sat up in Harry's office. For the most part, Harry did not try to lure him into conversation about how much he missed Eggsy or attempt to make Eggsy feel guilty while he was there. 

Harry's life on camera, however, did not become any more interesting over the passing weeks Eggsy watched. Harry did pull out a film or two after their conversation, but he seemed to prefer his books when left to his own devices. Occasionally Eggsy saw him writing, and there were a few more phone calls with Merlin although it was hard to tell whether they were talking about Kingsman or their personal projects. 

Eggsy found it difficult not to be affected. Harry wasn't his responsibility by any means, and had anyone asked Eggsy in the not-so-distant past what he would have thought about Harry languishing so, Eggsy probably would have been pleased. After his painful and fearful experiences, reaping unending sorrow was well-deserved.

Except it wasn't. Eggsy couldn't have articulated his reasons if asked, but he didn't want Harry suffering as he seemed to be, and he thought that if anyone should have a say in what happened to Harry as recompense for his crimes, it should be Eggsy himself.

Talking to Harry directly wouldn't solve anything, Eggsy felt sure of that. The older man hadn't taken the discussion of the subject well seemed avoidant regarding the topic. He also seemed to have no intention to change his habits, which left Eggsy worrying about how things would end up in the long run.

If Harry wouldn't talk to him about things, and wouldn't change his habits after Eggsy had expressed concern, there was only one other person who actually knew Harry and might be able to sway him. Eggsy didn't like the notion of having to interact with him at all, but Eggsy also didn't like the awkward, tense quiet when he was at Harry's house, or the sadness that transpired on his laptop screen every night.

Harry's drinking was still worrying. He'd slowed down for a few days after their conversation, but it picked back up again. It was more subtle than Michelle's habits were though. When Harry drank, it looked like he might have been sipping water. He never lashed out at anything. Eggsy could tell when a bout of sadness overtook him only when it was really obvious; he never curled up on the couch with a bottle in hand or anything like Eggsy’s mother had done. It was simply the amount which he drank that was worrying. 

There were a few days here and there he went away on missions. Eggsy could always tell one of those was coming up when Harry suddenly stopped and started drinking water instead, limiting himself to only one drink a day. Then Eggsy would look at the cameras to find a note left on the dining table well within view with Harry's long scrawl proclaiming he would be out at work for a few days and not to worry. He never texted Eggsy his plans, simply left notes waiting for him if he were to look. 

When Harry returned, he was always tired. Often he left his suitcases in the hallway, undressed, and went straight to bed. But it was on those occasions that he looked more alive than he had before he'd left. He held himself more like the Harry that Eggsy remembered, with a quality of being more grounded in the world. Less like he might fade away by the time Eggsy checked on him again. 

It was with great hesitation that, after Harry's latest return from a work trip turned into a swift descent back into a grey limbo state, Eggsy picked up his phone and sifted through the address book. A name lit up on the screen that he never would have anticipated calling, not unless it was an emergency, and perhaps not even then. A sick feeling coiled in the boy's stomach and, after a few moments, he pushed the button before he could lose his nerve.

It rang twice, and then three times, and Eggsy wasn't sure if he was going to get an answer at all. Maybe he was being avoided just as much as the reverse. Maybe the man on the other end was busy. Or maybe he thought Eggsy was a nuisance now. Or maybe he just didn't care. Maybe, even, Harry had told him to leave Eggsy alone after the last time they'd seen each other. But after the third ring, the line connected and Eggsy heard a familiar Scottish burr on the other end. 

"Hello?"

"Oy, don't hang up." Better safe than sorry, but after the quick outburst, Eggsy didn't know quite what to say. There was a lot he _wanted_ to say to the man, but right then wasn't the time. Particularly if he wanted a favour. "Listen, I... I think we need to talk. Harry ain't doin' very well, and I bet you know that. Maybe longer'n I have, since you've got that whole thing for watchin'- Look, nevermind. Do you know what's wrong with him?"

Silence was Eggsy's answer. But Merlin didn't hang up. Eggsy could picture him sitting in his office, phone in hand and staring with his stony expression at nothing. 

"I would have thought that obvious." Merlin's tone didn't change, but if Eggsy had thought the silence was heavy, the weight of his answer was worse. "Harry's been doing better than he has been in a while now," he added, as though Eggsy had no idea. It was very difficult to tell how much condescension he was broadcasting when he kept his voice so moderated. 

"Wait, you're saying he was _worse_ than this? He doesn't seem to do much other than drink, read, and sleep. He sure ain't eatin' right, which I know is a lark comin' from me, but I remember how awful I felt after a bit of only eatin' out of boxes. Isn't it your job to do somethin'?" Eggsy felt another flicker of anger, this time directed at the man on the other end of the line. "He told me he ain't pickin' jobs hoping to not come back, but it ain't like he's being careful, neither. I thought you were supposed to be keepin' him safe."

"Would you like me to recount the times I pulled him out of irresponsible, near-suicidal risks on missions since you've been gone? Or the times I put a limit on how many missions he could run back to back before he ran himself into the ground? Or the times I kept him distracted enough not to drink himself to death at home alone?" A touch of ice lowered the man's tone, but it still didn't waver too far from his cold and polite standard. 

"Yeah, actually. _Have_ you actually done any of that, or were you too busy watchin' the two of us?" Try as he might, Eggsy couldn't keep a bit of guilt from eating at him. Harry wasn't his responsibility, and Harry was making his own choices, but he hadn't thought those choices meant living as a shell. "There's gotta be something that can snap him outta this. I thought he was doin' ok until he let me get access to his house cameras. He doesn't even _try_ to hide that he ain't doin' well now."

"If you'd _like_ me to provide Harry with distractions now and again, I am certainly available. But those projects have been largely put on hold since you've returned. I don't believe that is what you had in mind, however," Merlin countered. "Eggsy, did you really expect him to be just fine when no one was watching? I know very well what you've been through, but while you were struggling to survive, yourself, you had no idea what Harry was living like."

"So what _was_ he living like? When he wasn't stalking me across town at all hours of the day and night, with your help. An' don't tell me you really _know_ what I've been through. You know the facts of it, obviously, but you've got no idea what it was like. You weren't totally alone, and cold, and starvin', and unable to go anywhere without wonderin' if someone was gonna pop up out of nowhere and it'd be game over for you. You didn't have everythin' destroyed. I'm pretty sure you didn't have nightmares, neither."

"I really don't care what you think of me, Eggsy," Merlin shot back. "But as for Harry.... Harry is a career spy. They're not known for being the most work-life balanced people to begin with, but he was all but living at HQ for a time. He wouldn't go home. He would retreat before the others saw and then break down in his quarters. He drank. He would talk with me. It was all stilted, conversational circles at first. The only times he seemed to do well were when he was pretending to be someone else. Or simply didn't have time to think about anything else. He craved the work. He picked fights with anyone he could, civilians, mostly. It was very difficult not to keep it all under wraps from the organization, but he managed by the skin of his teeth, and with help."

"So how do we get him to stop? Like, you say he's a bit better now, but he's still not _good_. Didn't matter that I told him I was worried about him. He got mad, actually." Eggsy didn't want to hear what Merlin would most likely say: that the only way to make Harry better was to go back. Any choice that Eggsy made, he wanted it to be a real choice, not because he felt pressured into doing it. 

"He got mad at you for saying you were worried about him? That doesn't sound like Harry." Merlin sounded dubious at best and in spite of not having seen the man in over a month, Eggsy could picture it on his face. "Are you certain it wasn't the old arguments reasserting themselves between you two?" In spite of the judgement, it sounded like Merlin was on a particular track. 

"He told me he didn't want to pack me off, then take a bunch of jobs until he didn't come back, but it was better than nothin'. That he didn't exactly wanna die, but he wanted to stop feelin' anythin'." Eggsy still felt cold, remembering it, and the chill spread to his voice. "And then he made some to-do about how he was plannin', that I'd be taken care of money-wise if anything happened to him. Like that's supposed to make me feel better about everythin'."

"That probably sounds better to him than where you were a few months ago, if he were to die unexpectedly in either scenario," Merlin mused. "But I would believe him when he says he doesn't want to die. Harry's determination to survive is...quite strong. As for what I think you might be able to do to help him back on track as it were," Eggsy caught a small sigh and the creak of a chair. If he wasn't mistaken, he might have heard the bubbling of a kettle and the clack of mugs in the background. "It might be easier on the both of you to simply try to live in the moment. You don't have to feel it, but if you're willing, tell him you'll leave past accusations behind when you speak with each other if he'll do the same. Visit him once in a while. Make a date of it and do something together. And go on with your own life if you want to, but try to enjoy it. I think there are two things short of you going back to him that would make Harry's life easier again: knowing that you're happy, and time."

"I do visit. And we _have_ gone out and done stuff together. It's not like I'm constantly yellin' at him for the stuff he's done," Eggsy protested. Really, the boy felt he'd done more than Harry should have ever expected or hoped for. Eggsy hadn't even cut him out of his life, not even close. If anything, Harry should have been much happier, not languishing on a nightly basis. "It's not like I'm ignorin' him. Besides, it ain't like he can blame me for bein' unhappy he's putting himself in danger. Or startin' to remind me of my mum. I lost my dad to spy work, and my mum to a bottle, more or less. Am I just supposed to watch one of those take Harry too?"

"Eggsy. You cannot make a person be happy again simply by being fair, although I am sure Harry is more than grateful that you have been. Yes, you could have cut him out of your life. You could have done so many things you haven't done, or tried to do, to him. But none of that is going to take away the loss. If you want to help in that regard, you'll need to wait it out and let yourself live in a way Harry would be happy to see you living." There was a short silence on the other end of the line. Merlin was either thinking or taking a drink of his tea. "You obviously would be very sorry to see him go the way of so many others in your life." 

"It's hard to be happy if I'm watchin' him bein’ unhappy all the time." Eggsy wondered, very briefly, if he should take Merlin's words as a suggestive threat. That he even considered it was perhaps a measure of how deep the damage had gone - that he had to wonder if people around him were always manipulating him now, pushing and steering his actions. "Am I keepin' him this way, by seein' him at all? Is he feelin' worse because I'm around?"

"No, you're not. You might not believe me, but he really is doing _better_ now that you're back and speaking to him." Merlin paused. "There is no magic cure for this. Listen to yourself. You're still depending on him for your happiness just as you see him doing the same with you. In my personal opinion, that is a good sign this melancholy won't last forever, even if the past can't be changed." 

"I don't _depend_ on him for my happiness. I just don't like seein' him like this, is all." Eggsy bristled at the idea. He'd done perfectly fine on his own, and he was doing fine right then, too. He'd survived losing everyone and everything he'd known. "Nevermind. I thought you might know somethin' I didn't, since you've supposedly been friends and partners for years and stuff."

'Eggsy," Merlin interrupted before Eggsy could hang up, "don't write this off. You're not going to find an easy fix no matter what you do. Even if you went back to him this very moment. The both of you come to me for advice and leave grumpy when you don't get what you want to hear." Eggsy caught a short sigh from the other end of the phone. 

"Oh? What's he askin' you about, then? What am I even supposed to do? I can't just ignore what he's doin' to himself, and he won't listen to me. I don't know if he's even bein' careful on missions, or if you'll keep him safe, and I'm runnin' out of time." Lack of time was feeding Eggsy's despair. He would have to make some sort of decision soon. One about his living situation, and his schooling, and the direction of his future. Eventually, some doors were going to close and lock.

There was a definite pause. "What do you mean you're running out of time?" Merlin's tone was wary now, even though from Eggsy's perspective, the explanation was fairly obvious. But he and Merlin hadn't had many conversations about what might happen when Eggsy started going through puberty. If Merlin had had them with Harry, Eggsy didn't know. 

"I'm gettin' older," Eggsy ground out, as if it should have been obvious. "Harry says he'll still like me, but I don't know if that's true or not, and things are gonna change anyways. My foster parents are gonna expect me to stay and get adopted, or move on to somewhere else permanent. I can't keep bein' tutored forever, so I'm gonna have to go to a school at some point, and Harry's even mentioned a boarding school or summat."

"I see." Merlin responded with appropriate gravity, but there was a short pause before he spoke again. "I'll do what I can to help you get Harry back on his feet." His voice was softer. It sounded like a confession, something closer to Merlin than he usually let Eggsy see. "He might listen if we both ask him to kick the drinking habit until he's sober again. I'm not...very good at suggesting fun activities to do outdoors, but Harry might become more receptive if you continue those attempts." Merlin didn't sound particularly happy, but he was offering help and that counted for something. "I'll talk to him, if you'd like. All this might help, but if you want to make all these decisions about your life only when Harry's doing better, it'll be a race."

"What d'you mean, a race?" Eggsy thought he knew, but he didn't want to think about it. In part, he knew what would make Harry better: being with him again. Living with him again. What Eggsy didn't know was if that was a bet that he wanted to take. Living with Harry would be submitting himself to being in Harry's shadow again, with the pressures that went with that regardless of how much space the older man gave him. Eggsy would be betting his future, and his heart, and his well-being, on things very tenuous indeed. Perhaps Harry would never get better again. Perhaps, despite his assurances, he would grow tired of Eggsy and not attracted to him any longer, passing over him to someone newer and younger. 

"It's only a race if you're set on making all your decisions when: Harry feels better, your current family hasn't yet begun to pressure you about being adopted, and before you've gone through puberty. But it's difficult to guarantee those things will happen in the order in which best suits you." Merlin was getting a little more comfortable with giving Eggsy advice it sounded like. "I have my suspicions on what the both of you would prefer to happen, but I cannot say for sure how soon either of you will be ready."

"You know me so well, do ya? You get all that from spyin' on me, or did Harry tell you everythin' there is to know?" Eggsy couldn't resist taking a swipe at Merlin. He was still irritated that Merlin knew as much as he did at all, and that he was a mainstay fixture in Harry's life. "That ain't really equal, given I don't know nothin' about you. I don't 'spect you're more honest about things than Harry was before I ran off."

"I've never had an agreement with you to be fair, and you've never trusted me nor liked me much to begin with," Merlin pointed out. "But my suspicions are based mostly on your recent actions as much as they are on what I know of your past with Harry." Eggsy wasn't getting a rise out of him. Merlin sounded just as calm and as cool as ever. He didn't sound guilty, but he didn't sound like he was trying to directly provoke Eggsy either. Although if Merlin was, it was hard to say whether he'd be direct about it at all. 

"You're damn right, we've never had an agreement. Harry as much as said not to bother askin', because you wouldn't stop or listen to me anyways. I know Harry talks to you 'bout his problems, and even though I don't like it, I can't really say nothin' about it, because he doesn't really have anyone. Even though I don't got anyone to talk to neither."

Merlin gave a quiet hum of acknowledgement. "Most people do need someone to talk to. I understand that Harry used to be your confidante, but now the problems you have are with him and that doesn't work so well anymore. Yet the nature of your troubles doesn't allow you to seek out anyone else to share these details." 

"No." A weight settled in Eggsy's chest. He felt heavy all over. "...an' that's why he talks to you, 'cause you're the only other one who knows who isn't gonna freak about it and get him arrested. Maybe because he knows similar stuff about you, but I don't think he helps you out to keep you from blackmailin' him, or else he wouldn't keep tellin' you more stuff that could get him in trouble, would he."

"No, Harry doesn't help me because he's afraid I'll blackmail him someday, nor do I wish to blackmail him someday. He helps me because I helped him, because we became friends--as much as any two people such as ourselves can have friends." Merlin paused. "I do not wish to blackmail you someday, either. You might not know that. When Harry first came to me and asked for my help getting closer to you, I was intrigued. I watched your relationship grow, and you may not like my reasons for it, but I have no desire to put you in harm's way because of that."

"Why are you even watchin' me, if you're just interested in him? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you're not interested in me." A flicker of jealousy sparked to life again, nonsensical though it was. Merlin wasn't a threat in that way, Eggsy was pretty sure, and yet in other ways he was a rival. For Harry's friendship, attention, time, trust, all sorts of things that mattered.

For a long moment, there was silence on the other end. "You are important to him," Merlin began, carefully. "I hadn't expected that I'd keep an eye on you if you left, in the beginning. It's difficult to explain, especially when you're already upset with me, but after all that time you spent with Harry, time that I watched you spend with him...I suppose I was still curious about you. And he was worried sick over you, besides, and he'd agreed to leave you alone at that point. I made no such agreement and so I was in a position to help if something were to happen to you out there." Merlin sighed. "Of course you're out of that sort of danger now, so perhaps we can chalk it up to continued curiosity." 

"Why? You're not... like him, are you?" Eggsy hadn't thought as much, but then he'd not really thought Harry would like him in that way in the beginning, either. "I mean, he's never said anything about something like that, although maybe he wouldn't. I just know you have him do jobs for you. Harry said it was bad people you picked out, but I don't know if that's true either."

"I'm not...it's not like that...why I've followed you." If Eggsy didn't know better, he'd almost think Merlin was having trouble responding to that question. "I don't have any particular interest in young boys, as a whole, nor in getting closer to you, physically. It's...." Merlin sighed. "There have been times when you've very nearly threatened my relationship with Harry, and I am aware that you fear I might be a threat to you in a similar manner, but it is...," Merlin sounded like he was forcing himself to go on, "It is also difficult to dislike you. You are well aware how much we've been on opposing sides, but that apparently hasn't been enough to shutter this curiosity, for lack of a better term." 

"Oh? So why are you so curious? And how come you bein' curious doesn't mean you respect what I want? It ain't like I'm gonna like you any better if you keep on doin' stuff that involves me without me bein' ok with it." Eggsy kept his voice steady, but gooseflesh prickled up along his arms. The admission was subtle in the other man's words, but it was there: interest in getting closer. Eggsy didn't know what to make of that, and he certainly didn't feel comfortable with Merlin being close at all.

"I'm not sure I can answer that." Merlin almost sounded like he was looking for the right words. "You're important to Harry, and therefore by extension have become important to me. But I am not willing to give up what sight I have of the world, and I am not willing to give up Harry. Can you understand that?" It was difficult to picture Merlin in his office now. He wasn't as closed off as he'd been before, but the times Eggsy had seen him in person had never been very comfortable. 

"Not really. It's not like I want you to stop doin' _everything_ I don't like. I just don't like you watchin' me without permission. 'specially when I know that, um..." Eggsy flushed, then felt all the angrier for his embarrassment. He had nothing to be embarrassed about. _Merlin_ should be the one feeling shamed for spying on him like that, but Eggsy still felt shamed. He hadn't expected to be filmed, and he certainly hadn't expected anyone else watching the intimate things he and Harry had done to one another.

"When you know that I was watching the two of you together?" Merlin confirmed followed by silence. Eggsy could tell he hadn't wanted to give that up, even now. Harry had explicitly told Eggsy that Merlin wasn't watching them in their intimate moments now, and Merlin was at the very least confirming it. "Are there any times when you wouldn't mind me watching you?" Merlin asked, curiosity evident in his tone. 

"I... I d-dunno. I guess it'd depend on why you're watchin' me, and if I knew you were gonna do it and said it was ok. And... I don't really know you, so it's kinda weird. Like having some bloke from the tube follow you around, watch everything you buy at Tesco, and then try to watch you in the loo. I mean, why are you even interested in watchin' me walk to the park, or the corner store, or all that?"

Again there was silence. "I'm not sure I can explain. Not in a way you’d understand, or sympathise with. But that’s how I watch everything I find interesting. Sometimes it’s for work, or a project, and other times it’s just to…connect with people, in a limited manner of speaking.” Merlin gave a quiet sigh. “Harry warned me I’d have to let you get to know me in person if you were ever going to be ok with it, and even then there is no guarantee that you won’t find me just as intolerable as you do now.” 

"I don't know anything about you, other than you're a liar like him. That you make him do projects that involves him killing people. That you watch me and don't care how I feel about it. I told him I didn't want you watching me and Harry told me he couldn't stop it. Or wouldn't." Eggsy's distaste showed through his tone. He didn't care for anyone who didn't give a damn about his comfort or opinions.

"You also know the man you cared for confides in me, and that I helped him and continue to help him as best I can. That I care about him. Although maybe all that doesn't mean so much to you now. Maybe you even dislike me for it." Merlin's voice eased back down into that calm, reserved state. If he was hiding real emotion, it was hard for Eggsy to tell. "I am speaking with you now, offering what advice I can give you and willing to help."

"Okay, maybe I don't. Maybe I know Harry needs it, but I don't gotta like it. Or you," Eggsy countered. "I don't even know if your help is real, or if it's just a bunch of shite to help you get what you want. Hell, I don't know the same about Harry neither. Both of you seem like blokes who do whatever it takes to get what you want. But I don't know who else to talk to. Harry don't trust nobody else. No one else knows him. Nobody else knows he's doin' so bad, or gives a shite about it."

"If I give a shite about him, then you can be assured that at least some of what I'm saying must be true, don't you think?" Eggsy heard the creak of Merlin's chair and imagined him sitting back. "I never anticipated you'd like me. Even early on when Harry asked me to look after you, and especially not if you ever found out anything remotely interesting about me. You're right in that I know Harry far better than most, and I'd be willing to answer some of your questions about him, if you have them. Not all, perhaps, but some. It's up to you whether you believe me."

Eggsy thought. It was a risk, but not a great one. He doubted that there was anything he could give away to Merlin that he wouldn't already know. Merlin might lie to him, but he might not, and even if he lied there might be a way to discern the truth. Eggsy didn't think he had much to lose, and he had much to gain by getting insight from another perspective. "Alright, shoot. Why's he so fuckin' depressed, if I'm not refusin' to see him and other stuff? Why's he not given up on me? How come he trusts you so much when you have him murder people, from what I can tell?"

A soft, surprised laugh came from Merlin's end and it was strange to hear. "Alright, then. One at a time, shall we? Harry is _still_ so depressed because he misses you. However, I think he is much happier to have you back in this capacity, even though he might not seem like it from your perspective." Merlin sighed. He sounded like he might be rubbing his temple. "Harry has a lot of regrets over how things ended between you. He was desperate, and infatuated with you, but he is sorry for many of the ways he hurt you. Or sorry _that_ he hurt you, in the cases where your ethics differ. As for why he's not giving up on you, I think that one should be obvious. He still cares for you. A lot. Even though the two of you are separated for the most part. At this point, having watched him this long, I don't think that's going to change. And as for why Harry trusts me...," Merlin slowed at that one, thinking. "I've never let him down. I've kept him alive on missions, I've not only seen him at his worst, I've been the voice in his ear trying to get him out. The only one he could depend on in many occasions. He's revealed things to me that I haven't judged or rejected him for. That inspires a level of trust and loyalty most people don't find in civilian life."

"Stuff like not turnin' him in to the Met? Is that why he does favours for you?" Eggsy couldn't imagine Harry murdering because he _enjoyed_ it. Even knowing he was a spy, and had killed without hesitation. Eggsy could easily see Harry killing because he thought he had to, or for a mission, or to protect himself, but not because he really wanted it. Even after everything, he seemed too gentle for that. "How's he regretful? I mean, he's kickin' himself over losin' me, and I should damn well hope so, but he's the one who mucked it up."

"There you have your answer. He screwed up. He regrets losing you like he did, and so he's grieving over that as well as not having you anymore. I should think that wouldn't be too hard to understand." Merlin sighed again. "And if you need to frame my afterhours relationship with Harry as an exercise in blackmail, you might get the basics, but you'll never understand. He gave me one of his secrets and asked for my help. That was when I trusted him enough to give him mine and ask for the same in return. It's mutually beneficial."

"So, what? You've both got blackmail fodder on each other, and you're friends because of it?" Much as Eggsy still bore anger towards Harry on some level, he found it difficult to measure the two men as equal. Harry had done terrible things, but Eggsy was still alive. So was his mother. They'd gone through terrible times, but they'd survived, and without permanent physical damage. Merlin had had people burned to death, and probably more. Harry had executed it, but Merlin had planned and asked for it. Death wasn't something a person could bounce back from.

"If that is the only way you can see it, Harry and I could blackmail each other into ruin if we were ever foolish enough to do so," Merlin offered, "but neither of us are. Are you so convinced that we're only in this because we're stuck with each other? Or that he's stuck with me, to be more precise?" Eggsy wasn't good at hiding his motivations from this man, just like he wasn't good at it with Harry. 

"Yeah, maybe so. Harry didn't get much choice, with you watchin' him all the time. So you found out stuff about him. He had to trust you, because you're his partner. And you didn't grass him, so he's gotta do things for you." Or so it made sense to Eggsy's mind. He couldn't see Harry enjoying killing. Being capable of killing, for certain, and part of him was still afraid of that aspect of the man even though he was now certain Harry wouldn't ever try to kill him. But enjoying such a deed? Not so much.

"Do not spin this lie in your mind, Eggsy," Merlin's voice turned suddenly cold. "Have you listened to a word I said, or are you just determined not to believe it? I was never aware of Harry's predilection for young boys, nor you specifically, before he told me of his own volition. Harry does not _have_ to do anything for me, although it was fair of him to return the gesture when I put enough work into helping him. He is not indebted to me at this point in time, nor I to him, and I have certainly never forced him to work for me, overtly or otherwise."

Eggsy recoiled. He found it far easier to believe that Harry went along with things through pressure and obligation and misguided loyalty than by willingly volunteering. A Harry who might knowingly torture and murder people who were at least somewhat innocent was not the Harry that Eggsy was building in his mind and wanted to picture. "What, you think Harry's really the sort of bloke who burns someone alive for no other reason than you askin'?"

Silence met Eggsy's ear. "You don't think that's reason enough for Harry?" Merlin asked, voice quiet. "He wouldn't kill for just anyone, you understand. You know he's killed for you. He does this for me, more than for himself, but I don't think he doesn't get anything out of it. I think it's the feeling one has when they give someone a gift, that sense of excitement, of accomplishment, of fondness in kindling happiness in another." Merlin spoke of these things with warmth even though his actions and that emotion should not have been paired in Eggsy's mind. 

"Oy, that's different! Harry's done stuff for me because he loves me. He wanted to give me stuff I ain't never had, or he was tryin' to protect me. That's a lot different than... than givin' someone a bunch of dead bodies as a present, like some kind of modern Jack the Ripper tryin' to impress his mates." Eggsy _couldn't_ think that they were the same. He couldn't think that Harry would murder someone at random if he asked and suggested it would make him happy. Or that protecting him was the same as buying him treats and new clothes. Neither could Eggsy stomach the idea that Harry held a similar sort of affection for the other man, to the point that he'd give Merlin such sick gifts to match the man's personal tastes.

"I like to think of him as a particularly large cat," Merlin replied, calm as ever. Or so he sounded. "But yes, your circumstances were different. Harry knows you wouldn't ask him to kill someone, and if you did you would probably regret it or at the very least feel very guilty over it even if you ultimately believe it's for the greater good. He knows I won't, and so I imagine he has less qualms about doing the work he does for me."

"You're a fuckin' liar. And anyways, why would you even want Harry to kill random people for you? They ain't done nothin' to you, so why do you even care?" Eggsy's voice took on a raw edge. He felt as desperate as he sounded. He wanted to think of Harry as good, or at least as better than that, despite knowing everything Harry had done to him and his mother.

"Eggsy," Merlin's calm didn't falter. He sounded like he was choosing his words carefully. "You must understand that I don't feel the same way about this as you do. Killing people, in and of itself, is not necessarily the end goal. I know this is not right by your standards, nor by most anyone's standards." Merlin went quiet, like he didn't have an explanation to give Eggsy. He'd never tried to offer Eggsy excuses before, nothing other than that was simply the way he was, and it didn't sound like he had any new ones. 

"So what is it, then? The end goal? How come you still do it, even though you know nobody else thinks it's right?" Eggsy felt guilty the moment the words were out of his mouth. He knew that he, himself, had done things other people had thought wasn't right at all, like stealing, drug running, and getting involved with gangs and violence. Harry would have been judged as a terrible person who deserved jail or worse by a lot of people, some more for being involved with him than for whatever violence or killings he'd been involved in for spy work and other side projects. It was hypocritical to yell at Merlin, but Eggsy couldn't help feeling repulsed, particularly at how it made him reassess Harry by extension.

"The end goal is simply to see them fall from grace, in whatever way fits. And the reason I don't care what others think is because it's one of the few joys I get out of life." No longer was there any trace of nonchalance in Merlin's tone. He'd gone near perfectly flat. It was difficult to hear those words without an imagined cruelty behind them, but in truth there was nothing. Whatever Merlin enjoyed about it, he wasn't experiencing it now and it sounded like it gave him little pleasure to tell Eggsy. 

That wasn't what Eggsy was expecting, either. Eggsy had imagined Merlin taking some sort of perverse pleasure in dealing out imagined retribution or cruelties with glorified viciousness, or doing other things simply because he knew it brought unhappiness and discomfort. Like watching Eggsy against his will, for instance. The idea was cartoonish, but Eggsy could more easily imagine that than what he was hearing: a heavy sense of truth that there was an emptiness behind it. "...why? How come you don't enjoy other things?"

Perhaps Merlin hadn't expected his reply because there was a brief pause again before he spoke. "It's just the way I am." It didn't sound like the man explained this to anyone very often. The way his speech slowed suggested he was considering his words carefully, possibly for Eggsy's sake but also possibly because he didn't have an explanation memorized by rote. "I've always preferred to watch people rather than get close to them. This is...an extension of that, in some ways. In others it is...tied to my personality in ways I'm not sure that I care to share. Or can explain."

Eggsy couldn't see how it could be explained, either. This wasn't like hating and liking certain sorts of foods, or being introverted instead of extroverted. Even Harry made sense, for how he was, at least in Eggsy's eyes: he found slightly different things attractive than what one usually saw, but other than that complication, Eggsy felt like their relationship was much the same as any other gay couple's might be. Complicated by Harry's career and duplicity, and by the law, but not as completely alien as what Merlin seemed to be confessing. "How's that work, though? You don't really get to know people just by watchin' them. 'Specially if they don't know and can't interact back. That's like...thinkin' that you're really close mates with a bunch of people on the telly, just because you watch their programs every time they come on."

Merlin made a quiet noise that sounded somewhere in between a hum and something mildly unhappy. "I suppose one might compare it to that. Sometimes these people are...people I know in person, like yourself and like Harry, but either way, all of them are real, not merely characters on a screen. I am very aware that if a connection forms, it almost always goes just one way, but I usually prefer it that way. There are things I dislike about normal, polite communication. Touch. Being seen. Being a point of focus."

Eggsy thought about that, and Merlin seemed even stranger. Eggsy couldn't imagine going around never being seen, and never _wanting_ to be seen. Hiding for so long out of fear of being found had been very depressing to experience, point in fact, as had the feeling before that when he'd felt like adults around him would prefer he didn't exist. After growing up with a lot of affection from his mother and a completely different sort of affection from Harry, lacking touch had also been hard to deal with. "...was it 'cause people weren't nice to you, at some point? That seems pretty lonely. And kinda weird for you to have a dog, since they like seein' and touchin' people so much."

Eggsy received a short laugh at that. "Dogs are a little different. But I confess even Baxter is not always easy to take care of. You and I have had very different childhoods, but our experiences add upon each other like strokes of paint, in ways that we can't always predict what the final picture will look like in the end. I don't think you want to listen to me try to explain which experiences in my youth might have made me the way I am. But...you might now understand a little more about why I am so reluctant to give up my methods of surveillance, and why the work I do for Kingsman was a natural fit?"

Eggsy was quiet for quite a few moments. He didn't want to admit it, but upon reflection... it made a bit more sense. Merlin could be lying, of course, but Eggsy didn't think he was. Something was wrong with Merlin, _clearly_ , as normal people weren't like that at all. They didn't want to be invisible, unwatched and untouched, spectating their entire life from a distance. Normal people also didn't like destroying the lives of others simply because that was one of the few things they enjoyed. A person like that would be an easy fit for working surveillance and technology for an amoral organization. "... yeah, I guess so. Um."

Eggsy didn't see a tactful way to broach the subject, so after a deep breath, he simply ploughed on ahead with the first words that came to mind. "You're not watchin' weird stuff with me, are you? Like, Harry said the cameras in his house ain't on when I'm there, but you're watchin' in other places. You're not watchin' stuff in this house, right?"

"No. I haven't installed any surveillance inside of the Wilsons' flat. I've kept my word on that," Merlin reassured him. "I see you when you're outside now, and that's...that's all." There was something odd about the way Merlin trailed off, like it pained him. "Harry's let me stay tapped into the feeds at his house so long as they're on and you're not on the premises. So I've been aware of his increased alcohol consumption and general ennui, but I don't see the two of you together anymore unless you leave the house."

Again, Merlin could have been lying, but Eggsy didn't think he was. Particularly now that the boy suspected that Merlin wasn't smooth at lying like Harry was. Harry made a living by tricking people right to their faces, while Merlin did his best to stay invisible and quiet. He had no routine opportunities to practice deception like Harry did. "Does that bother you? That you don't get to see us together in his house?"

Eggsy was met with silence. When Merlin finally answered, he did so slowly. "If you're asking whether I think I have the right to such things, then no. Not that that detail bothered me. But if you're asking whether I miss it...then yes, I do." The voice on the other end went quiet, seeming unable to give any more of an explanation than that. Maybe Merlin didn't think one was required, or maybe he disliked admitting that aloud.

Eggsy was equally quiet. He thought about every time he'd interacted with the man, and if any of those memories could be trusted. He thought about how powerless he'd felt, running from electronic eyes and knowing who was behind them and the man trailing his footsteps, and how much else he'd seen. Harry had tricked and manipulated him, which complicated every 'yes' Eggsy had ever uttered, but Merlin hadn't asked. He'd just watched.

What Merlin had revealed about himself was worth thinking about, but Eggsy wasn't certain he was ready to think at all. "I... hm. I can't talk more right now, but maybe we can talk another time. If you want to." Agreement to talk to Merlin was about all he could stomach right then, beyond his knowledge that Harry wouldn't cut the man out of his life and he had little right to ask that.

"Alright. I'd be agreeable to that." If Merlin was relieved to move on, Eggsy couldn't tell, but he at least did sound agreeable as he said. "I appreciated our talk tonight. And if you need another opinion regarding Harry, you can give me a ring again." It was almost strange that Merlin was this agreeable. He didn't sound enthusiastic, exactly, but he really didn't sound bothered either. Not like the very first times Eggsy had met the man in person. There were times when Merlin had seemed more relaxed, too, but they were fewer, and only happened when they weren't arguing. 

"Thanks. And, uh..." Something Merlin had said earlier weighed on Eggsy, and he swallowed his pride and forced the words out. "Thanks for takin' care of him. When he was worse than this. I didn't know he was that bad. I thought he'd be less upset now because I've been actually talkin' to him and seein' him and stuff."

"He _is_ less upset now that you're talking to him. It is helping," Merlin pressed, "But thank you. I'd help Harry regardless, but I am glad to hear you appreciate it." Eggsy hadn't seen Merlin smile often, but he could imagine the man was doing it now. He sounded pleased. There were plenty of times when they'd butted heads, and maybe Merlin appreciated the thanks all the more for it. "Get some sleep, Eggsy. We'll talk again." 

"'Kay. Later, then." Eggsy hung up and rubbed at his ear, wondering just what he'd gotten himself into and why Merlin, who admitted he didn't get much joy out of life in general, was happy with him at all. It wasn't like Eggsy had changed his mind about Merlin at all, or the things he did.

It _was_ interesting, though, that Merlin seemed to employ the same distant viewing tactics with everyone across the board. And that he didn't seem to be focusing on the loss of access to intimate footage so much as the lack of any footage at all.

Eggsy really would need to think on that more. He'd gone in with a lot of ideas about how Harry and Merlin worked that Merlin had flatly denied. Harry had never insinuated that Merlin might be blackmailing him or that he was uncomfortable with their friendship, although Harry might not have been willing to admit such things to Eggsy. Still, Harry never even hinted at it. If that was the case, that all Harry did for Merlin wasn't merely out of obligation, then that would mean that some of Eggsy's deepest fears about Harry could be true. 

Eggsy scrubbed a hand over his face. He didn't want to think about any of that right then. He had enough problems to mull over, and he'd find time for one more before he next decided to see Harry. He'd told Merlin the truth - he felt like time was running out for him in so many ways. The present was like the lull before a storm, or the appearance of endless flat terrain until one found oneself falling into a hole. Eggsy was going to be expected to make decisions soon, and he didn't know what to choose.

Belatedly, he realised he didn't hear the telly from the hall anymore. A few minutes later there came muffled voices, which was somewhat reassuring because if he couldn't make out what they were saying, Donna and Kevin would have had a hard time making out what he was saying even if they'd been listening. A knock sounded at his door and Donna called to him, "Eggsy, are you asleep dear?" He could just make out her say goodnight to Kevin.

"Not just yet." Eggsy flipped around and rearranged things so everything looked less suspicious, more normal. Belatedly he realized the chair was still under the door handle and he slid out of bed, dumping his cell phone on his dresser and moving the chair as quietly as he could. His mind was racing, wondering if they'd heard his voice if not his words.

When Donna opened the door, he was climbing back in bed. But she had a soft smile on her face and didn't look suspicious. "Just wanted to pop in and say goodnight." Out in the hall, Eggsy could see the light on in the toilet where Kevin was getting ready for bed. "Don't stay up too late, okay?" 

This was routine by now and it didn't sound like Donna was going off script. If she'd heard anything, she wouldn't pretend like she hadn't. Normal people didn't do that. At least, the normal people Eggsy knew didn't do that, which were probably fewer in number for him than for most kids. 

"Ok, I won't. Promise." Eggsy felt that the promise might be difficult to keep, given how fast his heart was beating. Donna couldn't be suspicious, and yet every paranoid segment of Eggsy was screaming at him that he had to be in danger. She knew. Kevin knew. They just were pretending that they didn't know for the moment, for some reason. Soon enough the other shoe would drop and then he'd be in trouble. 

But she just smiled and nodded, her cropped hair bouncing over her shoulder and giving her a merry quality that Eggsy wasn't used to. "Okay then. Goodnight." And with that, she turned and closed the door behind her. 

For minutes more Eggsy heard the sounds of them brushing their teeth and moving through the hall, all the usual sounds of night time. There was no hushed conversation, nothing to suggest that anything was out of the ordinary. 

Eggsy still listened. He knelt beside the door, ear pressed to the wood, on alert for any sounds that spelled danger. He listened even beyond the point at which he heard them walk to their bedroom and shut the door, and silence take over the house. There was nothing, nothing at all, and yet Eggsy's heart didn't stop racing.

After many slow, painful minutes, the boy crept back towards his bed. He didn't feel any more reassured. If anything, he felt fragile, like his room was a tranquil safe bubble about to be popped at any moment. He took up his phone and laptop one more time and flipped the laptop over to the camera feeds in Harry's house.

The lights were off on the ground floor. Mr. Pickle was curled up in his bed in the living room. Harry was nowhere in sight until Eggsy moved up to the master bedroom. The lights were off there, too. Harry lay in bed with the covers pulled up to his shoulder. His glasses and watch sat on the bedside table and it looked like the alarm was set. His eyes were closed and he looked free of worry, like he often did when he was asleep. It was strange seeing him like that through the distance of a camera and with the aid of night vision. Strange when Eggsy used to see him up close while he slept. 

Eggsy was surprised at how strongly he wished he was there, in Harry's bed with him. He was no longer afraid of Harry in the same way he had been, and being close to him now felt safer. Eggsy knew how dangerous Harry was and that that danger was directed outwards towards anyone but himself. Eggsy wouldn't need to worry because Harry wouldn't allow the sky to fall down on him and everything to tumble apart. He could fall asleep knowing anything and everything would be kept at bay until he was ready to deal with it.

Even if Harry wasn't infallible, he had been able to protect Eggsy from everything but himself. Harry wasn't just willing; he wanted to. Donna and Kevin might have wanted to take care of Eggsy, but they had been willing to take care of any kid who came into their care. They didn't know him. Harry.... Harry went overboard with getting to know Eggsy. Harry was the complete opposite of how the Wilsons had taken Eggsy in. He wasn't a parent, but he was willing to take care of Eggsy. 

Harry lay in a bed that Eggsy knew was exactly as warm and as comfortable as he remembered. And Harry missed him. Harry missed him a lot. 

Eggsy took out his phone. He touched the screen and the buttons, navigating through until Harry's name and number lit up. He stared at it for a long time in the dark of his room, bathed only in the light of his laptop screen and the green glow coming from his phone.

With effort, he turned both off and resettled into bed. It took some time before he drifted off to sleep, and when he did, it was to thoughts of Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can join us this Saturday (10/22) for the chat at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	51. Chapter 51

For another week Eggsy watched Harry over surveillance and, when possible, visited his house after study hours to review the mission logs. It was becoming something of a strange routine for them, and if Eggsy wasn't mistaken, even when he wasn't there Harry did seem to be attempting to make his home life a little livelier. Harry watched more movies. He even set up one of Eggsy's old game consoles and tried to play a bit. He quickly became bored and set it down, but it was at least an attempt. He touched himself more, and Eggsy could only sit there and watch. The most telling thing Eggsy noticed, however, was that Harry had a drink with dinner now, and nothing after. Even if he looked listless, even on the days when he didn't do much other than read a bit before going to bed early, Harry cut his alcohol consumption back dramatically. 

And then one evening Harry asked if Eggsy would like to break the routine and go out to see the still newly opened London Eye over the weekend. 

"Sure, that sounds good." Eggsy wasn't necessarily enthusiastic about the London Eye itself, which seemed like an amusement for children more than anything, but he hadn't seen Harry in person for several days. That was several days of mulling over his situation and feeling more and more anxious. Deliberating at a distance wasn't doing him any good or giving him any new information. He missed seeing Harry, and Eggsy thought he might get a bit closer to making a decision if he took stock of his feelings when in Harry's company.

Being in Harry's company while not shut up in his office watching mission logs was key. Eggsy got the feeling Harry could tell how anxious he was, too. Harry hadn't said anything outright, but tensions between them hadn't raised again after that call, and Harry seemed to be doing what he could to provide a calm atmosphere whenever Eggsy did visit. 

So they made plans that Eggsy would use the excuse of seeing his friends again for the day, but he would be home before curfew. In Eggsy's case, and for the time of the year, that meant after dark, but he'd gotten the Wilsons more used to the idea by now. So long as he wasn't out _too_ long after dark, and checked in once in a while via text. 

Eggsy packed his backpack for a day out with friends and waved goodbye to the Wilsons, walking a good ways away before waiting for Harry to pick him up. He didn't have long to wait. A familiar car pulled over to the kerb and Eggsy slid into the side passenger seat without hesitation. He didn't have to fake the smile that lit up his face. "Hey, Harry. 'Bout time we got you out of the house a bit."

Genuine amusement shined in Harry's eye. "Good to know I have you looking out for me." He checked his mirrors and then they were off heading down to the river. It was a bit of a drive with traffic, but Harry kept up the light mood. "We might as well pick up some treats along the way. See if we can find a decent chocolate shop, perhaps. Are you in the mood for anything in particular?"

"Yeah, chocolate's always good. And caramel. The good kind that actually is soft and melts, not the ones like bricks that you gotta chew and chew until they're good." Eggsy had only ever had the good kind when he'd pocketed them during his early years, and when on the streets, but he remembered them fondly from when Harry was treating him on a regular basis. "Maybe we can get some that I can bring home? Not enough that the Wilsons will notice, but so I've got something for late at night? I've been stayin' up a bit lately."

"If we can find them, you can have as many as you like." Harry's smile hadn't faltered yet. He glanced at Eggsy whenever he had the chance to take his eyes off the road. There was just as much excitement humming in him as there was in Eggsy, if not more. It was that quiet, restrained excitement that seemed singular to Harry, and maybe it was a little more restrained than Eggsy remembered him being, but it was there nonetheless. "What's been keeping you up?"

"Thinkin' about stuff. The Wilsons. Me. You. Your friend." Eggsy tried to pretend at nonchalance, but he was watching Harry closely. "I called 'im, you know. After things. 'Cause I was worried about you, and he was around when I wasn't. I think he expected me to try to rip his head off, and didn't know what to do when I didn't. He's been worried too, y'know."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "He mentioned you'd called, but he wouldn't give me the exact details of what you'd talked about." Harry hesitated before going on. "I know he's been worried about me. For quite some time now. I was surprised to hear you'd called him." There was a question in the tone of Harry's voice. He'd encouraged Eggsy to get to know Merlin before, so it didn't sound like Harry was wary of that, but it wasn't hard to see why he was curious why Eggsy had reached out. 

"I wondered if he knew more about why you weren't doin' so well. And about some other things." Merlin's words still echoed in the boy's head. Eggsy pondered whether he should say anything, then silently chastised himself. If he never asked, he'd not know, and it wouldn't change whether things were true or not. It would simply leave him in the limbo of unknowing forever. "How come you do favours for him?"

Finally Harry's smile faltered. He didn't avoid the question, however. "Because he's a close friend. Because I invited him into aspects of my personal life and then he invited me into his." Harry didn't look like he was sure Eggsy would understand. The way he shrugged when he spoke, it wasn't like he was trying to imply it wasn't a big deal, but more like he was implying that it was fairly normal for Harry. 

"But do you care about what he asks you to do? Like... do you do it just because he's askin', or because you feel like you've _gotta_ , or because you think it might make him happy? I'd thought that maybe you did it since he'd done so much stuff for you, like you had to return the favour somehow."

Harry thought about that for a moment. "Though it would be rude of me not to do anything in return for his work for me, I don't _have_ to do what I do for him. I do it...because he enjoys it. He asked, I enjoy seeing him happy, and it's neatly within my skill set." Harry's voice was even and light as he spoke, but there was a slight undercurrent of worry. Even if Merlin had told him everything Eggsy had asked, it wasn't hard to see why Harry would be nervous treading into this territory again. 

"Why is that stuff what makes him happy, though? He told me he doesn't enjoy very much," Eggsy admitted. "I don't even know what he'd even look like happy, he always seems serious and grumpy. I guess I can get wanting to make a friend happy, but I can't understand it when it involves... all that. Destruction and stuff."

Harry shrugged and gave Eggsy an apologetic smile. "I suppose most people would call it a 'perversion'. But it is what it is and it is what he enjoys. It's true I haven't seen him get much out of the usual things people enjoy. He keeps to himself. And he can be pleasant enough when he's trying, but no, I don't know if he ever lets anyone see him when he's happy like he is with these projects." 

"But you have? Seen him happy, I mean. Is that why you're ok with it, because... I dunno, like I like seein' you happy and don't mind some things because I know you'd be unhappy or get hurt otherwise?" Except even that comparison felt a little off to Eggsy, because it wasn't the same thing at all. He wasn't just _friends_ with Harry. He was more.

"Hm. A little. Look, I know the things I've done for him are not good things. I can't say that I would have the motivation or the interest in doing them on my own, yet I am not averse to doing them for him either. So yes, in a way it is like that I suppose although our relationship is different." Eggsy knew Harry was on uneven footing just by the way he held himself as he spoke. "I don't know if you'd like him when he's happy either. He's very intense."

"You're not really sellin' me on it," Eggsy joked, nudging Harry with his elbow just a little and trying to grin to take a bit of the tension off. "So what, you're ok with doin' him favours because he doesn't get much outta life any other way, but the way you know he's happy is that he gets _more_ serious and stare-y?"

Harry looked bewildered, but he gave a short laugh at that. "Essentially, yes. He gets very focused, very intent, and...'serious and stare-y'." Harry glanced to Eggsy again, taking him in with a curious eye. "I'm really _not_ selling this, am I? And yet you're taking it better than you have before. What on earth did the two of you talk about?"

"I dunno, he got really weird on the phone." Eggsy shrugged, turning to look out the window so that he could think. Trying to look at Harry while gathering his thoughts wasn't always the smartest idea. "Hard to describe. Like he was tryin' to be honest but wasn't super good at knowing what to say, or how to say it, or how to talk to people at all. He did say that you were much, much, _much_ worse when I was gone and he tried to look after you a lot."

"Ah." Harry looked like he was beginning to understand before he had to turn back to the street. "He did. And I was. I think we were all very unhappy for a very long while, but he distracted me from the worst of it and he made sure I wasn't reckless enough to get myself killed." Harry glanced quickly back at Eggsy. "You find his social ineptitude agreeable, don't you?" A hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Very unlike me." 

"I don't think he's very good at actin', probably because he's only interacting with cameras and screens instead of people," Eggsy commented. Even Merlin's early attempts at getting into his good graces had been awkward and obvious, enough that Eggsy had spotted it and been put off. "Which, I guess... that's somethin' else. I know it doesn't make any sense, but even after bein' off the streets for a bit now, I can't stop worryin'. Or somethin' like it. I keep thinkin' the Wilsons are lying to me, or... like, that they might go through my room. Or all sorts of weird things."

Harry grimaced. "I hate to say it, but that is understandable. You've had not at least three people go through your private life without your permission, two of them being your caretakers and two of them in ways you couldn't have even imagined. You won't be used to trusting anyone for some time, I think. Probably best just to do as much to make yourself as comfortable as you can." When Harry glanced at Eggsy again, he really looked. Eggsy recognised it, too. The way Harry studied him to make sure he was ok. 

They were approaching the river and Harry slowed. Having to pass through the streets near Westminster was always slow going. Tourists lined the walk and the weekend crowd was in full swing. They were about to become part of it. Not far across the river they could see the London Eye with it's massive white structure looming over the city below. 

"I was just thinkin'. That even though I know the Wilsons probably aren't doin' anything weird or thinkin' bad things about me, it's made stuff really uncomfortable. I kept listenin' through my door to see if they were trying to listen in on me, or were talkin' about me. And checkin' my room to see if anything had been moved, or if there were cameras or stuff. I couldn't stop worryin' even though I knew it was silly, and then I started thinkin' about the fact that I don't worry about that stuff when I'm with you anymore."

Harry did a double-take looking at Eggsy again. "Because you know I've already done it?" Everything about Harry was attuned to Eggsy now, even when he had to look back to the street. Harry had this way of listening with his whole body sometimes. It was very subtle, but like a lot of things about Harry, Eggsy could read it. "The Devil you know sort of deal?" 

"Sort of. Also that I know you kept your word about a lot of stuff, now. The cameras are off whenever I'm over. Merlin even sounded kinda sad about it." Eggsy shrugged. The crowd around them was full of interesting people, but Eggsy wasn't really interested in any of them. He was far more interested in the reactions of the man at his side. "And I'm not scared of you in the same way anymore. I know you better now."

Slowly, Harry nodded, taking in Eggsy's words. "Well. I'm glad to hear that." Harry was being careful not to commit any extra meaning to what Eggsy said and yet it was obvious that this pleased him. 

Once they crossed to the other side of the river, Harry took them in search of a parking garage.   
"Does that worry bother you very often? Does it interfere with you trying to get to know them?" Harry asked after a few minutes. He knew from their occasional conversations that things between Eggsy and the Wilsons were ok at best, even if both parties were trying.

"Yeah a bit, I guess. I try, but I can't really tell them nothin' about me or what's goin' on with me. What I'm thinkin' about. They don't really get me, because they've never not been rich, you know?" Eggsy shifted in frustration, uncomfortable with just how disjointed his foster parents' good intentions were with his own experiences. "They say they're ok with everything, but they're not. Sometimes I can tell just from us drivin' around. They talk about politics, or people they're seein' on the street and what they think about everything."

"You're not used to the casual judgements people with money make," Harry surmised. It was strange that Harry should have been that way, in theory, as he was wealthier than the Wilsons, but there weren't many times he made comments that were so far removed from Eggsy's experience. Perhaps it was because he was usually talking to Eggsy and not another adult like Donna and Kevin were, or perhaps he just had more experience in the world. Sure he used to turn up his nose at Eggsy's clothing choices sometimes when they were out shopping, but often it was for the sake of amusement. And when Harry would look at him after he was dressed in whatever style Eggsy liked, there was always appreciation in his gaze. 

"Yeah. Just, I know they're not tryin' to be mean about it, but they really don't know what it's like. Why people dress certain ways, or eat some things and not others. It's not because people are lazy or stupid. If they were in the same spot, they'd make the same choices." Including 'tacky' clothing because it was the cheapest thing that fit and they didn't have any money for more. Or wearing clashing layers because you wouldn't be warm and dry elsewise. For all that the Wilsons were smart in some respects, they were ignorant in others, but Harry understood about survival.

Harry hummed in quiet agreement as he parked the car. "We'll have a bit of a walk, but I thought you might like to see the gardens and play some games at the Wonderground." What apprehension about Eggsy bringing up Merlin had left Harry and he was now looking at Eggsy like he was just as ready to have a good time out as he intended Eggsy to have. Harry hadn't foregone his customary suit, but it was one of his casual ones. A dark blue with light enough material that it allowed for movement, and he'd brought coats for the both of them in case the weather turned chilly as it was likely to do as the afternoon wore on at that time of the year. 

"Wait. Just a second." Eggsy tugged on Harry's sleeve, and when he turned towards Eggsy with a questioning look, the boy didn't quite know what to say. He hadn't had anything in mind, just wanting the privacy and enclosure of the car to last a moment longer. There were too many eyes around for anything else, and so Eggsy leaned in, wrapping his arms around Harry's middle for just a moment. "I do like gardens. Thanks for rememberin'."

Long fingers curled through his hair and then slid along Eggsy's arms as he pulled back. Harry didn't want to break contact, but he smiled and let Eggsy go when it was over. "You're very welcome. Now, let's go have some fun, shall we?" 

Harry's fingers brushed over Eggsy's knee, but then he was collecting their ticket and opening the door and they had to step out into the world. The garage wasn't too busy, but once they got up at street level, they had to join the throng of pedestrians milling about. Harry nodded in the direction of the gardens and amusement park below the looming Eye and they were off. 

Eggsy kept close to Harry's side. The park was wondrous enough, full of flashing lights and bursts of sound and colour and tantalizing smells. No high end fares, these, but the spun sugar and roasted salted corn and the hot meat on buns that didn't bear questioning too closely. Eggsy was used to this food and found it very comforting.

Harry was out of place among the throng, but not so much as someone else might have been. He wasn't uncomfortable enough to be an intruder, but was still too well dressed to be among the commons. The fair master, perhaps, one of the ones running the show that was scooping up tourists and Londoners alike into a little maze to celebrate the city under the towering, glowing eye of the wheel.

"Would you like a hot dog?" Harry asked with a cheeky smile. That was how he did it, how he merged with the crowd, with his casual demeanour and unrestrained enjoyment of simply being there. This Harry was worlds away from the lonely man who took up residence in Eggsy's video feeds at night. He led Eggsy through the crowd with a touch here and there, never letting them get too far apart but never seeming overt in his closeness either. Nothing too unusual to the eyes of the crowd around them. 

"Not from here," Eggsy murmured back, gripping Harry's hand not unlike other pre-teens in the area. Most were already putting up the long-suffering front, trying to divest themselves of connection to those accompanying them, but Eggsy wasn't in a hurry to put distance between himself and Harry. "Maybe later. At home. You do a much better job of making it, anyways."

Harry just grinned back at him with more satisfaction than the comment warranted. Eggsy could see what he was thinking. 

They meandered through the Wonderground until they reached the walking path of the gardens and the crowd became less oppressive. The Jubilee Gardens weren't as open as Kensington, but it was a breath of fresh air in one of the busiest sections of the city. The trees were turning colours and soon their leaves would be gone. They made for a picturesque backdrop behind Harry and judging by the way Harry kept looking at him, he was thinking the same. 

"I wanted to take you up on the wheel at night sometime," Harry said as they made their winding way towards the structure. "We'll have a good view of the city today without the rain, but seeing it lit up from above...there's nothing quite like it."

"Do you see cities a lot like that? Up high? Or do you not really get the chance to?" Eggsy didn't know what sort of traveling Harry did, exactly, only that he did a lot of it. Being a spy meant interacting with a lot of people, he guessed, and not wilderness, and quite often Harry was likely embroiled in intrigues in the city proper instead of spending time outside of it admiring the view. "How come you saw this place and thought of me?"

Harry thought about that for a moment. "I often think of you when I'm in London. The whole of London, not the streets of Kensington and Soho. You were running around this city with your friends before we even knew each other properly, and you haven't stopped. I suppose I thought you might like to see it from a new perspective. Flying gives you a wonderful sense of a place. And I suppose I get that sense more often than most. There are some cities, Hong Kong for example, where you can spend your entire stay looking down at the world around you. By comparison London is much more level with the ground." 

"Will I ever get to go up flyin'? Proper-like, not on a big bus sort of plane like when we did holiday before." They hadn't explored too far out from the realm of safety and familiarity, but Eggsy thought he'd like to see more of the world. Particularly now that he thought he wasn't going to get trapped in the same tiny circle of London, working for drug gangs or slaving away at low wage jobs forever.

"If you'd like to, you certainly can. There's all sorts of ways to do it. If you're very motivated, you could even earn a flying license for a small plane or helicopter when you're older." Harry looked happy to suggest ideas. It was possible he even knew how to fly small aircraft himself. If Landon could, Harry might have had the same training. It was certainly something James Bond could do. 

They passed around the last bend in the winding path and found the base of the eye before them with its ticket stand below and a throng of people waiting in line. 

"Is it fun? Flying, I mean. Or is it more fun for someone else to do it and you watch out the windows?" A helicopter didn't sound too glamorous, even given the rescue they'd gotten before. Eggsy could far more easily imagine piloting a small, sleek plane to somewhere exotic and unknown. Of course, that begged the question of who he'd meet there, or bring with him, and Eggsy hadn't the slightest idea beyond Harry.

"Once you've done it enough not to be distracted by worries about the controls or altitude or air traffic and the like, it is. You might enjoy being a passenger until you get the itch for a more hands-on experience." It was funny how casually Harry could speak like he was flirting while they were surrounded by the crowd. There was absolutely nothing overt about his words, but the way his smile was bordering on cheek said everything. 

Fortunately, the line was moving fairly quickly and they didn't have long to wait before they got their tickets. Harry even paid extra so that they could have a car to themselves. 

"I've kinda got the feelin' I'm ready for that already. Though I don't think I'm gonna get the chance any time soon. Not gonna pass up a chance to get a bit more experience under my belt, though." The attendant showed them to their seats and secured the metal railing in place, and after a few seconds the eye rotated to let the next few people on. Eggsy and Harry were partially alone, suspended a few feet above the crowds and getting a good look at the festivities spread out around the Eye.

The voices of the crowd were cut down to a quiet murmur and Harry leaned against the railing across from Eggsy, smiling his quiet, warm smile. This was Harry happy. Harry couldn't be sure if Eggsy was as well, but he looked like he suspected it. 

After another minute passed, they rose up into the air again while the next car boarded, and so began their slow ascent. Harry motioned for Eggsy to join him at his side of the car and when they got high enough, they could see across the water to the line of the city, including Westminster. Harry let his arm wrap around Eggsy where they stood, a comfortably, but not overtly, intimate embrace. 

The air was cooler up there. Cooler and more distant. The sun was dipping lower, as it was the time of the year for it to set quickly, and it painted the city and the rippling water in warm colours that didn't quite touch the air. Eggsy felt Harry's arm and felt more secure, not less. He was safe, no matter how high up they got. Eggsy could feel the noise in his head quieting from the touch. "I bet you bring all your sweethearts up here." At Harry's quizzical look, Eggsy smiled. "Just testin'."

In spite of himself, a slow smile drew across Harry's face again. And then he laughed, shaking his head. Eggsy had caught him off guard, like Eggsy had said something so incongruent with Harry's thoughts, but Harry went with it this time. 

"Won't they be jealous, then?" Harry bent lower against the railing so that Eggsy could catch the teasing edge to his smile. "I dare say I don't think I could find a boy as industrious or as daring as you if I tried." Harry turned his attention to the east side of the city and pointed off in the distance before his hand gestured over all of it. "You've made all this your territory, you know. I used to wander about sometimes and imagine I'd see you flitting through the alleys. I'd imagine you watching me, trying to keep an eye on me the way I did you."

"I was a bit too busy for that, but I'm glad to know you weren't sleepin' easy either, worrying about me runnin' about and spyin' on you. Can't be many boys who can say they out-spyed a spy. You probably didn't tell anyone else, but I can't imagine your friend didn't tease you a bit about that one, no matter how stodgy an' serious he is." It was still a point of pride with Eggsy that he'd gotten so far despite who and what Harry was and the resources at his disposal.

"Let me just say, if the whole of Kingsman ever found out, there would be a lot of laughing. And Merlin does like to tease me about it every now and again." Harry looked pained, but it didn't take away the gentle amusement underneath. 

They were nearly at the top now, just as the sun was sinking below the horizon. Perhaps Harry would get his wish and Eggsy would have the best view possible. The city below them was already lighting up, creating a contrast of vibrant orange and yellow dots amid the wash of the sun's last rays against the buildings. The expanse was caught between night and day, in those few transitional moments in time where anything felt possible. 

It was breath-taking, even when not at the pinnacle. Eggsy felt his arms break out into gooseflesh, particularly so when the wind picked up and he felt the Eye sway just a little. He clung tighter to Harry even though he knew there was no danger - solid cables and steel held everything together, and the whole structure had been well-tested before opening up to the public. "Say, Harry... I was thinkin'."

"Hm?" Harry glanced down at him, face lit with the soft blue of the Eye's outer lights mingled with the warm oranges of the city below. There was no expectation in him, nothing to suggest he wanted more out of this conversation than a pleasant evening out. They inched along higher and higher and outside the city grew smaller and smaller below. 

"Like... the Wilsons, they ain't workin' out the way I'd hoped. They're nice enough, but not really for me. An' I know the time was comin' up to pick stayin' with them, or movin' on, so I was thinkin'..." They rose higher still, and Eggsy risked a glance over the side and then shut his eyes. "I can't promise nothin', but I was thinkin' maybe we could try something else. Livin' together again. Not the same way, an' I dunno how the tutor is gonna work out with that, but..."

Harry froze where he stood. He very nearly looked like he was trying to grasp what Eggsy was suggesting. "You.... Eggsy, you know there is no real time limit you have to decide anything, don't you? No matter what you think of growing up or whether you're worried the Wilsons will want you to stay. You don't have to...." Eggsy was sure Harry was about to say he didn't have to go back to living with Harry, but then Harry stopped like he didn't want to say it. Harry's hand closed over his on the rail and Harry looked at him carefully. "You would be more than welcome in my home, more than I can say, but you don't have to."

"I know I don't have to. It ain't a sudden decision, I've been thinkin' about everythin' for a while. Ever since I got there, how I liked it and how I was feelin' and what I wanted to do, where I felt like goin'." Eggsy looked over and up at Harry. The view around them spread London at their feet, but Eggsy wasn't paying attention. "It's not gonna be the same. I'd want to have rules, and a say in things. I get to keep havin' my own bedroom and you don't get to come in, for instance. I got several reasons I want to, and I don't think that I _have_ to. I just want to."

Harry blinked and looked like he didn't know what to say. A moment passed before he collected himself and squeezed Eggsy's hand. "Okay." It was a breath of air more than a word. "Okay. You can move back in, and have your own room and things will be... Well. We'll talk about all that. But you can set your own boundaries and I will not cross them." Harry nodded. Some of his shock was fading away, being replaced with a sober quality. Harry might have been imagining them living more like a real guardian and child lived. He breathed out slowly and let himself take Eggsy in, reading his expression, his body language, and gradually a hint of a smile formed at the corner of Harry's mouth. "I'll be glad to have you home again."

"It is home, really. I don't feel safe anywhere else, I realized. Even when I know I'm safe, it doesn't feel like it." Eggsy squeezed back against Harry's grip, but his gaze fell, watching the buildings of London slowly rise up to meet them in the evening glow. "The Wilsons are never gonna understand me, and I don't think any other adoptive family will neither. I can't talk to them because they won't get it."

Harry nodded. After a brief hesitation, he reached his other hand around and squeezed Eggsy's shoulder, wrapping him in a comfortable embrace. Their car was just going over the top now and Harry held Eggsy close as though he couldn't find the words to respond. 

The last rays of light shimmered against Eggsy's hair and Harry looked down at him like he wanted to lean in and forget they might be seen. Harry didn't break his gaze away to see the city. He looked like he might not have been able to if he tried. 

Eggsy wasn't able to stop thinking. He'd thought about this for a good deal of time before he even thought to broach the subject with Harry, knowing full well how hope could easily destroy the both of them. He wasn't promising for things to go back to the way they had been, not even close, but he knew Harry would be tempted by the thought. They both would be. The reprieve of living with another family had not been the balm Eggsy had hoped for. He wanted stability and love, but also deep understanding, and most people wouldn't be able to understand him and everything he'd gone through.

"I almost forgot." Harry interrupted Eggsy's thoughts, bending to fish in his pocket for something before he pulled out a hand held camera. "I wanted to remember this, and I thought I might try it the proper way." His smile had an edge of sheepishness, but he looked excited all the same. He motioned for Eggsy to turn so that the lights outside would shine on him while Harry could still frame the city out the window behind him. 

"Oh? All _right_ , yeah," Eggsy exclaimed, but he seemed to have other ideas. He reached out for the camera instead and gestured for Harry to join him. "It never comes out proper with those cameras on the phone. C'mon, scoot in. Closer, I can't angle it just right otherwise." Eggsy shifted and squirmed until they were packed close together, wrapped in each other with the city shining in the backdrop beyond them. He took a few photos just to make sure they got a good one among the lot, but once they were done, he didn't pull away.

Harry didn't move either, but he did pluck the camera from Eggsy's hands and brought up the photos on review mode for them to see. In spite of the blind attempt at getting both of them in the frame, most of the time they were, and the colours were just right. Eggsy looked candidly happy in the first, with his clear eyes brighter than ever and his still small face split into a grin, head tilted towards Harry's. They progressed into him with varying degrees of cooler and sillier smiles, while Harry remained unpretentiously happy throughout. The distance between them never widened, and they looked comfortable in each other’s presence. 

When Harry stowed the camera in his pocket, he still didn't pull back. "I think these will do just fine." And then he was looking down at Eggsy, who probably still looked like he had in the photos, wide eyed but not so naive anymore. 

"Maybe they will, but what about me? I dunno if I'm so fine at all," Eggsy countered with a huff, shooting a lopsided smile up at Harry and rolling his eyes. "What if I'm all fussy and high maintenance? I had plenty of opportunity to learn, after all. Fancy food, and drink, and music and books and movies and opera shows and dapper suits with shined shoes all over the place."

Harry raised a brow, but he was smiling still. "Then I'd say be careful or you're liable to become me. What would we do if there's two of us?" From the outside, they probably looked comfortable, leaning on the rail so close, but between them the air crackled with Eggsy's teasing threats. "We'd need to get you fitted for another suit, definitely, and if you started taking showers as long as I do, we might have to renovate the downstairs toilet or we'd be at each other's throats soon enough. But all things considered, I can't say that I mind terribly." 

"I dunno about bein' another you, but I could think of a lot involvin' you. You look better out of your suits anyways," Eggsy drawled, still conscious enough to keep his voice low. His hands snuck around the edges of Harry's coat and pressed into the older man's sides. "I think if anyone should be worried, it outta be you, right? You're the one all torn up and comin' after me, after all."

Harry's breath hitched. Eggsy heard it clear in the empty car. Harry moistened his lips before he spoke again. "You're telling me things I very much like to hear and then telling me I should be worried?" Eggsy's hands didn't move away and Harry luxuriated in their touch. He didn't dare move his own. He was taller and it would be too obvious, but if anyone looked too closely at Eggsy, he'd seem like he was loosely hugging Harry round the middle.

"Yeah. If I become you, I don't think you'd like it very much. You like me because we're kinda alike, but _different_. If you wanted someone just like you, you would've gone for another spy or some posh tosser ages ago. Or even one of their kids." Eggsy sucked on his lower lip and his eyes turned upward in thought. "Come to think of it, you _did_ go for another spy's kid. Just not a posh one."

Harry gave a quiet snort. "That wasn't intentional. Nor was it a trend in my tastes. Your father was simply the connection that brought me to you. Although I will concede that it would be difficult to deal with you if you were my double, as I am notably difficult." There was uninhibited fondness in his eyes when he looked at Eggsy. "I do like you for being you though, it's true." 

That matched with the way Harry had treated him when they lived together. Harry took him to all sorts of "Harry" places like high class restaurants and the theatre, but he also took Eggsy to places Eggsy wanted to go and let him see his friends when that had still been a regular occurrence and never commented on whether they might be good or bad influences for Eggsy. 

"So, yeah. You best be on your guard, because if I start resemblin' you more I might wreck you more than I already have, supposedly." Eggsy shot Harry a cheeky smirk, but his hands didn't leave the older man's sides. He stayed close, closer than he needed to, as the car slowly lowered itself back towards the ground.

"I'll be on my guard." Harry held back a wider smile, but let Eggsy see the effort. 

They stood that way, in comfort and in the quiet of the insulated car, looking out as the city enveloped them back into itself once again and they reached the ground. Eggsy had to remove his hands from Harry's waist and they exited swiftly, merging with the crowd as soon as they were free of the boarding area. By then the sun had truly set and the park and gardens around them were lit up in dazzling blues and pinks. Harry's arm wrapped around Eggsy's shoulder as they walked, taking one last glance back up at the Eye as they went. 

"So," Harry began after a few minutes, "when would you like to make the move?"

"Fairly soon. In a couple of weeks, maybe sooner. I'm gonna need a bit of time to adjust and say goodbye, and I don't... want the Wilsons to feel bad about things. They're nice people, really. They just ain't gonna work for me, but that ain't their fault." Eggsy shoved his hands in his pockets and did his best to match Harry's stride. It wasn't as much work to do so as it had been in the past. "An' we gotta... go over the rules, of how this is gonna go. It don't mean everythin' is gonna go back like how it used to be."

Harry nodded. He looked like he understood. "You take some time to think on that and then we'll talk it over. We'll talk to the Wilsons once that's decided." 

Just in case. That was Harry's reasoning. If Eggsy didn't think he wanted to go back after they'd talked, then they wouldn't have to explain anything to the Wilsons just yet, and Eggsy wouldn't be beholden to his plan until they'd agreed on boundaries. If Harry was worried, he didn't show it. Eggsy had shocked him up there on top of the city, but he was forcing himself calm now. 

Eggsy nodded. He didn't know what else to say, and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as they drifted through the crowds. Nobody around them had any idea who or what Harry was. Or what Eggsy had been. The two of them must look like nothing more than father and son walking together. "We still got time to get hot chocolate or somethin'? I could use somethin' warm."

Harry smiled down at him. "Absolutely." 

They left the crowded park and moved back to the city streets, but Harry chose to walk until they found a place rather than take the car. The air was getting chillier, but it wasn't unbearable, and his arm was warm over Eggsy's jacket. They passed a tourist pub and a few delicatessens before they found a coffee shop on the corner. Harry was very careful to make sure they had hot chocolate and sweets on the menu before he nodded his approval, however. 

They ducked inside and Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief at the warm, aromatic interior. Like libraries, there was something about coffee shops that couldn't be replicated elsewhere. After a few moments of pondering, they ordered and took a seat in a relatively secluded corner to wait for their order to come up. "Thanks. For takin' me to the Eye and all. I didn't think I'd like something like that but it was pretty nice to see everything from high up."

Harry looked pleased with himself. "That's good to hear. Things like that can be experiences you'll have for a long time. Good experiences." Eggsy had plenty of bad experiences he wasn't about to forget any time soon, and Harry knew he had good memories, too, but they weren't as abundant as they once were. "Is there anything you'd like to do once you don't have to worry about the Wilsons? I know you were thinking of programming and martial arts classes. Are you still interested in those?"

"Yeah. I don't know what else, but it'd be nice to try some things and see what I like. Since I never really got a chance before. I was thinkin' about wanting a dog, too, but it might be too soon for that." Loneliness had worn on Eggsy and the idea of having a companion like a dog was highly appealing. "It'd be nice to go skatin' again. Or just... have a vacation. Y'know? I didn't get much of a break after I got off the street, 'cause it was right into catchin' up with school."

"Mm, yes I can imagine. Maybe we can plan something in the next couple months. Get out of the cold for a bit." A distant look passed across Harry's face and Eggsy knew he was sorting through ideas. "After you're settled in of course. And maybe then you can think about getting a dog. It would have to get along with Mr. Pickle, but it might do that old dog well to have some company. He misses you, I think. Always very excited to see you when you're over. So much he even waits at the door sometimes."

"I thought he might not really remember me at all. Like, that he just gets excited whenever anyone different is over." Eggsy had thought, before, about how Harry's dog might have factored into things. He'd certainly played a part in introducing them, doubtless at Harry's direction since he'd proven to be a very obedient dog. The realization had made Eggsy wonder precisely how many boys Mr. Pickle might have seen come and go. "It's gonna be alright, isn't it? If I'm there but it's not the same as before, maybe not what you'd hope for, even?"

Harry was quiet, but he nodded. "Yes, that would be alright. You can stay with me in whatever capacity you want to." His eyes slid off Eggsy but the counter caught his attention and he offered a small smile before he rose to get their order. 

Harry returned with coffee for himself, a steaming mug of hot chocolate for Eggsy, and a plate of pastries and chocolates to share between them. Harry went for the dark chocolate first, as he always did. It paired well with coffee, or so he said. Sweet and bitter rolled into one. He didn't inquire further on Eggsy's warning, but Eggsy could tell he hadn't taken it lightly. 

Eggsy didn't try to reassure Harry. He didn't need to. The older man's hopes and worries were his own burden. Eggsy didn't owe him anything. Even living with him at all should have counted as a blessing, after all they'd been through. The boy lost himself in his mug of hot chocolate for a moment, breathing in the sweet steam. Life was so much simpler when it was all about small pleasures.

"Do I get to stay in the house alone, if you gotta go out for work?"

"I don't think that would be any trouble." Harry sorted through the cream pastries until he found the Bavarian. "You're older now and used to taking care of yourself. I don't think I would have to have anyone check in on you for any reason other than to see a friendly face." They both knew there weren't many people Harry could invite over who might meet that description, however. But if Eggsy was attending recreational classes in the city and going to school again, he wouldn't be completely shut in. And he might have the opportunity to make friends, if he could ever stop worrying about the tenuousness of his living situation. 

"Will you show me where everything's stashed, this time, so I don't gotta worry about settin' something off by mistake? And will you actually tell me where you're goin'? You don't even have to say what for, I just kinda want to know how far away you're gonna be workin', and when you're comin' back." Eggsy picked up a pastry and bit into the flaky, buttery, sweet crust. His heart felt too large in his chest, much too large for a calm conversation in a little cafe.

"I can tell you that much, yes, my general location and how long I'll be away. And I can show you where I've kept things in the house, although you might just want to avoid messing with anything in the bedroom in general. I move things, leave things, and forget they're there sometimes. Like those shoes you found." Harry sipped his coffee and started meeting Eggsy's eyes again. "Would you be ok, being there again with all of that? With what I do? Knowing more about it than you did before?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I would. I'm not gonna like all of it. I can't promise that, because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna keep on not liking some of it." Eggsy shrugged and swirled his hot chocolate in his mug, watching the melting whipped cream turn into a lazy spiral. "I'm not scared of it anymore, though. Or of you. And I ain't gonna tell you to change yourself, just so long as you don't try to get me to change neither."

Harry gave another nod, slow and serious. "I don't want to ask that of you. And I...thank you for your understanding." 

Harry hadn't been asking anything of him except to go back to school and look for a decent home since Eggsy had returned. But Harry had never really asked much from Eggsy, not outright. With the little things, like Eggsy taking Aikido and such, he would pursue it only if Eggsy had shown an interest. Within a larger context though, he'd outright manipulated everything so that he didn't have to ask. 

Eggsy knew it, too. The boy was too wary and aware now to not have an eye attuned towards spotting such things. Harry asked for things in the spaces between the seconds, in the small inclines in his body and the light in his eyes and the atmosphere and circumstances around him. He didn't need to voice it, because it hung in the air, unsaid but no less weighted when they found and sank into the flesh. Harry wanted to turn back the clock, to a greater or lesser degree.

Eggsy had wanted the same, but for having been lied to and led from one decision to another. And that was a very big 'but'. For now, Harry was accepting what Eggsy offered him, and though the air was always heavy between them with the weight of everything left behind, they could still sit down and have coffee. Harry was still the one who knew Eggsy best. If Eggsy were to give him nothing more after moving back, Harry might accept it. Harry was a very patient man. He might try to wait, but if Eggsy never really wanted what they'd had before, Harry would be able to tell. That had been one of the most important parts about what they'd had--that Eggsy had wanted it.

Paramount at the moment was for Eggsy to feel safe, wanted, and understood. Wanted passed without question, but safety and understanding had become more notable by the contrast of how the boy had felt when around Harry, and how he'd felt around his foster parents. The constant vigilance and deep knowledge that he'd be rejected if they knew more about him had formed a wall that had prevented him from truly bonding with the Wilsons. That wall wasn't present around Harry, as Harry already knew everything and accepted Eggsy as he was.

The longer they ate with silence between them, the easier it became. What tension had been there gradually relaxed in the familiarity of the other's presence. Harry had made sure Eggsy felt comfortable with their closeness from the very beginning, and that came right back when guards were lowered between them. 

Harry took the last few sips of his coffee and his mouth pulled into a grin, eyes catching on something about Eggsy. He lifted his hand and brushed at the corner of Eggsy's mouth in one smooth motion from start to finish, without any self-consciousness, and wiped away a stray bit of chocolate. Harry's eyes were still smiling when he went back to his own desserts. 

Eggsy flushed without thought, not a reaction of a rush of anger, but attraction. All wasn't lost. Harry might not be forgiven, but some sort of essential healing had progressed in Eggsy. Harry was no longer the feared boogieman of Eggsy's homeless period, but not the safe and innocent lover he originally was either. He was something different.

They finished their meal quietly, and then took their plates up to the bin and made sure their jackets were buttoned up tightly, warm and snug for the chill outside. Harry took a deep breath and seemed a little reluctant to leave. Maybe it was the warmth of the shop or maybe it was the knowledge that Eggsy would have to return to the Wilsons, but he still looked happier than Eggsy was used to seeing him lately. "I suppose we'd better get you back."

"Yeah, I guess." Eggsy seemed equally reluctant, and that was something. He hadn't tried to reassure Harry about his transference of living quarters - quite the opposite - but unsaid words were all visible in the furrow of Eggsy's brow and how the boy lingered closer to Harry's side than he needed to. Trust was slowly getting restored, and the initial attraction was still there despite all the odds. "You'll get stuff ready, right? I don't want them hurt any more than they're gonna be that I'm moving."

"Yes, I'll see to that. And I'll make sure they have every opportunity to foster again soon if they'd like to. We did make absolutely sure they would be ok with having you for only a short while in the beginning, whether they're hoping for more now or not." Harry held the door and they stepped outside in a gust of cold air. He waited until they were farther down the walk before he spoke up again. "I...I might tell them that I'm the one interested in adopting you. From what they know, we've known each other for some time and they know we're close. The idea of you going with someone you know and like might make it easier for them."

"Yeah, maybe so. They already know you kinda spoil me, and we've told them you've known me for years in the system. They'll probably ask why you haven't done it before now, though." Eggsy shrugged. It didn't matter so much to him except in how far the Wilsons might question the reassignment. They'd obviously feel slightly hurt that they weren't chosen.

"They probably will, and I think I can offer them a decent explanation about working with you for that long and needing to be sure I was ready to adopt." Harry laid a hand on Eggsy's shoulder again, re-establishing contact while he could. They could either tell the Wilsons that Harry was taking Eggsy and accept their curiosity on the matter, while assuring them that Eggsy was going to live in a home with someone he was already happy with, or they could say that Eggsy was moving on to a different family and essentially cut contact while leaving the Wilsons wondering whether he would be happy with new people he didn't know and what they might have done wrong. 

"I think that will work. Just let 'em know they weren't bad at it, or anything? 'Cause they weren't, they're probably gonna be good parents for someone else. Just not me." Eggsy looked around, making certain they weren't well observed while they walked back towards the car before he leaned closer to Harry. "I don't want 'em hurt. But I really don't want to keep living with them. It's not gonna work."

Harry smiled down at him and pulled Eggsy into a half-hug. "I'll do my very best to convey as much. And they might miss you, but I think they're intelligent enough to understand even if we frame it a little differently." 

When they reached the car, Harry had to let Eggsy go, but at least they were soon out of sight of the public again. And as soon as Harry turned the heater on, they warmed up quickly. 

The Eye stood out, bright and blue, against the city across the water as they left the parking lot. Harry's gaze lingered on it before he glanced at Eggsy. Always, he was assessing Eggsy's mood, what he thought about what they were doing, and what he felt. It never seemed to tire Harry to do so, and he'd always seemed to have a better gauge of Eggsy's mood than most. 

The boy was preoccupied, as could be expected. Things were going to change, and even though he'd chosen the changes it was a looming cloud on the horizon. Pastries and hot chocolate had served to settle Eggsy's stomach, but they could never settle his mind. He turned to watch Harry as they drove back towards Kensington. "You sure you're gonna be ok with this?"

Harry glanced back. "I will be. And if you're still not sure of that, then you can at least know that I was ready to accept that you were living with other people before this. I know you were worried about my overall state of well-being, but I was still ready to accept that." Harry turned his eyes back to the street and gave Eggsy some space. There was a lot weighing on how Harry would take their new situation. Whether he would expect steps toward what they had before or whether he would continue to see Eggsy living with him and no more as better than Eggsy living elsewhere. 

Eggsy took the reassurance in silence. There was little more that he could concretely demand. He'd already warned Harry that things weren't automatically going back to the way they’d been, and that he was going to insist on maintaining the privacy and security of separate quarters. Harry had to realize that Eggsy wasn't simply falling back into his lap. This was a change, but not a sign that all was forgiven.

After Harry dropped Eggsy off at the Wilsons, his thoughts ran in circles all the way home. He nearly poured himself a drink straight away once he stepped through the door, and remembered only when he'd reached the kitchen that he'd agreed to restrain the habit. So instead he made himself a pot of tea and leaned against the counter, staring off into space while he imagined Eggsy, arms full of bags and boxes of the personal items he'd collected over the past short months, pushing through the front door on tottery legs, coming home to stay. 

Harry stood there with the kettle boiling, unable to do anything but imagine Eggsy in every space in the house again, for a solid quarter hour before he glanced at the phone. Eggsy would be watching, he knew. And Eggsy knew Harry would tell Merlin, but Harry also didn't want to seem like telling Merlin was the first thing on his mind after he received the news himself. He decided it could wait for tomorrow, when he was out of the house and when he and Merlin usually had conversations Eggsy might not appreciate hearing, whether they were about him or Merlin's personal projects. 

Harry went to bed that night and had a difficult time sleeping, wondering if Eggsy was watching and wondering if this could really work. 

The night passed slowly, particularly so when Harry's thoughts refused to still until the morning. Despite knowing very well that Eggsy wasn't there yet, Harry was thrown back to the days right after Eggsy had run away, when grief had weighed so heavily that sounds were imagined to be confirmation of the boy's presence and Harry was prompted to wander the rooms of the house, as if everything might have just been a bad dream and he'd find Eggsy somewhere.

Having Eggsy in the house would be difficult, but much less so than having him far distant, never again to be seen or heard, touched or conversed with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be at least a week late, just a warning. 
> 
> As usual, you can join us this Saturday (10/29) for the chat at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	52. Chapter 52

It wasn't until Harry opened his eyes to the dim light of morning and the persistent buzzing of his alarm that he realised he'd finally managed to fall asleep. He slapped a hand over the clock to shut off the alarm before rolling over and staring up at the ceiling, already thoughts of Eggsy returning flooding through his mind to pick up right where he'd left off. 

It was enough motivation to get him out of bed promptly, and Harry went through his morning routine with an energy he hadn't had in weeks. He was dressed and out the door with coffee in hand with minutes to spare for once, and by the time he arrived at HQ, he was unusually early. 

Harry visited his office, checked his messages, and took care of the more tedious aspects of spy work until it was nearly lunch time, at which point he tidied up and headed straight for Merlin's office. 

The door unlocked promptly as soon as Harry rapped, admitting him inside. For once, Merlin looked openly curious. "I take it something notable happened yesterday? Beyond the rather picturesque outing. Drama and aesthetics are all very much your forte but not much of a reason to come here looking like you've been hunted." At another glance, Merlin noted the shadows around his friend's eyes and stood. "You look like you could do with a spot of coffee. Or another, if you've already had one."

Harry shot Merlin an open grin before he managed to subdue it. "That would be much appreciated, thank you." He felt like he was half nerves. Usually he took a seat or they went out for food, but all Harry could do was stand. "And you're quite right, something did happen yesterday." Harry followed Merlin's back as he went to pour grounds in the coffee pot and felt the weight of his own words before he spoke them. He was sure that Merlin was just waiting for him to be done with his dramatic opening, but Harry couldn't help it. He felt like this deserved the emphasis. "Eggsy's told me he wants to move back in." 

Merlin straightened. Harry didn't often get to see him surprised, but the pause in his movements told Harry just how thoroughly Merlin's thoughts had derailed at that admission. "He did what? I knew that he was considering a great many things and feeling pressured to act quickly, but I didn't think that would translate into something so... unexpected." 

Merlin blinked and looked Harry over, a frown gradually creeping back into his features. "Tell me you've not put all your hopes on this. We may not even know what Eggsy is thinking when he's suggesting moving back."

Harry shook his head. He wanted to grimace and smile at the same time, one part of him warring against the other and it must have looked like a very confused expression because Merlin continued to watch him closely. "I know. I do. He even warned me about that. It was the very first thing he said, that it wasn't going to be like it had been before...." Harry's nerves calmed as he spoke, remembering Eggsy's careful insistence at the time like Eggsy was there, saying it all over again. "It isn't a definite thing yet. He wants to come back--he said he doesn't feel like he can talk to his new family openly and...well...I'm sure there are other reasons that have to do with how he feels about me--but he wants to make up a list of rules first." 

"That's to be expected. He's had enough of his boundaries being violated. He wants to be able to set his limits and test if you'll respect them." Merlin turned back to the coffeepot briefly, finishing the tasks necessary to start a pot brewing. Once the green light came on, her drifted back towards his desk, leaning against the front of it instead of resuming his seat. "He's very conflicted about you. I'm becoming more and more convinced that he wants to heal the rift, just as you do, but if you show signs of pushing him and pressuring him towards that end, he may leave again. You can't let your feelings get the better of you in this."

Harry nodded, feeling the tiredness he'd been avoiding begin to sink in. "I know. That's...been very clear. If I do anything out of bounds, he's gone." His eyes fixed on the coffee pot rather than on Merlin. "But even if nothing more comes of it, I would still like to have him back in the house. Back on good terms." Harry's voice grew quieter as he imagined it. Having Eggsy living there, close maybe occasionally, even in only innocent ways, that wouldn't be so bad. Eggsy had wanted more on a few occasions since he'd been back in Harry's orbit, but Harry knew that didn't necessarily mean those encounters would continue. "If I can just have him happy to be in my presence again, that would be something."

"Are you sure you'd be satisfied with that? I don't mean that in a belittling way. Some people simply cannot deal with having an object of intense emotions and desire right beside them and knowing that they'll never have anything more." The coffee maker chimed, and Merlin turned to fill them a pair of mugs. "You were not content with watching him at a distance before."

"I don't know," Harry admitted. "I feel like I am at this point, but I remember what it was like watching him all the time and not being able to get any closer. On the other hand, if he grows out of wanting anything more from me, that is what I'd anticipated might happen years ago, no matter how painful it might be. Even if he never found out about me and none of this happened, I knew there was a high likelihood he'd move on eventually and that it would not be easy to watch him leave. I had always hoped that if that happened, we'd remain close in other ways still."

Merlin handed Harry a mug and, after a moment, rested a now-empty hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know better than to try dissuading you from trying this. Either of you, point in fact. All for the better that Eggsy is the one suggesting it and at the helm, particularly for trying to heal old scars between you. I would prefer that you be careful and come talk to me about this, for the duration. You're too emotionally close to everything to be able to pick up on your blind spots, and I worry that you'll make a rash decision that ends up being the wrong one. You tend to go with instinct when backed into a corner and, while it serves you well in the field, I don't think it will go well where Eggsy is concerned."

Harry nodded and let himself lean into the touch as though Merlin were steadying him. "I know I'll take you up on that." Harry knew that he would need that advice. He took a sip of his coffee and offered Merlin a small smile. "Even Eggsy mentioned asking you for your thoughts, by the way. I wasn't sure if he'd bring it up with me, but I think it was a good sign that he did. It could have been a one-off, but I suppose we'll find out if he calls you up again." 

"I suppose we will, but I'm not hedging my bets on it. Once was quite a surprise, but more than once and I'd have to ask you what you're telling him to get him to engage with me." Merlin shrugged and raised his own mug. "My own suspicions are that Eggsy had no one else to turn to, aside from you. He was concerned and wanted input, but knew very well that no one else would have answers or be safe to confide in except the only other person who was already informed."

Harry gave a tight lipped smile and nodded. "That's probably true. Although, maybe I'm imagining it, but he seemed a little less insistent on verbally tearing you down lately." With a sigh, Harry pulled over his usual chair and sank down. He was more tired than he realised, even if his thoughts continued to keep him from feeling the full effects of it. "I'm going to have to talk to the Wilsons next. After I meet with Eggsy to go over these rules, that is. But I'm thinking about telling them that I, as his former case supervisor, am the one adopting him. I know that sounds risky, but I think in the context of the story we've given them, it would make sense and might allow them to worry less than if we were to say Eggsy was moving on to another stranger's home." 

Merlin considered for a moment and slowly nodded. "That might be for the best. While they may voice concerns about conflicts of interest and power differentials, they're now familiar with the fact that you've known Eggsy for some time. They're going to want to know why you didn't adopt him before this, but the alternative is dealing with their concern regarding Eggsy going off with strangers and why they were found unsuitable for fostering and adopting him."

"My thoughts exactly. My hope is that it won't seem too suspicious and will weigh on their minds less. It would also be good if we could attempt to line something up for them with another foster child soon after. Not too soon, just...soon enough for them to be thoroughly occupied if they'd like to try again, and less interested in checking in on Eggsy very often." Harry didn't think Eggsy would disapprove of that type of string-pulling, and when he'd suggested as much, the boy hadn't argued. He knew Eggsy might feel guilty, but it would probably be easier on the boy than leaving the Wilsons worried. 

"That can be arranged. I'm sure they'll still want to see Eggsy every now and then, but if they become preoccupied with an adopted child of their own, they'll gradually forget to check in as often. Unfortunately it's now inconvenient that the Wilsons happen to be located so close by, instead of across the city. Far more opportunity for them to drop by until they're suitably distracted." Merlin looked up, met Harry's gaze, and got an unspoken answer without ever needing to broach the question. Eggsy would be unhappy if the Wilsons had an accident or disappeared, and he'd know precisely whom to blame. "I suppose I can see if we have any contacts with prime real estate or job opportunities to... _persuade_ them to pick up stakes and move house at some point."

"That would be...preferable. If they remained in the area and happened upon us out and about, it likely wouldn't lead to too much trouble, but it would be better for all of us if that didn't happen." Harry was fairly sure that although Eggsy liked the Wilsons enough, he wasn't exactly keen to continue seeing them on a regular basis, which they might offer if it was still convenient for them to do so. "I suppose we can make arrangements for that over the next week or two. I imagine I'll meet with Eggsy to talk about these new rules soon and we'll go from there."

Merlin went silent. That wouldn't be unusual in and of itself but for how attuned Harry was. It was the wrong moment for silence. He raised his eyes and noted how carefully Merlin was avoiding looking directly at him. "I imagine Eggsy will want a lot more control over the environment around him, if he's to move back in."

"He might want to turn the cameras off for good," Harry concluded. It was almost a foregone conclusion really. Eggsy already demanded they were off whenever he visited, and although Merlin had access to them otherwise, Eggsy cared less about that because he had access as well. Once he moved in, he wouldn't need it anymore, and he would want them off. Harry rubbed at his temple, not liking what this was going to do to his friend, but he couldn't think of a way around it if Eggsy had the final say. 

"More than even that, he may decide he doesn't appreciate my presence beyond the cameras. He's been less than pleased with us conversing, particularly about him, and he wasn't fond of my visits even before he knew what our friendship and working relationship entailed." Being cut off would be nearly as bad as Harry outright being told that they weren't allowed to interact anymore. Merlin remembered well how engulfed Harry had become when Eggsy had lived with him before. The boy's return would mean that Harry would essentially be living in a blackout zone going forward.

Harry went quiet. That was one thing he wasn't sure if he could do for Eggsy. He'd tried so hard to tell the boy that, and he'd hoped it had gotten through. Eggsy had had so many complaints about Merlin and yet he'd never outright asked Harry to restrict contact. If Eggsy thought these rules might be the right time to ask that from him.... Harry shook his head. "If he asks that the two of you don't see each other any longer, it would be inconvenient, but we might be able to make it work. If he asks that I break contact with you...I don't know that I'd be able to agree to that." Harry could feel Merlin watching him. "Based on his conversations with me before, I think he already suspects as much, although I can't say that being able to negotiate our new terms might embolden him to try."

"He'll still insist that I not be able to see or hear anything in the house, even if he doesn't insist on full cut contact." And Harry would agree. Merlin knew he would. Blinding him wasn't as thoroughly crossing a line as cutting contact altogether, for Harry. It wasn't as dire for Merlin either, but it came damn close.

Harry frowned. From what he could tell, Eggsy's last conversation with Merlin had gone better than they usually did, but he had to agree that Eggsy showed no inclinations of letting Merlin watch him in his own residence again. "Whatever we negotiate, he and I are going to have to make arrangements for the both of us." Harry searched for the right words. "If he stays in the guest room like he said he wants to, then I might be able to leave the cameras on in the areas of the house that are mine alone...the office, the bedroom.... I know it's not much, but I can try."

"I would appreciate it. Anything at all." Merlin was, on the whole, difficult to offend in most conventional ways, but the situation couldn't help but dredge up old resentment. He had so little in his life, and what he did have was being taken away again. One of Merlin's many flaws was caving to possessive and territorial feelings, and the current situation was a struggle. Eggsy and Merlin both needed Harry in different ways, but Merlin was feeling the threat of what he thought of as his own being wrested from him by no more than a few words uttered from a youthful mouth.

"I understand." And Harry did. For a long time he'd been trying to keep some form of balance between Merlin and Eggsy and it was not easy. The two had such opposing motivations that the only real solution had been for them to avoid one another and just interact with Harry. But Merlin was right. If Eggsy moved back into Harry's home, then Merlin would be forced out. The only thing Harry could think of doing was...coincidentally helped by the space Eggsy had wanted to keep to himself. If Harry's spaces were his alone, then he should be able to do with them as he pleased. He just hoped Eggsy would see it that way. "If he agrees to this, he might just turn his own room into a wasteland in retaliation, you know." Harry grimaced. 

"I hope that isn't the case, but I wouldn't put it past him." Abruptly, Merlin regretted it all. The impulse was nonsensical, as Harry's collision course with Eggsy had been what had prompted them to become closer beyond their working relationship, but Merlin couldn't help it. Though it was too late to tell now, he wondered if he might not have been happier had he remained closed off and never known that he could have and enjoy such a close friendship.

Harry shrugged. "I suppose I'll find out if I find crude murals on the walls after the first week." He offered a small smile but didn't find it helped much, so instead he finished his coffee. Harry wanted to encourage Eggsy to talk to Merlin again, but he suspected that if Eggsy did so at Harry's bidding, it wouldn't be for the right reasons and they would very likely fight again. When Eggsy had done it because he needed something from Merlin, it had gone better. Which meant that Harry had no real control over that, besides inviting Merlin into his own life. Merlin likely suspected the same, and he did not look happy.

"Have you considered the rest of the arrangements, now that Eggsy is planning to move back in? A different tutor will have to be secured, or the boy will have to be enrolled in a private program to continue to get him caught up. He will likely want to be more independent this time around and have his own transportation and income at his disposal." Merlin didn't doubt that Eggsy would chafe against anything that hinted at control or restriction. He wasn't simply heading towards his rebellious teenage years, but also processing his insecurities and grudges at the same time.

"I've thought about giving him the decision to move into a private program just to get out of the house occasionally, but if we're above board about myself 'adopting' him with the Wilsons, then I don't see why it would be too much of a stretch to tell the current tutor as well. It isn't out of the question they could speak in the future." Harry sighed. He was usually fine with strangers inside his home, even if he didn't have many, but Eggsy might be uncomfortable being back at first, and that might show. "As for the rest, I believe it isn't so uncommon for children to have an allowance as they get older, and he's proven perfectly capable of using public transportation."

"True enough, but while Eggsy is used to public transport, he's also used to not being treated as a child. You'll have to take care that any allowance isn't interpreted as a parental indulgence, or a form of monetary control or bribery. And while the adoption will appear perfectly legitimate, you may wish to reassess the security risk the tutor might represent. All it takes is a bit of carelessness, and Eggsy's going to be concentrating on his lessons instead of paying attention to any small tells he might be giving off. His tutor will have ample experience to compare Eggsy's behaviours at the Wilsons' house to how he behaves in your own."

"True. That comparison could be obvious." Harry frowned. "I'll have him take some time away from his studies 'for the move' and let him get comfortable, gauge how he might behave in that space. And no, I do not want to suddenly start acting like a parent. I don't think he would react well to that, either." Harry's frown took on an edge of resigned amusement. Mostly at himself. "All three of us know that in the end, I'll buy him whatever he wants, really. But maybe if he has money of his own set aside to spend, he won't feel so dependent on me." 

"I would agree with that. Particularly coming from an impoverished background, as he is, dealing with scarcity from his mother's house and then when he was on the run. It will take time for him to lose a sense of... defensiveness and anxiety around his finances and what leverage that might give you over him, or how secure he truly is." Merlin shrugged. "He may not even be aware of his feelings on the matter, or why he's reacting. Or voice his thoughts directly, if he happens to become aware of them."

"Also true." Harry scratched at the back of his neck and crossed his ankles, trying to get comfortable in spite of the uncertainty all this was bringing up. "We'll find out I suppose." Eggsy had demanded Harry pay in a lot of ways for the things he'd done recently, but it wasn't hard to imagine Eggsy going the other way and turning very defensive of his independence. And Harry had yet to speak with him about the details of these new rules Eggsy envisioned. "He may want to speak to his mother again someday," Harry thought aloud, "...and she'll know nothing of all this."

"I would think that to be a certainty, but I also think he won't be ready for that for some time. He'll need to concentrate on himself until he regains a sense of security and stability in his life. And a sense of control." Merlin fixed his gaze on Harry. "That will be another discussion that will need to be had, of course, but all of that will depend on what happens in the near future. If things turn out as you hope they will."

Harry nodded. It was good to consider the long run, but they did have to focus on the now. He and Merlin were in agreeance on most of this. He could only hope that Eggsy would be, too. "It won't be long now. And we should get some lunch if we want to beat the crowd." Harry was ready to talk about something else. His mind had been turning this over for too long, with too much weighing on it. "Believe it or not," he said as he rose from his chair, "Eggsy fairly teased me over my involvement in your projects the other day. _Teased_ me. After the reaction he used to have." Harry shook his head, still a little bewildered. 

Merlin paused and stared, and Harry could see curiosity gradually creep into his expression. "... _really_. How did he endeavour to do that? That's an encouraging sign, but I wonder if it's a matter of him accepting the projects or simply accepting that you're choosing to participate and he can't affect that."

"It could very well be the latter." Harry shrugged. "I believe he said that I wasn't selling him on it while elbowing me in the ribs and then musing about whether you display happiness by getting even more serious." He couldn't help the twinge of a smile again at repeating the words to Merlin's face. Harry also enjoyed teasing Merlin, and it wasn't often that he had the opportunity to do so. 

Merlin frowned, but in the way he did whenever Harry teased him, rather than in true irritation. Harry was one of the few people he allowed to tease him, and had done so even before their friendship had deepened. "I see that amused you suitably. Don't tell me _you_ believe that? The boy can be excused for not realizing I have a sense of humour, I suppose. People seem to think Scots to be a dour and irritable lot."

"Oh no." Harry's smile spread wider. "I can see how hard you try to keep it under control when you get really excited." Harry clasped Merlin's upper arm and knew his eyes were twinkling with mirth. Bottled up may have described Merlin when he got like that, but 'serious' failed to convey what was really going on. "But to be fair, you _are_ dour and irritable besides." Harry gave him an extra pat for good measure.

"Damn right. I am dour and irritable, but not without any taste for fun. As you should know, but the staff recruits don't always appreciate it." Merlin's chin lowered, and his gaze turned upwards towards Harry. On another face, it might have been endearing; on his, it could only be threatening or sarcastic. "What you're telling me is that the boy needs a proper introduction in order to appreciate it more than one of my trainees who happens to get on my wrong side. I'm not vacating your life, as you know. Or setting aside a handler's concern for his partner. You won't be rid of me and I would prefer that it not be tried."

Harry chuckled. "I do hope he'll see that someday." Harry knew that none of them wanted to fight this battle forever, but there was no easy way out without a certain degree of acceptance, not only understanding. "Perhaps we can work out the details of such an introduction once he's settled." Harry straightened and adjusted the folds of his suit before heading for the door. Imagining Eggsy appreciating Merlin's particular brand of humour wasn't easy, but then again, it might not be impossible either.

"You'll be alright, regardless. We'll figure out how to coordinate everything that needs to get done." The transfer of guardianship. Relocation. Figuring out Eggsy's educational path. Everything that fell into complicated space would be taken care of, Harry had no doubt. He and Merlin had worked far more complex cases before. Coordinating what was necessary for Eggsy's well-being wouldn't be difficult, aside from the personal aspects.

"At least we can be certain of that, yes." Harry nodded and took in the quiet reassurance in Merlin's gaze before schooling his expression into something neutral and opening the door. 

The pair headed off to lunch as they often did. Within the halls of headquarters their conversation would turn back to work, but they were used to the seamless switch. Sometimes it was even nice to fall back into work mode just to keep thoughts of Harry's personal life on the back burner for a time. Harry wasn't nearly as desperate for that as he'd been a year ago, however, and for that he was grateful.

* * *

Days passed before Eggsy arranged another day out with his foster parents. For all they knew, he was going out to see friends, not his social worker. He left the house with a full backpack and a skateboard, zipping down the sidewalk at a notable speed despite the looks their neighbours gave him.

After several minutes, he slowed and came to a stop before Harry's house. A kick brought the skateboard up into hand, and Eggsy rang the doorbell.

He didn't have to wait long before the door opened and he was met with Harry in comfortable clothes and a draft of warm air from inside. "Come in, come in." Harry ushered him forward and closed the door behind him, shutting out the neighbourhood and enclosing Eggsy in the familiar front hall. More familiar than the one he currently lived in. "Have you had any lunch?" Harry asked while Eggsy propped up the skateboard against the wall. Something in the kitchen smelled delicious. Spices and something fried, but it was difficult to tell what. 

"Nah, not yet. Told them I was gonna get lunch with friends, so they gave me a couple quid for it." Eggsy had felt a twinge of guilt at that, but not enough to stop. Certainly not enough to reconsider his choices. "I figured you'd be makin' somethin' and we'd want to talk while eatin' anyways. Right?"

"Sounds good to me." Harry led the way to the kitchen where he'd prepared fried chicken and rice boiling on the stove next to a pot of the sauce that was permeating the air. Usually Harry waited for Eggsy to arrive before he prepared lunch or dinner, but then again usually when Eggsy visited these days it was also to view the mission logs. "There's a kettle on if you'd like some tea," Harry said as he brought out plates and began to dish them up, "Help yourself." 

Eggsy did, rising up on the balls of his feet to reach everything, though it wasn't nearly as far a stretch as it had been before. This time, the boy's thoughts weren't of mission logs and what new revelations might be in store for him to process. All he could think of was the decision he'd made, and the time clock counting down towards it, and everything he needed to keep him feeling safe. "Looks like you're cookin' more lately."

"Hm?" Harry glanced his way before thinking. "Oh. I suppose so. I thought it would be nice since you were coming over." But he had been cooking for himself more often these days. Not every day by any means, but more than he'd been before. And his drinking was still at a minimum, too. It seemed there were some benefits to Eggsy's surveillance, and not just for Eggsy's sake. He'd even caught Harry smiling at a camera every now and then through the week. They were fleeting moments, usually when Harry was getting ready for bed, and those smiles were always wistful and warm. 

"It's good. I mean, not just to eat your cookin'. It's good to see you interested and doin' it. It's nice to watch." And watch he had. Eggsy had been spending more time in his room lately, ostensibly working on his studies but mostly keeping the cameras transmitting. He hadn't felt so alone, watching Harry from a distance, and he'd been gratified to see that his concerns were translating into real changes. Harry was no longer drinking himself into danger or neglecting meals.

Harry looked up and smiled. He didn't comment on it as he brought their plates to the table, but Eggsy could see his amusement mixed with appreciation. 'Still worried about me?' Harry's smile seemed to say. 

"It's been nice to know you're watching lately," Harry admitted as he sat down at the table and poured himself a cup of tea as well. "But how have you been? Have things been ok at the Wilsons'? The usual?"

"Yeah, pretty ok. Nothin' really new. They're good to me, but don't really understand. I think that's gonna be a problem with all of their kids, unless they adopt 'em young enough," Eggsy added. "They mean well, but they don't get it. They're trying to adopt a kid and thinking about when _they_ were a kid, and not how things have been for the kid they're adoptin'. They're gonna be great for the right person, it just ain't me."

Harry hummed and nodded. Little had changed in the past week, then. They ate quietly for a few minutes before Harry decided to address the reason Eggsy had stopped over. "So you're still sure you'd like to live here again?" His voice was calm and smooth, just like he was asking about Eggsy's weekend plans, like nothing weighed on Eggsy's answer at all. 

"Yeah. I'm still sure," Eggsy countered. "Although, if I'm gonna be back here again, there's gonna be some rules. You don't get to set 'em. I lived on my own, and I can do it again. I'm not comin' back here just so you can control me. You get it?" The boy speared another bite of chicken and stuffed his mouth, never breaking eye contact with Harry.

"Yes." Harry nodded but remained unaffected by Eggsy's brashness. His expression didn't change in the slightest. If it told Eggsy anything, Harry was willing to listen to him, but still somewhat wary. But Harry didn't push after that. It was pretty clear he preferred to finish dinner before speaking further on the subject of rules and negotiations, if Eggsy was willing to allow any. 

The boy picked apart his dinner, separating meat from bone in tender shreds. "What are you thinkin' is gonna happen when I come back? Because we're not goin' back to how it was. With you hidin' cameras everywhere and manipulatin' me. I get my own space, and you don't come in there at all. With cameras or anythin' else. You don't make me have to beg for money either. I don't wanna go back to stealin' everything I need."

"I expected that. You told me as much when we last spoke." Harry's tone was still calm, still careful. The atmosphere in the room had gained a quality of tension, but Harry was doing his best to diminish it without sounding overly placating. "I expect that if you move back in, things will be much as they are now between us. That you'll have your own space and I will have mine and...well, I will stay out of your space unless you say otherwise. I thought you could have an amount of money to spend weekly, so you needn't ask anything of me unless it's something very big."

The boy nodded. Being given things still wasn't to his taste, as it felt like indulgence or being kept. But Harry _did_ owe him, in a way that he could never completely repay. "That sounds good. I ain't spend-happy or nothin', so it's not like I'm gonna ask for stuff until you can't handle it. My room is off-limits, though. For comin' in, for lookin' around at my stuff, or any sorts of cameras. I don't want nothin' in there without my say so, alright?"

"Alright." Harry nodded. That was fair enough and what Harry had expected. He was glad that Eggsy didn't have it in his head to pursue the route of revenge in financially petty ways, not that he didn't have enough to spend, but he knew it wouldn't make either of them happy. Eggsy really didn't like taking things from other people, even if Harry owed him. Harry set down his fork and pushed his empty plate aside. "What else?"

"You don't touch me unless I say so. Which I might, or might not, dependin' on how things go. I don't owe you nothin', and you make no assumptions just 'cause I'm livin' here." Eggsy stabbed his fork into a bit of meat and brought it to his mouth. "If I make some friends, I get to have 'em over sometimes, and you don't say nothin' about it. You tell me as much as you can about things before you go off on a mission, and when you think you're gonna be back."

Harry nodded again. He'd been expecting the no touching rule. And friends.... He'd always tried to keep the house civilian-proof, even before Eggsy came into his life. "I have no problem telling where I'll be, or within the general vicinity if I can't say more specifically than that, or how long I'll be away. If you have friends over, just try to keep them out of my room." Harry would have to take to keeping his gadgets in a locked closet rather than the foot of the bed if there was any chance kids Eggsy's age would be in the house, but every weapon on the lower floors was either hidden out of reach or in a safe. 

"Yeah, that won't be a problem. I wouldn't let anyone out of my sight in here." Eggsy had learned the hard way just how much weaponry and danger was in the house. "No cameras neither. You can keep whatever you need that points outward, in case someone tries to break in or sommat. But I don't want to be recorded or watched, no matter what I'm doin' at the time."

Harry had been expecting this, too. He straightened his shoulders but nodded to show Eggsy that he understood. "I can take them offline in any communal areas of the house, including your room, but I do not wish to turn them off in mine. From what I understand of how you're envisioning this will work out, I do not think that should pose a problem." Harry watched Eggsy carefully as he spoke and even more so after for a reaction. 

Eggsy's eyes narrowed. It was based on nothing coherent, simply a wave of emotion. He didn't like being denied anything, or the notion that if he went into Harry's rooms he would be watched. "Why? You that keen to let your friend creep on you while you sleep? Undress? Rub one out thinkin' of me? Or is it that he ain't allowed to watch me now, so you gotta let him watch whatever he can get now?"

"He is a large part of it, yes," Harry said, face schooled to show no emotion. "And if you have anyone else in the house, then I need to be sure I can see anyone going into that room. You have your space to do with as you will now, and I will have mine." Harry watched as the tension in Eggsy's bearing grew more concentrated. He could emphasise the point, but waited. Eggsy wouldn't take it kindly right now. 

"I don't want him watchin' me. _Or_ you," Eggsy ground out, even as he remembered his last talk with Merlin. The man was alone but for his cameras, but that was his choice. It wasn't Eggsy's fault that he refused, or couldn't, interact like a normal person. "How can you even want that? He ain't your boyfriend."

"No, he's not. But I do not intend to break what connection we have." As Eggsy's tone grew more irritated, Harry's grew softer. He swallowed and met Eggsy's eyes, holding for a beat before he spoke again. There was no telling how Eggsy was going to react, but Harry prepared for the worst. "And I never said I'd take away your access to the cameras, either."

"That ain't the _point_!" Eggsy snapped. "It... It feels like cheatin'. Like you travelin' to other countries and lookin' at other boys when you're there, even if you don't do nothin'. It's like... like I ain't the only one. And you don't care what's important to me or not. I don't like bein' watched, and I don't like sharin'."

Harry folded his hands on the table. He wasn't sure if Eggsy was drawing a hard line on this because of the position of insecurity Harry had put him in when he'd found out all that Harry had done, or whether Eggsy would have always felt this jealous. "The fact that I do not want to break my friendship with Merlin does not take away my feelings for you, by any measure. Neither I nor Merlin have a desire to become sexually, or romantically, intimate with each other, but we do not have a normal relationship either. We're close. We share the things that make us happy. That does not mean you have any obligation to do anything for him, nor do I want you to. But he is a part of my life."

Eggsy looked down at his plate. "I don't get it, why you let him do that stuff if... if you're not interested in everythin' else. I didn't like that I couldn't stop him watchin' me out on the street, and I 'specially don't like feelin' like he can see everythin' in the house. I get that he's lonely and weird, 'cause we've talked a little, but I don't like it. It just feels weird. I don't know if you can understand."

Harry shook his head. "If it were someone else, I'd feel the way you do. You don't trust him. Or like him, I suppose, but one thing has fed into another to make that feeling more concrete. But I do trust him. He's always been there for me. I find his presence a comfort rather than an imposition. If Merlin's watching, well...it means my world is a little safer. That had a lot to do with how all this started." Harry would have liked to reach across the table and break some of the distance between them, but he didn't want to impose anything more upon Eggsy. 

"I don't feel safer with him, though. I guess I can understand why you do, because he's been lookin' out for you for years, but knowin' I'm watched doesn't make me feel safer. It's like I'm back to bein' powerless, and I can't do anything. An' like I don't get to have you, 'cause someone else does too. Some stranger I don't even really know. Who's known you for so long, knows so much about you and asks you to do all sorts of things, and I just can't compete with that."

Harry sighed. "Eggsy. You are not competing with Merlin. I know this may be hard for you to understand, but people can have more than one type of closeness with others, and that doesn't take anything away from the love I feel for you." Finally, Harry did reach across the table for Eggsy's hand. He curled his fingers around it loosely. Eggsy's wrists were still so slim, his hands still so small. Harry suspected they might always be that way even when Eggsy grew up. He thought about Lee sometimes, and all the features the man had that Harry had never really noticed until he wondered what Eggsy might be like when he was older. But Eggsy had a lot of Michelle's delicate features, too. Like his eyes, looking up at Harry with furrowed brows. Hers had been a deeper blue, but there was a similar quality of distrust in them now. 

"I've never had a mate I'd let do that. I'd trust some of them with a lot of stuff, but I still wouldn't let 'em watch me. Or anyone I was datin'." Eggsy huffed out a sigh. "I don't like that you kept secrets from me when you didn't from him, neither. Or that he might know you better'n I will, 'cause he gets to see you all the time and in all sorts of places and ways I can't. I don't know if I can explain it."

"You've been very alone growing up these past few years. And I know most of that has been my fault." Harry stroked his thumb over Eggsy's knuckles, the skin still so soft. "Friendships don't usually get this close unless the stakes are high and both parties have been isolated. I know things between Merlin and myself are unusual. It's less uncommon in the world of spies to form such trust, but by your standards it must seem very strange indeed. There are a lot of unusual types in non-civilian life. But I don't wish to shut you out from that part of my life, Eggsy. I have no qualms over you knowing as much as you can about Kingsman or what I do." 

Eggsy paused at that, still looking warily at the older man. "So you'd tell me more than you have been? Or let me stick around, whenever... whenever you're chattin' with your friend or havin' him over?" That was the clinch of it, beyond the power differentials and jealousy and engrained distrust - Eggsy felt left out and kept in the dark, with the people around him holding all the knowledge and power over him and only sometimes giving him a bit in return. Eggsy didn't trust Merlin because he didn't know him or have the opportunities to really witness Merlin and Harry interacting in ways he could trust not to be playacting and lies.

Harry was a little taken aback. "Yes. Of course. I thought that was already part of this agreement. I've been showing you mission logs dating back decades and we've already agreed that I'd tell you where I am and what I'm doing if I have to leave for extended periods. I don't just mean I'm going to tell you these things grudgingly or try to keep as many details secret as I can. You are so far beyond the point of knowing what I've been up to that it hardly matters." Harry gripped Eggsy's hand a little more firmly. "So long as you don't use this information to go out looking for danger."

Eggsy shook his head. "Nah, I'm not that stupid. I got around you and Merlin, but I don't think I would've lasted with an entire team of people lookin' for me. 'Specially not if they really wanted to shoot me on sight, instead of just kidnapping me. I just didn't know if you were gonna hide everything recent and only let me look at stuff in the past. Or if you were gonna hide everything Merlin asks you to do. Just 'cause I don't like it doesn't mean I don't wanna know."

Harry nodded. "I see." Eggsy had thought he'd only reluctantly be let in. "I want you to be in my life again. Not just part of it. I'll admit that secrecy is ingrained in me, but if I have the chance to be open with you...I hope you know that I want that more than anything." Harry offered the boy a small smile. They both knew well that there were parts Eggsy didn't like, and some of them were even due to Kingsman's policies, but most were Merlin's projects. Still, Harry had been willing to talk about those, if reluctant to show footage. 

Insecurity made Eggsy shift uneasily again. His chin tilted downwards and his shoulders sloped with it. Eggsy was still a child, and a child who was used to being deprioritized and neglected. "You do... I mean, I know you like me, or you wouldn't have done everything or be all excited about me livin' here again. But y'do like me better, don't you?"

Harry tilted his head, surprised at the question although maybe he should have expected it. "Eggsy. I love you most in the whole world." He squeezed Eggsy's hand and reached out to close his other over the first. "I care about Merlin, absolutely. I want to keep him in my life. I enjoy what we share and I enjoy seeing him happy. I care about him in different ways, but he knows this. When the two of you have fought before, it wasn't because he wanted to take your place in my life, he just doesn't want you to take me away from him." 

"You promise?" Eggsy's voice was quiet, and the tentativeness only reinforced what Harry already knew: despite how his life had toughened him up and given him some unique exposure to life, Eggsy was still very young and insecure, for all the resilience and bravery he'd developed. "Promise you're not going to get rid of me, or replace me, or shut me out and only share stuff with him."

"I promise." Harry's face softened. He wondered if Eggsy would ever trust that he was secure in Harry's life. If not, Harry had sabotaged that for himself, and he knew it. He may never be certain of the future, and he knew that Eggsy would grow up, but he couldn't imagine his feelings changing so much that he would do any of those things Eggsy feared. 

"Come here." Harry lifted Eggsy's hand and rose from the table, taking the boy into his arms. "It'll be alright."

Eggsy pressed close and tucked his face against Harry's shoulder. It was a familiar gesture, and comforting because of it - the scent of Harry's skin and cologne beneath the fine wool and cotton, and the warmth and pressure of the arms enfolding him. There was no way to tell if Harry's words and promises meant anything. Eggsy would have to trust, and trust was difficult to come by after everything that had happened. "How can it be alright if I don't know what's gonna happen?"

Harry gave a soft sigh into Eggsy's hair. It might have been a laugh, even he wasn't sure. "The secret is no one really knows what's going to happen. But we can do our best to make the future the way we want it to be. Sometimes we can be pretty good at that. Sometimes not." Harry pulled back to look at Eggsy. His boy. Not so different from the boy he'd been when he'd first stepped through Harry's door. Grown a bit and with lots more weighing on him now, but there were still many experiences in life he had yet to encounter.

"I don't like not knowing." It was difficult for Eggsy to accept that Harry didn't know. He'd controlled so many other things, he should have been able to control that much... and yet, he hadn't been able to control Eggsy in the end either. He'd bet against so many things, and lost. If Harry couldn't completely count on himself for security, Eggsy shouldn't either. "I don't like not knowing, at all."

The corner of Harry's mouth lifted. "No one does. Believe me." He found it soothing to stroke the tiny hairs at the corner of Eggsy's temple, just as soothing as he meant it to feel. "But it's a fact of life we have to accept in order to keep living. And even if we make mistakes, we can get better at anticipating the future, and planning for it. There are a lot of things I've learned to control, but that control will never be perfect." 

Harry lifted the boy up in his arms like he used to do and carried him into the living room where they could sit on the couch. Dinner was already forgotten. He'd clean up later. Eggsy needed to feel secure with him now. 

"How can you be so comfortable not knowing, though? You don't go into a spy job not really knowing, do you? You have people look into things and help back you up, so you kinda know how things are gonna go. It's not totally random like everything else seems to be." Like life with Eggsy's mother had sometimes been when she got a bad boyfriend or had been too drunk. Or life on the street, when a regular delivery could go wrong at a moment's notice. Harry was supposed to be a professional at going into sticky situations and coming out alright, but even he didn't have complete control.

Harry smiled and shook his head. "I think you're misunderstanding the matter of degree. I have faith in my and my team's control over most things I do. And I can usually assess the risk. We are _very_ good at what we do." Harry paused to take in the way Eggsy was hanging on every word, desperately hoping for reassurance. "But if you don't anticipate that, sometimes--and you always hope very rarely, things will go wrong. You have to be flexible in order to work with that. You have to be as good as you possibly can, but you also have to anticipate the unexpected will happen, and you have to roll with it."

"I don't know how to do that. I mean, I did what I had to do, but it wasn't the best. Y'know? And I didn't even know if I was gonna make it. I thought I wasn't gonna, even. I don't wanna live like that _all_ the time, never knowing when I'm safe or what's comin' up." Eggsy's eyes glittered with worry. He was still remembering the security of his early childhood, where his mother might be doing poorly but he always felt safe and like he knew what might be coming.

"Those times are usually exceptions. But, no matter how you felt at the time, you have managed on your own. You made it through. And there were times when you did it very well." Harry rubbed Eggsy's back, encouraging him to curl up in the crook of Harry's arm. "You don't have to go on living like that anymore, but whatever you do, you'll find more confidence as you grow older. You learn how to create stability for yourself. Having a job, having a house and a car and all the usual things people have. Those things help."

Eggsy nodded, but he was barely able to conceptualize having those things, much less earning them. They were beyond his reach, the playthings and staples of adults, not him. They were as far distant as the countries of Asia, or maybe even Mars - perhaps achievably, or perhaps not in this lifetime. Too far to think about, at any rate, and he pressed closer to Harry. "I don't want to get older."

Harry clasped his hands together behind Eggsy's back and sighed. Not in consternation. It was one that came from his belly, lifting Eggsy with it and then slowly exhaling. Harry understood the weight in those words. He kissed Eggsy's forehead. "You have time to enjoy your youth still," he whispered. There was no stopping time and no stopping change. Eggsy would have to, eventually. 

"That makes it sound like some sort of... deadline," Eggsy complained. Thoughts of the future were too uncomfortable, and always had been. Less so right then, as Harry seemed more apt to help him, but Eggsy had always looked to the future with a measure of despair, seeing older men and his friends drift into dead end jobs and get trapped. "I wanna enjoy everything, but I also don't want... everything else. I don't know what I'd even do when I grew up."

"You'll have to start thinking about it. It's hard when you've been distracted by so many other pressing matters, like keeping a roof over your head." Harry stroked Eggsy's hair, unable to keep his hands away for long. "And I didn't mean to make it sound like a deadline. Only that what you fear isn't going to happen right away. It definitely doesn't happen all at once. I just hope that you'll feel more ready for it when the time comes." 

"I know Peter Pan isn't real, but I still don't want it to come." An eternity as he was felt better than the vast gaping uncertainty of the future as a grown man. Harry had said his affection wouldn't wane, but Eggsy still felt uneasy. He also couldn't look at older men and feel he wanted to be them. Harry, perhaps, but not the others he'd seen - balding, overweight, absentminded and irritable. "Did you want to grow up, when you were younger?"

"Yes...and no." Harry paused to consider how to explain. "I wanted to be independent, to start living my own life. I think I was ready for that long before I reached the age of majority. But it was also somewhat terrifying. I confess I broke down the day I turned eighteen." Absently, Harry's thumb massaged the back of Eggsy's neck. "Nothing too dramatic, mind you, and I never told anyone, but I was afraid the law would look more harshly on...well, any sort of relations I might have from then on. This was before Kingsman and before I had more than a vague Idea of what I'd do in life."

"When you thought... you'd have to do a normal job, and..." Eggsy could easily picture it. Not Harry as he was now, hardened from years of spy work and doing all sorts of favours for his friends, but Harry as a young teen, just as Eggsy had seen in the photo albums. Everything they had and had done was illegal, Eggsy knew, and he could imagine what it might be like, Love between people of the same sex would have been illegal and looked down upon, and between those of different ages especially so.

Harry nodded. Eggsy understood. "Kingsman proved to be a good fit for me. A way to take control of my life rather than letting it take control of me. As much as I could, anyway. They needed someone who could keep secrets and could put in the work. I was willing to learn everything they could teach me. Very willing." Harry had wanted to explore the world, he'd wanted to do something exciting with his life, something that fit him, but most of all he'd wanted to be free. 

"I don't want you to feel alone." Eggsy knew how that felt, both the empty longing and the fearful sense of vulnerability. He remembered both, exquisitely. He couldn't imagine Harry being that vulnerable, and yet, Eggsy had seen him upset. He'd seen Harry cry, and be afraid, and what it looked like when he didn't think he was going to survive.

Harry looked down and made sure Eggsy saw his smile. "I'm not alone. I still have you in my life, miraculously. And I have a team of people backing me up at work. And Merlin included." Harry felt it when his face softened. "You know it's going to mean a lot to me to have you here again." So many nights Eggsy had watched Harry in a lifeless routine, and even though it had picked up a bit, it was nothing like the atmosphere of the house when Eggsy had been there, too. It was strange how there was such a palpable difference, like Eggsy added something to the place even when he was in another room, or asleep in the early mornings when Harry went down to make breakfast. Harry had been living without even his ghost for a long time.

"Yeah. I'm not promisin' nothin', but I know. I feel better when I'm here, too. Some of it 'cause I don't have to lie, I think, because you already know everything. And some of it because I just feel safer. It sounds weird, after everything that happened here, but I don't feel all watched and like I'm in danger here like I kinda do in other places. Like I can be here and everything stops."

Harry gave a small laugh. "I think I know what you mean." To an outsider, that might indeed sound strange. Not to Harry though. "So. Are good and decided then? You're sure you want to do this? The next step is telling the Wilsons." It was something he needed to hear. One final time. Eggsy had been worried about telling them, and this was his last chance to back out. 

"Yeah, I'm sure. I've thought about it for a while, and the more I've done it, the more sure I got." Eggsy's mouth set into the stubborn line Harry was now very familiar with. Eggsy crossed his arms. "And before you say anythin', no, it wasn't 'cause I felt like I had to, or needed to, or like you needed me here. I didn't decide this 'cause of you, I decided it 'cause of me."

"Okay." Harry smiled. "I'll take your word for it." The way Eggsy adopted this defiant posture while still seated in Harry's lap was hard not to find endearing, but Harry did his best to take the boy seriously. He could tell Eggsy meant it. He just looked very cute when he was trying to look otherwise. "When do you think we should tell them?" Harry couldn't just take Eggsy off their hands right away, but he and Merlin had already begun working out the finer details of keeping the Wilsons distracted after the move. 

"Sooner than later. I don't wanna hang around and get their hopes up and stuff. I know they were thinkin' I was gonna be the one they adopted." Eggsy grimaced and ducked his head. "It's gonna be awkward, but even more the longer it goes on. 'Specially if they ask why I didn't give them any hints for all that time about what I was thinkin'. But you can tell them somethin' kinda like the truth? That we've known each other for a while, like we've told 'em, and you've been lookin' after me, and lookin' into if you'd be allowed to adopt me even though you were my social worker. And you got permission, and you asked me if I was interested, and I said yes, so it's not like I'm goin' with some stranger or they were bad at being foster parents." Eggsy shrugged. "'Cause they weren't. They just weren't right for me."

Harry nodded. "I'll give them a call tomorrow, then. Let them know I have some news and then speak with them in person. You don't have to worry about explaining anything, although I'm sure they'd like it if you were there for that conversation and can confirm you'd like to go with me." Harry was already making plans for how he'd tell them and all the varied ways that conversation could go. "We'll have you move shortly after that." He brushed the curve of Eggsy's ear. "They might ask you some questions after this talk, but they're not the sort of people who'd interrogate you or make you feel guilty for leaving."

"I hope not." Eggsy already felt vaguely guilty, but he also knew he owed them nothing. Just like with Harry, monetary care wasn't supposed to buy his loyalty or time. The Wilsons were only doing what they had wanted to do, and Eggsy wasn't cruel or taking advantage of them for having given them a chance. "I just don't want them feelin' bad, and I don't wanna get ganged up on."

"I don't think they'll do the latter, and even if they are sad to see you go, I have a feeling they'll try not to let it show too much. They've taken pride in trying to be a good family. I doubt they'd spoil that now." Harry wondered what it would have been like if Eggsy had gone to live with them in the first place. If Michelle's troubles had ever gotten so bad on their own that Eggsy was put into care and picked up by a nice family instead of Harry. Would Eggsy have learned to love them? Would he have felt like he fit? Harry held the boy a little tighter, not knowing the answer. 

Stressful as it was, it was also pointless to speculate. Neither of them would ever know what might have been. What had happened had happened, and Eggsy wasn't the same boy he'd been when they'd begun. His life might have gone down a different path, but the same could be said for anyone had the circumstances of their lives been a little different. The best that could be done was to build a healthy, happy future with the present they had. "I hope they don't spoil it. I kinda like them. I just don't wanna live with them, I wanna live here."

Harry bent and kissed Eggsy's forehead, his reassurance that, for now, things would be ok. For once, the future had the potential to be ok, too. Not perfect, perhaps, but ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting for this chapter. We always appreciate it. 
> 
> In addition to the usual DKBP Saturday chats, we're also doing Friday night chats! Join us 12/2 and 12/3 at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	53. Chapter 53

They sat in a comfortable embrace, enjoying each other’s' company and the strangeness of a better future, until the clock struck 1. Eggsy had the afternoon free, and it wouldn't be until dinner time that he had to go back to the Wilsons'. The times he was usually at Harry's house these days were when he'd asked for company or, more often, when he was looking through Harry's life. Now, they were on the verge of transition. 

But Harry was never one for awkwardness, so he suggested they put on a film in celebration and extricated himself from Eggsy to make some popcorn. 

Eggsy took advantage of the suggestion, reining in and re-ordering his thoughts while he flipped through the available films. The boy was having a difficult time talking himself down from all the things he wanted to do, including revisiting the past by building a fort and reading comics. Such a gesture could be read entirely in the wrong way, and Eggsy didn't want to signal to Harry that things were going right back to how they'd been, or that everything was healed between them, or that he could make any sort of assumptions at all.

When the scent of freshly popped and buttered popcorn wafted through the room and Harry returned with a still sizzling bowl to place on the coffee table between them, the setting was comfortable enough and familiar enough. Harry closed the shades and then returned to the couch while Eggsy made his selection, putting his feet up on a stool and taking a handful, then blowing on the kernels to cool them down. He gave Eggsy a small smile and his body was a familiar warmth against the boy’s side, but Harry let him have his space.

Eggsy wanted space, and he didn't. The beginning scenes began to unfold on the screen, and Eggsy couldn't pay attention to anything but the form beside him. He wanted too many things - independence and control, Harry desperate and begging. Everything that he'd had before, pinned down and breathless. Scenes unfolded on the screen in front of them, full of action and tension, and Eggsy inched closer as slowly as he dared.

Harry gave no indication of noticing. His eyes remained on the telly, but when Eggsy was fully pressed up against his side, his arm lifted to wrap around Eggsy's shoulders. Like Harry didn't even think about it. He held Eggsy in that casually comfortable embrace and enjoyed their closeness without ever looking down at him and letting Eggsy know he'd been caught out. 

Even if Eggsy pressed as close as he could, Harry didn't turn his idle stroking of Eggsy's shoulder into a more sensual touch. Eggsy sometimes changed his mind about what he came to visit Harry for, but this visit had been for a different reason than most. 

More plot unfolded on screen, intrigues and intense gunfights, and Eggsy barely glanced at it. He'd consumed a few fistfuls of popcorn, but snacks or the movie were not what commanded his attention. He'd been distracted before he'd even arrived, anticipating that Harry would question his decision and his action plan.

Strong fingers stroked along the boy's shoulder and the back of his neck, only pausing when Eggsy faced him more directly and pressed even closer.

Finally, Harry looked down. Their eyes met. The corner of Harry's mouth lifted, but there was a question in his gaze, trying to figure out if Eggsy wanted more...and what that would mean now. The hand at Eggsy's shoulder lifted to the back of his head and stroked the short hairs there. The longer Eggsy stared, the more uneasy Harry looked. "Have I got something on my nose?" he finally asked, quiet, almost playful. 

"Yeah. C'mere, I'll take care of it," Eggsy shot back in return, his voice just short of breathless. Small hands reached up, tucking behind Harry's neck and into his hair, pulling him down closer. "You ain't been takin' care of yourself very well, you know. Like I told you. I guess I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you if I'm movin' back in."

"I thought there were going to be limits on that sort of thing...." Harry's voice wasn't much louder and he swallowed, trying to clear it. He was a little hesitant now. He didn't want to seem like he was expecting this, even though Eggsy's actions had made it fairly clear he still wanted intimacy. But Eggsy wanted it on his terms. Harry didn't expect him to seal their deal in any way today. He wasn't even sure that it was a good idea even if Eggsy wasn't thinking about it like that. Eggsy might fear starting out this way would make Harry expect it. 

"Yeah, there is. No sneakin' peeks, no comin' in my room. I don't do nothin' unless I want to, and nobody else watches," Eggsy shot back, all seriousness. "This ain't goin' back to how things were. This is goin' to something different."

Harry inclined his head. He understood that much. "I'm just making sure that you're sure...about this...now." He could already feel his blood warming to the idea. And Eggsy's body pressed against his. But he had not expected this today. Then again...maybe this wasn't insecurity on Eggsy's part. Or at least not the helpless sort. Maybe he wanted to test having this now that things were decided between them, just because Eggsy wanted it. Harry had always been better at these things when he was the one guiding. 

"Wouldn't be askin' if I wasn't sure. And I'm not expectin' anything 'cept when I ask." Eggsy didn't think Harry would ever be the sort of person he'd seen on the streets, trading material goods and security for sexual favours. Harry had already offered to supply him with anything he wanted to recover in life, no further strings attached. He wouldn't be the sort to try to hold Eggsy captive, otherwise he would have already tried, and Eggsy didn't plan on forming a relationship of trading himself for whatever he wanted or needed.

"Okay then," Harry breathed. That was all he needed. He slid his arm around Eggsy's middle and scooped the boy into his lap where, just as surely as Eggsy expected, he could feel Harry beginning to harden. Harry knew Eggsy could anticipate that reaction from him with just a look. The _right_ look, of course, but it was exactly the kind of look he'd been giving Harry even when Harry had tried to brush it off. 

Sitting in Harry's lap, Eggsy was taller than him now, and so Harry had to lean back and draw him down to get a kiss.

Eggsy was trying to be subtle about it, but there wasn't much he could do when this close and put up against someone with Harry's observational skills - he was watching closely. Interested and willing, eager even as he leaned down slightly to claim Harry's lips, but thoughtful. Harry might have thought that Eggsy was still wary regarding him, but the cautious suspicion he'd remembered from their earlier trysts was absent.

It took a few seconds for Harry to recognize his own expression, mirrored. The same look he'd worn when he was watching Eggsy closely for cues while doing his best to enjoy and commit every moment to memory. 

It brought a smile to Harry's lips. "Are you trying to read me?," he asked, hands slipping up the back of Eggsy's shirt to distract him from his answer. Harry wondered what he looked like to the boy. Eggsy's eyes were focused, without a crease in his brow, but his pupils were larger than usual. His breaths drew just a little more deeply. Harry was sure he was similarly affected, even though he'd tried to remain reserved until Eggsy assured him he wanted this. 

"Y-yeah, a little," Eggsy finally admitted. Fingers sliding up along back had thrown his focus off, and Harry was delighted to get a quiet moan in return for pressing in little circles. "I mean, some stuff is obvious. But I never really know everythin' you're thinkin'. You must not be able to look at me and figure out everythin' I'm thinkin' either, though."

"No. I can't read minds." Harry's smile widened and he leaned in to press another kiss against Eggsy's lips. "But I can take your pulse," he added as one hand circled around Eggsy's wrist. "And I can watch where your eyes go, how large your pupils are, the colour in your cheeks, the ways you pull your mouth.... All the little unconscious expressions you make. We all have them. Only with practice can they be controlled or erased." And Harry could remember all the times Eggsy had been frustrated with the way Harry went blank, something that happened more often after Eggsy had left. 

"You're really good at doin' that, though. I mean, I know _why_ you're good at it. I just wish you wouldn't with me. It's like part of you isn't really here." Eggsy leaned in and kissed him again, smiling when he pulled back and Harry tried to follow. "Like that, you're here. When you get so worked up you're not payin' as much attention, you're here more. But sometimes you just close off."

"I do prefer it this way, with you." Harry remembered the first few times he'd really, truly shut his expression down in front of Eggsy when he'd been on the receiving end of the boy's accusations. He'd forced himself calm and cold in order to function, and he'd hated every moment of it. That was not to say he hadn't altered what he was projecting for Eggsy countless times before then, when he had to pretend not to know things about the boy's life and not have a hand in any of it, but for Harry, the coldness was worse. He'd tried very hard to never let Eggsy see that blankness before things went badly between them. 

"So do I." Eggsy settled against Harry with a sigh. "I have thought about things a lot, you know. I know I didn't hafta come back here if I didn't wanna. I know you wanted me here again but I didn't come back because of you. Or not only 'cause of you, I guess. I've just been thinkin' a lot. An' I missed the house, how it was before I started findin' stuff and didn't know what to expect and it didn't feel safe anymore."

Harry's touches turned gentle, intended to comfort more than excite. That said a lot about Eggsy's feelings on his life with Harry. "That means a great deal to me, Eggsy." It meant that Harry had done a few things right. A few things that mattered. Eggsy was the only one who could tell him that. Maybe he could keep as much of what Eggsy needed in their relationship as possible. He hoped so. And, quite selfishly, he was glad that intimacy seemed to be one of them. He let his thumb trail down Eggsy's cheek and brush at the corner of his mouth. He let Eggsy see the desire work its way back into his thoughts. 

The corner of the boy's mouth turned up. "How 'bout we go upstairs? The sofa ain't bad in a pinch, but... I kinda want more space right now." Harry's bed was more comfortable, both physically and in terms of some of Eggsy's related memories, and had a weight of significance to it that the sofa didn't. Eggsy was growing, as was obvious by the slight change in height between them and the boy's own recent discoveries. This would be their first time together since he'd begun to physically change, and Eggsy wanted something more than just a quick entanglement on the couch.

Harry wound an arm around Eggsy's back and hoisted him up, grinning all the while. He still had no trouble carrying Eggsy, although Harry was quite strong and probably wouldn't for some time yet. Eggsy's ankles hooked around his back and he carried the boy up the stairs just like he'd done countless times before. 

Harry's bedroom was sunny and warm from the heater, offsetting the chill and the look of things outside the windows. He laid Eggsy down on the bed before he went to close the curtains. This, too, was familiar. It had been a while since they'd done this in broad daylight, as though they had all day to themselves and not just a few hours in the evening. Harry returned, shedding his slippers along the way and climbing up to advance upon Eggsy with a hungry look in his eye. 

Eggsy held his arms up, and Harry didn't hesitate at helping the boy slip out of his shirt. Eggsy was just as lean and soft underneath as he'd always been. Quite likely, that would never really change; Lee had had relatively little in the way of body hair when he'd been in training, as compared to his fellows. Harry touched Eggsy's hips and the boy raised them with a smirk. "This eager to welcome me back, huh? Do I get a party later?"

"I'll throw you a personal party. With a little hat and confetti.... And then I can unwrap you. What do you say to that?" Harry tugged Eggsy's trousers down his legs and tossed them onto the floor before moving over him and sliding a hand back up his thigh. Harry didn't waste any time teasing. A rarity, for him. He slid his palm over the front of Eggsy's pants and began slow strokes as he bent to kiss Eggsy. Harry put him off balance, leaning over him like that, until Eggsy couldn't sit up any longer and Harry had him pressed down on the bed. 

"What about cake and ice cream?" Eggsy murmured back. "Or me unwrappin' you? I might like that better. It's supposed to be a party for _me_ , after all. How's that fair if you're the one who gets spoiled?" Harry's palm was slow, far too slow. Eggsy thrust up against him, trying to get just a little more friction.

"Do you think I'd look pretty with a bow on my head?" Harry asked while nibbling his way down Eggsy's jaw. He took the hint and slid his hand underneath the elastic band of Eggsy's pants and met the hot skin underneath. He got another buck of the hips for his trouble. He shed Eggsy's last item of clothing after stroking for another minute, until the boy was naked beneath him and Harry gently pressed their bodies together. It was always an experience when Harry was fully clothed and Eggsy wasn't, and he had a good idea what it would feel like from Eggsy's side, too, which was part of the reason Harry enjoyed it so much. "Would you like to unwrap me now?"

"Yeah," Eggsy breathed. "I would. And I dunno so much about a bow on your head, but I can think of other places." The boy reached up and ran his fingers over rich fabric, enjoying the solid feel of Harry's chest underneath. He took his time on the buttons, even though the hand stroking him tempted him to rush. There'd be plenty of other times to rush straight into things, now that he was moving back in.

One by one, the layers of Harry's clothing were peeled away with nimble little fingers. Harry kept up his incentive for Eggsy not to stop until he was just as bare, then he removed his hand and slid their hips together. Harry's cock provided a less focused pleasure than his fingers, but the sight of the two of them brushing together was a different sort of pleasure entirely. Harry's hands went to Eggsy's backside to pull them even closer together. He enjoyed that friction for a minute more before reaching for the night stand. Eggsy wanted to take his time, Harry knew, but it had been a while and something about this being the start of a new era between them was making him desperate.

Eggsy seemed much more relaxed, this time. Part of it was the lack of pressure, as they weren't pressed for time, but some of it must have been because Eggsy had made up his mind, at least regarding some things. There wasn't the uncertainty about whether this would be the last time, or worrying about getting caught and hiding from his foster parents, or feeling the clock ticking down and pushing him towards a decision. He'd made a decision, the first of many to come.

Harry came back with the lube, but lingered over Eggsy's lips when he went in for another kiss. Eggsy's relaxed state was calming. He smiled down at the boy, their noses touching, and Harry had to wonder, not for the first time, how this boy could love him so much. He'd done everything he could to make that happen, and perhaps that had a lot to do with why it was so surprising that Eggsy really did. 

Harry uncapped the bottle and slid down Eggsy's body, kissing as he went, intent on making this good. 

The crux of it was that Eggsy had become more certain that Harry had meant what he said - he _did_ care and love him, even if he'd chosen poor ways of showing it or indulged in his own selfishness. Harry could have not bothered about Eggsy’s well-being and his future at all, or whether he took pleasure from what they did, or even if he wanted it. With the resources and skills at Harry's disposal, he could have had any number of lovers or victims.

But he hadn't. Manipulations aside, Harry had done a lot to try to take care of him and make him happy. From what Eggsy had gathered, he hadn't gone seeking other boys elsewhere after Eggsy had left. He hadn't kidnapped him and kept him prisoner, or tried to force him to come back, or had him killed or silenced even though Eggsy was a dangerous personal liability. From what Merlin had told him and what he'd observed on the cameras, Harry felt Eggsy's absence deeply and fell into neglectful depression when confronted with the loss.

The boy's observations from the cameras and the juxtaposition of his life with the Wilsons had drawn things into sharper focus; whatever else might happen, Eggsy felt better when around Harry, and he'd realized that he could no longer imagine not having the older man in his life in some capacity or another.

As if to punctuate his thoughts, Harry's kisses drew down the corner of his hip and teased at the base of his cock, still very small even as erect as it was. Harry's tongue was a reward, his lips wrapping over the head was even better. Harry might have been lying when he said he couldn't read minds. Or Eggsy's body was speaking for him, and Harry had always been very good at reading it, especially in these intimate moments. 

He spent a long time lavishing Eggsy's little cock before rubbing his thumb over the tender skin beneath Eggsy's balls, letting him know what was coming next. Every one of Harry's touches reassured Eggsy's faith in him. He never left Eggsy uncertain of what he was about to do, and when his thumb slid lower and rubbed over his hole, it was like Harry was making a promise. That this would be good. That Eggsy's love and trust wouldn't be wasted. 

The boy gasped and his hips tilted up at the touch. He remembered how good Harry could make this, and for once a thread of anger wasn't percolating at the back of his mind. Harry wasn't forgiven yet, but the constant simmering resentment had drained away. Harry wasn't the same man he'd met at the beginning, and yet he was. It was the same mouth around him, the same warm hand gently resting on his stomach, the same slow caution as Harry slipped a finger inside and began to work on opening him up.

Harry sucked in tandem with the working of his fingers. One after another, he slipped them inside Eggsy, and Eggsy opened up beautifully for him. There was no tension this time, nothing but what gentle coaxing could ease as though Eggsy's body trusted Harry even more instinctively than his mind. It wasn't long before Eggsy's hips were moving against Harry's mouth and his fingers and he was ready for more. 

So Harry withdrew and moved back up the bed, putting his weight next to Eggsy rather than on top of him and drawing the boy against him. Harry wanted to wait and enjoy the moment, but it was difficult to hold back and before long he was spreading lube over his own cock and guiding it between Eggsy's legs to rub at the opening his fingers had just vacated. The anticipation, and watching Eggsy squirm at the touch, missing Harry's fingers and waiting for more, was worth drawing it out a little longer. 

Eggsy reached out and braced himself against Harry as he felt himself being teased - just touches and gentle friction without pressure. After a few moments, Eggsy's patience broke and he shifted himself downwards. He felt the moment Harry slipped inside and shut his eyes, willing himself to relax. Sex wasn't as difficult as it had been at the beginning, but they still had to be careful.

Harry's face broke into a grin and Eggsy received a very enthusiastic kiss for his initiative, but Harry held as still as possible. His hand, placed over the small of Eggsy's back, and his hips gently pressing in, guided them slowly together when Eggsy was relaxed again. 

Harry loved those first moments of penetration, the way it felt to sink inside of Eggsy when he'd been without the boy for so long. He knew there was more discomfort on Eggsy's side in those first few thrusts, and so Harry was always very careful not to get too lost in his own pleasure, but it never did override the thrill for him. 

Seconds ticked by, eased by gentle touches, and eventually Eggsy's body loosened and adjusted. The boy always breathed a little easier once that part had passed, no longer bracing against the pain that came from pushing forward just a bit prematurely. His eyes opened and he found Harry watching him closely, warm and playful but still a touch predatory for all of that. "...what? How come you're lookin' at me like that?"

Harry had to think about that for a second. He found the simplest answer was probably the best. "I'm happy. I want you, and you're here. You're mine." He punctuated the statement with a slow thrust of his hips and didn't stop after that. He knew Eggsy had put boundaries on their relationship going forward, but in the moment he didn't care. Eggsy wanted this. He'd wanted to be Harry's, at least right now, and Harry revelled in that. He pulled the boy in closer and tickled his neck with soft kisses, a strange and pleasurable counterbalance to Harry's slow thrusting. 

Eggsy shivered, but he didn't contradict Harry. He might not be forever, but for the moment, he was Harry's. Or, as Eggsy liked to think of it, Harry was his - Harry was willing to do what it took to satisfy Eggsy's requirements for staying, up to a certain point, and he hadn't done well when Eggsy was gone. That knowledge made the boy feel a good deal more in control.

Moreover, he did want this. Eggsy enjoyed sex, and none of the bad history between them had dampened that. The ability to watch Harry at a distance via his house cameras had only amplified the frequency of his daydreams and self-indulgences, or at least it seemed that way.

Harry had missed him just as much, and though he worried about crossing a line with Eggsy's new rules, it had not dampened his desire for the boy. And Eggsy was wrapping himself around Harry in return. His legs wound around Harry's back easier than they had the first time they'd done this, and Harry didn't have to bend down so much and Eggsy didn't have to look up quite as far, but Harry did not revel any less in the joy of being inside him. One of Harry's hands lifted to stroke his cheek while the other took hold of his erection and began to match the rhythm of Harry’s hips. 

Eggsy found it difficult to keep his gaze focused on Harry. The stimulation was too much, and his eyes kept wanting to close to focus on the sensation of it all. He didn't miss that sex seemed to come easier than it had before, months ago. As much as Eggsy was enjoying it, that sparked a bit of anxiety, as he still wasn't certain whether Harry had been truthful or not about their future. Eggsy wanted a future, and much of that depended on how he and Harry interacted as he grew up.

Harry bent to leave open mouthed kisses along Eggsy's neck that only added to the overwhelming stimulation. Harry's mind was clearly on other things besides Eggsy getting older. He lifted off the boy's neck and gave him a mischievous smile before Harry hooked an arm under Eggsy's back and turned them so that Eggsy was on top. The smile remained even when Harry's back was to the mattress and he had to thrust his hips up instead of down. He didn't waste long in getting his hands back on Eggsy, either. 

The change was intoxicating. Eggsy was forced to open his eyes and look down, surprised at the shift in positions. So too, the change gave him further control - Harry could thrust up as he pleased, but that meant nothing if Eggsy wasn't bearing down. Eggsy felt hands on his hips, but nothing was forced, and a mischievous smile graced his mouth as he held onto Harry and pushed his hips down.

This was something Harry missed quite a lot. Playful sex. The way Eggsy's eyes lit up, unrestrained, not self-conscious, meeting Harry for every movement whether it was designed to give pleasure or to tease at more. Harry loved seeing that look in Eggsy's eyes again, and so he rolled his hips, lifting Eggsy more than strictly necessary, encouraging him to ride or fight back and wrestle Harry down. 

Eggsy responded with a grin. He wasn't the sort to give up or give in without a struggle, and he took a good deal of pride in having beaten Harry at his own game in the past. Small hands pushed down on Harry's chest and his hips ground against his older lover's. "Think you've got me, huh?"

"Have I?" Harry asked with brows raised and a jut of his chin, and another thrust of his hips to punctuate his retort. "Or have you got me?" Eggsy's hands were warm and insistent, and stronger than they'd once been. Harry felt it in the way Eggsy held him down and began working his hips the way he wanted to, drawing delirious pleasure out of them both. One of Harry's hands tightened over his hip, but he didn't force Eggsy back to his pace. Instead, his other hand found Eggsy's cock again and began stroking him in counterpoint. 

The boy huffed out a breath and bowed his head. Self-pleasure didn't compare to this. "Yeah, I think I've got you instead. An' you know it. You've been runnin' after me for months."

Harry reached up and grabbed him, brought Eggsy's ear down so he could whisper in a conspiratorial tone, "I think you might be right." He let Eggsy wrestle free, but not before he got a nibble of the boy's ear and by the time Eggsy was back in control, Harry was grinning up at him, perfectly satisfied in his confession. And he could be. It wasn't a weakness when Eggsy was with him like this, bearing down on Harry and drawing his breaths short, quickening his pulse, and making his dreams come true. Again. Harry was sure his grin had gone a little delirious, but he couldn't help it. He was Eggsy's. That had been apparent for some time now. 

"Good. 'Cause I like you just like that." Eggsy himself was fairly breathless. Harry looked dashing in his finery, no doubt about it, but even this view - the softer flesh hidden beneath, toned muscle paired with signs of aging - it held its own beauty and attraction. Eggsy loved the juxtaposition of broad shoulders and firm arms contrasted with a softer stomach, and the way Harry's chest expanded and quivered as he moved, sinking down onto him again and again.

"I thought as much," Harry gasped. He was going to start losing his rhythm soon. Too soon, but this was too much. This was everything he'd wanted and everything he'd missed. And the way Eggsy was looking at him with such appreciation, like all he'd wanted was this, too. There was no worry in his eyes. He just drank Harry in, brows relaxed and hair falling down around his forehead as he bent over Harry. In that position, with Eggsy looking almost straight down at him, held down by the boy's firm hands, it really did feel like Eggsy was in control, and with no small amount of surprise, Harry realised he trusted it.

The boy's hips snapped forward in quick succession, as if he was the one driving into Harry instead of bottoming, and that was all it took. Eggsy saw the look on Harry's face change before he felt it echo through his body, tightening all at once as the lust and pleasure that had been coiling in him spilled over. There was an answering twitch inside him followed by Harry’s grunt and Eggsy sighed and slowed. He wasn't nearly done, but that didn't matter. He'd gotten what he wanted, though he couldn't have described it if he tried. Some of it was expressing control over Harry, some of it was opening old doors, and some of it was reassuring himself of Harry's interest, but even that summation was missing the whole of what he felt.

Harry was still gasping. It was rare that they came together like that. Even rarer that it should happen now, he thought, when they were only getting used to each other again. But they had both been desperate, it seemed. Eggsy just as much as him after he'd been given permission. 

Harry lifted his arm to wrap around Eggsy's shoulders and pull him down, encouraging the boy to rest against him as their heartbeats slowed and Harry's hands wandered down Eggsy's back. Harry turned and kissed the boy's temple. The memories of post-coital comforts shared in this bed faded away in the moment. This seemed like something new, and not, also, but Harry didn't need to reach back into his memories. This was just as good. Even better, with time and perspective, perhaps. 

Eggsy went willingly, even though his smaller cock twitched in protest at the lack of fulfilment. Climax wasn't all he wanted. If that had been so, he would have been content with his own hand, not thinking about Harry constantly during the day and right before he slept each night. He wouldn't have felt such a panic at the idea that growing up might dim the light in Harry's eyes and make this affection withdraw, either.

Harry smiled when he felt that stiffness brush against him. "Not quite done, are you?" he teased, but there was a note of delight in his voice. Harry let his palms roam all the way down to Eggsy's cheeks and palmed them for a moment, gauging how sensitive Eggsy felt. When Harry determined the action wouldn't be unwelcome, he slid his hand in between them again and rubbed the shaft of Eggsy's cock slowly, but firmly. He watched Eggsy's mouth open and his eyes briefly shut as Harry stroked. Eggsy had to turn just a little for better access, but it provided the perfect view for both of them of Harry's long fingers massaging his small shaft. 

Eggsy's breathing sped back up until he was fairly panting against Harry's chest, watching the older man stroke him. He didn't feel embarrassment or shame anymore. He'd chosen this, not gotten tricked into it. There was no reason to feel anxious or angry about it. The only thing he worried about was what was to come.

He'd told Harry he was growing up, and Harry had reassured him, but seeing the evidence for himself was something else. Eggsy didn't think he'd be able to handle a look of disappointment on Harry's face.

Harry didn't think anything of it when Eggsy tucked his head under Harry's chin, or when the boy's eyes fluttered shut and seemed content to stay that way. Except that Harry could see him peeking down every now and again, especially as the hitches in his breath grew more pronounced and the little thrusts of his hips grew more frantic. Harry knew all the ways Eggsy liked to be touched and his doubts weren't enough to counter Harry's skill or the familiar comfort of Harry's arms around him and attention on him. Harry placed lingering kisses against Eggsy's cheek while his hand worked, pace quickening by degrees. 

Eventually, Eggsy choked off a cry and clung tighter to Harry. He twitched in Harry's fingers, and a small amount of clear liquid spilled out to coat them as he finished the last few strokes. Eggsy was holding on firmly enough to leave nail marks in Harry's skin, and his eyes stayed closed. If Harry was disappointed, he didn't want to see.

He felt Harry exhale, although the action might have seemed more pronounced because of how short Eggsy's breaths were. He might have stopped breathing altogether if he hadn't just come for a second time. Then Harry's fingers ran over the head of his cock, lingering there for a moment and making his hips squirm before the hand disappeared. It didn't return. 

Harry gave a quiet hum and Eggsy felt him shift. When Eggsy dared to peek through one eye, he found Harry with his fingers pressed to his lips, tongue emerging to taste the clear fluid before smiling down at Eggsy with eyes alight. But Harry took in the way Eggsy was hiding and his smile grew a little softer. "I missed the first time this happened, didn't I?"

"Y-yeah." Eggsy's uncertainty was clear as day. Harry had told him that he wasn't going to be rejected, but Eggsy had experienced a lot of empty words and broken promises in his life. "Not too long ago, but... I got worried. That you wouldn't want me anymore. 'Cause I'm different now."

Harry snorted. "Nonsense." He tilted his head until he caught Eggsy's eye. "I always wondered what it would be like to taste you." He knew Eggsy was reading the openness in his expression, and Harry was telling the truth. There were things he'd feared about Eggsy growing up. Still feared, just a bit, with all the uncertainty that came with these changes. But this was one thing Harry had thought about with interest. He'd always imagined himself being there for it. It wasn't quite the consistency of Harry's own cum, nor the amount, but it wouldn't be long before that changed. Eggsy was going to get a lot bigger soon, too, but Harry stopped the succession of events racing through his mind and let himself focus on this one. Just this one. He lifted his fingers back to his mouth and let Eggsy watch as he licked them clean. 

Eggsy didn’t move, enthralled and breathless. He'd hoped for acceptance, but he hadn't thought Harry might actually enjoy this. They both knew it was a sign that he was growing up. As soon as Harry's fingers left his mouth, Eggsy moved without thinking. He needed to close the gap between them, and he crawled up until he could lean down and press their lips together.

Harry smiled through it, and if Eggsy wasn't mistaken, there was a slight tang of himself lingering on Harry's tongue. Harry closed his eyes and Eggsy felt fingers running through his hair. Harry was encouraging him to melt even though Eggsy's nerves fought against it. 

Even though Harry hadn't been there when Eggsy had first discovered this change, it felt incredibly good that the boy was willing to show him even if Eggsy was nervous. Granted, it would have been hard to hide from Harry if they continued having sex, but Eggsy hadn't tried. 

When they finally broke the kiss, Eggsy tucked himself against Harry's neck. The scent and warmth was familiar and comforting, just as the feel of the arms around him was. "I wasn't sure. I know what you'd said before, but I wasn't sure." Eggsy had seen all the tropes in the media, after all, with older men getting rid of their previous lovers for younger ones. It was difficult not to doubt when the gossip rags were full of such nonsense every week.

"That's okay." Harry kept stroking his hands down Eggsy's back, reassuring the boy with both words and touch. "I know you're going to worry," he added quietly, "and that's alright." It felt good to lay like that, with Eggsy warm atop him and the boy's fears dashed for the time being. New possibilities had opened up for them that day and the future didn't seem so bleak. The next phase of Eggsy's move nudged at the edges of Harry's thoughts, but he pushed it away for the moment. He could think about that later and enjoy having Eggsy with him now. 

Eggsy was quiet for several moments, simply basking in the attention and afterglow. So rarely did he feel like everything was going to work out in the end, but right then he could believe it. He could figure things out. He could decide what he wanted to do for himself, and he wouldn't be thrown away. Harry would let him have power and make decisions. Things didn't have to be terrible. "You don't mind, do you, that I want my own room an' space an' stuff?"

Harry thought about it for a minute, wanting to give Eggsy's question the truth it deserved. "No, I don't mind. In some ways it'll probably be for the better. You can have your own space, your own privacy. Everyone needs that when they're growing up. But I'll still be here when you want me around, and you'll have a home to come back to every day. And you won't be alone." Harry's fingers curled at the back of Eggsy's neck. This is, essentially, what he'd wanted for the boy. All his meddling aside, he'd wanted Eggsy to keep loving him as he grew up and found his own way. 

"Good. I just... I want my own place, y'know? Just for me. Not full of cameras, or with people sneakin' in and pokin' through everything, or having to share it with a bunch of other people. Or wonder if they're gonna change the whole room around, 'cause they own it and I don't. I want it to be _mine_." Security of place had been another thing Eggsy had lacked growing up, in no small part due to Harry's meddling.

Harry wrapped his arms around Eggsy and held him tight. "Won't be long now." 

It was going to be a big change for Eggsy, for them both, but at least they had the same short term goals in mind. Eggsy would be able to get comfortable in that over the next couple years, Harry hoped, and then they would see about the greater future. Harry shifted and brought the blankets up around them now that Eggsy's skin was cooling and so was his own. The house may have been warm and the sun may still have been shining outside, but creating a cocoon of warmth and comfort felt nice. 

Almost like the older days. Eggsy was bigger now, and wiser, but not so different. He settled against the crook of Harry's arm in the same way, and snuck one leg between Harry's as if to trap him and keep him close. "Who's gonna do the cookin'? 'Cause I've seen how you've been eatin' and I ain't going back to eatin' out of boxes again."

That got a soft chuckle out of Harry. "I'll have to whip myself back into shape. And maybe start teaching you. Would you like to learn how to cook?" Harry thought that Eggsy might actually enjoy it. He always did linger around the kitchen and help with little things when Harry had been cooking for the both of them. He'd always seemed interested in what Harry was doing, and if he was sick of boxed dinners, he might even have the motivation to keep it up. 

"Yeah. I don't wanna have to order takeout every time you gotta go on missions or somethin'." Eggsy paused for a moment. "Have you ever had someone come to your house? Is that a thing I gotta worry about, that the bloke deliverin' pizza might be a rival spy or somethin'? I know you've got stuff all through the house just in case, but I also didn't know if you would've taken me in at the start if you'd thought someone would come huntin' for you here."

"No, that should not be a worry. And if it ever becomes one, I will let you know and we will likely move. I'm not going to risk anyone who might be a danger knowing you're here." Harry squeezed his arms a little tighter for reassurance. "So yes, you don't have to worry about pizza delivery or inviting friends over on occasion." Harry still remembered the awkward times they'd invited Michelle over for dinner when she still had hopes of seeing Eggsy. Eggsy hadn't known about Harry's work at the time, but he'd still had a thread of nervous tension with his mother in the same rooms where he and Harry had been intimate. 

"Or visitin' them? I want my own oyster card," Eggsy countered. "Since I can't drive yet. I don't wanna have to ask you for a few quid every time I wanna go somewhere. Do I get an allowance, or how's that gonna work?"

Harry snorted softly. "Get me all comfortable and relaxed and sneak up on me with requests, hm?" He brushed his finger over the tip of Eggsy's nose, but there was no heat in his words. "An oyster card won't be any trouble. You shouldn't have to worry about not having enough money for that. And yes, I think a weekly allowance is a good idea so you won't have to ask me for money. At least not unless it's for something special." Eggsy would also learn to save his money that way. Even though Harry didn't think he would have problems with spending, he didn't know how the last year or so had affected Eggsy's outlook on it. If anything, he suspected Eggsy might have trouble letting himself spend money, but they would soon find out. "I'd like to give you something reasonable, but not too little in case you take up any unexpected hobbies or make friends who have their own allowances." 

"I don't really know what reasonable is," Eggsy admitted. "I didn't get paid much, when I was workin'. Lot of the jobs I see older kids take don't seem to pay much, neither. Couple've quid an hour, so you pretty much use up a day's work just goin' to see a movie and getting some snacks. I don't need a ton of money, though. I don't really know what I'd do with it."

"Hm. Well what do you say we start somewhere and you can see how that goes? And if you don't use it, you can put it into savings until you do. I'd say maybe thirty pounds a week might be a good start, especially if you're going to meet any of the other children in the neighbourhood at some point." Harry caught Eggsy's eyes flashing up to him. "That should be enough to cover a film and snacks a few times over." Harry knew well that it wasn't just allowances the kids in the neighbourhood received, but special gifts and outings funded by their parents besides whatever their weekly income was. But it would take Eggsy time to get used to such a difference from the way he'd been living before. 

" _Thirty_ pounds a _week_?" Eggsy hadn't meant to exclaim so loudly, but he looked at Harry with wide eyes. Harry had certainly spent more on him in one go before, but that had been him spending his own money. The boy had still felt guilty about it, but it was Harry's choice. That much allowance per week, given to him without strings for him to do anything he wanted with, felt like untold extravagance.

Harry laughed. "I thought you might have that reaction, but that probably isn't far from what your peers will be getting, so you might as well get accustomed to it. And learn to save what you don't use." Harry did enjoy it when he could treat Eggsy, but letting Eggsy pay for things by himself would take away that look of part guilt, part resentment, and part revenge the boy sometimes got after he'd returned. Harry considered that more important. And it wasn't like he couldn't afford it. 

Saving was a novel concept for Eggsy, to some degree. When you never had any money, it seemed pointless to try to hoard it. It was going to slip through your fingers anyways, and then you didn't even have the small joys of sweets and other treats to brighten up life. Eggsy hadn't even been able to afford candy at the corner stores when growing up, much less think about squirreling away pence and pounds until he could get himself something nice. "I don't even know what I'd save for."

"Then by the time you find out, you won't have to worry about it." Harry rubbed Eggsy's shoulder. It felt good even though Eggsy didn't seem to know how to take it right now. And maybe that was why. Eggsy would find out, and it would be exciting to see the boy doing so on his own. Harry couldn't wait for Eggsy to be there every day and to watch him explore a fresh start. And speaking of.... "We should probably get cleaned up. Head back downstairs, or we're going to be at risk of sleeping the day away." 

"Yeah. I don't really want to do that. Not today anyways." That, too, was a luxury. The Wilsons, like all well-meaning parents, had been eager to always be going and doing, and seemed to expect Eggsy to do the same. Eggsy could appreciate the support and feeling backed up, but he'd missed being able to have lazy weekends where he could sleep in and do whatever he wanted all day. He hadn't had that when he'd been on the streets and it'd been disappointing to realize he wouldn't get a break at his new home.

Harry chuckled when Eggsy didn't move right away, so he lifted himself up and pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek before climbing out of bed to find his clothes. Harry started the shower and knew Eggsy would follow soon or risk missing Harry. Normally, a damp cloth would have been sufficient to clean up with, but Harry didn't want to risk it when Eggsy was still going back to the Wilsons. He took out two towels and left the door open in invitation as he stepped inside and lathered up the soap. 

It was a safe bet to make. Only a minute or two passed before Harry heard the bathroom door close. A small shadow drew close and then Eggsy slipped into the stall with Harry. The boy's eyes trailed over the soapy rivulets running down Harry's body. He reached out to touch one, tracing a mark that was still pink. "I don't remember that one from before."

"You wouldn't," Harry confirmed. "I haven't had it for long. Bit of a scratch while escaping a burning building in Turkey. It looks worse than it was. A few bandages and avoiding bending over for a week and I was good as new." Harry rinsed his hair and then let Eggsy have the water, deftly helping to rub the soap over the boy's skin. The welt was nowhere near the wounds he'd received when Eggsy found him being held at Belmont, and that was at least reassuring. 

"How come it never sounds like you have another agent with you? It always seems like it's just you and whoever is watchin' the cameras and helping you out from further away. Wouldn't it be less dangerous if you went as pairs, or somethin'?" Eggsy was disturbed that he hadn't noticed Harry coming back wounded, and that it'd taken him so long to realise.

"We sometimes do, but it usually works better for a cover if there is only one of us. Two or more can work if they can go in with a different enough cover story and connections. Our targets always check to see what connections we have and that can be troublesome if we only have route in." Harry watched Eggsy tilt his head back to soak his hair and let the water run over his face. His skin stood out creamier when his hair was darkened by the water. His mouth and eyelashes looked even more delicate. "There are occasions we've had female agents pretend to be the spouse of one of our male agents and that kind of ruse works well to get two in at a time. Sometimes junior staff follow along as assistants or business partners if the job is expected to go smoothly. It all depends on the situation." 

"I don't like you bein' out there by yourself. I know you can usually take care of yourself, but I also know that sometimes you can't." Like when Eggsy had found him. If not for that happenstance, Harry likely would have died there. Eggsy would have never known. He likely would have never gotten off the streets, hiding forever from a man who no longer existed.

"I know." Harry offered a small smile. "Just take comfort in that those times when I'm truly in danger are rare. Even though you've seen it happen." He knew that wasn't much comfort. Harry may have a very good track record of surviving difficult situations, which Eggsy had seen after living with him so long, but all it took was one bad mission. "And you know Merlin is usually the one who watches over me." Harry knew Eggsy trusted in the man's skill at what he did. 

"I'm not allowed to watch you when you're on missions, am I?" Being able to see for himself that Harry was alright was much more reassuring than simply trusting Merlin. Every time Harry left for a mission, Eggsy would worry until Harry came back and he could see for himself that he was hale and whole.

"No, not during. And I doubt you'd want to. You'd never leave the feed and you'd feel guilty if you did." Harry understood the sentiment, but in practice he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Eggsy might worry over him when he was away, but if he could see what Harry was doing it would only turn into active, constant worry. And he wouldn't be able to do anything, besides. "But you can call me. Or text. And I'll tell you what I'm up to and how it's going when I can." They'd done something similar when Eggsy had lived there before, although Harry had usually kept his mission details to a minimum back then. 

"I don't wanna distract you when you're out there, though. Maybe... I dunno, we can talk about how you can let me know when you're in one of those waiting periods you talked about, so I don't gotta worry if I'm tryin' to reach you at the wrong time. Yeah?" Eggsy swallowed down his disappointment at being turned down, and bitter jealousy bubbled to the surface. He had to guess and wait and hope, but Merlin got to watch and know.

Harry nodded. "I should be able to do something like that." He laid his hands over Eggsy's shoulders and squeezed, trying to ground Eggsy in the moment and the reality of Harry being there, safe and alive and capable of remaining that way. 

Once they were rinsed, Harry shut off the water and handed Eggsy a towel. They went through the rituals of drying themselves and putting on their clothes, finding missing socks and underwear and all. Harry helped dry Eggsy's hair and combed his own into place until they were looking as good as though nothing happened at all that afternoon.

Just as good, and they still had time yet. Eggsy lingered near Harry's touch, still conflicted by everything that had happened between them and the power balance, but feeling more confident than he had. He wouldn't be trapped or manipulated. Harry would respect his wishes and privacy, at least in his rooms and the bathroom. He'd have the funds for independence if he wanted; he could pool the extra weekly money and figure out what to do with it. Things would work out.

They spent the rest of the day talking over tea and biscuits while wrapped up in a comfortable embrace on the couch. Harry told Eggsy about his latest missions and Eggsy told Harry about the Wilsons and his thoughts on what living at Harry's again might be like. By the time Eggsy had to leave, the quiet sense of hope permeating the house still lingered, and Harry followed him to the door with a kiss on the cheek and a fond farewell for the time being. 

Harry had promised to call the Wilsons the following day to arrange a meeting, and Eggsy could expect some questions from them, but he wouldn't have to live with that guilt for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join us 12/9 and 12/10 for the Friday and Sturday chats at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	54. Chapter 54

Harry did make good on his promise. The following evening, thankfully after dinner, Donna received a call from Mr. Talbot who said he had some news to discuss with them and that Eggsy might have found a permanent guardian. Although he didn't say who it was just yet, they made plans to meet a few days later at Mr. Talbot's house after work and Eggsy's lessons. 

Eggsy was constantly stressed throughout. The Wilsons guessed, since they weren't immediately informed about their permanency, that Eggsy was being moved. When they asked him, Eggsy derailed any guesses that he might have known or interviewed the prospective guardian, but he always felt badly afterwards. He knew, but he didn't want the Wilsons to know and think less of him, or feel rejected. They'd done nothing wrong, after all, they simply weren't right for him.

True to Harry's predictions, the Wilsons didn't try to push much further than that for answers. Eggsy could tell that in spite of their desire to know, they also didn't want to make him feel bad, and so the days leading up to their meeting at Harry's house were filled with Donna and Kevin's usual kindness and activities, if with a subtle awkwardness underneath it all. 

It didn't seem to occur to them to ask why they might be visiting Harry's house to discuss when he usually came to theirs. Perhaps they hadn't noticed or perhaps they just didn't think it worth mentioning even on the short drive over. They assumed correctly that Eggsy had been there before at least once or twice, as they asked him to point it out for them after they parked across the street. 

The neighbourhood didn't look much different than their own - gated houses with tiny, fenced in properties and facings that all looked much alike. Space was at a premium in London, and even the affluent neighbourhoods fell prey to the discounts of mass manufacture. Eggsy waited by their side as everyone got out of the car, then pressed the buzzer at the gate to get it unlocked and let in.

Donna and Kevin seemed impressed at how quiet the mew was even with a busy street running right behind it, and Eggsy could tell they were a little surprised, too. Harry hadn't downplayed his accent and mannerisms too much in front of them, but he had kept to his more conservative suits and hadn't gone into detail about where he lived or how much he made compared to them. The Wilsons were probably re-evaluating their assessment of him somewhat as they knocked at his front door. 

Eggsy stayed nervously behind them, waiting for Harry to open the door and wave them all in as a group. Another official was with him, no doubt supplied by Kingsman to ensure things went exactly as planned. Eggsy shot Harry a tight smile as they filed in and were ushered into the living room he was more than familiar with, now set with a tray of tea and refreshments.

"Okay then." Harry straightened his shoulders and smiled in welcome to Eggsy and the Wilsons. "Thank you all for coming. I'm sure you have many questions, but first I should introduce you to Mr. Bancroft who is from the adoption agency taking care of Eggsy's case. I thought it appropriate that he should join us." 

Mr. Bancroft was a wisp of a man, elderly but spry looking and bespectacled with thin wire-framed glasses that made his eyes look too big and too round for his thin face. He also appeared to be somewhat soft-spoken when he shook Donna and Kevin's hands in greeting and then stepped back to let Harry do the talking. 

Harry, ever one for manners, bid them all to sit and have a cup of tea before they got started. He made sure everyone was as comfortable as could be, and even offered Eggsy one of his warm smiles, before turning to address Donna and Kevin directly. "So, as you know from our conversation on the phone, we've found someone interested in adopting our young Eggsy. I know this might be a bit of a surprise to you since you've had no word of it before, but I might be able to explain that." Harry paused, seeming a tiny bit embarrassed but a little bit hopeful all the same. It was remarkable how open his expression seemed, and how much his eyes conveyed the hope that they would listen. "You see...I am the one who would like to adopt Eggsy. Permanently." 

Eggsy ducked his head as his foster parents made the expected reactions of surprise. It wasn't unheard of for social workers to adopt, of course, but it was rare. Particularly in terms of their own clients, when they'd worked with them for years. A social worker could expect a good many cases that tugged at the heartstrings, but most kept their distance and worked hard to place them in an appropriate family.

It was apparent Donna and Kevin didn't know what to make of it right away. A myriad of emotions passed across their faces as they looked from Harry to Eggsy to each other and even to Mr. Bancroft. 

"You want to adopt Eggsy?" Donna finally asked, needing to hear it again.

"I know this is unorthodox," Harry explained, "but I've known Eggsy for a long time and I've been very careful to consider the logistics. I wouldn't be making the offer if I weren't absolutely sure." Harry turned his gaze from Eggsy to Donna and offered her a kind smile. "You've been a wonderful family. You've provided the safety and comfort that Eggsy hasn't had in a long time. I'd done what I thought I could before that, while still keeping a professional distance, but I...admit that I've always wanted to do more. Especially as I came to know him over time."

Eggsy didn't have to fake looking flustered. He blushed and scrubbed a hand through his hair when Donna turned to look at him. "I didn't know nothin' for sure until I got asked the other day what I'd think of it, if I'd be ok with it. Mr. Talbot _has_ known me for a really long time. Not like I ain't used to a single parent, either."

"Well I...." Donna floundered for the right words, but looking at Eggsy and his sheepish, but wide-eyed and quietly hopeful expression, she seemed to change tracks. "Have you had enough time to think about it?" 

"You know we want to do what's best for you," Kevin added, leaning forward to catch Eggsy's eye and reassure him, just to be sure he took Donna's question the right way. 

"Yeah. It's not really a huge surprise for me, 'cause Mr. Talbot asked me awhile back. Just to see if I was ok with the idea, before he went and talked to people about all of this, started paperwork, all of that. He wouldn't have done it if I hadn't thought about it and told him it was alright to look into." Eggsy's gaze dropped, even more embarrassed. He didn't like keeping secrets from people as nice as the Wilsons, or that they might think he'd been planning betrayal for so long.

It was pretty clear that Donna could see how nervous Eggsy was, and she nodded along with an expression of apparent understanding, although it might have been for Eggsy's sake. "And you'd be ok with it?" she asked, not breaking eye contact with the focus of someone who wanted to be absolutely sure. 

Harry let them have their moment. The others in the room faded to the background while Eggsy and the Wilsons faced each other. It wasn't his place to intervene in that. It was, after all, Eggsy's decision, at least in their minds if not the law. Even though the law held little sway with Harry.

"Yeah. I would. I didn't really know what to think, at the start, mostly 'cause it was such a surprise to even get asked that sort of thing." Eggsy shrugged, feeling awkward but steeling himself to meet his foster parents' eyes. They had to be convinced, and Eggsy wanted to do it as gently as he could. "I've known Mr. Talbot for a really long time. He's been lookin' after me for years and years. Ever since I was little. He's kinda been like... another dad, after I lost mine, so it's really not that weird for him to ask if I want him to really _be_ my dad now, I guess."

Donna nodded and turned back to Harry, expanding the room again to all participants. "This is definitely a surprise for us, but," she glanced to Kevin to be sure of their solidarity, "if Eggsy goes with anyone, it should be someone he knows and is happy with." 

"This is, admittedly, one of the reasons I warned you at the start that he might only be staying for a short time," Harry added. "I wasn't sure I'd be approved and I wanted to ask Eggsy without putting any extra pressure on his shoulders." Harry's gaze turned from Donna to Eggsy and their eyes caught. "It's important to have options in a decision as big as this one." 

"I didn't know at the start, neither," Eggsy protested. "I didn't know if I'd be stayin' with you, or goin' with him, or moved somewhere else. I don't want you thinkin' it's 'cause I don't like you, or you didn't do a good job, or I didn't give things a fair shake. I do like you both. I just also like Mr. Talbot, and I've known him so long."

"Oh, Eggsy." That seemed to snap Donna out of her initial stupor and she reached out to put an arm around his back, drawing him into a half hug on the couch. "It's ok, I didn't think that of you. Although I'm glad to hear it." She let him out of the embrace after a minute, but kept a hand gently planted on his arm. "I'm happy to hear it's a case of deciding between two good things. You haven't been in an easy position in all of this." 

"We really did enjoy having you with us," Kevin added, "But you know, we'll be happy for you, too. And you can always come by and visit. You know we're not far away." 

"I know, and that helps. It was hard to decide, it really was." Eggsy stayed close, giving Donna and Kevin both a wavering smile. He didn't have to fake the emotion. Few people in his life had been unwaveringly good and giving, and the Wilsons had done that even though they didn't know him. Even knowing they might not keep him. "I'll take you up on those visits."

They smiled back just as warmly, and Harry was struck that this was what a family was meant to be made of. Of all the best intentions and all the care in the world for someone they had no ulterior motives for taking in, even a boy they didn't yet know. And yet it didn't work out. Eggsy still wanted to be with him. Watching the three of them across the coffee table in that moment of honest appreciation was both charming and a touch unsettling. But Harry supposed he had solace in that Eggsy had made his choice, and they weren't it. Maybe that was why it was unsettling. 

"Alright then." Harry let those thoughts fall away. "Donna, Kevin, Mr. Bancroft will leave you with the appropriate forms to fill out, now that I'm not officially acting as Eggsy's case supervisor any longer. There's no rush. We'd just like them turned in before Eggsy makes the move. And that can happen any time. I don't want to impose to tight a schedule on you so soon. Perhaps over the next couple weeks." 

Donna nodded along as she often did when Harry spoke, even if her expression had a trace more seriousness in it than usual. "That'll give us plenty of time to pack up, I think. Thank you, Mr. Talbot." 

"Guess we'll talk about it. And my tutoring schedule, and all of that. Since I ain't in an official school, we don't really have a deadline for me to hit so I get enrolled on time." Eggsy didn't want things to be drawn out too long, but he also didn't want to push for a quick resolution. He didn't want to seem too eager, and besides, it would hurt Donna and Kevin's feelings to be abandoned in a rush.

"I'll talk to your tutor," Harry offered. "You should be able to take a short break for the move and then we'll figure out the rest from there." 

Mr. Bancroft reached into his suitcase for a folder of papers for the Wilsons to sign, explaining that he'd pointed out the parts they'd need to fill out and the rest they could ignore. Kevin took it to relieve his wife of the duty and thanked the man. 

"Well. What do you say you take the week to pack and then stop by next weekend?" Harry was just as eager for the move to happen and he knew Eggsy was as well, but just like the boy, he kept all hints of such out of his tone. 

"That should be fine," Donna said, glancing to Eggsy to make sure.

Eggsy nodded. That was quicker than he'd counted on, but he also didn't want to linger overlong. He only cared about not hurting his foster parents, and taking a bit of time to say goodbye to this portion of his life. More and more, life began to feel like a series of rooms, where every time he opened a door the one behind him closed. "Yeah, that should be okay. A week to pack, and to do stuff together."

"Okay, then." Harry stood first and the rest followed. Their tea cups had only been half drained, but there was not an atmosphere in the room to stay for pleasantries. Harry had made it clear what was going to happen and that was that. Donna and Kevin might have had their reservations. Had it been anyone else but Harry, they might have fought losing Eggsy, and they still seemed a little uncertain as they climbed to their feet and shook both Harry and Mr. Bancroft's hands, but they could not do much to voice them without sounding potentially contentious. 

"We'll see you soon, Mr. Talbot." Kevin said to Harry as they made their way to the door and Donna made sure Eggsy had his coat. 

Eggsy shrugged into it and followed them out. He was acutely aware of Harry behind him, even more so than Donna and Kevin flanking his sides. They stepped out into the cold air and, despite the way the walkway opened up to grey skies, Eggsy felt the world closing in. His chest constricted. He had a week. One week to pack, to resolve things, to deal with the awkwardness with the Wilsons and then he would be back in Harry's house. Harry wouldn't be a silhouette on his laptop screen, but a shadow haunting the hallways outside his bedroom.

Eggsy watched Harry on his doorstep, waving them goodbye, and knowing that soon he'd be back. Just like he'd been before, but also not at all. Harry with his secrets and machinations, all inside the house at the end of the mew and the practically faceless, nameless man at his side, ready to shape the law into his will. But Harry's warmth and love and stability was there, too. And all that he was willing to subdue for Eggsy's sake.

* * *

The week passed slowly at first, with the atmosphere at the Wilsons permeated with subtle sadness at the knowledge that Eggsy would be leaving. But after the first couple days, Donna first and Kevin after seemed to make a decision to be happy for Eggsy's sake and treat the change as a positive outcome for him. It was noticeable at dinnertime when Donna brought up Mr. Talbot and encouraged Eggsy to be excited for the move. In their quiet time before bed the night before, she told him not to worry about them getting on, and she seemed to mean it. 

When the weekend arrived, so did Eggsy and the Wilsons at Harry's doorstep once again, this time with boxes under their arms. 

Eggsy still didn't have much in the way of belongings. He'd learned to do without, partly, but he also had never completely shaken the feeling of needing to be ready to run at a moment's notice. Anything that couldn't be thrown in his backpack and come with him was, in a certain sense, disposable. Things weren't that important, and he knew he could get along without them.

Eggsy's heart was racing as they opened the fence gate and went up the walkway. In a certain sense, it didn't seem like this day would ever come again. He'd moved into Harry's with such a sense of hope and infatuation, then left in a haze of stark terror. It was strange to look up at the mild, normal exterior that he knew contained anything but normalcy and know that this would be _home_ again.

Home, but different this time. Home with his own space and his own decisions.

Kevin knocked at the door and the muffled sounds of Mr. Pickle barking could be heard before it opened a minute later, revealing Harry in a pressed shirt and cardigan, dressed down for the day, but all the more welcoming for it. "Eggsy, Donna, Kevin," he greeted warmly. "Come in, please, come in. You can put those boxes in the hall. We'll bring them up to Eggsy's room later." 

They followed him inside, and this time Donna and Kevin spent more time taking in the house as though unconsciously imagining Eggsy living there. 

Eggsy knew from experience that they'd find nothing out of place. Harry could look completely conventional when he wanted to. Odd, but no more than anyone else, with the same sort of quirks that people would expect of someone with means, particularly one who lived alone. The pinned and framed butterflies seemed right at home with the rest of the decor, and Mr. Pickle completed the image of a warm homebody who was completely harmless.

Eggsy looked around just as the Wilsons did, but he wasn't taking in the surroundings just as they did. He was trying to spot the cameras he knew were there, and wondering how many hidden weapons Harry might have within the nearest several meters.

"Would anyone like a cup of tea?" Harry asked after they deposited their boxes where he had showed them. 

"I'd love one, thanks," Donna peered curiously down the hall while Harry went into the kitchen. "So, Eggsy, which room is going to be yours?" she asked with that strange thread of excited trepidation she had managed to put away before they'd returned to Harry's. 

Harry returned with the tea before Eggsy could answer, apparently having it all ready to go and waiting for them. 

"Upstairs. Got a big room to myself, next to the bathroom and Harry's home office." Eggsy accepted a mug and settled onto the couch, which left the Wilsons no choice but to take seats themselves. "It's not really decorated yet, but Harry told me I can _pretty_ much do whatever I want with it. He's still gotta ok it, but I don't think there's anything I'd wanna do he would say no to."

Eggsy raised his mug and took a long sip. "I don't know yet where we're gonna set up for the tutor, though. It's easier to go through stuff with a proper table, so maybe in the dining room?"

"That seems like the best option for now," Harry agreed, following the Wilsons to take a seat across from them. "I wouldn't mind showing you around if you'd like." Eggsy might have wanted to keep them in a relatively safe space, but Harry did not intend to let them feel like he was hiding anything. 

"Yes I'd like that," Donna said, but took a sip of her tea and implied she was fine with waiting until they were finished. "Did we get all the boxes?" she turned to ask Kevin, who nodded.

"Eggsy packs light," Kevin said and sipped his tea as well. 

"Yeah. Guess it's just... holdover from movin' so often, y'know? I didn't have a lot of stuff of my own at foster care or some of the places I got put." Eggsy shrugged. "Didn't seem much point if I couldn't afford stuff, couldn't take much with me, shouldn't bother unpackin', and one of the other kids might steal or destroy stuff anyways. It's still weird to me that I've got my own _computer_. That I don't gotta walk and walk to a library to look stuff up or type papers."

A smile twitched at the corner of Harry's mouth, but to everyone but Eggsy it seemed like he was happy, maybe even proud to have provided that for Eggsy. "No matter. You'll collect more as you go. Already you have more than you started with." Harry meant before he came to the Wilsons', and that was true at least. Most of what he owned now was clothing and a few personal items. 

They all nodded and sipped their tea in quiet for a few minutes, each waiting for someone else to continue the conversation. It was Harry who did. "I've let Eggsy's tutor know he'll be out for a few days and to contact me going forward, so you needn't worry over it. I don't think there are many logistics left to worry over, in fact, but you're welcome to give us a call at any time. We'd be happy to have you over." Hopefully it wasn't an offer Harry would have to fulfil very often.

"Yeah, we ain't too far. Not too far from the park, too." Eggsy clutched his mug and shifted. The longer the Wilsons lingered, the more awkward it was. Eggsy didn't want to tell them to leave, but he also was ready to be done. The week had dragged on with enough awkwardness and tension already, and it was only delaying the inevitable goodbye. 

"You have a very nice location here," Kevin said, politely. And it was true that Harry was even closer to the park than the Wilsons were. 

After a few more sips of tea and Donna and Kevin's attention floating across different objects around the room, Harry finally put an end to the awkwardness. "Come, let's have that tour. Maybe we can bring a few of the boxes up to Eggsy's room." He stood and they followed, setting down their tea and seemingly relieved to have something to do. 

Kevin and Harry picked up some of the boxes from the hall and Harry led them to the stairway. "Up this way." 

Eggsy did his best to pretend that most of the house was new to him, too. He was supposed to have known Harry for some time, but as a social worker, not as a regular guest at his private home. It would have been unlikely for him to be familiar with much of the upper level of the house beyond the bathroom and glimpses of rooms caught from open doorways. The box in his own arms felt protective as he followed Harry into his old bedroom.

"This is it. And you'll have a view of the garden in the back, too," Harry said as he sat the box down on the floor and showed Kevin and Donna out the window. 

The room hadn't changed much at all from the way it had always been decorated, a second version of Harry's room with less personal touches and a quality of being ever ready but rarely used. Everything was nice and neat and waiting for someone to take over the space. 

"Very nice, Eggsy." Donna looked around the room and then turned to give him a smile while Kevin nodded in approval. 

"Do I get to paint the walls and put up posters?" Eggsy peered out the window, taking in the garden he'd seen many, many times. When the boxes were put down, Eggsy's belongings looked pitifully small. Another child would have had much more to fill up the room, but even with Eggsy's belongings, the room was likely to look like a hotel room or impersonal guest room for some time until he acquired more of his own things.

Harry chuckled. "This room could use a touch of character. And it is yours." He laid a hand over Eggsy's shoulder in passing, a familiar, amiable touch that looked no more out of place than anything else about Harry. "Come, I'll show you the back." 

The Wilsons followed dutifully as Harry led them back down the stairs and through the house. He was doing it to ease their minds, so that they would feel comfortable leaving Eggsy in a good home, and they all knew it. But it was the polite thing to do and so Harry did it without complaint. 

"I used to keep the garden much better in the summer than I do now," Harry apologized as he let them out into the chilly air. It still looked quite nice and there was plenty of space, relatively speaking for this part of the neighbourhood. Although the flowers weren't in season, the ivy was still fairly impressive and the Wilsons took it all in with approval. 

"Looks like you'll be well taken care of, Eggsy." Donna said with a certain note of finality, albeit a positive one. Harry had shown them just enough to put their minds at ease for now. 

"Yeah. I think it's gonna be great. 'Specially since I've known Harry so long. It's still gonna take me a while to get used to, though," he added. "Like... you not bein' my social worker anymore. Or that I'm not goin' to end up movin' again in a couple of months. All sorts of things."

Eggsy turned and walked towards Donna, pulling her into a hug while Kevin looked on. "I'm gonna miss you both."

She hugged him back just as tight. "I'm going to miss you, too." She kept her voice from wavering, but the sincerity was clear. When Eggsy looked up, she smiled down at him and then drew back to let Kevin give him a hug as well. 

"It was great having you with us. And remember, you can always come over and say hi." Kevin bent to pull Eggsy into a hug and ruffle his hair. 

Harry watched behind the Wilsons, respectful of their moment. 

"Yeah, thanks. I will." Eggsy smiled back and, after a beat, they all moved towards the front door. It was time, and they all sensed it. Nothing was left to be said, and Eggsy would want to unpack and get settled. Delaying any more wouldn't erase the finality of the moment. "Thanks. For everythin'. I mean it, it was great stayin' with you."

"We're glad you thought so," Donna told him as they paused for a moment, taking in Eggsy one last time before parting ways. Donna took a deep breath and smiled. It may have been forced, but Eggsy could tell she was happy for him all the same, even if she didn't want to let him go. "We'll see you again, maybe sometime soon." 

When they were ready, Harry opened the door and bid them goodbye. He drew Eggsy to his side and they both waved as the Wilsons departed down the mew. 

Eggsy heaved a sigh of relief after the door closed and left them alone in the quiet of the house. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. "That took a lot longer than I wanted. Lot more awkward, too. I mean, I get it. I knew they really hoped they'd get to adopt me, but stickin' around more isn't gonna change my mind about it."

Harry gave him a smile and massaged his shoulder. "I know. It's good to have you here now though. And they'll feel more at ease this way, having had a bit of time to say goodbye." It was strange that the two of them were standing there in the hall, once more officially living together. It was also strange in its familiarity. "Are you tired?" Harry asked. "Want to relax for a while, or unpack?" 

Eggsy groaned and pressed his palms to his eyes. "I don't wanna touch boxes for a while. I just want to relax. I've been tiptoeing around their feelings all week and I'm not really sleepy, but I'm tired just the same. In a different way." Eggsy considered the bed in the room they'd just toured, and digging out his computer, but even that idea felt tiring. "I think I just wanna watch a movie for a bit and stop thinkin'."

"Alright then. What do you say you go put something on and I make us some mac and cheese?" Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder before letting go and heading to the kitchen. He knew it was one of Eggsy's comfort foods, and even he had developed a taste for it after living with Eggsy for a time. It was funny how Harry was already falling into a different mindset now that Eggsy was there, one that involved cooking again. 

Eggsy went off to the living room without complaint. The home theatre system was just like he remembered, and it didn't take him long to turn everything on and start leafing through the available movies. Eventually he decided on something indulgent, if a little older. He'd had fond memories of watching Terminator 2 before, and it held a different sort of meaning for him now after all he'd been through, being hunted by people he'd felt were invincible.

While Eggsy started the film and got comfortable on the couch, Harry puttered around the kitchen. He heated water on the stove and leaned against the counter to wait for it to boil. These first minutes of Eggsy being back were strange, and Harry wondered it Eggsy felt the same. He'd been to Harry's house many times since he'd been living with the Wilsons, but now he was there to stay. And Harry wasn't sure yet how much space he'd need. 

Once lunch was ready, Harry took the tray of mac and cheese and melted butter on toast to the living room and set it down on the coffee table. "Would you like me to stay?" Harry asked. "I've got some work I can be doing upstairs if you'd rather relax by yourself."

"Nah, don't go. Not if you don't have to. I just..." Eggsy shrugged, glancing about and taking in the whole of the place, Harry included. "I need to get used to things again. I don't wanna talk any more, though. I've had enough of all that for the day, so... You can watch with me if you feel like it, or go work on stuff. I'm not gonna be doin' much for the rest of the day, 'cept maybe cleanin' up and unpackin' a bit in a while."

Harry relaxed a little. "Okay." He took his own bowl and settled down next to Eggsy. The film went on and even though this was new again, and a little awkward for it, it wasn't wholly uncomfortable. It was familiar, too. Harry didn't press any closer, he didn't move an arm over Eggsy's shoulders or draw the boy against him, but he didn't shy away from touch when they brushed together setting their bowls back down on the tray either. All in all, it proved to be more comfortable than it could have been, and Harry was glad of it. He just hoped Eggsy felt the same. 

Eventually, Eggsy relaxed more than he already was. The action on the screen was the mindless sort Hollywood specialized in, and he could sink into it without thinking too much. Harry's body and shoulder were right there, warm and solid and comfortable, and gradually Eggsy shifted to lean against him instead of the arm of the couch.

Harry wouldn't have ascribed anything more to their lunch except for noticing Eggsy's choice of movie - a much younger boy being shadowed and protected from terror by an unstoppable, invincible cyborg who looked for all intents and purposes like an older human man.

Harry let himself sink into the couch and welcomed Eggsy's body leaning into his. Both that and the film were great comforts, but he didn't feel the need to push for more. This was good enough. Right now, it was all he wanted. They forgot to be conscious of the newness of Eggsy being there, forgot about the subtle uncertainty they'd both felt, and by the time the film finished, Harry was pretty sure Eggsy was just as relaxed as he was. 

He reached over and squeezed Eggsy's forearm affectionately before collecting their dishes and climbing to his feet. 

Eggsy stayed, eyes half lidded and slumped over on the plush support of the couch cushions. His stomach was full of familiar food, not the food of a stranger. The room was familiar. The couch was familiar. Even the faint scent clinging to the surroundings was familiar. Each house had its own scent, coloured by the inhabitants who lived there. He could smell Harry in the fabric and carpet and walls, warm masculinity and the ghost of his cologne sunken into the atoms of the building.

The clatter of dishes came from the kitchen and Eggsy was left alone for a few minutes before Harry's footsteps returned and a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, squeezing and then stroking down his back when Eggsy didn't move right away. Harry's hand disappeared and he stepped to the side, but then Eggsy felt something soft brush his leg and trail up over his side and shoulder. 

Harry draped one of the throw blankets over him and tucked it in snugly. Eggsy looked younger than his years, just like the first days he'd been there. The first of countless times he'd fallen asleep on the very same couch. 

Eggsy didn't stir. He must have been tired enough to not notice sound or movement around him, or to feel safe enough to disregard it. He stayed unconscious, tucked into layers of warmth and illuminated under the warm incandescent light of the den. The dim room lighting illuminated Eggsy's youthful face in smooth planes as Harry paused in the doorway, completing the picture.

That moment would remain in Harry's mind for a long time. He could tell even as he climbed the stairs to get back to his office and let Eggsy rest. The boy had had more than a long day. He'd had a long week. He'd had even longer than that, really, and Harry wondered if, for the first time in a long time, Eggsy might get the rest he needed. 

Fresh starts were in the back of Harry's mind as he logged into his computer and got to work, this time doing exactly what he'd said he would be doing. This time leaving the cameras be, minus the ones in his office and his bedroom. 

Eggsy slept for hours. He must have been exhausted, as it was only much later in the night that Harry heard footsteps on the stairs and saw a small shadow pass outside his office doorway. The toilet light clicked on, bringing a brief dim yellow, and it narrowed into a sliver before disappearing. Water rushed through the pipes, and Harry could hear the distant spray against tile and skin for minutes and minutes before it ceased. The small sounds of occupation kept up - the tap of plastic against the sink, the brief hiss from the bathroom sink tap, the thrum of a toilet flushing, the snik of a metal door handle turning.

In the distance, faintly, Harry listened to small footsteps move towards Eggsy's room and the door shut. Even more faintly, he heard the depression of bed springs.

Harry wondered if Eggsy would be up all night now or if he was still tired enough to sleep. It would have been so easy before, to look in on Eggsy in the shower or now that he was in bed, although he would have been in Harry's bed back then. And though Harry wondered and wanted Eggsy to be ok even if he stayed up late into the night, later than Harry even, Harry wasn't very tempted to break his promise and use the cameras. He shut down his work for the night and headed down to the kitchen, resolving to leave a bowl of fruit and snacks clearly visible for Eggsy if he came down hungry. 

No sound came from the boy's bedroom, and when Harry went back up to the hallway, no light was escaping from the crack below the closed door. Evidently he was tired enough to sleep even after a long nap, skipping supper to clean up and take a turn resting in the fresh sheets of his own bed. Harry could picture what it must look like even without the cameras, but the sight didn't matter. It was the feeling in the whole house. He wasn't alone. Eggsy was there again.

He turned out the lights one by one and readied himself for bed, too. When he laid down in his own room, knowing Eggsy was across the hall in a bed of his own...it wasn't so bad. Harry laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling, finding immeasurable comfort in the simple knowledge that Eggsy was there. He was almost surprised by the feeling, or rather, how much he didn't feel the amount of space between them. 

He set his alarm even though it was the weekend, and drifted off to thoughts of waking up early to make breakfast.

* * *

Eggsy slept more soundly than he had in a while. He had expected the house to feel more alien than it had, but his exhaustion had taken over him on the couch, and later it had felt perfectly natural to shower and dress in his pyjamas, then slide under the covers into the bed in his new room. Or old room, albeit the one he'd never slept in. It should have felt as odd as a hotel room, sterile and unfamiliar and making him feel more alone and out of place, but it didn't. Even when he woke up to the faint sunlight escaping through the bedroom curtains, it didn't.

As soon as he stretched and yawned, taking a deep breath, he could smell the scent of pancakes. Possibly even bacon. When Eggsy climbed out of bed and opened his door, the smell grew stronger and he could hear faint sounds of Harry in the kitchen. The lights weren't on in the hall, but the toilet still held a warm, misty air of the shower having been recently used. Harry must not have been up for long, but he'd gone straight back to his former morning routine. 

Eggsy felt comforted. Not even necessarily by the domesticity of it all, like living in a fancy hotel with room service and a complimentary fresh breakfast. Harry had chosen to get up early and cook breakfast, unasked. It was a change from what Eggsy had watched on the cameras, with him wasting away and taking liquid meals or frozen ones, or ones out of a box and cellophane wrappers. Eggsy washed his face and came down the stairs draped in his old bath robe, found on its old hook.

When he came around the kitchen doorway, Harry looked up from the tea kettle where he was pouring water and smiled. "Just in time. Breakfast is almost ready." Harry wasn't fully dressed either. Eggsy was familiar with his robe and slippers, but the particular pair of pyjamas he wore underneath might have been new. He pulled two mugs down from the cupboard and went to check on the bacon, leaving Eggsy to do as he pleased. 

For a few moments Eggsy just stood there, absorbing the sights and smells and sounds. It was one of the things that had originally endeared Harry to him - the difference between digging out stale cereal from between liquor bottles and filling his bowl with tap water because they were out of milk, and waking up to a warm, fresh breakfast and an equally warm smile. 

Harry was so different from the grieving shadow he'd watched for weeks. Eggsy moved forward slowly and eventually sank into a chair at the kitchen table, but he didn't take his eyes off the older man.

Harry left him to it. He moved around the kitchen, flipping a few more pancakes, and then stacking up their plates before he finished up and brought everything to the table. A tall stack of pancakes was placed at the centre, next to their glasses of milk and a plate of bacon and oranges for Eggsy to load his own plate up with while Harry settled in and did the same. 

"Did you sleep ok?" Harry asked when their plates had been sufficiently filled. 

"Yeah. Better'n I have for a while." Eggsy didn't have to say that he'd been worried, or all the things he'd worried about. Harry knew. He knew why, but not that Eggsy would have felt better in the house, or why. "You sleep ok? You seem up kinda early."

Harry nodded. He smiled and looked to his plate, a mannerism Harry didn't usually have. "I did. I wanted to make breakfast. It.... It's nice, just having you in the house." He poured maple syrup over his pancakes so he didn't have to see Eggsy looking at him intently, even though he could out of the corner of his eye. Then he sliced into one and took a bite. Harry paused, savouring the taste. "I think I missed pancakes."

"Probably. You haven't had 'em in a while, huh." Eggsy didn't need to ask. He knew well enough that Harry had been neglecting himself. Eggsy wasn't even certain he'd eaten breakfast most days. "Anythin' interesting going on? Or not really? I've got a couple days until I gotta go back to school work, but I didn't know if that meant you were off too."

"I took the next couple days off, but I don't have anything in particular planned other than helping you settle in. Although we should talk about your school work." Harry took a few slices of bacon as he spoke. "Keeping your current tutor is an option, but you'll want to be certain that you're comfortable with him visiting you here. That should be fine so long as you aren't nervous about it. I know it felt somewhat awkward to have the Wilsons here, and that might create a similar feeling. If so, we might look into finding another tutor or enrolling you in class again with catch-up work on the side."

"I guess I'm just nervous about whether or not he might notice anything. It should be fine if we're careful, just... he's seen what I was like when livin' with the Wilsons. I know I'm gonna be different when I'm here, but I don't know what he'll think about that." Eggsy cut his pancakes into large forkfuls and began inhaling food like he'd used to - perhaps a sign that he was hungry and growing, or that he'd missed Harry's cooking. "I gotta unpack, but that's not gonna take very long. I dunno. Might be nice to get out and go someplace, since I haven't really had much chance to lately."

"Sounds good to me." Harry looked on with fondness. "Anywhere in particular you've been wanting to go?" Harry thought back to the London Eye. They'd had a turning point there, but it had been an enjoyable experience besides. Even if all their outings weren't quite like that, Harry was looking forward to going places with Eggsy again. He also wasn't sure what he'd collected living at the Wilsons' and whether Eggsy would need more clothes or like to get things for his room now that he had one with explicit permission to change as he saw fit. 'Is there any shopping you need done?"

"I thought about the museum, actually. I haven't been in a while. My mum was always workin' and the only times I got to go were school trips. Which wasn't the greatest, because you had to run around doing worksheets while you were there. And... I mean, maybe I'll want to go shopping at some point, but I have no idea what I'd even get. I'm fine on clothes, I've got a computer and my phone." Eggsy thought for a minute. The notion of having money to purchase things for himself, and _asking_ for things, was still alien even though he'd had periods that weren't impoverished when living with Harry and his foster parents. "Snacks and things, I guess. Since I'll be around all the time now, and all. I'd like to do stuff with my room but I don't know what yet."

Harry gave a nod. "No need to do it all at once. And anyway, I would like to go to the museum. Are you thinking Science or Natural History?" Harry hadn't been to either in ages, but conveniently they were both right next to each other and not far at all. They'd do better to walk and not worry about parking, even if it was chilly outside. "I'm surprised we haven't gone before, now that you mention it." Arcades, comic book stores, and the cinema had been Eggsy’s favourite places to go when he'd lived with Harry, and occasionally they did other things like visit the park or shopping malls, but somehow they'd never found the time to visit the museums. 

"Natural history, I think. Nobody can tell me they don't like dinosaurs." Eggsy smirked before grabbing a few more strips of bacon. "Bet you'll enjoy it, too. They probably have some butterfly exhibit. What's the deal with those, anyways? I still don’t get why you like 'em so much. Posh people seem to go much more for stuffed pheasants and deer heads and such, and not so much for dead bugs behind glass."

"I have _tried_ to tell you before," Harry bemoaned, playing it up a little. "But I think they are...quite beautiful. Even though they're dead and pinned to the wall. I will grant you that it's a little morbid, but it doesn't take away their beauty. I think, anyway. It's just something I enjoy collecting." He twirled his fork between his fingers as he thought, watching Eggsy licking bacon grease from his thumb. "I've always wondered if you would enjoy collecting something someday. Not that I want to get you started if you're not interested. It's one of those things you only realise you're doing after you've already gathered an assortment."

Eggsy turned strangely thoughtful and quiet for a moment. Thoughts drifted through his head about his old stash beneath his bed - how precious a few stolen knick-knacks and magazines had been to him at the time. "Yeah, maybe someday. Don't think I've found the right thing yet, though. I used to grab stuff, but that was 'cause I didn't have nothing."

"Ah yes. That would be a strong incentive for one to hold onto things, even if it's a slightly different compulsion." Harry noticed that Eggsy had changed that habit over the years. He'd trained himself not to be so attached to things, even if he did take care of the possessions he did have. This, as with many things about Eggsy's habits, his wants and his outlook on the future, Harry was curious to see develop over time. If it developed over time. Harry finished his glass of milk, watching Eggsy while trying not to be too invasive about it. It was still such a novelty having him sitting just across the table. 

"Might be neat to have stuff from around the world, if I ever end up travelin' as much as you do. Bit like havin' a museum in your house." Eggsy speared up the last few pieces of pancake off his plate. "Always seems so weird to me that the world is so big. There's so many people in London, so much stuff, it always felt to me like there wasn't really anywhere else. India and Pakistan couldn't be so far, 'cause you had neighbours from there right next door and could nip down the street for any kind of food you wanted. I never really got how big everythin' was until you took me on some trips."

Harry smiled. "Just imagine how big it would feel if you had to wait months to travel by train, or by ship." The truth was that Harry hadn't felt like the world was very big in a long time. He flew from one destination to the next around and around the globe like it was nothing. Kingsman knew and interacted with the same organized crime all over the world. New alliances popped up, new people came and went, but it started seeming all the same to Harry after a certain point. Most of the time he could go into a new situation and feel like he knew what to expect, but seeing all that through Eggsy's eyes, travelling with Eggsy...that was something new entirely. When they'd gone on holiday together, watching Eggsy explore was Harry's favourite thing to do. 

"I don't think I could deal with that. Even sittin' on a plane for hours was boring, and that was with it zippin' along at however many kilometres an hour. I can't even imagine how people dealt with things like what they told us in school, walkin' the whole way with wagons and such to trade. You couldn't even trade food that far or it'd go rotten." Eggsy finished off his glass of milk and sat back. "Guess it's just weird to think about how big things really are and how different stuff would have been."

Eggsy's eyes lit up, and he shot Harry a crooked smile. "Good for you it ain't some other time. Instead of having all these fancy gadgets, workin' as a spy would have meant you runnin' like mad to try to deliver information, like that one Greek bloke."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Greek bloke? You're not thinking of Hermes, are you? I'll have you know, I am more than a glorified messenger." Harry levelled his fork at the boy, managing to look just dour enough to be playful. A little part of him was glad to see Eggsy still had an interest in history, still liked learning, even if he'd been forced to catch up over the past few months. 

"No, that runner guy who spied on some enemy army and ran until he basically killed himself to get the news out to _his_ people's army. I don't think you'd like that sort of job nearly as much. I wouldn't either, since I like havin' you around after your jobs get done." Eggsy thought for a moment. "D'you like right now? How things are with technology and everythin', I mean. Or would you have wanted to live sometime in the past?"

"Oh no, I would not want to live in the past...," Harry brought himself up short. "Well. Perhaps I would have appreciated some things a great deal more than the present. If you and I had lived in the times of Ancient Greece, we wouldn't have had to hide our relationship." Harry offered the boy a subdued smile, knowing that if that had been the case, he would have never needed to do what he'd done to Eggsy in the way of manipulation and secrecy. "Although there would be drawbacks in other areas. I'd still be expected to start a family someday and so would you. But in any case, I am quite happy with the technology available to me these days, and that would be very difficult to give up."

"Is that something you ever wanted? Havin' a family? I know it would've been hard, what with the things you like and bein' a spy and all that, but some of the other people in Kingsman seem to do fine with it. Or are you not really a family sort of person?" Eggsy wasn't even sure about himself. He didn't mind kids, but all his assumptions in childhood had evaporated the moment he'd realized he was gay. From what he could tell, not only could gay people not get married, they couldn't even adopt if they wanted to. Not if they were living as a couple.

"No, I'm definitely not the family type. Never wanted one of my own, except...," Harry put down his fork, plate cleaned, and took in Eggsy watching him curiously, "except what I'd had with you." Harry shrugged, keeping the mood light. "Granted, I am not your father and I've never tried to be. But I'd wanted...a different type of love, and living, and it worked for a time. When there weren't complications. I think that is the closest thing to family that I want." Harry pushed his plate back and regarded the boy watching him, knowing Eggsy would have yet to decide all this for himself. 

"I'm glad you ain't my father, otherwise things would be _awkward_ ," Eggsy quipped, trying to diffuse the small bit of tension that had built up between them. "You're right though. It was nice, before... y'know. Me findin' out everythin'. I wouldn't have thought about comin' back here if I didn't remember the good times and think things were different now."

Harry's face split into a wry grin. "Well I'm glad you did. Now, if you want to take some time and unpack, go ahead. I still need to get dressed and then we can see about visiting that museum." Harry took a moment to enjoy Eggsy just sitting there, being optimistic, before he stretched and stood, gathering plates and squeezing the boy's shoulder on his way to the kitchen. Harry wouldn't be able to stop some of those small touches, he realised, but on the other hand as long as it wasn't too invasive, he had the suspicion that Eggsy might not want them to stop. 

Eggsy helped carry things into the kitchen before he took off. Harry listened to the sound of footsteps going up the stairs - a sound he'd missed dearly, more so as every time afterwards he didn't know whether or not it would be the last time he heard it, only temporarily restored to him. Now there would be more instances to look forward to. Eggsy wasn't simply going upstairs to review mission footage again, he was going to the room he'd claimed as his own. The room he'd _wanted_.

Harry followed up the stairs to his own room. He didn't bother shutting the door all the way as he dressed for the day. It was a small intimacy Harry wanted to keep, and there seemed to be no need. Eggsy had not asked that they pretend their relationship wasn't intimate until Eggsy wanted it to be, and for that Harry was grateful. He chose a lighter suit, and one of his more casual styles, something he could wear underneath his heavy coat while they were outside and not feel overheated in while walking inside. 

Once finished, Harry went to his office checked his messages from work while listening to Eggsy move about his room, the sounds of drawers opening and closing followed by footsteps back and forth. 

The sound of boxes being unpacked, as well. One more reminder that this was real. Eggsy was staying.

When Eggsy's bedroom door finally opened, he came out dressed in the way he normally favoured - jeans, a shirt layered under one of the several hoodies he now had in his possession, and thick socks that made his sneakers even more comfortable than they normally were. Eggsy had added a cap to the outfit, the brim of which didn't really shade his face so much as frame it. "You ready?"

Harry looked up from his computer. Eggsy looked like himself again, and relaxed in his own clothing and not trying to hide it. And he looked _good_. 

"Ready," Harry said, getting up and joining the boy in the hall. "You look set to go. You'll need to bring your coat though. We'll be walking." Harry followed Eggsy down the stairs and grabbed his keys and wallet before they bundled up and set off for the day. Walking down the street with Eggsy didn't feel as strange and new as having him in the house, but it was no less exciting. 

The air was crisp, but not too cold. Still, Eggsy kept his hands jammed into his pockets to keep them warm. "Y'know, I always wondered who all these people were, runnin' around during the day in the work week. I saw all kinds of people when I was playin' delivery boy. They can't _all_ be rich or retired. I guess it was just weird to me that most everyone is working and there are still tons of people around."

Harry shrugged. "It varies greatly, I'm sure, but a lot of people don't have the standard nine to five schedules even if they don't do what I do for a living." Harry didn't mention that a lot of the people Eggsy saw might have been between jobs or preferred less reputable vocations. "And a lot of them are simply out on their lunch break." 

They turned from one busy street onto the next, then across until they reached the line of trees that flanked the museum's wildlife garden. 

"I guess. I just wondered. They couldn't _all_ be like the sort of people I used to deliver to." Eggsy looked up as the museum building began to loom larger and larger in front of them, beyond the trees. "Y'know, I remember thinkin' the first time I was here that it didn't really look like a museum. More like some kind of cathedral that got sold and changed over at some point. Or some university library."

"You know, I've thought the same thing myself a few times. And I think it grew on me. Most other museums I've seen are all very modern." Harry held the door for Eggsy and they walked up to the admission line. Fortunately, the place didn't seem quite as packed as it might have during the summer, although, judging by the matching coloured shirts, there were several school groups waiting in line with them. It didn't take long before they had their tickets and maps in hand and were set to wander or wait for one of the tours. 

"Where should we go first, d'you think? Start with the dinosaurs, or mammals?" Eggsy flipped through his guide map, then started to laugh. He nudged Harry with his elbow. "Look at that, I was right. They _do_ got butterflies, up in the Treasure Gallery. Guess we better go see that at some point."

"Lucky me. I wonder if any are available for purchase," Harry chuckled. "Why don't we see the dinosaurs first? We don't have to save the best things for last." 

They followed their maps to a section of large halls with equally large skeletons displayed upon platforms. Eggsy had been right to compare it to a cathedral, Harry thought, with the stone archways for visitors to walk through not nearly as tall as the first dinosaur skeleton they stopped beside and the arches overhead far higher. The murmur of voices echoed through the hall, varying between the soft thrum of adults and the occasional higher outburst from a child. 

Eggsy was surprisingly excited, and he didn't bother hiding it. Either the boy hadn't yet started adopting the aloofness that some pre-teens did in order to seem cooler and more mature, or Eggsy didn't feel any peer pressure to put on such an act with Harry. Or, more likely, Harry already took him as serious and mature and respected, so there was no need to aggressively play up a child's idea of disdainful adult maturity in order to be treated with an adult's respect.

A tug on Harry's sleeve drew his attention towards the specimen Eggsy was pointing at. "Hell, the teeth on that would make me think twice about ever goin' swimmin' again if I didn't know all these were extinct."

Harry laughed. "I think this one could swallow you in one go, no need for any chewing." Then Eggsy was pulling him along to another, and Harry realised what he enjoyed about this most was Eggsy's ability to let him let go and laugh along. He was doing it without thought. Every time Eggsy made a comment or read from a placard, Harry had a quip right back. And Harry got to enjoy it, too. He knew very little about dinosaurs, but with Eggsy by his side, they became infinitely more interesting.   
They ended up in front of the famous T. Rex display and Harry read from his guide. "This is apparently the first T. Rex fossil ever found."

"I heard, back when they first started finding stuff like this, they had no idea how to put the skeletons back together, so they guessed a lot. And later on ended up finding out they'd put a bunch of things in the wrong places." Eggsy peered up, marvelling at how big even the skeleton's leg bones were. "Any idea why stuff all started out so _big_ and then ended up gettin' smaller and smaller as time went on? Like, even fossils of old crocodiles and sharks and mammals are all huge compared to ones now."

"That would be a question for the guides, I think. I vaguely remember something about the way dinosaurs went extinct, how might have had something to do with it, and there certainly were many small animals and insects living at the same time they did." Harry strolled around the impressive figure, imagining what it might look like with muscle and tissue and _alive_. When he imagined how fast a creature like that might move, in spite of its size, it was difficult not to think of Eggsy first, the boy being so small.... Harry marvelled a little at the way his protective side reared up so easily in Eggsy's presence. 

"You think something like Jurassic Park could ever really happen? Like, I like the idea of having dinosaurs again, but only some of them. I'm not really big on all the creepy ones in the water. Sharks are bad enough," Eggsy shuddered. "At least you can _see_ sharks. Those ones with the snakelike necks? I bet you wouldn't even see it coming. It'd be swimming down somewhere below and just stretch up to eat you whenever it felt hungry. Like some sorta nightmare sea giraffe."

"I'm sure there's all sorts of things to be said about what an invasive species that lived that long ago would do to the balance of today's wildlife, but none of it sounds very pleasant," Harry said as they passed underneath a blue whale, scaled to life size. They strolled through the amphibians and reptiles section, and then some mammals, and even human biology. Eggsy was interested in everything, and they stopped at every exhibit they passed. 

Thankfully, unpleasant experiences with the school system hadn't dampened Eggsy's enthusiasm to learn, although like all children he would have rolled his eyes and become displeased if their outing was framed as 'educational'. The boy was smart, and he had an eye for details. Once Eggsy caught up on his education, it was likely he'd do very well and go very far indeed, and keen observational skills would be an asset for any number of things Eggsy might choose to do with his life. Harry watched, looking for clues, but Eggsy seemed to enjoy everything, even the more cryptic geology exhibit.

It was heartening to see. One of Harry's greatest fears was that Eggsy would lose those interests that had seemed so innate to him before, but as the hours passed and they moved from one side of the building to the other, stopping by the cafe for lunch along the way, Harry's fears were quietly put to rest. 

They spent the whole day wandering the museum. Eggsy would have even gone next door to the Science Museum if there had been enough time, but Harry assured him they'd visit again soon. They had plenty of days ahead of them now, and Eggsy could go whenever he wanted to. And someday with his allowance, he'd be able to go to these places with friends. Harry just hoped he'd get the honour for a little while longer yet.

The change in Eggsy's mood was palpable, as well. Harry thought he might be projecting his hopes at first, but the boy was more energetic and optimistic, even _playful_ than Harry could remember for some time. Tension still lingered, but the mood was already much different than their outings when he was still at the Wilsons' residence. The warm glow Harry remembered with such fondness had returned to Eggsy's skin, instead of the slight pallor that came with constant stress and worry.  
It was a good sign. A small one, but significant.

They walked home together, chatting and laughing and the chill biting a little less for it while the sun descended in the sky. Harry had a lot of moments to cherish lately, he thought, and this was going to be one of them. He kept Eggsy wrapped tight and warm with an arm around his shoulders when the boy wasn't jumping around and gesturing about something or another they'd seen or other places he'd like to go. Harry kept nodding and grinning and adding commentary where he could, but he was happy to let Eggsy go on, and he was grateful the boy hadn't lost his spirit. 

Eggsy didn't complain about the arm, either. No one gave them a second glance, assuming that they were father and son. The sky turned to warm, fiery colours painted across the clouds as dusk drew near, and shadows stretched out in front of them as they made their way back home.

Home. It was home again, to Eggsy and Harry both. It had been just another place with a bed to Harry when the boy had been gone, more or less, much like the sleeping quarters at Kingsman HQ or one of the scattered safe houses Kingsman maintained. Hope had been breathed back into the rooms.

They were greeted by a plume of warm air when Harry let them inside. Eggsy didn't need to be told where to hang up his jacket or leave his shoes. Harry announced that he'd put on the kettle and see what he could make for dinner, heading for the kitchen and enjoying the feel of life in the house. This would be Eggsy's first real day back and Harry intended to let him relax and settle now that they'd gone out and had their fun. 

Eggsy went right for the telly, flopping down on the sofa and beginning to skim through the channels looking for something good. Harry noticed that Eggsy didn't immediately make for the privacy of his room. That he hadn't had enough of Harry's presence after a full day spent out in public.

Harry knew time would prove just how comfortable Eggsy felt in the same rooms as him, but it was a good sign. Good signs continued to happen throughout dinner, when Harry made fried cod and rice and Eggsy didn't hesitate to help him set the table when he called nor engage in conversation throughout the meal. They had comfortable silences and comfortable topics with the museum so fresh at hand. Harry could remember the strained tension between them the first few times Eggsy had visited since coming back. He remembered bursts of them finding sync with one another and then losing it. Somehow, this was worlds apart, and he didn't dare take it for granted. 

Eggsy helped clear the table afterwards as well, though he didn't stay to wash up. It was then that he retreated upstairs, and beyond the running water in the sink and clink of cutlery and dishes being washed, Harry could hear the water turn on above him. Not the shower, which had its own distinct sound, but the deeper sound of a tub being filled.

Harry paused, trying to remember the last time he'd seen Eggsy taking a bath. Years ago, definitely. Even when Eggsy had first come to live with him, the boy had been taking mostly showers for a while. Harry wondered if this was a sign of just how much Eggsy was relaxing after all. 

Harry finished up the dishes and headed up the stairs, but left the door to the toilet alone. It was Harry's usual routine to check on work before he went to bed, and he decided he may as well not put it off. It was an unexpected comfort to hear the muted sounds of water splashing now and again from the other room while he answered emails and looked over documents. 

Sometime later, Harry heard the sound of water beginning to drain. What followed were other sounds that had once been familiar - the tap of a toothbrush against the sink, the swish of water in a cup. The door finally opened and small footsteps moved towards Eggsy's room. The door opened and closed, and after a minute or two, Harry could faintly hear the depression of springs as Eggsy settled into bed.

Harry spent a long moment before he finished up his work to think how surreal this was, and then decided that he'd have to introduce saying goodnight before Eggsy went to bed into their new routine. He shut down his computer and went to get ready, himself, wondering if Eggsy was listening to all the small noises he made as he changed, brushed his teeth and washed his face before bed. He liked to think so as he closed the door to his own room and climbed under the covers. He set his alarm so that he could get up in time to make breakfast again and thought about this becoming part of their routine, too. 

There were so many things Harry determined he would have to rediscover about living with Eggsy, but it was beginning to feel like he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join us 12/16 and 12/17 for the Friday and Sturday chats at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)
> 
> Also note that the next chapter will be late.


	55. Chapter 55

Weeks passed, settling them into their new routines. Eggsy eventually decided it was too stressful to constantly worry about his previous tutor, and so Harry arranged for a series of new ones for Eggsy to select from. Much as the boy hoped for a reprieve, there was only such where emotions were concerned; Harry continued to be driven to motivate Eggsy towards his education and advancement, and so there was little vacation to be had from homework and lessons. Eggsy grudgingly submitted, knowing full well it was for his eventual benefit. He might not find schooling very stimulating right then, but it would pay off in the end, and he knew it.

Harry kept his promises and gave Eggsy his space. He never stepped foot into Eggsy's room and only knocked lightly on the door when breakfast was ready and Eggsy still hadn't gotten out of bed. Harry had improved in that, too. Eggsy's first days back weren't a fluke, Harry really did fall back into the routine of preparing meals for them both, and when Eggsy was around, sometimes roping the boy into helping, too. Like Eggsy's school lessons, Harry seemed determined that he learn basic cooking skills as well. 

Harry never touched Eggsy beyond their comfortable contact sitting on the couch or friendly squeezes of his shoulder unless Eggsy gave some indication he wanted to be touched. Whenever that happened, Harry was no less eager to provide it. 

True to Harry's predictions, he managed to keep the Wilsons away for the most part. Eggsy received a few phone calls, but they were very quickly caught up in their own lives. Harry had taken a minor vacation the first week Eggsy was back, but after that Eggsy had to get used to him being out of the house regularly. Harry hadn't gone on any extended missions yet, but it was clear he still led a busy life at work. 

One evening, while cooking dinner at the stove as Eggsy did homework at the table, Harry had an unusual request. "I need to go away to Austria for a few days this weekend. It's for work, but...I was wondering if you would like to come with me."

"Like I _wouldn't_ " Eggsy breathed. "You know I always like goin' places. All the better if I'm gonna be keepin' an eye on you. I feel better when I can actually _see_ you're alright, not just assume it because I haven't heard otherwise yet." Eggsy hadn't gone to Austria yet, but he had very scenic ideas from movies. The Sound of Music had been one of his mother's favourites for some reason, and all Eggsy could picture was cities set somewhere in the fields amid the mountains rising up in every direction.

"Well if you'd like, you have the option to do a little more than that, even." Harry glanced over his shoulder with a conspiratorial lift of his brow. "I need to investigate a man who will be taking a holiday with his family. Lots of families there, actually. We would be at a ski lodge, which is why you would work so well as part of my cover. If you're up for it, that is." Harry went back to stirring the stew like this was just a normal offer. "It wouldn't be dangerous. All you'd have to do is loiter around the lodge and pretend to be my son while enjoying the slopes." 

"You know I like skiing," Eggsy countered with a grin. "Seriously, that's it? I get to go skiing and keep on pretendin' that I'm your kid, like everyone else figures, and it helps you out on your mission? Sold. Sign me up. Not every day someone gets a free vacation and helps out a spy organization. Am I gonna be having to do any babysitting?"

Harry laughed and brought their steaming bowls of soup and a plate of rosemary garlic bread to the table. "Quite keen for a holiday, aren't you?" In truth, Harry was relieved. Eggsy was showing no signs of reservation yet, even when his past experience with Harry's missions hadn't been very pleasant. Still, Eggsy did know that most did not turn out the way he'd seen in person. "If you're okay with it, you might be able to help keep an eye on things for me. This man will be there with his wife and four children, which are a lot of people to account for."

" _Four_?" Eggsy whined, taking his seat. Even the savoury aroma in front of him and the idea of a vacation didn't quite make up for it. " _Four_ kids. I don't suppose they're all at least old enough to really ski? Older kids might be competitive, but younger ones will want help, and you can't do both at once."

"The eldest is a year older than you I believe," Harry shot Eggsy a look of amusement. "And I believe the youngest is eight, so they should all be old enough, if not for the more difficult hills. But anyway, I won't need you to keep track of them constantly. Just...at the opportune moments, if you are so inclined. If not, I'll have to set up surveillance that can cover the areas where the lodge's security cameras are lacking." Harry dipped a slice of bread into his soup and savoured the taste. 

"I dunno that I can take care of all of 'em at once. You're gonna have to pick older or younger, most like." It wouldn't truly be a vacation if Eggsy had a job, but then, it wasn't a vacation for Harry either. He was working, and he so rarely included Eggsy in his work. Giving a little might just be the key to getting more - information, and involvement, and perspective. Viewing the aftermath of missions only did so much. Eggsy was concerned about _current_ jobs, and what they entailed, and who Harry was interacting with.

"It will likely come down more to timing, so I'd recommend you try to befriend the older children and then if I have need of you to engage the younger two for any reason, it won't seem that unusual. We can fit you with an earpiece, just in case. It's too bad I don't think a pair of glasses would quite fit your cover." Harry smiled, trying to imagine Eggsy in thick rimmed glasses that clashed with nearly everything in the boy's wardrobe. If Merlin wanted to see through Eggsy's eyes, they'd have to figure out something else. 

"Yeah, no. They look fine on you. More than fine. But if I wear somethin' like that with my usual stuff, those kids are gonna beat me up instead of wanting to race me down the slopes. I don't think I'll need somethin' like that unless you're planning on havin' me snoop around, and it sounds like you just want me to be a distraction." Eggsy's brows lifted suggestively. "I can do that right here, y'know. You don't even have to butter me up with a trip to the mountains."

"I don't need you to be _my_ distraction." Harry levelled a spoon at Eggsy, not trying to hide the pull of his mouth. "I'd never leave the lodge if that were the case, never mind getting anything else done. But yes, I think all you'll need will be an earpiece. And most of your time can be spent enjoying the trip. This should be a fairly low-key mission overall, even for me." 

"Is there any extra time? Or is it one of those get-in, get-out sort of jobs?" Eggsy had never minded those when waiting for Harry back home, but he was a bit less enthusiastic at the idea of his vacation being cut short just because Harry had finished pulling the wool over some bloke's eyes. "Who's this guy, anyways? What does he got that they need you rattlin' his cage in person instead of just, I dunno, tappin' into his phone and computer and such from a distance?"

"He's a systems analyst for some tech company or another, officially, but on the side he forges documents of identification for a Russian network involved mainly in illegal trade. Essentially, he's a highly skilled link in a chain that are very difficult to track and he is one of the few people involved who will have a stash of physical documents on hand. Part of his reason for visiting Austria, in fact, is to hand these forged documents off to the middle men who will distribute them to buyers. I simply need to obtain copies of these documents and we'll not only have him, but enough information to track these stolen identities down the chain." Harry watched as Eggsy took it all in like he was envisioning the process. "This generally means getting into his rooms while he and the family are out to dinner or frolicking around the slopes. We'll only get an extra day to enjoy at most, and that's only if we can wrap this up in a timely manner." 

"Is that your way of tellin' me you want me to be extra distractin'? I don't have as much experience with skiin' as I'd like, but I think I can help. Unless you want to be the one dazzlin' them all while I go pokin' around in their rooms?" Eggsy wouldn't have the expertise to do such a thing, and they both knew it, but the boy couldn't resist teasing. "What do I get if I help out?"

"A trip to an Austrian ski resort isn't enough?" Harry spluttered. "What more could you possibly want?" Eggsy had that look in his eye that meant trouble. It was one that was making an appearance more often over the past few weeks, and one that Harry delighted in whenever he saw it, even if it did spell mischief. "How about room service every morning? Twenty four hour access to an indoor pool and sauna? A full service bar - well, I suppose you'll have to wait until you're a little older for that one." Harry grinned. 

"I bet I could make use of some other services. It's supposed to be a vacation, after all." The boy's eyes turned upward in thought. He knew full well that Harry would treat him to whatever mundane pleasures he wanted, and more. Being allowed to accompany Harry on a mission for his own peace of mind, much less help out, was a bit of a treat in itself. "You gotta come skiing with me when we're done. I get to pick the slopes. And we get to go out for hot chocolate and treats, not just stay in the lodge. Someplace not for tourists. Deal?"

"Deal." Harry didn't stop grinning through the rest of their dinner. As excited as Eggsy sounded for the trip, going on to tease Harry some more over his own potential spy skills, Harry couldn't stop his own excitement from welling up. He remembered Eggsy had been disappointed when he couldn't watch Harry's missions in real time, and Harry had known that wouldn't be a good idea when Eggsy was home alone, but it seemed the boy's desire to see what Harry did went further than just that. It was true that the mission was not expected to be difficult, and Harry would have hesitated over putting Eggsy in any real danger, but Eggsy had been proving himself capable enough to come along for something like this for quite a while now and Harry thrilled at the opportunity.

Eggsy, too, was thrilled. At the trust it entailed, and the excitement of being part of a real mission, even if it was only a simple one. Overconfidence had gotten to the boy - after outsmarting Harry and Merlin for some time, and helping successfully get Harry out of a captive situation, Eggsy felt like he could handle more than Harry thought. He didn't want to jeopardize missions, by any means, but neither did he want to sit back at the house doing homework, knowing all the while Harry might be in danger or having adventures without him. Security and normalcy went a long way, but Eggsy also didn't want his life to be _boring_.

When Harry said goodnight to Eggsy later, the excitement still lingered around him like a palpable aura. Harry was glad to see it, even if it meant Eggsy might not be getting any sleep that night. Eggsy had been surprisingly relaxed since he'd arrived, minus a few tense occasions, but Harry finally felt like he could introduce something that Eggsy would be truly _happy_ about, even if it had been a gamble. It had stuck in his mind, how much Eggsy wanted to know as much as Merlin did, how much the boy wanted to be an equal in all things that he could be. This would be the perfect opportunity. 

To see and experience things as Harry did, not afterwards through the distance of old mission footage and debriefing reports. To know what was happening, and when, and be a small part of the action. Eggsy didn't expect much more out of the experience other than the unique excitement of getting to participate and the pleasure of showing off. Harry knew he wasn't an inept child, but he'd prove it once again, then have the delight of basking in his part of the victory.

* * *

Harry made preparations for the weekend and notified Eggsy's new tutors that he might be a day or two late returning and the rest of the week passed quickly from there. Eggsy was a whirlwind of excitement even when he wasn't talking about the trip. Harry could see it in him. Kingsman even provided the necessary ski wear they would need, but left them to rent their actual skis from the lodge. Eggsy wouldn't have to worry about anything he owned being second hand if he did end up playing with these other kids. 

When it came time to make the trip, Harry didn't take Eggsy to the airport as he had done on their past vacations together. This time, he was allowed to make use of Kingsman's private jet. 

Eggsy was wide-eyed all the way there. The tailor shop was far too indiscreet for bringing luggage along to the underground tram; instead, they'd driven to a nearby hotel, one that was Kingsman owned. Rather than up to the rooms they were ostensibly renting, a turn of a key and the punch of an access code took them down far beneath the streets to another stop on the tramway. Eggsy stayed close behind Harry and took a seat opposite him, watching the tram doors slide shut once they were settled. "Dunno if I'll ever get used to this. I still feel like I'm sneakin' into the place."

"You had a very unique first impression, I'll grant you that." Harry smiled and knew Eggsy could see the grin he was holding back. Arthur had cleared the use of Harry's ward for this mission, although reluctantly. But Eggsy would provide a good cover and he had known about Kingsman for some time now, and it was not as though Harry couldn't point to the long tradition of introducing family members into the business. 

When they arrived at Kingsman headquarters, the halls were much the same as they had been the last time Eggsy was there, although this time Harry led him along quickly at his side, flanked by an assistant briefing them with the flight itinerary, hotel check-in times, and names and numbers that were too disconnected for Eggsy to follow. 

Eggsy tried his best not to gape like a tourist. The view of the hanger was still breath-taking, but many of the other halls looked much the same. Eggsy guessed that that might be on purpose - anyone who was supposed to be there would memorize where they were going and what was what, and a stranger would be caught in a maze of identical passages.

More surprising to Eggsy was how many people they passed. Most couldn't be agents, or at least weren't dressed as such. Technicians, clerical workers, security, even some people that looked to be mechanics passed them by. It made sense that the organization would need support staff, but it was another thing to actually see them. Particularly when Eggsy thought most of them wouldn't look out of place at a corner pub.

Harry caught the boy looking and winked down at him, seemingly unnoticed by any of the staff that followed. 

When they reached the ground floor of the hangar, Eggsy saw that the plane had been brought out and was waiting for them with stairs down. Techs moved around underneath it, checking safety features and refuelling, probably. Harry thanked the man who had been with them and accepted another briefcase to carry with their luggage. 

"Excited yet?" he asked Eggsy as they approached the aircraft. 

" _Hell_ yes. Not every day you get to go on a spy jet." Eggsy glanced sideways at Harry. "Well, maybe _you_ do, but I bet you remember what it was like when it was brand new to you. Right?" They climbed the stairs into the main cabin and Eggsy stopped as he got another surprise. "Oh, you _gotta_ be kiddin' me. You've got your planes decked out to look like this? Like some luxury hotel or summat?"

"Welcome to first class." Harry made a sweeping gesture around the interior where soft leather chairs and lounges awaited them. "You really didn't expect us to sit in those cramped little compartments for hours on end with the amount of travelling I do? Have the time I'm passed out on that couch and miss the whole flight." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulder and went to stow their luggage in the compartment in the back. 

Eggsy heard footsteps upon the stairs and a moment later a tall man with similar spectacles as Harry entered the doorway. Eggsy didn't have to ask who he was, however, as there was no mistaking the Captain's uniform. He caught sight of Eggsy, but his attention drew to the sounds of Harry closing the cabinet. "Galahad, reporting for duty, sir." 

Harry emerged from the back and nodded to the man. "Very good, are we all set?" 

"Just waiting on our first officer and we'll be good to go." The Captain nodded back and made his way to the cockpit. 

"D'you all wear the same glasses, even for people who aren't field agents?" Eggsy asked, then considered for a moment. "I guess if he's comin' with us on the plane, then it counts as being in the field. I guess I just feel a bit... weird knowin' I'm surrounded by cameras again. I knew it was gonna happen, with you bein' out on assignment, but I guess I didn't know I was gonna feel so weird about it."

"My apologies for that, but it's something of a necessity. Here, come sit." Harry patted the chair next to the one he took. "All of our agents wear glasses, and anyone who will be working in the field alongside us, although if there are more than a couple of us, sometimes we have to get creative or it becomes noticeable. You won't have to be around so many at the lodge, just mine."

The sound of footsteps again preceded the arrival of their co-pilot, who gave a polite nod and a short "Galahad," to Harry before closing up the staircase behind him and going to join their captain. 

"Perks of bein' out on the slopes bein' a distraction, instead of doin' the real spy work, I guess." Eggsy sat beside Harry and tried to settle the knot in his stomach. He knew there were still cameras in Harry's house, but he turned them off for Eggsy. He knew there were cameras everywhere when they went out in public, and that Merlin was probably going to watch them through the lenses they passed by, but he'd gotten used to that, too. Or at least _resigned_ to it. Eggsy was a little unnerved at the idea of other co-workers of Harry's walking around with cameras recording everything they saw and heard.

"Speaking of, I have your earpiece if you'd like to take it now. There is a very small switch on the side you can press to turn it on and off and you needn't wear it all the time, just when we're actively working." Harry opened the briefcase he'd been given and pulled out a small case for Eggsy. Eggsy knew the glasses could be turned off, too, but that wasn't very reassuring when so many people wore them. "You're automatically tuned to our handler's channel and you'll be able to talk to me over that frequency as well."

Eggsy shot Harry a questioning look, but he already knew the answer he was looking for. _Our handler_ would mean Merlin. From all of Harry's stories and the mission logs Eggsy had seen, it was very rare indeed that Harry ever went with a different handler. Eggsy opened the case and found a very small earpiece nestled inside amid the custom foam, delicate-looking and nearly transparent. If he slid it on, Eggsy would bet that it wouldn't be viewable at all unless someone was far too close and knew what they were looking for. "How's this gonna work with all my ski gear on?"

"You'll be able to hear perfectly, and the microphone inside it is very sensitive, so Even if it's a little muffled, I'll be able to hear you as well." Harry let Eggsy pocket it and sat back in his chair while something in the plane dinged and they heard the engines begin their low thrum outside. 

"Buckle up and prepare for take-off," came the captain's voice over the intercom, and Harry and Eggsy did as instructed. Outside their windows, the techs moved their equipment out of the way and the plane began a slow taxi forward. 

It stopped in the centre of the hangar and that was when the engines became noticeably louder. Lights lit up in a circle around the walls and something was going on above them as suddenly, real daylight poured into the hangar below. Harry just smiled as he watched Eggsy lean to see out the window. Then the engines roared and they were lifting up, straight off the ground, until they passed the opening that had once been the green landscape of the mansion's front lawn and they were in the air, swiftly moving forward.

"No _way_. I thought only helicopters could do that," Eggsy whispered. He wasn't an expert on aerospace engineering by any means, but even he knew planes couldn't gain altitude in a straight vertical line. "You got some sort of weird engines? Is that why you don't see a landing strip for something like this from the outside?"

The more Eggsy thought about it, the more it made sense. It wouldn't be too outrageous for someone who owned a manor to have a small private plane, but the sort of things that Kingsman used would certainly draw attention - from the model of the planes and their gear, to the hangars and other assets needed to store, maintain, and allow such equipment to take off. Not to mention the frequency of vehicles coming and going. The best way to keep people from asking questions about why you had private planes and what you were doing with them would be to hide everything so no one could notice anything at all. No visible landing strip meant planes that could vertically ascend.

"Indeed. The plane is fitted with both the main engines, which have been specially made to rotate, allowing for the vertical assent, and stabilizers to keep us level during such manoeuvres. You won't find anything like it anywhere else." Harry delighted in the look of sheer awe on Eggsy's face as he stared out the window, trying to see as much of the plane as he could as they gained altitude. 

Once they passed the clouds, the captain turned off their seatbelt light and Harry unbuckled himself. "Would you like something to drink? A snack?"

"Sure. Whatcha got? Anything good?" Eggsy was approaching one of his growth spurts and food with him disappeared about as quickly as it could be offered. "Speaking of, are we gonna be eatin' at the lodge, or going out somewhere else? What happens if the family of the guy you're after wants to sit with us? I don't really have the greatest idea of who you're playin', if they ask me questions."

Harry rummaged through the refrigerator in the back. "Turkey sandwiches okay?" At Eggsy's nod, he returned to his seat with pre-wrapped sandwiches and two bottles of water. "I don't need be too far off character for this trip. We'll go by the last name of Jones, and you can call me 'dad' or Henry." Harry took in Eggsy's uncomfortable expression and winked. "I'd prefer it if you went by Gary rather than Eggsy. It can be difficult to remember to respond to a new name if you're not used to it, but yours is very distinct."

Eggsy made a rude sound and flopped back in his chair. "Gary sounds so _boring_ though. I've never liked it. 's like it belongs on some bloke who runs the local petrol station and gives you a rough time if he thinks you look too much like a chav. Do I gotta use it, or can we come up with something else? Can I be a Jason or Ben or something?" The plastic crinkled as Eggsy unwrapped his sandwich, and he was momentarily quiet as he started working on making the sandwich disappear.

"Let's see, what is something that might fit you...? You should have a little fun with it." Harry peered over his sandwich, hiding a smile. "You certainly can't go around calling yourself James Bond. What do you think of Jimmy instead?" He put on an imperious tone and straightened his shoulders, readying himself for Eggsy's eye roll. "Jones. Jimmy Jones." 

Eggsy rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth turned up. Harry knew how much Eggsy enjoyed being a bit cheeky, and having his name be a very slight nod to a famous spy was just the sort of mischief he'd enjoy. "Fine. Pretty much _anything's_ better than Gary. You really going with something as regular as Henry Jones, though? I mean, I guess there are a bunch of John Smiths in the world, or else people wouldn't joke about the name being so common, but won't people think it's a bit weird?"

"It'll be easier for you to remember in this case, and since we won't be faking accents, it will fit well enough even if it's common." Harry wanted this to be as natural as possible for Eggsy. Falsified histories and different names could be difficult to remember if one wasn't used to them and hadn't had time to practise. "As far as anyone should be concerned, you and I live in London where I work as a tailor and you attend school and our lives are not much different than they really are from day to day. If anyone asks about your mother, you can say that she left you with me several years ago."

"Got it. So we're doing minimal changes, just in case, right? Since I don't have a lot of experience with this stuff? I don't wanna mess this up." Pride was on the line, but even more; Eggsy was happy he'd been trusted enough to be included and get to see more of this part of Harry and Harry's life. He wanted this experience, and to do well enough that perhaps he'd be shown more. Get to travel more and have other experiences that weren't simply those of a tourist.

"Right." Harry nodded and then offered Eggsy a kind smile. "You'll do fine. You've had more practise in this than most. If you're ever unsure of what you should say, the best policy is usually to say nothing at all. People tend to draw their own conclusions." Harry hoped Eggsy really would feel comfortable on this trip. He wasn't certain the boy would really need to do anything at all. There were bound to be plenty of children and the family would surely spend most of their days out on the hills or together at the various restaurants and indoor activities rather than staying in their rooms all day. With that in mind, Harry also hoped that Eggsy wouldn't feel too disappointed if he didn't get to do anything, either. 

"Okay. I'll do my best." Eggsy took a swig of water and tried to calm the butterflies filling his stomach. He wanted to impress. He didn't even really know why, other than he still liked when Harry was proud of him and that he'd like to think his dad was proud of him, too. Lee had tried out for being a Kingsman agent and would have done things much like this. In a certain sense, the experience would give him one more thing to tie him to the father he barely remembered.

They sat in between comfortable silence and quiet conversation for the rest of the plane ride. Harry showed Eggsy a map of the town they'd be visiting and explained that they would have a car rented for them if they needed to go anywhere, but it was very likely they would spend all their time at the lodge. If Harry could get the information he needed in two days, then they'd be able to stay a third just for fun. 

It wasn't much later that they began their descent into the Salzburg airport in Austria and Harry and Eggsy had to buckle up again. As they lowered under the clouds, they could see the Alps in the very near distance, snow covered and vast. Somewhere in there was where they were headed. 

Eggsy stared out the window. It wasn't his first trip to a mountainous area, thanks to Harry, but it still made him full of awe when he saw it. In his estimation, there wasn't much to be seen in the English countryside outside of London but endless flat green. Mountains were a very different sort of wilderness, the sort you could see hanging on the wall in a picture frame instead of the monotony of grazing land as far as the eye could see. "What's even the difference between Austria and Germany? Didn't they used to be the same place?"

"Sort of. They've been united at times in history, including during the second world war, and they still share very strong links. You wouldn't have to go very far north from where we'll be staying to reach Munich." Harry made note to bring these things up to Eggsy more often. It hadn't occurred to him that the boy would be interested in the history of the countries they were flying into, although he realised that maybe it should have. 

They arrived at the airport with a smooth landing and their pilots took them to an area meant for private jets before they thanked the pair and disembarked. Harry handed Eggsy a passport on their way across the lot. "We'll be going through a security checkpoint. Simply give them this and we'll be through in no time." 

"Okay." Eggsy didn't ask about what to do if security decided to question him. Harry had already implied that they were going with a simplified version of the truth, so Eggsy was planning to stick to that and keep things as simple and vague as possible. Bare minimum, his luck would hold; people always assumed from his appearance and his accent that he was just one more stupid kid, bumbling about without a real clue or any smarts to his name. Playing ignorant had worked wonders for Eggsy in the past.

It turned out that they took Eggsy's passport, looked him up and down, had him go through the metal detector, and that was that. Harry whisked them through the airport like he'd done this a dozen times or more and from there they took a shuttle to pick up their rented car. Once they were on the road, Harry informed Eggsy they would be staying at the Saalbach-Hinterglemm resort a little more than an hour's drive south. 

Eggsy enjoyed the entire car trip there. Besides the entrancing scenery, Harry seemed to be in high spirits. They talked and joked, and after a bit Eggsy was all smiles and enthusiasm, asking questions about the country and rambling his thoughts about anything that came to mind. When they pulled into the garage and walked towards the front desk for check in, Eggsy seemed no less energetic for all the traveling they'd been doing that day.

Harry took care of checking in and receiving their room keys and the maps they'd need listing all the trails and hours of operation, where to rent equipment, where to eat, and just about anything else they would need. The lodge they were staying in was one of the most expensive the town had to offer, and it showed. It was situated right at the bottom of the busiest hills in the Hinterglemm ski resort and offered everything they would need without leaving. With wide windows set against the bottom of the slope, it offered a beautiful view outside and a modern but cosy interior. They passed the lounge area with a large fireplace set in the centre for the skiers to come in and warm themselves by before going back out again, and then took an elevator up to their room. When Harry unlocked the door, they found the room was furnished as well as the lounge below, with plenty of space and just as nice a view. 

"Our friend is staying at the other end of the hall," Harry informed Eggsy as they set their luggage down next to the two large beds. "They're scheduled to check in later today, so we'll have time to relax before I have to get to work."

Eggsy promptly set about exploring the room, admiring the view and the tasteful artwork hung on the walls before wandering into the bathroom. "...oh man. Harry, check it out. Not just a fancy shower, but one of those jacuzzi hot tub things. Probably so it can thaw people out after they wipe out and eat snow." Eggsy glanced in the mirror, running the sink faucet for a moment and wetting his hand so he could smooth down a rebellious tuft of hair. "What else is there to do here? I don't want to go out already if I'm gonna be out there distracting his kids for a long while. I'll freeze."

"We could see what's on the menu from room service for later, or pick out a restaurant you'd like to go to for dinner." Harry unfolded the map and took a look around. "Seems there's an arcade we could visit, or the swimming pool. I'd like to stay in the lodge for now. There are security cameras at both ends of this hall Merlin has access to, and I'd like us to make an appearance in the hall as Mr. Orlov and his family are getting in. They'll be excited to see other kids nearby and will be less hesitant to get to know you later, if needed." It very well may not be, but Harry wanted the first impression to be there just in case. 

"Could we figure out what we're doin' for dinner and then hit the arcade? I don't really feel like swimmin' right now. 'sides, you'd probably get distracted, and I'm not _supposed_ to be distracting _you_. Not right now," Eggsy grinned. "I suppose I'm not allowed to leave real high score entries on anything just in case, huh."

"If you _can_ ," Harry shot back with a smile just as sly. He squeezed Eggsy's shoulder on his way to the mirror and unbuttoned his suit jacket. Harry was in one of his comfortable suits that day, one meant for travelling and casual attire--as casual as he ever got--but he wanted to look a little more relaxed. "Okay then. Arcade sounds good to me. And you're quite right. No distracting me until this is _over_." He gave Eggsy a pointed look, but the boy only looked even cheekier about it. 

"Not even a little bit? Not even by mistake? Ain't my fault if you get distracted when I'm not tryin'," Eggsy mock-complained. "And there's no way you're gonna get away with tellin' me I can't go swimming or use the hot tub. No way. You're workin' but I'm gonna have a little vacation in this vacation." He beamed back at the look Harry shot him, knowing full well that the suggestion had just planted an image in the older man's head.

"If you do that, then you'd better have a good idea of what I'll want to do to you when this is all over," Harry warned. He turned and advanced upon the boy until Eggsy had to dance out of his way or risk getting caught, but Harry kept heading for the door. He threw a smile over his shoulder and adjusted his glasses. "Come on, best not waste time in enjoying this vacation. I'll challenge you to a lively game of foosball if they have it." Harry winked and opened the door, purposefully making it difficult for Eggsy to provide the comebacks he might have liked to.

The boy huffed, letting Harry know just what he thought of such cheating, but he wasn't truly put out. Bits and pieces of his former confidence were coming back, a little bit more every day. A large part of it was helped by Harry keeping his word and Eggsy's own sense of independence, if a limited sort; he was still financially and socially dependent on Harry as his legal guardian, but Harry was giving him his own income, space, and privacy. Eggsy had combed over his room several times in a fit of paranoia, but no evidence ever surfaced that Harry had gone back on his word and tampered with the room. Harry's treating him like an adult didn't have the sense of being a ruse to lull him into a flattered sense of security and pride this time, at least so it seemed to Eggsy. Harry wouldn't have invited him along on a mission if he didn't think him capable.

"What do I get if I win the game?" Eggsy asked as they stepped into the lift to go down to the arcade.  
"You are _set_ on getting something out of me, aren't you?" Harry raised his brows in mock disbelief. But Eggsy was looking at him back with his head tilted up and eyes imploring, posture deceptively relaxed, and Harry sighed. "What would you like if you win the game?" he asked instead, pandering to Eggsy's playful challenge. Harry could imagine all sorts of answers, ones ranging from having to test his skills on the difficult slopes to far more...personal debts. With the way things were between them now, it was impossible to say what the answer would be. 

"For you to buy a couple things for me I ain't allowed to, yet," Eggsy replied with a smirk. "You don't always tell me everythin'. It's not gonna be anything dangerous, I can promise that much." Eggsy only grinned when Harry's brows rose even further. Harry had had plenty of opportunities to be cryptic. Eggsy thought it only fair the tables be turned and Harry be kept in a bit of suspense while not knowing exactly what he was signing up for.

"You realise you're going to have to tell me when the time actually comes to purchase these nebulous, illicit items, don't you? You're only delaying the inevitable." But Harry removed his gaze from the boy and straightened. He knew he'd done this to himself. Several ideas about what the boy might want entered his mind. Harry had given him plenty of wine before, even beer on occasion, but Eggsy might be interested in harder liquors, having only tasted them before. Harry imagined the boy taking up smoking with a near wince at the memory of Eggsy's gymnastics. And then there were...other adult materials. Ones Harry didn't have time to contemplate as the door chimed and opened for them to alight upon the ground floor. "Fair enough. It's a deal," Harry finally answered, hoping he wouldn't regret it. 

Eggsy gave a little fist pump of victory, a new bounce in his step and a competitive glint in his eye. "Alright! Now we're talkin'. Hope you're ready to get trounced. I'm gonna guess you haven't had time to practice this sort of thing much, but I spent a _lot_ of time at the community centre and foosball was one of the few things you didn't need money for. I'm out of practice but probably not by much."

"What have I gotten myself into?" Harry trudged along behind Eggsy, as much as Harry ever trudged anywhere with his long legs, but he was beginning to see that due to a certain amount of coincidence and opportunistic thinking on Eggsy's part, he was about to be played. 

They found the mini arcade busy, not uncomfortably so, and lucky for them most of the lodge's patrons were occupying newer machines - racing games, air hockey, and the like. They descended upon one of the two unoccupied foosball tables in the corner, conveniently placed next to a large glass window to dampen the sound coming from the game room, but avoid separating it completely from the rest of the common area. 

"Start us a round," Harry called to Eggsy and handed him a stack of change. 

"You got it." The foosball table wasn't quite the same as the battered one Eggsy remembered at the community centre near his mother's flat, and it wasn't free like that one. Coins needed to be inserted into slots on a metal rack, then pushed into the machine. It clicked, and the ball dropped into the pocket on Eggsy's side of the table. He grabbed it and set it in the middle, casting a wary look at Harry's arms. He had more practice, but Harry might be able to switch more easily between the controls with his longer reach. "You ready?"

Harry raised his arms and loosened his jacket before gripping the handles and facing off against Eggsy. " _Ready._ " 

And then they were off. Eggsy attempted to nail the shot from the very start, and from some long distant childhood memory, Harry just managed to block it. They dove back and forth across their respective sides, figures on the table spinning like miniature whirlwinds. What they lacked in precision, they made up in fervour, and even Harry had to be wary of not getting jabbed in the stomach by Eggsy's flying handles. It wasn't more than thirty seconds before Eggsy landed the first goal, however.

"That's one! How many rounds are we playin'?" Eggsy flashed a smile at Harry, but only for as long as it took for the older man to retrieve the ball and place it back at the starting point. He was determined to win, but not for the sake of pride. Harry might have agreed to his wish if he simply asked, but Eggsy felt easier with an edge of obligation there. It would feel less like asking one more favour and more like Eggsy had earned it himself.

"However many you like," Harry laughed. "What do you say to best out of five?" Harry knew they had time before they had to get back. Merlin and his staff would be keeping an eye on their target's whereabouts and they had Harry's ear whenever they wanted it. It was fortunate for him that he wasn't required to record the whole of this mission from start to finish. Being in Eggsy's company at certain points would have made that difficult. 

They played a few more rounds, Harry winning one and then Eggsy picking up the next. The boy hadn't been lying; he'd apparently put in his time with this game. 

Harry did his best and put up a good fight, but a few more rounds resolved it. Eggsy grinned as soon as the last scoring shot hit and, strangely, looked relieved as well as happy about his victory. "No hard feelings, right? You're better'n me at a number of things for havin' more practice, only fair I have the same. Should we go check out what to do for dinner or do you wanna hang out here a bit more?"

"We can go take a look at the restaurant list, and maybe see where to rent skis, but what I'm really curious to hear it what you just won." Harry stretched and raised his brows at the boy, but all he got was that charming twinkle of Eggsy's eye, one Harry wondered if he hadn't passed on to Eggsy himself. "Or you can leave me in the dark until the time comes, I suppose, but you know it's going to haunt the back of my mind now." 

Eggsy stretched, ostensibly to ease his muscles after all the tension of the game, but he knew full well how Harry's eyes would travel along the lines his body made. "Dunno, that depends. You gonna be more distracted if I tell you, or less? I told you I don't want you havin' no accidents while we're here, takin' on black diamonds while you're busy thinkin' about other stuff."

Harry gave a long suffering sigh, but didn't try to hide his smile. "Alright then, nevermind for now." He clapped his hand over the back of Eggsy's neck and squeezed before letting the boy go. There was plenty he could convey through casual touch. But Harry led the way out of the arcade and was determined to put whatever this mysterious gift was at the back of his mind, where it belonged for now. 

They visited two of the adjoining restaurants to pick up menus for later. One was Italian and the other sort of all around high-end European fare. When Harry inquired, they were informed the rental shop was at the other end of the lodge, but not far from the common area where skiers could easily come and go without having to take off their winter clothing entirely. 

"What do you say we pick up our skis while we have the time?" Harry asked. 

"Yeah, sure. I'm not even sure what sort of stuff I'll be needin' this time. I haven't done this since that... last trip we took together, which was a while ago. I'm guessin' you need different ski lengths and stuff based on your height and weight?" Eggsy didn't want to think back to the complexities involved in his memories of those old vacation trips, before he knew who and what Harry was. He was slowly healing, but that didn't mean he still didn't feel twinges of the pain and anger that had later coloured those memories. He could remember more of the good feelings now, but it still wasn't something he wanted to dwell on at the moment. There'd be time for introspection later, like when he _wasn't_ vacationing in the middle of a real spy mission.

"Same basic equipment, unless you'd like to try snowboarding this time as well? That might be interesting." Harry knew a lot of the kids Eggsy's age would prefer boards over skis, and Eggsy might as well. It would give him access to a lot of the smaller hills with jumps and rails to use, too, and there was a chance Orlov's kids would be using the same. "We'll get both." 

When they arrived at the rental office, they found the walls covered in rows of skis, boards, coats, goggles, and other various equipment and a short line at the desk where attendants helped customers find the sizes they needed and answered questions.

"Yeah. I think I really wanna try boards this time. Looks a lot like skateboardin', which I really missed. I also used to watch a bit of it when I got a turn on the telly. More rugby and football than anythin' else, but sometimes they played some kinda snowboardin' competitions." Eggsy stared at the equipment spread out across the room, feeling more than a little overwhelmed and taken back by just how many colours and varieties there were. Some of the gear looked hideous, at least to the boy's eyes, but other equipment looked like it had tumbled into real life from some fashion designer's sketchbook or a high end sports magazine. Eggsy might end up wiping out, but he'd look good doing it.

"Why don't you pick out something you like while we're waiting?" Harry asked, scanning the equipment for himself. They already had all the clothing they'd need besides boots, but he preferred to ski in style. Harry eventually found a brand he remembered out of the corner of his eye and wandered over to inspect further. Eggsy would have to be the boarder out of the two of them. Harry figured he would simply look silly if he tried, but that wasn't going to stop him from taking on any challenges either. His goal, however, was not to be out on the hills with the Orlov family, only for fun.

Eggsy wandered through the rows of choices, looking up at each without knowing much about what it meant. Style didn't mean effectiveness, after all. An edgy design didn't mean it would cut through the snow in the right way, and so Eggsy took a lot longer to make his choice, scrutinizing each board and watching what other boarders picked.

It wasn't long before the line diminished and one of the attendants came over to help them. Harry had his skis already picked out and found a similar pair for Eggsy, but the boy had a lot of questions about the snowboards. They spent some time deciding before finding one that matched Eggsy's size and was well recommended on the hills popular for the sport, including the jumps. 

Harry went to the counter to collect their boots and pay to use them over the weekend, and was told he'd only need to drop them off at the end of their stay. By the time they finished, they had their arms full. 

"I forgot how heavy this stuff was" Eggsy groused as they struggled back towards the common area. Harry might not be intent on going out right then, but Eggsy was supposed to hit the slopes soon after they met their targets, and he was already struggling under the weight. "If I break my leg on the slopes, right, you're still gonna save me. Yeah?"

Harry laughed. "I'll swoop in whenever you need me. And it won't feel as heavy once those boots are on your feet." They trudged across the room, passing families with similar loads under their arms and a few in full gear warming up among the tables and benches seated around the fireplace. Harry paused only a moment when a voice in his ear announced the arrival of the Orlov family at the check-in counter. He reached out to touch Eggsy's shoulder for his attention. "Let's stop a moment, shall we?" Harry inclined his head to one of the benches and sat down. "Our friends are here and I'd like to time this right."

"Yeah. Yeah, let's make sure everything fits right. I don't wanna carry this all back up and find out it's wrong." Eggsy shuffled over to a bench, fussing with the zippers and catches of the newly-obtained gear and assembling it as best he could. He kept his focus on the task in front of him, aware all the while of how Harry's attention was shifting sideways towards the figures just entering the room near them.

Harry did not join in Eggsy's endeavour of trying on his own boots, but he took the boy's skis so that he didn't have to deal with them when he stood back up and moved around a little. "Looks good. Do they feel okay?" 

A family with four young boys walked in at the other end of the room, most of them fair haired and on the tall side, and looking around and carrying their luggage like they'd just come in. Harry didn't look at them, but they were almost definitely the Orlov family. They passed without incident before Harry climbed to his feet. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I think these ones are good. I'll find out on the slopes, but I shouldn't have to trade 'em in I don't think." Eggsy flexed his toes and walked around in the boots to try the fit, aware all the while of Harry's distracted focus. When he risked a glance himself, the family didn't look out of the ordinary at all. Eggsy had been expecting something to set them apart, but the Orlov group looked much like any other family he had ever met. No sinister scars, no cold eyes, no strange tattoos.

"Very good." Harry waited until they caught an elevator and then began to follow. "We'll take these back to our room and then decide if we want to change and hit the slopes or explore some more." Harry didn't waste any time in hitting the call button when they stopped in front of the elevators, and fortunately one arrived quickly. 

A wave of chattering teens in full gear alighted before Harry and Eggsy stepped in and began the ascent to their floor. Harry glanced at the boy and smiled, but didn't say anything. 

Eggsy smiled back, more confident now that he knew exactly what was going on. He wanted to help, but he was also confident that Harry could handle whatever this was, particularly since it wasn't an especially dangerous mission. All he'd need to do was be himself, and he'd be enough of a distraction for the kids of the family to help Harry out.

The doors slid open to their hall and Eggsy and Harry stepped out just in time to see Mr. Orlov showing his children how to unlock the door with their key cards. Harry strolled towards them and gave a polite smile and a nod as they passed. Eggsy caught most of the boys' attention, being around the same age and their eyes followed him, but it was their mother who smiled back warmly before turning to her children when Harry stopped to unlock their own door a little ways down the hall. 

"Looks like there'll be plenty of kids here to play with," they caught her saying while Mr. Orlov held the door and they all piled in with heavy bags in tow. 

Eggsy smirked as soon as they were safely sequestered inside the room. Harry might have had practice not showing relief and glee at things going his way, but the boy had no such experience. "Alright! Time to get the adventure on. I've never done 'boarding before but I'm sure I'll get it down in no time. How're we doin'?"

"That was enough for now. If they see us again, they'll recognize us and you can say hello. And we'll see how things go today. It's very likely they might go out on the hills right away and that would provide a good opportunity. But if not, you can still go out and practise." Harry set their equipment down and leaned the skis against the wall. He tapped his ear. "I'll be informed of their whereabouts whenever they move now, and you should get used to wearing your earpiece, too."

"Right. I might go out and get some practice in, then, until it's time for dinner. Just let me know if you need me, yeah?" Eggsy grinned and grabbed the pieces of gear he was going to need. If he was predicting right, he was going to wipe out a good many times before he got the hang of his new board, which meant he was going to be aching and starving in a few hours.

"Sounds good. Have fun, and try not to break anything." Harry watched Eggsy hop out of his boots and begin to bundle himself up for the weather. He would have liked to go with the boy, but knew he would most likely have to wait until this was finished. "Let's test that earpiece before you go out there." Harry nodded to Eggsy's pocket and waited for him to put it in. "Merlin, would you care to do the honours?"

"Quite. Eggsy, can you hear me alright?" Eggsy cringed, and though the visual transmitted from Harry's glasses, Merlin laughed quietly. "Not too loud, I hope. I'll be keeping you up to date on what's going on and when you might need to move. Galahad here will be doing all the hard lifting."

"Looks like you're good to go." Harry clapped a hand over Eggsy's shoulder, hoping he'd be okay with Merlin's presence in his ear, even if the man often kept quiet enough to let anyone on the other end forget he was there. "And don't be afraid to ask for me if you need to find me. This is a closed channel. You won't bother anyone else." 

"Ah... alright." Eggsy glanced down at his booted feet, then up at Harry, feeling slightly lost. He'd almost forgotten that missions meant Merlin peering into their lives again, all-seeing and whispering in the background. "How do I make the microphone work? Or does it do that automatically?"

"It'll work automatically until you take it out and press the button on the back. Don't worry about causing too much noise or getting into conversation with anyone. We can dial down the volume or switch it off on our ends if needed. I will, however, try to keep the channel open in case you need anything." Harry squeezed before letting Eggsy go. He offered the boy a smile, hoping he'd find reassurance in it. "Go on. Have fun. Find some slopes to take me on later."

"Oh, I will." Eggsy flashed Harry a smile that was oddly anticipatory, then shouldered his board and turned towards the door. It was a struggle to get himself and the board through the doorway quickly given the bulk of his snow gear, but Eggsy managed, and managed to get the door shut behind himself.

Harry watched the door for a minute after he was gone, and then got up to begin unpacking. His laptop and the USB stick he would need came out first, then the day to day items he would rather not deal with later. After a bit of thought, Harry pressed the menu on his glasses and switched to a direct channel with Merlin. 

"Arthur having any second thoughts about this mission?" He asked, unfolding socks. 

"Not as of yet, although you know he's nervous about involving a civilian. He doesn't quite accept your boy yet as being the same as the other children in the extended family, so to speak." Merlin's voice came in clear but quiet, despite the small size of the earpiece. "However this mission progresses will go a long way towards that acceptance, but I doubt it will ever be complete. You know how he feels about recruits from other classes."

Harry hummed in acknowledgement. "I'll be sure not to mention that to Eggsy until _after_ the mission, but he seems to be handling everything well so far." Harry had been worried about stressing the boy. He assumed Merlin might have similar fears. Although Eggsy had proved on more than one occasion that he could function very well under stress. Regardless of how this went down, Harry was glad that Arthur was at least putting up with it even if the man grumbled. 

"It will go fine. The mission is fairly straightforward and low-risk. If it wasn't, you know damn well Arthur would never have agreed. Neither would you," Merlin added. "As much as you want to impress your young charge and seduce him into this sort of life, you're overprotective. It's unlikely he'll encounter anything more dangerous than being overambitious about the hills he can tackle on this trip."

Harry snorted. "That's true. I could probably slip next door the moment they leave and get this over with in the first day." Even if something went wrong and Harry was found out, Artur Orlov would not be able to do much about it. Any connection the man had to his associates was anonymous. The repercussions Kingsman would see would certainly not be immediate. Eggsy would be perfectly safe. 

"Don't be careless and rash just because you want to join him on the slopes. Do this right and there will be plenty of time for that sort of thing, and more, as Arthur won't call you to task later for making a sloppy mess of it." Merlin's voice came through clear and biting; he knew Harry well enough to be perfectly familiar with his inclination towards daredevil antics, and how augmented it would be with his young protégé nearby to watch. He knew, too, how impatient Harry would be to get work done so he might have time to play.

Harry gave an exaggerated sigh. "Yes, yes, of course. I'll sit here patiently." He sat down on one of the beds and opened up his laptop, intending to double check that everything he'd need to copy Orlov's hard drive was ready to go. It was, just as it had been when he'd left. Harry stood and found his wallet for a spare bit of change and one of the audio bugs he kept on him. He activated it and then headed to the door. "Might as well set up while I have the time." 

Harry moved out into the hall at a casual pace, lingering to Orlov's side of the hallway and palmed the tiny adhesive onto the corner of their doorway. He didn't stop until he reached the vending machine at the end and purchased a bag of pretzels. 

"You'll be pleased to know Eggsy's reached the top of his first hill and is suffering from a bit of nerves regarding his ability to reach the bottom with his pride intact." Merlin's amusement showed through, and Harry could almost picture it, with the boy peering down from behind his goggles and thick scarf to the descent he had in front of him.

Harry chuckled and raised the volume on Eggsy's feed a little. All he could hear was the boy's laboured breathing, but he didn't want to distract Eggsy either so he kept himself muted. "You're right though, I can't wait to get out there and enjoy a small vacation with him," he told Merlin. 

Eggsy had been doing well at Harry's house. Nothing had been quite the same as it once was, but it wasn't uncomfortable either. This was their first getaway, even if it wasn't a true holiday.

"We'd best make careful haste, then, to ensure you have the time and opportunity to make the most of it." Merlin's voice cut out as Eggsy's breathing intensified. Harry could hear the slide of snow against board faintly, and the rush of wind muffled by cloth. Eggsy's breathing was quick and shallow, but as the seconds ticked by, there wasn't an uptick from panic or any groans of pain. Moments more and the boy gave a small whoop under his breath; he'd reached the bottom safely, his first success for his new attempt at a different sport than he'd experienced before.

Harry smiled to himself and returned to his room, tossing the pretzels on the table to be forgotten about. He pulled out his laptop and tuned into the speaker feed from Orlov's room. He turned down both Merlin and Eggsy in order to listen in. It sounded like the family was unpacking and making plans for what they'd like to do first. As he'd expected, not all of them wanted to do the same thing at once, however. Two of the boys wanted to go to the arcade, another wanted to go out onto the slopes right away. Their parents went back and forth on who should take whom, but the one thing they agreed on after a while more of discussion was that they would have dinner later at the restaurant they'd passed on the way in. 

Harry made note of the expected time and determined that that might very well be his first opportunity to gain access to the laptop. 

Eggsy, meanwhile, was learning and gaining more confidence. Snowboarding was very different than skiing, but not so very different from the sort of skateboarding he was familiar with. The board was broader, his feet were locked on, and the terrain was different than the concrete and tar he was used to, but aside from that it was beginning to feel familiar. There were no wheels, just the friction and powdery glide of the snow. Eggsy tried a few more trips down the beginner slopes for snowboarding before he felt he was ready to step up a bit.

He had the time to practise. Harry and Merlin remained silent in his ear for a long time, presumably waiting for the Orlov family to do something interesting. It wasn't until about an hour or so after Eggsy had gotten the hang of the snowboard that Harry spoke up. 

"Eggsy. Don't reply if you're within earshot of anyone, but how are you doing out there? Liking the snowboard any better than skis yet?" Harry was using that tone of casual conversation that usually meant he was about to ask something once they got the pleasantries out of the way. 

Eggsy paused and fiddled with his hat and goggles, looking around to be certain he was alone. "Yeah. Kinda feels like the board is easier, at least for me. Like skateboardin'. Doin' fine so far, how're you?" Eggsy was well aware that Harry wasn't checking up on him out of interest or concern. More was going on. This wasn't a regular vacation, and Harry's tone of voice would have been different if it wasn't something serious.

"Afraid I got the boring end of things so far. I've set up audio surveillance inside the Orlovs' room and I'll be sitting here for a while yet I'm sure," Harry answered, sounding like he'd resigned himself to it, "but two of the older boys have left to get their skis and should be headed out your way soon. You might want to see if you can pass them again, let them recognise you and say hello, see if they're interested in making friends and spending time on the slopes for a while. I might have an opportunity to get in tonight, but it's not a sure thing."

"So I gotta switch to skiis? _Dammit_."

Eggsy cursed over the line, but not with true heat. He already knew what was going on behind the scenes and how he was supposed to contribute. "Alright. I'll head back in and switch out, see if I can't make some friends and keep 'em out for a while. You let me know how things are goin'."

"I will. Hurry and you'll catch them in time." Harry smiled and listened to Eggsy gliding down the rest of the hill before picking up his board. "You might be able to convince them to switch, I might add. I overheard them talking about skis versus snowboards, and they didn't sound very sold on their father's preference for skis." It had been decided that their mother would accompany the two boys, and Harry could only assume that she preferred skis as well, but judging from her reaction when they'd passed in the hall earlier, she would likely encourage her children to say hello if she saw Eggsy. 

"That'd be great. I like both but I like the board better," Eggsy commented as he trudged back towards the lodge. He was skimming back and forth between the crowd in front of him; at some point the marks would cross his path, and he didn't want to miss them and botch his one job of providing a distraction. All he was tasked to do was keep the rest of the family preoccupied, and it wouldn't look very good if he failed at his only job.

He had to go all the way up to their room to get his skis, but fortunately there wasn't a line at the elevator and it didn't take long. When Eggsy opened the door, he found Harry seated at the table with a drink and a laptop that must have been patched into the video surveillance in the lodge. He glanced up and offered Eggsy a smile. "Looks like you've been having a good time out there." No doubt commenting on the snow stuck in Eggsy's hat and the redness of his cheeks. 

"Not as good as I could have been," Eggsy countered, giving Harry a crooked smile of his own as he swapped out his gear. A quick dig in the suite's fridge found a bottle of juice to patch up his energy, and the boy drained it quickly. "It's missing something on the slide down. I suppose I'll have to look elsewhere."

"There should be more than enough hills to try," Harry offered, indulgent and warm, but his attention turned back to the cameras, specifically one that looked like it was right outside the rental office. "Best hurry along now. They'll be done any minute." He didn't sound rushed though. Harry never did. Even in the mission logs Eggsy had watched, on ones ten times as dangerous as this, Harry almost never sounded like he was under pressure. Annoyed sometimes, brusque sometimes, even a little snarky on occasion, but almost never truly troubled. Eggsy had only seen him that way once. 

"Right. I'll be off, then." Eggsy tried not to take it personally, but it was difficult not to. He wasn't used to not being the centre of Harry's focus, and even if he knew the context, Harry's distraction felt neglectful. Eggsy clamped down on the impulse to say something sharp, or give him a sight so unnerving that he'd be forced to pay attention. "Let me know if anything comes up."

Harry glanced up again and this time he must have caught something in Eggsy's posture or expression, but Harry didn't address it just then either. He pushed his chair back and rose to his feet, coming over to Eggsy and bending down to place his hands over the sides of the boy's face, warming his cold cheeks. "I will. And don't worry. Just say hello and do what you can, and have fun. Be yourself. Don't worry about me." Harry offered him a smile again before he let Eggsy go. 

Eggsy didn't move back after he was released. He moved forward, head ducked downward, not stopping until his arms were around Harry's sides and his forehead was resting against his chest. "I ain't gonna not worry about you. I saved you once. I can't stop thinkin' 'bout it. And 'bout what happens if you get in trouble again."

Harry's fingers clutched the back of his neck. "Well that's not going to happen here, okay? Even if we're found out, even if the whole thing gets botched, this man doesn't have the connections to do anything about it. The most he can do is call the police, and if that happened, we'd be long gone before they arrive." Harry rubbed his back and drew his chin up to look at him. "If anything happens, I will get us out of here. Do you believe me?" The way Harry was looking at him was imploring, but not judging. 

"Yeah. I believe you about that." Not about everything, but about that much. Eggsy was certain he wouldn't have been allowed to come if things were too dangerous, or had too much weight riding on the consequences. The target wouldn't have the power and means some of Harry's other targets would. "You better not risk yourself past that, though. You get _us_ out of here, not just me."

Harry laughed softly. "I know. I'd rather not stick around either." Harry squeezed Eggsy's shoulders and pulled back. He looked at the boy and then bent to place a chaste kiss against his cheek. "Alright, then? Chin up. You get back out there and before you know it we'll be done and can spend some time together for fun. Might as well have a little in the meantime, too, if you can." 

"You bloody well be careful or the mark and your boss are gonna be the least of your problems, you hear?" Eggsy groused, frowning at Harry's attempts at reassurance. None of it meant a thing, not if Harry failed to protect himself. Eggsy had thought he'd been far more relaxed and confident during the duration, but he found himself consumed by the worries of various possibilities. 

"Believe me, I hear you," Harry sighed and straightened. "Now go on. It won't help anything to stay here and worry." He had that tight smile that said he was hiding most of his concern, but it was more for Eggsy's wellbeing than it was any concern for the mission. Harry pulled these things off all the time, although he wasn't reckless anymore, and he didn't seem to be out looking for more danger than was called for, either. Not since Eggsy had come back into his life. 

The boy shot him a sharp look. Harry could hear him all too well. They were agreed that Eggsy would do what was needed to keep people distracted, and that Harry would keep himself relatively safe, but Eggsy's eyes spoke of a fight to come. Harry was not off the hook just because he was being careful, or because the mission was safer than usual. Any mission carried the risk of failure, and Eggsy's expression plainly said failure was not going to be accepted.

Harry refrained from sighing, but only just. He held the boy's gaze until Eggsy turned for the door and then watched the boy go, skis under his arm and leaving a damp trail along the carpet behind him. Harry wasn't sure if they'd spent too long already for Eggsy to find the Orlov boys easily, but he knew Eggsy would try. 

The boy's concern once things started to feel a little more real worried Harry, just a little. Not in the sense that he thought Eggsy would try to back out, or force Harry to, but having someone actively concerned for him during a mission was distracting. And not in the pleasant way Eggsy had hinted at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone reading for being patient with our updates. They might be coming less often lately, but know that we are also very close to wrapping up this story. 
> 
> Join us 1/20 and 1/21 for the Friday and Sturday chats at the [Dark Kingsman Block Party!](http://darkkingsmanblockparty.tumblr.com/about)


	56. Chapter 56

Eggsy was distracted. He felt slightly hazy as he wandered back downstairs, glancing at the people around him in what he hoped was a circumspect way. The point of having him help keep the family occupied was that it seem natural. If Eggsy looked too nervous or pressed a bit too hard, Harry might not get his opportunity to dig for information without notice.

The lift doors opened back on the main floor. Eggsy craned his neck to look through the crowd, but he didn't see the other boys.

Merlin's quiet voice sounded in his ear. "The boys are with their mother just outside, Eggsy. You'll find them putting on their skis over by the beginner's hill." 

The man had to be watching just like Harry was on the laptop in his room. The surveillance of the lodge and the grounds probably didn't provide full coverage, but it seemed that at least part of the area outside was within Merlin's reach. When Eggsy looked to the big windows behind the common area, he could see a lot of people out there putting on or taking off their skis, or just standing around and talking as they came and went. 

Eggsy had stiffened for a split second. He knew he'd probably hear Merlin and Harry through the earpiece at some point that weekend, but he wasn't expecting it right then. It was eerily clear, as if Merlin were right behind him. Eggsy hefted his skis up a bit higher to cover for his ungainly pause and headed towards the lodge door. He'd have to hurry if he wanted to catch the rest of the family before they became too occupied. 

"That's a little creepy, y'know that?" Eggsy muttered under his breath. "Already was when I knew you could see me, but even more now I'm hearin' you too."

"I do know that," Merlin responded, and if Eggsy wasn't mistaken, there was a touch of amusement in his voice. But at the same time, Merlin had the same calm professionalism that Harry had been exhibiting when he wasn't letting Eggsy distract him. "I shall try not to interrupt when you're around people." 

When Eggsy stepped outside, he didn't catch sight of them right away. He'd only seen the family twice and both times were in passing. He walked a little farther, glancing at the faces of the people around him as well as any familiar coats. It was the mother he caught sight of first. Her hair was a dark blond and she hadn't pulled it back, although it was now half covered under a thick hat. She leaned over two boys, one standing off to the side a little in a bright red hat who looked around Eggsy's age and already had his skis on, the other a bit younger, who was being helped by their mother to keep his balance while he stepped into the mechanism to lock the ski into his boots. 

Eggsy drew up close by - not close enough to crowd them, but enough that he knew he'd be spotted and would catch the family's attention. In a few moments he'd find out just how much he remembered about skiing, but at the least, he did remember how to easily snap his skis on while keeping his balance. "Um... 'scuse me, do you know how you tell the ratings on these hills? I've been told some of these are harder than they look."

The mother looked up and the moment she saw Eggsy, her face brightened. Clearly, she was a friendly sort of person, or just very used to being a mum. "Alexei, have you got the maps?" she asked her son, voice coloured in a light Russian accent. The older boy looked at Eggsy and then dug through his coat pockets. "They have signs at the top of the trails, but you'll be better off looking at the map before you go up that far. Here, you can have one of ours." She held out the map the boy handed to her for Eggsy to take. When he reached for it, the light of recognition caught her eye. "Aren't you just down the hall from us?"

"I think so? I thought I saw you all earlier, but I wasn't sure. There are a lot more people here than I expected. It's my first time," Eggsy explained. "Here, anyways. I've gone on skiing trips before, but it's been a while so I don't know how much I remember. I'm gonna guess you're new too, if you've got maps of the place?"

"Oh yes, it's our first time, too, although I think we'd still need the maps even if it wasn't," she laughed. "Alexei, Dmitry, say hello. I'm Elena." 

The two boys awkwardly said hello, but it was clear most of the discomfort was because of their mother doing the talking for them. The younger of the pair, Dmitry, whom she'd been helping into his skis, pulled away from her and dug his poles into the snow, not wanting to be seen leaning on his mother in front of a new kid. 

"Mama, are you gonna stay with us the whole time?" the older boy, Alexei asked, shifting impatiently. 

"Until you can prove you aren't going to break your leg, I am," she said and then looked back to Eggsy. "Why don't you boys go together? If you're not here with anyone?" It was obvious she was trying to make friends for her sons, but fortunately for Eggsy, the boys didn't look put out by it.

"Just my dad." Eggsy scuffed one ski awkwardly back and forth in the snow. He didn't know yet what sort of behaviour to adopt - Elena would find a certain amount of polite shyness appealing and be more likely to include him, but too much and the other boys might not want to hang out with him once their mother turned them loose. "He was gonna come out with me, but then a work client called, so he told me to go ahead and he'd catch up later. I'm Jim, by the way."

"Well it's good to meet you, Jim." She smiled and looked to her two sons. "You boys stay on this hill, okay? Just until you get the hang of it."

They both agreed, nodding and giving their assent vigorously, clearly just wanting to go. But when Elena finally set them free, Alexei turned to Eggsy without any further encouragement. 

"Have you done this hill before?" he asked, his accent thicker than his mother's, but still clearly understandable. The hill in question was the first beside the lodge and meant mostly for beginners. Up a little farther was the area for the snowboarders with their jumps and ramps, and to the side was the lifts for both. 

Eggsy shook his head, moving with them towards the lift. "Not this one, since it's my first trip here, but I've done ones kinda like this before. I'm not new to skiing, but I haven't gotten so much practice that I know for sure all the hill types I can handle. Or what the difference is with different types of snow, that kinda thing. Have you both skied a lot before?"

"We have," Alexei gestured towards Dmitry. "Our brothers haven't." 

"Not as much," Dmitry cut in. "They came with to Alpbach last year, but they just do the easy hills." 

"That's all you did last year," Alexei shot back, but Dmitry was quick to defend himself. 

"That's not true! I was doing red hills by the last day. Even you saw." 

This was clearly normal banter between the brothers. Alexei didn't bat an eyelash at his brother's chastisement and Dmitry didn't look put out by the jab. It was the same kind of banter Eggsy had known from kids back at the estates and sometimes when he'd lived on the street. 

Alexei turned to him next. "What's the best you can do?"

"Green and most blues. I think I did a red _once_ , but my dad was with me and coaching me through it. Sounds like you've got more practice'n me." Eggsy shrugged and kept a straight face, but he knew the other boys would be pleased to hear it. Nobody liked getting shown up by a stranger, and now they had something to tease him about, if they wanted. Or to challenge him and turn things into a competition, daring him to catch up to their skill and beat them.

Eggsy was right. That put him squarely at their level and he neither received any disparaging comments about it nor did the other boys look like they thought he was worth leaving behind because they could do better. Conversation turned out not to be difficult between them as they arrived at the lifts and caught one wide enough to seat three on the way up. The Orlov boys had a touch of nervousness, Eggsy could tell, even if they didn't admit it, and for once Eggsy looked like one of the cool kids with his new clothes and gear. 

"Does your family get to take lots of trips together? Do you mostly do skiing, or have you done some other things? I don't get to get out of London too often, but I like to mix things up a bit. Rock climbin', hikin', raftin', all kinds of stuff." Eggsy kept very still as the lift took them higher. The last thing he needed was to mess up and lose a piece of gear, or worse still, fall off. He didn't want to look like a fool in front of Alexei and Dmitry.

"Yeah we get to go on lots of trips. Or more like one big one and then just small stuff. It's been skiing the past two years now, and I want to try snowboarding instead." Alexei seemed to be the more talkative of the two, or maybe it just seemed that way because he was older, but Dmitry tried to jump in where he could. It worked out well for Eggsy. Alexei seemed like he might not have wanted to spend the whole time with his brother, and Dmitry seemed happy to have someone else to talk to and vie for his attention. 

Their lift ride wasn't long, and they all just managed to slide off in time without falling over. Not bad for not having practised in a while, in the case of the other two boys. 

"I wanna try that, too. Maybe we could check that out later," Eggsy offered. "It looks a lot like skateboarding, and that's something I got a _lot_ of practice with. I'm hoping it's sorta like skateboarding on snow, kinda. Have either of you ever gone to a skate park?" 

They moved as a group towards the start of the hill. Even as they got close to the edge, Eggsy thought it didn't look bad at all. He shouldn't need to worry about falling on his face.

"Nah, haven't done much skateboarding, but it still looks cool." Alexei said. "I got one of those regular snowboards for the hill by our house. Not like the pro ones, but I'm hoping I can get one." If Eggsy wasn't mistaken, it sounded like he was trying to sound more experienced, which wasn't a bad sign so long as Eggsy could keep up. 

Far down the hill in the distance they could see Elena in her big blue jacket, probably waiting for them to make their first run down the hill before she felt comfortable enough joining in. 

Alexei looked down the slope and grinned. "Ready?"

"More than ready. Let's go!" Eggsy tugged his hat down a little farther and shoved off with a brief whoop. Thankfully it seemed like he remembered how to ski very well, even after a long time without practice. He was rusty, but he hadn't gone back to square one, and the snow felt familiar and manageable. More than - light and powdery and perfect. 

He heard the other boys following behind him and even caught a glimpse once or twice, but he had to pay attention on the way down. There were other people scattered around, most heading down with him, and quite a few groups gathered together at the bottom. He only had to be careful about not running into any of them when he finally slid to a halt at the end. 

Alexei came up not far behind him, breathing hard and laughing, exhilarated at their first run. Dmitry came in a few seconds later, having widened his stance to slow his descent, probably a little less certain than his brother was. 

"Want to go again?" Alexei shouted and made straight for the lift. Both boys waved to their mother as they passed, but didn't want to stop.

"Yeah!" Eggsy thought a few more runs would help him get his bearings again, scraping the rust off his skills. He'd be prepared when the brothers finally wanted to up their game and tackle the more difficult hills. Eggsy stopped beside Alexei and the two of them waited for Dmitry to catch up so they could all take the same lift to the top again. "That wasn't too bad, other than a bit crowded. I guess that's to be expected, with a bunch of people just startin' to learn on the easier hills."

"There probably won't be so many on the others. This one's right by the lodge, too," Alexei agreed as they got in line. 

Dmitry took out his map and opened it up for them to see the whole of the trail system. It was expansive, covering the mountains all around the town and the middle. Some of the trails would take a long time to travel up to, but there were plenty of slopes they could start with, and most of the ones close to the lodge were easier. "Where do you guys want to go next?" 

"Maybe out a little further. Not too much, not to where they get _really_ hard, but we can try something a bit tougher and with less people on it. I don't want to have a long walk back to warm up if things get cold, though." Eggsy glanced at the two boys. "You prob'ly haven't gotten a chance to try much inside the lodge yet, right? I saw an arcade, and a bunch of people getting hot chocolate and cider and things at the one little cafe."

"I think our brothers went to go to the arcade, so we might stop by there later," Dmitry informed Eggsy. 

"You can come if you want," Alexei added. "We don't have to be back until it gets dark though." 

They reached the end of the line and caught the lift again, and their conversation carried on all the way up to the top of the hill. The three of them went down that slope half a dozen times before they decided they had enough practice to move on. Harry and Merlin remained silent in Eggsy's ear, although the earpiece was as snug as ever. 

Eggsy never forgot they were there, either. For once... just that once, it felt a bit comforting. Still creepy, of course, but he'd know if anything went wrong. He'd know if something happened to Harry, and Harry would come and get him if he himself got in over his head. Eggsy didn't think he'd get stuck on one of the slopes or break a leg, but he was still worried the other boys might detect something amiss about him. He'd begun to figure out something was strange with Harry, after all, and Harry was very practiced at fooling others.

It didn't seem that Alexei and Dmitry found anything strange so far, however, and Eggsy proved to be good at keeping up conversation. Their travel a little farther up the trails was actually kind of fun. At least the other two boys seemed to be enjoying their time. They didn't see Elena or the younger brothers though, and for how long they stayed out on the hills, Eggsy could only assume that she went on some trails by herself and they stayed inside. He could only guess what Mr. Orlov was doing, but judging by the silence from his earpiece, he assumed Harry and Merlin were still waiting. 

Hopefully the wait wouldn't be too long. Eggsy did want to spend some time together with Harry at the resort, not just serving as a distraction while worrying about whatever mission Harry was on. He was having fun skiing with the two boys, but he was also aware that it was all a ruse. They weren't really friends, Eggsy couldn't truly relax, and eventually they'd say their goodbyes and he'd never see or talk to the other boys again.

They started to tire not long before the sun began to descend. The boys agreed that they'd try one more hill and then go in for the night. Eggsy had been out much longer than they had although they didn't know it, but he'd managed not to show it until everyone started to feel the fatigue.

It wasn't long after that when Eggsy finally heard a voice in his head. It was on their way up the lift, and fortunately not while he was on his way down a hill and needed to concentrate, but it was Harry this time. "Eggsy," he began, tone smooth and reassuring, "Don't say anything, I know you're with the others right now, but I wanted to let you know you've done well. I've been listening for a while, and if you'd like to hit the arcade with them when you're back, you can go ahead, but you don't have to. I don't think I'm going to get the opportunity I've been waiting for tonight, regardless." 

Eggsy's expression barely flickered, and luckily the other boys didn't notice. Rather than take on a much harder challenge when they were all tired out, they'd agreed to stick to one of the easier ones. They'd moved back a bit closer to the lodge, but the hill was still fairly deserted; the other guests were also starting to feel tired and the temperature was starting to dip. Everyone would be migrating back towards the lodge's restaurant, or one of the many places in town offering dinner.

"One more time!" Alexei shouted, letting his voice echo through the trees. He grinned at Eggsy and Dmitry, but it was evident how tired he was compared to when they'd started. 

They all got into position, made sure the trail was clear, and then took off one after another. The wind might have been getting a little chillier as it whipped against the barrier of Eggsy's jacket, pulled up above his mouth to keep warm, or maybe it was just a sign of how long he'd been out. Dmitry had gotten more comfortable and he sped along just as fast as Eggsy and Alexei now.

Eggsy lagged a bit in his skills. He was cold, and tired, more so than the other boys from being out for so long. He wanted to be back inside, warm and with a chance to get some food inside of him, and possibly more. He'd already seen the arcade and had enough of the other boys for one day. They weren't really friends, and would never be.

Eggsy's skis slipped easily over the snow, cutting lines back and forth as Alexei and Dmitry joined him in zipping down the hill. The coming evening made everything all the prettier, but Eggsy was too cold and hungry to really care. He wanted a turn in the fancy jacuzzi he'd seen in their rented room.

When they finally reached the bottom, the boys were panting hard, but laughing. To Eggsy's surprise, and the high spirits of the Orlov boys, Alexei slid over and gave him a high five. "Man, I am _beat_ ," the other boy said just as Eggsy and Dmitri caught the familiar silhouette of a woman standing up at the lodge, illuminated more prominently with the sun setting and the lodge lights behind her. She had caught sight of them and was waving. 

"Looks like mama wants us to come in," Dmitri observed. 

Alexei turned around and caught sight of her, too, and waved. "You want to come back to the arcade with us?" he asked Eggsy. 

"I would, but I had a pretty long flight and everything before I got here," Eggsy lied. "Maybe tomorrow? I think I'm just gonna get dinner and crash for the night. Let me know if there's anything good to play in the arcade later, yeah?"

They said their goodbyes for the night, already looking forward to the next day of play and adventure. Eggsy felt exhausted as he trudged up toward the room, but he kept a smile on his face just in case, all the way to the door where he swiped his key card. Only once he was safely inside did he drop the act and let his shoulders slump. Piece by piece, he stripped out of his gear and hung it up to dry and air out. 

It was only a minute before Harry appeared in the hall, leaning one shoulder against it and letting his hands sit casually in his trouser pockets. There was a quiet smile resting on his face. "You look tired." 

Behind him, Eggsy could see where Harry had set up his work at the desk. His laptop and a few notepads were open and a mug of tea sat beside them. Judging from the amount of crumpled notes and other odds and ends that had been moved around the spot, Harry had likely been bored sitting there for a while. 

"Yeah. I would've been fine if I started on the slopes the same time as them, but I didn't. I'm _starving_ ," Eggsy complained. "And I could really do with one of those fancy massage baths. It'd be better if you were with me, but I know you're workin' and all. But maybe you could take a break for dinner?" Eggsy didn't know what he wanted first, food or to wash off. Both at once would be best, but impractical.

Harry's smile widened, fond and amused. "Merlin can watch over the feeds while I take a break for dinner," he agreed. "Artur is catching up on some work inside their room and he likely won't be done any time soon. I'm afraid his family will have returned from their activities by then, so I think I can get away with it." He pushed away from the wall and went to Eggsy. "Come here." Harry's hands caught his shoulders and gently massaged the tired muscles underneath. "Why don't you get changed and we'll go for dinner, then you can have a bath and I'll give you a massage before bed. What do you say to that?"

"That sounds _fantastic_ ," Eggsy murmured, voice slightly muffled as his forehead fell against Harry's sternum. He was remembering just why he'd missed Harry so badly, for his own emotional reasons and more. That, and the surprise he'd yet to spring on the man from his lost bet. The thought made him nervous, but he couldn't fathom that Harry would be upset or displeased. He seemed to want Eggsy's attention as much as Eggsy did his. "What's the menu like downstairs? I really want something like a nice steak, or a big fish fry, or _something_ with a bunch o' protein innit."

"Steak sounds good to me. I took a look at the all-around European restaurant and I think they'd have a decent selection." Harry's hands moved lower on Eggsy's back, finding all the tired muscles he hadn't known he'd been using until Harry's fingers gently dug in. Gradually, he worked his way back up to card them through Eggsy's hair before finally letting him go. "Alright then. Merlin, do you think you can keep an eye on our Mr. Orlov for an hour or so?"

Merlin's voice sounded back from both of their earpieces, eerily close and clear as if he was in the room with them. "Affirmative. I'll alert you if anything looks to be going off track. Enjoy your dinner together. Galahad, I'll give you an update afterwards."

Eggsy's eyes widened, and he turned towards Harry. "How d'you get used to that? It's like havin' a ghost followin' you around. You don't get nothin' to yourself because you're always haunted an' gonna get an opinion in your ear."

Harry chuckled. "That's trust, I suppose." He went to straighten his tie and find his jacket. "There are times when Merlin might as well be my own voice in the back of my head. So long as our objectives align, it works." He looked a little more subdued when he turned back to Eggsy, tie straightened and glasses now in place. "It doesn't have to be something you need to get used to," he amended, reaching for his jacket and pulling it over his shoulders. Harry was going to look nice for dinner on vacation, but the restaurants they'd seen on their way in were fairly up scale and he probably wouldn't be the only one. 

Eggsy tried to change into something suitably nice. He never felt as confident in the aftereffect as Harry felt - always the pretending outsider, always the fake who never knew the unspoken rules. Harry never minded or said anything, but Eggsy felt the weight of the eyes that turned towards him.

Eggsy couldn't imagine someone else playing his internal voice, although he could now start to imagine how Harry might get there. If he constantly heard the same voice pointing things out, getting him out of trouble, giving him pep talks, providing support and validation, Eggsy supposed he might count upon that voice and who it was attached to.

Harry waited patiently for Eggsy to finish and when he had, just like always, Harry's eyes lit up to look at him. The smile was back, too, as Harry rose from the bed and brushed his hand along Eggsy's shoulder. It seemed Harry was really enjoying this, having Eggsy there with him on a mission. It was one of those things that had always been off limits before, and possibly one Harry might have been uncertain about early on. Harry still had had things to hide back then, but he seemed to like being able to let Eggsy in on this now that all that was out of the way. 

They made their way back down to the lobby together, passing other kids and families along the way, some running and playing like Eggsy and the Orlov boys had been acting on the slopes earlier while adults gathered in small circles to chat over drinks at the lounge tables. Harry took them to the European restaurant and they were led to their table without a wait. 

Eggsy sank gratefully into the plush chair. He was still sore from using muscles he normally didn't have to use, and the break was a relief. Harry let him pick out an appetizer, given how hungry he was from a day out on the slopes, and Eggsy let his mind drift. Voices crowded around him in a low murmur, as with any restaurant, but Eggsy paid no attention. They didn't matter.

Harry looked perfectly comfortable in this environment, seated across from him with hands folded neatly on the table. When the appetizers arrived before their order, Harry even indulged in a few himself. He'd ordered bourbon on the rocks and was sipping it lightly as they waited. Eggsy had noticed from the old footage, but apparently it was true that having a drink or two on the job was not a problem. 

Mostly, however, Harry seemed content to let Eggsy relax. "So how do you feel about the Orlov boys?" was the only question he asked. 

"They're nice. Not really entirely my type, but nice." Eggsy shrugged. "They're like anyone else, I guess. Like competin'. Don't like bein' embarrassed. Younger brother always is keepin' an eye on what the older is doin' and tryin' to keep up so he seems cool. They're just normal, y'know? If they weren't from another country and speakin' with an accent, I wouldn't know any different. But I guess that's how it is with most people, right?"

Harry inclined his head. "Remember, everyone has their secrets. Some have more, some have bigger ones, but even normal people have them. Sometimes they stumble into secrets a little bigger than they started out with, or we wouldn't be here otherwise." The boys had no idea what their father was up to though. "The might, however, be a little too normal for your tastes, considering what you're used to." Harry's lip twitched. 

"Yeah, _considering_ ," Eggsy agreed with no small amount of sarcasm colouring his voice. His mother had had secrets. Each boyfriend had had secrets. Harry had been full of the most secrets of all, and then Eggsy had gone off and lied to a number of people in his quest to keep himself safe. For Eggsy, it wasn't strange to think that a major figure in his life might be up to more than was readily apparent, but for Alexei and Dmitry, it might be so. "They don't know, I'm gonna guess. They're like how I used to be?"

Harry nodded. "All signs suggest no one in the family knows. Not even their mother. He's in it for the money, not any ulterior motives other than that." Harry shrugged. "He may think very carefully about what happens after this trip, decide whether it's worth it to continue, but for now he's only doing it to impress his wife and his kids. Take them on holidays such as this...." Harry looked around the restaurant. "All things considered, it's not a terrible motive. But it does create awkward secrets."

"Do a lot of people do that? Just do it for money?" Eggsy imagined that the spy business would be lucrative, but also dangerous and restrictive. Business people were gone all the time, so that wasn't unusual, but it was strange to have tons of security and always be afraid about who might stop by the flat or house. "Seems weird that their mom doesn't know."

"It's one of the most common reasons people get into things like this. The need to get ahead in the world, the need to be competitive, to provide well for one's family, to be admired by one's peers. Once you get in and get going, it's hard to get out." Harry quieted as he caught sight of their server heading their way with plates in hand. He thanked the man and they were left alone again. Harry had ordered the steak after all, and it smelled delicious, but he was watching Eggsy fondly as received his own plate, no doubt amused at how hungry he was. 

Eggsy had a difficult time concentrating on the conversation with hot food in front of him. It was still growing, and also worn out from a day on the slopes. Even with the appetizers, he made quick work of his steak, and the waiter had to keep coming back to refill the bread basket. "Do they ever really get out, though? Doesn't seem like that's the sort of thing where you can just quit and move on to somethin' else."

"Depends on what they get into and how far into it they get. Our friend could get out after this if he wanted to. It's very possible he'll be forced out without further repercussions once they find out what happened. If he's smart, he'll realise how lucky he is in the end." Harry couldn't keep up with Eggsy's pace, but he didn't try either. He ate his steak and looked on as Eggsy destroyed everything in his path. Harry could not, however, hold the amused smile back at seeing such a display. At least Eggsy's manners were better than what they had once been.

"Yeah, but how common is that, compared to the ones that just croak?" Eggsy was fishing, but not only for information about the spy world. This affected him directly. If Harry wouldn't be allowed to retire, then he would die on a job. One day he'd go off on a mission and simply never come back. "Do they ever let anyone retire, or do they just stay on forever until they have an accident? I mean, that'd explain the grumpy old bloke."

"It completely depends on the organization, although I would say most do if they live long enough. However, if one does retire, one is expected to keep one's mouth shut thereafter. So perhaps I should say it is the loyal who are allowed. In Arthur's case, the job is his life. He'll never retire if he can help it." Harry finished his drink and laid his napkin down, plate finally as clean as Eggsy's. He gave Eggsy a considering look. "I would have it better than most, as would most knights, were I ever to make that choice." 

Spotting their plates cleared, their server descended upon the table again to offer Harry another drink, but he declined and paid the bill instead. 

Eggsy nodded, but his expression said it all. He was relieved, and that told Harry a good measure of his attachment and how far ahead he was thinking. Eggsy clearly wasn't considering the long game for himself. He was surreptitiously inquiring about Harry, and what his prospects were for living a full and safe life once he was done with his work in the field.

Once their server deposited the final receipt and Harry signed for his payment, they both stood and made their way back to the elevator. Other patrons flowed around them, some returning to their rooms as they were, others going to the adjacent bars and club rooms for merriment and conversation, and latecomers filling the emptied seats in the various restaurants once space opened up. Eggsy glanced at Harry, but he didn't dare move any closer while security cameras might be watching.

Once they reached their room, Harry stretched and then looked Eggsy up and down. "How about you take that bath while I check in on the Orlovs?" 

Merlin had been silent over the course of their dinner, so it was likely nothing of significance had happened, but Harry still had his duties. He removed his coat and went back to the computer, logging in while loosening his tie. Out their window, the sun had gone down already and it wouldn't be long before the sky was completely dark. Their view was quite a sight, however. They could see the hill Eggsy had been out on in the distance, lit up with bright lights and dotted with a few skiers in spite of the late hour. 

Eggsy took out his earpiece and slowly stripped down, leaving one garment after another on the bathroom floor. He wasn't out of shape by any definition of the term, but skiing made use of muscles he didn't use on a regular basis. He ached, in his legs and in parts of his back, and when the tub was full of jets of warm water Eggsy sunk into it with a pleased sigh. After a day of skiing and cold and concentrating on keeping his marks distracted and out of the way, a luxurious bath was a welcomed perk.

He'd been in the water for maybe five or ten minutes before there came a knock at the door. Eggsy hadn't closed it all the way, so Harry only hesitated while gently pushing it aside until he caught Eggsy's attention. 

"Mind if I come in?" Harry asked. He was carrying one of the pristine white towels that had been left in the closet. "I believe I offered to give you a massage. Thought this would be a good place to start while you're relaxing." He laid the towel over the side of the tub and sat down on it, rolling up his sleeves. In spite of the obvious places the offer could lead, Harry looked like he was suggesting nothing more than what he said. 

"Yeah, it's fine." Eggsy didn't truly mind. If Harry had more nefarious purposes or intentions, Eggsy thought he certainly would have gone about things in another way. Not respectful. Not minding everything that had happened between them and Eggsy's sense of privacy and independence. Harry wasn't there to intrude and sneak a peek, although he'd undoubtedly do the latter. The offer was real, and so was the sense of respect and affection. "It's ok for you to take a break? With you bein' on the job and all."

"For a short while, yes. Half the Orlovs are back in their room and have been for some time now." Harry beckoned Eggsy over to him where Eggsy could sit on the ledge and rest his arms against the side adjacent where Harry sat to allow Harry access to his back and shoulders. In spite of the water being so hot, Harry's hands weren't cold when they ran down the back of his neck and pressed over his shoulders. Harry's fingers started out with lighter touches, letting Eggsy get used to the feeling of fingers slowly massaging into the muscles that were only starting to loosen up. "You're going to be sore tomorrow," Harry commented and Eggsy didn't need to look to know the man was wearing a fond smile.

"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you do stuff you're not used to. Dmitry and Alexei are gonna be too." Eggsy sank into the touches, only then just becoming aware of how much tension remained that wasn't being unravelled by the heated water. He glanced up, smiling fondly at the bit of hair that had escaped Harry's sleek, controlled image. "I do alright keepin' em distracted?"

"Very much so." Harry smiled crookedly. "It's not easy to keep a family of four children occupied, but you managed a very good start. If the other boys go out tomorrow, and I think they will, I may have the opportunity I need." Harry's hands worked their way down Eggsy's back, lower and lower, forcing him to relax the way he was seated and lean into the edge even more. Harry spent long minutes on his lower back, but didn't descend any farther than that. "Think you'll be up to it for another day?"

"Yeah. I think I can do it, no problem. I've skated harder," Eggsy bragged. He had in truth, but the slopes were much steeper than a ramp, and there was much more of a risk of breaking something than getting scraped up and bruised skating. Pride was on the line though, and future opportunities. Eggsy wanted to be included in this part of Harry's life, and that meant not messing up. "You're gonna owe me once it's all done though."

Harry's smile turned a touch wry. "I already do owe you." He reached up and ran his fingers, warmed by the water, through Eggsy's hair gently, almost playfully. "You're aiming to rack up quite a lot after this trip, aren't you?" His hands moved to Eggsy's sides, gradually climbing up to his ribcage. Harry was firm, and careful not to tickle. He still had no idea what Eggsy had been up to at the arcade earlier. 

The boy grinned. "Damn right, I am. I'm gonna have you wrapped all around my fingers. Not that you're gonna mind, but you're gonna be _mine_ after all this. 's gonna be nice gettin' spoiled." Eggsy leaned back, content to get pampered and certain that a lot more would be coming his way. He'd won his bet, after all.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "You make me worry at the sound of that." He sounded suspicious, but the worry was more put-upon than anything. Eggsy could tell by the curl at the corner of his mouth. He worked his way up to the back of Eggsy's neck and watched with quiet satisfaction as Eggsy's head tilted back into the touch. "You're going to develop a taste for plotting things like this if I'm not careful." 

"Who says I don't already got a taste? I got taught by the best, y'know," Eggsy protested. It was difficult to think with fingers carding through his hair and circling his neck and spine. The boy imagined lips in place of fingers and it became even more of a task to organize his thoughts. "Like you ain't mine already. We both know you are."

Harry gave a soft snort, then bent to kiss the top of Eggsy's head, the only place where he wouldn't get wet. "Yes, yes. I should leave you to your plotting," he teased, but Harry did have to get back to work. Even if that work was just sitting in front of a computer, waiting for the right moment. He spent another lingering minute on Eggsy's shoulders and neck, before he sighed. "Alright. I best be getting back to it. Come keep me company when you're ready?" He slid off the towel and used it to dry his hands. It was funny, but Harry looked as happy to have given Eggsy that massage as Eggsy had felt to receive it. 

"Yeah, I'll be out in a bit to distract you from all that serious work, just by sittin' in the same room." Eggsy had packed well. He had his laptop and his Gameboy with a pack of games and spare batteries, and the room had a telly with all kinds of channels. He wasn't going to be bored, although he was so tired out from a day racing around the outdoors that he might very well fall asleep soon.

"You got me. Truly living on the edge, here." Harry chuckled and hung up the towel as he went to the door. He glanced back for one last look at Eggsy, taking in the way the boy was relaxing against the jets of water, and finally, with a smile and a sigh, allowed himself to leave.

Harry left the door the way he'd found it, closing it only slightly, and Eggsy heard his soft footsteps pad across the room back to his desk no doubt. Harry's soft murmur came a moment later, but he sounded relaxed and unworried as he caught up with Merlin. 

Eggsy reflected on the strangeness of it all. He'd been startled by Merlin's voice, earlier, but he'd expected to feel angry. That's what he'd felt all along, after all - anger that Harry trusted and liked him, that he got to see so much of Eggsy’s private life and of Harry's. That he was there on missions when Eggsy wasn't, knew things that Eggsy didn't. He'd expected to feel nothing but resentment, but the voice in his ear had felt natural on the slopes, guiding him towards what was needed and telling him what wasn't.

Harry sounded as casual as Eggsy had ever heard him in the other room. It was too muffled to make out more than a few words unless he really tried, but from what he could tell, Harry sounded somewhat tired, and he and Merlin were talking about nothing in particular. Just keeping each other company over a long stakeout. One that Eggsy was invited in on this time. 

Eggsy got curious and, if he would admit it to himself, jealous. He got up out of the warm and comforting water streams and dried himself off with the nearby towels, then wrapped a robe around himself and crept near the door. He hadn't gotten to listen in to a live conversation between the two men often before.

It sounded like Harry was yawning. "No, I know that's not how you cook a brisket, but that's the way _I_ like it. I don't think I've smoked anything since I took that cooking class years ago. I'd rather not attempt it again." It was not what Eggsy was expecting. If he had his earpiece he might have been able to catch Merlin's end of the conversation. Harry listened for a bit and then groaned, objecting to something Merlin said. "I have to say I prefer the prosecco," Harry countered. "No, I know, but it doesn't matter."

Eggsy remembered the time they'd shared the drink, and he smiled. He couldn't remember Harry smoking anything during the times he was serving dinner. Other things, but never smoked meat. Eggsy wished he could hear the rest of the conversation. Whatever Merlin was saying was evidently meant for Harry's ears alone, which meant the boy was all the more keen to listen in.

Harry went on in that vein for a while, casually arguing back and forth with whatever Merlin was saying on the other end. It was impossible to tell whether he knew Eggsy might be listening to this or not, but he probably wasn't worried about being overheard. It seemed like the everyday banter that came with time spent waiting on missions, unimportant but pleasant. Harry even sighed at one point and Eggsy swore he heard him yawn, and then laugh at something Merlin said. It was easy to imagine Merlin scolding him for being lazy or something to that effect. 

Eggsy found he couldn't leave his spot, ear pressed to the door. This was a side of the two men he didn't really get to see, and he still wasn't certain exactly _why_ Harry was friends with Merlin. It made a certain sense with him being Harry's lifeline on missions, but not really outside of it. Their personalities were too different.

They seemed perfectly capable of keeping each other from being bored, however, as the conversation turned from dinner to classical music, it seemed. Harry mentioned something about setting Tchaikovsky to an alarm in the mornings since he simply couldn't stand beeping anymore, and Eggsy had heard the quiet sound of the music under Harry's door more than once in the early hours. From there, Harry's smooth voice meandered to a poem by Goethe, the title of which Eggsy didn't quite catch because it didn't sound English. 

What had started as pure possessive jealousy turned to fascinated curiosity. He'd seen more sides of Harry than others had, for certain, but this was another part of him Eggsy hadn't necessarily seen. Unguarded, bantering with an old trusted friend. So much had been hidden from him due to Harry's desire to keep him in the dark in order to keep him close, and later out of worries about what might drive him away. Hearing Harry be so much himself, without any shielding or restraint, made something in Eggsy's heart warm and grow painful in its tenderness. He wanted to reach out, but opening the door would break the spell.

Gradually, Harry and Merlin's conversation quieted with casual silence interspersed between their topics. Harry was getting to that point where he really did sound tired. Not in the sense that he was going to crash at any moment, just that he was comfortable and winding down for the day. That was familiar. It was the way Harry got when they'd been up for a late night just sitting in the living room reading or with the telly on, and Harry would have his head propped up with one hand, progressively slipping lower. Sometimes he even spread out along the whole couch. 

Eggsy ran his hand along the door. It wasn't like home. There wasn't a fine wood grain under his fingertips. This was a modern ski resort, built with modern materials. It was smooth as plexiglas, and probably just as fabricated. 

Eggsy's fingers touched the doorknob and twisted, slowly. He got to his feet. If things were as wound down as they sounded, interruption wouldn't be unwelcome at that point.

Very much as he'd imagined, Harry was sitting back in his chair at the desk, feet kicked out under it, emphasising the long line of his body. Eggsy drew his attention away from the computer screen and he smiled. If he'd looked like he was about to fall asleep before, it was gone now. His face quietly lit up at the sight of Eggsy. "Feeling better? Merlin and I were just chatting. Your earpiece is on the table if you want it, but I'll probably be turning in for the night soon." If it wasn't likely the Orlov's would be leaving their room tonight, Harry probably wanted to get up early. 

"Yeah, much better. Just missed you, is all." Harry didn't need to know that he'd been spying. It shouldn't really matter, either. Nothing he'd said had been top secret, or anything he should want to keep from Eggsy. He simply hadn't been as open because he wasn't used to it. "Everythin' going alright? Given that I know you didn't get your chance to move today an' all."

Harry yawned but nodded. "So long as we can get our chance tomorrow, we're alright." He glanced down at Eggsy's robe. "You certainly do look comfortable. Enjoying the luxurious life of a spy yet?" Harry raised a brow in feigned curiosity and swivelled away from the desk. "Merlin, would you be so kind as to have your team take over observation for the night? I think I'll be turning in shortly." He stretched and cracked his neck before standing and rummaging through his suitcase for something to wear to bed. 

"I don't think the spy bit is the one that leads to luxurious stuff," Eggsy countered. He'd seen Harry trapped in that warehouse room, and experienced life on the streets, and even seen a bit of the mission tapes. The spy life might let someone have enough money for brief periods of relaxation, but it didn't cause it directly. If anything, it caused the opposite. "You done for the night? Or d'you gotta keep on watchin' and waitin' in case something changes?"

"Done for the night. However, I'll be leaving this in, in case anything changes on that front." Harry tapped his ear. "I'm going to clean up and get ready for bed. Hoping to be up for an early start tomorrow." Harry's fingers brushed the collar of Eggsy's robe as he passed, that small smile still on his face when he looked down. He took out his earpiece and set it on a nearby table only before disappearing into the toilet where it wasn't long before Eggsy heard the sounds of water running and then the shower being turned on. 

Eggsy couldn't help a feeling of disappointment. It soon transitioned to a stubborn sort of determination, however. Harry was here working, and he'd involved Eggsy in the work, but that didn't mean he could blow off and ignore him.

After a moment of surveying the room, Eggsy stripped off, abandoning things on the floor, and turned the knob leading back to the bathroom.

Just as he'd thought, Harry was in the shower, running shampoo through his hair, when Eggsy caught sight of him through the glass door. Harry paused to rinse the suds from his scalp before he looked around the edge. He opened his mouth to say something, but then seemed to take in the sight of Eggsy's nudity and think twice. "Everything alright?" Harry asked, although it was clear from his face he figured that probably wasn't the reason Eggsy was joining him. 

Eggsy didn't respond. At least, not so much in words. The door clicked shut behind him, and then it was a short matter of steps to close the distance between himself and the glass-enclosed stall, all clouded with hot water vapour. It slid open easily enough, and Eggsy pressed forward. The hot water against his skin wasn't nearly as much of a shock as that of warm skin against his own as he backed Harry up against the tiled wall.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Harry muttered, quietly amused. Already he sounded a little breathless, but he let Eggsy do as he liked and went with the motion until he could go no further. "I'm guessing this isn't anything to do with what I owe you?" Harry asked, sounding fairly sure this was just Eggsy wanting to enjoy more of the night before they went to bed. 

"Nah, nothin' like that. That's a surprise for later." The boy wrapped arms around Harry’s bare torso, content to feel the solid form in his grip and the warm water spattering over both of them. Whatever else demanded his attention, Harry was right there with him at that moment. "I could use a little somethin' though, I guess, given how hard I worked today. That I'm sore an' all."

Harry gave a quiet laugh. "Sounds like you could. I was going to offer to get your legs once I was out of the shower and you'd settled down for bed, but...this is quite nice, too. Either way, you'll sleep soundly tonight I'm sure." Eggsy felt Harry's growing interest nudging against his side and the man's hands drew down his back in a mimic of the massage he'd given Eggsy not long ago, just lighter this time, meant for Harry to enjoy as much as Eggsy. Eggsy's hair hadn't quite dried, and so it didn't feel as weird when one of Harry's wet hands carded through it. Just warm. "What would you like me to do?"

"Jus'... be here, is all. 'm too tired for much of anythin' else." Eggsy didn't quite know how to explain it. He didn't want Harry distracted enough that he couldn't stay safe and accomplish his mission, but it was frustrating that he wasn't more involved. In a way, he'd become used to being the constant focus of Harry's attention, and it was strange to be somewhere together, ostensibly on vacation, and have Harry almost be absent in a way.

Eggsy turned until one ear was flat against Harry's chest, able to make out the man's heartbeat past the sound of water. "Is it weird I missed you, even though we're both in the same spot?"

"Perhaps." Harry ran his hands gently down the back of Eggsy's neck and let his weight settle against the wall. "You're not used to me being distracted, are you?" The water was just the right temperature, and wide enough to catch them both in its spray without hitting Eggsy in the face, but they were used to taking showers together now. This was normal, and yet not. "You should know that I don't mean to ignore you." There was a reason work was called work, and Harry had a lot of it to do. Eggsy was just rarely there in person for it before. 

"Yeah, I know. I know why. I guess I'm just not used to it. When you went on trips for this stuff before, it was different because you weren't right there and you sometimes called back. Like, even back home, I could interrupt you for a bit when you were in your office. But it's too important not to do that right now. It's strange, bein' on vacation with you but not." Eggsy supposed that it was strange being _anywhere_ with Harry again. Even sharing space in the shower together had an air of newness, and some residual tension. They both were still feeling out the boundaries of their healing relationship and what it all entailed. "Are you havin' fun, at least? Even though you're not out on the slopes yet?"

Harry smiled, but there was something sad in it. "You don't know how much it means to me to have you here with me." He took Eggsy's face in both hands, emphasizing the point. "I know I'll get to enjoy the slopes later. And if this trip really does come down to the wire and there's no time left, then I'll get to go out on the next one. What I'm really enjoying is seeing you enjoy what you can here. Even if you're working, too." Harry's hands slid down Eggsy's back and he let Eggsy take that in. Harry often did these missions alone. Even when he was with another agent, those agents weren't Eggsy, and Eggsy knew that he was someone Harry actually _liked_ spending time with. 

Eggsy was quiet for a long time, enjoying the warmth and Harry pressed up against him, his focus centred on him. Perhaps it was selfish, but when he didn't feel threatened by it, Harry's obsession felt nice. Particularly when he'd gotten so little attention and concern in other times in his life.

Eggsy wondered what being a spy might be like. He remembered Harry's stories, about waiting and pretending to be other people and then waiting some more. He remembered the mission videos too, and how they made his stomach tighten. He could imagine a bit what life was like for Merlin via the bits and pieces of hints - enclosed and solitary, dysfunctional enough that electronic ears and eyes were what he found comfort in now in life beyond the missions. Surely there was a balance to be found. Being an agent wouldn't be all fun and games on the slopes like Eggsy was doing now, but it couldn't be completely terrible either. Eggsy didn't think there would be anything left of Harry himself if it was nothing but draining and unhealthy.

Harry threaded his fingers through Eggsy's hair, enjoying the moment for a little longer until he had to shut the water off. The suds in his own hair had rinsed away, and there was no reason to linger any longer. He helped Eggsy out of the shower and took a towel to help dry him off before Harry took one for himself. That was something he'd done ever since Eggsy was years younger--a sweet and intimate gesture between them that Harry might not even have been conscious of. One Eggsy would have never been the recipient of if they hadn't been intimate with each other. 

Once Harry was dry, he found a robe for himself and tied it around his waist. His hair was mussed and wet and his glasses were gone. He looked every bit the unkempt, early morning version of the Harry Eggsy knew back at home, not the spy. 

"That's better." Eggsy liked the spy, of course, but he liked Harry better. It wasn't that one of them was _more_ Harry, because they both were, but this Harry was the one he'd gotten to know first - the one who'd hurt, when Eggsy thought it might have all been a lie and never a real person. "You goin' to sleep, or do you gotta take care of more stuff tonight?"

"Sleep, I think. Need to be up early tomorrow." Harry went through his suitcase until he found his pyjamas and began putting them on, leaving the robe haphazardly tossed over the chair. He finger combed his hair back into place when he was done and he looked a little more presentable, but Eggsy knew all that would be lost by morning. Eggsy looked good with messy bedhead hair. Harry, on the other hand, looked ridiculous. 

Harry turned out the lights except for the one on the night stand and drew the covers back on the bed he'd chosen, but paused, glancing back at Eggsy. "Would you like to share tonight?"

"Is that safe? Like... do we gotta worry that someone might sneak in?" Eggsy had no idea how much and where Merlin was watching, in terms of hotel security, and even he would have to sleep sometimes. Eggsy thought that must mean that either there were times he wasn't keeping watch over their door, or another agent would be taking over his shift briefly while he rested. Which meant a stranger looking out through Harry's glasses and noticing things they shouldn't.

Harry shook his head. "If anyone sneaks into our room, that will be the least of our worries. And I'd rather have you close if that were to happen anyway." Eggsy glanced to the pair of glasses sitting on the night stand and Harry caught on with a nod of his head. "They're off. Merlin's team will be watching the hotel and Orlov's door over the night, but not in here unless I turn the glasses on. Even our earpieces are off for the moment, unless they wish to send me a message. They are supposed to be letting us sleep, after all." Harry smiled. "So that means it's up to you."

Eggsy exhaled, then nodded. "Just so it's not dangerous. I wasn't sure how all that worked, with people watchin' over you when you're on a mission. I would have thought it might be extra dangerous when you're tryin' to sleep, y'know? Like, that people would try to get the jump on you by sneakin' through the door or window or somethin', so you'd have to turn on extra security just in case you don't wake up in time."

Harry nodded and let Eggsy into the bed beside him, wrapping the covers around his shoulders. "That can happen on particularly dangerous missions. If I need to sleep in a dangerous position, having someone play lookout is helpful, even if it might only buy me an extra second to orient myself upon waking, but there's no need here." Harry smoothed Eggsy's hair back and then draped an arm around his middle, just to have some contact between them. He didn't look as tired as Eggsy felt after the long day, but Harry would fall asleep soon enough. 

Despite the muscle aches and the strangeness of being with Harry on a mission, Eggsy drifted off quickly, lulled in particular by the sense of security conveyed by the arm around him and the warm presence next to him. Eggsy was no longer so used to constantly being outside and constantly moving. The fresh, cold air and exercise had taken its toll. After a few minutes, the boy's breathing slowed and evened out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being patient with this story. We appreciate all your comments even if we may have been poor at following up lately. Know that they mean a lot to us still.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NFSR is BACK! Thank you to everyone who waited so long. I know it's not Friday, but I wanted to get this chapter out as soon as possible. We should now be posting the remaining chapters once every two weeks or so, so stay on the lookout.

The next morning, Eggsy woke to the alarm sounding and Harry reaching over him to turn it off. The man settled back down next to him for a minute, scooting in so he could wrap his arms around Eggsy, and then pressed a kiss to his temple before sighing. With clear reluctance, Harry moved away and climbed out of bed, but made sure to tuck Eggsy back into the covers securely before he left to brush his teeth and get dressed.

Harry disappeared and the sound of the water running from the toilet came on a moment later, and then there were soft footsteps and the sound of his toothbrush as he padded back across the room to check on the computer.

Eggsy yawned and snuggled back down into the blankets, making a nest of it. He wasn't ready to get up yet, even though he could already feel the emptiness in his stomach that would demand to be filled soon. The bed was too comfortable, and the sounds coming from the room's desk were soothing - soft, rhythmic tapping and clicks as Harry connected to the Kingsman network and got ready for the day's work. Or rather, the day's waiting before he could accomplish the day's work.

Eventually, Harry got up again and went back to the toilet where Eggsy heard the muffled sounds of water, followed by gargling mouthwash. Harry shaved, dressed, and finished the rest of his morning routine quietly, letting Eggsy rest for as long as he could.

After some time, however, Harry went to the shades and opened them a little, letting in pools of morning sunlight, before he sat down at the edge of the bed and drew his hand down Eggsy's back. "Time to get up and face the day, I'm afraid."

"Ugh," Eggsy groaned. Sleep had only emphasised just how much certain muscles had remained unused. Skiing used a lot more than plain old running or walking, or even some simple sports. "Can we get breakfast downstairs? Or do you gotta get started on work right away? I don't really wanna be down there by myself. I'd rather order room service if you can't come with me."

"We can go down for breakfast. I'll just need to take the glasses and my earpiece and be open to slipping away should the Orlovs leave their room. They haven't yet, and by the sound of things, they're probably still asleep." Harry patted Eggsy's side affectionately and then stood. That probably meant that all had been quiet overnight, too, since Harry hadn't been awoken by Merlin's team. Whatever he'd read in their messages to him this morning did not sound urgent.

Eggsy perked up a little. It'd only be for a little bit, but at least he'd have _some_ time together with Harry that felt like a vacation before they had to split up again for the day. Perhaps by the time the Orlovs got up, Eggsy would even have had enough time to stretch the knots out of his muscles. Someplace as fancy as the lodge had to have some kind of spa attached, or a sauna. Or Eggsy could use the jacuzzi jets on the tub in their room. "What kinda food do you think they have? Normal stuff, or fancy stuff?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for waffles. I saw one of the restaurants had a fairly decent breakfast selection yesterday." Harry rose from the bed and stretched. He still didn't look entirely awake yet himself, but Eggsy knew he would be after a few cups of coffee. Harry was often like that in the mornings until he'd put a pot on and started making breakfast. He went to the computer and began typing in a message to let Merlin's team know they were heading to eat in a few minutes.

"Waffles sound great. I bet they're really good at makin' them here. All those, y'know, German related countries are s'pposed to be good at that, right? Like, France is good at crepes and omelettes, and Belgium and the Swiss and stuff are good at... waffles and chocolate, and stuff." Eggsy didn't really know what else to associate with the different countries. Even after the few trips he'd taken with Harry before, he still wasn't familiar with much outside of England and the parts of France that could be gotten to quickly and cheaply by ferry.

Harry laughed quietly at Eggsy's attempts to match breakfast items by country. "It looked like they had quite a selection." He finished up at the computer, shut it off, and then went to find his shoes. He was going to be waiting a few minutes for Eggsy to get ready, but he didn't mind. When he was finished, he settled back into the chair and pulled out the pile of menus they'd collected the day prior, including some the lodge carried for restaurants up and down the street.

Bolstered by the thought of a good breakfast, Eggsy moved a bit faster, shutting himself in the loo to get ready for the day. The water ran as he fixed his hair with a wet comb, washed his face, and quickly brushed his teeth. When he emerged and made a beeline for his suitcase to pick out the day's change of clothes, Harry was still flipping through menus. "Anythin' good?"

"Plenty." Harry set the menus aside and watched as Eggsy dressed, a small smile at the corner of his mouth. One would nearly miss it if one didn't know how to read Harry's expressions. He kept his gaze as respectful as he could, but it was clear that Harry enjoyed watching. When Eggsy was finished, Harry stood and checked that he had his wallet. He slid the glasses onto his nose, but waited to press the slim button on the side to activate them. He offered Eggsy another small smile. "Shall we?"

Prompted by his growling stomach, Eggsy nodded with enthusiasm and led the way to the door. He hesitated only a little at entering the hallway, knowing that the Orlovs’ room wasn’t far. Harry might even be listening in as they passed, so he put his hands in his pockets and strode casually. There might have been a time when he’d be nervous to lead the way past a mark’s door, especially if it was Harry, who had been doing this for years, decades even, following. But today Eggsy felt like he had the right. 

The touch of a smile at the corner of Harry’s mouth didn’t escape him, however. Just as Eggsy suspected, he remained quiet until they reached the lift and pressed the call button. Then Harry glanced at the ascending numbers at the top and let out a hum of consideration. “If you had to choose the next vacation, what would you like to do?” He kept his eyes on the lift as he spoke, timing it so that the doors dinged and swished open right when he posed the question. 

Eggsy thought about the question as they stepped inside. “Dunno.” They’d been rock climbing, swimming along sandy beaches, and now skiing. Eggsy thought about whether he’d want to go to exotic places with cultures as different from their own Western ways of living, or thriving, vibrant places that fit better with what he was used to—perhaps America. New York or Los Angeles, visiting Hollywood and learning to surf. Or whether he’d like to explore more of England than he’d ever been able to before, places closer to home. It was a comforting thought, that that may be an option. “S’ppose we’ll see. If we don’t get much of one this time ‘round.” 

The doors dinged again and opened to an open hall bustling with the early morning crowd. Harry patted Eggsy’s shoulder and stepped out, looking around for the restaurants they’d seen the day prior. “I’m ready for that waffle,” he announced, and he and Eggsy made their way to find breakfast. 

Conversation was light that early in the morning, and topics were limited, but Eggsy got to enjoy German pancakes and Harry got his fill of coffee. Eggsy had some as well, knowing it would help perk him up in case he needed to go out again. If Harry received any news from Merlin, he didn’t give any indication, and as far as Eggsy could see, he kept his glasses pointed mainly at his plate or at Eggsy himself in a natural manner, no curious glances to their surroundings. Eggsy never really did catch Harry doing much of that though. When Harry took in a room, he did so in the blink of an eye the moment he entered. It was a skill Eggsy would have to ask him about someday. 

“So today’s it then, innit?” Eggsy asked after they’d more or less pushed their plates aside and were finishing up the last of the coffee. “If we don’t get it done, then we ain’t gonna get another shot.” He made sure not to mention any details, but he wanted to see what Harry had to say. He’d been so relaxed about it all so far, even if he’d been dedicated to his earpiece and his laptop, so Eggsy guessed it would be hard to tell when Harry thought it was coming down to the wire. 

Harry conceded with a nod of his head and another sip of coffee. “That it is. But I wouldn’t worry too much. A day can be quite a long time if you think about it.” He offered Eggsy a small smile, but Eggsy just looked sceptical. Harry almost made some quip about having to trust him, but thought better of it at the last second. He’d learnt his lesson more times than he could count now. Instead, he sighed. “Best get back to it, I suppose.” 

Harry paid the bill and swallowed the last of his coffee before rising and waiting for Eggsy. 

Eggsy’s muscles were perhaps more sore this morning than they were the day prior, but once he was on his feet and had made it a few steps, things got a little easier. He refused to ask for Harry’s hand, however, or even admit he was very sore at all. Some stretches and light movement when they were back up in their room would probably help loosen his limbs, and then he wouldn’t have trouble out on the slopes. 

“Harry?” He waited for the man to turn and raise an eyebrow, just as much to catch up as for the effect. “How the bloody hell would you have done this much ski’n if it weren’t for me?” 

Immediately Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Eggsy.” He turned, not deigning to give the boy an answer until they were halfway through the lobby. Apparently the comment was eating at him. “I’ll have you know that even at my age, when it is required of me, I can manage some of the most arduous tactical courses designed for strength, agility, and endurance out there. And one would be unwise to compare the training required for such courses to a day of skiing.” 

They joined a small congregation near the lifts and Eggsy refrained from making a comeback. If it wasn’t just his imagination, however, Harry held his nose a little higher in the air than it normally was. So, lightly, as they were all filing into the lift, he elbowed Harry in the stomach, to which the man gave a satisfying grunt. Eggsy smirked and otherwise pretended nothing happened as they rose, leaving Harry to rub at his side. 

They exited the lift with another couple on their floor and discovered the Orlovs had awoken. Mr. Orlov was yawning and filing his children out of the room while they talked and shoved one another. They must have just opened the door because Harry had given no indication he’d been notified of their activity via Merlin. Then again, he probably wouldn’t have said anything while they were in a crowded lift. 

“Hey Eggsy,” Alexei called as they approached, “You wanna hit the slopes again later?” Behind him, the two younger boys sized Eggsy up and then turned rapid fire questions in Russian to Dmitry and their father, who really looked like he could use a cup of coffee before dealing with his children. 

“Yeah I’m up for it if you are.” That was the plan, so Eggsy went with it. “You all headin’ down to breakfast?” 

This could be their chance, Eggsy realised. Breakfast would surely take up a half hour at the very least, probably more likely a full hour with four kids. He might not even have to do anything if Harry could get in and out while they were away. 

Over his shoulder, Harry nodded politely to Mr. Orlov. “Good morning.” 

The man returned the sentiment to Harry while his eldest son answered Eggsy. “Yeah. Then we’ll be out later. Maybe meet up downstairs in a bit?” 

Eggsy glanced to Harry quickly, just to look like he was getting confirmation. “I’ll be there.” When Harry nodded, Eggsy smiled like he was looking forward to it as much as Alexei and Dmitry seemed to be. 

Mr. Orlov was calling for his wife who could be heard from somewhere deep inside the room calling back. The sound of the shower running was just barely audible under her voice. 

As Eggsy waved a farewell for the moment and he and Harry moved down the hall, he caught sight of Mr. Orlov shaking his head and pushing the last of the boys out the door before shutting it behind him. Eggsy’s breath caught in his throat, but the family headed down the hall, all except for their mother. 

Unable to slow down for too long, Harry unlocked their door and they slipped inside. Immediately, Harry went for the computer, speaking to Merlin in his ear. “Yes, she’s there. Is the shower still running?” He hadn’t meant to leave Eggsy by the door, but he had to act quickly in case there was some way they could get her out of the room, or figure out how long she would be if she was still getting ready. He pulled up the audio feed from the bug outside their door and turned up the volume. 

It was faint, but the sound of the shower running was still there. 

Eggsy went to look over Harry’s shoulder. Even though there wasn’t anything to see inside the room itself, Harry made space for him. The other cameras inside the lodge were tracking the rest of the family as they made their way down to the same restaurant Harry and Eggsy had just dined in minutes ago. 

“Dammit,” Harry swore under his breath. “How long does she usually take to get ready?” He sighed at something Merlin must have said on the other side. “I know, four boys, the husband, one toilet, but this is ruining our chance.” He enlarged the camera that was focused inside the restaurant, showing the family settling in with menus in hand, the younger boys and Dmitry still bickering at one another while their father tried to settle them down. 

Eggsy glanced around for his own earpiece, frustrated at being left out of the conversation. Even though he didn’t have much to offer just then, he wanted to hear more than just Harry’s half, especially when Harry wasn’t paying attention to him otherwise. Once it was in his ear, he could hear something from the other side. Typing. 

“It’s going to be hard to say,” Merlin’s voice came in crystal clear. “Either she plans to finish and then join them for breakfast, or she plans to use the time to relax and eat later. We’re just going to have to watch the door.” His tone was clipped and professional, although Eggsy thought he could maybe imagine a bit of annoyance in it. Or maybe that was just how Merlin always sounded, because that was indeed how Merlin always sounded whenever Eggsy heard him, his conversation with Harry last night notwithstanding. And Eggsy didn’t hear him then, besides. 

Harry was rubbing his chin while he watched the screen, clearly trying to think of anything they were missing. 

“We’ll have another chance, though, won’t we?” Eggsy spoke up. “If the kids are all goin’ out, an’ that just leaves the two of ‘em here, maybe they won’t just stay in their room?” It seemed likely. Elena wouldn’t be getting ready unless she planned to go out. Unless, of course, she planned to stay in with her husband…. Eggsy didn’t want to think about that. He guessed it was more likely that they would want to do something, either go out on the slopes themselves or go somewhere in the town. Artur had been working most of the day prior. He wouldn’t want to work their whole trip. Or so Eggsy hoped. 

“Likely,” Harry confirmed. He sat back in his chair and sighed, eyes still on the screen. They were all thinking the same thing. Waiting, again. Although this time their wait could be another hour, or it could be fifteen minutes, all depending on how quickly Elena Orlov spent getting ready in the morning. 

Harry turned to Eggsy. “Are you going to be alright out there today? Not too sore, are you?” Eggsy may have joked about it earlier, but Harry was serious now. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s nothin’.” Eggsy shrugged. “I’ll just stretch a bit. Walk around. Get used to it. That sorta thing.” He went to stand in front of the mirror and took himself in for a moment. His neatly combed hair was now dried and a bit tousled from running his hands through it, but it was in a way that looked good, like he’d meant to put it that way. He’d gotten a haircut a few weeks back, and it suited him. Getting them regularly now, from professional barbers instead of the girls at the flat who frequently cut and dyed each other’s hair for fun, was a pretty big improvement. It also still felt a bit odd. Dressing in nice clothes, too. He could remember the days when his mum had been the one cutting his hair and letting him pick out clothes only from thrift shops. 

He shook those thoughts from his mind and twisted his torso first, arms out and swinging side to side to loosen up. His legs had it the worst, so he left those for last. 

Harry looked on from his chair. Every now and then he glanced back at the monitor, but nothing of importance seemed to be happening. If he truly got distracted, Merlin would be able to alert him, so he just watched as Eggsy moved. It was a little odd to be watched while stretching, to be sure, but Harry kept it as non-intrusive as he could. Harry’s casual gaze wasn’t an unusual thing in Eggsy’s life. 

Then something caught Harry’s eye. It was while Eggsy was getting ready to stretch his legs, bracing one foot behind him and pushing the other out, hands on his forward thigh. Harry got up from his chair and didn’t say anything at first, not until Eggsy glanced up at him when he came over. 

“You’ll want to do that while bracing against something, so you can hold down on your leg and stretch the muscle longer.” Harry tapped the bedpost, indicating Eggsy should put his foot against it. “Turn a little bit more and you’ll get the muscle better,” he instructed as Eggsy looked for something opposite the bed he could use to push back against. The edge of the entertainment centre worked just fine. 

He got down into position and had to admit, he did feel the stretch better, even though he had to go slowly. “Like this?” he asked, looking back up at Harry. Harry was close, but at a polite distance and kept his hands to himself. He was doing that all the time, now. Eggsy admittedly did appreciate it sometimes, but other times, times when Harry would have offered a casual, thoughtless touch, Eggsy did miss it. 

Harry smiled and nodded. “Just right. Hold that for at least a minute.” He went back to his chair and sat down with a sigh, although not an unhappy one. “Do that with each of your stretches, and then repeat them, but move from one to the next a little quicker. You’ll want to warm up your muscles as much as stretch them.” 

Eggsy nodded and got to it, focusing on turning this way and that and pulling each pose as taut as he could. Going through them all the second time he found was a little less painful, so he decided to give it a third round, a little quicker still, and by the time he was finished, he decided that was probably as good as it was going to get without more rest. He noticed Harry watching him out of the corner of his eye all the while, even when the man pretended to be watching the Orlovs. 

When Eggsy was back on his feet and coming over to take a look at the monitor, Harry offered him a smile and a sigh. “I’m afraid it doesn’t look like Elena is going to make it down in time before they’re done.” Eggsy leaned against Harry’s chair and looked over his shoulder. Merlin had been quiet over the connection, but it had to be assumed that was because nothing was happening. “Think you can stand to wait a little longer?” Harry tilted his head back to meet Eggsy’s gaze. 

Eggsy gave a long suffering sigh. “If I have to.” It wasn’t much fun getting his hopes up, getting ready to go, thinking this would be it, and then having to wait _again_ , even if it was out of their control. He looked from the screen to Harry and couldn’t imagine sitting there all day, just waiting. He thought about getting his Game Boy out and playing for a while, just for something to do, but the idea died almost as quickly as he thought of it. He was too anxious to concentrate. Eggsy pushed off Harry’s chair and sat down at the edge of the bed. “What are we gonna do if she stays in there, or they come back up?” 

Harry at least had the decency to look contrite. “I’m sorry, Eggsy. If you’d like to go down there, you may. You could have a go at the arcade. You did say that you’d meet the boys later, so they’ll be expecting you eventually, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to stay here. And if you do go, you’ll need to take your ear piece in case we need your help.”

Eggsy had assumed as much. He flopped backwards onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m never gonna be able to watch Bond again without thinking how much time he must spend doin’ nothin’ that the movies don’t show. It’s gonna be ruined.” Harry gave a half-hearted chuckle from where he sat, and Eggsy wriggled enough to see him and still be comfortable. “What you gonna do even if I get all the kids out on the hills and the parents don’t leave?” Eggsy thought he should ask now, while they were killing time, rather than later. He didn’t want to be caught unexpected if he had to help in some way. 

“I imagine I’ll have to create some kind of diversion if that is the case,” Harry admitted. “Send them a call from the front desk, something likely to draw the both of them, such as their credit card being declined, and that should have them out of the room for at least fifteen minutes, which would be just enough time. I’d rather avoid it if we can though. Anything out of the ordinary puts people on edge.”

Eggsy bit his lip and nodded along. It didn’t sound perfect by any means, but it was good to know that Harry wasn’t relying on him without a backup plan for keeping the family occupied. But it was also hard to fight the little seed of doubt in his gut that he might not be actually helpful here, that he might not be of much use after all. He knew Harry wouldn’t be disappointed in him if it all worked out well anyway, but…. He wanted to do better than that. 

He laid on the bed with that thought in his mind until he found he was too restless to stand it any longer. With a sigh he sat up. “I suppose I should head down there just before they finish, yeah? That way Alexei and Dmitry’ll see me and hurry up to go out again. An’ maybe the other kids’ll come, too. It’ll be hard to ditch ‘em if we’re all right there in front of their dad.” Or so Eggsy assumed. He envisioned Mr. Orlov scolding his boys and strictly telling them they had to let their younger siblings join in, with it being a family vacation and all. Or maybe that was just his stereotypical impression of what fathers were supposed to be like. 

Harry turned in his chair and nodded. “Sounds like a good plan. They shouldn’t be much longer at breakfast, anyway.” 

When Eggsy rolled off the bed and went looking for his gear, getting it all ready just in case he had to run up to the room in a hurry, Harry rose, too. He fished out several notes from his wallet and held them out. “You’ll need some cash for the arcade. There’s enough to keep you busy for a while, even if the Orlov boys join in.” 

It was a second before Eggsy took it and stuffed it in his pocket. “Thanks.” He still wasn’t totally comfortable taking money from Harry, even if he knew the man owed him plenty more than that, and it was for a mission, besides. He looked around, swinging his arms. His skis and gear was in a pile in the corner, easy enough to grab if he needed it. There wasn’t much else he would need to take with him for the moment. “Right then. Guess I’ll be off. See you later, yeah?” 

Harry gave him a half smile, and there was a brief pause where Eggsy could tell he wanted to do more. Wanted to lean in and kiss him, perhaps, but in the end he refrained. “Try and have some fun while you’re at it.” Harry sounded like he meant it. He wanted Eggsy to feel comfortable on this trip, to be able to look back on it as an enjoyable experience. It was clear Harry didn’t know whether Eggsy would or not, but wanted to make it as easy on him as possible. 

Eggsy just shrugged. “We’ll see.” He went for the door and Harry saw him that far, closing it behind him with a soft click. 

Once out of the room, Eggsy knew he still wasn’t completely separated from Harry at least. He had his ear piece. Although Merlin was listening in, and he wasn’t foolish enough to believe there would be a channel he could speak to Harry in private. Even if he could, he knew it would be recorded. 

So he made his way back down to the lobby and tried to enjoy just being in the midst of the other travellers. There were people from all over the world, and they were interesting to watch if he let himself take the time. The majority he assumed were from Europe, but he caught snippets of French and what might have been Bulgarian as he walked. There were a few Indian families as well, and their kids were laughing and playing in the arcade. 

Eggsy decided to take a walk around before he settled in any one spot. He couldn’t help but wonder how many other people he passed were anything like himself and Harry. They all looked so normal. Most of them seemed to be living inside of their own bubbles, limited to the friends and family they came with, not interacting with anyone else. Eggsy knew that children were the exception, like the way he befriended the elder Orlov boys the other day. But even still, his friendship with them had been planned. He wondered if he would now find it suspicious if anyone came up to him on a trip like this and wanted to be his friend. It wasn’t a very pleasant thought, so he tried to put it out of his mind as he headed back to the arcade. 

He spent a while there wandering between the games before Harry’s voice sounded in his ear, announcing that the Orlov family was finished with breakfast and would be heading back soon. Eggsy decided to situate himself at one of the games next to the entryway where they would be passing, the perfect spot to stop and invite them out to the slopes again. 

His plan worked fairly well, although this time he did have to wave to draw the two boys away from their father and brothers. “You guys goin’ out soon?” Eggsy called, and didn’t miss the way the younger two immediately turned to their father and pulled on his hands and shirt, pleading for something he didn’t understand in Russian. It wasn’t difficult to make an educated guess, however. 

“Yeah!” Alexei called back. “Meet us down here in five?” 

Eggsy watched their father say something to Alexei and Dmitry that had the two boys quickly complaining, complete with foot stamping and hand gesturing, but Eggsy called back an enthusiastic “Okay!” nonetheless. 

The family headed off to the lifts, and Eggsy waited just long enough to finish his game, not wanting to seem so excited it was awkward, before he followed. He took the stairs this time, wanting to get back up to the room and dressed as fast as possible even though he knew it would take the other boys longer. 

When he keyed into the room, he found Harry at the desk, watching his monitors. “Hey,” Eggsy chirped, heading straight for his gear. 

“No need to rush,” Harry told him. “They’re still getting ready. And arguing about whether or not Dmitry and Alexei can go off on their own with you.”

Merlin was likely feeding their room’s audio to Harry, Eggsy realised, even though he couldn’t hear it himself. “You think they’ll be comin’? Or do I gotta figure out somethin’ else?” He pulled on his ski clothes piece by piece, trying not to feel as anxious as he did. He knew he could do this. It was simple, but Harry was depending on him. He realised he had paused and was biting his lip when Harry glanced to him. 

“I think it’ll be fine. It sounds like Artur wants his kids to go out together to start with. He’s asking the older boys to show them how to get started on the practise hills and to watch over them for a while before they move on. They are, unsurprisingly, arguing that it’ll be boring and that their new friend won’t want to stick around.” He shot Eggsy a look of amusement. “I’d say all you have to do is show up and be willing to help their younger brothers learn the ropes for a while.” 

Slowly, Eggsy nodded. He wasn’t used to being the kid others feared would be the one to ditch them. He had never been the dweeb in a group before, either, but no matter how cool he tried to act, he was often the youngest of any new group he befriended, and that always docked a few social points. It was a strange feeling, now, with Alexei and Dmitry essentially the same age, that he might be considered the coolest out of the three of them, even if Alexei would probably vie for that position, given enough time. 

He sighed and shook the thought away. There would never be enough time, and for once he was glad of it. That was a lot of social pecking order bullshit he didn’t want to deal with. He pulled on the rest of his clothing, shoved his hat, goggles, and gloves under one arm, and grabbed his skis and poles. “Right. I’m gonna head back down there. Lemme know if the parents leave and you get your chance, yeah? Just in case.” 

For a moment Harry took Eggsy in, looking him up and down with a certain sense of pride. Eggsy wasn’t sure if it was warranted, but it felt nice all the same. “Of course,” Harry told him and got up to help him get the door. Eggsy had to lug all his gear back down with him, and there wasn’t much time to dawdle, so all Harry could do was give him a wave as he left, shuffling past the Orlovs’ room and noting the voices coming from inside. 

Deciding it would be weird if he waited outside their door, or interrupted them, Eggsy made his way back down to the chairs beside the fireplace where other skiers sat, taking breaks and warming up with cups of hot tea and cocoa. He sat for what must have been about ten minutes before he caught sight of two familiar figures heading across the hall towards him. Alexei and Dmitry weren’t alone this time. Behind them trailed two younger boys, who must have been around eight or nine, with skis in arms, awkwardly holding them aloft. All looked dressed and ready, at least. 

Feigning surprise, Eggsy raised his eyebrows at the two elder brothers. 

“We had to let them come with us,” Alexei explained with a note of apology in his voice. He looked frustrated and a little embarrassed, as did Dmitry, however less so. 

The two younger boys didn’t seem to be shy at all. “I’m Vitaly!” the darker haired one piped up, “and this is Georgy.” 

They looked like they were expecting a response so Eggsy gave them a nod and what he hoped was a warm, if awkward, smile. “M’name’s Eggsy.” Usually, he got weird looks over his name when introduced, but these two boys didn’t bat an eyelash. It was apparent they either didn’t know it wasn’t a common English name, or their brothers had told them about him since yesterday. Eggsy figured the latter was probably the case, since they all spoke English very well. “That mean we gotta stay on the practise hill?” Eggsy asked the elder two, knowing it would be expected of him to sound a bit put out. 

Alexei grimaced. “Yeah. Just for a while, though. We don’t have to stay there the whole day. Mama and Papa said they’d be coming out later and we just have to be sure they don’t break their legs.” He tossed his scowl towards the younger boys, one of who made a face back at him upon reflex. 

“Ever skied before?” Eggsy asked the younger two. 

Both shook their heads. “How hard can it be?” Georgy asked, playfully, obviously trying to downplay how boring it would be for the older boys to have to teach them. 

“Pretty hard when you get on the bigger hills,” Dmitry chimed in, and if Eggsy wasn’t mistaken, raised his chin a little higher in the air. He apparently wasn’t the only one who noticed, because Georgy made the same face back at his middle brother as the one he’d made at Alexei. 

Eggsy made a show of shrugging, but got to his feet. “I s’pose that’s fine for a bit. We can go on the bigger hills later. And there’s jumps by the practise hill, too. Maybe we can try those?” He hoped his acceptance would sway Alexei and Dmitry into letting their younger brothers stay with them for as long as had been agreed with their parents. It would be incredibly easy to just ditch the boys and head off to the more difficult hills. The Hinterglemm was expansive, and no one would be able to find them if they took off until they came back on their own. Not without an incredible amount of luck, or GPS tracking. 

“Yeah alright.” Alexei looked a little nervous about trying the jumps, but equally excited. Eggsy supposed he was fortunate they were situated so closely. 

Altogether, the five boys headed out into the snow until they got to the bottom of the easy hills where young children and parents were sitting to strap in their boots and skis. The elder Orlovs had to help the younger boys get their boots into place on the skis, but Eggsy waited patiently once he got his own on, even offering helpful pointers when he could, just to show that he really was comfortable with the younger brothers. 

Dmitry explained to them the basics, how to use the poles to keep balance, how to angle the body and legs to turn right or left, and how to point the skis together to slow down. Eggsy helped by demonstrating on a small incline beside them. After a few minutes of getting used to it, they decided Vitaly and Georgy were ready. 

They tried the smallest hill there was at first. Really, it was just a carved out slot halfway up the main practise hill where skiers could hop off the lift early. And that was another thing that was going to be a challenge for the younger boys, or so Eggsy thought—catching the lift as it went up the hill. 

On that hill, it was pretty simple. A single J bar took each passenger along, and all they had to do was step into position and let it scoop them up from behind while holding onto the top of the pole. It didn’t take the skiers up into the air like the big hills with the seated lifts did, just slid them along up the hill until they could hop off at the middle or the top. 

“I’ll meet you guys up there,” Eggsy called, being the first to demonstrate how it was done and letting Alexei and Dmitry take care of their brothers. Once he caught his lift, he watched Alexei go next, and then the others make their nervous attempts. They got the hang of it soon enough, however, and after hesitantly letting only a few hooks go by, Eggsy saw them each catch one and slide into place behind himself and Alexei. Once Vitaly and Georgy were set, Dmitry took up the rear. 

“When you wanna hop off, just stand up!” Eggsy called over his shoulder as the middle stop came up. He slid easily off his lift and got out of the way for Alexei to follow. Alexei then turned and helped his brothers detach themselves from their lifts along the way. 

It was a little awkward, but they all made it. To Eggsy’s relief, the two young boys looked just as excited as they were nervous as they stood together in the carved out area of the hill, looking down. Both skiers and snowboarders flew past them, some going quite fast and others, obvious beginners, heading down very slowly. 

Eggsy gestured to one of those. “Y’see him? How he’s got his skis in that V shape? Just keep that up and you can slow down whenever you want. Easy, yeah?” 

“Just watch us!” Dmitry called and took off down the hill. He was showing off, but at least Alexei didn’t leave the two brothers as well, or Eggsy would have been the only one left to go down with them. 

“Come on.” Alexei got into position and Vitaly and Georgy copied him. 

Eggsy decided to take up the rear just in case either got too nervous suddenly. They did seem nervous once they started really looking at it, but as soon as Alexei jumped, they followed. Both of them kept as slow a pace as they could manage on the way down, and Eggsy found himself sailing past to catch up with the elder two Orlovs at the bottom. 

Once the younger brothers made it, however, they were ecstatic. Eggsy had to duck out of the way of waving poles as they jumped around, shouting, “Again, again!”

All together, he and the boys went down the hill several more times, at first from the middle, and then all the way to the top. It still wasn’t very exciting for Eggsy or the elder brothers, but the younger ones loved it. He supposed that was nice to see. He’d never really been one of the older kids before, and he’d definitely never had a younger brother, so it was a strange experience for him to be looked up to in the way they seemed to. He was their brother’s older friend, which instantly made him cool. He didn’t even have to do anything, although he had tried very hard with the elder brothers the day prior. 

Inevitably, however, Alexei and Dmitry wanted to move on to the bigger hills. There was little Eggsy felt he could do to stop them. He could only protest that they spend a while longer watching over Vitaly and Georgy once or twice before they would question it, or get tired of him being boring and leave on their own. He knew Merlin could hear what they were up to all the while, but still the man remained silent, and so did Harry. 

When Alexei and Dmitry made noises for the second time about leaving, Eggsy could no longer stall. For all he knew, his efforts keeping them together would be wasted anyway, since it didn’t sound like their parents had left the room yet. 

“You gonna be alright?” he called to Vitaly and Georgy, at least wanting to try to do what he could. “Gonna stay out here on the hill for a while longer, yeah?” 

“Until our legs fall off!” the boys laughed and agreed enthusiastically. At least there was that. 

Eggsy didn’t like leaving them alone, but Merlin had cameras on the outside of the lodge as well as the inside, so if there was a problem, he would likely notice. Or so Eggsy hoped. The silence was beginning to worry him. He’d hoped he’d hear more than this, that he could be in on whatever conversation was going on between Harry and Merlin as they waited on Artur and Elena. Eggsy knew how boring it had been back in the room with Harry, but they had to be talking at least a _little_ bit. 

It left him feeling on edge as he headed off with Alexei and Dmitry back to the hills they’d left behind the day before. It was a long way up, spent mostly on lifts high above the treetops below, spotting other skiers heading down the trails, and seeing if they could spot the most difficult hills from there. Eggsy tried his best to be as engrossed in conversation as the other boys were, but it was difficult to keep up. Even the beauty of the white mountain range under clear skies couldn’t pull him completely into the moment. 

It was hard not to wonder if being a spy was like that all the time, and whether Harry spent his days only half-heartedly enjoying the scenery in his exotic trips. The man was probably so used to such locations by now anyway. Harry talked about them like he enjoyed it, but Eggsy had to wonder how much he did for himself, and how much he just enjoyed telling Eggsy about such places. Harry did that with a lot of things, Eggsy supposed. Almost all the places they went to, even now, were for Eggsy. He couldn’t envision Harry going to the cinema by himself, or the ice cream shop, or the comic book store, or even the mall. Eggsy remembered how badly Harry had been doing by the time he’d returned as well. That wouldn’t be easy to forget. 

He, however, did not have the luxury of decades’ worth of experience on the job, and had to pull his wandering thoughts back to himself in order to keep up with the other boys. They didn’t seem to notice how distracted he was though, and Eggsy considered himself fortunate. 

They decided to pass up the hills they’d ended their day on the last time and see if they could find some other intermediate ones. As their path led up the mountain, the trails became progressively more difficult, but there were just enough they could manage interspersed with the rest. 

Eggsy wanted to see what a slope marked black looked like, so they stopped at one to check it out. Right from the top, the hill seemed to take a straight dive down and then into a series of twists and turns before dropping off again so steeply that the boys couldn’t see anything beyond that point but the other hills below. The boys backed away quickly and decided to stick to blue and the occasional red if it looked manageable. Luckily, many of the trails were close to one another, or began where others ended as they went down the mountainside, so they didn’t have to spend all their time on the lifts. 

It was sometime past an hour or two since they’d left the younger boys that Eggsy finally heard from the receiver in his ear. Merlin, however, did not seem to be addressing him. “Galahad, we’ve got movement towards the door.” The channel must have opened up to everyone in it, Eggsy figured. 

Especially when he heard Harry’s reply follow. “Noted. They appear to be heading down for an early lunch. Once they’re out and have left the hall, I’ll need you to confirm.”

“Certainly. The coast is clear so far. Eggsy, if you’re out of earshot, can you confirm your location with the elder two Orlovs?” Merlin asked. 

Eggsy tried not to let his nerves take hold of him. They were only talking; it was just a simple question, and one he knew would be coming. He and the two other boys were making the short trek from a lift to the top of a blue trail in one of the higher regions of the trail system. He had to fall back a little in order to speak without being heard, but to his favour the wind up there was blowing just enough to cover his voice somewhat. 

“Right. I’m still here with two. Couldn’t stay with the younger ones, but they planned to say out for a while longer yet.” Eggsy watched for any sign Alexei or Dmitry overheard, but there were none. The two of them were simply focused on getting to their next destination. 

“Neither have shown on my cameras outside the lodge, so it seems they’ve done exactly that,” Merlin confirmed. 

“This may be our shot, then.” Harry’s voice was rich and satisfied. He sounded ready to be done with the mission, and Eggsy could imagine him easily sitting back in his chair in their hotel room, eyes fixed on the monitor as he waited for the Orlov parents to enter the hallway. 

Eggsy kept silent as he heard Merlin’s voice take over. “Elena and Artur now exiting their room. Key card in Artur’s left back pocket. No ski clothing, likely they’ll be heading down to the restaurants for Elena. Heading to the lift….” He must be narrating for someone else, Eggsy realised. Probably part of the tech team, or maybe for the recording that would be filed along with this mission. Eggsy wasn’t really sure, but Merlin kept his tone soft and unobtrusive, likely for Harry’s sake. 

“Getting onto the lift, annnd doors closed. Galahad, you are clear to move.” 

“Wonderful, thank you, Merlin.” Eggsy imagined Harry adjusting his glasses and standing like he was in no hurry at all. He’d collect his things, the briefcase containing whatever he needed to copy Mr. Orlov’s information, and head out into the hall, calm and easy as could be. 

Eggsy envied the imaginary Harry. Every ounce of his attention was on his earpiece now. His feet only kept him moving forward while his hind brain followed Alexei and Dmitry. Harry wouldn’t have felt that way. He would have been able to do both at once, even carry on a conversation in person while listening to Merlin describing mission details. But they were only walking and Eggsy couldn’t loosen his focus from the voices in his ear. 

Faintly, the sounds of a door opening and shutting filtered through, and then after a few more paces, the beep of a key card and a second door opening. Harry must have gotten in. He didn’t speak, however, and after that it was hard to hear anything. He must not have been making any noise. Maybe they were worried the Orlovs had bugged the place, just like Kingsman would have done. 

Eggsy wished he could see what was going on, but he didn’t have access to Harry’s glasses, and he was stuck up there playing his own, small part. Ahead of him, Alexei and Dmitry had stopped at the top of an intersection of trails to look at the map. Sign posts told them there were three ahead, two black and one blue, and it sounded like the boys were trying to figure out where they would end up and which hills they could take next if they took the blue. Eggsy glanced over their shoulders, pretending to be paying attention as they pointed to the trails below that they could follow. 

In his ear, however, Merlin’s voice broke the silence. “Galahad, I’ve picked up the two young brothers heading back to the lodge. You need to be out in less than five minutes.” 

“I need at least ten for the file transfer,” Harry responded, still with that tone of everlasting calm, although it should have been strained. “Otherwise I’m going to have to abandon halfway through and try again, which I would very much prefer not to do. Straightening the physical documents up now, but even that is going to cut it close.”

Eggsy’s heart began to sink as they spoke. Alexei and Dmitry’s conversation fell by the wayside as he listened hard. And then Merlin addressed him. 

“Eggsy, how far out are you? Do you think you can intercept them in time to give Galahad a few more minutes?” 

Without pause, Eggsy grabbed for the map. He pulled it out of Alexei’s hands, ignoring the boy’s protest. Immediately he saw why the boys had been talking for so long. The blue hill led only to another lift checkpoint and they hadn’t wanted to go straight back up again. There were no trails leading down the mountainside from that area. One of the black trails, however, had a convenient path all the way through. 

“Guys, I uh, I think I forgot my medication this morning,” Eggsy reached for the very first thing that came to mind. It was feeble, and he had no idea what he could say the medication was for, but it would do. “I gotta go. I’m not supposed to miss that.” 

With his heart in his throat and Merlin’s voice in his ear, Eggsy headed for the black hill. 

“Eggsy, what are you doing?” Alexei called after him, bewilderment and vague alarm in his voice when it was clear where Eggsy was going. He ignored the other boy. 

“Eggsy, ETA?” Merlin asked again. 

“Dunno, Merlin,” Eggsy hissed under his breath when he reached the top. “This ain’t gonna be easy, I’m way up here and only got black trails all the way down, but maybe I can catch ‘em.” 

“Eggsy, _don’t_ hurt yourself,” Merlin demanded, but Eggsy was already lowering his goggles and setting his skis in place. 

Behind him, the other boys shouted and he could hear them heading for him. They must have thought he’d lost his mind. They were shouting as much, and he knew they were about to try to stop him. So he did the only thing he felt he could—took a long look at the steep dive below, imagined falling that far, trying to keep himself up, trying to find the spots he could use to turn and slow himself down, how he could stay in control as much as was possible. The land below looked more unforgiving than he’d imagined, even from his last glance down a black hill. 

“ _Eggsy_ ,” Merlin called again, and Eggsy jumped. 

The moment his skis hit the ground, he felt like he was falling. Falling while crouching. His stomach was somewhere up in his chest and all he could do was let it happen, let himself shoot down the steep hill. The snow under his skis was flying by so fast it didn’t feel soft at all. It was impossible to push away the panic rising in his throat, or the notion that if he kept up this pace much longer, he wasn’t going to be able to handle it. The slightest imbalance would send him tumbling so hard he would surely break bone, and the only way to slow himself would probably be to jump and turn left and right in a zigzag pattern on the way down. He vaguely remembered seeing professional skiers do that on the telly, but he couldn’t even think of trying it now. 

“Eggsy, what’s going on?” Merlin’s voice sounded again, but it was distant to the immediacy of what he was doing and the need to keep himself from falling. 

Eggsy shot past trees and mounds of snow. There was a turn coming up just as the hill’s angle declined slightly, and he was just able to make it with a single well timed jump and twist. The impact was hard. Harder than he’d expected, but with every last bit of strength he managed to keep himself rigidly upright before he knew he had to twist again. 

As the hill finally levelled out a little, Eggsy began to breathe easier. His heart rate slowed and he felt the adrenaline in his body threatening to make him shake all over. But he couldn’t stop. There had been a reason he’d taken that plunge, and he was barely halfway there to prevent Harry from being discovered. 

“Merlin,” Eggsy shouted, trying to calm himself with his own voice and his own determination. “I’m going to catch them!” As soon as he said it, he felt his nerve come back. He took gulps of air and sped on down the rest of the hill, knowing from the map that he would soon reach the end only to find another, just as difficult, directly between himself and the lodge at the bottom of the mountain. 

There was a moment of silence before Merlin responded. “Alright, Eggsy.” Strangely, he didn’t sound reluctant. For a moment, Eggsy was surprised until he realised that Merlin was accepting his decision at face value. “Keep your stance strong, but don’t lock up. When you need to turn or slow down, you’re going to have to jump and plant your skis where you want them. Understand? If you can make it down here in three minutes, they’ll be just inside the doors.” Merlin was deciding not to question his ability, and there probably wasn’t time for it, besides. Eggsy was grateful. 

“ _Got it_.” Eggsy called back just before another steep part of the trail hit and he had to focus again. He couldn’t stop to think about what he was doing. Couldn’t stop to talk to Merlin anymore. All he could do was race to the bottom of the mountain as fast as he possibly could. 

The thought of Harry stuck in a hotel room, fingers hovering over a flash drive, ready to rip it out and run to safety the moment it finished downloading, flashed through his mind and set into him a sense of determination so deep it began to overwhelm his fear. 

He sped by the sign for the next black hill and a crowd of other skiers without a second glance, and once again, Eggsy was thrown into a steep dive. This time, however, he wasn’t so afraid. He had a goal. One single goal, and Harry was depending on him. Harry’s safety was all that mattered. 

Slope after slope he descended until, finally, they began evening out into the easier trails closer to the bottom, and eventually, Eggsy arrived at the top of the practise hill. He couldn’t see the two boys from where he was, but he didn’t take a moment longer before he shot down as fast as he could. 

“Merlin, where are they? Are they still here?” He was panting, pulling off his skis and dropping his poles into the snow by the time he reached the bottom. Unwilling to spare a second, he bolted on shaky legs towards the lodge. 

“That they are. Just inside, passing the arcade now,” came Merlin’s reply, clear and cool, but speaking fast. “Their parents are seated in the left hand dining area. Catch them and tell them to check in before they return to their room. That ought to give Galahad enough time.” 

“On it!” Eggsy shot through the door and remembered just in time not to look too hurried. He still had to catch them, but he couldn’t just run across the hall, so he walked swiftly towards the arcade, knowing the lift was just beyond. 

When he caught sight of them ambling towards the lift, skis under their arms, poles in their hands, laughing and shoving each other around, relief flooded through him like a physical wave. It was all he could do not to double over with the force of it. He took a moment to catch his breath, to calm his voice, and steady his steps, but he never stopped moving forward, rounding the corner to meet them. 

“Hey!” Eggsy called, loud enough to carry across the hall, and both boys turned. “Where are you headed?”


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you again for reading!

“We’re going back to the room for a while. Why?” Vitaly responded, looking honestly confused as Eggsy approached them. As young boys often did, both looked a little worried they’d done something wrong. Eggsy was their authority figure now, more than even their brothers. They were used to their brothers being in charge, and used to rebelling, but not to an older boy they looked up to. 

That sparked an idea. Eggsy needed one badly because all he had to work from was Merlin’s information. Even though the man in his ear was helping as much as he could, it was up to Eggsy to get them to do what he needed. “I just saw your parents in the restaurant back by the lobby. Y’know we’re supposed to be watchin’ you, right? Go check in with them before you head up so they know where you are an’ we don’t get in trouble, yeah?”

Vitaly’s cheeks turned pink and Georgy looked mortified. ‘Nearly getting Eggsy and their brothers in trouble’ did the trick. Both brothers hiked up their gear and looked over Eggsy’s shoulder for the restaurant in question. “Okay, sorry Eggsy,” Vitaly mumbled, looking cowed, and Georgy echoed the apology after his brother. 

They didn’t waste any time following Eggsy’s orders, either. He stood back with a grin and an odd sense of pride while the brothers hurried past him to go find their parents. He’d made them do that. Easily, too. 

“Bloody good job, Eggsy,” Harry’s voice was suddenly in his ear and he nearly jumped in surprise. And then he was grinning. He couldn’t help it. He knew it might look odd, so he ducked his head and tried to stay out of the way of people passing. 

He had to go back for his skis, he’d left them out in front of the lodge in his haste, but he didn’t dare leave before he knew Harry was absolutely, one hundred percent, finished with his work and safely back in their room, lest the boys return. So he headed towards the arcade, trying to keep himself looking busy. 

“Seconded,” Merlin chimed in. “Galahad, are you almost out of there?” 

“Finishing up now.” There was something in Harry’s voice. Something suppressed. Something that sounded a lot like joy. Even Merlin had it, Eggsy realised. His tone had changed ever so slightly between now and when Eggsy was back up on the trails. 

It was all Eggsy could do to restrain the bubbling euphoria threatening to overflow inside his chest. He’d done this. _He’d_ saved their mission. Not Harry. Not Merlin. Not anyone other than him. But both of them had been there, doing their part. He had Harry’s back, and Merlin…Merlin had had Eggsy’s. Up there on the slopes, Merlin had believed in him. Eggsy told him he could make it in time and Merlin had gone with it, had treated him like an adult, treated him like a _real agent_. 

“Home safe, Merlin, Eggsy.” The sound of a door shutting followed Harry’s voice, and Eggsy stood, forcing himself not to grin, full to bursting with the sense of elation, imagining Harry standing in their room, briefcase in hand with all the files he needed, maybe even wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. Eggsy’s imagination ran away with him, and he could have laughed with how happy he was. 

He went to get his skis and tried to look as composed as he could manage, itching all the while to get back up to their room and hear from Harry. They were finished. The mission was over, and it had been a success. Thanks to _him_. 

“You alright there, ‘Galahad’?” Eggsy asked cheekily once he was outside and out of earshot of anyone nearby. He just couldn’t resist. 

He heard a chuckle from the other end. “That I am, Agent Unwin, that I am. Thanks to you, I might add. You can come back now if you’d like. No need to stay out any longer unless you’d prefer it.” 

“Headin’ back right now,” Eggsy confirmed, snatching up his skis and making his way back to the lodge. 

He walked on air the whole way. By the time he reached the lift, he’d managed to school his face back to normal, but the fluttering, giddy feeling in his gut showed no sign of leaving anytime soon. Their hallway was deserted when Eggsy reached it. He stood tall and confident as he passed the Orlovs’ door, knowing Harry had been there just minutes ago. He hadn’t caught sight of the boys down at the restaurant when he’d gone by, and although he didn’t hear any voices from behind their door, he knew they could very well be inside now. 

A smile was cracking his lips by the time he placed his key card in the slot of his own door and slipped inside. The same snick of the latch catching behind him met his ears as he’d heard over the earpiece, and Eggsy’s back hit the solid wood a second later. 

He’d thought the weight of everything hit home when he was down in the common area, but he was wrong. There, in the centre of the room, stood Harry, tall and proud, and two bubbling flutes of champagne in his hands. “Well done, my boy. Very well done.” 

Eggsy was exhausted and elated and simply blissed out all at once. He grinned at Harry and began pulling off his ski clothes, uncaring where they ended up. Once he wasn’t sweltering under the heat of them, he went up to Harry and took the glass offered. He could feel his pink his cheeks were from the wind and snow and exertion, and he could feel the way his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, but Harry was looking at him like he’d hung the moon. 

For once, Harry seemed to forget himself and the new understanding between them. He wrapped an arm around Eggsy’s waist and leaned down to kiss him, long and hard and completely disregarding the fact that they were both holding delicate flutes of champagne, but all Eggsy did was laugh and draw him closer. It was a moment of bliss for the both of them. 

When Harry pulled back, he didn’t let Eggsy go right away. There was fondness in his eyes and one of the warmest smiles on his mouth. There was something more there, too. Something that Harry often held for him, but rarely was it allowed to shine as bright and unadulterated as this. Eggsy knew Harry loved him. Eggsy had known that for a long time. And the way he’d felt, coming down that mountainside, he knew there was no question he loved Harry in return. 

“Somebody’s gotta save your arse.” Eggsy grinned and clinked his glass with Harry’s. He took a sip and, for a fleeting moment, was reminded of the first drink of wine he’d ever had. Prosecco, actually. At Harry’s dinner table, no less, because of course it was, but it wasn’t a bad memory. It was a very good memory. Many of them had turned bittersweet, looking back, but somehow that one remained untainted, even if it perhaps should have been. 

Somehow, Harry’s smile widened even more. “I’d take your help any day.” If Harry was remembering that time, he didn’t show it. But it didn’t matter. For once, their present was as good as the past. He followed suit and tipped his glass back to his lips, perfectly fluid and ever the gentleman. 

“I’d say we can call that a wrap,” Merlin interrupted as smoothly as possible, and somehow it didn’t break the moment. “You two, enjoy the rest of your stay.” 

“Thanks Merlin,” Eggsy spoke up before he could think twice about it. There was a warm glow in his stomach, and he wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist in return. 

A quiet chuckle came from the other end of the line before it went silent. Harry pressed a button on the side of his glasses before he took them off and laid them down on the table nearby. He turned his attention back to Eggsy, and a more subdued kind of fondness seemed to come over him. “So. How would you like to celebrate?” He rubbed Eggsy’s back and then sat down on the foot of the bed. “The success of one’s first mission is no small achievement. Not to mention that stunt you pulled on the trails.” 

Eggsy took another sip of champagne and licked his lips. He wasn’t pretending to tease Harry, he really was thinking about it, but a part of him knew it would be teasing nonetheless. To hell with it, he thought, and, with one hand on Harry’s shoulder, climbed up to straddle his lap, still sipping from his glass. “I dunno. I’m gonna have to think about it for a while. Might be pretty tired later, but I’m not feelin’ it just yet.” 

Harry snorted a soft laugh, but wrapped an arm around Eggsy’s back to anchor him. “If you’re looking for suggestions, I suppose I might be able to offer a few.” His fingers curled against Eggsy’s spine in a gesture Eggsy recognised as quiet appreciation. “You can catch your breath and I can join you out on the slopes,” Harry offered. “Or I could take you out to see the town. Or you can take another dip in the hot tub, and enjoy all the champagne you like while you relax.” 

“Mm, I like the part about relaxin’ just now. But I’d kinda wanna do it with you.” Eggsy finished the rest of his flute in one gulp and set it aside before leaning into Harry’s chest. Harry was solid and kept him upright even when he put his weight into it, letting his body slump against the man. They were pressed together so thoroughly that Eggsy knew if he moved just a little, the sensation would turn from a small pleasure into a much more insistent one. 

“Do you now?” Harry asked, as though he was surprised. He got a short laugh and a poke to his side for mocking Eggsy, but he deserved it. He set down his own drink and folded his hands behind Eggsy, smiling down at him fondly. “You seem pretty beat. I wonder if I might interest you in a massage again? You’ve had quite the workout over the last couple days.” 

Eggsy hummed a noncommittal noise. That definitely sounded like a nice idea, but this was nice, too, just laying against Harry like this. All the adrenaline must have been draining out of him or something. He hadn’t felt this lethargic a few minutes ago. The elation hadn’t dwindled, however. He wondered what it would mean, now that he’d successfully helped in one of Harry’s missions. As far as he knew, Kingsman didn’t ask civilians out with their agents, at least not civilians who were aware of what was going on. He’d never heard of anything like that from Harry’s logs, or mention of it when Harry talked. Would he be an honorary agent now? 

His thoughts drifted away at the idea of it. He thought about what it felt like to go down those hills, the whole mission riding on his back. Even Merlin there to support him, smooth and unquestioning. It was something he’d never experienced before. It was a feeling he liked, he realised. He’d always thought about how dangerous Harry’s missions were, how close Eggsy could come to losing him. And sure there had been times when Eggsy fantasised about it in terms more like a Bond movie, but he’d never really thought about what it would feel like to _really_ be out there. To _really_ be working as a spy, and not just the cons of it. 

Of course there was that little voice in the back of his mind warning him not to get carried away, not with just one successful mission. Eggsy wasn’t foolhardy, but…. He snuggled into Harry’s chest a little harder, deciding just to enjoy the high of it for now. He could set these thoughts aside for later. 

Harry’s hand came up to stroke the back of his head. Harry had gone quiet, sensing Eggsy was thinking, probably. He was good about that. Harry was good about a lot of things like that. His intentions might not always be good, but…with Eggsy, Harry was good. Maybe Eggsy was just feeling happy and tired and generous at the moment, but it felt right. 

Gently, Harry lifted Eggsy higher and tilted them back, bringing their legs up on the bed. He let Eggsy slide in next to him, and they curled up like that, fully clothed and everything. It felt nice though. 

Eggsy’s eyes closed and Harry traced fingertips down his temple, over his brow and his nose, across the swell of his cheek. Eggsy had distant memories of his mother doing something like that to him when he was very young, and it was a surprise how good it felt. 

Harry’s soft touches didn’t stop. They never pushed for more, just a constant appreciation of Eggsy. That’s what it seemed like it was. Like Harry was praising him now. Harry often appreciated his body, but this felt like more. This felt like gratitude. Maybe even admiration. 

When Eggsy opened his eyes, he found Harry watching him and warmer than ever. The man could not have been more smitten if he’d tried and it brought a curve to Eggsy’s mouth. There were times he’d never thought he’d feel the simple, unadulterated enjoyment of seeing Harry look at him like that again. He hadn’t known how good it would feel to be wrong. 

Harry’s finger came up to slide over his brow again, taking the touches full circle. “What are you thinking about?” he whispered. There was no one there to listen, but somehow the world had narrowed down to the space just between the two of them, and it seemed like it should be respected. 

“’M just happy.” It was an honest response, and Eggsy was proud of that. Eggsy was _glad_ of that. Happiness had eluded him for so long. 

The returning smile on Harry’s lips told him Harry agreed as well. “I’m happy you’re happy.” 

Harry drew Eggsy’s fingers to his mouth and kissed his knuckles. It was so sweet Eggsy had to laugh. There were times when he thought he should wonder whether Harry was treating him like a little kid, but Harry wasn’t treating him like a little kid. This was just how Harry was affectionate. 

Eggsy reached up and slid his fingers into Harry’s hair in return. Harry was always touching him, when it was welcome, and he wondered what it would feel like if he did that more often, too. Harry brushed pomade through his hair, but it still felt soft to the touch. Eggsy had so many memories of tousling it beyond redemption. There had always been a thrill seeing Harry that way, gloriously dishevelled, but just feeling it was nice, too. 

Harry closed his eyes in return. A deep sigh made his chest swell, and it was clear he was happy. Eggsy’s touch was revered. Especially touches like this, when they were close but it wasn’t necessary or even expected. Harry had gotten used to not expecting certain things, not until Eggsy wanted them, and at times it made the touches between them uncertain, and at times it was frustrating, but at other times it was a good thing, too. 

After long minutes of enjoying the comfort of the bed and the silence between them, Harry’s brow creased. “So are you ever going to tell me what I owe you after our bet the other day?”

Eggsy couldn’t help the way the corners of his mouth turned up, and Harry’s eyes caught on the movement with suspicion. “Mayyybe. I ‘spose now that we have some time, I maybe can say soon. I dunno though, we might gotta go back home first.” He knew he was being a tease. He didn’t care. Eggsy had almost forgotten about their bet in the time focused on the mission, even when things were boring, but now he let himself grin. 

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Well, that doesn’t sound suspicious at all,” he deadpanned. “What exactly have you got in mind that we can’t do here, I wonder?” But there was a touch of a smile on his lips as well, and even though Eggsy knew he had little idea of what it could be, he really did enjoy Eggsy’s enthusiasm. 

“Bet you can think of all sorts of things,” Eggsy challenged in return. The light of mischief was coming back into his eyes and it was too hard not to smirk at Harry’s mock serious face. “You’re good at that sorta thing.” Eggsy prodded a finger against Harry’s chest in chastisement. It wouldn’t do any good, he knew, but he enjoyed it anyway. Chastising Harry over creative ways to be naughty in a hotel room was a losing endeavour. 

“I am indeed.” Harry gave him an indulgent smile. “Soundproof the door with a simple noise cancellation device, block incoming and outgoing radio signals and other wireless devices, and, of course, cancel housekeeping. We’d have the entire room to ourselves to do as we like, no interruptions.” He slid his hands around Eggsy’s back and pulled him a little closer, not quite fully, but the little places where they brushed together felt nice, and still allowed Eggsy some room to breathe. 

“You sound like you’ve done this before.” Eggsy knew he had. It needn’t even be said. They certainly hadn’t always been chaste in the rooms they’d spent their nights in on the vacations Harry took him on years ago, although if Harry had done all that at the time, Eggsy hadn’t been aware of it. Some precautions, sure, but nothing to the extent Harry had probably accounted for. 

“Mhm, I have.” Harry had no shame. “If you can imagine half the things I can imagine doing in this room, can you tell me whether your surprise is on that list?” It was hard to tell how much Harry really was curious about what the surprise was and how much he simply wanted to enjoy this banter. He was always so indulgent. 

Eggsy chewed on his lip and pretended to think. “I bet it is. Jus’ don’t know where we’d get the supplies.” He smirked at that, leaving Harry to wonder what possible supplies he could be referring to, and no doubt imagining all sorts of things. Harry even had certain ‘supplies’ back at his house, Eggsy knew, although he didn’t think Harry had this particular one. Not that he’d ever seen, anyway, and he thought he’d seen most of them. Well. Maybe he hadn’t. For all he knew, Harry may have kept things he never showed Eggsy, just as he’d kept the recordings and his secret missions. The thought made Eggsy’s mouth twist. 

Harry’s brows furrowed and his expression turned to a light concern. He shifted his hands behind Eggsy’s back to jostle him back to the present. “What is it, Eggsy?” Harry asked softly, gently this time, with no trace of amusement or teasing in his tone. He was perhaps more worried than the situation actually merited, but he didn’t know that. All he knew was that something in Eggsy’s thoughts had tripped him up. 

Eggsy licked his lips. He could either make Harry wait until they did get home, or he could be out with it now, and see how Harry took it. Harry had agreed after all, but on the other hand, he hadn’t known what he was agreeing to. And if Harry really _didn’t_ have anything Eggsy was imagining in his home, maybe that meant Harry really wouldn’t like it. Doubt flickered across his mind, and he could see out of the corner of his eye Harry watching him with that concern still. 

But then again, this was something _Eggsy_ wanted. Something for himself. Harry had always asked for what he wanted, and Eggsy had nearly always decided to give it to him. Sure, that was because Eggsy had been young and didn’t know what options there were, and when he began to learn, he had no trouble asking for the things he liked, too, but he knew Harry already liked those things. 

Eggsy bit his lip and grounded himself. “I…,” he took a deep breath. “I know I’m still pretty young, y’know, uhm…physically. And I was thinkin’…. Well, I was thinkin’ I kinda wanted to see you take it, for once.”

Eggsy had forced the words out at the end, and Harry raised both eyebrows. It looked like it took him a moment for Eggsy’s request to sink in, and when it had, his face gradually slid back into its normal position, if a bit curious. “You’d like to be on top then, is that it?” Harry asked, prodding for clarification. It was pretty clear why he was asking. 

“I know I ain’t that big yet,” Eggsy admitted, and a splotch of colour bloomed on his cheeks. He could feel it, hot and certainly red, clear for Harry to see now that the flush of running around outside had dissipated. “But I was thinkin’ of other ways to do it. An’ I think there’s maybe some that I’d like jus’ as much.”

This time Harry raised a single eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?” His tone seemed genuinely curious, even if Eggsy could tell he was still surprised. Harry didn’t mind giving him pleasure. Harry loved it, in fact. More than loved it. But this was a little different. Eggsy had taken charge plenty of times in the past, but never quite like this. 

“I…was thinkin’ of gettin’ a dildo?” Eggsy hoped Harry wouldn’t laugh. Or be offended. Or think the idea was ridiculous. “Like I mean, I just want you to _feel_ it, y’know? I wanna do that to you, what you’ve done to me.” Eggsy blurted it out at once and braced for the reaction. 

On cue, Harry’s eyebrows raised again, but otherwise, his expression was quite…curious. Maybe even positively curious. He cocked his head and seemed to consider Eggsy for a moment. “Well now. That certainly would be an interesting endeavour.” After another pause of consideration, he came to a conclusion. “I don’t see why not.” And then his face broke out into a smile. 

Instantly, Eggsy did the same. Relief flooded through him. He wouldn’t have guessed a mere smile from Harry could have brought it on even more than his stated agreement, but it did. Eggsy’s chest felt like a weight had been lifted and he squirmed closer to Harry in excitement and gratitude. 

He hadn’t expected just how hard it would be to ask. When he’d thought about it at first, it seemed like an entirely possible idea at the time, and the fact that it interested him was all he needed. When it came closer to really asking Harry, however, a margin of uncertainty began to well within him. “Thank you, Harry.”

Harry huffed a laugh. “Let’s see what we can find tonight, shall we? And we’ll place an order. If Merlin is agreeable, we may be able to stay an extra day at the lodge. Otherwise, we’ll look when we’re home. What do you say?” He lifted his arms and wrapped Eggsy tighter, fingers playing with the delicate strands of hair at the nape of his neck, and every once in a while, Eggsy could feel the soft chuckles from Harry’s chest. 

“I think I’d like to stay another day, if I get to with just you. Even if part of it’s just in the room.” Eggsy’s smile turned devious. There was something about hotel rooms, something that made the idea feel more special. And now that he had one real victory under his belt, he felt there wasn’t much that could bring him down for the rest of their stay. 

Harry’s smile widened in return. “Very good, then.” He leaned in, slowly, gently, and placed a kiss to Eggsy’s mouth. In spite of the heat and suggestion in Eggsy’s gaze, Harry kept it chaste. Eggsy would know he wouldn’t stay chaste forever, but Harry appreciated this, too. This was a moment of victory. One for Eggsy, at that. He felt it needed the space it deserved, without him trying to change the mood. 

Eggsy bit his lip. “Maybe a dip in the jacuzzi ain’t a bad idea,” he offered, completely breaking Harry’s attempt at chivalry. His arms wound around Harry’s neck and held him there while Eggsy smiled up at him. It had been a while since Eggsy felt that way looking at Harry, soft and adoring and not coloured by other, unpleasant emotions. It was easier when he felt accomplished, himself, now. He didn’t quite know why. Maybe it just felt good not having to depend on Harry for once, and knowing that instead, Harry had depended on him. And he’d come through. 

Harry shook his head, but he was still smiling. “Oh alright. It’s really not that hard to convince me. And perhaps…. Perhaps I’ll join you this time?” It was a question. This was up to Eggsy. Harry hadn’t even been the one out there working himself ragged and building up a sweat. Eggsy needed to relax much more than he did. 

“Yeah. C’mon, old man.” Eggsy just grinned and sat up, extracting himself from Harry’s arms and hopping off the bed. He was less sore than he was earlier that morning, only because he’d been exercising again. He knew he’d very likely feel it later. Or tomorrow. But at least he knew what to expect now, and his body would recover quickly. 

Harry followed him while he shucked off pieces of clothing without a care, stretching his arms over his head and then his torso as he went, knowing he was giving the older man a show. It felt good. It felt like another kind of triumph altogether. Somehow long ago, he’d won this man, and Eggsy still had him. 

Harry didn’t close the door behind them, even as he began to follow suit. He was much more careful about where he put his clothes, however, taking off each piece, folding it, and setting it atop the towel rack after removing one for each of them. In spite of his careful methodology, it didn’t take long for Harry to get undressed. 

Catching sight of them in the mirror was an unusual scene. Harry, his hair still perfectly in place, his glasses gone, making his eyes look softer, full of fine lines and defined, if slim, muscle groups, scars here and there, and skin far from perfect, next to Eggsy, still smooth and beautiful and untouched, even though the boy was taller now and beginning to show the very first signs of his age. 

It would not be long, they both knew, before Eggsy well and truly entered into puberty. 

He smiled coyly at Harry and ran the water hot enough that steam rose from the tub. Eggsy took one last glance at them in the mirror, knowing it would be fogged over soon, and then stepped inside and beckoned Harry to join him. 

Harry did without pause. If he had any insecurities over his body next to Eggsy, he didn’t show it. Eggsy had always admired Harry’s body, but it was no secret that Harry fairly worshipped his. 

Harry settled down opposite Eggsy and spread his long legs out. The tub miraculously had space for the both of them, but Eggsy still scooted into the space left between Harry’s knees. The man leaned back against one of the jets and closed his eyes, taking a moment to enjoy the pressure. 

Eggsy would have done the same had he not been so entranced watching Harry experience it. He wondered if he’d looked like that the night before, and decided he probably had. Harry had been keen to watch him then, even though he was very respectful while he gave Eggsy a massage. Eggsy ran his hands over Harry’s knees, imagining when his legs would be that long. Maybe not quite _that_ long—Harry had told him he would likely always be the shorter of the two, having known his father—but still. It wasn’t so hard to imagine today. 

When Harry opened his eyes, he seemed to somehow know what Eggsy was thinking. Or he looked like he did, anyway. He reached out and offered his hand for Eggsy to take, and then pulled him close, turning him around so that his back was to Harry’s front and he could rest in between his legs. The position could easily turn sexual, all Eggsy had to do was push back, maybe lift himself up a little and grind against Harry, but it didn’t just yet. It was comfortable. 

It felt good to have Harry’s skin against his own. Eggsy tilted his head back and laid it against Harry’s shoulder while Harry took a handful of water and ran it through Eggsy’s hair. It was soothing, feeling the warmth of it, knowing it was washing the sweat away even if it was doing nothing for the flush he’d had from the outdoors. His cheeks felt hot in a good way now. 

“I’d like to do this all the time,” Eggsy whispered, dazed and content. He wasn’t thinking about the past. He was just thinking of today, and of the last half hour, more specifically, and how now he and Harry were…closer, in a way. He felt like he had raised himself up to Harry’s level, a place where he’d never quite managed to be no matter how much he wanted it. Some part of him knew it wouldn’t have been the same if Harry had pulled him up, instead of him doing it himself. 

That seemed to take Harry off guard. He turned his head and looked down at Eggsy, taking in his expression and considering his tone like he made an intricate study. Harry studied him for a long moment. 

“Would you really?” It was no wonder Harry was surprised. Eggsy’s feelings on Harry’s work had long seemed set in stone. Harry knew there were aspects of it Eggsy would always admire, but the boy had been terrified of him being in danger so often, terrified one day he wouldn’t come home, and just as often unsettled by the things Harry did both in his work and in his free hours. 

Eggsy knew Harry had all that in mind now, so he shrugged. He didn’t want to let it bother him now. He wanted to hold onto this moment. He knew he would have to ask himself that question later, but for the time being, he liked the thought of it—working by Harry’s side. That was answer enough, and he kept his mouth shut and let himself enjoy the way Harry’s hand ran through his hair when he started the strokes again. 

After several seconds of silence, Harry seemed to understand and didn’t push the question further. He simply pressed a kiss to Eggsy’s cheek, lips soft as the water. He ran his hands over Eggsy’s chest, pressing down into the muscle groups that had been working the hardest before moving on to one of Eggsy’s arms and then the other. Eggsy’s legs followed next, and very soon Eggsy was a limp pile of limbs in his arms as he worked. It wasn’t possible to get Eggsy’s back in that position, but that didn’t deter Harry. 

Eggsy felt like if he turned over, he might slip under the water straight away with how loose he felt. His eyes drifted shut and, distantly, he wondered if he could fall asleep like that. He didn’t want to fall asleep. His mind was too busy still with the mission so recent and Harry behind him, and Harry’s undisputed acceptance of his request. It was funny how much they’d been waiting around and yet so much had happened within the space of the last few hours. Eggsy wondered if Harry’s missions were often like that. In the logs, he usually only saw the relevant parts, and assumed the boring ones were deleted to save space or archived elsewhere. 

It wasn’t hard to imagine that was how it often went though. Especially when he knew how often Harry had fake identities and had to spend time getting into places. Eggsy thought back to the people he’d had to talk to living with the kids at that run down flat. He never had to pretend to be anything other than who he was to the customers they sold to, but he did often have to pretend for the people in their neighbourhoods. If Eggsy passed a police officer, he had to look totally normal, or find ways to avoid them altogether. If the client lived in a nice neighbourhood, he had to find ways to blend in or sneak in. He’d never ended up telling anyone quite how he’d got there, either. They’d all known bits and pieces about his life, but nowhere near the whole of it. Eggsy wondered if he’d be any good at it, doing what Harry did. 

“You’re thinking very hard,” Harry whispered in his ear. It brought a smile to Eggsy’s lips, which was surely his intention. “You did very well out there today, and you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself now, but I want to make sure…. You’ve been alright this trip, haven’t you?” Harry’s tone was tentative. It was that tone he used when he basically knew what to expect already, but wanted to make room for Eggsy’s reaction if there had been something Harry hadn’t taken into account. Eggsy sometimes thought it was a bit redundant, but then again, it was one of those things about Harry that was just…nice. 

“Was a bit boring at first, but yeah. I had a good time,” Eggsy admitted. Maybe Harry just wanted the opportunity to talk about it, too. But he didn’t follow up right away, even if Eggsy could tell he was pleased at that answer. He wondered how many missions Harry went on that were ethically questionable. Most he’d seen didn’t seem anywhere near the sort Harry and Merlin did in their personal projects, but Eggsy knew he didn’t know the context behind international relations and the politics of criminal warfare. Or regular warfare, for that matter. 

But he did have a good resource in Harry now, if he asked. He didn’t think Harry lied to him much anymore. There wasn’t much Harry had left to lie about, he supposed, and Harry certainly didn’t have to save face any longer. So Eggsy put it in the back of his mind to ask about later, perhaps when they got home and he’d had time to think about this experience. He knew he was riding the high right now. He hoped that feeling wouldn’t be soured, but he also knew to be wary about letting himself get carried away. 

“It’ll be a little while before the next one,” Harry mused, not being privy to Eggsy’s thoughts. “At least, the next one outside of London. I should be busy there after this trip for some time, but if you’d like to spend time on vacations with me again, I have a feeling Kingsman would find you very welcome to after this.” Harry was most likely referring to the way he’d taken Eggsy on vacations before, when he’d had a mission on the side or had just finished and had time to enjoy before he was due back in England. 

Eggsy thought about it for a minute. Sometimes they had been worrying, knowing Harry was working, but they had always been enjoyable, too. “I don’t think that would be a bad idea.” Right now he felt safe and secure enough, and _capable_ enough, himself. He hoped that if he got to accompany Harry on any more missions in the future, he wouldn’t have to be out of the loop as much as he used to be. He’d earned the right not to be coddled anymore. And Kingsman better recognise that. 

He sighed and closed his eyes, letting himself relax against Harry while Harry traced his long fingers over Eggsy’s tired muscles. They spent a while in the bath like that, before Harry finally decided it was time they get up, lest he turn into a prune. 

Eggsy had been coming down from the high in a pleasant way. His mind was turning to fog, but the kind of contented fog that reminded him of being sleepy, even when he knew he wasn’t. Harry, as Harry often liked to do, helped him dry himself, complete with messing up his hair with the towel and then running his fingers through it before placing an affectionate kiss against Eggsy’s temple. 

Harry dried himself with less care, but Eggsy’s eyes lingered on him all the while. Harry dressed a little more casually than he’d been before, but it was a good sign. A sign he was ready to relax. Artur Orlov wouldn’t realise his files had been stolen until Kingsman actually used them, which could mean it would be a long while before that happened, and Harry didn’t think they had much to worry about for the rest of their stay. 

Eggsy decided to find new clothes, seeing as how he’d sweated through the ones he was wearing earlier. While he was pulling a fresh shirt over his head, Harry patted his back as he passed, heading to the laptop. “What do you say we do a little shopping?”

He settled down into his seat and logged out of the Kingsman network, shutting down the portals between himself and Merlin and the rest of the team before bringing up a fresh window. 

With a brow quirked, Eggsy followed, unsure what Harry meant. Until Harry began typing and an array of sex toys appeared on the screen. 

Immediately, Eggsy flushed. Harry seemed unaffected, but Eggsy just wanted to slink back into the loo and not come out until Harry was done looking through them. It would have been different if he didn’t have such a vivid imagination of how such a toy might be used. Harry rarely flushed anymore when it was the reverse, when Harry talked about what he wanted to do to Eggsy, or even when Eggsy talked about that, but imagining Harry on the receiving end was a lot more embarrassing than he thought it would be. 

“What do you think?” Harry asked, just as calm as ever, as he clicked through a few, opening them in new tabs. While Eggsy stood there in silence, trying not to hide behind his hands, Harry went on scrolling and selecting them at random. Or, not completely at random. He was selecting the ones that looked realistic in one way or another—about normal size, with shapes that looked natural. Even veins. 

Eggsy swallowed and forced himself to stand next to Harry to really look. If he was going to do this, he knew he couldn’t shy away, as uncomfortable as it was. In the time he’d been away, he’d joked around with the other kids about dildos before, but it was always in jest. There were times before that though, that he imagined what it would be like to be as big as Harry, and to be the one on top. The fantasy wasn’t exactly new. It was just one he hadn’t been able to express much. And he still couldn’t quite believe Harry was willing to indulge him. 

“You know more about this than I do,” Eggsy pointed out, wondering whether Harry was waiting for him to point to the one he wanted. 

Harry merely chuckled. “Alright then, let’s see.” He scooted forward and began diligently going through them, keeping some in the tabs and closing others. He showed no signs of being uncomfortable with Eggsy watching over his shoulder, and even mumbled the descriptions aloud as he read. 

Little by little, Eggsy became more curious than he was mortified. With Harry so focused, it helped, because if Harry wasn’t embarrassed, he didn’t think he should be either. It wouldn’t have been weird to imagine Harry using any of these on him, strangely, but the other way around was still hard to talk about aloud. His eyes did catch on particular details, however, like the way some had a softer and smoother outer layer and a more rigid inner layer of material. Eggsy hadn’t expected that, but he imagined it would make it feel more like the real thing. 

He also began to wonder whether Harry had ever been with another man before. A grown man. When they had first met, Eggsy had just assumed Harry was also gay, and then gay, but with a fondness for younger men, even boys. Eggsy supposed if he were really honest with himself at the time, he’d thought he may have been an exception, that he seemed older than his years and had hoped that was partly why Harry had liked him back so much. He knew now it was true that Harry had liked his personality, that hadn’t been a lie, just, not for the reasons he’d thought. 

Now, however, he really did wonder how much experience Harry had, and if he had any, whether it was all for his work as an agent or whether he’d really enjoyed it. 

He must have been thinking too hard. Harry glanced at him, not out of the corner of his eye, but turned his head where he sat. When Eggsy flushed immediately, Harry smiled. It was a particularly self-satisfied glint that entered his eye before he turned back to the screen. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you flush like that.” Harry didn’t stop smiling. “What do you think of this one?”

The toy he brought up was mostly straight and had that realistic texture look. Eggsy had to glance at the size listed to even guess how big it would be, but found that it wasn’t ridiculously huge, although not small either. Probably around the same size as Harry’s, actually. Which was just another strange thought. 

Eggsy took a breath and shrugged. “Looks good to me. I mean, you’re the one who’s gettin’ it.” He tossed a cocky look at Harry, maybe to cover the awkwardness, just a little. “You ever done this before?”

Harry just levelled a look at him in return. “Eggsy. There are many things I’ve done before.” 

It came out so dry that all Eggsy could do was close his mouth and nod, unsure exactly how to take that, even as multiple ideas came into his mind. Missions were the first thing. It wasn’t hard to imagine a younger Harry having to seduce some older gentleman in order to work his way into some club or steal some documents just like they’d done on this trip. Eggsy knew how long Harry had been in this line of work, too. But he also had to wonder…whether Harry had ever wanted something like that for himself before. Eggsy certainly had. He’d maybe idealised the thought of having a lover a little too much, even, so much so that it hadn’t been difficult for Harry to sweep him up off his feet and put stars in his eyes. But then again, Eggsy had discovered very quickly what he wanted. Or maybe he was just bolder than most kids. It was hard to know how much credit to give himself and how much to give to Harry for how young he was with his first experiences with a man, but he still didn’t feel…like that part wasn’t his choice. 

He cocked his head a little and inspected the photographs on the monitor, imagining how it would feel to have Harry under him and a real dick that big. Then he tried to imagine it more realistically, knowing he would be using the toy instead. It put butterflies in his chest and a blush back on his face. He didn’t imagine he would feel so awkward if he was bigger, himself. And he knew he would be very soon. Only a year or two more was what he’d heard, but he really didn’t want to wait that long. 

“You ever been with a bloke before jus’, y’know, for fun?” Eggsy decided not to care about his awkwardness anymore and just ask. 

Harry raised an eyebrow and glanced at him. “Yes, I have. Although that was quite a long time ago.” Again, Harry didn’t sound nearly as awkward as Eggsy felt. He spoke casually, with no hint that he was aware Eggsy felt uncomfortable with this track of conversation at all. “Haven’t I ever told you?” The way his brow furrowed, he looked genuinely curious. 

Eggsy merely shrugged, trying to act as casual as Harry. “Didn’t get the details if you did.” Such was common to many of Harry’s stories about himself. 

Harry hummed and turned back to the screen. “Well you might not get them now, either. Suffice it to say that I did enjoy it at the time, however.” Eggsy was sure a muscle was tugging at the corner of Harry’s mouth, faint enough to be undetectable to anyone who didn’t know him so well. 

Harry navigated the shopping cart while Eggsy used the opportunity of distraction to punch him in the shoulder. “Can’t believe you ain’t gonna tell me what that was like,” Eggsy huffed. There was no bite to it though. He was still anxious and it was easier to cover with humour and bravado. 

“A gentleman does not kiss and tell. You should know this by now.” Harry got another playful shove for the comment and failed to grab Eggsy in return before he darted out of the way. “Do you want me to make this order or not?” With a put upon sigh, Harry rubbed his shoulder and moved the mouse over the confirmation button before he stopped to give Eggsy a look. 

That did the trick. Eggsy fell back and blushed again, even though he crossed his arms and tried to fight it. “Alright, yeah, ok, I’ll stop. Go for it.” 

Bravado above all. 

Harry gave Eggsy a knowing look before he turned back to the screen and clicked confirm. He sat back in his chair as the confirmation page loaded and crossed his arms as well. Harry managed to make it look far more casual. When he turned back to Eggsy, however, his face split into a smirk. His eyes fairly twinkled in either mirth or delight, it was hard to tell. Whatever Harry imagined to be Eggsy’s reasons for wanting this, he apparently really wasn’t put off. 

“Looks like we’re going to be having a lot of fun very soon.” Harry pushed the chair back and rose, sliding his fingers through the short hair at the back of Eggsy’s head as he passed. 

Eggsy didn’t know how to respond. He grasped for some witty comment, but came up with nothing. Although Harry let him go a moment later and went to tidy up their luggage, Eggsy remained rooted where he was, feeling like something in his chest was pulled along after Harry’s fingertips. He watched Harry move about the room—they had made a bit of a mess with getting ready and lingering about for so long—and thought about what it had felt like to watch Harry in their early days together. A lightness had wormed its way inside him, something warm and familiar. That was the only thing he could relate it to, even though this wasn’t then. Even though it would never be exactly the same. 

Eggsy still felt…happy, to be close to Harry again.


	59. Chapter 59

Eggsy awoke to warmth. It was the only thing he registered. All around him was pleasantly warm and comfortable. It was a light kind of warmth, not the suffocating feeling of leaving the fan off in summertime, but cocooned in blankets and, if he wasn’t mistaken, a pair of arms and a chest against his back. It was a familiar feeling, one that brought back happy memories and left him unsure where exactly he was. The odd thing was that he could tell the chest—Harry’s chest—wasn’t under the blankets with him. He could feel the plush comforter at his back between them, which made him distantly realise Harry must have already been up. 

Gradually, memories of the day prior and the success of the mission filtered back into Eggsy’s mind and he smiled knowing that he’d exceeded expectations. Their work was done. 

When Eggsy shifted, Harry’s arms tightened around him fractionally. He didn’t try to get up, or stretch, just burrowed deeper into the comfort of the embrace. Harry pressed a kiss just above his earlobe. “I have something for you. Whenever you’d like to get up.” His fingers twined around Eggsy’s slim wrists, thumbs stroking against the soft skin on their undersides, before Harry stopped and did his best not to rouse Eggsy too much. 

Eggsy’s attention was already piqued, however. He gave a deep sigh and yawned before he opened his eyes. He didn’t feel the need to turn and ruin the position he was in, but he was curious enough not to go back to sleep. “What’s that?” 

The sun was up and shining in on them, but it wasn’t too bright. Maybe Harry had pulled the shades down just enough, or maybe it was still early. Eggsy couldn’t tell what time it was, but he knew he’d slept in. He couldn’t tell whether Harry was dressed for the day or not either. The blankets hid the man’s arms and Harry’s casual dress was often indistinguishable from his usual dress. “You haven’t had breakfast already, have you?” Eggsy would have been sad to miss it. 

“Oh no,” Harry gave a soft laugh. “I’ve only just showered. We can go down later if you’re hungry, or…we could test out your little idea from yesterday.” He squeezed an arm around Eggsy, gently but suggestive. 

Eggsy rubbed at one eye, trying to think of what they could have possibly talked about yesterday…until it hit him. That Harry could possibly mean…. He did turn then, looking back to find Harry smiling down at him, bright and awake as ever. “Wait, you mean-- Didn’t we just order that last night?” Eggsy was dumbfounded. 

“Kingsman has excellent priority shipping.” Harry’s smile grew wider. He looked so pleased with himself, but in that subdued way he often had. One that Eggsy used to see so often and had been returning little by little. He placed his chin on Eggsy’s shoulder and rested there. He smelled of toothpaste and hair product, and there was that air of clean dampness about him that always lingered after the shower. All of it was comforting and familiar, and when Eggsy looked down, he saw that Harry was in fact dressed for the day, but casually so in slacks and a shirt he didn’t mind getting a little wrinkled. Not that Harry was ever too particular about such things when it came to relaxing with Eggsy. 

Eggsy just shook his head and grinned. He couldn’t believe Harry had been that quick about it. He would have thought the man might have delayed at least long enough to think it over for a while, but no, apparently not. Apparently Eggsy might have been the only one to imagine Harry had any reservations over not being the one on top. Either that, or Harry was just very willing to do whatever Eggsy asked of him. Which, to be fair, had been Harry’s modus operandi lately. Within reason. 

“You gonna let me up then?” Eggsy asked and raised a brow like he’d been waiting all along. 

Harry merely grinned, squeezed once, and let Eggsy go. He sat back on the bed and watched while Eggsy rolled onto his back and yawned again, stretching his arms and legs just enough to feel the muscles, but not enough to remove the comforter around him. Harry was the epitome of patience sometimes. Either that, or he just really liked watching Eggsy. 

“We gotta be anywhere today?” Eggsy asked, just to be sure. He didn’t want to try to do this on a schedule, even if Harry was rarely rushed for anything. Even when he should be. 

Harry shook his head. “We have plenty of time before I’m due to check in with Merlin.” He watched Eggsy spread out, taking that in and closing his eyes for another minute of rest before opening them again. They both knew how much Eggsy was anticipating this, and yet Harry kept his own excitement in check. 

“Alright then. I’m gonna shower ‘n brush my teeth.” Eggsy glanced to Harry again, clearly looking for any sign of apprehension while trying to play it cool. “An’ then I’ll be back, yeah?” 

Harry only smiled wider. “Very good.” 

He moved back to allow Eggsy to push down the covers and climb out of bed, still a bit dazed and groggy, but getting more awake by the minute. Eggsy padded off to the toilet, rubbing his eyes on the way. 

Once he was alone, he paused to look at himself in the mirror. What he found was a tired boy, if a familiar one. He couldn’t help but wonder how much he would change in the coming years. And how long it would take for his body to match the toy they’d just bought. He rubbed his face, trying to imagine his chin and jaw more defined, his eyebrows a little thicker, his skin a little rougher, and then tried to imagine himself standing next to Harry at such an age. 

It was hard not to let the familiar little twist of fear that Harry might not be as appreciative of him then trouble his stomach. He pushed it away as quickly as he could, determined to stay in the moment. He had an opportunity to focus on something he wanted now, and Harry was letting him. Enthusiastically so. He didn’t want to ruin it by spending his time worrying. 

And maybe this was a good sign, he thought to himself as he turned on the shower and climbed in. If Harry really was as accepting as he said, then maybe all of Eggsy’s worries were for nought. He scrubbed himself and washed his hair trying to imagine how this would go. Himself on top of Harry was something he hadn’t spent much time considering, logistically. He’d only considered how difficult it would be in the first place, which prompted this idea. He found butterflies beating in his stomach trying to plan how he would go about it, and what Harry might let him do and what he wouldn’t. And what Harry might _expect_ him to do, if he was taking the lead in this. 

Eggsy had taken the lead in their sexual encounters before. Many times. But this wasn’t the same. And he wanted, desperately, to be _good_ at it, he realised. When Harry was inside him, he knew how to make the man feel good. He knew how to make them both feel good. And Harry had no trouble on his end, either, but Eggsy…Eggsy had never done anything like this before. 

He calmed himself remembering he knew what he liked. In theory, he knew how to move from being on the bottom for so long. He could only hope that it wouldn’t be too awkward, and that he could do it right, and above all, that Harry would feel the same pleasure Eggsy was so used to. 

He let the water run a little longer than necessary while thinking it over, but in the end, he didn’t want to wait any longer and ruin the mood. This was supposed to be an experiment, after all. Even if he wasn’t as good as Harry the first time. 

And this was just Harry, he thought, towelling off and getting dressed again, even if he was about to be undressed. Harry had seen him at all points in his life, both high and low, and he’d seen Harry at the most hellish times as well. That helped. He found a shirt he could button up and stood watching himself in the mirror as he did so, setting his jaw and turning just a little this way and that. Even cocking his hips, imagining a cock twice the size of his own between his legs. He wasn’t as small as he used to be, but… 

Very suddenly he had a vision of watching himself in front of the mirror, imagining one of Harry’s cameras in the room with him. For once it just made him shake his head and laugh. So he did it again, put on a few poses. He truly didn’t think there was anyone watching, but at least he finally felt a little more confident about it if there was. In theory, anyway. 

He flipped the collar of his shirt and swiped his hair back, gave himself one last look, and opened the door. 

Eggsy hadn’t noticed when he’d woken that morning, but Harry had tidied up the room. He’d also closed the inner portion of the shades, just thick enough to block the view, but thin enough to let the morning sun stream through and light up the room. 

Harry himself sat upon the newly made bed, his back to the headboard, feet crossed, still in his casual wear, reading a book. His glasses were on the table, but facing away from the bed. Altogether, he looked like the very picture of leisure as he licked a finger and turned a page. He looked up at Eggsy only when Eggsy took a step out of the doorway, but when he did, a light smile touched Harry’s mouth. 

Harry set down his book and moved his glasses aside, then turned his full attention back to Eggsy. In perfectly smooth tones, he opened his mouth and asked, “So, Eggsy, how do you want me?”

Eggsy grinned. He couldn’t help it. All his apprehension melted away with those few words. It was ridiculous. Harry was ridiculous. But that made him Harry, even if no one suspected it at first sight. 

Eggsy crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his hips like he’d done in front of the mirror. “However I can get ya.” 

Harry’s smile turned crooked at the sight of it. His teeth made an appearance, but it was purely out of amusement and affection, Eggsy could tell, not one of his seductive or challenging smiles. He lifted himself up and bent over the other side of the bed before coming back up with a box Eggsy hadn’t noticed before. It was a bold navy blue, but otherwise fairly discreet. 

Harry settled back in the centre of the bed, legs crossed, and opened the lid. “Alright then.” 

Eggsy came closer to see, biting his lip unconsciously as he climbed up on the bed. 

There, nestled inside its packaging mold, was a very large, very _real_ version of the dildo Eggsy had seen on the website last night. The colour was a little different from human skin, but it looked soft enough to be realistic. 

Harry lifted it out of the box with purpose, holding it up between them so that Eggsy could see. “That’ll do just fine I think,” he mused and then held it out for Eggsy to take as though they were deciding on nothing more meaningful than dinner. 

To Eggsy’s surprise, he wasn’t unsure how to hold it or anything like that. He’d touched Harry enough that it probably didn’t seem so intimidating now. Once his fingers wrapped around the base, he noticed how different it felt, however. It wasn’t quite like real skin, and definitely not as warm as he was used to, although he hadn’t expected it to be. Whatever material it was made of was soft on the outside, but a little thicker than human skin, and more rigid on the inside. Eggsy ran his fist up it, just to see what it felt like, and thumbed over the head. 

Harry watched intently the whole time. The small smile he wore never left his face, but he didn’t interrupt either. Like he was proud to let Eggsy explore. Maybe even anticipated Eggsy using it. He delved into the box again and pulled out a set of soft leather straps that Eggsy quickly realised were a harness. 

“Based on the measurements, this should fit quite comfortably,” Harry told him as he buckled the straps together and then handed it, too, over for Eggsy to inspect. 

Eggsy had nearly forgotten about that part. He’d seen some porn where women wore them, but he couldn’t tell how hard it was to actually…move properly. At least not from those videos. He supposed he’d find out, and if it didn’t work as well as he hoped, then he could always use his hands. 

He drew the harness up to his hips and shot Harry a cocky grin. “Think it’ll look good?” 

Harry snorted. “Definitely.” 

Before he could elaborate, however, Eggsy leaned forward, over the box and all, and caught Harry by the back of the neck to kiss him. Harry went quiet at that, allowing Eggsy to take control. It was strange, what a difference it made simply knowing that that was what Eggsy was doing, in a different context this time. He’d pulled Harry into kisses before. Many times. But never with the understanding between them that it would be Eggsy on top. He felt like there was a certain role that came with it, one that Harry took on so naturally between them whenever he touched Eggsy or guided him. Whenever Harry showed him anything, it was subtly there. It was there to the point where Eggsy could almost feel it even when Harry wasn’t guiding him, it was just understood between them. 

Maybe a part of that was just his imagination, especially in the moment, and maybe another part of it was certain imbalances between them that had always been there, but Eggsy didn’t have time to pick it all apart just then. When he was younger, it had felt comforting. Harry’s dominance and care was a security, one that shifted greatly later on, but Eggsy was beginning to see that he could take control in certain ways himself. Such as this. And, surprisingly, such as the mission. 

The thought of that gave him the spark he needed to lift himself up taller, press back on Harry’s shoulders, and send the man down against the bed. 

Harry went without protest. He looked up at Eggsy, softly smiling, and seemed to understand that their positions were shifting. His touches, fingers in Eggsy’s hair, turned to a leisurely caress instead of a movement that implied he wanted more or suggested that he would move Eggsy. It was odd to think that touches so simple could imply patience and a certain amount of submission, but Harry somehow seemed to manage it. 

So well that for a second, Eggsy didn’t know what to do. Harry was laid back and waiting for him, and had he been thinking in terms of their usual dynamic, he wouldn’t have hesitated at all, but now he had to think about what he wanted to do next. Or what he should do next. 

Eggsy swallowed. “You really ok with this?” The butterflies threatened his stomach again. He felt awkward asking, but on the other hand, it was a question that lingered in the back of his mind. He was pretty sure that Harry was, in fact, as ok as he said he was. Harry didn’t often lie about things like that, even when he was doing something nice for Eggsy. He usually just calmly explained that while he might not be as interested in whatever the situation was, he was more than happy to do it for Eggsy. 

Harry’s smile grew softer. He reached up with both hands to cup Eggsy’s face. “I really am,” he said with a tone of finality. “This will be a learning experience for you, I’m sure,” he added. “And I can help with that. I am aware it’s something you’ve imagined for some time now. Perhaps not with a toy, but….” He smiled wider. “We’ll have to save that for a later date, shall we?” 

Eggsy blinked. Then grinned. He laughed softly. It was hard to believe Harry was finally acknowledging all that. Acknowledging not just that he would grow up, but that they would continue what they had, and he was doing so in a positive way. There was no bittersweet taint to the topic, and Eggsy was surprised at how much he appreciated that. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Eggsy tried to act confident again as he sat up and began undoing his shirt. He watched Harry as Harry watched him, taking in the way the man relaxed into the bed, willing to wait for Eggsy’s unhurried pace. Eggsy started slow. He needed to think about every move he made. But then again, he didn’t want to over think it all either. That would just ruin the mood, and Harry would be able to tell. 

Harry’s hands came up to his hips, slipping under the shirt as Eggsy reached the last button. Eggsy nearly paused, but then Harry was helping. His hands ran up Eggsy’s sides and gently helped him push the shirt from his shoulders. Harry swung it to the side of the bed where it was soon forgotten. His hands followed down the plains of Eggsy’s skin, not moving yet to help with his trousers, even when Eggsy went for the button himself. 

Harry had that look on his face, the one that said he was just enjoying seeing Eggsy like this. Their last encounters had been a little more intense, a little more fraught with uncertainty on both their parts, but strangely Harry seemed secure about this one. Maybe it was because Eggsy had asked for it. They both knew that this wasn’t for Harry, even if he would enjoy it. 

Eggsy lifted his hips and slid his trousers down his legs before kicking them off. Deliberately, he left his boxers on. He didn’t want to be completely bare yet. 

Once he was finished, he moved onto Harry. “C’mon, I don’t lay down there like that, do I?” he teased, bending over Harry and going in for a kiss. 

Harry laughed and wrapped his arms loosely around Eggsy’s bare back. “Oh yes, you have.” He grinned against Eggsy’s mouth and then lifted himself up, deftly unbuttoning his own shirt and then tossing it behind him. 

Harry wasn’t as slow about it as Eggsy was, although Eggsy helped pull off his trousers and the rest. Already it was a strange experience for Eggsy to have one more piece of clothing than Harry when they were finished, but Harry acted like it wasn’t unusual at all. He hooked his arms around Eggsy’s middle again and pulled him down to land atop Harry. 

Eggsy hadn’t been certain until just then whether Harry would sit back and force Eggsy to take control of everything. Apparently not. But this was nice. It meant Eggsy didn’t have to think quite so much about what he wanted to do and how he wanted to do it if Harry was willing to step in and pick up the slack. 

Eggsy remembered all those times Harry’s eyes lit up when he really got into it. Even some of their very first times together when Eggsy was still testing out what he could do. The more he overcame his nervousness, the prouder Harry seemed to be. It probably helped Harry, he realised. That Harry knew what he liked and didn’t have to do everything on his own, even if Harry was very good at taking care of Eggsy. 

Harry’s kiss was slow but insistent. He didn’t let Eggsy pull back for long, but he wasn’t rushing it either, just encouraging a steady slide between their bodies. Unsurprisingly, he was getting hard by the minute with Eggsy’s hip rubbing against his crotch. As dry as it was, Harry didn’t complain. 

Harry’s hands slid over Eggsy’s back and down to his arse, squeezing lightly, and Eggsy had to pull his mind away from his usual thoughts of rubbing up against Harry, of lifting his hips so that Harry’s cock pressed between his legs and rubbed underneath him. The memory of it, however, was enough of a distraction to turn him on. It was an easy, familiar thing to think about, and it helped. 

This time, however, Eggsy shifted and pressed one of his thighs in between Harry’s legs, deliberately rubbing against his cock along the way, but not focusing there. Eggsy remembered Harry doing that to him on more than one occasion, and it was nice, feeling like he was riding it with just a little bit of pressure. 

To his satisfaction, Harry’s breath hitched. He spread his legs just wide enough to let Eggsy move, and tightened when Harry wanted to keep him there. 

They spent a long moment like that, just getting used to the feeling of Eggsy setting the rhythm, of him pushing between Harry’s legs. Even if he had to sit a little lower to do so, it wasn’t as awkward as he’d thought it would be. While his leg rubbed in between Harry’s, his own cock was trapped between them as well, and it was easy to imagine feeling this kind of pleasure while actually being inside. 

Every time Eggsy pushed a little harder or rubbed Harry’s cock just right, Harry breathed deep in a way that told Eggsy he was thinking about it, too, and it sounded like he enjoyed it. 

After a little too long rubbing like that, Eggsy reached for the packet of lube that had come with the box. He didn’t know if they’d need to find more, but it was at hand and he didn’t want to wait. He tore it open and spread it over his fingers, letting Harry watch as he did so, and then wrapped them around Harry’s cock. 

Harry’s eyes shuttered and he let out a soft moan while Eggsy gently worked him. This, too, was familiar, but Harry understood that right now it was just to help with the dryness and likely nothing more. He still encouraged Eggsy to be thorough though with little thrusts of his hips into Eggsy’s hand. 

When Eggsy was finally satisfied, he thought for a minute and then pushed his boxers down before kicking them to the side. He didn’t want to do this with them on after all, not when he could feel Harry’s skin against his own. He spread a little more lube between them and then resumed a few more rocking thrusts. 

Harry seemed content to lay back and let him take control, until Eggsy sat up and looked over the harness. 

Immediately, Harry was up to help him put it on. He must have guessed that it would be awkward the first time, and that Eggsy might be embarrassed, so, deftly, he took it and fitted the dildo into place and then slid the straps around Eggsy’s hips and waist. His hands moved swiftly, but slowly enough that Eggsy could watch what he was doing. 

When Harry was done, it was snug and waited fairly well. Surprisingly so. Eggsy had thought it might have felt less secure than it did from what images he’d seen of such things. Harry lifted up to press a kiss against Eggsy’s mouth and distracted him for long moment. He didn’t seem to be trying to calm Eggsy or anything like that, more like he went in just because Eggsy was there and open to it. 

There were probably a lot of times lately that Harry wanted to kiss him, but refrained. Eggsy had caught some of them, seen Harry studying him with a certain wistful look on his face for too long before realising he was caught and glancing away. It had been up to Eggsy to initiate things if he wanted to, however, not Harry. 

Now that Harry had the chance, he was taking it. He nibbled at Eggsy’s lower lip and looped his arms around Eggsy’s back, indulging before he pulled away again. 

When Harry laid back down on the bed, he pulled Eggsy with him. 

Eggsy went slowly, deciding how to fit himself atop Harry now that he had an extra…appendage. It rested just above his own, smaller cock, and Eggsy thought he might just be able to reach under it and stroke himself if he wanted to. 

He laid atop Harry, both of them stretching out, and fortunately Eggsy wasn’t as short as he used to be, because apart from Harry’s long legs, he could align himself well enough so that Harry’s cock rubbed against the toy between his legs and he could still wrap his arms around Harry’s shoulders. 

There were a few minutes of just getting a sense of how Eggsy could move and how he had to position himself with Harry. Harry, meanwhile, helpfully guided Eggsy with gentle touches to where he wanted. Eggsy gave experimental thrusts, rubbing up against Harry and trying to manage it in ways that gave Harry pleasure as well. 

Harry kissed him whenever Eggsy started to overthink it. He drew a hand down Eggsy’s back, cupped his arse, and pulled until Eggsy started thrusting again, guiding him in preparation. 

All of this would come a little more naturally if it had been his real cock, Eggsy suspected, but that wasn’t to say it was difficult, either. He let his hands wander over Harry’s body in the way that Harry so often did with him. Like he owned it. Like Harry was his to do as he pleased, all spread out just for him. And Eggsy remembered wanting that, so long ago, not just wanting to be loved, but wanting someone like Harry. He’d thought he’d set his sights on Harry first. He’d never lost that appreciation, but sometimes it was easy to let it be overshadowed by Harry’s desire for him and the things Harry did to secure what he wanted. 

Eggsy broke their kiss to move down to Harry’s neck. He felt it when the man swallowed. With pressure, he could feel Harry’s pulse. He moved down until he reached Harry’s collar bone and found a scar here and there. Eggsy kissed over them, remembering just how dangerous the job could be with the help of these vivid little reminders. He tried not to linger there too long, however. 

Harry’s hands fell to Eggsy’s back, letting him explore without interruption. Whenever Eggsy did something Harry liked, he let out a soft sound, or lifted just a little to press back into the touch and encourage Eggsy on. They both knew Harry didn’t have to be this submissive. That wasn’t necessarily even part of the arrangement, but it was apparently an experience Harry wanted to give to Eggsy, when he felt confident enough for it. 

When Eggsy moved down to Harry’s belly button, he laughed, apparently ticklish. Eggsy just did it again, enjoying the sound. Harry’s hands fell into his hair and ruffled it, and Eggsy noted the man was growing even harder. Maybe it was anticipation. Maybe it was Eggsy’s position, down low on Harry’s stomach, resting just above his hips like he was about to take Harry’s cock in his mouth. But Harry’s hands remained relaxed in Eggsy’s hair, and he didn’t try to lead Eggsy towards sucking him off. 

All the better that Harry was as aroused as he was for this, that much Eggsy knew from experience. 

Finally, Eggsy went for the packet of lube again and swiped some onto his fingers. He made sure that Harry could see what he was doing, just in case, but Harry gave no objections and his hips even shifted like he was impatient for it. Eggsy smiled up at him. 

It occurred to Eggsy that even if Harry had done this before, it would have been a while ago. He wasn’t sure if that really mattered. Eggsy had never forgotten what it felt like to have Harry inside him. Harry probably remembered, even if it was longer. 

Still, Eggsy was tentative as he reached his hand down, trailing his fingers lightly over Harry’s skin along the point where his thigh met his pelvis, recreating a sense memory that Harry himself had given Eggsy, until he dipped lower, stroking with a little more pressure just beneath Harry’s balls, and then down farther. 

Harry’s eyes drifted lower as Eggsy pressed a finger lightly over his entrance. His legs parted by degrees, just enough to tell Eggsy that it was still welcome. Harry didn’t close his eyes all the way though. 

Eggsy could tell he was still being watched as he circled a finger there. He did that for a while, just watching the expression on Harry’s face before finally applying pressure. Eggsy’s finger sank inside Harry through a ring of resistance, tight, but not too tight for it to be painful, Eggsy knew. It was soft and strange. Eggsy had only ever done this to himself before, but when he had, he’d had the benefit of feeling it from the other side as well. 

He let Harry take a minute to get used to it, even though Eggsy knew one finger wasn’t too much at all. He was also letting himself get used to it, he supposed, before he made sure he had enough lube and then added another. 

Harry made no sounds of discomfort, or anything other than the parting of his legs just a fraction wider. Eggsy’s fingers weren’t very large to begin with. They were slender, and not very long. Eggsy did know how to use them, however. He pressed in a little farther and pushed up, searching and rubbing at the same time until Harry let out a soft gasp. 

Harry wasn’t surprised that Eggsy was able to do that, but he _was_ surprised at the sensation. It was one he hadn’t felt in a long time. To be sure that Eggsy knew it was appreciated and not unwelcome, he shifted his hips down the next time Eggsy pressed up, working subtly against him to create more of that friction. 

Again, Harry moaned and his eyes blinked open to better watch. 

Eggsy grinned. Harry was taking to this better than he’d thought. On the other hand, he’d always known Harry was a bit of a lush, but he looked completely indulgent, spread out on the bed, wide open and moving against Eggsy like he didn’t care about anything else in the world. Eggsy tried to move deeper and still stroke where it would give Harry the most pleasure. The more he did this, the more certain he became that the way Harry prepared him was not going to do as much to prepare Harry with his small fingers. He worked in a third anyway, knowing that tight ring of muscle was what he needed to focus on most. And Harry did feel tight around him. 

The man’s expression changed only slightly. He didn’t wince or show any outward signs of pain, but he certainly felt it. Still he lifted his hips to meet Eggsy’s little thrusting motions and looked to be in pleasure while getting his prostate rubbed. He was lucky he’d taught Eggsy about that spot so well, Eggsy decided. 

Laid out like that, Harry didn’t look at all the threatening spy Eggsy remembered so vividly sometimes. He looked more like the Harry Eggsy had known when they first met. 

After a few minutes more, Eggsy finally decided it was time. Harry wasn’t going to get any more ready than he already was, and Eggsy didn’t want to draw out the foreplay so long either of them might start to overthink things. He drew his fingers out and went for the lube again, feeling the butterflies back in his stomach, but knowing this was his job now. He knew the motions from Harry. Liberal amounts of lube, deliberate motions, careful to watch his partner’s face for signs of discomfort. 

It still felt strange for Eggsy to be doing it now. Especially when he applied it to the toy sticking up between his legs as though it were a real cock. For a few seconds longer than necessary, Eggsy kept stroking the thing, covering it thoroughly with lube. Out of curiosity, he did so like he was enjoying it as though it were his own. The motion had been for himself at first, something purely exploratory, but then he caught Harry watching through half lidded eyes. 

Eggsy gave him a small, crooked smile, and then climbed up over him again for a kiss. 

Harry sighed into it, relaxed but still quite eager. Eggsy could feel his arousal between them, as hard as Eggsy’s own improvised one. Just as Eggsy was having doubts about the whole thing, that he was beginning to think he should ask Harry one more time if he really wanted this, but knowing it would be even more awkward at this point, Harry placed his hands on either side of Eggsy’s face and refused to let him go. 

For a long moment, Harry controlled the kiss. He wanted Eggsy to stay and directed him to do so with a solid resistance that wasn’t there a minute ago, but it was _familiar._ Perhaps not as often during their kisses, but there were many times Harry held him in place when he wanted to, and Eggsy allowed it, or playfully fought it. Pinning Eggsy down was one of them, and memories of it sparked in Eggsy’s mind. Somehow, he found them reassuring. And this little display of Harry’s, of Harry wanting him, even with what he was about to do to Harry, that was reassuring, too. 

Eggsy licked his lips when Harry finally let go. He stayed there a moment, arms planted against the bed, caging Harry in. Their eyes met, and Harry’s were still filled with familiar fondness and heat, and perhaps the lightest furrow of a question in his brow. So Eggsy responded with a surer smile, and let himself settle back into the mindset he’d wanted. 

They were really going to do this. 

Eggsy didn’t take his eyes away from Harry’s until his fingers drifted down Harry’s body again and light hairs turned to coarse ones, until his palm found the ridge of a hip and his fingers found Harry’s cock. Eggsy stroked it idly while he sat up to better position himself. Every one of his movements were from Harry. They’d settled somewhere in the back of his mind in a database of touches that he was somehow able to call upon when needed. He was almost surprised he could, but equally glad for it. 

With one hand still around Harry’s cock, Eggsy aligned the toy with the other. He bit his lip and watched it brush at the place between Harry’s legs, still spread open for him. He watched the tendons where the man’s thighs met his hips strain, just waiting for it. Finally, Eggsy placed the tip against Harry and began to push. 

Almost immediately, Harry’s mouth fell open. Not too wide, just a little part of his lips, but it was a sight to see. Eggsy nearly stopped, thinking he might have hurt Harry, but then quickly realised he shouldn’t if he didn’t want to draw out the discomfort too long. 

After another moment, Harry seemed to recover from the initial feeling. Apparently, it _had_ been a while since he’d had this particular experience. His breath still came gently, however, and besides the slight tension in his face, his body remained relaxed. It either didn’t hurt that much, or Harry was simply used to withstanding discomforts. 

When Eggsy had guided it all the way in and he was leaning over Harry again, Harry shifted his hips up, finding the angle he wanted while Eggsy stayed as still as he could. 

Eggsy could barely believe this was happening. When he glanced down, he could just see the end of the toy going into Harry, between his own still slim hips and Harry’s wider ones. It was…remarkable, the thought that Eggsy had no idea who had ever done this to Harry before, and suspected it was very, very few. He couldn’t help but wonder if the last time Harry did this, outside of a mission, was when he was still a boy himself. Or maybe a young man. Either seemed likely. The thought gave Eggsy such a surge of affection that it was hard not to smile down at Harry and accidentally look like he was enjoying the man’s pain a little too much. 

That thought, in turn, made it even harder. 

When Harry’s eyes opened again and caught him at it, Harry let out a soft breath that sounded a lot like amusement. “You like this, do you?” His voice was a rough purr. Quiet and challenging, and something that sent tingles down Eggsy’s back. “Let’s see how you like it when we’re really moving,” Harry hooked his ankles around Eggsy’s back and pulled him in. 

Eggsy went with it, moving just a little deeper and then rocking back with the natural movement as Harry let up. There was no discomfort on Harry’s face that time, just a small breath. The second time Harry’s legs pulled him in, Eggsy pushed forward deliberately, testing out the motion for himself. It was easy enough with how snug the straps were, and if he just looked down, he would watch it sink into Harry. 

Eggsy quickly found it was hard to pull his eyes away. It wasn’t his own cock, but it _could have been_ , and he felt an answering surge of arousal at merely the thought alone. He began breathing a little harder himself the more they rocked like that. 

Harry was definitely feeling it. Every other thrust, he let out a hitch of breath and Eggsy felt the muscles in his thighs tighten. Eggsy tried a different angle, moving until Harry let out a soft gasp that sounded like pleasure. He bit his lip and did it again, and got the same response. Harry’s eyes even closed, but he didn’t stop helping Eggsy along. 

Along with the way Harry’s head tipped back, his chest expanded, and his hips started moving in counter to Eggsy’s small thrusts, came a heady rush of satisfaction over Eggsy. He was _doing this_ to Harry. He was the one causing this pleasure. He was the one who had control of it. And so he started moving in his own rhythm, timing his thrusts just to see the expressions change on Harry’s face. Soon Harry stopped encouraging him forward and simply began pressing back against him to the rhythm Eggsy chose. It hadn’t been as easy to do this from the bottom, but now, Eggsy didn’t have to fight for control at all. He simply had it. 

Harry’s hands reached down and took hold of his thighs, gripping lightly, but not stopping Eggsy. It was more like Harry just wanted to feel him. Eggsy’s hands wrapped around his wrists in return and his thrusts didn’t stop, just another little sign of how he was in control. 

Usually, Harry fought back if Eggsy wanted to fight for this role in the first place. It was always in play. He’d never reversed their positions or held Eggsy down against Eggsy’s wishes, and whenever Eggsy really wanted to fight, Harry always let him win. This time, it was a little different. There was no token protest on Harry’s part. And there wasn’t meant to be. Eggsy wasn’t taking anything away from him and claiming it for himself; this role was Eggsy’s from the start. 

When Harry opened his eyes, he looked like he wanted something, however. Eggsy didn’t realise what it was until Harry twisted his wrists and took hold of Eggsy’s, pulling him down while lifting himself up at the waist. Harry pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn’t the most comfortable angle for either of them, but Harry was fervent about it and he refused to let Eggsy go until he’d gotten a proper taste of him. 

When they broke, Harry collapsed back down and moaned softly at the next thrust. And the one after. And the one after that. Eggsy gripped his hips tight, head in the clouds with the sensation of seeing Harry like this, coming undone further and further. He hadn’t quite imagined it so vividly before. In his mind, Harry underneath him had been some approximation of this, but he had failed to anticipate just how it would _feel_ to be in this position. 

Finally, when Harry’s returning thrusts began to get less coordinated, when his soft grunts grew an edge to them, Eggsy took pity and wrapped a hand around his cock. 

Harry let out a loud groan at that, his mouth open, looking a little bit obscene. His hair was falling into his eyes from the way he jerked his head, lifting his hips into Eggsy’s hand. He’d appreciated that, it seemed. Quite a lot. Harry’s fervour doubled, but still Eggsy controlled the pace. 

It took a few strokes for Eggsy to match it properly in time with his hips, but once he did, Harry was panting softly at every one. He sped up, realising it wouldn’t be long now, not with the way Harry was writhing and how hard his hands were clenching against Eggsy’s thighs again. Eggsy bit his lip, sat up a bit, and began to drive home as fast and as hard as he could. 

He was right. Harry didn’t last long after that. He threw his head back against the mattress and seemed to have trouble keeping his eyes open. At the end, his countering thrusts lost their rhythm completely. When Harry came, it was in long ropes over his stomach and a long and low whine. 

Grinning, Eggsy rode all the way through it, squeezing his cock gently until the last drop fell and then slowing his hips to a standstill. He didn’t realise how hard he’d been breathing until they stopped. Between the two of them, it was tough to tell who was louder. 

Harry lay there, back against the mattress and hands still clutched at Eggsy’s thighs although they’d lost their tight grip. His eyes had finally closed. He looked like he’d been frozen in the moment until his eyes opened. He looked at Eggsy and sighed softly. A small smile graced his face, and his hands turned gentle against Eggsy’s thighs, massaging them slowly up and then back down again. 

Eggsy realised he should pull out, and did so as carefully as he could. It didn’t seem to bother Harry any. Harry just lifted up, hooked an arm around his middle, and pulled him down atop the man. 

Eggsy let out a laugh before Harry kissed him. Long and slow, Harry relished it while he came the rest of the way down from orgasm. 

When they parted, Eggsy didn’t pull back, and Harry didn’t let him. “Not bad for your first time,” Harry mused. 

“Looks that way.” Eggsy glanced down to Harry’s stomach and then grinned back up at him. “Now you know what it feels like, yeah? Or, you have a new reminder. Whenever you do that to me….” He got distracted looking down again, seeing the toy still wrapped around his waist, pressed up against Harry where they lay together and Harry’s spent cock lying half hard next to it. 

Harry glanced down as well. “It is quite a different experience, I’ll grant you. However, I still believe I owe you a thank you. For taking care of me so well.” He raised his brow and looked pointedly between Eggsy’s legs. 

Harry wasn’t referring to the toy, however. As much satisfaction as Eggsy had gotten out of that encounter, he hadn’t actually gotten off or had much stimulation for himself besides the occasional bit of rubbing. Harry seemed keen on remedying that. When Eggsy didn’t protest, Harry’s hands found their way to the harness and undid the straps around Eggsy’s waist, removing the dildo and setting it aside entirely. In a few simple motions, Eggsy was himself again. 

Harry turned them so that Eggsy was on his side and Harry could lean over him, pressing a kiss to his lips that grew heated with Harry’s intent. 

Even though Eggsy couldn’t do this with the dildo, he definitely wasn’t going to turn Harry down. He’d gotten what he wanted, and now he got to enjoy a little bit more. 

Harry began working his way down Eggsy’s body, and Eggsy sat back and relaxed. He let his legs fall apart when Harry settled between them, and propped his head up with his arms behind it to watch with a smile. 

“So confident now,” Harry teased, glancing up at him. “Be careful. It can be all too easy to become overly cocky that way.” 

Eggsy screwed his eyes shut and groaned. “ _Harry_. Outta all the horrible puns in the world, you gotta pull that one?” He felt like kicking the man, just for ruining the mood. 

Harry quickly made up for it, however, and lowered his head to press kisses between Eggsy’s thighs, circling his cock. The real one this time, and it made all the difference. Harry’s lips and tongue were a tease, pressing everywhere but where Eggsy wanted him, but it was nice, too. Harry didn’t draw it out too far, just enough to get Eggsy excited for what he did next. 

He started with his tongue alone, drawing up the underside of Eggsy’s shorter length and drawing breath out of him along the way. Harry swirled around the head of it and then brought his lips down, slowly encasing the whole thing in his mouth until he reached the base. For a moment he lingered there, breathing Eggsy in and undulating his tongue along the underside, forcing Eggsy to wriggle with the sensation. 

Again, Harry didn’t tease for too long. He must have known Eggsy had been aroused throughout the whole thing and had been waiting up until now for any relief whatsoever. When he began to suck, it was slow, but deliberate, each stroke firm. 

Eggsy threaded his fingers in Harry’s hair, clutching tight. He wasn’t yet ready to give up the role he’d taken on that morning, not totally, and directing Harry like this was an absolute pleasure. Once Harry felt the pull of hands, he gave over the rhythm to Eggsy. Still sucking just as hard, Eggsy began to quicken the pace ever so slightly. He thought about what it would be like, someday, to have Harry do this with him at full size. Harry loved his cock when it was little. That had always been obvious in the way he lavished attention on it and touched it whenever he could, but Eggsy was pretty sure now that Harry would still do this for him. He closed his eyes and let the sensations take hold. 

Harry remained focused on his task. Even though the pace picked up little by little, the strength of his tongue remained the same. This wasn’t all about thanking Eggsy. This was Harry enjoying himself. Enjoying Eggsy. Getting to have the boy like this again. Every time he could, it meant something to him. Eggsy knew it, too. And so far, Eggsy had not abused that desperation, or that gratitude in Harry. 

Someday, they might return to the surety they’d once had. Neither knew when, but it seemed possible. Especially in moments like this. 

When Eggsy came, he gripped Harry tight by the hair and didn’t let him pull back. Harry gave no indication that he wanted to. His tongue moved over the head of Eggsy’s cock, licking until the wave of sensation had passed all the way through him, and then some. 

Dazedly, after his head had slumped back against the mattress, Eggsy realised Harry was licking up whatever drops of cum he’d released. He glanced down just as Harry was pulling off and smiling up at Eggsy with that soft, satisfied look he had about him. Eggsy took a deep breath and pulled him up. 

Harry went easily in for a kiss, settling down beside Eggsy even though Eggsy didn’t let him go far. There was a slight taste of salt on Harry’s tongue, but it was hard to tell if that was anything more than sweat. 

When they parted, Harry burrowed against the mattress and pulled Eggsy close with an arm around his middle. This was more like what they used to do, with Harry’s long body curved around him, wrapped in a loose embrace. It was a comfort for Eggsy, but he suspected it was even more so for Harry now. 

They laid like that for a long time. Neither wanting to move until the sweat and the slick on their skin dried and cooled, and then Harry brought a blanket up over their shoulders to make it last a little longer. It was one of those moments time stood still. There was nothing outside of their bed. No Kingsman. No Merlin. No hotel. And no future. 

But there was the past. Moments like this, Eggsy could remember. There were dozens of them in Harry’s house, in Harry’s bed, in Harry’s arms…when he’d wanted to be nowhere else. Just as he did now. 

Harry nuzzled against Eggsy’s cheek. If he could speak without words, Eggsy suspected he might have been saying the same. Harry was probably too into the moment to speak. Maybe he feared he would break it, just like Eggsy had felt many times lately when they’d had a moment together. He didn’t feel that way as much just then though. 

“Thank you, Harry.” Eggsy turned just enough to look in his eyes, and offered a small smile. 

An answering smile spread across Harry’s face. He reached up to touch Eggsy’s hair, to run a hand down his neck and stroke along his jaw. “Thank _you_ , Eggsy.” 

Harry lifted Eggsy’s hand and pressed a kiss to it, which should have seemed funny, but it wasn’t. Eggsy had the vague memory of Harry doing that to him sometime long ago, and he’d been struck by how much of a gentleman Harry really was. Not the snooty, more important than everybody else type, but a real one. One who didn’t actually think himself better than anyone else, and wasn’t, not by any stretch of societal or ethical standards, but Harry knew that. Somewhere along the line, Harry had accepted that as his lot in life. 

It wasn’t until Eggsy that he’d realised he could do better. And still be who he was. 

Eggsy smiled back, squeezing Harry’s hand. It was all so much to think about, just then, but the realisation resonated inside Eggsy, deep down. “Yeah,” he said, soft as Harry had done, “thank me, too.” It was cheeky, but he meant it. He was grateful for what Harry had done for him, but he was sure that Harry wouldn’t have done it for anyone else, and Harry knew it, too. 

Harry held Eggsy in his arms and Eggsy let himself drift in peace, in and out of thought and blank nothingness, coloured with little more than feeling and the physical sensations of comfort around him. For once, he felt safe and secure enough to let go of the worries in his mind. He stopped thinking about how long it had been since he’d felt that way, stopped thinking about the past or the future, or anything but how he felt just then and what they might do for the rest of the day. Thoughts of breakfast made his stomach rumble. Thoughts of the slopes, this time with Harry, made his sore muscles ache, but in a good way. Thoughts of the plane ride home left him with excitement to see the jet again, and wonder at whether their landing back at Kingsman headquarters would be nearly as cool as their takeoff. 

When Eggsy’s stomach rumbled for the second time, Harry chuckled and placed a kiss at his temple. “Time to get up, I think. Let me check in with merlin and then we’ll go and find some breakfast. What do you say?” He sat up and ruffled Eggsy’s hair affectionately, looking every bit the man Eggsy had wished he could have when he was littler. The man he’d had for a time. 

“Sounds good. Lemme just get cleaned up a bit. Again.” Eggsy snorted and, with a sigh, made himself get up with Harry’s help. 

Harry found a towel and wrapped it around himself as he went for his glasses, giving Eggsy first use of the bathroom. When Eggsy turned on the faucet and ran a wash cloth over the sticky places, he heard Harry’s dulcet tones speaking with Merlin. He sounded pleased enough with the conversation, so Eggsy guessed that they were ok to spend the day, but more than that, there was something in Harry’s tone that was more agreeable than usual. Happy, Eggsy would have said. 

When he was finished, he found Harry had collected their clothes and placed them in neat piles at the foot of the bed. Harry was smiling at him, and finished with the conversation, glasses set back on the table. Eggsy caught Harry around the waist as he passed, however, and with effort swung the man around and pulled him down for another kiss. 

Surprised as Harry was, he was also pleased enough for a laugh and a firm press of his mouth back. He sighed into it before Eggsy released him, and with a lingering look, disappeared into the toilet. 

Eggsy was sure that whatever they did for the rest of the day, and the days soon to come, for once, he was looking forward to it.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking around, only a couple chapters left.

On the flight home, Eggsy slept against Harry’s side. 

It was just like old times, Harry thought, having one arm around the boy with his head on his chest and legs—longer now—curled up on the seat with him. Except that now they were in the jet, and Eggsy had completed his very own mission. With flying colours. 

The boy was beyond remarkable. And Harry was beyond awed by him. Still. 

Soaring through the sky with the mountains beneath them ever so slowly being swallowed up by dusk, Harry hoped that he would get to be awed by Eggsy for a long time yet to come. It would be more than he deserved, and more than he had dared hope for. 

When they landed, of course, Harry mentioned none of that. He patted Eggsy’s back, smiled, and told him he’d been drooling.

Eggsy wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and found none, catching himself in confusion and then looking back up at Harry, who was trying not to smile. Eggsy scoffed at him and then yawned. “Quit playin’.” 

Eggsy was all swagger as they descended into Kingsman headquarters with their luggage tucked under their arms or wheeling behind them, and Harry thought it fit just so. He could not hide his smile then, watching Eggsy from behind, greeting the landing crew like he owned the place. 

Eggsy would go on to carry that air of confidence and success throughout the formal debriefing at Harry’s side with Merlin and the other handlers documenting the mission. Harry couldn’t help but notice the way they were taken with him and his own particular charm. “Bit ah’ rough,” he called it, and Harry could imagine ten different places he might have picked that expression up. 

Harry was taken in by it all the same. 

By the time they left, it was well past midnight. The underground train was familiar for Harry, but unfamiliar with Eggsy in it. It was funny how that, of all things, was what struck Harry. More than Eggsy walking down the halls of HQ, more than him sharing the private jet, or speaking with Merlin over the com, it was sitting alone in the quiet of the tube. Harry sat there every morning and every evening, and watching Eggsy stare out the slim window at the passing darkness was like seeing it for the first time. 

Neither bothered unpacking before they went to bed. Their suitcases were left at the foot of the stairs, and Harry turned on the downstairs light only long enough to remove their jackets and kick off their shoes. 

Eggsy was chattering about something tiredly as they ascended, and Harry let him have first go at the toilet. He turned the light on his room and looked around, glad to see his own bed. They had not been gone for long, and, admittedly, he’d spent his most enjoyable moments of this mission in bed, but Eggsy had more to do with that than the hotel comforters did. 

When the door opened again and Eggsy came out, Harry went to go take his turn. He found the boy stretching in the hall, a little slice of skin peeking out above the top of his trousers his shirt didn’t quite cover. But Eggsy dropped his arms and sighed in contentment when he laid eyes on Harry. “Think I’m headed to bed.” 

It was one of the most casual statements Eggsy had made that day, and yet it brought Harry up short when he realised what Eggsy meant. 

Eggsy gave him a tired smile, as though he wasn’t thinking anything of it, and then went to turn the light on in the room across the short hall. His room. 

Of course his room. Harry chastised himself. He put on a smile. “Alright. Have a good night. And don’t forget your tutors will be here in the morning.” He paused and waited by the door, and sure enough, a groan emanated from Eggsy’s room. Harry huffed a small laugh. “Back to life as usual, I’m afraid.” 

“Can’t I have one more day off?” Eggsy called back around the sound of shuffling and the slide of fabric. “Don’t I deserve it?” It was easy to envision him changing into his pyjamas and folding back the covers of his bed, even though Harry couldn’t see him from his position around the corner. 

“I think you’ve had rewards aplenty for your hard work. As you well deserve, but as they say with all good things, they must come to an end.” Harry smiled to himself. 

And then Eggsy came around the door, this time in loose, cotton pyjamas that made him look so comfortable he might have fallen asleep on his feet. Harry found his smile wasn’t difficult anymore. “Have a good night, Eggsy.” 

“G’night, Harry.” Eggsy’s smile was all in his eyes and the corner of his mouth. It was a cheeky, sleepy expression that made Harry’s heart warm and think about how charming Eggsy was going to be very soon. Eggsy gave another yawn and closed the door behind him. But not all the way, Harry noted. He left it open just a crack, enough for the light to slip through and fall in a sliver as soon as Harry turned off the light in the hall. 

Somehow, Harry felt better after that. Not that he’d felt bad, he reminded himself, just that, well, that he’d gotten used to Eggsy in his bed. It was surprising how quickly that happened. A little switch in his mind flipping back to ‘normal’. Normal for them, once. 

Maybe normal again, someday. 

With that thought in mind, Harry brushed his teeth and cleaned up for the night, then checked on Eggsy’s door once more before he, too, retired to bed.

* * *

Tutors came and went as the weeks passed, an endless stream of them through Harry’s door. They set up at the dining table, or, if Eggsy could get away with it, the coffee table where he could enjoy the comfort of the couch. Diligently, Harry kept the upstairs off limits, even though it was only the bedrooms and his office. Civilian-proof as it was, he absolutely did not want any tutors poking about up there.

And Eggsy was bored. He couldn’t hide it. He was cooped up in the house, and, even if he loved this house in ways he hadn’t realised—an affection for its dark wood panelling and the curl of the rail at the bottom of the staircase and the familiar smell of the library or the way the stairs into the garage weren’t scary even though it could be pitch black if he didn’t turn the light on at the top…. But none of that took away the fact that he spent all his time there and nowhere else now. 

Harry caught him lounging on the couch with his homework spread out on the floor, skimming channels in a haze for too-long hours. He caught Eggsy drifting listlessly back and forth from the kitchen to the living room for no particular reason except to get up and move and pretend he had something to do. 

He kept up with his tutors, but did so begrudgingly. 

So Harry brought up the idea of Eggsy going back to school again. Delicately, at first. And at first Eggsy had the same reaction he’d had the last time they’d talked about it, and so Harry dropped the subject. Then, a few days later, Eggsy revived it again. Just a mention, nothing positive, but Eggsy knew how he was feeling and knew that a change might make a difference. On some level, he knew that he should be in the world again, not just cooped up in Harry’s house. 

It was strange, how there was still a tug of war inside him. The desire to be there in Harry’s domain and its familiarity every waking moment, and the ever present, bitter knowledge that it wasn’t completely right, either. He was settled now, more or less, but he had yet to _relax_. 

So they talked about school. Eggsy flat out refused to attend any sort of boarding school, but he didn’t want to return to his old one, either. Too many memories. He wasn’t in the same place anymore, and he wouldn’t fit there. His friends wouldn’t remember him. Or if they did, they’d ask questions he couldn’t answer. It filled the pit of his stomach with anxiety just to think about, and dread if they ever met again. Of course he knew the gist of what he would say. That his mum had lost custody and he’d moved away. Make himself sound boring and the like, show no interest in catching up. He knew anyone who knew him before would move on after an encounter like that, but he dreaded the thought of it. 

Harry didn’t push, but eventually Eggsy came around to the idea of something in the middle. They went through schools in the neighbourhood and decided on a few potentials. He didn’t want to start right away though. Something about it made him nervous, the thought of diving in that deep, committing to something like that, even if it was perfectly normal to do so. Tutors were easier. They were not friends, although they were friendly enough. They were hired and could be let go just as easily. It seemed irrational, even to Eggsy when he thought about it, but the tutors felt easier for the time being. 

Harry took him out instead. Whenever he could, he would bring Eggsy to a park or the movies or any new thing in town he could think of. 

Eggsy did not have friends, and he was wary of trying, wary of getting too close to anyone who wasn’t Harry, even though he was always friendly enough with strangers they met. But Harry knew that he would need some, someday. 

Although Eggsy kept his own room as he’d intended, there were nights he still went to Harry’s. Sometimes just to sleep. Sometimes more. The first time it happened since they’d been back from the mission in the Alps, Eggsy simply showed up at Harry’s door as he was getting ready for bed. 

Already in his pyjamas, Eggsy seemed hesitant for a moment, glancing to the floor and then back up at Harry, who had been at the dresser, buttoning his shirt. Eggsy then glanced to the bed. “Think I can stay with you for the night?” 

It was as straightforward as that. 

“Of course.” Harry pulled back the covers and Eggsy stepped through the threshold, and just like that he was back in Harry’s bed. Back even on the side he had grown used to. The one that used to be his.

Harry slid in beside him and then found he was a little unsure of what to do. Unsure of what Eggsy wanted, precisely, and what he didn’t. He hesitated to turn off the light. 

Eggsy pulled up the covers and offered Harry a fond look, just like the ones he wore years ago when he hadn’t always been so confident. It wasn’t meant to be coy, only reassuring, a smile to tell Harry that this was ok. That that was all he wanted. Eggsy turned on his side towards Harry and made himself comfortable. 

And so Harry turned out the light and did the same. He kept s a small distance between them, but laid his head down on the pillow next to Eggsy’s. In the dim glow of the street light outside the window, Harry could see him. Eggsy hadn’t stopped watching Harry, either. But Harry decided he didn’t want even that much distance between them. And judging by Eggsy’s presence and the fact that Eggsy hadn’t put that distance there, Harry thought might find a small touch welcome. So he reached out and laid his hand over Eggsy’s side. 

Eggsy closed his eyes. The small curve of his mouth looked a little less shy. A little more relaxed. He let himself curl towards Harry a little more. 

That was enough for Harry, too, and they fell asleep that night happier than they were before. 

And so Eggsy slowly began to relax. In Harry’s house and, occasionally, in Harry’s bed, but these things weren’t just Harry’s. Harry’s was the only house Eggsy had ever really called home. He had vague memories of his early childhood at the estates with his mum and his dad, and those memories were some of his fondest—when everything was simple and nothing ever hurt, where there were Christmas trees with silver tinsel and red and gold and green bulbs and presents underneath. And sometimes Eggsy would crawl underneath, too. He’d had favourite places like that in the flat. But those places had disappeared with his dad. His mum never kept them very well. His room had been his only sanctuary sometimes, and it hadn’t felt as welcoming back then. 

But he’d had Harry, too. The beginnings of Harry. 

Harry had seemed a bit of a fool in those days—a sweet and charming, dashingly handsome fool who always had time for Eggsy even though he shouldn’t have. No adult ever had time for Eggsy like that before. And Eggsy, well, Eggsy had been a brash kid, ready to get out of the flat any way that he could. And he hadn’t been stupid. He’d been wary in all the right ways. He remembered them well, suspicious of Harry’s friendship with the neighbour, suspicious of Harry’s dog…suspicious of someone like Harry around that neighbourhood at all. 

But Eggsy had wanted to be loved more than he’d wanted to be suspicious. And…he didn’t think he regretted it now. He couldn’t. He certainly hadn’t asked for the past couple years, but if he hadn’t met Harry…. If Harry hadn’t loved him the way Harry had, Eggsy would have never gotten to experience that. He would have never gotten to love Harry back. And he still did. At that point, even in his young life, he knew he always would. 

So it became a little easier to fall back into a routine, once Eggsy began to get used to being around Harry again. It was strange how easy it was, how comfortable he felt feeling himself slip back into old habits and feelings. The ease in which it happened even frightened him a little. Instinct and self preservation pulled him back when he noticed himself slipping into that state, and his days sometimes felt like floundering in water, sometimes above the surface and sometimes below. 

But Harry was patient with him. 

Or perhaps patient was the wrong word. Harry was always patient. There was no one more patient in the world than Harry, Eggsy often imagined. But Harry never asked for more, nor insinuated that he wanted more until Eggsy made the offer first. And Eggsy appreciated that beyond measure. 

Eggsy wasn’t the insecure kid he’d once been—at least not with Harry. He was secure in the knowledge that Harry wanted him, and that Harry was dedicated to him, even if certain doubts about his age and the type of love Harry could offer still surfaced once in a while. But Harry had pined over him for years, and hadn’t let go when he was gone. Whatever they had in the future, Eggsy felt that counted for something. Eggsy could believe that Harry would always love him in one way or another, and…after long nights thinking, he began to feel sure that that was what he wanted most. 

Sure, he wanted Harry to love him as Harry had, always. But if that didn’t happen—if he had to accept that things would change—then he thought that maybe he could accept that so long as Harry still loved him in a way. 

And that didn’t seem to be happening yet. 

Eggsy didn’t want to wait on pins and needles for the day it did, either. He knew he had to get out of the house. He had to make other friends, even if he didn’t want to. He should have had better self preservation instincts than that, to find people to lean on if he couldn’t lean on Harry forever. He used to be so good at making friends when he was little. A lot of the older boys in the estates had been good with him. Not all of them, sure—he remembered a few nasty ones, but he’d had friends. When he’d lived with the drug runners, he hadn’t had any. But that was no wonder. He hadn’t felt safe with them, not on that sort of level. They were all in it for business and that was survival. 

He had the chance now that he had a life outside of survival again. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to, or even remembered how with any sort of honesty. 

Growing close to Harry and all Harry’s secrets had separated him from everyone else. Anyone else. Eggsy didn’t even know if Harry had intended that in the beginning. Certainly Harry had with where his mum was concerned, but as far as other friends…. If he had, Eggsy knew it was for th sake of what Eggsy was to Harry, and what Harry was to Eggsy. Always for the sake of those secrets. Harry’s life was a world of secrets, and so Eggsy’s had followed suit. 

Eggsy wasn’t sure how he felt about that now. He’d become used to it. He’d kept up that mentality in the years he’d been away from Harry, and so maybe it had become a part of him. He wasn’t sure he could let it go now, if he did try to make any real friends. 

But he began to think on it more as the days passed and the tutors grew more tiresome and the idea of going back to school began to feel more inevitable. 

The defencive, childlike part of him may have wanted to stay cooped up in the house forever, but he began to realise that he couldn’t. That he might even want to go out. 

When Eggsy tentatively voiced a thought in that direction, Harry encouraged it. Eggsy mused aloud about the skate park over dinner one night. He hadn’t been there in ages, and his thoughts began to wander over the way he remembered it. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was still the same as back then. 

Harry had calmly suggested he take a ride down there one of those days, just to see, and for the first time in a long time, Eggsy didn’t immediately fear that Harry was trying to get rid of him. 

Eggsy brought up ideas like that probably a dozen times before he acted on one and stepped foot outside the house. 

It was the weekend, so no lessons, and Harry was home. Eggsy could have stayed in, but he thought maybe he’d like to check out some of the hangouts he’d known about down by the river and see if they were still there. Then, maybe—just maybe—he’d swing by the old skate park. 

Harry’s hand didn’t waver when Eggsy announced his plans in the middle of taking a sip of coffee, but Eggsy could tell he was surprised. 

Harry spent too long licking his lips and setting the cup down, but he hummed in a thoughtful manner—one that sounded a lot like approval. “I think the fresh air might do you good,” was all he offered, clearly trying not to put any extra pressure on Eggsy’s decision. They’d gone out together often enough, but Eggsy rarely went out alone, and when he did it was rarely farther than the shops round the corner. “Take some cash from the table on the way out.” 

That was that. Harry went back to his newspaper and avoided making any further comment, preferring to act as though this was normal, but he also wanted to make sure Eggsy had enough for the fair even if he had to take a cab. Super spy he may be, but sometimes Harry was so obvious. 

“See you in a bit,” was all Eggsy added in return, as though this were normal. It had been, once. And he didn’t want to acknowledge that it had become not-normal at some point since being back. Or even before then. Eggsy had been able to go where he pleased, more or less, but there were reasons he’d stayed away from familiar areas back then. 

He drew a deep breath and headed out, swiping some cash Harry often left for him on the table beside the front door along the way. 

The chill hit him as soon as he stepped outside, and Eggsy wrapped his coat tighter around himself to banish it. The sun was bright even through the clouds today, and although the effect created a dull grey tint to the sky, it was not a bad day for an excursion overall. Eggsy even began to appreciate the chill of the air as he headed off, hands in his pockets and making his way down the street for the tube. 

Whenever he went with Harry, they used a cab. Whenever Eggsy went anywhere alone, he rarely did. He’d never quite gotten used to it, and he didn’t like being in the enclosed space with a stranger. Someone who’d look down on him if Harry wasn’t there. 

But he wasn’t bothered about that today. The tube was preferable to a cab. He wanted to be among the wider world again, if just for a day. So he sat with the rest of the commuters, taking familiar lines down to the water, watching familiar stations pass out the windows along the way. 

Once he arrived and set foot back on the platform, it struck him that he was free again. As ‘free’ as he ever could be in London, or anywhere in this world, when Harry was concerned, but for the moment he stood looking out at the ferries on the water, a lone still figure on the walk with people passing all around him. No one knew him, no one cared about him, and that was…kind of nice. He was back with Harry now and that meant that even Merlin probably wasn’t watching. 

He better not be, anyway. 

But for the first time, when that familiar thought entered Eggsy’s head, he remembered Merlin’s voice in his ear as he flew down an [Austrian] slope—and for once, Merlin had been on his side. When Eggsy had had no one else. And when Harry and Merlin had had no one else to depend on, either. For the very first time, he felt a prickle of confidence that even if Merlin were watching, it wouldn’t matter so much anymore. Not when Eggsy gained the man’s respect, even just that once. 

He began to walk. 

He left the main streets and headed down to see if he could find the old hangouts the boys his age used to like to slip off to—sheds and docks they could hide behind and smoke or just get away and feel like they were somewhere else, in the thrumming heart of the city. Where they could watch the boats go by and imagine stowing away on one and just float on down the river. 

It had made for nice fantasies back then, but all the hideaways Eggsy found now were deserted. He supposed they hadn’t been heavily trafficked anyway, but it made him wonder if any of the boys he’d known back then were still around. The memories were nice, but he didn’t feel the inclination to linger long after returning once, and he doubted he’d return again. 

As he was leaving, the skate park began to linger on his mind. It wasn’t far. And if he got back on the tube then, he probably wouldn’t have another chance to see it in quite a while. Who knew how long, in fact, with the way this day out had been so rare to start with. 

Eggsy lingered at the crossroads, and at the last minute, decided to turn back towards the water and see what he could find. He had more than enough money now not to worry about catching another ride if he needed to. 

He hadn’t expected to feel anything other than the wistful familiarity he’d felt at the view of the river, but as Eggsy headed towards the park, his heart began beating faster and his spirits began to rise with anticipation. The park was one place he could be sure was populated. 

His racing heart didn’t slow the whole way there. 

He could tell when he was getting closer, catching sight of older teens and a couple kids his age along the way dressed in bright colours. His own clothes were a bit toned down compared to his usual style, but he wouldn’t stand out. Not like he’d started dressing like Harry or anything, they were just…new these days. And Eggsy didn’t plan on hanging around and talking with anyone for long. 

He really just wanted to see the place. 

As he crossed the last street, he could already hear the faint, tinny rumble of a radio from the other side of the wall, and immediately he could imagine the inside well enough. Memories flooded his mind, but the radio played a new song, not one he recognised from his days there, and the memories turned slightly surreal. 

He made sure to round the corner on the far side. The park wasn’t much of a ‘park’ at all, as it was fairly enclosed with half the place being inside and the other half being partially walled off from the outside. Eggsy just wanted to check it out at first—make sure he didn’t recognise anyone. More importantly, make sure no one recognised him. It would have been years, but still he didn’t want to risk it. Didn’t want to explain anything, not even the stories he’d come up with knowing he may have to someday if it ever happened. 

His feet hit the pavement and at first glance, he didn’t recognise any of the kids loitering about at the wall or idly kicking their boards around some of the smaller ramps. Garishly coloured graffiti gave them a backdrop they could almost blend into with bright jackets and trainers, but Eggsy picked them out one by one as he made his approach slowly, keeping to the outskirts of the concrete. 

He tried to be subtle about it, looking like he was curious, but not up to anything in particular or looking for anyone in particular. Although that may not have been the best idea, he realised as he got closer. Many of the regulars here would want to say hi to a new kid if one just came wandering in. He probably couldn’t avoid that unless he said he was looking for someone.

Eggsy caught a group of boys eyeing him from a rail not far away, and they weren’t being tactful about it. Not rude, exactly just, probably trying to get a reaction. So he made eye contact and lifted his head in a quiet hello, but didn’t stop to introduce himself. 

If he’d been here in the old days, he’d have brought his board and tried some tricks before asking to use a ramp with them, and that would have been enough to give him an in. 

Vague memories of the ski trip came back to him as he walked among the skaters. Thinking of befriending any of them was probably what caused it—those first hellos, the way kids his age and younger responded to a new face…. But Eggsy wasn’t on a mission here. This was supposed to be real, just him checking out an old skate park he used to haunt with his real friends. He didn’t have to think about whether he was friendly enough or cool enough to befriend anyone here, not for those reasons. 

“Oi, you lookin’ for someone?” one of the teenagers with scraggly green hair asked as he passed. He sounded like he might have been some kid’s older brother, used to that role. 

“Nah, just checkin’ the place out s’all.” Eggsy shrugged, but kept his voice light enough not to sound rude. Not too interested, but not too disinterested either. Always a careful balance. 

The guy’s attention dropped from him after a friendly nod and that was that. 

Eggsy could get back into this, if he wanted to, he began to realise. It felt easy walking among the skaters, watching them, remembering the days he’d had his own board here. They’d accept him. He looked just liked them, even spoke just like them, and all in a way that would be easier than him trying to fit in with Harry or the Wilsons or the rest of the people in that neighbourhood. 

But something in him hesitated at the thought. He had a new life now, whether he wanted to step into that class and that world of people or not. He’d always be burdened with Harry’s secrets. If he did step back into this crowd, and try to make real friends, he wasn’t sure they would feel real anymore. Eggsy had been afraid of trying that for a long time. 

He sighed, standing at the top of a staircase that led down to the indoor ramps. Nowhere inside the park was heated, and the metal railing felt like ice against his fingers, but he didn’t let go of it. He wanted something to ground him before he went back. He knew he had to, but he wanted to feel like he was really here if only for just a few minutes, and he wanted to take that memory back with him. 

He took in a deep breath of air and listened to the voices bounce off the walls below. Kids having fun, playing in their own worlds where making it over the highest ramp or the longest jump was their greatest achievement. They’d talk about such things back at school during the week before they could slip off here again and try even harder just to make it a little farther, a little higher…. All in hopes of being a little cooler to their friends. 

Eggsy swallowed. He wasn’t a part of that world anymore. 

A lump formed in his throat as he unclasped his hands from the rail and began to turn back. Time to go. He’d done what he came to do, saw what he’d come to see, but then, out of the corner of his eye, something caught his attention. 

A boy on the floor below, just at the bottom of the steps, had vaulted himself off the top of a ramp and landed atop one of the pipes only to run down it and then launch himself onto the spine of another ramp without ever touching the ground. Eggsy paused. 

He’d never seen anything quite like that before. The kid didn’t appear to be running from anyone, not like a game of tag where someone was chasing him and he was trying to keep out of their reach. When Eggsy leaned back up to the rail and peered down to catch sight of him again, he was still going. It looked more like he was trying to run an obstacle course over the ramps without touching the ground. And he was _good_ at it, too. 

The kid nearly fell once, jumping between two of them, but he stuck his feet out at the last second and caught himself between two walls, using the friction to keep himself supported. 

Eggsy’s mouth fell open. 

The kid spread his hands out and, being just able to reach the wall on either side of him, began to use both feet and hands to propel himself upwards to the top. Below, shouts and applause came from the small crowd that had gathered. He wasn’t even on a skateboard, but he had everyone’s attention. Including Eggsy’s. 

Back up on the top of the ramp, the kid took a bow and then slid back down. Eggsy watched him descend to the ground, wondering what that was. Some of the others were trying to mimic him, running at the back of a ramp that formed a wall and then launching themselves off it like they were in some kind of karate film, but Eggsy could see they weren’t as good. But he guessed that if they were, the end result would have been a back flip off the wall. 

For the next ten minutes, Eggsy was rooted to the spot, entranced. The skateboards that used to fill his head with tricks and grinds and half pipes seemed pale in comparison to the sheer physicality and simplicity of what this boy had done, running through the ramps like they’d been an obstacle course just waiting for him. 

With his heart racing, Eggsy’s hands let go of the railing one more time, but this time his feet didn’t carry him towards the street. This time, they carried him down the staircase. 

Joining the other kids on the underground floor was strangely familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He remembered the place well enough, but none of the faces, and certainly not this kind of activity. The kid who’d been running over the ramps before had a friend who was pretty good at it, too. That boy joined the others trying to run up the wall, but he was able to do it and execute a back flip almost perfectly. The landing was a little shaky, but he made it all the way around without issue and as far as the kids were concerned, that was great. 

Eggsy’s fingers gripped the cold railing as he watched them, very quickly becoming aware of the muscles and tendons in his body. Half remembered moves on the parallel bars at gymnastics flooded his mind and his fingers itched to let go. His feet itched to join them. 

He took a breath and then stepped into the small crowd, catching bits of the conversation and watching as a few more of the boys tried to execute some of the moves the the other two had done. Eggsy paid close attention, watching the way one of them planted his feet as he ran up the wall and pushed off it. One step, two steps, and flip. Again, one, two, and flip. 

Years ago, Eggsy had been able to do something similar, but not in this setting. He glanced down at his trainers, and determined they were just flexible enough that maybe, maybe he could try. If he failed, he wouldn’t be any worse than the other kids who were trying and weren’t nearly as impressive. Most of them just ran at the wall and tried to climb as high as they could go with the friction of their trainers instead of attempting the flip at the end. No one wanted to break their necks. 

Neither did Eggsy, truth be told. He didn’t even know why he was down here except that the sight of what that boy had done had drawn him like nothing else had in a long time. It had drawn him in the way he’d first ever seen men performing gymnastics and he’d tried it himself. It had been a long time since he’d felt that spark. 

He stepped away from the group of kids watching and began to shrug out of his jacket, sizing up the wall. Kids were skateboarding on the other side of it, the other side being a ramp, and it really wasn’t that wide. But the kids making attempts to copy the two more experienced ones were taking turns, more or less, so all Eggsy had to do was wait to join them. 

The chill bit into his skin as he tossed aside his coat, making sure that his phone and money were safe in his trousers before he let it go, and he began to wonder if he was really going to do this. He hadn’t been keeping up with gymnastics in a long time. He wasn’t too out of shape or anything, and he knew he was still confident in himself and capable. The stark drop of a ski slope filled his mind’s eye as he stared at the wall, remembering the way he’d felt knowing there was no other way but down, and _now_. 

He’d had no practise for this recently, but Eggsy remembered the way it felt. He remembered how to pull his legs and lift himself into the air, how to throw his head back and let his shoulders follow, how to tuck his legs in at just the right time and follow through. 

The other kids weren’t expecting him to join, although a few had noticed him taking off his coat and eyeing up the wall. When he stepped up to the position they’d all been starting from though, they let him in. He didn’t want to go two at a time like some of the others had been, so he waited for another boy to finish before he took a breath, stared hard at the wall, and remembered what the motions were like from years ago. 

He crouched for a second, skin tingling and muscles tight, and for that split second he heard Merlin’s voice in his ear again, telling him he could do this, that it was just a little further, and he imagined Harry’s smiling face at the end.

Eggsy took off. 

He sprinted the short distance to the wall, let his body do the thinking for him, and planted his feet against it—one step, two steps, and then the push-off. He was up in the air higher than he’d ever been for a back flip before, but he felt his weight catch the motion and he threw his head back, shoulders following, knees bending—all just like he remembered. And then his feet hit the ground with a slap. 

He’d done it. 

He stood there, breathing hard, a little stunned that he’d pulled it off. He wasn’t sure he’d actually taken the time to think about what would happen if he didn’t. Or what would happen if he did. 

“Whoaah!” A shout came up from behind him, breaking the spontaneous silence that had descended upon the group when a new kid showed up out of nowhere and managed to copy the move perfectly. And then the silence broke as others joined in the exclamation. A smattering of claps rose up in the air and someone shouted “ _Damn,_ kid, where’d you come from?” 

Eggsy laughed and looked around. The other boys his age, the ones who’d been trying to run up the wall without doing the flip, came over now, all of them talking at once. Everyone, all around him, was all talking at once. The kid Eggsy had watched running the ramps to start with even came over to tell him that was cool, and Eggsy didn’t hesitate to say that he’d seen him doing the obstacle course. 

The kid just laughed and told him it was called parkour. 

Eggsy stayed with them for hours after that. The two who were good at it were named Jesse and Nuts, and Eggsy didn’t ask how Nuts had gotten his name and Nuts didn’t ask how Eggsy had gotten his. They told him all about it, how they ran anywhere they could like that, turning London into their own little jungle gym of sorts. They only had to be fast enough to get away from the cops if they needed to. And Eggsy soaked up every word. 

They showed him more moves, some that he was able to pull off, and others he wasn’t, but none felt so far out of reach that he lost the spark of interest that seated itself so quickly and so thoroughly into his chest the moment he saw Jesse flying over the ramps. 

He stayed hours later than he thought he would. Even in his wildest imaginings of running into old friends there and them somehow hitting it off again, he had not imagined this. By the time the sun was going down and the street lights came on, Eggsy realised he’d stayed half the day, and he was exhausted, but all the other boys were all going home, and so he knew he might as well, too. 

Halfway through he’d forgotten about why he went there to start with. In the midst of their tricks, he’d forgotten the nostalgia he felt for this place or the faces that were missing from it. He forgot that there was no one down by the water anymore, and that he’d half hoped that maybe there would have been. When he did remember those things, Eggsy realised that maybe having a day like today was better after all. 

It was something new. Something exciting, that didn’t have any weight attached to it, and something that he was good at. 

Of course the other kids invited him back. He said sure, that he’d think about it, but he already hoped that he could. 

He knew as he walked away, waving goodbye for the night, that he might not. He might feel differently in the morning. The risk in making new friends who knew him as Eggsy and would ask questions about where he came from and who he knew might not be worth it. But his spirits were high as he left, and he wanted nothing more than to enjoy that feeling for a while, while he could. 

When he came home that night, Harry had dinner ready, and didn’t ask how his day was until they were settled in. It was a calm affair for how unusual the day had been for Eggsy, but with Harry’s gentle questions, he opened up and told him about going back to the park and the new tricks he’d seen there, and Harry seemed to approve. Honestly approve, if the smile at the corner of his mouth and the warmth in his eyes were any indication. That was one of Harry’s real smiles, and so Eggsy didn’t feel bad for leaving the house or trying to make friends. 

Harry had always told him he shouldn’t feel bad about those things anyway, and most of the time Eggsy tried not to think about it with any sort of guilt. It was the wary side of him that kept him away, but for once tonight, he had let himself enjoy something and engage with other people over it without strings attached. 

Harry seemed honestly happy for him. And that was a nice feeling. 

After dinner, Eggsy was so tired all he wanted to do was sit in the living room with Harry and watch the telly, and Harry was quite content to let Eggsy snuggle up to his side and sprawl his legs out on the couch. It was a position they had spent a lot of time in reverse, with Harry and his long legs spread out and Eggsy nestled in either in the crook of them or beside him. But now Harry put his arm around Eggsy and stroked his shoulder as they watched some slow film that Eggsy was too comfortable to pay much attention to. His mind kept drifting even though he wasn’t yet tired enough to go to sleep. 

He rested his head in Harry’s lap and let his eyes droop, and Harry took it as invitation to run his fingers through Eggsy’s hair. Such fine strands, always soft, never coarse even when Eggsy put product in it. His whole body had gone limp against Harry, like a breathing puddle of a human, and Harry found it both amusing and delightfully endearing. 

It wasn’t so rare that Eggsy got this close these days. Not since their mission together. Certainly not anything to be taken for granted, but not so unusual that Harry was left holding his breath and dreading the moment Eggsy would pull away and not come back for days on end again. This was comfortable. And unbelievably nice. 

Eggsy rubbed his cheek into Harry’s trouser leg and let his eyes drift closed. He sighed softly and curled his fingers against the soft fabric—some ridiculously high thread count that only Kingsman tailors could provide, he assumed. He knew Harry would enjoy that, but Harry didn’t make a sound beyond his soft, steady breathing nor give Eggsy any other response but the gentle fingers in his hair. 

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Eggsy asked, quiet and content. 

Harry only thought for a moment, probably calculating the events of the day into his Eggsy-database and deciding whether or not that would be a good idea. “Of course you can,” was the forthcoming answer, just as warm and gentle as his hands. 

“Thanks.” Eggsy knew Harry was staring at the side of his face, knew Harry was enjoying the moment probably just as much as Eggsy was, and Eggsy liked that. He was too tired to feel the hesitations and misgivings and the second thoughts in every possible way he could think of, and all he wanted to do was enjoy this moment on the couch with Harry after a day of being out. And Harry let him. 

His breathing drew out in a deep rhythm and his eyes slipped closed. He felt like his body was getting ready for sleep, but his mind wasn’t tired, as though half of him could go under while the rest of him stayed in the waking world. 

They sat like that for a long time. Eggsy dazedly wondered whether Harry would ask about his day out, but Harry was leaving the subject untouched so far. Surely Harry wondered, but he seemed to be neglecting the topic out of respect rather than uncomfortable avoidance, and Eggsy could understand why. 

Harry didn’t want to impose. He didn’t want to seem like he was checking in, or pressuring Eggsy either way on whether he decided to go out or not. 

Eggsy thought he should tell Harry, probably. There was no reason to keep it to himself, and his day at the park had been quite eventful, all things considered. Compared to what he’d expected, at the very least. But he kept it to himself for now. Going there and staying so long hadn’t been anticipated, and Eggsy didn’t know when he’d be back. He didn’t even know if he would go again, although the excitement of the day still hadn’t totally worn off. His thoughts still drew back to visions of the improvised obstacle course and the methods he’d practised to run it. He could still feel echoes of the motions in his limbs, and it was a pleasant feeling. 

Eggsy didn’t know if he’d be back, but he hoped he would experience that again. 

When it was finally time for bed, they went about their usual nightly routine in comfortable silence. Everything was practised, everything was familiar, and Eggsy didn’t feel nervous when he went into his room to change into his pyjamas before joining Harry for the night. 

He rarely felt nervous in Harry’s presence, when he really thought about it, even when he’d been angry and upset. It struck him as a little strange, but it was also a comfort, in a way. 

Eggsy climbed in on his side of the bed and let Harry turn out the lights. It dipped when Harry climbed in after him, Harry’s weight creating a far deeper depression than his own, but the mattress was nice and plush and it didn’t disturb Eggsy. He only felt it, that pull of gravity in the space Harry created, when he scooted closer. 

Eggsy wanted Harry’s arms around him, and he let Harry know by getting as close as he could without any further suggestiveness in his movements. 

Of course, Harry obliged. His arms wrapped around Eggsy and held him gently, but firmly. The position allowed Eggsy to tuck his head under Harry’s chin and curl into him. How familiar it was, the way Harry smelled after brushing his teeth for the night and the day’s cologne still fading on his skin. It set a deep sense of comfort into Eggsy’s bones. Harry smelled like home. Harry felt like home. He felt like good memories if Eggsy just let himself sink into it. Some of the best memories Eggsy had, in fact. But not all were specific ones. Harry had driven himself deep into Eggsy’s subconscious mind and planted himself there like a foundation. He could be ignored from time to time, but never forgotten. 

Eggsy wondered if he was planted in Harry’s mind the same way as he drifted off to sleep. He liked to think that he was.

* * *

Eggsy returned to the skate park not long after. It took him a lot to work up to it. He spent a whole day thinking about it and staying in, a tug of war going on inside him he hadn’t anticipated. He hadn’t anticipated the draw of a new sport and how it would affect him. He hadn’t anticipated being able to feel _excited_ about something like that again, and yet there it was, creeping into the back of his mind and making his heel tap at the floor, ready to get back out there and move again. 

Harry noticed his restlessness because Harry noticed everything. Over breakfast his gaze darted from Eggsy’s jumpy leg up to meet Eggsy’s eyes with a knowing quirk of the mouth, but Eggsy had brushed him off and tried to ignore it. 

On the second day, he made it to the afternoon before he realised he didn’t want to any longer. He wanted to go out, and his tutors had left for the day already. He had homework to do, but he didn’t want to do it. His mind was occupied by one thing alone, and he decided it was stupid to resist at that point. 

There was no risk to going out. Except that he might like it. 

And wasn’t that just it—the real fear. Eggsy was afraid to like something again. Afraid it may be taken away from him if circumstances ever changed. He knew he’d done his best to see that that wouldn’t happen again, but the anxiety sat deep inside him somewhere after every figure in his life had left at one point or another. In one way or another. Even if one of them had come back. 

So it took him another hour, mulling on that, before he decided he’d had enough. This was something that couldn’t be taken away from him if he learnt to do it. Not easily, at least. There were no boards or skates or any other special equipment involved, simply Eggsy’s own skill and ability. If he had that, it didn’t matter where he was or what was going on in his life. 

And the other kids there, well, they were nice, but it wasn’t about them. 

When Eggsy finally left, it was with determination to have a good time and enjoy the rest of the day for himself alone. And that wasn’t difficult when his mind was off his reservations. 

He went down to the skate park and met up with a few kids who had been there before, and he resumed the practise he’d started. Throughout the day, he spoke to a lot of people, and even saw Nuts again and some of the other kids from the day he’d first gone. It didn’t require effort, not like it had with the kids on Harry’s mission, or the kids at the shelter or the drug runners. Eggsy didn’t need anything from these kids. He was there to practise what he wanted to learn, and they came and went as they pleased. He didn’t need their approval and he didn’t even need to talk to anyone if he didn’t want to, so when he did, it was easy. 

Eggsy kept going after that. Day by day, sometimes he did, and sometimes he didn’t, but the pull of this new game held his attention, and it was like a breath of fresh air. He was even getting friendly with some of the other boys. 

When he told Harry where he was going, Harry looked surprised, but immediately happy for him, and Eggsy was grateful. Somewhere in the back of his mind, maybe he’d feared Harry would have reservations. He didn’t know why Harry would—Eggsy had gone over every reason not to go to the park himself and he hadn’t thought of any important ones—but somehow he’d been hesitant. Whatever weight had been on his shoulders fell away with Harry’s approval, however, and soon he was happy to tell Harry about the new tricks he was learning, and even showed him a few out in the mew. 

Harry was impressed. Honestly impressed, and he congratulated Eggsy on his skill and not having lost his muscle memory in the years since gymnastics, but he didn’t suggest that Eggsy find a class and rejoin. Harry probably would have encouraged it the moment Eggsy brought up something like that, but he could tell this was an activity Eggsy enjoyed strictly without a structured environment. And Harry didn’t interfere. 

He let Eggsy make his own schedule apart from the tutoring lessons, and that worked well for Eggsy. He may not have gone along with it had Harry tried to impose one on him, and, frankly, neither of them would have been comfortable with it. 

When Harry wasn’t on missions, he kept to a regular schedule and that provided some stability in the house. He made breakfast and dinner and went out to exercise, and Eggsy fell into Harry’s routine when he wasn’t off on his own. Being off on his own finally broke some of the funk he’d been in since returning to the house. Eggsy had always clung desperately to what was his—his freedoms, his strengths, his abilities, and his space—and he finally had some of that back, things that were his and not shared with Harry or dependent upon Harry. It made the times he was home easier, too. 

So Eggsy began to get used to a new routine, as much as one could have a routine living with a spy who was suddenly called away every few weeks and often held irregular schedules. It was still hard not to worry over Harry, and Harry was aware of that. Harry made it as easy on Eggsy as he possibly could, telling Eggsy about his missions when he returned, either over dinner or over nights spent curled up on the couch. 

Harry did not often come back with injuries, and when he did they were minor. For that, Eggsy was grateful. He remembered worse, but he had to remind himself that he’d known Harry intimately for a long time now, and those times had been very, very few. And Harry was better than he’d been when Eggsy had been gone. He was more stable, not drinking so much, not running himself ragged. He was less likely to get hurt. 

All Eggsy had to do was try to forget that Harry only had to fuck up once for all of it to end on a mission gone bad. 

He didn’t let himself. Whenever his thoughts turned in that direction, he went out. He went to meet up with the other boys—his friends now—who ran with him through the city. After a few months, they’d expanded out of the skate park and taken their game to any place they could. London was fast becoming their playground. 

If Harry knew, he never admonished Eggsy for it, only encouraged him. Eggsy and the others had a couple close calls with the police for being the public menaces they were, but they always managed to escape. 

There were times Eggsy wondered what Harry would do, or could do, if he was ever caught. Sure, running around on top of buildings and being an annoying punk of a kid might get him pulled down to the station, but he wouldn’t be in serious trouble, not compared to being caught running drugs or some of the other stuff he used to have to do, but it would put him and Harry on their radar and Harry wouldn’t appreciate that. So, Eggsy made up his mind never to get caught. 

And Harry let him do it. 

Sometimes he wondered if Harry worried over him like he worried over Harry. Maybe not quite to the same degree, but Eggsy’s escapades around the city weren’t exactly safe by most standards. Even for a spy. Eggsy got to see Harry train more often, and it was always in as safe an environment as he could manage. Practising safely for the missions that wouldn’t be. But when Eggsy played on concrete parks and ran over rooftops, there were no such precautions. 

Sometimes he imagined Harry’s eyes lingering on the scrapes and bruises he earned every now and then, but Harry never voiced hesitance over Eggsy’s pastime. 

Their lives had fallen half back into what they’d been before, and half into something new. Eggsy had ‘friends’ now. Friends who took him out of the house, but often he was eager to return to Harry at the end of the day and regale the older man with his accomplishments and failures. The near misses with the cops and the looks on the little old ladies’ faces as Eggsy scaled passed their windows. 

Harry would listen and laugh and laugh. The more Eggsy got into it, the more Harry liked hearing him talk. 

Eggsy didn’t always sleep in his own room, either. And sometimes when he went to Harry’s, he didn’t always spend that time sleeping. 

Those encounters were sporadic at first. Harry rarely knew when they were going to happen. It always came about when Eggsy had gone too long without, when he missed Harry just a little too much—his touch, his taste, his eyes, his affection. Or sometimes Eggsy just came home excited and wanted a shag. 

The more they happened, the more they became a part of the routine. Still not regular, but regular enough that Harry could be certain it would happen again within a week or two. And with those intimate moments, and the other kinds of intimate moments they shared just living in the house together again, Harry began to relax. 

It was a strange thing for Eggsy to notice, since Harry always seemed relaxed, but Harry did. It was something intangible, something Eggsy couldn’t quite put his finger on, but he felt it between them. He began to realise it was coming from himself, too. He was beginning to relax. As much as he could, anyway. 

He let himself begin to collect things again—various personal items around the house. Harry had bought him his own wardrobe early on, but Eggsy picked up a couple books here and there when they went out. He’d been reluctant about those things at first. Even though he’d wanted to make Harry pay for everything, quite literally, he’d often chosen things to do and see rather than things for himself to take home and keep. Somewhere along the line, having only a small set of personal items had been easier than having ones he might lose. 

He didn’t really intend to make a change there, but nevertheless, it happened. Harry pointed out figures from a video game Eggsy liked, or a poster, and somehow, one by one, they wound up in Eggsy’s room. 

It was becoming his room again, although different than it had been before. That time away would have been a long time for any kid, Eggsy realised on some level, but he wasn’t sure if that made things any easier. At least he enjoyed spending more time there, having his own personal space sometimes. Although his heart still leapt with joy when he heard the click of the front door when Harry got home late, or it would beat with quiet fondness when he’d been up late doing homework or playing video games and heard Harry climbing the stairs out in the hall. 

It still amazed Eggsy, how Harry could be so many things in his life, all at once. Months ago, he’d been terrified of him. Before that, he’d loved Harry with all his heart, without hesitation. And now…now Harry didn’t frighten him anymore. And he still loved Harry with all his heart, but Eggsy knew better about the depths of darkness and desperation that could lie inside of people. Inside of Harry, and many of the other men Eggsy had met since then. 

Yet Eggsy still stayed up every night that Harry came home late, and he still missed Harry every day that he was gone. Eggsy still feared _for_ Harry, and he found it strange how some of his fears could last and others could fade. Harry hadn’t changed. Kingsman hadn’t changed, but Eggsy finally got a little more perception on both. And finally got a taste of taking care of himself, for once, and other people depending on him. That had been something he’d never felt before. Except maybe those times when he was very young and Harry would look at him like he was the most amazing thing in the world. Instant confidence boost, right in Harry’s eyes. 

But what he’d done on that mission for Kingsman had been different. A similar feeling, perhaps, but very different on the whole. 

Sometimes, Eggsy took out old photos of his dad and then stood in the mirror, comparing them, imagining what he’d looked like if he could have seen himself going down those slopes. Imagining what his dad might have been like as a Kingsman agent in training. 

Eggsy had a lot of suspicions about a lot of the people who made up the organisation, and those suspicions had lasted a long time, but he didn’t suspect his dad was hiding secrets like Harry was. Or like Merlin was. And when Eggsy asked Harry about the other agents, Harry explained that some had their deeply secret vices and others had a more standard fare. The usual sort that people had. In Harry’s eyes, most everyone had a vice of some sort. 

When Eggsy had asked Harry what Harry thought his vice was, Harry had sat back across the dinner table with a thoughtful look, eyes looking through Eggsy more than at him, until he finally answered. “Me.”

Eggsy hadn’t been able to argue that. But he at least considered himself safe from developing any others at that point. 

When Eggsy looked in the mirror and thought back to that trip, and imagined his father’s face over his own, he could imagine what it might be like to do what Harry did, but not _be_ Harry. Eggsy knew he would only ever be himself. Trying to be like Harry…. Maybe he could manage to do it for 15 minutes, but beyond that he was sure the act would fall flat. But Eggsy had always been proud of what his dad did, before he’d known what his dad did, and when he found out, that hadn’t changed. But by all accounts Lee Unwin had managed to be successful, even though he hadn’t been at all like Harry and the other agents Eggsy had seen. And even Eggsy had managed to do well, better than expected, the first time he’d gone on a mission with Harry. 

It was a strange way to find a bit of confidence, Eggsy decided in the end. Some confidence that he didn’t need to live up to the background Harry and everyone in this neighbourhood and that organisation had—that Eggsy could do the same work just as good, if not better, someday.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Come visit us on tumblr:
> 
> SilusLocke: [silusl.tumblr.com](http://silusl.tumblr.com/)
> 
> x57: [thepiperofhameln.tumblr.com](http://thepiperofhameln.tumblr.com/)


End file.
